#she says that i sas

[glitchysquidd]

You’re writing three things at once??? Howwww????

I get distracted then forget what I was working on... then start working on something else.

It makes my funky brain go heehee hoohoo!!!

#this is #one of the reasons why i ask my mom if i can tested fer adhd #but can i? #noope #because she knows i DO NOT have it. #she says that i sas #was also tested as a kid. #which i dont believe. #sorry for the mini rant #! #anon ask #i just like to know whats wrong with me and why i act the way i do. #ughh #wwish my mom would just #like???? #listen to me fer once? #my adhd friends keep saying i probs has it #sighs

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

"the way they killed medusa was stupid" "using the hat to kill medusa was dumb" that's because this show isn't written for action and blood and gore its written for STORYTELLERS ofc the "fight with medusa" wasn't epic and bloody that would defeat the whole point INSTEAD it was symbolic and set up narrative arcs. it was annabeth passing on the invisibility her mother cursed her with to a woman who was cursed never to be seen. it was paralleling the original perseus myth where he uses the helm of darkness alongside his shield and shoes from athena and hermes. it was setting up the conflict between percy and annabeth about giving up the hat and making annabeth suffer an emotional loss to go on with the quest versus imposing the consequences of medusa's story and tragedy on the gods themselves.

imagine watching a scene where annabeth increasingly gets defensive and 12-year-old lashing out with "but my mother is always just" "that isn't how the story goes" and "you're a LIAR" imagine watching the air go out of the room as "i'm a survivor" "i was you" "i would have been content to worship her for a lifetime... in silence" medusa breaks her calm demeanor at having her story erased once more imagine watching annabeth appear out of nowhere and make medusa disappear with the powers that athena granted her so that a son of poseidon can murder her and your main thought being "awwwww but i wanted it to be more epicccccc i wanted blood and gore and decapitationnnnnn" imagine missing the whole point of the entire percy jackson series that bad

#also they needed to make it pg #its a kid show yall you keep forgetting that #no they cant explicitly say she was a survivor of sa but they did a great job with the implications and the tone and the unease #no they cant show her head getting chopped off #but also ASK YOURSELF WHETHER THEY SHOULD #IS THAT MORE NARRATIVELY SATISFYING??? #literally the writers do not deserve to have their genius overlooked like this #i didn't word this as well as i wanted to but there you go #listening to seaweed brain pod ep 3 and was struck with a bolt of inspiration #percy jackson #pjo <3 #medusa #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv series

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

in 3x01 lip tells fiona mandy’s staying because terry’s been drinking a lot again (he drinks and mistakes me for mom) and i will never understand him that season because like… he was saving her from terry’s terrible abuse but then suddenly she becomes too clingy and annoying for him and he tells her to go home. HE TELLS HER TO GO HOME. TO HER RAPIST. HER FATHER WHO IMPREGNATED HER NOT EVEN A YEAR AGO. LIKE- HOLY FUCK.

#cw: sa #i love lip but i fucking despised him when he said that shit #he knew what he was saying #he knew what would happen to her #fuck him for that #the way mandy was treated in general but especially in season 3 was appalling #no wonder she snapped #shameless #lip gallagher #mandy milkovich #terry milkovich #season 3

[psyaurorak]

I always see people say Demeter in myths was overprotective & a control freak/ helicoper parent.

But if i was surrounded by rap-sts, murderers & men who were violent against women etc i would ALSO be just as protective of my daughter & keep my daughter away from the gods.

Shes not horrible for trying to keep her daughter away from men who would take advantage of her. Like…… a man who kidnapped her in the end…

Its almost as if she was right to do so

#anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus criticism #lore olympus critical #antiloreolympus #im just saying #y’all are spewing BS #i would be demeter in that scenario & no im not sorry about it. #also Demeter was raped by poseidon #so i’d think that would’ve cemented her belief #you’re always on her case but theres no way shes in the wrong here #i will say it… #Hades kidnapped her which IMMEDIATELY proved her right #i am NOT sorry #on that note #tw sa #tw assault #tw sa implied

[1tsjusty0u]

HER ENTIRE ARC IS ABOUT HATING LINK. THATS THE ONLY DEVELOPMENT AND REALIZATION SHE MAKES IM GOING TO TURN INTO AN OYSTER AND BECOME AN INVASIVE SPECIES ON A DIFFERENT CONTINENT

