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natasha-in-space · 1 year

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Sweet Begining

Ray/cmc Lila Lancelot;

A birthday gift to @marshmallowprotection! I hope I did Lila justice, as I love her to the moon and back, and want only the best for her. This drabble takes place in the first few days after Lila's arrival to Magenta, the bond between the developer and his precious tester growing stronger by the day.

Once again, happy birthday, Kait! :D

"Oh... Ray this dress is stunning..."

Lila had no idea how in the world did Ray manage to get all of her measurements this precise and accurate, but in the end, she decided to brush it off as sheer luck and his caring nature coming into play. After all, he was always so considerate of all her needs... Even when she tried to hide something from him so as to not bother him too much. Everything in her life seemed to get better and brighter by the day ever since she came here. Sometimes, she even doubted whether or not this is truly a reality she's living or just a sweet dream her mind has carefully sewn together in order to keep her painful heart at peace.

She is helping to create something great, a wonderful game that will undoubtedly help so many people in need once it finally reaches its proper release, a game the characters of which she has already become so very attached to.

She lives in the most beautiful and comfortable conditions she has ever lived in, and to top it all off, everyone treats her with such sincere kindness and respect, that she was seriously considering on staying here for a longer period of time once the testing will inevitably come to its end. Especially with Ray slowly but surely becoming one of her closest friends, their bond blossoming by each day.

Sure, sometimes the characters of this game seemed weirdly realistic for a simple dating sim, but then again, it was easy to brush it off on the professionalism of the developers. Or... rather, a developer? Maybe Ray was the only one doing it. He never shared much on the developing process with her, and it's not like she was knowledgeable on the field of game design.

In any case... Today, they were planning on taking a walk in the garden, which was truly gorgeous on the eyes, not to mention the fragrant scents of various flowers blooming and flourishing in the warm summer sun. This certainly wasn't the first time Ray would take her out there, but today was a rare occasion of him managing to catch a break during the day, rather than in the middle of the night. What she wasn't expecting though, was for him to bring her a small gift in the form of a beautiful puffy dress that matched his suit perfectly in its colour pallette. It was a perfect combination of her sweet style with his daily outfit. And yes, she liked it, very much so. No, she absolutely loved it. Ray was so considerate of her interests and hobbies, and it was making her heart flutter just to think of him carefully researching through his options, determined on picking the one that she'd definitely like, while at the same time, one that would remind her of him whenever she wore it. It was... not something she was used to. To be cared for like this.

But, it was nice.

She had no idea what was so special about her for Ray to choose her as his tester... However, without a doubt, she was forever grateful for this opportunity. This was becoming so much more than mere entertainment to her, and she was anxious to see what her future holds in this magical place.

Ray couldn't help but smile at the charming sight of her timid yet happy smile. He liked seeing Lila smile so much... Seeing her eyes twinkle with joy filled his chest with so much warmth, he felt like there was nothing he couldn't do, if only that meant that his actions will bring about another smile on her face. He wanted his lovely princess to always keep smiling at him like that.

To always keep smiling... He only wished that he'd be the only one privy to such an enchanting sight, however selfish this wish of his may be.

"I'm happy that you like it!" Still, clearly embarrassed by the praise directed at him in her sweet voice, he couldn't help but look away for a brief moment, hoping and praying that he didn't seem too weird in her eyes. "I... tried really hard. This dress really brings out your beautiful eyes. It reminds me... of sweet chocolate."

He put his glowed hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat and still unable to suppress his smile as he looked her over, mesmerized by her elegant beauty. She was making him come alive with such simple words... He couldn't imagine choosing anyone else to be his tester.

"Ah, jeez, you're spoiling me..." Lila giggled in embarrassment, absentmindedly playing with her carefully styled curls. She couldn't help the warm blush gradually covering her cheeks at his sugary compliments that just kept making her heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings. Taking in his appearance more closely, she couldn't help but furrow her brows, noticing deep dark bags under his eyes. "But, you look very tired... Did you have trouble sleeping again? Maybe it'd be better for you to use this break to take a nap, rather than waste it on entertaining me?"

It's true that his Savior gave him a new urgent assignment in early morning, so he had no choice but to fulfill it. Well... He slept for about one hour at most as a result of that. Although, he did initially plan on sleeping for an hour longer today, since Lila insisted on him taking better care of himself. But, then again, this sort of thing is merely part of his routine at this point. Nobody ever worried about him getting enough sleep, before Lila came here... Didn't he always look like this?

"Ah... I do have a lot of work to take care of. But, it's my duty to make sure you're happy while staying with us." Ray took a small step forward, hoping to reassure her worries. She is so caring... "Don't worry about me. I'm just a little tired, but I'm fine, really. Spending time with you gives me more than enough energy. So? Are you alright with accompanying me?"

He was still unsure about so many things when it came to communicating... Having friends, or any close company for that matter, wasn't something he had a chance to experience before. But whenever he was next to her, he truly wasn't afraid to try and be a bit bolder with his desires, despite all his fears and doubts,

When it comes to Lila, perhaps, what attracted her to Ray most of all was his personality. She did have the tendency of being perceived as somewhat naive or even weak due to her kind and caring nature... And while it definitely hurt to be treated like that by the people she trusted, she never let it make her cruel. No, she wanted to treat the world around her with kindness, to give those she met warmth that she never got. In truth, Lila wasn't stupid or naive... She merely made a conscious choice to try and see good in everyone.

