#LOVE characters going on thoughtful solitary journeys

[marinersubmariner]

#the bear #the bear fx #sydney adamu #ayo edebiri #picspam #LOVE characters going on thoughtful solitary journeys #and season 2 had some great ones

[kiidqr]

Blooming in the Sickness

Reader/Argenti, Argenti Honkai Star Rail, Angst, Character Death, First Post, Fanfiction, 1.3K Words, Honkai Star Rail, English.

Summary:

As the formidable knight of beauty he was, Argenti finds you lost in a place not deserving of such a pure soul as you. Which actively turns out to demonstrate that he has fallen for something more than solely your outside stunning beauty.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned...

...

Your face had been pale and sickly for some time now. Not wanting to burden your loved one, on deathbed you've decided to deliver one last rose to him.

Blooming in the Sickness

The interstellar winds whispered through the vast expanse of space as Argenti, the noble knight of the Knights of Beauty, traversed the cosmos on his solitary journey. His silver armour gleamed under the distant stars, a beacon of unwavering commitment to the Path of Beauty. Little did he know that his path was about to intersect with a fleeting moment of beauty that would change him forever.

You, an enigmatic traveller with a heart filled with grace and kindness, had been a silent companion to Argenti in his interstellar adventures. Your paths crossed on a desolate moon, and from that moment, a subtle connection began to blossom. Though you spoke little, your actions spoke volumes, and Argenti found solace in your company.

"As the stars above, you appeared in my solitude, a gentle whisper in the cosmic winds," Argenti mused one evening as you both gazed at the distant galaxies. "Why do you accompany me, traveller, on this lonesome journey?"

Your response was a soft smile, eyes reflecting the luminosity of distant constellations. "In the vastness of the cosmos, I saw a kindred spirit. A knight dedicated to beauty, yet burdened by the weight of solitude. I wished to share this journey with you, to bring warmth to the cold expanse."

As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, a unique bond grew between Argenti and you. Nights were spent beneath the celestial canopy, sharing stories of distant realms and dreams that echoed in the cosmos. The silent moments spoke louder than any words could convey.

Argenti, usually reserved and composed, found himself opening up to you in ways he never imagined. "I never thought I would find a companion in this solitary pursuit," he confessed one evening as you both watched the stars. "Your presence brings a new light to my path."

You smiled, reaching out to gently touch his hand. "The beauty of the cosmos is best appreciated when shared, Argenti. We walk this path together, bound by the threads of fate and the love that silently grows between us."

One day, as you explored the vibrant gardens of a celestial haven, you discovered a rare celestial rose – a flower of unparalleled beauty, said to hold the essence of the cosmos itself. With a gentle touch, you plucked the rose, and in that moment, you decided to send it to Argenti along with a letter expressing your gratitude for the shared moments.

As the rose arrived at Argenti's side, its delicate petals whispered a tale of unspoken emotions. Argenti, curious and touched by the unexpected gift, carefully unfolded the letter. In the quiet solitude of his ship, he read your words, written with love and adorned with a poignant farewell.

"Dear Argenti,

In the tapestry of the cosmos, our paths converged like stars in the night sky. Your unwavering dedication to the Path of Beauty has illuminated my journey, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

As the celestial rose graces your presence, let it be a symbol of the beauty we found in the vastness of the cosmos. Our moments together were fleeting, yet they were the most cherished. Continue to walk your path with the same grace that guided us.”

"Do you remember the night we first spoke of our dreams, Argenti?" the letter continued. "I saw a galaxy in your eyes, and in that moment, I knew my heart had found its home. Though our time together is brief, the love that bloomed between us is eternal."

"As the final petals fall, know that my spirit will linger among the stars, and our love will endure in the cosmic winds.”

“I love you.”

Argenti's heart sank as the weight of your words settled upon him. He clutched the celestial rose close to his chest, feeling the fragility of life encapsulated in its petals. The realisation struck him like a celestial storm – the silent companion he had grown to cherish was slipping away, and he had been oblivious to your struggle.

A mix of emotions overwhelmed Argenti as he recalled the shared moments, the laughter, and the silent exchanges that spoke of a love that transcended the boundaries of time. He whispered your name into the cosmic winds, a prayer for your soul to find peace among the stars.

In the vastness of space, Argenti continued his journey, carrying the celestial rose as a poignant reminder of a beauty that once bloomed in the cosmos – a beauty that silently faded away, leaving only the echo of your unspoken farewell.

As the starlight dimmed and the galaxies continued their dance, Argenti vowed to honour the memory of the silent companion who had taught him that even in the cold expanse of space, love could be a beacon, guiding one's path with warmth and grace.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, yet Argenti's heart remained heavy with the weight of your absence. He found solace in retracing the paths you once walked together, visiting celestial havens where memories lingered like echoes of a distant melody.

One day, as he explored a crystalline asteroid belt, a beacon of ethereal light caught his attention. As he approached, he “saw” an imaginary projection of you, smiling amid the twinkling stars.

"Argenti," the image said, "Know that my essence lingers in the cosmic winds. Our love was a fleeting bloom, but its fragrance remains in the corners of the universe."

Argenti's eyes glistened with unshed tears as he listened to your words. "I never revealed the truth, for I wished to spare you the burden of my fate. The celestial rose was a token of the love we shared, a love that will endure beyond the boundaries of time."

The imaginary projection extended a hand, and a radiant rose materialised within it. "Take this, my love. Let it be a reminder that even in the vastness of the cosmos, our love transcends the limitations of mortal existence. Carry it with you, and may it bring you warmth on the coldest of nights."

The projected image faded, leaving Argenti standing alone amid the silent beauty of the asteroid belt. In his hands, he held the radiant rose, a symbol of love that reached beyond the boundaries of life and death.

As Argenti continued his journey through the cosmos, the celestial rose became a source of both sorrow and solace. Each petal held the essence of your love, a love that had blossomed like a silent bloom in the heart of the noble knight.

In the quiet moments of interstellar solitude, Argenti found himself whispering to the rose, sharing thoughts and dreams as if you were still by his side. The cosmic winds carried his words across the galaxies, a tribute to the silent companion who had left an indelible mark on the noble knight's heart.

The beauty of the cosmos unfolded before Argenti's eyes, a vast tapestry of stars, nebulas, and galaxies that seemed to dance in harmony with the celestial rose in his hands. Each celestial body became a reflection of the love that once flourished between two wandering souls.

One fateful day, as Argenti stood on the edge of a cosmic precipice, he felt a gentle breeze, a whisper in the cosmic winds that echoed with a familiar warmth. Closing his eyes, he imagined your presence, and in that moment, he knew that your love, like the celestial rose, had become a timeless beacon in the cosmic tapestry.

In the quiet vastness of space, Argenti continued his journey, carrying the celestial rose as a reminder that love once again, even in its silent bloom, could transcend the boundaries of time and space. As the stars above witnessed the noble knight's solitary voyage, they bore witness to a love that endured, a love that whispered through the cosmic winds, and a love that remained eternally engraved in the heart of Argenti.

#hsr argenti #argenti x reader #argenti honkai star rail #honkai star rail #fanfic #angst #character death #terminal illness #first fanfic #first post #1.3k words

[morallyinept]

Hahhh Jatt

Ahm back wath mah ask gahms.

This time we have a spring based prompts theme. You get a spring prompt and a character and I'd like to know your head canon/immediate thoughts on the combination.

Character: Ezra

Prompt: comet

With love,

El

Lovely El! 🖤 Aah mah gaaah!

Oooh, so I love this prompt, thank you, and wrote a lil' something that came to mind.

I immeadiately thought of that scene in Prospect towards the end, where Ezra has told Cee to go and leave him, and there's a shot where we see him against the tree thinking he's going to die alone on the moon. So, I thought about what would be going through his mind...

Enjoy! 🖤

In the quiet rasps of the alien wilderness, Ezra is perched alone beneath the resplendent expanse of the nocturnal firmament, his waning gaze ensnared by the magnificent spectacle unfolding above.

A celestial panorama, a luminous comet traversing the heavens, its incandescent tail weaving an ephemeral arc of bright silver fire through the velvety expanse of the night.

For a fleeting moment, the pain is stopped in its tracks; Ezra is transported back to a bygone epoch, to a hazy memory ensconced in the annals of time, where he and you - his cherished paramour - had once stood in amorous communion beneath the same ethereal canopy, hearts aglow with the glittering fervour of shared aspirations and boundless dreams as you both spied a similar comet together.

And yet here he is now, slumped and open wet and fleshy on the Bahkroma moon, dying for wasted pillaging efforts for coveted root pearls in abundance, and coming up with more losses than he could have foretold when he’d set off with a ship, a crew and both arms.

Yet, as the comet traverses its trajectory, Ezra finds himself enveloped in a profound maelstrom of reminiscence, a poignant reverie evoking a longing that resonates deep within the recesses of his soul - a wistful reminiscence of the love he's relinquished for a relentless pursuit of greedy ambition.

"Trivial," he wheezes as he ponders.

He can hear your voice, calling out to him and he closes his eyes listening to the lilt of your lullaby to soothe him.

His breaths come in shallower now, metal encasing his tongue as he waits for the cold embrace of death to lead him into the depth of his torment further.

In that interlude, he experiences a visceral connection to the sublime sight of the cosmos, a poignant reminder of the ineffable beauty and magnificence that transcends the exigencies of mortal existence.

With a dolorous heart, Ezra reluctantly tears his gaze from the splendour and redirects his focus to the realisations of his solitary odyssey, his ruminations consumed by the spectre of the beloved he's forsaken.

Yet, amidst the vast expanse of the cosmic abyss, he harbours an immutable certitude - that notwithstanding the expanse of space and the relentless march of time, the ineffable bond he shares with you will forever endure, even in the next life. He knows you'll find him as a lone tear spills down his ragged cheek.

