#scared but not in a scared of aging way

[reverie-starlight]

i turn 20 in one week 🥹

#rev rambles #vent in tags I suppose?? #scared but not in a scared of aging way #scared in a holy shit my childhood was already over but now it’s REALLY over kind of way #in a “oh things were already bad but now they’re also very very real and have more weight kind of way #things have more weight now and I don’t feel ready or prepared kind of way #yk??? #i still feel like I’m 17 mentally cause. everything stopped for me that year. basically. #like I feel very behind everyone else my age especially my friends #but also at the same time I’m cautiously optimistic abt what this year will bring #very very cautiously tho. #extremely cautiously tho. #birthdays are always weird for me idk #i get more reflective an ig that’s normal for everyone #but idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ #anywayyyyysssss I promise I’m not actually sad rn lol #just thinking !!

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[uncanny-tranny]

Begging, begging, begging people to stop associating aging and femininity in men/masculine people as Wrong and Predatory. Femininity has no age limit.

To any feminine man, masculine person, or really, anybody who needs to hear this: Your femininity deserves to be recognized and celebrated. Aging is a natural and unique part of life, and you don't have to sacrifice your femininity for fear of being "too old" to be accepted or seen as charming. You are already charming.

There is no limit to being who you are. No matter what you're told, you still deserve to completely claim yourself.

#queer #gender nonconformity #gnc #lgbt #lgbtq #not just about queerness since femininity in men/masculine folks isn't inherently queer... #...but there is a venn diagram of feminine men/folks and queerness if you get what i mean #this even goes out to every cisallohet man who Wants to be feminine and yet feels scared and limited :) (genuine) #aging is NOT antithetical to femininity. you are NOT predatory and you don't need to 'grow out' of your authentic expression #every time i see an old fem man out living his best life i want to actually ascend to heaven (in the best way) #and i will become his protector. if anybody THINKS about being mean to him for being feminine i WILL fus ro dah them to hell

[namelesspages]

Look I drew Jonny D'Ville

#inking this took me ages and now I'm too scared to colour it in any way #jonny d'ville #the mechanisms #my art #traditional art #i didn't quite get the face right but overal it turned out pretty good

[impromptu-sketches]

I love that Kazuki is -super- aware of how powerful Rei is, like in the last episode saying, “that guy there’s a living weapon” - he knows he’s not on the same level.

And yet, we never see Kazuki afraid of him.

Everyone talks about how Rei lets his guard down when Kazuki cleans his apartment, cuts his hair, and they move in together (and we know that Rei isn’t one to let his guard down easily - as we know from the bathtub). 

But knowing Rei could kill him any time or place, knowing he was the son of the organization’s leader, Kazuki did all of those things anyway.

They were vulnerable with each other from the start.

#buddy daddies #anime #kazurei #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #kind of interesting that Kazuki is never afraid of Rei though #like obviously because they're partners they don't fight each other #but when they argue or disagree #kazuki has never been afraid of them physically fighting #he was never scared that rei would resort to violence #assuming they moved in together right away #i guess they never fought before? #it's kind of funny because kazuki is way more physical with rei than rei is with kazuki #it's times like this where the age difference is kinda funny #kazuki (28) is living with a 25 year old killer

[tiny-merkitty]

ur daily reminder that having a caregiver or someone that looks after you while regressed is not necessary for regression and creating "cg forms" for strangers to fill out or looking in unmoderated online spaces is incredibly dangerous!

you wouldn't let someone you barely know look after your child, don't do the same to your inner child.