But, Ray... He never once tried to take advantage of her soft nature. Moreover, he openly admired her and treated her with the same respect she has given him. It was easy for her to start feeling comfortable in his gentle presence.

So, she humored him. "Of course... You know how much I love visiting the garden with you. But hey, you should still rest, you know?"

It wasn't long till the pair were leisurely strolling down the beautifully adorned halls of the building, Lila's hands holding onto Ray's arm as she eagerly chattered about his game, hoping to provide as much helpful feedback as possible. Neither of them minded any occasional passerbys rushing by to go about their daily tasks, too engrossed into their private talk.

"-I'm sure many people will like this game... But, I wanted to ask you if we'll be in touch after the testing ends? I would like to continue spending time with you even after my departure." Lila smiled, a hint of melancholy flashing through her eyes. She wasn't confident in outward asking to stay here quite yet. Not before Ray confirms that it would truly be okay for her to want that.

He hummed, somewhat nervously darting his gaze from side to side, as if he was unsure on how to respond to that. "Ah, well... I have been developing my AI's for a very long time. Thank you for your praise, I really appreciate it. And... I'm sure we'll... keep in touch. Actually, there is a way for you to stay here indefinitely... I was planning on bringing it up with you some time further into our testing. I'm happy that our hearts seem to have connected once again."

It did feel wrong for him to lie in her face like that. But he knows he's doing it for the right purpose. He's doing this to save her. He knows about Lila's pain more than anyone else. She's the same as him, which is why saving her from that cruel outside world is so important to him. But, for that to happen, he must act carefully and not rush things. That's what his Saviour told him.

And, the more time he spent right by her side, the more intense these feelings of his got.

Still, for now... He needs to keep this facade. He is sure that, one day, she will be happy in their paradise, once she finally comes to know everything as it truly is, and is, at last, saved by his hand. She will be just as happy as he is. She just has to wait a bit. And it seems... He's getting more impatient by the day.

Through all his daydreaming, he didn't even notice them finally coming out into the warm sun in the garden, not until the fragrant scent of flowers hit his nose. But, even that did not keep his attention for long as he lowered his gaze at his precious tester, smiling tenderly at a small bud of red camellia's to her right.

God... He wanted to hold her hand so much...

Instead, he awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to brush away all these unwanted fantasies filling up his mind like a swarm of determined bees. Taking a step closer to her, he couldn't help but smile, uttering a small compliment without even giving his words a single thought before they flew off the tip of his tongue. "As expected, you look very pretty. I was hoping to see you in this dress surrounded by my favorite flowers... I wish I could take a picture of you. I know you'll make a perfect member for our growing... company."

"Um... But, I don't really have any extraordinary skills. And it feels kind of unfair, you know? It's better to accept those who can bring plentiful of help with their abilities. I still think this garden is much more pretty than me, but thank you, haha. It feels like I'm in a fairytale every time I get to come out here." Lila looked around at the various buds with a gentle smile on her plump lips.

Ray sighed dreamily, continuing to watch her as she rustled about the garden. So honest and kind... So much so, that she would rather give up a good position to others who might need it, than take it for herself. He was surprised that Lila sometimes described herself as incapable and unworthy, despite these wonderful traits he found so dear in her. As if she didn't notice her own perfectness whatsoever. But it's... It's so obvious to him.

Ah, he certainly did not make a mistake with his choice.

"No, you're just the right fit for us. I'm sure you just don't realize your own potential quite yet." He smiled at her, following her along further into the lush bushes. The beauty of the flowers long lost on him, as he kept his gaze trained on her back, observing her long curls flowing in the wind. "And thank you for the compliment. Actually... I planted some of the flowers here myself."

A little embarrassed, he scratched the back of his neck, hoping that he didn't sound too show-offish to her. "Well... Only a few, really."

He carefully pinpointed a few white lilies growing nearby. 'Purity and innocence'. They suit her. Lila as a whole... Could be compared to a flower in his eyes. So beautiful, kind and gentle... and just as fragile. More than anything else, he wanted to be the one to protect her from any harm that could come her way.

At this point, his staring has become adamant to even Lila herself, as she turned to look back at her friend over her shoulder. Perhaps, that's partially due to the fatigue he was effortlessly fighting off this whole day. Either way, she didn't seem to mind him always observing her from afar, much to his relief.

Yes, he definitely didn't get enough sleep. Though, Lila couldn't help but admit that he looked kind of cute, so drowsy and clumsy like that. Letting out a soft giggle, she took one of his hands into her own as a way to gently attract his attention. "Hey. You're obviously tired. Come on, we still have a lot of time ahead of us, it'll be better for you to get some sleep..."

Ray's pale cheeks turned a charming shade of pink almost in an instant. Wide-eyed, he stared down at her tiny soft hands clutching onto his boney bruised fingers, even though she couldn't see that ugliness behind the safety of his gloves. But... He couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like for her to touch him without any fabric getting in the way.

No, no, no, he shouldn't think of such inappropriate things when she's right in front of him, caring for him with only pure intentions on her mind!

"Ah- Y-yes, I mean, no, it's... It's okay, really!" He stuttered, not making any sense and feeling his head slowly starting to heat up, like an overworked computer. It's pretty ironic how easily flustered he gets from just one single touch, when his thoughts and daydreams can get as far away from innocent as they can get. Though, this tiny pang of shame in his chest helped him regain his composure, finally managing to give his tester a proper response. "No, it's all right, really. Spending time with you is more important."

