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shijiujun · 3 years

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on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

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🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

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🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

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🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

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phantaloon-books · 4 years

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(some) Riordanverse characters (bc I never read TKC) and which Hogwarts House I think they would be in

Warning: this is a long one

Nico: the dude is definitely Gryffindor without a doubt. Like Sorting isn't about some traits and some characteristics, it's about core personality. He may have gone through some of the roughest stuff when he was 10-12, and he was resentful and bitter, but he was brave and bold af throughout everything he did. From learning about his powers, to using them relentlessly despite knowing how exhausted he is afterwards, to his willingness to do whatever is necessary to do what has to be done, because it has to be done. You can't change my mind that he's Gryffindor lol.

Grover: Do I even need to explain why he's Gryffindor? He's a satyr, and even if we're shown strong satyrs, they're not really supposed to be brave fighters. Yet he is one of the strongest, bravest nature spirits we've ever encountered in the Riordanverse, and one of the bravest in general. Like he's so passionate about doing what is good, he's a hero, and the only thing he doesn't match with common Gryffindors is that he's humble and as far from arrogant as could be possible, but it doesn't take his courage away.

Hazel: She's Gryffindor, and core personality-wise, she and Nico are very much alike. They don't ever think about themselves, like Hazel really always does what has to be done, no matter the cost, I mean she literally died preventing Gaea to rise the first time, and she freed Thanatos while believing he would take her back to the Underworld. She's brave af, and she has one of the most strong willpower we've seen in the Riordanverse. She's a passionate hero, and she's the closest thing to a real knight in shining armor.

Lester: I'm gonna place him in Gryffindor because I don't think he fits in in the other houses lmao. That said, as Apollo he's very shitty, but as Lester, he's one of the most courageous people. He's grown so much, he's so willing to actually do stuff now, and sacrifice everything to do what's right, including his life, even if he doesn't know he's gonna survive. Hell, he really went most of TTT with an incredibly painful wound that nearly turned him undead, and he cared more for the future of Camp Jupiter than his own life. Additionally, he's a bit arrogant and cocky, but he truly means well, I love Lester so much.

Clarisse: Look look, all I have to say is that no one could have pulled off less than half the stuff Clarisse has done, she's so Gryffindor it hurts. She's reckless and impulsive, but she's driven by her passion to do good, even if she's the daughter of war, and was bullied by her own father. She's daring, she's bold and she is the hero. She's also arrogant and thinks she can solve everything by herself, something characteristic more of the canon Gryffindors in the books, rather than what the fans have shaped. In fact, she's very much like Gryffindors in the books, who are actually very rude to other houses and think they're the best. Still, at heart, she's in this house.

Alex: I'm in a huge dilemma about where to put them, but I reckon they'd fit pretty fine in Gryffindor. Not only are they daring and courageous, they're proud of who they are, but not in a too full of themselves kind of way, rather in a 'I am who I am, and if you can't accept me, fuck off' kind of way. They can get carried away rather easily though, and very arrogant, thinking they don't need anyone else, when they do in fact need some company. They are one of the kindest and at the same time most ambitious characters we've met, but they are brave beyond understanding in a very personal way, thus, Gryffindor.

Percy: I think it's fair to say he'd be Hufflepuff, because loyalty is literally his fucking fatal flaw, and he is the kindest sweetheart to all those who deserve it, he goes out of his way to help those who need help, whether that be mortals, halfbloods, gods, magical creatures or even his own enemies. He's too good for this world, and even if he's grown a bit bitter, he always looks to fight justly for what is right, and never loses faith in others. That, and the fact that he turned down immortality so that the olympians were more inclusive of minor gods, and their children were treated better. He's just a lovely soul, he's like 80% Hufflepuff so that's enough for me. All that and he's stubborn as hell.

Jason: Hufflepuff. Just, undoubtedly Hufflepuff. Like he seems to be this cold and self centered hero with a superiority complex (bc of all the son of Jupiter stuff) but he's the softest guy there is. Not only is he hardworking, open minded and kind, he appreciates justice but he doesn't seek for revenge or anything, he makes sure people are treated fairly and wants everyone to be accepted. Proof of that is how he continued Percy's job of including more gods, and made sure Nico felt comfortable with who he was. He truly has a heart of gold. (He deserved better btw)

Meg: God I can't decide between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but I think I'll go with the former. She's so strong, my baby, she's faced so much wrong, but she's still so kind and understanding of others, especially those who deserve kindness. She puts up such a hard facade, but she's so patient and warm and inclusive. She's brave and strong (as strong as the big three kids, if not stronger), but she's also so loyal to her beliefs despite how she was forced someone else's beliefs for years, so I'll keep her in Hufflepuff. Also, she's stubborn af, and she can be lazy, so that settles it.

Will: I KNOW some people will say Will could be in other houses that are not Hufflepuff, BUT I won't have it any other way. Will is literally the warmest person ever. He is kind and sympathetic and enthusiastic and patient and inclusive. Like Helga Hufflepuff would take one look at him and lose her shit screaming "mine". He's the guy who saw the son of Hades so many people were scared of and immediately grabbed his hand and transfered him some warmth and didn't let him go ahead and get himself killed. He's also the one who everyone loves and likes, so much that Clarisse gets along with him and he can calm her down. He's the ideal Hufflepuff, you can't change my mind.

Magnus: I mean, what else can you expect from the son of the god of summer? He's literally a guy who heals others with warmth. He's also the guy who spent years on the street with the most difficult situations, and accepts every single person the way they are. He's inclusive af, and tolerant of everything. He's the guy who's closest include a deaf elf, a Muslim valkyrie, and a black dwarf, and he's dating a genderfluid person. Yes he's brave, and he's kinda smart, and he's ambitious, BUT none of those qualities overpower his Hufflepuff nature.

Piper: Kinda debated whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw fits more, but in the end I went with Ravenclaw. Even though she isn't a fighter, she's very very brave, yet her bravery isn't compared to her wits. Like others in the PJOverse, she wins her fights by outsmarting her opponents, but unlike others that's one of her strongest traits. She's witty and creative and a little on the negative side, she really struggled to work in a group rather than by herself. On another note, she's able to keep calm in crazy situations and come up with the craziest most unthinkable solutions (I'm talking borderline ridiculous) that always somehow work. She's not booksmart, but she knows so much about everything, and she's lifesmart you know?

Reyna: Why are some of these so hard? Deeply debating whether she'd be Ravenclaw or Slytherin. In the end I'd go more for Ravenclaw though. Reyna's smart as hell, she's strong and sharp, and she always sees the best way out of a situation. She's witty and observant, being able to keep her cool in battle and lead others in the best direction. She's always looking to grow, and she prefers to do things on her own, but she's a great leader. She has some Slytherin qualities, and she's not learning as learning oriented as others, but she's definitely Ravenclaw.

Sam: Let's face it, Sam has the only active neurons in all of MCGA, she's definitely Ravenclaw. I'm gonna be honest though, I've only read MCGA once, so I can't remember much of their personalities, but Sam is witty and clever, pretty much the only one who can come up with competent plans, while the others rely mostly on luck and whatever plan they can cook up in 5 seconds. She's loyal and true to who she is, and she's extremely courageous and proud of who she is, but her sharpness is what she stands out for me, which is why I put her in Ravenclaw.

Annabeth: I know the obvious option is Ravenclaw, but I genuinely think she's also Slytherin. Yes she is booksmart and wise like Ravenclaw, but her personality matches Slytherins' ambitious, cunning and resourceful nature. She's smart as fuck, but she's calculative, she always finds a way to end up winning, and while she does so by outsmarting her opponents, she wouldn't need to outsmart them if she weren't so competitive. I feel like there's this 40/60 odds on Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, but it's that small difference that counts. Plus her leadership skills are so powerful that people don't ask, they just know she's the boss.

(Also just picture the sweet and loyal Hufflepuff boy with the strong and cunning Slytherin girl, like it should be as opposite as it is with Poseidon and Athena, but they're so cute)

Leo: Idk what you can expect that's not Slytherin. This boy is the embodiment of ambition and determination. Reminder that not all Slytherins are bad btw (I'm slytherin myself), but like he's life smart and cunning, and he can analyze situations faster than anyone else. He's charismatic and talented, and there's no one to stop him from triumphing. I don't have much to say, I just know he'd be in Slytherin.

Rachel: She's kinda a difficult one, and I struggle between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and tbh I'm still not sure. But I think I'd place her in Slytherin, because even if she's brave af (especially since she was a mortal fighting in a war out of her power), her main trait is her determination. When she's set on something, she gets it done. You can't tell her she can't do something, because she will find a way to do it. She's kind, and she's only a mortal, but she still has incredible power unlike any other. I don't think I can really name it, but I think she'd be put on Slytherin with much difficulty from the Sorting Hat.

Luke: Where else could Luke possibly go? On the meaner side Slytherins have created themselves, Luke would be part of those misled by who preceded them, by those who want to take advantage of their mistreatment (bc let's face it, Slytherins are mistreated by both students and Hogwarts staff), and turn them cold and bitter. Luke is ambitious and manipulative, being manipulated himself, and it comes easily because of his natural charisma and talent. He's very freaking determined and cunning too. He'd fit right into Slytherin, but he'd be viewed as one of the rotten lot.

Thalia: I don't have much to say about this, but Thalia is the girl whose fatal flaw is their desire for power (or smth along those lines), just like most Slytherins. She's ambitious, she's smart, she's truly talented, she stands out between the rest, and she knows it, and she actually kinda likes it.

(Also I put Annabeth, Thalia and Luke in the same house because they're all kinda similar, even if their beliefs and postures are different.

Frank: Ngl I'm having more difficulty with Frank than anyone else. I'm kinda torn between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I literally can't choose. He'd fit perfectly in any of them lmao, I just can't decide where he'd go. You decide this one yourself.

Please keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and my take on the characters, and not all of you will agree, and that's fine! You can let me know what you think (kindly please, don't come at me), and if you want to, send me an ask on a character you want me to do the same as these (as long as it's not TKC, I'M SORRY I haven't read those) go ahead, don't be shy!

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bladekindeyewear · 3 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

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jpegjade · 4 years

Text

Mr. Loverman (pt. 4) - Spencer

okay i may or may not have gotten sad about my own ending. but i promised you guys a special chapter. it will come after this. idk if i’ll make a part 5. 4 (almost 5) google docs pages later, it’s a little bit to think about. (i didn’t include any spoilers. but if you’ve seen the cat storyline, it’ll make sense. if you haven’t seen the cat storyline, then it will be perfectly fine).

anyway, if we get enough interest for a part 5, i’ll give you guys another part. i kinda know what i want to write for it but you’ll just have to wait for the special chapter to see whether or not you’re satisfied or want a part 5.

not gonna lie, kinda actually nervous about this one. tell me what you guys think!

enjoy part 1: Bloop

enjoy part 2: bloop bloop

enjoy part 3: bloop bloop bloop

__________________

“Let’s play a game.” Cat said, walking around the table.

You felt more scared for Spencer than yourself because Cat never pointed the gun at you. It was always Spencer. She made you nervous. You couldn’t watch Spencer die in front of you. You wouldn’t be able to handle that.

“I’m thinking Russian Roulette but that would go by too quickly. See that terror in your eyes? I want that to last.” She smiled like this was funny as she looked directly at you.

Spencer was internally freaking out but he had to stay calm and collected. He couldn’t let you see him scared and he couldn’t let Cat think she won already. Spencer’s mind was going, trying to think about the answer to all of this madness. Why would she be doing all of this? To scare him? To make him know what it felt like to lose someone? No. Then she would be pointing the gun at y/n.

“So, we’ll play a game.” Cat kept walking and talking.

“We always play games. Don’t you ever get tired of twenty questions?” Spencer said.

You wanted to ask him to explain everything. You wanted to find out why he was talking to her so freely. You wanted to know what was the dynamic here but you couldn’t say a thing. You couldn’t speak.

“I play games to win. I’ve always won. Except for when I was with you. I will admit, losing hurt. A lot. But I’ve had time and patience to think about this all up in my head.” Cat waved the gun in a small circle around Spencer’s temple.

You didn’t realize the tears were streaming down your face until you felt them begin to drip onto your cardigan.

“Y/n, you should know that men will leave you. They will build you up, make you feel special, wanted, desired, and then they will leave you worse than they met you. And you, dear y/n, are a fragile and broken little girl. Wait… That’s what he calls you, right? His little girl. Because he cares so much about you that he hasn’t told you about us, our connection.”

“What?” Your voice was hoarse. You strictly remember him saying that you were the only connection he had.

“Did he tell you he likes it rough?” Cat smiled, sitting on Spencer’s lap.

You noticed that he didn’t push her away. He wasn’t making eye contact with you. He wasn’t doing anything or fighting her. You noticed he didn’t look like fighting at all. He just looked blank.

“Spencer, what’s she talking about?” You said, trying to make sense of what was happening.

Spencer was calculating. He was trying to figure out where Cat could possibly be going with this. He couldn’t talk to you because if he sent you any kind of signal, Cat would catch on and kill him without hesitation. Or worse, he would kill you. So he kept quiet, trying not to show any emotion.

“Oh that’s right. Darling Spencie’s little girl wasn’t here for that. Too busy hiding along in that pathetic excuse of an apartment. You left him. Talk about commitment issues. You couldn’t even commit to that friend of yours who tried to kiss you after your only date for 2 years. Just hearing about that sob story made me want to cry of boredom.” Cat Yawned.

“How did you know about that? How do you know about me?” You were barely able to talk.

Spencer was thinking about how to get you out of this room at least but this wasn’t making sense to him. What was Cat’s fixation with you?

“You should ask how I know he likes it rough. He couldn’t keep his hands off of me. That hidden dominant side of his took over and it was like he was a different person completely. Of course, he initiated and I just went with it. He’s truly something else when you make a real connection with him. Something different than the one you used to have.”

“Why are you telling me this? What’s the point of all of this?” You pleaded with the two of them.

Spencer wanted so badly to look at you, tell you everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t see you so broken because of this. This was the exact thing he didn’t want to happen. This is the exact reason why you left him in the first place, because this was bound to happen. His chest felt tight.

“It’s truly a shame I lost the baby.” Can ran one hand through Spencer’s hair with the gun propped under his chin in her other hand.

The silence that fell on the room was incredible. No one said anything. Cat was smiling to herself, knowing how easy it was to break you. She was enjoying this more than you could ever imagine. Spencer was trying to keep up, knowing that most of this was being twisted into something that tells a different narrative than what it really is. You were beyond broken. All you wanted was to get out of the room, away from the two of them.

“The what?” You finally whispered.

“He hasn’t told you everything? Great way to start off a marriage. But that doesn’t matter. I think this little reunion of ours has gone on long enough. It needs something special to set it off with a bang!” Cat cocked the gun, finger on the trigger, as it rested at the base of his neck under Spencer’s chin, pointed up at the perfect angle.

“Please.” You begged, barely getting the words out.

You didn’t care about the baby. You didn’t care about whatever relationship they had. You didn’t care about anything but Spencer’s life right now.

“Isn’t this original?” Cat continued. “You’re coming full circle to where you were just a few years ago. Maeve’s murder-suicide of a death and now you? That has to be an exciting feeling.” Cat smiled again.

