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faunusrights · 3 years

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Citrus Summers (GWS AU)

just had this idea nip into my head... i really wanna do more with menagerie and the scarlatina fam but for now have this lil snapshot of velvet growing up :)

great weiss shark au, weiss's pronouns are she/her, velvet's pronouns are she/they

###

"So, what was your hometown like?"

Velvet's used to Weiss's interest in her life; they come from two radically different ends of some bonkers spectrum of lifestyles, where one end (Velvet's) is radical self-acceptance, anti-cop sentiment, and a Scroll full to bursting with communist memes, whilst the other end (Weiss's) is... well, to be honest, Velvet doesn't like to think about what that end entails, exactly. All she knows is that it was exactly what a young shark Faunus without any clue as to her heritage didn't need. So, Velvet entertains her with stories of growing up in the deserts of Menagerie, of her time running along the trash-strewn beaches of Kuo Kuana, of her years shooting up like a weed under the relentless freckling kisses of the bright and vibrant sun.

Sometimes Velvet can tell she can't quite wrap her head around how different their lives are, yet have somehow ended up on such an intersection as to be able to call each other friends. Velvet just goes with the flow about it all.

"Well, we didn't have a hometown, really," Velvet starts, attention half-drawn to sets of plans scattered about her desk in her dorm. She's got big plans to improve Anesidora's projector and fix the information compression problems; drawing a flat 2D image into a 3D projection has always been a sticking point, but she's nearly got it down to the extent that her wireframe tests very nearly reveal the dents and dings and imperfections that it'd previously ironed out by mistake. Accuracy is key, and she crawls ever closer to a perfect 1-to-1 copy each and every day. It's just really boring work, is all. "We lived outside of the nearest town by a couple of miles, but we went there pretty regularly, so I guess you could call it that."

Weiss hums, letting herself fall back onto Velvet's unmade bed, the handwoven blankets of orange and black brought straight over from the homeland and still gritty with red dirt to prove it. "What's it called?"

"Desert Sands. Very original, I know."

"You know a lot of the people there?"

"Shit, they trade us meat and gas for potatoes and carrots and tomatoes, not to mention almost everyone there immigrated in a group with my grandparents. I know that town like my own family."

"What's your favourite thing there?"

That pulls Velvet up short, and she worries at her bottom lip as she stares as a variety of absolutely godawful equations. Thank the maidens Weiss has given her something meaty to say, because she can't bear the idea of redoing all this horrible maths. "Uh, probably the inn, as everyone else who lives there would say. Can't go wrong with a good old fashioned pint and a few rounds of pool."

"Even as a kid?" Weiss says, and Velvet can hear the raised brow even though she can't quite see it.

"Even as a kid," Velvet agrees. "My mam had a couple of pints and my da flirted with the guys and I'd go out with my siblings to meet our friends and raise a little hell. Not very often, but often enough."

Weiss goes sort of quiet, in a way that Velvet recognises as an intensive processing of what she's just heard. She wonders, briefly, if Weiss can even imagine that sort of freedom after a childhood spent locked in the same old rooms of the same old house--even when it's as big as the Schnee manor--and then pushes that thought away. If Weiss wants to ever get into all that, it'll be in her own time.

"Describe it to me?" Weiss asks in a very little voice after a few seconds, and Velvet nods. She can do that. She remembers those halcyon days like they were yesterday.

###

"Trench, I swear, if you don't repaint those window sills I'm gonna sneak down here and do it myself, asshole."

This was about as typical an entry as Taffeta Scarlatina could ever make, shouldering open the dark wood door into the Desert Sands Inn with a grin on her face and children in tow, Ash bringing up the rear and trying to pretend he couldn't see everyone turn in their seats to look to the new arrivals. It was one of those establishments with a big boxy interior and just a handful of rooms to the side, where the only three doors led into the toilets and the kitchens and the stairwell to the rooms above, and much like everything else on Menagerie, nothing ever matched; the doors had been collected from a variety of sources, the floorboards uneven and scratched and recut, the paint on the walls patchy with mismatched shades and covered with picture frames in some last-ditch attempt to hide it. No two stools matched, no three tables carved by the same hand, but that was the price of the community effort--everything you ever needed, maybe just not in the way you always expected.

"Taffeta," Trench greeted from behind the bar, turning to fetch a pair of glasses without prompting whilst making sure not to jostle the hanging bottles overhead with his great buffalo horns, split like a strange middle parting on the top of his head. "You're welcome to it, to be frank; Cinna doesn't have a clue where she's put the paint, last we saw it."

Taffeta rolled her eyes, letting go of Velvet's hand to pat her between her ears instead, the ten year old quick to laugh and duck away. "I'm sure. Not at all like I said I have some lying around the last three times I was here. You really that scared of scraping all that flaking paint off?"

"Well," Trench said after a moment, leaning under the bar for a second. "I did get some in my eyes last time, and boy, that hurted. You want your usual?"

"Pint of porter for me, and something weak for my pretty boy, lest he forget which way is up," Taffeta agreed, shooting a wink Ash's way and cackling when he blushed. "And some juice boxes for the kids?"

Trench didn't even pause, turning about to fish out a variety of colourful cartons adorned with a collection of cartoon characters, and Taffeta lifted Velvet up to plop her onto one of the few cushioned stools, Chiffon quick to use her older, longer limbs to scramble her own way up. Trench offered the drinks out freely, letting them decide between orange and passionfruit flavours, before noticing the new addition on Ash's hip. "Oh? This the newest Scarlatina?"

Satin--hardly a year old--was clinging to her da's loose shirt, dark eyes looking about in wonder, and Taffeta smiled before reaching over to brush her loose, light hair out of her eyeline. "Sure is. Gettin' real big already, so we thought it was high time to meet the folks around here. She won't be the last, though." At that, Taffeta leant across the bar, dropping her voice low. "Would you believe me if I said Ash is already askin' for the next one?"

"Slander," Ash shot back, face still pink. "I just said four is a rounder number than three."

Trench made a face, glancing pointedly away. "My girl woulda mounted my horns on the wall for that one. We had just the one and she swore off the rest before I could even consider it. Count yourself lucky."

"Cinnamon's a good kid," Ash offered, rearranging Satin to sit a little nicer in his lap. "I think that all worked out in the end."

Taffeta rolled her eyes, watching as Velvet picked the orange juice for herself, leaving the eldest to the passionfruit. "Doesn't that imply we have so many 'cause you don't think just one was good enough? Chiff's a darling, if a bit of a pain in my ass, huh, baby?"

Chiffon ignored them both to instead help Velvet punch the straw into the carton, and Ash grinned. "Just one was perfect, but you told me yourself that you don't think I know when to fold."

"You don't," Trench interjected, pouring out a pint of something dark and bitter enough to linger on the tongue. "When we played poker last year... phew. Thank the maidens it was a couple's night, else you woulda been walking home absolutely stark--"

"--drunk," Taffeta quickly interrupted, glancing towards the kids who stared back with wide eyes. "Been walking home absolutely stark... trashed. Wasted. Uh, Trench, what's on the menu today, whilst it's on my mind?"

As they discussed the menu (Taffeta eager to point out the contributions of the family crops, asking, overly sweetly, and who traded you those lovely chickens? they must have been very generous), Chiffon turned to Ash in her seat, legs swinging freely, bumping into the overly-varnished wood of the bar. "Da? Can me 'n Velv go out and play?"

"Sure can, kiddo," Ash said, though he was quick to grab Chiffon's arm before she could throw herself off the stool with the straw still in her mouth. "Woah, take that out first before you end up swallowing it. You remember the rules?"

Chiffon nodded, face cast all seriously. "Don't go outta town. Be back before dark. If someone tries to bully us, punch 'em in the nose."

"And?" Ash added, drawing his brows together.

Velvet chirped up. "Cops aren't friends!"

At that, Ash broke out into a grin, as bright as Velvet's and twice as toothy. "That's right. You go have fun, and don't eat too many snacks; we're having dinner here before we go home."