He chewed on his bottom lip, guiltily admitting his mistake without any way for him to avoid talking about it now. "I rarely manage to organize a break long enough to take a walk with you... Not to mention during the day. I do not want to miss this opportunity. Besides, I know how excited you were for this..."

"Hmm... Then how about you take a short nap right here in the garden or in my room? I'll wake you up later, promise." Lila retorted just as smoothly and gently as before, a patient smile still adorning her soft features. She could be stubborn when it came to those she holds dear... and she was determined on making sure that Ray rests for at least a little while, instead of powering through his sleepiness just to spend time with her. They could come up with a compromise, after all.

"Uh- But..." He seems even more confused and embarrassed by her suggestion, clearly loosing all his former princely composure without even putting up a fight. "Is it really okay for me to do that?"

He didn’t quite understand how he was supposed to sleep right here in the garden, but something told him that his heart just could not take any more of such fantasies today. They... were just fantasies, right? There's no way Lila would... want to be this close to someone like him. Especially once he messed like that because of his own insecurity.

"Of course it's okay... I wouldn't propose anything to you, if I didn't want to do it with you, trust me." Instead of getting mad at him or asking for him to leave, she merely giggled again, slightly tilting her head to the side and making a stray ray of sunlight land right onto her hair in the process. If it weren't obvious to him before that Lila was, in fact, an angel, now he knew it for certain. She was practically glowing as she stood there, her eyes locked solely on him, and nothing else. It took of all his willpower to keep his focus on her quiet voice. "So, what will it be? Are we returning to my room or staying here?"

"Well... I don't know..." His fingers twitched nervously in her grasp. She was asking for him to decide? He felt so weird, being asked to make a decision for himself like that. Won't he just mess things up if he starts acting however he wants to act? But... He didn't want to upset Lila, too. So, anxiously, he responded. "May I... rest here then?"

He did not want to go back, being in the sunlight felt too good to give up. But... He still had no idea how is he supposed to sleep here. Questioning her didn't feel right, though. So, he just went with the flow, hoping that his princess will guide him even when he's so unsure of himself.

"Okay." The young woman, on the other hand, merely nodded to his decision and, after a bit of looking around and careful wandering about the garden, she apparently took notice of a small corner next to the small patch of freshly planted begonias. It was a peaceful little island of sunlight, like a tiny oasis. She knelt down in the lush grass, patting down the fabric of her dress adorning her knees. "Come on, join me, Ray."

Oh God, she was asking him to lay his head on her lap.

Did he understand her right? Or-

"W-what? Here?" He felt like his heart was about to, quite literally, burst out of is chest any minute now. His feet were frozen in place, as all he could do was just stand there and gawk at his tester, unsure if this is just one of his many dreams he mistook for reality. "But-"

Lila's all the same sweet and patient smile already gave him all the answers he needed. Damn it, he got the chance to be so close to her by her own request, and now he is too embarrassed to act on it. Ray could practically hear his other half going crazy from his indecisiveness inside his own head. Shutting his eyes tightly, he took the first step into the unknown.

"O-okay. But, please tell me if you get uncomfortable..." Shakily, he slowly lowered his head into her lap and... It took all of his inner strength not to hide his burning face into his palms as soon as he felt the warmth of her body so, so incredibly close to him. "Is this... okay?"

And, as he cautiously looked up at her, his breath got caught in his throat at the sight. The sun was shining right above Lila's head, creating a sort of halo around her face as she met his fearful gaze with one filled with silent promise of safety.

"It's more than okay, I promise. How about... I hum you a lullaby to help you relax? It's what my... sister used to do whenever I was too anxious to fall asleep."

Ray gulped. "I would love that, princess..."

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #ray choi #saeran choi #ray x cmc #jfthfhgth i hope i'm not too late timezones are weird 😩

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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Just woke up from a dream about having a teaparty in the garden together with Ray and Lila 😭 I feel like this one dream just made all my stress go away in an hour, it was so cozy and relaxing jfgig

Also Ray braided a primrose into her hair and that made me swoon for them SO bad 💞

"I'm terribly sorry that the Savior couldn't join us," Ray was the one who was apologetic. “I’m sure she’ll drop by in the evening to great you to our humble Magenta.”

He felt bad that you had come all this way to be a part of everything and the Savior had to attend to something much more important for the time being. Not that you weren't important, it was more so the fact that what she needed to contend with was a grave matter of the utmost importance for security. He had set up so much so that you would feel not only welcomed, but honored to be there.

You could tell how much work went into making the garden look the way it did.

Nothing had been left untouched... from the tables, to the food, to the tea, and to the decorations that he had painstakingly put out for you. You were flattered that he had spent a long time trying to make things right... and the amount of time he spent in the kitchen was nothing to scoff at. As shameful his voice sounded, you could tell he was at ease having Lila by his side.

“That’s alright,” you smiled, reassuringly. You watched Lila more closely, seeing that she was relieved that Ray’s boss wasn’t in sight. “I’m happy that i get time to spend with you and your assistant. I know you’ve been busy lately... this must be a break for you as well.”

That mention made his wariness disappear and his smile broad. He liked it when people acknowledged that he wasn’t a single person. He liked knowing that he’d been compared to a matching set... only in this situation... only when they used his assistant as his perfect match made in Heaven.

