#so far ive only seen it in fanfics

[the-voldsoy]

if i posted writing here would anyone read it

#im so lost on what people like on this site #so far the only long-form writing ive seen has been fanfics #and autistic people infodumping #so honestly im not sure #writing

[berriweb]

╰┈➤ ❝ the end of all things ❞

: ̗̀➛ ft. miles morales x reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings. some descriptions of injuries, just mentions of blood and someone dying

: ̗̀➛ part three / part five (w.i.p)

: ̗̀➛ a/n. how do I explain to y’all thay the reason this part took so long is because Ive been wasting away reading venom fanfics for days???? trick question, i just did

3:00 PM

The ticking of the clock on the way was the only thing keeping Miles grounded as he scribbled away on his paper.

Well…that, and you.

The lack of interest was prominent in his body language, hunched over the desk and peering at the paper through laugh lidded eyes with gravity tugging at the ends of his lips. The work only seemed to get easier and easier for him. The majority of class he would spend finding ways to buy time and entertain himself long enough to take up most of the lecture and class time spent working. If he timed it right, he’d avoid being seen as a try hard for turning in his paper too earlier or a slacker for waiting until the last minute to turn it in. During that time where he’d mindlessly find new tasks to keep his mind running is when his true distraction would come into play: you.

Or at least the one he knew anyway.

Thunk.

Pausing just as he’d finished shading in the eyes on his doodle, Miles sat up and looked around to find the object that’d collided with his forearm and drawn in his attention. When he noticed the culprit, a balled up piece of notebook paper now sitting idly next to his foot on the floor, he discreetly reached down to scoop it up and smoothed out the crumpled paper.

‘i can tell your mom redid your braids. they look good on you ;)’

Miles hoped he’d angled his head low enough to hide the dopey smile that crossed his face as he read the note, recomposing himself before he grabbed a pencil to scribble underneath the writing.

‘Gotta look fresh for our date, can’t be out here looking rough for you.’

He folded the paper up, using the straight edge of his folder to crease the paper before holding it up to examine the neatly folded paper airplane he’d created. After deeming his work good enough to send out, Miles turned back in his seat. His eyes scanned the classroom to check for wandering eyes or any sign of the teacher noticing his shenanigans, only to meet a familiar pair of eyes trained on him from across the room in the back, hidden away just far enough in the corner of the classroom.

He craned his arm back, and with a swift through sent the paper airplane flying in her direction, watching it gracefully float through the air before slowing to a stop just before it reached her desk. He winced for a moment, watching it slowly begin to descend towards the classmate sitting just in front of her, only for a sigh of relief to leave his lips when she stood and snatched it out of the air just before it landed on his desk, shooting him a confident smile and a thumbs up.

Miles turned back in his seat, leaning down to mimic his posture when working on his assignment, but his eyes pulled back to watching her open up the note, eyes scanning the paper before she gingerly smiled and looked up. Glancing from over his shoulders, he shot her a wink and flashed a smile only to turn away, returning to his paper before he could see your reaction to it.

Unbeknownst to him, from just afar on an empty desk that would’ve been preoccupied by a classmate who’d been absent that day, a small arachnid slowly climbed its way onto the top of the desk. It skittered across the smooth wood, the seemingly dead set path it was following towards Miles, as prominent as the 42 cleanly shown on its backside, being cut short when a portal open, small enough to swallow the spider whole without gaining much attention.

From the corner of his eye, Miles noticed a flash and turned his head in the direction of the distraction, only to shrug and return to his doodles when he saw nothing worth taking note of, missing the return of the spider as it reappeared moments later. Only this time, it dawned a new number. The spider turned and abandoned Miles, eyes now set on the target sitting in the corner of the classroom.

“42.”

The number indicating their initial success was the first thing that left the doctors mouth as the matter around the portal shriveled and disappeared.

In front of them sat two empty glass containers, sealed and displayed just underneath the machine. Using her middle and ring finger to push her glasses up the bridge of her nose, she leaned down to marvel at the sight of the small, hazardous spider now frantically crawling around from inside the tube. Beside it, the matching glass tube was now empty, a mark of a new beginning.

She shot up without warning, consequently smacking her partner right in the nose with an accidentally head butt she didn’t even seem to notice.

“Jesus, Liv- my nose-”

The scientists hands covered his nose while groaning and grounding himself to remain upright as Olivia practically pounced on him, a wicked grin stretching her lips thin as she grabbed him by the shoulders and began frantically shaking his body back and forth.

“Forget your nose! We’re making HISTORY! Inter dimensional transportation, Johnathan! This is huge!”

He shrugged her hands off her shoulders but that did little to subside her buzzing excitement, evident by the enthusiastic resolve in her eyes. “What about our spider, it took ages to recreate that thing!”

“Forget the spider too, we already have our replacement, no need to make a third-” Liz made a point of picking up the tube, waving it in his face and tilting it over to watch the arachnid slide across the side of it. Concern for her enthusiasm aside, Johnathan’s grin matched the fire in her eyes. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

3:15 PM

The bells rang and Miles was out of his seat before the sound could register in his ears, slipping out of the classroom and making a beeline for the lockers. Just when the familiar locker number was within sight, Y/N raced past him, making a point to stick out her tongue as a sign of mockery, only to come to a screeching halt as she turned back forward and was suddenly face to face with one of the school administrators.

Miles made sure to return the same favor, pulling at the sides of his mouth with his index fingers and sticking his tongue out after he passed her in the halls. If not for the teacher, she likely would’ve started a fight right then and there.

After a not-so-kind scolding and a promise of detention if she was caught running in the halls again, Y/N strolled up to where Miles stood, leaning against her locker with a hand on his side and a smug grin.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up-” “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Idle conversation ensued as he waited for her to gather her things from her locker. An arm snaked around her waist and his head rested on her shoulder, mid-complaint about his second period teacher being too harsh on the whole “no drawings on assignments” rule when she suddenly yelped, drawing her hand back from inside her locker. Miles’ eyes locked on the back of her hand as you winced, spotting the eight-eyed culprit and swatting it off her hand without a second thought. The bug hit the ground, and he raised a brow as he noticed the small markings on its back resembled numbers more than any bug patterns. 1610. “Weird.”

“You good?” He asked, grabbing her fingers to hold her hand up and once over the red bump rising on her skin.

“Yeah yeah- don’t hurt or anything,” she confirmed, inspecting the bite before twisting her hand around to intertwine their fingers, shutting her locker closed with the opposite and shrugging her bag over her shoulder. “Think it’ll get infected?”

“Yup, poison’s probably runnin’ through your veins as we speak.”

“Don’t play like that Miles,” she scolded, rolling her eyes as he merely shrugged in response before tugging her arm to usher her along as they headed to exit the building.

“I’m playing, chill, you’ll probably be fine.”

“No, it’s not fine!”

Miles buried his head further into the palms of his hands in an attempt to quell the embarrassment course through his body as he watched his mom practically shake down his girlfriend.

“You’re leaving already?! I even made your favorite! Te encantan las empanadillas! Can’t you stay just a little longer?!”

Between Rio almost begging for her to stay and Y/N rushing to shove everything back into her bag that she’d left scattered across his room, Miles didn’t know who to focus on more.

“I know I know, I’m really sorry Mrs.Morales, I promise I’ll swing by later for leftovers!” She flashed her an apologetic smile while slowly backing up towards the door, but it didn’t take much. “I can’t even remember the last time you stayed for dinner you’re always so busy, we miss you! Miles does too, don’t you papa? I hear him complaining about it all the time!”

“Ma!” He turned back to throw his hands up at her exposing him while moving to walk she out, and Rio shrugged.

“Be safe, honey! Streets have been a little dangerous ever since that new hero hit the scene. And we better see you again soon, at dinner!”

As soon as the front door closed Miles shot you an exasperated look and she giggled. “Your mom does a good job at saying what no one else will,” she teased, punching him in the arm as her voice echoed throughout the halls. “Please do not defend her.”

“I’m not, I’m not!” She raised her hands defensively, but the skeptical look on his face made it clear he didn’t believe her. Lowering her hands, she placed one on each of his shoulders. “Was she telling the truth, though?”

“You have been flaking out on all of our dates recently,” Miles pointed out as his arms wrapped around her waist. “Well- I mean, it hasn’t been that many…”

“Two weeks ago we were supposed to go to that fair together and you bailed.”

“Something came up-”

“That one time you stood me up at the new burger place on the corner?”

“I heard their food sucked anyway, blander than a white mans casserole.”

“Just the other day we were supposed to go to the park together and you showed up two hours late.”

“In my defense, there was traffic.”

“It’s New York, there’s always traffic! And you don’t drive! Did you even remember that we had plans to go to that museum today?”

Y/N froze, and the guilty look that crossed her face after the moment of realization made Miles regret bringing it up. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry Miles! I totally forgot, I swear I would’ve-”

“It’s fine, Y/N,” he tsked, cupping her face and running a thumb across her cheekbone. “You have a life, I get that, I don’t need to be in it 24/7.” She smiled in relief and turned her head to kiss his palm, but he continued.

“-but, something’s tellin’ me this is different. I barely even see you anymore aside from class, and you been skipping classes too! I don’t know what you got going on, ma, but you know you can tell me anything. Your head always feels like it’s somewhere else.” He poked at her forehead to make a point, his voice lighthearted but the undertone showing his real worries.

Miles could only say so much to voice his concern, but he meant every word of it. Feeling like she was keeping something big from him would’ve been a understatement.

“I promise you’re overthinking it,” Y/N pulled back, grabbing both of his hands. “I‘ve just had a lot going on, nothing that important. You know I’ve got it covered, have I ever let you down before?”

Miles smiled gingerly, despite the obvious signs that you were caught up in something, he was willing to put it aside for you. “You better not start.”

“Course not,” she leaned forward to catch his lips in a kiss that lasted longer than most of their normal goodbyes, and likely would’ve gone on longer if not for the sudden sound of someone clearing their throat making the two instantly jump and pull apart. The distance between the two suddenly doubled upon seeing Jefferson standing with his arms crossed, still dawning his police uniform and wearing a disgusted yet disapproving expression, mostly pointed at Miles.

“Dad!”

“Sir- Mister- Captain Morales! Crazy seeing you here-” Y/N fumbled over her words and tried to swallow the crippling embarrassment.

“I live here.”

“Right…” she looked between the two Morales’ for what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds before deciding to remove herself from the situation before she could embarrass herself any further. “I was actually just leaving-”

“Oh, yeah, uh huh-”

“And something came up and I uh- bye.”

She ran down the staircase before she could elaborate, leaving Miles standing their with slumped shoulders as he followed his dad back inside, left to endure a lecture on how ‘if you’re going to make out with your girl at least have the decency to not do out right outside of our house.’

“-and now she’s off doing whatever, so I don’t know man, thoughts?”

Tapping at the bar screwed into the wall, Miles mimicked the action with his other hand while reading one of the signs displayed on the elevator doors showing off one of many scientists honored in the museum. Despite the fact that Y/N had bailed on him, he still wanted to go out to at least get his mind off of things while he had a chance; and knowing that his best friend had nothing better to do, that turned into him replacing you and the two touring around the building while he vented to Ganke about his concerns.

The elevator dinged, and as the lit button signaling that they were on the tenth floor dimmed and the doors slid open, he felt a rough smack on the shoulder.

“I think that you’re a massive loser and only nerds go to science museums for fun,” he remarked, walking up to a portrait statue of some popular physicist and making a face at the odd expression.

Miles rolled his eyes and stepped out to follow him, narrowly avoiding bumping into a stranger before joining his side. “Yeah? And only nerds go to fancy ass boarding schools for smart kids so what does that make you?”

“We go to the same school, dipshit.”

“At least I know I’m a nerd, dumbass.”

Ganke forced a sarcastic laugh before pulling out his phone and tapping away, leaving Miles to read the next sign on his own. “On a real note, though, if you’re that worried about keeping something from you then you should just fess up and tell her to tell you.”

