#sir this is a romance novel

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes Special Edition - Stupid Romance Novel Focuses On Stupid Romance!1!!1

Another video whining about how great the Twilight lore is and how ~awful the romance is, and how to ~fix it. Well, I do know what needs to be fixed—clowns not understanding what romance is. And thus we feast, on nom nom nom

Bella Hate Dumb Round ♾️

I did not read thousands of pages of four books to be told this character, whom I know now like the back of my hand, has no personality. In fact—fuck it, homegirl has too much!!!! Plus a full on character arc from low self-worth and poverty to wealth and empowerment!!! Give me literally any situation and I could tell you, 100%, how Bella would react to it.

Clown OP: Bella is so selfish and narcissistic!!1!!1

Bella: *relieved that James tricked her and she is going to die instead of her mother* 😮‍💨

Also, Bella not wanting to live without Edward and doing reckless shit…is because she is in love with him. It’s literally passion. As soon as Edward comes back 99% of her reckless behaviors disappear. And of course she is not stupid enough to pick fights with actual vampires!!!

“I hate X about Twilight!!!1!!! I only saw the movies!!!” Not again…I’m not strong enough…

But the Lore!!! The Lore!!!!

If the upcoming show does this, that is the day it will be dead to me and pretty much all thinking audiences. There is literally no other plot in Twilight but the romance plot, and if you take that away and replace it with yet another vampire lore shit, then what is the difference between Twilight and, say, Vampire Diaries? Nothing, which would suck because VD was godawful trash (the books at least, but from what I’ve heard of the show…😒)

These clowns never realize that in many ways Bella and Edward’s relationship go against the religious paradigm as well and subvert typical gender roles and behaviors (the girl wanting sex, the boy wanting to abstain, the girl not wanting marriage, the boy wanting marriage).

Actually, had Meyer decided to go full-on lore and ditched the romance entirely that would have been more in line with her religion. Christianity of all kinds is savagely anti-sex and eroticism and adores magic, fantasy, and made-up histories. That is what it is made of, after all.

Oh, Clown OP. You just opened a big can of worms that is my detestation for how the utterly creepy purity culture shitshow that was the Buffy/Angel saga went down.

As far as I remember, Buffy/Angel started out okay, if not particularly inspiring—just your typical teen drama romance. But then Angel loses his soul after sleeping with Buffy and become evil. Because of course sex is dirty and nasty and evil, and if you sleep with someone you and/or your partner ~lose your morality and become depraved.

Now that subplot reeked of toxic purity culture and I will always hate, hate, hate Whedon for doing that bullshit. To this very day, I get so angry at this stupid plotline—they literally could have done anything else to separate the two and they chose this! Awful.

“I hate X about Twilight!!!1!!! I only saw the movies!!!” Reprise (Scherzo, petulante)

(As for the hybrid thing, technically Jacob is a hybrid as well. He and Renesmee both have supernatural and human characteristics! Definitely not bad in terms of a basis for a future relationship. But once again, the imprinting mechanism is biological.)

Jasper already turned his back to his violent (vampire) past and deserted the (vampire) war. That was his redemption arc—choosing peace over war. We don’t know his feelings towards his time as a Confederate, but given the parallels the narrative between the human war and the vampiric one—as well as the neutral and distant way he spoke of it—that his Confederate past is nothing he holds dear. Jasper out of all the Cullens is the most vampiric, so it makes little sense for him to still be the proud Confederate or remember his human life well.

Also. Breaking Dawn literally had Brazilian, Spanish, Russian, English, Irish, Romanian, and Middle Eastern vampires—on top of our American vampires, our Italian-Greek vampire royal family, and our Native American werewolves. Oh, and indigenous Latin American hybrids. You clearly have not read the books, Clown OP.

There are no other storylines. Alice’s story was over the moment James was killed. Rosalie already got revenge on her rapists. The Volturi are power-hungry opportunists, but they don’t act without provocation. James and Victoria and Laurent are random nomads. What other storyline, OP???

