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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 year

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Howdy, so I don't know if you have seen The Last of Us, but if you have, you know the scene where Joel saves Ellie from the hospital and he just ploughs through everyone and its like wow -///-

I just think it would be a really cool like drabble if this was a Din x reader fic? Only if you wanted to write it though!! Also I'm so happy that I'm on your taglist for inevitable because I jump to read it every time that I see that I've been tagged, it has me in a chokehold and the way that you write the reader is so damn good.

Your writing is something that brings comfort to me every week, and the way you interact and talk to your followers is so sweet. I love coming back from a stressful day to sit down somewhere comfortable to enjoy your work.

Anyways thanks for reading this ramble of an ask and I hope that you're doing well :)

[a/n]: combining some stuff here! this is for the anon who asked for this scene AND for @cockscombkingdom who asked for a fic in Din's POV where he takes care of reader and keeps her safe. I started with the plan to make this very sweet and fluffy and I'm not gonna lie a little darkness seeped into it. my bad.

also in case it isn't abundantly clear i am a joel miller apologist thx

Din Djarin x Female!Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, injuries, mild dark!din (if you squint and/or have a problem with murder)

Word Count: 1,440

Summary: You were selfless. You gave and you gave and you gave. The universe planned to only take more, but Din Djarin would be damned if he let it.

LOOK FOR THE LIGHT

"you'd just come after her." -Joel Miller (TLOU)

Din was worried about you. He was always worried about you because you were always on his mind. It couldn’t be helped. Somebody had to because it seemed like you were perpetually too worried about everyone else. Din admired that about you. He always had. You went out of your way to help anyone and everyone who approached. You had a heart that was always willing to give, and it left you too little to use for yourself.

When the two of you first began traveling together, he noticed that about you. Sometimes you’d get so preoccupied watching Grogu you’d forget to eat. Peli had once put you to work, organizing her tools as part of the payment to fix the Razor Crest, and you had been so focused on getting the work done well that you had taken no breaks and ended up dehydrated and weak under Tatooine’s hot suns. It’s why the mission he was delivering you to made such simple sense to him. You were special, is what you told him. Din knew you were special, felt it, but it was for very different reasons. According to you, there was something in your blood, some type of cell, that could cure a lot of people of some terrible, terrible disease spreading through a world in the Outer Rim.

Din tried to keep his distance from you. Tried to not get attached. But you were so selfless, that it naturally brought out his protective side. He couldn't help but care for you, but caring for you as a responsibility had quickly turned to loving you along the way. Din didn’t know a lot about love. Didn’t have much experience with it, lust was easier to grasp, and that left him confused most of the time. Din had no idea how to express what he felt for you, how to explain it in words, so he did the only thing he could do. Din took care of you. Kept you safe when he stopped to pick up quarries, made sure you remembered to eat and drink water, reminded you to go to bed and when you would eventually forget anyways he’d carry you there himself. Din didn't know what love was supposed to feel like, but what he did know was that being without you made his heart physically ache and protecting you brought him happiness.

Maybe that’s all he needed to know.

‘It’ll be okay.’ You had promised him with a smile that made your features glow. ‘Shouldn’t take long.’

That had been hours ago. Din delivered you to the medical facility as he had been hired, but when you hadn’t come back out he sought after you. It’s why he now sat in a small room, Imperials flanking the door, as he simmered in disdain. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

“Mandalorian.” A man stepped into the room. A doctor from the looks of it with thin, round rimmed glasses. The name ‘Pershing’ pinned to his lapel. Din stayed silent. “I was under the impression that you had been paid. Was there an issue?”

“No.” Din replied. “Where is she?”

Dr. Pershing paused and shook his head as if confused. Din tilted his head a bit, an obvious threat in body language, and the doctor was smart enough to realize this. He nervously cleared his throat. “She is being prepared for her operation.” Din narrowed his eyes in confusion. You told him they’d just need your blood. “There is no reason for you to stay.”

“I promised her a ride back.”

There was a tense silence that filled the room at his words. Din watched the doctor squirm where he stood and he needed no further clarification. He shoved up from the table, prepared for a fight, when the Imperials leveled their own weapons at him before he could reach his blaster.

Dr. Pershing held his hands up in a placating manner. “She will be a hero. After we drain her of all her blood, we can make a cure. There’s a 65% chance this will work and save the people of this world.” Din was fuming under his armor. Drain your blood? They were going to kill you. They were going to kill you for something that only had a 65% chance of even working. “She will not be in pain! She’s been put under! She will not feel a thing, and we did not scare her with the news.” Din staggered back as if he had been physically hit. Was this man saying… Dr. Pershing confirmed Din’s thoughts. “We did not tell her this would kill her. We spared her that misery. She went under anesthesia peacefully.”

The words echoed in Din’s head loudly. As if a bomb had gone off right beside him and left him deaf and blind. He walked on autopilot as the Imperials escorted him through the building toward the exit. They were going to kill you. They were going to kill you for a shot in the dark cure. Din was literally paces to the door when his boots stilled. The Imperials shoved him, tried to get him to move, threatened to shoot him, and then Din snapped.

With the practiced precision of a bounty hunter and Mandalorian who spent most of his life in a fight, Din spun and cut down the Imperials in one swift movement. The darksaber glowed angry in his hands, casting threatening shadows down the hall. Never before had the sword worked so well for him, but as Din marched through the facility it was practically an extension of himself. Blaster fire pinged off his beskar and he did not hesitate. If a person stepped into his path he eliminated them. Cold. Ruthless. A predator. Din stalked the medical facility searching for you, and he left a wake of death and destruction in his path.

When he finally caught sight of you, through a window into some kind of clean room. Din felt his heart flutter in his chest. The first twinge of emotion since starting this rampage. It was a reminder of why he was doing this. A reminder that his actions were necessary.

Din stormed into the room, his eyes not leaving your unconscious form as you laid on a table in a hospital gown. The staff in the room panicked in a flurry, and one of them⏤ maybe the doctor maybe a nurse, Din didn’t even register who the kriff it was⏤ rushed him in a poor attempt to stop this onslaught. Din cut them down without blinking. Without taking his eyes off of you. The second you were in his arms, Din felt marginally settled. He wasn’t going to lose you, couldn’t lose you. Din had sworn to himself that he’d take care of you, it was all he knew how to do, and he wasn’t going to stop for the sake of anyone.

Not even the sake of a world.

As Din carried you out of the building it occurred to him that he may be dooming an entire population of people. This world’s chances of survival were dropping from 65% to 0%. He knew that he should care. He knew that this information should bother him. That it should make his steps more hesitant and make his chest ache in indecision, but it didn’t. His choice had never been more clear to him. It was either this world or you. Din was choosing you. He’d always choose you.

When back on the ship, Din had only carried you a few steps when gasping could be heard. He turned around to see Dr. Pershing at the end of the ramp holding a blaster at him. The man was breathing hard, face red, as if he had sprinted all the way here to stop this from happening. Din had to admire his dedication. The man believed in this cause so much he was willing to go head to head with a Mandalorian who had just single handedly cleared out a medical facility.

“I can’t let you do this.” Dr. Pershing snapped. “You’re dooming this world if you take her!”

A blaster fired. Dr. Pershing stumbled back, a hole in his chest, and Din held his blaster firm in his hand. Your legs draped over that arm had hidden his weapon well. A strangled gasp left the man’s lips and he collapsed into a motionless pile. Din shook his head, responding to a dead man’s words, “I don’t care.”

Din would protect you under any and all circumstances.

Was that love?

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #dark!din djarin #sort of #if you squint #the last of us #joel miller inspired #mando x reader #mando x you #mandalorian fanfic #mandalorian x you #mandalorian x reader #female reader #reader insert

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daddy-dins-girl · 8 months

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Kinktober 2023 Pt. 1 - Dave York (Somnophilia, Frottage, Virginity)

Masterlist

AO3 link

Summary: It's Dave's birthday, and you have a present for him. Then again, maybe it's more for you.

This fic covers days 2 and 7 of @absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 challenge.

Dave York x Virgin!Reader (babysitter)

Word Count: 4.2k

Notes: Me: Ok, I can do this, I can write some smutty little kinktober drabble, no problem! Also me: Writes 2500 words of backstory and character development before a stitch of clothing even comes off.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Explicit smut. Cheating, infidelity (it's the York's y'all, come on, is it even Dave York fanfic if one or both of them aren't banging somebody else?). Age gap (Reader is 21, Dave is in his 40's). Virgin (but not inexperienced) Reader. Consensual Somnophilia. "Just the tip" (but like actually tho). Frottage. Vaginal and clitoral stimulation (aka pussy rubbing). Accidental creampie (whoops). Drug use, kind of? (just over the counter sleep aids). Dave York is his own warning. Uh.. if I've forgotten anything, lmk. I think I've given away half the story already in the tags! At least you know what you're in for ;)

There was an excitement thrumming through your veins as you sat in the living room waiting for the York’s to get home, not really paying any attention to what was playing on the TV because your mind was elsewhere.

