#sir. i love you so fuckign much

[typellblog]

so we all know 'seeing with love' in the umineko sense but let me introduce you to 'seeing with hate' i.e. my approach to fate/zero

i don't think its good but i think if you see with hate it's secretly the funniest fate entry of all time. the trick is not taking any of the characters struggles seriously

for example kiritsugu is just an incredible guy he's constantly moping about circumstances he directly put himself in. like he's so edgy and such a pathetic sopping mess at the same time that it goes past tragedy and crosses back around into comedy. i mean he cheats on his wife because otherwise he can't cope with the fact that he needs to kill her. he cheats on her with his personal adopted child soldier that hes also treating as expendable. oh no how are all my family members dead i only fired my special family killing rocket at them

kayneth is another character where the tragedy is so over the top it becomes absurd. like he's very much a tragic figure of the classic mold who starts in a high societal position and is undone by his hubris except. his hubris as presented in the show is. being kinda mean to waver? underestimating kiritsugu? and in exchange for this his life rapidly flips from blessed to possibly the worst two weeks any human being has ever experienced. the fiance fucking the hired help to getting crippled pipeline

speaking of lancer its like. genuinely moving to me that he can't find a single fucking person to fight for real in the entire grail war but his whole dying speech with his own spear stuck through him is crazy because he fucking. curses the grail in the name of diarmuid o'dyna and its just. buddy thats not why its cursed. its already cursed its okay. THIS IS A PREQUEL WE ALREADY KNOW ITS CURSED YOU JUST "GOT LUCKY"

you also have to love kariya he's a very sympathetic character apart from the one catch that he seems to have deluded himself into thinking he can steal tokiomi's wife by killing him. its so funny once you realise it. what are you talking about dude you're not gonna get to go hang out with sakura and rin and aoi after all this is over YOU'LL BE THE GUY THAT KILLED THEIR DAD. killing tokiomi is half the reason he joins the war and as soon as kirei puts tokiomi's body in front of him and aoi hes like oh fuck and the whole thing collapses around him

on the subject of tokiomi. what an idiot. what an absolute buffoon. like truly how dumb do you have to be to stack the entire deck in your favour and then invite kotomine fucking kirei to be your appprentice. the scene where kariya confronts tokiomi is so fuckign good because you can see him losing it as he realises the guy with everything he ever wanted is an absolute basket case

okay who next i guess berserker. look. i just love how. genuinely surprised saber is. when she finds out. Sir lancelot how could you hate me so much i never knew!

HE WAS FUCKING YOUR WIFE!!!!!!

[captain-mj]

hey idk if I missed what it stands for somewhere or smth but. rlly curious what ESU stands for in the GhostSoap Handler fic.

also,, 100000/10 fuckign,,, LOVING that fic so MUCH I am bouncing off the walls like the roommate's crackhead cat at 2am that keeps one from getting decent sleep

So this is the last chapter! ESU stands for Experimental Soldiers Unit (not the most creative but are most military names?)

Previous Parts

Soap gently helped Ghost into his tac vest while Ghost checked Soap’s gun. He went over every inch, making sure it was working perfectly.

Ghost felt a kiss be placed to the base of his wings.

There was a funny sense of finality that Ghost knew everyone around him must feel. Surely they had to.

Yet no one acted any differently.

It was a simple milk run. The only difference was Valeria was the target. It was fine. Normal.

Fucking… normal.

Ghost felt like he was on a tightrope. Soap was perfect. Soap was always perfect. But Jesus Christ he was tired. It ached. This longing to curl back up in his chair in Glasgow.

Graves’s words were going to him. But now, so were Alex’s.

“Simon, do you ever wish you could retire?”

“No.”

“I do. I think of one day never shifting back. Putting the wings away. Maybe just cutting them off so i can never be asked again.” Alex had seemed far away. Something had changed with him recently. Or maybe it was Ghost seeing it for the first time. “Can’t do it yet. Not while they’re still things to do. People to protect.”

Ghost hadn’t responded.

Alejandro seemed happy. Graves seemed happy. Was it something they were doing? Some secret?

Alejandro and Rodolfo got married. He saw the way they looked at each other. It was the way he looked at Soap when he caught himself in mirrors.

Why was that not enough? Why was loving Soap not enough to fix it? Fix him? Make him less tired?

But he did his job just like always. He sat quietly in his seat on the truck, listening to a Gaz and Price and Soap. They were talking about the mission, planning.

Ghost would go in alone and they’d ambush her. She knew they were coming so they expected a lot of fighting. It’s why it was important they stay and watch his back.

His nails dug into his skin. They were concerned about him. Price asked if he could handle it alone.

“Yes, sir. I can.”

Ghost went into the building, taking special care to be silent. Everyone else could get the enemies' attention. He just needed to find Valeria.

And he did. He found her with a hurt monster. A Damaged thing.

Nunez's wings were beautiful, but he had the same staining on his skin that Ghost did. Same curse.

Valeria looked at him.

He understood.

"I watched the military destroy Alejandro. Take men and return pieces of them. I just... couldn't let that happen to him. I stopped it in Los Almas when no one else did!" Valeria hissed at him, standing in front of Nunez. "It was selfish and horrible what they did. You defend them you..." She stared, slowly relaxing. "You..."

Ghost stared. He swallowed thickly.

"No, you get it."

Ghost hated her.

"If we're found, they'll take him away from me. They'll start experimenting on him again. Can you live with that?"

Ghost thought of an airplane.

"Go." He rasps. "Just go."

Valeria smiled and Nunez dragged her away, going faster than anyone Ghost had ever seen. And Ghost went out a different door.

He heard them realize Valeria was going South and Ghost started going North.

Simon knew he had to go home.

Hopefully Soap wouldn't be so mad at him.

His radio went off. "Simon. Simon, how copy."

Ghost took his radio off and dropped it on the ground.

"Simon. How copy."

Ghost listened to them try to call him back. He took off his vest and left it on the ground. His dog tags were left a few feet away from them.

He hoped Alex would leave soon. He deserved it. Gaz deserved it. To know his sweetheart would be coming home.

Ghost remembered his journey to Texas after Mexico. It felt similar. His feet bled. His chest convulsed. The little thing called his heart beating and fluttering randomly. It begged him to go back or lay down and die.

What are you without the military?

Don't know. I'll figure it out.

What are you without Soap there to hold your hand?

If I never let go of his hand, I'll never have to know.

Ghost found himself crawling into Soap's bed in Glasgow. He showered first, not wanting to dirty his sheets. Soap had been there recently it seemed but left again. His body sank into the pillows. Too large and bulky but it cradled him gently.

When he got up, he ate. He showered again. He stared at the walls before using Soap's computer.

First thing he did was snoop through emails to look at reports. They were about him. All about him. Where was he? Why was his gear left? Is he okay?

In one of Price's reports, there was a message at the bottom.

"I hope it goes well."

It was an odd phrasing. Just odd enough for Ghost to know it was on purpose.

Of course Price would know.

After a week of searching, life returned to normal. For them. Ghost was still in Soap's home. And after a lot of rest, he started to do stuff again. He started to look through more reports, but nothing was that fun. Then, he started to search the internet.

Ghost found his brother's old music. Silly teenage band music. He liked hearing his brother's drumming. The person singing didn't really matter. Just Tommy's drumming.

It led Simon down a rabbit hole. About his murder apparently.

There were videos upon videos about his family.

He watched every single one.

True crime videos. Women doing makeup and men making jokes.

it was nice, seeing his family together again sans his father.

Then, someone showed a picture of him in a bar, clearly drunk and hunched over. His body was already changed but the baggy hoodie kept it semi hidden.

"It's time stamped for 9:17."

"Time of Death was put at 9:19."

"How did he travel all the way home and tear them to shreds in two minutes?"

Ghost didn't do it. That night wasn't his fault.

The realization had him clawing at his skin and wailing until he worried the neighbors may call the cops. His head throbbed and his throat ached.

The black on his skin spread. It burned and ached and for once, Ghost decided it wouldn't be so bad to be half mad and feral. His brain hurt. There was so much heat on his body. Intense and furious.

A fever over took him. It felt almost silly. Like his emotions had gotten so harsh and bad that it gave him a physical reaction.

His body had an intense ache over it and it felt like the light blistered against his skin. Everything was hazy and out of focus, unable to focus on anything.

So Simon showered in the dark and he ignored that his skin felt so uncomfortable and that his feathers had started to fall out.

And then one day, he woke up, body incredibly sore from his fever but no more hysteria or fever. He ran his hands over his face, pausing.

His hands. They looked.

Normal.

No claws.

Just pink flesh.

There was a sound and he perked up. It didn't ring in his ears or go on for ages.

There was a click of a door and Simon went downstairs. His clothes hung off of him, no longer tight.

Soap.

Soap put his keys into the bowl. He looked exhausted. Red rings around his eyes.

Simon was stupid.

"Missed me?"

Johnny went for his gun before freezing. He just kept staring.

"Ghost?"

Simon stretched, for the first time in years not feeling the weight of wings and guilt on his shoulders.

"Just Simon."

"Simon."

"How about I make you a cup of coffee? Or food? I'm sure you're starving." Simon wanted to feel useful suddenly. It was an intense need to help that was interrupted by Soap kissing him hard. Simon only flinched back, worried his fangs would cut his lips. But there were no fangs. Just lips.

Simon yanked him closer and kissed him deeply, pulling him in closer.

Johnny pulled away and shook him. "You fucking disappeared. You fucking... You..." He kissed him again.

"I'm sorry. I waited here for you. I'm never going to let go of your hand."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it."

#Experiment au #Monster au #Monster!Ghost #Monster Ghost #Simon Ghost Riley #Johnny Soap MacTavish #Captain John Price #John Price #Cod #Call of Duty Modern Warfare #soap x ghost #ghostsoap

[juriyuna]

top 10 magical girls design-wise?