To Conclude, Once Again

Thank you.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight clown takes #twilight clownery #sir this is a romance novel

[lloydfrontera]

male authors, writing m/m friendships: their bond will develop through hundreds of chapters, we will get to see each stage of their budding relationship, they'll constantly be in each other thoughts, their first instinct will always be to reach for the other, their first worry will always be the other's safety, they'll spend every minute of the day together, they'll be complete opposites and yet perfectly compliment each other, they will put everything they ever loved in risk just to keep the other safe, they will give their life without hesitation to save the other's, they will fight and argue and tease and joke around but they will always be at each other's side at the end of the day, they will plan to spend the rest of their lives together, sharing the happy moments and the hard times, the idea of being without the other being unthinkable, the thought of being always together coming naturally, as easy as breathing.

the same male authors, writing m/f romance: she'll like,, smile once at him and he'll start thinking of marrying her and having children with her idk

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #ch 368 #LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK SIR #i remember the romance being sudden but this is fucking ridiculous lmaooooo #it came out of fucking nowhere!!! it's so shoehorned in there they almost cut off the heel to make it fit!!! #i don't think they've spent more than like.... 12 hours in the same room in all the years they've known each other.... what the fuck.... #and in fucking ch 368!! literally 40 ch away from the ending!! #less than 10% of the way to the end!!! i thought i was exaggerating when i said 90% of the novel had no romance but no!!! #i was fucking right!!!! #this is........ infuriating skjashdkdsf #to be clear i am not saying friendships cannot do everything i just listed here #of course they can!! more friendships in fiction should be like that!! but!!! you cannot write a friendship between two characters like tha #and then put one of those two characters in a romantic relationship with a completely different character #and not give it even a tenth of the attention you gave to the friendship and expect me to find it realistic!!! or compelling!!! #either give it the same level of attention or just!! don't include it!! #that's also an option!! just leave the incredibly compelling friendship you wrote be the highlight of the novel!! #let it be the most important relationship of the plot!! let it be the happy ending for those characters!! that's perfectly okay!!! #FUCK!!!! #i'm fine i'm normal i'm okay

[mermaidsirennikita]

literally one of my favorite historical romance micro-tropes is when the hero goes to the heroine's brother (usually because the heroine has been all *Eartha Kitt voice* "Ha!!!!!! STUPID!" to a marriage proposal) to be all "waaaaaaa go make your sister marry meeeee"

and the brother is all "I shall not make her do anything she does not wish to do because I am properly the hero of a previous book or the hero of a future book and that means I must exhibit a minor regard for gender equality""

to which the current hero goes "welllllll 🥺 she may be pregnant lmao idk it's been like half an hour but SHE COULD BE"

and you just have this long dramatic pause where it sinks in and you can feel the brother hulking out

#romance novel blogging #and then it's FISTICUFFS AT DAWN!!!!! #or FISTICUFFS IN THIS FOYER!!!! #I BITE MY CHEROOT AT YOU SIR #it combines three things i love #a) dumb boy fights b) historical romance heroes' innate confidence in their virility c) romance heroes being WEIRDLY broody #they're always like 'i can FEEEEEEL my future child PERCOLATING you wouldn't UNDERSTAND a MAN KNOWS' #to this woman who's like 'i literally feel absolutely nothing' #they either need an incredibly overblown belief in their ability to sense pregnancy #or they need to have zero concept of pregnancy #to the point that the heroine could be 7 months along w their kid #and they only register DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNN SHE'S FILLED OUUUUUT

[queerb]

I like to think that Wyll does a healthy mix of creating his own devastatingly sweet expressions and reciting passages he's memorized from cheesy romance novels

#and maybe those novels helped shape the way he talks to a love interest #because god DAMN sir #they way he talks it's like he walked right out of one of those paperback 'the lady and the duke' novels #wyll ravengard #bg3 #the fact that he loves romance novels is canon has RUINED me

[uwmspeccoll]

It’s Fine Press Friday! 