“You said we were going to play a game.” Spencer said, “This isn’t one of your games.”

“Oh, but it is.” Cat turned to whisper in his ear.

Your heart was beating out of your chest. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now. You and Spencer were being held hostage in the bullpen and there was nothing you could do about it.

“I’ve spent this whole time playing with your darling little girl’s head. It’s been a fun game, showing her everything you’ve been up to these past two years. It’s your turn now. What are you going to do when your darling little girl has to live without you? She can never change her mind and suddenly want you again after this.”

“I’m not scared of you.” Spencer said. He felt the pressure of the gun under his chin grow as Cat pressed it harder.

“Good. How are we supposed to get our happily ever after if you’re scared of your wife?” Cat smiled before everything got out of hand.

Everything happened in slow motion. Cat went to kiss him and then Spencer heard the gunshot but he could still feel everything. He didn’t realize his eyes were closed until he opened them and saw you holding your heart.

“I don’t miss.” Cat whispered before Spencer wrestled the gun away from her.

He took her by surprise and suddenly, she was on the ground, hands behind her head. Spencer stood over her, gun aimed at Cat’s head. Finger on the trigger and emotions clouding his mind, he was ready to do it. He could do it. He could put an end to this right now.

“Can’t you see it? We belong together. She was just a bump in the road in our journey. You even saw how similar we are in prison. You enjoyed your stay from what I heard. Just thought your little girl should know who you really are. You’re not the innocent brainiac you were before, the one she loved. You’re like me. I can see the real me. All you have to do is admit it.” Cat smiled.

Spencer pulled the trigger. Cat screamed in pain as the bullet went through her leg. Spencer wasn’t a murderer, he knew that it would hurt much more if she went back where she belonged in one piece.

The doors burst open, Prentiss and Garcia hurriedly stepping into the room, Prentiss’ gun drawn. They took a glance at everything that was going on. You were moaning on the ground, laying in a pool of blood. Spencer was standing over Cat who went from screaming to laughing. Spencer barely recognized that the two of them were in the room.

“Spence.” You barely said.

Spencer snapped out of it, putting the gun in his holster and rushing over to you on the opposite side of the table. You had tear stains streaming down your cheeks and he could see you looked more tired. His heart broke.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He repeated over and over. Garcia was calling for a medic but Spencer knew. By the way you looked and the way Cat aimed? You weren’t going to make it that far.

“Spencer. We don’t have a lot of time.” Every word took so much energy to say. You could feel it draining from you.

“I know.” The tears fell from his face onto the ground.

“I wanted to tell you before i fell asleep.” You took a shallow breath, “I loved you since the day I got to know you, your heart. I love you now and I will love you until my heart stops beating. And every day after that.”

“I said that to you when…” A broken sob made him stop talking.

“I wrote it down and kept it with me every day. I still love you. I never stopped. I will never stop. But you have to promise you’ll move on. You have to promise that you won’t forget me but you’ll honor my memory by giving all of that Reid love in your heart to someone who deserves it. Someone who loves you, all of you, just like I do and always will.” You were so tired and getting so heavy.

“I promise. But you can’t leave me, y/n. You said you would never leave me.” He sobbed.

“It’s not goodbye. Just a ‘see you soon.’” You started closing your eyes but fought to keep them open.

“One more kiss.” You whispered.

The world stopped around you in that moment. Cat’s laughter faded away, Prentis’ rights reading faded away, Garcia’s sobbing faded away. It was just the two of you for one last time.

“I love you.” Spencer said as soon as it ended.

“And I will love you forever.” You whispered, finally fading. _____________________

Tag list:

@dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal

@andiebeaword

@justanothetfangirl

@fanfictionreader05

@addie5264

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #cm #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine

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set-phasers-to-whump · 3 years

Text

“please come back”

febuwhump day 2

prompt: “please come back” (alt no.10)

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

hi people! i promise tomorrow i’m gonna actually do one of the main prompts lol. anyway this is pretty light emotional whump but what can i say. thats just how it went. hope u enjoy? this is set during the lawsuit.

Eddie’s drunk. Not mind-numbingly, not enough to make any seriously bad decisions, but drunk enough to be...inhibited. He’s alone. Chris is at the Wilsons’ for a sleepover. Shannon is gone. Buck is...where is Buck?

At home, his brain supplies. Not quite, he thinks. There’s something else...something which is completely escaping him at the moment.

Whatever that something is, he figures, it’s nothing that would keep them apart. He laughs at himself for even thinking that. As though anything would ever keep them apart! And seeing as there’s nothing separating them save for distance, he decides to call Buck and see whether he wants to hang out.

His phone rings and rings and rings, then goes to voicemail. He pulls it away from his ear, looking at the screen to make sure he’d hit the right contact, even as Buck’s recorded voice comes through the speaker. “This is Buck, I’m not here right now…”

Maybe he’s busy. His hands might be full, Eddie figures. He’ll call back in a minute.

Thirty seconds later, the phone is ringing again. And ringing, and ringing…

“This is Buck, I’m not here right now…”

Eddie sighs, hanging up. Buck always answers. Some nagging thing in the back of his mind says that there is a reason Buck isn’t answering, but he ignores it. What if something’s wrong? What if Buck needs him? (What if he needs Buck?)

He’s too drunk to drive, but that’s okay. A walk will do him good, he thinks, maybe sober him up a little so he’s not falling over on Buck’s doorstep.

Halfway through his walk, the thought occurs to him that he could’ve gotten an Uber. It’s started to rain, heavy drops falling through the dark sky. No point in calling one now, Eddie figures. He’s already wet. He walks a little faster.

He arrives at the door of Buck’s apartment soaked and slightly shivering, despite the warm night. He feels a bit less drunk, though still out of it, and the nagging feeling of there being something up with Buck returns to his mind. He knocks, leaning against the doorframe, wondering for the first time whether this wasn’t a stupid idea. Maybe Buck’s out for the night. Maybe he has someone over (the thought barely crosses his mind before he’s dismissing it, for reasons he doesn’t entirely understand). But he’s here now, and he thinks it would be more stupid to not at least knock.

He knocks, and waits. Footsteps approach the door, which he slumps against in relief. Buck’s home. His mind begins to formulate more what-ifs and why’s, but he’s stopped from thinking through them by the door opening.

He half falls over as the door swings open, catching himself with a hand against the doorframe. He looks up, and smiles. Buck’s here.

But he looks…angry isn’t the right word, though it’s one that comes to mind. Confused, maybe. Surprised. Definitely not glad to see him.

“What are you doing here?” Buck asks, and he sounds almost accusatory. Eddie flinches back reflexively.

“Wanted t’ see you,” he says, the slightly slurred words slipping out of his mouth before he can think of anything better to say.

“Eddie, you can’t,” Buck says, sounding a little worried now. Eddie doesn’t like that. The last thing he wants is for Buck to worry.

“Why?” he asks.

“Are you drunk?” Buck asks, and now there is no mistaking the worry. “Eddie, you can’t be here. The lawsuit?”

And shit. He does remember now. His whole body shivers with the sudden realization, and he turns to leave, nearly tripping over his own feet, turning his face to the ground to hide the tears forming in his eyes.

An arm around his bicep stops him in his tracks. Before he can ask “what’re you doing?” Buck is dragging him inside and closing the door, then walking away towards the stairs, leaving Eddie dripping water onto the kitchen floor.

He stares after Buck, blinking the tears out of his eyes, thoughts racing through his mind as quickly as they can. He’s at Buck’s. Buck is mad at him. They are not supposed to see each other. He is drunk enough to have forgotten that fact. He’d forgotten. How had he forgotten that he wasn’t allowed to see his best friend? Why had Buck decided to do this stupid lawsuit anyway? Why had Buck even let him into his house?

Eddie is jolted out of his rapidly spiraling thoughts by Buck throwing a towel and some clothes (his own clothes, he recognizes, left over from the last time a Buckley-Diaz movie night had turned into a Buckley-Diaz sleepover) at him, a little harder than is necessary. He wordlessly points to the bathroom. Eddie hurries off towards it before Buck can change his mind and kick him out.

Once in the bathroom, Eddie barely restrains himself from sinking down to the floor against the door. He shouldn’t be here. Buck clearly doesn’t want him here, even if he’s letting him stay. He looks down at the clothes in his hands, brings them up to his face. They smell like Buck. He smiles reflexively, then begins the slow process of stripping out of his soaked clothes, drying off, and putting on the dry ones.

Once he finishes that task, Eddie feels slightly more steady, slightly less drunk, and a hell of a lot more embarrassed. He’d come here on pure instinct, too out of it to realize that he wasn’t wanted, and now he’s in Buck’s bathroom wearing his own clothes that smell like Buck, who is in the same apartment as him but might as well be a thousand miles away.

He briefly debates just staying in the bathroom forever. Buck is going to kick him out, and then he’ll have to go home alone in the pouring rain, and everything will be exactly the same and he’d still miss Buck even though he’s right there…

“Eddie?” There’s a knock at the door.

“Coming,” Eddie says quietly, dropping his wet clothes into Buck’s laundry hamper in the vain hope that, later, Buck will wash them and ask Eddie to come back over and get them.

He opens the door. Buck is standing there, the ghost of a smile on his face, his hands wrapped around a steaming mug (Eddie’s favorite mug, he notices, and tries not to notice that he’s noticed).

Buck hands the mug to Eddie, who wraps his lightly trembling hands around it. It’s hot chocolate, Eddie realizes, the kind Buck sometimes makes for Chris on chilly days. The thought almost makes him smile, were it not for the fact that he feels like crying.

“Come sit down,” Buck says, and walks to the couch before Eddie can say anything in response. He follows numbly, focusing on the warmth of the mug slowly seeping into his hands.

A moment later, the two of them are settled into their usual spots on the couch, and Eddie is staring into the mug of hot chocolate so that he doesn’t have to look at Buck. So that Buck can’t see the emotions that he knows are written clearly across his face. He really wishes he felt a little less drunk, a little more in control.

“What were you doing, coming here in the rain half-drunk when we’re not supposed to see each other?” Buck asks, and he sounds genuinely concerned, rather than angry. Eddie relaxes minutely, risks a glance at the other man.

“I didn’t think,” he says, honestly, hating the way his voice nearly breaks. “I knew there was something...something I was forgetting, about you, but I couldn’t think of what it was. I was drunk and alone and I wanted to see you.”

He’d usually never be this honest about this kind of thing. He’s half-glad to finally speak his feelings aloud, half-mortified of the truth that’s come out of him. The glad, drunk part of him wins out over the mortified, sober part, and before he knows it, he’s talking again.

“I wanted to see you,” he repeats, hopping back onto his train of thought, ignoring the way his voice definitely breaks. “I missed you. I miss you so much, but you’re right here. You’re right here and I can’t even see you and I miss you so much and I don’t want you to leave, not after Shannon- after she left, and I just want to be around you again. Please come back, Buck.”

“Eddie,” says Buck, and his voice is soft, softer than Eddie deserves for being here, for being weak, for telling him all of that…

A soft hand brushes under his eyes. He hadn’t even realized that he was crying. Now that his attention‘s been drawn to it, though, he can’t seem to stop. A broken sob escapes him, and suddenly Buck’s arms are around him, warm and comforting, and Buck is speaking softly into his hair.

“I never wanted to leave, Eds. I was...I was angry and hurting and I thought that this would fix my problems. I didn’t know how far it would go. Maybe I should have, I dunno. But I didn’t think. All I want is to get my job back, get my family back. I want to come back, to the 118, to you, Eddie. That’s all this has ever been about. Please believe me. I never wanted to leave you.”

Eddie sniffs, burying his face deeper into Buck’s shoulder. “I believe you,” he whispers, his voice scratchy and quiet. “‘M sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Buck says. “I was hurt, but I didn’t think about how much this might hurt you too.”

Eddie nods into the fabric of Buck’s shirt, taking a deep breath. He pulls away from Buck’s arms, dragging a hand down his tear-streaked face. God, he’s exhausted.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, almost laughing. Almost laughing with his best friend, who is right here and not upset with him and not leaving him and -

“Hey, hey, Eddie, what’s wrong?”

Eddie shrugs. “I missed you,” he says, not bothering to wipe his tears away this time.

“I missed you too.”

thanks for reading this!! it might suck idk but oh well. such is life.

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday2 #please come back #911 #eddie diaz #emotional whump #crying #comfort #my writing #i say things #off to watch pson now!#febuwhump 2021 #febuwhump day 2

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celawrites · 4 years

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Day 23

My typing is interrupted by the banging of my car window. I spare a glance and see Pebble trying to get in. I unlock the car, and she slips in beside me. It’s silent for a bit before she speaks up.

“Can I do you a favor?”

“Depends”

“Am I allowed to crash the confession?”

“No. Z said he’d get footage of everything. Besides, why does it matter?”

“bECAUSE THE WHOLE SCHOOL’S GONNA OWE YOU TWO MONEY?”

“Sounds like a win for me”

“Ok but. She obviously isn’t the person he needs, and at this point, I’m pretty sure he’s no longer interested in her. Why can’t we crash it? He probably won’t even be able to reject her!”

I hum. “He’s not that weak. He knows, and has his boundaries. I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you, you’ll get premature wrinkles from all that forwning.”

“Rude. But really, do you not want to go? Wouldn’t it be better to go and crash it yourself?”

“As much as I enjoy having a little fun once in a while, I don’t exactly plan on being a homewrecker”

“What if he agrees? Then the whole school just calls off the bet? You two are destined for each other! We’ve all confirmed it years ago! Please”

“What’s wrong with taking your sweet time?”

“It’s hell, that’s what.”

“Language, we’re on school grounds”

“Are you not frustrated? You’ve been crushing on him for years! And now you’re just going to let her have him? You’re not that kind of person Crescent. Please” Pebble pulls her hair in exasperation.

“Of course I’m bothered. What can I do about it though? I’m not jeopardizing our friendship over a girl and hormones. If you expect me to do something, then I’ll let you know that I’m staying on the sidelines for this. Madison is an unnecessary interruption to my life and I couldn’t care less about how much she likes Sun” I seeth.

“Ok. Whether or not you want to believe it, she’s not even into Sun. This would essentially be giving away your love to someone who doesn’t deserve him. Do you want him to get hurt? Torn apart, and then abandoned? Madison doesn’t love him! She never will. Because her entire life here was to get all the boys wrapped around her finger so she could feel superior to us. I thought we’d catch a break since she was going to college or something.” Pebble mumbled.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t want it to happen. But there isn’t much I want to do about it. If Madison wants to piss me off then she can go ahead and do it. I mean she was suspended for a reason.” I sip the cold coffee I got at 3am. “If she wants to continue living in her own imagination then she can go ahead. I don’t care. Sun’s also his own person, what am I gonna do? Whisk him away?”

“You could. But you wouldn’t”

“yEp!” I grin. It hurts to see someone else live out your dream. But then again, I’m not invested enough to fight Madison over a classmate I won’t ever see again after this year.

“Let’s get going. The bell rings in 5” I sigh. The two of us get out of the car, and head to the hallways. My mind had been cloudy all day. The look everyone gives me, one of sympathy, one that begs me to do something about it, anything, there are a few smirks though. The little left of Madison’s “clique” or whatever she called them. A hand makes contact with my head and I visibly relax.