With closed eyes, Ezra is poised, prepared to depart from this Kevva forsaken moon, only to be abruptly startled by a sudden crunching sound. The distinct cadence of footsteps, agile and unforeseen, heralds the return of the blonde pixie, armed with a patch gun in hand, as she deftly secures him with her tether.

In the silent, bewildering exchange between them, no words are uttered, for within Ezra's soul resides naught but a profound sense of silent reverence. Despite the weight of his transgressions, he's overcome by a resounding awe, for in this moment, she refuses to abandon him to the merciless clutches of solitude.

Instead, she extends her hand, offering salvation in the form of a journey homeward, back to the embrace of you, his beloved.

🖤

#pedro pascal #ezra prospect #ezra prospect x reader #pedro pascal characters #jett's asks #love this scoundrel so much

[sheppardsmckay]

I’ve finally finished the incredible show that is Stargate Atlantis and I. Have. Thoughts.

I watched Vegas and Enemy at the Gates together (on the advice of my sga leader @lightthewaybackhome) and I’m so happy I did.

So Vegas feels like a different show entirely, from the filming to the characters. Sheppard does not seem like Sheppard nor does anyone else. They’re all darker, more broken versions. My heart was just broken the whole time, but I didn’t cry until I saw Rodney though. This is the Rodney without his Sheppard to guide him and help him. This is the Rodney who lets Keller pass him by. This is the Rodney that lets Sheppard go alone. This is Rodney without a Sheppard that lit up Atlantis (this is honestly worse than last man but it’s a good parallel).

This is the Sheppard that goes alone on yet another suicide mission because he’s lost everything anyway…and then he dies. While Johnny Cash’s “Solitary Man” plays. Because that’s who Sheppard is, not the man in black saving the world with his people, but the solitary man who is alone without a home and no chance to be healed. And yet still he sacrifices himself and is brave and dies saving the world. Sheppard becomes the action hero at the end of the movie that goes out guns blazing and, while it’s usually cool to see, this one just breaks our hearts.

And then we move to the finale and…oh! Sheppard is Sheppard again, and Rodney is Rodney and everyone is okay.

And we see the parallels between the Vegas world and ours throughout the episode. Sheppard about to go on a suicide mission stops right at the last moment because Rodney’s voice breaks through the radio. The team is about to die blowing up the hive ship but stops because Atlantis is there in time to save them. Atlantis is lit up because of Sheppard. And then we see them all at the end. They’re happy, and alive and not broken.

And even though they aren’t fully healed, cause who ever is in this life, they’re on the path to healing. There’s hope, there’s light that has broken through the darkness (the way the show ends with the light piercing through the clouds is so beautiful in a literal and metaphorical sense like I’m sobbing).

There’s a couple lines from songs that my Sheppard told me about that is forever linked with SGA now. Ghosts That We Knew has a beautiful line, “So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light”. Throughout the show there’s so much darkness and pain, but we stick through it with the team because there’s hope that it’ll be okay. There’s hope because John is there, because they’re all there right where they should be. It’s a beautiful metaphor for life.

And then there’s a song called Hospital for Souls. It’s mainly a Sheppard song, as he lets himself burn for his family, but it’s also how Atlantis is a hospital for all the broken souls and brings them together. It’s why Sam didn’t stay there long and Woolsey came on board. It’s why Ronon says at the end that he is home. It’s why Teyla chooses to stay and raise her son in Atlantis instead of her home world. Why Rodney waits 48000 years for Sheppard and why Sheppard realizes finally that he doesn’t have to die to be redeemed, that living and healing is possible for even him.

It’s been a wonderful journey watching this show, it’s changed me, helped me grow and made me realize that healing is possible for even me. That a family is what you make it and they can be your hospital for your soul no matter how weary, broken or hurt.

I just love this show. I’m immediately gonna start rewatching it from the beginning because this. This is my family, my home. I’ve found myself in the darkness of Sheppard and the outlierness of Rodney. In the fierce love of Ronon and sisterly bond of Teyla.

I’m ever so grateful my friend got me to watch this, so happy that I went through the darkness into the light with my team, through tears and shouts of joy. I always said Supernatural would be the only show with this kind of life-changing, life-saving impact. But Stargate Atlantis now holds that honor too, this little, cheesy, ridiculously funny and terribly sad series has changed my life, helped me be the person I wanted to be for so many years but always struggled with (yeah I’m louder, complain more and am maybe a bit more annoying but gosh it’s more fun) and just generally helped me with so many endless things. And I’ve found some great friends and got closer to one of my best friends, aka my Sheppard lol.

Anyway, all this to say that this show is beautiful and incredible and please do yourself the honor of watching it but definitely bring tissues. Don’t worry too much about why they wear sneakers for like two seasons or their military tactics are off, but just enjoy the friendship, the humor, and how wonderful it shows that it doesn’t matter how messed up you are. How dark you’ve gotten or how many pieces of your soul you’ve sacrificed for others. You can be redeemed and healed and made whole. You can find people who love you despite your flaws and shortcomings. And you can find the light no matter how dark the world has become. You too can be home.

#sga #stargate atlantis #enemy at the gate #vegas #hospital for souls #ranting #john sheppard #rodney mckay #teyla #ronon #my post #sga s5 #mumford and sons #bring me the horizon #tv #fave shows #thank you to my Sheppard friend…for everything #home #Atlantis #Atlantis team

[writing-for-life]

“Oblivion Is Not An Option”—A Musical Meta About Death’s “A Kind Word And A Friendly Face”

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

As some of you already know, my past life as a musician gives me a deep love for, and interest in, film music.

I already wrote a meta about the musical themes of Morpheus and Johanna Constantine, which you can find here.

In the spirit of actually creating the content we’d like to see, and also inspired by Sandtember Week 2023 prompt (Death) - The end of something, I’d like to talk about the musical leitmotif of Death today. And by the way, if you’d like me to cover any of the other Sandman musical themes: My ask box is always open (also for non-music related Sandman stuff. I’ve been sitting with this story for 30 years now, and I love to nerd out about it). I can’t promise how quickly I will be able to turn around these things since they need a bit of work and thought, but I definitely will get back to you.

First of all, let me start by saying that there are only four characters with a leitmotif (not every Sandman character has one) that doesn’t mirror, or even contain, Dream’s theme in some way:

Ethel Cripps

Hob Gadling

The Corinthian (video is time-stamped, which doesn’t always work on mobile. In that case, scroll to 0:55)

Death

Or

Johanna’s and Calliope’s motifs are interesting in this context. I won’t go into Johanna’s again here, you can read about it via the link.

Calliope’s motif sounds different from Dream’s at first listen, so we might be tempted to put her in above group. But on closer listen, Calliope’s theme, like Johanna’s, references Dream’s (at the very end, it starts at 1:26). One step further: It is actually his motif (somewhat) in reverse. Which is really heartbreaking if you think of it, because it mirrors both their connection and deep affinity, but also a pull into different directions. However, I might write more about this another time, since this one is obviously about Death.

Affective Tonality—Musical Keys Make Us Feel

“A Kind Word and a Friendly Face” is set in the key of a minor. In affective tonality, a minor is the key of softness and tenderness of character (if this is something that interests you, have a look at Schubart’s or Charpentier’s works on the matter), but also of sadness and melancholy (Charpentier calls it “plaintive”). It’s more difficult to make an affective tonality assessment for Dream, since his leitmotif changes key several times throughout the series, depending on whom he interacts with (it also changes slightly overall, depending on context). For this purpose, the main theme (“The Kingdom of Dreams”) would probably be the best to use for comparison. It is set in B major, about which Schubart writes, “(it is) strongly coloured, announcing wild passions, (...) despair and every burden of the heart lies in its sphere”, while Charpentier calls it “solitary and melancholic”. I think you couldn’t give a more accurate description of character of these two via tonality if you tried.

Sound Effects That Hint At Deeper Meaning

Another aspect of Death’s theme I’d like to draw your attention to is the use of what we call backmasking. I recommend you listen to the beginning of “A Kind Word and a Friendly Face” at above video link with your headphones on. You will hear a faint sound effect in the background that is actually achieved by playing sounds in reverse. I was fairly sure it was her own leitmotif, but just to make sure I’m not telling you rubbish, I actually sent it through my sound processor, and it’s eerie how Death’s motif sounds almost the same played normally and in reverse (only that the background “noise” becomes the melody when you play it backwards). I think this is a wonderful, skilled musical hint at the interwoven nature of life and death: The moment you are born, you are essentially on a journey to die. But “oblivion is not an option”—there is a reversing of time in using this effect, an ethereal quality that is also mirrored in other aspects of the tune, e.g. in using flageolet in the string section. You create this effect by not fully pressing your finger down on the string, hence creating harmonics of the fundamental (the “original note”, so to speak). One could almost say it’s the sound of the cosmos: There is a long tradition, going back to Ancient Greece, to connect the relationships between musical notes and harmonic ratios to the universe (and ultimately life). All life is regarded as iterations of what could be called “cosmic music”. This isn’t really as woo as it might sound, but it would lead much too far in a meta like this. If you’re interested, you can make a start here:

Or a bit more in depth…

Melody Lines And Cadences Are Seldom Chosen At Random

Last but not least, I’d like to draw attention to the actual melody line. Despite being set in a minor key (which tends to evoke sadness in many listeners of western music), we have a hook largely based around an ascending pattern: 1-2-(m)3-1-(7)-1-1 (you can hear this right at the beginning of the video in linked above).

Compare this to Dream, who is mostly based around descending patterns: 1-(7)-(6)-(5)-(4) (I already explained this a bit more in-depth in the meta about Johanna).

As you can see, it’s not just the choice of key, it’s also the directionality. One lifts regularly and is inherently hopeful, the other descends quite frequently. However, people perceive music very differently, so this is rather food for thought than exact science.