We are excited to share Ivanhoe, a romance by Scottish historiacal novelist and poet Sir Walter Scott (1771-1832),  illustrated with linocuts by American artist and illustrator, Arthur Allen Lewis (1873-1957) published in two volumes by the Limited Editions Club, New York, in 1940. Ivanhoe is a historical novel that was first published in three volumes by Archibald Constable (1774-1827), Edinburgh, and Hurst, Robinson and Co., London, in 1819. 

The perceptions of some popular historical figures have been shaped by Ivanhoe, like King Richard the Lionheart, Prince John, and most famously Robin Hood.  Allen Lewis’s illustrations are funny and energetic. He strategically created  interaction across the the page-spread by separating the illustrations with the gutter. The characters awkwardly navigate the space of the page with the effect of them running, falling, jabbing across the book space. The space also may suggest a greater distance, where some characters are just out of reach.  This edition was planned by Allen Lewis who also cut the initials that begin each chapter and the linocut illustrations in two colors. The book was printed at the Marchbanks Press in New York. The type is Monotype Kennerly. The rag paper was produced by Worthy Paper Company, made specially for this edition, and the book was bound by the Russell-Rutter Company in New York. The book boards are wrapped with a silver pyroxylin cloth that is embossed in a chain-mail design. The whole book is cohesive and beautifully designed. It is definitely a favorite of mine. 

Look at how cute! Knights reading books! 

View more Limited Edition Club posts.

View more Fine Press Friday posts.

Teddy, Special Collections Graduate Intern

#Fine Press Friday #Limited Editions Club #lec #linocuts #Fine press books #Arthur Allen Lewis #Allen Lewis #Sir Walter Scott #Ivanhoe #Linoleum-cuts #Monotype Kennerly #Marchbanks Press #worthy paper company #chainmail #knights #historical romance novel

[howl-of-the-blood]

A sprite of Gruža in her semi human form and a doodle of her in her completely human form (yes I wanted to draw a milf, sue me)

#visual novel #otome #romance #fantasy #oc #art #hotb:art #howloftheblood #hotb #i love how different the poses are #sometimes i'm so fucking stiff #and then when i fuck around #i get so much fluidity #very annoying sir #oc:gruzha

[saint-jussy]

The one appearance of BBC’s Unreasonably Sexy Fabre, AKA Fabre Who Looks More Like Saint-Just Than Their Actual Saint-Just

#frev #french #bbc documentary #fabre #sir why do you look like a romance novel vampire #frev media

[kismetrose]

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sir Brash

Part 1: His Barks Are Mostly Love Bites Part 2: He’s a Giver Part 3: There Are No Lies in His Fire Part 4: He Feels For You Part 5: He Protects You Part 6. He’s More Than His Bad Reputation Part 7. He Tries Not to Take Advantage Part 8. He Isn’t a Wanton Killer Part 9. His Back is Up Against the Wall Part 10. He’s Desperately Lonely Part 11. He Takes You As You Are Part 12.He’s Willing to Share Part 13. He Loathes Target Practice - Err, Mark

This is a reminder to myself that I really want to review Demonheart as a whole and not just go on about Sir Brash. (Although damn did I go on a tear about him!) Revisiting it will be fun and I can't wait to dive into more VN stuff over the holidays.

#visual novel #pc games #steam #otome game #demonheart #english otome #otome romance #otome fandom #rolling crown #sir brash #bright x brash

[cuntylittlesalmon]

i’m finding it really hard to take more media discourse seriously right now because a lot of it tends to be hinder by emotional fragility. the “if something make me feel this type of way (namely the escapist, or the horny) it is inherently above criticism, and any attempts to critique (even if said critique is coming from a place of endearment) is an attack on my morality” stuff.