Shoot, this is hard! There are a number of designs I like, but here are 10 of my faves (in no real order):

10. Kirari Hikaru:

She's got a unique, recognizable silhouette, and the "toy soldier" aesthetic fits perfectly with how she sees herself as an extension of Yuna's will. It's always nice to see more magical girls wearing pants, too! The fur-trim jacket that she's got draped over her shoulders looks cozy; I'd love to see her wearing it properly one day.

I remember seeing fanart of Hikaru way back in early 2020, shortly after I first got into magireco, and being so excited for the game to get to Arc 2 so I could learn more about her. :') I've got a soft spot for her because of that, haha.

9. Yukino Kanae:

Kanae's design is just so cool! It's got a very pleasing colour palette, and her outfit does a good job of balancing punk with some typical lacy magical girl flair. The shoulder tattoo-style soul gem is awesome, as are her oversized gloves and rusty pipe weapon. Masc characters are a rarity in magical girl series (perhaps understandably), which makes it that much more of a delight to me when we do get them. :>

8. Yukari Miyuri:

I want to cup her little face like some kind of small baby animal; she's so cute!! Even her colour scheme is endearing, especially with the little flowers on her dress and helmet. :') The white scarf is one of my favorite parts of her design. It's a nice accessory, and the way she fiddles with it in-game when she's nervous is adorable.

The bike shorts under her dress are a nice touch-- not only are they practical, they tie in well with her dark brown gloves and tights to help bring the outfit together. Points for having an unconventional weapon, too; those are always fun to see.

7. Izumi Kanagi:

The second I saw Kanagi while playing through A1C7 for the first time, I was like "ah... i'm gonna be in this fandom for the long haul, huh". im a sucker for fur and leather; sue me The black-and-white contrast makes for a sharp look, further improved by the shiny gold accents. Between the navy/military officer-style uniform (complete with some very flashy epaulettes), the fancy monocle soul gem (a cool concept in its own right), and the black neck ruff that resembles a lion's mane, she's got a distinct image of authority and power. Real "Sir, yes sir!" vibes.

6. Satori Kagome (Hyakki Yagyou ver.):

she's so fuckign CUTE AHHHHHHHH and the youkai Aru-chans are sweet as well!! I can't say no to those faces. ;_; Kagome's regular magical girl outfit is nice too, but this outfit takes the cake for me. The ocean wave geta are a clever idea-- she's got a "drowned ghost" aesthetic (the translucent flames, hanging seaweed, flowing white robes, and seashell staff), so it's kinda like she's coming out of the water.

The red and gold accents on her design break up the white/teal/blue palette in a way that catches the eye, adding a little more visual interest to really make it a solid design.

5. Kasane Ao:

Ao's design is another one that had me really looking forward to Arc 2 back in the day! Look at that smile; she's precious. ;; She has a more muted, limited colour palette, but it utilizes accents and small accessories well to keep it from feeling boring. Her boots are one of my favorite parts of her design-- they're super cool, plus they have a sort of "badass video game character" vibe that works great with the image she's trying to project. I dig the unique scarf/hair tie thing she's got going on; it kinda reminds me of a cobra's crest. :0

Funny enough, despite how revealing her outfit is, it doesn't feel that fanservicey to me? Maybe because I keep thinking of her skirt as more of a skort, so there's no risk of panty shots. The long sleeves help too, I think-- and her ruffled top is cute in general, especially with the bow in the middle. 10/10 my beautiful baby girl

4. Ooba Juri:

You can't go wrong with black, red, and gold! I've always been big into dragons, so I'm not surprised I latched onto Juri the way I did. I love her big ol' dragon backpack with its tiny wings and heavy-duty chain straps, and the fact that it's the fuel tank for her flamethrower. It's the perfect mix of cool and fun, which suits her personality really well. I'm digging the gradient in her hair, too-- the black fading to reddish-orange tips is a sweet look, plus it ties in with her title of "the Flame of Ryuugasaki".

Her >:) face is very charming, haha. She looks like the kind of kid who gets in trouble a lot... and she does, but something about her crooked smile makes her feel more like a delinquent with a heart of gold rather than an actual villain. It's a small thing, but it makes for some good, subtle characterization.

3. Chizu Ranka:

Massive props to GAOU for managing to make a "retro gaming"-themed magical girl design that gets the aesthetic across without being tacky. It's mostly in the fun little soul gem "game pad" on her dress and the black/grey/red palette, which call to mind old consoles like the NES. On that note, I never did outgrow my junior high goth phase; black and red is still one of my favorite colour combos ever. :') i suppose some would call ranka's design pink but it's more like a pink-tinged red to me. like ruby or cerise.

For some specific things I like, the black/silver contrast of her dress (/jacket... thing) is really sleek! I also love the cute ruffles and ribbons on her outfit, particularly the bow in her hair and the ones around her ankles. Honestly she's just super cute to me in general; I love her face and how she looks both fairly dainty and also like she'd shove someone into a locker. Her hair is very pretty as well-- the bluish lowlights look fantastic with the black.

2. Kureha Yuna:

It's great when a design conveys exactly which sort of impression the character is supposed to give. In Yuna's case, she's got a distinct traditional Japanese + oni aesthetic with her outfit, horn, and weapon, further helped by the gold/black/white palette being reminiscent of a tiger-- something that's both fitting for her as an oni and as the leader of Torayamachi. She looks somewhere between exhausted and like she's been crying, but she's also carrying a kanabo that's almost the same size as her body, implying that she's more brutal than her frail, tired appearance lets on.

It's also just a solid design in general! The colours are nice, the style is cohesive, and nothing feels unfinished or too open. I love how silky her hair looks, and the soul gem hanging from her horn is very eye-catching.

1. Izumi Kanagi (Eternal Darkness ver.):

This design looks like it came straight out of Monster Hunter or a Soulsborne game. It's so cool!! The crownlike hairpiece, the way her eye blazes behind her iron visor (unfairly awesome), the tattered jabbot, the chipped pauldrons, the fur cape, the ragged tailcoat, the scarring on her gauntlets and boots-- from head to toe, it absolutely nails the "disgraced king/knight" vibe. A symbol of destruction; the lord of something long forgotten... man. Immaculate. Her weapon- a torn pennon heralding nothing- ties in with this perfectly as well.

The whole aesthetic suits Kanagi to a T, and I love that they kept the fur trim present in her standard magical girl outfit. Also, pants! A rarity!! And her soul gem becoming the clasp on her cape/pauldrons is an excellent design choice; it definitely helps sell the regal feeling. 10/10 ough my in-game gems didn't stand a chance

#mikage and darkness mitama have solid 10/10 designs too #but i couldn't fit them in this post #magia record #asks #''favorite characters'' and ''favorite designs'' have a lot of overlap as you can see :')

[gremlins-hotel]

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　ANON LOVE　 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

Just wanted to stop by and share what I love about you and it's your art! I could probably ramble on and on and on about your art for pages and pages but only a smidgen of it would even be coherent, especially when writing about the way you draw Russia! And I can't remember the name of the AU, but that render of America standing under I think a sign in the desert? The lighting, the drama, and I'm not sure if you have fics too, but just from that image alone, I just know I would read the HECK out of that!! I also love your archaeology Jones blog and all the stuff I get to learn, something that has to be one of my favorite things about this fandom, thank you for being such a wonderful part of it!

Now spread the love! (But no pressure!) You can tag someone to say what you love about them, or if you're shy like me, drop some love as anon in their inbox! There's never too much love for us to share with each other 💖

so i've had this sitting in my inbox for nearly two weeks, trying to think of how to respond. nothing eloquent came. so i am thanking you from the bottom of my cringe-loving heart and here to spread some of that love in the most obnoxious way possible.

@ironicorange i can't not start with my goof squad, my beloved, my sunbeam. i love you lots, more than i can say. thank you for always letting me be in your dms with insane words and ideas, we both grow closer to delirium each day. watch your back you whore i'm going to steal your hands so i can one day draw like you.

@abbittheturtle my beloved irl bestie, this creature would be wayward without you. you are a fucking jewel and i will eat your art at every opportunity. also seeing you be happy in working with metal and jewelry has been amazing. i hope you continue to enjoy it! i'm wishing you love and luck with your move and good luck in our upcoming semester! i will be coming up there. this is a threat.

@temtamoo our romerica echo chamber and transatlantic 5g connection is so strong dude. your ideas are deep and your art is stunning, i love to hear from you always, regardless of the topic.

@artistically-hershie from late-night crazy au ideas to invading your workplace establishment to give you a soul-crushing hug, seeing messages from you so we can both be giggly and nuts is the best. also ugh, bro, teach me to draw.

@sunnysssol clown duo, clown twins, the dumbass squad. i will slobber for your oc and your art right here, right now. can i just say i specifically love how you color eyes. like bro!! the sol eye stare. trademark it.

@dusklikescats to you, who was one of my first more steadfast buddies after rejoining hetalia, i know you aren't into it much now, but i still light up seeing your messages. you have an energy unmatched and a contagious laugh.

@snackbar-chez-paro i drooled over your art for a long time dude and similar to miq, you became a fast friend. i always adore seeing your headcanons on discord even if you say wonderful things my tiny anglo brain doesn't always understand. you're awesome!

@irlusa you, good sir, are a fucking angel. and i will smooch you on the lips. stop living so far away!! i'm gonna fight the state. you are far kinder than you let yourself think and your art style is so fucking soft i'm gonna sleep on it.

@picturespurple-68 i'm sending you to the camps for revealing my classified secrets (code for i'm definitely going to watch more shows and movies with you someday). you are so very quick on your feet with ideas and always have fun ones to share. i could slurp up your writing like a fuckign smoothie it's so wonderful. i love our conversations and our hangouts.

there are so many more people i would love to ping but then this post would be far too long. return rebloggers and likers and people in my askbox, those whose posts i see on my dash and interact with, names i have come to recognize and associate with the crazy tunglrites, i salute you. and ily guys.