#the hating link arc is neat. thats fine and cool #BUT COULDNT YOU HAVE GIVEN HER AN ARC THAT ACTUALLY CENTERS AROUND YKNOW. HER STRUGGLE??????????????? #SAYING SHES WRONG TO DENY HER FATE AND THAT SHES BOUND TO THIS LIFE SHE HAS NO CONTROL OVER. #I AM GOIJG TO BECOME A DOLPHIN EXCLUSIVELY FOR EVIL PURPOSES I. OTURJJ #it reminds me of the misogyny video. it really is that shes trapped in a narrative not of her own and shes forced to basically be tied to l #ink. i like link. but making her arc center around him making what she does for him making her be the thing she never wanted to be. your sa #batoging one character for another.

[time-is-restored]

im seeing so many people say that sophietexas said shit she unequivocably Did Not Say so like. just for my own peace of mind.

when dream asked what she'd said about him/george, she explained that she had tweeted a friend's misogynistic experience with george (without details), which she took down because it 'caused more harm than good' and 'it was becoming more about me [than the victim]'.

they shared a screenshot of the tweet with him

dream, assuming there was more to the story (apparently he'd been told she was talking shit about him?) asked what else she'd said. he also asked why he/george wouldn't know what incident she was referring to if it was 'that bad'

sophie clarified they only tweeted about george, and said the interaction in question was not assault, and they wasn't accusing george of that

dream asked for more details, accusing them of not wanting to 'hear another perspective'. basically saying it wasn't fair that they'd say this shit when it could be a 'miscommunication' or not true

sophie said again she wasn't going to say anything else because it wasn't her story to tell

dream said that was ridiculous, and asked why they'd had positive interactions in the past if she was so negative towards them now

sophie explained george had ignored them + therefore been rude, didn't mention the context, and DREAM said it 'probably happened' in an among us lobby. made a comment about how he'll 'never know' why they don't like him

sophie said she didn't like his attitude. dream said it was hard to have a nice attitude when he was getting texts from people asking why everyone on twitter thinks he's a 'serial rapist'

sophie said that the conversation was getting unproductive, and that she wasn't going to expose her friend. she said she doesn't wish for dreams downfall, and she just wants the creator space to be safer

now, about what she DIDN'T say/do:

she did not accuse george of 'being a misogynist because he ignored her in an among us lobby'. she mentioned that they had been in among us lobbies when dream said he didn't remember her. separately to that, she said that george had ignored her when they'd spoken. seperately to that, the misogynistic behaviour accusation was her sharing a friend's personal experience. all she ever said was that george was rude to her.

they did not accuse george of assaulting anyone (aside from expressing support for caiti), and they clarified that their friend's negative experience was Specifically Not Assault before they deleted all related tweets.

she did not accuse dream of literally anything. i cannot emphasise this enough. dream clearly thought/was told that she said something abt him, and kept asking what 'else' she said apart from the tweet (which she willingly showed). again, all she said about dream was that she thought he was nice, and now thinks he has a bad attitude.

sophie did not share her friend's story in detail because that wasn't what the friend wanted. if you think that's shady, please consider that dream went public in order to accuse connor + sophie of saying shit about him/george without having proof. if sophie had named her friend, or given details, that knowledge would've become public too. then please consider the reaction that caiti has received these past few weeks, after accusing george of something george admitted to. consider the ways people are still calling her a liar, or a clout chaser, or of exaggerating/changing her mind and calling it assault after the fact, after george has agreed that what she said happened happened. would you, knowing that context, want to expose your friend (who already didn't want to come forward personally!) to that level of scrutiny and judgement?

leave sophie the fuck alone come on guys. their 'crime' is not liking george or dream and expressing that to dream's face. they made a tweet on behalf of a friend which they took down bc they felt it was detracting from caiti's story. that's literally it.