She seemed to ease any of his discomfort simply by being in his line of sight. It was obvious she brought him peace in times of unease. There was a shameful look on his face as he spoke up, though, and you knew he meant that. He was busy himself, working on the careful tresses of his girlfriend's hair between his fingers as if he had learned how to take care of that lifetimes ago and it was like the back of his hand.

“It’s nice to relax,” Lila agreed, though her eyes made yours and she made an attempt to smile, but it seemed a little nervous. Ray claimed her to be the very pinnacle of a party... but you could tell she was more like a wallflower when she was being herself. “I’m always worried that Ray never gets enough of those for himself. There’s always work to be done and not enough time to...”

Her words trailed off as Ray finished his work, his gloved hands coming to rest against her shoulders as he leaned over. You could see the way her face had started to warm up with his proximity. “She always makes sure that I’m taken care of,” he murmured. “I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have the prettiest primrose in the garden at my side.”

She laughed, looking back at him with a sneaky smile, only to kiss his cheek when he least expected it. Ray’s face warmed up and he lost that confident he had only moments prior, sputtering nervously as he turned his back to hide his embarrassment from you. His words were sputtered, nonsensical, and quite a mess! You couldn’t pick apart what he said, but you could tell he was happy she kissed him.

Looking more triumphant, she turned to look back at you. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Whenever he does that... well, I can’t help but kiss him. He never sees it coming.”

You smiled, feeling somewhat happy for the both of them since their moods seemed to sway and swirl against the other, and took a sip from your teacup. “Don’t worry. I’m happy to be here with you both.” You meant that. You were happy to visit them.

#ask #natasha in space #cmc #ray x cmc #ray x lila #drabble #lila lancelot oc #mod kait #they were clearly happy you visited!#sorry that they made you witness their cheesy love

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luxielle · 10 months

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Ray & Lumen ✧･ﾟ: *

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #ray choi #cmc lumen #mystic messenger saeran #saeran x lumen #mysme ray #hi we're in love #& i love this photo 😌#lux does art

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amee-racle-ofmyown · 11 months

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Warning: implied/referenced stalking

‘You’re wonderful. Flawless, even.’

‘Mmm, flawless is pushing it.’

Her blush wasn’t very noticeable, a light pinkish tint on her warm brown skin, barely illuminated in the garden’s dim lighting. But Ray saw everything. Every little detail, every slight reaction; his senses were keenly honed in on every manner of her presence. He had no doubt his face looked a little flushed too but that was alright. After all, why hide it? She already knew how his heart raced for her.

‘Is it?’

‘I’m not as perfect as you think, Ray. No one is.’

‘Well, you are to me.’

‘Ahh…’ she made a flustered sound and covered her face with her hands. Ray smiled, willing her to move them. Show me your face, he thought, and as if hearing his silent plea, she parted her small hands like curtains, peeking up at him through delicate fingers.

‘You know exactly what to say to flatter someone, huh?’

He gave a quiet little chuckle. ‘Oh, I don’t know… I suppose it just comes easily to me when it’s you.’ He took her hands, gently peeling them away from her face and watching how her eyes widened slightly at the gesture. ‘Every moment I spend near you, I just can’t help but be aware of every single thing I like about you. Complimenting you feels like the most natural thing in the world.’

She flushed far more visibly at that. Ray laughed softly once more, his hands gently squeezing hers, preventing her from hiding behind them. Oh, how he delighted in those flaring cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to cup her face and gaze into those eyes, stroking her soft skin with his thumbs and muttering endless sweet praise to see just how red she would go. And he would mean every word.

‘Um, th-thank you… I like you a lot too, Ray. Just- um- you haven’t known me for very long-’

I’ve known you for so much longer than you think… He wouldn’t dare utter such a thought out loud, however. Ray didn’t know how she would take it. She couldn’t know how many months he’d spent watching, waiting. Yearning. Would she be upset if she knew? Scared, even? Of course, he’d only ever done so with good intentions but what if she didn’t like it? What would she think of him? Would she call him a creep? Would she think him crazy if she knew exactly to what lengths he would go to keep her safe and in the palm of his hands? Would she try to run away? No, he couldn’t take that chance. He didn’t even want to even think about it.

‘I’m sure there’ll be all kinds of things you don’t like about me, to be honest. I don’t understand why you already seemed to like me so much so soon after meeting me for the first time...’

The girl’s words made him frown a little. Did she doubt his sincerity? Worse still, was it possible she was suspicious of him…?

She seemed to pick up on his concern, as she brought his hands to her chest and looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a shy but undeniably warm and reassuring smile, before she continued to speak.

‘What I mean is, I want to spend more time together, Ray. I want you to get to know me properly and I really want to know you. If you still like me so much after that… well, then we can keep going from there.’ There was still a faint blush over her features as she smiled up at him. The crinkles beneath her twinkling eyes made him think of the gentle creases and overlapping folds of petals around the stem of a rose.

Ray wasn’t entirely sure he understood what she meant, but she’d said she liked him and that she wanted to spend more time with him, so, that was what mattered most, right?

‘I… like the sound of that. And Princess, I don’t think you could do anything at all to make me dislike you. I would do anything for you, MC.’