#callsign gremlin checking in #i'm feeling so fucking soft rn it's ridiculous goddamn ily guys #hhrrnngg

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Like Minds

Hey hi hello im about to watch Like Minds (aka Murderous Intent) and apparently the only way i can watch movies now is by liveblogging them so 🤷‍♀️

(Maybe expect the LotR trilogy next idk)

Like with Remainder i have a vague idea what this movie is about. Well, maybe a bit more of an idea what this is about. All i know is there are 2 teenage murderers and a TON of homoeroticism (not canon i think but youre crazy if you dont see it)

Also this liveblog/my watching of Like Minds was heavily sped up by @catlovingwitch who sent me a lovely ask which fuckign FUELED me to do this so thank you v v much ❤️❤️❤️

Once again, i am a T Sturridge stan so this will probably be very heavy on him. Unless over the course of this i become an Eddie Redmayne stan

Spoilers be ahead

Idk why im like. Anxious? Whatever.

Its starting aaaaaa

Eddie R screaming on a train (hes thrilled)

Ooh theyre stealing stuff?? T Sturridge isnt here yet

(The way its set up is Alex (Eddie) is captured by the police and is basically giving them The Backstory™️ which is where Nigel (Tom) comes in)

Oh shit he killed Nigel

Ok so psychiatry lady is here and her name is Sally

God Alex looks so young

Ooh this is interesting and actually really good

Flashback starting

THERES NIGEL god hes pretty

Lmaooo Nigel is the new kid and hes Alex's roommate and Alex is kinda pissed lol

Thats what you get when you snoop. Alex was looking in Nigels trunk and found a taxidermied cat(??)

Lmao Nigels in the doorway like 'Do you mind?'

Oh hes so concerned about his taxidermy

'Hes weird' they say as they explode a cockroach for fun

Lmao Nigel reads books about anatomy/autopsies?? yikes

Oof Alex is pulling the misogyny card. Hes telling the psychiatrist lady shes running out of time to have kids 💀 sir youre not helping your case

"Nigel got what he wanted." "And what was that?" "Eternity."

Sally is Over It. She doesnt think Alex is guilty

Shes listening to the tape she recorded from her talk with Alex and is like 'hmmmm'

Back to flashbackss

Oh god Nigels dissecting a bird IN THE DORM ROOM

Lmaooooo i love Nigel

Alex is PISSED and is like 'the least you can do is show me some common courtesy' and Nigels like '??? K.'

Well that interview just went to shit

So Alex was kinda taunting Sally but mostly the detective dude. So detective guy comes in and is like 'Gunshot residue says you were holding the gun when it went off'

Alex asks to see his father, the detectuve is like 'he cant help you', Alex panics a little, grabs Sallys wrist snd is like 'Nigel was holding the gun when it went off, i didnt do this' and the detective dude loses it and punches him and Alex is dragged off to lockup kicking and screaming

Apparently Nigel ALSO had GSR on his hands so anybody couldve pulled the trigger

Yall need to watch this fucking movie

Ok so basically a guard runs back in and is like 'He wants to talk'. Well actually hes holding 2 guards hostage w a police baton and is pleading to be let out of the cell. He fights the guards, loses and Sally shows up as hes on the ground being cuffed again. They sit him on the bed, Alex insists he didnt kill Nigel and then starts talking about someone being 'here' and 'listening' and Sallys like '???'

Ooh ok so Alex thinks someone is talking to him im his head?? Does he think Nigel is?? We are at a flashback btw

Wait did they already steal stuff off the train??

Alex youre a bit of a brat lmao

Wait was he stealing stuff for his dad????

Ok Alex and his friends are kind of dicks

Ooh Alex is challenging the pastor dude who is teaching religious history i assume

Nigel is looking at him like hes kinda in love

HOOOO CHECK AND MATE. GET REKT PASTOR DUDE

Lmaooo Nigel keeps dead things in jars. He has a big thing of formaldehyde hanging up lmaoooo

You know what i actually kind of agree with Alex. I mean thats p reasonable

(The Headmaster (who seems to be fond of Alex) sees Nigels collection of dead animals and is trying to justify why Nigel is there and allowed to stay. Alex is the first quote)

"He's a part of your club and nobody else wanted him so youre doing the 'brotherly' thing. Yeah well does my future depend on that?"

"Thats enough-"

"No, you dont give a fuck about me or this guy the only thing that you care about-"

"Thats enough!"

"-is the amount of kudos his father's-

"I said enough!"

"No, which is fine, but just dont give me the 'brotherhood' bullshit."

Then the headmaster slaps him and is like 'This boy will be made welcome' and walks out lol

Oooh theres Nigel

Lmao he walks in, slides in behind Alex, grabs his notebook off the desk and walks out, visibly amused.

Jfc Nigel is making psychological notes on Alex and his friends

"This little shit needs to be taught a lesson"

Alex's friend, Josh, is a pos. He just made a literal Nazi joke. To Alex's credit he tells him to knock it off

At least one of his friends has 2 braincells.

Are they straight up chloroforming Nigel??? Wtf

They dragged him onto the train unconscious

Oh shit Alex is like holding him outside of the door while the steel beams to the side are rushing past them. Nigel seems out of it tbh cause hes not freaking out

Josh is lighting firecrackers and tossing them out of the train and he dropped one and freaked so Alex and Nigel got back in. Nigel went to walk away and Alex pushed him up against the wall like 'Where do you think youre going??'. Nigel just spit in Alex's face and Alex punched Nigel

Oooooohhhh shit Alex leaned Nigel out of the door again and Josh started freaking out and told him to let Nigel go and the handle Josh was holding onto the train with BROKE

Oh shit Nigel just let him fall

Like he straight up waved his hand over Josh's hand to taunt him i guess and he got sucked out of the train wtf

I feel like the thing to keep in mind here is all of this is being told by Alex and hes Not a reliable narrator

WAIT THE HEADMASTER IS ALEX'S FATHER???

Oh yeah Alex is an unreliable narrator for SURE. Besides some fondness there was 0 mention of him being Alex's father. Or maybe im just dumb which is entirely possible. Likely, in fact.

Lmao Nigel staring at Alex like a freak at Josh's funeral until his dad nudges him like 'Knock it off'

Alex's dad eyeing Nigel as he walks away

Alex and Nigel arent roommates anymore

Nigel reading basically smut in front of class (in front of Alex 😏😏) classy smut im sure but still

Alex is watching rehearsals of the play and Nigel comes up super close like 'sorry about ur friend' and is kinda. Creepy and morbid about it. Which tracks

I think its interesting that TS's facial expressions and delivery here is SO reminiscent of his role as Dream. Ive seen him make these EXACT expressions in The Sandman while talking. Its odd seeing them on a younger face tho (not in a bad way)

Oh my god Alex just got a human hand in a package. 3 guesses as to who its from? (I assume. I dont actually know. Im not gonna do my boy Nigel dirty like that)

Alex vomited and hes telling Sally that when he got back it was gone

Nigel comes into Alex's room, gives him some papers to help with his essay while Alex is yellimg at him to get out and leaves lmaoooo

My boy Nigel doesnt deserve the slander 😤😤

"How did he know i was struggling with my essay?" Youre a dumbass and hes smart

"How did he know my topic?" Idk maybe if you made an effort to know him youd find out. Im sure Nigel can be charming when he wants to be but hes not gonna be on guard 24/7 so you got to see the spooky shit hes into when you were roommates

"I mean he had answers to questions i hadnt even thought of yet." Omg could Nigel be... Smart?? Impossible. Only idiots study anatomy and dissect things. 🙄 CMON ALEX

Jfc Alex you are dramatic as hell. Hes comparing using Nigels notes to 'selling his soul'. Just get the easy A my guy

Me every time Nigel comes on screen: 🥰🥰🥰

Nigel and the dog im DECEASED

The dog doesn't like ALEX oooooo

Dogs know who you really are 🧐🧐🧐

"I've never brought anybody here before. You're the first. Okay? First."

Nigel just wants to be friends 😭😭 he brought Alex to his hideout and the first thing he asks is 'Do you like it?' 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh jfc Nigel is as crazy as Alex

God that LOOK he gives when Alex is flipping through the book. You cannot convince me Nigel isn't in love with Alex

"An implement for killing. That's what I am." N I G E L

Jesus. Alex thinks Nigel is in his head.

Alex just asked a girl (Susan) out on a date and Nigel came up afterward all friendly and tried to give him a book and Alex completely cut him off

Poor Nigel :(

Ok also poor Alex but i don't feel as bad for him cos hes an ass

Holy shit did Nigel kill someone?? Alex woke up and someone threw a knife on his desk stuck to a Jack playing card with blood

Oh my god its Susan (that girl Alex was gonna go on that date with)

Nigel this doesnt look good for you buddy

Nobody's accusing him but she was kinda.... dissected. Its pretty graphic if you watch this movie just be aware

Oh shit she was in the school greenhouse

I think Alex did it. Hear me out. Hes the one telling this story. If he did it, hes gonna tell the story in a way that makes Nigel look bad. Nigel, conveniently enough, cannot say anything otherwise. Cause he's dead. I think at the very least he did kill Nigel but telling the story this way makes him the hero for killing the big bad serial killer.

Ok back to the movie the knife and the card are gone from his desk and Alex is looking for Nigel.

Now the detective is getting statements from all the students who saw Susan before she was killed

Oooooh Alex got caught in a lie

'Ooh I sense some hostility' just kiss him already JESUS

OH SHIT. Nigel is remorseful about what happened and Alex was like 'You did it. Didn't you?' And Nigel says 'No, Jack. You did.'

