#repotting them so they actually have room to grow

[nagweon]

si-u rescuing sad, dying plants from grocery stores in a way similar to how some people will rescue neglected small animals from pet stores

#nursing them back to health if he can #repotting them so they actually have room to grow #just taking care of them in the way they were meant to be cared for since no one else is going to do it #actually he'd probably do the same for animals if he felt like he was equipped to do so but #as things stand he has an easier time with plants because he can feel out the problems more reliably than with animals #( si u ) / * headcanon . #the only thing he'll ever even shoplift are poor uncared for plants

[thefreakandthehair]

The plants are Eddie's idea.

Each and every one of them is rescued or adopted in some way: salvaged from a home that hadn't cared for it, up for grabs on the side of the road, forgotten in the corners of Home Depot, leftovers from wedding centerpieces that surely are going to be tossed after the reception ends. Eddie knows what it feels like to be forgotten, left out, neglected, and just because plants don't have a voice stand on lunch tables and air their frustrations with broken systems, that doesn't mean they don't feel. So yes, Eddie loves his plants, loves them with almost the same intensity that he loves their cat, Bruce.

At first, Steve just nods and shrugs and gives Eddie that fond smile that says I don't get it but you're happy so I'm happy. The same smile Steve wears when Eddie rambles on about Dungeons and Dragons, about the intricacies of being both a Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne fan, about why Mothman and Bigfoot and mermaids absolutely exist, Steve! It's endearing and warm, and Eddie loves him so goddamn much. Even more than Bruce, even more than the plants.

What Eddie doesn't expect, though, is for Steve to grow to love the plants, too. In true Steve fashion, he brushes it off when he pinches dead leaves from the Pothos, or when he smiles as he sprays the Boston fern. Eddie knows that, bare minimum, Steve cares about their plant babies and so when he ends up going on a week-long tour with Corroded Coffin, he doesn't worry too much about the little green souls that litter their apartment.

A week is a long time, and Eddie misses home so much that he doesn't announce himself as he barrels through the front door the following Saturday afternoon.

"Yeah, see? You’re doing great."

Eddie freezes in his tracks. Who the fuck is Steve talking to with that whispered voice? The one that, up until now, Eddie presumed was for him and him only. He knows he'd never cheat, but seriously, who's in their apartment?

"Atta girl, look at you! See, I told you, we'd figure this out."

He sets his bags down as quietly as he can, toes off his boots, and slowly pads along the beige carpet to peak around the corner to their living room.

Oh.

Steve's talking to their plants.

Eddie leans against the doorframe and watches as Steve smiles, wide and bright enough to replace the sun shining in through the streaky bay window, while moving from plant to plant, pot to pot, singing their praises and lavishing them with compliments and affirmation.

"You're growing so well!"

"See? I watered you and you popped right back up. You don't have to be dramatic about it."

"When your other dad gets home, we’ve gotta talk about repotting you. You're definitely outgrowing this pot."

Eddie clears his throat and Steve whirls around with a wild look in his eye that reminds him so much of the time he caught Dustin snooping in his campaign materials that he briefly wonders if Dustin and Steve actually are biologically related.

“Oh honey, I’m home!” Eddie singsongs and grins as he shoves away from the door jam, walking over to Steve who’s already rolling his eyes and groaning.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to feel a little jealous of the Boston fern over here.” Eddie gestures towards the large fern spilling over the sides of its planter. “You never tell me I’m growing so well.”

Steve sets down the watering bottle and pulls Eddie in closer, both arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Eddie melts, letting himself be held and loved. A week really is a long time.

“No, but I do tell you when you’re being dramatic,” he teases, pressing a soft kiss against Eddie’s lips that’s more the touch of smiles than of mouths.

Eddie pulls back just enough to catch Steve’s gaze, warm and comforting. “You do realize that I’ll never let this go, right?”

Never. Always. Forever.

Eddie was never one for absolute language, except when it comes to Steve. He’ll never let him live this down, because he’ll always be here. Forever.

Steve laughs, shaking his head. “I’d sure hope not.”

#steddie #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #myfic #myblurbs #honestly my anxiety spiked at random so i spent a lot of time today tending my plant babies #and idk but then this happened! #plant dad eddie munson #plant dad steve harrington #steve is like the dad that didn't want the cat and then is the cat's best friend

[honeyhobies]

checking out miles42's room and oh, his lil hanging plant near the window.....

imagining the wealth of funeral flowers the morales family gets after his dad's death. miles can't stand them, he hates that they're the only pastels in the apartment and their scent churns his stomach.

worst though are the house plants they're gifted. intended to be low maintenance, great distractions, some bit of pretty life among all the grief. rio tries to take care of them at first; she likes the look of their painted pots and setting a watering schedule is easy enough. routines are good, and the greenery does make her smile when she leaves her bedroom alone in the mornings. but then she needs to take on more hours at work, and eventually they blend into the background of the apartment, forgotten.

miles refuses to do anything with them.

when their leaves turn yellow he plucks them off so he doesn't have to clean them off the floor later. when nothing is left but withered brown twigs he takes the pot out onto the fire escape just so he can hear the terracotta shatter when he drops it into the dumpster below. the plants start disappearing one by one, and the apartment slowly returns to what it was before—or at least, a poor imitation of it, where there were no greens of various plant life scattered about but a home still filled to the brim with his dad's life. miles starts climbing the fire escape higher, pretends that the shatters from this height are louder than the grief in his own heart.

it takes him four months of mami overworking herself to realize that there's a pot of ivy that still has green leaves.

it was shoved into the corner of the kitchen window that would've been a hazardous spot if his mom was actually using the kitchenware in the cupboard next to it. but she's barely been able to cook lately and miles definitely doesn't have the kind of skills to use what's in there, so the plant was left alone, miraculously thriving on the sunshine streaming through the window. miles only notices it because his abuela is visiting and he accidentally steps on a few leaves on a vine that's grown long enough to brush the ground when he's ushered out of her way during dinner prep.

his appetite vanishes. the phantom scent of sweet decaying lilies and carnations and all the other ugly pastel flowers chokes his throat. he thought he had finally be rid of all of them, and seeing this one still left standing rears something ugly in his chest.

it's his abuela who coaxes him away from grinding his foot into the leaves, smashing them into the tile, she who says that starving something of love will always be a terrible thing to know. all four burners on their stove are going, the oven has just finished preheating, but she takes the time to fill a cup with water, gives it to him, and compliments him on keeping this small thing alive, when funeral flowers are notorious for not surviving.

it's miles who quietly moves the plant into his room that night, and he learns the rights and wrongs about repotting, sunlight, and watering.

(and, at one point, pests. but he also learns how to overcome that, even if it was an insanely annoying experience turned inside joke with ganke)

the ivy had fared well enough on its own, but it's miles who makes it happy. his hands that make it grow thicker and longer and livelier, until he needs to start tacking its vines up along the window sills to spread its greenery around. this one tiny thing no longer tiny that depends on him, that has learned he will be good to it. he did that.

miles did that.

—

later, when designing his first prowler suit, the purple accents are for his mom, a subtle nod to her favorite color. because he's trying to bring good back into his community, stepping up to do whatever he can to forcibly relinquish some of the sinister six's control over his city, but he's also fighting for her.

and the green details—there's not as many, or as prominent as all the neon purple, but he feels they're just as important to add.

#i have. Emotions over the kid we saw for like two minutes max in this movie fldknlgknx #miles morales #miles 42 #prowler miles #<- what tags do we use for him jfc lol #clawcode #<- listen it's only implied but hear me out: clawcode in everything #and i personally think it'd be v funny for miles to have what he considers a catastrophic experience of Bugs In His Room #that ganke would treat as a “was the grink there” type of situation lmaoo #fringeposts #spiderverse #atsv

[stormcrow513]

Hagging Out: March 2023 - Spring Equinox

@graveyarddirt

So my workings in March tend to start at the beginning of the month, at the eighth my birthday, I'm not a huge fan of my birthday, but I already wrote a whole ass rant about it around my actual birthday so I'm not gonna unpack all of that here,

Was neat having the full moon fall on the day before,

Just sence it's a source of anxiety I've been trying to turn it into a source of power instead,

This year that entailed me doing a thorough cleansing of my self, I was at the tail end of being sick so I did some cleaning of my room as well but only as much as I could manage,

I scraped any icky shit off, I cut my hair from shoulder to above my chin, took a cleansing shower, I called up the elements in a circle, called in what I want in my space, filling up the empty spaces left behind in the cleansing,

I tucked away the cut hair in a napkin, I knew I'd want to do something with it, though at the time I wasn't sure exactly what that was yet,

March is kinda a weird time, at the end of it is the Spring Equinox there's a soft toward bright a shiny and green in stores ect. yet it is very much still the tale end of winter, here where I'm born and raised we've always called it The Snowiest Month Of The Year, and yes it deserves to be capitalized, I myself born at the beginning of the month before we start calling it spring, was born in a from repots pretty fucking bad blizzard, like people probably died blizzard, so it's hard to fully get my mind toward Spring, hell recently woke to this

All righty on to the Equinox itself,

So the new moon hit the day after, but it was going to reach new during the day, so when it does that I do my work for Hekate's the day before, so I had the lovely pleasure of doing both the Spring Equinox AND Hekate's night the same day, and I woke up feeling horrible so the day was off to a super start,

I started doing offerings to the Horae (the Season) and the amenoi (the winds) em fall of 2021 I think? On the Equinoxes and the Solstices thanking them, and asking for blessings for the season ahead, it's made a real difference

I give offerings of water and smoke, tobacco, oats, and coco powder, this time I realized we were out of oats I dug around and found the bag of quinoa that ma had bought back when we moved here five years ago when everyone was recommending it, we tried it hated it, forgot we had it opps, I figured well hell at least I'm putting it back into the earth so I used it,

I also before doing this, I've been doing Jason Millers spirit feast (from the new book, guys a shit head but I've picked up some helpful things, this being one) outside everyday the last couple weeks (before I was doing it once a week, there's been a noticeable difference since I've done it everyday) I set that up and left the myrrh burning while I went and did the above, mighta shoulda put this part first oppsie

I dumped out my Kathos jar into the garden,

I took that hair along with the ashes of some old petitions and laid them at the corner/crossroads of my property,

We all are sacrificing here and now for a better tomorrow, so this was a tangible sacrifice of my past, the effort I've been putting in to become a better Witch a better person, I gifted these to Hekate asking Her help to continue to grow to help me keep my feet on the path that will take me to the future I'm so desperately trying to build,

I washed my bedding, cleaned my room, my altars, then waited for night,

I left my dogs out at 9:30pm feed them and the cats, then I let the dogs out at 11:00pm one last time til morning,

So since I use the corner of my property as crossroads a corner on the visible to where I let my dogs out at, and since you're not supposed to look back after you leave Her offerings I wait till after eleven to leave my offerings,

After the dogs are tucked safe and snug, I close the blinds, I set her offerings in my basket, I made up the Kershnips, prayed, showered/cleansed, slipped into my clean ritual dress and Hekate pendant and began ricting her hymn as I walked to the corner, said my standards prayers left out Her offerings (including a handful of dog food for Her hounds) and made my way back inside no looking back,

After I got inside, I called a circle in my room, said a prayer over Her altar passed her statue through frankincense as well as my pendant I applied

@prairiefirewitch s mugwort ointment I received earlier this month

Then I called Hekate into myself, meditated with Her presence, after releasing I did some other work before releasing the circle

And that's that

#hagging out #hagging out 2023 #hagging out March 2023 #hagging out spring equinox #hagging out spring equinox 2023

[kiseiakhun]

Hi there! I just ran across your orchid post, and I thought I’d reach out with a long shot. Do you happen to know anything about keeping African violets? I am trying so hard but my little baby just seems to get unhappier as the years go on :( If you aren’t sure no worries, just thought I’d try! Thank you!!!

