#so is it actually me and my fault or is it because im autistic and people just do this to us for some reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soullessjack · 6 months

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it’s rlly interesting to me that so many villains try to manipulate jack by saying that they’re just trying to control him or that they taught him to fear his powers and that he’s only kept in the bunker as a prison to protect the world basically , and pretty much every time he either ignores it & doesn’t respond . but he also doesn’t outwardly disagree (Duma asked if they’d taught him to fear his powers and he fucking shrugs ) and on one hand

> it’s crazy how often the writers will try and hint at their dynamic being kind of fucked up or question if it’s still on a “you only care about what he can do for you” basis — like when jacks own psychotic hallucination insisted that he was only ever their pet monster weapon muscle whose only value came from being useful — only to never go anywhere with it, never have jack actually take that question into consideration

but on the other if we’re assuming that jack is like wordlessly agreeing that he is in fact being contained and controlled and isolated from the world as a safety precaution by the people he explicitly views as both his fathers and his friends? and that he’s supposedly just okay with all of that ?? because he knows that he’s legitimately dangerous? what am I supposed to do with this? what were the writers trying to do with it??? why didn’t they actually do something with it?

#questions I ask every single day because I am autistic and neurologically bonded to jack in ways that cannot be understood #spn #jack kline #sam and dean #castiel #tfw2.0 #team free will 2.0 #Jack’s self awareness of just how destructive he can be is something we do not talk about ever #remember the last holiday draft of him and dean in the dungeon #/ jack: ‘this is my fault.’ dean: ‘what?’ [dean turns. seeing jack is having a moment]#/ jack: ‘THIS. maybe she’s right. what if I lose my soul again. or…lose control…or—’#/ dean: ‘hey. stop okay. just stop. you’re not going to lose control.’#/ jack: ‘I’ve done it before. since then nothings been the same. you…sam…’#LIKE ????#I am so fucking crazy right now it’s all making me crazy #why did they get rid of that. why did they get rid of jack actually expressing that he is in fact afraid of causing more damage again #WHY DO THEY GET RID OF EVERYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE HIM MORE INTERESTING IM GONNA PUKE BLOOD #anyways :3c #I need to bite something

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bluejaybytes · 7 months

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listen. listen to me. aloy is autistic and this actively makes the narrative better. i know this to be true. in my heart. i have been right about many a things about her and i know im right about this one too. i have actual real thoughts on this and like actual Literary Analysis(tm) and all that. but beyond that i also simply Know

#listen. listen. look me in the eyes and tell me hyperempathy to a fault is not Literally A Major Character Trait of Aloys.#i know we'll never get outright confirmation (<guy who also said this about her being gay) but like cmonnnn i know its there #i know the difference between when im seeing something because i want to and when theres actual substance there #I can also talk a length about how I feel an autistic reading of Control really works - but i dont think that was written intentionally #nor do i think it really lines up without intentionally reading the subtext like that #BUT I don't think that's the case with Aloy!! i dont!#Not to mention they've SHOWN theyre willing to write and acknowledge autistic people (and i love Boomer and feel she was done well)#so I'm not out of line saying that I feel there is SOMETHING of substance to Aloy being autistic #i could keep going (god KNOWS i could keep going - i havent even cited my main points of evidence)#but alas. i do not have the guts to actually blorbopost on main myself that often

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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wibta if I told my best friend they can no longer move in with my family next year?

Me (17f) and my friend (17) have been friends for about 5 years. Around 6 months ago we were discussing university and they mentioned they wanted to study at the university that is in my city. We discussed them potentially moving into my house while they study here. They would still be paying rent, it would just be a bit cheaper for them and we would get to live together. I discussed this with my parents and after a while they said yes.