#this especially applies to age regressors because of the amount of dualcom and just how vulnerable being #regressed makes you. #the idea of “agere only meetups” full of strangers #or “agere forms” for strangers is a very easy way for people with ill-intentions to find people that are mentally vulnerable and use that #there are people that will exploit that. and while i dont say this to scare you i do think more people should be more wary abt these things #that is all goodnight #sfw interaction only #age regression #merkitty babbles

[john-ohnn]

#way more scared to post this than i probably should be. for the record i interpret hobies age as 16 #spiderverse #itsv #atsv #miles morales #hobart brown #hobie brown #miles x hobie #hobie x miles #punkflower #flowerpunk #odieart

[softly-sinning]

girlfriend is coming home today!! i’m literally so excited but at the same time i’ve misbehaved the past couple weeks (read: we had agreed that i wasn’t gonna cum until she got back and i didn’t listen… like 5 or 6 times at least) and i know she’s not gonna forget about it cause she already promised a punishment of some sort so hopefully it’s something good 🥰

#i was talking to her this morning #and i think she might tie me up somehow #which is new but ahhhhh #i’m obsessed #it’s not actually new #but we haven’t really done it much #just discussed it ages ago #so i’m very very excited #idk what else she’ll do tho #cause no way that’s all #i’m not scared #but i’m a little apprehensive #oh well hehe #yolo #wlw nsft #lesbian #lesbian ns/fw #lesbian nsft #sapphic nsft #wlw ns/fw #wlw

[tennessoui]

where’s my toxic dark academia au where the Jedi Order is a prestigious private university for rich kids who are all a different flavor of beautiful and fucked up, and Anakin is the kid they let in on scholarship once every a few years and he comes in scrappy and defensive and in love with the daughter of the family who is sponsoring him (and maybe half-adopted him when he was 10 so it’s a bit fucked up all around)

and he meets this pretentious dickbag of a student on his hall who is so cold and aloof that anakin can’t stand him, this guy obi-wan who’s so beautiful and untouchable and who sees right through him

I imagine they fuck in the most explosive way where they’re in the middle of a very loud fight in some bathroom in some rich kid’s house and neither is sober, and obi-wan says some awful shit about anakin being in love with Padmé and if his adoptive parents knew they probably would wish they hadn’t adopted him and anakin says some awful shit about how obi-wan’s been sent to boarding schools all his life cause his father never wanted him, and it starts as a fight but they’re just punching each other with their mouths and probably crying too

#Kit’s silly lil AUs #cw: drugs #(maybe these tags do not go together lol) #obikin #give me that toxic same age obikin #scholarship kid anakin in a world of burnouts and trust fund kids #trying to belong #maybe after their first time obi-wan decides he’s gonna take him under his wing #and show him the high society fucked up kids ropes #only there’d be so many scenes where anakin slowly finds out how fucked obi-wan is #and he slowly starts caring more and more #in a way that genuinely scares him so much #that he leaves before he graduates?? #ends up writing a book about it ten years later (all names changed) #and obi-wan finds him because in the book he is not shy about calling obi-wan the great fucked up love of his great fucked up life #lol I guess this has very little in common with Star Wars

[lovelyrotter]

can we all remember to just say 'oh no thank you, i dont like that kind of food' but apply that logic and rules to shipping and letting other people ship again

#my t #dirkhal #yes im tagging this because thats what this is about #i see the start of another stupid fucking morality-based ship war in this tag and im not here for it #dirkhal is historically considered stridercest #using stridercest as an umbrella term #it doesnt mean the -cest part has to mean incest if you dont want it to. it can absolutely mean selfcest #davedavesprite is also concidered stridercest but its much more in line with dirkhal in that its selfcest. see the logic? #but like #can yall be fucking nice to your neighbours weve been here for a long time and havent been hurting anyone #if you can come to terms with the thought of dirkhal with hal/AR CANONICALLY being a brain clone of a 13y/o dirk #when we have no actual solid evidence to prove that he ages like dirk does in his physical body #then you can learn to share a fucking tag. because nothing in stridercest mirrors actual irl criminal or harmful activity #because its playing with dolls. we're all playing with our barbies and ponies here #and the problem with all of us trying to play w/ our barbies and ponies is that some very scared people see other ppl enjoying making ponie #kiss and they start screaming and trying to take all of our toys away when they dont actually have a monopoly on any of these toys. we shar #we share. that is what we do in fandom. theres an infinite amount of ways to interpret dirkhal #if you dont apply this logic to fans who enjoy things like game of thrones then dont do it here #take a step back and breath. we're all being normal. youre being a bad guest. please learn to share again. youre not being hurt #having a reaction to art is not actually Being Hurt

[that-disabled-princess]

Lavender hearts [M, 3.4k]

Summary:

America, 1950s. Queer people are fired left and right, friends lose their jobs daily--and sometimes, their lives.

