#so i know it’s not gonna hurt too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

androidboy · 7 months

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Feel free to tell me to fuck off but I just wanted to say that I hope you find peace and happiness. Relationships with PTSD and disabilities are so complicated and I understand worrying that you might never find a sense of comfort or safety with another person again. It's not my place to offer advice, but I just wanted you to know that I get it and I'm silently hoping that you find a way to navigate this that's healthy for you, whatever that means. Again, sorry if this is weird from some rando on the internet

no i appreciate it ❤️ i decided that when she gets back i tell her (in a way nicer way than this) that she sucks at open relationships and i need to feel like i’m on steady ground and i’d like her to be a part of that but we either go exclusive or break up

like literally since ive made up my mind about this my head has felt so much clearer. i am already kinda mourning the relationship tho like i wish i could see us moving forward bc there’s so many things i still want to experience with her but the way we’ve nosedived i don’t think it’s gonna happen

#side note before my side note: i consider u an inner circle mutual feel free to interact whenever #PTSD WITH RELATIONSHIPS FUCKIN!! SUCKS!!!!!!!!#already spent the month starting to emotionally detach from her #so i know it’s not gonna hurt too much #but it’s still gonna suck 😞#but i’m kinda having a taste of the single life with her being gone and ive got so much more social safety net than i had before we met #so i know im gonna be ok #this is gonna be the first time i make her be definite about something #like no gray area we either are or we aren’t #ask #gitli

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yuwuta · 5 days

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yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always.

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you?#gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway.............#somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing......#this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now....#juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months

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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.

#cw gore #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #chip jrwi #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE #CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I #EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND #AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY #YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN #THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN #CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION #bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN #AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT #better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible #i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!

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sharkdays · 4 months

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"That despite having experienced inhuman suffering, she has nonetheless been able to gain the strength to face life."

#collei #genshin impact #gi #erm. hi #something not pokemon related for once? shocker i know #anywas this was a collei piece i did a while ago that i never finished #been having Emotions abt her recently and i wanted to share even if it's a little messy...#anyways. she makes me insane.#also yes the flowers have meanings it was Intentional. however my drawing skills for nature and memory are both not all there so.#take it as you will #anyways collei i love you girl...#shes a physical manifestation of death and rebirth she's resurrection do YOU SEE MY VISION #also i miss you short haired collei but her hairstyle rn is cute too...#my collei design in my head has changed so much lmao. i tried making her a little more matching to how she is in my head now #thinking abt her growth and learning as a form of defiance. reclaiming her life....#she refused to die!!!!! and now she's hurting but alive!!! im gonna pass out dont look at me.#i am not nearly as good as putting my thoughts into words as some other collei enthusiasts so Just Trust Me #shark's scribbles

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a-s-levynn · 4 months

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"Too many swallowed keys / Will make you bleed internally someday" A Series of Small Offerings - III/5 - day26

#a series of small offerings #sleep token fanart #look there was an idea.. it's uncertain how good it was but it was there #remember how i said i probably not gonna use colour again? yeah about that..#but it made sense here #shading wise i absolutely wanted to go for someting completely flat to let the red pop even more #and i wanted to go quite literal on this line because this is probably one of my favourites of the 'not so subtle metaphors' in ST lyrics #like.. you know #when you pack shit up? when something that hurts you bad you just take it. put it in a proverbial box. lock it and basically swallow it #so you don't have to deal with it.. you are fine so you can go on? and after a while there is just far too much?#and it just festers and hurts and gets worse by the minute #yeah..#talk about relatable sleep token lyrics #sleep token #vessel #vessel i #vessel fanart #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to draw