The problem is recently I haven't actually been feeling very supported or understood by my friend. This feeling kinda started when I expressed doubt about being able to succeed in the career I have been working towards because my mental health is shit and idk if I can deal with the pressure involved, and they said that they were glad I reached this conclusion myself because they didn't think I could do it either. Which kinda hurt yk like they were correct and I have switched plans as of now, but I feel they couldve been nicer. Other than that I feel like neither of have done anything wrong I just think this is an aging thing, we're no longer 13 and have changed in similar ways, but I've begun to realise the way we see the world is vastly different. Also we recently keep getting into petty arguments, which is kinda my fault bc im autistic and have very strong opinions and never know when to shut up, but they're also like that we're both just very stubborn and opinionated people. Basically I feel the friendship isn't as strong as it once was and I don't like the idea of having to live with them during uni (also dont really like the idea of living with anyone tbh I fucking hate socialising and want to live alone).

I feel like it's important to mention that although them living with me is cheaper, their family is financially very stable so they could comfortably afford to live in the uni halls or some apartment. Telling them they can't live with me wouldn't be financially that bad, its more so that I said they could and I feel that going back on my word might be quite cruel?

Also recentlyish we've been making plans of living together and buying a house etc and yeah basically a lot of commitments have been made at a young age and I feel quite trapped. Also feels relevant to add that this feeling is definitely not mutual and they have no idea I feel this way, I'm 99% sure they are still very eager to go through with all this. I'm generally quite a communicative person, it's just these are all pretty new feelings and I'm not sure exactly what I feel.

Also sorry another thing that's probably relevant, they're aroace and our relationship idk what it is but I think it kinda goes deeper than the average friendship its kinda like a qpr but not lol.

So yeah wibta if I told them they couldn't live in my house for uni and should find somewhere else?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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pompadorbz · 2 months

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q!phil is fascinating to me because when like. removed from the fuckin. qsmp universe itself phil is just being a goofy guy. a silly jokester. The smiling grinner knows the world's its dinner. but if you like. read everything he does as being a part of qsmp's story and universe he. suddenly and completely unintentionally becomes. me. the most autistic creature to ever live. like how do you handle a situation that is actually dead serious? how do you. tell the difference between a serious loss and a bit if death and injury typically harbors no consequence for the person you just lost? how do you comfort a person in ways that aren't just giving them stuff to keep their mind off of their troubles? what if they don't feel like talking right now? What if telling them that the problem can be fixed isn't enough? am I supposed to be the one comforting them? Idk how to do that! I wasn't given the handbook on the way in! I thought you were supposed to tell me your problems so that I can occasionally nod and say stuff like "man that sucks so bad, im sorry"! You guys can sit cramped and yell on the duck cart in the tunnel of love all you want im gonna sit on the grass instead is that cool. I'm gonna lag behind and appear late at every event because I wanna take things slowly here is that fine. And again. totally unintentional ofc so I can't get entirely mad when people make posts that are of the vain of: "Damn! Get a grip q!phil!" or whatever. Like I'm just seeing something that reminds me of. me. If other people don't see it then thats not a fault of them but like. It just kinda gut-punch kick-to-the-throat reminds me of how I've lived literally every day of my life. a bit. yknow? and idc if thats a bit of a goofy reading cuz like. its mine. also this is. my blog. heart.

#syd spiels qsmp #qsmp #q!phil #q!philza #also if you made one of those posts just hghggjh.;;; please dont view it as a personal attack i prommy it is not #i just saw a . lot of it today and it got me thinkin about this more heart

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k4katsujin · 10 months

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did you take your meds, doll? || hobie in love with a neurodivergent s/o

ayayayaya 🕺🏻🕺🏻 im in a silly mood rn so have those silly headcanons 🕺🏻

have these since his ai told me he was autistic (i js knew it) (mf said i looked autistic too) (i thought i was good at masking) (damn)

also this is not only adhd and autism related because ima explode

he's the one who told you you should get a diagnosis

he made research for himself but actually realized what he found fit you more

he was direct about this like he straight told you

"doll? come here i have to tell you something. i think you might be autistic."

if you're not familiar with neurodivergencies he'd explain you what it means, most of the symptoms and he'd always tell you it's ok and he loves you no matter what

"if you want i can go to your autism assessment with you? don't worry it'll all be fine"

he'd probably hold your hand thinking you were scared

he'd help you remembering taking your meds !!!

