#she didn’t die for Harrow. but then she died for Harrow anyways

[rhiannonsaintofcharm]

do you guys think that part of the reason Gideon’s death was so devastating to Harrow was that before then, there had at least been one person who survived the mass murder that created her? two hundred souls had been destroyed for her sake, but the annihilation wasn’t complete — there was one who escaped. one who lived. do you think Gideon dying, for the sake of Harrow living, snuffed out her one last glimmer of hope for absolution?

#she didn’t die for Harrow. but then she died for Harrow anyways #griddlehark #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #gtn #tlt #htn #thinking about that poll where it was like ‘who suffered more’ #‘Harrowhark Nonagesimus or Jesus Christ’ #and the answer was 94% Harrow #shoulda been 100%. #honestly it’s probably worse that Gideon got to CHOOSE to die for her #thinking about Harrow saying ‘I let her die’ because admitting Gideon made that choice was worse. #accepting that Gideon thought she was worth the sacrifice was worse #not to sound like Ianthe but I’m gonna rip my own arm off #txt #rhispeak #harrow: ‘it took eighteen years but I killed her just the same’

[fazedlight]

Do-Over (supercorp ficlet, 100th episode angst, no plot impact after)

Rao, I can’t believe we did it.

She had nearly given up, after the last timeline - she could still feel the sting of kryptonite in her veins, the harrowing image in her mind of the green stone in Lena’s chest, as she refused to fight her. “Then you will die screaming.”

But the odds of another world like that - where Lena used 5th dimensional magic, blocking Mxy out - was low. So after Kara caught her breath and shook off her nerves, they decided to give it another few goes.

They hit it in the very next shot. Kara had decided to jump forward again, meeting Lena just after an uncomfortable incident in the elevator to Sam’s apartment - “I can never trust her again” - and giving her the truth. And Lena had been pissed, at first. But over the course of the timeline, she thawed. Kara and Mxy found themselves watching a movie night, Kara’s head in Lena’s lap as Lena gently scritched the blonde’s hair, Kara dozing off in the middle of the second Pirates of the Caribbean. 

“This is it,” Kara said, delighted as she turned back to Mxy. “She doesn’t hate me! No one died! This is it-”

But Kara cut off suddenly, watching the screen with widening eyes, as a sheepish and fond confession fell from Lena’s lips. And she found herself a voyeur to her own dreams, watching herself as this other Kara sat up, cheeks turning a bright pink with her own confession, before the two women’s lips gently met.

“Turn it off,” Kara said, jumping off the couch and turning away from the television. “Turn it off, Mxy.” “But this-” Mxy stuttered, confused. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Yes, Kara thought to herself, overwhelming anguish ripping through her body. Because it was everything. Everything that could’ve and should’ve happened.

Had she not been such a fool.

It was a misguided endeavor, she realized now. She could’ve ignored her misgivings, for a time anyway. Embrace a reality where she and Lena were friends again, where she had never hurt her, or at least not driven her so far.

But the pit of nausea in Kara’s stomach grew. Because the idea of being in Lena’s arms, being in her bed, feeling her wanting body, without Lena ever knowing what Kara had done, suddenly felt anathema. It wouldn’t be real. It would simply be Kara taking advantage of her again, far worse than before.

“I’m keeping the real timeline,” Kara said brokenly. “I can’t… I can’t run from this. I- I don’t know how I’m going to fix this. But I can’t undo my mistakes like this.”

Mxy’s eyes gentled at the turned-away kryptonian, holding back a sigh of relief as he snapped his fingers, the projector and reels of film and popcorn dissipating back to his dimension. It was ironic, really, that all of his fake timelines had only made the kryptonian dig in her heels, eager to find something that actually worked. But the one real timeline he had them glimpse - back on Earth-413, before the Crisis - was the one that led to her finally accepting that she couldn’t change time.

Which was great, because neither could he.

Kara took a deep, steadying breath, turning back to Mxy. “I know it didn’t turn out the way we expected,” Kara said, handing back Mxy’s recorder with his backwards-recorded name. “But you still helped me, Mxy. Now I know the only way out is through.”

The kryptonian stood - sad, but hopeful again - and Mxy gave a small smile. As with so much of the mystery of the universe, he couldn’t say how or when Kara and Lena would find their way. He only knew that they would.

“It’s true what you said, Kara,” Mxy said, thinking of the words the woman in front of him had said, not all that long ago. That’s all this endeavor was, really, returning that favor. “Magic can’t be forced. It has to be found.” And it will.

#angst with a hopeful ending #I just didn't feel satisfied with the ending of the 100th episode so here's another do-over #supercorp fanfic #supercorp ficlet #supercorp #mel writes ficlets

[krookodyke]

thinking of how all the yellowjackets are cursed in one way or another. not even just the obvious ones, but all of them.

shauna is cursed to remain as a haunted house forever— she’s been grieving a girl for longer than the girl herself was even alive. most of shauna’s existence was already built on guilt even pre-crash but with jackie and shauna being directly responsible for it knowing that jackie had felt so cut-off from the group and yet she let jackie storm outside and didn’t fetch her at any time during the night, it’s that much more harrowing. she’s always going to be trailed by jackie’s ghost for the rest of her days. and even when she dies, she’ll be old and weathered and broken from all she’s done and jackie will still be the 17 year old teenage girl she’s always been and will always be.

taissa is cursed with a rot she was born with that she’ll never escape— her nana saw the man with no eyes and now she does, too. it was inevitable, even as tai, stubborn as she is, denies it and pushes it off. above all else, she’s pragmatic and a realist, and to be constantly watched by something inherited from her nana doesn’t make sense. she can’t be watched by something that doesn’t exist. that doesn’t make sense. she can’t let sleepwalking interfere with her life, she didn’t plan it that way. even as the rot festers and gets worse she still continues because she still wants to maintain this sense of Normality and this idea of Success she’s had in her mind since she planned her whole life out when she was a kid. she’s ignored the mold in her lungs for so long that she doesn’t even notice until she’s choking on it.

nat is cursed with a constant, pulsating sense of brokenness— her curse may be the most grounded and realistic, and yet it’s also not. she lives in a trailer park, she inadvertently killed her father, the other girls give her shit for filling the emptiness within her with alcohol or drugs or otherwise. and yet, 25 years later, she’s the same— in and out of rehab, occasionally making sure her mom isn’t dead. would it have been the same if the crash didn’t happen? we can’t say for certain, because she already had it the worst pre-crash. you were born broken. that’s your birthright. nat can snort, shoot up, smoke, take whatever she wants. it won’t erase her past and it won’t erase what’s in her blood.

misty is cursed with the all-consuming desire to be liked and loved and yet is so batshit in her desire to for such it never comes— misty wasn’t unpopular because she was weird, but rather because she’s insane. drugging coach ben and acting as his nurse, crystal dying with her worst secret, when misty reveals what’s closest to her real self everything crumbles. because while she could’ve fit in with the weird kids at high school, she didn’t because she has something much darker within her. because ultimately, she wants control over the narrative— that’s why she’s a nurse to senior citizens in present day. but no matter how many old people or vulnerable people or whoever else she plays with, she’ll never have the control she wants, and as such she’ll never get the love she’s been begging for all her life. after all, her life is a tragedy, not a comedy.

van is cursed with being unable to die— she doesn’t want to get up, but something always brings her to anyways. there was no explanation as to how she wiggled out of the plane set ablaze, there was no explanation as to how her face was torn asunder and she was only knocked unconscious, there was no explanation as to how she was lit on a funeral pyre and then came to, bloodied and beaten but alive. she doesn’t want to fight, but it’s the only thing she knows, and death refuses to claim her. rejected by her mother, rejected by her peers, rejected by death herself, even. she will always endure being on the edge of death, feeling all the pain and mercilessness of it, and yet is forced to live through it.

lottie is cursed with the package deal of hallucinations from her mental illness and real psychic visions— she could never tell which is which, and how was she supposed to? and yet, she’s crowned the leader, the all-knowing, the prophet. but she doesn’t even know, does she? when they put all the pressure on her initially there’s the stark reminder that she’s just a deeply traumatized kid. she’s both not psychic and simply severely mentally ill and yet also psychic and not mentally ill. but the horror of it lies in the fact she’s both— there are real visions there, but she has to endure scorching tricks of the mind to get there. she can’t be one without the other, and yet she doesn’t know which is which, what’s real, what’s fake, and she never will.

#txt #yellowjackets #yellowjackets meta #SORRY just felt like SPREADING my MISERY for the day!

[theriverbeyond]

when Kiriona says to Crux: "“Good. Die. Die for [Harrow] … it’s the only goddamn good you’ll ever do for her. It's all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her … but you didn’t know how.”

this is it, isn’t it? Gideon calls herself out and lays bare something this entire series has been built on: love as consumption, as sacrifice, as a fucking forest fire and a nuke: "you have not yet seen the horrors of love"

Gideon dies for Harrow because she thinks it’s all she can do. Harrow sacrifices her selfhood and her mind and every memory of Gideon, because she cannot conceive of a universe without her. Camilla and Palamades die for each other because they cannot bear to be apart, the idea of the perfect love twisted into a mutual death. John loves the world so much that he ate it. destruction and revenge and cannibalism as the ultimate expressions of devotion.

the D in devotion stands for dead.

and obviously, that is all incredible and extremely thought provoking and sexy, but..... Kiriona names the one avenue of love that this series has not yet really explored: what if you lived for someone instead of dying for them.

i’m thinking of Abigail and Magnus, in the river bubble, telling Harrow to live for Gideon instead of dying for her. i’m thinking about how Ianthe loves Coronabeth so much and refuses to eat her, refuses to consume her, leaves her abandoned and sobbing but alive. i’m thinking about Blood of Eden’s founding protocol, the one that supersedes all others: the order to live.