African violets are so pretty buuut I never bothered to keep one because of how finicky they are ): they actually like to be fussed over and pampered and I know I won't remember to water them on time.

In general, when it comes to plants with Nonspecific General Malaise, the first thing you want to do is check the roots. Wait for the soil to dry and gently shake the plant out of its pot and inspect its roots. You can rinse the dirt off under the tap if it'll make it easier. Look for areas of rot or areas where the roots have died off - die off in the roots is normal, like shedding leaves, but removing the dead roots gives the alive roots more room to grow. And removing areas of rot are specially important, because if you let it fester it could take over the whole plant and eventually kill it. If the roots have taken on the shape of the pot, your plant is root bound and needs to be moved to a bigger pot. Ideally, you'll want to repot it with new soil, if it's been more than a year since the last time you repotted. The old soil would be depleted of nutrients; the nutrient thing is actually why a lot of people recommend repotting once every one or two years, even if your plants don't need a bigger pot.

If you've done all that and your plant still looks bedraggled, try feeding it. It might need more fertilizer. Maybe the specific soil mix you're using doesn't have the right balance of nutrients. Okay from doing some quick research, African violets come from cloud forests in Africa, which are a really unique environment! In cloud forests, it never rains, but they maintain a high ambient humidity from clouds because they all grow high in the mountains. So it might be your watering technique - African violets need less water, more frequently. AND, they're so sensitive to changes in temperature that if you spill water on a leaf, that could be enough for the leaf to wilt. Wow. So this is why they have a reputation for being difficult.

Try watering from the bottom! Instead of pouring water on top of the soil , put the pot on a plate and pour water on the plate and let the soil absorb the water through the drainage holes on the bottom. That way, you won't get water on the leaves. If I had to guess, this is probably the reason why your plants look shabby. Big temperature and humidity shifts can also make them freak out so if your African violets are kept in a drafty area of the house, try moving them somewhere with less airflow

#asks #anon #plants #apologies if this is incoherent. it is 2 in the morning and i am Tired

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Garden, Yet Again

It’s been a really rough week but I got through it, and now it’s time for GARDEN PHOTOS!

Black-eyed Susans, asters, and cornflower. No blossoms yet, but they’re doing remarkably well. Also some photo-bombing marigold leaves.

Thriving marigolds and somewhat struggling zinnias. It’s mostly because we had some serious wind last week and the zinnias didn’t like it much. I put little tags there to keep the poor things from uprooting, as you can see. They’re holding on regardless, at least. I will keep pampering them, and if they still seem to struggle, I’ll swap them for the daisies or petunias and keep them inside. (The marigolds are fine; running absolutely riot.)

So this is my parsley. The tallest of these (not pictured because TOO MUCH PARSLEY) comes up to my waist, just about. I’ve hit up my Facebook friends to see if anyone wants some parsley because it needs cutting back in a significant way and I don’t want to waste it. Hell, I’m considering slipping notes into the neighbours’ post boxes at this point.

Sage and rosemary, still doing wonderous well. There should be a roast chicken for them at some point. (Also on the far right, photo-bombing oregano.)

Oregano and thyme. Some of those oregano leaves are the size of two-penny pieces, I swear. The oregano, thyme and mint have taught me a whole lot about plants that you should just cut back in winter and leave alone, and see how they thrive come spring.

Mint, coriander / cilantro, and my two dill plants. I’ll be cutting back the coriander a bit because I need the leaves for my next planned curry dinner, and we’ll see how it thrives after that. The mint will be getting the same treatment. As for the dill, well, I have two plants of that now; I didn’t expect the supermarket rescue dill to thrive as much as it has when repotting and I’m not going to just ignore the one I grew from seed just because I have a pot of it already. I have refrigerator dill pickles to make!

And back inside (because we’re running out of room), the petunias and daisies. They sprouted a bit after the flowers that ended up on the balcony, but they’re doing well after repotting.

And finally, the basil and cayenne pepper. I have a special place on the balcony prepared for the basil, and as for the cayenne pepper, well ... I can get one more hanging pot for that; I think I can just squeeze that onto the balcony rail and still have room to lean while looking out over the view.

Not pictured: beetroot taking over the world, strawberry taking longer to bounce back than the herbs did, lemon balm veeeeeeery slowly sprouting, lavender not sprouting at all, two potatoes that actually survived last year (since replanted), a raspberry branch cutting I’m trying to propagate, and tomatoes that are slowly gaining enough height for me to consider cutting them. I just want them to get tall enough to grab the sun that hits my balcony wall ... without growing higher than my head this year. I might actually get more fruit that way.

I’m still not 100% sure what possessed me to start this whole thing - I just kind of wanted to. I’m really glad I did, though. I’m learning a lot, I’m enjoying myself, and now I can find new recipes as an excuse to use all these herbs I have.

#Thess on gardening

[seaside-werewolf]

tell me about your plants!!

(SORRY ANON I WENT TO BED BEFORE I SAW THIS! BUT I LOVE YOU!!!)

I have 7 plants in my room at the moment that I really really love, although I have a couple others around the house that I couldn't fit in anywhere else rip (including a massive monstera that is honestly outgrowing our tiny house, no windows or corners are big enough for it!)

The tallest plant in my room is one of my snake plants (Dracaena trifasciata) Not a great picture of it but it's doing really well! Its weird, i've seen some places say snake plants (or Tigers Tail, also a cool name) grow slow which is just not true, they grow incredibly fast if kept well especially over the spring and summer! The new leaf on the righthand side of the pot only started sprouting a couple months ago! The newer leaves on the bottom left are actually a separate plant I decided to put into this pot since there's still lots of space and snake plants often are kinda clumped together and have offshoots around the main oldest bits of the plant. Tbh, I should have left it longer to repot, I got too excited :' ) Snake plants actually like being quite cramped and you can/should leave them a good long while before repotting but mine luckily didn't see to mind! I really love the patterns on snake plants leaves, they are much stronger and lighter when the leaves are new and then do fade with age but they're so lovely :' )

I have a second snake plant that I rescued outside someones university accommodation when i was a student- They left it probably because they thought they killed it, but snake plants are very hard to kill and specifically come from environments where they get very little water, so tbh it was absolutely not a lost cause so it was sad they left it behind! That tall leaf at the back thats out of frame? One of the newer leaves that only started growing this year- shows how fast they grow! You can see which are the oldest leaves at the bottom, the damage on them is from its old home :' ) But it's been very happy! Did you know snake plants only release oxygen at night? They've adapted to do it because it stops them from getting dehydrated during the day! It's also good to dust the leaves or use a damp cloth to wipe them, helps them make the best use of the sunlight they get, I also give them a liquid plant food in the spring/summer, not that they super need it but just to give them a lil boost.

One plant that im very very proud of at the moment is my Silver Satin Pothos :' ) (Epipremnum aureum), sometimes called Devil's Ivy which is kind of a cool name. Most people probably have seen a Golden Pothos, which I think is the most common variety around, but my favourite is the Silver Satin variety because of the cool-toned colours and the amazing leaf patterns! Pothos love climbing and in the wild climb up their host trees (and can kill them if left unchecked...), i've been trying to think for a while of where I can move mine to so it can climb but I still haven't totally decided! In the direct sunlight, the leaves glimmer a little which is very very pretty. The difference between the size of leaves on a houseplant Pothos and a wild one is also insane, their leaves get absolutely Huge in the wild! They can also flower but it is rare, they have a hormone deficiency in their genes which is why it is so rare, although you can artificially get them to flower by spraying them with a gibberellic acid mix thing, I don't know a ton about it though, I'm happy to leave mine alone haha.

Here's one of my slowest growing plants though, a Green Trumpet Jade, or Finger Jade (Crassula ovata)! It's technically a Gollum Jade, but the interesting difference is caused by a mutation due to a bacteria, mycoplasma, which makes the normally flat leaves curl up into tubes! I can never get good pictures of my one but its a really decent size and I've had it for years, my oldest plant! Gollum Jades can live 100+ years and are sometimes passed down between generations!! In the very bottom of the picture you can see the babies, the leaves are fragile and pretty easy to knock off, so when that happens I just pop them into some soil and quite often they will begin to root!

Okay so this is my newest plant and it has absolutely exploded, its been so fast growing! It has doubled in size from when I got it at the end of May. It's called Inchplant, or Wandering Spiderwort (Tradescantia Zebrina) it also has an unfortunate common name that is rightly being phased out/called out more recently. A lot of people have these as hanging plants, but there's not really anywhere to hang plants in my room since it's small so I've opted to tie it to supports to encourage it to grow upwards instead. I got this one for the colour because it's just amazing! Never seen such pink/purple leaves before : ) The pink comes from anthocyanins I believe, specifically Inchplants like mine are bred to have higher levels of anthocyanin, the only way this really affects houseplants like this is they need slightly more light because less green in a plant means less chlorophyll.

Ahhh I feel like this answer is getting kind of long now so I might stop there hhdhfkj, my two other plants in here though are a Dragon Tree (Dracaena Marginata) which hopefully one day will move from window to floor as it gets bigger! And also my quite new Parlour Palm (Chamaedorea Elegans), it is a pretty popular houseplant but also slow growing, so it takes a long long time to get as big as some of the ones you see in fancy house decor photos, but I'm hoping mine will get to that point one day!

Thanks for indulging me anon, I love talking about my plants :" )

#plants #houseplants #anon #asks

[cangrellesteponme]

i'm an absolute genius who accidentally deleted the ask, but.

@bapydemonprincess asked for BardLau with the line "This is how you move on." so i shall deliver.

you wondered how i would write bardlau, and i... had no idea ngl but here we are. so, idk if this is post-canon or some kind of modern au, but... established bardlau moving in together. hurt/comfort ensues.

here we go, i guess.