Simon and Baz are caught in the middle of it all with a homophobic father and an unconventional (in more than one way) relationship, terrified out of their minds but unwilling to give up the fight. They'll fight for years if they have to. They'll fight for decades.

But even the strongest wills can be broken with the hardest of blows.

My fic for @carryonthroughtheages is here! Thank you @bazzybelle for running this fest and for being a supportive mod and friend 💖 And a huge thank you to @j-nipper-95 for beta reading! Your enthusiasm and encouragement have kept me going 💖💖

Please take note of the content warnings in the tags and beginning notes.

Read on AO3

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #wayward son #any way the wind blows #my fic #lavender scare #lavender hearts #cotta 2023 #carry on through the ages #carry on through the ages 2023

[mymarifae]

hobbies: extensively researching horror movies because i'm too much of a scaredy cat to actually watch them and because i hate watching movies

#horror is a fascinating genre to me and i do looove working with it #and i believe the best way to improve your writing and art is to engage with other media. so you can learn from others! #like even if you end up hating a certain book or movie or show or video game or whatever that's a valuable experience... #because now you know what not to do in your own works! #but because i'm too scared to actually properly watch or read or play horror i feel like my horror writing and concepts may be lacking.. #so i like to pull up random horror movies sometimes and look into their plots and the characters #and if they were adapted/inspired from a book i'll look into that too #looking at silence of the lambs atm. didn't know this was a horror movie i thought it was like #idk. a coming of age story about a sheep herder😭???

[junipershouse]

a few examples of oo3o airwalking suits.

there are four main components of an airwalking suit: the control center, where the main body of the oo3o lies, the external stimuli interactors, which are used to process data about the outside of the suit and interact with the world around it, the life support systems, which pump fluid into the rest of the suit and maintain it at a consistent temperature, and the ambulatory systems, which move the suit. this has been a consistent model since very early suits built by oo3o hundreds of years ago, with additional functions being added on as needed.

the most common model places the control center in the center of a large satellite designed for sensing delicate airwaves and amplifying them into a sensory stimuli. the control center typically has several windows where the oo3o can watch out of. the central bodies of oo3 largely consist of a fatty jellylike substance which carries nutrients throughout the body, and fortunately this substance can be compressed and squished without much discomfort, so the body can fit in a small sphere no problem. the tentacles of the oo3o either fit into the various tentacle-covers on a suit, which are then used to interact with things, or they are curled up under the control center and assist in exiting and entering the airwalking suit. this covers both the control center and the external stimuli interactors, and the rest of the bulk of the suit is consisting of life support, which usually consists of a large tower which the main body of the suit sits on top of. the issue of life support has been a constant struggle for designers and users of airwalking suits ever since the first were developed: oo3o are very flexible and fast creatures, but in an airwalking suit, their bodies are basically attached to a very large very heavy tank of fluid and pseudomachinery which makes movement slow and cumbersome. and as suits became more advanced, the life support towers became heavier and larger. modern models have tried to circumvent this issue by splitting the life support tanks into divisions, which can then be moved individually to try and allow a slightly wider range of movement, but the issue still remains.

the first oo3o airwalker suits were built using the cast shells of specially bred invertebrates, genetically selected over generations to provide the perfect shape for a panel or a sphere. these shells were then connected using an airtight gum produced by another invertebrate. ambulation occured using a complicated interlocking lattice of miniscule shells, which, using naturally occuring electromagnetic pulses and trace amounts of conductive metals found in the shells, were able to move. the modern models are much more complex and use more pure metals and metal alloys (as living onland has allowed for more sophisticated metalworking techniques) as well as biomechanical and necromechanical parts (necromechanics being the practice of using dead-but-still electronically productive parts of oo3o bodies to power machinery)

the individual in the modern suit in the image is called owis! theyre another member of rrikrik's crew (technically it isnt rrikrik's crew but stillll)