“Tried that, she just insisted she was busy and told me not to worry about it.”

“Yikes, man. If thats the case you might just be a side pie-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before Miles smacked him upside the back of his head, wincing and shooting the boy a glare. “Relax, I was joking!” “You think you’re funny?” “Hilarious, actually.”

Ganke looked up from his phone, “if you’re really that worried about her and she won’t tell you what’s up then you just gotta wait it out. Y/N’s a cool girl, she’s probably just not ready to tell you. Nothin’ you can do about that, just wait until she is.”

He stared for what was at least five seconds, causing Ganke to look up after noticing the small moment of silence and blink at Miles. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just didn’t think you were capable of giving good advice.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Miles shrugged, pulling out his own phone to take a picture of the goofy looking statue. He opened the messages to text you just as Ganke moved to take a selfie for it.

‘reminded me of you.’

*Photo Attachment*

Just as he sent the messages, Ganke turned around and hummed to get his attention just as his phone dinged and he viewed the notification, holding the screen up for Miles to see. It was a news reporter, warning the citizens while simultaneously covering live footage of a fight going down in the city.

“Crazy, right? Ever since Spider-Woman showed up it’s like villains have been popping up every day,” Ganke pointed out as he moved around to watch the scene unfold with him.

“Yeah, I don’t hear the end of it with my dad, keeps complaining about all of the damage they have to deal with…” he had to admit that the way the vigilante was fighting was impressive, seeing her use her webs to temporarily hold back the weird-dinosaur-hybrid being she was fighting. Even though it was clear the helicopter couldn’t get close enough to get a good view of the fight, Miles started to notice the buildings they passed looked awfully familiar.

From the camera they could see the villain tied up in webs, being tossed around like a sack of potatoes as it began to break from the confinements. Spider-Woman began running up the side of the building, dragging the reptile along with her, and just as she brought her arm back and started swinging the webbing was when it dawned on Miles. Judging by Ganke’s jaw being halfway to hell when he met his eyes, he’d realized it too.

“Isn’t that building the-”

Ganke didn’t get to finish his sentence before a loud boom followed by the sound of glass shattering filled the floor. People were screaming, he could already see the crowd rushing for all of the nearest exits and Miles could barely wrap his head around what had just happened before he was grabbed by the arm and Ganke was following in everyone else’s lead.

“We gotta go.”

The elevator was out of the question as no one was willing to risk ending up stuck if it got damaged during the fight, or end up falling to their death, but that was one of the worse options. They opted for the stairs instead, a lot more work but their only viable option. The security guards and officers who’d showed up at the scene were trying to direct traffic to get everyone out as quickly as possible, but with so many people all trying to flee at the same time it inevitably became difficult and caused a lot of shoving and commotion. They’d only made it done to the seventh floor by the time they ended up stopping, Miles pulling Ganke away from the crowd both because they would’ve just been trying to wiggle through everyone else and because his friend was clearly out of breath.

“Holy shit,” was the only thing he could get out between breathes, and Miles only nodded. “You good?”

Ganke sighed. “Absolutely not.”

“Good, let’s go.”

Miles was already dragging him towards the exit before Ganke could fully recover. Luckily for him, the floor had two separate staircases, meaning more got out faster than anticipated and they didn’t have to fight to get out. Unluckily for them, they were one of the last to head for the stairs, and just as they reached the stairway the ceiling above suddenly caved in.

Neither got crushed, but the force of the crash was enough to send them flying back. Miles fell back into one of the displays, not enough to seriously injure him but there was for sure going to be a bruise he’d worry about later.

On the other hand, when he looked over he noticed Ganke wasn’t as lucky. If he had to guess, based on the noticeable hole in the wall and the blood seeping from his best friends forehead as he lay limp on the ground, he’d knocked his head and gone unconscious. Scrambling to his feet before he even realized what he was doing, Miles ran over, bringing one of his arms over his shoulders and pulling him to his feet. He silently made a note to later remind Ganke how he owed him one for this as he dragged his friend towards the other staircase, thankfully still in tact.

The last of whatever visitors remained were heading down the stairs, the only ones left being a child who’d seemingly been separated from her parents and hurt her leg, crying and frantically asking for her mother. An officer was still left behind, likely looking out for any others and rushing to help the girl when realizing she was still present. He’d just picked up the girl when Miles’ eyes suddenly widened.

“Dad?!”

The sudden voice made him turn, and as the two made eye contact his dad mimicked Miles’ surprised expression.

“Miles?!”

“What are you doing here?!”

“It’s my job!”

‘He was the captain,’ Miles had to remind himself, ‘of course he’d be here to help the citizens.’ “Right…”

“Is he…” His father gestured to his back, and Miles remembered the friend he’d been lugging along with him, glancing to the side to see that Ganke was still out cold.

“He hit his head, he’s fine.” Miles brought a hand up to check his pulse and reconfirm that statement, letting out a sigh of relief when he felt his pulse and nodding at his dad, who nodded in confirmation.

Using his free hand that wasn’t holding the girl, his dad pointed towards the stairs. “Get to safety, and fast. There’s people waiting at the bottom to-”

Miles was started to get tired of the sounds of destruction cutting off every conversation, but this one held far more danger as the vigilante and villain responsible for the chaos came crashing down onto the floor, right between the distance that separated him and his father. He got a full sight of the Spider-Woman standing on top of the criminal, holding together two webs keeping either one of the man(?)’s hands at his sides.

“Don’t you ever get tired of getting your ass kicked?” That statement was short lived, as the villain flung his tail straight into her side, sending the masked woman flying and crashing into a nearby pillar.

“Don’t you ever get tired of getting in my way?” The being rose back to its feet, surely towering over any normal human being as it’s head would’ve hit the ceiling had it not been destroyed.

“Hmm…no, not really.”

The spider suddenly spit out a web that stuck itself to the lizards chest, pulling harshly and sending the thing crashing into a nearby wall. The hit was harsh, and almost made Miles wince, but he was far more preoccupied with the fact that their fight was blocking his path to the stairwell and his dad. With his friend on his back he wouldn’t stand a chance trying to run past, so he resorted to backing up to the nearest wall.

Spider-Woman had webbed the reptile to the wall, fast enough that it wasn’t able to recover fast enough to break free from the webs before she’d used enough to leave him completely stuck to the wall. Miles could only watch in awe as she stood tall, clapping her hands together as if dusting them off, but just before she could make a proud remark about bringing him down, what started off as a low rumble but turned into loud crashing started to sound.

“Oh shit,” Miles cursed before he could think as the ground beneath him began to shake. The sudden noise must’ve caught her attention, and as the masked woman turned to look at her Miles could’ve sworn the wide eyes sewn into the mask went even wider at the sight of him. Had she not noticed him before?

Before either could take action was when the floor caved in from underneath him. The destruction that the lizard (mostly) had caused practically ruined the foundation on some of the floors. Whatever was left to support the floors was giving way, that part was made clear by how his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Miles was no longer standing on a steady floor. He hardly had any time to grab onto a half destroyed rail before the side of the building started to collapse. He was able to lift himself enough to loop his elbow over the pole, keeping himself from immediately falling to his death, but that fate wasn’t completely out of the question yet.

His legs were hanging freely, and had it not been for the fact that his other arm holding onto Ganke’s waist for dear life to keep his friend from slipping out of his grip and falling to his death, he might’ve been able to pull himself up. His eyes were screwed shit and he muttered under his breathe, wondering that if he believed hard enough he might open his eyes and still be in the museum and not hanging off the side of the building, it could’ve all been a weirdly horrific daydream.

“No mires hacia abajo, no mires hacia abajo, no mires hacia abajo…”

The sudden gust of wind sent more shivers up his spine, and despite his constant reiterations, he hung his head and reluctantly opened his eyes. The sight of the ground being hundreds of feet below him made his stomach turn, but the call of his name gave him the much needed diversion and he looked up.

Just barely being able to see the floor he’d just been on, Miles saw the aforementioned Spider-Woman running towards him. How did she know my name?

The relief that would’ve crashed over him when realizing she was going to save him didn’t get to come, as instead his eyes zeroed in on his father, far behind the vigilante. The floor above was still coming down, the building was still collapsing and his dad was doing his best to avoid the falling rubble while protecting the girl clinging to his chest, but the drywall that’d fallen down just in front of the stairwell entrance prevented him from going down. The direness of the situation hit him like a brick, and Miles was sure the adrenaline was the only thing keeping him from throwing up due to the amount of stress boiling up in his head. As he watched his dad slowly getting backed into a corner by the debris, it finally started to click. There wasn’t enough time. She couldn’t save both. “No no no no no…”

It started off as a mutter, but his voice progressively got louder until he was all but shouting at the hero. “Stop!”

Surprisingly, she did, likely due to the suddenness of his random protest and the strain in his voice. “Stop! My dad! That’s my dad! Save him!”

Miles spoke without thinking, and it might’ve been selfish for him to silently admit that the child he was protecting hadn’t even crossed his mind as he worried, but it was true. The danger that his father was in caused far more concern than anything else he could’ve been worrying about at that very moment. Unbeknownst to him, you were having a far more conflicting dilemma in your head than he’d imagined.

Her chest was heavy and any words that she could’ve thought up never would’ve had a chance to leave her throat, she couldn’t muster up her voice. Her boyfriend was dangling over the edge of a building with a drop that would kill anyone immediately, made worse by the fact that he was also in control of his best friends life.

‘Miles needs me.’

Her head then whipped towards the police captain, holding the little girl who was likely no older than 10 to his chest, a hand over her head to protect her from the debris, most likely. The odds of him making it down with the floor crashing down on itself were zero to none, and Captain Morales was a good man. He was more than accepting when she’d come over, he deserved the title of Captain, he earned it.

‘But Miles needs his dad too.’

The tension was worsened and she was reminded of the lack of time she had to debate as the building shook again. A loud creak followed it, and when she turned her head again, as the rest of her body seemed to be frozen, the railing Miles was holding onto was bending further, and if she didn’t act fast it’d snap and send both him and Ganke free falling.

“Please!”

The sound of pleading combined with falling rubble and the cries of the child were starting to mix together in her head, forming a garbled, distorted mess that was worsening her stress.

The look on his face as he begged, she’d never seen it before. His eyes were so wide she could clearly see the white surrounding his pupils, eyebrows knitted together so tightly that the veins you’d never seen on his forehead were visible. The despair in his eyes made his pupils shrink in a way she couldn’t recognize, and the desperation made her heart ache. The expression didn’t look good on him.

“Save my dad, you have to save him!”

The building shook again, and as if being the final cue, the metal railing that had been resisting gravity finally gave in. Miles’ head disappeared over the edge, and before she could blink she was jumping over the side of the building to catch him.

The image that would remain engraved in Miles’ head for a long time to come passed as the pole finally broke, watching his dad duck and use his body to shield the girl as the rest of the building came down.

He couldn’t describe how he felt in that moment. Saying that he was afraid, that he was shocked or sad wouldn’t do the emotions that crossed him as he fell any justice. He couldn’t recall at one point he lost his grip on Ganke or when the thought crossed his mind that this might be the last thing he thinks before he dies.

He doesn’t remember when he felt the arm wrapping around his waist either, or what he felt when Spider-Woman pulled him into his side. He doesn’t know at one point she’d shot out a sticky web to catch Ganke and pull him in and over her shoulder.

Miles does remember the cool sensation of the wind hitting his skin as she shot out another web, managing to pull all three to hang off the steady side of the building before anyone could hit the ground. He remembers hearing the wind rushing past his ears when she carried them all up to the top floor, or what was left of it anyway. He remembers being set down on top of left over pieces of wall, ceiling and artifacts he could no longer remember. He remembers seeing you carefully set Ganke down by his side as Miles sat on his knees, hands being covered in gravel and dust as he leaned forward, trying to remember how to control his breathing, how to breath. He recalls seeing the vigilante rush over to what was now nothing but piles and piles of rubble, and at no point did he bother to question how she could lift what were clearly such heavy objects. He remembers the cry of joy she let out as the sound of a crying girl became prominent, pulling the child out of the mess only to see her freeze when she reached for something else.

