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magicshopaholic · 2 years

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Strawberry And Vanilla (Seokjin x OC)

Summary: Months after you and your best friend decided to do the deed for shits and giggles, Seokjin brings you ice cream while you bring him something else.

Pairing: Seokjin x OC

Genre: Best friends, humour, banter, angst potential

Word count: 5.1 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: none

A/N: So happy to be writing for Seokjin again, not to mention visiting Nari after so long! A big thank you also to @casuallyimagining and @alpacaseoks for beta reading this for me <3

This fic takes place approximately six months after You Make Me Live, and contains mentions of Namjoon and Kaya.

Tagging: @bbl32, @dreaming-with-happiness, @meirkive, @quarter-life-crisis2, @ggukkieland, @kflixnet, @k-radio (drop me a message to let me know if you'd like to be tagged)

Listen to: “the kids aren't alright” by fall out boy

seokjin masterlist | main masterlist

She’s strawberry and he’s vanilla.

Strawberry; sweet in theory, but has its share of other things, primarily the burst of juices in your mouth, along with seeds and delicate skin. It's a pleasure to devour - but only if it’s the right amount of ripe. It isn’t until you bite into it that you find out if it’s too juicy or just the right amount of sweet - much like Nari. It isn’t until she’s in front of him that he finds out how she is: sweet because that’s how she is, or sad because of a failed surgery, or stressed because of hospital politics - or a combination of all.

Meanwhile, Seokjin is vanilla. What you see is what you get with him. Sweet, but not overly so. Comforting and familiar, universally liked because he’s straightforward and uncomplicated. Depending on the situation or the right toppings, he can become sweeter, crunchy, fruity - whatever you like. If the strawberry is sour, the vanilla makes up for it.

Thankfully, today Nari seems to be the right kind of strawberry.

When Seokjin reaches the hospital, he debates for a moment whether to go in or not. Something about hospitals intimidates him; he’s not afraid, exactly, but the sterility and seriousness of the environment makes him feel far too incongruous being a part of it.

Still, Nari is in there somewhere, no doubt sleep-deprived and sustaining herself on whatever junk food the vending machines offer. He takes a tentative step towards the revolving doors, if for no other reason than to get out of this cold. It’s October, but Seoul is unnaturally windy for this time of the year. The clouds have been a consistent grey, with no sight of the sun for a consecutive four days now, while the wind blows bitingly. All in all, the city is a dismal sight.

“Are you looking for something?”

Seokjin turns to be faced with a man in light blue scrubs, maybe an inch taller than him and around the same age. He has a hoodie bunched up in one hand and a half-eaten granola bar in the other, his hair cut neatly and in contrast to the shadowy stubble on his face. Seokjin feels a pang of sympathy for him, for his general demeanour gives him the same vibe that Nari usually has - exhausted, yet ready to work at a moment’s notice.

“Oh, um -” He looks in through the glass doors and decides he’d be better off asking. “Yeah, I’m looking for - for Dr Choi. Do you know her?”

The doctor raises his eyebrows and takes another bite of his granola bar. “Which Dr Choi?” he asks through a mouthful, looking only vaguely apologetic. “We have, like, eight of them.”

“Oh. Choi Nari. I don’t know if you -”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, she was in surgery - but she must be done by now,” he answers, nodding. “Dr Nam was the lead surgeon in it and he’s - oh, he’s right there,” he adds, pointing at an elderly doctor in scrubs and a cap inside the lobby, talking to a family of two women and three children.

“Great. Thanks, um…” Seokjin bites his lip.

“Jason.” The doctor flashes him a smile and bows slightly. “I work with Nari, so… good to meet her friend.”

“Seokjin. Likewise.”

Jason - for that does seem to be his name - gives him a good-natured nod and heads into the hospital, while Seokjin checks his phone to see one unanswered message.

Nari [15:17]

Gimme a minute, almost there

Sent two minutes ago, Seokjin sighs in relief and leans against the pillar next to him, waiting for Nari to arrive. She does, less than a minute later, jogging out of the doors while pulling a pink striped cardigan over her scrubs. Her hair is in a ponytail with loose strands falling messily on the sides of her face.

“Can we please sit outside?” she pleads before he can even get a word out, grabbing his arm and continuing on her way. “I’ve been in the ER for hours before getting pulled into surgery - haven’t seen the sun in nearly twenty-four hours.”

“Well, you aren’t going to see any out here either. But alright,” he adds, slowing down and gesturing to one of the benches outside.

“Fresh air will work, too,” she decides, letting go of him and tilting her face up to the sky dramatically. “Ah, mowed grass and pollution, what would I do without you?”

“I got you strawberry ice cream,” says Seokjin, retrieving the cup from the bag he’s holding. “Is that okay?”

Her face snaps down to his and she reaches for it eagerly. “It’s perfect,” she notes approvingly, squeezing his shoulder in gratitude and taking a seat next to him, folding one leg underneath her. She takes a bite and sighs. “God, that’s good. Thanks, Kimbap.”

“No need to thank me. But it’s freezing; who the hell eats ice cream in this weather?”

“Isn’t that an ice cream I see in your hand?”

Seokjin, just about to open his own cup, continues without skipping a beat. “Well, obviously I would want a bite but I didn’t know if you’d be in the mood to share. That’s right,” he adds when she raises her eyebrows in amusement, “I know you.”

She chuckles. “Only because I haven’t eaten anything in about eight hours apart from a packet of chips.”

He clicks his tongue, taking a bite of his own vanilla ice cream and shivering. “You should’ve told me that. I would’ve picked you up some actual food, you heathen.”

“Sorry, dad.” Nari scoops a particularly large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, chewing serenely. “How was last night? Did you even go finally?”

He winces. “Yeah, I had to. Figured I’d stop by for about an hour, get a drink and get the hell out of there,” he says, referring to a Big Hit launch party for another artist. “In fact, even Jungkook and Yoongi ended up leaving with me. I think Taehyung stayed the longest - and Namjoon, of course. It was…” He shakes his head. “... way too loud.”

She snickers. “I figured. I came out of one patient’s room to see some thirty messages from you in the span of fifteen minutes.”

“And yet, I received not one reply until hours later.”

“I was at the hospital, saving lives,” she informs him, poking his shoulder. “What were you doing, Kimbap?”

“I was trying not to kill myself, so I guess I was also saving a life.”

Chuckling, she sneaks a bite of his vanilla ice cream, ignoring his dramatic protests. “When’s your next flight? It must be a long one to, uh…” She frowns. “... I want to say Mexico?”

“Not even a little close. We’re here for two more days, but tomorrow we’re filming and after that we have a day to pack and stuff before we head to Europe again. And then the US?” He shrugs. “I dunno, who can keep track, right?”

“Of course. I’m sure famous schedules have famous people behind the schedules.”

“That’s right. They tell us what to pack for, and Namjoon elaborates.” Seokjin shudders. “Christ, you couldn’t pay me in gold to be the leader.”

“He must be happy, though.”

“Namjoon? Is he ever?”

She slaps his shoulder, snorting. “I meant, because you’re going to Europe. Doesn’t his girlfriend live there? What’s her name… uh, K-Kaya?” She waits for him to nod. “A silver lining, no?”

“I don’t think so,” he answers. The wind blows her short ponytail towards her face and he twists it out of her spoon’s way just in time. “We’re going to France and Italy, so not anywhere near the Netherlands. And just for a week.” He hesitates. “Also… they broke up.”

Nari chokes, eyes widening mid-bite. “What?” When he simply nods conspiratorially, she falls silent for a moment. “But - I thought you said they were, like… soulmates or something.”

“Yeah, well, apparently long distance can break up even the strongest of soulmates eventually.”

“Wow. Is he - how’s he doing? Wait - did you say he was at the party last night?”

Seokjin gives her a look. “Well, yeah. It’s Namjoon; he’s not going to not work because of a break-up. Which, ironically, is why they broke up.”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, I’m guessing.”

“You -” Nari frowns, momentarily lost for words. “What do you mean? He didn’t tell you?”

“Not really. He just told me they broke up. I don’t even think he’s told anyone else.” Seokjin bites his lip as she nods, recalling Namjoon’s stoic, unsmiling face at the party last night. He’d forced expressions onto it, but carefully looked none of the older members in the eye, something that only happened when he was feeling vulnerable.

“Shit. Must be hard.” She sighs, reaching for the last of her ice cream.

“Mhm. Actually,” he adds, remembering a rather important detail, “he didn’t even really tell me they broke up. I guessed it?” He nods in understanding at Nari’s confused expression. “And he didn’t deny it. He just changed the subject. Hence proved.”

“That sounds science-y.”

“Doing the best I can. If it’s true, it really sucks,” he says, genuinely sympathetic for his friend. “She was good for him.”

“Yeah, you made them sound like something out of a k-drama.”

