Solitary Love Chapter 12
Sorry for the late update yall! 😭 A lot of things have been happening in my life. More like a lot of changes (positive changes) have occurred these few weeks so I was taking some time to adjust but I'm back, baby!
This chapter is the first of many symbolism I'm adding to this fic, hehe~ I hope yall will be able to catch on but I know you guys are smart so I don't have to worry.
Enjoy! ❤️
It had been a few days since your last encounter with the Don. Since then, he hasn’t really bothered you much. These past few days gave you time to learn about your new environment and to think about what you were to do next.
First, your phone.
When Giorno handed you your phone back, you discovered some new things. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it aside from your gallery being wiped out and your inability to download and open social media. What surprised you was how your phone had internet access, or rather, restricted internet access would be the correct term. There were certain sites you weren’t allowed access to and even your search history was limited since Giorno blacklisted words like ‘escape, run away, prisoner, police, authorities, missing, kidnapped’. You also noticed how his credit card was automatically synced, meaning you could buy anything and everything to your heart’s content. You figured this was his way of showing his “love” and a means to gain your forgiveness.
The credit card wasn’t a bluff though. Just yesterday you received a package with all the things you ordered. It was all random things from toothbrushes to fidget cubes since you were only testing it but the package that sat in your room was confirmation that it was the real deal. You had access to his credit card.
Second, every escape route has been blocked.
Your room was your prison cell despite the extravagant and lavish furnishings it held. The door is kept locked with a card key and an alarm installed. The card key wasn’t just given to anyone though. While making your observations, Maria was the only maid who carried it on her. Whenever the maids and/or butlers needed entry into your room, Maria is always there to give them access. She did mention that she is the head of the maids in this villa. From there, you were able to deduce that only trusted figures who oversee your imprisonment are given card keys to your room. As far as you know that’s only Giorno and Maria.
Escaping through the windows isn’t plausible either. Your windows were screwed shut tight and to make matters worse, you didn’t have anything in your room to pry them open. Giorno probably took this into consideration when he was planning your kidnapping. Not to mention, the unfortunate floor planning. Even if you somehow managed to escape through the window, your room was on the third floor and you’d most likely sustain heavy injuries from dropping from such heights.
Third, there is always someone watching you.
True to his words, you had bodyguards, maids, and servants at your beck and call. They serviced you and provided you with anything you wanted. You barely ever had to move a finger since the maids and butlers were a step ahead of you. Even this morning, as soon as you got out of bed, there were maids who came in to clean your room, serve breakfast, and make your bed for you. The frequency of the servants of this house served to be a reminder that you’re being watched and to ensure you don’t escape.
If it was just the servants, you wouldn’t mind but it was the bodyguards who would be your problem. Looking out the window, there are clearly several big and scary-looking men in black suits patrolling the villa outside. Maybe that’s why he gave you this view out of your window. Not for sightseeing or to find solace that there is an outside world to your prison but for you to see how futile escaping is with all the guards patrolling the villa.
Sometimes, through the small glimpses of when the door is open for the maids to enter, you can see some bodyguards patrolling the hallways just outside of your bedroom. They all had earpieces attached to them, probably as a means to communicate with each other but it's likely they’re giving updates to Giorno about what you’re doing.
These three things were what you gathered during your stay here. By tomorrow, it’ll be a week since you’ve been kidnapped.
God, a week, huh? Everything just seemed to go by so fast yet so slow at the same time. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you that no help has come your way but you didn’t want to give up. You spent the last few days observing and watching. To look for an opening and you think you might have just found it. Now all that’s left is to set the plan in motion. You will escape!
In the meantime, your best bet is to be on your best behavior so as to not raise any suspicions.
***
“Maria, Giorno doesn’t know you and Polnareff have been talking to me, right?”
It was the usual cleaning time for your room. Today, it was Maria who was assigned to clean and you couldn’t be happier. It's nice seeing a familiar face and having someone to talk to. The other maids are all too afraid.
“Non lo so, bambina. But if he doesn’t, I doubt it will stay that way. Don Giovanna has eyes and ears everywhere,” Maria answered while dusting the windows.
She doesn’t have to tell you twice. You’re certain there are surveillance cameras implanted in your room you’ve yet to find. Heck, there are 2 bodyguards standing just outside your door.