“Morning Cress” It’s Sun.

“Morning Mr. ‘next big bf material’”

“You salty 3 year old”

“Did you expect me to be in a good mood?” I grumble.

“Not really. Z said he’d get the rejection on camera. I’ll deliver my point across. I promise” His voice is soft, and in my ever-loving personality to ruin things, I deliver a snarky remark.

“Ew you’re speaking to me as if we’re already dating or something” I gag. “I trust you. I may be a clingy ass admirer of yours but I like you too much to force you into anything”

“Way to ruin the moment.” He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of getting a girlfriend”

“Aww. Have fun watching her cause a scene. Make sure you don’t get too drunk”

“We’re not even allowed to drink yet?”

“Idk make sure Z doesn’t get to the drinks. I don’t want to be taking care of a drunk Z again.”

“Well then, more the reason to have you suffer” I puff my cheeks. “Where’s Madison? Shouldn’t she be clinging onto you or something?”

“Why? You want her to be around?”

“She’s planning the party right now!” someone screams. I think it might’ve been Opal.

The first bell rings, and everyone’s filing to get to class. My mind wanders insanely today, I hate it. My teachers seem to have known what was going to happen today, so most of them let me off the hook. Except for my English teacher. It’s my last period before homeroom so most of the thoughts have disappeared.

“Miss Crescent”

“Sorry Sir”

“Troubles can be turned into words, and words can be turned into stories. I trust you know that?”

I nod. He had a point, maybe an angst blurb would be a nice treat for my blog followers. My hands get to work and I type away. My teacher smiles and my mind is on a one-track focus. When the bell for homeroom rings, I don’t move. Sun has to drag me to our room while I still type away. Our homeroom teacher is understanding, she lets me type away while we go over anything new. My final sentence to the blurb is finished, and I barely catch my teacher’s words.

“The party later. It will be held at the park” The class looks at her in confusion. Wasn’t it supposed to be at Madison’s house?

“There was a change of plans on her part. She wants to watch you” She points at me. “Get your heart broken when our Valedictorian accepts her confession. Which isn’t happening but I mean it’d be nice to watch right?”

My mind goes blank. Was she that much of a sadist? Our class erupts into a violent argument. Saying things about how she just got back how could she do this. My thoughts go back to being a mess, and I’m crying all over again. They’re silent tears, the ones where you don’t whimper or feel anything, just pure tears, honest ones that you can’t control. I’m not sad, why am I crying? Does this mean more than I thought to me? Would I ever catch a break? Or was this about the angst prompt I just wrote? Am I getting too in character? Am I just reflecting on things in the past? Perhaps I’m we-

A rough hand wipes my tears. One that I recognize. It isn’t the pair of hands that I hang out with daily, it’s an old friend’s. One that feels like hours of sports and roughhousing.

“M-mint” I stutter.

“Shhh. I’m here. Go ahead and let it out” I duck my head lower and start to sniffle. I see Sam panting at the doorway, he must’ve fetched him for me. My class is in confusion, Mint and I never talk or hang out openly. So why is he here? I don’t question anything. My tears aren’t controllable, and only when I pass out from exhaustion do I stop crying.

The class calms down slightly after I drop from exhaustion. Mint doesn’t leave, and ends up helping me note down what needed to be worked on for our school. I’m told that Sun doesn’t leave until he gets dragged to the party by his brother. I was out for a good 3 hours.

It’s nearly 6 when I wake up.

“Sleep well?”

“Thank you. I still wonder why we don’t hang out in school more”

“You said it yourself that Opal would murder you”

“She likes you. I don’t like getting involved with unnecessary drama”

“Yet you ended up having beef with Astra and Madison”

“Both of them were the result of them, not me”

“You’re a strange one”

“You got yourself into this mess when you moved here”

“Wanna head over to my place for dinner? Mom misses you”

“I could never miss out on a chance to see my favorite mother figure”

“Might as well call her mom at this point”

Ping! Z has requested a voice call

“Is it happening?” I can barely contain my excitement.

“yeS YES YES IT ISSS” Z screeches. “But before that. Are you feeling better? I heard you broke down again”

“No worries! I’m good now.” I grin, Mint gives me side glance, one that doesn’t believe me.

“That’s probably a lie but you seem excited so here!”

Sure enough, on the other side is Madison and Sun. The group goes silent, and everyone watches the two in anticipation.

“Uh. I’m sure you know already but.” She twirls her hair in between her fingers. “I like you. Please go out with me!”

I hear everyone hold their breath in anticipation.

“I-I don’t see you in that light” I hear Sun whisper out. “B-but! You have one date. To prove to me that you’ll be the best girlfriend”

Everyone there gawks at the words. I hear Z let out a dumbass, and soon, Madison pulls Sun in for a hug. My throat tightens up and I feel my breathing grow ragged. Z is quick to end the call before he punches his brother and Mint offers to have me stay the night at his home.

“You don’t have to. But it really looks like you need some company”

I nod weakly, and he drives us to his place. The home is empty, and his brother is quick to rush me into a blanket fort. His family had always been mine. Maybe I was selfish to think that we shouldn’t hang out openly at school. Too much had been on my mind lately, I had forgotten to take time and relax.

The rest of the day is quiet at his home. His brother calmed down so that I could get some peace, and his mom promised to talk to me about it the next day. Maybe that was why I found myself ignoring the notifications on my phone when I was almost asleep.

Previous : Masterlist : Next

#angst #THERES ACTUAL ANGST TODAY HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA #A little fluff #fluff #pain #ouch why do I do this to my ocs #my ocs #writing #first person #confessions and heartbreak #365 days #365 days of writing #365 days of rejection #project #quarantine project #time to cRY HAHA

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kenobios · 4 years

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rotj: my thoughts

positives and negatives. spoilers ahead

so, i wasn’t gonna write one of these but i felt i needed to get some stuff off my chest so i can move on. i was just gonna pretend this movie didn’t happen but i think i can come to eventually accept that it did now that i’ve had time to digest everything.

POSITIVES:

- honestly... from my first viewing there isn’t a lot i like. but i’m sure this will improve the more i watch the film and actually have the chance to form an opinion on more things within such a hectic onslaught of information. - i laughed. c3po and that little fixer dude were genuinely funny (to me). dio (sp?) was super cute too. tbh i never cared much for droids (my obi-wan is coming thru here) but i actually enjoyed them so that’s a win for me - very pretty film. visually spectacular. - fast-paced. not boring for a second (to me). kept me entertained. - rey’s yellow lightsaber. i actually liked this even tho it doesn’t match up with current canon (yellow being for temple guards). it reminded me of bastila and i was just waiting for her to show it off as a double-sided saber... which i didn’t get but it still looked like it was built for it so i’ll take the win. - the idea of palpatine being powerful again but it would have been cool to see a younger version of himself - rey and ben teaming up and the intimate moment they shared which felt genuinely beautiful and was one of the highlights for me

now here’s the ISSUES i have off the top of my head, some of them having been mentioned on this blog before:

- the trio. everyone else has already said it. forced and uncomfortable. it felt like they were setting up a love triangle for the first half of the movie as well, which was weird. when they had poe and rey have those ‘moments’ or when they bickered with each other i was like ‘they better not be tryna spring up some hanleia dynamic on us for the last film between these two’ especially while also baiting finnrey (which is never touched upon again after the first half of the movie, yikes)

- towards the end of the film, i turned to the person next to me and said “this reminds me of a video game plot” - i couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that was, but it was just a feeling. and not a deep, thorough video game plot either. another reviewer said something similar. it’s just... very shallow, expository and it feels like it’s dragging you and the characters through very railroaded and forced missions/battles. i mean at the start they’re really just looking for something, going to someone, that person says they need to talk to someone else for the thing, they go to another person, etc. which is a type of mission device used in games as well. it also felt to me like one of those japanese otome games where rey is the bland female character that all the male characters fall for (poe, finn, kylo) and she gets her pick of which one she wants to romance, which was cringe.

- i didn’t hear the characters. i only heard what they were forcing the characters to say in order to progress the plot or explain the plot. the characters themselves became faceless inserts for exposition. so many times i heard a character say something and thought... that was a jarring piece of dialogue that seems both out of character and unnatural to say at that point in time.

- although i said being fast-paced could be a positive, it was largely a negative for me. at one point it felt like slide transitions were happening at minute intervals. a major plot point would be revealed and then no time is given to process, it’s onto the next major scene. this left everything feeling very rushed and messy, which i believe is due to half the film being cut for time constraints.

- each character is either twisted into an unrecognisable character, or ignored/not given the time they deserve. rey? blank slate female protag with a famous bloodline and who barely reacts to the things going on around her (leia dying, ben dying, she disregards her ‘friends’ on multiple occasions). like others, i always defended rey’s abilities, but this film is too much. she has been made a mary sue. finn? rendered nothing but the ‘friend’ pining after a girl and only briefly gets time with his own story which is never fully explored in this film by any means. poe? turned into a grumpy, seemingly jealous ‘friend’ with a shady past that felt like they were trying to make him the ‘han solo’ of the trio rather than going with what we already know about his character. leia? now this is hard, and i respect what they tried to do, but i still felt like her death could have been done a bit better rather than the quick ‘shock’ moment it was. also the stuff with luke training her is a no for me. way too shoe-horned and part of what made leia cool to me was that she was a skywalker but didn’t need to be a jedi. her powers were elsewhere. kylo? don’t get me started. rose? who? she may as well not have been in this movie with the way they ignored her character and showed how little the other characters care about her. it broke my heart.

- rey palpatine? though i’m a rey kenobi fan, i was happy with rey nobody. i liked what it stood for. i didn’t mind the idea of rey palpatine in theory, but the way they force-fed this to us in the film rather than building it up left a bad taste in my mouth and i’m going to have to pass on it. if they wanted to have her related to palpatine, they should have just made her a clone imo. it would have matched with what was being built up prior (in tlj with the clones in the cave), it would have explained her ties to the dark side, it would have completed the palpatine/skywalker poetry, and it would have still been congruent with her being a ‘nobody’ since that’s essentially what clones are seen as in star wars. also we wouldn’t have to think about the fact palpatine got laid. laboratories were already set up in jakku by palpatine. cloning itself was shown in rots anyway (snoke) so?

- although i’ve wanted ben to be redeemed... it still felt too rushed in this film. also, he does display some toxic tendencies as kylo ren towards rey (trying to manipulate her to go with him) which didn’t sit well with me but i didn’t really see ben/kylo ren in his scenes sometimes anyway, since he was also forcibly used to give exposition to us/rey. i did like his scene with his mother and father in the film but i just needed more than that to really feel his redemption rather than the quick switch we got.

- i originally wasn’t okay with the whole ‘bringing someone back to life through the force’ thing since i always liked the idea palpatine was just saying that to honeypot anakin, but decided i’m willing to accept it as a unique ability they had for each other due to their force bond. but then... ben dies anyway. and it’s done in such a way that leaves you feeling ‘wtf just happened?’. it was random, forced, didn’t feel necessary and it just... happened. no one reacted to it. he wasn’t referred to or mentioned after this. the last skywalker goes out just like that. poof. okay. so was this a shock death or was jj genuinely trying to appease people who didn’t think ben deserved redemption or to live? either way ben lived such a sad, cruel, manipulated life that his death seemed unfair and we’re all supposed to think this movie is hopeful and celebrate a few minutes later? i don’t think so. in fact, everything that happens after that scene feels incredibly uncomfortable because of the massive tonal shift.

- the kiss. ok don’t hate me. i enjoy reylo. but i honestly think the kiss wasn’t exactly... needed? maybe it was just because everything else felt so forced but it felt a little forced in this scene for me. for me, the hug ben gave rey just beforehand spoke more volumes of their intimacy. i did mention their intimate moments above as a positive, so i still like this overall moment (in addition to the moment rey heals him). but the hug spoke enough to me that it would have been nice to keep it more subtle yet obvious enough (thanks to their acting) that they cared deeply for one another. but then again, this is what i felt before i knew ben died, so. idk. i guess it would suck for ben to die without having kissed rey? how about just don’t kill ben off. have them hug instead of kiss and then leave us to fill in the gaps as they both live. how about that.

- the rey skywalker thing is embarrassing. and rey ended up alone in the desert... just how she started. i just can’t. by the time this came on the screen i was ready to leave. i only stayed because i HOPED there would be an after credits showing her on the falcon, or her training finn to be a jedi, or her speaking with any of the force ghosts (luke or ben or anakin).

- speaking of which. why were there no force ghosts in the scene where she fights palpatine? we just get voices? that scene really lacked impact and the whole fight sequence just felt blah. palpatine came back super strong and then he was gone in moments. there should have a) been force ghosts or some kind of visual presence of the jedi to help rey whether physically or just boosting morale and b) ben should have fought palpatine with her.

- why is rey alone in the desert? i honestly didn’t think this meant she was going to be a hermit until i came online and saw that’s what everyone else thought. but just... why? why is she not passing on the jedi ways she fought to keep alive? or the knowledge she has gained/kept in the sacred jedi texts she stole? surely not. surely that is her plan. surely ben saved her not just because he loved her but also because she can carry on the skywalker legacy NOT by dying alone in a desert but by training new jedi. (which, again, SHOULD HAVE BEEN FINN AS THE FIRST NEW JEDI!) or better yet, a new type of jedi that don’t follow toxic ways but that incorporate both the light and dark side of the force like she does? and calling THEM skywalkers? but nope. instead she ended up back where she started. except with less personality this time.

- i can’t talk enough about how cool it would have been to have jedi!finn at the end. talk about coming full circle from the promo baits they had for TFA of finn with the lightsaber. AT LEAST GIVE US THIS.

- the whole movie just felt like a massive disrespect to the previous film. everything rian built was trampled on, retconned or ignored. say what you want about tlj and rian, but this is what happens when you ignore or try to retcon the preceding film whether you like it or not. everything feels messy and the plots get screwed up. this movie would have been largely different (better) had they not tried so hard to pretend tlj didn’t exist. even if you didn’t like it, take the plot and mould it into something you do like. don’t just toss it aside and lose all sense of continuity between the films. i don’t blame jj for this exactly, but rather the disney committee that were too afraid to acknowledge tlj’s existence due to the reception it got from fans and thus felt the need to have jj ‘fix/retcon’ things rather than build upon/improve things.

- oh yeah hux. that happened, i guess. i thought it was weird and it kinda sucked that they did that. who cares about the new guy? general pride or whatever? no one. surely making general hux more menacing couldn’t have been THAT hard. but no. we get a rather silly death instead. alright. at least he can forever be known as the petty king of star wars.

- there’s probably more. i could write an essay but i’m getting tired of complaining already so i’m leaving it here. if you happened to read this far and want to talk about it with me some more, my DMs are open!

overall, i just hope some canon content is going to be released, either in the form of a book or a comic, that explores more of this following the movie. i want to know more about finn’s story. i want to see whether rey does stay on tatooine or whether she trains jedi. i want to see whether she communicates with ben through the force, or just, y’know, any closure on that would be nice. i want to see the director’s cut with the other half of the movie. then, perhaps, i will know peace.