“That’s what it sounded like,” argues Seokjin. “Strangers first, bumping into each other on the streets of Seoul, falling in love over… you know.” He makes a vague motion with his hands. “Artsy stuff.”

Nari bites her lip thoughtfully. “So… I guess you could say they’re Seoul-mates.”

There’s a pause before Seokjin snorts and chokes on his ice cream, shoulders shaking with laughter. Next to him, Nari grins at his reaction before shaking her head. “Come on, don’t laugh, Kimbap,” she says admonishingly. “Your friend is in pain, you know.”

“No, no, we shouldn’t - we shouldn’t laugh…” Straightening up, he shakes his head at her, still chortling.

After a moment, she continues. “Wasn’t she here really recently, though?”

“Not recently. I guess the last time she was here was in…” Seokjin frowns as he tries to remember, and his heart skips a beat a fraction of a second before he realises why.

“In?”

“Um, April. The day… the day you crashed your car.” He notes how she freezes momentarily before nodding and looking up at him, lips pursed to stop an automatic smile.

“Right. The day you had to pick me up.”

“The day I made you the best jajangmyeon ever.”

“The day I spent all night complaining about my idiot neighbours.”

“Eventful day, huh?” Seokjin finally chuckles and Nari laughs as well, and he settles back onto the bench a bit more comfortably.

“You know, about that night,” she begins, finishing the last of her ice cream, “can I just say I’m glad we never got awkward about it?”

“What are you talking about? You sneaked out before I woke up.”

“I was on call, Seokjin,” she says for what feels like the tenth time, rolling her eyes. “There was a bus crash and all the patients were brought to the hospital. It was all hands on deck.”

“Oh, so a busload of injured civilians were more important than me. I see how it is.”

She nudges his shoulder playfully. “Anyway. Good to know it hasn’t changed anything. I was a bit worried, to be honest.”

Seokjin simply nods in answer, privately agreeing. The first thing he’d thought when he’d woken up that morning to an empty bed was that he’d fucked everything up. He’d hastily pulled on his pajamas and waded through his empty apartment with a mild hangover and bedhead, until he’d thought to check his phone where Nari had left a hasty message saying that she’d been called to the hospital.

His uneasiness had turned to worry in an instant, especially when he recalled how exhausted she’d been last night - and why. He’d finally decided to give her space, though, for that day at least. There was no telling how the aftermath would be and while his initial assumption was that nothing would really change, for they’d both been quite within their senses when they’d decided to have sex, he didn’t want to find out if something was wrong over text.

As it turned out, he hadn’t been able to speak to her until much later that day, when it was almost dinner time. Seokjin had been in the dorm with Jimin and Yoongi when she’d finally called him, and to his relief, she’d started talking to him just like she always had. She’d sounded absolutely exhausted and as though she’d been about to cry, moving from surgery to surgery, having lost a patient and delivered the bad news to the family. She hadn’t said it, but he was sure she hadn’t had a single decent thing to eat all day.

Seokjin hadn’t known what to say; conversations like this weren’t frequent but they weren’t rare either, and all he could think to do at the moment was move to a different room and just stay on the phone until she’d let everything out.

“I can’t stay here tonight,” she’d sniffled at the end. “I need to be out of these four walls.”

“Come over,” he’d said at once. “I’ll make you bibimbap.”

It hadn’t been until then that he’d remembered what had transpired last night and he’d held his breath, wondering if he’d suddenly made it awkward. But Nari had simply murmured a “thanks, Jinnie,” before having to leave, and he’d bid goodbye to his friends before returning to his apartment. She’d arrived at his place over an hour later, looking like hell. It was clear she’d been trying not to cry, and Seokjin had suggested for her to take a shower while he got dinner ready.

It was nothing new, and she’d emerged with wet hair and a hoodie of his. She’d wolfed down the bibimbap while he turned on the television and had fallen asleep within minutes with her head on his shoulder. It had, for the first time all day, stirred a similar kind of affection for her that he’d felt the previous night. But he hadn’t let himself dwell on it; gently waking her up, he’d led her inside. After a split second decision, he’d steered her into his own bedroom and tucked her in, joining her later with a respectable distance between them.

After that, their dynamic had come back on track. That night wasn’t ignored but it wasn’t focused upon either, and somehow, Seokjin and Nari had gone back to normal.

When he spots a couple of young people wearing similar scrubs to Nari’s going over to the coffee cart outside the hospital doors, he remembers something. “Also - who’s Jason?”

“Jason Derulo?”

Seokjin stares. “Yes, Jason Derulo. Jesus, Nari,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I’m talking about your doctor friend.”

“Oh. Kwon Jason. Sorry, my brain is barely working today,” she adds, and Seokjin apologetically pinches her cheek. “He’s one of the residents who got transferred when the hospital merged with Seoul Presbytarian. He’s nice,” she says after a moment. “He brings me coffee every morning.”

“Does coffee trump ice cream?”

“Depends on what day it is.” When Seokjin chuckles, she shakes her head. “He’s the only one out of the Seoul Pres residents I actually like. And since most of my original class got fired… it’s really just me and him.”

He frowns. “Wait, Hayoon got fired?”

“Yeah,” she says heavily. “It’s okay; she’s a good surgeon. She’ll find another job, but…” She shrugs, looking tired again, but still gives him a small smile. “It’s always hard. The hospital becomes kind of like your home, you know? And your colleagues become your friends. Really good ones.”

Seokjin nods, wondering how he’d missed something this big in her life. Or not wondering, really - he knows. Schedules aren’t the easiest to deal with, and neither of them are people who tend to spend hours on the phone.

“By the way,” he says after a moment, nudging her gently, “my brother’s getting married next month.”

“Oh, right.” She pauses, chuckling dryly. “Asking me to be your date?”

Seokjin freezes momentarily, with a sense of foreboding. “Not exactly. I mean,” he backtracks hastily, “we could go as - as friends, if you want.”

She shrugs. “Why would I? I’ve got my own invite,” she says teasingly. “You’re bringing a date, though? Oh, what about Ryujin?”

“Ryujin?”

“Yeah. Short hair, lived down the block. Your girlfriend?”

Seokjin frowns incredulously. “Does time pass differently inside that hospital? You know we broke up, like, two years ago?”

“Hasn’t it been about eight months?”

“Right. Same thing.” He sighs hugely, stretching his legs. “I don’t know. It’s not really customary to bring your ex-girlfriend to your brother’s wedding.”

“Yeah, but you guys didn’t really break up,” she reasons. “You just sort of… fizzled out. It may not be that weird.” She shrugs. “What even happened there? You never really told me.”

“Yeah, because there was nothing to tell,” he says honestly. “It actually just fizzled out.”

“Hm.” She nods thoughtfully for a moment. “You guys were cute. Seokjin and Ryujin. She was one of your girlfriends I liked.”

“Really?” He shifts to turn towards her. “Who were the others?”

“Um… the one you dated in freshman year of college? The cute one with the bangs?”

“Well, that narrows it down.”

“Shut up. My point remains,” she reminds him, “I like Ryujin.”

“Please.” Seokjin scoffs. “You got so annoyed every time she wore those low-waisted jeans, you always -”

“Okay, no, that wasn’t a Ryujin problem, that was a low-waisted jeans problem,” she corrects him firmly, holding up a finger. “I can’t stand them, okay? It always looks like they’re about to fall off and I get stressed because I just want to pull them up and I’ll have to lunge to do it, and then I’ll trip,” she finishes.

He nods thoughtfully and pats her shoulder. “Let’s not talk about this. It upsets you too much.”

“It does.” Nari mirrors his position and nudges his foot. “So? Will you ask her?”

“What? No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Is it really? Because you two might be the most friendly exes ever.”

Seokjin sighs, for she’s right. He’s never been the type to hold a grudge and in Ryujin’s case, there was no grudge to even speak of. She’d gone to their high school, too, had been a part of their neighbourhood growing up and when Seokjin had asked her out at a common friend’s birthday, it had been easy and uncomplicated - as had the break up six months later. The chemistry had been limited and not everyone was made to date an idol, and they’d ended things just as amicably as they’d begun.

But taking her to his brother’s wedding? Highly unnecessary.

“I can just go there single, you know. Like you,” he points out.

“Of course, you can. And then all the women there who’ve been after us since high school can come over to ask us in those annoying, simpering voices why we aren’t dating yet,” she reminds him with the air of a student who’s answered a question correctly.

Seokjin swears. “God, no. You think they will?”

“They did the last time, at my parents’ anniversary party.”

Seokjin shudders and closes his eyes, knowing she’s right. He can’t possibly risk that; their thankfully normal relationship, while easy for the time being, needs just one badly placed comment to unravel. However, he also doesn’t see how he and Nari going together is any better; in fact, there’s just the smallest chance it might even give Nari the wrong idea.

In the face of the grey sky, Seokjin’s eyes snap open. Could it be? Could that really be the reason she wants to go together? It immediately makes his heart skip an uncomfortable beat, and Ryujin suddenly seems like a really good idea.

