#real life rambling

[universallongings]

Finally started my Zoloft prescription yesterday (12.5 mg for a week to 10 days, then up to 25 mg to see how it goes), and this is the first time in actual months (like since I had COVID in late March) that my body has actually told me it wanted food for breakfast, a snack, and lunch. I honestly don’t care if it’s a placebo effect situation (it probably is), but I am so thrilled right now. 

#i know it takes forever for these things to work #i know it might make me sick to my stomach at some point (or not!) #i know i still need to work on the whole sleeping thing bc i have been awake since 2 am #but eating has been my biggest problem for the last two months #it was the reason i finally asked for meds #i just couldn't do it and would get such anxiety about it #so to even have one day of slightly normal hunger cues #WHAT IS THIS???? #mental health #real life rambling

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

#not whump #more real life ramblings let’s gooooo #EDIT genuinely why is THIS the post that took off #I have muted notifications for this thing mate I didn’t even double check my spelling #and you fuckers ran with it #good for you but also why

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[ventique18]

If you give king 🐉 access to any social media he'd always be trending bc whenever some random news account posts any article about you he'd immediately comment "That is the most gorgeous person I've seen in my life." and it'll get a million likes and shares because he's so cringe it's cute.

And when those Top 10 most beautiful people in the world lists come up he'd say "Why is 🌸 not in here? The list must be incomplete." that would land him in the Top 10 most desirable husbands in the world because of how insanely lovestruck and supportive he is.

#i want to finish a comic but real life stuff fucks me up every other minute #have some malleus brainrot for now like always #twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

[ethosiab]

as much as i really understand why etho wasn't in real life i really do wish he was just so i'd be able to see him fumble with vr controls . your sideways mouse and tissue box mic can't save you now boy because your hotbar is on your arm and you have to do actual breaststroke motions irl to swim

#life series spoilers #nics rambles #ethoslab #life series #whatst he tag for it??? #“etho wasnt in real life” is a very funny phrase now that i think about it #rlsmp #real life smp

[foldingfittedsheets]

I had this friend I was living with when I was getting my associates degree in my early twenties. Wait, hang on. So the first thing I need to convey about that time in my life is that I was as full of anxiety as it was possible to be.

I was working, taking classes, and living on my own for the first time. I was drowning. I was a bubbling kettle of stress and responsibilities all waiting to boil over at any moment. Bodies are fickle things. They all react to stress very differently. My body decided that the best possible way to deal with stress was to puke about it.

This was extremely unwelcome not just because throwing up is a violently uncomfortable experience but also because I struggled most of my life to maintain a healthy weight. I’d eat enormous portions but even when my food stayed down I burned through calories like a hummingbird. I tended to hover right around a hundred pounds, desperately trying to gain weight.

My friends were all aware of my struggles. They’d keep granola bars on them for when I suddenly got so hungry I was sick and made me calorie dense meals. They knew the face I made when I realized I was going to be sick and usually had water and back rubs for me afterward.

So that’s where I was. Throwing up generally at least once a week, working and school full time. I was living with three friends. Let’s call them K, D, and E. K and I had been friends since middle school and she and I shared a bedroom with our own bathroom. The boys D and E shared a room, and had the public bathroom.

The last thing you need to know is that D was a sex addict. He was always horny, masturbated several times a day, and made no secret of his proclivities. It was a running joke within the friend group. (As an aside he once had his car broken into while transporting his duffel bag of sex toys to and from a liaison, and the thief ignored everything else in the car to take the toys. It was probably over a thousand dollars of used sex toys but the thief still wanted it more than his iPod)

One night I was doing homework and dinner was sitting poorly. I hadn’t fully developed my brain yet to make a connection between my paper was stressing me out to the fact that I suddenly felt really sick. But to my dismay K was in our bathroom.

So I jumped up, frantically ill, and ran across the living room to the boys toilet to barf.

The walls were thin.

Within a few minutes D came in with a cold wash cloth. He put it on my neck and rubbed my back. He’d brought a glass of water for me, too, which was all very lovely.

When I was done we sat in the miserable aftermath of this latest episode in stomach violence. He finally broke the silence to comment, “I’ve never lost an erection as fast as I did hearing you start puking.”

#ramblies #ffs foibles #funny #I stopped puking shortly after meeting my beloved actually #I had started eating better on my own but they have a lovely calming presence and things improved a lot for me when we started dating #writing #story #real life #cw vomit

[lemon-bread-slice]

guys is this anything- i had a vision

does anyone even remember this meme? it lived in my head rent free in middle school

#trafficblr #traffic life #life series #real life smp #life series memes #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #zombiecleo #pearlescentmoon #scott smajor #smajor1995 #i'm losing it i think #i'm sick i can't be held responsible #lemon rambles

[screwpinecaprice]

Just a silly guy, with silly silly thoughts.