Kirona has named it, but how does she earn it -- how does Harrow earn it? narratively speaking. anyway... even if AtN doesn’t end up exploring this i am turning it all around in my head.

#tlt meta #kiriona gaia #i am so so so sad that moira quirk said 'live' as 'we are broadcasting live in 3 2 1' vs life as the comand #live** #quality control near the end of the ntn audiobook was rlly bad.... the reason i #drafted this post vs releasing it back in septemer was bc moira quirk says this line in aiglaiglamene's voice and i doubted #but it IS gideon. it is. #tlt thoughts #anyway. leaves this out on my porch. #also abt that boe protocol like i have more thoughts other than it goes hard as fuck #trb.txt

[aetherdoesthings]

Resend of my request because you said so lmao (ima just copy + paste)

Hi, m'back :D and because I love hurting myself, can I request a hanahaki au! Reader x Robin? :))) if you thought the enies lobby one was angsty, that one was just a test. I'm feeling evil to myself >:)

If you're not familiar with what hanahaki au! is, basically nothing changes about the world except there's now a disease called hanahaki disease, and essentially, someone can get hanahaki disease when they have unrequited love for someone. Symptoms of hanahaki disease include flowers growing in the victim's lungs, and the first signs of the disease come when the victim starts coughing petals. The longer the hanahaki disease prevails (it can go on for years), the more intense and painful the coughing can get and can eventually lead to coughing up whole flowers (stem, petals, and all) until the victim eventually dies. (Fun, right? 🥰) Hanahaki disease can only be cured if the victim decides to lose their feelings for someone or if the victim's crush likes them back.

Typically in Hanahaki au! Fics, the victim hides their symptoms in fear of revealing their romantic feelings. In some fics, certain actions can trigger their coughing, for example, if someone mentions the victim's crush's name, or if the victim sees their crush with someone else, they may start intensely coughing at that moment. Although less rare, some fics make the hanahaki disease non-lethal and more of just a life convenience. This is an option you can put as well. I'm not picky. :)

I thought Hanahaki Disease might fit given Robin's Devil Fruit. Reader would have the Hanahaki disease (so reader likes robin, but robin doesn't like her (yet?)) and because I love to share pain, I'll let you decide reader's fate :). Does she let go of her feelings to live, does Robin like her back to live, or does reader die without the chance of confessing?

Take as long as you need :333. Go ahead, break my heart. I wonder if you're just breaking your own in the process as well :D anyways, TYSM ILY 🫶🫶

the day has come, Eneis Lobby anon. the first part of the hanahaki au!reader x robin fic. i don't break my heart writing stuff like this. only robin's past can make my heart break and cry.

forethoughts: ooffff probably gonna be a three parter? idk, depends on how much i write and how much i want to drag out y/n suffering.

notes: fem!reader, modern au!, high school

You hated going to school. You hated waking up at 7 am in the morning, to trudge to school in a uniform with other adolescents that didn’t make your life any better. Sure, it was your junior year; one more year and you’ll finally be done. But you didn’t want to wait for one more year. You wanted to just end school now.

As much as you loathed sitting at a desk looking at the whiteboard while your teacher rambled on and on about the lesson, there was one good thing that came out of school.

Nico Robin.

Another junior in your grade. The popular and extremely unbelievable smart girl everyone loved. She was the center of attention during lunch, where other juniors would swarm her just to have a word, or beg her to help them with their homework. You sat there on the side, watching it all happen, hoping you could be one of them. One of her close friends. It pained you to see so many people who didn’t even give a rat’s ass about Robin and only talked to her for her intelligence. Robin was so much better than her brains or her brawns, even her beauty. She was a goddess in your eyes; in everyone’s eyes, and all you wanted to do was be seated by her side, basking in her beauty and appreciating her smarts. She didn’t deserve to have other juniors crowd around her and leech off of her brains. She deserved better. She deserved someone who would treat her well and treat her with kindness instead of selfishness. She deserved-

A harrowing cough was ripped out of your throat, as you buckled over until it stopped. You stared at the ground, and found a single cherry blossom petal right where your shoes were. You rubbed your throat, searching for a reprieve to the sudden pain you just felt. Was that petal always there? Couldn’t be. There was no way you coughed out of a petal. But it wasn’t anywhere near cherry blossom season… 

You kicked the petal that was in between your shoes, and to your dismay it moved. You weren’t hallucinating. A cherry blossom petal was there, even though it was nowhere near cherry blossom season. You looked back up at Robin, who had disappeared, and so did the entire table of juniors.

It’s fine. It’s nothing. I’m going crazy. I’m just batshit insane. Yeah. That’s what I am. You nodded your head at that statement. While no one was looking, you picked up the petal, shoving it in your pocket as you moved on with your day, pretending nothing ever happened. You weren’t coughing up flower petals, and even if you were, there’s no reason for you to be coughing up flower petals. Who even coughs up flower petals?

History, the one class you shared with Robin. You were good at that subject; history was your thing. Of course it was her thing too; Robin was the biggest history buff ever. She knew how the Earth was created and every single era leading up to now. During group projects, everyone wanted to pair with her, and you were left to work by yourself. 

Class began, and the teacher started to talk.

“Alright, class. Today we will begin working on our project regarding absolutism and absolutist rulers. We’ve gone over a few classes talking about absolutism, and now it’s your turn to present. I will be pairing you with another student, and the two of you will have a week to work on it before presenting it in front of the class. I will be assigning a country to you, and the two of you will choose which absolutist ruler you would like to do. Do I make myself clear?” The teacher announced. Once the teacher heard a chorus of mumbles and agreeing nods, he began to walk through the rows of desks, pointing at students and saying a random country.

“Robin and Y/N, England.” Your eyes widened when the teacher said your name and Robin’s. You looked at Robin, who was sitting in the second row, just diagonal to your desk. She gave you a warm smile, making your insides do a flip. You watched Robin move her stuff next to you, taking a seat by your side.

“Hey! You’re Y/N, right?” Robin smiled at you.

“U-Uhm, y-yeah. Mhm. Yep.” You stammered, your face heating up at the moment.

Robin let out a chuckle at your response, opening her computer. “So, England. Do you have a ruler in mind? I’m open to any.”

“Uh…” You cleared your throat, feeling a strange lump in your esophagus as you pushed it down. This was your chance. To talk to the one girl you never talked to before. Not because you were shy, well, maybe because you were, but because you never had the time to. This might as well be the only time you got to talk to her before she’d get swarmed by her friends and other desperate juniors. Might as well show what you got, right?

“I was thinking of Elizabeth I; I can think of some absolutist traits about her that could be worth a presentation.” You regurgitated each word out. You felt that strange lump again, as well as the urge to start coughing up a storm. You suppressed the urge to cough, as you waited for Robin to reply.

“That could work. Alright, let’s do Elizabeth I. I’ll share a document with you. You can type down whatever you already know about Elizabeth, and we can just add more information as we go, until we have a basis of the things we’ll talk about.” Robin replied. You reloaded your email, suppressing your urge to cough and your surprise at her reaction. That worked? You could just voice your opinion and she’d listen? That was certainly a development.

You opened the document Robin sent you, your fingers moving furiously as the urge to cough became much harder to suppress, the urge becoming much more unbearable.

“Hey, Robin!” A boy walked up to Robin, a big dumb grin on his face. “Which country are you doing?”

“England, Franky. Go back to your partner.” Robin chuckled, brushing him aside. The moment you heard Robin reply, the floodgates burst open. You coughed, as an onslaught of coughing ensued. It felt like you were vomiting, minus the vomit and the strain on your throat. The entire class fell silent at the sound of your cough, all eyes on you. You lifted your head up, removing your hand from your mouth as you let out a deep breath. The class went back to work, quiet chattering ensuing. 

“Are you alright, Y/N? That was quite the cough.” Robin looked at you, her brows furrowed and eyes filled with concern. “Do you need some water?” “I’m fine.” You replied, looking down at your palm. Three flower petals. You balled your fist, shoving them into your pocket as you looked at Robin with a tired smile. “I’m alright, thanks.”

Robin was not convinced at all, but she stopped asking, as she went back to work. “Alright then.” 

Your mind was racing, heartbeat pounding out of your chest. Shit. Shit. Shit. What the fuck was that? What in the fuckknuckles was that? How the fuck did I just cough up three fucking flower petals? I’m going insane. I’m actually fucking insane.

You spent the rest of class trying to work, writing a few lines just to not raise Robin’s suspicion and act like you were contributing.

Once the bell rung, you shoved your computer into your bag, your body shooting up like a rocket as you darted to the door.

“Wait, Y/N!” You paused in your tracks, moving backwards to face Robin. She still had a smile on her face, but by the way her eyebrows crinkled you could tell she was suspicious of your cough. 

“Yeah?” You responded.

“Message me sometime, alright? You already follow me on Instagram, right?” 

“Oh! Uhm, y-yeah. Sure. I’ll do that.”

“Cool. Hey, get that cough checked out, okay? That’s not a normal cough. Get better soon, okay? We have a presentation coming up.”

“I will. See you tomorrow.” You smiled at Robin, before booking it out of the classroom and out of the school. Immediately, the urge to cough disappeared. You reached your hand into your pocket, staring at the flower petals. You pulled out your phone with your other hand, opening a new browser as you searched for an answer to your symptoms. 