#tros spoilers #star wars #ight it's off my chest #i feel better now #even though i feel there is still more i could talk about #that's it for me

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demigodofhoolemere · 4 years

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Saw The Rise of Skywalker last night. I went in totally expecting to hate it because that tends to be the way with my favorite franchises these days and I’d heard about how bad everyone seemed to think it is. No one is more surprised than me, but... I really liked it?? I do understand why others don’t, plenty of the content is pretty subjective in terms of the tastes of individuals. But I really didn’t have all of the problems I thought I was gonna have.

Plenty of spoilers below.

~~~

Negative:

- I can really only think of one huge negative which is just knowing behind the scenes info, assuming this redditor’s source is telling the truth (looks credible to me and we already know that things have been disastrous behind the scenes of the sequel films in general so I really have no trouble believing this): https://www.reddit.com/r/saltierthancrait/comments/eisnd8/heres_what_ive_been_told_from_a_source_that/ . In which case my biggest problem is how severely Disney/Lucasfilm screwed JJ and the cast over and altered what they’d made. From the perspective of ‘this isn’t what we created anymore’, if I were among them I’d be ticked, too, and I am ticked on their behalves. I do want to see the un-altered, complete version that they did and even though I enjoyed the movie as is, I would probably enjoy that version even more because it sounds like important emotional stuff got shelved, and it didn’t deserve to be (Finn being force sensitive, dang it!). There were a couple of things that made less sense because of the way it got pared down (like the fact that Han’s appearance was apparently Leia manifesting him to Ben and that’s what sapped her strength so badly - that wasn’t made clear at all to me) and I’d love to see what it was like before it got messed with. But this knowledge is really my biggest problem. If I’d never seen this, I wouldn’t have anything truly bad to say about the released product.

Iffy:

- Re: Leia, without it being made totally clear what was happening, I thought they were repeating Padmé’s ‘lost the will to live’ send-off. It’s not something that particularly bothers me about RotS, Padmé did just have the stress of pushing two human beings out of her body all while living with the stress of her husband falling to the dark side and all of the Jedi are being murdered and the list of awfulness goes on, so even though she definitely has her kids to live for, I also know that she was undergoing unimaginable agony both physically and emotionally, and you CAN die from your body physically giving out and from broken heartstrings, so I don’t think that was stupid the way others seem to. But they needed to make what happened to Leia clearer, because I thought they were reusing that, and *that* I did think was weird, and kind of a cheap way to take her out of the picture. Not that Leia hasn’t been through hell enough for broken heartstrings, and losing her son on top of having lost her husband and brother could certainly do it, but because the movie didn’t give any further context for what was happening and what she was doing, it just looked like she passed out and then the next time we see her she’s covered with a sheet and I’m like, “Wait, that’s it?” So I do wish we’d gotten a little more in the way of explaining that sequence, so that Leia didn’t die from just passing out. That didn’t feel completely right to me. I much prefer the idea of her using up her strength to save her son.

- Leia dying at all. I get why, but... owie.

- Shortchanging Rose. I don’t feel terribly strongly about her but in any case it’s not fair to her and especially not to Kelly.

- Very convenient dagger rofl.

- The Palpatine stuff was very sudden. No prior hints anywhere. I don’t know if it’s something they decided late in the game, or if they were going to allude to it but felt TFA was too early and would have in TLJ if Rian hadn’t had such full control over doing whatever he wanted, but whatever the story there is, it felt very out of nowhere. We’re supposed to suddenly accept that Palpatine survived the fall down the shaft and has been living on life support in a cave making creepy clone Snokes. And like... it seems like the sort of crap he’d pull, so I can buy it and I’m not really too bothered, but wow. I can also get behind Rey being his granddaughter, I thought they dealt with that very well and I surprisingly enjoyed it, but again, it’s very sudden, and also because of the implications of that I have to live with the mental image of Palpatine getting it on with someone and for that alone I could have added another to the ‘negative’ list.

- So... Reylo. I constantly have mixed feelings about Reylo. I’ve very much enjoyed their force bond (one of the only things I did like in TLJ), I love the focus on redemption and good winning out, their dynamic is very interesting and I can see the allure of pairing them because of the balance of light and dark, they just have a fascinating thing going on. But I also can’t help but think about him having tortured her in TFA, and as much as I’m here for redemption and I love Rey’s heart I still think it’s weird how TLJ is like three days later at best yet she’s so ready to look past what he did to her, what he did to Han, and to plenty of other people, and those things still really aren’t acknowledged. We can have redemption without having amnesia lol, especially when those are the things he needs to redeem himself of. By all means, redeem him, I love a good redemption and I’ve found myself far more attached to his character than I would have ever expected, but don’t have Rey immediately ignore the past to do it, and... I don’t know how to feel about that kiss. Part of me liked it (especially his sweet genuine smile), but part of me still kind of goes, ‘Wait... no. Didn’t want this. Not like this.’ It’s not the affection that bothers me at all, but the fact that it’s romantic affection. I love the dynamic that’s been built between them but considering their history I’d prefer that they actually get some footing as proper friends (whether that be before anything else happens, or it just stays that way). Way too sudden for anything romantic. And really I just wish this trilogy hadn’t attempted any new romances at all, because I feel like things would be more meaningful if they were all left to be platonic friendships. There really wasn’t room for couplings in this trilogy and it sours things a bit for me that they tried to fit them in anyway. So tl;dr, I very much enjoy Rey and Ben as a dynamic but I’m more here for a platonic Reylo.

- I get the poignancy of having him use his life force to save her, I understand killing him off, but for ONCE can I have a redeemed character continue to live their new life and figure out how to navigate that? It also makes better sense to have characters like Ben try to pay for their past while they’re still, idk, alive and have the chance to do more. For once. Please. I’m not mad that they did this but I’m tired of redemption=death.

Positive:

- Pretty much everything else. I can’t believe how much I actually liked this movie.

- LANDO CALRISSIAN LANDO CALRISSIAN LANDO CALRISSIAN LANDO CALRISSIAN LANDO CALRISSIAN

- FORCE GHOSTS!!!!! ANAKIN. OBI-WAN. AHSOKA. ALL OF MY FAVORITE JEDI FOLKS. LIGHTS OF MY LIFE. I’VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THEM THIS ENTIRE TRILOGY AND I FINALLY HAVE THEM EVEN IF THEY’RE JUST VOICES. NEW HAYDEN-AS-ANAKIN CONTENT. I’M OVER THE MOON. Ahsoka must be dead then but I’m overlooking this.

- Whatever the heck they did to use the deleted Carrie Fisher footage to give us more Leia in such a seamless way... hats off.

- Seeing the sequel trio actually all be together and working as a trio. I can finally feel like they’re actually a unit.

- That hug between the three of them at the end, my heart.

- I really do adore Rey. She has such a good heart. Seeing her fight against her ancestry and adamantly trying to be a force for good makes me happy, I love that she believes so strongly in redemption despite her anger, and I love that they still keep character details like her brilliance with mechanics and the way she’ll use scrap to slide down sand hills. I’m so proud of her progress with using the force. Rey is precious and I love her.

- Ugh I love Finn, too. He has a strong spirit and he’s come so far. I love that they delved (or tried to delve) into him being force sensitive as well, and that he has such belief in it now. It made me so happy to see other former Stormtroopers who couldn’t live that life and that Finn can have those people to relate to. Can’t say enough good things about Finn. Very proud of him.

- Interesting learning more of Poe’s past, and I enjoyed getting to watch him try to be a leader in Leia’s absence and feeling like a failure, since I felt he was the least developed of the trio up to this point so I’m happy I have more to go on. He felt a lot more fleshed out in this one and I really appreciated it. I’m glad to be able to say that I genuinely love all of the new trio now, because it used to be that I casually liked them but couldn’t connect. Although I connected to Poe’s love for BB-8 from the start and that’s still going strong. Only he and Anakin have ever truly understood my droid love.

- Always a sucker for redemption arcs. I never used to have many feelings about Ben one way or another, I didn’t feel there was anything in TFA to make me like or dislike him from the get-go because it was too soon to say, but TLJ (for all my issues with it) made me care more about what happened to him, and now this movie got me super invested. Did not see this coming. I’m glad I was able to like him and be emotional about his conflict and his ending.

- Already covered this but I really like Rey and Ben’s dynamic. I loved seeing them use their force bond to their advantage and work so well as a team. And I love that her healing his wound also healed his scar, symbolically healing him of Kylo Ren. GAH.

- Han!!! Just Han.

- CHEWBACCA GETTING A MEDAL. Both incredibly emotional because that’s probably Han’s medal and incredibly satisfying because darn right he deserves a medal! In your face, ceremony scene from A New Hope! Now give them to the droids and I’ll be appeased.

- Chewbacca just generally destroying me. His wailing hurt me even more than Leia’s passing itself did. Did not need that but also thank you. (Why am I such a masochist?)

- C3PO taking one last look at his friends 😭 I cannot tell you how relieved I was that R2 really did have his memory backups, because I was fully prepared to put “C3PO losing his memories!!! 😡” under the negative column. Thank goodness for droid friendship.

- Speaking of droids, new droid! D-O really had little purpose for being there but I’m a sucker for a new cute droid to love so I’m all for him. Bring on all of the new cute droids!

- Really liked that planet with the festival. So many cute baby creatures and I loved the subtle Easter egg of 42 years referencing the original release in 1977.

- Rey healing the snake thing! I’m all for NOT shooting or killing Star Wars creatures, there’s too much of it and it makes me sad (R.I.P. Rancor, so sorry Rancor handler. And I’ve never gotten over Ratts Tyrell and his crying family and I never will. Stop killing Star Wars creatures 2k20). Rey gets me.

- Liked the new characters. Zorri was interesting and Jannah made me emotional.

- With the context of Jannah having been meant to be Lando’s daughter, the scene she has with him in the end has even more to it than on the surface (not that either of them would know, but still), but I really do just appreciate Lando reaching out to a stranger to help her uncover her past and recover her life. Sweetheart.

- I loved that Hux was the spy, and not because he cares one wit about the rebellion but just because he really hates Ben. Talk about petty.

- The fact that Palpatine was behind every voice Ben has ever heard means that he manipulated him his whole life just like he manipulated Anakin and now I hate his guts all over again for the same darn thing. Incredibly satisfying to watch him shrivel away. Screw you Palpatine.

- LUKE AND LEIA FLASHBACK. LEIA TRAINING IN THE FORCE AND OWNING A LIGHTSABER. FINALLY.

- Briefly seeing other old characters like Nien Nunb and Wedge Antilles. That kind of thing just makes my day. Also pretty sure I saw Naboo ships in that enormous fleet and I know I’m never getting Padmé back in any shape or form so I’ll take it.

- Seeing Luke’s old home wrecked me. Seeing the binary sunset wrecked me. Luke and Leia’s force Ghosts wrecked me. Rey calling herself a Skywalker wrecked me. That ending wrecked me.

I think I covered most of it which leads me to my verdict:

I understand why this isn’t popular with everybody. A lot of it is completely dependent on personal taste. Luckily for me it actually was very largely to my taste, somehow, which I never would have seen coming because I’m usually so frustrated with recent things in the big franchises like this, and after TLJ I had no trust. But I was pleasantly surprised and actually pretty satisfied. They hit a lot of nostalgia buttons for me, made me care a lot more about the new characters, made me cry a ton, and generally delivered something I could be pleased with. Don’t know how it happened but I really liked this movie and no matter what people feel about it I don’t think it deserves the sheer vitriol it’s received (there’s criticism and then there’s yikes). I thought it was a pretty good movie and I’d watch it again willingly.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #spoilers #tros spoilers #sw spoilers #sw: sequels #review

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blueskyheadleft010 · 6 years

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A few stray thoughts [Wrapping up watching Voltron S7]

But okay, first off I want to say this is obviously spoilery so don’t like, don’t read.

Also, my opinion will probs be a bit contradictory to most of the tumblr voltron fans, but bare with me here, I just wanted to point out some interesting things...

Okay so first, I just wanted to say the the ‘Family Feud’ rip off ep made me want to gag, and the only thing I liked about it was Pidge being smart enough to fool ‘Bob the host’ into letting his guard down so she could attack him.

Also, why? was it even needed? at all???? Honestly, the whole ep was like an animated bad work of fiction, and I seriously cannot believe the writers would pull this kinda crap so late in the series.

Moving on, there were points in the show that had me excited but there was also low points were I just wanted the story to move on and I felt like they were trying too hard to connect crucial moments and ended up adding in random junk because they had no idea what to fill in.

For example, the druid fight and finding Kolivan could’ve been shortened way down and honestly nothing would’ve changed.

Also, can we just talk about how Kolivan was being held? And (possibly) waterboarded?!? When I first saw that I was like, ‘woah, holy shit guys. That’s not okay. That’s not an okay thing to do/show’. That was fucking terrifying to watch, and even if he wasn’t being treated that way, the fact alone that he was being held in the air by rope in a very painful position is very scary and if Kolivan was real I would’ve been seriously concerned how tf he lasted so long without losing circulation to at least his extremities.

‘The Last Stand’ was where I began regaining my interest in the story as finally we got to see Sam back on Earth, and hot damn did he ever deliver the justice that the Garrison deserved.

I also liked Iverson not ending up being a jerk, and was honestly just trying to keep the peace and do the right thing. It was a huge improvement, and whether or not he deserved this change in character, he reminded the audience that people can change and become better, which is something I can get behind 100%. :)

(Lol, tho I totally predicted the lady commander being evil. She had her head too far up her butt to see the light of day. Doesn’t mean I agree with her dying tho :U)

Anyways, I love how Sam just ends up taking the reigns, being an overall wonderful/kind man, and laying down the law just flat out instead of trying to play nice and let Earth be mowed over by the Galra. (Would’ve liked to have heard from other global powers about what their thoughts were on this whole plan, but meh I guess that would’ve been too crazy to write with everything else going on.)

What I didn’t expect was how long they were going to focus on the Garrison arc, and like, all the people inside. Like, that’s fine I guess? but it made me worry that we were going to be seeing something like Go!Lion or have another voltron team or something, and really the only 2 people on the fighter team we knew were Keith’s rival? and Lance’s sister, but the other people might as well have just been random civilians because idk what their background was other than they were good pilots.

(also was the blond chick autistic or something? idk she just seemed a little less socially adept and more like a calculating computer, and god would I have loved it if they said she was and showed more about her and the other people because I can just sense a story behind them...)

It was cool seeing Earth tech and Altean tech work to make the Atlas, but seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!? You just HAD to make another voltron toy to sell didn’t you Dreamworks? V_V

Why did you make Shiro be the pilot? Why did the Atlas have to become the new Castle of the Lions? How come Coran couldn’t help with anything aboard it? HOW COME THE SHIP DIDN’T FREAKING BLOW UP AFTER THAT FIRST SPACE SHOT?!?

All of this felt weird and odd, and like now that it is the new CotL, idk what to think. It’s just odd to have a bunch of military/space cadets running about on a ship and listening to young adults/teenaged voltron pilots tell them what to do to help in a war.

Also, how come we didn’t see anything about the humans as slaves in Galra encampments? Like, is humanity screwed now? The galara did blow up their satellites, how will Earth work the same?

This was literally 9/11-WWIV to them. Which is so bizarre.

The paladins literally came back to an Earth that, for all they knew, was completely obliterated, and they were just walking over corpses. (There had to be some. There was no way every human on that planet evacuated in time.) That thought alone is weird to think about in a Y7 kids production.

Not to mention the fact that this even happened at all?? Like, I get the fear of Earth being destroyed is a terrifying thing, but the writers just kept dangling it over our heads so much that for a bit I genuinely believed that the amount of bs going on against the heroes would just pile up and the Earth was just going to be fucking obliterated by how many holes were in their plans. The only thing keeping me from that was the fact that there would be no show if they did that, but that’s not a very comforting thought, nor does it make me want to root for everyone. What’s the point when you know how it’s going to end?

Idk, it was so out of place I felt like I was watching an entirely different show. Since when did the paladins ever fight like military pilots? Why and how were there random pockets of human resistance that could somehow communicate to each other? How tf did the Garrison come up with tech to stop the drones from sending out signals to each other? Why didn’t they use that to stop Sendak’s ships???