There is dirt, warm and soft, under Lau’s nails. He knows his companion, whose hands are probably in the same state, must not enjoy the feeling much — he will probably absentmindedly pick at it for hours after they’re done, but that’s a concern for later.

It can wait, Lau thinks, as his eyes follow the now repotted plants in Bard’s hands. They’re moving rapidly, carried away with his hurried footsteps, while Lau peacefully rests, barely even sitting up, on the house’s coziest armchair. It’s big enough for two, if they invade each other’s personal space — and company would be nice. But his partner is still running around the house with nervous energy and that unpleasant frown of his, meaning an intervention is needed.

“How are you doing, really?” he ponders, throwing the question to the empty room as he waits for Bard to finally return, then, “You look like you’re having a particularly bad case of the jitters.”

“I’m fine,” is the answer, uttered too quietly to even come close to being convincing, and his stance is as tense as he obviously is, “just… plants. Putting them in the right room.”

“You look like the mere sight of them makes you queasy.”

“I like the plants.”

“Something more subtle troubles you, then,” Lau states rather than asks, “Tell me how you feel.”

There’s a moment of silence, and it is not unusual — truth takes time, he knows, and this seems like a sensitive matter. The ghost of nostalgia is laid bare in his partner’s eyes, but all of its warmth is long gone. He can almost make out the shape of a painful memory, one he’s heard of, as it resurfaces.

“It feels like… home. Not home, but home. We didn’t have potted plants.”

Bard goes silent again, and Lau knows no more words will come — not without significant strain. He doesn’t want that.

“That’s good,” he replies, letting his smile seep into his voice, “it doesn’t have to be the same.”

When some of the tension finally seems to leave Bard’s shoulders, he motions for him to come sit, smiles wider once it’s done. Lau takes his hand, and their fingers are immediately interwoven, squeezing hard enough to feel Bard’s pulse in every point of contact — it’s quick, but gradually slowing down until it nearly matches his own.

Lau wishes this would always work. Not every day is this easy, though, and the world never slows down long enough for this peace to last.

He wraps an arm around Bard as though the gesture alone could build a warm greenhouse around him, bathing him in enough light and love for true happiness to grow. That would be easier. More peaceful. But things aren’t so simple, and all they have for now is a fragile sense of comfort.

“It’s better if it’s different, actually — this is not replacing what you’ve lost. This is how you move on.”

Lau gets nothing but a quiet, pensive hum in response. That is enough. What could be done is done, anything else can wait.

#this took me awfully long for no reason. i knew exactly what i wanted to write within five minutes of receiving the ask #(because i do love using plants as metaphors for healing) #but it's done! #i hope bardlau nation accepts this humble offering <3 #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji bard #kuroshitsuji lau #bardlau #my writing #ota's ask answers #do not ask me why bard is Like That. i have decided that he is.

[ink-stained-words]

desperately holding on to this strange feeling of like

almost feeling something

I feel like I could feel something again

like there are things and people that could make me feel vibrant & whole & real

I just need to find the right combination of them

bc things were okay for a little while, they actually really were

and I'm not sure what happened

whether I discovered that my bar for feeling real was depressingly low

or if those relationships changed to where they're not enough anymore, by themselves

but I need more. more people, more of a routine, more ways I'm interacting with the world

I miss working in the plant shop and having regulars that recognized me

and there's a part of my soul that desperately, desperately wants to be known and wanted

in a way where I don't feel like being happy or talking about myself just makes everyone annoyed or upset

but at the very least

I want to feel like I have my fingers dipped into the world

I want to feel like I'm not contained to this house, to a handful of people who recognize my face, maybe my name

I want to stop feeling so small

I feel so small

I keep getting shoved into a corner bc that way, I'm not taking up too much space

but the corner makes my legs cramp and I know everyone means well but they're hurting me. so fuck this

I want to lie in the grass, I want to buy groceries, I want to plan for my future, I want to meet more people, I want to love more people, I want more

and maybe it'll hurt some people

or make them uncomfortable

but I've been uncomfortable for my entire life and they. can fuck off, respectfully. they're not miserable. I am

I repotted some plants today

there's this spider plant that's always been pretty strong, since I took it off the parent plant as a little seedling

I got a sloth plant hanger for my birthday, and put the little guy in it, right next to the window

and it's grown so much, in the last couple of months

I found a new bright yellow pot for it, with much more room for all the roots it has now

I'm somewhere between trying to use the sunlight to grow & becoming too big for my pot

I want to be in something bright and yellow and big. I want to fill space and make people proud

no one's proud when I do it

they all find something to be upset about

but if I don't do it I'm gonna die, like all of the seedlings I've potted that didn't make it, that shriveled until there wasn't anything to save

there's a new plant in the sloth hanger now

I hope it grows just as well as the last one did

I have a meeting tomorrow, to discuss working in a chemical lab over the summer. it might even be a paid position

I don't know what I'll wear. I should do my laundry

but I'm so excited to be a part of something real again

to do something that matters

there's a trip I'm taking in a week, to see my best friend

he's turning 18 and graduating high school

I'm not sure when I'll see him again, after this. maybe not for a long time. we both have to save money

I'm not even sure if I'm excited for it, yet

probably because I haven't talked to him on vc in a while. a week or so. but in my defense it was a very long week, we didn't talk at all for a lot of it

so my brain doesn't really know whether or not things are okay

they will be

with him, in general

it'll all get figured out

but the most important thing has to be whether I'm getting stronger or weaker, plant analogy speaking

bc there's plenty of sunlight

I'm just shit at using it

#thoughts #writing #this is all over the place #but I'm just #I'm thinking #about the future #about how people seem to know how to care about themselves #even when other people don't #I miss feeling like people got excited when I was happy #I get excited for them? #but they never seem to be that proud of me #I miss feeling like I'm living an actual life #full of things #instead of just letting the tide carry me #and maybe that's a lot of life #but I want to feel like I'm at least feeling the rocks and sticks I pass #I want to remember how many trees I see #there's life and time and I'm missing so much of it

[croissantbae]

July 10, 2022

I feel the passage of time most when I blog regularly. Because I consciously write down the date. And I’m always slightly taken aback by the date.

(1) I love our family gardening life. Naya has kind of always been into it. Even when she was teeny tiny. Dani is the least into it. But hopefully she’ll grow into it. Today when Dani took a nap the three of us went out and repotted a few plants. NAya was having a BLAST shaking fertilizer onto our plants. It was excessive. It’ll either kill our plants or make them into monsters. Naya also likes to check in on our worms too. I was feeling tired tonight but I forced myself to pot a few flowers my mom gave me and it reinvigorated me. Now I just want to keep putting stuff but the mosquitos are too intense.

This morning Jason made a warm bean salad w the tomatoes and parsley he grew. Dreamy. And for dinner we went to my moms and we ate the kketneep and peppers from her yard. I took a few cuttings from Eileen’s persimmon bush last week so I’m trying to propagate that. It’s so fun exchanging and getting cuttings from each other. I really hope the persimmons root successfully. I feel nervous about that one and my blueberries thst I’m trying to propagate. I repotted a blueberry bush and put it in new acidic soil and fertilizer and I think it shocked the blueberry because it totally withered. I took off all the leaves to hopefully stop the infection. We’ll have to try again next year for a fuller harvest.

(2) trudy and her family and hatty and her family came over to my moms for a very impromptu pool party. The pool was cold but also nice and refreshing for the hot day. Felt very much like kid summer vibes. Looking forward to more weekends there. I think my mom is also happy we’re utilizing it.

(3) Jason came back from vegas so I was w the kids alone for 2 nights and 3 days. On Thursday and Friday I was like bruh I got this. In my mind I thought he could have been gone for even longer! But just one Saturday morning without a nanny or someone helping me paSs the time was enough for me to be like “help me”. I was trying to clean the house but the kids were creating a mess 10x bigger than what I had just cleaned. And Dani kept slapping naya. I gave her so many time outs. Yelled at her. But home girl just stared at me with a blank face. No care in the world. And even during time outs she just chilled in the room.

Finally I realized there was the power of the tv. That saved my life.

[Naya actually drove the pool party to life because she was dying to swim. I had told her we were going in the water at kidspace but she thought I meant a pool so she got into her swimsuit and begged to swim for hours.]

At first it didn’t seem like the girls missed Jason that much except (1) when we were going to sleep the first night naya seemed concerned that Dani was going to sleep alone without Jason in the room w her, (2) naya kept asking where Jason was. I said he went on a trip. And she said she was scared. (3) we were at Nordstrom and Dani pointed at a mannequin in the male section and said “daddy” lol.

After he came back naya told Jason she missed him and she was scared he was on a trip. It really affirmed (again) we can’t divorce and neither one of us can die.

[finsterhund]

Baby beans update:

I now as of writing this have four confirmed scarlet runner plants. Got the fourth new sprout just today.

I had to prune a leaf off of my first and biggest and favourite because it got stuck to a pest trap on the window but it seems to be doing alright in spite of that. Has yet to start vining around supports despite me giving it one to try out already and attempting to coax it onto it. Maybe it's way too soon. I have multiple trellis styles for them to choose when they actually start wanting to anchor themselves.

Been on the hunt for plant rooting hormone with no success. I don't want to have to buy it off Amazon but looks like I might :( I want to get into propagating cuttings as it's more interesting to clone pieces of a plant than waiting for seeds to germinate (blame all the fucking parsley my roommate wanted me to grow for his rabbits. That shit is boring as fuck. Things still haven't sprouted. So much of my limited window space is dedicated to parsley. I can't wait until it sprouts so I can stick it on the patio and give sprouting real estate to something that doesn't go to hell and back before sprouting. Then when I finally get to go to a garden center I see they're selling already established parsley plants and for fucks sake... Oof... Should have just gotten one of those and tried to propagate it to grow it out more. I know for next time I guess)

I got a mysterious plant at the store. No clue what it is but my friends say elephant ear and I'm losing my mind at what are the chances!!! I hope it is because of that. No clue how to take care of it. The only words on it were the barcode that said "tropical" so I'm just winging it and hoping it likes what I do for it. Here's a photo if you think you can identify it

This mysterious plant looked sad and alone and fucked up like me so I rescued it. Repotted it and it seems to be doing okay considering I have no idea its care requirements.

My neighbor who's been super nice gave me random bulbs and seeds so I've got tulips I think. Roommate wanted to learn how to plant things so I let him plant one of the bulbs and it seems to be doing alright. Thinking about putting them on the patio in these little hanging planters I got from the dollar store. Not a flower man to be honest (blame my allergies and the fact that flowering can kill a potted Venus flytrap) so I'm less interested in having them in my room. But what I do like is daffodils. I associate them with my grade 3 teacher and I'm pretty sure the school planted a whole bunch of them in his memory so when I saw daffodils I had to get them. They're doing pretty good in a terracotta pot I got for them. I've been pruning off flowers and leaves when they dry out and it's been shooting up new ones.