I’d like to end this post with an interrupted cadence, just like Death’s motif:

When a piece of music ends, we want to hear a resolution. Usually, this means that we go back to the tonic (I) in some way, either via a perfect (V—I) or plagal (IV—I) cadence. It just sounds like a song is “done” or finished. In Death’s case, this would mean returning to the chord of a minor. However, we finish in F major, which leaves us hanging on the VI. It’s what’s called an interrupted cadence: There is no resolution, no end. And perhaps, that’s what Death hints at when she tells Harry now he’ll find out (video is time-stamped at around 1:28)…

#sandman meta #the sandman #death of the endless #the sandman meta #neil gaiman #the sandman analysis #musical meta analysis #sandman soundtrack #sandman netflix #dream of the endless #morpheus #calliope #SandmanWeek2023 #sandweek2023 #sandtember2023 #sandman #netflix the sandman #the sandman netflix #sandman music #sandmancentral

[jolieblack]

Jolie's thoughts on

The Solitary Cyclist (Sherlock & Co. podcast)

Let me start this time with the details I loved about this generally very lovable show:

The unlucky condom (John, you so walked into that one, sorry) and then the unlucky condom making its surprise reappearance. Genius.

Dr and Mrs Holmes should definitely consider life insurance if you ask me.

The high fiving MY HEART (Check out this very sweet art by @under-loch-n-key)

Sherlock keeping his bedroom pristine but the lounge in total disarray, thank you, YES

John and the Valentines 😆

John and his rental bike 😆

John and his Netflix board 😆

I also love how John contributed to solving the case again, and this time with medical expertise, too. I love when John gets to be Doctor Watson in this show. I feel it happens way more frequently than in any other adaption I know. (And if maybe not all the medical stuff is objectively correct, I honestly don’t care as long as it sounds plausible). And then he gets to do BAMF battlefield medicine as well! No wonder Sherlock is absolutely smitten highly impressed. (And I love that he voices that, too.)

I have seen complaints about Violet's lack of agency. She's centre stage, this case is all about her, but it’s not just men (one in particular) controlling and exploiting her, it’s also men (two teams of two, basically) who look out for her and ultimately rescue her. Indeed, she bears little resemblance to ACD‘s original character, who is incredibly tough and brave given the extreme vulnerability of her situation. ACD‘s original Violet absolutely deserves our admiration. This one… not so much. I‘m torn though - is that a bad thing? Is 2024 media under any obligation to show us only particularly strong female characters who take their fate into their own hands? I would have liked this case to end on a very decisive note along the lines of, Violet finally finds the courage to stand up to the arsehole, divorces him immediately and never falls victim to a similar dynamic again. It is unsatisfying that the last thing we hear from her is crying over the arsehole at the showdown. Instead, I would have loved some kind of reassurance that she‘s not going to forgive him and take him back. But is this episode a bad episode for not giving us the perfect ending? If you've ever had any insight into RL domestic violence issues and especially into coercive control and financial abuse, unfortunately the happy ending is not the norm, and escaping those patterns (like addiction) can be a long or even life-long journey full of relapses. So I find it honest and realistic, rather than a storytelling failure, that we get an open ending. Brilliant investigators can solve your case but they can’t always fix your life. In the words of Mariana the Wise, some people do need a therapist more than a detective.

#sherlock & co podcast #sherlock & co #podlock #the solitary cyclist #episode notes #sherlock and co

[thescribeoflostmemories]

Didn't have anything to so but here's this.

made before Snezhnaya, and maybe ooc for any of the characters.

No beta read, tried to write it all out when it was still fresh. (Unedited)

Fatui agenda, (possible yandere?) Capitano x reader

The Witch, the Knight and the Dragon.

Shrouded in mystery, there lived a witch. Whose whole life in devoting her time to others. A noble cause, though not everyone pay too kindly to that notion.

"You're not my daughter!" He scorned.

"Deciever!" She cursed.

"Murderer!" They accused.

Focusing on your 'imperfections' instead of aiding, caused the fair maiden to flee from your kin to a solitary journey. Dreary is the woman with a siren voice.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As if the world has heed your plea, a Knight has entered her tiny life. He had heard rumors of a monster that has luring people to their deaths, only to find a lovely ewe instead.

With only your haunting hum as guidance. There you were in a meadow of flowers where a tiny hut is on the horizon. No words were exchanged, only him merely watching you sing to yourself, dainty hands play around with the flowers that laid beside you.

You did does noticed him, those burning stares behind your back is all you needs to know. At first you thought it was a mitachurl that manage to find the place this time, you had learnt your lesson from the last people that has ventured into your abode. Nothing but trouble if one were to interact, with just the voice you could might as well be a murderer if one were to count all who heard the soul-stirring voice.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

This continued on until the knight has left the area, where you can finally go home. Then the next day... So on and so forth.

During one of the nearly daily visits. You weren't there, instead a wreath that was made was placed there for him to have.

To have him as company, for you thought it would be rude to not thank him. Soon those wreaths turned into pressed flowers, then a tiny acorn trinket accompanied by a feather as a good luck charm.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Honestly." sighing, your back still facing him, currently in hand is another set of wreath for him.

"I thought you would leave if I just stayed quiet... But, thank you.. Really, just having another person with me means alot. Please sit down here with me. " Patting the ground next to you, beckoning him.

It took a moment of silence before the metallic clinks of metal grew closer to sat down on the patch of land.

"Maybe tomorrow I'll set up some chairs for the both of us... What kind of refreshments do you want, something cold?" (H/c) woman had assumed of his preference since it is a sunny day. Going by the heavy clothes he's wearing, he lives deep within the crevices of Teyvat that the sun would never dream of reaching with it are the fearsome hails that rained down on her people.

A sad and forlorn look appeared, knowing you would have to say goodbye at one point before parting. Or even worse, without even a farewell. Loneliness grew within, only to be snapped out of your thoughts. "Which ever you have." He replied. It made you smile a bit, "then cold mint tea it is."

"It's more nicer to talk to you like this." Your voice seemed a little rough, like it's your first time talking.

The knight in armor nodded, though. It does frighten you to actually see him right now. That his image towers over your own , if he wanted. He could just grab you and the whole body would just snap like a thin glass.

"Apologies that there isn't much to do in this place." Still, you have to maintain a level of composure just like what you practiced all those years ago.

"It doesn't need to... But how will you defend yourself against the monsters that roam aimlessly? " He asked, curious since if the rumors were to be true. Then he might take action.

"A lady has her ways." The maiden replied, not wanting to spill. Earning a huff, not sure if it is an exaperate one or amusement.

With a long silence between them, the man stood up. "Leaving so soon?" Sorrow can be heard from your voice.

"Do not worry, I will come back. Your name?" He looked back after he had stop and gotten a few feet away from your spot.

"_____. Yours?" Curious since there is no mention of a last name.

"it isn't important. Get home, the sun will set soon." He started to walk away.

______ wanted to stop him and ask him to stay longer, but the fear of rejection is stronger than the swelling words stuck in your throat. (e/c) eyes only looked at his slowly disappearing form.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Sir Capitano, here are the files you have requested." A fatui agent bowed and handed over the documents that contained information about a certain flower lady.

The agent would question, but even they don't have the luxury of questioning their orders. Least they want the receiving end of the horrendous things Capitano would have done to them.

Capitano wave his hand and the agent went away. It has been at least two weeks since their first meeting, its maddening as he try to wreck his mind for answers that'll satisfy his own questions.

Dark thoughts seeped in, as that woman doesn't seem to be tainted by the cruel world. maybe perhaps he could have asked the Tsaritsa to let him have a little ewe under his care.

A knock breaks his train of thoughts, "enter." Another agent entered and bowed.

"Sir, the Tsaritsa calls all Harbingers to mourn La Signora's passing from the Shogun's execution." Short, concise, like he trained them to do.

"The departure would be by this dawn, Sir." The room suddenly felt suffocating the moment that phrase left the agent's mouth.

"I-it was an order from Lord Harbinger Pulcinella." They added, hastily.

"Very well, you may leave." They left, it took alot to not slam his fist upon the desk and throwing his chair in the process. He's a professional, a Harbinger! Not some child.

Looking at the clock in the room, it is rather late. Letting out a deep sigh before getting up to leave.

He had informed a maid to pass the message that their departure is scheduled.

Capitano followed the trail he usually takes, though what he didn't expect is the ruffians that dared to eye his ewe's home.

Normally, he doesn't want to waste his time on those beneath him. But in this case.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Voila, _____. Sweeping the floors for the night. For the last couple of weeks, you had been in high spirits as of late. Humming out a tune while working.

"Sing sweet, nightingale..." Your angelic voice can be heard from outside. Unbeknownst to you of the screams of terror in the distance. Truly in your own wonderland once given the chance to open her candied mouth.

Soon (body shape) body started to move along with the song. Twirling, prancing until noticing Capitano by the window. Dropping the broom and went over to open the door.

"it- it's dark outside, please come in." with a voice cracked, there was an odd metallic smell to him. "Sorry, let me get you something to drink. " Led him to a makeshift sofa, considering the chairs here are too thin before leaving to the kitchenette.

Capitano took his chance to survey his surroundings. The mattress is in the living room, a couple of drawers, basket. From the empty frames down to the speck of dust on the window sill, he had taken note of everything.

"It isn't much." ____ had come back with some bread and cheese, and a glass of water. Hardly filling for a woman like you. Almost making Capitano to abandon the original plan and take the little ewe with him instead. But no, he must be patient.

"I came here without notice, I was only worried." A smile appeared on your face when he replied, setting down the plate and glass on the table.

"I'm glad an ordinary girl like me makes your worry." Trying to joke but didn't get a reply from him.

Awkward silence comes back in, only the crackling of the hearth and candle illuminated their vision. Which makes it even more breathtaking for him to just look at you and enjoy their company. Not before noticing the time, he has to leave.

"I'm sorry to take anymore of your time but, ____. I'll be leaving. " He stood up, leaving as fast as he were coming here this late at night.