Granted, there was some solid planning (mostly from Sam) that was genuinely smart (like the mini satellites they used that were too tiny and so many that the Galra couldn’t shoot at them); but most of everything after ‘The Last Stand’ episodes became a giant martyr after giant martyr of the team defying the odds but not having time to catch their breath. And that last robeast? I get why they needed to show off where the Altean colony went to, but the fight was lackluster compared to fighting Sendak’s whole fucking army and winning. (Even Allura complains about this, showing how self aware this show actually is when they put their thinking hats on).

The fact that the robeast was even that fucking powerful in the first place was insanity and why would you even have an impossible to beat villain take down the most hard to kill heroic team anyways? Aren’t we trying to show how friendship saves the day? Why give Shiro that credit? What the hell does he have that the paladins don't?

Apparently a big fucking ship named Atlas. That’s what.

And now we move onto my biggest grievance: The deaths and near-deaths of characters.

Why. Just why?

It was so poorly done, and kinda random. Adam didn’t get the screen time the writers were building up for him. All of Shiro’s problems, his degenerative disease, his near death again after the clone body tried to reject him (which ‘thank you Shiro’ we ‘totally’ need to be reminded how much shit you went through when you were talking with Lance about it. Not cool), and then his new arm trying to kill him? Dealt with in like 5 seconds. False alarm! Shiro’s totally not gonna die this time! ( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)

But I think the worst one was at the end when Shiro is giving that speech to the humans with the lions standing behind him not online after we’d just seen them crash land on Earth in a fiery blaze, and honestly??? I thought they were dead.

Goodbye my sweet precious babies, you died protecting Earth and now the fucking Garrison is gonna end up showing those knock-off paladin cadets into the lions and things are gonna be okay again~!

No joke, that’s what I thought.

But then suddenly they’re fine? In a hospital??? Why???? WHAT?!?!?!?

Cue music overture with a montage of everyone’s families and friends coming to say hello to them (instead of explaining wtf happened to all of them) and lots of hugging and oh yeah we forgot about Matt so here’s two frames of him with his weird android girlfriend? thing and long ponytailed head.

Cute, real heartwarmer with Shay suddenly having an entire fucking Balmeran transport her to Hunk. (omg think of how that’s affecting Earth’s gravity atm, the ocean tides r gonna b so screwed over).

Anyways, I did begrudgingly like the new season; but only barely, and I was nowhere near as excited watching this one as I was with previous seasons. There was too much testing my suspension of disbelief, not enough breathers during the last bit, and just overall confusion from all the devastation and chaos caused by Sendak. (Where the hell is Haggar?????)

Overall the story seemed to be trying too hard, and I’m not happy with that. I want Season 8 to smooth over some of this, but I don’t have the highest of hopes. I honestly just want to see my paladin children happy and not fighting a war, and I don’t want to focus on random secondary characters anymore. I want fulfillment, I want the paladins to come to some sense of self satisfaction and growth, regardless of the shipping.

Season 7 took two steps forwards and two steps back with the character development. They progressed Hunk and Sam, but regressed Lance and the others a bit. Coran has officially become the doorstop, with Shiro getting a whole army to command, and random secondary cadets acting like their the lead characters of the show.

I don’t want that. I want the normalcy the show has had up till now. I just want back regular Voltron.

#voltron #vld s7 spoilers #vld s7 review #review #analysis #my thoughts #not my voltron #rambling

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leoncillo · 6 years

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Okay, so idk if this is gonna turn into a theory or not I just need to...process things.

Why was Steven able to access Pink's memories?

When I think of the similarities between Steven's other emotional/spiritual reactions to gems, they all had one thing in common: the gems were feeling deep rooted negative emotion. When Lapis was still trapped under the sea with Jasper and fighting with herself and her purpose in the chaos, Steven found her through dreaming. When Steven started crying Blue's tears, Blue was shown to still be mourning. Then, in Jungle Moon, we see that was the exact planet and area Pink Diamond had her breakdown. Surprisingly..well not really, Steven has been able to soothe or eventually get the gems out of their moods. Lapis was freed, Blue finally got her trial, but what about Pink? Steven even helped the Cluster calm down!

Pink Diamond is defective.

She's significantly smaller than the other diamonds. While I was disappointed that she didn't look like what most of the fandom pictured, her characterization makes sense. As the youngest myself, I know what it's like to not feel equal to a sibling. People always say "Oh, someday it'll happen." "You're not ready yet." Yeah she's a brat, but she has reason to be. Gems are born with a purpose. All gems even diamonds. So imagine when you're supposed to be one of the most powerful beings known to your kind and you're born, in the eyes of others, as being less than so. Pink Diamond was supposed to have what they had because that's what she was born for, she knew this, and Homeworld never liked to deviate from roles you were supposed to be. Yet, they did so to her. Her mural making her look a lot stronger and mightier than she was was more than likely for propaganda purposes. So lesser gems didn't know a diamond could be born defective. That a diamond could be imperfect.

Pink and her gems obviously represent the "heart" of the gem civilization.

Gems created under Pink Diamond are fiery, strong, stubborn, and will fight for what they believe in. Noticeably more free...whether they used that freedom for good or bad varied. Think of the quartz soldiers at the Zoo, they acted more like a family than a military unit. Rose and all of her dates with Greg and making Steven, the flowers, strawberry fields, etc. Whereas gems created under the other diamonds seemed to be more accepting that they were just numbers to their diamonds. They were weak willed and did what they were told. Pink Diamond had power. Not through sheer force or size, but her heart. If Jasper, the most famous war hero known to gemkind on Homeworld (?), is any indication, then Pink Diamond's army was a real threat. Not just to organic life on potential colonies, but to the other armies of her sisters.

Do I think one of the diamonds killed her?

Not necessarily. I wouldn't put it past them to have had plans to take her down a notch. They definitely knew what power her gems held since Yellow took Jasper for herself and all the other Rose Quartz were bubbled as a precaution. I don't think they wanted to kill her, though.

Could she have shattered herself?

This theory is what's currently winning in my mind right now. For one, Pink shattered an image of herself in a window. When does the Crewniverse ever do something like that without meaning? Never. Although, the mere fact that her image shattered could've been just general foreshadowing to her downfall, but considering PD did it herself, I'm going with it being herself as the culprit. Also, only a diamond can damage a diamond. So if none of her sisters did, then she's the only other option. How the whole scenario could've went down for their to have been "witnesses" to see her get shattered with a sword, I don't know. Tbh, it doesn't add up at all at this point. So either someone is lying or forgot some very important details.

Why would Pink Diamond want to die?

We've all been there before. We've all idolized something or someone based simply on what we saw on the outside. Only for it to turn out to be a horrible job, title, etc. Take adulthood, for example. When you were a kid, you probably wanted to grow up really quickly. You wanted to get to stay out late, shave, date, drive, what have you. You never considered what else comes with growing up. Tons of emotion and heartbreak, bills, losses, TAXES (jk but not), money to pay for gas to drive that car. I could go on. While I wasn't exactly a perfectly happy child, adulthood still hit me like truck...especially when I tried to enter it too quickly.

Pink was the baby sister. She didn't have a single colony, planet, army,...pearl?... anything. Honestly, did any of the other lesser gems even see her outside of murals until she got a court and entourage? Probably not. So what you have here are all the things to entice someone to want to grow up too quickly. Not treat them as an equal (sometimes you can't in human standards with age, but in gem standards your role was supposed to be absolute), isolate them, and tell them "someday" and "because I said so".

So one or all of the other sisters probably relented and got her a tiny little planet to look after. For all we know, she probably got some fancy limb enhancers to make her a little taller like she's putting on her sister's heels. She got a palaquin and apparently a pearl and entourage. Although something still seems off about that...Did they even give her guards? They should've and you would think they would've, but did they?

Anyway, after a few centuries/millennia on Earth, Pink probably became disenchanted with the whole idea of being a diamond and ruler. She didn't think it'd be that much work or she just wasn't agreeing with Homeworld's mentality. Something happened. Maybe she came to love the planet and the organic life, love her gems as more than just servants (who we've yet to hear say anything bad about her and Big Bad Jasper seemed genuinely distraught just thinking of her). Maybe she didn't want her gems caught up in Homeworld crap and thought they deserved better and deserved to be whatever they wanted to be. However, her colony was creating the best soldiers, you think her sisters would just let her stop?

So maybe Pink decided to secretly fight back and became close with Rose who shared her same views of the world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Rose was already labeled a criminal before Pink was shattered. Maybe she sent Rose to "rebel" and disrupt gem activity on Earth to not only stop Homeworld from draining Earth but to take a stand. This could've backfired in her face when her sisters truly believed she didn't have a grip on the situation and sent their soldiers to correct the issue.

Pink seeing she effed up and just put her gems and world in danger, probably freaked out. There was probably bickering amongst them Y: "This is why we didn't give you a colony!" B: "You weren't ready!" P: "I don't want to do this anymore! It's wrong!" Her sisters probably wanted to wipe Earth off the map or at least start over with someone else at the helm, but Pink wouldn't risk it. She loved her first and only colony. It was small, but it was hers. She found her OWN place and purpose.

Idk what events would lead up to her shattering herself (and I'm pretty sure her shards are bubbled somewhere ready to be healed). But maybe she did set up a clever scheme to make it look like one of her own did it. The sisters would hesitate if gems from Earth could take out one of their own and back off. Or maybe it wasn't a scheme and she was found on the verge of doing it herself and the gem that found her couldn't stop her in time. She wanted the responsibility not knowing what all it entailed, what all she would feel, the pressure (did I just make a gem joke?), what all she would wanna fight for. She just wanted to be important like them for so long and when she finally found herself but wasn't accepted for it...she couldn't take it anymore.

#steven universe #su #su theories #pink diamond #why do these always turn out so long?#im sorry its so long #cant read more on mobile

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sceawere · 6 years

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We’ve lost more than just the plot: my thoughts on the season 4 finale

I have a lot of problems with this season. I have problems with characterisation. I have problems with storylines. I have problems with the way things were shown (I’m looking at you, informed consent).

But last episode was so good! The Luca/Alfie scene was one of the best pieces of television I’ve had the pleasure of consuming. So, there were problems, but I went in with high hopes because, you know, it’s Peaky Blinders, and I love it, so I ignored stuff. But how am I supposed to ignore that raging inferno of a dumpster fire that was the finale. Look. I’m so mad I’m using Americanisms. On that note, give me a Changretta spin off because we deserve it.

A lot of the arguments I make here are going to circle back to a few main points which can be covered by various subtitles such as: ‘Holy Fuck, is someone going to jump a shark in the cut at some point?’, ‘Tommy Shelby is a 4D chess master, except he hasn’t told anyone else where the board is kept’, and ‘Why?’.

This is rambing and probably at times confusing but bleh. Let’s begin.

Major shout out to dorahog for her comment where she said that it seemed very truncated – I think the events of the finale should have been spread over at least two episodes, and maybe three. A lot of the tying of the knots to me still left loose threads and didn’t really seem complete.

I think this, and some of the editing as a result is what causes some of the major problems I have with the episode. Lots of rushed finishing off to introduce too many new lines, idk. Anyway, I’m going to walk through it pretty much scene by scene, so buckle in.

We spend at least the first quarter (in terms of irl play time) of the episode at the boxing match. I was pumped. It was great. The Gold’s are my new faves, and while I may try to present myself as a refined you know, whatever, I love watching two people kick six shades of shit out of each other in a semi controlled manner any day of the week.

Even better when everyone is wearing sharp tailoring and it was someone’s entire job to light the place fantastically. I was about to write an ode to the costumes and props people but then I got a shot of Abbeys wig and the feeling swiftly fled.

Still, I will give the editing people props for this particular section. The pacing was great, the frenetic activity, the flicking back and forth between sets. Here, the editing was spot on. It built up the feeling of not only the excitement, but a sense of panic. Arthurs paranoia really seeped into me and I was on edge about whether Bonnie might be just a little over his head.

Since I’m going to reference pay off recurrently, I want to point out these elements. Arthur is always a paranoid, frenetic, madman. Bonnie has been woven into this season and everything has been building to this moment. The scene with the garotte and Bonnie winning the match – that’s how you do payoff.

Before we move on, I’m focusing on Alfie’s story a lot more later, so I’m skipping over that particular scene for the moment.

I loved the scene in the loos. It was funny, it was an accurate depiction of the politics and preening that goes on, the interplay between the women was indulgent. We got exposition, we got characterisation, we got costumes that made me salivate. More of all of this please.

I’m assuming that Linda is going to get a bigger role in Season 5 – the focus on her descent into Shelby Ladyhood, and the mentions of her past and family (especially her mother) seems to point that way. Which, I for one would enjoy. I think Linda gets a lot of hate because she’s written to. She’s portrayed as the shrew who tore poor little rabid dog Arthur away and leashed him up. I don’t think their relationship is completely healthy, I think there’s co-dependence issues there. But the way I’ve seen her described in fandom is eye-rolling to an extent that I physically injured myself on at least three occasions. So, please, give me more of her as a character and less as a caricature.

I’m so upset that Tommy would lie to Finn about Arthur being dead. Finn, the baby of the family, who wasn’t in the war, and doesn’t think and feel the way they do, was lied to about his brother dying just months after his other brother died. I think it’s sick emotional manipulation and unconscionable on Tommy’s part. If you can’t trust Finn, don’t bring him near the business. You can’t have it both ways. Either he’s in and you bring him in, or you don’t, and he needs to leave. I understand keeping the circle small, but they’ve just learned with the ‘don’t tell Michael about the plan’ plan that it doesn’t really work, and you just end up causing more problems.

Tommy has no consideration for people’s emotions or their state as beings of their own. They’re players to him, pieces on a board, and he’ll move them how he wants. He gets to make all the decisions, they don’t have any real input, and they have no ability to decide if they want to accept the consequences or not, because they’re already five steps deep in the process by the time they learn about it.

Side note: I’m bored of all the plans being made off screen and magically revealed to us later. If you’ve seen the really good video essay about why Sherlock is shitty for doing this, that’s the basis of my argument. It’s not smart or exciting to say ah! Got you! When I never had a chance to work it out in the first place. It’s just kind of lazy and boring.

Also, Tommy lied to a pregnant woman and caused her great distress, so that’s nice.

I cannot believe this is the first proper scene with Isaiah we get, because opening car doors and skulking in the background doesn’t count. Jordan Bolger is a great actor who brings so much to the character and they continually waste him. Isaiah could be so much more – he’s a black, working class kid, with a preacher for a father, in a crime family, and all he gets is a two-minute scene where he’s a bystander to Finn’s character development. Give me his struggle, give me him working through the moral conflicts – even the times they’ve just shown him to be a young lad being a young lad it’s been great, give us more. I assumed with the including of him in the heist plot that he would be stepping up into actual business, but they seem to have abandoned that idea and it’s disappointing. He can firmly join the ‘they deserve better’ club.

Finn should be left to be smol and soft, those are my complete thoughts.

Also, Tommy terrifies and holds hostage a whole room of innocent people as a charade because he doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else’s feelings or autonomy any longer than they are useful to him.

Also, I love Goliath and I’m sad that with Alfie gone we’re probably not going to see anymore of him, my big son, I loved you while I had you.

We move away from the boxing scenes and get Arthur’s ‘funeral’.

I will say, I bloody love the wagons and wish my alternate theory that the Shelby’s did in fact lose everything to Luca and have to start from scratch could have happened because they were would have got more shots of them being ethereal in the forest somewhere surrounded by beautiful woodwork a la the Polly/Abbey scenes, but alas…we get this instead.