(Jack is a nickname. It's explained in the movie i just don't feel like rehashing it sorry)

Alex punched him

"Well im sorry Jack but you were the one who got inside my head." OHHHHH FOLIE A DEUX

Nigel: You can fix him? I can make him worse <3

And we love him for it

Something something criticism of upper class structures (see: quote above about 'brotherhood'), parents being not involved in their kids lives and not seeing obvious signs of mental illness due to that (Nigel's... everything and Alex's authority issues, sense of grandeur and family issues)

This scene is where Alex's dad tries to get the detective to drop the charges and tries to use his connections to the detectives father to do so but he refuses to drop it.

Oh shit apparently theres no evidence Nigel did anything to Susan

Also apparently the detectives cant find Nigels parents so 🤨

Hmmm

Sally is gonna look at Nigels hideout

Damn Nigel had a TON of notebooks

Oh SHIT Nigel had photos of a sleeping girl

Nigel its really hard to defend this i hope you know that

Oh fuck theres a dead body under Nigels house

Apparently 2??

ALEX DID IT. FINAL ANSWER.

Nigel showed Alex the hideout!! Alex was the FIRST and ONLY person (besides Nigel) who knew about it!!! The bodies were fresh!!!! Alex did it. Nigel my babe ill defend you to the death Alex is a psycho

Its ride or die for Nigel Colbie in this house

Aww Nigel introduced Alex to his parents

"Helen and John, this is my best friend Alex. Hes working on the play." Oh yah rich ppl are fucked up. Imagine introducing your parents to your friend by their FIRST NAMES 🤮

Ooh he just read Nigels bible

Nigel thinks hes directly descended from the Knights Templar

See, Alex seems to be reading this like it's his first time seeing all of it. But HE BROUGHT IT UP FIRST. In that class with the pastor earlier. Nigel was watching him. This was right before Nigel started pursuing him (and i don't think this was how it happened. Hold on i'll talk about it later. I think Alex went after Nigel. And I've seen other people think this as well)

Alex's mother died while giving birth to him and he told his father that her death was his fault since he got her pregnant 😬

Oh god

Ok so

Sally found a card that said 'My beloved Maraclea' and Alex is telling her who Maraclea is

Maraclea was the lover of a knights templar in the 13th century who died and the knights templar. Uh. Had sex with her dead body. And basically 9 months later he goes back and her skull is moved from her shoulders to on top of her thigh bones which are crossed. He has to protect the skull bcs itll give them grest fortune or whatever

While hes telling her this theres a flashback to Nigel and Alex meeting up at night and uh. Theyre in a morgue.

I dont like where this is going 😣

Oh fuck its Susan

Is. Is Alex gonna necrophile Susans body

Did he do it???

Hes saying Nigel took him there to basically recreate the whole Maraclea thing but its ambiguous as to if he actually did it

Holy shit thats fucked up

So Alex is watching through the window

Nigels father found those photos that Sally found and. Um. I think those are of Nigels mother actually.

Implied incest/CSA warning (im gonna italicize it. Skip the italicized part. Nothing graphic and not even really explicitly abuse but theres an accusation being made basically. CSA bcs Nigel is 17)

Nigel is in his bed and so is his mother. Shes in a slip and hes in pajamas and his father is holding a gun and yelling and basically accusing them of sleeping together (tho Nigel is 17 and also thats his mother so uh. Yeah.)

Tbf it only incidentally looks like that and she claims they were just talking. But also i have no reason to trust her so uh. Yeah.

Oh my god

Nigels father just shot his mother right next to him.

Holy fuck.

Alex came in and grabbed the gun and asked Nigel what hes done and Nigel said she was 'chosen'

Alex points the gun at Nigel and Nigels dad gets in between them and is shot by Alex

Oh my god wtf

'Ill have my Maraclea' What. In the actual. Fuck.

And he just. Casually dumps his fathers organs into the fire.

"Dont you think they're gonna be missed?"

"Well as long as they dont find her nine months it doesnt really matter, does it?"

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Nigel i cant defend this.

Oh god Alex did it too with Susan

Tom Sturridge angry with a shotgun is something i didnt know i needed but im glad i have it

Oh shit they both did it

Nigel used Alex to kill himself

Holy shit

Alex had the shotgun pointed at Nigel and Nigel is very obviously upset and doesnt understand why Alex thinks hes the crazy one.

He told Alex to pray for him, reached up and pulled the trigger while Alex was holding the gun

ALEX WALKED????

HOLY SHIT ALEX IS MAKING HIS OWN BIBLE

HE LEFT AN ENVELOPE ON SALLYS CAR AND IN IT THERES A JACK CARD THAT SAYS 'MY BELOVED SUSAN'

Holy fuck he broke into Susans tomb and took her skull

Holy shit hes doing the same thing Nigel did to him to someone else

Roll credits

Ok ok ok wow so um.

I dont think Nigel did it

Well ok. I think the truth is somwhere in the middle. Alex is putting a lot of blame on Nigel for someone who may or may not have killed 2 people to Nigel's 1

God its so hard to collect my thoughts about this film. Also its like 2 am so uh. That doesnt help.

I think Alex had a more dominant role than he let on. Also considering how quick he was to pick up the mantle, idk. I just know while watching this i was surprised by how much Alex killed even as Nigel called himself an instrument for killing. All Nigel did that we know for certain was let a kid fall out of a train. Alex straight up shot Nigels father.

Nigel is more quiet and reclusive and morbid and Alex is more intelligent and outgoing.

Of course Alex makes a point to emphasize how morbid Nigel is and ive already pointed out how i think Alex is an unreliable narrator. Alex is smart. He knew how he needed to tell the story and he succeeded. He got off scot free.

Unfortunately i dont think Nigel would have been able to do that. Nigel was smart but not as smart as Alex. He would have slipped up

So what happened to Susan? I keep going back and forth on this. I think it could go either way. But i hate to say it. I think Nigel did it. This whole thing kinda goes back to the Maraclea thing and Nigel knew about it already. So he kills Susan and guts her so Alex has his Maraclea and he goads his father into killing his mother so he 🤮 has... his...

Basically i think Nigel is more evil but Alex had a bigger part than he lets on

Its v v complicated. Or its just 2 am idk. (respectfully) Leave your thoughts if you feel so inclined

Oh my god he said Alex killed her because in Nigels mind he chose Susan as his Maraclea oh good lord

(But Nigel is pretty and fictional so we'll give him a pass)

Im definitely rewatching this at some point. Its actually really good

Ok thats all lol bye im gonna go see if theres Like Minds fanfic

#tom sturridge #like minds #eddie redmayne #murderous intent #tw necrophillia #like. its kinda In There so uh. yeah

[waterhorseyblues-ao3]

FrostHawk for 7, 10, 13 or 22 👀 whatever you think its. That's as narrowed down as I could get since "all" isn't an option 😂

tumblr fuckign ATE MY POST the first time i answered these and i NEARLY CRIED

anyway you can game the system and just send me manageable chunks of the full list over a long period of time and then you get "all"

***

(…to shut them up.)

Loki loved to talk. He could talk the sun down and the moon to waning. He could talk circles around an orbiting planet. He could talk his way out of a Chinese puzzle box. Loki could talk when there was nothing to talk about.

Clint had got into the habit of switching his hearing aid off, and enjoying an hour's peace before his frequent visitor even noticed. Loki would then sulk up a storm until sulking got boring, and he would talk again.

Clint hated to admit it, but when he did listen to Loki, he thought he was funny. Between the bullshit and exaggerations, there were also kernels of truth in there that betrayed his true intelligence. Also, when he did shut up, he was pretty attractive.

Attractive enough.

Loki was midway through rambling about some journey he and Thor had gone on as kids when Clint interrupted by leaning in and covering his mouth with his own. Loki kissed back, surprised but pleased by the development. When Clint pulled away, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey, shut up," Clint told him. "You got better uses for that mouth."

Loki grinned and pulled him into another kiss.

***

(…desperately.)

"Sir?"

Clint had found him tucked away in a quiet corner where he had been trying to get his thoughts together. His whole body hurt and his head was full of fuzz. The archer had removed most of his usual gear, likely to keep it in good condition. He seemed softer this way.

He reached out to grab him by the arm and pulled him close. "You'd do exactly as I told you, am I right?"

"Yes. Of course." Clint's brow furrowed.

Things were going bad. Very bad. He'd thoroughly underestimated who he was up against and everything was a lot more complicated to figure out. They were running out of time.

His head hurt so much.

"Kiss me."

"Sir?"

Loki yanked Clint close to him, arms tight around his waist as he kissed him harder than he'd ever kissed anyone. Clint flinched at first, grabbing his arm to stop him, thinking he was under attack. Then he froze. Loki's mouth on his was not what he'd expected at all.

But Loki was shaking, like the rumble of a volcano about to errupt.

Clint closed his blue eyes and did as he was told, kissing Loki with all he had, offering the god the only solace he could.

***

(…discreetly.) (or not so)

They weren't official yet. Or, rather, not officially official. They were official between them, but they hadn't said anything yet. Loki wanted to, Clint wanted to hold off. It wasn't that he was embarrassed or ashamed - except maybe he was a bit embarrassed - but more he knew he wouldn't be able to stand what everyone would have to say about it.

They'd both changed a lot since New York, things were different, they'd sorted their shit out and now... Now he and Loki got sloppy on his couch sometimes. That was no one else's business!

Thor was with them at the bar, talking very animatedly about something that Clint was only half paying to. It was hard to give it his attention when his preferred Asgardian god was playing footsie under the table.

"Another round!" Thor proclaimed. "This one's on me. I was able to aquire some Midgardian money on a recent trip!"

"Ah, you can get the one after as well, then, as I carry none of that," Loki told him sweetly.

"You will pay me back later?

"Oh, yes, I'll make sure to remind you of what I owe," Loki lied.

Thor left them alone.

"He's gonna find out if you're not careful," Clint warned.