@glowweek Day 2

Casual | Surprise

A casual surprise?😬😬😬

#Hooooo boiii this lad is about to get funky. #He was internally screaming the whole time. #It's in my core memory as a connverse fan. I'm never truly going to let this up I believe. haha #Our boy really one day went out there wanting to get married as a teen like a true classic Disney princess. 😭 #It was honestly endearing but sad and also pretty embarrassing. 😔 #Secondhand embarrassment aside. Steven is pretty much lucky in the romance department. Which. Deserved by the way. With all the other #crap he had to deal with. #connverse #Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #SU #my shiz #comic #SU comic #glowweek #connverse week #I have no idea if whatever Connie is spouting are actuallt true in real life. Good thing this can be chalked off as just a thing in their #fictional world. #Also I'm glad part of that was covered by Connie's body because I had to take a few notes from chat GPT to add in her enumerated rambling. #I had to make the glow bracelet float like that because I couldn't draw his hand holding it quiet right in that angle. #And yea that size difference is no error. That's how small Connie's wrist is compared to his hands. Or at least something like that. #teal

[powdermelonkeg]

Thoughts on the thunder wizard again.

Genuinely, I find Gale's relationship with Mystra to be fascinating when you consider all its facets. Unhealthy, imbalanced, definitely poisonous, but also very, very intricate with a lot of blurred edges to it. One of those things where you're both like "wow, what the hell, that's horrible" but also "that makes perfect sense for their characters, and while I would NEVER, I know why they would, and why it happened."

You've got a wizard who doesn't know what real love is, who thinks he's finally being shown it by the person he adores most. His greatest fantasy, his most potent joy, his most heartfelt aspirations, and they were all offered to him.

And he wants to see what all she's hiding from him, because of course he does. She's the keeper of all things forbidden to him. The empire of Netheril reached magical heights that will never be touched again, and all that knowledge is beyond her curtain. She loves him, right? Surely, if he proves himself enough, she'll let him grasp that power he so desperately wants.

And not even in the power-hungry sense! All that magic Mystra's locked up was accessible during Mystryl's reign. Think of all the answers to theories about the universe that are back there. Every question of "can this be done, and what would it do" would be answered, if he could just bargain hard enough.

She loves him, right?

Surely, if he proves himself enough...

And then, on the other hand, Mystra. Once Midnight, her human personality has been subsumed by the goddess of magic and her duty to the Weave. She has a responsibility to magic, she IS magic.

Then along comes this mortal boy who knows how to handle her Weave. Who doesn't try to wrestle with and dominate, who sings to it. He handles it with such ease and grace—it's not just that he could be Chosen, but he deserves it. To put her Weave in the hands of someone so intrinsically in tune with it, who understands its potential with a wonder like no other. Few enough can handle the raw power that comes with being Chosen, but this one? This one is perfect.

And he adores you. And you adore him, like one would a beautiful butterfly that's landed on their finger. And he's willing to be devoted to you in all things, not out of transaction like most of your worshipers are, but out of love for you, your craft, your magic. You're so deeply and utterly charmed by him.

And it's not like Mystra hasn't walked this path before.

She gives him what he desires, because what he desires is her. And, in a different way, she desires him. She wants him to be her representation in the world. She indulges his adoration with her own presence, and takes indulgence herself in mortal comforts. He's never satisfied with her answers, but who could blame him? She keeps a whole world away from mortals, because she knows what such unfettered power might bring about (again).

And the wizarding prodigy's ambition is lit (again).

And the height of power is reached for (again).

And she stops him (again, again, again).

She does care for him. She doesn't want to see her little butterfly burn himself, and she doesn't want to be the one to ruin those wings.

But then he's not a butterfly. He's a mortal, wielding a weapon of murder, of her murder, and he's brought it to her doorstep because she told him "no." And he's cut himself on it, he doesn't know what it is, but it's hurt him—and it's only a fraction of the hurt it could do to her. How dare he want her help after threatening her?

(He didn't mean to.)

(He only wanted to help.)

(He only wanted. How human.)

She doesn't help him. If he wants to pursue Karsus' weaponry, it's his responsibility, his hubris, that led him to injuring himself on it. She's furious. She's hurt. She's cold.

(What fools these mortals be.)

But then, there's a greater threat to her. Something that could drown the Material in Karsus' failings. And that little boy, who nicked himself on the sword he lifted, still wants her help.