The shot of the empty room and the fireplace was beautiful, and poignant, and I’m gonna give them that.

Also, was that Karl? Thank fuck if it was because I had assumed Ada had abandoned him in the states somewhere for all we’ve seen/heard of him so far. It’s not as if any of the children are seen to be particularly important or have any type of characterisation of their own though so why am I surprised?

The way that Tommy treats Michael is ridiculous. You can’t complain about Michael keeping something back from you when you are lying to him about the exact same thing. I am so heartened by Michael saying, ‘I chose my mum’ because it not only shows that Michael isn’t Tommy Jr after all, but also that there’s a chance that the new generation will succeed the old guard after all and that this won’t just carry on forever.

Also, if Tommy can’t trust Michael with his life of all things, why would he trust him to handle the American business alone? How ridiculous. If I think someone was willing to screw me over in a double-cross that led to my death, I wouldn’t hand them the key to my secondary kingdom. Sense – this makes none.

Audrey Changretta turning up at the funeral like the badass she is and I’m so sad that her whole life has been torn apart in order to make Tommy Shelby look like a big man. Honestly, if you ask me, the Shelbys should have lost. Luca should have won. It would have made more sense, and provided such great material for next season.

The Shelby’s, having lost everything and become the people they used to rule, must fight to get back to the top. It should have been everything this season was meant to be, getting back to their roots, scrapping again. It would have provided stakes again. They need to be taken down a few pegs. If I know that Tommy is just going to fix everything off screen at the end anyway and everything turns out the same, then why am I wasting my time?

But that’s what the show has become. It started off as an interesting look at the moral complexities of the family, how they worked together, struggling to be something other than what they were destined for by the people who consistently maligned them. Now it’s a show about how amazing Tommy Shelby is. But the only way they’ve made Tommy Shelby great, is by making everyone else an idiot.

Tommy is a 4D chess-master, but only because no else knows where the table is being kept.

Luca Changretta was introduced as what should have been the most terrifying antagonist yet. And they turned him into an idiot. Luca Changretta, mob boss, doesn’t know to leave men behind to keep an eye on the kingdom? Bullshit.

I understand that Tommy is the main guy and has plot armour, but he doesn’t need to be the centre of the universe to be compelling as a character. This guy has manipulated Churchill and the king, got a city, a country, and an empire revolving around him, been given an OBE and now is an MP. But he can’t count two steps in front of himself and predict that killing a mob boss’ father might bring the mob down on him? He never really sees the consequences of his actions. His wife dying didn’t change him as a person, he just got meaner. His brother dying didn’t change him as a person, he just got reckless. I need a little bit more.

Alfie is such a beloved character not just because Tom Hardy plays him so well, not just because he belts out hilarious nonsense like a slightly faulty spitfire, but because he’s a match for Tommy. A much-needed match. He can go toe-to-toe with him, hell, even half the time get one over on him. He tells it straight when he knows Tommy needs it, and he doesn’t take his bullshit. He’s a breath of fresh air in a show that wants to convince us the literal world (or at least the empire, and America, and the political-social climate of the period, and every woman in sights life) revolves around Thomas Shelby.

Even add Campbell to that pile. He was a shit show. He was disgusting. He was mildly inept at times. But he was menacing. He had political connections. You knew he was the guy they sent out to do the work that everyone turned an eye to, and how much damage he could cause without official recompense. But in the end, it wasn’t Grand Master Tommy who got him – it was Grace, and then Polly. Hell hath no fury like women scorned, and the beauty came so much more from the fact that it wasn’t the person who he perceived as his adversary that ended up doing him in. Someone he trusted, and someone he abused, doing what needed to be done. The priest last season was menacing because of the same, and in the end, it wasn’t Tommy that brought him down, it was Michael. It meant something because it was Michael.

I don’t see how killing Luca makes sense except it as a way to make Tommy look good and have the big Arthur reveal, which was bullshit anyway. There was little pay off there.

And Alfie. Oh, sweet love, Alfie. So, not only do they take what is pretty much the most beloved character in the fandom, even casuals love the shit out of this man, and dispatch of him like a secondary mop up, but they do it in such a shitty way.

When the spoilers came out about Alfie’s cancer I had a personal reflexive ‘well fuck off with that’ having just lost someone irl to a long and messy cancer battle, so mainly I pushed it away and thought ‘ah, that won’t get dealt with yet, they’ve done nothing about it for season upon season, it’s probably just internal backstory bullshit’. Nope.

Alfie has been chronically underused in this show, and I understand it. I think the rare glimpses we get are so powerful that it makes sense. It’s Christmas Day. It’s an island in the sea of winter, and the anticipation’s half the fun. You get presents every day, and you’re just going to turn out to be a spoiled brat. But we spend seasons adoring this guy who lives in the damn shadows, scrapping together parts of his life so that we can better understand him, only to be fed a massive plot point as an offhand spoiler and then have the entire thing resolved in what felt like 20 minutes? There was no anticipation. There were no stakes. There was no payoff. I was just…sighing, mostly.

I knew when he started talking about Margate that I was about to be emotionally ruined, but I expected at least to get a fitting end. But no. We got Alfie screwing Tommy over again in a predictable but fucking useless way. We got Tommy shooting him on a beach and walking away. And that was it.

I think the Tommy breakdown scenes would have had a bigger impact on me two seasons ago when I still had care for his character, but I just used the time to check my messages, so it didn’t really land with me tbh. The whole last segment of this ep just flew over me.

The malignment of Jessie Eden’s character will likely get a post of its own soon. Except I am going to say here that I’m entirely sure that what Tommy is doing counts as sexual assault – see the case of the woman who had a child with someone she didn’t know was an undercover agent in her what I think was also Communist action group, and also the new laws that stop undercover people from sleeping with those they are surveying. Because you can’t give informed consent. But they’re probably not going to address that, because we have a love triangle to deal with now.

Also, Tommy abandoned a dog and tampered with an election so he’s everyone I hate now. You don’t come for the animals or the democratic process. Taking inspiration from my dear love, Alfie Solomons, what a fucking cunt.

But besides that, it was fine.

#peaky blinders spoilers

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 6 | “His best Amanda Kimmel "Go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation” - Liam

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ryrU-tXQbMyAa2Sl_GFiJb61i6qUNY-x/view?usp=sharing

aj went home??!?!?! hello!? JAKE SURVIVED SO THERE IS A GOD

Who feels like shit? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And now I remember why I feuded with Jakey... he literally did what ever he wanted. Which is very inconvenient for the rest of us. I know he put my name down. Granted 3 minutes ago I was sure it was Dan but after briefly snapping at him I put it together. Dan, 7:21 PM Seriously I’m not mad about it ahha I can see how my words were taken. And then I definitely said this afternoon we hadn’t talked and that was why I thought you would be the vote on my end Yeah you were a target before AJ started throwing my name out. I own up to that 100% So now it's time to play voting detective... yaayyyyyyyyyyyy (em llik) This entire vote started off with Jakey and Dan. Dan claims that he didn't bring my name up, but it would be an ass pull for Jakey to come to me with Dan wanting me dead immediately after the immunity challenge and then suddenly manifest it. Jakey immediately comes to me and I immediately come to the Dumb Betches (tm). I want Dan out but it's just not realistic as the other side isn't as comfortable playing with a pure beauty team. Next day we form the Thots R Us alliance and Jakey and Scott plead their case for AJ to leave and we, like idiots, go for it. Dan continues to campaign for me. Devon gets into the mix at some point and tells Dan that AJ is voting for him. Dan changes his vote. Now according to Augusto around this point, Jakey mentioned the possibility of having an extra vote before completely shutting it down. Claiming it to be "unnecessary". I think this sparked the idea to tell AJ about the vote under the guise of "golly gee I don't wanna vote for Dan because honor and stuff so I'm voting for you". I assume it's around then he wrote my name down. Like a bitch. Sorry I'm trying to be less hateful and aggressive but man it's harrdddddddd. My guess is that he wanted a beauty out no matter what and figured he'd have better luck convincing the others to vote for me in a situation where an idol is played. He probably also wanted me and Dan to turn further against each other. Unfortunately for him, I spent all of my impulse control that day on not chewing Dan's head off and I snapped immediately afterwords and so some things were cleared up. It has to be Jakey not just because of all the things lining up and not just because it is in his character but I genuinely can't imagine anyone else doing so. - AJ and Amir are loyal hoes. Plus if one of them did something that absurd, it wouldn't exactly benefit them. It puts strain between our relationships with the other players and honestly I don't know why they'd waste a vote on me when if an idol is played they risk losing a beauty majority. - Devon doesn't seem like he would make any waves and seems to have taken a liking to me. Granted I'm less sure about him then the others but he did put most of the work in convincing Dan not to put my name down. Plus he doesn't seem to have anticipated AJ having an idol. - Scott, to do something like this would have been risky. I'm his primary connection to the beauty alliance, if AJ were to play an idol he would have risked losing an asset. - I truly think Dan isn't lying to me because he genuinely believed if he didn't vote for AJ he'd be fucked. He wasn't comfortable with where the votes lied, to throw a vote towards me would have been pretty dumb and insanely reckless. Jakey is the only person I can think of who would go out so out of his way for something like this. Chaos is more or less his calling card. Plus it would be in his best interest to keep around someone in his majority alliance and get rid of a beauty. And he probably thought that I was a better option considering past history or whatever. :/ So now we have to sacrifice Jakey to the survivor gods not because he wrote my name down but because I can't trust him to keep his shit together and vote with us. We were going to target Dan next and he probably won't be chill with that. He probably would prefer to aim for Devon or One of the beauties. And that well, wouldn't be in my best interest either. In the mean time, I'm just going to sit still and look pretty.

Ok, I need to make a quick apology. Talking to Autumn and Duncan has been the highlight of my game thus far. Autumn went to the same undergrad as me and Duncan is one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. I feel terrible for ever being doubtful of being on the same tribe as them. Because now I really think I have two more people that I feel I can trust and move with further, which (in the words of the perfect Mrs. Kim Spradlin) means I have options, and I think this can guarantee a spot for me at merge and a really good group to make some moves with that isn't as obvious to people. If we were to go to tribal, I think my target would be Connor which should be an easy vote given his general lack of activity on the tribe thus far, but I'm also not against the prospect of blindsiding Ali as I think there's a chance he has that Apis idol and I'm certain he has a few tricks up his sleeves.

okay soooo i have two LONG video confessionals uploading from the last two days but wow stuff is happening... so first off, the nuThoth tribe voted off... AJ?! which is so unexpected, that shakes up the game completely, like now it means the game is changed... it means the brawn four on this tribe sticking together is a really bad idea, and it just... everything has changed. i'm so so glad jake has survived, which keeps one good ally in on nuThoth. I'm still scared of Augusto/Amir/Kendall/Scott, but hopefully one will go if they go to tribal again? idek but yeah a lot of this will be repeated in my video, but god is a woman. and her name is autumn, i called with autumn for TWO HOURS yesterday and it was a transcendent experience, i literally love her so much. and it was such a good conversation, like i 100% overshared but it was great to kinda link up... i talked to her about adam (more on him later), she filled me in on the brain hot goss and she is of course someone i want to stick with. on this tribe, the two i feel best about are tj and autumn - tj i was SO mean to at the start but i actually get really good energy from him now? i really want to solidify something with him, i definitely want to stick wit him. jordan i think trusts me a lot but for some reason i continue to have anxiety about him (but he is a good shield in a merge situation). i for some reason get really good vibes from connor? i think i would love to talk to him more (will pm him today) - i think connor gives off good vibes and particularly since adam's conspiracy of a beauty illuminati is over i think i could trust him a lot? we haven't spoken much but he has really good ally potential imo. adam is a tricky one. for some reason i do NOT trust him. he is in EVERYONES pms peddling this same narrative and is just doing a lot? i think he is a real slippery player, and i feel like he is a fish who if we release into the ocean of a merge tribe we will never get back? i have such anxiety about him making it far so i'd love for him to go as soon as possible. its tough tho because now that a beauty majority voted off a beauty, i feel like the brawn four on this tribe need to do similar? so maybe i need to vote off liam? its just annoying because i trust liam, and i'd LOVE to get adam out but i dont see the numbers to pull that off. so i feel like we have to vote liam to give ourselves wiggle room as brawn players, but from there idk... because i want adam GONE grrrrrrrrrr its frustrating. hopefully we win this challenge, and the other tribe has another chance to get rid of someone... like the less decisions i have to make the better at this point i take it back jordan is so sweet, he is like a teddy bear... its just whether he is a care bear or lotso from toy story

i cant remember what my last confessional said so im just gonna start with last tribal: aj got voted out ........ of all the false beautys it had to be him the ONE who actually was nice to me and was the whistleblower on that main alliance? when i said it'd ironically beautiful to me to see one of the beautys voted out he was NOT any of the ones i was talking about then we get our next immunity and oh would you look at that... THREE people have to sit out meaning there's gonna surely be another chat with 5 people in it to say lets vote adam out AGAIN.......as soon as i saw this challenge my ptsd immediately was triggered and i was trying SO hard to sound like i wanted to be in one of the things even if i wouldnt have been good at it just so i could rest easy but it didnt really work out, in fact the highlight of the challenge was actually me and duncan and our contribution of sitting on the sidelines looking pretty while they all flopped but bless their hearts at least they tried, so now we're going back to tribal, and again i didnt compete in immunity which apparenly is cause for a target now so ... im HOPING that doesnt happen again, and if it does then i probably deserve to go home! i was kinda just.... not in the mood to talk to anyone much of yesterday or even today just because um.... i didnt want to dfakdfs mostly due to that dumb bitch DeDe Pressión just making me wanna do nothing but lay in bed and torture myself by watching more real survivor but i woke up today in a better mood, the moods they come and they go, much like me i love being elusive so hopefully people just dont think im like such dumb bitch who doesnt wanna talk or whatever, because believe it or not the gorls can be so hateful over you not being able to recite their whole life story back to them at the final triabl! they ripped me to shred my first season because i couldnt tell them so and so had a purple sheep back on the farm in late october 2007 like gorl plea .... so yeah ive been trying to talk to more people today to compensate, not sure where it will go, it did reassure me a bit that liam messaged me like RIGHT after the challenge and began already saying stuff about connor like ooh gorl michael_jackson_i_love_this_song.gif, but i just need to be careful because i dont want to seem like im the one controlling the vote, because odds are im gonna get made to look a fool and ill go home, or be left in the dark, but im gonna try to have slightly more faith in these people and hope they're buying what im selling, because it's pretty good stuff, i just want to feel like im the most expensive iphone in the store you know, like i want to be able to say im building relationships nonetheless and will make people come running to ME with information but who knows. I'm either playing decently and in a good spot right now, or im a fucking delusional schizophrenic so im hoping tribal reveals something like that one way or another. at least if i get voted off i can stop letting this game stress me the HELL out in the middle of a fucking pandemic

youtube

When AJ leaves and you can trust your new alliance with the beauties and Jakey https://media.tenor.com/images/b4c2f5c658c1d3ade7e506ee7ffe3c5e/tenor.gif When you win your first tribal immunity challenge of the season https://i.imgur.com/8xzlbRW.gif When you don’t have to see Alyssa and Jess at tribal https://media.giphy.com/media/6nuiJjOOQBBn2/giphy.gif My tribe when I get to go to bed early because I don’t have to stay up stressing about tribal https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/58c16a15208b4945c3920cf0/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/nicole-kidman-seal-clap.gif