As if on cue, Nari groans from beside him. “God, a wedding. If I go alone, I’m going to have to sit next to my mother, and listen to her rattle off the name of every single man over there before she starts going over and setting up dates for me.” She shakes her head tiredly and drops her head on his shoulder. “If we go together, at least I avoid that.”

Oh. That’s why.

It definitely makes more sense, for if there’s one thing Nari would go to any lengths to avoid, it’s her mother and her obsession with her daughter’s love life. But Seokjin still can’t shake the nagging thought that this could all be a very bad idea. She’s been dealing with her mother her whole life; she could certainly do it for one more afternoon, couldn’t she? If the alternative is ruining a lifelong friendship?

Seokjin bites his lip. “You know. You might just be right about Ryujin.” The words are out of his mouth before he can help it and he winces, realising belatedly that he could be coming across as extremely insensitive right now.

But Nari lifts her head up instantly and turns to him, eyes wide. “Really?” When he nods, she smiles and raises her eyebrows, apparently impressed. “Good for you, Kimbap. It’ll actually be good to see her again,” she adds, settling back into her original position.

“Yeah, I guess.” And it’ll be good to see us again, just as friends. A few seconds pass before he speaks again. “You really think I should call Ryujin up?”

As expected, she frowns, looking rather confused now. “You just said it would be good to see her again.” When he shrugs, she shrugs. “I mean… it’s up to you, really. Could be fun, but only if you’re comfortable.”

Seokjin nods, feeling slightly better. He looks up to see her staring at him. “... what?”

She gives him a rather obvious sort of look. “So? Are you going to call her?”

“What - now?”

“Yeah. Before I go back inside.” Nari pats his thigh impatiently. “I need my quota of actual human interaction and conversation before I go back inside and get into surgery for another six hours.”

“Nari, I’m not going to call her right now.”

“Why not?” she whines. “You don’t have to put it on speaker or anything. I’ll just sit here and watch you talk.”

“God, Nari, that is so weird.”

“Jesus, you’re right.” She sighs. “I’m sorry. It’s the lack of sleep. And being stuck in there with Dr Nam for a third of a day has just stripped me of my filter completely.”

He scoffs. “What filter?”

Nari laughs, nudging his shoulder. “God, you get me.” She drops her head into her hands and stifles a yawn. “Okay, I need to hydrate,” she mumbles, emerging after a moment. “No, wait - I have to be in surgery in an hour so I can't afford to have to pee in the middle of it… God, okay, I'm going to stock up on sugar, then," she decides, standing up and dusting herself off.

"Nari, don't you think you should have some real food?" Seokjin asks, hearing the disapproving tone in his own voice.

She raises an eyebrow at him. "Is that your way of saying you don't want a muffin?"

"I -" When she folds her arms across her chest, lips twisting in preemptive victory, he rolls his eyes. "Fine, fine, since you just won't let it go, I'll have a danish," he huffs.

"Predictable," she scoffs. "Cherry or blueberry?"

"Surprise me."

She grins. "Okay, then. I'm going to go over to the coffee cart all the way over there -" She makes a show of pointing out how far away it is "- so you can call Ryujin in total privacy."

"You are so annoying, I swear to God."

"I'm just trying to help. You need to know if she's coming so you can RSVP."

"It's my brother's wedding! I don't need to RSVP."

"Jinnie, please," she whines dramatically, apparently oblivious to how his stomach flips without warning. "This is the closest thing to entertainment I ever get. I don't watch TV, I don't listen to music and I -" She places her hands on her hips and sighs. "I have to go into surgery and stare into a person's gall bladder for the next six hours."

Seokjin gags. "You know what? I don't think I need that danish anymore."

"Okay, okay, I'm going," she says quickly, already taking a couple of steps back as he begrudgingly takes his phone out and tapping on Ryujin's name. It's just as well, he thinks as he places the phone to his ear and waves Nari off, for if it's left to him, he's never going to get around to it. He needs Nari to push him into it and if it works, if Ryujin says yes, he no longer needs to worry about anything putting his oldest friendship in jeopardy.

"Oh, wait!" Seokjin remembers something as the call connects. From a few feet away, Nari turns around.

"What?"

"If I go with Ryujin, who will you go with?"

She shrugs nonchalantly. "Alone? It's no big deal," she adds.

He winces theatrically. "But your mom?"

"I haven't annoyed her in ages," she says wryly. "That can be my human interaction for the day."

He chuckles as the phone rings, already rehearsing the words in his head. Hey, Ryujin. So… my brother's getting married next month. If you're not doing anything, do you want to go together? As friendly exes? That's the one where you try the dating thing and it doesn't work, but you fortunately end it just before it gets too awkward?

It's not bad. Short and simple, just enough to break the ice with an acquaintance. He looks up and watches Nari tie her hair before suddenly patting her pockets and spotting her phone next to him. He silently rolls his eyes at her and picks it up to give to her, pleasantly surprised at how much he's looking forward to talking to Ryujin after all this time.

"By the way, I just thought of something." Nari whispers loudly, chuckling, making him look up instantly. "If my mom becomes too much of a pain, I'll ask Jason to come with me. He's nice and doesn't have a life either, just like me. And that way you won't have to feel guilty," she adds earnestly.

"Jason?" Seokjin asks blankly.

"Yeah, you met him earlier, right?"

"Yeah, but -"

At that moment, the call clicks and a familiar voice comes through. "Hello?"

"Hi - hi, Ryujin," he stutters and in front of him, Nari's eyes widen and she silently waves to him before hurrying away, giving him a thumbs up as she does.

"Seokjin, hi."

It takes him a moment to respond. "Hey. How - how are you doing?"

"I'm good." She sounds familiar, if a little confused. After a moment, she continues. "What about you? How was your tour?"

Right. He'd gone on tour right after they'd ended things. "Oh, it was fine. Tiring," he adds. "We're going to Europe next week."

"That's cool. Paris again?"

"I wish." He nods, glad that the weird jumpiness in his voice has disappeared. "But I don't think the Louvre can handle that kind of boredom again."

Ryujin laughs and he feels a bit better. "So… what's going on?"

"Right." Seokjin bites his lip, the words suddenly hard to say aloud. But it's better this way. Establish boundaries, establish places, so everyone knows exactly where they belong. "I wanted to ask you something, if you're not - if you're not busy."

"Okay. Sure."

"Um, my brother's getting married next month."

"Oh, wow. That's great. Congratulate him for me."

"Uh, will do." He clears his throat and looks around, as though hoping for the words to pop up out of the ground. He turns slightly and spots Nari at the coffee cart, running a hand through her unwashed hair as she looks pensively into her phone while the barista heats up a danish. Her pink hoodie is a bright spot in the sea of sunless grey, and he thinks, once again, that she should really be eating a proper meal.

"Seokjin?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I wanted to ask, um…" If you would be my date to the wedding, so that my best friend and I aren't forced to go together and end up reliving moments from the one night we spent together that could unravel years of friendship.

"... if my blazer is still at your house?"

There's a moment of silence. "Your blazer?"

"Yeah," he answers tightly, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them with a sigh. "I'd worn it to our date at The Arches and I remember it being really hot…" He's rambling now, but it doesn't matter. "I think I took it off at your place when I dropped you back."

"Oh, right." It sounds like Ryujin's nodding, followed by some soft shuffling of sounds at her end. "It's here," she confirms. "Black with the grey lining, right?"

"That's the one."

"Okay. I have it, so you can come pick it up… whenever," she says, before pausing for a moment. "It's nice to hear from you, Jinnie."

Something churns uncomfortably in his stomach. "You, too." He means it, he does. "Bye, Ryujin. And thanks."

"Bye."

The call clicks and Seokjin slowly brings the phone down to his lap, refusing to think about what he's just done. There's really no need to needlessly complicate it, which is exactly the kind of thing thinking is bound to do. It is, quite possibly, what caused super genius Namjoon and his equally intelligent girlfriend to break up or whatever, he thinks forcefully. Nothing good can come of thinking.

"How did it go?"

Explaining, though. That's still left to do.

"Fine. I mean, not - not fine," he corrects himself, shifting slightly to let her sit down. The smell of freshly heated sugary bread wafts up but he enjoys it significantly less than he'd expected. "She's busy that day."

"Oh." Nari raises her eyebrows. "That's some schedule, being busy a month in advance. But," she adds, shrugging and folding her legs underneath her and tucking her hair behind her ears, "I don't have a life, so what do I know?"

"You and me both."

She hands him his danish, buttery and soft, placed on a paper plate. "You want to guess the flavour?"

His eyes flicker up towards her. "Um, I don't know. What flavour is yours?"

"Strawberry. Come on," she says after a moment. "You can get a bite of my muffin if you guess right," she offers.

Seokjin chuckles weakly, staring at the plate. It's better this way. He's a good friend, and he isn't about to abandon her to be harangued by her mother just because of his own tendency to overthink.