"doll? i know you don't really want to but it's time to take your medicine. we can cuddle and do some coloring books after?"

if you're age regressing he would give you sweets and plushies and he'd cuddle with you

"in little space again huh? let me take care of you" and he'd probably help you shower

i don't know if age regression is a neurodivergency in itself but i just wanted the post to include it so <3

if you're borderline he'd try his best to understand why it happened (let's not forget it's an irreversible chemical imbalance in your brain often caused by trauma) and he'd always make you feel valid

"it's not your fault. i know things are hard to deal with rn but you are not alone in this"

i feel like he's a borderline too

if you have adhd he'd love when you're hyper with him, it makes him feel safe and he'd be hyper with you too

if you're depressed he'd always listen to you and help you taking care of yourself

im sorry this is kinda short and rushed- BUT ayayayayayaya 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

i love hobie sm help

PLS IM SO DUMB NOT ME WONDERING WHY THIS HAD 0 LIKES WHILE IT STAED IN MY DRAFTS I-

#atsv hobie #hobie x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown fanfiction #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #spiderman atsv #spiderman across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv x reader #gender neutral reader #across the spider verse #spider man: across the spider verse #hobie spiderverse #hobie brown x y/n

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bobafett51 · 5 months

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I was denied reasonable accommodations because I applied for them too late. It’s not my fault I didn’t get my diagnosis until recently but apparently it was too late to get reasonable accommodations. It gets really frustrating and tiring, living in a system that isn’t built for almost all of your identities. Other than my gender and able-bodiedness, I have to explain and fight for all of my identities everywhere I go in mainstream society. And my other identities interact with my gender and able-bodiedness in negative ways. My ethnicity and muscular build make people assume I’m a gangmember. My autistic brain, already struggling with social cues, has to factor in the non-verbal communication my outfit, walk, and stimming and other mannerisms convey to actual gangmembers and police officers. Lest I get harassed, beat, or worse by them. When I’m in the club I have to worry about the way I dance for the same reason. I also have to worry about the times I get overstimulated at the club or go non-verbal. People at the club, and even other contexts, often assume consent to very sexual touching. Often it’s this touching that sends me over the edge into non-verbalness or overstimulation. And because they assume consent it means they keep going and because I’m non-verbal/overstimulated I’m unable to really do or say anything. And because Im a muscular, able bodied latino man I’m expected to be able to advocate for myself and the assumption is that this is what I want and wanted. Even when it’s not. It just becomes all so traumatic, isolating, and for some reason I don’t fully understand yet, it’s mostly just tiring. Sometimes I wish these things didn’t happen, that I was born different, that i didn’t have to go through the trauma and tribulations that I have had to go through. But despite that, I have come to mostly respect, appreciate and be grateful for these things that I used to wish never happened. Stephen Colbert once said, “what punishments of god are not gifts?” Everybody suffers and is hurt. In those times of hurt we like to hear from other people that we’re not alone; that other people have suffered similarly. We can form the strongest bonds with the people who have gone through similar traumas by talking and expressing ourselves to eachother. Because of these experiences, I am able to do that with so many people. I’ve been able to be there for my friends, countless of them, in their times of need at every stage of my life because I could empathize with them so well. I have been blessed to be able to share my stories of trauma and healing with other people. Little else makes me happier than hearing a family member or a friend telling me about a time I was there for them during one of their hard times. Some gifts require a lot of work and hardship to be able to receive. Connecting on that level is one of them. That’s why “I have come to love the things that I once wished had not happened.”

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m-a-n-g-o-m-i · 2 months

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cw// suicide/ self harm mentions

Just wanted to announce for my like 8 followers that I will be taking a possibly permanent break from this site. Really I just can’t handle it and I know it’s mostly my fault but I also want people to be aware of the effects that ur discourse has on people. I saw a post about how transandrophobia truthers should kill themselves to rid the world of their disgusting presence yesterday and well, I wanted to take that advice but I chickened out and now I just have bruises. I’m sorry. I don’t want this to come off as a guilt trip, and I know some people reading this might think I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and this is nothing compared to the harassment transfems face. Maybe that’s true, and I know it’s a little ridiculous to self harm so dramatically over things people say online, but you know, i really believed them. I wanted to do the right thing, and I mean it.