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 1 month

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thinking about whether or not FL sheds his fluff

imagine its summer and after a long day of dealing with whatever crap goes down in their workplace while having to deal with the ridiculously high temperatures, reader just wants to cuddle with their beastly lover (who just so happens to be covered in 90% metal and would definitely feel cool to the touch) but as soon as they step into their house, they realise something. There is purple fluff on almost every surface of the house and not a few seconds later did the culprit come sprinting towards the reader, bringing them into a hug, delighted to see them after a long day. Reader reaches to pet FL’s fluff only to watch it fall out with the single light touch. At first they immediately retract their hand afraid that FL has contracted some sort of illness that causes hair (fluff?) loss. FL looks at reader questioningly, wondering why they aren’t giving him his usual pets. Reader tells FL to put them down and as soon as their feet touch the ground, they are booking it out of the house and back into the city to look for Zhongli. After finding the man, they explain the situation and Zhongli laughs, telling them that FL is simply shedding his fur to cope with the hotter weather recently. With this the reader lets out as sigh of relief and heads back hime just to find FL pouting, thinking that reader had abandoned him. Reader then apologises to him and exxplains what happened and the situation is then cleared up.

(Imagine reader collecting the fur and using it for some art project)

-Sleepy anon

sleepy anon, i LOVE the way your mind works

Foul Legacy immediately starts purring and nudging himself against you, getting soft purple fuzz all over your clothes- can you scritch him, please? it's scratchy! he shakes his head slightly and even more tufts of it fall out and drift onto the floor, and you just let out a single long sigh, opening the closet to fetch your broom. the next one to two hours are spent gathering every single bit of fluff that you can find, sweeping it off the floor and tables and random corners of your house- how it got on top of the bookcase of all things, you'll never know- and finally sitting Legacy down and giving his fur and hair a thorough brushing for good measure, clouds of lilac fur clinging to the comb and a very happy purring Abyss creature tilting his head this way and that so you get all the right areas. it takes until nightfall, and you're exhausted afterwards, but finally your house is clean and Legacy has shed all that excess fur, the ruff around his shoulders looking smaller but more manageable and Legacy looking very comfy and pleased with himself

so now you're left with a large bag of shed Abyss monster fur- what do you do with it?

well, the obvious answer is to make it into yarn and knit. not that you really need anything knitted right now, given the temperature and all, but it'll be nice once winter comes around again. you have enough Foul Legacy fluff to knit a few scarves, so the first one you make goes to none other than Legacy himself, who quickly wraps it around his neck with a delighted trill, cooing at the familiar texture and scent. he insists that you make a matching one for yourself- that way everyone knows that you're his and he's yours! the last one goes to Zhongli, who smiles warmly as he picks it up and asks what the material is. without missing a beat you just point at Legacy's fur, and have to bite your tongue to keep from wheezing when Zhongli snorts a laugh into his teacup

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impala-dreamer · 3 months

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is this too romantic? am I going too far? is there any other way to write romance than all in, all encompassing, perfectly magical? no. this is fine.

#talking to myself as i write #it's so flufffffyyyyyy #i should write romcoms i'd really be great at it #except someone would inexpicably die or get shot out of nowhere #and then ya know #“dying in the rain talking about theology”#classic me #also fuck you bc theres so much i cant share anymore #because you took it all away #why am i rambling in the tags agani #no one reads anyway #so screw you you hurt me #but im not going anywhere #i'm gonna stay here and write this stupid fluffy romanctic shit #and love it #and then i'll write my dean and jensen and misha #and i will love that too #and someday i won't be so sad or indifferently angry at you #and maybe i'll get back to writing what i used to but cant now bc you took it from me #i should delete this but honestly no #i'm not goinig to #now im just curious to how manyt ags i can have #someone count this i cant math #anyway whatever #writing #henry cavill #whatttttttt

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opikiquu · 29 days

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.Aventurine. Aventurine. Boy wh y