“Won’t you get in trouble for talking to me?”
“Oh, I’m an old woman now. Death doesn’t scare me.”
Death? Maria said it so nonchalantly that it didn’t seem like she was joking. But would Giorno really go that far? Kill Maria just for talking to you? He couldn’t… right?
“And Polnareff?”
“Signor Polnareff is Don Giovanna’s right-hand man. It will be hard to find a suitable replacement but I can’t say for certain, bambina. Don Giovanna can be hard to understand at times.”
You hesitate to speak. You surely didn’t understand the extent of Giorno’s power as a mafia boss but you had a vague idea. “If you stop talking to me, I understand,” your brows furrow and your mouth drops into a frown. If you were really honest, you wish Maria and Polnareff will continue to talk to you. But you knew that’s just wishful thinking. To defy a mafia boss is practically asking for death and that’s not something you could allow. Maria’s blood would be on your hands just as much as Giorno’s. You could never forgive yourself if Maria or Polnareff were killed because of you.
Maria stops dusting and smiles, “you’re such a kind girl, y/n. Worrying about an old lady like me when you’re in this situation.” When Maria notices the visible frown on your face, she continues her task, “I’ll be cautious. I’m in no rush to die yet and I’d like to continue serving you, signora l/n. If that’s okay with you,” she reassures you.
You smile at her comment, “I’d like that.”
With Maria and Polnareff here, you didn’t feel as lonely. Being able to interact with them was a form of escapism from the harsh reality of your current life. You knew it might not last forever. Eventually, Giorno will find out and revoke this small blessing from you but until then, you wanted to make the most of this time you can spend with them.
Glancing at the clock, Maria gathers her things and prepares to head out your door, “time to go, bambina. Don Giovanna will be here soon,” she gives you a nod and shuts the door behind her. The ever-so-audible sound of locks being armed rang through your ears, signalling that you were once again, alone.
Sighing, you grab one of the books from the bookshelf and sat at the edge of your bedside. Giorno really did his research about you. There isn’t a single book that didn’t pique your interest. Well, it at least gave you something to do. Reading was just one of the ways you would pass the time in this isolating prison cell. You turned to the first page of the book and began reading.
***
You could hear the sound of the alarm permitting access and the door opening. You didn’t need to turn around to know who had entered your room as the footsteps distinctly made it clear who it was. The click of expensive leather dress shoes was accompanied by soft and careful treading but his presence was strong and the cologne’s scent became more salient as he approached where you sat.
Giorno takes his seat next to you. He left some distance but he was still too close for your comfort. You didn’t acknowledge his presence. You made it a point to ignore him and to treat him like he’s dead. It’s just one way of enacting your revenge on him as petty as it sounded.
“Come stai, mi amore?”
Almost instinctively, your brow twitches and your stomach churn. You don’t reply. You almost had to hold back a scoff. How dare he call you his amore? In a situation like this! You never consented to be his lover so he has no right to call you amore.
When you don’t respond, Giorno leans over slightly to peek at your book, hoping to spark a conversation, “what are you reading?”
Still giving him the silent treatment, you ignore his question.
“Hades and Persephone? Finding comfort in reading about a character who you can relate to?”
You sighed, how dare he’d suggest you succumb to the same fate as Persephone, “Greek mythology keeps the mind entertained when there’s nothing else to do,” your eyes never leaving the pages of the book.
Giorno doesn’t show it but he’s smirking on the inside. He finally got you to speak to him, even if he had to rile up the bear a little. “Hades is often portrayed as a villain in media because he’s the God of the underworld. But what a lot of people miss was how he was the tamest in comparison to his brothers. He was loyal, unlike Zeus and Poseidon who had multiple affairs in their life. Hades only had eyes for Persephone.”
“Until reality hit him and he realized that kidnapping a girl isn’t how you win her affections”
Giorno paused, “Persephone eventually fell in love with him.”
“Well, it’s called Greek mythology for a reason. It’s just a myth. It's romanticized, just like everything else in media.”
“Concordo (I agree).”
You had to admit, Giorno didn’t bother you nearly as much as you thought he would. He gave you space and always kept his distance. He never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do. You hated to say it, but he was considerate. With every visit, Giorno would indulge in your hobbies and encourage you to participate in them. He always had supplies ready for you whether it be for art, reading, exercise, etc. You figured it was because he wanted to respect your boundaries. Weird, isn’t it? Your captor gives you such hospitality.