Second tribal of the game for me and I am feeling good once again. i see myself in a position where I dont think i am being targeted and I really just have room to grow and form my social relationships. I feel bad for connor cause I think he will be going home barring anything crazy happening. He was someone I wanted to work with going into this game, but ill be honest his social game is just abysmal he needs to talk to people more. I originally thought he was just not talking to me cause he assumed we were good but apparently everone feels like they cant have a convo with him. Its way too early for me to do something crazy and deviate so I think hes gonna be blindsided tonight. Maybe I want to lock down a final 2 with TJ soon im starting to trust him more and more and hopefully he feels the same way. Im pretty confident that were gonna merge at 12 because thats the first time my legacy advantage is coming into play but im not sharing that information, that power is as locked to the chest as can be I will not tell a soul all game about it, thats how you become a fan favourite game changer sierra dawn thomas and I will not be her, married to joe anglim what a thought. Im off focus, either way Ive talked a lot about feeling very rocky in this game so far and feeling like I havent found my footing, but Im getting a foundation built now and once I get going, theirs no stopping me.

Is it seriously only Day 14..? Ugh, this game drags on for so, so long. Tonight is gonna be deja vu of Kvaloya in which I once again send home Connor, hopefully unanimously again. I respond to his fucking messages, and he's doing his best Amanda Kimmel "go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation right now. It's ANNOYING. I can't work with someone who does this!

oh duncan. oh duncan duncan duncan. every single time we play together you underestimate me as a player and it is infuriating? so this time you don't want an alliance with me? that's fine... but don't think i wont find out. i'm literally my blood is boiling that he thinks he can get away with this... grr. but also i love autumn for telling me, it shows me i can trust her and we are gonna go the distance. anyway so i do think connor is going to leave tonight and me freaking out will only make it me instead... so i will go with it. but now im waiting to see what jordan and tj say... and to see if they tell me. i dont think tj will tell me, but i do think jordan BETTER. i'm defending him to autumn, so he owes me plus he says we are a duo so he better JKASLDFAF. so now? i feel like i need to trust adam and stop being so nervous to trust him... he is on the bottom with me and we need to flip this upside DOWN. if me/adam link up, that will be good... because im not down to be stuck on the bottom for more than a vote... being on the bottom is how to go home and that's not my thing

So now that the vote is looming, I think that we have it fully on Connor now. Duncan and I came up with the fake vote of Adam which Connor seemed to take? Although he's asking questions that seem fishy, so let's just hope he buys it. And Duncan and I made an alliance of me, him, Jordan, and Autumn which is perfect to have going into merge. I still need to figure out how best to integrate the two so that they can know Jakey is going to work with us but not enough so that they don't know that me/Jakey/Jordan also have an alliance together. But this is awesome going into the next round, and I'm just praying that we don't see an idol played, because that would be DISASTER!

the way i've called adam shady for days and days and now i trust him one of the most? wow a growth arc. i'm still heated about duncan. he is SOO likable and charismatic, and is someone who is genuinely always just fun to play with? so him being in this gamebot really dry state is so frustrating because ik if he just relaxed and let his natural personality out he would snap?! he is just so fixated on doing well this season that he is getting in his own way (at least imo, but this is coming from mr im not in an alliance so im bitter KJSAFD). so anyway now that duncan is not a viable ally anymore, i need to solidify the other connections... and i think adam and autumn are the move. adam is clearly just desperate for allies and while he is over-eager, i think he is earnest so ill stop being paranoid about him. autumn is just a queen and a goddess so im gonna stick with her too... liam is lovely too... i just want duncan OUTTTTTTTTTTT he will not get away with this, i am the meddling kid(s) who will ruin his plans... will duncan go to the end as the gamebot leader... well... https://gph.is/2dmg9hV

also can i just say i love tj?! like i sent duncan very similar messages about feeling like i've been out of it, and the difference in their responses is remarkable: tj: I think everyone understands that you haven't been 100% the last few days, so I doubt anyone is going to fault you for that. And everyone knows that it's a game, real life does come first. like... sweet, supportive without being patronising? validating duncan: and i don't think things have really kicked off over here yet, i think its going to be an "easy vote" but we'll see what happens duncan.... immediately to game, almost his own conversation... i'm... over it?

well we have tribal in just a few hours, and tonight it's gonna be pretty clear cut in the sense that, ill finally have answers because um it's either gonna be me or connor ive been doing my best to lead this smear campaign against him, only because he made the wrong move by coming for me first and continuing to lie to my face about it so at this point i wish i felt bad but i dont. I could be completely delusional but I do think it's working because people have come to ME first and said they want to vote connor, because of both what i was saying and because he just hasnt been talking to many people besides right after the challenge so like... people can see how transparent that is pls also because MULTIPLE people have approached me first today telling me he plans on voting me out so unless they're specializing in some hardcore reverse psychology...i think i have a shot at it being 7-1 connor but once again i literally could be being made out to be a whole ass goof and not even know. or even worst have got all the numbers on my side but then get idol'ed out fdhaskj both very likely scenarios because things never seem this easy in this game ive been trying my best to get to know people and i feel like im slowly connecting more with some of them, so i guess tonight at tribal will be a test on those relationships because all the people ive been talking to will either, believe me, trust me, and wanna play with me, or theyre gonna listen to connor and vote me out, and honestly if they vote me out over him then i completely deserve to go home because clearly im doing something wrong my biggest fear is im hoping i havent come off too strong trying to play by painting this narrative of the old hathor's and connor being so against me, because while yes obviously i want connor gone for my own reasons, the trick is i dont want people to think im leading a charge against him (even tho i absolutely am) because i dont want that kinda target on me but truly who the fuck knows, i could very well go home but idk. this game is like walking into a serial killer convention and trying to stay alive, that's how i feel like im putting my faith in the hands of killers, it's making a bitch shook so i guess we'll see but in a perfect world..... connor will leave....which may look bad because of old tribe lines, but im really trying to wor any magic i have to where me being the only beauty on this tribe would be beneficial for me to hopefully be sought after by any brawns or brains, but if you ask me old tribe lines are about to be nonexistent. even though there will be 4 brawns next round, ive been trying to connect to some of them in the hopes that theyll ditch any old alliance they have to work with me but only time will tell so um yeah keep me in your thoughts and prayers pls

Not gonna lie, I haven't done much of anything this round but I don't mind it! Sometimes I just wanna be a lazy bitch yknow? But yeah, Thoth FINALLY beat its 0 challenge wins curse and we won immunity which I am thankful for given tribal would've been extremely messy? With the Kendall vote last round (which I think was Jakey or Jakey telling Dan to do so), who knows what would've been the outcome! Yay for safety <3

hiiiii no video because i no longer want to do them. let the record show that i was the 1st to say adam's name, if he goes, i did that. if i go, i did that.

i didn't make a confessional this round and tribal is about to start! im going to expect connor to go but this would be a shitty last confessional if i go home tonight. I'm hoping to establish trust within this new tribe. Wish me luck! XOXO Gossip Girl. also my dog just ate the cake i left on the counter >.> thats why im late.

I can't give y'all a real confessional right now cause Cagayan has me screaming but I believe Connor is going home 7-1 and I gave the green light to an alliance I plan on turning on whew so see y'all soon

So basically, tribal happened, beauties lost a number unanimously, theres pros and cons to this. Pros: ppl think the idol left, beauty is less threatening, we show loyalty to more people and build relationships. Bad: someone lied. that kendall throw away vote was to ensure a beauty went home in case aj played an idol, and everyone claims it wasnt them, so someone on this tribe has a case of the LIE-ABETES. * anyway, here is Shit I learned today aka dirt on ppl: 🎃Devon - told me that dan was afraid of an all beauties thing 🎃Jakey - told me dan Ali him and Jordan were a majority - told me Ali has the idol - told me Ali is a rat who warned lovelis - called Adam annoying and ugly - said he wants Devon out next - thinks Devon voted kendall 🎃 scott - told me Devon screwed him over and got himself voted out on brains - told me autumn and Duncan are a duo 🎃 Dan - told jakey that he thinks the brains tribe voted kendall to divide beauty and brawn 🎃 kendall - hidden secret alliance with Jakey - hates dan 🎃 augusto - super close with Devon - wants to blindside Jakey - thinks Jakey is the kendall vote

#BackWithVengeance

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harryfeatgaga · 6 years

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I'm dying laughing at the CEO of the Recording Academy trying to cover his ass cause he knew he made a mistake all while questioning if Harry's reached a "level of excellence to merit a nomination." But gave the Chainsmokers and Meghan fucking Trainor a Grammy. Where was the excellence from them? The Chainsmokers song was played at Frat parties and dirty basement, is that's excellence then I don't want Harry to reach that point.

i literally cannot believe

Anonymous said: My dad just texted me from work to see if I was okay because he got a call from the neighbours saying there’s been the same song on loop on full blast (that song is the Grammy robbed Sign of the Times by the Grammy deserving Harry Edward Styles)

DJNFBGUHFBJNHFIJNBFHJKF MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I bet that one anon you got a few days ago is cackling and trying to talk shit about how they knew Harry isn't talented enough to get a Grammy or something stupid like that

they can ch*ke

Anonymous said: Niall did great things with his album and it got great hype by both the public and music producers so if his album made the deadline I would easily say his album deserved a nomination. But the other boys haven’t even released albums yet and their singles were just good for radio play.

i haven't listened to his album still lol but noah fence from what i saw it did not get nearly as great reviews and hype as harrys lol and idk why the others even bothered fhbgfjkvl

Anonymous said: Boycott the Grammys 2k18!

tru!!!

Anonymous said: I’m just going to air out my grievances if that’s ok- first of all,Harry’s management or record company stuffed up bad cos y’all know damn well the members don’t vote artists with a progressive sound into the rock category so you fucked up there. second - Bruno mars is clearly this ceremony’s Taylor swift cos idk how tf his flimsy song about material things got nominated over a relevant refreshing ballad like SOTT . Harry deserved better , but also, harry needs to fire some incompetent people ✌️

well harry made music he wanted lol not stuff thats gonna get played on the radio which i enjoy lol but yea bruno is the tswift this year....or j*y z

Anonymous said: The thing that sucks is he most likely was planning on going to the Grammys cause he's performing for Fleetwood Mac the day before, but now he's going to be in New York and not going.....

PLEASE :(

Anonymous said: I was really disappointed but more for him than me like my first thought was “I hope he’s alright and not too sad about it” And I really hope he understands that it doesn’t make him any less good because an award is just an award and it never defines who you are as an artist and as a person.

i know I'm so sad for him i hope he's okay :(

Anonymous said: Harry is the best artist in the world right now he doesn’t need awards!!

tru! but it would've been nice to even get a nom/recognition

Anonymous said: You can tell the Grammy' will just nominated any old shite. I mean Ed Sheeran has the biggest album of the year yet he isn't nominated. And i didn't even know JayZ had an album out and he's nominated. Like no offense but American music industry is just shit.

ed is nominated and some other categories which I'm sure he will win and literally same i had no idea jay z had music out lmao

Anonymous said: Scrap what i said, Zayn didn't get nominated. It was for songwriting and he didn't write that song.

good

Anonymous said: He got all that hype, he did that private show for them, they went his his first show in LA. They for sure used him for hype and media attention. Robbing bastards.

seriously

Anonymous said: A LOUIS FAN CLAIMING LOUIS DESERVED A NOM YALL I WAS SAD BUT NOT NOW. NOW A BITCH CANT STOP LAUGHING. HE AIN'T EVER GETTING SHIT

LMAOOOOO BYEEEEE AS IF

Anonymous said: I just hope he knows Grammys ain’t shit

honestly

Anonymous said: I know it’s not the end of the world, but I hope he’s not super disappointed and sad, because everyone hyped him up so much smh. Also, I bet this will change how he does promo and radio shit for his next album, they should get him a radio deal just for the fact that clearly that’s all these loser Grammy voters care about.

well if thats what he has to do to get a grammy i don't think that would be worth it and i don't think he would think that either

Anonymous said: Jay Z can fucking choke like his album? The shit he did to beyonce? I’m not fucking rewarding a man for being like that anymore, he can take his ancient ass somewhere else.

nasty

Anonymous said: Good, now I don’t have to watch the Grammys this year, I’m glad tbh since I’m not really a fan of any of the other nominees and I’m sick to death of hearing the same five songs all fucking year lol, that issues song? Fucking hate it, have since day one, can’t believe it got nominated for shit lol. However Jeff needs to get Harry a radio deal since clearly that’s all that matters to voters, considering Harry did all the courting of the voters he could and still got fucked.

i literally haven't even heard most of whats nominated its such a joke

Anonymous said: Most nominees in the important categories are poc so I’m not completely mad and besides Despacito or however you write it (which is a horrible song) they nominated well deserved ones. I still think SOTT should’ve got at least one nomination but I think that maybe because harry is fresh out of the oven they’re not gonna straight up give him a nomination even if he deserves it.

yea i mean its awesome theres actually diversity this year but SOTT literally deserved a ROTY nom

Anonymous said: Nah Harry will get Brit nominations because he’s respected in his own country, the Brits also nominated 1D they don’t hold being in a boy band against him which clearly the Grammy voters do, which is a real shame tbh. But the Grammys are continuing to dig their own grave and become more and more unimportant every year.

i cant wait till the grammys just make such a food of themselves no one goes

Anonymous said: Pls the whole Grammys is a conspiracy theory lol I told you

a mess

Anonymous said: The Grammys lost all credibility after giving Adele Album of the Year last year and not Beyonce. They stick to the basics and just anyone who doesn't "break the rules of music" Harry's first solo song was a 6 minute long rock ballad, which doesn't go with what was expected to be put out. They don't care for originality or you know talent, that's why Ed Sheeran's wack ass has won 🤷🏼‍♀️

SERIOUSLY

Anonymous said: He'll probably get nominated for Song of the year and Video of the year at the Brits. Pretty sure both are fan voted. Maybe best male as well. Also maybe best album but then again probably not because it depends. Also maybe global success. I can't think who else would get that right now. Maybe Ed Sheeran again.

i hope so

Anonymous said: Grammys? I don’t know her. Anyway I hope Harry knows how proud everyone is of him and I hope he’s proud of himself I love my baby 🤧💕

ME!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: i feel so much for harry i mean he did everything he could he put out a phenomenal single and a stellar album and worked with amazing producers and writers and did the grammy performance thing and all that stuff with cbs and like i know im biased but he deserves SOME recognition for all of that like he really did put out amazing music this year that was so much more worthy than despacito like come on he was robbed i just hope he feels okay and valid bc he IS :(

i know :( like i hope he knows he still has done such incredible things this year and his album is so good and he doesn't need a stupid grammy anyway

Anonymous said: Taylor is nominated for two (one for the country song she wrote). Like no offense the the American music industry but you need to get your head out of Taylor arse and stop being snobs. SOTT deserved a nomination.

when will they stop kissing her ass

Anonymous said: Harry broke records held by legends, had a BBC special, performed at the record academy, and sold out an arena tour in minutes. So Julia Michaels and Ed Sheehan can take their boring ass music along with their nominations and shove it up their asses.

TBH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m sorry but I have to point out the irony. The lyrics of the song are literally stop your crying it’s a sign of the times. and I know there’s a deeper meaning, but this year fucking sucks

i know :(

Anonymous said: All that hype for nothing. Boy was robbed. Sign of the times deserves a Grammy.

ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: Everyone knows no one, NO ONE deserved a nomination more then Harry. White old men disappointing me again. Like every fucking person said Harry deserved one. ISSUES AS SONG OF THE YEAR? YALL I NEED THEIR CRACK DEALER CAUSE CLEARLY ITS SOME GOOD SHIT TO GET YOU TO THINK FUCKING ISSUES IS SONG OF THE YEAR. Nah fuck them.

FUCK THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m so?? Noah fence but the songs that got nominated? What the fuck???? Harry deserved to be up there whether it was roty or aoty idc he just deserves to be nominated.

seriously

Anonymous said: LISTEN in 10 years time people will look back and say why the fuck wasn’t SOTT a Grammy winner... he is timeless and he’ll win in the end!! The Grammys are fucked

THEY WILL REGRET IT