He looks up to see her waiting, her own muffin an inch away from her mouth. "Okay, so cherry usually has a redder tinge…"

Nari grins. "It does, huh?"

"Yeah, but blueberry is always bigger? I don't know, it feels like that…"

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to leave a review :)

#seokjin x oc #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic #btswritingcafe #ficscafe #thebtswritersclub #btshoneyhive #bangtanbathhouse #hyunglinenetwork #bangtaninn #bangtanwhq #52hertz #bts jin #bts jin fanfic

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spacelizzbian · 1 year

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Not me liveblogging the belgian national final (a few days too late even) but not esc 2021 or 2022 *clown noises* 🤡

Not a great start when one of the candidates sings Euphoria a bit off key 😬 (im so sorry Ameerah love u)

FUCK YES RYTHYM INSIDE

Loredana and Chérine slaying those vocals

This medley SLAPS 🔥🔥

The Nicole tribute was very heartwarming, love that they did that

"The act needs to be fresh and fruity" Sandra Kim said it needs to be gay, write that down

Hunter looks so adorable and happy to be there 💖

Pretty sure Laura Tesoro did the same penguin dance move in 2016 lmao, loved it then loved it now

Fuck the haters, Ooh la la is a bop 😤

Shame they didnt give him more dancers for such a funky song.

The audience going crazy for Chérine during her interview, as they should 😌

Naur Chérine, twas a bit off key near the end there 😬

The song is so so good and catchy but the act is a bit eehh. Certainly memorable though

Scorching hot take alert, but rollercoaster is so generic its painful

And it genuinly feels bad to say that cause it means so much to the singers

The staging was very on point tho

Love Ameerah's vibes, very mom friend who cares about all her lil kids

VRT: "How Eurovision do you want the costumes to be?"

Ameerah: "yes. "

There is so much energy and playfulness in this act, I love it!!

These dancers are giving a 110% props all around

Love that thid guy thing is wearing a silly big round hat and that he was like "I'm going to wear an even bigger one"

Frankly I want him to wear an even bigger one at the actual contest

The singing by Gustaph and his background ladies is superb

I'd add some dancers tho

Pretty sure this would't have been my pick but it's the least repetitive of the more pop-y songs so I think I get why this won

Omg Gala is wearing the fugly Santana fur hat 💀💀

Everything about this girl screams Artist(tm) but in the best way

This act and song is so intense and full of emotion, I didn't write any notes during it. Wow.

*Insert Lady Gaga meme here*

Please don't remind me that we didn't send 'She's after my piano' in 2014, I'll start biting

Loredana's outfit is giving me Chanel Slomo vibes 👌

The rorbot is so random I'm cackling lmao

I'm so sad the song is so weak cause I love Loredana's voice 😔

Lmao Nikki said the robot should have lifter her up, so true queen 😂😂

Never gonna forget the moment when Duncan sang his song in a concert full of Dutch people, this song is like crack to them

Gala and her cute frog knit hat Froche, my beloved

Fairytale is never gonna get old

These dancers are giving it their all, go off you possesed lil folk dancers 💃🕺💃🕺

I think my ranking'd be

1. Gala

2. Ameerah

3. Gustaph

4. Chérine

5. Hunter Falls

6. The Starlings

7. Loredana

Aight, voting time, time to get mad at the results like always 😌

Oh no, I'm agreeing with the jury votes...welp time to tyrade against the uncultured masses 😤

I like Gustaph enough to believe we have a shot of getting through to the finale, I wish all the luck to my fav hat of the night 💖

Also genuinely impressed by the show we put on, highkey regretting not going to it but oh well. I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I was gonna 🇧🇪

Anyway, shifting out of eurovision mode 😔 see you in may (if I'm liveblogging the actual thing lmao we'll see)

#im not watching the other NF i dont like knowing the songs in advance #only knowing what we're sending let's me live in flat hope ok #and hereby ends my short season of being annoying about eurovision to my friends 😌 (and you lot that follow me lmao)#anyway watch slomo by chanel on yt 💃🔥#esc 2023 #eurovision #belgium #national final #lizzz makes a post #long post

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doolkat · 3 years

Text

G5 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

My thoughts! (cute pic added so it wont be just boring text)

So I just saw the movie.

I been waiting for this ever since it was announced. I gotta say I was skeptical about it first but now Im like 'huh I see"

General : lighthearted movie with good music.

Plot : mediogre, I wanted to know more what happend!?

Questions :like SUNNYS DAD??? he died HOW??? HOW.. WHY WERE THE placements in his house..? Why did everyone start hating each other? What happend to Twilight and her friends?

Im sure everyones ASKING these question and I feel like movie should had covered this but maybe its a work for the show.

Thoughts : I really loved the animation! outstaniding and so many refernces and little clues every where that Im not sure I picked these up. So much to notice! The FREAKING pinup calender of Hitch.. GAY... and yeH This leads me to thibk that they are adults like in their 20s? like why else would there be that kind of joke or idk. After all Sunny lives alone too and Izzy? Also Sprout literally has the man child vibes so I doubt they are really young. Late teens at max I think! THE GUARDS were so cute and funny.Dont mind if i SHIP em lol. Also Sprout lowkey gay we all know that. Their worlds were really pretty and I liked how funny sterotypes they all had of each other. The music was so good. Sprouts song is the best!! The ending makes me think SUNNYS wings and horn arent permanent. They were see threw so yeah that wont be a thing in the show so I dont think non of us need to scream about that. Really have so much questions and movie answered so little that it makes me think what did the movie told us? I did really enjoy it but did it explain enough about their current world to us? No absolutely not!

Unicorn/Pegasi/Earth pony:

Another intresting thing to note is how unicorns who use to be higher class ones in g4 are now primitive nations. They live in woods and didnt seem to have any tehnology ? They seem to be like this "hipster" society that lives in woods and collect crysthals and read poems. Anything to just get their time off. Earth ponies have a powerful propaganda going on. A very dictatorship kind of way of thinking. They all work as a little town society like all the tribes but earth ponies propaganda to hate and be scared of unicorns and Pegasi seems much stronger. Their society seems to me like a little town community kind of. They have some technology- doesnt seem to have smartphones but they have movies and other things. Pegasi seems to be most obssed with tehnology and celerbtiy and gossip media. Much like canterlot use to be with lots celebrities and higher class ponies. I guess they just needed soemtjing cuz they lost their abilty to fly so they all came obssed with royal family and celebrities and gossip culture. What im saying each tribe had their own way of coping with things. To unicorns this seemed to be the most hurtful because they had no "fake" hope like the Pegasi had who thought royal family only could fly.

Characthers: Im gonna get hate for this but I really liked Sprout? like I know he is man baby but I thought the dictator ship kind ruling was pretty funny and well he just wanted to make his mom proud. I liked that his mom wasnt insane either? like she saw that the power was getting to his head. Speaking of moms Queen Haven is icon. I like her. She just likes glamour and camera. Nothing wrong with that. I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY HAD GOLDEN JAIL. Pegasi are clearly very wealthy. Zipp to me in this movie was the weakest characther? she barely had any moments of her own. Pipp had more mean energry than i thought like I thought she was gonna be literally like OMG SLAAAY QUEEN YASSS all the time but she gladly wasnt. Im looking forward more to see both of the sisters and their differnces. Kinda reminds me of me and my sister tbh one is all about fashion and expensive things in life and I am well.. I like more earthy things. So im lookin forward seeing those two interact the most.Hitch was pretty cool. He is like mix of applejack and fluttershy. I like him, not bad at all but very charming and clearly adored in town. Ok now the best SUNNY AND IZZY!! they are kinda... fruity hehzhejdjej I MEAN NOT STRAIGHT but also I love how I could see them as literally soulmates in friend way.. the latern thing.. that was so sniff.. I CRIED OK.. SHRED SINGLE TEAR. anywayd Im glad Izzy isnt RANDOM XD RAWR kinda pony I thought shed be. Will see how they are treated later. SUNNY is just precious also SOCIALIST AF.. bruh zjejs idk how I feel about that like she has that vibe love and tolerance to all but it could go so wrong. But Im glad she didnt loose optimism fully in end! She is previous.

The plot is how it is so ILL give this movie solid 8/10. Enjoyable!

Anyways in general I think the movie was good! Go watch it. if not for anything else then the visuals and songs are really good!