And then he remembers seeing you.

Miles doesn’t know when he pulled himself to his feet or why he left Ganke’s side. Intuition, maybe? He’s running before he realizes it, and the closer he get, the harder it is for him to understand why it‘s his girlfriends face he sees when the hero pulls off her mask. He doesn’t understand why you look grief-struck, why you’re apologizing before he’s even stopped running or caught his breathe, or why you’re trying to explain how you couldn’t save his dad.

How you had to make a choice, there was nothing you could do, how you swore you could explain everything later.

Miles doesn’t understand because his gaze, his head, his mind is entirely focused on his father laying unmoving, half of his body trapped underneath a broken piece of debris, one he couldn’t dream of lifting up. Why is there so much blood?

“…dad?”

She stops talking when she realizes Miles’ isn’t listening. He repeats the questions, like he’s testing the waters, waiting for him to open his eyes and laugh at him for really believing he’d lost his life. But he doesn’t get a response. His hands start to shake, no, everything starts to shake. His vision blurs for a moment, and if not before, he’s certain now that there’s no air going in or out of his lungs. He starts to sway as if he’s going to lose his balance, and she scrambles to her feet, reaching out to grab him before he can, but he catches her by the wrist and steadies himself before she can help.

“Y/N?” He phrases the question as if he’d only just now noticed her presence. Her gaze softens, and she wants to comfort him, but the empty, paralyzing look in his eyes fades away when his gaze sharpens and his grip tightens. It doesn’t hurt, but part of her wonders if he meant for it to.

“I told you to save him…” That same choking feeling rises up her throat, but this time it doesn’t stop her from talking. “Miles…”

“I told you to save him! Why didn’t you save him?!”

“I- you and Ganke! I couldn’t let you fall! I couldn’t leave you two! There was no way-”

“There’s always a way!” Miles was never the type to get violent, she knew him well enough to know as much, which was probably why when his hands collided with her chest she couldn’t stop herself from being shoved to the ground. “You could’ve done both! You could’ve saved him but you didn’t!”

There were tears welling up in her eyes; before this, if he’d seen them Miles would’ve wiped them away and asked her what’s wrong.

“What did you expect me to do?! Miles, I wasn’t going to let you-”

“You destroyed the building, you brought the fight here…” he was hissing, but the gritting of his teeth as she got back to her feet made it come out as a mumble. “You killed my dad.”

She took a step forward, cautious, as if she were somehow afraid she’d hurt him. “That’s not fair and you know it,” she tentatively reached out a hand, aiming for his shoulder but it was smacked away and she took the hint, this time taking a step back.

“You killed my dad.”

That must’ve been the moment Y/N realized there was no way to defuse this situation. He wasn’t going to listen, why would he? She’d never seen him look at her with such disdain before, and she didn’t want to keep standing here and enduring it. She wasn’t even sure if he’d noticed the tears that’d started streaming down his face. She took another step back, and Miles didn’t budge. He reiterated his statement, he blamed her for his death, and if she had the choice between taking a bullet to the chest or experiencing the pain she felt as he stared at her like the worst human being on Earth, she would’ve chosen the bullet.

Miles didn’t look down, he was sure he would’ve emptied his stomach if he did, which might’ve been the reason he was unable to look away from the superpowered vigilante, his girlfriend, as she gave one last solemn look before jumping over the side of the building, catching one last sight of her swinging between buildings before e disappeared from sight.

The last thing he remembered from that day was laying eyes on his dad for one last time before the shock finally set in and he felt the weight of it all come crashing down. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was unconscious before he hit the ground.

What’s the right thing to someone who’s just explained to you that you (but technically not you) were the reason his father is dead, even more crazy being the fact that he’s another version of your boyfriend?

Trick question, there is no right thing to say to that, which may have been why you simply stood with a dumbstruck and pitiful look on your face as you stared down the other Miles.

The initial revelation was enough to send you into a shock, but as he stood holding up a newspaper detailing the exact event he’d just described after making you follow him to his room if you wanted an explanation, you couldn’t help but feel this was much worse.

Glancing into his eyes was almost just as painful as such. The emotion in his eyes was completely unreadable, one you assumed had to be a mix of grief, scorn and bewilderment.

He thinks you did this.

When you showed no signs of responding once he finished speaking, his eyes narrowed and he turned away. Miles shuffled between all of the papers he’d pulled down from the wall of his room silently, and you made no move to ask what he was doing. Instead, watching as he picked up a few before boldly holding them up to you.

“You disappeared after that day, without a trace, and so did Spider-Woman. No more saving the city, no more heroes, no more Y/N. Of course they searched but no one had any leads. There was a bounty out for you with a pretty nice reward too once the criminals started realizing you weren’t going to show your face again,” you took it he was referring to Spider-Woman when he said that, “and it’s still out. No sign of you since that day.”

The piece he held up showed said bounty, which you highly doubted was a legal one, and the one beside it pointed out the missing person’s case on you that you’d noticed earlier.

“I…” you started a sentence, but nothing you could’ve said would’ve answered any of his questions, so you stopped before you could finish.

It was clear to Miles that he wasn’t going to get anywhere, not right now anyway, and the words he was likely going to spill were cut off as he opened his mouth by a buzz coming from his pocket. He dropped the papers back on the desk, harsher than you would’ve appreciated, and pulled it out to check the messages.

The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife, but still you remained silent. He turned around and walked to the opposite side of the room as he picked up a phone call, leaving you to your thoughts for what felt like an eternity. In an attempt to move something along, you reached for one of the articles laying on his bed, but just as your arm came into view a gut wrenching pain came over you and you doubled over.

Pain wasn’t the right word to describe it. Your body started to flash with colors and pieces suddenly felt like they were missing from you. The best way to describe the look of the sudden attack would’ve been glitching, you assumed, and it lasted a few seconds longer than you would’ve liked. Your body was tearing itself apart and rebuilding itself at the same time, you hated the feeling.

When it subsided you were hunched over the bed, breathing heavily and groaning as you caught your breath. Miles had turned around at the sound of you being in pain, surprising rushing to your side and inspecting you when seemingly nothing was wrong before that moment, phone call long over.

“¿Qué ocurre?” Despite the earlier described events, there was still concern in his voice as he questioned your state and grabbed an arm to help you back onto your feet. You couldn’t help but wonder why.

“No- I, I’m fine. I don’t know what happened…” his confusion confirmed that he must’ve missed the trippy sight of your body glitching out, and for now you were glad he did.

“Look,” once you were deemed stable by his standards, Miles pulled back and let you go, a wary look in his eyes. “I don’t know what you could’ve done while you were gone or why you don’t remember what happened, only you can explain that to me.”

He walked past you, grabbing his coat and a suspiciously sharp mechanism you hadn’t noticed underneath his desk before heading for the door. Pausing, he turned around and looked you in the eye.

“I’ve got business to take care of, stay put. Doesn’t seem like you have anywhere else to go anyway.”

Miles slipped out of the room before you could come up with an appropriate reply, the door nearly slamming shut behind him. Seconds later, you heard what must’ve been the front door shut as well.

The stress of it all was starting to settle back into you, and you wanted the nightmare to be over. With nothing better left to do, you picked up all of the papers left behind, reading off the many articles grieving over the police captain’s death and the search for you as you placed them all in a pile before tossing it aside somewhere in the room. You didn’t bother remembering where.

A headache from the worries and injuries formed inside your head and you fell back onto the now-neat bed, rubbing at your temples. You couldn’t bring yourself to get tired or want to sleep with all that’d gone on and how much you’d learned so you resorted to closing your eyes and trying to relax instead. You weren’t sure how long you laid in that idle state since he’d left, trying to quell your thoughts before the sound of a window sliding open caught your attention.

Your eyes shot open and you sat up so fast it made your head spin and your side ache. Your eyes adjusted in the dark to the figure climbing through the window, getting defensive before you realized that you knew that familiar figure. Even more so, you recognized his hair, his mannerisms, it was like you could sense it without having to confirm. You were on your feet before you could even realize it, just in time to see him collapse onto the ground, breathing heavily.

“Miles!”

He jumped higher than you would’ve expected and sat up, and that’s when you got a good look at the tattered suit you couldn’t understand why he was in. The fear in his eyes when he realized you were in ‘his’ room must’ve matched the shock in yours when you realized what he was wearing.

“…Miles, what the fuck?”

2nd a/n. i mischievously tapped my fingers together as I wrote this whole thing out, also somethings to mention:

1. the whole time I was planning this out in my head I was STUMPED bc every idea for the backstory I had kind of conflicted with some of the major stuff in atsv like 42 miles being the one who was supposed to become spiderman, butttt then I realized that I’m literally writing fanfiction and can do whatever the fuck I want because fuck the canon so what did ol girl do????

I JUST MADE ANOTHER SPIDER AND SWITCHED THEM!!!!! problem solved. for now. which also means that

2. reader was actually supposed to become the second spiderman in 1610 but since the spiders switched the one in their world went after miles instead

and 3. Jesus Christ this was longer than I thought I wanted to split it into two but I felt like it would fuck up the tension so I didn’t <3 if you noticed plot holes then stfu it’ll just be our little secret, same goes for typos, i might come back and rewrite some stuff to make it better if I feel like it

4. in case I need to explain I changed the pov from 2nd because 42 y/n technically isn’t you <3

╰┈➤ ❝ tag-list ❞

— @brokeb1mbo, @ravieaesthetic, @sp1derm4nluver, @isa-444, @wassuppartypeople, @namtaeh, @whoisgami, @ponyboys-sunsets, @go-to-sleep-salem, @hana-1235, @j-natsuka, @lavzxx, @itzmeme, @iimng, @nycweb-slinger, @empress-pug-pug, @planetliaa, @mividaasi, @dolliied, @ukranianacearo, @solecitoszn, @izukusnovia, @abbyrxx12-blog, @conventionally-unconventional, @mileslovelygf, @ditto737, @iinlovewithfictionalppl, @superiorbyfar, @bingewatcheraf, @the-smut-plug, @whotfismirah, @gyuville, @blackspideysstuff, @1uv4jiya, @hobiesrockstargf, @pwettymoss, @a-pansexual-with-pancakes, @nefelibata-kopfkino, @ruttteerr, @randomhoex, @jcngw0ns, @danyxthirstae01, @noooooo222222, @browniebattermix, @asimpwhohatedlife, @6thhokageswife, @zeyzeys-stuff

#across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #atsv #atsv fanfiction #spider man #atsv x reader #miles morales #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles x reader #earth 42 miles morales x reader #prowler miles #prowler miles morales #miles g #miles g morales #spiderman miles morales #spiderman across the spiderverse #miles needs a hug #and 42 miles needs a hug and a dad #poor babies

[showtoonzfan]

Just want to preface this by saying i love ur analysis sm- u put my exact thoughts into words when i cant verbalise whats wrong with a particular writing decision 🥲🥲

Anyway, smth ive noticed is how... little time vivzie actually spends on writing or characterizing or fleshing out her characters.

Which has to be the weirdest thing so far bc every writer and artist ive met agree that its the best part of making an oc! Its so fun to think of backstories and tie that into their current personality and generally just figuring out random details to get to know your characters!

Like, my ocs are my best friends, i know everything abt them from their trauma and childhoods, to their favourite food and music.

But time and time again she proves that her characters are at best acquaintances... the fandom fleshes out the characters so well and with so much love and care and thought that vivzie herself cant do and its just sad.

Not even mentioning the hundreds of retcons and how characters will just change personality randomly or act out of character which results in the work feeling like a fanfic of itself. (Ironic considering some fanfics have better and more consistent characterisation)

It feels like shes making it up as she goes, instead of having an actual plan. Just shoving random ideas she likes or picks up from the much more creative fandom into the 2 shows without actually stopping and thinking abt the consequences or implications.

Theres so many decisions shes made that irk me so bad... the ideas individually have potential but they either dont fit the show or have to make huge retcons and result in the plot not making any sense.