I guess I just latched onto the word transandrophobia because I thought it described the way I could be assaulted for being a woman in other people’s eyes, and then be told to shut up about it, because I’m a man, after all. I thought it worked well to explain how I could be targeted by the sort of fetishization people put on Asian women, while simultaneously being seen as predatory for being masculine. And while I’m fine to stop using the word “transandrophobia”, I will never stop believing that my experiences exist at some legitimate intersection. I don’t know what it is yet exactly. I’m sorry that I don’t have a better grasp on all this. But because I can’t stop believing in the things I’ve experienced, i guess I’ll always be some sort of “truther,” to some people. And I know it’s wrong to be this— don’t think I don’t feel any shame over it! But I’ve tried to drive out those thoughts before, and they just crept back and back, whenever my back was turned. I cannot get rid of them. I’m not very connected to the big accounts posting about this stuff, so I think I also just don’t really comprehend the situation with harassment and everything that lead people to tell others to kill themselves. However, I do think that if you tell people to end their lives, you should be prepared for some of them to do it, legitimately. Maybe that was the intention all along, and this post doesn’t mean a lot, then. But I prefer to believe that people don’t actually want a lot of their fellow trans people dead.

I’m sorry, genuinely. I saw a different post last week that said we should drive transandrodorks out of every irl queer space until they realize they’re all alone, forever. Well, the people I know irl haven’t driven me out yet, and maybe it’s shitty of me, but I’m going to keep hanging around them until they stop wanting to be around me anymore. They love me so far and selfishly I hope it continues like that. Im sorry, genuinely, but I don’t want to leave. They make me feel like it’s a beautiful thing that I exist. I hope I get to live like that for a long time. They’re also telling me to get off this website so I might not see responses to this post.

You can reblog this if you want, even though it’s very personal. I hope people realize I’m being real with this. I don’t fully understand this discourse and this post will probably reflect that— I’m really not trying to play into a particular narrative. I’m very autistic and take things people say very seriously by default. I just want people to understand how it feels. Thank you for reading this all.

#transandrophobia

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autisticlee · 1 month

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sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.

#lee rambles #just feeling that autistic lonliness and disconnection strongly today so heres vague rambly nonsense #autistic #autism things #actually autistic #dont know how to truly connect to people. or be part of society in a way that benefits living. people dont seem to try #nor do they want to help. they just act like and assume im the one not trying. im trying way harder than they ever will.#i need some patients and accommodation and understanding. needs and boundaries need met and respected. i never get those.#no one tries to connect with me. i have to do all the work but dont have ability to. but im expected to. since i cant its my fault.#so i stay on the outside looking in. begging for the door to be unlocked. while they stare through window laughing #and blaming me for not walking through a solid wall because they dont unlock the door fkr others so why would they do it for me #ahhh. idk what im talking about. need to do mamy things but think brain dissociating. idk who i am right now i could be anyone #patience* typed wrong word. cant move tags in right place on phone anymore