The fuck is hanahaki disease? You thought to yourself, clicking on the link as you read the entire article. Your heart dropped to your stomach, mouth open as you read the description.

You had a crush on Robin. And that crush was going to kill you. 

I just won’t think of her. That’s easy. Then I’ll stop coughing up flowers and I won’t die. That’s easy. You thought to yourself. Oh, how wrong you were. The entire walk back home, your head was clouded with the thought of Robin. The sound of her voice was already enough to make your knees buckle and hypnotized. Whether it was lust or love, she was on your mind. And she’d never go off your mind.

Shit… I have an entire group project I have to do with her… what do I do? Your mind raced for ideas, anything that could work, just so you wouldn’t have to come into contact with her or see her in person.

Nico Robin was going to be the death of you.

But somewhere inside your heart, you were content with that.

#one piece #op #nico robin #hanahaki #aetherasks #nico robin x reader

[theaologies]

If Harrow is descended from Anastasia what is the likeliness that she’s descended from Anastasia and Samael both.

I know there’s the thought that when Pyrrha mentions painting a nursery on the Ninth it could have been the nursery that all of the kids died in but what if the nursery was for Anastasia and Samael’s child.

There is so much taboo over a necromancer and cavalier marrying- especially, it seems, on the Ninth. Harrow expresses her dismay over Abigail and Magnus being married but ultimately dismisses it as being okay, specifically because they were married before Magnus became her cavalier.

Obviously the taboo probably stems largely from the lyctoral process being fucked up and it would be fucked up extremely for your spouse to have to die for you and you consume their soul but what if it’s even more so because of what happened to Anastasia and Samael. What if they got it all correct, a la Camilla and Palamedes, but at the last moment Anastasia panicked because she couldn’t bring herself to kill her soulmate- which lead to John having to kill Samael or risk losing them both.

We know they weren’t performing the eight fold word under duress, as the other lyctors and cavs had, because Augustine notes this and brings up how he could never understand how they didn’t get it right, after they had spent so much time studying it. However, we don’t know if they were attempting to do what John and Alecto had done or what Cam and Pal ended up doing.

I can’t stop thinking about Alecto, turning to Anastasia’s bones, and expressing her sorrow over what happened to Samael.

Anyway I love tragedy and also the idea that Harrow is descended from both would be Lyctor and Cavalier.

#JUST BECAUSE #the locked tomb #baby I love side characters like you wouldn’t believe #anastasia the ninth #Anastasia the first #samael novenary #yeehaw #harrowhark nonagesimus

[nonasemporium]

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

Rate the Ship: Mattias/Ortus Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | it’s hero worship and that’s okay but I am not compelled 

General:

How long will they last?  Well, they did leave to go potentially die in battle without starting. But if we were to remove that, I’m not sure. I think not very long, honestly, but we didn’t really get that much of Matthias? So it could. And I know he’s basically manifested from Ortus’ five million word fanfic, so maybe?

How quickly did/will they fall in love?  Ortus has been infatuated. He projected all of his gay poet feelings onto Matthias since he started having gay poet feelings probably, and if he didn’t, then he definitely started pouring into it when all the other kids died and he had no chance of having any other means of exploring his sexuality. But also this is all constructed on projection and fantasy and not actual interaction, at which case, he fell head over heels or whatever the second Matthias breathed in reality in Harrow’s bubble (still constructed off of this fantasy but you know). If Matthias had feelings for him, I’m sure it’s driven by the fact the construct of him was mixed with said projection gay poet feelings, but if it wasn’t, then I imagine it would take a minute, because he didn’t really come off as a man for whom heroworship would do it for him. I’m aroace though so I don’t actually know how people work tbh.

How was their first kiss? They did go off to die together in battle, which might as well be a first kiss for Ortus, especially with how everyone in the Nine Houses behave. If they kissed for real, I imagine it’s nervous, maybe a bit clumsy. Ortus would be sweating, poor man.

Wedding:

Who proposed? If we made it to this, I think… probably Matthias? But potentially after having a deep discussion with Ortus, and not as a complete surprise, but Ortus would still be completely surprised.

Who is the best man?  Gideon, obviously. Ortus never properly apologized to her for also not saving her and it feels weird since she took his spot as necromancer to not give her the spot as best man.

Who is the bridesmaid(s)?  Harrow, maybe, it would also feel weird not to include her unless she didn’t want to. Anastasia herself, obviously, if she so wished it. It gets weird in the river, as you know. Abigail, too, but probably because she asked (Ortus wasn’t going to ASSUME she wanted to! Magnus would probably be with the other groomsmen, but Gideon I think still would have to be best man. For the guilt.).

Who did the most planning? Ortus. 100%. Even if Matthias had to just ask him theoretics to get the truth of what he’d want ot of it, a la ‘okay but what is your fantasy wedding, if there were no limits.’ And then we somehow meet what of those we can. So you could argue Matthias did it, but really, it was based on Ortus’ vision.

Who stressed the most? Ortus, 100%. He’s throwing up as we speak. If not Ortus, than his mother, which means Ortus again, because her stress will add to his stress.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. If they could reach his crazy demands, 10, if they could not, it’d still be an insane ceremony, I imagine. And honestly, out of her own guilt, I do think Harrow would want to allow it to be a huge affair. Even if she thinks it’s stupid. Even if it’s absurd. Anyway, the necessary funds and labor have been taken care of. Do not ever ask to pay it back, also it has nothing to do with putting Gideon in a suit that fits her forearms. Mind your business. Ortus’ vows take at least an hour.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?  Protesilaus…. Kidding…………. Kidding…. He is invited….. But Crux? He can die in a hole. Preferably he will be dead in a hole. He is not coming within two planets of the wedding if Ortus had his way. Hell, if Ortus’ mother had her way. 

Sex:

Who is on top? Hm. I think Ortus would bottom, but I don’t necessarily see him as being unwilling either way. I don’t know enough about Matthias to say, but if he’s constructed from Ortus’ fantasies, he probably aligns. 

Who is the one to instigate things? I think Ortus would feel more comfortable with Matthias initiating, past all Ortus’ weird feelings on all of it and everything, but I think he could grow confident in it with encouragement. If Matthias didn’t instigate things in a ‘timely’ manner, I think Ortus would seize his courage and try.

How healthy is their sex life? I think it’d be fine, probably, once we got some awkward conversations and catholic guilt out of the way. I think Matthias would be patient with him over anything he had hiccups with, and I’m not sure if Matthias himself has those hiccups.

How often do they have sex? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now I’m not sure how to label this. I think not all the time, but I think not like. None of the time? I think Ortus is interested in sex, but I also think he’s fighting demons every day of his life and also gets overwhelmed and sometimes still just writes poetry instead.

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head I think…. This is hard to gage actually. I’ll choose mid. I think Ortus has it in him, but I also think touch is really weird for the Ninth House? How does one define this in this case?

What’s their most surprising kink? Surprising kink…. The religious kink stuff is not surprising, the writer on Matthias’ body in ink is not surprising, even the bondage I imagine Ortus would want to try (tell me this man doesn’t want to be gagged with his hands bound as weird guilt for being a gay poet boy) is not surprising. Maybe Ortus deciding to roleplay hatefucking and being nemesis or something when he starts foraying other places? At least, I think it was a mild surprise to Matthias, but then it would make all kinds of sense, because he’s built of the fantasies Ortus has poured into him, and well, he can remember the kismesis I mean enemy that Ortus wrote about and huh…

How long do they normally last? Tbh, I actually don’t imagine long? I imagine Matthias has insane stamina if he’s based off that, and I imagine Ortus has stamina, but I can also see him needing recovery time after orgasm. But maybe he’s into edging (makes sense with his poetry lol) or chastity devices, which would make it longer. But once nutted, I think it’s time to settle in and cuddle and talk.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? I think it’s maybe more important to Ortus than Matthias. I think they would for that reason, but I don’t know if Matthias feels a need to always come or if he takes it personally if Ortus maybe has a bit of performance anxiety and doesn’t nut.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. I’m putting both because honestly Ortus has been expected to endure and create violence, and while I think sometimes he’d like a passionate kind of rough fuck, that honestly, it would do more for him for it to be tender in all the ways the Ninth said he didn’t deserve.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | If they aren’t touching each other something is very wrong because they are always cuddling. I think the Ninth house is really weird about touch, but I think they’d touch more than common for it. I think it would evolve into more casual touching in public spaces, but definitely cuddling/little tocuhes in private all the time.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Hm. I don’t know if they would. I don’t know if Ortus would want to have children. There’s so much trauma there, and there’s so much trauma also about continuing the line, and he already had such a hard time with Gideon and Harrow and with every other child dying around him. I think maybe he’d be triggered by it and only do it if duty demanded it.

How many children will they adopt? See above, but I could see Ortus maybe adopting if some child really needed it.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Matthias. Ortus is dissociating.

Who is the stricter parent? I think… we go a gentle parenting approach. I don’t know if Matthias could be very strict without Ortus being kind of triggered, and I don’t think Ortus could be very strict without Ortus also being triggered. This is part of why I also imagine Ortus would avoid child-rearing.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Matthias because Ortus is literally dying as we speak.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Ortus is throwing up. Matthias is asking him to sit down and he’s packing the lunches Ortus started getting anxious about before it was even time to make them.

Who is the more loved parent? Possibly Matthias for all the reasons listed above. When Ortus isn’t dissociating, he’s reciting his own poetry at them and that’s kind of cringe, dad. [They still love him].