"And if he does?"

"I'm not ready!"

"But I'm so bored of this." Loki slumped in his seat, woefully hard done by. "Thor's not looking our way. Quick. Give me a kiss."

Clint glanced over. He was right. They were in the clear. He leaned across the table to kiss Loki quickly, but the god caught him by the collar and held him there as he pressed a fierce kiss to his lips, staying until Clint made a sound of protest. When they broke apart, he looked immensely smug. Clint frowned and glanced over at Thor once more.

The oldest brother, made a big show of pretending not to have seen.

Clint buried his face in his hands.

***

(…in a rush of adrenaline.)

Hawkeye was not just a code name, it was an earned title. Clint's aim was dead centre every time, and he was fast in his aim. Even in armed combat he was proficient, able to swap to close-range weapons and hand-to-hand with ease, approaching each fight with a fearless aggression.

Loki found it fiercely attractive.

The fight was brutal, and Loki was on the ground using magic and weapons to hold his enemies off. His limbs burned with exertion and sweat beaded on his skin.

He turned, seeing someone behind him, and tensed up, ready to take a blow he couldn't block. But then the arrow hit, and his enemy dropped to the ground. Clint stood behind him, bow raised.

"Barton!"

Loki hurried over to him, crossing the space between them in the time it took Clint to lower the bow. He gripped him by the shoulders and yanked him into a crushing kiss, open-mouthed and heated. Clint moaned against his mouth, wobbling as his knees went weak. Loki pulled away as suddenly as he'd come close, grinning down at him.

"Very good work. You'll be rewarded later."

Clint nodded, heart in his throat, and hoped he'd get a chance to do that again.

#ask #ultimateundesirable-bwpp #frosthawk #drabble #fanfic #i wasted so much time rewriting the first two #tumblr im gonna kill you with my bare hands #ANYWAY I LOVE WRITING THEM

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE S4E22 "These Are The Voyages"

Enclosed is my very reception to the Finale. My final words are found at the end of this post.

im shaking im yhelling the title of the episode- oh my god this is their final curtain oh my god RIKER EXCUSE ME YOU CANT JUST DO THAT SIR TNG AAAAAAAA ITS THE LAST TIME ILL HEAR THIS OP NOOOOOOO ITS BEEN A LONG ROAD FUCK TO GET FROM THERE TO HERE I GOT FAITH I GOTTTTT FAAAIIIIIIITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INTOOOO THEEEEE HEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTT TNG ENTERPRISE OH MY GOD SEEING UPDATED GRAPHICAL TNG ENTPERISE OH MY GOD THE LUNCHROOM DEANNAAAAA oh my god i missed riker's smile that fucking SMILE IN HIS EYES THOUGH oh my god these uniforms this TREE of a fucking man oh my god oh my god whip lash between ENT and TNG this hurts me oh my god… this hurts me , how old this makes me impossibly feel its playing with my heart so much oh fuck me im cr;yinggggggggg imi fuckign CRYINGGG and its oknly been like 5 MINUTES into the episode im gonna miss you shran this is so weird to see TNG and ENT uniforms simultanously man this is so ENT grew a little in classic presentational style trek has done literally since TNG but it still feels veryyyy TNG much like how DS9 and VOY all also felt very TNG in film feel

and reminds me of just how far into the past this show took place… archer thinks there will be another enterprise… it wont be the same? no we will remember each and every enterprise. each and every one of them … TUCKER….. NO. YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TROI. NO WHAT THE FUCK DID YALL DO TO TRIP. NO…. archer is cute? he is hes a big swimming retriever. man something is so sad about this episode - how they are now a virtual museum artifact of the past… t'pol talks and moving and expressing so not vulcan-like proves how much she has changed and grown as a vulcan its so.. wow. she talks so dynamically. trip. trip dont say that… papa shran huh weyoun always and forever… … dont … dont tell me shran goes like this….

ooo nice teamwork with ENT crew and then theres Riker XD SAVE HIM ARCHER GET HIM no… im so nervous im so nervous about the aftermath of the ENT crew… shran being nice is odd XD DATAAAAAAA DAAATTAAAAAAAAAAAA I MISISSSEDDD YOUUU trip is nice tho i wont lie i like this cooking montage but also this is the first time we see the chef… you cant tell me that riker was the … damn chef the whole time ….. why… why did something have to happen to trip….

oh my god trip's desperation to save his captain… his best friend…. god the panic in trip… this long haired villain has a very expressive voice and fitting voice his expressions are so good ….. ………………………. trip…… ………… trip……………. …………………………��……….. tucker…………………………………. ………….. tucker please……………….. ….

.. archer's white collar and the braids of his cuffs… phlox's fucking smile. the first of him. and the last of him. HUGGGYYYYYYYYYY GASP A HUGGGGGGG oh my goddd.. stoppp it doesnt make not crying any easier jumpsuit speech… OH M;Y GOD ITS THE STAR TREK TOS THEEMEMEEEE OH M;Y GOD THE ENDING MONOLGOGUEEE THE WAY THEY DID ITTT HO M;;Y GOID THE WAYYYY THEY DID THAT OH M;Y GOD THE THREE ERAS THE VOICES THE THREE ENTERPRISES OH M;Y BKHUGOCDU4EA4U8HG05 JHHP--- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tears just … came. seeing all that it was…. hearing all that it was… the past was greeting us into the future it made for us all to cherish. short as it may have been - for what it gave, and aside from its tragedy, justified or not, for all that is was and all that came after - this was a beautiful ending. I love this series. Star Trek: Enterprise is a beautiful addition to the Star Trek family. out of all the classic star trek series, with TOS at the base, Star Trek: Enterprise has earned its place as my second favourite classic Star Trek series. It has made its mark. And a mark I will not ever forget. Quick as the finale may have been - it left me with implications and feelings of overwhelming love. And when I thought it not possible -

I love Star Trek.

Even more.

And through these yet unending tears I say -

Thank you for what you have given us and for allowing us to follow along on even a part of your legendary unprecedented journey; among the stars; among our most faithful hearts who believe and will take us wherever it takes us - from there to here.

Farewell, Star Trek: Enterprise.

#thank you for everything #i will never forget #ever #star trek #star trek enterprise #enterprise #thoughts #reaction #text #almalvo #Jonathan Archer #T'Pol #Phlox #Malcolm Reed #Travis Mayweather #Porthos #Hoshi Sato #Charles “Trip” Tucker III #It's been a long road.

[bonesandthebees]

!!!!!!! i haven't commented in a while but i've been reading hanging rose and. squealing shaking gasping HANGING ROSE.

i love Love LOVE reading your wilburs because he feels so tragic. stars and glass and now rose. like he's made to be this sharp and all-clever figure, with all these expectations on his shoulders as bastard prince or prophet figure or the future royal consil; and deep down he's flawed and anxious and v v lonely, and these expectations are heavy on him, and everything about his circumstances are tailor-made to needle at his worst anxieties and problems!!

like my god. wilbur can never catch a break and this narrative is a fucking nightmare /pos

rose!wilbur especially he's interesting because he's definitely got the ambitions and poise for a future consil, but he feels. idk how to word it. too kind? i think. like he takes keeping secrets like a burden (Keeping quiet around Niki had been more difficult than he expected it to be). i don't think he really could be a wily all-knowing plotter type like rose!phil seems to expect him to be.

oh and let it be known i'm glaring so hard at rose!phil. sir i don't think your son can relax with you in the room. you fucked up a perfectly good kid is what you did! look at him!!

and ALSO this bit:

“That means that as of this moment, Tomys is a blank slate.” “[Valbroek] wouldn’t have had time to start preparing him for a role like that before he had to be sent here. Which means that as of right now, Tomys’ perspective is entirely his own.”

entirely his own, uninfluenced by the valbroek court,,,,meaning tomys would be easier to influence?? a blank slate, unprepared, meaning he's more malleable?? naive??? manipulatable????

oh that's. that is just plain dastardly. but then again that's bread in butter in these fuckign court politics isn't it -

- 🖤

gahhh this means so much thank you!! c!wilbur himself is such a tragic figure in so many ways, and while his tragedies were largely in part due to his own actions, it doesn't take away from the tragedy that befell him. so I love incorporating that in different ways into my fics. he needs to be what people expect of him because he has people who are relying on him but deep down he's got so many problems and he's just lonely, like you said.

rose!wilbur has an issue with lying to people he cares about, but specifically if it's because of an outside force. he doesn't care about lying to most people, but being forced to keep things from people like niki and phil really bothers him. notice how I specify if it's from an outside source. ie: phil telling wilbur to keep things from niki. if it's wilbur's own idea... well, his morals are malleable, to say the least

I do want to emphasize rose!phil truly does love his son. like, he loves wilbur a LOT. he just doesn't really know how to express that outside of doing everything in his power to make sure his son turns out even better than him. it's unfortunate because of the stress it puts on wilbur and doesn't make it alright, but that is phil's way of showing his love. he's not good at emotions lmao

tomys is a blank slate... more malleable... easier to influence... less resistant to guidance... there are many ways you can put it :) that's how these court politics work

(tysm for the kind words!!)