Also, ngl but she has the worst case of tell dont show ive ever seen my god 😭😭 like... you realise you have to show things instead of just fucking singing it or having a character say it??? Or is that another thing that the fandom has to do so they can convince themselves that the show has good characters??

Atp idk how to salvage the show... i keep finding more and more plotholes and unless i literally turn my brain off and only focus on haha funny dick joke or pwetty colors, these questions keep popping into my head making it a painful unenjoyable experience.

Again, if the fandom has to justify your bad nonsensical hypocritical worldbuilding then you failed. Massively.

Anyway im very sleepy rn just wanted to rant a bit bc im a writer and artist myself and it pisses me off how someone gets their show on the air and still doesnt care abt putting in effort into their plot or characters beyond aesthetics and random ideas that dont go well together...

You’re speaking facts! And it’s honestly like..kinda funny too that people who have their own OC’s can flesh them out and deep dive into their arcs/backstories ect, yet a professional showrunner who’s had these characters for YEARS can’t even give the majority of her characters flaws or quirks, or even consistency, same goes for Helluva Boss.

Viv is a really good example at letting inspired writers know what not to do when making a story and characters so at least they have that lol.

#reply #ask #all facts btw heavily agree #thanks for ranting to me! #vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #hazbin hotel critical #anti vivziepop #Hazbin critical

[xiulric]

On SV fics and jin lan city AU fanfics

Jin lan city is one of my fave arcs in SV bc we have all this wonderful tension coming to a head. Sqq's devotion to binghe turned over its head, into fear and animosity

meanwhile binghe laboriously built himself up, meticulously planned and manipulated his way into a favorable political position both in the demon realm and as a huan hua disciple

despite his anger and resentment. he thinks this will prove to shizun that hes still valuable. bc xin mo digs its claws into binghes insecurity: sqq either rejected him bc of his demon heritage, or worse. sqq found him unlovable, the person who knew him best, saw the core of who he is, found him insufficient

hell. maybe this was a long con years in the making, sqq hated him since they met, and then only pretended to be nice to binghe so that sqqs betrayal would hurt more

and all this planning bites him in the ass!!!! it makes shizun resent him more!!!

some fics make the mistake of dissolving this tension too early. for the sake of speeding up the bingqiu cuddles

and like i think thats a waste bc those same misunderstandings, when resolved with good storytelling, lead to a satisfying conclusion that makes bingqiu feel deeper, with a stronger connection ! 

so anyway theres so many ways the jin lan meeting post abyss couldve gone. RIPE with potential for a variety of fun fanfic scenarios!!!

ive seen truth serum jin lan city aus, or obedience spell aus. even ones where sqq forces a soul connection so binghe. cant kill him without hurting himself

point is!! SO MANY OPTIONS

but my absolute favourite jin lan city aus, the most ironic, juicy, and hardest to execute imo :

aus where Binghe realizes something baffling about his shizun. the key to successfully manipulating SQQ and resolving this post-abyss misunderstanding.

its not through demonic power, prestige, manners or huan hua palace.

it's by binghe showing the most unlovable, weak side of himself. that makes sqq crumble like wet tissue paper IN AN INSTANT

if binghe in jin lan city cries, if hes hurt or sick, sqq will be there to help him immediately despite sqqs fear of binghe

sqq is so so weak to white lotus binghe that he would risk getting mauled by the demon emperor. bc he cant hold back his own need to coddle binghe

a sub point to this same weakness sqq has; jin lan aus where binghe pushes the limit of "how far will shizun go to pamper me?"

that one is tricky bc. it can sound OOC if written without believable buildup

disciple white lotus binghe is aware that sqq favours him; sqq vastly prefers binghes cooking over any other food. sqq got without-a-cure for binghes sake. binghe is head disciple.

but its not always that binghe realizes how FAR sqq would go to coddle binghe, and worse, sqq justifies it and lies to himself about it. "its only what binghe is owed! hes the protagonist! this world was built for him!"

so in some delicious jin lan aus, binghe goes; ok ok. shizun hates me now. but when i hug him.. he doesnt push me away? when i kill all the sowers, and jin lan proclaims me a hero, and i ask for shizuns hand in marriage... he doesnt DENY it to me??

shizun doesnt look happy. but he goes along willingly!?!?!?  WHAT IS GOING ON

basically it leads to more misunderstandings before a resolution BUT ITS SO JUICY!? SQQ's love for binghe vs his lying to himself about loving binghe! a truth he can hardly admit in the privacy of his mind !

and binghes confusion blending with his delight and the stinging betrayal of 3 years ago!!! CHEFS KISS

example below of this dynamic; from Sadie Hawkins fic by X_los

#scum villian self saving system #svsss #mxtx #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #bingqiu #meta #scum villain meta #scum villain #sv meta #svsss meta

[consistencynevermether]

Breaking down walls- Astarion x reader

Astarion x "uses humor to cope" reader, second person POV, 1.4k words, gn reader

tw- Mentions of Cazador, nothing else really?

a/n- ive been so obsessed with this little dude i love him sm. this is my first time writing fanfic online so any advice is welcome :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had never been good at genuine emotions. It was always so much easier to joke about such things, as a way to make people feel less shitty about their situation than to actually talk about the reality of things.

It’s what you had done with Karlach, making up all sorts of outrageous stories about the fun you and your best friend could get into once she was free from the furnace that burned inside of her. Even though deep down you had no idea how to free her from the flames. 

You had done it with Gale, making up jokes about his stereotypical “wizards tower” whenever he was feeling down about Mystra. Even though deep down you had no idea how he was supposed to cope with what she demanded of him. 

It was easy to joke. To make people feel good and laugh for a short amount of time. That’s what you told yourself. 

But the truth was, the alternative was hard. Feelings, reality, genuine bonds, they all meant you had to put down your walls. And the other person had to do the same. And deep down, you feared letting down your walls for someone, only for them to keep theirs up. 

It was probably why you liked Astarion so much. While you put up a front of jokes, he puts up a front of flirty advances. Both of you knew you were putting on an act, yet neither minded. Neither dared try to climb the other's wall. 

And so the two of you formed a bit of a routine, he would flirt, and you would tease. Both of you dancing around how you really felt like leaves fluttering in the wind. A subtle glance there and a stray brush of the fingers here made you think, or maybe hope, that he really felt something for you. Just a little. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on your part. 

But he’d never seen the sadness in your eyes when he would say those sweet words to you, both knowing he didn’t mean them. And if you had any say in it, he never would. It was better that way. Easier. Safer. And you’d be damned if you ruined the current relationship you had with him. Because at least you got to be close. A few genuine words among a sea of deception was far better than him shutting you out completely. Better savor what little you can have than lose it all right? 

That had been your mantra, right up until that night. 

You had had a bout of insomnia the night before, and so you had offered to take the first watch tonight. You'd hoped staying up extra late meant that after your watch you would instantly crash and hopefully fix your sleep schedule a little. 

It had started a little before midnight, you had heard Astarion mumbling something under his breath, tossing and turning. You had heard somewhere that elves only sleep for about 4 hours, so you figured it was best to leave him be. He’d be up soon anyway. 

And that plan worked fabulously. For about 5 minutes until the mumbles became more like cries for help. You knew what, or rather who he was dreaming about, and it hurt to see him in so much pain. 

Lifting yourself up from the rock you were seated on, you made your way to shake him awake, only for Astarion to shoot upright as you were about to grab his shoulder. 

Your eyes met, only inches apart, your face filled with mild shock and his with horror. 

Quickly recovering, you took a step back, giving him proper space so as to not add to his obvious terror. Unfortunately for you, trying to get away meant stumbling over your own crouched form and landing on your rear with a yelp. 

For a second you both sat there, you not daring to even breathe too loudly. while he looked at you in slight confusion, though that was mostly covered by the blinding terror still on his face.

You sat there in silence for a few more moments, before your brain finally kicked in and you realized you needed to say something, now. Preferably without sounding like a complete lunatic, freak, or wackjob.

“I-“ 

you open your mouth to speak, but Astarion beats you to it, his velvety voice cutting through your uncertain, cracking tone. 

“You know, you’re not the first person I’ve left speechless, although normally it’s for quite a different reason.” 

Astarion's tone was playful, but the slight shake in his voice was obvious. Once again, you couldn’t see beyond the walls he had built.

“Anyways love, sorry for disturbing your watch. Feel free to go b-“

“I was thinking of what to say.”

Your sudden interruption earned an eyebrow raise from the pale elf. 

“That hard for you darling? Maybe because you’re stunned by how beautiful I look when asleep?” 

He was giving you a way out. A way to laugh this all off and pretend like it never even happened the next morning. If it were any other time you might have taken it. If you didn’t see the fear in his eyes. If you didn’t see the way his hands were still shaking. If deep down, you didn’t want to break down your walls for him. 

Before you could think better of it, you opened your mouth. 

“I could say that Cazador can’t hurt you anymore. That you're safe here. But you're clearly hurting, so that isn’t true.” 

Now it was Astarion’s turn to look shocked. He hadn’t mentioned the dream was about Cazador but he didn’t have to. You knew all the same. He looked like he wanted to say something, to object maybe, but if you didn’t say what you wanted to say now you may never do it again. So you spoke again before he could.

“I could say that I’m going to rip that bastard limb from limb for you, but-“

You shrug and gesture vaguely to the camp around you. The supplies you all had managed to scrounge together, and your weary companions sleeping silently nearby 

“We don’t exactly have a plan now, do we? Hells we can’t even figure out how to be rid of this damn tadpole. So saying that’s definitely out, nobody wants to hear empty promises” 

A dry bark of laughter escaped Astarion,s lips, probably out of shock from your brutal honesty, but you weren’t done yet.

You opened your mouth one more time, voice shaky but eyes locked onto his all the same.

“I could-

I could tell you that I don’t know everything about your past. About what all he did to you. But I do know that whatever your future holds, I will be there. I will stand beside you and I will not leave. No matter what you choose I will support you. I will stay. And you will not go back Astarion. You will never go back under him. Not while I breathe. Not when you can still fight. You won’t do this alone, I swear that to you.”

And just like that you had broken down your walls. There were no jokes, no double meanings, no way out of it. Because despite the fear, you wanted to be seen. And you wanted to see him too. Not the act that he put up, but the real genuine version of him, scars and all. 

Astarion looked at you in silence, it was his turn to be rendered speechless. Despite all your bravado before, this was terrifying. Honestly, jumping into a pit of hungry manticores seemed more appealing than this current conversation. You looked down at the ground, unable to hold his gaze any longer. A million thoughts ran through your mind, but no matter what you wouldn’t take it back. You couldn’t go back to stealing glances at him and smiling at his honeyed words, secretly wishing he’d meant them. Not again, you just ca-

A cool hand against yours stopped your train of thought right in its tracks. 

Long, slender, Pale fingers wrapped around yours. And your mind went silent.

You whipped your head up to Astarion, but he wasn’t looking your way. His eyes were focused on the horizon, not even stealing a glimpse in your direction. But he gently weaved your fingers together more. His grasp was firm, yet still slightly shaking. 

A crack in his wall. A start. A glimpse at the real Astarion you so desperately wished to see. 

You sat together in silence. Your hands never left each other's grasp, not until you were eventually overtaken by sleep.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion romance #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x mc #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 astarion #astarion fic

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Hey there, been enjoying your content for a while now! I gotta take the new episode opportunity and request Chaz calling the reader to help him get away from Crimson, like a last minute rescue and finding a way to fake a trophy and trick the mafia, maybe some sex-as-thanks at the end, if you want to. As an addendum, this is an idea I got and plan to write my own fanfic with it, and I'd love to see your take on this scenario!

Life Saver!

Oh how could it all go so so wrong?!

Chaz had been running for, Hell, hours? It'd long since gone dark.

He held his side, a stray bullet from Crimson having hit him while he made his less than elegant escape, the man running through the bustling city that covered the majority of Greed, blood soaking the side of his shirt and quickly working its way down his pants.