#I cringed so hard writing this but I couldn't get the scenario out of my head #this is mirae btw! he still calls her mc at this point bc she hasn't told him her real name (mc is the nickname and username she uses)#obv he does know her name. this is ray we're talking about. but she doesn't know he knows lol #amee writes #mystic messenger #mysme #mysmes #mirae chon oc #my oc #mysme ray #saeran choi #saeran x cmc #saeran x oc #cw implied stalking #cw mentions of stalking

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littleaipom · 2 years

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self-shipping stuff with Saer. turns out I had quite a lot of cute doodles left untouched from this year and last year so I went back and colored them 💜💕

#saeran choi #mystic messenger #mysme #ge searan #saeran x mc #saeran x cmc #ray choi #fanart #cmc #self ship #self insert #mysmes #mm mads #heeheehoohoo i do enjoy these sm they are so soft. special treats for me #mmkart

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jinjinranran · 2 years

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Jinae x Saeran 💗

I hc Saeran as bisexual (bcs I'm projecting lmao). He fell for mc for what kind of person they are and I really doubt their gender would be of much, if any, importance to him.

Also, what I like to think:

He's been through A LOT in his life, so his sexuality was the least of his concerns and he never really stopped to think about it. Only after he was free, maybe he had a conversation with mc about this topic and started to wonder about his identity.

And now in relation to my cmc/storyline - when Jinae told him she's bi and explained her experience, Saeran paused to think for a bit, and then said "hm... you know what? I might feel the same way.

You're the only one I care about though, my love."

...

maybe he's just mc-sexual 🤔😂

(I also very much vibe with pan and demi hcs for him I'm just casting bisexuality on my faves 😂)

Other characters: 💛 💜 🧡 💗 ❤️ 💚 💙 🤍 🤎

Jinae's story under the cut:

💗 Jinae Ahn ♡ she/her ♡ 20/21 yo ♡ bisexual

Jinae for a long time didn't think she could be anything but straight. She had crushes on boys, and had been in a relationship with one, so it didn't even cross her mind then. She did admire other women for their beauty, and in later teens, had girl friends she felt v e r y close to - looking back it was obvious that those were crushes - but she denied every thought that would imply those feelings weren't just platonic (because thinking about kissing your besties is not gay at all, am I right?). Or pushed them away to worry about later. She needed to focus on her dreams of becoming an idol, and her contract didn't allow dating anyway.

Her whole plan of pushing all suspicions away was ruined by one woman she met at 18. She completely swept Jinae off her feet, her voice and touch making her feel dizzy, her smell intoxicating - there was no point in denying any longer, and after many hours of Google searching and analyzing her whole life she realized - accepted - that she's bi.

Sometimes she wondered if all her male crushes were fake and she's actually a lesbian - but this theory was thrown out of the window by a smooth, alluring voice in her phone, introducing himself as a game developer.

She didn't fall for Ray right away. Yes, she thought he's attractive - the most beautiful man she's ever seen, even with those dark eye circles and his magenta coat, a little too big for his a little too thin frame - but Jinae is cautious with her feelings, and doesn't open her heart to just anyone.

Ray was... a fascinating individual for her. Who really was this guy, and why was he so obsessed with her? She'd lie if she said she didn't like the attention she received.

Very soon her mind was occupied with him and only him. Did he eat? Did he sleep? Or had been working all night again? I miss him. I want to hear his voice. I want to see him. Jinae wasn't sure if that's the beginning of love, or if she's just getting obsessed with him as much, or even more than he's with her. But she was certain of one thing - she wants to stay with him, no matter what's going to happen.

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #saeran #saeran x mc #ray #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger ray #mystic messenger cmc #custom mc #original character #headcanon #mystic messenger hc #my art #pili oc #oc: ahn jinae #cmc pride series 🏳️‍🌈#excuse my cringe writing attempt lmao I just have Many Thoughts bcs it's about Saeran afterall 😩

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nix-noe · 2 years

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Mystictober ~ Day 1

Favorite Character // First Date

cute date 🥰🥰🥰

sandwich.

#mm mystictober2022 #mm_mystictober2022 #mysme #mystictober #saeran choi #saeran x cmc #ray mystic messenger #my art #fan art

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currentlyprocrastinating · 2 years

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did another thing (*･▽･*)

it's pretty much just an introspectic version of the more narrative/detailed chapter(s) I wrote for Squirrel & Saeran's story :3

It revolves around their first meeting and lightly touches on some of Squirrel's issues, but this is mostly light-hearted ^^

Warnings: harsh swearing (but like once)

Pairing: Squirrel x Ray

Word Count: 2298

==============================

Safety was always a priority to Squirrel. Her mother taught her all sorts of safety, and her job made it second nature. Anytime a stranger stopped to speak with her, whether it was someone who got a little lost or an employee at a café, she would scan them and deem them not a threat or be wary or leave ASAP just as their first words to her were leaving their lips. In daily life, it wasn't exactly the tool it was on the job, but she had found it proved useful regardless. She had never encountered an entity or hostile force targetting her, but there had been... strange people, and her internalized radar helped her dodge their bullets.

She had learned to trust her gut when it came to people. Too many past occasions had proven that. So, she was cautious. She was a planner, too, although she liked the shake-up of spontaneity when it didn't interfere with important things. But for big projects or traveling? She took her time and made sure to be overprepared, such as extra clothes in her suitcase or a backup catsitter.

Which was why her decision to follow the words of a complete stranger — a man, at that — shocked all of her friends. Especially when she sheepishly added that she had agreed to assist in a confidential, semi-long-term project. ...And, well... she let him send her a pick-up car in order to travel to a secondary location — one she wasn't allowed to know the details on, even when standing inside the building.