"where are you going..?" Your voice trembled to ask, but he didn't reply. ____ didn't know if it was out of fear being left behind again or what, all you knew that you're out of the house "I'll be here." Proclaimed as you were trying to run after him. "I'll be waiting for you here, so please. Come and find me!" Tiny legs tripped over, like a desperate cry.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

262 days, that was the last he has seen her. It was only until recently he could see the woman of his dreams. He had sent an agent to watch over his little ewe in his stead. So far the reports consist, cleaning the house, eat, foraging and ending with a pass time on the bed of flowers.

"woah- ohhooo! Capitanoooo!" Beamed a certain ginger haired boy running after him. The armored Harbinger turned around, if he weren't so scary. Childe would have laughed instead.

"You're free right now, right?" If Childe were to have a tail, it'll be wagging non stop.

"Talk to Pulcinella instead." Capitano huffs, he has no time for this. Everything must be perfect when he set his sights on his previous post. He had local literature, and some composition papers for the dearly beloved pet in hand. Of course, he would gift your own coat once with the agreement to come with him.

He was about to smile from the inside of his helmet until Childe tried to drop kick the battle war lord. Countering it with a swift swat with his backhand. Making the battle lusted man outside on the ground.

"Do not test me Childe." Capitano scolded before leaving.

"p'tooy!" Childe spat out some of the dirt that got in his mouth.

"Well, did you get anything from him?" Sandrone, still being carried by her machine asked him.

"What do you think?" He groaned as he stood up.

"We'll find out soon what he's hiding.." her faint voice seems like she's up to something.

"Wonder what happened." Childe wondered as he rubbed his back, looking at where Capitano gone to.

"Maybe a little prospect of him finding something worth his time?" The Regrator suggested behind them, with eyes closed followed by an eerie smile.

"You mean, like someone stronger than me..?" Childe asked curiously.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

'Not a single letter from him, would a carrier even know how to find this place?'

Another annoyed sigh escaped from _____'s lips. laying down on the plot of flowers, with a book in hand. Something that had been read time... And time again.

'The Thrilling tales of Dragon slayers. ' it was the only thing you could find that could satiate social needs. Only opening it halfway before placing it on your (bust size) chest. (E/c) eyes stared up at the sky.

Had wish for freedom like the birds or anyone with an anemo vision. Yearning for something to do with your own life...

Not even Celestia, could grant you the most simplest thing you wanted. Then again, it is probably too much to begin with.

Lately, you could have sworn someone was looking at you. Especially during laundry, thinking the mysterious knight came back. Only to realize, no one's there.

Saddened, you've been thrown back in your own old ways. Knowing it's your own selfish wish, had you gone mad? Surely you are, in your own opinion. Tears fell down your (complexion) face, eyes closed until slipped into slumber with the bright sun shining down her.

Unbeknownst to you, a single amber had place upon the wood of your home. Waking up to a nightmare. The burning scent of your tiny lodge, fire started to spread from it. Unlike last time you were confronted with a problem, you didn't run away. The solemn promise had made with your admirer beckoned you to grab a bucket of water from a near by stream to put a halt to the raging inferno.

"Over here!"

"who-?" Surprised when another person was willing to help.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Capitano didn't expect that it would be this late the moment they set foot on land. Heavy crunches of leaves crinkled under his steps. He couldn't wait to see his beloved ewe, that is until the waft of burnt wood entered his sense.

He picks up the pace, he couldn't hear that lovely voice that would always call out to him.

At the meadow, is nothing but ash. "____!" He called out, going closer. The dust only trailed behind him as him running disturbs them.

"Sir!" A Fatui agent yelled to get his attention. Over the yonder, where the fire seem to stop by the river. A cryo maiden had been keeping _____ company, who seemed to cry herself to sleep. The mop of (h/c) laid on the cryo woman's lap, some soot manage to got onto your face.

"she had insisted to stay here and wait for you, Sir Capitano." Call it sense of pride that it welled up in Capitano's chest. Delighted that his little ewe want his presence.

"Let us get her back at the residency... And make sure to file a report on this matter." Scooping up the frail woman, he realized. You're much lighter than he originally thought.

"Understood, sir!" The cryo stood up and dusted herself off.

It was a long walk until the Fatui base, they weren't scheduled to leave until the 7th moon had risen. Capitano isn't going to lie, but the peaceful look upon his ewe's face is sweet as lace. But in a case like this, you would need a lot of space.

Finding it undeniably adorable of her when your arms wrapped around him once he tried to set you down on his bed. "Warm..." Mumbling in sleep, ironically. There's nothing warm on his metallic armor, unless you count the heavy coat that was meant for heavy winter.

Capitano didn't have a choice but to join the ewe in slumber. The bed creaked at the weight of another person joining in. Soon time had the smaller woman cuddle up close to him. So close that your face is agaisnt his broad chest, hand too. Like a lover would.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• Finally awaken, surrounded by unfamiliar things, even the room is thrice as big as your own home. No one but you on the bed. A knock sounded, "excuse my intrusion." A person entered, it was a maid with a trolley. Quietly they placed a warm meal on the table.

"please enjoy, miss _____. Master Capitano is expecting you soon. Do you have a preferred outfit?" The maid asked.

"I-I'm fine with my clothes. Where am I?" Now sitting down despite what happened, the flower lady needs answers.

"you're in Capitano's chambers, a temporary residency for the Fatui." Fatui, you had heard rumors of them before. None of them were as noble than the one from last night's incident.

"I ... I see.." the (h/c) woman sighed a bit.

"No need to feel so sadden, my lady. Sir Capitano would be pleased to see you awaken." The maid's face seem to smile, yet there's a bit of fright in them.

"I-I'm sure.." looking down at the tray, this this surely more than what she usually eat..

"who is Lord Capitano?" A question left your mouth, like a ghost, the maid is gone. Presumably went to fetch some beverage. It felt like an eternity when the meal given to you was finished. Swiftly, there's already a set of clothes for you to wear. You swear that maid is like a ninja or something from Inazuma.

After a quick bath, with a help of a maid to get there. You insisted on bathing yourself, the water felt nice on your skin. That quickly followed to dressing yourself up, it was a thin white dress. The material is soft almost cotton like.

Looking at yourself on the mirror, not being able to recognize yourself. Just a woman with white apparel that could easily be affiliated with religious people, the design is simple. But even that could cost you, your house for it.

Before you could talk to the maid about who is Capitano, the same knight from months ago entered.

"I assumed there is no problems?" He asked, the maid stepped away from you and bowed to him.

"none at all Sir." "Dismissed." With one word, out of the door she goes.

"Are you feeling better, ewe?" He asked after the silence between you two, tilting your head at the pet name.

"yes, a little bit.." Fiddling your hands out of nervousness. Didn't expect him to come back even though you did told him you'll be there, even if your home went up to flames.

"I-I'm sorry to meet you like this. I would have some dried fruits and iced mint tea to offer to you as payment..." Tears started to fell, as you didn't know what caused your home. No one but him has discovered the secret haven. Tears started to fell as the people that painted her as a witch, showed only a lamb to be pushed for needless slaughter.

"no need... Little ewe, for now on. You're coming with me." You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"what?" He huffs, "unless you want to go back to that broken home. It is best to be under me, where I can keep an eye on you." Answering you.

"What if I'll get in the way? What would you do if because of me people..." Tears fell down more. As if the man before you didn't commit any atrocious deeds to obtain your information.

"I'm not called a Captain without a reason. Rest assured, little ewe." He gotten near, an arm around your body to 'comfort' you.

Oh little Ewe, even when the Gods above tries to separate you with your Dragon. It only strength his dark resolve for their own arrogance to do the will of the Tsaritsa and have you by his side as one of her people to shepherd. Afterall, what is a bewitching witch without her knight to protect her?

Just realized half way through, that the story kinda resembles La Signora's backstory... Should I even dare to replace her as temporary Harbinger? Or maybe even a pretender to make her seem more .. fit? Idk.

I'm sorry that the pronouns and the you's are all mixed up. I couldn't decide on which pov.

Thinking of either having Pantalone or Childe fics next. Do you guys want Arlecchino and Columbina in here as well? It is a first time for me to write a lesbian fic, but I didn't want to ruin the fun with my incredibly lacking experience.

Criticism is welcomed since this is a first fic and i wanted to get use to it so I can improve..

(genshin requests are available)

#reader insert #capitano #genshin x reader #fatui harbingers #fatui capitano #capitano x you #Fatui agenda #capitano x reader

[spurious]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thank you for the tag, @wonkyelk & @sga-owns-my-soul!

How many works do you have on AO3?

103, a number which recently shot up due to me posting all of my random tumblr ficlets to my AO3 account lmao. Previously it was, like, 70.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

267,356

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's pretty much all SGA all the time over here. I am enjoying dabbling in Genshin when the mood strikes though, love the yuripeans <3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Twenty Questions

Ink and Wings

Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers

Solitary in a Wide Flat Space

Abercrombie & Rodney

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to, at least, though sometimes my responses are painfully delayed. I like hearing what people think about a story, I want them to know their comments are loved and appreciated, and sometimes you end up getting into a discussion like back in the Good Old Days on LJ.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Man I really do not write a ton of stuff that doesn’t end happily /just went through all my fics

Angstiest ending of things I've posted is probably either the Kanjani superheroes AU or the apocalypse akame fic? Has my tolerance for writing lengthy angst lessened with age?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I said above, most of my stuff seems to have relatively happy endings. If I were to pick I might say O I Think We Should Be Brethren, because it takes the longest and hardest journey to the ending, which makes it feel more impactful to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got one "hate" comment on the Kanjani cannibalism fic from someone who thought I was sick and needed therapy, or something to that effect. Otherwise, nope.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I would say my smut wheelhouse is kinky porn with feelings, I guess?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe one or two of my fics in Johnny's fandom were translated into Russian and/or Chinese?