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Matthias. Ortus’ mother even. Grandma’s coming with all the sanctimony and self-righteousness of the Eighth house. She doesn’t say it but also you know she’d burn you down for implying her grandchild has ever made a mistake. You wonder about changing careers.

Who cried the most at graduation? Ortus. Also now he’s remembering all the children who never finished school because they died of a plague and he’s thinking also of tiny Gideon and tiny Harrow and how they were alone and he is sick to his stomach, also he’s proud of you.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Ortus suddenly comes alive. He considers pulling out some low blows on Harrow, despite his guilt. Matthias is mildly impressed and a bit alarmed. He’s backed by his unhinged mother. It’s really not worth it to pursue legal action anymore. If Crux is somehow alive, he can choke on it.

Cooking:  

Who does the most cooking? I’m not sure really, the Ninth really isn’t known for Food. Maybe Matthias was from a time with a bit more food, or maybe Ortus wrote about foods he read about he never got to experience, and thus Matthias is a bit better at the foodstuff.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Neither, I think. Ortus, maybe, just because he’s not been exposed to choices.

Who does the grocery shopping? I could see Ortus doing this. It can be a kind of mindless, soothing task, especially if he’s asked Matthias to cook it.

How often do they bake desserts? Is sugar too spicy for the Ninth House…. Just kidding, just kidding, I think they probably do, honestly, and I think they’d both enjoy it. Maybe they try new things together.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? I really don’t know with the Ninth House. My brain says meat, but moreso in the sense of like. Bone broth. But then I think of the cannibalism and I think maybe both of them would like things made of root vegetables and fruits, but honestly it’s still all ‘soup’ at the end of the day, not salad.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Matthias, I think, and Ortus would be very touched. Ortus, on the other hand, has set up many other elaborate things, and also written a ten-tome epic for his lover, and this one is better and different from the others he made, and Matthias is flattered but also a bit embarrassed by it but also supportive because they’d only last long enough to an anniversary if Matthias was supportive of Ortus’ poetic endeavors, since it’s since a huge part of his personality.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? I think actually they both would equally. I think if he noticed Ortus shrinking too into himself or a project, Matthias would say it. And sometimes I think Ortus just gets a hair up his ass and he has to go and so they do.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?  Ortus. It is very embarrassing to be daring and fail spectacularly. He shall never cook again (he will).

Chores: 

Who cleans the room? Ortus. I actually imagine he’s got deep habits about cleaning (and hiding).

Who is really against chores?  Neither.

Who cleans up after the pets? If they have pets, maybe Ortus. Something in him still feels he has to hide the evidence.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Also Ortus, maybe, if he feels rushed/like he has to hide something. Matthias probably only cleans if he feels like putting things up, especially because Ortus is kind of on top of it, and so he doesn’t really pick up when he doesn’t have the energy to take it where it needs to be.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?  Ortus. He’s been judged enough, thank you.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Matthias. Ortus has cleaned this same spot seventeen times and somehow never noticed.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Ortus, I think. He got stuck on some line in his head he was considering rewriting and oops it’s been an hour now.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Matthias. He wanted the simple directive of it.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? I’m not sure. I could see Ortus using it for inspiration, but I could also see him resenting things. It just depends. 

What are their goals for the relationship? Well, probably just to be happy, really.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Matthias. He’ll get up at dawn when he has to get up at dawn. He’ll sleep in when he has the chance. He’s apparently been fighting for a while now, so why not.

Who plays the most pranks? Ortus. He likes to see what he can get away with.

#tlt ask meme #ortus nigenad #matthias nonius #I take these kinds of questions so seriously lmaoooo #love how I said 'I don't think ortus can handle having kids' and then still answered the questions LOL

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

@heartstringsduet replied to your post “BOOYAH I mean, December was mainly short stories,...”:

woah impressive!! :D Which were your three favorites?

Michelle I have had this in my drafts since January 2nd. It's partially a straight up copy-paste from an ask I had a while ago, but I added some more thoughts.

ANYWAY.

I’m Glad My Mom Died - Jennette McCurdy; this book was a fucking ride and it deserves all the praises it got. Like, there is a backlash against autobiographies right now, or so it seems, about how it's just rich people writing stuff that will sell anyway, but Jennette can write. She initally wanted to be a writer, but her mum didn't want that, so her actually being an accomplished writer is also some form of sweet revenge, I guess. Jennette’s experiences are harrowing, but so… almost intruiging to read, since she wrote the story from her own perspective and it is also interesting how her perspective on her mother changes. The scene where she realises she’s been abused is extremely emotional, because her entire worldview has been shattered, but the road to recovery that follows is so worth it. I got it from the library, but bought it myself, because it is just so good. (Also, my mum got me this as a gift, and it is kinda funny that my mum bought a book called I'm Glad My Mom Died.) So yes, I totally recommend this book, but it's also not easy to read.

In the Lives of Puppets - TJ Klune; TJ Klune delivers once again, mom, holy FUCK, this was so good and touching and ace representation!!! It’s fun how much this book comments on humanity. Apparently, initially it was going to be a dark book, fueled by TJ’s resentment towards humanity, but he decided to focus on the beauty that humans can bring, instead of destruction. In this book, humanity is gone apart from the main character, and it’s a very interesting story about mind, consciousness and thought. It;s kinda funny, because I finished this book the week before we had a class on robot cognition and consciousness in a course about cognition philosophy and the philosophy of mind, and it's cool that this book doesn't take a typical approach you see in other sci-fi. I mean, it's still a post-apocalyptic world where humanity has been eradicated by robots, but it's so much more interesting.

The First to Die at the End - Adam Silvera; a surprise prequel that I didn’t know I needed till I read it, and it was also a fun way back to 2011. So it was also kind of nostalgic at points? It's funny to laugh about how Valentino is so advanced for having a smartphone, for example. The title is what it says on the tin, of course, but like with They Both Die at the End, I always say it’s about celebrating life, not lamenting death. Death will always be unfair, and this book is filled with it, but there’s also connection and life. I heard Adam is going to write another book in this series and this part only made me more excited for it. And once again, it has some great discussion points about deep subjects. I actually once used They Both Die at the End for a paper about death and technology.

#heartstringsduet #replies

[konmaao3]

WIP Wednesday: Captive (Working Title)

With magic protecting King Harrow of Katolis, the attack of the moonshadow assassins failed before it had even begun. Not all of the intruders were experienced killers, however. Among the survivors there was also an elven girl – surely too young to be an assassin, in all likelihood merely a servant – who, for the time being, escaped execution.

As a magical being in the human lands, she does not only attract the interest of mages, but that of the young princes as well – and at the same time, she still has her own plans and is patiently waiting for just the right moment.

The heavy dungeon door opened, and Rayla could feel the cold air stir before it settled down again. Determined footsteps approached, accompanied by the clinking of armour, but she didn’t bother to get up and stayed on her heap of straw. For weeks now nothing of importance had happened, guards bringing food or fetching the bucket was as exciting as it got down here. She had explored every inch, looking for possible ways to escape at first, for anything later on. Naked stone and unyielding iron, however, had nothing to offer, and she had given up for the time being, beginning a life of monotony that could last days or decades.

“Prisoner.” Apparently that was to change now. She looked at the entrance to her cell where two soldiers were standing on the other side of the bars. “Your chains. The High Mage wants to see you.”

The assassin sat up, suddenly wide awake, her eyes darting around, her mind racing. The High Mage? Was that … the mage? Who had been at the Storm Spire the day Avizandum had died … had been killed? Who had possibly been responsible for the disaster their mission had turned into – there had been much time to think about it, and Rayla had an idea how magic could have ruined everything. Impossible to say what the mage wanted. In the worst case, harvest her for dark magic. In the best case … She couldn’t really think of something good that might happen.

Slowly walking over towards the iron bars separating her from the soldiers, she wondered whether it was time to risk something. The risk would be big, however – they still weren’t taking any chances. Only after they had handed her the usual two chains and she had closed the manacles around her ankles and wrists did they open the cell. If she was quick, she could perhaps take out one of them. The chains were about one foot in length each, not allowing for much mobility, but maybe the possibility to strangle someone.

Unfortunately, there were two guards and probably many more outside, and she didn’t have much knowledge about the castle towering on top of the dungeon. For the moment, it was seemingly for the best to just let them escort her to the High Mage of Katolis – a worthier target anyway.

“What does he want?” she asked. An attempt couldn’t hurt. None of the guards answered, and she cleared her throat to try again. “What –”

“Don’t know,” the soldier walking behind her interrupted.

Rayla licked her lips. “Will I die?”

A pause. “Don’t know.”

Or so they said. But it was something she had expected to happen ever since she had been captured. As far as she knew, the others had already suffered that very fate on the day of the disaster, and in the end she was a moonshadow elf just like them. Rayla grimaced in shame. They had been surprised like amateurs, shortly after their arrival, before binding themselves. She had just taken a bath in the river, not even carrying any weapons, not even wearing armour or her boots, when the soldiers had suddenly been on top of them, and that had been that. Of course there had been strong magic facilitating that trap, and still … She had failed, just like her parents.

But at least these circumstances – and her young age – had made it possible for her to feign innocence, to pretend she wasn’t one of the assassins, and that had probably saved her life. For now.

After ascending a spiral staircase, Rayla was led through the rest of the castle that she hadn’t seen in weeks, and she was surprised to see that it was a sunny day. Right, it should be summer by now. Her cell didn’t have any windows, so she was living in perpetual darkness that was only brightened by torches or lanterns in the corridor.