The two children you were caring for, Molly and Alice, have long since been tucked into their beds and asleep and now you were just waiting for their parents to get home. They typically weren’t gone for more than a few hours. It didn’t need to be said that that was more than they could stand of each other if their children weren’t there to serve as buffers, that much was obvious to just about anyone who spent enough time around Carol and Dave. Apparently however just not to their friends who they had to go out with and appease, pretending their marriage was still perfect. That’s where the York’s found themselves this Saturday night, out with friends celebrating Dave’s birthday that was coming up in a few days.

It was a good job for you though, Mr. York always paid you handsomely. Anytime you’d come over to babysit he’d leave the same amount of money in an envelope on the kitchen counter for you. A fifty dollar bill for you to order food for yourself and the two girls (which was way more than enough, even with the delivery charges and tip, to cover anything the three of you could eat) and a crisp hundred for yourself for your services which you thought was way too high, considering they were never gone more than 2-3 hours. The first couple times you’d tried to give him the change from dinner but he’d shoved the twenty back into your own palm and told you to keep it so now you’ve stopped trying to argue and typically walk away with at least $120.00 a night, which was pretty good for a 3 hour gig for a 21 year old who lives at home while attending school. You didn’t know what Dave York did for a living - something in government, you think - but apparently whatever it was it paid extremely well.

The hard rain coming down outside was hitting the large windows of the York’s extravagant home in sheets and truth be told you were more than glad that there was practically a hurricane going on outside. It actually fit into your plans perfectly so you just watched the storm rage on outside from your comfortable seat on the sofa, a small smile on your face while you waited for your employers to get home.

Within minutes you heard the loud hum of the garage door opening up signaling the York’s arrival and you clicked off the TV, pretending to be interested in something on your phone and acting casually as a minute later you heard the door connecting the house to the garage open and Carol and Dave spilled inside.

“Oh my God it’s madness out there” Carol practically shrieked and Dave immediately shushed her loudly, reminding her of their sleeping children and Carol put a hand over her mouth but laughed uncontrollably still.

Yep, she was wasted, as usual.

“Oh hi, Mr. and Mrs. York” you greet them sweetly, standing up from the couch and coming over to the hallway leading to the entryway where they were taking off their soaked jackets, likely from their walk from whatever restaurant they had been at to their car.

“Oh hi sweetie. How were the girls?” Carol managed to ask, you’re not sure how she got the words out, given the way Dave was literally having to hold her up by her elbow just so she could kick her shoes off.

“Oh they were great, as always” you promise. And they were, Molly and Alice were rarely any trouble. This was by far the easiest babysitting gig you’d ever had.

“Pay the girl David, I need to go to bed” Carol groaned, leaning into her husband’s shoulder for support. Dave rolled his eyes. First of all, he had already paid you at the beginning of the night, like he always had and you’d think his wife would know that by now, and secondly he absolutely did not like how she was all but dismissing you without even thanking you or saying more than five words to you.

“Um, Mr. and Mrs. York,” you cut in, before Dave has a chance to say anything. “I was thinking, you know, the rain is coming down really bad and I don’t really like driving late at night as it is, I thought maybe I could stay over?” You asked politely. You’ve done it numerous times on occasions that they were sure they’d be home late, they had offered you their spare room in the basement so you could go to sleep once the girls were in bed if you had wanted to. Most times when you stayed over it was because you were already asleep when they’d gotten home, but on a couple occasions you’d stayed over even when you were still awake when they got in just because of how late it was.

“Sure, whatever sweetie” Carol waved a flippant hand at you.

“Of course you can” Dave finally spoke, his voice louder and firmer than Carol’s. Dave rarely came home with more than a drink or two under his belt because he typically drove. You also got the feeling that he knew he had to have all his wits about him when out with his wife so he could be a glorified babysitter himself.

“Thank you, Mr. York” you said his name sweetly, a coy smile playing on your lips that went unnoticed by Carol but intentionally noticed by Dave.

You left Dave to wrangle Carol up to bed and made your way down to the basement, getting ready for bed and then pulled your phone out to type out a quick text to the man of the house before you tried to get some sleep.

Cum see me l8r. Got a present for you to unwrap😉. You know the rules. xxx

You took a breath. You were excited and yet nervous, never having done anything like this, specifically, before. You reach over to the night stand and pick up the small white tablet, pop it into your mouth and wash it down with some water before you lay down on the bed and wait (im)patiently for sleep to take over.

Dave’s phone pings in his pocket once he’s finally gotten Carol into bed. She was tugging at his tie and belt and trying to drag him into the bed with her, mumbling something incoherently about a “birthday blowjob” and he could do little but roll his eyes. He was in no mood to have his completely drunken wife undoubtedly fall asleep on him with his cock half way down her throat. Besides the fact that he knows exactly where her mouth has been the last eight months or so which had been the final nail in the coffin that was once their active sex life.

So instead he leaves her there and heads off into the ensuite to shower, pulling out his phone to check his text from you along the way and smirking to himself when he reads it. He doesn’t reply. He rarely does. Sometimes it’s a power move. He likes you to squirm, wondering if he’s read it, what he’s thinking, if he’s as insatiable in his desire for you as you are for him. Mostly he doesn’t reply though because he doesn’t like paper trails. Not that he thinks you would, but the last thing he needs is you screenshotting your conversations with him and sharing them around with your friends or something.

Dave brushes his teeth, gets into the shower, then heads down to the kitchen to relax for a bit, sipping a beer and catching some highlights on SportsCenter. He doesn’t want to seem too eager and part of him likes to keep you waiting. Finally after a couple of hours have passed since he received your text he clicks off the TV and goes in search of you.

He moves through the basement rec room and to the closed bedroom door, pulling the small key out of the pocket of his sweatpants and using it to let himself inside, ensuring to lock it behind him. He’s the only one with a key to unlock the door from the outside so he doesn’t have to worry about anyone interrupting anything.

He makes his way over to the bed where you’re lying on your back. There’s a bedside lamp that’s turned on to its highest setting so he has no trouble making anything out in the room, he assumes it's intentional.

“Naughty girl” Dave mutters to himself when he sees what’s waiting for him. You’re lying there perfectly asleep on top of the bedclothes wearing nothing but a tiny camisole and simple yellow cotton panties with a small pair of red cherries right in the center like a goddamn bullseye and a tiny little tied red bow at the top.

Got a present for you to unwrap. Your words ring in his head and he’s half hard already just from looking at you.

He assesses the rest of the room and his eyebrow raises when he sees what’s on the bedside table, a tiny blue box with the logo “Sleep-Eze” on it and a half drank glass of water.

“Jesus Christ” Dave huffs out a breath, pushing a hand through his hair.

You had a conversation recently one night when you were lying in bed together the last time you had stayed over at his house and he came to see you (as he always had). You had confessed that a fantasy of yours was to wake up to having an orgasm. Dave was hesitant at first, for multiple reasons. One he didn’t like the idea of getting off on someone who was effectively unconscious, and two he argued that you’d wake up way too easily if he was doing his job well enough.

You told him you’d figure out a way to help with the second problem which, Dave presumed, was the reason for the sleeping tablet. And as for the first, you told him if he really wasn’t comfortable he didn’t have to, it was just something you had always wanted to try but had never trusted anyone else to do it.

And you did, trust him. The last line of your text, ‘you know the rules’, he did know the rules. Well, rule. It was really just one when it came to you.

No penetration.

At least, not with his cock. You weren’t a total prude or anything but you were a virgin (hence the cherry panties he supposed… cute little vixen). You grew up in a very religious household and although you didn’t quite believe in waiting until marriage like your parents had taught you to, you did want to wait until it could be with someone you loved and that just hadn’t happened to you yet. Still, despite this, you were sexually active in plenty of other ways that certainly seemed to keep Dave satisfied enough. For now anyway. You worried he might get bored of you but it hadn’t happened yet and it’s been nearly six months. Despite his aggressive and controlling behavior in bed he always respected your one rule and didn’t pressure you to cross it with him. He probably knew that before long you’d be begging him for it anyway and he was probably right. Your resilience was waning a lot. And it wasn’t just the sexual desire, though that was obviously a huge part of it, but you felt a connection to Dave you had yet to find with anyone else you dated, especially boys your own age who were exactly that - boys.