Chiffon slid free of her stool, turning about to help Velvet down too, and then the pair scampered towards the door with a harmonised yes da! before pulling it open to the main road outside, the sunlight blisteringly bright, the sky an endless, cloudless blue overhead. The paint on the windowsill peeled off and flecked away, and under their shoes, the ground crunched.

Everything tasted of oranges.

###

Weiss sits silently.

"Did you get back before dark?"

Velvet snorts, sitting back in her chair until it creaks dangerously below. "Just about, though my mam didn't look all that impressed. Still, can't do much about it; we didn't even have, like, landline calls back then, let alone Scrolls and shit."

Weiss laughs to herself, rolling over and tucking her legs up onto Velvet's bed until she's curled atop the blankets, running a thumb over the wool quietly, repetitively. Truth is, they still smell of Menagerie, of home; Velvet could wash it a thousand times, but the earthy scent of hot summers and prickling scrublands sticks like its own aura.

"I'm jealous," Weiss says simply, and then she draws the blankets up to partly cocoon herself, tight across the ribs, loose about the ankles. "Will I... would you show me it, sometime? If I went there?"

It's sweet. Velvet wishes she could travel through time and show it to Weiss from the start; she wishes she could have told her what she would have, in the future. Look, see? This is real. You can have this too. Happiness doesn't only exist for people far away; you get to feel this, too.

"Of course," Velvet says with a smile, instead. "Bold if you to think my parents don't demand they meet every single last one of my friends."

Weiss grins back, all shark-toothed and sharp, and Velvet likes how it looks on her face. It took her team months to eek it out of her more often than every couple of weeks, but now, it's practically daily. "I'm afraid the offer doesn't extend back to you."

"Thanks the maidens," Velvet says, very seriously. "Because if I ever meet your dad, I'm setting his car alight."

#rwby #weiss schnee #velvet scarlatina #gws au #great weiss shark #its one of those tags #my writing #just a lil thing #(taffeta paints the windows as payment for the beer)

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jeremys-blogs · 4 years

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The Owl House: Season One Overview

When Owl House first crept onto my radar, back when the first teaser trailer came out, I admittedly didn't think much of it. I thought it had a neat aesthetic and I was confident it would have its appeal, but at the time I just felt that it was one of those shows I might watch once or twice, like, but then not think about again. Then new information started coming my way, most notably that Alex Hirsch, the creator of my all-time favourite Disney show was going to be one of the voices. Now that definitely caught my interest, even more so when I started seeing other notable names attached to the project, like the always-awesome Wendie Malick. So I decided then and there that this was starting to shape up as something special, and that I was going to keep a close eye on it. And I'm definitely glad I did, because the Owl House has proven itself to be a true gem of a cartoon, with characters, animation and stories that haven't engaged and enthralled me this much since the days of Gravity Falls, and that's saying something. With its first season over, and having thoroughly impressed me in doing so, I decided it might be worth me saying just how well this show has fared thus far.

Now, the story of a youth who goes to a magical world and overcomes dangers and adventure is by no means a new idea in fiction. Heck, Disney themselves did that exact premise not so long before Owl House, with Amphibia. But I've always been of the belief that just because an idea is old doesn't meant it can't still be good if you do something interesting with it. Maybe put a new spin on it or explore the idea in ways others haven't. Does Owl House do this? Yes, I'd say it does. We've all heard of magical worlds, but probably not one made from the corpse of an ancient titan. We've all seen stories of witches, but likely not an entire race of them who do magic in the way these ones do. We've seen schools of magic, but again it isn't probably not the kind we see here, if only because of how casual everyone is about danger. There's lots of things here in the Owl House that has been done before, but interesting twists coupled with bizarre and unfamiliar character and background designs certainly help to make it stand out. In fact, I'd call this the least conventional conventional fantasy story ever put out there, if that actually makes any sense. Probably not, but hey, it's the best way I can think to describe it.

Characters are, as always, the biggest draw of any show for me, and luckily the Owl House has a plethora of great ones to offer me. Luz is a fine central heroine and immediately endeared herself to me in her first appearance with her wide-eyed enthusiasm and boundless love for both life in general and the fantastic in particular. However, what I loved about her introduction is that they made it clear that she has a lot of learning to do before her story is finished. She may be the typical oddball who doesn't fit in with her world, but the show doesn't shy away from the fact that she was a disruptive and often dangerous influence back there, particularly to the other kids. And in the episodes following that we see her make mistakes that get others in a lot of bad situations. Normally this would put me off a character pretty quickly, but the show remedies this well by not only having Luz be a very caring and well-meaning person, but also showing her be willing to do whatever it takes to make up for the errors she makes. And that, coupled with her general energy and optimism, makes her a very likeable main character for the show.

Eda and King, voiced by the aforementioned Wendie Malick and Alex Hirsch respectively, also do a great job of impressing me as characters. Firstly, we have Eda, an "outcast and proud of it" type of mentor with a rebellious streak that dwarfs even that which Luz herself had back in the human world. Now, having a mentor who's on the bad side of the law isn't new, but Malick brings a really fun energy to this character, with her snark being easily one of the most entertaining things about the show overall. But she gives her greater depth beyond just being a sarcastic mentor, as Eda is shown to be someone with her own struggles, her own pains, that draw you in and fascinate you in a way you might never have expected from her time in just that first episode. King likewise proves to be a character with many layers to him. Introduced as a demon who has fallen from power and constantly trying to regain that position, he often proves to be a great source of comedy, but also shows himself as capable of warming up to Luz and others and being genuinely caring towards them. These two have both proved to be great otherworldly characters, and ideal companions for Luz during her time in the Boiling Isles.

And like any truly great ensemble piece, Owl House provides plenty of other wonderful characters to enjoy over the course of the show. Hootly, the titular Owl House himself, is a truly entertaining comic relief character, and Hirsch, who voices him as well as King, clearly has a lot of fun in bringing just general random comedy into the mix. Luz's friends at school, Willow and Gus, are as endearing as her, proving supportive and just generally likeable kids that it's always a pleasure to see, with Willow in particular having some real standout moments in the show. And then we have Amity Blight, and here's a character who really does showcase a lot of what makes this story wonderful. Someone who appears as one thing, in this case a quintessential school bully character, and then gets revealed to have far more to her than we might have ever expected. And her growing close relationship to Luz has shown to be one of the most interesting things about the Owl House thus far, at least to me. I could probably write a whole essay on that relationship, and trust me, I have plans to, but for now just know that she, along with the rest of the recurring cast, have shown themselves to be a real delight to watch.

The stories in this show, in a similar vein to Gravity Falls, follow a sort of quasi-serialized format. There will definitely be hints of something larger and ominous building up in the background, with reference and mentions of things happening that we never get to see, but for the most part the show largely seems content to have episodic stories. But there will be interconnectedness there too, as some episodes will come about as a direct result of things established in prior episodes, such as Willow's past friendship to Amity, or Eda trying to get Luz enrolled at Hexside. And I've always had a fondness for that kind of storytelling. Sure, fully serialized stories that tell big, sweeping epics are all well and good, but smaller and more self-contained outings have always just appealed to me more, especially since it always seems that Owl House has character interactions be at the forefront of its priorities. I could honestly just watch an episode of three or more of these recurring characters just hanging out and talking to each other and be completely satisfied with it. But of course, there's the big end-of-season arc, and without spoiling things it definitely upped the seriousness, drama and stakes of the show. There had been risk and danger before, but that finale absolutely took it to eleven, which was fine for me, given how the rest of the show had been.

The Owl House, like any genuinely great show, has a number of themes and big ideas it wants to explore, and above all there seems to be the recurring idea of the individual vs society. Who a person is and what they want to do vs the needs of everyone and needing to be more like the rest of the group. And what strikes me as interesting about this show's take on it is that it doesn't seem to want to demonize one side or another. Throughout the story we're shown both the ups and downs of both sides, and Luz herself even states in the episode "Covention" that she wants to make up her own mind rather than simply blindly follow Eda's stance on individualism as the true right way, which is a nice change of pace for shows like this. The coven system, for instance, restricts all but specific types of magic in those who join, yet by refusing to join Eda has been driven to outcast status, often struggling to get the things she needs, like her elixir. Luz is a free spirit who is drawn to Eda's wildcard mentoring, yet also has a desire to learn from the structured style of Hexside. Granted, the finale does put the society side in a far more negative light, but the show did try a more nuanced approach to the argument than I was expecting, which I really do admire about it.