Still, you wanted to poke back at him for his earlier comment when he suggested you’d fall for him just as Persephone did for Hades. “Demeter was enraged when her daughter went missing. Although Hades and Demeter struck a compromise to share Persephone, Hades learned how to let her go.”
“Hades and Demeter had opposing powers. Demeter gave life whereas Hades could only control death. He didn’t have the means to grow life and replace Demeter’s powers. If he possessed her powers while remaining king of the underworld, he’d be invincible. Hades would never have had to let Persephone go because he’s the strongest. Demeter would have never stood a chance.”
You turn your head and finally face Giorno, “that’d make him a true God then. To control both life and death.”
“Persephone would never be able to escape. Because she knew it’d be useless.”
***
Your conversation with Giorno kept replaying in your head as you lay in your bed staring at the ceiling.
“Persephone would never be able to escape. Because she knew it’d be useless,” those words sounded like a warning. Now that you know Giorno is a mafia boss, you know he possesses power. But to what extent and how far it reaches was still a mystery. He compared himself to a God and while you would like to just say he probably has a God complex, you didn’t sense he was lying. You pick up these things as a psych student but the way Giorno carried himself from the way he spoke and even how he walked, Giorno prided himself in always finding and knowing the objective truth. But then again, he might just be a psychopath who’s learned how to lie.
But at this point, it didn’t matter anymore. Mafia boss, psychopath, whatever he was. Because you were going to prove him wrong. Tomorrow would mark a week since your capture but also the day you would escape.
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Tell me more about parasites and their hosts. Do you think the dynamic works if neither is aware of the other?
Before all else, any simplified dynamic has nigh infinite potential and how you explore it depends entirely on what you personally are looking for.
In my own case, a lot of my relationship with the idea of parasitism comes from my own mental health being strongly dependent on where I live- being able to return to home like a save point in a horror game. This sense of constantly being dependent on comfort, not merely as a normal person is but to the extent that I've felt like I'll be unable to cope if I can't get home in time or haven't built adequate mini 'safe rooms' (e.g. my car or a hotel room) to recharge, has formed a lot of my relationship with the idea of parasitism and the idea of haunted houses.
Both, to me, centrally focus on the idea of dependency on equilibrium. A house can't really chase you down- while there's certainly haunted house stories that give it the power to trap or pursue, to me, the most compelling angle is often one of necessity. Someone weighing the ghosts, the violence, the blood on the walls, and having to ask themselves if this is really worse than being homeless, or losing some advantage or shelter that you have here that can't be found elsewhere.
In the case of parasitism, the host is the haunted house. It may be simply indifferent to the parasite's survival; it may be actively hostile to and trying to rid itself of the 'guest'. But both parties have to weigh the odds- is it worth tearing into your own walls just to get at the interloper, is it worth staying in a place that unknowingly tolerates your existence at best and hates you at worst if the alternative is being laid barren in the world?
As a child, I remember reading the Animorphs books and one thing that always struck me as an unexpected source of pathos was how bleak and miserable the yeerks' default existence was. While we mostly experienced them from the horror of their would-be victims, people terrified and paranoid that those around them were being controlled, made prisoners in their own minds... the book where Cassie is briefly host to a yeerk and the first thing said yeerk does is, rather than focus on their agreement or advantages, start running around wildly and making use of Cassie's morphing power for the sheer wild euphoria of being able to.
As much as they are the Bad Guys in the story- invaders, body snatchers, sometimes sadists- there's something to be said about the torture of a fully sapient and intelligent being living as a nearly senseless, barely mobile creature by default. A tapeworm is perhaps lucky it cannot evaluate its existence in comparison to other life forms.
And, yeah, sure, parasites trip a particular contrarian reflex in me that I always want to root around and play with things that are seen as too icky or evil to be 'worth exploring', whether or not there's even any actual morality attached to things. Parasites do nothing on a basis of sadism- 'parasitism' is how they survive just as much as herbivory is how a rabbit survives.
It's instead on a basis of need.
And the point where we need others- especially imperfectly, reluctantly, warily, always hesitating on these dynamics of exploitation- and especially when it comes to the body which we often see as the most private bastion of the self- is where some really juicy dynamics can spring from.
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