She didn’t mind the blackness, honestly, but she did miss the moon.

On her way to the High Mage and possibly her death, the assassin tried to memorize the layout of the buildings and walls of Katolis Castle. She needed to know as much as possible if she wanted to achieve anything. Her chances were slim – why had she survived, and not someone more capable? –, but as long as there was hope, she owed it to her people to try. Maybe there was still a way not to be a failure.

Climbing more stairs, the trio eventually reached a large door guarded by more soldiers, and one of them knocked.

“High Mage! It’s the elf.”

“Bring her in,” came the answering call, and Rayla was led into the room.

Lowering her head to appear inconspicuous, she still glanced around. Books, scrolls, artefacts, and objects with unknown purpose were scattered everywhere, as was to be expected from a mage’s study. The wizard himself was a middle-aged man who would have been of remarkable inconspicuousness himself, hadn’t it been for his fancy clothes and the staff he was holding. Certainly not ugly, of average build, the hair cut short – you could pass him on the street and forget him one moment later.

In his study, however, he radiated a threatening aura, and Rayla’s skin crawled at the thought of the things his dark magic had done. He regarded the prisoner for a moment before dismissing the guards.

“Thank you. You can leave us alone.”

“Yes, Lord Viren. Are you sure?”

Viren. Remember that.

He didn’t take his eyes off Rayla. “Quite.”

The soldiers didn’t question him any further and left the room, quietly closing the door from the outside. The mage had retreated to a tall object on the far side of the study, an artefact covered by a curtain that he removed now.

“Come here,” he said. The assassin hesitated. Should she? She didn’t move, thinking about her options, but apparently patience was not among Lord Viren’s virtues. “Elf. Do you understand me?”

She regarded him for one more moment before she shuffled closer, the chain between her feet clinking with every step. If she was to kill him, being close would be better than standing at the other side of the room. The object in question was a mirror, taller than an elf, the frame covered in runes. Looking at it, Rayla couldn’t but grimace at the image staring back at her. She had always been slender, but the food had been neither good nor plentiful in the past weeks, not to mention the lack of washing possibilities, and it showed. Her cheekbones were clearly visible, her rank hair was unkempt and dotted with straw and dirt, and she could imagine why the humans would deem her harmless.

Hard to imagine what years or even decades in a dungeon could do to you if she was already in such a state after a few weeks. The mage didn’t give her the opportunity to ponder that question, however, gesturing at the mirror instead and addressing her in a demanding tone.

“What is this?”

Rayla frowned, looking back and forth between him and the object in question. “A mirror.”

Lord Viren tapped the floor with his staff. “Yes,” he said impatiently. “And what else?”

“I … don’t know.” Damn it, was that bad? What did this mean? Prisoners lived dangerously, and making yourself useful – or even indispensable – was sometimes the best option to ensure your survival. Not that the assassin wanted to be useful, but it could be a means to an end. She regarded the mirror again. “These are runes on the frame,” she added doubtfully.

The mage snorted. “Yes, yes, but what else? Is that all?”

“Could be magic,” Rayla offered, but without much conviction.

“Hmph. Nobody ever knows anything …”

Could be all kinds of things. However, means to an end or not, she was reluctant to give more information – not that she had any. Who knew what the dark mage would be able to do with that knowledge, with that mirror. Probably better for Xadia if no one ever found out.

She noticed him staring at her head though, and his next question went in an altogether different direction.

“Hm. Do these horns grow back if they are …?” What? Why did he – then a thought occurred to her that made her shudder and take a step back while the mage shook his head, apparently talking with himself rather than with her. “Of course hair and blood are … I have to find a book about that. Guards!��

“Lord Viren!”

They immediately entered, and just like that it had become impossible again to kill the mage. Rayla would need more than a few moments for that, and they would intervene in that time. Covering the mirror, Lord Viren gave the soldiers their next instructions. She half expected them to be an execution order and was surprised by what she heard instead.

“I’m done with her. You can take her to the king now.”

#the dragon prince #fanfic #tdp rayla #rayllum

[miraonpluto]

been having horrible thoughts about how atn will end concerning harrow and gideons fate and i need to share them

so we all know gideon was supposed to die like. a bunch of times. she was literally created to die, the creche flu didn’t kill her, not only did her soul survive the lyctoral process but also her body. by all accounts she should be dead (well, more dead than she already is) right now. and so came forth the horrible thought of “what if gideon actually, finally dies at the end of atn”. what if there’s no way to fully resurrect her. what if the only option is to be a revenant in her dead body forever, be incorporated as a secondary lyctoral soul, or just. die. have her soul move on to the river. the conclusion to harrow and gideon is harrow saying “you can let go now” because all those years she never let gideon leave her even if it meant forgetting her altogether. fucking What Then.

is this likely to happen? i have No idea. by all accounts foreshadowing indicates them achieving perfect lyctorhood (which i think will be the only way for harrow to resurrect gideon because their souls are so tangled but that’s not the point of this post). but this idea has been rattling around in my head and making me feel ill for days so i had to express it. anyways

#i’ve fully convinced myself this is a likely ending and it’s scaring me actually #tlt #the locked tomb #alecto the ninth

[incorrect-house-of-nine]

SUBMITTED BY @neathrablog I am having Anastasia the First brainrot, and the best way I can think to get rid of it is to inflict it on you share my headcannons.

- Very pale with very black hair and eyes so dark blue they're almost black.

- She grew up in a rich family from the the Third, was an only child, and her wardrobe could charitably be described as "eye searingly colorful".

- Still technically owns property on Third. Her dad put everything into a trust for her when he died, and his will was worded in such a way that the trust basically needs her body to be able to dissolved/sell initial assets.

- Valancy's step sister. They didn't talk about it because A: they were friends longer than (legal) sisters, and B: they both like to pretend Valancy's mother never existed. They threw a freaking party when they learned that woman was dead.

- So yes, had an evil stepmother. Was actually the favored child. Because Valancy liked causing scandals (with Cyrus's help/encouragement.) Actually had "Anastasia! How could you do this to me? You're the good one!" Shouted at her when said stepmother caught Anastasia trying to sneak Samael out one morning.

- Went by "Annie" to most, and "Stacy" to Samael.

- Perpetually cold/terrible at thermoregulation. Consistently revealed to be getting snuggly with someone because she's cold and they're warm.

- She was always closer to Alecto than John. Alecto could be creepy, inhumane, and often demonstrated incomprehensible morality, but Anastasia never felt like Alecto pretending to be someone she wasn't. (Side note: I tend to headcanon Alecto as like an proper old school fairy.)

- Slept in Alecto's pool room after her failed ascension because going back to her own room was too much.

- John put his foot down about this after Alecto tried to drown her three times. (Alecto considered it cruel to leave the girl alive.) After which she mostly slept in the room of whichever Lyctor was going to bed around the same time Anastasia was.

- Didn't believe John for a minute when he insisted she panicked. However, because she had to be sedated after Samael died to prevent her being a danger to herself and others, none of the Lyctors believed her insistence as anything more than guilt/hysterics.

- Harrow's room on the Ninth was originally Anastasia's.

- The modern Ninth clothing/uniform/vestments, are taken from the mourning clothes she started wearing after her failed ascension.

- In an act of pure spite she made off with a good bit of the Canaan house liquor cabinet. Nobody knew she did this, so all the Lyctors blamed each other: most blame being directed at Ulysses and Cyrus.

- Depending on the time period between her failed ascension and heading to the Ninth, she may be a direct ancestor of Harrow.

-Even if she isn't, will earnestly attempt to adopt Harrow anyway upon meeting her.

Headcannons about her fate (ranked from most tragic to least tragic.)

- Died fairly soon on the Ninth from a condition romantics would call "a broken heart", but is actually called "spiritual bleed out" - a rare condition that's caused by damage to your soul. Because she was farther along in her process than John realized and Samael's death literally tore a chunk out of her soul. For extra pain, she dies just after giving birth. Like: Holds baby, vocalizes that the baby has their father's eyes, declares herself to be "so tired.", Dies.

- Realized Samael's reverant has attached itself to her, and manages a form of perfect lyctorhood. John also noticed, and Anastasia got knocked out and used as essentially a battery to keep Alecto out of commission. Has created a River bubble where none of her friends ever die, and the John puppet suffers slapstick. Samael is aware of the bubble, Anastasia isn't.

- The same as above, but John doesn't notice and Anastasia/Samael moves to a non-empire planet and becomes a cryptid/adopted aunt/strange but nice lady who reacts to things nobody else can hear, and whose personality seems to differ depending on her eye color.

Alternate Universes

- Ulysses got her and Samael so drunk one night that they ended up trying her lyctoral process completely alone, and it took 48 hours for anyone to notice their eyes had swapped do to hangover fallout. This somehow spirals into every named character living (and a few technically dead ones making a reappearance)

- The same setup as the third suggestion of her fate. Deviants in Harrow the Ninth when she accidentally crashes into Harrow and Mercymorn. Gets dragged to the Mithraeum by a confused/slightly excited Mercy. Pretends to be just a normal Lyctor (not helped by Samael's running commentary) Gets named Saint of Faith (because clearly her Faith in John hasn't wavered at all. /S). Spends the book futility trying to adopt Harrow, and keep the fact that half the time she isn't even driving her own body secret (hint, Samael's driving when she's wearing the ridiculous pair of bedazzled sunglasses). Ends the book by taking everyone and leaving when John's treachery is revealed, because she's seen the Princess Bride and realizes that "take everyone and leave John with only Ianthe's company" is the closest to "To the Pain" Anastasia's gonna get.