Eventually, he'd duck into a back alley, wedging himself between a set of dumpsters. The shark man stayed huddled there for what felt like hours, doing his best to steady his breathing as he stayed sat there.

He'd sit there long enough for the adrenaline to wear off, and once it did, the blood loss finally hit him, the man collapsing in his hidden nook, passing out.

He'd awaken mid morning, wheezing as he stood up, the man clutching his side.

The bleeding had stopped, though his shirt and leg was absolutely soaked in blood.

That wasn't good.

Exiting the alleyway, he was entirely unsure of what the Hell to do.

So, he wandered.

He walked down the Street, body weak, occasionally being bumped into, or stepping over the occasional dead body.

But it'd be after some Imp got his head blown off, Chaz getting covered in brainmatter.

And while he initially complained, wiping his face. However as he spat out brains, he'd find his salvation in the dead Imp's hand.

A Cellphone!

So, snatching it up, he spent a long minute thinking of who he could actually call.

It's not like he had any friends. Burned most bridges. Fucked up the rest.

OH!

There was one person that didn't totally despise his guts. Someone that wouldn't kill him on sight.

So, after a minute trying to remember your number he'd finally pressed it into the phone.

It rang, Chaz desperately hoping you'll answer.

After another minute or so, you'd pick up. Before you could actually say anything Chaz blurted out.

"(Y/N)! Please don't hang up. Please!"

There was a long silence before he heard you sigh. "What do you want Chaz?"

He almost wept, pleading with you.

"Please, look I know Ive been an ass in the past, but I need your help. I've got myself in shit with the mob and your the only person in the seven rings I can trust right now!"

There was several minutes of silence before he added another desperate. "Please!"

There was another moment of silence before you sighed, telling him. "Fine... Do you remember the park where we met?"

He nodded, before smacking his forehead, telling you. "Yeah, I... I'm not too far from it."

"Alright, I can be there in 10. Be there." He released a heavy breath, the man about to thank you before you added. "Dont be seen. If your being followed by the mob, I'd suggest changing clothes, or at least covering up or something. I'll be in a red car."

Then you hung up, and so, following your instructions, he made his way to the park.

He'd manage to snatch a blanket covering up his faux tuxedo'd body. The man managing to cover his hair with a cap he snatched off some kids head.

He made it to the park fairly easily though he was still light headed from the blood loss, his head on a swivel as he watched for red cars.

As he did, he'd spot a pair of men. Men that were obviously on the lookout for sombody.

And not wanting to tempt fate, the shark demon quickly avoided eye contact, staring at the ground in hopes of garnering their attention.

Unfortunately for him, his luck hadn't turned, the set of men obviously spotting him.

He'd struggle to his feet, intending to make a runner. Or well, a shamble, man almost to the street when you finally pulled up.

"Get in!"

You yelled.

And he did, the man leaping in, the shark awkwardly balled up as you sped off, Chaz awkwardly fixing himself, having to move his ridiculous tail as you drove. Chaz sure to toss the blanket and hat, said garments immediately covering another cars window and making it crash.

"UnHoly shit! thank you!"

You didn't say anything, just driving along the street, intentionally not looking at the man.

Youd drive him back your place, making sure to take the long way with plenty of turns just in case someone was following you.

But after a while, you'd pull up to your clinic, you climbing out, coming around and helping him up.

You carried himside, the man weakly thanking you again as you helped his weakened form into a chair.

Youd quickly get to work fixing him up, cleaning and stitching up the wound, the man hissing and groaning at the pain.

"How ya feeling?" Youd ask, finally finished fixing him up.

Taking a few heavy breaths, Chaz chuckled, adjusting his seating before telling you.

"Ah, I'm alright. Will take more than a bullet to take my big dicked, sexy ass out."

You snorted, shaking your head telling him.

"Good... good."

Before you turned and smacked him right across the face.

"That was for getting mixed up with the mob!"

You then smacked him again.

"And that's for drinking all my medical grade alcohol, disappearing for half a year before calling me to save your ass, you prick!"

With that you calmly turned, grabbed your equipment and walking out of the room, the shark demon just sitting, watching as you casually walked away, man holding his sore cheek.

He'd find you cleaning your tools, Chaz awkwardly asking. "Sooo... do you still hate me?" He asked rather nonchalantly.

You paused, slumping over before snorting, shaking your head.

"Your dumbass you know that?" You chuckled, shaking your head, rolling your eyes.

Turning around, you face him, reaching out to cup his cheek, looking over the mark you'd left. You shook your head, looking into his eyes.

"You look like shit." You told him bluntly, the man breaking into laughter, you quickly following.

The both of you sharing a laugh. You sat him down, having him eat something before taking him to your bathroom, telling him to clean up.

Telling him to hand over his clothes when he gets in.

Of course he made a joke about you joining him, but after a singular look hed back down, apologising.

And so, stripping down, he'd hand you his clothes, the man taking a delightfully hot shower.

Youd put his clothes in the wash, finishing up sanitising your equipment before heading back to your room just as Chaz stepped out.

He had the decency to actually wear a towel, the past 24 seemingly taking its toll as he stumbled out the shark, towel barely staying attached as he flopped on your bed.

You just rolled your eyes, the man quickly curling up his massive tail, the man asking in a "sexy" voice, or more accurately, 'half asleep' voice if he could 'pay you back~'.

To which you threw a pair of his pants at him, a pair he'd left at your place the last time he'd been their. I.e. before he ran drunk off his ass on medical grad alcohol.

And so, while he got dressed you'd ask him who he'd managed to piss off.

The man made you promise not to get mad, you telling him to tell you or he could leave.

And so, making the sane choice, he'd reveal it was Crimson.

You were sure to throw something at him, yelling at him for being so stupid as to get mixed up with A Knowlastname.

However, it was as you were about to throw a shoe at him, that it hit you.

You knew exactly how you were gonna gat him out of this situation.

Chaz would ask what you had in mind, you simply throwing the shoe, telling him to get ready, you had somewhere to be.

Chaz would point out he was missing a shirt, and so, you'd throw him a robe, as you didn't have any shirts in his size.

You'd zip off to the "meat market".

Or as you called it, "the sketchy ass back alley market where surgeons get organs and shit for their sketchy ass surgeries".

It wasn't a pleasant place, and not one you went often, but for your purposes you were sure you could find exactly what you needed.

It took a long while to find a cadaver that matched him shockingly well. He was a lanky, recently dead shark shmuck that honestly, looked like he could be Chaz' twin.

And luckily, The dead man had a full set of teeth.

So, grabbing the dead bastard, you'd pay an annoyingly high price, Chaz promising to pay you back, befire you dragged him back to your place, and after some work on Chaz, youd get to work.

Youd check Chaz's teeth, making a mental note, and after some work, you had the cadavers chompers looking almost identical.

You knew of the Mob boss Crimson's proclivity to collect the teeth, horns or collars of his enemies, and as such took extra care that they looked authentic, Chaz spending most of the night with his mouth open.

And so, after a few hours of surgery, you had a very Chaz looking set of teeth.

And so waiting a few days and after taking some rather convincing photos of the mutilated Chaz look alike, man half burnt in a crashed car you found in some alleyway, youd manage to contact Crimson's men.

You spun a long yarn on hearing something about Chaz, you knowing him, making sure to glance over at him as you described him being a dumbass.

Of course theyd ask why you cared, you telling them you had a history and happened to find him dead, likely trying to steal a boobytrapped car, not that you shed a tear in finding him dead.

Something that got a wounded look from Chaz, the two of you sharing a drink at the time, Chaz less than subtly pulling you towards him with his tail, you smacking his tail as you climbed out, telling the man you had his chompers as well as evidence.

He'd ask what you wanted, you telling him a small sum for your effort. Removing and sanitising teeth wasn't easy after all.

And so, after some more back and forth, you set up a meeting.

Youd come face to face with Crimson himself, you handing over several images of a 'dead' Chaz, the man not saying a word till you handed over 'his' chompers.

Crimson stared at them for a looong, looong minute, before silently nodding, placing the teeth back onto the box as one of his goons handed you an envelope of cash.

With a respectful bow, you'd highfalutin it back home, blurting into your clinic, rushing upstairs with a cheer.

Chaz would pop out of the closet, the man having been waiting for the worst, the man equipped with one of your kitchen knives.

Though you didn't get the chance to ask him about it as he quickly approached, spinning you around and pulling you close.

Chaz suggested you go out and party, but luckily for the both of you, you weren't that stupid and decided to stay in and order some higher end fast food.

As well as you popping down the street for some cheep champagne.

The two of you would spend the night together, eating good food, sharing some very tasty champagne as you shared a toast to Chaz's death.

Youd somehow end up wrapped in his tail, the both of you speaking softly over your past, the man apologising for running.

For stealing from you.

For being such a useless prick.

He'd lean in close, thanking you for being the only person he could count on in all Hell, even if he didn't deserve it.

Youd lean in close, asking him if hed meant all if that, that he was actually sorry for being a prick, or if he was that same old Chaz.

He'd pause, silent for moment before sighing, the man looking back up at you before apologising again, telling you simply he was an asshole, but, well, he'd like another chance. If you'd have him?

And so, with a moment of thought, you'd kiss.

A deep, passionate kiss, the two of your curling up in bed, quickly getting down to buisness.

Youd end up curled up in bed, sheets a mess, both naked and nasty, Chaz curled up around you, nuzzling your collar as he held you close.

Youd lean down, the two of you sharing a kiss.

He'd ask if you'd, well, wanna give it another try... if you'd have him?

You'd lay there for a long minute, not saying anything until you'd finally lean in, giving him a deep, passionate kiss.

You wouldn't be an 'official thing' first a long time, especially with Chaz having to learn to be dead. But after a long time together, you'd genuinely end up loving each other.

And while it was never perfect, nothing in Hell was, and you made due.

And as cheesy as it was, you'd live Mostly happily, ever after.

#helluva boss #headcanon #helluva boss headcanon #x reader #helluva boss x reader #chaz x reader #chazwick thurman #helluva boss chaz

[your-writer-beta-side-piece]

Looks like it’s time for me to pop back up again begging for fics about my new hyper fixation!

What’s in store for you in this post:

*An impassioned plea throughout the whole post to all of you amazing writers

*Gifs that will keep you up at night too

🎅 *My Gator Tillman fic Christmas wishlist 🎅

🏆*A (Smutty) Rec at the bottom for the best Gator x OC I’ve found so far🏆

*More gifs because goddamn I’m in a chokehold 

It is seriously criminal how there’s like, two Gator x OC’s (that I can find, if you have any don’t hold out on me please!! I feel like I’m going through withdrawals having to wait a week for another episode as it is) on here and AO3. 

I mean come on we all love ourselves a slutty, dominate, broken character that we all fantasize about fixing. 

Not a single thought I’ve had about this man has of the Christ like variety, and I don’t think I really need to explain why just look at these gifs/photos:

HE HAS HANDCUFFS ON THE BED THE FICS ARE WRITING THEMSELVES 

🎅My Gator Tillman Fanfic Christmas wishlist🎅:

I want a full story fleshing out our new favorite loser, but still somehow so damn attractive, Gator

I want an ofc that is too good for him but we all know we’d sink that low too girl

I’d LOVE it if it followed canon. Like how in the show he’s trying to get her/he's going after her like he is trying to get Dot 

(come on if he was stalking you and called out to you and said “mama it’s time to come home” YOU TOO WOULD FOLD)

I want him to use those handcuffs on our girl once he finally gets her

I want smut 

Y’all on AO3 come up with the best damn oc’s there’s a reason they’re binding yalls books and talking about them all over booktok like you guys are published authors 

(Im not saying it’s right/that I participate or that it is even legal, I’m saying Ive seen it and I know you guys have the caliber of writing to make some people not give a fuck and try the law for some of you guy's stories)

I want him to call her mama

I want the dominance, the stalking, the cat and mouse chase

I want a plot as wild as this season and those families are

I know some people hate fics that follow plots of books or shows but this season is AMAZING and so fucking wild. I love it and I’d love to read about it and be immersed further into Fargo. I don’t want to leave the season 5 Fargo world I want to stay longer... with Gator

I want more smut 

A plot that can only be contrived by fanfic authors who have been reading and writing since they were 15 or even younger

I want even more smut 

I want all of the angst, good writing, and humor you can think of

I have a feeling we’ll need some of you fic doctors to write us a fix it fic of some sort 

But I especially want smut. I want to drown in smut. 