#ask #black heart anon #rose ch 4

[hianiconrad]

new genshin event spoilers

(and ani’s ramble eggs)

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🌻🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

this is the exact reason why mondstadt is home and always feel like home to me no matter what happened in the game, i love my mondo babies so much. (my tinniest hope even thought we can get thoma in this event you know he would go back to see his mom due to the theme ‘family’, or maybe because i just really miss thoma (but i just feel like he is being forgotten by mihoyo at this point in the lore)

every event with mond characters are just so heartwarming, its just ugh so so warm and fuzzy inside just like my baby razor said, i love this city so much i cannot even write anything, venti as always being a damn precious green bard, you venti, i love you so much. i really hope i can get him but im lazy in the farming i have no primos- but him HIM

and yes i cried during the cutscene goddammit

yes my son its warm because you are a freaking ball of sunshine radiating happiness im going to sign a real adoption paper at this point istg

sjsksl the suspicious wine 💀

and do i need to say anything more these two with their angsty siblings energy, this is so fuckign wholesome i mean this literally is the closest point we get to them being renuion (AND i realised diluc will be so passive aggressive whenever he wants to show his care for kaeya lmaoajajsk, look at the deadpan face and mocking (normally kaeya steals this role) but actually he was provoking his brother to stay for dinner my my master diluc the table has turned this time im so proud of you sir 🥰

#i also am really happy to see a lot of pretty keaya #im whipped #seriously #genshin impact #Weinlesefest #genshin event #razor #venti #kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #thomato #thoma genshin #anie’s ramble eggs #my son also called kaeya fake smile adult #calling him out like that baby

[borathae]

Chapter 5 thoughts:

1. Oh I would like YNs morning routine of being eaten out, doggy, brunch and shopping too.

2. I missed Tae's chivalrous darling hand kissing sweetest doting affection too.

3. Him kissing jungkook flustering him. Flirting with him. Turning that cute romantic bunny into a mess aghhh

4. Istg I laughed so much at the height joke myself that portion is so cute and feel good.

5. Hoseok is such a Bro I love him??????!!!!!

6. Lmfao that whole she's a cunt versus I'm excited to meet her and then getting pissy af like that mood swing.. Sir.. Tone it down 🤡

7. But seeing all these old vampires and their lack of inhibition to just get down and slurpy with just about about anybody needs to be studied.. You could be married or mated to someone but *BOOM* a flame from 16th century shows up and your panties drop and tongues mingle first 🤡

8. I'm lowkey glad the whole polyamory confusión is starting to get addressed like yeah, tae is now banging kook, kook was being banged by yoongi and occasionally the OC. OC is being banged in the regular by yoongi. OC was and is being banged by tae. So there's a lot of square banging happening and I'm glad they're talking about it without feeling like this is wrong. I love the - but I crave him too vibe going on bcz girl same. I feel you.

9. The whole depressive drinking ep- 🥺 baby koo baby nini. I really feel the whole Emma thing May end up like Katherine from tvd where she dgaf. And about koo I get the feeling tae is gonna get iced😅🤣 that would be hilarious 😭

10. Yoongi is such an adorable strong character in this series I love how he's written. The firefly dancing sequence was so romantic so now I want YNs evening routine too😭🤣🤣🤣

I read this chapter at 2 am last night and finished at 2 30. I wanted to write a whole ass ask but I realised it would take until 3 am at the very least🤣 so here I am at 12 noon💞 have a nice day sibuuuuuuu

I am EATING UP your thoughts yes send me all of them I fucking love them 🥺💜💜

no but I feel you so fucking much 😩 especially when it's Kim fucking Taehyung 😩

me too!!! I miss him so much!!!

I honestly fucking want them!! Please they are so fuckign cute!!

jfadjf I am happy you appreciated it. I both cringed and laughed whilst working on that part HAHAH

he IS such a bro and I want him to always be happy :(

jfdasjf honestly they were both fucking idiots in that scene like please my bois it's not that deep

WHY AM I SO INTO THIS CONCEPT THOUGH?? LIKE I'M FUCKING DEMISEXUAL I SHOULDN'T BE SO INTO THIS BUT I AM FANDSNF

I'm happy that you feel that way! I want to include conversations about that topic without making it all about the "i jealous bby" trope cause this trope suck ass lmao. I do want to show the struggles a poly cluster might go through though, so I'm happy you liked the conversation she had with Hobi

Nini has to be the cutest fucking nickname for jinnie ever :( our little nini :( also interesting theory about Emma mmmhmh and kookie our baby :( honestly I think I wouldn't even be mad at him if he kicked Tae in the nuts jfajds

THANK YOU!! OMFG YOONGI BOONGIE IS MY BBYBOY AND THAT FIREFLIE DANCE SCENE IS BURNED INTO MY MIND ETERNALLY!!

I love your long messages so much!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, it makes writing and posting so fucking worthwhile 🥺💜💜💜

#asks: magnus venatio #asks #afangirllikeme blog #reviews

[period-dramallama]

Becoming Elizabeth episode 4 review: oh light of my darkness

TLDR: Better than the previous episode but still has issues.

-For a guy who is a very experienced courtier, Sir Anthony Denny sure lacks social skills. That guy served Henry VIII personally. He should be a smooth talker, adept at handling bad-tempered Tudors.

-A nice connection to my blorbo Francis Walsingham: Anthony Denny is his uncle!

-Kat Ashley shaming Elizabeth...babe you are throwing stones from inside a glass house with very fuckign thin panes. Stop it.

-So much for ambiguity. In summary: thanks I hate it. Boy do I hate it.

-Altar stripping time!

-”Filthy fucking Catholics” does nobody know the word papist??

-A guy who has just lost an eye should really be screaming more??

-The new prayer book! Which magically appeared ex nihilo because we have no Cranmer. You’d think a theocracy would have more bishops not fewer.

-Catherine not replying to Elizabeth’s letters...thanks I hate it. How much shit must this show fling at her grave?

-”The only person who finds you remotely worthwhile is an eleven year old boy” excellent point

-”It’s like watching a goshawk hatch from a goose egg” Terrible: Worst Person You Know Just Made A Good Point

-Why is Lady Denny wearing a polo neck?

-HOW can this show write Mary so well and Catherine so badly?? The writing of Mary shows they know what a complex grey character looks like

-Mary Tudor really did love gambling. Also gambling with an eleven year old... and the eleven year old WINS. I love it.

-Skinny dipping... why was that kept in... DELETE IT

-Tom Cullen and John Heffernan continue to slay

-The music was so good, with the choir. THAT IS THE MUSIC I WANTED THE WHOLE TIME

-Mary kneels to God, Elizabeth to Edward. SYMBOLISM.

#becoming elizabeth

[evansbby]

I follow you because your writing is ✨chefs kiss✨ and you’re so sweet. Also also, all your fics pertain to Chris Evans and he’s probably the only celeb (next to Seb Stan) that I will ALWAYS be down bad for. Like rn I’m hyper fixated on another actor but I can (and WILL) fall back on C Evans. Your tastes align with mine and I’m realizing i have a kind of authority kink…which goes in line with “daddy” and “sir” fics (also ABO but I keep it on the DL bc I don’t want to be shamed😩). I’m probably going to beg for Professor Andy Barber fuckign reader in the future, but for now, I await POYT and yummy Ransom and Steve fics <3

thanks for feeding us hungry babes 🫣😵‍💫🥵

sincerely, 💊 anon

Awww you’re the sweetest! Thank you so much for leaving me this lovely long message! I’m so happy you enjoy my fics 💕💕😌

#anon #💊 anon

[hirochiisana]

missin summer....

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer fanart #fanart #uzui tengen #tengen uzui #hirochii #hirochii art #hirochii doodle #sir. i love you so fuckign much #do you ever wish to kiss a fictional character

[prismit]

everyone is so mean to khezu :( stop bullying my friend

#ghost town... 2! #monster hunter #YES I KNOW THEY LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR LITTLE SNIFF-SNIFF WHEN THEY WALK TOWARDS YOU #SIR THATS A FUCKIGN PUPPY DONT BE MEAN TO THEM #AND THEY SMILE!!!! THEY LITERALLY SMILE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #BABIES ALL OF THEM #i hope they put khezu in wings of ruin #if i can have both a khezu and an odogaron on my team i will cry #speaking of. please capcom can we get some news on that soon :( they haven't talked about wor for so long #ik its a relatively obscure spinoff to a just-coming-out-of-obscurity franchise (in the west) but still

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay that meeting between Damien and Mira was like. everything I hoped it would be and for all that I don’t like Mira I enjoy her a lot as a character

I love Kat Buckingham’s teeth-clenched precision and the way she teeters between Very Competent And Reasonable/Susceptible to Showboating Bullshit, between playing her best hand with a bad lot, backed into a corner but savvy about it, and turning around and just Saying Stuff completely unironically when it’s like ‘wait I could have sworn you read the same room i was reading’ just fits so well, and the result that Damien’s ‘yeah no at least I know where I stand with Sir Asshole Revival Preacher at least I can deal with him’ is just. such a neat sequence of events and makes so much sense as a character decision

but the biggest thing that stuck out to me in this episode is that

every FUCKIGN TIME

there’s enough of a lapse for me to forget about it

and then they casually drop ‘far-hole stick-ball‘ in conversation

and it SENDS me

#the penumbra podcast #second citadel #s4’s been feeling a lil shaky in places but i enjoyed the actual hell out of this episode

[damienthepious]

Arum needs one last hurrah of stupidity. I love him.

still need your teeth around my organs (chapter 10)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ao3] [ch 11] [epilogue?]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags:  Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Enemies to Lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Dueling, Sexual Tension, (because they’re IDIOTS), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, mutual IDIOTS, canon typical Arum ignoring feelings, Polyamory, (eventually lmao), Polyamory Negotiations

Fic Summary: Damien won yesterday, Arum won today, and now all  that’s left is to break the tie. The only issue, however, is that  neither of them are willing to do so, not until they are both satisfied  that they have fought fairly, and honorably, and one of them has truly won.

Chapter Summary: A fairly inevitable breakdown.

Chapter Notes: Yes, there will be one more chapter. Yes, I know i probably said that last time too. Yes, i have exactly zero control over this whole fuckign mess. But i am fairly confident this time. Next chapter should be the last one. Should be. Probably. Don't blame me, blame these fucking ridiculous flowers. Chapter specific WARNING for some pretty active suicidal ideation in this chapter, or at least, a sense of... acceptance of death. take care of yourselves please!!!