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raisinchallah · 9 days

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you know the post that had me the most oh my god maybe im not autistic this is insane was this video where this guy was like acting out a fake dialogue with a neurotypical person who was annoyed that he was overexplaining things and hes like well ur not doing it right and like saying just full stop its the neurotypical persons fault for being annoyed at being told how to do stuff because they were unenlightened to the correct way and like seemingly not able to understand this would annoy someone and everyone in the comments was wholeheartedly agreeing wishing everyone was super normal about being told how to do stuff which is so wild to me cuz i get like the overexplaining thing and i know it often is not like malice or critique but literally how are u not driven up a wall because its like immovable object vs immovable object like this conflict would be worse with two autistic people tbh this isnt a neurotypical thing no force on earth greater than an autistic person and their specific routine like dont tell me this is wrong dont tell me what to do explodes u with eye lasers like akfkakkf im very familiar with this type of conflict my last job i had a coworker literally nicest dude in the world but was soooo particular about how stuff was done like more stringent than our managers telling me to only shake the noodles dry with a specific hand grip type stuff and again he meant zero malice and was just trying to help me and train me but i literally felt like i was clawing the fucking walls like um dont break my routine and like again i get the impulse i do i was like mentally feeling like noo how could u be doing it wrong (different from me) when working with my less experienced coworker and like i get the insane micromanager thing lol my autistic dad also hates being told what to do but will try to offer wayyy too much help and advice and corrections to the point u cant do it urself and i think i was just like so fascinated and appalled that like i fully get people being like of course my overexplaining is just helpful and kind cuz thats how its taken but having zero idea of the reverse of being on the other end of someone telling u how to do stuff but theyre wrong about it or simply different being literally the worst thing in the entire world the systems the rules the order comes crashing down and somehow instead everyones like yeah neurotypicals just gotta get it together and listen to our advice and im like no actually wheres the rights for people who are particular freaks to a degree they cant stand being told what to do in a different manner like how do u not suffer with this all the time if u have such strong opinions

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rainbowsky · 9 months

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Ok I am the turtle who asked about the breakup cpn, with the kadien and things. I have been told that is rude and hurtful and im sorry Mr Rbs, I do not want to cause you stress. I follow cuz I am autistic and I like that you are too but autistics still rub each others fur the wrong way sometimes just like anybody so im sorry if I did that. Have a great day and stay healthy and may YiZhan stay happily married and one day get to safely come out if they want!

...

I don't even know what to say to this.

Who told you that it was 'rude' and 'hurtful'? It certainly wasn't me. I don't have a problem with people asking me honest questions that are in good faith. I answer all kinds of asks, regardless of my reaction to them.

I'm sure whoever said that to you meant well, but I don't want anyone putting words in my mouth. Whatever they said to you, that was their own perspective.

As for your ask, it actually did annoy me a bit, but not because there was anything rude or hurtful about it. I was annoyed because it contained things that are long-standing sources of annoyance for me (which isn't your fault).

First of all, you said "I know you don't believe kadian" which - honestly I've heard people say this before and I find it frustrating. I literally have a whole post that is prominently placed on my masterlist post, where I state pretty clearly that kadian is real. So when people say things like this it feels like they aren't paying any attention and are just making assumptions about me, or else they have poor reading comprehension.

I'm going to be really clear about this:

Being skeptical is not the same thing as being dismissive.

I am skeptical about a lot of candy and CPN, but that doesn't mean I don't buy candy and CPN. It just means that the candy and CPN I do buy is stuff I genuinely believe in - not because it's cute or makes me feel good (nothing wrong with that, but it's not what gets me excited), but rather because I've evaluated it and I feel (based on my own criteria) that it's well substantiated and real.

Contrary to another popular myth about me that also frustrates me (the ridiculous idea that I don't buy CPN and candy) - a huge percentage of my blog is devoted to CPN and candy, and in fact I think CPN and candy are pretty critical to turtledom.

I say this all the time and I hope it will sink in: it's never wise to paint with too broad a brush. Nuance, people. Not everything is black and white. Most things are grey. Just because I seem like a doubter on a lot of things, doesn't mean I don't have my own CPN, and doesn't mean I don't hold a lot of candy close to my heart, much of which I think is important and unwashable.

It seems like some people see a personality trait in someone and then try to extrapolate it across everything about them. Not only is it inaccurate, frankly it betrays a certain level of intellectual laziness. "Oh, here's the funny guy, everything's a joke to him." "Oh, here's the serious guy, he has no sense of humor." "Oh, here's the cutesy girl, she won't like this scary movie."

People are complex and often contradictory creatures. We shouldn't assume we have a read on someone just because we've picked up on a few of their character traits.

As for kadian - in my post about kadian I went to some pains to show that kadian is real, so I don't get why there's anyone out there who would think I don't 'believe' in it. In reality I think people who don't 'believe' in kadian as a concept are uninformed and out of touch. 'Not believing' in kadian would be like 'not believing' in slang acronyms like LOL and OMG.