Overall, I'd say the Owl House is off to a fantastic start. Is it good enough to usurp Gravity Falls as my personal favourite Disney show? Well, it's still a bit early to make that decision, as well as a bit unfair. The show isn't finished yet, so it's entirely possible that the second season might not live up to the standard set by the first. But, as far as that first season goes, I'd say I'm pretty hopeful about it. The characters, the world, the stories it's given me have been hugely engaging so far, and as long as the people making it stick to those things that made this show good in their second year, I have every confidence that they can make it just as good, if not better. It's a fantasy show that does a lot to veer away from what a lot of other stories in that genre typically try to do. It's characters are layered and grow with every passing episode, and by the time this season was over I was even tempted to call some of this cast among the best characters any Disney property has ever shown me, which is some pretty high praise. A first impressions go, the Owl House has definitely done a fine job, and I thoroughly look forward to seeing what Dana Terrace and the rest of the crew do when it eventually returns to us 🥰

#essay #writing #disney #the owl house #my stuff #luz noceda #eda the owl lady #review

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jagaimogoshujinsama · 7 years

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rambling about shin men and hyu/kan. its long and self indulgent but if ur curious where my brains been at recently here it is

ive been in an out of a couple fandom interests recently, im still following new shin chan episodes closely (and i’ll get back to subbing some eps probably, at some point)...

anyway the past couple weeks i got, weirdly, super into hyu and kan as a ship. even though theres not a TON of content to work off, and also theyre ostensibly a het ship which can turn me off (and did at first, when i first realized kan is a ~secret girl~, in fact i have my reaction in writing

but then i gave shin men more of a chance and rly grew to appreciate all of the characters and.. the thing as a concept, and BOY!! i love kan a lot, like a heck of a lot. and since shes a girl who deliberately takes on a lot of masculine attributes its very easy to read her as genderqueer or transmasculine or even a trans dude straight up - though as a demi...gender?? person myself i like reading her as Soft Transmasc, because projecting onto cute little cartoon ppl is my favorite thing to do

so one of my main questions when i encountered this series was: who came up with this and why? what IS shin-men? this post will be me trying to explain it to myself:

shin-men was a concurrently-running anime AND manga series created in 2010 to celebrate the 20th year anniversary of shin-chan. the anime is obviously more well known, but the manga chapters tell the stories quite a bit differently and provide some more backstory - i own the first two volumes with the third on the way. the anime is awesome because it was seemingly spearheaded by Masaaki Yuasa (the kaiba dude), and as soon as I saw the first episode i assumed Shin-Men was his brainchild from start to finish. i’m not sure EXACTLY how much was his creation, conceptually speaking, but it is true that he finalized designs and a lot of basic concepts for the characters. (parabon is straight up hyo hyo!)

(from masaaki yuasa’s super huge sketchbook, which runs in the 40-50 dollar range. let me know if you find it cheaper anywhere ill accept a used copy with heavy spaghetti stains)

yuasa boarded the first five episodes of shin-men, and a subsequent 8 episodes were released with different boarders (primarily yuji mutou, who’s been a heavy hitter on shin-chan since 1998). yuasa’s 5 episodes are beautiful - i mean look at this

yuasa always brings an otherworldly, dreamlike quality to whatever story he’s telling. on shin chan he generally seemed to prefer fun AUs and outlandish stories about buriburi zaemon that would allow him to invent colorful new settings and costumes.

that’s what’s so refreshing about shin-men - it’s the first time the show completely abandons its core cast of characters and focuses on NEW ones, in a universe with different rules. except, just kidding, because shinnosuke is still the main character, he’s just red now and called gou. so even while shin-men is TECHNICALLY breaking the fundamental rule of shin-chan - that shin is the main character who is in every single episode no matter what - it’s still abiding by it, and it still feels like shin-chan. that’s not criticism, though - i like the various alt-universe appearances of shin-chan characters in the shin-men universe. my favorite is matsuzaka, who is called “matsuzakaroni”, is STILL a kindergarten teacher even in this very alien universe (and despite the fact that she, i think, hates it?), and most uncannily of all, gets hit on by gou?? also gou is an adult i think, in this universe’s rules, he’s just really short like all of the other shin-men who are also adults?? i mean, i THINK? why does nobody in universe ever seem to mention how tiny these apparent grown-ups ar

anyway i’m not an expert on shin-men. despite my efforts i don’t really understand exactly where it came from or where gou’s ears are

i hope some day someone will create really good english subs of it, though i realize that’ll be a serious effort since yuasa’s episodes ABOUND with onscreen text - fuck, just imagine editing the moving gossip clouds on botswanawana to have english text. how would you even do that.

but i do wanna talk about kan a little and why shes cool thats the topic of this post

kan akaluislar (thats her last name..) is one of the 5 shin-men, superheroes with elemental powers who all look like a 5 year old named shinnosuke nohara from another universe, but don’t think too much about that. kan’s the only one who doesn’t actually have a superpower - she’s the Iron Man of the group, like, literally she’s tony stark, she’s the super wealthy and successful president of a major automobile company and rules the school in her home country, Detahoit. (which is maybe a pun on detroit? i’m not sure what’s up with that name)

anyway in addition to being iron man she’s also Transformers and Fullmetal Alchemist, she’s all three of those guys. she turns into a car a lot and transports her teammates everywhere. she also OWNS a car and drives it around when she’s not being a secret car superhero. is that bitterly tragic, or does kan secretly PREFER to be the car? is that her darkest fantasy? to be a full time car instead of a car-driving ceo? that is my headcanon

kan guards the fact that she’s female from the group, convinced they’d treat her differently. specifically, she’s convinced gou and nyoki would hit on her (confirmed), sui would bitch her out for not having a proper skin care regimen (that’s sui’s big thing, by the way, is that he’s a bitchy youtube beauty vlogger), and - worst of all - hyu would kick her out, since girls can’t fight.

...which seems like a pessimistic view of hyu. hyu is the wind elemental in the group - he’s buff and a little dopey but kind hearted and sweet, the noble hero type. also a bit of a spoiled prince.

each member of shin-men gets a yuasa episode dedicated to them, and hyu’s episode - his main arc, really - centers on his love for kan, which he keeps secret, despite the powerful curiosity of his country’s gossipy citizens.

what interests me is the disparate ways the anime and manga handle this plot thread. the anime treats hyu’s crush very earnestly, maintaining an undercurrent of quiet affection from him that appears in the majority of its episodes. the manga, however, emphasizes kan’s disinterest in romantic advances from both gou AND hyu, then practically drops the topic of hyu’s crush. it doesn’t exactly defy or contradict the relationship they have in the anime, however -- but it makes me sad, because hyu’s crush on kan is extremely cute and endearing. (as a sidenote, gou’s thing for kan is also pretty cute, but it only exists in the manga, and, well - it’s not really a /romantic/ crush.

the shin-men manga makes a lot of different choices to the anime, and since the two were released concurrently i have no idea which “version” of any one story was the “original” - and in some cases i’m sure there isn’t an “original” version of a story, just two different ones. sometimes i really prefer the anime’s decisions (not drawing eyelashes on kan) and other times i’m... not sure what to think (the manga chapter with pimawari does NOT focus on kan, so did the anime decide to highlight kan’s relationship with pimawari because... kan’s a girl?? did they really do that? am i over thinking this?)

the manga does a GREAT job of fleshing out kan, though, even though it does so by torturing her, endlessly. she gets trapped inside of a washing machine. then has to use up all her fuel exploding out of the washing machine. the good news is, kan can repair washing machines, we learn this in episode 5 of the anime.

but be it manga OR anime, kan and hyu frequently wind up as partners who work well together, and its understandable. kan and hyu have private lives that mirror each other, both of them being high-profile and wealthy, pressured (kan by her conniving older sisters, hyu by his palace’s grand chamberlain) to settle down when neither of them is particularly interested, both preferring the life of a superhero. their private lives seem lonely and neither of them has any friends outside of shin-men. but within shin-men they team up frequently, and (being natural leaders) the two of them tend to take charge and stand out as The Responsible Ones.