I want it all and you guys have served it all before so I know it's possible

If I could outline a whole plot, along with side plots, new characters and character arcs, write, and edit as fast as some of you guys can I would do it myself. I would do it for us. I’ve considered it. I mean I’ve been really considering it these past few days since it’s dryer out here than the Lyon’s bed. I’ve got an idea, lust, Christmas candy, and the hyper-focus to keep me interested for at least three to four weeks!! (I might have started if it wasn't the week before finals for me right now)

But some of you guys who’ve written for Steve Harrington (let alone other fandoms) have the ability to be best selling authors, so I know these communities have both the talent, ability, and the horniness to do this. 

I believe in you guys, I believe in us. Let's do it for Christmas 🎄

REC I PROMISED:

Since it is the season of giving, I’m going to share my favorite fic so far. Let me know if there’s any fics we need to add, OR if there’s any books with love interests like Gator, for science 👀 

Again the general criteria I’m using is along the lines of:

Is there an actual story going on?

Is there an oc who has a purpose, goals, wants, needs, an actual arc of some sort?

Is Gator Tillman still sexy af?

Is it following canon or is it original?

Is the plot and characterization good?

Does Gator call her mama or is it at least probable that he will 👀 ?

Is the grammar/writing good?

Basically the same stuff we all want to check off 

MY FAVORITE FIC SO FAR REC: 

The best I’ve found so far has been: 

Every Little Thing

By BuckysGrace

Link:

Why I like love it:

1.) The writing is pretty damn good

Normally we have to wait a few weeks or months with new movies/shows/books for people to have time to write and publish their well written and plotted fics but we have been blessed early!!

I really like the sprinkle of tid bits to come here and there. The authors really laying the foundation down for this story leaving little comments and hints here and there in their writing and characters conversations. 

I can tell that the author is really working hard to create believable oc's and a world that could actually be a part of the Fargo TV show universe.

2.) Damn the little taste of smut we got just flamed the fire!

Tell me why I could actually visualize Gator during that scene?!?! It really felt like his characterization was perfect here! And damn I love me some dominant, possessive, jealous himbos who would kill for me or worse.

I PROMISE I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SPOIL ANYTHING FOR YOU GUYS!!!

3.) I really like our girl Daphne (OC)

I feel like I can actually see her. Like I can hear her when she speaks. I can feel the awkwardness of her situation and her uncomfortableness radiating through me. 

I like that she's shaping up to be a character with wants and goals and not just a 2-d romantic partner

4.) GODDAMN THAT DINNER WAS AWKWARD AND SEXY 

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE AFTERMATH ooooooo boy.  I’m not spoiling anything. You can suffer (and enjoy 😏) that part all for yourselves

5.) We have confirmation from the author that there is a whole ass plot and story in the works

I love to hear it almost as much as I love to read it! But I could tell that they had some stuff in mind from the way they were writing alone before the confirmation. 

6.) AND ITS GOING TO FOLLOW CANON EVENTUALLY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME US! 

I might just get to hear Gator call our girl mama before I die from fic starvation. Plus we just might get the stalker Gator on page like we have on screen!

7.) I like the dual time line

It’s done a good job of getting me hooked. I’m really interested in learning more about Daphne’s past and her relationship with Gator. I think as time goes on as we learn more about their relationship and her relationship with both her family and his things are really gonna kick off.

4.) Gators characterization seems to be pretty accurate 

He's selfish, possessive, dominante, kind of a jackass, but he is also sweet to those he cares about. Which, is something I've noticed when watching the show, and I've seen some posts talking along similar lines. I don't think he's mean deep down, I don't think he has it in him. I think the facade he puts on is the product of his father.

BUT I'm not excusing anything he's done of course

6.) The grammar is pretty good 

Good writing like punctuation and sentence structure along with good story telling is just so important to me. I'm one of those people who can't get into a story if it's not written well.

7.) GUYS IM SMELLING THE ANGST COMING

Some of us are like blood hounds for this stuff, you read hundreds or even thousands of fics and books and you can start to know what goodies are coming your way. And I can feel the pain train a comin down the tracks! 

8.) The smut is promising to be real real good 

I just want to circle back to this for a moment because I am so excited to read more

What I don’t like about it:

It’s not longer/finished already so I can't devour it in one sitting 😭

You might not have read it yet 

@buckysgrace

I think the only way through this is to fill our thirst for this man and if here and TikTok have shown me anything it’s that we’re DAMN thirsty! 

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!? GO WRITE MORE GATOR X OC SO WE CAN ALL DEVOUR IT ON A03 OR READ BUCKYSGRACE’S FIC AND CRY WITH ME THAT THERES NOT MORE OF IT OR MORE OF ANY OTHER GATOR X OFC FICS 😭😭😭

*Did I write all of this instead of doing homework and studying for next weeks finals? Yes. Am I eventually going to devolve into a fic rec/review only blog? Maybe maybe not.

More gifs/photos for research purposes

#fargo s5 #fargo season 5 #fargoedit #fargo #gator tillman #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman smut #gatortillman #joe keery #steve harrington smut #steve harrington #gator tillman x oc #jack skellington #at this point I might actually pay money #all I want for Christmas is this #christmas #tv #tvedit #please god have me be reborn in this world in the next life #smut #rough smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #gif #I think I can fix him #or make him much worse #gator tillman fic #steve harrington x reader #archive of our own #gator tillman x y/n

[another-lost-mc]

i actually feel the same way, i lost passion on playing bcus it looks like the reason why devs made another om game is bcus its easier to rebuild from scratch but they dont realise the reason why om is popular is bcus of the chars and the early years had some passion but it looks like the fire got extinguished as the years go on.

i dont know how many times they've butchered the chars and as you note: the lore does have potential but yea, underdeveloped. ive seen some NB spoilers and its a mess. the way they wrote the celestial realm and "Father" is just... bad. i feel like they're pandering to "safe" zone. less violence and the writers are struggling between themselves when writing celestial realm. either its good or bad, more leaning on the latter (which understandable since MC is on the devildom which may sway them to the demons depending on the player) when it should be on grey area. been so disappointed many times since sometimes they were going the right way. (i.e OM season 2) but they keep steering away again and crashing down.

that's why i lean on fiction. writer's like you are one of the reasons why i keep coming back to the fandom. you're one of my favorites actually, hence why i miss you writing for them. you literally breathe life into them, it only made me wish that you're a part of om writing team (along with the others). whether you're writing for ocs and/ canon chars, ill definitely still be here! your writing is THAT good. i always end up eating well whenever you publish your works. 🤤

Yeah, Obey Me is in a weird spot where the main characters are demons/angels/immortal sorcerers that all sort of act the same. Not perfectly good, not terribly bad, just walking along the line of what seems most palatable. Making the game suitable for a younger/wider audience probably means making them a bit more generic and less edgy/morally ambiguous. Fortunately, there's a ton of great fanfic out there that explores the darker parts of the characters when the game hesitates to do that.

The Celestial Realm has so much potential. I like exploring Michael's character because he's not perfect and he's capable of making bad choices and mistakes as much as the demons are. His part in NB so far has been...strange. I think Father's character has to be handled carefully too. He's boring as an omnipresent leader if he's too passive/inconsequential, but if the writing goes too far in the other direction, he ends up being like a bad cartoon supervillain.

For the A x M story, I ended up including Father when I don't normally write about his character/presence beyond vague mentions. I had to tweak things a bit because I realized I made him too much of an asshole and I didn't want that. I had to amp up Belial's involvement to make up for it which makes sense cause, y'know, demon. It's tempting to put most of the blame on a single unlikable character when there's multiple characters at fault for the bad things that end up happening.

#jes.replies

[mamadarama]

hey sorry im bringing up an ask thats about a week old but re: rinne amagi transmasc thing:

the whole "going against your family's expectations/leaving your home and becoming who you want" could be read as trans metaphor (so could his old more fake persona of "good guy idol" vs his current "fuck you i do what i want attitude" come to think of it)

when it comes to rinne calling niki wife, its not funny if nikis transmasc and rinne isn't it just feels kinda mean tbh. however trans dude calling cis guy wife is funny (better yet: niki transfem/nb egg. rinne is chipping away at that shell more every day)

i like the idea of both amagis being transmasc, fic i havent posted yet but follows this general plot with little amagi bros: "hey im a boy now" "woah thas so poggers,,, i wish i could do that" "Boy Do I Have News For You"

its actually not a hc ive seen that much compared to other trans hcs, fics with trans rinne are few and far between. and i think there should be more

yeah i can sorta see where youre coming from . i hc niki as transmasc agender and rinne as cis*. theres nothing wrong with using feminine terms for a transmasc person as long as theyre comfortable with it. i think niki is fine with it but only if its rinne, because he knows rinne doesnt see him as a girl and is using it as a term of endearment rather than a method of degrading him. so its something of a pet name for them rather than a word that means something . as for fanfics i wouldnt know cuz i only read doujinshi (i hate reading anything without pictures)

* hes cis by definition but his relationship with his gender is more complicated than this. a better term might be "cis+" if that makes any sense. i hc a lot of characters this way

#ask #anon

[cannibal-nightmares]

howdy, im cannibal-nighmares, i am/was/am a professional artist, amateur music critic, and literary hobbyist. I draw professor franken stein from soul eater quite a lot. I do not have a consistent-enough temperament to describe myself in words, but my principles remain the same: Do no harm, take no shit.

sometimes i post about the lived schizophrenic experience. i post entirely for the purpose of psychoanalytical observation, to share the perspective of what it's like, and to resonate with like-minded people. unless i explicitly state otherwise, i do not want any semblance of your pity. if you seek further understanding, i am open to questions, but know that my experience does not speak for or reflect everyone else's.

I never judge books by their cover and hold a grain of salt to everything before giving out ultimatums; in other words, I leave judgement to my own experience and not the opinions of others. I am known to be cautious, aloof, and skeptical. I am notorious for going radio-silent without any given notice. Nothing personal. Bad wiring. I believe in pure talent and pure spite equally, though my opinion shouldn't change what you do with your passions, so long as you are truly devoted. my only real goals in life are to rewrite the stigma around schizophrenia and to write fiction novels. ...and maybe make a bunch of fan art on the in-between.

uuuuhhhh other stuff ive seen in ppl's pinned posts that I am even less formal about:

my tags are #my art, #cannibal-nightmares rambles, #cannibal's music, #actually schizophrenic, #actually schizospec, #actually psychotic, #my fanfic, #my gifs among a few others.

as for content warnings, i try my best to tag for flashing lights/images (a sensitivity of my own), unreality, depictions of hallucinations, indiscernible voices, scopophobia, and gore. i find comfort in creepy shit, what can i say?

i like a lot of things, but my primary obsessions are Soul Eater (anime and manga), Hannibal (the entire franchise), Maniac (2018), House MD, and "The Boys Next Door" (1996). other big favourites include Fargo (FX), Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, "Re-Animator" (1985), Arcane, True Detective, "Donnie Darko" (2001), "Ghost World" (2001), "Trainspotting" (1996, 2016) and much more. and sooo much music. So much music.

my (anon) asks are always open. send me a song or a question or a headcanon, if you dare. my response time means genuinely absolutely nothing, by the way, I might be the worst and most inconsistent reply in the world.

i'll probably end up making a schizophrenic storytime-type masterlist somewhere, sometime.

wow you made it this far. have some songs:

[ loathe - tool - circuit circuit - tear dungeon ]

peace, love, and anarchy.

cannibal.