I'm trying to propagate a blackberry cutting without rooting hormone and there's buds sprouting but no visible roots yet. Oof. I heard raw honey is a good rooting hormone alternative and I have raw honey so maybe I'll try.

I desperately want to propagate cuttings from beloved trees of my childhood. Since cuttings are clones it's like literally having part of that tree with me. But I'm so far away I can't collect cuttings. That's why I called my mom last night but she doesn't understand or know how to do it and didn't want to do it so that's a bust. Apparently willow is really easy to propagate and also really easy to make a bonsai tree so my immediate thing I will beeline to if I ever get to go back there is the beloved willow tree. Willow is so good at propagation you can make a steeped tea out of fresh willow growth and use it to propagate other plants! So if I ever get my hands on a clone of my beloved childhood willow tree I'll be doing that with the cuttings.

My mom might if I'm lucky passively try to get me acorns from one of my favourite childhood parks though so this is something at least.

Someday I want to do grafting!!?! Which is like propagating cuttings but more like a dark arcane abomination magic. It's where you take a branch or something from one plant and surgery it onto another plant. And it lives!!?? Yeah. Turns out that's how you grow fruit trees that don't suck. That's why my childhood attempts at apple trees never bore fruit (hahahahahahahaha look I made a funny) because especially with things like apples and avocados the seed you grow doesn't necessarily result in a tree that has those fruit. It's weird as fuck tbh. So you have to graft from a plant that does. Apparently there's possibilities for certain abominations. Aka different fruits on different trees. I think that's extremely cool but fucked up. kinda like if you got an organ transplant and it brought with it skills or talents or interests of the person the organ came from.

I want to get cuttings of the fruit trees from the Spot house also. So many places so many plants.

Mom also said there are oak trees in grandma's garden. More reason I want to go back there. What must the garden be like now? What survived? Hnnnn

I want to live in the farmhouse and restore the garden so bad. I'm more of a greenhouse guy so maybe I'd convert it into a greenhouse. Would be better in the long run for retaining moisture and overwintering.

Truly feel like I'm in my magic rock special powers era right now. Apparently I'm too focused on my plants and that I should be patient and that I'm expecting them to grow too quickly so hopefully the novelty will wear off to some extent so I can be more casual.

I'm looking for good full spectrum grow lights to use as bulbs for my main bedroom light. So far I've only found those weird purple grow lights. If I had sun emulation as my bedroom lights that'd mean I could grow plants anywhere in my bedroom and also it would probably help me. I just gotta make sure that having grow lights on all the time isn't carcinogenic, you know? I wish I could find one of those lightbulb splitters that's also a timer so it would switch from the grow bulbs to a normal bulb after a certain point. That would be the dream. Having my lighting situation automated without stupid smart bulb phone app stuff that dies after a year *glares at my previous setup*

Having bulbs that are enough for plants as the main light source of my room and being able to put plants everywhere would be nice I think. Imagining sunflowers and runner beans just all over the place. I'm having difficulty figuring out how to put hanging pots into my window but if I was able to grow plants anywhere I could just screw hooks from the ceiling and do that instead.

I wish I had so much more space. Like if I had an entire room dedicated to being a greenhouse. I want bonsai trees so much. Apparently the conditions I keep my bedroom make it more ideal for bonsai than people's homes which is neat. I also heard that if you plant a bonsai tree properly even after years it will grow into a normal healthy tree. So I could have bonsai of rare endangered or otherwise desirable trees and then upon my death they could be used in reforesting efforts. Or just put at my gravesite instead of a body.

It's sunny today. Happy because it's good for my plants.

#text post #cazza nose beans #long post

[grad602lilyhart]

New World Little Garden

https://www.newworld.co.nz/littlegarden/gardening-guide

Looking at how other companies market their seedlings and how they inform customers of how to plant them correctly (so they reach their full potential as plants). The last thing we would want is customers not getting the full experience from their plantable paper due to being uneducated on how to plant and care for the seedlings. This would lead them to believe the product is a waste of money.

New World have limited info on their actual boxes (though they have a simple method like the above), and focus on providing more information to the customer on their website. As a large company, I like that they have focussed on reducing paper waste, as well as creating a hub of information around the Little Garden brand. This is great for customers to visit when they want more than just the bare minimum info.However, they do feature a simple step by step online as well as on the Little Gardens themselves. This method is short and sweet, allowing the customer to be engaged whilst not boring them.

There are tips for growing healthier plants and repotting which I think is a great idea to upsell other products. If Plant Hug ended up also selling different gardening compost or growing mixes, this would be a great opportunity to upsell these products, or like New World has, work together with another company (they worked with Tui Garden Products) in order to support one another’s brand.

I really like that the NW website also has the below tips. Our team looked at using plants within our packaging that would attract bees (therefore encouraging pollination). I think these are definitely things we could feature on our website for when our customers purchase our product online, or search our product to learn more.

___________________

The next place I looked at was Wildflower Favours which is a company that sells customised seed packets and seed paper.

https://wildflower-favours.co.uk/how-to-plant-our-papers/

I think that a small illustration that shows how to plant our seed packaging would be really good for customers, particularly those who are visual learners or more likely to be impatient with reading long instructions. This way we can keep the words to a minimum and focus more on the method using imagery. 

The one issue with this is that potentially the sides of our box are currently too small/don’t have enough room.

[brockachu]

just some small housekeeping things:

- tweaked my icon again to make it a lil more ~aesthetic~. (thanks @jeffreyskinner for your tutorial, it inspired me to make my edits)

- tweaked my desktop theme just a bit (removed a Very old bg photo, cleaned up the sidebar & description)

- remade my about page; includes some quick facts about me & my teams + a tag guide (my tag system is p straight forward, but i’m sure some clarification will help for anyone who likes to maintain detailed filters)

- slowly going through and just cleaning out old posts & things i’m no longer interested in &/or i have nothing fun to say about in the tags.

anyway, i’ve had a bunch of recent new follows — so, hello!! anon is always on, ask is always open, i try to make this an approachable if vaguely rabid space. be kind to yourselves, beloveds 💖

#op #aily talks #blog stuff #yesterday i did Actual housekeeping things and did a bunch of cleaning & plant care #got the last repottings & last fertilizing in til spring now that my plants are showing definitive winter slowdowns #also finally got around to draping more of my various vines/spreaders up the walls of my bedroom & craftroom #only thing i’m behind on for plants still is getting a mosspole for my monstera so i can start propping it up one of my craftroom walls #i’m so in love with my plants. i have monstera vines growing across my bedroom wall over my headboard #in my craftroom i have several huge fiddles in the center of the room #and then purple heart climbing up the east wall and my huge monstera on the west wall #the entire south windows ledges are covered in plants but that’s how it’s been for years. and then i have a couple new hangers up too #over my staircase facing the south windows i have a long drapy pothos & a big happy zz #then downstairs in my living & dining room i have a few more pothos and one small fiddle and a ficus and some aloe #still deciding if imma bring my green onions & mint containers in for the winter or let them go dormant for a bit. they had a big summer #i finally repotted some bamboo & several of my overgrown succulents & snake plants #not hockey

[gretavansteph]

Sunshine 7 | Josh Kiszka

ngl idk how I feel about this chapter that’s why it wasn’t posted yesterday like planned. oh whale, I hope you guys enjoy!

—————

Following the almost incident in the kitchen with Josh, you weren't really sure what to call it so you settled on that, things slowly got weirder and weirder. You'd catch Josh staring at you on occasion, yet he wouldn't be caught dead left alone in a room with just you. He'd been making excuses to run as to not risk being left alone together. You wanted to talk to him about it, figure out why in the hell he had even entertained the idea of kissing you, let alone acting on it.  He didn't like you, this you were sure of since hello, you had been pining after him for years and nothing ever came from him. Granted he didn't know until recently but still, if he had feelings for you he would've done something or said something instead of waiting for you to grow some balls and come out and share with the rest of the class what you had been hiding for years. So to say shit was weird around here was an understatement.

It was no surprise that Sammy went and told the other guys what he saw, and they all minus you know who, came bursting through your door a few days later. You were in your backyard repotting some of your new plants when they ran out there bombarding you with questions all at once. You put them to work, telling them you weren't spilling any juice for free, and with the 4 of you elbow deep in potting soil and all sorts of roots, you recalled that night in full detail. You shared the questions and concerns lingering on your mind, sharing how you were iffy about his behavior lately. His outbursts at you and Sam, claiming you two were 'lovers' and then suddenly trying to kiss you and then he's all but running away from you? It was all too much and his mood swings were giving you whip lash.

"I think he likes you." Jake said, stopping everyone's movements.

"What?" you asked, clearly stunned. "There's no way I'm not even going to entertain the thought of him-are you-huh?"

  Sammy nodded his head in agreement, but Danny was the one who spoke up. "Think about it, Y/N. You told him how you felt, and he didn't run away. He wasn't weird about it, nothing changed between the two of you and it's all the same. And suddenly he's acting like a jealous boyfriend because you're close with his brothers? Which is something he has known for years and now suddenly it's a problem? Dude, and, he tried to kiss you?" Danny reasoned. He was gentle, but made sure he was getting his point across. "He made the move, not you, Y/N. It was all him. So yeah, I agree with Sammy and Jake, if he didn't have a thing for you back then he definitely does now."

Your head was spinning with the possibilities of your best friend actually liking you back the same way you did. But there was no way, right? Why now? Why suddenly after all this time and why did it have to conveniently be after you poured your heart out to him? He was clearly confused he had to be, there was no way he was actually into you.

You voiced your thoughts to the guys and they all shook their heads in disagreement.

"See that's the thing," Sam started. "Maybe he just needed a little pull from you to realize that you guys were never meant to be just friends, no matter how long it's been."

Jake agreed, pushing the finished pot in his hands to the side and starting on a new one. "I mean fuck, no best friends act they way that you two have. That shit only progressed over the years like, c'mon Y/N, you too have shared a bed practically naked more than once. You don't see us doing that with you."

You couldn't help but laugh, he was right. But there was still no way in hell that Josh had a thing for you and the fact that you were even entertaining the idea was stressful enough. You didn't want to get your hopes up, so you changed the subject.

"Just, think about it." Danny said. "Pay attention to his behavior."

You let out a sigh, but thankfully they didn't press any further. You all went about finishing up all the plants at hand, and they stuck around to help you set them up around the yard. You were slowly running out of room but you loved it, and as if reading your mind they expressed the same thoughts. It made you really happy, knowing you could offer a place of serenity for them and for yourself of course, it was really really special and you were ecstatic at the appreciation everyone showed your garden.