(pointing = leadership)

this is what sells me on them as a couple - that they have this core of collaboration and mutual care in their superhero lives, which could build into a supportive friendship in their personal lives.

i very much love that hyu has a crush on kan despite thinking kan is a guy. that angle never comes up in the anime, though its lightly touched in the manga - and yuasa explicitly addresses it in his earliest notes. to quote,

“kan (iron shinnosuke) is the only girl within shin-men. since only men can be shin-men, she wears an iron suit to conceal the fact that she's female from everyone. and since she doesn't have a superpower, she relies on the power of her suit. hyu (wind shinnosuke) secretly likes kan but keeps thinking things like "could it be that i actually swing that way.." (lol). eventually, he's the only one who knows about her true self, but hides it from everyone so it won't be known.”

so, kan’s expectation of how hyu would react, having a sexist freakout and banning her from battle? apparently not representative of reality. which is good news because, even if kan doesnt want a love connection, she DESPERATELY needs a friend whom she doesnt feel the need to hide her private life from.

and at th end of the day thats what makes me happy: the idea that hyu can be this friend to kan, and they just chill out together, smoke a bong, get their truant son gou to cook them some curry, consolidate oil and wind technology to make both of their countries more sustainable and energy efficient, kiss etc.

im so curious if vol3 of the manga will give me any further insight.. i doubt it but im excited anyway

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yingqilin · 7 years

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Where Do I Even Begin?

Well, first of all, I’ve LOVED LOVED LOVED Qilin ALMOST as much as I loved Unicorns, and Dragon. I say ALMOST because I first saw a unicorn on TV when I was 4 years old in the EARLY 1980s! But, I’d never even heard of a so-called “Chinese Unicorn” since about the mid-late 1980s when I saw a children’s magazine called “Cricket” which had a WHOLE SPREAD about UNICORNS, including the Chinese & Japanese versions.

(I don’t believe this was the actual cover. I can’t remember what year the Cricket Magazine issue was, just that it was in the 1980s. This issue was cited in many books written about Unicorns as well, following its syndication. It had a full on spread including many kinds of unicorns from many cultures... if I recall correctly, there might even have been an French Unicorn story as well.)

When I was a little kid, I actually didn’t like to read (which was an issue by the late 1900s, and even the government would talk about it, the trouble was they’d demonized comic books in the 1960s-1970s, which resulted in that problem, because even tho’ “correlation doesn’t equal causation” they didn’t know that and thought that the act of reading comics made you into a criminal. My experience was the exact opposite, because I read super hero comics a lot and was more interested in THAT than things like doing hard drugs, vandalism, and shoplifting which was rampant in NJ where I grew up.) So, by the late 1980s-early 1990s children were encouraged to read, read, read. Well, I liked pictures, and I LOVED: unicorns, dragons, and dinosaurs, ANYTHING FANTASY, but also Sci-Fi. (I also loved Marvel Comics/X-MEN, and Disney Adventures Magazine, and nearly all the Jeffrey Katzenberg hit Disney Films)

So, whenever it was something of interest to me, I would read a lot, and I had stacks of books, which I also used to practice learning art, and I was self taught. (I have A.D.D.)

I graduated in May 2001 from the Art Institute of Philadelphia (Majored in Computer Animation AKA CAM). And, by the GW Bush Era, I had already been active online since 1994, and had been blogging, and using many various art websites.

By late 2001, and most of the early 2000s (2001-2007) I spent months and even years sketching and drawing Qilin, interacting in the Furry/Anthro Fandom, and published a lot of my works to GeoCites/Yahoo, and had even created my own message boards, and so on. I even had one called “Qilin Savanna” Altho’ much of these sites are gone, my original works still remain on DeviantArt in my gallery HERE. (I also LIVED IN CHINA many times in the GWB Era often.)

Since that time I’d also written a lot of things, multiple times over, about my research into Qilin (which are not all unicorns, just some).

If you were to type in “qilin cartoon” into Google you can actually see the many many photo images that come up since the time I’d first started publishing my work ONLINE, FOR FREE, you can actually see how my works have influenced people. Back then, there was a MAJOR mix-up with the term, because MOST information available in ENGLISH regarding CHINESE EVERYTHING was often inaccurate, used the dead Wade-Giles Chinese language, or were often confused with JAPANESE. Another issue was that I actually could speak standard Mandarin Chinese, but many people wrote the Cantonese names, or FREQUENTLY confused them with Japanese name for the exact same character (AKA kanji, AKA Hanzi), which is “kirin” in Japanese. Also, the majority of NON-Chinese speaking persons don’t know how to pronounce Mandarin pinyin. (Example: Can you pronounce?: chi, qi, shi, xi, zhi, zi, qu, chu, er, ri, ren, si, ran, yu, you, bo, po, zhou, zhu, cao, zui - Most Non-Chinese speakers CANNOT pronounce these correctly at all. “Chi” sounds like “Tcher” and “Qi” sounds like “Tchee”, “Shi” sounds like “scher” and “xi” sounds like “schee”. There are also variations on pronunciation.)

But, I still stuck to the facts. my father-in-law in China,The late Wang Zimin, actually had special access to a restricted library, and wrote letters to me about Qilin, and the 4 major Chinese magical deities: Qilin, Long/Dragon, Fenghuang/Phoenix, Bixi/Dragon-Heard Tortoise.

Back then, mostly you needed to search “kirin” especially because M. Peña called her artwork “Kirin” but still also called them “Chinese Unicorns”. Her gorgeous sculpture works were sold everywhere for years, nation wide, from the boardwalk to Spencer Gifts, to Flea Markets, and Christmas season mall kiosks.

But, as you scroll through all the works produced since that time, not only the ones titled or tagged as "kirin” but over time “Qilin” starts to replace this as more and more people growing up actually start to study Chinese, especially artists and customers, and many of these young artists are either my fans or students, but fans or students of my students... after a while, people forgot who I was... but my work BECAME PART OF THE CULTURE.

You can SEE that many people emulated my poses, my styles of doing hair, and many other details. Over the years, a number of my fans, and friends would send me private messages FREAKING OUT that either someone stole my work, stile my style, or ripped me off...

That’s actually NOT TRUE. No one ripped me off. THOSE ARE MY STUDENTS.

You guys ASKED ME things like: How do you draw _____? so I made countless cheat-sheet style tutorials (because paid classes don’t ACTUALLY TEACH). Also, if someone wants to learn, (like myself) they try to draw from WHAT THEY LOVE. That means ME. MY ARTWORK. How else will they learn if they don’t copy, ask questions, etc.?

I have many many open source materials in my DeviantART gallery (which are STILL MY MOST POPULAR WORKS OF ALL TIME despite the hours of work I’ve produced artistically.) I have also licensed much of my line art works FOR FREE for people to practice coloring with wither digitally, or to print them out and color with real media like markers, color pencils, pastels, or whatever because people kept asking me.

Actually, I would like to credit a number of artists whom are my biggest influences as well:

Susan Dawe

Glen Keane

Alan Davis

Those are my biggest ones, but I also loved artworks by Burne Hogarth, Auguste Rodin, Edward Degas (I especially love his ROUGH sketch work), Frank Frazzetta, Boris Vallejo & Julie Belle, Fred Moore, Vladimir “Bill” Tytla, AND the film The Last Unicorn was especially the #1 thing that got me actually DRAWING when I was 4 years old.

SO much of my work, especially ANYTHING with unicorns, has been tattooed onto people bodies. Many people personally asked my permission, but I honestly DO NOT MIND. I have found over the years more examples of my artwork tattooed onto people than I can count. It’s LOVE.

However, I’ve also many many times been the victim of theft FOR REAL. Many people have tried to rob my sketchbooks, and many companies have illegally robbed my artwork online. It was the cause of MUCH online fights, wars, and battles. There’s also impersonators: People pretending to be ME, or claiming THEY did my work: also the cause of much much online fights and flame wars.