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not to completion!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

how dare you make me choose between my children

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Story I started for a fic exchange in, like, god...2014 or so? In which Yoko kisses Hina, then hits his head and wakes up in a world that's just a shamelessly silly amalgam of J-drama tropes. Sometimes I read through the doc and go "man i wish the author would update"

16. What are your writing strengths?

Sensory description, wanky poetic bullshit, smut, scenes with no more than two people in them, banter-y dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings, complex plots, ensemble casts, scenes with three or more people in them, transitions, being a complete baby about taking criticism, endings, endings

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't see a reason for it? You either need to add a gloss with a translation (if your POV character and audience are intended to understand it), at which point you may as well just write "Screw you, McKay," Zelenka said in Czech; or you want it to be incomprensible to the reader, at which point you may as well just write Zelenka muttered something in Czech as he stomped away. If your reader happens to understand the language you've written in and you're not confident in it, they'll be annoyed by the weird grammar you've gotten from google translating it, and even if you are, you're losing the effect of someone having said something that your POV character shouldn't understand.

......................apparently I have an Opinion on this? who knew.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Cardcaptor Sakura, when I was like 13? I may have posted it on FF.net but if there's a god it's been lost to the sands of time. I do not think it was very good.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Shouldn't be surprising at this point for me to pick O I Think We Should Be Brethren for this, right? I just think it's neat.

Tagging (I've seen this one circulate a fair bit so apologies if you've been multiple-tagged): @audioletter @sparrowsarus @texasdreamer01 @luredin @alienfuckeronmain

#fic rambles #tag thingies #my long-winded response on dialog in other languages is probably an occupational hazard thing lol

[delilah705]

I just think Kni is self-aware enough to connect the dots in his head; raising his child and leading a sadistic genocidal syndicate cult is not something you can do at exactly the same time, you technically could if you wanted to raise your baby in that type of environment, but there are plenty of things to consider.

As fucking terrible Kni is at any sort of emotional relationship and genuine connections over all, that doesn't mean he can't hold some layer of common sense, no ideal father human or otherwise who holds their beloved baby's best interest at heart would ever agree to raise them in coalition with mass punishment and genocide.

And that's not to even mention the incredible fucking responsibility a baby requires. All natural organisms begin as the most weakest lifeforms around, a baby. And delicately take into account all the tender, life-saving care the surrogate will need right after.

Having a baby is not sunshine and rainbows. Not as easy as anime or television puts it, Heavens no. It's the longest, most difficult trip any parent will drive across.

It's going to act like a fucking baby. It will drain your patience, test your general tolerance, your every little action and decision made around your baby will impact its future one way or another. Because a baby is the purest, most absolute test of moral responsibility and basic commitment.

( It may start out way too fucking young to remember really anything you did to properly build it to journey across the world, especially a dying one such as Gunsmoke, but it doesn't decrease the inevitable importance of taking the right steps to ensuring your child grows healthy; walking with an aural acceptance of themselves and how to eventually educate themselves if you can't be there to lend a guiding hand. Time is not refundable. It is a fleeting plane of existence for mortal humans. Every minute, every thought, every memory, every single decision is of critical importance because we can not simply wait out the consequences.)

And Kni's entire character trait is his disregard for others and their morality, but this child isn't some random child picked off a whim from the street. From the filthy dunes of ruined towns and suck churches.

This child is Kni's, spurred from a union between an Independent Plant and a simple, solitary human. His own blood and flesh, of his eyes and fingers, half of his own original genes float inside that tiny, fragile vessel that he helped create. It sprouted from a natural seed swimming inside him and then blossomed, taking such beautiful root inside his most dearest bride-to-be.

You will not convince me that child is not one of the very few things still alive that can drag a vulnerability out of Kni, which while is a fucking miracle, proves Kni has and will never be completely devoid of emotion no matter how hard he pushes himself off the fucking line.

And 98' Kni is cunning enough to question himself about this, about you, about raising this child while pursuing the end of his wife's own species. He will be questioned about it from that child, and it won't matter how manipulative Kni is, how deeply he attempts to cover up the truth once the child matures. He will be pryed open, seen, heard, listened to by that child because he will be raising it, as it's literal father aside the mother.

'Would they hate me if I did it?' Kni denies it, but he fears loneliness just as deeply as Vash does, though that fear may not be big enough to overthrow his hatred of Humanity his love for family is for just a moment, as last minute as it maybe in canon, a moment is all it takes.

He can live with Vash rejecting him, with his wife resenting him, but his child?

Does he put his child above his selfish hypocrisy? How far would he go to prove that he loves his little one, peacefully raise them happy and energetic in a filthless world devoid of human greed and fear? After everything he suffered?

Could he bear the burden his own child despises him?

SDgauj0s- Sorry this took me so long to get back to! XD You just kinda activated my baby fever and I had to take a little bit like fuck. Now I really wanna write about him interacting with a baby. Damnit! Aaaaa- Omg. You put me into 'want to write Knives being a dad but not sure which fic or start new fic' and I still haven't figured it out so I'm a little frustrated rn. But see, I originally wanted to address this sort of thing with him from the uncle perspective for a specific fic (well, two actually. One is just a different canon), but it's not gonna happen for a while. Because I really do think, depending on the situation, he'd have the same reservations about the whole human extinction perspective if he had niece(s)/nephew(s) to now think about who are half human, especially being able to interact with them in a manner where they're reaching their little pudgy hands up towards him and blowing raspberries at him. Fuuuccck.. This has me so soft rn hhhhh-

What I wanna do though is probably going to take place in the distant future. Like, maybe even two years (or more?) from now, who knows? But I cannot post it at this point in time. XD It's not there yet! I still have so much more plot and world building before I can and I just--- Ugh! So much I wanna do with these particular fics and I just can't yet! I've been holding onto these ideas for years now! It's driving me nuts! I can pre-write as much as I want but I just cannot share until the story gets there and I!!!! Augh! XD And I really did hope to address how fucking tough it is to be pregnant and actually have a baby in one (or a few? One in particular in mind rn, but I might do more, who knows?) of my fics because hoooo boy, even though I have not had one myself, this right here is why. There's just sooo much that goes on during pregnancy and so many things that can go wrong for both the mother and the baby. And seeing what my sister had to put up with, not only with her husband, but the constant crying and midnight feedings, pregnancy recovery, baby illnesses and constant care and supervision, whew.

I like to joke she had enough for the both of us and that I don't intend to have any because boy howdy! Have I not found a man I'd be willing to go through all of that for. Nope. He better fucking put in his 50% that's all I'm saying or I might just be driven to commit a crime. But fictional babies? Fictional men holding fictional babies?!?!? I go feral! I lose my mind! I'll read and write fictional baby fics all day! hell yeah! Give me that domestic cute shit! Love it! Love reading about fictional men being good husbands and dads. Fuck yes. It just really sucks that rn all my ideas for these are for longer, on-going fics and I'm not there yet!!! XD But I'm also really weak for doesn't know what to do husband/dad but is trying his best and willing to learn. Like fuck yes. 10/10 Would read and write that all day. And this part right here!!!: "your every little action and decision made around your baby will impact its future one way or another. Because a baby is the purest, most absolute test of moral responsibility and basic commitment." This is what scares me most about having a baby. This. That is a tiny person upon which your every word and action, they will be taking in, learning from you, and they need you there to shape and mold their life, their choices, their experiences. And I just- That scares me.

I honestly think the internet is a little too harsh on parents sometimes. Like yes, there are terrible people out there who should have never been parents. And maybe they fucked you up horribly, maybe they were awful, but my parents, doubtlessly there are people out there who have my experiences where it's like, yes, they fucked me up. Some of the things they've said or done cannot be undone, but at the end of the day, no matter what, I have to realize that they had no fucking clue what they were doing. There's absolutely no way you can be 100% prepared to raise a child. None. No matter how many books you read, how much advice you're given, you're going to run across something you have no idea how to deal with in your kid's life. There's gonna be those times where all your current choices do not seem like the right choice, and they're all gonna have their own unique consequences. Sometimes you just gotta acknowledge that depending on your parents, some of them did the best they could with the best they had. Some of them did not mean to fuck you up like that (though I know there are some out there who just… Are awful period. Literally locking their kids in a room to not have to deal with them or even attempting to murder them or hurting them on purpose), some of them just had no idea that that decision would do what it did to you.

And sometimes, I've come to realize, as a parent, sometimes the choices are between your kids hating you and you saving your kid's life or preventing them from making choices they might regret later in life. Your job as a parent is not to be their friend, it is to be their guidance, discipline, role model. Your job is to give them all the tools in life they need to survive and teach them how to act in the outside world, raise and care for them until they're old enough to make their own decisions, not make them like you and cater to their every desire and whim. Yes, maybe you really like playing in the road, it's a big open space and big loud fast things go by on it, but no, you cannot play there no matter how much you scream and squall and think it's unfair. And yes, maybe you hate your parents for not letting you have sleepovers or go to prom by yourself, but there are a lot of things that could go wrong. My mom was always afraid of me being mistreated or raped or molested. And while it felt unfair, having a friend's older brother touch me inappropriately not a year or so ago as an adult made me realize just how scary and real that situation is. And worse for a child to go through! And I was disallowed to go to prom because my parents did not trust my friends (for good reason!) Sure, I cried, but I'm really thankful they didn't let me go now, because while back then it felt really unfair and I felt cheated, that it was a once in a lifetime thing that I was missing out on, I don't trust now that those people wouldn't have embarrassed me horribly or something worse.

Being a parent isn't easy. And while you might cry I was abused by being switched (hit with a flexible branch for discipline. Mostly flower tree branches as they're tender. Because they have give, they're more likely to leave stripes of red on your skin than like, cause bone or organ injury like a sturdy branch would and we were usually thwapped on the thigh near the rear. XD That shit hurt but hey, I wasn't a brat who screamed and threw a tantrum in the store when I didn't get what I wanted, didn't hit my parents or other people, and didn't steal or spill or break things on purpose in stores or anywhere else) as a kid, it kept me from doing stupid shit and I'm not dead or severely injured because I didn't listen when they told me not to get too close to a high ledge on the unfinished house. I didn't end up dead or severely injured from falling into the high creek water from rain, and I learned my lesson of not running in the gravel by scraping up my knee reeaaall good to figure out that, 'Hey, maybe they were right to yell at me not to run. Even if it hurt my feelings and made me cry.' To them, me being unharmed and alive and safe was better than whatever I was feeling at the moment. Yeah, maybe I got issues, but I'm still thankful for them (my parents, I mean), and I'd argue the people around me fucked me up more than they ever did.