The guys didn't stick around much longer, they had to go meet up with Josh and deal with some music thing, so they said their goodbyes and with one last hug you parted ways.

  You spent the rest of your day lounging around, enjoying the time you had for yourself. You loved spending time with the boys, but you all also enjoyed your time spent apart. You ordered a pizza for dinner, not up to cooking, and you enjoyed it on the back porch swing, breathing in the fresh air as you watched the sunset. You tried not to think about what the guys had said, not wanting to get your hopes up. It was hard enough not having him after all this time, but you had somewhere along the lines sort of accepted that it would never be. But now these new thoughts and possibilities that clouded your mind hurt even more than his unreciprocated feelings. You found yourself back in the same mindset as before, scared and nervous, unsure of the unknown. You traveled through your house and found yourself in your bathtub. You needed to get it together, you needed to push these new thoughts out of your head as all they were doing was messing you up, and you needed to get rid of the hope that maybe, just maybe, the boys were right. You couldn't afford that right now though, you had just spilled your biggest secret not that long ago and you were still recovering. Another blow like this and you feared your heart might evaporate from your chest, not being able to handle more suffering. You loved him, god you were so in love with him and you wanted nothing more but this new theory to be true but you couldn't handle it if it wasn't. So you pushed the thought from your mind. You went about getting ready for bed after hours spent in the tub, and you stared up at the ceiling in silence until eventually sleep over took your body, finally shutting your mind off.

-----------------------------------

   Over the next couple of days you did take into consideration what Danny had said, and you kept a close eye on Josh and the way he behaved. Sure he was still distant, still refusing to be caught alone in a room with you but you noticed the looks he would give you when you were sitting a little too close to one of the guys or when you'd be laughing so hard at something Sam had said, even glaring at his own twin at one point when he wrapped you in a tight hug as he was saying goodbye. It was weird, it was so so weird and you mentally made plans to talk to him about it once and for all. You were going to get to the bottom of it, no more going around in circles.

You planned on doing it tonight, as they had invited themselves over to your house for drinks. You made sure to ask them to bring something to grill, letting them know you would have the black stone ready upon their arrival. You loved using that thing, it was so much fun and you could cook anything on the damn thing. They arrived a little after 6 o'clock, letting themselves into your home and making a beeline straight for the kitchen as they all carried in various bags.

"Are we making food for the whole neighborhood or what, damn." you joked, taking notice of your kitchen being flooded with grocery bags.

"We, aren't making anything." Sammy said. "Daniel insisted on cooking for us tonight."

You looked over at Danny for conformation, and he nodded his head with a happy smile.

You were glad to have been rid of kitchen duty, knowing this was your chance to relax and unwind before your intervention on Josh, who speaking of, was sitting outside in the garden all by himself. How convenient.

"So, are you done being blind?"

You turned your head at the sound of the question, looking at Jake as he continued. "Have you been noticing how jealous lover boy has been lately?"

You rolled your eyes but nodded your head. "I wouldn't say he's jealous, but I have been noticing his weird ass mood swings."

It was their turn to roll their eyes.

"God," Sam groaned. "You two really are perfect for each other."

"You're both blind as hell."

The three of you looked at Danny in surprise.

"What?" he said with a shrug. "It's true, and you know it too Y/N you both do, but  neither of you has the balls to admit it."

You were all stunned in silence, never having heard Danny express himself like that. Yeah he cursed from time to time honestly who didn't, but he was always so gentle and caring and he would let you down slowly no matter what but not tonight.

"He's right," Jake said, walking over to you and pushing you towards the back door where his twin was still sitting. "Now go, and don't you dare come back in here unless you two are done being stupid."

You turned to look at him with a not so impressed look. "This is my house, remember?"

Sammy came over to stand next to his brother, mimicking his actions of crossing his arms over his chest and blocking you in close to the door. They both gave you a pointed look and you huffed, rolling your eyes once more before stepping outside onto the back porch, hearing the door shut and lock before you even had the time to think of turning back around.

  You slowly made your way over to where Josh was sitting, your heart beating a million miles a minute it seemed. You could hear it in the quiet of your backyard, and you hoped he couldn't hear it as you took a seat next to him. He didn't say anything as you sat down, making sure to keep some safe space between the two of you.

"How come you're sitting out here by yourself?" you asked, breaking the silence.

He looked over at you for a second, before moving his eyes to stare of at the plants.

  It took a while for him to say anything, and you took this time to gather your thoughts. What if the guys were right? What if he does have feelings for you all of a sudden? What would happen then? Would you two date? You mentally laughed at the thought. It made you nervous and bubbly on the inside, but you weren't sure how you would handle this type of information. You were used to him not reciprocating anything, you were used to your love being one sided but for some reason you were still afraid of the small chance that that could change. It could change tonight, right now.

Josh sighing brought you back from your thoughts, and you made sure to pay close attention as he spoke, not wanting to miss anything important.

"I just needed to think," he said.

"About what?" you wanted to make sure you were quick with your answers, not giving him enough time to back out from answering any.

  "You," he replied, and you knew the surprise was evident on your face. "And me...us."

You let out a shaky breath as you asked, "What about us?"

He was quiet for a moment, but it felt like an eternity. Just as you were opening your mouth to press him further, he spoke up.

"I've been thinking about that night you told me you loved me." he confessed, and you blushed at the thought and waited for him to continue. "I don't know how I didn't realize before. I mean we've always been naturally close, being best friends since we were kids but it always felt different. And I could never figure out why. Even I admitted to myself a few times that certain things we did were much too intimate for friends, but I ruled it out as me being comfortable around you. Comfortable enough to be intimate and not be turned away because it was between friends and we both knew that. At least I thought we did," he paused, taking a breath. "I've been so confused ever since you told me you loved me, and I apologize for avoiding you, but ever since then it opened up a different door in our relationship that I wasn't sure would ever open or if I even wanted it to. But it did. And I found myself questioning my actions and even yours, wondering if this or that was a friendship gesture or not. If you hugging me goodbye or kissing me on the cheek was the friendship you or the other you."

You frowned at his choice of words. "I'm still just me, Josh. You just know a little bit more about me but it's still me." you said quietly.

"I know!" he snapped, making you jump slightly at his tone. Seeing the nervous look you gave him his eyes softened, and he continued. "I know, I know and I'm sorry. But this is extremely difficult for me, Y/N."

You scoffed, but before you could say anything he continued.

  "I never thought you would like me this way, I never imagined it but then you told me and I couldn't help but see you in a different way as I questioned every move you made and what I said. It had never been like that with you, but I wanted to make sure I didn't say the wrong thing." he was becoming frustrated you could tell, but he was determined to get it all out. "As I paid close attention to what you did and said, I started taking notice in the way you behave around the other guys. The way you lean on Jake when he talks and the way you hang off of every word Sam says even if it's something stupid, the way you let Danny touch you and hug you and I just, I didn't know what to think I still don't. But I found myself feeling....not so happy about the way you seemed to be so close with the others. I wanted it to only be me," he confessed, turning in his seat to face you. "I wanted to be the one to make you laugh the way Sammy does, I wanted you to hug and kiss me goodbye the way you did Jake, and I wanted to be the one prepping dinner for everyone right by your side instead of Danny. I wanted it to only be me," he repeated, scooting close to you and taking your hand and placing it above his rapid beating heart. You gasped at how strong and fast his heartbeat was, feeling the exact same thing inside of your own chest.

"This is what you do to me, mama." he whispered, clutching your hand tightly. "This is what I've found myself feeling for some time now, I just wasn't sure what to make of it. Seeing Sammy flirting with you openly without a care in the world made me think back to that night of the bonfire, and the way I reacted. I was so defensive and I've come to realize, with the help of Jake actually because he's the one that pushed me in the right direction,  it was because I was so nervous that you wouldn't have wanted to kiss me as much as I did you and then you told me you loved me and I wished I could turn back time and go back to that night and just kiss you."

  You were stunned, so stunned you couldn't come up with anything to say. You were surprised, fuck you were surprised and if anything a little annoyed that the guys had been right all along and you refused to listen and just ask. That's all you had to do, that's all either of you had to do apparently.

"Please say something," Josh begged, giving your hand a squeeze as it still sat pressed against his chest.

"I don't--I just--I don't know what the fuck to even say." you stuttered, and it was the truth.

  You had no clue what to say or what to make of what you hoped was your bestfriends love confession. You were so sure of it, but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted to hear him come out and say it word for word. You didn't want anything to get lost in translation. Not anymore.

"I mean you want this, right?" he questioned nervously. "I'm not the only one that wants this I can't be."

You pulled your hand from his chest, running it through your hair in exasperation. "Of course I want this," you sighed. "I've been wanting this for years but you could be confused, Josh. Why now? Why all of a sudden now you out of the blue have the same feelings for me?"

He scooted the rest of the way until your legs were pressed against each other and he took ahold of your hands, making sure to hang on tight. "I think I've always secretly felt the same as you did, and maybe I was just afraid of the what ifs. But when you told me how you truly felt about me everything suddenly became so much more....real. Everything felt different in the best way possible. Jake even told me so himself, that he's always known  that deep down we've always been destined to be more than friends."

You could feel the tears coming. This was so overwhelming you weren't sure you could handle it. After all this time all you had to do was speak up, and he'd be there. You spent so much time worrying about what you were feeling that you hadn't given any thought to what the boys had said. Any real thought at that, as you could've been thinking back to a few years ago attempting to analyze his behavior and maybe you would've noticed something. Something that he's referencing now. Both of you could've done that, but you didn't. Instead all this time went by and now you're here, in the place that you hoped and dreamed to be but always seemed out of reach.

"Mama, don't cry." Josh pleaded, pulling you into his chest.

You hadn't even realized you started crying, but you let him hold you as you clung to him in return. Your tears after the longest time weren't sad, they were the furthest from sad. They were happy, happy that the man you loved finally loved you back.

Holy fuck, he loved you back.

You pulled back with wide eyes and looked at him. You looked at him and his beautiful face without a single care in the world. Not caring if you looked creepy or crazy just staring at him with your eyes wide and filled with tears yet so much love and life. You stared into  his beautiful honey colored eyes, the way they seemed to glisten in the disappearing light of the sunset. His eyebrows, thick and full and so beautiful. His hair, always perfectly shaped like a curly halo on his head, his nose and his lips, fuck his lips. You had thought about his lips for years, yearning to know what they would feel like against yours. You had always just hoped for a small taste, and you were so close to getting to experience them just only a few nights ago. You were so close.

  As if reading your mind, he placed one of his hands on the back of your neck, pulling you into him until your foreheads were resting against each other. He held you there for a moment, the both of you taking in the intimacy. It was like something out of a movie, surrounded by flowers and greenery, the sun dipping low as it prepared to lay down and rest.