Flavors of "Are you insane?!" blew up her phone when she recounted the story the next morning.

Truth be told, she shocked herself, too. But she wasn't too hasty, she told herself. She had returned to her apartment, made new arrangements for a catsitter for two weeks (knowing she could extend that time if necessary), extended her time off work by another week, and packed her large suitcase, good enough for a couple weeks.

A couple weeks, he had said, maybe a month.

And she had slipped into that backseat and put on that blindfold knowing that, if things went south, she could make it out on her own. She was good at that kind of thing, after all.

But she was giving this all a chance. She was trusting her gut with this guy (and his cute voice), and it hadn't failed her before.

The car ride was long and kind of boring. The driver didn't talk, and she didn't try to make conversation. She passed the time with podcasts and (keeping one earbud out — just to be safe).

When they arrived, and her door opened, his voice rang out, clearer than over the phone, filled with a confidence that whispered, I know what I want, and a high level of politeness for someone who spoke informally from the start. He gave his name: Ray, a beautiful name. And he asked to take her hand so she wouldn't hurt herself stepping out of the car.

Feeling a little fuzzy in her chest, she blindly reached her hand out.

Smooth leather-like fabric (oddly-shaped gloves, she concluded) and warm skin. But not a natural warmth, no — a nervous warmth, potentially clammy, yet dry like he had just wiped his palms on his pants.

A small smile graced her lips. If Ray really was nervous, he was doing an excellent job at hiding it.

He held her hand like it was reverent, like it was glass — and still, his grip was firm as he helped her out of the car. He didn't let go when she stood on solid ground, and she struggled, for a moment, to focus on his words. Her heart was beating a little bit faster than she was used to, the back of her neck felt hot and prickly, and her throat was kind of tight.

Squirrel didn't really know what to make of this bodily response, but it was... nice, in a strange way.

Then, he was leading her inside, two others trailing them with her luggage. (She felt bad for bringing so much — a suitcase, a duffel bag, and the small bag she carried everywhere — but she couldn't help being overprepared.)

He asked her to keep the blindfold on due to confidentiality, and she complied without complaint. Neither of them spoke for the first few minutes of their walk. She tried to pick a conversation starter, if only to take her mind off of how perfect his hand felt in hers, but she came up empty each time.

He was the one to break the silence, finally, expressing his gratitude for her cooperation. Just out of curiosity, she asked what he would've done if she refused this offer.

He was silent for a beat or two, and she swore she heard his breath stutter, and maybe that twitch of his finger wasn't exactly coincidental.

But it was fleeting: little ticks that only a mind programmed like hers would think to notice. Besides, Ray's reply was reasonable, Squirrel thought:

"Well... I don't really want to think about it. We could have delayed the release date. Or it could've been a disaster... Nobody knows."

When they reached her room, the other two people dropped off her luggage and departed without a word. The door shut, clicking into place.

It was just her and Ray, now. And her heart hadn't calmed down since the start. She swore it skipped a beat when she heard his subtle, shaky exhale.

His hand slipped from hers, and she found herself missing it (feeling the tingling of the phantom sensation, as if his fingers were still pressed into her skin).

"I'll remove your mask," she heard him say. He slipped behind her, almost dead silent, and his deft fingers were quick to untie the knot. The blindfold left her view, giving her a few moments to take in the room before her. Quite an impressive and spacious room, although rather... pink. But no matter. She wouldn't bite the hand feeding her.

And then Ray stepped into view, the sweetest smile on his radiant face, sweet like ice cream, and his voice, oh, it was just as smooth: "Hi! First time seeing each other face-to-face, isn't it?"

She lost her words. She was gaping — lips parted, eyes wide, and boy, did her face feel hot. And her neck and ears... and her chest and... Her skin buzzed with this warmth, her hands shook with it.

She wasn't sure she'd ever seen someone so... ethereal. Even though he looked a little scrawny and the dark bags under his eyes told her he needed better sleep... Evidently nothing, she thought, could undermine his beauty. His white hair was a bit fluffy — perhaps a bleach job gone awry — yet there was a clear attempt to tame it. Baby pink streaks broke through the white here and there and tipped the ends. His fair face was soft yet defined... a young, baby-ish look to it, despite his slightly hollowed cheeks. He looked her age, for sure, maybe a year or two older.

And his eyes. The way the sunlight gleamed in them, they sparkled like two pure, mint blue gemstones.

He was a head taller than her, too.

He shifted his feet, pushed out a small chuckle, and she snapped to reality, warm with panicked embarrassment.

"Uh— y-you're just, ah, stunning—!"

He looked surprised, geniunely, his cheeks turning pink.

"I- I would, uh, hah, uh, um... H-how do I pursue you first?" Squirrel grinned — nervous, timid, feeling like a complete fool, with her bright red face and her cheesy drop of a line.

Why did I say that? Are we trying to flirt now?? Since when??

His surprise melted away, and he laughed — a gentle, breezy laugh. Her heart did backflips. She found her hand pressing to her chest as if that would settle it.

"Me?" He offered the world another taste of his pure, warm laughter — something the world didn't deserve. He was too good for this world — her mind settled on the thought in a heartbeat. "But I'm not a character in the game!" A chuckle caught on his final word.

She let out a timid giggle, trying not to bash herself too hard for her dumb one-liner. Her eyes darted to Ray's face (it was hard not to be drawn back to his glowing features and addicting smile).

...Addicting? Uh oh.