#anyway if anyone looks at this interaction and genuinely cannot understand why sophie wouldn't give more details #like. i don't know what to say to you. a statement as mild as 'george ignored me' was met with interrogation #downplaying and acting as if she was incorrect for feeling hurt. that's not how interpersonal conflict works interestingly enough #anyway. sophietexas PLEASE get behind me holy shit #ppl are acting like they cussed him out and accused him of war crimes. she literally said he had a bad attitude can we please get some #perspective #sophietexas #sa cw

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

While back then it probably wouldn't be considered SA but now? It clearly is.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:) #I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed #by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this??? #but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't #think others have considered. #And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with #that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know? #I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh” #I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the #PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice. #i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy #only to act out is...yeah. #save me morally gray circe #ask #anon #Mad rambles #tw sa #tw ptsd #tw sex assault #anti madeline miller #anti circe #essay

[nobodymitskigabriel]

Dean making fun of Sam for being sexually assaulted in red sky at morning makes me so ill. It's so out of left field and pointless to the episode so I tend to just pretend it never happened for my own sanity. But then there's Dean rolling his eyes and sighing over Sam being assaulted by Meg in s1. Then again in s2 making fun of Sam for being possessed by a "girl demon". And like. It would make a lot of sense for Dean to not take woman on man sexual assault very seriously due to toxic masculinity for one but also being chronically sexualized his whole life? Like if a woman sexually assaulted or raped dean (and theres a good chance something like this has happened) no way would he take that at face value. He'd write it over in his head and convince himself he must've wanted it.

#in regarding dean theres this part where the girl at the bar says “im so sorry if i took advantage of you” #after sam tells her dean was roofied but the way she says it its framed like a big fucking joke like #its funny that dean could be taken advantage of by a hot girl?? #also the way that amaras coveting of dean is just. never really addressed again :/ #100% sure ppl have talked about this before but its where my brain is rn #sucks bc i feel like id actually like red sky at morning but the sa ruins it for me #this isnt meant to be dean crit btw its just analysis of his character #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #tw sa #tw rape mention

[autistic-katara]

scrolling the open atla tag nd stumbling across the weird takes i was not subjected to when scrolling only the zukka tag

#why do z*tara shippers have such a vendetta against aang??? #bro could breath and theyd be like “LOOK AT THIS BITCH TRYING TO RAPE KATARA AND THE SHOW JUST LETTING HIM BCZ HES THE HERO” #like mf chill this guy’s 12 with a crush and if u actually watch the show its not like katara never likes him 😭 #she just developed her feelings more subtly to the audience #did u forget her kissing aang on the cheek in that book 1 episode? #her being jealous in that other? #her being the one to offer kissing in the cave of 2 lovers ep? #if u guys’d actually watch the show ud see she does like him #its just not as in-ur-face as aangs bcz a) aangs the main character (we’re seeing this from his pov) #and b) hes extremely cartoonishly over the top-ly into her ofc she would look less interested in comparison #tho i bet if she was as openly interested as aang use would probably call the show sexist for reducing its main female character to a #love interest like that #and yeah ik there was a bit where aang kissed katara w/o her consent but it wasnt like the show treated that as a good thing #that was him fucking up and the show acknowledging that it was not the show promoting sa #idk this isnt me saying u have to ship kataang this is just me saying u dont have to justify it by saying aangs a horrible person or smthn #pro kataang #pro aang #anti zutara #atla

[aho-dapa]

This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

#anyway #just having thoughts #anti sjm #like I'm also pro Tamlin? and that doesn't help #i had to stop making intensive tamlin posts because my mental health honestly couldn't handle the constant discourse #which is sad when people genuinely come with the intent to discuss but since its all horrible in general I end up not having a lot of #emotional space to have a good conversation most of the time sighhhh #i also just end up blocking people in general when my timeline messes up my interests but #i have yet to block main ship tags because I still want to interact with my side of fandom on it but I'm sooooooo close to blocking #main tags because some people are vile on here #don't even get me started on gwyn because people end up saying shit they shouldn't be just because of shipping #and I don't have any personal feelings about gwyn but the way people say she's not important as a character gives me the ick tbh #like I get it from a sjm is a terrible writer standpoint #but gwyn did have narrative importance in acosf despite however I feel about how it coulf have been better written #and also as a character that is very explicitly a SA survivor some people here need to THINK about how they talk about her

[saspitite]

i really wish i could relate to posts other autistic people make of their childhood where they actually knew they had autism. it's like a different life. i wish i could've figured myself out as a preschooler, as a kid, as a teenager, that i was different and there was an explanation and that it was okay.