-Then, of course, there’s LOTS & LOTS of kids online that “rob” my work for RPGs, and fan pages... Honestly, I’m NOT going after children, or fans, for harmless things like that... I’m NOT Metallica.

So, where am I going with THIS?

Well, for one, there’s both ART and PHILOSOPHY which are BOTH a MAJOR part of my life.

I had a number of setbacks, delays, and many other strings of very unfortunate events in my life. Needless to say, I was very depressed. However, I did find myself back in college, first for Philosophy, and then for Art, especially Video... which somehow saw me thrust forward into Animation HEAD-FIRST. Suffice it to say, I’ve worked through, blew threw, and past, all of my blocks, and have been doing animation again. (lots more long stories, but not writing them here)

Many many times, you can’t always reach, yet, what you want. Other times, other persons, or groups want to change you, or make you something else.... and not you. But, it kills you inside...

At some point, you need STOP listening to everyone, and everything else, ESPECIALLY if that’s not FLOWING in the direction are are INSIDE.

I’d already WANTED to produce at least 2 series/films of my own. (”Eyewitness” and “Zenith Beyond The Dragon’s Rue”) Well, THIS is a branch off that tree. This stems from my concepts for “Eyewitness” but sort-of... I had ALWAYS wanted to produce my own small animated shorts, especially with music, like the old 20th Century animated works such as “Silly Symphonies”, “Merry Melodies”, and even Disney's “Fantasia”, but also a number of influences from Far East Asia including PR China, and Japan.

I’ve been multiple times inspired by Socrates, Plato, Laozi, Bruce Lee (Li Xiaolong), and many fusion artists/dancers on the American West Coat including my teachers: Zoe Jakes, and Alyssum Pole, as well as Rachel Brice, Carolena Nericcio, Jamlila & Suhaila Salimpour, but also Matahari, and Kerli Kõiv. People that think differently, question things, or create their own ideas, or even fusion artists.

Well, this project has been on my mind since at least 2001.

In fact, my actual name (Ming Zi) in Chinese is: 任思麒 (Ren SiQi)

It literally means: Duty/Task [to] Think/Contemplate/Dream of Qi[lin]!

Also, as an artist, there are a number of things I believe in, whereas other things I’ve shed like a snake molting its skin. I’m a fusion artist, an eclectic artist, but I still firmly believe in art fundamentals like life drawing, practicing one’s skills, and I use bot digital and real media. I LOVE TO DRAW. I firmly believe in Quality OVER Quantity, yet, in some instances I also think too much detail is overdo, and somethings look better less refined. I like realism, stylization, cartoons, and beautiful things.

I want to create content that is LESS about “being a big success” or ego driven ideas of “stardom”, and lavish money making, but more about THE LOVE OF IT.

I do NOT want to be part of any establishment groups, crowds, clubs, or institutions, and DON’T want to be mainstream, NOR corporate. I have found all of those things to be negative and destructive to my life and therefore regret pursuing those avenues. I’m NOT interested in walking those paths, nor dunking helplessly into those turbulent or stagnant flows, but RATHER Flow my own way, because I have my OWN PATHS. I don’t need to buy their metaphorical light bulbs, because I have my own light that I can shine inside of me.

And, if I am being completely frank & honest, another MAJOR influence on me WAY BEFORE HE WAS EVEN POPULAR was Bernie Sanders. I am a Berner. Sanders actually GAVE OF HIS HEART & HIS TIME FOR FREE. He crowd funded for what he believed in with SMALL MONEY because he was against BIG MONEY.

I have no care for being in exclusive film festivals or galleries. People whom already LOVE my work find their way to it. People HAVE found value in my efforts and work.

Therefore, I wish to begin producing this animated short. It is not cheap tho’. But, I will gladly share my process, my concept work, my practice work, and everything FOR FREE. Free to ALL ARTISTS, and people whom just live beautiful things, art, and QILIN.

I wish to pursue an independent direction in my art. But, I would very much like to include people, if not the world or those in it that care about these things, to interact with me. A long time ago I’d created my “Qilin Savanna” site to interact with people whom also loved Qilin, Unicorns, Dragons, and other things, but also a love for art, or learning art.

This year (2017) while interacting with MANY MANY young people, and young artists, I often found that people WANTED to learn to DRAW, to improve their techniques and practice them, but despite having paid money to attend art classed (including “drawing classes”) they did not actually get what they paid for, did not actually get instruction for what they wanted to learn, but either had to fend for themselves, try independently, or got resources online for free... so, why then were they paying for it?

I have many many times, spent just a short moment with frustrated peers, students, classmates, friends, and fellow artists whom couldn’t draw what they wanted to, and teased me for being some kind of special person... when in fact, whatever I do, others can too. I sat with them, explained, and demonstrated (AKA Using The Feynman Technique) and after that moment of AHA THEY COULD DO IT. And, they didn’t need to come back.

I did THAT FOR FREE.

I did THAT FOR LOVE.

And, NO, I DON’T HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE. Honestly, at this point, I don’t feel I actually want one. I DON’T want to be a part of that club, nor establishment either. In this way, I’m somewhat like Socrates, Diogenes, or Bruce Lee... only NOT. I’m ME.

I have a lot more to say, but I think I will leave it here for now.

#qilin #kirin #Kylie #Chinese unicorn #animation #cartoon #drawing #art #Kandice Zimbleman #Black UniGryphon #BlackUniGryphon

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projectquhere · 7 years

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Updates: Research and Meetings

I attended two events critical to the development of my project over this week. Read them below the break.

Firstly, I went to an event called “Queering the Virtual Experience: Challenging Heteronormativity in Virtual Spaces”, in which Neill Chua, a queer designer and graduate from the graduate program of my major described his process when designing his thesis. He built a virtual reality voguing simulator using Unity that is playable using an oculus rift and a keyboard. My biggest takeaway was the quotes and definitions Chua used to inform his design.

When discussing what makes a space “queer”, Chua pulled from the theories of Aaron Betsky, who wrote Queer Space: Architecture and Same-Sex Desire. In his work, he writes “by its very nature, queer space is something that not built, only implied, and usually invisible. Queer spaces do not confidently establish a clear, ordered space for itself... it is altogether more ambivalent, open, self-critical... and ephemeral” (bolded for emphasis). Additionally, Chua described the ideas of Lauren Berlant and Michael Warner, whose work Sex in Public surrounds the concept of challenging heteronormativity.The goal of their research is to “describe... radical aspirations of queer culture building: not just a safe zone but queer sex, but the changed possibilities of identity, intelligibility, publics, culture, and sex that appear when the heterosexual couple is no longer the referent or the privileged example of sexual culture” (bolded for emphasis). The former quote justifies the creation of a “queer” safe space - a space is queer because it is implied to be queer. This allows gay bars, gyms, clubs, and safe spaces to exist - they’re not necessarily “designed” to be gay, nor are the objects and structures that build those spaces particularly gay by nature. The inhabitants, use of, and energy of that space makes it gay. Those who exist in the space (and outside of the space) agree to the queerness of it. To me, this explains why many gay people sometimes get frustrated when parties of straight people enter a gay bar (especially if the straight people are rude or feel entitled to special treatment). While straight people can enter gay bars, there in a social contract implied upon entering that the inhabitants of the bar will respect the safety, autonomy, and expression of non-heterosexual, non-heteronormative concepts. Groups of heteronormative people, or especially cisgender people who feel entitled to special treatment or to gaze the “spectacle of the gays” destabilize the queerness invisibly imbued into the space. Because of this, I am more confident expressing that the safe spaces I create are meant for queer people. Many people have asked “what makes a VR space gay - can’t everyone just benefit from using your idea?”, and my response has been that it’s not necessarily a gay space, but a regular space made by and for gay people that I’m requesting that non-queer people don’t use. With Betsky’s definition in mind, I am more confident saying “It is gay because it is implied to be gay, just like most gay spaces are - by creating this space as someone who is queer, and designing it with the needs of various differently-queer people in mind, I’m implying that it is queer - and even though the quality is invisible, it deserves to be treated with respect and autonomy from non-queer people and its queer inhabitants alike.” The second quote explores the multitude of possibilities when society does not privilege heteronormativity, and it helps me understand how to frame my idea if asked how it is “child-friendly”. Yes, sexuality and gender are concepts that are linked to sex - but there are so many structures in the world that are also influenced by gender and sexuality, including identity as a whole, culture, public spaces and behavior, and forms of communication, social interaction, and even education. I would argue that queer needs for safety differ than heteronormative needs for safety - I could point to statistics about hate crimes as an example, but preliminary responses of a survey I created about safety show differences in the responses of straight/cis and non-straight and/or non-cis people [link to data analysis when I am comfortable with the number of responses]. If we privilege the heteronormative needs for safety and heteronormative safe spaces (or architecture and design in general that privilege heteronormative lifestyles and structures), we lose the ability to better understand a wide range of ways of living, and we lose the ability to meet the basic human needs of safety and security for queer populations.