#★ arin rambles #★ my art #my best friend finished aventurines boss in 1 try #(i was stuck so i never knew what happened after)#wish she never did #im filled with so much sorrow #THE NOTE. THE NOTE THE NOTE THE NOTE #HE. CARES HE CARES SO M #IM DOOMED #IM TOO LITTLE FOR ALL THIS SADNESS #SO MUCH . TEARS . TOO MANY SAD. WHY. WHYYY MEEEE #The note……… Im never ever gonna drop this ever #Aventurine’s story will haunt me forever #(affectionately)#so good….. but like in a painful way. Like ive been crying for 3 days now #today was the worst offense. MY HEAD HURTS STILL #SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE CALLED escape penacony obby!#ill stop rambling now . I need . Rest. Or a ratiorine overdose whichever i find first #i hope my best friends dont see these tags they’ll think im pathetic #And i am. But nobody has to know that #THE NOTE— Okay fine ill stop ILL STOP #hsr penacony spoilers #hsr penacony #penacony #dr ratio x aventurine #dr ratio #aventurine x dr ratio #aventio #ratiorine #hsr aventurine

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kennyomegasweave · 2 months

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Playboyy Speculation

I think Zouey got raped or, at the very least, had an extremely violent encounter with someone and Nant found out. I don't know if he just found out or if Zouey told all of his friends, but I think Nant knew someone severely hurt his best friend and I think that played a MAJOR role in his disappearance. That's why Zouey seems sketch and like he's hiding something. Because he IS hiding his secret that may have played a part in Nant dying how he did, but he didn't actually have anything to do with it.

I won't pretend I like Zouey or that I haven't been suspicious of him, but I really don't think he killed Nant or is even directly connected to his disappearance. I also don't think Nant was the one to hurt him since he was genuinely so happy when Nont showed up pretending to be Nant.

I just think while Nant was burning his whole life down with drugs something really bad happened to Zouey. I think Nant thought it was connected (and it probably was) to the shitty people he was around and it set this entire thing in motion. Which is why Zouey was so desperate to find Nant, then so happy when Nont showed up pretending to be him, became almost as obsessed with Nont in finding Nant, is currently almost as obsessed as Nont about finding out why Nant died, and seemed terrified for Teena to look at whatever painting was under the tarp in his studio.

I just think Nant dying is connected to Zouey's sexual trauma and he obviously feels extremely guilty about it, even though I don't think he did anything wrong.

#playboyy #playboyy the series #I am not a Zouey fan but I don't think he's some evil mastermind #that took Nant down or whatever #I think he's a traumatized 19 year old who's best friend disappeared and later died #possibly trying to figure out or expose whoever hurt him #which obviously has traumatized him even more #and that's why he's fighting so much with his friends who do admittedly suck #but he very clearly didn't have any issues with them before #I don't know how his story's gonna end up since I have no idea how any of this is gonna end up #but I'm pretty confident in this #but watch me get proven wrong and look foolish #I was already Team That Motherfucker Back There Isn't Real about Nant and Nont being the same person #so I'm cool if I'm wrong about this too lol #regular clyde

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spaceratprodigy · 2 months

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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤

I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main #so much has happened in these past 10 years #I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future #but I did and I do #I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible #I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return #I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself #I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better #I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like #I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of #I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over #I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder #I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive #and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person #I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore #I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly #he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do #god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me #you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you #it's always been you #I fucking love you #more than anything in this universe and the next #forever and always #my art #glad I listened to my first tag lmao

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gunpowder-gemini · 1 month

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FINALLY have wrestled my brain into sitting down and watching Good Omens and it is, in fact, very good!! Incredibly good!! Absolutely in love with it ♥️♥️♥️

It does, however, hurt terribly

#as a queer with hella religious trauma fucking OW ��😭😭#Aziraphale is exactly who I used to be #and Crowly is so much like who I am now #'I only ever asked questions' yeah me too 😭#i really thought i'd kinda made peace with my religious trauma but it turns out i very much have not 🙃🙃🙃🙃#i'm like 2 eps into season 2 currently but i do know generally what happens and I DO know how it ends #and it breaks my fucking heart bc I'm going to be so upset with Aziraphale but I'm gonna understand him better than I want to #bc fuck if I didn't think I could fix heaven once #i really hope that when that line of thinking comes crashing down around him spectacularly #it doesn't do so in a way that kills any hope and makes him act apathetic as a defense mechanism to pretend it doesn't hurt #bc Crowley and I are already here and I want Aziraphale to avoid that #and it sucks and Aziraphale is too good to end up like this I want him to be ok 🥺#Crowley was too good to end up like this too but he's already here so I just hope he can heal better than I apparently haven't #idk I'm in love with this show and these middle-aged gay men but I'm also incredibly fucking triggered lmao #like ow mr gaiman good job but also kinda fuck you but also please I'm trusting you to give this a good end