but like. i dunno. i never got that. every time the possibility of getting tested came up, it was always "no, you have friends" or "no, you don't have a completely flat voice" or "no, you can speak in full sentences" or "no, girls don't have autism"

girls don't have autism

i learned to mask for my survival and now its being used to discredit my struggles. sometimes i wish i never had to deal with this. but i don't know, i can't imagine myself not-autistic. i literally can't imagine it. that's me.

i'm just not allowed to be me

#sas says #autism #actually autistic #autistic experiences #maybe im just dramatic. i dont know. im not claiming to have the worst experience in the world #i just hate it here #also just in case this breaches containment of just my followers: #i call myself a girl but i don't use she/her pronouns jsyk. gender things

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

I am very curious was it ever stated in the show that Karen was a victim of sexual abuse? Or is it just your theory? Or are you referring to that one time Jody went down on her while she was in a coma, because that was messed up

she says in season 3 when talking to lip outside that she was almost sex trafficked, and as you said, jody raped her while she was comatose and he also did it again in a deleted scene (that time she wasn’t comatose but she was still very brain damaged and a teenager). the entire relationship with jody was that because he was in his thirties and she was only sixteen, so it was statutory. and i don’t really count it but it’s worth mentioning frank told her that he liked it when she had sex with him… and that was fucking odd

#tw sa #as for a ‘theory’ tho i will say that a girl that sexually active at such a young age may find herself in that kind of situation #because she was definitely exploiting/oversexualizing herself from a young age #and it’s also just traumatic to be that sexualized- especially how her father treated her #not like eddie sa’d her it’s just the way he spoke of her was dehumanizing and misogynistic #and a lot of how she acted was because she was so hurt by that #shameless #karen jackson

[shouts-into-the-void]

This is officially a Manaria Sousse hate page

#her entire argument was based around her own personal failures #also threatening to SA someone as a means to emotionally manipulate someone else is gross #and if she actually SAed her maid (which i dont actually think she did pretty sure it was just something she made up to fuck with rae) #shes even worse #also trying to say that Rae having respect for what Claire has said she wants from a partner makes her a coward #rae taylor #claire francois #manaria sousse #im in love with the villainess #i favor the villainess

[sirenascelestiales]

Honestly, considering the show/writers never acknowledged Daphne’s marital rape of her husband, and they only had a slight acknowledgment of Edwina’s feelings on Kate x Anthony, like I don’t think there will be a satisfactory resolution to Pen’s betrayal of the Bridgertons (Marina/Colin and Eloise/Theo) or of Eloise’s “friendship” with Cressida (and anything else she might do as “revenge”).

I think they’ll blow over the latter “I said I’d rather die than be her friend and I still mean it” and hugs all around or some other scene like that (which I know is simple and that’s my point). And Pen will apologize and confess that cause she’s so in love with Colin and she wanted to be noticed and she’ll be forgiven without much else from Colin. And maybe a little more for Eloise, if that.

(Spoiler’s for the books in case people care about that).

They forgive her for Whistledown in the books, Colin is worried more about her being revealed as Whistledown than her writing shit about him (tho nothing she writes is like Marina/Colin is not in the books. Daphne basically forgives her for anything she wrote about that but tbh she doesn’t seem to mind anyway). And, they like sorta acknowledge it as “wtf” thing, but it’s blown over quickly imo. “Oh well that’s nice dear” sorta reaction. And Eloise does have even more of a backbone than in the books but idk I just don’t see why and what people seem to want out of Bridgerton.

Eloise is going to somehow befriend and fall in love with Crane! You’re telling me the girl running around with Theo and “radicals” will suddenly fall for the guy boring the fuck out of Marina?

Like, I’m sorry but Bridgerton is pretty people hooking up with a regency background. They will not “do right” by most people’s standards of how the characters should act and how to apologize (Daphne and Simon make up after professing deep love in the rain! Anthony is shocked into confessing for real cause Kate fell of a horse! It’s for DRAMA, and then it’s resolved kinda easily?)

I’ve seen some more of nuanced takes against Pen, at least these people aren’t reducing her to a fat villain (cause when they did that I could not take them seriously 😒). And honestly a lot of it is fair, that’s good! The writers don’t care.