It's a fair trade, isn't it? She'll forgive him, let him into her domain again, if he accepts his punishment and goes into battle for her. He picked up a sword, it's appropriate that he learns to use it in her name, right?

If he was telling the truth, he wouldn't hesitate. If he really wanted to serve her with the Netherese Orb, he would jump at the opportunity to do so. He would have to give up a few petty things in the process, ("petty," she calls mortality, as if family and home mean nothing, as if friends and love are finite. Because to her, they do mean nothing. Because to her, they are finite.) but it isn’t atonement without sacrifice, is it?

It's the tactical move. She's not above hurting one man to save a nation. It's not even the first time she's done it.

(Dornal Silverhand sends his regards.)

If he loves her, he'd die for her, because she'd let him into her paradise. If he doesn't love her, he won't, and she was justified in removing him from her grace.

He doesn't love her. Not anymore.

Does he hate her enough to try to take his dues?

Ambition has always been man's greatest folly.

#bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #mystra #listen. go watch steven universe where rose says 'i'm not a real person' #pay attention to how rose laughs at greg and how funny and sweet humans are #that's how i think mystra sees her chosen #but she lacks rose's willingness to change and dip into mortal life #gale is cute. gale is precious. gale is wonderful. but gale is amusing. #and he's not equal to a god. certainly not the goddess of magic. and his attempts to insist that he is are only met with a pat on the head #long post #oops i turned a ramble into poetry again. i swear it's not intentional #the parentheses got me :/

[anna-scribbles]

MY BEST FRIEND MADE ME A COPY OF CALL IT EVEN FOR MY BIRTHDAY😭😭😭

#it’s so insane i feel so crazy about it #shout out to whoever made the reviews list on the back😭😭😭😭 #i can’t believe she did this i can’t believe this is real #WHAT #call it even #anna rambles #ml #the foreword is also the cutest thing ever of my life. #oh i love you kate i love you forever #ITS SO PRETTY I CANT BELIEVE IT

[unlikecharlie]

now would be the most hilarious time for some ao3 author to write their otp being stuck in the submarine

#titanic #the titanic #oceangate #fanfiction #rambling #of all the times to write fanfic involving real life events now is the perfect opportunity #i wanna see naruto confessing his love to sasuke as their oxygen runs out #harry styles huddling for warmth with louis while they watch the remains of the titanic through the tiny ass window

[rassebers]

Pull yourself TOGETHER man

#panel one that's ritsu and serizawa assisting mob. just btw #who is mob marrying? well... who knows ... #for real though expanding on post canon is so real to ME #because of mob psychos central idea of growing up and getting older and life moving on #like it makes my heart warm to know these kids will GROW UP and GET JOBS and MEET PEOPLE IMPORTANT TO TJEM #and maybe even get married !... #i do think Reigen doesnt often think abt how far they've all come until some sort of big milestone #like a wedding or someone buys a house or graduates from school and etc #and then he's like damn.... ive really known him since he was a lil kid. and here we are now #excuse my rambling im just so sick and crazy and it makes my heart warm #mp100 #my rart #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #mob psycho 100 #ritsu kageyama #serizawa katsuya #their network of psychics and friends all chip in to help at the wedding

[ezraphobicsoup]

i am full of whimsy and autism and fear

#ezra’s real life rambles #hang on i’ll find the better version of this

[dayzsaclark]

I’m excited for the new Inside Out sequel, but I hope they don’t accidentally do this for Anxiety.

#inside out #inside out 2 #inside out anxiety #real life mental disorders aren’t ““cute”” #too many shows and movies do this sh@t #Anxiety’s design is adorable though that’s why I’m rambling

[ghosts-and-glory]

Out of curiosity, do you like when people headcanon Narinder to be a black panther? I think its pretty cool :>

FINE YOU WANT MY WIP HAVE MY WIP But you only get a peek cause I wanna finish it first.

Little sketch of Runningwithscizzorz panther design cause I love. Nobody tell them cause I still gotta finish it.

Honestly love the wild cat interpretations of him or even any distinct domestic cat breed. I considered designing him off a lynx because of his big ass pointy ears but instead went with a sleek, domestic black cat look. My game theory is that he’s likely based on ancient Egyptian illustrations of cats which would most likely make him a Egyptian wild cat or jungle cat, possibly with melanism causing his all black look.

#my post #I have extensive thoughts on the real life inspirations behind the bishops #I almost went into a big ramble about Anubis #and the references in game to Lemegeton Clavicula Salomonis #but I need to be normal #I will be so so normal #ask