~

Damien is healing well. Extremely well. Amaryllis has even helped to modify less strenuous versions of his usual exercises, to help him rebuild his strength as he heals.

(Arum only knows this because the ridiculous knight is stubborn enough (or bored enough) to be out in the clearing next to Amaryllis' hut in the evening, shirtless and stretching as the dusk slowly gives way to night, breathing slow and measured, expression poised, when Arum slips from the trees.)

("While still bandaged, you ridiculous little fool," he growls, and Damien grins slyly, rolling his shoulders and shifting into his next set of stretches without pause.)

(Arum does not know what to do with the way his stomach pulses. He rolls his eyes, sweeps past the knight with a huff, and goes to join Amaryllis inside, instead. He pretends not to envy her position as they converse, leaning by the window to sip her tea, expression smug and hungry as she holds the curtains open with her other hand.)

Damien is healing well, which means that it is only a matter of time before he and Arum will duel again. Again, and for the last time, though he has not said as much to Sir Damien, just yet.

Arum doesn't know why he puts the conversation off. Perhaps it is because Sir Damien does not speak of their combat particularly often, during his recuperation. Perhaps Arum is simply following his lead. Perhaps it is because he does not want to cause any further anxiety while Damien still heals.

Amaryllis has explained Damien's paroxysms, his panic attacks, as she calls them. She has explained that he suffered one during the gap between two of Arum's visits, which set him back somewhat in his recovery, so draining they are to him, so much energy they steal. Arum would prefer not to cause another attack by forcing more stress upon Damien's healing, not until he is fully steady.

In the meantime.

Arum wins more games than he loses, now. Damien seems unbothered by the trend. He smiles wryly, in fact, and shakes his head, and he reminds Arum that he predicted as much before their very first game.

"I knew you were clever and strategic before I invited you to turn those talents against me on this particular battlefield, my dear rival," Damien murmurs, his eyes down as they both reset the board, and Arum pretends not to feel it like a static charge each time their fingers brush together over the pieces. "I can hardly complain now, can I? Besides," his eyes flick up, sharp warm amber, and Arum stills, "I do believe I am improving, anyway."

~

"Oh!" Rilla looks up from her almanac with a grin and a spark in her eyes. "Okay so- there's this specific, mildly magical species of moonvine that blooms exclusively on the new moon - newmoonvine, obviously, scientists aren't the most creative, speaking nomenclaturally - but that's not the only thing, it has this longer cycle, too, where, on a specific new moon once every nine years - every eight point eight five years, technically, but close enough - the flowers don't just bloom, they reach a point of magical accumulation in their cells that causes an overflow, and while they bloom, they glow, too." She pauses, grinning too hard to speak for a moment. "According to Cerastes-"

"Sage Cerastes," Damien pleads, clearly an automatic correction despite his own grin, and Amaryllis relents with a shrug.

"If the Sage noted the dates correctly," she continues, "there's going to be a glow-bloom in three months! And I," she says smugly, "just so happen to know the location of a grove of newmoonvine just about an hours' walk away."

Arum blinks, and- Amaryllis' excitement is catching, in an odd way. Clearly Damien is affected; he has that look in his eyes, that poetry look, all eagerness and art and pleasure, and Arum-

Arum can't pretend that he isn't fascinated by the idea. He has his own modified morning glories that will glow for him at various prompts, his own creations, but- it isn't the same as the phenomenon in the wild, a full grove of the flowers attracting luna moths and giant hawk moths, all glimmering with magical bioluminescence.

"It's still a few months off, and Damien, you'll be fine in like two weeks, so we don't need to worry about overexerting you! And they only bloom at night anyway, so the three of us could pack a basket, meet up around dusk. It'd only be a short hike, and then we could watch the whole thing together! I'd need to do just, like, a little bit of research to see how the reproductive structure of the flowers differs from their less-magical counterparts," she adds in a side-of-the-mouth rush, but she turns back with a grin, her eyes darting between the both of them. "But the rest of the night could be just for us! It coincides with the new moon, obviously, but the bioluminescence should be more than enough to see by and we could just relax, have a little midnight picnic, spend some time... together...?"

Her voice trails off. She must see the look on his face, whatever it is.

The truly painful part is that Arum can imagine it. Easily. He can imagine exactly how stunning they must look in full bloom, a full grove all growing tangled together, wild and thriving. He can imagine, as well, exactly how delighted Amaryllis will be to see them, exactly how fond Sir Damien will be to share in her delight, exactly how wide she will grin and how she will bounce on her heels. How she will snatch up Damien's hand, greedy-tight. How he will so fondly follow in the wake of her enthusiasm. How Arum-

The part he can't imagine: his own place, beside them.

(The part he cannot allow himself to contemplate: where he could be, beside them.)

"It's a long way off," Amaryllis says, her voice strained and high, truly nervous for perhaps the first time to his recollection. "We don't have to- I'm getting ahead of- it's not important, it's nothing."

It is important. He can hear it in her voice. He still does not know what he must be showing on his own face. It feels stiff. He feels hollow. He feels stupid.

Arum has been complacent. He has allowed all three of them to become far too comfortable with this- this nonsense arrangement, this temporary sheathing of claws while Damien heals, so comfortable that Amaryllis has clearly forgotten-

Death is the only ending his duels with Damien will be allowed. It is a cruelty to all three of them, to pretend otherwise. It is a cruelty to indulge in this comfort, when it will so soon be snatched away.

Arum would never be allowed to stay, not truly, not forever. Their positions- the Senate, the Crown, the war, they cannot, they will never be allowed anything between them besides violence, and it does not matter a single breath what they might want, what Arum might want-

Held breath. Prey-still, terror to the bone.

Does he- does he want?

No. Stupidity in the extreme. No.

But-

(Please-)

He does. He wants it.

This. Here. Them. The evening Amaryllis proposed. A thousand nights like this. Hearth-warmth. Tea with honey, Damien's voice, Amaryllis' laugh, the garden grove. A formless more that feels like a hot stone plunging through his stomach when he tries to place it. Amaryllis' hand on his shoulder. Damien's hand on his wrist. Hearth-warmth from something besides the hearth. He wants-

He wants all of it.

And he knows he cannot have it.

"Arum," Damien says quietly. "Are you alright?"

Of course not, honeysuckle. In two weeks you will be well, and I will be dead, and two and a half months after that, the both of you will hold each other in the glow of night and never need think of me again.

Arum stands, and both humans wince, sharing a look between them of obvious panic, and Arum feels a sting of strange embarrassment at their scrutiny.

"I-" his voice catches strangely, he flicks his tongue to pretend some intention in the fumble. "I need- to leave."

"Wait wait- wait, hang on, I didn't mean to-" Amaryllis reaches out, her palm almost pressing to his bicep, and he leans away just in time to avert the contact. "Arum. It's not a big deal! I just- I like- I like, spending time with you?" she tries, sounding uncertain and panicked, and Arum's stomach churns. "I thought- look, just because you'll be dueling again doesn't mean you won't still be welcome here. Be welcome with us. Okay? That's all I- I-"

"Don't be an imbecile," Arum snaps, and Amaryllis winces as Sir Damien stiffens at the edge of his vision.

"Arum," he says, his tone a quiet warning.

"It's nonsense. I- this is- this is my own fault," he mutters, shaking his head. "My fault for- I should never have come here in the first place, fell into stupidity drop by drop without even- I need to leave. Go back where I belong."

"Please," Amaryllis says, and this time she doesn't pull away when he tries to avoid her hand, she only steps closer and reaches to wrap her warm palm around his forearm, squeezing lightly. "I- Arum, I know I didn't do this right but I don't want to- I like having you around! I like being friends with you and when I thought about doing this it was just- it was just natural, to think that you would be there too, that it would be-" her smile breaks in the middle, her eyes overbright. "The three of us."

"I am a monster, and we are not friends," Arum snarls, and Amaryllis-

Amaryllis flinches, and pulls her hand back.

"Liar," she says after half a beat, but her voice wavers and her eyes- her dark eyes shine in a way that makes Arum want to dig his claws into his own scales. He turns away instead, moving stiffly for the door.

"Believe whatever you like," he mutters, stunned that his voice even catches on the words. "It does not matter. I don't plan on ever seeing you again anyway."

He slams the door closed behind him with his tail.

He moves swiftly, but not swiftly enough. He hears the door bang back open, hears Sir Damien's voice call out through the dark, hears footsteps crunching through the underbrush in his wake.

He ignores them. Tries to move more quickly, more quietly, but eventually, through the thumping of his own blood, his own harsh breaths, he hears-

Damien panting hard, hissing under his breath, audible pain-

He spins on his heel, bolting back and nearly running face first into the knight as he stumbles back, and Arum snarls, slashing a hand through the air between them.

"What are you doing?"

"Arum-"

"Go home, you idiot, your injury-"

"Will survive a light jog," Damien snaps, his brow furrowed with something that approaches actual anger as he exhales a panting breath. "Arum. Please. We can talk about this. You don't need to- to leave, to go hide away alone again when you could perfectly well continue to-"

"Do not act as if you know anything at all about my life," Arum hisses, stung by the realization of how accurate Damien's guess is.

He looks mildly abashed, however, and sighs before he takes another step closer. "Perhaps you're right. I do not know all that much about you, outside of the context of... us." He pauses, and Arum suppresses a flinch at the last word. "But... Arum, I would like to. Very much."

"You- what?"

"I want to know you. I want- I want the chance to know you. I have been... I have been grateful to have you near, to let you know me."

"Don't be an idiot," Arum growls. "Knight. The only reason you could possibly want more information on me is to better know how to slay my kind."

"But-"

"You are nearly healed. Two weeks, Amaryllis said. In two weeks, we will fall back into our proper places again and one of us will die, and all of this nonsense will be meaningless again."