Back to that 'broad brush' thing I just said - just because kadian is real, that doesn't mean a particular perceived kadian is real and intentionally placed. These things have to be examined in context in order to be properly evaluated.

You can refer back to my kadian post for all that.

On to the other, bigger reason your ask frustrated me.

Just Say No To The Turtle Binary

Your ask was about a 'kadian' you thought you saw in DD's post about being sick, and you felt it was evidence of a breakup.

Without realizing it, you stepped into something that bugs me about the fandom.

If you've been following me for any amount of time at all, you will know that one of my absolute pet peeves in this fandom is when turtles take everything GG and DD say or do as being deeply significant to their relationship. As I've said before -

👉🏻 almost nothing from or about GG or DD will actually be a candy. 👈🏻

I think the key to respecting and honoring their humanity is to love them as individuals first and foremost, and as a couple second. When we fixate entirely on their relationship we end up accidentally dehumanizing them and failing to recognize, respect and celebrate their individual achievements.

There are a lot of turtles in this fandom who take every single thing GG and DD do as either proof they are together, or else proof they are not together. And frankly, that doesn't make any rational sense.

If you've ever been in a long term relationship - or a relationship of any kind, whether family or friends - you should already know that almost nothing in our daily lives is about that relationship. Our day-to-day lives tend to revolve around work, school, hobbies and interests, other social interests and obligations. Almost nothing we do in our day to day lives is about any one particular relationship.

Just look at my own blog here. How often do I mention my partner? Almost never. But we've been married for years, and he's the most important person in my life. Why don't I mention him more? Because my life doesn't revolve around him.

GG and DD are no different. They are real, non-fictional human beings with busy lives and successful careers, and they have a ton of obligations and focuses and pursuits in their daily lives. Almost none of it is about each other. Why, then, would people be so ready to think that every post, every gesture, every clothing option, every decision, every goal is about each other?

Not only is that absurd just on the face of it, it's also absurd when you consider that the vast majority of things that ARE related to their relationship will never be made public for you and I to see.

Their lives are almost entirely focused on their careers. They work hard, they have packed schedules. They no doubt spend a lot of time connected to each other behind the scenes, via texts, video chat, etc. but most of their time will be taken up with their work, and with meetings and discussions with various handlers and brands and management and other career-related contacts.

It's going to be rare for us to catch a glimpse of something related to each other, because such things are going to be rare in their daily lives and in most cases shared privately.

So I am deeply dismayed when DD can't even call in sick without people assuming a break-up. It's not right. My god, let the man be sick for a day.

When it comes to kadian we need to remember that the context is actually more important than the numbers. What is the likelihood that any particular message is about something to do with their relationship? What is the likelihood that something important is going to be discussed or disclosed in that particular venue or format? What is the likelihood that GG and DD are going to send out key messages about their personal and private relationship in the timing of a Head and Shoulders ad?

DD is in the middle of promoting his new film, which - at the time - was just days away from being released. Can you honestly believe for one hot second that he's going to pick that time - of all the times in the world - to dicker around with cryptic, deeply consequential messages about his relationship? Consider his priorities, here. Consider the context and venue.

And have some empathy for the sick guy who was just trying to quell rumors that were flying about him.

When we evaluate anything they are saying or doing, we should be kind and empathetic about it, and on their side.

There were a lot of anti messages going around when he called in sick that day. People had all sorts of nasty theories about why he called in sick, including a theory that he was trying to generate sympathy to boost ticket sales.

Imagine that. Imagine if calling in sick to work made that big of an impact on your life and reputation? NO PRESSURE.

Like, woah. No wonder the guy never takes any time off anymore. No wonder he pushes through when he's got a sprained ankle or is practically falling over from exhaustion. The man can't take a day off without all hell breaking loose.

I expect that kind of thing from antis, but not from turtles. It's very disappointing.

A final note:

Another important thing I want people to fully understand and accept:

My failure to answer an ask is no commentary whatsoever on what I thought about that ask or about that person.

Anyone who has been following me for any amount of time at all should know that. I answer as many asks that annoy me as I do ones that make me laugh, smile or reflect.