  "Joshy?" you whispered, watching as he leaned in closer, ghosting his lips on the corner of your mouth.

"Yes, my love?"

  Your heart melted at the pet name and you were thankful to have been sitting down, knowing your knees would've gave out on you the second those words left his mouth.

"What do you want, mama?" he whispered against your lips, so close but never close enough to actually kiss them.

You couldn't help the small whine that left your throat, you had been aching for this for so long and he was taking too long.

  "You know what." you answered shyly.

He shook his head, some of his curls tickling you as he did so. "Nu-uh, you'll have to use your words for me, baby. After all, the lack of them is what got us into this mess in the first place."

You were hot, in many more ways than one and he knew damn well, which is why he continued to tease you. Running his lips along your cheeks, leaving small kisses before making his way to your lips, only barely touching the corners of them before focusing on brushing his nose against yours.

The hand that wasn't holding you in place found a home on your thigh, and he rubbed it up and down slowly, much too slow for your liking and it was only making you even more hot.

"I can't give you what you want if you don't tell me, lovey."

Fuck, these pet names were killing you. It was torture, him knowing the effect he had on you and using it against you in such a sweet yet punishing way. You knew he wasn't going to give you what you wanted unless you told him, but you were feeling rather shy you weren't sure you would be able to get it out, but somehow you did.

"Kiss me," you all but begged.

  But he didn't make it that easy.

"Where, baby?" he questioned, giving you a confused look that you knew was pure bullshit.

  Fuck it.

You grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him into you, nearly missing the surprised look on his face before his lips crashed onto yours. Finally. You happily sighed into the kiss and he took it as an open invitation, sliding his tongue past your lips. This time there was no interruptions. It was just you and Josh sharing your first kiss, a kiss that you had both longed for for so long. It was hot, very very hot and wet and you loved every single second of it. You clung to his shirt as he moved his hands to your waist, pulling you up then back down onto his lap, your legs on either side of him. He moaned into the kiss as your hands moved up and into his hair, tugging on it enough to detach your lips so they could explore his neck. You left open mouthed kisses all over, nipping and sucking here and there and the sounds he was making let you know he enjoyed every second of it. He didn't give you much longer to enjoy his neck, before he was pulling you back onto his lips. His lips that tasted so sweet, like honey. Just like you had imagined. His hands wandered all over your back, touching and feeling and groping places he had never explored before. You could feel his arousal pressed up against your heat, and it only made you want more, didn't matter which way you just wanted him, all of him.

  Feeling your lungs burning as they gasped for air, you pulled back. His eyes were wild, his hair and his shirt were disheveled thanks to your wandering hands. His lips were red and plump from your attack, and the way he traced his thumb over yours you knew yours matched the look of his. You both sat in silence, trying to calm your heavy breathing.

  "Fuck," he breathed, and all you could do was nod, causing him to laugh. You laughed along with him, though you weren't sure what was so funny. His laugh had just always been contagious, and right now with you sitting on his lap, you had the best seat in the house. Watching his head tilt back as he laughed, his shoulders bouncing up and down and his neck wide open, his Adams apple inviting you to suck on it. And you did, which halted his laughing immediately as he let out a small moan.

  You didn't take it any further than that, though you both wanted to. Instead, after sharing one last kiss, this time more slower and contained than the first, you climbed off his lap and pulled him up stand with you. In a silent conversation, he let you pull him back over towards the backdoor, but before you could reach the door you were pulled back into his chest.

  He held you in his arms for a while, his heart beat picking up speed as your chests pressed against each other. You hummed in content, closing your eyes and leaning into him as much as you could. His grip around you tightened as he began to slowly rock you back and forth.

"I want to take you out tomorrow night," he said, breaking the silence. "Would that be alright?"

You pulled back enough to look up at him, a stupid big smile on your face matching one of his own, and you simply nodded your head. "I would love nothing more." you whispered, as if it were a secret meant for only his ears.

He cupped your face in his hands and pulled you into another kiss, seeming unable to get enough. You weren't complaining, you could've stayed there forever. Had it not been for the loud and rather poorly timed cheers that came from inside your house, you very well could have.

  Pulling away with a blush, much to Josh's dismay, you took his land and led him inside, mentally preparing yourselves to be bombarded with questions. As you sat around eating the wonderful meal Danny had prepared, the both of you answered as much as you could, silently agreeing to keep some things private. The boys all gushed at the right parts, cooing and awing at the two of you, yelling a 'we told you' in unison that you had you and Josh rolling your eyes, not wanting to come out and admit they had been right all along.

  It didn't matter who said what and when or who was right and who wasn't, all that mattered is that you were happy. You were so happy and in complete and utter bliss at the fact that the man you had been pining after for literally your entire life, returned the same feelings as you did. You wouldn't change anything, besides maybe letting him know of your feelings sooner. But you were more than okay with how things turned out, and as you sat on the couch with your lovers head on your lap and your fingers in his hair, you knew it was only going to get better.

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#gvf #gvf blurb #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #greta van fic #joshkiszka #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka fluff #joshkiszkaxreader #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh gvf #josh kiszka #jakekiszka #jakegvf #sam kiszka #sam gvf #danny wagner #danny gvf

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Four // Wanda Maximoff

chapter three | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter five

author’s note: I hope you all don’t mind the slow burn because it’s like my favourite thing and i promise things will get spicy soon 😂

Since my rather abrupt revelation about Wanda, I found myself racked with guilt.

Not because she was a girl – I couldn't help my feelings in that sense – but because she was my brother's fiancé. And every time he came to me, gushing about how great of a date they had or how much he was falling for her, the guilt hit me like a sharp pain in the chest, because I understood what he was saying. I felt the same.

And it didn't help when they would occasionally go on dates in front of me, and all I could feel was an unexplainable jealousy in the pit of my stomach. I had no right to feel like this when she was an engaged woman. Her naturally flirtatious personality was simply that: a personality. And even though we'd had a genuinely lovely day a week ago when she invited me to her home, it was no reason for me to think of her in such a way.

The next date on Y/B/N and Wanda's journey to marriage was at our house in the garden. I wasn't actually aware of it until I saw them sat on some garden furniture.

My mum wanted me to help her with some gardening and I found her kneeling by some plant pots, a fair distance away from Wanda and my brother. As I approached her, I glanced in the couple's direction, seeing them sat opposite one another and enjoying a selection of finger foods and tea. They were far away enough to have privacy, but close enough for me to make out their expressions.

"For goodness sake, Y/N," my mother said when I kneeled down beside her to help. "Do you have to wear those horrendous trousers?"

I rolled my eyes, sitting on the ground comfortably. "I'm curious, mother. Do you like anything that I do?"

She gave me a disapproving glance. "I'm only looking out for you, dear. That outfit is very... unladylike."

"Well, they're comfortable," I quipped, before grabbing a spade and getting to work.

"So are dresses," she pointed out, continuing repotting her plants. "And they're prettier, too."

"Considering I have to wear a dress all the time and that I'm in the comfort of my own home, I'm going to pretend you didn't just make me feel bad for wearing these."

She didn't say anything, but I could tell she wasn't happy. I didn't mind wearing dresses, but I would be lying if I said trousers weren't more comfortable. The only time I could wear them was at home when doing chores or simply lounging around. I'd make the most of it whilst I could, no matter what comments my mother made.

I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty as I helped her repot the plants before digging into the soil and planting some seeds she'd bought this morning. My mother, despite adoring gardening, hated getting messy, so you can imagine the look on her face when I got soil all over my clothes.

"I wish you would act like a lady sometimes," she mumbled to herself, but I didn't let it faze me. It was all I heard, so I was used to it.

Laughter sounded from behind us and I risked glancing back, seeing Wanda laughing at something Y/B/N said. I rolled my eyes subconsciously before looking back to what I was doing. My fingernails dug into the soil with irritation, directed at them and also myself. Though, despite my irritation, I still had an urge to glance back at Wanda, and when I did she was looking my way this time. A mere glance on her part, but she directed a smile my way before looking to my brother again.

I'd like to say that was it, but I continued to steal glances of her as I worked alongside my mum, taking what I could get as I admired her from afar.

She looked stunning today, as she always did. Her long curls were left out, flowing over her shoulders and pretty green dress; I wasn't close enough to be able to tell, but I was sure that her dress complimented her eyes. A dark forest green colour with golden flecks, matching the deep green of her dress. Or so I assumed.

"They seem like they're getting on well," my mum said at one point, earning my attention. She was talking about Y/B/N and Wanda as she continued, "They make such a lovely couple."

I swallowed hard, nodding lamely. "They sure do, mum."

She gave me a sideways glance. "You know, your brother will be married soon and then it will be your turn."

I groaned quietly, knowing where this was going. There was no point trying to stop her because once she started, that was it.

"You can't just keep locking yourself in your room and writing stories," she was saying, but I attempted to tune her out which sometimes felt impossible since she had no off button and her shrill voice always managed to break through my bubble. "You have to find a husband. An actual person who you can marry and who can take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Y/N, you know that's not what I mean..." but I stopped listening as she got started going on another ramble about the benefits of having a husband.

Instead, my eyes darted around the garden until they naturally gravitated towards Wanda. It was definitely the wrong time to get distracted by her though, since she seemed to be sucking some food off her thumb. As she did, her eyes found mine and she took that as her opportunity to wink in my direction playfully, hiding a smile as her thumb remained between her teeth. Y/B/N didn't seem to notice, as he was looking the other way, and I felt my cheeks heating up as I looked away quickly, remembering my dream.

She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother.

A stupid mantra that didn't work, but I attempted to drill it into my brain anyway.

"...and it would be nice to be able to do all the wedding stuff for you next time around," my mum continued to ramble, unaware of my flustered self.

The image of Wanda sucking her thumb was permanently engraved in my head and I struggled to wish it away. No more staring for today, I told myself, before getting lost in gardening again.

After ten more minutes of nonstop nattering about finding a husband for me, my mother excused herself to refill the watering can. I was grateful for her momentary absence, appreciating the silence and lack of guilt-tripping. Until I heard footsteps behind me shortly after, making me groan loudly.

"I'm not finding a husband right now!" I snapped, unable to take it any longer. But when I spun around to give her a piece of my mind, my mouth hung open like a fish out of water.

"I'd sure hope not," Wanda answered with a stifled laugh. "Then I'd have to share your company with somebody else."

Closing my mouth and standing up, I cleared my throat. "Sorry. I thought you were my mum."

She nodded, eyes roaming my whole body for a second, making me nervous under her stare. I hadn't actually seen her since my inappropriate dream and it was growing increasingly difficult to be so close to her without thinking about it.

"I figured. I just wanted to say hi," she said, expression softening as she met my eyes.