#my little pony g5 spoilers #my little pony g5 #g5 #my little pony new generation #my little pony generation 5 #my little pony #spoilers #G5 spoilers

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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kotlc crew + what they always order in starbucks

(cue me frantically googling the starbuck menu) You all keep picking topics I know nothing about it's impressive! That being said I honestly don't even remember the last time I actively saw a starbucks let alone went into one, let alone purchased anything. So please take all of this with a grain of salt :)

Sophie: Depends on how tired she is. Either a classic Hot Chocolate for the nostalgia and comfort, or a Cinnamon Dolce Latte becuase it seems like that's similar but has caffeine to fuel her through her sleep deprivation. and cake pops because I feel like she got them as a kid

Fitz: Dark Chocolate Mocha? It has this air of sophistication because it's dark chocolate but also still sounds less structured than a traditional coffee, if that makes sense. and fitz is regal but relaxed, you know? he also feels like a cinnamon coffee cake kind of person

Keefe: I don't know why but I feel like maybe a chai tea or chai tea latte? they're warm and nice and sweet based on what I remember of the homemade ones I've had, and they feel right for him. that and the marshmallow bars cause you know he is getting something sweet

Biana: Iced Matcha Tea latte could fit her. It's iced, which sounds bright, and for some reason she seems like someone who would like matcha. Or maybe a caramel macchiato? something fancy seems appropriate for her

Dex: He's surviving off of energy drinks--maybe the raspberry lime--and sweets. So many cake pops and sweets in general. Probably some parfaits slipped in there as well.

Marella: Something cold and fruity. I'm thinking strawberry cause we saw her enjoy strawberry flavored air once (book one I think), so the strawberry acai lemonade refresher? or a pink drink?

Linh: Some kind of refresher, perhaps? Either a dragonfruit or a kiwi starfruit one? and some kind of baked good to accompany it like a red velvet loaf or an almond croissant (other croissants work as well)

Tam: I do not know why but he gives me apple cider vibes, so either the caramel apple spice or steamed apple juice? or some kind of creamy warm coffee? Caffè misto perhaps? he also feels like a bagel person, but unsure which bagel type would be best.

Stina: Black coffee. What? Everyone else needs sugar and creams to dilute the flavor? they can't handle or appreciate the depth of the complexity of true coffee? pathetic. (she is secretly eating an iced lemon loaf with it)

Maruca: white chocolate mocha frappuccino, whatever that is. It sounds regal but also free and fun. It also sounds fancy and specific and those are traits I associate with her. It sounds like something "the popular girl" would order, and Maruca qualifies enough as one of those in my head that it makes sense to me.

Wylie: Whatever he's drinking he's got one of those old fashioned glazed donuts with it. Classic, reliable, sweet and with a good texture. Maybe he gets one of the hot breakfasts as well, like the spinach/feta/egg wrap. Something savory. A tea to go with it probably? what about the honey citrus green tea?

Jensi: he ate the entire bakery that's why he's Like That (brownies and a blended strawberry lemonade)

all of these food items were taken from the starbucks website, so there may be seasonal drinks or other common ones that could fit characters that I don't know about! but these were all based on general vibes and the limited knowledge I have of starbucks drinks, so feel free to suggest alternatives!!

and also thank you for the prompt nonsie, it's always fun to look at characters through new lenses like this!

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #the kotlcrew #kotlc characters as #nonsie #i do not know what half the things I listed are #I just looked at the pictures #someone who drinks coffee feel free to give input #i think the last time I got anything from starbucks was over 2 years ago on a roadtrip #and I got a refresher. I always get one of those #but my point is my starbucks knowledge is abysmal

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shepherds-of-haven · 3 years

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Hello dear author, please give us some noble life lore: like "(chapter 6) she's wearing a different perfume from yesterday's [...] You wonder if it means anything, the way fans or colors do." well? does it mean anything? and if so, what do different scents mean? (like citrus-y and herbal in the chapter because lavi is ready to fight a bitch and get to work/investigating or...?) and colors if it's not too much ? thks!

Hi, thanks for your question! There's a lot to unpack about aristocratic culture in Blest, probably way too much for me to attempt it here... I'll try and talk about perfumes for now, though!

Flowers are extremely important to nobles, both in their color, type, and scent. Sending specific floral arrangements to people--be they friends, admirers, or enemies--can have extremely pointed messages. Wearing specific colored flowers can, too. This applies to perfumes and scents as well--the scent of jasmine means something very different from the scent of rose--but I'm not going to get into the absolute specifics today, just the general outline of things!

In the broadest sense:

Single Floral (perfumes and scents dominated by a single flower): these vary in meaning depending on the flower scent itself; for example, a jasmine scent might imply jealousy and the need to watch yourself, while gardenia in the afternoon is for tea (gardenia at night is intentionally confusing); lily of the valley means someone's out for blood, but this is rarely used because people don't like to advertise that feeling for maximum effect. :)

Floral Bouquet: this is the most common type of perfume for most, and heirs and heiresses can sometimes pay exorbitant amounts to develop signature blends and scents that allow people to identify them as individuals. (For example, Lady Summerfield, Lavinet's friend, is famous for her signature scent, the formula of which is a carefully-kept secret: no one even knows the perfumer who developed it. Connoisseurs have detected notes of posies, pears, rose, gardenia, and bergamot, but the exact composition is unknown.) These tend to be more identifying flavors than particular meanings or messages, but not always; and when they do have messages, they're obviously more multi-faceted and layered than the single flower perfumes.

Fruity: a fairly common subclass of scent, fruity smells tend to be mixed with floral scents and are almost always sweet. Depending on the fruit used as the head note, the meanings can vary. Sometimes there's a conveyance of coyness; other times it's a sweet innocence (such as visiting a suitor whose advances you're pretending not to notice as a subtle hope that they'll go away or understand the rejection--kind of like deliberate friendzoning?? like hey you might think this is a date but I think it's just an outing between friends!!); many times it's an invitation, whether romantic or sexual or platonic, depending on the situation and scent. Fruit scents are worn exclusively during the day.

Amber: these tends to be the scents around casinos and game parlors, consisting of notes such as ambergris, vanilla, incense, wood, and occasionally smoke. Amber scents are almost always connotations of wealth and power, and therefore are common to wear to business meetings and situations where rivals are present. Wearing amber scents to a meeting of friends is considered sort of strange and alienating, whereas wearing them to social occasions like parties can be seen as either boastful or attractive. Amber also tends to connotate luck.

Woody: these tend to be scents with head or heart notes such as sandalwood, cedarwood, vetiver, patchouli, and others. Woody scents and perfumes are not common among nobles around the Central Territories or the South, but become slightly more common the more North you go (still fairly rare). They're more common among the upper/upper-middle class, but when worn among nobles, they tend to give vibes of "I'm just chilling, let's be calm or leave me alone"--sort of like a submissive display, to indicate they're not looking for trouble.

Leather: these tend to be scents such as honey, tobacco, tar, wood, fire, or leather, and these can have a variety of meanings depending on the context. Sometimes it's like "I'm tryna fuck tonight and it's going to be nasty, dirty sex, not sweet romance" or it can be like "I'm out for blood" or even "stay farrr away from me if you're the one who pissed me off because I'll cut you". Leather scents are worn exclusively at night, and rarely.

Chypre: this is a hard class of scents to describe - these tend to be fresh citrus scents mingled with softer, darker notes like oakmoss, patchouli, musk, or bergamot?? A white tea sage or a green tea bergamot blend might be considered chypre. Chypre scents tend to be friendly but not necessarily as alluring or inviting as floral scents like rose. They may be worn to occasions like baby showers, birthday parties with close friends, or graduation events. Depending on the scent blend, though, they can also mean different things.

Herbal: these are sharper herbaceous scents than chypre, with scents like lavender, grass/moss, or coumarin (similar newly-hewn hay). There can also be citrus smells like orange or lemon, but herbal scents are generally considered "green." Herbal scents used to indicate a level of boldness or scrutiny (you would wear one while going to see Lady Isolde in her parlor, to indicate that you're either watching her or that you won't back down). Famously, an aristocrat wore an herbal scent called Brute to their trial, so it's become popular to wear the same scent to either proclaim innocence or unapologetically acknowledge fault (like "yeah I did that, and I'm not sorry about it!")

I will say that colors often do mean things to other aristocrats, whether in a fashion and aesthetic sense or as a message to others--like wearing a red dress or outfit after a breakup is a big "fuck you" to your ex while wearing anything with a yellow sash indicates "hey I'm respectfully not dating anyone for X amount of time out of respect for my ex but I am also interested in someone here and am totally down to pound if you're willing to wait"--but it also varies by region and local court culture, so there isn't a universal template there!

Thanks for your question!

#Shepherds of Haven #perfume #scent #scents #smell #smells #cologne #worldbuilding #fashion

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lupawolff · 2 years

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I just finished stranger things season 4 and oh do I need to ramble. Zero clue how long this'll be but I don't really care and this probably won't be the end of the rambles either.

Man's instantly fell for our pretty blonde haired man. And oh turns out he's the big bad, I have a track record at this point of falling for villains/assholes. I was shocked to find out he was the little boy. I was curious why the little boy didn't like scream or have a reaction at the dinner table as his mother fuckin died. Just to turn out he did it, what a sick little whackdoo. Man's had a whole ass hunch he was number 1 and I was rightttt.