#pinned post #this pin will come and go cause ehhhhhh

[alphabetboyluvr]

Ok so I saw that long ass post that anon sent you about the vote thing on Wattpad, and while I don’t agree with some of what they said where they told you what to do (which they shouldn’t have done, they were rude) I do actually agree with them where they said people don’t tend to look at the votes when deciding whether or not to read a story. I actually think the whole vote thing is just something only authors care about, not readers.

As an avid reader on Wattpad, I do give votes just because authors like it- but I don’t actually give a shit about how many votes a story has when I’m looking for my next story to read. I look at the number of views- which I think you’ll find most readers do, even though the view count can be skewed.

Either way, I do think the whole vote thing should be taken off Wattpad as to the majority of readers, they really don’t care about it and it doesn’t give a good representation of how good a story is

I've been thinking about this all a lot ever since the last anon came in. I'll probably avoid answering questions about this topic again, but there does seem to be disconnect between the writer and reader standpoint, so I'll try and explain my thoughts as best I can without waffling for ages lol

my answer is to this ask, but also to the topic in general, and thoughts I've had regarding that last anon.

it's a really difficult topic to discuss because wattpad has an algorithm that is never really explained to writers. i cant say its important because xyz - i can just give you my own experience. ive been on wattpad for 11 years and have seen it through many changes. i used to use the activity tab to find new stories, and i honestly think getting rid of that was detrimental to the user experience tbh.

as it stands, we don't know what the algorithm favours, so we have to do what we can.

and what can we do? we can tag our work, we can acquire reads and votes, and then we can do more laborious things such as entering award books run by other users and engaging with our readers in various ways.

the tag system, and trending stories under those tabs, are really skewed. for instance, I don't think any of my stories have ever made it onto the fanfic tab, nor have I ever ranked highly under tags despite having really engaged readers and metrics which would suggest I would be.

so, unlike what the last anon said, my stories haven't always been 'out there'. word of mouth, and some stroke of luck tiktoks, are what's pushed them more than anything. so in that way, yeah the desire for votes is flawed—but personally I don't think read count is indicative of quality. if we're thinking about it from a marketing standpoint and conversion rates etc, votes a far more indicative of quality and I'd rather be known for quality over quantity.

the last anon also specifically noted the number of reads/follows I have on wattpad, and suggested that I shouldn't care because those numbers are high—which, respectfully I disagree with. if I didn't care in the early days, I wouldn't have pushed myself to make it to where i am. you can't just expect me to switch off that part of my personality. I'm ambitious and I really care about the things I create.

my girliepop oc's tend to have ambitious streaks and personal goals that they work hard for. they take after their mother, in that sense.

i think what confuses me the most is why it irks people, when you boil it down. its a tap on the screen for readers—and having just uploaded an 11k chapter that took hours to write, to edit, to craft, only to then be told its not worth it? i dunno man, it's just mean lol.

you can think these thing by all means, but don't come into my space just to be cruel. sometimes it okay to keep your opinions in your group chats.

the system is flawed, but I don't think you can blame a gal for just trying to work with it in the only way she knows how

#like at the end of the day none of this matters #none of it at all #i just take such offense to labelled as greedy lmao #its really bothered me lol #ask #sorry to this anon tho cause i went on a big ass tangent

[raytorosaurus]

maybe this is a 'hot take' for which i apologize but. i feel like fanart is a big aspect of this too- how different even is it to make 'rpf' of gerards stage characters as opposed to fanart of it. it's essentially only a different medium. keeping it separate from gerard (Person In Reality Who Has A Life) outside of (character he made up to have fun with) can also easily be an invitation for fans to have fun with it too. which is why a healthy relationship with it can and does bring good things. in theory i mean. ive never seen an mcr fanfic i really liked but :p

yeah i see what you mean, it's one of the reasons that the step from tumblr (or twitter) fandom to the ao3 tag feels like. quite an arbitrary place to draw the line? as if the same thoughts and behaviours are fine right up into they're intentionally put to prose - but images or even comics are okay, textposts discussing their emotions and states of mind as extrapolated from live shows or song lyrics, putting research into constructing timelines of their lives or compiling facts about them as people - even writing (sometimes quite detailed) sexually explicit posts/tags about them is common around here. i do a lot of these things too - i'm not saying they're inherently wrong or bad - but i genuinely don't see how they're any less prone to being disrespectful or invasive or comically removed from reality than a writer putting them in a situation lol. they all involve some level of assumption, scrutiny, and interpretation.

there are definitely valid arguments to make against engaging with rpf in a fandom sense! i totally respect that, and it's something i felt kind of ashamed/guilty about when i first got into mcr, so i understand the reservations. it's just that...the way i see it, i truly think those arguments just as reasonably apply to so much of what happens in any fandom involving real people. behaviours that are extremely common and far from unique to the online fan spaces of today, to the point where avoiding them is a more conscious decision than engaging in them. i respect if people do make that choice, but...that isn't any of us who are running mcr fanblogs yk? haha.

anyway yeah. i agree with you anon, i reckon most people's definition of what does and doesn't entail rpf is just a lot narrower than the reality. there's a lot of extremely beautiful, highly-skilled emotive fanart out there, for which i'm so appreciative! i 100% don't mean it as an insult when i say those often a different kind of rpf. so are the emotive posts about how much this tour means to all the guys, how happy they are, how much they love each other and how they're all friends. i'm not saying these things are untrue, i'm just saying they absolutely don't paint an unbiased holistic picture of real human beings and their genuine emotional states hahaha. neither does fanfiction. and i just think it's impossible to not realise that if you're engaging with fanfic in any kind of thoughtful way, as opposed to reblogging textposts about them on tumblr that also project a lot onto them, yk?

and okay. i also think "the bible/succession/velvet goldmine etc etc is rpf too! shakespeare wrote rpf!" is equally as reductive as "rpf is when fangirls write about band members boning each other." as always, there's just so much more nuance there. what does and doesn't make rpf is a lot more about intent, and if you're parasocially attached to these people as deeply as we all are, most of us just share that same intent. and from what i've seen (though in fairness this is the first real person fandom i've been in, and i only really talk to other adults) it tends to be the people actively engaging with fanfic who are a better at accepting how much of fandom is pure projection and assumption based on very limited information. and that acceptance is a huge part of having a healthier relationship with celebrities/bands/bandom (along with the conscious acknowledgement that these people don't owe us anything at all besides the shows we bought tickets for - least of all insight into their personal lives or private thoughts.)

like genuinely? free your minds. we're all making shit up based on the little parts we see, i think it's healthier and more fun to openly accept that. who cares what's real when we can talk about things in terms of narratives and arcs and metaphors - none of which truly exist in real life, which is infinitely complex and individual and messy. or, more precisely, who cares what's real as long as you know what isn't! and keep that stuff far far away from the real human people involved in the band.

#my god im sorry this is so long and probably very repetitive. djdmfjdj. #but yeah im with you anon #answered #mcr talk

[emailsfromanactor]

About the Authors of Emails from an Actor

From Letters from an Actor:

William Redfield made his first appearance on the stage in 1936 at the age of nine and has been acting ever since. He has appeared in a wide variety of roles in productions from Our Town to Out of This World, from Junior Miss to A Man for All Seasons. He has also been in a number of motion pictures, the latest of which is Fantastic Voyage. He is a charter member of The Actors Studio. Mr. Redfield is married and has two children. He lives in New York City.

We'll get to know Redfield very well through his writing, and he was well-known enough that he has a Wikipedia page as well as IMDB and IBDB pages with long lists of credits. That Our Town mentioned was the original 1938 production, in which he played Si Crowell. He also did a lot of radio work, including 80 episodes of CBS Radio Mystery Theater, many of which can be heard here and here. And here are some film clips:

Redfield died in 1976 at the age of 49.

From John Gielgud Directs Richard Burton in Hamlet:

Richard L. Sterne is an actor by profession, and his credits as a young actor are indeed impressive. A graduate of Northwestern Uni­versity, Mr. Sterne appeared on Broadway in John Gielgud’s produc­tion of Hamlet starring Richard Burton, obtaining first-hand the material for this book. He toured with the National Repertory Thea­tre under the directorship of Eva LeGallienne, appearing in Liliom and She Stoops to Conquer. Mr. Sterne also appeared with the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, where he played Romeo in Romeo and Juliet, as well as other roles in Love’s Labours Lost and Henry the Fifth. He was narrator of the film Good Night, Socrates, which won first prize in the Venice Film Festival in 1963. Acting, however, is only one of Richard Sterne’s talents. A musician-composer, he was musical director for the Champlain Shakespeare Festival in Vermont in 1965, and composed some of the music used in Gielgud’s production of Hamlet. Mr. Sterne is now living in New York City with his wife, actress Joann Rose, and was recently in Euripides’ The Bacchants at Lin­coln Center.

We'll barely get to know Sterne through his book at all, which is a shame. He seems like an interesting person - I mean, he hid under a platform for six hours to secretly record two of the biggest stars in the world! Ah well. It's also hard to find information about his post-book life. He's on IMDB and IBDB, but apparently he hasn't done much screen or Broadway work. I did find a page for him on Backstage, with a recent headshot and Off-Broadway and regional credits. Looks like he was acting as recently as February 2020, alternating in the non-singing role of the Coroner in Porgy and Bess at the Metropolitan Opera. In 1982-83 he worked with Eva LeGallienne again in her Broadway revival of Alice in Wonderland, starring Kate Burton - Richard Burton's daughter - as Alice. Here's a photo from that!

He's on the left under that big mask. So here's a photo where you can actually see his face, from a 1982 production of Henry IV, Part 1:

Sterne was interviewed for an article about The Motive and the Cue in April 2023, and as far as I know, he's still alive.

And about the editor, who is not an actor but will always be a theatre kid at heart: Hi, I'm @bewareofitalics, I've decided I'm okay with being perceived! When I'm not sending emails from 1964, I do things like write fanfic, document the Twelfth Night productions I've seen live, make deliberately terrible fandom valentines (I have Emails-relevant plans for this year :D), and recommend (or not) random obscure musicals. As far as I know, I am also still alive.

#emails from an actor

[jemgirl86]

How did you get into sambucky? I've seen so much stuff for it but Im worried. I really liked samsteve, but that was more..balanced? Sam was treated better. I just feel like sam has been used as bucky's therapist since 2014, and Ive seen fics that are just more of that but worse. Or they're just an excuse for bucky to shit on/move on from steve, with sam as a fill-in.

Have you been able to find good fics/authors? The actual sam-centric tag doesn't seem to work out too well, people dont tag right.

Hey, anon! SamSteve did seem more balanced on one hand, on the other hand I did run into instances where it felt like people were using Sam as a placeholder for Bucky. I think because the SamSteve fandom is relatively smaller though, its less overwhelming or something. Like for a minute on SamBucky ao3 every other fic was an offensive hot mess, but SamSteve doesn’t seem that way. I do enjoy a good ol’ SamSteve fic lol.

Listen, I kinda lucked out as far as finding the good side of the SamBucky fandom. I read some fanfic on ao3 and lurked around here for a good long while before I “actively” joined the fandom, and I joined at a good time — pre-TFATWS — before we had a lot of Stucky transplants. There was still some wild stuff, but it wasn’t as bad as it got in the spring of last year.

Anywho, ngl I give a lot of fics a try, because you never know when you’re going to uncover something great, but I only trust a fraction of the authors out there. I can give you some recs of people who have good SamBucky fics that don’t disrespect Sam:

@capnwinghead

@glittercake

@katatonicimpression

@the-lunar-pull

@samwontshare

@siancore

@six2vii

@targaryenmelodrama

There are more that I know I’m forgetting; the names above were just off the top of my head.

#sambucky

[allaganexarch]

going thru my bookmarks trying to think what directors cut to ask for that i havent harassed you into speaking directly into the camera on stream or into replying to an unhinged comment i left with and what ive arrived at is All Falls Down.

OH WOW.

WHAT A FIC LOL.

oh man that was one of those fics that just made me actively insane and I couldn't do anything until I finished it LOL. but that was true of my whole joan ferguson era i was just chronically Unwell about her.