Dave was sweet to you when you least expected it. When you’d aced your midterm paper that you had spent weeks agonizing over, a dozen roses showed up at your parents doorstep the next day with a card nestled inside with a single phrase written on it. “So proud of you. D.”

When you had briefly mentioned one night that you desperately wanted tickets to the Taylor Swift concert but weren’t willing to fork over your entire college fund to get them, the next time you had come over to babysit in addition to the usual $150.00 in the envelope on the counter there was a pair of tickets to the Eras Tour Boston show with a small note stuck to it in Dave’s familiar scratchy handwriting “take one of your girlfriends, and have fun sweetheart”. You idly wonder who he had to kill to get them.

Then there was the day your brother had been shipped off to his first tour of Active Duty and you couldn’t be emotional about it in front of your parents because you had to “be strong for your brother” (their words). You had texted Dave when you finally couldn’t be in that house another minute pretending your whole world hadn’t just changed and he had picked you up from the corner of your street, driven to a secluded parking lot and pulled you into the back seat with him where he just held you for hours while you cried in his arms. You told him stories of your childhoods growing up, how close you’d been and how he was your best friend and whole world; your port in the storm against your strict parents and the only person who truly understood you. Dave sat there calmly, listening to every word, brushing a comforting hand through your hair or occasionally pressing his lips to your temple when another wave of tears hit you. He promised you that you never had to be brave or strong in front of him if you didn’t want to be, he would be there to hold you up. Be your strength when you had none left to give.

And when you had told Dave about a guy that had gotten a little too “handsy” with you at a Frat party - despite you repeatedly asking him to leave you alone - well, come to think of it, you’d actually never seen Thomas again after that night. You safely assume Dave had something to do with it though.

So yes, Dave was much more than just a warm body to you, and you for him, you presumed, and there was no one else you trusted with your body like you trusted Dave.

“Fuck” Dave muttered, hand coming down involuntarily to palm over the bulge growing beneath the elastic waistband of his sleep pants. You looked goddamn adorable when you were sleeping, Dave noticed immediately. Little mouth half open, head rolled to the side with your hair spilling over the pillows, and the rise and fall of your chest putting your perfect round tits on display for him under the threadbare top.

Apparently getting over the first hurdle was going to be easier than Dave thought.

He pulled his sweats down and kicked them off, leaving himself in just his boxer briefs and t-shirt and crawled onto the bed on his knees until he was between your legs, sitting back on his heels. He began by experimentally running his left hand down your leg all the way to your calf and then back up to your thigh, waiting to see if you’d stir at all and - nothing. Your breathing never faltered, body never twitched, and satisfied, Dave moved on to what he knew you were waiting for.

He started slowly, gently. He brought his hand to rest on your hip and his thumb reached down to stroke you over top of your underwear, pushing all the way down into your slit and back up and repeating the motion over and over again for a minute or so until he began to feel the unmistakable wetness begin to pool behind the thin cotton barrier.

“Good girl” Dave hummed to himself, then brought two fingers down on top of where your clit would be and began rubbing tight circles around it. Your hips jerked slightly and he stopped immediately like a deer caught in headlights, eyes shooting up to yours only to find you still fast asleep and he let out a relieved breath. It was just your body reacting to his touch but thankfully he hadn’t woken you. He knew what you wanted and he wanted to give it to you and he knew he had a long way to go before he brought you to a peak so it was far too soon to have you waking up already.

“That’s it baby” Dave praised when a little whimper left your lips but you simply snuggled further into your pillow. “Back to sleep”

After another couple minutes of soft caresses of his fingers he took his hands away momentarily to grab for one of the decorative pillows that had been tossed carelessly aside and he carefully lifted your hips to settle it underneath you, raising you slightly for him so he wouldn’t throw his back out leaning over you for what he wanted to do next - for what he knew you were waiting for him to do.

Once he’s got you in the position he wants he hastily tugs down his boxers, shuffles closer towards you on his knees and groans when he takes his own length in his hand. He’s painfully hard already and his head is weeping precum and he hisses through his teeth when he loosely grips his cock and starts pumping his hips, effectively fucking his own hand while the head of dick pushes into your still clothed sex.

“Oh fuck,” he groans. The combination of your own wetness and his leaking tip have caused a giant wet spot on your panties, leaving them basically transparent as he continues dragging his cock through your folds over your underwear.

This had quickly become your favorite thing to do with Dave, once he had tried it once, promising you he wouldn’t go inside but just wanting to be close to you. He’d rub your pussy with his cock until you came - which never took long - and you’d practically begged him to do it every time you were together since. It was near fucking torture for Dave, being so goddamn close to burying his cock deep inside you like he so desperately wanted to. He could do it. It would be so fucking easy. Especially right now. But he wouldn’t. If there was one thing Dave had in spades, it was self control.

Dave checks in with you again, makes sure you’re still asleep and you are, though your face is a little scrunched up now, not as peaceful looking. It looks like you’re dreaming and are a little unsure of what exactly is going on. He knows he probably doesn’t have a lot of time left to get you to cum before you wake up so he moves on to the final stage. He slips his dick under the soaked piece of cotton through the side and continues his little thrusts with his hands now resting on the insides of your thighs and not able to help the moan that escapes him when his dick finally makes contact with your naked cunt.

“Mmmmm” you hum sleepily, somewhere between completely dead to the world and barely awake.

Dave vaguely hears you beginning to stir, the sound of his cock pushing in and out of your sopping core filling his ears and causing his brain to nearly stop functioning with how fucking turned on he is. His tip brushes against your clit with every push of his cock and he has to close his eyes and focus on his breathing so he doesn’t come before you do.

“Ohhhhhh” you whine breathily, being dragged a little closer to consciousness.

It’s the softest fucking sound he’s ever heard and he nearly comes at the sound of your desperate, meek little whimper.

“Oh fuck, Baby, wake up” Dave groans, slightly picking up the pace that his cock slides in and out of your folds.

“Dave?” you mutter, confused as your eyes try desperately to blink open. “Oh. Oh fuck, Oh Dave!” It hits you like a fucking brick wall. You're suddenly completely alert as the pleasure centers in your brain finally start firing on all cylinders again and you’re painfully aware of how incredibly turned on you are. Not to mention how close you are.

“Sweetheart, oh fuck” Dave is close to losing it himself from above you. His hand leaves your thigh to yank your panties to the side and then he grabs his dick with the other to control his movements. He watches his cock rub up and down through your swollen lips and push into your clit, repeating the pattern over and over and over and soon enough you're rocking your hips in rhythm with him.

“Oh my God, Dave. Fuck, fuck, fuck” You cry out. He feels fucking incredible and you’re desperately close to coming, you can feel it flooding your lower abdomen, the dam about to burst. You push up on your elbows, you want to watch as Dave’s cock slides through you.

“Fuck, wish I could be inside you” Dave groans. He knows it's not fair of him to say it when you’re both so worked up like this but he’s never wanted it more than in this moment.

“Yesssss, fuck, me too Dave. Wanna come on your big fat cock baby” you mewl desperately, clutching at the sheets.

“Fuck baby don’t say shit like that” Dave scolds. It was one thing to playfully tease, but saying that to him knowing full well he couldn’t do anything about it was downright cruel.

“Baby, fuck, I’m serious” you whine. “Wanna feel you inside me, just a little bit, please baby? Just the tip? I need it”

“Oh fuck” Dave literally growls like you’ve never heard before and then he pushes inside you for the first time, just the head, like you asked, and you instantly fall apart. Your walls squeeze around his tip like an unrelenting vice grip and your juices flood his cock and seconds later you feel his own hot spend painting your walls as he shudders over you and grips your hips so tightly you know they’ll be bruised tomorrow.

“Oh shit, oh shit shit shit!” Dave curses at his own stupidity and lack of control but can do little about it as he continues to spurt rope after rope of his cum inside you.

“Oh my god, Dave” you sigh dreamily, falling back onto the bed and not only unbothered, but blissfully pleased at Dave’s little indiscretion. You’ll take a Plan B in the morning, you’re far from worried about it.

“Fuck, I’m sorry” Dave pants breathlessly as he finally pulls his spent cock out of you and runs his hands through his hair and then rubs them over his face and groans.

“Baby, come here” you insist, reaching up to pull him down on top of you and you’re surprised at how easily he allows it to happen.

“Hey, it’s ok” you assure him softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and petting a hand through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have-” he begins to protest as he pushes himself up on his elbows, but you’re quick to cut him off.