But now I keep seeing people hating Eloise to the point that they want a comeuppance that is not proportional to her “revenge”…and like… it won’t be as serious as y’all are making it to be. This “revenge”. Like please, the writers aren’t going to suddenly take this world seriously. See above and those are just 1 example for each season!

If they wanted to acknowledge all the hurt Pen put people through and make her work to become a better person, they could! I just don’t think they will because it’s 8 episodes per season and in this season they’re trying to find a way to get Colin and Pen together and Eloise and Pen as friends again by end of season. I don’t think they’ll extend a conflict into Ben’s season (I actually hope they don’t, I like Ben and Sophie’s story for the most part and while I love Anthony and Kate they shouldn’t be the focus either).

Idk what people expect I guess. if you’re watching it for Pen to be taken down a notch… might not be the season for you. If you’re hate watching I guess tag it with “anti” whatever and not the regular tags?

I’m sorry if you think she does not deserve an happy ending, I don’t necessarily disagree that she’s undeserving of some crow eating for what she’s done. However, I don’t think the writers care to make her go through that. And I don’t watch Bridgerton for brilliant character development that I think some of y’all want.

That being said I’m curious about how they’ll manage LW post Colin x Penelope marriage. In the books it basically disappears, and maybe they can use that to have a build up to Pen! However that means to me making their relationship last longer than as season and I do not want that for any of the couples.

#illy talks #I need to not go into tags but fine I’ll tag it #Bridgerton #sa cw #marital rape mention #rape mention #idk if I have a tag for that but I think I have it covered #I don’t write any analysis or meta cause I tend to be a centrist about everything and let the story play out #but I really relate to Pen’s wallflower ways so sorta defending her #but like also again the whole marketing of “Colin and Penelope’s story” sorta spoils it yknow she’s gonna be “rewarded” #and maybe she’ll get to have to work through her issues! I just don’t think they’ll have her do that cause it’s BRIDGERTON #she’s gonna “win” idk how else to say it (whether you believe she “deserves it” or not) in 8 episodes #hopefully the writers come up with a compelling story for her and Eloise and their friendship along with Pen/Colin romance but like y’all 😐 #why are your expectations so high about a bodice ripper book turned tv show from the creator of Scandal and HTGAWM and Grey’s #like y’all know how it ends already… #again my fault for going in the tags #idk we’re getting four seasons minimum I just want to finish out with Ben and Sophie #if four is really all we get

[bucketofchum]

Foster Bros AU Atumu gets a girlfriend at age 22-ish? Maybe older. Maybe 25. She's respectful so she hasn't tried to push his boundaries (he's still aroace but she's a nice person - one of the few nice people he has met in his life), so they haven't ever done anything beyond cuddling before. She's older than he is. A lot of emotional intelligence. More content with under the cut (lots of SA trigger warning)

I think this is after she had met Startop and Startop acts like a total dick bc he's jealous. Atumu tries to defend his foster brother for his behaviour. After all, Startop is the only other human being who has ever been kind to him and genuinely cared for him as a person.

Atumu casually alludes to some bad shit that happened, but he seems emotionally okay with it. Doesn't go into detail but he just mentions it. Like some bad shit happened, but it's bc he's got this deformed body. And Alice is like ?? Bc she has seen Atumu in basically his underwear and he looks fine to her. He looks FINE to her haha. Anyhow he shrugs it off like it's no biggie but she is actually curious. Will be tell her? They've been dating for, idk, like, 2 years now at this point? (Atumu doesn't really know what a relationship is so I guess he doesn't know how long they have been dating. He doesn't even know what dating is).

Atumu is intersex. He doesn't really know what it is, and he doesn't know much about it. But he knows there is something physically "wrong" with him, and that's probably why all the Bad Stuff happened. He has experienced REPEATED sexual assaults, in almost every stage of his life. Early childhood (before 8 years old - but he has no memory of that, age 12 at boarding school from a group of older boys - really fucking traumatic, age 15 when he went to a private university - first week getting drugged and date raped by a bunch of upperclassmen, and 15-18 all throughout his entire undergraduate experience just because he didn't understand boundaries and didn't KNOW he was allowed to say no). By the time he was 18, in his last year in university, he was so emotionally vacant and dissociative and had basically zero will to live. He said no for the first time in his life. And kept saying no. And hadn't had sex since.