I know that's not the case for all parents, but there are some who are really just trying, and you don't really know what you're getting into until it's far too late when it comes to having kids. And hey, I'm just thankful they had me at all. I wouldn't be here, talking to you, or writing fanfiction if they hadn't had me. Parenthood isn't perfect, ever. And sometimes, parents just really do need some slack cut for them. Not all of them are evil, awful people. They're just as damaged as everyone else, trying to get by with what they were taught, and trying to raise you as best they can. Sorry to go off on this tangent, but this is something I really hope to tackle in the future. Might not be anytime soon, but eventually. And I know I can't really give a perfect or at least somewhat realistic depiction without having experienced it. So it'll be through a lens that I can only imagine, taking in as much outside information as possible in hopes I can somehow get at least some of it right. And even then, not every parenthood experience and child will be the same between people.

Awww, man, though, I just--- XD I keep looking at what you wrote and keep wanting to write something soft and I- Can't decide what project to put this into! I'm kinda internally grumbling because no matter how I tackle it, it's gonna be slightly different and I can't decide which or both. I'm starting to realize maybe my readers want more baby/soft pregnancy fics than I realize… I keep looking at all these comments for certain fics, like PROJECT ZERO, Shattered, my Creatures of the Forest fics,... and I notice I keep cutting it short of or skipping the actual pregnancy or child rearing experience, and I just… I'm caught between going back and adding more onto some of these fics, or just tackling this part in separate fic(s). Dang it…

#Sfw #Ask #someweirdoreblogger

[if-i-had-a-voice-i-would-sing]

TBC 30 day challenge

Day 28: one thing you regret the most

So full transparency, I’ve been leaving longer and longer gaps between my entries on this challenge because I’m decidedly Not Doing Well as of late. The longer we go without TBC, the more it sets in for me that it’s truly gone, and it just so happens that this grief is coinciding with the return of my seasonal depression (just layered on top of the regular depression, naturally). And today, the news about SNM has been another painful blow to my already less than ideal mental state. I’ve been reluctant to reach the end of this challenge because it means saying goodbye to the show again, in a way. And I’m not ready to do that.

Maudlin preamble aside, I have to get to it eventually. So, even if it’s been well over 28 days since I started this journey, we’ll address today’s question.

First off, I regret not finding the discord server sooner. I’ve never been a part of a community like this, and as wonderful as my solitary shows all were, there was something so profoundly comforting about knowing that I could drop into the city on any given night and be guaranteed a few familiar faces. I was never alone in my love of the show again, neither in the city nor online. It was a blessing and a joy to meet the people I did, but I wish I’d had more time to share this wonderful show with them, and to enjoy getting to know them better. (To any discord people reading this - thank you. You’ve been an absolute delight to get to know, and our shared love of this show has been a lighthouse these past few months.)

My second regret is one I’ve had since my very first show - it is what I wrote on my first and only napkin. I regret that I couldn’t be a part of this. Since my experience with SNM in 2018, my dearest dream has been performing in a punchdrunk show. It’s all I’ve wanted, and for a while it seemed entirely out of reach, given the how long the UK was without a new mask show. But then out of the blue this show emerged, and reminded me of what I’d been dreaming of - and I wasn’t ready. I’d let adults convince me that dance school was a mistake, I’d be better studying theatre in an academic capacity. I’d let the pandemic sap away my fitness and confidence in dancing. And even then, when open auditions were announced and I thought I might at least have a chance to try for my dream, technical issues got in the way and I once again missed out. After that disappointment I remember my father saying “you’ve got time. They’ll need more performers again one day soon, and you’ll be ready to apply then.” And so I trained harder than ever to get back to my former skill level, and pushed through my worsening disability because I knew that this is my calling. They’ll need performers again, and I’ll be here. But now the city will never need performers again, and all that’s left is my deep regret for a life lived at odds with my dream, and all the wrong decisions I made that have seemingly stolen my last chance at it from me. Dancers tend to age out of the industry young, and I’m so profoundly aware of my own ticking clock. I wish I could’ve been part of the city, while it was still an option.

But my biggest regret in regard to TBC is that I didn’t experience more. I saw a good deal, but there’s still so much I missed. So many early visits sticking with what I knew rather than venturing into the unknown again. So many character loops abandoned in favour of ones I was confident in enjoying. This whole thing should be about enjoyment, of course, but as someone who was still finding new delights right until the very end (my first full Luba and Askalaphos loops weren’t until my final week with the show!), I wish I’d been more patient in letting characters win me over. They would have, I know it, each and every one. I wish I’d had more time, and more wisdom, to get to know the show as thoroughly as it deserved.

#the burnt city #immersive theatre #punchdrunk #tbc 30 day challenge

[risingsilence]

I’m currently looking to write some new rp, here are basically all my “rules”, info about how i write and plots from my amino account. comment or shoot me a message if interested.

have some music to accompany you while you’re going through the post~

>I’m used to writing in 3rd person and this is my preferred writing style

>lit. | adv. lit | novella

>please don’t control my character

>with all my plots I assume that they can develop into smvt, if you don’t want that in our rp please disclose it before we begin writing

>if you’re a minor I’m not comfortable writing smvt with you, sorry i’m an adult

>I struggle with mental health a lot, so I’m probably not ignoring you although I will do my best to let you know if I won’t be able to reply for an extended period of time

>my only trigger warning is explicit animal cruelty, please let me know about yours before we begin

>I don’t do sole fluff

>If you want to write something together, send me a message with my plot you’d like to write or message me your own idea I’m open to these as well

Onto plots we go:

>Canon

>Angst rating 1/3

>Ganyu x Xiao (will write both)

Months pass after Ganyu received guidance in her adepti training, however even though she tried her best the memory of the solitary conqueror of demons still clouds her mind. When an opportunity arises, she makes her way to Jueyun Karst where she receives directions as to where to seek Xiao. He is reluctant to let her close at first, but soon enough the two realize that they have much more in common that they have initially thought. Their shared loneliness and the yearning for the human world.

>canon

>angst rating 1/3

>Albedo x Xiao (will write both)

Not knowing where to proceed further in his research of “the meaning of this world” Albedo embarks on a journey around Teyvat. Caught of guard he gets ambushed by a tribe of hilichurls, but a mysterious stranger shrouded in dark mist comes to his rescue. Fascinated Albedo decides to follow and study him, even if the other does not return the sentiment.

>canon

>angst rating 1/3

>Kokomi x Kazuha x Gorou (will write all)

>I do intend this scenario for 3 writers, I’ve written rp’s like that so it is achievable even with longer replies. If you’re interested in this scenario please shoot me a message and we can either wait around for the third person or you’re very welcome to recommend someone

When the vision hunt decree is announced a rebellion forms on the Watatsumi Island under the rein of Snagonomiya Kokomi. Many a great warriors arise among the ranks, but two shine even greater than the rest. Soon to be General Gorou and Kazuha, a wandering soul. Those two soon become the closest confidants to Sangonomiya Kokomi, but behind the closed doors military tactics aren’t the only thing which blooms into life.

>canon

>angst rating 3/3

>Ei x Yae Miko (will write both)

Ei leaves the plane of Euthymia to take in the world outside and witness the great nation Inazuma developed into during her absence. Among the differences however, one thing remains the same, Yae Miko. To that stability and certainty, Ei is soon drawn and the two grow closer than they have been in millennia. But even though the love is sweet, bitterness soon mixes in when Yae Miko realizes she might not be in love with Ei, but the memory of Makoto which is preserved in her.

>canon

>angst rating 2/3 possibly 3/3

>Traveler x Xiao (will write Xiao)

TW! body horror

It’s been a while since the traveler has visited Liyue, but the approaching Lantern Rite and the longing to see familiar faces leads them there sooner than anticipated. Among their stops is Wangshu Inn and a meeting with a certain yaksha. Although neither of them would admit it out loud, their thoughts often drifted to one another while they were apart.

Soon however, something rather peculiar comes to the Travelers attention when they feel up a pair of, what seems to be horns, growing atop Xiaos head.

>au! reincarnation, modern setting, immortal venti

>angst rating ?/3 (depending what kind of back story we can conjure up for them together 😈)

>Venti x Xiao (will write both)

>theme song: Immortal by Reinaery

Venti is an indie musician. Perhaps their music isn’t the most popular out there, but they have a dedicated group of fans. Soon it even becomes possible to rent a cosy venue for their first ever concert.

More people than expected show up and the evening passes in comforting atmosphere. “Comfort” was often the word associated with the music Venti made.

After the show wraps up, to avoid unnecessary commotion, Venti exits through the back entrance where he bumps into someone smoking a cigarette.

Xiao is stunned to run into his idol he just saw on the stage for the first time. Venti on the contrary, freezes in shock, because there is no good way to tell someone you just met, that you have spent hundreds of years looking for them.

FIN.

#looking for roleplay #roleplay #genshin impact rp #genshin rp #rp plots #xiaoven #genshin angst #eimiko #xiaoaether #xiaolumi #kazuha #kokomi #gorougenshinimpact #xiao x ganyu #bxb rp #gxg rp #nbxnb #Spotify #SoundCloud

[lauralot89]

One Perfect Moment

(There's not full out vomit in this clip, but the character does gag and spit out food)

In Under the Skin (2014), an alien disguised as a beautiful woman lures men to her home, where they are then trapped and processed as meat for her planet's consumption.