Secondly, I met with a professor on the floor in which my program is hosted who has experience developing games for VR within Unity. I showed him this blog (with models and theory), and I told him what I was struggling with the most (technical skills for VR in Unity). He gave great advice regarding achieving my goals with my limited technical skills within the short timeframe of the rest of the semester.

To be specific, my original concept would involve moving objects accessible through an inventory around a scene to create a virtual space that created a sense of safety. I’ve been trying to tone down the scope and to pull from designers who consider a small space and limited interactions - experiences like Daily Life VR: Poop (only interaction is gaze and touch-based cartoon poop generation), Love Boat (a scene in which a user rides a love boat through a visual retelling of the creation of a cult), and Draw Me Close (an experience using both VR characters and “reactive actors” to give physical sensation to VR experiences - like being hugged or tucked into bed). So the concept I brought to this professor was a bit smaller scale - it would be a premade room, but with the ability to access an inventory to add onto it.

He gave the advice of using a tile-based system. I lit up because that’s perfect for what my project’s needs are. My prototype will be developed toward my needs/desires for safety, so I am 3D modeling totems that represent safety for me, but creating a premade room with specific tiles in which a specific, small range of items can go still allows users to be creative and have ownership over their space, but it avoids certain issues with rendering diegetic UI, file size, object manipulation at runtime, object manipulation in VR with a first person camera. It also limits the scope in a constructive way.

I will be posting a new model tomorrow, and I have a meeting with another professor with VR development experience to work on some technical skills to bring my vision to life.

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clarahue · 7 years

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What TV has meant to me:

I grew up not too rich, but defiantly not poor. I had box of a TV, and a few VHS’s. When I was I younger TV wasn’t a big thing for me. Sure I woke up early in the morning to watch kids cartoon, and my sister and I hated it when my mother forced us to stop watching TV on a lazy summer’s day. But I had never been invested into TV. Well that was all about to change the summer before I went off to high school.

This is what TV has meant of me (Under the cut cause it’s long, some spoilers):

Special thanks to one of my sister’s numerous ex-boyfriends, I have long since forgotten your name by now, but thanks. It was the summer of 2012, I had just graduated grade eight and was going to high school in the fall. The Avengers movie had just come out, and my local blockbuster had just been shut down (something I had been rather upset about). I had started going to the library near my house to get movies almost once a week. I had fallen in love with the Avengers movie, I had not seen any Marvel movies before and so I had begun to watch those all the Marvel movies. I learned everything I could about the Marvel characters. My family had just gotten Netflix and I began watching all of the Marvel cartoons on Netflix. My obsession for Marvel and comic books had just began. My sister’s boyfriend at the time had transferred some movies and TV shows onto a USB for us to watch. He had put a number of Marvel movies on there for me. He had wanted my sister to watch Doctor Who, so that was on the USB as well, along with the show Once Upon a Time.

I guess I’ll start with a quick rundown of Doctor Who, as Once Upon a Time had a much bigger impact on my life. It had took me a little while to get into Doctor Who as at first glance It didn’t seem like a show I would like. After watching a few episodes I began to fall in love with it. I binged watched from the beginning of the reboot right up to Clara’s arrival in a matter of days. I enjoyed Doctor Who, in all of its silliness, even kick-starting my own friend’s obsession of Doctor Who. Doctor Who has, of course, become something I look forward to and I will often rewatch old episodes. There have been countless times that I have spent hours discussing Doctor Who with my friends.

Oh Once Upon a Time (OUAT), I hate you, but if someone were to ask me if I could have never have watched OUAT, would I have done so, I would tell them never in a million years. As much as I hate the show now, it had a huge impact on my life, sometimes I think that’s sad, but honestly when I look at where I am now I could care less if it was this silly show that got me here. OUAT was everything the little girl in me had ever loved. It was pure fantasy, what my whole childhood had revolved around. I had the funny experience of accidently watching the premier of the second season first. But after I realized my mistake I was hooked instantly. I quickly picked my favourite characters, hating others. I loved the small stories the show told and how it twisted the fairy tales we knew so well. It was like they had a new twist around every corner. I don’t think that I have never freaked out more in my whole entire life as I did when I realised that Rumpelstiltskin was the beast from Beauty and the Beast. Because of the show I was rereading every fairy tale story out there. I had begun rewatching old Disney movies with my sister, ones that I had never watched before or hadn’t seen in a long time. My sister and I had never been particularly into Disney, but suddenly we were becoming children again, dreaming of going to Disney world. By this time I was going off to high school. I had taken an art class, and our final project was to put our artwork up online, my teacher had showed Tumblr and we all make a blog for our art. I asked my sister how to use the site, as being five years older than me she had been on Tumblr for a few years now. She showed me how I could follow blogs of shows that I liked, and quickly I was following every OUAT blog out there. That was how I was introduced to the world of being a fan. As I was learning how to navigate Tumblr, I was learning about ships, canons, OTP’s, and fan theories. I had even began reading fanfics, falling in love with the amazing fan art, and watching fan made videos on YouTube. I quickly began wanting to make my own stuff to honour the show I loved so dearly. I bought the DVD’s for each season of OUAT, which would be the first show my family would own on DVD. I rewatched almost every episode multiple times, I knew everything there was to know about the show. I had even kept a small book hidden underneath my couch cushions, so when I watched the episode I could write down stuff from the episodes. So maybe I had fallen fast and hard into this world, but I guess I was trying to distract myself for my life.

I went few a few rough things in my life, my parents even split up. I have always been an awkward sort of soul, who has never been particularly good at talking to people. Grade 10 rolled around and I was introduced to the people who would soon become my best friends. At first I felt awkward around them, though they were friendly and welcoming. Suddenly one day we realized that we watched a lot of the same shows. My new friends all watched both Doctor Who and OUAT. That pretty much jump started our friendship. Every Monday (the day after which OUAT aired) I looked forward to talking about the show with my friends. I loved hearing their theories about shows, as I had never been one to theorize about a show before. But soon enough I joined in on their fun. I loved talking about shows with them, I had never in my life talked this in depth about a show. It was strange but I was quite enjoying it, I was realising that I liked shows and I had a passion for them. It was around this time that my sister went to her fist Comic-con of sorts, it was a small convention, but she brought me back my first ever comic book, I was ecstatic. Though I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle all those people I began wanting to go to my own comic-con, I wanted to dress up, and see all the fascination costumes. Most of all I wanted to meet the cast of OUAT, I dreamed of going over to Vancouver were the show is filmed. By then end of grade 10 my friends had thrown a small party where we all dressed up to watch the season three finale of OUAT.

Let me just say that this was the first time I felt comfortable around a group of friends. For the first time I felt I could be my crazy self, I finally felt like I was accepted for who I was. I had found something I loved and a group of friends who were totally awesome. It’s weird to think how we became friends through TV shows, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. My friends love to write. I had loved writing as a child, and like most kids had sometimes dreamed of being a writer. They had told me that they had written a few fanfics. Having a few stories already rolling around in my head, I figured if my friends had written fanfictions that it shouldn’t be too scary to write my own fanfiction. And so I did, telling no one I knew, for I was rather embarrassed. Writing fanfictions has become rather fun for, even though I still get really scared about posting my stories online. I enjoy writing, and I hope that I’ve gotten better over the years. I love reading other people’s stories and I especially love seeing people’s fanart, wishing I was that good.