In reality, if I don't answer your ask it's 99.9% of the time for one of these reasons:

I don't have time - I've been incredibly busy lately and have had very little time on Tumblr. Most of that time is spent scrambling to keep up with the content GG and DD and turtles have been releasing/discussing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this is pretty much always the reason I haven't answered an ask.

It's something I have already thoroughly covered, which can be found easily by doing even the barest search of my blog or browsing through my masterlist post. Given how little time I have for Tumblr, I'm not likely to spend much of it repeating myself.

It's a complicated question that will take a lot of time to answer, so the question ended up in my drafts folder as I pick away at it over weeks and months. My drafts folder is almost as backlogged as my inbox.

IT WAS NOT A QUESTION. I get quite a few of these. I've said this many times - my inbox is for questions.

Of course, anti BS, hate asks, etc. don't see the light of day, either, but that goes without saying.

If you've asked a question in good faith and it's not been answered, it's for one of the top 3 reasons on the list.

So, Anon, I found your ask frustrating, but I didn't find it 'rude' or 'hurtful'. And even though I found it frustrating, I didn't hold it against you because I know that approach is common among turtles. It's just a fairly standard part of the fandom that - while frustrating - I've more or less accepted as 'the way things are'.

So, no hard feelings. You didn't do anything wrong AFAIAC. I think you might want to do a bit more critical thinking than seems evident based on what you sent me, but you weren't rude or hurtful.

And to be clear, Anon: most of what I'm saying in this post isn't aimed at you. Like I said, I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about a couple of things, and you were unfortunate enough to accidentally stumble across it. I definitely don't hold anything against you.

#fandom reflections #bxg perspectives #kadian #ask

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doberbutts · 10 months

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your post about how the lack of accessibility for one need isn't the fault of that person with the need really resonated with me. ive got both physical and mental accessibility needs to go places, needing space for a wheelchair, a "quiet space" for sensory issues, various needs for my deafness depending on where im going, etc. every time i look up what the activity/business's accessibility options are, i get both sides of me ignored in different places. one site might mention tons of accessibility options for autism (and, often framed like it's specific to autistic kids but that's a whole other conversation to be had) and not even once say if there's an elevator or a ramp. one place might mention they have elevators and ramps to get into all entrances and floors, even offer a PCA employee, but then mention nothing at all about a quiet space. and my Deaf accomodations are almost never mentioned at all.

i just can't relate to people who have these experiences and blame it on the other disability for existing and receiving accommodations, instead of directing their annoyance at the ableism of the business/event for not being thorough and specific. it happens an equal amount across all my disabilities, so to me it makes zero sense to blame other disabled people for it

Exactlyyyyyyyyy. Accessibility sucks for everyone and it makes no sense to be mad at other disabled people because they happened to be the ones most helped by the lackluster accommodations provided at that specific venue. The problem is that ableist society never takes into account anything besides what they're legally required to, and often not even that, and the legal requirements are mostly a joke when it comes to what the people they're supposedly designed to help actually need, and they themselves were hard won against ableist politicians that were mad they couldn't make the icky disableds disappear.

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cluelylikesporn · 5 months

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okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day:

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #spotify #the walking dead #dead by daylight #metal #metallica #elvira #autism #adhd #spiderman #scott pilgrim #rammstein #elton john #australia #exams

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axolozzy · 1 month

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vent (tw for extreme ablism transphobia and overall terrible stuff idek if i should even post this im sorry i just really need to vent i will probably delete this later)

y’all i’ve finally gotten comfortable vocal stimming in front of people im comfortable with like my friends and family and now my mom all of a sudden thinks im hearing voices or that i have “multiple personalities”????????* like no i promise nothings “going on” with me and j don’t need to see a mental health professional im just stimming because im happy. what the fuck