Will byers, first off I love him. But you can't tell me he isn't a flavor of queer. This season just really smacked us with it even more then last season. The yearning looks he was giving Mike. No best friend does that unless you're fruity. Like will has to be gay for all those smitten looks he was given. Eyes always on mike in certain scenes like huhh. If he isn't gay but some fuckin chance, he better be some form of aro ace cause that just feels right for his character too. Explains why we never seen him express any sort of attraction towards anyone, girl or boy. Like it totally fits except for those damn looks he gives mike. ALSO what's the drawing my boy, wanna share with the class?? It was so important you took it with you when you fled the house.

Joyce anytime she said she has 3 kids, like yes you do girlie thank you. Or when will or Jonathan mention, el as a sister. I will die for found families any day of the week omfg.

I feel so bad for chrissy and fred. I was generally really liking fred. Something about his little nerdy self spoke to me. Then chrissy poor girl, her mom is a total bitch. She deserves so much, she shouldn't have to worry about her weight like that.

Steve and Robin the dynamic duo, yes please. I loved the whole boobie scene and the Tessa muppet one. Really just shows their friendship and I adore it. Steve the entire season was just so ready to beat the shit out of something. The oar thing to I thought was hilarious. When we first see him with it, he has to drop it because eddy boy is ready to go rabid. Then we get to see him actually use it against the weird tentacle bats. I was just happy to see him actually use it and go ham, like yes you deserve this. Robin and her rambling is the best thing. Girlie just keeps going, number one fear is rabies followed up by earthquakes. SHES A BAND GAY, that shit had me cackling. Her style is amazing, I want to dress like her. The jacket alone is epic. Just a gay and their himbo.

Lucas babe, I'm sorry I doubted you there for a second. I'm pretty sure the whole group said high school was gonna be different and they wanted to be different going in. He just wanted to be popular and not bullied.

Dustin is such a good detective/theorist it's unbelievable. I love that kids mind. Him and Steve are truly brothers.

El and Mike better figure their shit out. Honestly hope they break up because their relationship is falling apart. Like I understand that the distance probably has something to do with it. But the lack of communication and just in general them. It's giving me andi and jonah from andi mack type vibes. Like neither knows what they really want, it's like their together still just to be together. I'm not saying that they don't love each other I guarantee they do, it's just that things have changed. Whether it's the distance, growing up, or anything else. Feelings change over time, them being together feels dragged out. They should just be friends for now, things could change in the future that's fine. But for now they're better off as friends.

#stranger things #stranger things season 4 #rambles #im so gay for robin omfg #sometimes a guys gotta talk about their interest #or they might implode cause their life partner has not a single clue what they're talking about #stranger things spoilers

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zensstrawberry · 4 years

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cuddling hcs for the mystic messenger pals !!

zen

manly man likes whenever you lay on his chest

he likes when you rest your head on there and he’ll curl his arms and legs around you so he can protect you from everything 🥺✌🏻

he’ll also run his fingers over your arms and back when you’re laying down with him

he’ll talk if you want him to, but he prefers to cuddle + sleep

he’ll also give lil kissies to your head

again, he likes silence, but if you’re having trouble sleeping he’ll sing u to sleep

his chest vibrating as he tries to keep his volume low

he also likes when you swing over your legs over his and he’ll intertwine with u 🥺❤️💓✌🏻😳

the experienced cuddler, very good

smells like leather and wood!! manly man🥺

yoosung

wants to be big spoon so bad!!!

any spooning postition, he likes to be big spoon

kisses your neck while you talk about your day

he really likes your voice in general so any time you talk he’ll put his arms around your waist, even standing up, and sway you guys slowly back in forth

please please please kiss his eye or his eyelid

he jus melts

he’s so lucky to just be in your presence

he’s apart of the cuddles while doing something else club

like come lay on his lap while he plays lolol, or while he’s studying, lean on his shoulder or let him rest in between your legs

he smells like powdered donuts and fresh bread!! idk i get that vibe

jaehee

PLEASE LET THIS WOMAN SLEEP

oh god please

drag her to bed and hold her hand while she sleeps do it do it

she’s a bit shy at the beginning, so cuddling is just holding hands while sleeping or resting on the others shoulder

but now

it’s tangling any of each other’s limbs together and resting next to each others neck

she smells SO GOOD

coffee and warm smells

you guys usually just sleep when cuddling because let’s be honest jaehee needs it

jumin

lay on top of him. and don’t let go.

that’s how he likes it

he likes to lay with you while talking

he mostly likes when you talk about your day because he wants to keep up with you

but the convos usually go to business or his dad or whatever’s cool with jumin at the moment

of COURSE elizabeth joins in

squeezing between y’all

please don’t crush her hehe

he smells like expensive cologne or like any good herbal tea

seven

please hold this man !! do it

bury your face in his hair and hold him to your chest

he need sleep!!

it’s going to take him a while to cuddle and open up

but after he does

not a day goes by without him in your arms !!

sometimes he forgets to take off his glasses like a dumbass so please take them off for him

sometimes you can only cuddle when he’s working so you kinda have to just settle for that

i think he worked on a little robot that looks like a cat that can cuddle with you when he’s out on missions

he obviously smells like honey buddha chips and dr pepper- but!! after he showers he uses a fruity shampoo so he smells like fresh fruit !!

requests : open !

masterlist

#mm x reader #mystic messenger #mystic messenger x mc #zen x mc #zen x reader #mystic messenger x reader #yoosung x mc #yoosung x reader #jaehee x mc #jaehee x reader #jumin x mc #jumin x reader #707 x mc #707 x reader

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too! i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me. i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo!

Part I - At least one fake rs!

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay. Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything! We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another. cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them? Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March? Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship? Perhaps! Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach. The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there! Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating? Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay. Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists. Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues. I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes! It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019. They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos. I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married. All jokes aside this is fruity behavior.

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn! It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe. Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia? (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened. And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs. Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women. Is she gay? I don’t know! But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think? Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni. Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

#selena gomez #gaylena #taylena #gossip #cara delevingne #julia michaels #lesbian #sapphic #of interest #taylor's fruity friends

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onelastbreath-writes · 3 years

Text

I Spy

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales/Fem!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Brief mention of bad(abusive/manipulative) parents, general adult topics, swearing.

Summary: You meet a cute guy at a bar, you date, you fall in love, and oops, it turns out you’ve both been lying about your careers. Classified only stays classified until you get assigned a mission together. (SpecOps&Spies, with Young!Frankie)

A/N: Hey guys, I was bad and started another fic. Whoops. This one is for Triple Frontier because I love that soft boi Francisco. The flavour of this fic, the vibe if you will, is basically the spiderman pointing meme. I’ve vaguely set the timeline to like mid-2000s? so I’ll be trying my best to stay true to technology and aesthetic of the era. There was so much denim. Anyways, that means I’m trying to write for about a 27-33 year old Frankie and a similarly aged reader. I don’t see this series being more than a couple chapters at best, so it’ll be short and sweet. Also, like, very little angst if I can help it; I just want this one to be a good, cute, fun read. Hope y’all enjoy! Xoxo

[AO3][Masterlist]

“So, you’re coming out tonight, right? You’re not busy or anything?”

“Please don’t say it like that, you know how busy work actually is. And I’m a grown woman; if I didn’t want to go to a shady dive bar with you and your very loud friends from the office, I’d say so,” You loved your best friend, and you missed spending time together, but you really couldn’t say the same for her co-workers.

You had nothing against the women she worked with, and you found that they were all perfectly lovely and usually quite fun to be around… it was just that when the alcohol came out, the volume control and verbal filters disappeared.

You wouldn’t say that barhopping was what you’d prefer to be doing tonight, along with more or less babysitting your friend and her friends, but you didn’t know when you’d next be able to squeeze in a night off to just hang out and have fun, so this was happening. You would laugh and smile and keep the drunk secretaries from going home with questionable people, and then you would look back on your ladies’ night with fond memories until you could eventually attend another.

You had known when you picked your career that it would be an around-the-clock, all-day, every-day sort of thing. You never deluded yourself into thinking you would have much of a social life or long-term relationships. Most partners, hell even most friends, would have a problem with you jetting off for weekends, or disappearing for days at a time under mountains of paperwork and appointments.

It just made your best friend that much more important to you. You’d met as kids, went through years of school beside each other, hung out, did stupid teenager things and then stupid young adult things together. You’d cried and laughed and fought and made up a million times, you’d gone to different colleges and still kept in touch, moved away, moved back, and you were still going strong. She was your ride-or-die, your anchor and your parachute and everything in between, so if you could use some of your precious, hoarded, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it time off to see her, that’s just what you’d do.

“You should take some of that fire, and direct it at your boss. Tell him no for a change. I’d love to see his face at that!” She meant well, always trying to look out for you and your health when it came to your beyond demanding job. You weren’t even allowed to tell her a fraction of what you were doing in your professional life, and she knew it, but that didn’t stop her from being ready to throw fists at your employer at a moment’s notice.