I’ll quickly mention a few other shows that I watch. Of course having been obsessed about Marvel I was really excited to watch Marvel’s Agents of Shield and have watched the show since it first aired, I consider Agents of Shield to be one of my favourite shows. I watched Merlin, No Ordinary Family, Smallville, Leverage (another favourite), Sherlock, and Firefly. I have been watching Murdoch Mysteries since I was younger and I love the show, but honestly I’m surprised it’s lasted this long. My sister and I started watching Arrow when I was in grade nine or ten. The Flash was always on before AOS so I would catch the last few minutes, and eventually I decided to watch it as well. Halfway through the first season of Supergirl I had decided to start watching the show, and I figured I might as well start watching Legends of Tomorrow since I was watching all of the other DC shows. One of my friends had convinced me to watch The 100 sometime before season 2 had aired. I watched both Agent Carter and Galavant and was sad to see both shows cancelled. I have also began watching iZombie (has become a favourite) and Stranger Things.

Maybe I should give some background to my life, before going into the next phase of my stories. I have grown up in a Christian home, and like I have said, we didn’t watch a lot of TV. My sister was always chill about things, and I, in turn, was chill about things too. LGBTQ characters didn’t grace my screens very much. Sure there was the odd episode of Murdoch Mysteries. I think Jack from Doctor Who (and Torchwood, but I watched like two episodes) was my first introduction to a gay character. Of course Doctor Who has had a few more LGBTQ characters since. My sister watched Glee and sometimes I would watch the odd episode with her. I fell in love when Nyssa kissed Sara on Arrow and shipped them a lot. I had just started watching The 100 and I was still very much in my little bubble. I thought Lexa was pretty cool, she was badass and I thought she was very attractive. Suddenly she seemed to be staring at Clarke a little too long. I had seen those glances before, from the likes of OUAT. Glances between Emma and Regina, but I knew that was never going to happen. So I didn’t think much of this either. Lexa briefly mentioned a past female lover and I cheered internally. She and Clark held a flame together, and she asked Clarke to drink with her, and I was all “Nothing is going to come of this”. And then they kissed, and I freaked out a little. I had been right, those glances were a little bit more. I had predicted this! I was ecstatic, and I totally shipped them. By this time my friend and I had started our own OUAT blog on Tumblr. I got a little into The 100 fandom (not really though). And then suddenly it happened, Lexa died. I can’t quite remember if I already knew about Lexa’s death before hand or not. But Lexa’s on screen death didn’t affect me much, though I was kind of sad to see the character go. I soon began to see the back lash the show had caused. I had never even heard of the ‘bury you’re gays’ Trope before. But suddenly I was reading about all of the LGBTQ characters that were killed off onscreen. That reality didn’t sit well with me, and I agreed with those who began to push for a change. I too began to hope things would change.

So this past year high school ended and University began. Most of my friends had stopped watching OUAT, but I was still watching, mainly because I had committed most of my life to that show. OUAT was going downhill though (sorry those who still like the show) and watching the show almost became a chore to me. Soon enough I stopped watching and even got rid of my OUAT blog. I was pretty bummed out about the fact that I had stopped OUAT. I had committed my whole life to it. What show was now going to become my life? I was confused about life in general too. In truth I was begging to question my sexuality. I had been questioning my sexuality since high school had begun, though I didn’t think much of it as I was rather distracted with life. My sister had come out to me as bisexual when I was in grade eleven, the fact hardly fazed me. Going to University had been rather stressful for me, as I had been very scared. I waited patiently for my shows to return, to cheer me back up. Legends of Tomorrows came back for its second season with Sara as bisexual as ever, and it made me smile. I joked with my friend that Sara was my life goals, she was kick butt and she didn’t give a crap about anything (well most of the time) she was pretty chill, and not to mention kind of attractive.

Season one of Supergirl, for whatever reason hadn’t been my favourite (I’m sorry) but I had enjoyed it enough and had decided to keep watching it. I was begging to really enjoy season two, a lot more then season one. And then Maggie Sawyer walked into the scene with a smirk on her face. She seemed pretty cool, and then suddenly she was saying how she was a lesbian and I was in love with the character. Was Alex getting a little flustered around her, or was that just me? Just me probably. Well then Maggie went and held Alex’s hand, and Alex looked down at their hands. And that zoom in on Alex’s face after Maggie walked away with her girlfriend. That defiantly wasn’t me, was it? Please tell me it wasn’t just me. I hadn’t been too into the DC TV show universe, though I watched all of the shows. But suddenly I was willing to throw myself into it. After reading that the creators had intended to make one of their characters on their shows come out, it was clear to me that this was defiantly going to be Alex’s storyline. Alex coughed up her feelings about Maggie and I was smiling and cheering. It was beautiful. I was looking back on my life remembering how I had been questioning my own sexual identity was for a while now. I, like Alex was begging to remember those little moments. Every Tuesday morning (The day after Supergirl airs) I woke up early super excited to watch a new episode of Supergirl. I couldn’t wait to see more of Alex’s storyline. Could it be that I had found a new show to dedicate my life too? Well unfortunately the show quickly fell into flaws. I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I had, I was even missing the aspects from season one. I seriously hope the show fixes itself up, for I do love the show, and do still look forward to it. I mainly focus on the Sanvers moments though.

Not soon after I had moved into University did I start watching a lot of LGBTQ shows and movies (ps: I loved D.E.B.S). I’m the type of person who can’t handle anything too graphic and likes a happy ending. I watched Netflix’s One Day at a Time, Carmilla, Faking it, Black Mirror’s episode San Junipero, and have just finished Wynonna Earp. TV shows and movies like these have given me characters that I connect with and love to see their journey. These TV shows have helped me realize who I am. Watching these TV shows I hoped that one day I could be strong and confident like the characters on the shows.

I have no clue of who I am or what I’m doing with my life. I’m just a shy girl (not very attractive) who likes plants, animals, little kid cartoons, superheroes, and basically anything positive to do with LGBTQ+ stuff. TV shows are meant to be an escape from our reality, they are meant to be a way of opening up our imagination. I am forever in owe of the creativity put into movies and TV shows. Over the years I have come to appreciate those who are truly dedicated to a fandom, and I think those people are pretty awesome. To me TV shows have always been something special. To me TV shows have been about finding who I am. Through TV shows I found some of my best friends. Through those friends I have learned to be more of myself, and I know that they will accept me no matter what. Through TV I have allowed myself to figure out who I truly am. TV reminds me that there are others like me out there, and that it’s okay to be who I am. Many shows are about people struggling to find their place in the world, and well isn’t that everyone. Sure there have been multiple times shows have let me down and I have learned that it’s okay to just give up on a show. Sometimes life is hard, but I tell myself “I have to see what happens next week on my shows”. It seems kind of horrible, but sometimes a TV show is all I need to keep myself going. I think creators realizes how much their viewers throw themselves into a show. I hope that they will be careful with shows in the future and will make them more inclusive. When I look upon how Supergirl season two started or Doctor Who’s introduction of new companion Bill, I smile to think about the world that we are living in today. I can’t wait for our future. So here’s to all the crazies, to all those who are way too obsessed with a show. I ask all of you, what have the TV shows you’ve watched meant to you?

PS: if you have anything you want to ask me I don’t mind answering :)

#tv shows #personal #about me #ouat #supergirl #lgbtq #once upon a time #sanvers #the 100 #doctor who #agents of sheild

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lovemesomesurveys · 7 years

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1. First of all, what do you prefer to be called? Stephanie or Steph is fine. 2. What is your favorite form of creative expression? Blogging and these surveys. 3. How do you like your coffee OR if you don’t like it, why?: With flavored creamer or with Half and Half and Splenda. 4. What is the least desirable thing, in your opinion, to put on a pizza that you have heard of people actually eating?: I’m a simple gal, I just like extra cheese and extra sauce. I don’t like mushrooms, anchovies, onions or all that other crap. Also, I don’t get the whole pineapple thing. Sorry not sorry. 5. Would you rather witness the beginning or the end of the universe?: I’d like to not see the end since that would mean the end of everything/everyone. Seeing the beginning would be remarkable.