Anonymous said: The Grammys just proved again how much they don’t matter lol, Harry’s song and album was on every single list as one of the best of the entire year, and the you know who wasn’t? Most of those other songs lmao so whatever man I know the Grammys matters to harry, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore they continue to be irrelevant and continue to nominate mediocrity.

its such a joke lmao

Anonymous said: Yeah honestly the Grammys really do only care about awarding the same people over and over again, and it’s like, no offense but who cares lol. I’m sure Jay Zs album is good but he’s nearly 50 and been nominated a ton like idc anymore lol. And I like Bruno mars but seriously? The songs he was nominated for really aren’t that great lmao.

seriously tho like j*y z has enough awards

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huneydue · 7 years

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answer all of them

1. Are looks important in a relationship?- for me they aren't. I'm more attracted to the way people act towards others, their sense of humor, but I know for others physical attraction is really important. I just don't think that they are. Not for me.  2. Are relationships ever worth it?- heck yeah 3. Are you a virgin?- 🤗 4. Are you in a relationship?- nope 5. Are you in love?- I don't think I am anymore  6. Are you single this year?- I haven't been in an official relationship this year but I did have a kinda thing with someone 7. Can you commit to one person?- of course  8. Describe your crush- funny, cute, sarcastic, sappy, caring, amazing 9. Describe your perfect mate- funny, cute, good flirt to roast ratio, caring, amazing 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?- I believe in being extremely attracted to someone at first sight, but I think that love takes time. 11. Do you ever want to get married?- I wanted to at one point. It just all depends on who I'm with.  12. Do you forgive betrayal?- not really. It depends on who the person is who does it.  13. Do you get jealous easily?- oh you betcha  14. Do you have a crush on anyone?- I do 15. Do you have any piercings?- 1 16. Do you have any tattoos?- I don't 17. Do you like kissing in public?- ehh small kisses are cool but that's it 20. Do you shower every day?- yep 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?- maybe but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?- heck yeah 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?- no one I've ever been with has been able to but I know I can do it 🤗 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?- I don't think so  25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?- if it happens cool but if not that's cool too  26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?- lots of people  27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?- both actually 28. Have you ever been cheated on?- yep 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?- I would never 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?- I wanted to change my nose actually bc I really hate it  31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?- oh you betcha  32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?- OH YOU BETCHA 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?- //// 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?- 🤗 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?- 🤗 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?- I have  37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?- oohhhh boy you bet I have. I think my friends have hated everyone I've ever liked  38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?- all the time  39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?- unfortunately  40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?- a poem! 41. Have you had sex so far this year?- nope 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?- well you see I'm touchy so  43. How long was your longest relationship?- a couple months  44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?- 3 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012?- NONE 46. How many times did you have sex last year?- 0000 47. How old are you?- 18 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?- uhh I think I'd just say that's cool tbh 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?- I can't answer this BC IM SINGLE 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?- I would want to but she doesn't deserve me so no 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?- yes  52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?- my ex. I was stubborn and I didn't want to for a long time but sometimes you just gotta give up on people that aren't willing to change  53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?- I don't think so  54. Is there someone you will never forget?- tons of people. Everyone I meet usually leaves some sort of impression on me that stays with me  55. Share a relationship story.- tbh?? I don't think I have many good ones so no thx 56. State 8 facts about your body- my eyes are green, I can move one of my thumbs in a really weird way, my ankles are shit and I roll them all the time, my thighs and stomach are squishy and make great pillows, my cheeks are chubby, my skin is really soft, I have small hands, and I have a birthmark on the back of my head under my hair  57. Things you want to say to an ex- I wish I hated you but you're always going to be someone I wish I could have in my life and I'm going to always miss you no matter where I am or what I'm doing. And I'll always wish it could have worked.  58. What are five ways to win your heart?- pizza, animals, trips to the aquarium, cuddles, neck kisses 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)- look at my avi  60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?- it was like 2 years  61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?- their smile usually 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?- support me and love me even tho my mental illnesses make it hard to do that lmao  63. What is your definition of “having sex”?- uh just ya know, having sex 64. What is your definition of cheating?- allowing yourself to fall for someone, whether in love or in lust, while with someone else. Cheating isn't just physical. It can be emotional too.  65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?- //// 66. What is your favourite roleplay?- //// 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?- take me to the aquarium please  68. What is your sexual orientation?- lesbian  69. What turns you off?- dull conversations, people who don't put in effort, rudeness 70. What turns you on?- kindness, humor, a nice smile, a cute laugh 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?- //// 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?- //// 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?- um not give up on me lmao  74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?- I don't think I have one 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?- wrote a song for me 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?- I drove to her house and brought her chicken nuggets because she was crying  77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?- age gaps do matter. A legal adult shouldn't date someone under 18. And age gaps can determine how mature some people will be in the relationship. I think they matter  78. What’s your dirtiest secret?- sometimes I wear the same bra 3 days in a row  79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?- ummm when this person went out of her way to try and make me jealous by telling me she was gonna kiss her friend 🤗 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?- I told Jessica I loved her last night  81. Who are five people you find attractive?- Jessica, myself, my boy Baylee, Carolyn, and Maura  82. Who is the last person you hugged?- my little sister 83. Who was your first kiss with?- one of my friends but idk if you can really count that  84. Why did your last relationship fail?- effort wasn't there, communication wasn't there, I don't think either of us were in it completely 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? - of course

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sugarpunkeyes · 7 years

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1-99 😎

ITCHY I HA T E YOU (but im still gonna do it cause. this feels like a challenge)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?alternate version of behind the sea by panic! at the discofuckmylife666 by against me!like a child hiding behind your tombstone by slothrust brain stew/jaded by green daybaba o'reilly by the whoacross the universe by the beatles

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?unlikely person ,, laura !! jane !! grace !! slightly more likely person(s) ,, @thesmashingpumpkins or @billiejoeshappytrail @xkidiot cause you’re wonderful

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“…and, of course, Crass, who remain my favorite band to this day.” (from Tranny by Laura!! wild)

4: What do you think about most?music as a general statement probably. whether it’s my own writing/band stuff/practicing instruments

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“And ya but nvm” from @gathering-up-the-avenues

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?with pajamas !

7: What’s your strangest talent?i can figure out how to set or fix/take apart & rebuild any watch or clock i’ve ever come across

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)??? girls are girls. boys are boys. i’m unwilling to gender stereotype esp in the binary lmao

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?i am not aware of that happening, no

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?i was texting my favo(u)rite british bo(u)y itchy ( @billiejoeshappytrail ) like two hours ago and playing loads of music

11: Do you have any strange phobias?not that i’m.. aware of ?? i get really freaked out by looking straight-on at a pin, like right at the pointy off when it’s facing me but that’s not really a phobia

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?i’m sure i have. i mean fingers are foreign technically so

13: What’s your religion?jewish ;)

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?listening to music in headphones ,, walking ,, zoning out

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind ,, but i like having photos of myself and i find it really fun to help out my photographer friends ,, they’re so good i’m lov my artsy humans

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?The Beatles !

17: What was the last lie you told?i told my mom i checked the weather this morning when she asked how cold it was but i actullt just stuck my head out my window and guessed

18: Do you believe in karma?nah, bad stuff and good stuff happens to everyone

19: What does your URL mean?it was from Years Ago ™ when i was equally obsessed with doctor who and star trek. sonic (screwdriver) ; (star) trek

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?uHm i’m really bad about emotions as a whole?? if i’m confronted about how i’m feeling and i am Not In The Mood to talk about how i am then i will 100% say i’m fine no matter whati’m good at music i think ,, i’ve been writing music since i was little and i know 10-ish instruments?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?Laura. Jane. Grace. i’m lov

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?yyep

23: How do you vent your anger?i kick/punch walls (i have a wall in my room w lots of studs, i know where to hit it so nothing will break), write music (nerd), throw tennis balls at my garage door

24: Do you have a collection of anything?i have journals i’ve filled out, presidential/gold dollars, state quarters (every state, every year), an old keychain collection, loads of books, and unofficially lots of band/tour shirts ;)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?video chatting !

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?i am, but only because i know my two options are to like myself or dislike myself and there’s no way of saying i won’t totally reinvent myself tomorrow. so yes, but just because i believe in constant change and i’m proud of the changes i’ve made

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?i haTe the scratch when you have a metal utensil on a china/porcelain plate ugGgHhh and i love the noise when you lean on someone and they’re happy about it and they go “mhm”

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i can’t do all of the things i love in my life?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?not ghosts, absolutely aliens

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm touched my house/car keys, left arm touched my glasses on my bed

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?hotdogs i think (my family’s having a barbecue)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?worst place .. like worst city? i don’t like detroit at all

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?EAST COAST succ it @xkidiot @sloanthewench

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?i am. all the genders i literally ,, what ????? uhh i don’t know any agender singers off the top of my head ?? but i’m lov billie joe armstrong and laura jane grace and gerard way has said he doesn’t really identify with male or female so. him too

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?just growing as a human and then helping others grow

36: Define Art.creation that invokes feeling ( @danlitty would know better than me ,, she is The Art ™ )

37: Do you believe in luck?not really but i wear mismatched socks because i think matching socks are bad luck so. uhHh idk

38: What’s the weather like right now?it was raining and like 65 degrees and now it’s just gray and a lil warmer

39: What time is it?3:38 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?yes, i didn’t crash but i hit someone’s car while i was pulling out of a parking spot

41: What was the last book you read?not really a book, but i read a compilation of loads of doom patrol comics

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?to an extent .. like the first min or so is nice

43: Do you have any nicknames?yeah, my real name’s grace but everyone calls me gracie or gee or graice or goot or geebee (thanks shaney) or graciebell or groot or greasy

44: What was the last film you saw?the butterfly effect with the green goons!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?i broke my nose twice .. i’m pretty safe overall

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?yep! but v carefully and let it go immediately

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?always ,,,, just band stuff

48: What’s your sexual orientation?i call myself bi but i’m just gay for everyone

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?nope

50: Do you believe in magic?n o

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?depends how bad it was

52: What is your astrological sign?pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?i only owned the cassette tape version of 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours so i bought the iTunes version

55: Love or lust?love

56: In a relationship?yes!!!! @thesmashingpumpkins is my amazing boyfriend i like him a lot :)

57: How many relationships have you had?¯\_(ツ)_/¯

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?yeah !!

59: Where were you yesterday?i just literally worked at home all day.. in the wee hours of the morning i was at midnight run in new york city (delivering clothes/food to the homeless)

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?my sweatshirt !

61: Are you wearing socks right now?yyyyes and one has a banana on it and one has sharks eating people

62: What’s your favourite animal?snow leopards

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?this is a thing ????? i’m just. sarcastic

64: Where is your best friend?my best friend in NY is named abby and she lives 3 blocks away from me, my best irl friend outside NY is from Rhode Island, and shaney who’s my best internet friend ( @xkidiot ) is in CA !! i’m lov all

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@thesmashingpumpkins@xkidiot@danlitty@billiejoeshappytrail@poisin-youth

66: What is your heritage?i’m ,, white ,, european ,,,, lithuania, russia, hungary, turkey etc

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?texting/watching the movie w the green goons

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?armstrong. definitely armstrong.

69: Biggest turn ons?this is NOT THE SIN CHAT

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?I think so cause most of my friends are sarcastic and i’m sarcastic

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?gET THE DOG AND CARRY IT TO MY WORKPLACE AND SHOW MY BOSS I WAS BEING A MODEL CITIZEN ™

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a) lmao yeah, everyone deserves to know ?? people affect other people, that’s the point of life, so if i’ve affected anyone, they deserve to knowb) try to get to see all my favorite people even if i haven’t met them beforec) i mean probably ??

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?so many ,, yellow submarine and JOS and so many others

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?8903

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?knowing that the other person cares about you and about the world in general or just having it be with @thesmashingpumpkins , the most amazing man. ,

77: How can I win your heart?you can’t, jimmy already has it

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?hell yeah

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?learning guitar

80: What size shoes do you wear?8.5 women’s

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?idk some quote from the giver probably

82: What is your favourite word?mmm calcify

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.that song “heart and soul” that everyone knows on piano

84: What is a saying you say a lot?i’ve noticed i say “you know” a lot ,,

85: What’s the last song you listened to?eight full hours of sleep by against me!

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?blue ! all shades of blue esp bluey-greens

87: What is your current desktop picture?it’s that picture of young green day ™ in a taxi and they’re flipping off the camera

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?this guy that picks on jimmy his name is christian and he’s first on the kill list

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?variations on “how do you feel”

90: Turn offs?ddont choke me ,, don’t pee on me ,,

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?ccontrolling time ,,

92: where are your parents from? OH and NY

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?lol i went to the hospital once cause i couldn’t sleep for 4-5 days straight and everything about that was wild

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?i’ve said it multiple times before, ill say it again. laura. jane. grace.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?GO VISIT ITCHY OR SHANEY cause i can’t drive to them but i can drive to jimmy :)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?omg so many times

98: Ever been on a plane?yeah!! also so many times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?there’s no reason not to try your best

thank u itchy ;)

#long ass post #answers #i spent an entire hour on this

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