“I wanted you to. Baby that was…” you trail off, literally unable to put into words how good he made you feel and so you opt instead to pull his head back gently and kiss him passionately. After a few seconds of trying to resist you, Dave succumbs to the kiss and opens his mouth to you, tongue pushing inside and melding with yours.

You pull apart only when the need for oxygen overwhelms you both and Dave rests his forehead on yours, gently shaking his head.

“You’re fucking incredible, do you know that?” He says sincerely and a blush rises in your cheeks.

“You’re not so bad yourself” you tease.

“I just had my dick inside you” Dave states like he’s reading the morning headlines.

“I remember, I was there” you giggle and he huffs a laugh in return.

“Are you um… ok?” He asks sincerely, bringing a hand up so his finger can lightly trace your jawline, his eyes searching yours for any signs of regret.

“More than ok” you promise, raising your head slightly to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“You sure? You don’t hate me?” He asks and you can barely believe your ears, maybe you were still high from the sleeping pill.

“Hate you? Baby you literally just made my wildest fantasy come true”

“Really?” Dave asks, eyebrow raised. “It was uh… what you wanted?”

“It was everything I wanted and more” you promise.

“Come here” you murmur, pulling him down to kiss you again.

You kiss unhurriedly for several minutes, just reveling in the taste of each other and the closeness you feel to one another.

“Happy birthday Baby” you hum against his lips when you finally break the kiss and Dave lowers himself from his elbows to wrap his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“Best birthday ever Sweetness” he murmurs into your throat.

Tagging @nerdieforpedro, @chronically-ghosted @macabremads

#dave york fanfiction #dave york #dave york x reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction #dave york x you #kinktober 2023 #pedro pascal #pedro pascal cinematic universe

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carelessflower · 1 year

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rating shtv jace questionable moment

let be honest, it will mostly be season one plus two offending screenshots from season two. critical analysis only when i want to, the rest depends. the descent into hell is easy after all

5/10 - see? sh writers can write, first scene with jace they already show how he treat alec the rest of the season.

6/10 - that his job

3/10 - friendly reminder, alec was the acting head at this point aka jace's boss, it's his duty to report any strange occurrence at the institute and now you brought a STRANGE girl into HIS institute, i dont know, just a thought

3/10 - yes it kinda is, and it's alec choice at that seeing how he your superiors

3/10 - jace would be a shit head for the ny institute if a random pretty girl make him act like this. and again, it normal alec get suspicious at clary, because he, you know, can actually think through situations and not dive in first like a headless chicken

4/10 - yes, he has working brain cells

2/10 - dont you love it when the dude you supposedly share half your soul dismiss your valid concerns regarding your life

5/10 - if he's as you said you would be six feet under or in some ceils not here talking shit

1/10 - yes alec stop, don't you know jace is allergic to reasoning

2/10 - he knows you should be supportive of your parabatai

1/10 - all i can say is if a stranger comes into my life, not caring for anything but herself and jeopardizing my job, i would let out far worse things than angry rant

3/10 - no wonder jace fancies clary, they are never ready to hold themselves or each other accountable for anything. true love

🚩🚩🚩/10 - right before this izzy LITERALLY said clary go out WILLINGLY i have no words, alec's way too nice i would have 'oh this you' and drag jace daddy issue to filth back i would go lower than hell. by the way jace never apologize for this so. flop

0/10 - proceed to lose her next episodes

4/10 - flop. flop parabatai of the year

2/10 - funny how jace only bring up the parabatai bond when he needs alec to do something for himm hmmmm. it giving suspicious it giving affection with conditions it giving manipulation

-♾️/10 - that a totally normal thing to say about your brother, the one who you share a lifetime bond with. i normally wish jace choke on a porcupine

0/10 - jace only contribution to the parabatai bond is 2x03 and when he use his nepotism to transfer the head of ny institute position to alec. and even with alec already on his way to that title before imogen swooped in

5/10 - ooh be making that face now suddenly you care? dont make me laugh

0/10 - jace lies so well, all that practice telling himself he looks handsome every morning paid off

0/10 - my three year old cousin has more critical thinking than these two

0/10 - jace the one to talk he's incapable of seeing anything outside clary

-/10 - for whither thou storest, I will steal, and where thou trust, I will trust to betray.

💀/10 - took them ten episodes to have alec FINALLY punch somebody for joking, using his sexuality against him when he's clearly NOT ready to talk about it. yeah fuck shit up baby

2/10 - oh okay, let talk about how you and clary fuck off to somewhere with the cup when the clave and a race supremacist massacre advocate cult leader are both hunting for it. then you and she proceed to play house with your newly discovered fake dad and left alec to deal with the mess. oh, did i mention izzy's complicit in your scheme and you left her there at the mercy of the clave?

1/10 - your saving cause more problems than elon musk to twt get over yourself

4/10 - selfish intentions + selfish actions = season one clace. a match made in heaven

6/10 - passable apology but why he cant just resist making it all about him lmaoooo

4/10 - the only joke here is your life

tag list: @dustandducks @cityofdownwardspirals @magnus-the-maqnificent @onetimetwotimesthreetimess @wildesummerchild @cam-ryt @khaleesiofalicante

#shadowhunters #anti show jace #anti shtv jace #alec lightwood #im a hater with proof

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konaanaria13 · 1 year

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ALRIGHT. So first of all, No I don't know what this is or who it is about. Second of all I was listening to twenty one pilots and imagine dragons and then I switched to two feet and I was writing with that so I present to u what ever the fuck happened there.

Its basically Royal Bodyguard and Princess now Queen. This doesn't have a backstory but it should start with her accusing her Bodyguard who she has had for years on no end of poisoning her even though it obviously wasn't him!

And then just heavy smut yep yep yep!

MINORS DNI

Warnings: mentions of violence, being shot, stabbed, cut, sewed up again and so on. Death of characters and the following trauma. Just heavy sex along with biting, first time with each other, blowjob(male receiving) begging.

This was not written for a specific Character so I'm gonna tag some of the tags that I have previously written for or I'm fond of at the moment

I haven't Grammar checked it either so....

If you don't like something msg me and I'll correct it...

Also may or may not be expecting a part two...? Maybe if you guys want it idk sorry for long introduction

Thanks!

"I always stood by your side. I fought! I almost died several times! I have scar's that we're meant for you! I have the knives of the poor souls trying to stab you saved in a locket so that if you the princess wants them she can use them even if they have my blood on it! I have every bullet that was aimed for you In that stupid locket to I should probably return them though!" She took three steps back.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"I did not. I never ever ever. Even think of betraying you!" His voice echoer lauder than meant to in the room as he took three steps forward.

"I had my stomach sewed shut more times than you can count! And still I'm standing here having to tell you that I'm not the one who tried to poison you?! How can you even look me in the eyes?!" It was probably the first time he was hurt in years. His fingers almost started to tremble before he remembered who he was. She had already started crying but tears wouldn't help her because the only person who could help her was the one she accused of killing her.

"I was the one who stood with you when she died! When your father died! But know when your up on your little thrown you forget it all!? Why? Because people are trying to kill you? What is it something new?" In a quick motion he had taken his shirt of and the first time she saw all of the countless scars which we're supposed to be her like he said.

"Do you see them? I'm fucking scarred but you believe I'm trying to kill you when all I have ever done is love and protect you!?" He was down to his last words when she fell down on her knees and he was soon to follow her holding her up and making her look at his face.

"I would never hurt you?! How can you do this to me?" He asked and her tears fell on his hand and sweet voice turned into the most painful scream and his heart felt like it was about to break apart.

"Don't cry for me" he begged and she almost threw up before being able to talk.

"I can't have you do this anymore" she cried and his hands cradled her hair slowly turning his harsh touch into a soft and loving one as if a switch had been pulled.

"I can't have your blood on me please just go! I can't have you die on me please!" She begged back Her voice made him want to start to cry but he kept reminding himself not to.

"Please please i can't have you die, please don't leave me, please please i need you? Can't you hear me leave go away I'm letting you go! You can't be in any guard! Your gonna live on a farm in the east, with flowers and a pretty wife who can make you those cookies you like-" she was trembling in his arms.

"You make those cookies!" His lip's escaped a cruel laugh

"And somebody who can kiss all your scars without having to remember all the faces of the one who did them! I'm sorry I just can't-" he was absolutely raging in fear.

"I'm not gonna die. Never. Just please don't do this." He asked softly and she hit her head against his bare chest her fingers holding onto his thighs cursing.