#speculative biology #xenobiology #alien species #sci fi #worldbuilding #oc #oo3o tag #... i watched a documentery on the flatwoods monster and felt the need to draw oo3o airwalking suits... #flatwoods monster is to oo3o what grays are to ki. however. unlike ki. oo3o do not have a population in the milky way galaxy #there has been one (1) oo3o who ended up on earth and they were a very old lost cosmonaut who got scared of some kids and then #went in the ocean and lived with some weird sea cucumbers on the ocean floor until they died of old age #oh yeah. rowny is 6ft tall as always #well technically hes closer to 5'11.... but he not say that

[secondscion]

I have so many thoughts about Joshua and his father and the way his father died but the problem is whenever I try to put them into writing I explode

#ffxvi #joshua rosfield #joshua's obsession with protecting the people he cares about but insistance on keeping some distance from them #the way his father's last words were Elwin trying to protect him #just like. how traumatizing it would be to witness your dad suddenly get Ned Stark'd right in front of you at the age of ten #the way he clearly cares deeply about jote but sends her away #away to safety and happiness (he hopes) but also away from him #because he's playing games with a god and he can't stand her getting caught in the crossfire #he stays away from clive for five years presumably to protect clive #i think he projects a confidence he doesn't actually really feel tbh #i think part of him is still the ten year old who was buckling under the knowledge that everyone will look to him for hope and protection #and i think he's really really scared to watch anyone else he cares about die #anyway. rotating him in my mind #what i'm saying is i think he still has blood in his eyes

[birbwaifu]

Sergi from Blood Moon by @barbwritesstuff because who could’ve guessed I would fall in love with the older guy

#my art #choice of games #fanart #hosted games #blood moon #what I wouldn’t give to hold him in my hands and shake him around #affectionately #my tiny mc looking at this absolute brick shithouse like #yeah this is happening #like this man is built in the best way #the absolute #badonkers #on this man #he is no longer wolf he is big teddy bear #and my mc is huggin him at all times #also @mc the age gap rly is that big like #around 20 yrs a lot let him process this #and would love the option to be a virgin with him but I fully believe if that was the case #he would leave the building #like he’s already so scared could u fuckin imagine #anyway that’s just some of my brain rot with this man #tune in next time when I try to do an actual piece #I got somethin cooking #will I finish it? #:)

[mellotronmkll]

cannot put into words how much finding out that women with autism being misdiagnosed with bpd is like a super common thing shook my entire understanding of everything I had experienced my whole life that was the real final nail in the coffin but it's crazy I somehow didn't know that until recently

#And like It Just So Happens #Anyway at this point...and now that my mother has started literally just sending me lists of all the traits that are obvious in hindsight a #things she missed and now is kicking herself I'm just like...well it's just like I'm documenting things and I really think once I just #have insurance you know . I've just been like What if I'm wrong for like a year now but to be honest #I think at this point after all the research I've done and discussions I've had it's like. There's no way bro #Like you have a multi page google doc of evidence #And like it's funny cos my mom will be sending me random texts out of the blue too like did I mention already the fact that you would #sit and study maps for hours as a kid and if anyone interrupted you you had a meltdown and I'm like well #But its like these texts constantly all day #And im like tbh you're going through the same realization process I went through but now you're also telling me things I forgot or didn't #even know that are just blasting any. Doubt of the water #But I think she feels guilty also that she never noticed and im just like shrug I don't know like #there's just many many many such cases so like #But its very helpful I was so scared to tell her about it for so long but apparently she'd been already wondering for ages too so like #And now she's also just like This makes so much sense it just makes everything make sense and I'm like see. That's what I'm thinking too