6. Describe your favourite pair of socks: I just like my black ankle socks.

7. What is the current or last song you are listening/listened to, and does it have any special significance to you?: I don’t remember the last song I listened to at the moment. I don’t feel like checking, either. 8. Do you prefer rainbows or stars?: Stars. 9. Describe the best day of your life NOT in terms of events, but in terms of your feelings: Feeling in love and that having that special connection with someone. 10. Would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?: Neither. 11. Do you know the reason that 11:11 is considered to be auspicious?: Nope. 12. What decorations are hanging on your walls?: I have a few pictures, a marker board, a bulletin board, clock, and a big Swedish flag. 13. What is your favourite planet in our solar system?: Earth. 14. How do you express love?: By being supportive, encouraging, loving, caring, helping when I can, and by just saying it. 15. Do you consider yourself to be more spiritual or scientific?: Spiritual. 16. If you had a lava lamp, what color would you want it to be?: I haven’t. 17. Would you rather be able to revisit your past to simply re-experience a positive moment or revisit your past in order to change things and risk the consequences?: I’d like to change things, but then yeah I’d be afraid of the consequences of doing so. It could make things better or it could make things worse. It could take away some of the good things that have happened. I just keep thinking if I had done some things differently, then maybe I wouldn’t have some of the issues I have now. And I have regrets about other things. But sigh I don’t know. 18. Have you ever had a past-life regression or memory?: No. 19. What is your favourite holiday and why?: Christmas. I just love everything about it. 20. Are you better with remembering dates or names?: Names, but I’m good with some dates, too. Like if they’re significant to me, such as birthdays. 21. What was your favourite book that you had to read for a class?: I enjoyed A Brave New World. 22. What is your favourite number and why is it significant to you?: Eight. It’s been my favorite number since I was a kid. Anyone remember those School House Rock cartoons? They had songs to help kids learn math and other subjects. Anyway, I really liked the song for eight. I also thought it was fun to make and that it was cool how it was an infinity sign when turned on its side.

23. Would you rather explore space or the ocean?: Neitherrrr. Both sound terrifying. 24. What prompted you to call the last person you called?: I was calling my mom back. 25. Star Trek or Star Wars?: Star Wars. 26. Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?: Harry Potter. 27. What is your favourite band and why?: I have lots of favourites, because I can’t choose just one. <<<< Same. 28. What colour best resonates with your best friend(s)?: -- 29. Where do you work and why do you work there?: I don’t work.

30. Have you ever gone to a public karaoke facility, and what did you sing?: I’ve been to bars where they had karaoke night, but I sure as hell didn’t get up there and sing. Not even drunk could I do that. 31. What animal do you feel most connected with?: I felt most connected with my dog. She passed away this past December. :( :( :( 32. Have you ever had “special brownies” or any other kind of “special” treat?: Not brownies, but I’ve had special taffy and cookies. 33. What book are you reading at the moment?: He Found Me by Whitney Barbetti. 34. What is the funniest thing that you have done at a fast food restaurant? I haven’t done anything funny at a fast food restaurant. 35. Do you enjoy listening to music that is sung in another language?: Some, sure. 36. Quote the last movie you watched: "This is my money maker. *gestures to face* I’m not that good of an actor, I know that.” Ashton Kutcher’s character, Hank, in Cheaper by the Dozen. 37. Do you know more than just your sun sign (like your ascending sign or moon sign etc.)?: Nah. 38. Do you have any jewelery on you that holds significance, and if so, what is it and why is it significant?: I don’t have jewelry on me. 39. What is your favorite kind of cheesecake?: Mmm. So many kinds. I love cheesecake. 40. Why did you last feel warm and fuzzy inside?: I don’t remember the last time I felt that.

41. What band that no longer performs together do you wish would have a reunion tour?: Hmmm. 42. What band that IS still together do you wish would perform in your area?: Again I say, hmmm... 43. Have you ever been in a band, and what role did you play in it?: No. 44. What has been the single most frightening experience of your life?: All my surgeries. 45. Who is/was your favourite Spice Girl?: I didn’t have a particular favorite. 46. Do you prefer free verse or poetry set in a form?: Whichever. Just depends. 47. In a hotel, would you choose to go in the hot tub, the sauna, the workout room, or the pool?: None of those. I’ll just be chillin’ in the room. Lol when I stay in hotels I do the same things I do at home. I have my laptop, the TV, and a big bed. I’m good. 48. Imagine that you are exploring space. Who would you want with you and what would you want to explore, assuming you are not limited in any way?: I wouldn’t be exploring space because just the idea of it freaks me out. 49. Have you ever astral projected?: No. This YouTuber I watch says that he can, though. Sounds pretty trippy. 50. What is your favourite song by the group t.A.T.u?: Probably “All The Things She Said” because that’s the only other one I know besides “They’re Not Gonna Get Us”.<<< The only song I know by them is the first one listed, but I really liked it back in the day.

51. Describe what you envision as “paradise”: Something greater than we can even imagine. 52. What element do you feel most connected to?: I guess water. 53. What is a cause that you feel very strongly about and why?: Causes for animals is one example. They don’t have a voice, so they need us to speak up when they’re being mistreated. 54. What was your favourite class from the last year that you were in school?: This entertainment journalism class. My last semester was just a couple electives because I was 3 units away from graduating. I really enjoyed that class. I’ve always been interested in entertainment/celebrity/pop culture news stuff. 55. What is a topic that you study independently for your own interest?: Well, I’ve been reading and studying the Bible on my own to learn about God’s word and build my relationship with Him. 56. Describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another? *shrug* 57. What song do you want played at your funeral?: I don’t know. 58. Would you rather alphabetize or put things in order according to numbers?: Alphabetize. 59. What medication do you dislike the most?: I don’t particularly like any medication. It’s just something I gotta do. 60. Would you rather write a story or a poem?: Story. 61. Do you believe in non-physical entities, and if so have you ever communicated with one?: I believe in God. 62. What invention or discovery do you think that the scientific community should focus on?: I think they’re already focus on a lot of important priorities, like medical care, disease cure and treatment, etc. << Yeah. I work in medical research and I can tell you that we are extremely well funded.<<< That’s good to know.

63. If you could go anywhere, where would you go and why?: Sweden. 64. What skill do people often compliment you on?: I don’t know. I don’t have any skills.<< Saaame. 65. What are three facets of your personality or thinking patterns that you want to improve?: My anxious, pessimistic, negative self. 66. What is your favourite symbol?: $$$ <<< Hahah. 67. Name an unusual shortcut or file that’s on your desktop: There aren’t any. 68. What do you smell like right now?: I don’t know. Me. 69. You get to have a theme party of your choice, just for fun. What theme do you choose?: Hmmm. I’d have to think about that more, I’m not sure. 70. Have you ever been in the depths of a cave?: No. 71. How do you deal with the dark side of yourself?: Uhhh. 72. Name something that you can’t help but save: I hold onto a lot of things. 73. What is your addiction?: Coffee and Tumblr. 74. If you could wish something for three people, but not for yourself, who would the wishes be for and what would they be?: Health, happiness and money for everyone I love. << I like that. 75. Would you rather send a message in a bottle or on a balloon?: Balloon. 76. What did you dream last night?: I didn’t dream as far as I can recall. I haven’t in awhile. 77. What is one of your most frequent daydreams?: My mind always just wanders to whatever is going on and all the stuff I’m dealing with. 78. What is your favourite stuffed animal?: All my many giraffe stuffed animals. 79. If you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?: I really don’t know. 80. If you could bring anyone back to life, who would it be?: My grandma. 81. Are you affectionate?: I hug my mom a lot and tell her I love her.

82. Name one thing that each of your best friends is really good at: -- 83. What are you a perfectionist with?: I’m not a perfectionist. 84. Could you see yourself being able to carry on a long distance relationship?: I don’t know. 85. If you could be anything but human, including anything mythical, what would you be?: *shrug* 86. Have you ever meditated? If so, what is your method, and if not, what do you do to relax?: No. 87. What is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?: My mind. I can be so stubborn and make things complicated. I don’t understand myself, really.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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