"Im not somebody that you deserve to die on not after what i've done." Was all she brought out her tears drying on his hands.

"You haven't done anything you weren't supposed to do-"

"No you said it yourself. I'm a spoiled little girl who now has to do things for herself. My fathers blood is on my hands. My mothers blood was always on my account and she, my best friend. died for me because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. And you have all these scars that I'm supposed to have. I'm supposed to be dead not the countless men that have fallen in an attempt for my death. And now I'm the fucking queen how many days can you survive? One? Two? I'm not risking you, not anymore. Your done." She had pushed his touch back even though it made her want him more.

"Your leaving. Your gonna go. And I swear if you come back I'm gonna find a way to actually hurt you and I don't mean in a physical way." She panted her tears we're long gone now the only thing that coused her checks was a light blush and anger.

"No. No. You can't do this. I'm not gonna go, you can't make me. I pledged my life on yours." he was already standing as soon as she wasn't sitting anymore and his anger tuned to fear.

"Please just go!" He was already back to her and his hands we're back in her hair his forehead pressing on her's and her hands tried to take his of by his wrist's but even if she was stronger than him wouldn't have worked.

"Just let me-" she cut him off by pressing her lips on his the sweet sound of his voice turning into a whimper and leaving him stunned.

"Please go" she asked kissing him again.

"Please I don't want you to die." She let his hands go and pushed him back by his chest in the weak moment but it only took a second of his look for him to be back on her and her hands running through his hair.

"If I'm dying that means your already dead" He says his hands grabbing her waist and pulling her closer while she muses a muffled moan.

"Your leaving." Was all she responded and he made her walk backwards until her back hit the wall his fingers coming up underneath her shirt and unclasping her bra and taking her shirt of with it. His lips attached to her throat and bite into her skin until her throat made out a gagging scream which meant he left the bite mark to make more on other places.

"I'm never going to leave you." He kissed so many kisses down her neck that she moaned and her body grinded into his.

"Jump" he held her up in the air confidently and his fingers might have left marks.

"I'm gonna kill you personally if your not gone by tomorrow" she warned and he laughed while his tongue ran over her exposed nipple, one of his hands came up on her breast and she tucked at his hair making his head fall back when he tried to bite her again.

"Your done." She said and kissed him again his hand almost dropped her when her tongue ran down his neck lowering her to have free access to everything she wanted.

"I'm always gonna be there for you" He said and she kissed his body down, he did eventually let her go back down on the ground and this time he didn't follow her when she went down on her knees opening his belt and taking the gun away from him, he let his hand stroke her hair.

He kisses didn't stop and nor did her tongue as she stroked his cock tasting his precum on her tongue. Letting him sit on her tongue for a while before starting to suck his tip, she started in a slow motion making him give her some groans but as soon as he hit the back of her throat the groans turned into soft moans that he seemed to be embarrassed about. He didn't let her make him cum because after too many whimpers and moans, He whipped that proud smirk of off her face as he fucked her roughly against the wall her moans sounding more like scream's pretty fast and her face now only filled with tears of physical pain which he simply kissed goodbye and made her ride out her high watching in delight as she begged him to move his hips and not make her do fucking push ups.

His lips attached to her breast and her fingers ran over and over over his cheeks her mouth tasted salty from the tears and cum which he made her lick clean off his dick.

She stayed on him pretty much all night laying on the soft bed, sometimes kissing some parts of him but mostly just listening to his reassuring whispers and her whispering the things back in the same careful and tender way.

-K<3

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barris-events · 11 months

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Under the cut you will find a list of prompts to inspire your works for this fest. You're free to use whatever you want, to combine two or more of them, whatever you like. When you post your work, just let us know which one(s) inspired you in your notes and don't forget to tag us. If you need a reminder on the guidelines, you can find them here. Otherwise, happy writing/drawing/giffing 🌙💙🌕

Quotes, Poetry & Lyrics

🔵 The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections. - Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

🟦 Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars. - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

📘 Place, park, scene, dark / Silvery moon is shining through the trees / Cast, two, me, you / Summer kisses floating on the breeze - By the Light of the Silvery Moon

🦋 It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me / At tea time, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero -Taylor Swift, Anti-hero

💙 Your hands, like no-one else's / the ring around the blue of your eyes / lift all the sighs out of me / like the memory of something beautiful: / the moon, how close you are, how far. - Blue Moon, Linda France

🔷 I heard somebody whisper "Please adore me" / And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold - Blue Moon, Hart & Rogers

🔵 The month of August had turned into a griddle where the days just lay there and sizzled. - Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

🟦 So much for summer love and saying "us" / 'Cause you weren't mine to lose - Taylor Swift, August

🦋 I really wanna stop, but I just got the taste for it / I feel like I could fly with the boy on the moon / So honey, hold my hand, you like making me wait for it / I feel like I could die walking up to the room - Carly Rae Jepson, I Really Like You

Scenarios

🔵 Scenario: summer thunder storm traps them inside. they play board games to pass the time.

📘 Scenario, choose your own adventure: a trip to the beach goes awry. Do they a) discover a body, b) encounter someone from Thomas's past, or c) get caught up in a smuggling adventure.

🔷 Scenario: AU in which Thomas is an exasperated teacher at a private school and Richard is PA to one of the school wealthiest benefactors. Richard has been charged with dealing with the appalling behaviour of the benefactor's trouble-making child.

💙 Scenario: future fic. Richard and Thomas move into a cottage on the estate. It’s perfect, except for being haunted by Carson.

🟦 Scenario: there's an interlinking door between Thomas's room and the one where Richard stays at Downton Abbey.

🌀Scenario: Richard time travels to the past and encounters a younger Thomas. Whether he’s there to fix something or some other reason is up to you.

🔷 Scenario: AU based on the Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story subplot with the King's valet and the Queen's footman (spoilers for plot). Thomas is newly assigned to Queen Charlotte as her personal footman. He lives for knowing what's going on in society and reporting useful gossip to her. Richard is King George's valet and the only person who knows about his mental health situation and what's really going on with him and keeps it secret from all the other staff and Charlotte, using various machinations and making excuses for why the King is doing certain erratic things. When they start hooking up, Thomas quickly sees through Richard's web of lies. Richard has a choice about whether to trust the footman (known gossip and schemer) with the King's secret and bring him into his schemes or part ways with him to protect the king.

💙 Scenario: AU where Thomas owns a plant shop and Richard is a frequent customer.

📘 Scenario: Thomas is surprised/confused when Richard shows concern for his well-being, he's used to it only happening when his partner wants sex/intimacy.

Misc

🔵 Moon tarot meaning: Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

🔷 Blue colour meaning: Blue is the colour of trust and loyalty. It has a calming and soothing effect and you can always count on its support.

Images

If you'd rather some visual inspiration, take a look at these picture prompts. You can use all the images from any set, mix and match, or just pick a single image to use.

🟦 Image set 1

🦋 Image set 2

🔵 Image set 3

#barris blue moon fest #richard ellis x thomas barrow #thomas barrow x richard ellis #barris #downton abbey #downton abbey movie #thomas barrow #richard ellis #prompts

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shrinkthisviolet · 12 days

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⭐star⭐

I’ll talk a little about the Barry & Morgan hot chocolate fics for this one!

For context, this is the first one, taking place post-1x7 (an episode tag of sorts):

And this is the second, taking place post-1x14:

They’re the bookends of “i still love you (i promise)”, really, and they’re sorta like checkpoints in regards to Barry & Morgan’s friendship—markers of progress. In the first one, Barry and Morgan are friends and still getting comfortable with each other—this fic has the first major show of vulnerability from Morgan to Barry. In the second...well, they’re basically siblings, having already claimed each other as such in “i still love you (i promise)”...and there’s still vulnerability there, because of a certain idea Iris suggested that they both agreed to but Barry is more hesitant about (can’t say too much about it just yet, but you’ll find out in the 1x15/1x16 fic!)

The symmetry/inversion was also so sweet to write: in the first one, Barry offers Morgan a gift of hot chocolate and encourages her vulnerability. Meanwhile, in the second, Morgan offers Barry a gift of hot chocolate (the same brand he gave to her in the previous hot chocolate fic, at that!) and encourages his vulnerability. Though notably she’s a bit more brisk about it than he was in the first fic…because Barry’s not the only one having doubts about Iris’s plan. Morgan’s just very keen to push away her bothersome, inconvenient feelings for a greater goal (a running theme with her 🥺 this poor girl).

It was my first time writing a pair of companion fics, and I think it worked out pretty well 💞 that wasn't even really my intention at first, but...they are undeniably companion fics.