Now, some 4-6 years later, it has been a while since he has had any sexual experiences and it's....nice. He has never wanted sex. He was already asexual before the sexual assaults, and afterwards...? He has a hard time distinguishing the difference between sex and rape. Because he has NEVER wanted it. It's all the same to him.

But the kind of tragic thing is that he has sort of internalized it to be...his fault? Like the REASON he was raped was bc of his body. He's got this fucked up body - that's why he was raped. That's why all those horrible things happened to him repeatedly. And this is what he gets for having a fucked up body.

Alice can't imagine what he's talking about since he's so fucking vague about it. He never told her about the rapes, but his vague ass language gave her some idea that he might have been SA'd. But deformed? She's seen almost all of him and the only thing that seemed strange, besides how tall and thin he is, were his large scars across his back. But he has already told her that he doesn't know what those are from (that happened before he was 8 years old, which he has no living memory of).

So she asks to see. Atumu still doesn't know why anyone would want to see his genitals. He thinks all genitals are kinda........ blegh. And his in particular are even more messed up. So he gives her a warning. She still wants to see.

He does eventually show her and.....it sort of all makes sense. Why he'd say that sort of thing. Why he'd think that. He has a penis, like normal - well, I mean not that normal cuz it's MmMmmm..hmmm we will just say more than proportional ... Hm okay no additional comment, but at the base of it, it connects to what looks like a fully formed vagina instead of a scrotum. It looks identical to any normal ciswoman's labia...just weirdly where the clit would be, Atumu instead has his penis. She has heard of "hermaphrodite" before but never knew it could be like this. (She'd spend the next few days furiously teaching herself about it on the internet).

Anyhow, in the moment, she asks if she can touch it. Atumu is uncomfortable, but he allows her to. She tries a bit, but based on Atumu's body language in response, she doesn't push it.

They don't mention it again for a while, but Alice thinks about it nonstop for like...the rest of her life.

#tw: sa #cw: sa mention #lots of trigger warnings for this one under the cut #intersex #oodles of doodles #foster au #alice #anyhow that's not at all what Alice looks like but idk how to draw her #i have aphantasia so I can't picture her but its not that #my OCs that no one cares about #also he never says no to her but she is respectful enough to notice when he is uncomfortable #which is SO GOOD of her

[neotaissong]

Via @fanoniscanon @our.moral.imperative

#accusing internet weasels ignorant strays and twitter fingers of anti blackness is one thing.... #but bisan and motaz?!?!? #some of the ig personalities in the diaspora #yes #I’ve seen it for sure and saw it evolve once SA entered the chat with the ICJ... #but to accuse those being eradicated those who we’ve parasocial'd and celebrated and channeled our own fear powerlessness and #inaction thru #that’s a madness #fanoniscanon spits 💯 real talk its difficult to hear but TRUE as my grandmoma says the truth hurts #and that’s not to take away from the anti blackness that I’ve witnessed amongst others - viewing the real time genocide #but genocide is genocide and right is right and that is at the forefront of everything for me and we should be doing more #I was saying this morning I wanna come off apps and take a break due to anti blackness i was witnessing and this post brought me back #i hate the internet but i realised it was bringing back stuff from my first girlfriend first love #she was lebanese jordanian and there was much #antiblackness hovering on the edges of my experience not from her or her fam but the wider community an it still irks me just as it hurts t #think on the hate she got from my community...so yeah #its triggering but love is love is love and i thank god for meeting her #and her educating me on palestine and speaking the fire of first love and seeds of what resistance can be #but going back to this post #fanon is right we are children of the empire and i dont believe motaz or bisan are antiblack #and i do believe we have used them in the same way we use each other on these apps and i know its wrong and i know i have to do better #spreading awareness #protesting etc -- i do not require perfect victims and i also believe oppressed people have the right to resistance #i pray for the liberation of palestine everyday and i pray for those doing everything in their power to attain that liberation #cos theyre not gonna get it thru us attached to our phones but us working together #collectively #us calling out the ops and racists zionists and sexists and actually putting in work that can change something and us also pouring into #our own communities like i really need to doubledown on reading about sudan and congo and use my skillset to educate and liberate #thats something i need to do as i finish my projects #but yeah long story short - we need to check ourselves and our privilege and our parasocial vibes and check anti blackness but not