By this point in the film, the alien has decided she doesn't want to participate in this any longer and has run away. Her first act of defiance, of trying to become human, is to eat cake.

It's interesting that it was a genuine connection with a human that convinced the alien to go rogue, but her first human act is so solitary. Maybe it's because she fears being discovered if she interacts with others, or maybe it's because she feels guilt for the men she killed. Or it could simply be that cake is easy. It's food. She understands food, that's why she's here.

Except she doesn't. The alien cannot eat. Whether it's a physiological impossibility or a taste/texture issue or some combination thereof, she can't do it. What should be a triumphant act of defiance, the first step in her journey towards human connection, ends with her gagging as others stare but keep their distance

I love the subtle ways that this outcome is foreshadowed: the extended shot of her hand trembling as she inches the fork toward her mouth, the way her jaw is shaking when she's trying not to gag.

And, as discussed in my last perfect moment, I love that the scene perfectly lays out what's to come. The alien wants to be human. She wants to experience human things. But when she tries, they are painful and impossible. When her later actions put her in direct contact with humans, this becomes even more pronounced.

[Cake is better than sex, but she can't have either one]

It's such a human desire and it's met with such futility. If you had told me before I watched this that someone could give me all these feelings about ScarJo failing to eat cake--well, I'd believe you because that sounds like me, but I wouldn't have thought this was how it would be done

It's a gorgeous tragic movie and it's a gorgeous tragic scene

perfect moment, no notes

#Under the Skin meta #Under the Skin spoilers #food #one perfect moment #Youtube

[moonlatias]

The Path Thus Far...

(Long post ahead. Just FYI, I write a lot, and I write a lot often. Get used to it if you want to stick around, lol.)

On Good Friday, April 2, 2021, I sat down and opened a journal for the first time. As a Catholic who had not been to church in years, I knew I had gone long enough without practicing the faith I had grown up with. I knew I was stagnating spiritually, and there was an emptiness in my heart that I now wished to address. But Christianity had been spoiled for me for a long time now. The specifics of which maybe are too personal to share now, but I just knew that while still I respected Jesus and his teachings, and still felt a connection to these traditions, I could no longer associate with it. Too many vile people, too many things I found myself questioning. Perhaps I'll leave it at that.

So on a day that, to me, symbolized death with the hope of something new to come, I began to write in my journal. I questioned everything I had been told to accept as true my whole life, and committed myself to seeking other possibilities, something that had previously been unthinkable. I needed to be reborn spiritually, and while I didn't begin my path thinking I would stop being Christian, I accepted it as a possibility. Wherever my exploration took me, I would be open to it.

And now, a year and a half later, I find myself no longer Christian at all. I am pagan now. And specifically, Wiccan.

My journey is still relatively new, and it is never over. I'm always open to learning new things. What I know for sure, though, is that meeting the God and Goddess has transformed me in ways I never could have imagined.

In truth, the Radiant Horned God is the god I have been praying to from the beginning; he has never stopped loving me, and has been patient for the moment when I was ready to understand myself and the universe the way I was always meant to. Even as a child, I never prayed to Jesus. He was my friend, certainly, but all my prayers began with "Dear God..." He was never the strict father they told me he was, the one full of wrath in the Old Testament, before suddenly becoming the forgiving god of the New Testament--but only if you obeyed and believed in him; otherwise, you would go to hell and it would be your own fault regardless of the circumstances. I never understood that; the God I prayed to was the loving father who never punished, never scolded, never judged. He loved me unconditionally, eased my sadness when I felt alone, and encouraged me to come to him only when I truly understood my own limitations and weaknesses and could not do it myself. When I began to pray to the God of Wicca... he felt exactly the same as the one I'd been speaking to my whole life.

The Goddess has always been a quiet, divine feminine presence in my life. First in the guise of Mother Mary, before entering my heart and my thoughts so I could explore worshiping her secretly. At first I thought her presence was just an imaginative idea, and I created a "goddess" character in my creative writings to explore and work with. In time, I loved this character and respected her as if she were a real divine mother; working with her in my stories reshaped my own personal, real-life world view and made me receptive to the possibility of goddess worship, reincarnation, and paganism. I certainly didn't know that then, but I do now. She, too, was patiently waiting for the moment in my life when I would be ready to understand and see her for who she was. Once I shed the chains of the old dogma, I could worship her freely, and know that she'd always been there for me.

I'm not a traditional Wiccan--far from it. I'm a solitary, private person by nature already, so being able to pursue a similarly solitary, private path in Wicca was genuinely relieving and freeing. I also love and appreciate the freedom to determine my own path--my own traditions, rituals, practices, beliefs. Hence, the eclectic Wiccan path. But nothing I put into this practice is without study, without consideration, without research, without mindfulness. Everything has a purpose, a meaning, and adds to my spiritual understanding. I don't pick and choose randomly. I try to question everything I read, and everything that I do. This has only strengthened my faith and connection to the divine.

My goal here on my blog is to record the things I do and work through why I do them, with the hope that being able to look back on them will prove enlightening. But I also hope that it can help others in a way, too. Even if I have a solitary eclectic path that is my own and no one else's, I have found value and knowledge from the various experiences of others. I hope to give back by sharing my own.

Blessed be to all of you. Even if we don't walk the same path or share the same beliefs, the world is brighter because we can all shine in it together.

#wicca #eclectic wicca #paganism #personal #god #goddess #ex catholic #ex christian #luciferianism #theistic luciferianism #upg #intro

[dvoxah]

This post contains my rules, a tad of info about myself and my D'Vorah's About page. This post should make it easier for those that do not go to the blog fully/friendly for mobile users

Name’s Ash, I’m 24, I've been writing for over 10+ years, and I am mostly here to have fun!! I dropped writing for a while due to life and the like, but I'm tossing my hat back into the ring since I do adore my dear bug lady.. my lovely,,,

{ RULES + ABOUT }

1. While this is a Mortal Kombat blog, do not attack my muse unless it is a prompt or we plot it out. After all, plotted out Kombat is far better than not, wouldn’t you agree?

2. Do NOT take control of my muse, not unless you are guiding her somewhere but that is about it. There are few things I will allow with such things, but to be near written off with how my character reacts to things until it’s my turn just doesn’t sit well.

3. This blog is multiship, meaning I will ship with multiple characters. However, it is going to take quite some time before crossing into such territory when it comes to D'Vorah. Chemistry is a MUST/we discuss things HEAVILY beforehand

4. On that note, I will NOT write smut with anyone below the age of 18, characters or mun. I could get in serious trouble. If you’re an adult and are uncomfortable with NSFW, then we do not have to write such things.

5. Speaking of NSFW, everything regarding something of the sort WILL be put under a read more {from Gore to sex}. While I won’t write much of such in terms of sexual things, considering the facts when it comes to D'Vorah, it’s still a note to be put.

6. Being semi-selective simply means I pick who I interact with is all. I am not mutual exclusive, so feel free to interact

7. I am OC and crossover friendly! I find it fun to throw D'Vorah into new situations, especially where she is uncertain of her surroundings. And interacting with OCs is always a treat but do be sure to have some information about your OC!

My D'Vorah is Canon Divergent/Based on the MKX comic - meaning her story AND how she acts is a bit different compared to the canon counterpart in the games mainly. Under is her background/history, at the bottom there is a TL;DR so you can skim and get an idea of how I play her story/how she acts. I do also play along the canon D'Vorah, but that is an 'ask first' type ordeal if anything

Arnyek is a massive island realm, lush in terms of forest, plants and diverse wildlife, surrounded by a cold sea and smaller islands around it. The Kytinn, a race of insect-like humanoid beings, live in the dead-center of the largest island, having underground tunnels that they carved and made their home, with some choosing to live within massive trees as well. Different types of them live together within the Hive, working together and being diligent in their duties picked for them. They lived such a life for centuries, content with their numbers and their way of life. Not caring for other realm problems, for they only cared for their own. There had been stories of some Kytinn journeying to another realm for a short time before returning, actual history of that, however, is but whispers among the insectoids. Myths that they shared that never were sought to be correct... but never thought to be untrue. D'Vorah, the current Kytinn Queen after the death of the previous, watches over all. She consults the Elder Kytinn when large choices are to be made for they have been around for longer than she or even some previous Queens. Some decisions she makes on her own terms if it benefits the whole Hive in her eyes. Caring not for the bitter looks she gains from the elder insect humanoid beings, for it was for the better of the Hive in the end.

It was a solitary life, they enjoyed it for that in itself. Until Shao Kahn invaded their home. D'Vorah was quick to try and preserve her people after he slaughtered the Elders who had been in a heated discussion over many things out of the Hive and on the shores of Arnyek, D'Vorah dared to not care to join in the arguments of how to defend themselves for it was far too late. Vowing her service to him which only led to Arnyek being near absorbed into Outworld. The Kytinn moved their Hive to the outskirts of Outworld to try and rebuild their life under this new rule, making them restless in a matter of the word. Still trying to adapt to this new life, as that was something they knew well to do. It still made many talk and chitter within the darkness of the new home...

With the idea whispered around the ranks that the Kytinn would attempt to fight back and infest the realm all over if allowed to grow too much, Shao Kahn took to burning the Hive they had created. Taking torches to different openings found to ensure the most effective eradication of their numbers. Smoke and flame devoured the Hive, many panicking and making it difficult on themselves when it came to escape.

D'Vorah could save only few Kytinn, many being lost in the process as she tried to guide them through the flames. She had to make Shao Kahn believe her to be the last of her kind, that she had been away from the Hive when he had burned it. Taking to their swarm forms to try and hide away where they were able was what the Kytinn chose to do in order to survive. To lay in wait, while D'Vorah tried to think of a way to return her people home, or at the very least find a safer place as to grow the numbers once more without others knowing as to not have such a horrific event happen again. She would protect the Hive at all costs, no matter what it would take.