#esp when it relies on misogyny…….. #like attempting to create a new category of fiction is fine #it happens all the time. but when people tell you that creating That Specific Subgenre is futile & a defanging of the baked-in nature of #The Genre and you hit back with ‘but it’s WOMEN’S fiction!!!’ that is just misogyny #and the original critique was not commentary on your moral politics #however #you’re reaction is now that you have made it such #anyway. i saw a thread on ‘cozy horror’ and i wanted to scream #you are just describing GOTHIC. you are describing DOMESTIC. #these are things that already exist. and attempting to craft something new (and fucking vague as hell) out of it #on the basis of it being ‘by women for women’ (as comforting fiction should inherently be. no terrible bitchy women here no sir! /s) #is fucking futile. and misogynistic. #and this is coming from someone who regularly enjoys romance novels #i UNDERSTAND the desire for soft and escapist fiction #however when people find the politics in them & the discourses surrounding lacking….you can’t get in your feels about it #a lot of this reminds me of the rwrb discourse. it’s the poster child for escapist fiction. it also has some of the most milquetoast #liberalized politics. #like in your escapist fiction palestine is still being violently colonized? AND your find that jokes about that are acceptable? #before cmq removed the line there were tons and tons of these ‘escapist fiction’ readers in their feelings about being told that their book #baby had piss poor politics. are you incapable of seeing flaws in your favorite pieces of fiction? #i’m positive i could pull this into the fandomization of media consumption + the idea of media as identity but it’s dinner time #and i’m hungry :) #anw. sorry the tag essay for anyone who got this far 💀 #i have chronic can’t shut up disease #i would normally rant to my gf but she’s napping 🥺 and i don’t want to disturb her rn

[janealexandra]

#marmion #A Tale of Flodden Field #Sir Walter Scott #poetry #jane eyre #novel #book #reading material #classic literature #1800s #19th century #charlotte brontë #currur bell #victorian literature #romance #gothic fiction #period drama

[shackld]

GOOD MORNING I JUST WOKE UP UHHH PTN WHAT IS THIS HELLO

Oh my God I'm being fed so well thank God this game actually gives two shits about their MC aaaaaa

#AAAAAA #why does she look like a romance novel mc #who she modelling for HUH #;sir this is my emotional support cringefail gacha game protagonist. (ooc)

[kazz-brekker]

i have bridgerton on the brain again and so i am once again wondering how the show is going to handle eloise bridgerton’s season assuming it goes far enough to have one. i have not actually read to sir phillip with love (yet–i do love a good epistolary romance so i most likely will at some point) but i have read several of the books set before it and the way eloise appears in them is frankly uhhhh different enough i cannot imagine how they will give her a romance without it feeling astoundingly shoehorned in. eloise in the earlier bridgerton books is established as someone who does not want to marry a random man she doesn’t know just to fulfill society’s expectations and also has a great dislike of attending social events because she finds them boring/uncomfortable, and i felt like her early appearances did pretty well set her up as someone who would be happy marrying for love and then moving to the countryside with her introverted naturalist husband. whereas eloise in the tv show has an extremely vocal disdain not just for boring social events, but also for pretty much all men and the institution of marriage in general and, frankly, comes off as well. a teenage lesbian who has realized heteronormativity is bullshit but has not yet realized she likes girls. and i truly feel that not only could the show have written her differently, but they probably should have, knowing she IS going to have a romance and marry, and now they have written themselves into a corner and have no way of doing a proper eloise romance without making it feel like she has been replaced by an alien. which kinda sucks because i hate when characters in the romance genre completely change all aspects of their personality when they fall in love and no longer have the same priorities or interests. and because bridgerton does not seem to realize that both benedict and eloise are gay in the tv universe and should respectively kiss penelope and that random artist guy, her season will probably involve her personality doing a complete 180 when it really didn’t have to.

#this just in: i have enough thoughts on romance novels to make a very long post about them at 11 at night #pie says stuff #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #to sir phillip with love #phillip crane #anyway. eloise bridgerton gay or at least bisexual with a preference for woman. netflix pls hire me i have thoughts

[subsequentibis]

the harper audio discworld audiobooks are so weird. the narrator's great but they put in these musical breaks that i feel like in other books would have been put at the start and end of chapters, but in discworld are just tossed seemingly at random in the middle of scenes. i've noticed this in monstrous regiment and wintersmith, not sure if they're in others too. what is UP with that.