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supercantaloupe · 6 months

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@widevibratobitch @verdiesque

can y'all either @ me or block me already this is getting exhausting

#sasha speaks #if you get upset about other people 'vagueing' you then perhaps try not doing it yourselves. use those spines of yours #here's the thing i don't even really care all that much about who wins or loses the polls #what i have an issue with is the attitude i see of 'we're better because we like these operas not those ones'#and 'this opera is objectively better than that one' when that wasn't even the point of the bracket #(it's 'preference' not 'objective quality' if such a thing can even be measured)#and the attitude of derision and meanness towards people for expressing hurt feelings towards your behavior #i don't have anything against verdi himself or his body of work as a whole really. in fact i would love to know what other people #see and love so much in his work. maybe i could see it then too #but i can only stand to have that conversation with someone who's demonstrated that they'll respect me for disagreeing #and i really have not seen that so far. for the most part notes i've seen from you just read as cliquey and self aggrandizing #or really moreover just. unpleasant.#but by all means prove me wrong. if you're willing to chat i'm all ears. but only if you're gonna be respectful #otherwise just block me already please. don't mock me.

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yashley · 1 year

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imogen & fearne in 3x48

#critical role #ygifs #imogen x fearne #imogearne #MUCH to study much to think about much to pine hopelessly for which above all is what I'm gonna do no matter what #from imogen quietly Confronting fearne's parents to fearne quietly Confronting imogen's dad hmmmmM ok im cool #fearne treading carefully through imogen's old life and leaving quiet acts of tenderness ok no yea ok #fearne seeing imogen's beloved horse she's heard so much about and taking the time and ribbons to braid her mane okay..#the dumb excitement they hype in eachother the gestures they keep naturally making only to just. pull back #is it hearing ''that's why I liked her'' and fearne looking to imogen or is it fearne out of nowhere being like no I’m gonna BOW to imogen..#is it fearne Seeing imogen in great pain and Wanting there to be an openness while imogen still smiles and says she’s fine #and it's like deep emotions are New to fearne and yet she still tries to reach out to imogen and imogen being so hurt just smiles #and it's like fearne Knows without Knowing because she feels all too well about being Fine and Smiling #me takin one of those reflex checkers and gently taps this gifset like I hear something there's something in there . .. . . .

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ashleyeveerson · 1 year

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hiiiii dr who fandom *crawls from under a nest of blankets after binge-watching season 5*, how's it going?

so yes, I've recently discovered this show (i am a bit late to the party) and have a LOT of thoughts about a LOT of characters

would really appreciate some mutuals who are equally as deranged about this show as i am

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ritz-writes · 6 months

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every now and again ill remember seeing the good omens 2 finale for the first time. i remember getting to episode 5 and going "they wont kiss. i want them to, but they wont. but even if i think theres a chance im still gonna say they wont cuz then ill be excited when they do"

then we got to those last 10 mintues of episode 6. and my heart was shattering and i was crying and i was so so hurt. and then i hear "we could have been us." and i thought this is it. hes gonna leave or aziraphale is gonna try and fix this. one of those. this is the finale. here we go

and then i hear the music

god the fucking music. aziraphale looks away, crowley starts to step forward, and the music swells. and ive watched enough media to know what that means, what that entails

and im thinking "no. its not possible." and then crowley is moving forward and im think "is this actually happening? are we actually getting this?" and then im thinking "wait, not like this, please, not like this."

and then they kiss. and i literally scream. im excited im happy im hurt im aching im grieving im celebrating. they kissed!! they kissed!!!

and then they pull away and i see aziraphales expression and i can say is

"we got it, but at what cost"

i think about this a lot

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angel-of-sweet-revenge · 5 days

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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