And she caught the way he was looking at her. She struggled to put her finger on everything happening behind those intense eyes. A hint of triumph, she swore; vague contentment. A twinge of darkness around the edges, washed out by... pure adoration.

Her face grew hot again.

No, no, she was surely reading him wrong.

And yet their eyes clung to each other, and she watched as something new entered his. It was... a feeling within her, more than anything. Like his mind was placing a cage around her, like his thoughts were locked solely onto her. Like he might just reach out, if they kept staring like this, and... touch her face...

It was gone in an instant. She felt whiplashed by his sudden bright smile, his cheery tone (a gentle brand of cheery), the innocent pink on his cheeks: "Anyway, you like my looks, Squirrel? That makes me feel good!"

She felt like she was catching her breath from running a mile straight. Somehow, she didn't lose his words to the whirlwind in her mind. Somehow, she managed decent replies. Somehow, at the very end, when she had mostly recovered (with her racing heart as the exception), she let herself slip up again — this time, without all the nervous stuttering.

He asked if she had any more questions about the game, and it simply... fell off her tongue.

"No, but... really, how do I pursue you, Ray-ssi?"

Another stupid, bashful grin crossed her warming face.

And his gentle, angelic laugh filled the air once more.

"Me? Ah... Though I'm not a character inside the game... I've always dreamed of someone who's a good listener to what I say. My voice is quite small... Most people don't seem to listen very well."

I'll listen to every word you say...

Shhh!!! Stop!

He dropped the topic just like that, finalizing with a few more words about the game, and then he was gone, drifting away like a cool breeze.

Leaving her alone in the middle of an empty room — alone to reflect on her stupidity.

"What the fuck, me?" she hissed, pushing a hand through her hair. Her heart was still beating erratically.

What is this?? What's happening? Why was I such an idiot back there? I never say stuff like that!!

I guess today's a day for firsts.

Gaahhh...

Crush~, whispered a tiny voice in the back of her mind.

Yes, she could easily hear Haeun and the rest of her friends teasing her for that very thing. But there was no way she had a crush on him. She just met him! No amount of good looks or high charisma had affected her like this before, so why would they now? She wasn't easily swayed by strangers like this...!

Is... is he a rifter? Maybe his power is, is charm or something!

But I'd know! That's a high-level power; I can sense those!

You have a crush, girl.

"No, I don't!" she blurted, tugging at her hair. Her heart wouldn't stop; her face was still hot. "He, he— I-I- I ju-just..." She groaned, half-heartedly swung a kick at her suitcase, and paced away. "There's no way... There's no way! He's just, um... um..."

Really cute? Super handsome? Has a lovely voice?

...She gave her head a furious shake. "No, no, that's... There's something wrong with me. That must be it! Why is my heart still beating?!"

Because you need it to live, idiot.

"Like this, I mean! It...!"

She stopped pacing, shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. One, two, three, four... Release... She repeated the cycle a few times, then opened her eyes.

"Okay..." she mumbled. "We're okay."

...Do you remember the way his eyes sparkled? How soft his face looked? Don't you wanna just run your hands through his hair? Poke his cheeks?

He looks unhealthy. Wouldn't it be nice to be the one to help him get healthier?

"Stop, stop, stop," tumbled out as she shook her head. "Don't go there; you barely know the guy!"

The way he looked at me... It was strange but... Wasn't it so nice? And warm? And comfy? Like being wrapped in a blanket, like finding your place. Like being found.

You were found. We were found. Didn't he say that? He'd been waiting for me...

She snapped out of it with another shake of her head. "No, no, that look was... familiar."

Very. Don't you think?

Look in the mirror sometimes, and then you'll find it.

She grew quiet.

There was no way... Was there?

Her heart was beating the same way. Her mental capture of him floated around the back of her mind.

And she remembered those eyes. That triumph. That darkness. That adoration. That last one — like he was locking her down.

It... did feel kind of warm...

We could... lock...

She shooed away the thought before it could fully form, then shook away the rest with an airy laugh. "Nah, I'm just overthinking all this," she told herself, told the air, told the world. "It's just... He's really attractive, that's all. I was caught off guard, that's all!"

She scoffed lightheartedly, flipping her phone in her clammy hand.

"A crush. Please. Me? An immediate crush? Me? That's not gonna happen." She shook her head in mild amusement at her little freak-out, shoved away all those concerns, and focused on her phone to start the game.

The game that he chose her to test.

She would give it her all.

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rin-the-cat · 7 months

Text

I was going to edit and add this rant to my previous post but it got so long I decided to give it its own post.

I don't understand how Doctors get a way writing up their notes like they do. At the vet clinic where I work, if a doctor doesn't examine something on an animal they put in the record that they did not examine it, but this never seems to be what human doctors do. Lets use my recent visit to a Rheumatologist. I will begin by prefacing that, in this case, I did not come away from the visit feeling like he had done a poor job. He did an exam that I felt was adequate for the situation and he asked all the right questions. However, the notes that he put into my legal medical record do not reflect the exam that he actually did.

Warning: very long rant ahead.

TLDR: Doctors lie in legal medical records all the time and sometimes it can have major consequences, but apparently not for the doctor or they wouldn't keep doing it.

ENT examined for oral mucositis, moisture, thrush, nasal deformity, external ear redness, deformity.

He did not look into my mouth and I don't think he was sitting close enough to me to get a good look from me just talking.