Also ofc...they had such wonderful moments together:

“Mo, hey.” Someone squeezed her hand, put it atop their chest. “Deep breaths, okay? In…out…”

Slowly but surely, she slowed her racing heart enough to follow along, and her panic faded. Then her vision finally focused enough to realize it was Barry.

Of course it was Barry. Farooq was dead, she’d seen his body herself—get a grip, Morgan.

“Hey, no.” Barry frowned. “Don’t do that. You’re allowed to be scared of things, Mo.”

Poor Morgan 🥺 you just know there are so few people in her life to tell her so…and one who definitely wouldn’t.

“You have to buy so much already for yourself though!”

“I’m also older than you.” He grinned. “Let me use my adult money for something, huh? You can make better use of your money by saving it.”

She grumbled something about it being way too late at night for her to be taught things, and he laughed, making her smile despite herself.

…

“Ah-ah, not so fast.” He held the packet up, out of her reach. “Go sit down, I’ll make our cups.”

She frowned. “Barry—”

“I’m older,” he reminded her gently, “and you're the one who just woke up. That means I take care of you, okay? Go sit. It won’t take me long, and you know it.”

“Even you can’t speed up a microwave,” she grumbled...

A little sibling teasing (pre-siblings, ofc, they’re just friends right now) for the soul 🥰

“I’m saying,” he said slowly, “that I get it. I understand feeling like your fear is stupid, something irrational. Maybe it is irrational…but that doesn’t make it any less real.” He looked earnestly at her. “And it doesn’t make you any less deserving of help.” He set the mug down in front of her.

She frowned. “But I…that’s…that’s not a cure!”

“Sure it is.” He smiled gently, sitting beside her. “The best cure is having someone who you can tell everything to…someone who can chase the nightmares away. No matter who they are to you—a best friend, a lover, a sibling, a parent, whoever…everyone needs someone like that. And you have someone like that, right? Your dad?”

“Sometimes,” she admitted.

“He used to make hot chocolate for you, right? Or did you have it for the first time some other way?”

“Dad’s not really a hot chocolate kind of guy—that’s moreso my aunt. She taught me how to make it.” She sighed. “But…I don’t know. Telling her everything…that’s too complicated. It might put her in danger.”

Oh Barry. You have it so wrong, you have no idea. But you’ll figure out in another 7 episodes that something is Not Right about Morgan & Thawne.

Also, hot chocolate is ofc a metaphor—he’s just rephrasing his question in a metaphorical slant, which gets Morgan to give him less of a vague answer. She won’t be totally open with him this early…and he’s learning, even this early, to be creative and gentle to coax out her true feelings.

(On that note…Barry does make some magical hot chocolate, doesn’t he 👀 it’s not outright stated yet, but Morgan is half-convinced he’s making it with some sort of magic. Is that just the literal hot chocolate, I wonder, or the rest of their conversation too? Is it perhaps just Barry himself?)

“…but…you don’t really have any enemies, do you, Sentry?”

She shook her head, smiling at the protective tone in his voice. “Sweet of you to care, Flash, but no. Nothing so dire.”

“Good. I can’t see why anyone would hate you anyway, you're a delight.”

Protective Barry 🥰 my favorite thing

He grinned back, picking her up bridal-style. “Sure thing.” He sped her to Dad’s office…and for a split second, she could almost see his gold lightning around them.

She hadn’t realized until now how much the sight comforted her—when she was aware enough to realize its color, anyway.

Her hero 🥺 ever since she was a small child, and even more now that he’s come to exist and she’s gotten to know him. Now that she’s had the privilege of calling him her friend.

“Um…I know I’ve been asking for a lot today, and especially tonight, but…can I…can I have a hug?”

“Of course.” He hugged her tightly. “For the record, I’m always up for a hug. You don’t have to worry about asking.”

She laughed, hugging him tightly back. “Duly noted.”

For those of you who didn’t catch it, “hug me? You never have to ask” from Morgan in chapter 9 of “i still love you (i promise)” was a callback to this! Using his own words of comfort to comfort him 🥰

“I know things were…well, things have been tense, and a lot of that is—”

He frowned. “If you try to blame yourself again—”

“Just stating the facts,” she muttered, but at his glare, she held her hands up in defeat. “Fine, fine! No self-deprecation, noted.”

“Good. It…worries me, how much you do that.”

“Nothing to worry about,” she replied breezily, looking away from his concern.

Barry calling out Morgan’s self-deprecation 🥺 and she’s so startled by it. She doesn’t do it around Tina, Caitlin, or Cisco (notice the name I’m excluding? Yeah. It’s very likely his fault that Morgan got into this habit to begin with), and she doesn’t expect Barry to push back on it…especially so soon after they’ve reconciled

He laughed, his arms warm and tight around her, and it didn’t take her long to reciprocate. “This is so thoughtful of you, Mo. Thank you so much. I can’t…I can’t believe you remembered.”

This is, ofc, because Morgan remembered the hot chocolate brand, and he’s so touched by it.

“I mean, are you kidding? Of course I’d remember having hot cocoa with the Flash.”

“Hmm. And of course I’d remember having hot cocoa with Sentry,” he teased, pulling back to smile at her. “You might not be as popular a hero as you should be—”

She frowned. “Barry—”

“—but,” he continued, kissing her forehead, “you’re my hero, and I’m serious about that.”

That’s their real thesis 💞 they’re each other’s heroes! They met as equals, they’re superhero partners…and even as she settles into the role of his baby sister, and he as her big brother, they trust each other as equally capable with those powers. And equally heroic to each other. And isn’t that something? Platonic soulmatism for sure 🥰

director’s cut ask game!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs

@thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

#director’s commentary ask game #brotp: i know my hero #oc: morgan wells #barry allen #the flash #morgan wells au

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missallanea · 2 months

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mini character playlist : share at least five songs that remind you of your muse, or that you associate with your muse's character arc. including lyrics is optional.

Taboo - Christabelle —— I know that I am not alone // Let all our thoughts and ghosts unfold // In the darkness, I've found home // But what is next is still unknown // And I know, and I know, and I know that you hear my cry // Tears tell no lie // Let our guards down, it's time to break the taboo // Before we all become animals, animals // Echos in my head, got to break the taboo // No, we will never be criminals, criminals // But sticks and stones won't break my soul // Gotta be your own miracle, miracle // It's in my bones, got to break the taboo // Before we all become animals, animals

Shameless - Camila Cabello —— It's all there, now it's real // Now that you have me, do you want me still? // My kisses are history, they go back a long time // And I'm tired of loving somebody that's not mine, no // So many mornings // I woke up confused // In my dreams, I do anything I want to you // My emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind // Right now, I'm shameless // Screamin' my lungs out for you��// Not afraid to face it // I need you more than I want to // Need you more than I want to // Show me you're shameless // Write it on my neck, why don't you? // And I won't erase it // I need you more than I want to // Need you more than I want to

Use Me Up ( Angel's Order ) - Paranoid DJ —— I've fought my inner demons every which way // But they're not interested in leavin' me // So in me they'll stay // I'm like a fire that could burn this fuckin' town to the ground // And there'll be nothin' left but ashes if you let me come down // So you better use me up // Make the most of your time // And I can guarantee you'll always wanna cross that line // So get your money and your buddies // And a drink or three // No backin' out or you'll see why you shouldn't mess with me // Go ahead and use me up

Afraid of the Dark - Beyond the Black —— Every day I try to run, but in vain // Any time I stop, it all starts again // In the shadows I cast // Silhouettes of the past // Every day I lie and say that I'm cured // Even though I know they're just empty words // If there's nowhere to turn // Am I destined to burn? // Who is my salvation when no one's aware I'm at war // I feel a stranger, her sadness and her rage ( Under the skin ) // I hear her screaming and rattling in her cage // ( Fight her! Fight it! ) I'm afraid of the dark! // ( Fight her! Fight it! ) I'm afraid of the dark! // ( Fight her! Fight it! ) I'm afraid of the dark inside me

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives —— On some level, I think I always understood // That a ship could never really love an anchor // So, I did the only thing that I could // And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor // There are times when I still wonder about you // You are someone I have loved, but never known // And you'll never see the reasons I had // For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you // I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel // I am all the things they might have said to you // Do you ever think of me and my two hands? // And wonder why they never soothed your fevers? // And wonder why they never tied your shoes? // And wonder why they never held you gently? // And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?

tagged by : @firepassed thank you ;w; tagging : @stardustedstories // @helldustedstories // @pompedia // @madefate // @fizzarollitm // && anyone who wants to snag it !!