#ignore me #however due to my yearly monstrous regiment relisten pledge i can hum that one by heart #it's a decent marching tune with a nice drum & flute and a fitting brass 'womp womp' at the end #the wintersmith one is this tinkly sweet fairytale piano that does not work At All #it's what wintersmith would have been if not written by sir terry pratchett. real romance novel stuff #(nonderogatory on the romance novel bit i have no problem with the genre but that is Not what wintersmith is) #ANYWAY done blogging about my very niche problems. For Now.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Rules for a Proper Governess, which is what I'm approaching as a "everything you like about Sir Philip Book but without the bullshit" novel, thus far features:

--a pickpocket heroine who steals the lawyer hero's shit, after which he chases her down to the like... basement... where she lives? Goes "bitch you live like this???", has a minor panic attack about his dead wife, and passes out

--(he wakes up and realizes she's like dragged his unconscious form so that his head is on some pillows lmao I died)

--(they make out when he wakes up)

--he does a good "get your head IN THE GAME, Sinclair!!!" @ himself, only to come home like two days later (during which she JUST. STALKS HIM.) to find that his governess has left because his children are nightmares, our heroine is there because stalking, and the kids love her

--so he's just like "FINE. YOU CAN BE GOVERNESS FOR NOW" before watching her walk away and resigning him to just. not sleeping. because boner.

Already, \this is much better.

#romance novel blogging #how do you fix Sir Philip Book? by making the characters good #as it turns out #i can already tell that sinclair mcbride has no idea what a plant is #aaaaaand he's been FUCKIN #he misses his dead wife a lot but he's also like “a man's gotta eat” #so he just. fucks widows. #but he also can tell our heroine (bertie) has never been kissed so after he sticks his tongue down her throat #he nobly backs off #which i'm sure will last about 30 seconds #(unlike sinclair who will probs last three hours) #i also really love bertie tho #i LOVE. a stalker heroine #like she has Reasons lol but it's also like #she wants to sniff his boxers

[hopeful-hufflepuff-peeves]

I am where meet cutes come to die

#i literally meet people in the cutest ways and then poof gone #like where did you go #come back i want my full romance novel not just the introduction #meet cute #why do they always disappear? #i have so many i can write a weird book about it #romance #personal #shit post #yo boy where you goin? #my legs went to jelly and now i gotta start all over again #damn it sir

[kismetrose]

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sir Brash

11. He Takes You As You Are

Once you see just how lonely Brash is, it’s hard not to feel some sympathy.

Warning: this post has minor spoilers.

I don't mind where you come from As long as you come to me I don't like illusions I can't see them clearly

I don't care, no, I wouldn't dare To fix the twist in you You've shown me eventually What you'll do

I don't mind I don't care As long as you're here

Go ahead, tell me you'll leave again You'll just come back running Holding your scarred heart in hand It's all the same And I'll take you for who you are If you take me for everything Do it all over again It's all the same - “All the Same,” Sick Puppies

Are you Saint Bright, sweet as the day is long? Brash might chide you for it, but he’ll pull a lot of punches for you.

Are you Rebel Bright, giving back as good as you get? He’ll go from barking back to being amused at your moxie.

Are you Destroyer Bright, full of mockery and homicidal tendencies? He’ll join you in laughing at others’ stupidity and lashing out at them.

Brash is more concerned for you if you’re kind and naïve, but whoever you are and whatever you do, he accepts you. He doesn’t try to change you. He won’t manipulate you into feeling things you might not be okay with otherwise (I’m looking at you extra hard, amulet boy). Even if you hurt him or talk crap about his people, he can’t seem to hold a grudge against you (unlike Ari, who has a definite line you shouldn’t cross). He sees you for what you are and only turns away if you turn him away.

#demonheart #rolling crown #otome game #otome romance #english otome #otome fandom #amare game #pc games #steam #visual novel #sir brash #bright #bright x brash