I was right about the dress bringing her eyes out more. A forest green colour, as I'd predicted.

"Hi," I said, giving her a small, nervous smile. "Erm, how is your date going?"

She shrugged, raising her hand to hold her forearm comfortably. "It's okay. It's wonderful out here, I'll give him that."

Relaxing into the conversation, my awkwardness fading already, I smiled in agreement. "Yeah, it is pretty."

A smirk appeared on her lips. "Yeah. So are the gardeners."

Admittedly, it took me a few seconds longer than it should have to realise she was talking about me. When I did, I felt a heat creeping up my neck and to my face and looked to the grass to distract myself. See, when she did stuff like that, it made me question a hell of a lot.

She chuckled. "So, gardening. Another dislike of yours?"

I shook my head, risking looking back up to her. "No, actually. I don't mind it. I'm just not a fan when it gives my mother an opportunity to discuss marriage."

Wanda's interested was piqued as she quirked a brow. "Oh? Your mother has suitors for you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut at the possibility, shaking my head. "I'd rather not ask, Wanda."

She let out a short laugh. "You've got time anyway. At least until Y/B/N and I are married."

I hoped she didn't see the involuntary wince I did at the mention of that. "Honestly, I'm not even thinking about that now... I'm nowhere near ready for that."

"Would you not want to get married?" she asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.

I sighed, looking around, unable to keep my eyes still. "I don't know, I guess? Eventually? But to somebody I love, not some arranged marriage just for the sake of it." My words sank in quite quickly and I straightened up, instantly looking to Wanda with apologetic eyes. "Bloody hell, that is not what I meant to say–"

"It's fine," she reassured me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I get it. And, well, you're not wrong."

I smiled halfheartedly, the guilt at my previous words still present. I could honestly say that I wasn't aiming that comment at her, but I wouldn't blame her if she took it that way.

"It's important to fall in love with the person you marry," she said, gaze locked on mine. "You have to learn about them, who they are. Their likes, their dislikes. Their personality. If they have a sense of humour or if they're as dry as cardboard. If they're into you as much as you're into them."

Nodding slowly, I wasn't sure what to say. My mouth went dry the longer she watched me, eyes dancing with an emotion I couldn't recognise. Then her eyes fell to my lips and my knees began to shake subtly, wanting to give in because of how confused I was.

"Y/N, dear, don't dirty Wanda's dress with your muddy hands!" my mum called, breaking the strange silence that had built between the brunette and I.

Stepping back with realisation (and grateful for the interruption), I wiped my hands on my shirt subconsciously, making a further mess of my already mud-stained clothes. "Sorry."

When I looked up, Wanda was chewing on her lip, eyes doing a once over on me yet again. It was moments like this when I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or if she actually had an interest in me, maybe, like that.

"Wanda, honey, let's get you inside," my mum spoke, approaching the two of us and looking to her.

Nodding, Wanda glanced at me once more, shooting me a sweet smile, before being led away by my mum. I breathed out slowly, knowing it was wrong of me to feel this way about her. But it was hard not to fall for her when she had so much about her that was interesting.

Her passion for art, her teasing, playful attitude, her sense of humour... and then there were the physical aspects, like her beaming smile, her luxuriant brown hair and her entrancing hazel eyes. She was literally perfect and my brother was one lucky man. For once in my life, I was actually jealous of something he had that I didn't.

"Y/N!"

Speaking of the devil...

"Y/B/N, hey," I said with a smile as he approached me with an extra jump in his step. "What's up?"

Grin on his lips, he smacked my arm. "Did you see, Wanda? Didn't she look stunning?"

The guilt was cutting real deep. "She did."

"I think I'm in love," he gushed, eyes rolling backwards with delight. "She's perfect, Y/N, you don't get it."

"I can imagine...," I mumbled, but he barely noticed, too lovestruck to realise.

"Every date I've been on with her has been amazing," he continued. "If we weren't already engaged, I would've proposed!"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, definitely not expecting this. He'd made his attraction to her known since the moment we'd met her, constantly talking about how gorgeous she was, but he'd never sounded happier than he did now.

"Mum adores her," he said with a content smile. "Dad would probably marry her if we was thirty years younger. And you–" He looked to me gratefully. "You're making an effort and I appreciate it."

Oh, God, the guilt was overwhelming.

"Everything is going perfectly," he finished with a sigh. "I just– I can't wait to marry her, Y/N."

I smiled for his sake, but my insides were shrivelling up and failing me. I was a horrible person, wasn't I? What kind of monster falls for her brother's fiancé? Me. I'm the monster. But not anymore. I couldn't let this get out of hand. I had to do better.

I promised myself I'd do better.

—

Doing better was going well, I'd like to think. I mean, it had only been two weeks, so I couldn't guarantee, but I was no longer having... thoughts... about the Maximoff in question.

Yes, there was that familiar inkling of jealousy tugging away in my stomach whenever Y/B/N would talk about her, but I think I was getting better at ignoring it. I had convinced myself that my feelings towards Wanda were not true but merely a schoolgirl crush (which I wasn't allowed to have, but still) and that I'd get over it after some time.

I'd liked, maybe two girls in my life before her. The first being when I was a child, about five, and a girl in my class did something different to her hair. If I remember correctly, she always had one ponytail that sat at the back of her neck, then one day, she came in with two braids down her head and it really wasn't a massive change, but five year old me developed a huge crush on her. That was when I learnt that a girl liking a girl was not only forbidden, but viewed as a sin.

The second girl I liked was in my Literature class in secondary school. She was probably the first person I'd fallen for in a way that was considered more than a simple crush. Something about her way with words was so attractive to me, as was the cute smile she'd send my way whenever she'd be my partner for an assignment. I never told her how I felt for she only ever treated me as a friend and the last thing I wanted was to bring shame to my family for liking girls.

Those instances, and the fact that I regularly found myself admiring women in a way I found incapable with men, made me realise I was different and I always would be. And so, the chatter about finding a husband and getting married always scared me because I was afraid that I'd be stuck in a place that I would never get to be myself in. Even though that was the reality of most women anyway.

So, in addition to the fact that it was wrong of me to like women (though it felt anything but) and that the woman I liked now was my brother's fiancé, I convinced myself it was just a mere crush I had on Wanda. She was a pretty girl with an attractive personality and that was it.

Or so I thought.

"Go get your brother, Y/N," my mum said one evening. "He's in his study. Dinner is almost ready."

I nodded and headed to my brother's study across the hall. He was sat at his desk, focusing on something specific that he was writing and barely acknowledging my presence. I glanced around the room, taking in the bookshelves filled with manuscripts, both published and unpublished, and notebooks of ideas piled on desks.

I wasn't jealous of this place, I really wasn't. And I wasn't jealous of my brother either, even when he got credit for things I'd written. I was just angry and hurt that I couldn't have the some privileges he got, such as his own personal study to write whatever he pleased.

"Dinner's almost ready," I called to him from the doorway. "C'mon."

He didn't turn around as he answered, "I'll be with you, one second."

Curious to what had captured his attention, I pushed myself from the doorway and approached his desk. He had a lamp turned on, the yellow light lighting the page he was scribbling on. I peeked over his shoulder and saw him pause from writing, stuck in thought. It gave me the chance to read some words and I tried not to laugh.

"Oh my god, is that a love letter?"

Surprised at my presence, he covered the page with his elbows and leaned on them, looking to me with red cheeks.

"What? No, that's... no," he stumbled out, shaking his head.

Stifled smile on my lips, I looked to him with humoured eyes. "You have to let me read it."

He shook his head frantically, trying to play it cool. "I don't think I can do that."

Well, now I was really curious.

"C'mon, I've read pretty much everything you've ever written," I told him, perching myself on the edge of his desk. "Just a little read and I'll drop it."

Pondering my words, he slowly began to straighten up, uncovering the page. With a sigh of submission, he nodded to it, wordlessly giving me permission to look. I grinned, grabbing the page and holding it to the light so I could read it.

It was mostly ramblings – unfinished sentences, phrases, clauses – but it was all about a certain someone, a love letter as I predicted. It talked about this person's body and lips and humour and fingers and because I was so caught up in teasing my brother, I failed to realise that I was reading about Wanda. At least until it mentioned her accent.

My smile faded when I saw the way he wrote about her, with such passion and ferocity and– he was seriously in love with her. And it may or may not have stung a little because everything he'd written was accurate and I felt the same way. Well, not the in love bit, but pretty much everything else.

"So? Is it bad?" he asked nervously, and I lowered the page to see he was waiting for a verdict. "It's messy, I know. I was just journaling and then it kind of happened."

"It's sweet," I told him truthfully, offering him a reassuring smile.

His shoulders relaxed as I put the page back on the desk before him. "Thank you, Y/N." He paused, before glancing up at me sheepishly. "Now that you're here, you may as well tell me if there's anything I can do to improve."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why? Are you planning on giving this to her?"

He shook his head instantly. "No, oh God, no. That would be severely humiliating. I just thought you could help me for me. You always make my writing better."

I snickered, shaking my head with amusement. Behind the scenes was where I thrived apparently.

"Quickly," I told him as he held out the paper to me. "Mum is waiting for us."

He nodded obediently and I took the paper from his grasp, getting another look at it. Skimming it with my eyes yet again, I found the first criticism and pointed to it so he could see.

"This bit here," I said gently. "You talk about her eyes and say they're magnetic."

"Is that not good?" he asked with a frown.

"It is, it is," I said politely, not wanting to offend him. "But that's all you've written. You want to give the reader a reason to believe you. Why are they magnetic? What about them do you find yourself attracted to?"

He nodded, seeming to get it. Leaning back in his seat, he had a think. I waited patiently, curious to what he would come up with, but then he sighed defeatedly and looked to me.

"What would you write?" he asked, and I smiled with disbelief. It always ended up like this. Me helping him, challenging him with a thought, then him ending up using what I say.

"Okay, let me think," I said, crossing my arms and staring ahead. "Wanda's eyes."

"Here," Y/B/N said, making a gesture to placing something invisible on my head. When I quirked a brow of confusion, he added, "It's your thinking cap."

I rolled my eyes but laughed quietly at his stupidity, then tried to think about what to describe Wanda's eyes as.

It wasn't difficult to imagine them despite having not seen them in a few days. They were always bright, animated, lively. Whether it was green, blue or brown, they were irresistible and as my brother wrote, they were magnetic.

I breathed out, speaking from the heart without thinking. "When Wanda Maximoff looks into your eyes it's like she holds all of the elements in a single gaze. At times, they're greener than the earth itself, captivating and tranquil and daring you to look away. But then they're also bluer than the brightest of skies and darkest of oceans, deep and and liberating and easy for you to get swallowed up in."

A smile fell on my lips at the thought. She truly was something.