Abdomen examined for softness, tenderness, obvious organomegaly.

He never touched my abdomen

Neurological examination done for alertness, speech, facial symmetry, tone and power in upper and lower extremities, and gait.

He never checked tone or power in my lower extremities. I'm not sure that he examined the tone or power of my upper extremities now that I think of it. The only opportunity he had to see my gait was the two steps it took for me to get to the table, and I was very obviously limping.

The joint examination is performed for swelling, tenderness, warmth, erythema, and range of motion in the following joints: DIPs, PIPs, MCPs, wrists, first CMC's, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, feet; spine for range of motion and paraspinal muscles for tenderness.

He did feel the joints in my hands (the reason why I was there.) but he didn't check range of motion on any joints or feel anything in my lower extremities.

The salient normal / abnormal findings are appended.

I suppose this line is supposed to excuse the fact that everything above it was a copy/pasted generic normal exam findings...

She is tender in the PIPs especially ring middle and index fingers, she does not have definite synovitis in any of the palpable joints. She does not have dactylitis. There is no nail pitting or onycholysis. She does not have a rash on her face there is no sclerodactyly periungual erythema. She has minimal if any tenderness across trapezius along the paraspinal regions. She did not have any significant tenderness in the trochanteric areas

This is the exam that he actually did in its entirety. Why type this out and include the copy-pasted bit that reports normal exam findings for things you didn't examine? What if you put this in my medical record today and tomorrow I ended up in the ER with a giant abdominal tumor that you somehow missed when you supposedly palpated my abdomen. It seems like you could/should get in serious trouble if something like that happened.

And that is basically what happened to my mom. She went in for pain in her back, over her ribs. The doctor didn't touch her except to "hit" the spot that hurt (her words, not mine. I do know that the spot that was hurting was so tender that a tap could have felt like he smacked her.) He declared that she had a broken rib, sent her to x-ray then sent her home. However the exam notes he put in her record read just like the ones above. The next day the pain was so bad she ended up in the ER where it was discovered that she had stage 4 lymphoma. It would not have been possible to do the exam that his notes claimed that he did and not realize that there was something more than a broken rib going on. This is a pet scan of her upper body. For those unfamilure with looking at CT scans or PET scans. the gray area at the top is her brain, the scan goes down to her mid-waist, and her arms are held up above her head. All of those bright white blobs are enlarged, involved lymph nodes.

On a normal person, you would only feel one node on each side of the neck and one node in each armpit area There are more there, but they would normally they would be too small to really feel. You can see on this scan that if he had palpated her neck, he would have felt numerous lumps. If he had felt her armpit (which you might not normally do, but if there were a bunch of enlarged nodes in the neck, you would probably feel the armpits next), he would have felt many lumps there too. If he had done the thorough exam that his medical exam notes claimed he did, he would not have though this was a simple broken rib.

Now would it have made a difference if it had been caught 24 hours sooner? Absolutely not, but that's not the point. The point is that Doctors lie in their patients medical records every day. Lying in a legal medical records is grounds for losing your license so why is lying and saying you examined something that you did examine given a pass? Why would doctors take the risk of doing multiple times a day, every day?

I like the way our medical records software is set up at the vet clinic where I work. There is a check list of all the systems that are typically examined. If a Doctor examines a system and it's normal they check a box but don't enter any notes. If something is abnormal they check the box and put in their notes in the text box next to the chart. If they don't examine a system (say there's an aggressive dog in for a routine exam, they might skip looking in the mouth.) then they don't check the box. When they are done it auto-populates the exam findings and for any system not examined it lists it as not examined. And that's now it should be, if a doctor doesn't examine something, they shouldn't be reporting normal findings. And here's the thing, the doctors that I work with actually do do a thorough exam, nearly every time. Doesn't matter if the dog is in for a well check or because they are sick, they look in the ears, eyes, mouth. they feel all the lymph nodes. They check range of motion on all four limbs. They feel the spine and check for neurological deficits. They listen to the chest. They palpate the abdomen. And that last one is a big one because dogs tend to get these primary splenetic tumors that are totally asymptomatic until one day it ruptures and the dog bleeds out. There have been many times where these tumors were discovered at an annual well check and the spleen could be removed while the dog was healthy instead of it being an emergency surgery on a critically ill dog. And the vet does all this so quickly and with a practiced ease that you might not even notice them doing it.

I think part of the reason that this is standard practice at any (decent) vet practice is because animals can't tell us where it hurts or how they are feeling, and I suppose human doctors assume we will be able to tell them if something is wrong. But here's the thing, that's not always true. Someone might have had a problem their whole life and assume that it's a normal thing. I tend to clam up at the doctor and forget what I wanted to say (It's really annoying, take the rheumatology visit for an example. My hands have been a major problem for me lately, the pain interferes to some degree with nearly every daily task that requires dexterity, but once I'm sitting in the office I sound more like, "My fingers hurt a little I guess... I don't know, I guess when I open jars 'n stuff" and mean while the doctor is probably thinking, "wtf is she doing here?" and I know the solution to this should be to write a list but when I try to do that my mind goes blank. My mostly nonverbal autistic 7 year old certainly isn't going to be able to tell the doctor what the problem is. I can't even get him to point to where it hurts when he hurts himself, i just have to wait and see where the bruise pops up.

#medical trauma #fibromyalgia #chronic illness #cancer #lymphoma #tw: cancer #tw: medical trauma #Doctors #medical records #chronic pain

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