- The obligatory vampire AU. Either she was always a vampire and nobody noticed because nobody at Canaan house was aging OR she tries to raise Samael and doesn't quite succeed or fail.

#submission #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #alecto the ninth #locked tomb headcanon asks #locked tomb theory asks #anastasia the ninth

[barbatos-devotee]

I Like You, Idiot!

Genshin x Oblivious!Reader

Character: Xiao

Gender: Female

A/N: Ok but imagine,,,, Tsundere Xiao,,,,,, and that is basically the summary of this one. Kind of. You’re a part of the Traveler’s Party in this one! Imagine you have whatever Vision you wanna have, and whatever weapon!

You sat on a stool in Liyue Harbor, happily taking a sip of your tea. Xiao sat next to you, the two of you waiting for Traveller to return from doing their commission. They were currently running around the city, doing whatever non-fighting commissions they had to take care of while the party was here. They also took QiQi with them, because the little zombie child clung to the Traveller like an older sibling. So that just left you and Xiao. You took another sip of your tea and sighed, before placing the cup down on the table in front of you.

“This is nice. So, Xiao, what do you think we’ll get to do next? I mean, after that whole fight with Osial (The big water snake thing in Act 3, I looked up the name guys don’t worry I gotchu) and Zhongli.. I’m sort of curious as to what crazy adventures they have next for us!” You giggled, twirling a strand of hair around your finger. (I want you guys to pretend you have long hair; at least in terms of side bangs at least. If you want your hair to be shorter or longer in the back, that’s fine, but in the front you have two long strands of hair, any texture you please) Xiao turned to stare at you, the usual uncaring expression on his face.

“I’m just hoping it’s not as dangerous as this one. I can hold myself in a battle pretty well, but the Traveller is still just getting a hang of their powers, and one slip-up could easily be their downfall. And you... you need to be more careful, if you were to get hurt that would be a liability to the team.” The adeptus snapped out, and you laughed to yourself, completely missing his underlying point. It sounded like a straightforward message to you, and you smiled at Xiao.

“Yeah yeah, I understand. Don’t worry! I’ll try my best not to get in you guys’ way, I may not be the best with my (weapon) and (element) Vision, but I was good enough to get on the team, yeah?” Xiao huffed, before turning back around and crossing his arms. He knew that you had missed his point entirely, and he grumbled about it to himself. Now he was going to have to try a different tactic.

The trip to Guili Plains from Liyue took about half a week, since it was a very long way. Traveller helped halve the trip to the time it was by taking the party through various shortcuts they knew of. During the trip, Traveller talked with Xiao a lot, and the adeptus responded in his own usual way. Somehow, you took this as them flirting, and your eyes would sparkle with excitement at the prospect. You decided that you would do your best to support them however you could, completely unaware of their true plans. On the trip, Traveller and Xiao had actually been discussing how best to help him confess to you, because Traveller had figured it out a while ago. How they did that, Xiao didn’t know, but he wouldn’t pass up on an opportunity to get you to notice. Unfortunately, they did not know that this was having an opposite effect on you.

After a harrowing fight with a ruin guard, one that Xiao managed to almost kill immediately, he rushed over to you, who had just barely escaped getting clipped by an aimed rocket. Traveller brought QiQi over, who immediately began her healing process for you. Xiao, however, was upset. And that visibly showed, but as anger.

“You idiot! You need to be more careful, why did you think it was a good idea to use (elemental skill)?! You know that one takes too long to charge, and the guard was already aiming for you!” You looked down, a frown on your face.

“I’m sorry! I thought I could-”

“You thought you could, but you didn’t! What if it hit closer to you?! You could have died-!” Everyone went silent at Xiao’s outburst, all shocked at the way his voice cracked. You looked up to him, eyes wide, but he turned around before you could see his face, and he huffed, disappearing into green Anemo particles. (Yknow, like Venti did at the beginning of the game! I have no idea if he can actually do this but it’d be cool if he could) The rest of you looked at each other, before Traveller stood.

“I’ll go check on him, QiQi, you stay here and make sure she’s healed.” They stated, before taking off in the direction that Xiao disappeared in. Now it was just you and the little zombie girl. The both of you were silent, until the child spoke up.

“You’re all healed now... please be more careful next time... Xiao would hate to see you hurt like this again...” You frowned, crossing your arms and looking away from QiQi.

“Why would he even care? He likes the traveller, not me.” QiQi stared at you, silent. After a couple of moments, she slowly shook her head. You blinked, before tilting your head in confusion.

“He.. doesn’t like the Traveller?” Another head shake, “no”. Your eyes widened, and you put a hand to your chin. Then you reached over and hugged the zombie child.

“I have to think about this one, thanks QiQi. For the healing too.”

With the traveller, they’d found Xiao, about a mile away from where they fought the Ruin Guard, sitting on top of a broken pillar.

“Xiao...”

“She doesn’t understand.., why doesn’t she understand? You’re at least as strong as me, so you won’t get hurt as easily, QiQi is a zombie so she can’t die a second time... why can’t she understand that she’s just a mortal? Why... why won’t she understand that I can’t lose her?!” The adeptus exclaimed, slamming his fist into the pillar he sat upon. It cracked slightly, and small pieces of debris fell from it. The traveller moved closer, worry in their eyes.

“I’m sure she knows this as well as we do Xiao. But she’s trying her best, so she can be as good as us. I’m sure she must feel inferior...”

“But she shouldn’t-!”

“But what if she does?!” Traveller interrupted Xiao’s shout with one of their own. The two now locked eyes, burning emotions visible in both of their orbs. Traveller continued to speak.

“You said it yourself, she’s not as strong as we are. But I’m sure she wants to be. She wants to keep up with us or she’ll feel left behind.” The blonde smiled sadly, seeming to remember something.

“I know how that feels, my sibling was always the better one of us. I always felt as though I wouldn’t be as good as them, even if we were practically equal in power. And I’m always worried for them. If I lost my power when I first came here, did they? Are they in danger? Are they dead? I don’t know, and I intend to find out, whatever it takes. But I do know how she feels, Xiao. So.. go talk to her.” Xiao blinked, and moved a hand up to his face, to scrub away the redness and tears from earlier.