#❪ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ─── ⠀ eda clawthorne / music ⠀﹕ ⠀more like eda's requiem. ⠀ ❫#❪ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ─── ⠀ missallanea / dash games ⠀﹕ ⠀tag you're it! ⠀ ❫#/ had to do it for eda. she's such a comfort character.#/ and her playlist is one of my favorites so. ;w;

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lmanburg-letter-service · 9 months

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I've just been sitting here for a while, thinking about all of them, but really, I only want to write a letter to one. May want to tag for neg towards Dream (plus general neg, I think?). Could you also use introject tags if you post this? (Completely understand if you won't post it. Lots of neg from what my brain can process).

Exile, Prison incident, violence mentions(?), and Wilbur's revival are all mentioned in case you need a tw for those.

To Dream,

Royally fuck yourself bitch. And if you can't, get Goggy to help you.

I still can't believe you. After everything I've been through, and you had the audacity to make it worse.

Who fucking decided you got to play God? You further shattered my already broken view of my brother. You brought him back. I didn't get why and I guess I still don't but that was really fucking disgusting of you.

Was Wilbur meant to be my distraction? Did you really think I'd fall right back into whatever "duck brain" I had and that I'd keep following him? Or did you do it to make me feel like I owed you for bringing him back because you knew how much I missed him? Or was it maybe the fact you thought you knew how he'd react? How he'd fall into a pretty prince role and worship you as his saving grace?

I love that you were wrong. I don't regret anything I did after, either. I don't regret bringing you to ruin. Maybe I'm a little sorry I destroyed it all with Tubbo, if not only for the builds and few fond memories I had left.

There's so much shit I have on you, and I don't know if I can let go. Not because I want to, but because I haven't entirely really thought about it all. As of late, I've just been stuck here suffering with the repercussions of exile fresh on my mind.

I'm hungry, but I can't eat, no matter how safe I am. I'm under a really bad weather watch right now that just reminds me of the horrid weather from Logstedshire when it wasn't beautiful. But let's be honest, when was it ever beautiful? Constantly gloomy and cloudy. You chose that spot beforehand, hadn't you? And when you gave me that trident you knew, I would long for more beyond those clouds.

I have a feeling you wanted me to become Icarus.

And in a strange way I had. I can't stand the way you treated me, almost driving myself to do something I didn't think I would ever want to do. You wanted control over a literal fucking child.

You're pathetic, yknow that? I used to think that maybe, just maybe, something might've gone wrong in your childhood to make you such a wrongun. But based on a conversation I had with Puffy after one of my last sessions with her, I just can't place it. I don't think I want to, I don't want to know what happened or what went through your head.

Maybe it was as simple as the idea of power going to your head.

I'll never understand why you went to the lengths of war. Why you wanted the discs so bad or why you wanted to control me. I'll never understand why you tried to fucking kill my best friend to command me. I don't want to forgive you for it, any of it, especially when you didn't ever ask for forgiveness. Even when you killed me in the prison to "prove a point".

I'm so fucking angry at you.

But I forgive you.

I forgive you not because you need it or some stupid shit like that. But I forgive you because I can't keep holding on to this, it's hurting me more than it is helping me.

I'm done now, though. Please don't contact me, let me be happy. I don't want to know how sorry you either are or aren't. It's already too late for all that, and I'm done with it all.

I'd like to keep this freedom I'm finally holding. For once, it feels so nice, like I'm living for myself rather than somebody else.. if there's one selfish thing I can ask for from you, it's to let me finally have that.

Goodbye Dream, I really fucking hope you realized what you did was wrong.

- From ; Tommy/Icarus

[Letter Sent!]

#to: dream #from: tommy #dsmp introject #tommy introject #dream neg #Mod Archive

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bitch-with-a-spoon · 2 years

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quick CAS rant

These are CAS things I have noticed but have been very infuriating for me as I like to fill towns with my own townies.

When I was creating a sim, I set their sex as male but had preferences as feminine and had the pronouns she/her. I like creating diverse sims and wanted to mess around with the new options with pronouns. In CAS and relationship this sim is listed as a brother rather than a sister or sibling. I can see how a fix for this can be more nuanced than matching the term to the pronouns, but still irritating nonetheless.

the wrap style of the hijab available only under everyday and not for formal, party, etc. While this is a simple fix of removing the dress type tag, it shows a lack of thought or perhaps ignorance by the sims team.

There are very few modest clothes and the ones that are look so... old. No hate to people who dress in this style, but if I am trying to make a sim that dresses modestly and is a teen or young adult, there are really no clothing options available for them to wear that look nice/fashionable. I know I spoke on this in another post, but I am so tired of having to rely on CC to make sims. I believe that CC should be there to enhance and to explore more styles, and I love CC creators and modders within the community, but it again feels like we need these people to make the game playable rather than to enhance it. Again, I don’t think it should be so hard to find a dress or outfit in game that can cover the chest, arms, and legs that also looks like a real outfit somebody would wear (more emphasis on the dresses).

Also, the lack of disability rep is upsetting. I recently got mocked for this on twitter, and it did remind me that not everybody knows that I am disabled and me caring about accessibility and representation isn’t from some place of wanting to feel like I’ve done something but rather because it is something that I and several of my friends face, and it hurts to not be able to see these options within the game. I don’t want to have to play in a world and have to imagine they are magically cured. At least in the sims 3 there were canes, granted they were for elders, but more than the sims 4 has.

I do apologize if this feels choppy, I’ve been writing this in between other things so not all thoughts are properly connected!

Obviously I understand that there are more issues and things to tackle in game, but it feels so disheartening when I play this game where the whole idea is that you can create you or at least people like you but then don’t give us the full ability to live this out.

#sims 4 #sims #sims community #sims cc #sims mods #CAS #create a sim #sims rant #off of my chest #the sims

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wickedmilo · 2 years

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Update: Following this post, it seems the mods of wickedsrest-rp have abandoned the original main, and are using a new password protected blog for what they claim to be ‘security reasons.’ Though I can’t predict any new names, or urls they will decide to use for the scheduled reboot, you will still be able to recognise the names of the mods listed in this post. I will post the new group name as soon as I know it. Please keep this mind when applying for any new groups come the end of March.

The new group was originally set to open on the 11th of February 2023. The opening date has now been pushed to the end of March. The mods state there has been a lot of interest in the reboot, and though I’m not entirely convinced that is true, I want to remind everybody who may have seen this post that it serves as a reminder of the toxic environment harboured by the mods, and the players who will all very much be a part of the reboot. Take my experiences as a lesson and find somewhere more wholesome, and supportive, to invest your time in.

This is going to be a long post, but I really hope a few of the accounts still following Milo, and anybody who might be looking for a new group to join can take the time to sit down and read it. To those of you still in wickedsrest-rp, you know how much I loved the group, you know how much I loved my character, and how much time I dedicated to this particular hobby. The mods never had any issues with me, I never set out to cause any trouble, and I thoroughly enjoyed the year and 4 months I spent as an active member there. I really don’t need to tell you that, I actually consider most of you friends. That being said, you also know things went downhill very quickly. What you probably aren’t aware of, unless you’re incredibly astute, is the fact that the mods haven’t been entirely honest about why. The members of wickedsrest-rp deserve the truth. If you are still a member of the group then I want to show you who you are really writing with, I want to show you how the mods are ready to turn on somebody when they feel as though their dictatorship-like authority has been threatened.

If you’re seeing this in the tags while searching for a group to join, hopefully this will serve as a warning, and can save you the pain of joining wickedsrest-rp. The sad reality is, your writing isn’t safe there, and no matter how comfortable you are, neither is your place as a player. Since being removed from the group, three separate people have come forward to tell me about the similar experiences they have suffered, and offer me support that I was desperately in need of. A couple of them left while I was still in the group, and thanks to the mods quietly sweeping any issues under the rug, I genuinely believed they had chosen to leave due to personal, and amicable reasons. Others left under more questionable circumstances, but the environment created by the mods encouraged people to keep their heads down, and continue as though nothing unusual could possibly be happening under the surface. This serves as a clever way of ensuring the group continues to listen to the mods. Of course nobody is going to question them, or lose respect for them when, on the surface, everybody appears happy, and content. There is a lot of gaslighting, and manipulation happening to keep up this toxic, and unhealthy charade. Something I am finally able to see.