"I... I understand, if you wish to return to our duels, as before, but- but Arum, it does not have to be- have to be all that we are, to each other, it truly doesn't, and my knighthood is-"

"I am finished with the charade, Sir Damien. This next time," Arum says, his voice coming dry as old leaves, "this duel will be the last. It is time we finally break the tie."

Damien stills, his expression washed of anything Arum could read. After a moment he inhales, slow and measured, and then he exhales with just as much control.

"May I ask," he says slowly, "what will make this next rematch so special, dear rival? I thought you would better like to judge our performance as it occurred, to see if we both manage to live up to each other's quite exacting standards."

"I can't keep doing this, Damien," Arum snaps. "We can't. We- it cannot go on forever."

Damien wets his lips, then takes a step closer. "Not forever," he says quietly. "No. Not forever, but- what has changed, then? What is so different now from before I- is this because of my injury? Arum, I acted foolishly and came to harm because of it, yes, but I think I have proven time and time again that I am a worthy match for you. The interference of another monster should not lower your estimation of my skills-"

"No." Arum shakes his head sharply. "No, that isn't- I do not think you unworthy, Sir Damien."

Rather painfully far from it, in fact.

"Then what is it? What have I done? Why-"

"I am tired," Arum snaps, but the simplicity and honesty of the statement burns his tongue after it escapes, and he shakes his head quickly. "I am tired of doing this. I am bored of the same match again and again, I am- I find I've lost interest in dragging this on and on and on," he lies, and he tries not to feel it curdle in his stomach, when the color drains from Damien's face, his expression stiffening in quite a different way. "This cannot go on forever, and- and I would rather kill it in one final battle while we are both still sharp and focused than to allow ourselves to wane and bore and- and-"

"I thought-"

Damien pauses, and Arum can hear his heartbeat thudding, hard enough that he expects the poet must find it uncomfortable. He does lift his hand, in fact, pressing it hard over the center of his chest as he bites his lip and forces his breathing slower.

"You said- I thought that you said that I need not worry, for that," he manages, his voice halfway to whisper, blank of expression. "That I need not worry about falling from your attention in my recovery."

Warm in Amaryllis' hut, drowsy and half-coherent-

Arum remembers. He knows what he said.

"You have my attention, Sir Damien," he says, voice flat. "My full attention. And when our final duel is over, one of us will have the full attention of the other for the last time."

"But-" Damien stumbles again, his face wincing before he rushes through his next words. "Please. I thought- I thought that this- this rivalry between us, I thought it meant something to you the way it means something to me-"

"Means something to- do you mean treason? To continue to allow me to live, despite your oaths? Monsters don't quite share the concept, exactly, but I certainly would not be ingratiated to any of monsterkind if they knew how long I had been playing with my prey without finishing the job."

"No, that isn't what I-" he shakes his head. "Arum. Listen- my injury, it was- I said, before, it was my own fault. I have been-" he pauses again. "Since we have had this- this- this understanding, it has been difficult- I have been unable to see other monsters as... as- as quarry, as I once did, and-"

"Nonsense."

"No. Listen. I have been- when I am sent out, I have- I have been trying, to reach out, to listen, to- to see things as they are, and not as I have been taught, not how I expect them to be, and this injury-"

Arum pulls his head back, horrified. "Was your latest idiotic attempt to- to do what? To try to make friends?"

Damien furrows his brow, huffing a breath. "It may not have been sentient," he admits. "Or perhaps it was unwilling to trust my intentions, rather understandably. That does not mean that I regret trying. There are other creatures, other monsters that have been- grateful, for a chance, or- suspicious, understandably, but still- monsterkind is not so simple as this monolith of evil, as I have been taught, and I have spoken to some, established a rapport with-"

"How good to know that after you slay me, then," Arum snaps, "you will have a brand new monster to entertain you and your bow."

Damien's expression cracks, opening with something like despair, but Arum cannot-

He does not understand, he cannot believe-

He spins. "The next time will be the last. Two weeks. Here. Midnight," he spits, and he does not listen to whatever Sir Damien calls out in his wake as he retreats into the dark.

~

Two weeks until their duel.

The Keep feels emptier, now, in a way he does not understand. They were never here, so- the feeling makes no sense.

He rejects three contracts outright. He is making enemies, likely, but he simply cannot-

(Eliminate the human infection. Laughable. Arum cannot even eliminate the way they have infected him.)

He will be dead in two weeks, anyway. Better not to commit to anything he knows he will never have the chance to fulfill.

Smaller contracts. Easier projects. Symbiotic combinations of shrubs and vines meant to grow into easy, natural fences, sturdy living walls. Hybrid bug-plants to be used as motion-detecting alarms. Blooms with sleep-inducing pollen. A new subspecies of macrachnid with a silk that happens to be the perfect tensile strength for a delicate, near-invisible bowstring-

The ache in his chest is constant. It pulses when he draws his claws through the silk, when he imagines-

Best not to imagine anything.

The silk will serve just as well as tripwire, anyway.

He works to keep his mind occupied, to exhaust himself past thought, to wrap up loose ends. When he is finished wearing himself out, he curls up with a cup of serrated palm tea (the ache again - he stuffs it down) and he speaks with the Keep. He listens. He thinks- he knows he has been a rotten Lord, belligerent and stubborn and intermittently cruel, despite himself, and-

It deserves better than the worst of him, for whatever time he has left.

It worries, buzzing through the boughs and eaves, but he only smiles as honestly as he is able, and asks for a new song. Something he has not heard, yet.

Arum does not need anything, anyone, besides his Keep, anyway. It was only ever foolishness to pretend otherwise.

(Amaryllis' laugh. The way she spoons the honey into their tea, and then takes one last little spoonful for herself, eyes slipping shut as she tastes the gold. Her absent humming.)

He does not care one way or another, for the lack of their company.

(Damien's gentle smile, his pleading eyes, his narrow, clever fingers and the way he draws them over his pieces on the board before he makes his move. His sleep-fluted voice shaping around Arum's name.)

It was only ever a distraction. Only moments between his last duel and his next. A distraction.

It does not matter, and their absence does not hurt.

~

Arum dreams-

Best to forget, really.

~

Arum breaks, just once, and the Keep (ridiculous thing) almost sounds relieved as it pulls the portal open for him to slink hurriedly through. The darkness cloaks him as he approaches, he does not even make enough noise to startle the fox hunting beneath him as he slithers through the trees.

Amaryllis' hut sits precisely as he last saw it, an island of mellow illumination in the jungle night, and he barely noses his face out of the bushes before he sees-

Amaryllis' door hangs open, and Arum's stomach clenches with dread before he sees the silhouettes sitting on the step, haloed by the hearth and the lanterns back inside. His eyes adjust, after a moment, enough to see them better.

One of Damien's arms wraps around Amaryllis' shoulder, her head tipped sideways, her nose tucked against his jaw as her body heaves with something like a sigh, and Arum can just barely see the edge of a wry little smile on the poet's lips.

Damien- murmurs something, Arum can hear only the edges of it, and Amaryllis shakes her head against him, very lightly.

"-my fault," she says, her voice rising and - Arum blinks, startled - on the tremulous edge of tears. "You were right and if I just knew how to leave well enough alone, he would-"

Another murmur from Damien, still too quiet to parse, and Arum- Arum resists the urge to creep closer. Too risky, too high a chance of them spotting the movement or the shine of his eyes.

"But it was," she insists, shifting away enough that she can look towards Damien, though she doesn't dislodge his arm from around her shoulder. "I forgot. I forgot that we were all still pretending that we don't- pretending that you're going to kill each other. I forgot that I'm not allowed to let him know that I want him here-"

Her voice cracks off like a branch breaking, a brittle noise, and Damien's face twists in sympathy as he pulls her close against his side again.

Damien murmurs, Arum's teeth clenching with the foolish desire for the poet to raise his damn voice, he just wants to hear-

"Fine," Amaryllis says, anger sharp above that layer of sorrow. "Fine. It's his fault then."

A vague tutting, still too quiet though Arum can hear the tone of gentle chastising, and Amaryllis scowls hard.

"He's deluded, I don't know why he won't just- just-"

Another quiet interjection. Arum bares his teeth, relents just a breath, slinks a foot or two closer, carefully low.

"I didn't- it's just so stupid, he can help me wash our dishes and play board games with you and snark about my research and spend night after night with us but the second I bring up the future like it's- like it's possible it scares him off? It's just so- I'm sorry, Damien, I shouldn't have-"

"You didn't do anything wrong. The way we want him isn't wrong," Damien says, calm and firm and steady, and Arum twitches-

And snaps a branch.

They stiffen on the step, both of their faces lifting in his direction, expressions obscured somewhat by the light pouring out the door behind them, and Arum- they can't possibly see him, can they? They can't- too much foliage around him, too much gloom for their limited eyes, they can't-

Damien shifts on the step, slowly standing.

"Arum?" he says, his voice gentle and hopeful.

Arum remains perfectly still. He focuses on stillness as a concept. Anything to keep from thinking about their voices, their faces, the strange sorrow of their embrace.

Damien glances towards Amaryllis as she stands as well, and they communicate something silently before- Damien takes the steps down, moving towards Arum, and he-

Panics, of course. This was- idiotic from the start. He should have known better than to come back- should have known better than to follow Amaryllis here in the first place. His claws slip and scratch against the muddy ground, the leaf litter, his cape catching and snapping more branches in his wake as he flees through the underbrush, and in his backwards scramble he watches Damien startle, watches Amaryllis jolt forward as if to give chase.

"Arum!" she calls, and Arum does not know if she truly saw him or if she is only hoping, but-

He does not falter, does not stop, bolts straight back towards his portal home. This was nonsense, anyway. This was weakness. The next time he sees Sir Damien-

The will duel, and one of them (he knows) will die, and it will be the end of all this absurdity.

It will be the end.

[↣]

#elle's fanfic #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #lord arum #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #the keep #still need your teeth around my organs