“One does not simply tell the über-rich that they don’t need to fly to Paris, again. Being a PA is a full-time nannying gig, except your charge is an adult who can argue when you say no, and you cannot put them on timeout when they’re being a brat. Where he goes, I go, and unless something drastic happens, it will probably continue on like that for a while.” She laughed at your jokes, and your heart hurt a little less at her glee. You knew she would never give up on you or blame you for your work being unpredictable, but that didn’t make the sting of last-minute cancels and missed outings hurt any less, for either of you.

“But it must be nice, just getting on a plane and going somewhere amazing at the drop of a hat. Travelling the world like a superstar, meeting people, having amazing adventures with mysterious strangers…”

“Easy there, Mamma Mia, your wanderlust is showing. And I’d take you with me in a heartbeat if I could. You were born to be a jetsetter, not to be stuck in this town with nothing but the office cubicle beside you to stare at. And I still think you should apply for one of those immersive culture grants you keep mooning over. They’d be fools not to fund your writing expedition!” She was an incredible person, three full degrees to her name in the time it took a normal student to get one, and a brain that could run miles around the rest of the professionals in her field. But she was tethered to this quiet backwater town, and she wasn’t free to fly like she deserved.

“You know I can’t just… go, like you can. My mom, it’d just break her heart… I don’t want to leave her alone, not after Dad,” You honestly doubted that you’d ever meet a woman more horrible and undeserving of her own daughter’s kindness. Helen was a parasite full of lies and manipulations and greed, and she had attached herself like a bad rash to your friend after she’d chased away the rest of her family members.

Your friend searched for the good in everyone, but you wished she’d stop looking for it at that home.

“You deserve your own happiness and freedom, and she should be encouraging you to spread your wings if and when you’re ready.” Politicking your friend was never something you enjoyed. She was the last person you wanted to use your negotiating credentials and sly subterfuge tactics against, but you wanted, needed, her safety and health more. You considered it almost bribery; dangling her dream future in front of her in exchange of being rid of the garbage in her life.

“Hey now, we’re getting way too deep into sad-drunk night conversations, and this is strictly a happy-fun-drunk night. Please leave all baggage and woes at the door, thank you!” You admitted your defeat and surrendered your verbal power point on Why Helen Needs to Disappear. You would get her next time for sure, give her the accelerant to burn down that bridge. “Anyways, the reason I called was to remind you of our haunt for the night. One of the girls, Kelly, you remember Kelly, found this adorable little hole in the wall. A total boys’ club apparently: darts, pool, sports games on the TV, but Kelly’s sister’s friend’s brother Tyler said the place was a favourite of the local army guys. So, if nothing else, we’ll at least have some hunks to look at for a while. It’ll be great!”

You jotted down the directions to the bar as she listed them, and the time you were expected to arrive there.

“Oh! And wear that cute little blue number you bought last spring; I know you still have it so don’t you dare lie. It makes your ass and legs look divine, and I think you could stand to make a new acquaintance tonight.” That Little Blue Number was buried in the back of your closet where you had hoped it would remain forever, but luck was not on your side tonight it seemed. But it did make you look, and feel, fantastic. It was just so… breezy. “And heels! Real ones, not your cute little personal assistant kitten heels. Those black strappy ones would work like a dream!” You just sighed dramatically into the receiver and agreed to her demands.

“I’ll let you go now, and yes, I suppose I can be presentable tonight, dress and all. See-ya later!”

---

Hole in the wall was right. This place was basically underground it was so on the D.L. It was warm inside though, and in the middle of autumn with so much skin on display, you could not be more pleased to get away from the chilled outside air.

You would describe the interior as comfortable with a hint of rustic; lots of warm dark wood and low lights, mixed with the soft Latin music crooning in the background and the few patrons’ conversations adding to the ambience.

All in all, it was probably the nicest dive bar you’d been to in your hometown.

Your party was easy to spot where they had claimed a group of pushed together tables towards the far side of the establishment, and you carefully made your way over to them in your tricky high heels.

You said your hellos to returning faces and introduced yourself to the new additions, and accepted the chair you were pointed to and the drink pressed into your hand.

And so, the hours rolled.

You had enjoyed two fruity cocktails and a flaming shot before you called it quits on the alcohol for the night. You still had a few hours to sober up enough to drive home safely, and you would be able to help the girls get to their rides and ways home too. You appreciated having a social drink or two, but you didn’t care for hangovers and would happily take slightly tipsy over party-hard drunk anytime. Plus, your contract stated you were on-call, always, and you could be required to navigate high-stress negotiations at the drop of a hat. It was just better to cut yourself off, then reap the consequences of your actions later.

You tapped your friend’s shoulder as you walked past and leaned over to talk into her ear. “I’m getting some water for the table; do you want anything else?”

“Mmmm, no I think we’re good for now, thanks!” She was plastered already, but she had a huge grin on her face and was laughing at her co-workers’ stories, so you considered it a win of a night. You gave her a pat goodbye and swayed your way to the bar.

But you just were not accounting for the uneven floorboards, or how much your heels affected your currently less than steady equilibrium, and before you could blink you were teetering over into a nasty fall.

“Whoa there, easy does it, muñequita” Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into a warm chest. “Careful now, don’t go twisting an ankle in those fancy shoes.”

You certainly did not account for the man you turned around to face. Wow.

His hands glided respectfully from where he had caught you around the waist to your still bent and held out elbows, steadying you as you swayed dangerously again.

Warm brown eyes, soft brown curls, and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that it wasn’t left over adrenaline from your near wipeout. He was gorgeous and handling you so gently, and you wanted to spend forever in that moment.

“Hey there, palomita, I’m Frankie, can I buy you a drink?”

[Next Part]

#triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #frankie morales x you #Pedro Pascal #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

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tequiladimples · 3 years

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I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes.

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

#look away this is so long #also @ my non fic mutuals scroll past it pls #it’s not that deep i’m just tired #ask

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ishgard · 3 years

Photo

Nabbing up this meme + my answers from twitter to post here!

1. what's their favorite beverage - alcoholic and/or non-alcoholic?

She's pretty simple with alcohol: give her anything fruity and/or sweet and she's set, it's a bit cliche but sex on the beach has a 'special' memory attached. Same with non-alcoholic drinks really, she loves Shirley temples, fruity teas and lemonades, and super sweet coffee drinks.

2. what's their favorite flavor? (spicy, sweet, sour, etc)

Mana will eat just about anything, she's very eager to try new foods (whether she thinks she'll like them or not) - but she does ESPECIALLY love sweet foods of any kind. She's also pretty much got that crazy anime, Usagi/Goku kind of appetite/stomach going on.

3. what's their favorite food?

She has such a deep love for food in general it's hard to nail one thing down. Some honorable mentions would be souffle pancakes, and just about any sweet apple baked good, crepes, fresh fruits, and mochi. (...I swear she does love foods other than sweets, like big juicy burgers and pizza.)

4. breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks - which do they look forward to the most?

All of the above. She LOVES a good breakfast spread though, (missing from #3: breakfast sandwiches!!!) and dessert (obvious by now, surely) places pretty high.

5. do they have a food or flavor they absolutely hate?

For a while she really disliked apple-based foods because she ate a LOT of them as a kid, but she's come back around to loving them. Otherwise, not the biggest fan of avocado (mostly a texture thing) or cottage cheese, and celery can only be in soup/stew or covered in peanut butter and raisins.

6. can they tolerate spicy food?

She doesn't have a very HIGH tolerance, but she does enjoy food that has some kick to it. But not a fan of say, spicy food SOLELY for the sake of spiciness, she's not just drenching her food in hot sauce for the thrill of it, but wants it to be a part of a wider variety of tastes.

7. what is their favorite animal?

Rabbits! She also really likes cats, foxes, and snakes, but rabbits are a big 'personal' animal for her. (Modern AU she wears some cute-ass rabbit headphones while streaming.) As far as 'image' animal goes, it's almost a little verse dependent, or as she's been told: 'You play the part of the rabbit, but you're really quite the clever little fox.'

8. what do they wear to bed?

Anything from long shirts/nightgowns, pajama shorts+tank tops, to just her underwear or sleeping in the nude if it's really hot out. She absolutely owns (at least) one of these, too, mostly for lounging around.

9. what position do they like to sleep in?

She moves a lot in her sleep, but can typically be found starfishing or curled up in a ball. Alternatively, wrapped around one of her many pillows, or (more preferably), Belial. In the latter case, there's zero regard for temperature, even if she's hot and sweaty and miserable good luck prying her off of him.

10. are they a morning person or a night owl?

While Mana is naturally more of an early bird, she also loves the night time and stargazing, and just the solitude the night often brings, so sometimes it's all down to day-to-day moods and vibes.

11. are they a heavy sleeper or do they wake up easily?