I continued slowly, "In the light, you can make out golden flecks, like the first sliver of the sun in Spring. It's hopeful and guiding and fills you with warmth. But what isn't obvious upon first glance is how tempestuous they are, like air itself. She's got a passion behind her eyes that is scary at first, but when you get to know her, you realise that it's a storm worth raging."

It went quiet when I finished and I zoned back into reality, Wanda's eyes blinking away from my mind in an instant. I pursed my lips and looked to Y/B/N with mild concern, realising just how much I'd rambled. He raised his eyebrows with surprise, staring at me.

"Y/N, that was amazing! How did you think of that?" he asked in bewilderment.

I shrugged, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. "I don't know. I just thought about a random set of hazel eyes and applied my thoughts to it."

He smiled, impressed. "Amazing. I love it."

Grabbing a pen, he began to write furiously on the page and I stood up, dusting myself off.

"You sure that's not going to her?" I asked, still feeling fuzzy from what I'd said and hoping she'd never see it.

"Very sure," he promised, not looking up. "It's just for me."

I studied him judgementally. "Okay, well, maybe get rid of that part about her breasts then. It's a little creepy."

He looked up to me with a boyish grin. "I'm only a man, Y/N. Can you blame me?"

I rolled my eyes, shuddering at what he was implying. The mere implication of a thought of him and Wanda... nope, I didn't want to go there.

"I'll see you at dinner," I said, pointing a thumb over my shoulder. "Try to hurry, yeah?"

"Yes, I'll be right with you," he assured me, his hand moving in a flurry as he wrote. "Just writing what you said so I don't forget. Could be good for a future book, who knows?"

I forced a smile, humming in agreement. "Right. Well, I'll see you at the table."

He nodded and I left his room, letting out a deep breath. Just another day in the Y/L/N household.

—

Popping into town for errands was surprisingly not a task I found boring. If anything, I preferred it, using it as a chance to get away from my mother's incessant marriage-related conversations and my father's constant praising for anything Y/B/N did. Nowadays, it was also a way to escape anything wedding-related, which was a plus.

This time, I was only nipping out to return a book to the library, but my mum caught me before leaving and asked me to deliver some letters to the post office since I was already heading that way. Happy to prolong this outing as much as possible, I accepted the errand and headed to the post office after returning my book.

When I was there, an advertisement caught my eye. A chalkboard outside the store displayed a deal the train station were doing. I probably would have ignored it if it weren't for the mention of Blackpool.

2 FOR 1 ON BLACKPOOL TRAIN TICKETS THIS WEEKEND

Remembering my conversation with Wanda, I realised I hadn't actually followed up with her on my promise of taking her there to paint. She probably didn't even remember, since it was a while ago when we spoke of it, but the idea of going there with her made me excited. Was it stupid to get the tickets? Probably. But did I go inside and get them? Of course.

It was only when I got home did I realise how silly it was. Would she even want to go? What if she made an excuse to get out of it? Oh, this whole thing was stupid. I was overthinking it. Friends went on day trips all the time, it's wasn't a big deal.

To my surprise, when I poked my head into the living room to tell my mum I'd posted her letters, Wanda was sat on the couch with her. They were drinking some tea and having scones, chatting away. I'd called my mum before noticing, so when they looked my way, I clumsily entered and straightened up to make myself look presentable.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had company," I apologised with an awkward smile, eyes flickering to a smiling Wanda before looking to my mum. "I just wanted to let you know that I dropped the letters off by the post office."

"Perfect, Y/N, thank you," she said in response, before looking to the setup before her. "You can join us if you'd like."

I was quick to smile gratefully, though shook my head. "It's okay, you guys enjoy. I'll just be in my room if you need me."

My mum shrugged, sipping her tea, and Wanda watched me with a small smile, nodding in greeting, before looking away. I licked my lips uncomfortably before backing out the room and heading upstairs.

I was working on yet another manuscript that wouldn't see the light of day at my desk when I heard a knock on my door about an hour later.

"Come in!" I called, not looking up.

The door opened and I finished my train of thought before turning around, surprised to see Wanda walking into my room.

"Oh, hi," I got out suddenly, words falling from my mouth without me thinking first.

She smiled softly, stopping before me. "Hey. I'm heading home now, but I just wanted to say goodbye."

I stared at her, forgetting how to speak because she was wearing a lovely floral dress that complimented her figure perfectly.

"Oh, and I thought you might like these," she added before forgetting, then held out a box towards me.

Recovering from my initial stupor, I reached out and accepted the box, realising they were chocolates.

"I got them for your mum, but she said she's not a fan of hazelnut," she explained, and I looked up to see her looking elsewhere with a nervous smile on her lips. "You don't have to have them of course. I can just... eat them myself."

An amused smile tugged at my lips as I quirked a brow. "You'd eat them all yourself?"

She was very much aware of how silly she sounded, but she was adamant on appearing confident, so she nodded with certainty. "Yes... apparently I would."

Lighthearted laughter escaped my lips as I set the box to the side. She was trying to stand her ground, but then she sighed and began to laugh, too. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sound and I appreciated the crinkle by her eyes when her smile widened.

"Thank you," I said, settling on a smile as I watched her with amusement.

She nodded, smile of her own still present, before pointing behind her. "I'll, erm, go now."

When she turned to leave, I felt inclined to say, "Wait!"

She paused, turning around patiently, and I knew there was no going back now. Standing up, I grabbed my purse from the side and pulled out the train tickets.

"When I was out today, I saw that the train station were doing this deal on tickets to Blackpool," I started, hoping she couldn't see my hands trembling slightly. "And I remembered that I promised to take you so you could see the water." I closed my eyes, praying that this wouldn't be a mistake, before opening them and looking to Wanda. "We can go, if you'd still like to." 

She raised her eyebrows, eyes glued to the tickets in my hand. No words were being said and my heart thumped in my chest with the realisation that I may have done something insanely stupid. Before I could even think to apologise, a grin spread across her face and her dazzling blue eyes met mine, freezing me in place.

"Are you serious? Y/N, I'd love to!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to launch herself onto me, arms wrapping tightly around my neck.

I gulped as she did, not expecting that reaction, but returned the hug by folding my arms around her waist loosely. She smelt really good, which was probably wrong of me to note, and I enjoyed the feeling of her so close to me, also wrong of me to note.

"Okay, well, the tickets are for this weekend," I said, desperately trying not to stammer when she pulled away. "I can meet you at the station in the morning. Eight."

Her eyes danced with excitement as she accepted the ticket I held out to her. I reminded myself that this was just a friendly day trip and nothing more.

"Eight," she confirmed, attempting to stifle her eagerness by biting her lip and nodding.

I swallowed hard, trying ever-so-hard not to let my gaze drop to her lips. Because then I'd think about kissing her and that was definitely not what I should be thinking about my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Oh, God, I was screwed.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine

[sunnysviolin]

Sunny hums when he zones out sometimes, like some random melody, it’s a rare occurrence since most of his “zoning out” times are just him off in another world

Haha this is cute nonnie! Okay this does bring me to my ‘who do I think are good singers’ headcanon! I’m going to bounce off of that idea and combine it with yours a lil bit! 

Hero is good at so many things. Hero is smart, talented, handsome, and has so many different skills

Hero can’t sing. Can’t sing to save his life. Boy can’t hold a tune whatsoever

Aubrey can sing, but she doesn’t really like to. She has a nice voice and when she’s alone she rocks out, but other than that she isn’t really inclined to just randomly start. She doesn’t even hum

Basil is shy babby. No one even knows if Basil can sing (I can tell you secretly he’s not half bad but none of the gang has really heard him) 

Basil likes to hum though, and he does it a lot. 

He hums when he waters his flowers, and if he’s alone (like double checked doors locked absolutely 100% alone) he will sing to them because he read somewhere once it helps plants grow if you sing to them

Kel can sing, and Kel actually isn’t half bad. Not only that Kel actually really enjoys it. He sings to himself a lot, and he makes up a lot of tiny songs

I could totally see during-game as you’re running around town Kel makes up a bunch of tiny jingles that narrates what they’re doing. He’s done this ever since they were little, and it’s usually when it’s him and Sunny doing something

Sunny isn’t super emotive, but he always gives one of his tiny half smiles when Kel sings his little ditties, so Kel keeps coming up with them

*We’re going to finnnnd Basil’s photo ALBUM! Yeah!*

Was this stolen from me making up tiny jingles for myself as I played Omori? Maybe but yk what it’s a Kel thing so I’m giving it to him. LMAO 

Now nonnie this is where your ask comes in :D

So Sunny is another one of those who can sing, but Sunny doesn’t normally at all

They know Sunny has a good voice, but unlike Mari he was never really inclined to sing at all

And then Mari died and Sunny stopped speaking altogether let alone singing. I’m of the headcanon that the first time Sunny speaks after Mari’s death is at the end of the true ending when he says I have something to tell you 

But!! Post-canon his journey has taken a new path

So when I got this ask I had a scene of it in my brain immediately and this is that scene

So post-canon the group of five are spending the night together at Hero and Kel’s house. Their parents went out for the weekend for a long date, entrusting that Hero would keep things under wraps. They put Sally down to bed awhile ago, and now they’re all lounging around the living room. 

Kel and Aubrey are playing Mario Kart, trying to keep their bickering at a dull roar but needing pretty constant reminders from Hero to keep it down so they don’t wake Sally

Hero is chatting with Basil who is telling him all about the aloe plants that Polly helped him to repot. Aloe is apparently the plant that Basil has chosen to represent her.

It is both patience and harmonious strength. Aloe grows slowly, but the plant lasts for generations and becomes part of the family. 

Sunny is reading in the corner of the couch, sitting in the middle between the groups of two. The house is warm from the summer heat, but not humid, his belly is full from the pizza, and his book is reaching an especially interesting point. He’s with his friends, and everything is okay. 

Sunny’s mind drifts away from his novel, sinking into the pleasant calm of being around those he loves. A whisp of a song that Mari used to play on the piano lazily swirls through his mind and he catches onto it, letting it play out in full. 

Slowly the conversations stop and the game is paused. They all turn to look at Sunny who is still lost, humming in his own world. He has an uncharacteristic smile adorning his features, and his book is slipping from his fingers. Hero slowly reaches over, carefully lifting the book out of his friend’s hand and placing it on the coffee table. 

Sunny dozes off before he can finish his melody, but he doesn’t need to. Kel and Aubrey go back to their game, and Hero and Basil continue their conversation, but they all make sure to keep the volume low so as not to wake Sunny.  Everything is okay now. 

#asks #anon #omori #omori headcanons #omori headcanon #omori hero #omori aubrey #omori sunny #omori kel #omori basil #omori mari #omori polly #singing #who can sing #who cannot #This was so sweet nonnie #I hope you like the fluff I added #after the angst of this morning #we needed a chaser of happy