Going off of what I was talking about on a prev ask, I think the only part of that fic that I hate is the end of the last chapter LOL, I feel like I froze up at the culmination and didn’t do a great job with it, and I don’t feel like the tone is right?  I think actually what it is is that the whole fic was so dark and depressing that I wanted to give it a happy ending even though I’m not sure that was what fit with the vibe.  Like the rest of the fic is really dark!  I think the ending is too soft, or soft in the wrong way, and that’s what bothers me about it.

I think I often get into this mindset of wanting my fics to be “worth it” for people who invested in them, especially since I’m such a slow updater, which isn’t a bad thing per se, but I feel that in a lot of things I wrote after, like, the middle-end of The Prisoner I tended to pull a lot of punches, where I personally might have liked to make my work a little darker or harsher, but I was just sort of nervous about the reaction I would get or if I was like “perpetuating harmful narratives” or something LOL.  Stay off the internet kids, people’s terrible takes on fiction can and will rot your brain!

That said, I’m really proud of the rest of the fic—I actually reread it pretty recently!  I think it was actually quite a challenge for me to write at the time, and as a result I really grew from it—as I’ve mentioned already, I think I was really insecure about the direction I wanted to take with the prompt, and especially because a friend had asked me to write it, I felt really nervous about pushing it too far?  But I don’t think I had ever actually made homophobia a major theme/plot point in my work, at least not since I was like, really young, and I think I also imbued a lot of things I personally very deeply related to into parts of the story, which is always, like…  It can be hard to write about things that are really directly personal to you, but it can also come off really well since you have the firsthand experience LOL, so it’s a delicate balance, but I think in this case it mostly came out really well!

You know what’s funny, I feel like now the childhood friend plotline would be like SO in my wheelhouse LOL, I made the choice to create a supporting character who has a limited role and serves a vital narrative function enough times that now I’m like OHOHO hell yeah I can think of a great idea for a little side character like that, easy!  But at the time it was a big challenge for me, and once again I’m not sure how I feel about the culmination I added for that character—I think the intention was to humanize her a little more by giving her some doubt/regret about her choice, but I think I could have given her a lot more nuance generally.

One of my favorite threads in the fic is, like, Joan desperately wanting to be seen and loved and desired the way she is, and not because someone has just decided out of some misguided sense of charity to ignore the things about her that are hard to swallow.  And I think I could have really pushed that a lot farther and gotten more traction out of it.  At least as far as I can recall, Joan comes off fairly noble throughout most of the fic—I think she could have been meaner LOL!

what a fic!!! I still have a lot of fondness for this fic obviously!

Fanfic Writer Director's Cut Ask Game!

#thank you for indulging meeee!!!!!! #exciting tag for answered asks #exciting tag for writing things #personal #fic:all falls down #pcbh #joan ferguson #all joans are good joans #wow it's been awhile since i used that tag!!!

[mitziholder]

apologies for being weird and hogging your inbox like this but i LOVE your thoughts on fandom and i think very few people talk about it in a critical way without completely condemning the entire occupation. in my experience people (not just on this website but in general) tend to take a very black and white view of fandom/fic, probably because it can feel like a very personal thing for many; either they're 'normies' who think all fanworks are 'cringe' or they're the anything goes kind of person. radfems seem to me to be the only ppl who aren't overly defensive of the enterprise but can still enjoy fanworks critically. its nice to see women who aren't like. Fandom Moms talking about these things at length. i think you're one of the few people i've agreed with regarding this subject so far :/ your analyses are very much appreciated and i'd love to read more of what you think (especially regarding the point about navigating trauma). have a good day!

oh and also regarding the whole 'i want women to read better thing' ive always felt this idea that fandom culture is above criticism (or criticising it is inherently misogynistic) is in some ways an extension or at least related to the societal notion that women should be confined to the fluffy feeling aspects of writing and art and aren't as capable of intellectually engaging with things (and of course some 'criticisms' of fan culture ARE misogynistic but i'm not referring to those atm). and obviously there isn't anything inherently WRONG with silly fluff novels or romance (especially romance of course as one can certainly explore that subject in depth and i actually think there's a lack of well written romance out there) but it still feels like a limitation on female growth to normalise women ONLY reading fanfiction or even only certain brands of genre fiction i guess? and i find it sad that so many women seem to almost buy into that idea nowadays or shoot down any sort of criticism with the 'stop shaming female desire' catchphrase. and considering that there is still a dearth of well made original female work for women in pop culture (that act as cultural touchstones in the same way a lot of male works do) it's even more depressing that a lot of fanwork centers men. sorry if this comes off as insufferably pretentious lmao! i'm not even against fanwork i mean this is tumblr i still enjoy things but hopefully you know what i mean lol

like i mean. there's a reason why fanfiction is seen as primarily a female affair (even though a lot of the highly regarded published fanfics are by men. u know the neil gaiman stuff or whatever). its sort of a reassurance that women are 'limited' to writing fanworks. idk. i guess i want women to do better idk if im making any sense

ok, mandatory disclaimer that what I’m describing here is a series of trends, trends I’ve observed within fandom at large including both fanfiction readers/writers and fujos more broadly. obviously, not everyone who reads fanfic or yaoi is a woman (though the vast majority are). obviously, not every woman who reads fanfic or yaoi is a stunted teenager who refuses to engage with any other media. I will also admit that not every fanfic is jimin ABO. I don’t think that fanfic is inherently cringe or low-quality, and there are certainly a lot of respectable published works that have been created with other people’s characters or settings. but, as I’ve said, the vast majority of fanworks in the modern day are essentially pornographic mad libs. I find that disappointing. and there’s no reason it has to be this way… except for all the reasons I’ve outlined in my other posts.

things that are lazy and thoughtless and easy, that provide instant gratification, are generally more popular than things that are difficult or uncomfortable. clearly. but people who denounce all fanfic/fanfic writers and pigeonhole it as low-effort slop are not actually interested in helping the women who write it achieve their fullest potential, because they do not believe those women have any potential. it’s true that some criticisms of fan culture and fanworks are purely misogynistic… but I care about women’s voices, and I do want women to be able to express themselves. I’m not on a quest to stop women from writing or reading fanfic. I’ve been slightly flip about the subject, but truthfully, not everything that is “derivative” is bad, and there’s no reason that fanworks couldn’t be good. it’s just that the culture around them is so intensely sensitive - anti-“shaming” - that women are terrified of saying anything about the level of quality or the potentially harmful nature of most fanfiction because they don’t want to devalue media created by and for other women.

I think that’s a disservice to women as a whole. not everything we write is valuable. I’ve written plenty of crap in the pursuit of getting better - plenty of crap I currently disagree with. and if our work can’t withstand criticism - if we shut down immediately at any hint of a deeper, more unflattering analysis of what’s really going on… then what’s the point? what are we communicating? that female fantasies exist in a compartmentalized bubble far and away from our politics and intellectual pursuits? that we should be able to j/o to rape fantasies without question because it’s not that serious? that the personal is political, except for when it isn’t… and we should all be quiet and let women write whatever they want free of criticism lest we shame them so hard they go into hiding? my standards might be a tad high, but that is setting the bar… dangerously low. it’s also patronizing. since when has “just let women enjoy things!!” ever gotten us anywhere? since when has that been a cornerstone of feminist thought? is that really the best we can do? are we really so fragile?

I’ve seen a glut of posts about how useless and harmful constructive criticism supposedly is. the reasoning is always basically the same:

criticism is mean/toxic/discouraging

maybe I’m too hardened by countless death wishes I got on my old blog, but, in my experience, whenever I have something I want to say or a point I want to make, very little can keep me from doing so. I can’t imagine being so bothered by what random Internet people think. it’s important to remember that being able to determine what criticism is valuable is a skill in itself. disavowing criticism as a whole because some of it is “toxic”/discouraging is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

criticism is pointless; perfection is unattainable

of course nothing is ever going to be perfect. but if that’s your attitude, why bother editing? (rhetorical question. some fanfic authors do post unedited works… just because they can.) hell, why write? why get up in the morning? why make your bed? why try anything new at all? it’s a completely absurd, defeatist attitude. like the first point, it also reeks of intellectual laziness and self-satisfaction.

you could just be nice and say what you liked instead because that’s helpful too

please don’t blow smoke up my ass. in editing, I want to fix things that don’t work and to trim the fat. is it “kind” or “helpful” to let me do something completely stupid because you’re too afraid of embarrassing or offending me to say as much? also, knowing what people like is useful in producing more of what people like - it doesn’t help me do anything new or different. there is nothing less helpful to me than saying “good job!” when I ask you to read my work. it’s certainly nice (as long as you actually read it), but it’s not helpful.

it’s published, the author is through with it, and they don’t want to touch it anymore

I plan to do everything I can to edit and improve my writing before the thing is drawn and published, but I’m sure some flaws will inevitably slip through the cracks. currently, I’m rewriting entire chapters from the beginning because they became incompatible with what I wanted out of the series as it progressed. considering that a lot of people write fanfic on a chapter-by-chapter basis with only a very vague trope-strung outline, I have to wonder why they’re so averse to major overhauls. sure, it’s not pleasant, but don’t you want your writing to be the best that it can be? what is the purpose of uploading it if you don’t want the thing to be responded to as it is, warts and all?

also, not all criticism is limited to the specific work it’s derived from; many things can be extrapolated to future works as well. how are we supposed to correct trends that could lead to a decrease in the quality of future works if we can’t even point them out?

fanfiction is a hobby, and hobbies should be fun

I’m not under the impression that I’ll ever be able to make a living from my writing. I do it as a “hobby” in my spare time simply for the fact that I need an outlet for my thoughts - I need to organize them in some way. writing is an art form that we use to communicate meaning and to make sense of the world around us. your goal as a writer may be to have fun, but it isn’t mine. overgeneralizing and building an entire subculture around the pursuit of mindless fun limits what fanfiction and amateur writing have the potential to be.

you could just go read something else that you like more

actually, no. I don’t like any of it. I’m sorry if saying that is offensive to the 38-year-old she/they whose blog post I grabbed this from. most fanfic is bad. I yearn for the exploration of topics that are categorically not explored in fanfic - because the scope of what fanfic is interested in is constantly narrowing, feeding on itself, like an ouroboros. this problem is only going to get worse over time. why wouldn’t I be bothered? why can’t I say it’s a shame?

mass media and tiktok are worse!

maybe, but so what? at least the majority of people who spend their time watching tiktok videos and bad TV don’t act like it’s a suitable replacement for real literature. and at least there aren’t tiktok compilations being listed on goodreads(?)

anyway, more to the point, fandom is full of technically competent writers. but if they continue to insulate themselves within fandom or fandom-adjacent offshoots, they will never be great writers, because great writing requires tight editing (the elimination of things that are pointless and redundant), syntactic fluency, organizational skills, and, most importantly, an individual voice - an artistic vision - interpreting individual ideas… things that are born of criticism and a diversity of influences that are not present or valued within fandom in its current state. great writing cannot be made in a vacuum. great writers don’t allow themselves to be broken or stifled by criticism they disagree with.

sure, no one has a responsibility to be a great writer, and mediocre writing isn’t a moral failure… but I’m certainly not going to be happy about it, especially when the prevailing attitude is “fanfic is art… but I make what I want for myself and sharing it with you is a privilege and therefore you can’t criticize it!” how boring! how utterly conceited! my god. throwing a temper tantrum because you’re not 100% in control of how others perceive or respond to your creation. put it in a diary and not on a public forum if that bothers you so much… (but then, of course, you couldn’t count kudos.)

I do have a plan to touch on some of my other gripes since you asked so nicely. but this response is, once again, getting too long, and those things have little to do with what I was complaining about here. I’ve got an outline for a post I’ll develop and publish later as a final note on this convo, since at that point I really will have said all that I have to say… thanks again for writing in :-)

#ask #i'm being flip again. there are a few fanfictions that i've enjoyed #but they were gen + about female characters (EXTREME RARITY LOOOL)