“Thanks..” He muttered, before vanishing again. Traveller sighed, their mood immediately shifting from one of sadness to one of annoyance. They wished that they could teleport as easily as this adeptus bastard, now they had to walk-

~~~~~

Back with QiQi, you sat in the grass, picking flowers with her as you waited for Xiao and the traveller to return. It had been a while, and you hoped that they were both okay. You got your answer when Xiao materialised in front of you, startling you and causing you to drop the flowers you’d been collecting.

“Woah! Where’d you-?”

“QiQi, can you go meet traveller? They’re about a mile that way.” The little zombie child nodded, before taking off towards the direction of her sibling-figure. Now that left just you and Xiao, and the two of you sat in silence for a couple moments. Then, the adeptus spoke up.

“I am....sorry for yelling at you like that. You got hurt because I couldn’t protect you, and that upset me, and I... I lost my temper. So... I apologise.” Xiao didn’t meet your eyes as he said this, instead pointedly looking at the ground near your leg, since you still sat in the grass. You looked up at him, searching his face for... you didn’t know what you were looking for.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too, I should’ve been more careful. I know I’m not as strong as you, or the traveller. I got ahead of myself..” Xiao shook his head, going over to you and kneeling down. His hands grasped yours, holding them close to him. He held you tightly, afraid to let go, like he would lose you if he let go.

“No, no.. it’s.. you may not be as strong as us, but you’re strong enough! And you can get even stronger! You’ve.... you’re strong enough already to be on this adventure with us, and I.. I’m glad you are. I wouldn’t know what to do without you here. I just.... ugh, this is so dumb..” Xiao cursed under his breath, looking away before looking you dead in your eyes.

“I really like you, you idiot. So, please, stop being such a dummy and go out with me? I swear I’ll protect you even better this time.” Your eyes widened, and your mouth stood agape. What? Xiao liked... you??? Not Traveller? I mean, QiQi had hinted towards as much, but you didn’t actually think.... You could feel your face heating up as you blushed, and the only sounds that came from your mouth were stutters. Xiao shook his head, chuckling to himself.

“You don’t have to answer right now. I just.. I needed to tell you.” He the stood up, pulling you with him. By then, QiQi and Traveller had returned, and you were still at a loss for words.

“Okay guys! Let’s keep going! I know a Fatui skirmisher that needs to be beaten into a pulp!” Traveller exclaimed, and then the four of you were off. You were left to think about Xiao’s words, your face flushing every time you did. You were still in shock that the adeptus liked you, of all people. How do you process this?

How would you respond?

A/N: Omg this one was unnecessarily hard to write, and I got caught up in holiday stuff... anyways, happy 2021 everybody!

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #liyueharbor

[dude1818]

It’s only been three weeks, but I’m reading Gideon the Ninth again (and that’s saying something, since I never reread books). I mostly wanted to see what I could pick up this time now that I know how a lot of the twists resolve in Harrow the Ninth, but there are a lot of lines I want to comment on, so I guess I’m doing a retrospective liveblog after all.

Less than two years later, Gideon Nav would be one of only three children left.

I remember reading this the first time, but it certainly didn't strike me as "overnight all the children died." It seemed like a normal consequence of the collapse of the House, in the same way only elderly nuns were left for services in the next chapter.

Ever the obsessive and secretive scholar, [Harrowhark] had derived at great cost some forgotten way of preserving and puppeting the bodies.

The first scene with the Lord and Lady, where we also find out they were dead the whole time, makes it seem very much like it was Harrow's plan all along to puppet them and take over the Ninth. Even when we learn their deaths were by hanging, I thought that was just Harrow being gross about it.

Lord’s cavalier had helpfully decided to die the day that Priam died.

That's totally a euphemism for "Harrow killed him too”!

“I know the things that befall cavaliers, my lord, I know his fate!”

Ortus's mother with the curse of prophecy.

“How are you going to get Ortus back, anyway?” Did Harrow look momentarily troubled?

Okay, so Harrow totally thought Ortus was going to come back. And Crux is much crueler than I recalled, so I guess it makes more sense that he blew up the shuttle on his own initiative. Still a little surprising.

“While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.”

I keep finding more Tumblr memes I missed the first time.

“All you need to know is that you’ll do what I say, or I’ll mix bone meal in with your breakfast and punch my way through your gut.”

This line has been talked about ad nauseam, so I have nothing further to discuss.

[Gideon] mentally staved in the sides of the enormous, shadowy cave and buried Drearburh in rock, and for good measure exploded Crux like a garbage bag full of soup.

Never seen this line brought up, though.

#gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #tlt

[itsthegameilike]

Best Books of 2020

Hi all! As always, I read some banger books this year and I like to do my best to get like everyone in the world to read them, because they’re deserving and being an author is hard. So, without further ado, here are the books that made my year! There Will Come a Darkness/As the Shadow Rises--Katy Rose Pool A pretty standard fantasy YA fare, but a step above in character and entertainment. There’s a world-ending prophecy, of course, and a collection of kids trying to save the day, but the world building is excellent and the plot develops from the characters and their relationships, not the other way around. I have characters I would die for and the second book in the series didn’t fall into the typical mid series lag. 8/10. The Lost Future of Pepperharrow--Natasha Pulley This was a follow up to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, which is another of my personal favorites, and this did not disappoint. I, in fact, like it better than the first. Set in Japan in the late 1800s, it is part ghost story and mystery, as Thaniel’s--the main character--love interest goes missing, his past having caught up to him. Thaniel is so relatable and his devotion and relationship with Mori could carry me through like forty more books exactly like this. I don’t want to give it away, but it’s one of the most satisfying historical fiction queer relationships I’ve ever read. 10/10.

The Vanished Birds--Simon Jimenez A space odyssey story that hits closer to home for me than most do, as I’m not typically a science fiction fan. There are aspects of time and space travel, leaving the main character outside of normal space and time, meaning most of her friends have aged and died past her. Eventually, she meets a boy, lost and alone, and grudgingly takes him in. They form a bond, but he has a secret and it ends up wrecking her ship, her crew, etc. but she does her best to keep him safe anyway. The plot is incredible, lots of twists and turns--the good kind--and I’m more than a slut for found family stories, so here we are. 9/10.

Upstream--Mary Oliver This is an essay collection by Mary Oliver and like everything by her, it changed my life just a little. Before this year, I wasn’t reading her every day and now I am. She offers much needed perspective and the tools for self healing and this short essay collection is such a simple way to get started. I loved it to pieces, just as I love her. 10/10.

The Autobiography of Red--Anne Carson I read a fuckton of Anne Carson this year. I encountered her on this site and decided to read as much as I could and I have no regrets. This was my favorite by her, but they’re all so so so good. This is a modern retelling of a Greek myth starring Herakles and Geryon, centered on their relationship and Geryon’s journey to discovering his own power. There are times when it is incredibly harrowing, but I stopped like every two pages just to process her way with words. This is the most English major offering of the year, as it works heavily in metaphor and allegory--and is also poetry--but it is worth it. 10/10. P.S. If you’re looking for more Anne Carson, I also highly recommend The Beauty of the Husband.

This is How You Lose the Time War--Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone God, I loved this book. Maybe the surprise of the year for me. The writing is absolutely gorgeous and the tropes are some of my favorites. Two women on opposite sides of a war who fall in love with each other through hidden messages and a happy-ish ending. Though it is more vignettes than an actual plot--that being said, the ending comes through--it still affected me intensely. 9/10.

The House in the Cerulean Sea--T.J. Klune Read this book, please. Please, please, please. It is the comfort you need, I promise. It’s about a weary man, stuck in the hell cycle of capitalism, who is sent on a job to an old, rickety house owned by a man who takes care of magical creatures/children than no one else will take care of. They fall in love and the mc finds a family and begins to enjoy his life. The relationship is so healing and cute and I spent half my time screaming and the other half crying. 10/10.

Gideon the Ninth/Harrow the Ninth--Tamsyn Muir I do not even know where to begin talking about these. They’re weird, hilarious, morbid, and absolutely wonderful. I would die for both mc’s, who are definitely halfway through an incredible enemies-friends-lovers plot, and this book surprised me with plot twists more than once. There are necromancers and bones and sacrifices and threesomes with God and queer characters up the wazoo and old, dangerous ruins and space and ugh. I reread these almost the second I finished--both of them--and I know I’ll need to reread before the last book comes out. 10/10.

Tell the Wolves I’m Home--Carol Rifka Brunt I gave this to every member of my family to read, almost directly after I sobbed for like forty-five minutes at the end. It’s from the POV of a young girl whose uncle dies of AIDS and can’t find comfort in her own family, because they didn’t like him nearly as much as she did. She becomes friends with the boyfriend he left behind and they heal each other through their friendship. It wrecked me and put me back together. 10/10.

These Violent Delights--Chloe Gong This book is a retelling of Romeo & Juliet in Shanghai...loosely. But it’s such a good read. Shanghai is so visceral it’s practically it’s own character and the threat of the monster lose in the city is genuinely terrifying. Juliette and Roma were together at one point, then broke up after a betrayal, and when they come back together to save the city, it creates such an interesting character dynamic that never lost my interest. Lots and lots of props too to the relationship between the Benvolio & Mercutio counterparts. I cannot wait for the continuation of that in the next book. Just...so good. 9/10.

Honorable Mentions: A Deadly Education-Naomi Novak, The Only Good Indians-Stephen Graham Jones, The Memory of Babel-Christelle Dabos (only here because it’s the 3rd book in a series, it’s a 10/10), Black Leopard Red Wolf-Marlon James, The Eye of the Heron-Ursula K Le Guin, and Fifty Words for Rain-Asha Lemmie

#book rec #books #tell the wolves i'm home #these violent delights #the locked tomb #the house in the cerulean sea #this is how you lose the time war #the autobiography of red #upstream #the vanished birds #the lost future of pepperharrow #there will come a darkness #best of 2020

[maine-writes]

The Trouble with Time

"You are in big trouble." Future Connie said to the sheepish child. "Time travel. Time travel! Do you realize just how dangerous this is?!"

"I wanted to see you guys when you were my age." Vonvon explained, glancing over at the younger versions of their parents. "You and Papa always told stories of your adventures, and I sometimes imagined being there."

"You know how many times your father could've died during this time?!" Connie continued. One may be foolish enough to suggest that she may be being a bit too harsh on the child, but then, chances are they've never been through a childhood of harrowing ordeals. "He only lived because he has Gem powers! If he was a regular human, he'd be dead dead!"

"N-now, hon..." Steven tried to say, not needing a reminder of the several dozen instances of potential painful death.

"Wait, Vonvon is our child?!" younger Connie interrupted, blood rushing to her cheeks. "When does this happen?!"

"H-How many more times do I almost die?" Steven asked, afraid of the answer he'll get.

"They look exactly like Stevonnie." older Connie said, "Come on, young me, I thought we didn't need glasses anymore. Also, you don't need to know that. And at least six more times, little Steven."