Generally a pretty heavy sleeper, unless she's having pain or otherwise can't relax (whether anxious or excited). She can sleep through a lot when she's out though, for better or worse. (Bel usually doesn't have a hard time getting her up, though.)

12. it's a rainy day, what will they do cooped up inside all day?

........fuck around with Bel. >_> Otherwise, making treats in the kitchen, reading/writing letters, or just curled up with a book and watching the storm. ..Pretty much all of these will also end with fucking around with Bel (again) though.

If there's thunder, due to mild astraphobia, she might need to take something to help her relax, or listen to some music, but the above still applies for want of distractions.

13. do they have a favorite scent or smell?

Fresh baked goods, Belial, coffee, the smell of freshly warmed milk with cinnamon and honey.

14. what do they smell like? do they wear perfume or cologne?

If she hasn't been out fighting/traveling (thus smelling like the outdoors, campfire, flowers, sweat), she's likely to smell like something sweet; cinnamon, honey, or just whatever she's recently cooked. There's almost always a sweet apple-y smell around her no matter what.

15. baths or showers?

Baths! Long, luxurious, bubble-filled baths that ease all the aches and tensions. Bath time is relax and unwind time, a sacred art complete with bath salts, bath bombs, or maybe candlelit with some snacks and wine, or a good fruit juice.

16. how good are they at cooking?

Very good! She loves to cook and bake, both for herself and especially for others, and enjoys trying out new recipes and techniques. It started out of necessity, cooking for herself and her brother, but she really grew to enjoy it seeing the way he'd light up, and also cuz she just loves to eat. Preparing holiday goodies for occasions like Valentines and White Day are favorite festivities of hers, and in modern au she works at a bakery.

17. what's their favorite time of the year and why?

While she enjoys all of the seasons for different reasons, she probably enjoys spring and summer the most. She likes being outside, enjoying the air, and especially loves going to the beach.

18. do they have a favorite holiday?

Halloween and Christmas (and their varying fantasy equivalents) for sure. Halloween is perfect for her, between her sweet tooth and love of mischief-making. Meanwhile for Christmas she typically goes all out preparing seasonal foods and gifts for friends.

19. do they prefer buying ore receiving gifts?

She wouldn't be ashamed to say both. 'Who doesn't love receiving gifts?' after all, though she can get a little flustered if it starts to edge towards spoiling her. Her gift-giving can range from 'very good', choosing the perfect gift for the individual, to... outlandishly questionable (or at least humorous) - though, no less thoughtful, necessarily.

20. how tall are they, and how do they feel about their height?

She stands around 5'2", and typically doesn't think much of her height or 'lack thereof'. Except, say, when she's trying to get something off of the highest shelves and cupboards, though that usually just means she gets to climb on the counters.

#about: mana #added very little bits here and there from the twitter stuff cuz i can

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drsilverfish · 4 years

Text

Understanding the Closet in Narrative - Healing Hands/ Holding Hands in 15x08 Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

The best theoretical book on this subject, in my view, to date is Eve Sedgwick’s Epistemology of the Closet (1990). It’s not that easy to read without a grounding in post-structuralist theory (it’s from that period in the academy when that was fashionable) and it has its flaws (one being that it only theorises the historical male closet, not the female one). But it’s still great :-)

Essentially, she reads nineteenth and early twentieth century literature by European and North American authors, who were, or, scholarship suggests, may have been, queer (that term is anachronistic for the time-period, but I used it as a shorthand) e.g., Oscar Wilde, Henry James, Herman Melville.

But Sedgwick’s readings are situated in the political context of the AIDS crisis in North America of the 1980s. And her attempt to unravel the significance of the closet, in narrative and culture, is predicated upon a passion about the cruel times she, and her many queer friends, were living in.

She attempts to delineate how queerness was written about, by male queer authors, in times when they could not be openly homosexual/ bisexual/ otherwise queer, nor felt able to write openly about queerness (because homosexuality between men was a criminal offence).

As she carefully elucidates, that meant that often, themes of horror, rejection, criminality, deceit, even evil, were projected by these authors onto characters they were (in a coded manner) delineanating as “queer”. This was about expressing what culture made these authors feel about themselves and, about, somehow, finding a way to present queerness, or the queer experience, in a manner which would be “acceptable” (because heavily coded, and depicted negatively) to the mainstream audience. Internalised homophobia also fed into these depictions. You can see all of that in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897).

This is why the monstrous has always been “ours” in a special and specific way in narrative (here, in relation to Sedgwick’s discussion, in fiction) and later, as cinema developed, on screen, because it has often been a site of queer-coding. Of course, that’s a bit of a double-edged sword as a symbolic history. So pervasive did those codes become, that they are still used today, sometimes, as a short-hand for villainous, as in Scar in The Lion King (1994) (much discussed in pop-culture YouTube videos about queer-coding) or SPN’s Crowley (who for instance drinks “fruity” cocktails as part of the historic repertoire of male queer-coding as effeminate and therefore, untrustworthy/ villainous). But, of course, Crowley is also written as deliberately drinking those fruity cocktails because he knows what they “mean”, and not only does he not give a shit, he flaunts drinking them as part of his particular combination of transgressive bravado and demonic viciousness (an “I may drink a fruity cocktail but I will also rip your heart out and chop you into tiny pieces” vibe). Crowley remains, however, queer-coded [not unequivocally bisexual/ homosexual/ pansexual] for most of his SPN screen-time. He refers to his relationship with Demon!Dean as a “bromance”, even if the way he utters it sounds as if he’s sarcastically calling that word for it out. We see him kiss men on the lips as part of doing cross-roads demon-style deals with them, but it’s played as him fucking with those dudes (notably Bobby) rather than fucking them.

Finally, we do see Crowley participate in a a mixed-gender orgy in 11x01 Out of the Darkness into the Fire (well, we see the before and after). He has a four-way and then slaughters them (I really hate that particular scene; there’s a shitty menopause “joke” in there too) but Crowley is smoked into a different vessel from the one we are used to, a female vessel, for that orgy. So, although we do “see” it, Crowley’s pansexuality, we also don’t “see” it, because Crowley’s usual male-embodied vessel is missing from the scene. It’s out there (I’d say it does semi-“out” Crowley) but it’s, on the part of the SPN text, kind of a chicken “out” because dude-Crowley is not present. Moreoever, the context is horrible and murderous rather than tender or intimate. So, there is a classic, historical, on-screen queer-coding residue. Because, in terms of our still powerful cultural norms, it would have been more shocking for the audience if dude-Crowley had been present and the scene was a tender, loving orgy, rather than the gender-swopped and slaughtery scenario Carver gave us.

Sedgwick develops the useful concept of the “glass closet”. Which means, that, deliberately, in a text, a queer reading is at once available (clear) to some readers and opaque (unavailable or rejected/ denied) by others. She writes, of Oscar Wilde’s famous story The Picture of Dorian Gray, that it...

“.... occupies an especially symptomatic place in this process. Published four years before Wilde's "exposure" as a sodomite, it is in a sense a perfect rhetorical distillation of the open secret, the glass closet, shaped by the conjunction of an extravagance of deniability and an extravagance of flamboyant display. It perfectly represents the glass closet, too, because it is in so many ways out of the purposeful control of its author. Reading Dorian Gray from our twentieth-century vantage point where the name Oscar Wilde virtually means "homosexual," it is worth reemphasizing how thoroughly the elements of even this novel can be read doubly or equivocally, can be read either as having a thematically empty "modernist' meaning or as having a thematically full "homosexual" meaning.” (Sedgwick, 1990: p165-66).

So, what she’s saying, is that the closet as a narrative structure, has a double structure. It makes queerness at once visible and invisible, “there” and “not there”. Another way to put this is that the “there” is queer subtext, and the “not there” is all the other available readings provided by the built-in ambiguity that delineates the narrative closet. Such queer subtext IS part of narrative, but its nature is to contain a plausible deniability.

This shot from 15x08 Our Father Who Art in Heaven, epitomises Sedgwick’s “glass closet”:

There’s no doubt this is (in its context) an intimate gesture between Dean and Cas, and a loaded one, because the SPN text has made it clear (not subtextual) that Dean and Cas are not in a good place with one another emotionally or communicatively, following Jack’s (apparent) murder of Mary WInchester. We see them fight, and Cas leave, in 15x03 The Rupture.

However, in its subtextual context (meaning in the context of all the other queer subtext in SPN in relation to Dean and Cas’ individual sexualities and their relationship) this gesture (for those taking the text’s invitation to read it queerly) is also a gesture which begs for the space between those hands to be closed, for those fingers to be entwined, for those hands to clasp one another, in a manner that cannot be understood as between “bros”. The narrative negative space screams, in this register, “Hold hands, you idiots, we know you love each other!”

It’s loud, but the fact that it’s clear AND opaque (visible to some, and “don’t see it” to others) means that is still follows the structure of Sedgewick’s glass closet, i.e., it’s still subtext.