*also i’ve literally told her for YEARS that it’s called DID and talking in different voices does not fucking mean someone has “multiple personalities” because this has come up SOO fucking much over the years and i’m getting tired of explaining it. i repeat things in funny voices because it’s fun. i’ve done it my whole fucking life it’s called echolalia it’s called STIMMING and she doesn’t listen to me whenever i explain that

so much for being comfortable being myself around people. “you never used to act like this” BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!!!!! BECAUSE I HAD TERRIBLE ANXIETY AND DIDNT WANT TO BE JUDGED FOR BEING WEIRD!!!!!! my parents genuinely think there’s something severely wrong with me now. they literally told me that. because i meow sometimes as a vocal stim. and so do LITERALLY ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AT SCHOOL. PEOPLE IN CLASS TALK IN WEIRD VOICES AND MAKE ANIMAL NOISES TOO ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! ITS NOT FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

i’m genuinely so fucking tired of this god who fucking gives a shit of im weird. i’ve been like this my whole life its not my fuckign fault that you didn’t pay attention and don’t remember. FUCK

my step dad’s a fucking dick too i genuinely hate him so fucking much i cant fucking take it anymore. NO!!!! IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK. “why” because im autistic. “that’s not an excuse” yes it fucking is bitch its literally a symptom of fucking autism. no i AM going to keep calling myself autistic because thats what i am. no its not “putting a label on myself” because im actually fucking diagnosed autistic im not going to pretend it doesnt exist. because i fucking exist. im not going to “beat” my autism by suppressing all of my autistic traits because you want me to. “why?” DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF???????

and this guy worked in mental health for 17 years. he worked at a psychiatric hospital for 17 years. he never went to college or learned anything about mental health at all. he thinks he knows more than me about my fucking disability when he says the most outdated offensive shit ive ever heard about autism or DID or schizophrenia. he doesnt listen to a word i say because he’s “older than me and has more life experience” and therefore he automatically “knows more than me and im wrong.” he doesnt listen to anyone actually. he literally says to people not to correct him when he’s wrong because he doesnt like being told he’s wrong to being told what to do or think. he’s “not going to change his beliefs for anyone” even if he knows his “beliefs” are literally just fucking factually wrong or actively harmful. he purposely makes people feel like shit if they stand up for themselves against him. he purposely makes me feel like shit because im the only one in this fucking houses that dares to disagree with the shit he says. he’s a republican he’s obsessed with trump and blasts conservative transphobic racist news channels on the tv right outside my room at night so it keeps me awake and doesnt turn the tv down when i ask because apparently he has hearing problems but has never once got that checked out. he deadnames me and says “because of his adhd he’s not sure he’ll ever remember to use the right name so he’s not even gonna try.” and he says he loves and supports me but is constantly saying the most ableist transphobic shit to me and says he’s just giving me a hard time because he loves me. he has said on multiple occasions with a straight face that “fat people piss him off and they’re the one type of people that he doesnt feel bad for being outwardly hateful and discriminatory towards.” he tries to make me feel guilty for not believing in god. he’s anti abortion. he doesnt want me to get gender affirming care under his roof because he thinks its weird and disgusting and doesnt want me to get a dick even though i have told him a million fucking times i never want bottom surgery and i dont know why this is any of his fucking business anyway. he constantly tells me my online friends aren’t real friends and when he knows i love talking to them he purposely turns the wifi off. he asks me why im acting so weird and i say its how ive always acted alone and with my friends and im just being myself and he says “stop acting like that.” “why. im not going to change who i am for other people.” “well i want you to around me.” KILL YOURSELF IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s a manipulative bastard and whenever we get into arguments, SOME FUCKING HOW a few hours later were happy and forgiving eachother and im the one saying sorry. he’s an asshole to me and everyone around him, he’s an asshole to my mom. they are constantly fighting but always deny it. i cant fucking take it anymore

sorry for this vent i know people dont follow me to know about my personal life i know i shouldnt say this stuff but i dont fucking care im so sick of this. i woke up this mornign feeling more excited happy and motivated than i have felt all week and it was ruined the second my mom came in my room saying that the way i act (my literal vocal stims) make her think there’s something severely wrong with me. i love her more than anything in the world she’s the best mom ever but what the actual fuck??????? anyway i hate my stepdad and even though i dont believe in hell i hope he fucking burns

#vent

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