"Seven." Older Steven corrected. "There was that time when I visited you in college and you were at your parent's after your dad had that nasty fall, remember?"

"Right, the space T-Rex. You mentioned that."

"Anyways, you have no idea how dangerous time stuff is." older Connie said, calmer now. "Who knows how many timelines you affected, and how you affected ours."

"But how'd you know I came back here?" Vonvon asked.

"We had memories of meeting you, and now we're getting memories of meeting us." Steven replied. "But your mother's right, time travel isn't something you should be messing with."

"But I, we, did." young Steven said, raising his hand. "That didn't seem to do anything."

"Not exactly." explained his older self. "It took us a few tries to get here with the time machine Peridot made. We found a timeline where we used the hourglass to go back in time, then just never came back. You remember, Steven & The Stevens?"

"Yeah, that'll haunt us for always." older Connie commented.

Young Steven's eyes grew distant and dim as he locked the thought and memory away in the darkest corner of his mind. He doesn't need to know about the timeline where he died. And possibly watched himself die. Not today.

"Oh no." Older Steven said. "I think I just made my late teen years worse."

"Worse?" young Connie worried.

"Just remember, he needs a hug every so often." her older self explained, hugging her Steven.

Young Connie glanced over at her distant-eyed Steven. Slowly and awkwardly, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling his head to hers, and patted his curly hair.

"There, there." she said, wondering how exactly this will help, not that she's complaining. "Anything else I should know?"

"Yes, we go to college." Older Connie began to list, thinking back to everything she wanted to know back then. "Mom eventually accepts the fact we got a tattoo. Do not let Steven name Vonvon, no matter how much painkillers we are on. The name was a nurse's idea. Yes, the sock puppet the nurse used to try and calm us was weird, but it helped. And no, the guy we meet at college was not flirting with us, he's-"

"No, I mean anything I should know about Steven?" young Connie interrupted, even though she was curious about her own future.

"Three things." older Connie explained. "He will experiment with his shapeshifting powers, and he will get it, but only after a few worrisome days of being a cat. Always remember, he does love you, even if he does turn pink. And there will be times when he needs time alone and other times when he needs a hug, You'll get a sense of them."

"He turns pink?"

"Yeah...yeah..."

But as older Connie returned to scolding little Vonvon while her younger self privately wondered about what a future with Steven holds, a shadow loomed in the distance, watching from the darkness of the lighthouse. It leered at the group with a ferocious, sinister glimmer in its eyes.

"There they are." whispered the ominous shadow. "After all these years...I have you now..."

@artsycooky13

#steven universe #vonvons time adventure au #who dat?! #theres so much stuff Connie wants to know

[certifiedskywalker]

You Can See Me - Kylo Ren

Anonymous said: Hi I was wondering if you could do a Kylo request? Something along a soulmate au prompt? Just surprise me lol thank you

AN: This takes place before TROS (but after TLJ) and begs the question, is it a Soulmate AU if the concept is already in universe? 

Your nightmares were getting worse, colder and darker, each time your head hit the pillow. You knew why; it all collided at Starkiller, the day you came face to face with Kylo Ren for the first time. After your spar, your nightmares had grown more vivid and more familiar. At first, you never saw him, or even his pitch-black mask; only, what you imagined, were his surroundings. Every time you closed your eyes you saw the grey, coldly-metallic halls of the First Order’s newest Dreadnaught or Star Destroyer.

“Y/N? You alright? You look…” Poe waved his hand in front of his face, “distant.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just tired.”

“Hmm,” Poe glance back at the schematics displayed before you both. “You’re bad a lying when you’re ‘tired’. You know that?”

You gave him a sideways glance but Poe, stoic as ever, remained focused on the task at hand. He was trying to pinpoint where what planets were resisting, in any capacity, against the First Order. Both of you had scoured over holonews and flipped through different radio frequencies for hours. Finally, your lack of sleep was getting to you.

“Poe,” you groaned, “it’s not like that.”

“It isn’t?” You fell silent. If you were honest with yourself, you weren’t entirely sure. 

Ever since you had been young, it had felt as if some part of you was stretched taut, across the galaxy, connecting you to something, someone. Since you could remember, your dreams had never been your own; they weren’t even dreams but nightmares. When you saw Kylo Ren, when you fought him, everything clicked into place. It was as if you were born to know him, and he with you. For some reason, the Force was tying the two of you together.

“You know I can’t not help it,” you insisted. Poe turned to face you and you saw concern under his annoyance. “If I could stop it I would.”

“Then why didn’t you? You could have ended all of this, for everyone!” Poe put his hands on his hips in that way he does when he gets heated. You had known him long enough to read his body like the old texts Luke had given you and Rey.  

“Poe, that’s not the-”

“Jedi way? Didn’t Luke say it was the Jedi’s own fault they fell anyway?” Your eyes widened, awake now, at his words. 

“You spoke with Rey,” you mused, silently wondering what else she had told the pilot. Namely, if she told him about what else happened on Luke’s island home.

“Yeah, I did,” Poe fired back, “when you’re busy talking to him, I talk to her. Is there a problem with that?” You bit back your tongue and tried to calm yourself down.

“No, there isn’t.”

“That’s right,” Poe turned back to the schematics, “cos’ she’s not the enemy.”

That was it; you had enough. You pushed up and off the table you had spread out old star maps on. With a frown, you turned your back to your friend and started off. “I’m going.”

“You need to talk to him? Complain about me and the Resistance?” 

You stopped in your tracks, trying to summon what you read in the old Jedi texts to your mind. Do not let your emotions control you. Do not give into the blaze of your anger. Do not let hate flow through you where only compassion should lie. You still hadn’t read the lesson on patience though, so you found yourself spinning on your heels to face Poe. 

“I don’t know what Rey told you, but he...Ben isn’t...he’s confused.”

“He’s a murderer!” Poe shouted, brown eyes wild. “Even she sounded like she pitied him and here you are, sharing his dreams! You see him at night and he wants to kill us!”

Your hands curled into fists at your sides and you shook your head. “I don’t see him! Not anymore!” 

“You’re lying again.” His tone was bitter but you couldn’t fight back.

“I never look at him, I never...I don’t know what you what me to do.” You pressed your eyes shut to stop the threat of tears.

Poe threw his hands in the air, exasperated. You had to stop yourself from yelling at him further, telling him that you had only seen Kylo, Ben, three times before you tried to face him in person. The less Poe knew, the better. It would only serve to hurt him and he looked hurt enough already.

“You could have ended it all,” Poe said, his voice suddenly quiet. His eyes fell to the ground. “You could have saved the galaxy from the First Order.”

“The First Order would not die with him,” you choke out. The thought of Ben dying, at your hand, made you sick. “You know that.”

“It would hurt them, though, Y/N! Why couldn’t you do that? I do it every time I shoot down a TIE but you, you could’ve…”

“You could’ve killed Finn, before you were captured,” you countered softly, taking a timid step towards your friend. Trying to make Poe understand was like trying to get Chewie to comb his fur: it required a careful touch. “But you didn’t.”

“Don’t bring Finn into this,” Poe warned coldly. “It’s not the same and you know it.”

“But it is, Poe.” He lifted his gaze and met your eyes. You saw a wariness in them, the after affects of his outburst still written out on his features. “We need to see the good in people if we want to survive. Even if those people seem so evil. I know that there’s good in him, I-”

“You don’t know him, Y/N.” Poe was frowning deeply now, his once bright eyes so defeated and dull. You were losing your friend. “You think you do, but I’ve seen what...what he’s done.”

“Poe, he, Ben, never had a chance to-”

“He’s not Ben, Y/N, it’s Kylo Ren. You keep saying that but there’s no Ben, not anymore.” Poe turned his back to you. “I need to get back to work.”

You stepped backwards, walking away from one of your very first friends in the Resistance. Tears stung at your eyes, unshed as you fled towards your quarters. With every step, you felt sleep calling out to you low and yearning. It was almost as if, somehow, he, Ben, were pulling you close as he could. You tried to push that thought away.

You needed to not think about him. If you did, you would be thrust into his dreams, his surroundings. Rest, that was what you needed. Rest would do you good and, hopefully, you and Poe could work out your issues tomorrow. If the Resistance were to succeed, everyone would have to work together seamlessly.

So, without hesitating, as soon as you were in your room, you threw yourself on your cot. Your face sunk into the uncomfortable pillow and you let some of the tears slip out. 

Perhaps Poe was right. Maybe there was no hope for Ben, for Kylo Ren. Maybe you had misplaced your heart. Maybe the Force connected you to end one another. Maybe the Force, like Poe, wanted you to end it all and save the galaxy.

Or maybe the Force wanted something different. Maybe this story had a different ending. Maybe you were meant to save more than the galaxy; you were meant to save Ben Solo and he was meant to save you from your thoughts. The Force was never wrong, even if the Jedi were.

“You’re upset.”

You lifted your head from your pillow and, when your eyes readjusted to the light, you were no longer in your room. Quickly, you scrambled to your feet. Standing up, you studied the walls and floor which were now a stark white. The air around you smelled musty, as if the spotless room was old, and medically clean. You didn’t turn around, crane your neck, or move at all. You stayed as still as possible.

“And you can see me,” you replied, “seems like no one is happy.”

“Hmm, you’re projecting,” he replied, his voice so close to you that a shiver ran down your spine. “You heard something you don’t want to believe. Perhaps you’ve come to your senses and wish to join me?”

You closed your eyes and took a breath. “You know I can’t, that I won’t, Ben.”

You heard him sigh from behind you and you turned around to face him. There were windows, exposing the expanse of space harrowing against the white surroundings. His clothes and hair, so dark, blended into the spot of black between the stars. His hands were at his sides and he did not turn to face you. Wordlessly, you moved to stand at his side.

“You will,” he said, his voice so deep you had to look up at his face. His profile looked softer to you, but his eyes…. He looked as tired as you did. 

“I will take Ben’s hand, never yours,” you replied, “I can see him in your eyes.”

“You see nothing but a ghost,” he looked at you then. There was fear in his face, so clear that it made your heart ache. “We are connected in the Force, the Dark side calls to you.”

“Just as the Light calls to you,” you press, “our souls are meant to share the Force this way. I’ve read the old texts and-”

“Lies,” he said, turning his body fulling to you. “Those tomes are filled with nothing but lies. The Jedi died as liars, as traitors.”

“Who’s projecting now?” His nostrils flared at your reply and he turned back to gaze into the depths of space. “Ben…”

“Don’t.” You pressed your lips into a thin line and start to step away. “No, just stay.”

His voice was so quiet, so small that, for a moment, it didn’t sound like the Ben you knew. A younger Ben, maybe, before Snoke, before the First Order; perhaps a Ben before the Jedi too. It was enough for you to return to his side. For another moment, the galaxy felt balanced. There was Dark and Light in one room, sharing the same space peacefully. 

Your hand brushed against Ben’s. His skin was surprisingly soft at the brief touch. You fought the smile that pulled at your lips. It was enough to comfort you, to push the doubts from your mind; there was still good in him. In that moment, two souls were one, just as they were always were.

#kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren imagines #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x you #kylo ren soulmate au #soulmate au #ben solo #ben solo imagine #ben solo imagines #ben solo x reader #ben solo fanfic #ben solo fanfiction #ben solo soulmate au #ben solo x you #sw #sw imagine #sw imagines #sw fanfic #sw fanfiction #star wars #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron #tros #tlj