For the safety of her own kind and herself, D'Vorah could only follow the commands given to her by Shao Kahn, who seemed more than pleased at her sorrow for the people that were lost due to the purge he had done. She despised him, as any would, but kept such feelings under wraps… she needed to keep up her role, to work her way up. A feign of pure loyalty, as if she had nothing else to concern herself about - not having anymore people to think about, at least Shao Kahn believed she didn't.

With Shao Kahn's rule coming to an end, and Mileena's began, D'Vorah could have cared less. She couldn't return to her own kind, and it especially became tougher when Mileena would choose to trouble her with her little games. D'Vorah's patience with her grew thin quite quickly, and when Kotal came to talk to her and the others, she was highly skeptical of him, but offered what she could.

D'Vorah didn't know what to expect when it came to this Osh-Tekk, and when he became Kahn, she became highly wary of him. Even when he appointed her as his advisory, her instincts were not to trust him. For who knew how he would truly rule now that he was Emperor. And yet, seeing how he treated her, and the people, it quickly broke down the walls that prevented the Kytinn from trusting him to her full extent. It was a surprise to even herself in the end.

And due to such, she would do anything for Kotal Kahn. Follow him to the ends of Outworld and toss herself into danger for him should she need to, and she has. As much as Kytinn despised humanoid creatures, D'Vorah couldn't help but put her trust and loyalty into the new Kahn, only wishing to serve him and see his reign prosper. It all went awry when another Kytinn - one D'Vorah thought to be trusting enough to allow close - joined Shinnok's side and betrayed D'Vorah and those she sent them to work alongside...

MK11 {{short... for now}}

With D'Vorah staying beside Kotal instead of betraying him, she comes from an alternate timeline when it comes to the past and future. It was by accident she arrived in such a timeline, and to see what was possible made her angered at her other self. How could she betray Kotal as if he was nothing? He had done plenty to aid her and her people, at least when it came to her experience. But, apparently, not in this timeline. This timeline was different. Very different.

With tensions high due to how her other timeline self had ruined any and all trust in a Kytinn, D'Vorah finds herself lost and only wishes to try to aid those around her if possible - not that any wish for her help in thought she would easily betray them as well due to how her other self has acted and showed. Who knew if she was lying or not?

She can only try to gain trust, to try and show she is not as much of a threat as her counterpart. But for now... she simply keeps to herself. Trying to figure everything out as she goes.

TL;DR:

Shao Kahn invades Arnyek and easily takes it over. Kytinn try to make new home. Hive gets burned by Shao Kahn. D'Vorah saves few Kytinn, but plays it off like she is the last remaining one. Suffers the work put onto her. Shao Kahn is dealt with, ushering in Mileena. Mileena loves to pick on D'Vorah in particular. Kotal comes to her and the rest of the group to talk them into aiding him in taking the throne. D'Vorah becomes his advisory/first minister and slowly comes to put all her loyalty right into him and would follow him to the end. It is another Kytinn that D'Vorah thought to be loyal that betrays everyone and follows after Shinnok, to somewhat challenge which of the two would be better suited for leading the Kytinn and which side would prevail....

#ABOUT #RULES #{{ Boi o boi that a lot of story and will only grow more when I think about other events dfshs #can you tell I have a favourite icon fhsdfh}}

[perwian]

The queer loneliness as represented in All of us Strangers(has spoilers)

Allow me to introduce myself a bit

Queer loneliness is loneliness is a feeling many of us in the community experience. Without going too far, it’s something I’ve been dealing with quite recently. As a shy person, it has always been challenging for me to express myself to others. This, coupled with my lack of sociability with strangers and my reluctance to use dating apps, has rendered my love life rather dull.

Some might say, “Hey, you can be fine on your own!” But it’s not just about that. My parents are so conservative that I’ve had to come out of the closet not once, but twice, and yet they still ignore it and act homophobic in front of me.

‘All of us Strangers’ an Ode to Queer Love

‘All of Us Strangers’ was released a year ago, in 2023. I recently had the opportunity to watch it, and I felt so seen. So many issues I’ve faced were projected in the movie. From seemingly trivial (yet scarring) things like parental figures telling you to correct gestures (because in their view, it’s something attributed to queer people), to feeling like a stranger in your own family and gradually distancing yourself from it.

The film introduces us two main characters Adam and Harry, whose are neighbors in an empty building. Adam comes from a family he could never express himself to cause they passed away early in his life. When his family returns as ghosts, he gets a chance to finally reveal his sexual orientation to them. Through interactions with his deceased parents, he manages to heal from the wounds he sustained while growing up (bullying, fear of STDs) that made him feel he would always be alone.

Harry, on the other hand, comes from a family where he’s been “accepted,” although he says his parents just don’t talk about it and he stopped visiting them. He always felt like a stranger in his family, but when he came out, it felt like they had a reason to let him push himself away from the family. Then, while sharing this with Adam, he simply says, ‘It’s nobody’s fault at the end of the day.’ it reflects his acceptance of the situation. He recognizes that his family’s lack of understanding or acceptance isn’t necessarily due to malice, but perhaps due to their own limitations or lack of knowledge about queer identities. This acceptance, however, doesn’t lessen the pain of feeling estranged from his own family. It’s a complex mix of emotions that many in the queer community can relate to. Harry finds himself enveloped in a type of loneliness that yearns for companionship, for someone to share his thoughts and feelings with.

As Adam begins the process of untangling the complexities of his heart, he discovers within himself the capacity to love Harry. He allows Harry to step into his solitary world, to breach the walls around his heart. This newfound connection sparks a healing process, enabling Adam to gradually come to terms with the loss of his parents.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ‘All of Us Strangers’ is more than just a film; it’s a mirror reflecting the realities many queer individuals face. It’s a testament to the transformative power of acceptance and love in the face of loneliness and grief. The journeys of Adam and Harry serve as poignant reminders that while the path to self-discovery and acceptance may be fraught with challenges, it is also one that can lead to healing and growth. Their stories underscore the importance of open dialogue and understanding in bridging the gap between the queer community and society at large. As we navigate our own paths, may we, like Adam and Harry, find the courage to untangle our hearts and embrace our true selves.

#all of us strangers

[billconrad]

When In Doubt, Delete

    I have been trying to be a successful author since 2016. It is a solitary activity that is as frustrating as it is challenging, rewarding, and educational. Like any worthwhile activity, there is much to learn. During my journey, I have discovered a few techniques that have improved my writing, and I wanted to discuss one I discovered a year ago. When I locate a troublesome sentence, paragraph, or idea that is difficult to fix, I delete it. This method sounds simple, but coming to that mindset (trusting myself) took a giant leap.

    My logical personality loves fixing problems, so I have great difficulty leaving something unresolved. For example, if my computer stops working, I will not throw it away. Instead, I would devote time and money to getting it working again, even if this is far more than it is worth. Therefore, it should always be possible to take words that are not working and manipulate them, so they do. Yet, this description is not exactly what I am trying to convey.

    My deleting concept resides at a very high level. It is as if the universe is telling me, “Dude, this is not working. Move on.” How can I convey this concept? My first thought was to edit stuff for a week and show you examples of deleted material.

    So, I collected ten deletions, but each one “Looked fine to me.” The problem is that a sentence or paragraph means nothing out of context. Another issue is that I was not able to explain my deleting logic. The only thought I could write was, “This did not work.”

    Here is an example sentence that I deleted from this very article. “During my journey, I have discovered a few techniques that have improved my writing, and I wanted to discuss one I discovered a year ago. (Yes, it took six years for me to figure this out.)”  As you can see, I deleted the sentence within the parenthesis. What was going on? I was trying to be funny, and it did not work. Yet, it read funny. Was there value in this addition? Yes, because the sentence added humor to a dry topic. Does this deletion make a better article? The universe told me, “Humor is not necessary.”

    I deleted a short paragraph from my last article: “If you like the Twilight movie, great. I am glad you had a good movie experience. If you have not seen it, it is a very popular movie that many people enjoyed.” That is a less than well written thing, but with some editing, it could be valid. The problem was that the sentences were not within the theme of my article. After the deletion, the article read “smoother.” It was like the universe was telling me, “Readers do not need these details.”

    The textbook method is: “When a section is not working, try deleting it. Then check to see if the deletion improves the document.” Another way is: “If a section frustrates the writer, a good first reaction is to try deleting it.” This philosophy is closer to my thoughts, but I have not entirely captured my method.

    In the first draft of one of my books, I wrote a detailed ten-paragraph background on the main character’s sister. This section included discussing her racist husband. Writing this section was challenging because I did not wish to offend my readers. I intended to provide a rich history I thought they would enjoy.

    I intended to show the main character supported his wife by distancing himself from the racist. This section underwent many changes during editing, and I felt I had conveyed a robust foundation. About six months ago, I was looking it over (not during an edit) and deleted the entire section. Was there any motivation like readability, flow, or character development? Nope. Only one button press.

    I was reviewing this book yesterday and thought, “Hey, what happened to that sister’s background? Oh, yeah. I deleted it.” Was my choice correct? For this article, I looked at a backup copy. The segment read well, but I now see why I deleted it. I was forcing something. “I (the main character) am better than my sister because I did not marry a racist.” My gut was telling me, “Dude! Stop being arrogant. Delete this mess.”

    Is this minimalist behavior? Meaning I give the readers exactly what they need and no more. I confess that my writing mindset does contain a minimalist attitude and detailed descriptions in my books and other books never read right. Yet, my explanation is still lacking.

    After thinking about this topic on a walk, I concluded that this deletion mindset contains a zen attitude. When I get a negative gut feeling about a section, it goes away. Am I proclaiming to be a fantastic writer with so much excessive material that I have the freedom to delete anything? No, my writing ability is quite the opposite. It takes me eons to write down my thoughts, and deleting material limits my meager output.

    My conclusion is if you are a writer, permit yourself to delete. How will you know? Mmm… I am still figuring that out.

    You’re the best -Bill

    April 17, 2024

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.

#writing #author #editing #the universe