The purpose of this post is to share the truth about the way the group is run, but unfortunately the name of this group has changed more than once, and I can’t promise the pending reboot won’t be followed by a change in url. If this happens I will do my best to update this post, so that anybody previously unaware of wickedsrest-rp can successfully maintain their distance. But in case I am unable to, I am going to list the names of the current mods, alongside previous names that the group has been known by. If anybody reading this has had negative experiences with any one of the previous incarnations, this is your opportunity to tell your story. I urge you to reblog this, and share your own experience. Not only is it cathartic, there are so many of us, and the more people who come forward, the more this will be taken seriously. We can help to ensure nobody else has to go through what we did.

Current mods: Elliott, Casey, Liz, and Hannah

Previous versions of wickedsrest-rp include:

Into Each Generation, a Buffy RP also known as IEG

Save This City, a Batfamily RP also known as STC

Touch of Strange, the first version of what would become Wicked’s Rest, also known as TOS

Wicked’s Rest, also known as White Crest

A new, and currently unnamed version of Wicked’s Rest, due to open on the 13th of January 2023

It has reached the point now where I don’t care about discretion. I’m going to be honest about what actually happened, and encourage current players to see that, no matter how scary it is to lose a group, no matter how terrifying it is to drop all of your work, and so much of the time spent developing connections, wickedsrest-rp and its mods don’t care about you. Regardless of how they make you feel, they don’t respect you, and if they decide they no longer like you as a player, they will reach for a reason to remove you without any concern for your wellbeing. Please don’t give them the power to continue with this level of toxicity. They can only sustain this behaviour with your support. The group is steadily on a decline, I don’t believe it will last more than a couple of months come January, but those are months of your time that these mods haven’t earned. As painful as it is, please learn from my own mistakes. Let the group go. It will be less painful on your terms than on theirs.

Below is a breakdown of the way I was treated. Screenshots will be provided throughout, but a full compilation can be found by following this link to a google drive, where they have been clearly labelled, and organised in chronological order.

Recently, due to issues in real life, my mental health has been in a terrible place. RP has always been a comfort to me. At the time of being removed from wickedrest-rp, I had been relying on it to help get me by. I'm generally a creature of habit, and really struggle with change, especially when said change is outside of my control. This is only exacerbated when I am struggling with anxiety and depression. But upon the mods of wickedrest-rp making an announcement telling the group they were going to reboot the entire plot and setting, I was genuinely willing to get on board. It was difficult to process, but I understood the need to refresh the environment. If that was the only announcement, I would have been able to move on, and maybe even reach a place where I was excited about the proposed changes, but there was one rule in particular that worried me the moment I read it. It stated each character kept throughout the reboot could only choose 2 established connections to keep. Though, at first, the choice of words made it sound like it wasn’t a rule that was going to be strictly enforced, as I continued to read on I was given distinctly the opposite impression.

This majorly triggered my anxiety because E, M, and V (three characters within wickedsrest-rp whose names have been redacted) were all integral parts of who Milo (my own character) had become over the course of his time in the group. I spoke to the muns of M, and V who both confirmed they would like to keep Milo as a connection. And given the close relationship between Milo and E, despite not immediately speaking to E’s mun, it became clear I could be facing a difficult choice. If E’s mun decided they would like to keep Milo, even if I cooperated to the best of my ability, and tried to embrace the sudden changes (something I was all too willing to do) I would be forced to choose 1 important connection to essentially abandon.

I already knew from speaking to V’s mun that they were also deeply upset by the rule, and I began to spiral, unable to do anything but panic over the possibility of having to choose between M, E, and V. Anybody who has written in a group setting before can understand the anxiety inducing nature of such an uncertain, and unpredictable situation. The reboot was a handful of months away, and the muns of these characters might eventually choose to leave or drop Milo as a connection, but I felt desperate for some reassurance that if, emphasis on if, when the reboot arrived and all 3 muns wanted to keep their connection to Milo (while I mutually wanted to keep Milo’s connection to their 3 characters) keeping 3 connections could be an option for us all. I was very aware it might not come to that, and I was more than happy to support anybody hoping to drop their muse, or reboot them, I even stated this on multiple occasions, correcting the mods each time they intentionally misunderstood me as you can see in the screenshots below…

What I couldn’t understand, and what I was devastatingly upset by, was the thought of 2 people hoping to keep their connection and not being allowed to if their ‘2 connection quota’ was already up. They would be forced to re-write their characters meeting, and rebuild the already established connection from scratch, with absolutely no justifiable reason. The admins kept insisting it was to create a welcoming environment for new writers, but it felt like that would be at the expense of the writers who had been in the group for long periods of time. I also couldn’t see how 3 connections instead of 2 would make new players feel unwelcome when the rest of the group would be following the 2 connection rule. The mods were trying to tell me 1 additional connection would discourage new players. I had been in the group for nearly a year and a half, and an exception for an additional connection wouldn’t be made by the mods, even just to reassure me, and the other muns involved. As you will see in the screenshots below, I was told they didn’t want to set a precedent for exceptions, but I was also told nobody else in the group even wanted one. What is that if not an entirely pointless abuse of power?

A mun I was talking to about the unfairness of this rule reached out to a mod in a bid to explain they were upset by it. The mod brushed them off, and eventually this person felt if they continued to talk openly about their concerns their place in the group would be in jeopardy. They understandably chose to admit defeat. This particular mun was manipulated into silence. Though I do have proof of this, and full knowledge of the interaction, I don’t want to be responsible for this mun being removed from the group, and it isn’t my story to tell, so unfortunately I cannot provide these screenshots. Not long after this, I saw the mods do the same to another player when they reached out to voice some concerns. Myself, and this mun had been discussing the fact that the next 5 months of writing could arguably be considered worthless, and that it would be difficult to find muse, or the inspiration to form new connections knowing they were going to be erased when the reboot came. Because we both had similar questions surrounding this subject, they agreed to message the mods, passing along the response to me so that I could see what was said about the issue. I witnessed the mods brush them off too, and show a complete disregard for their unease. When this person suggested a poll to see whether players genuinely wanted such a large overhaul of the group, a suggestion the mun and I had discussed together, the mods told them the change would be happening no matter what, and though they didn’t explicitly state it would be happening regardless of whether players wanted it, they made it very clear they were not interested in making changes based on the views of their players. Their wording was careful to imply the mun was being listened to but at the same time they were writing off every concern that was raised without offering any genuine solutions.

While this was happening I was talking to people who had raised their concerns with the mod team, and been brushed off, or essentially told how they should feel. The mods themselves told me on more than one occasion that I should be excited rather than upset. They were actively encouraging anybody with worries, concerns, or issues to message them privately so that they could pressure, or manipulate them into silence. This was only giving the false impression nobody was upset, or anxious. I knew already, from speaking to my fellow members, that a lot of people had been seriously affected by the announcement. At least 2 people I considered friends went on hiatus immediately after the announcement to try and deal with the stress, and anxiety it caused them. I started to realise the mods were specifically asking people to come to them in private because their goal was to stop them from voicing their concerns to other players. This allowed them to maintain the illusion of every single player being excited for the reboot. Everything began to fall into place, and so I decided to ask the questions I had publicly, thinking even if other people didn’t come forward, at least my fellow players would see proof that not everybody was happy about the rules of the reboot. I wanted to make sure players knew there were members of the group who were upset. It also (I ridiculously thought) guaranteed I personally wouldn’t be brushed off, and my questions would not only be considered, but discussed, and answered openly in front of everyone.

I was admittedly worried that speaking out publicly in disagreement with the mods, no matter how polite I was, would put my place in the group at risk, something I really shouldn’t have needed to worry about. It goes without saying that in a group run by fair mods there wouldn’t be any consequence to open, and respectful discourse surrounding such a monumental change. But I was more worried about my potential future need for 3 connections, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop feeling anxious about it so I knew this was my only course of action. At one of my lowest moments, my friend who owns the coffee shop next door to where I live asked me if I was okay while I was picking up a coffee. Not only was I uncharacteristically quiet, for the first time ever I was visiting in my pyjamas, having deeply struggled to find the motivation to crawl out of bed, and dress myself. I burst into tears in the middle of her store. That’s how much this uncertainty was affecting me in my everyday life. Work was a pleasant distraction because I am lucky enough to love my job, but when I was given time to think, I was reminded of the fact that the hobby I leaned on as a mental crutch, the one thing keeping me sane through such a difficult time, was being ripped away from me, and the mods weren’t interested in listening to anyone who tried to explain how negatively the changes were affecting them.

This is why I steeled my resolve, and stubbornly pressed for an answer as to whether a 3 connection exception could be made if it ever became necessary. I did what I could to articulately explain my arguments. It was difficult due to my emotional instability, but looking back over the screenshots of the public conversation I believe I was polite and respectful. Fully aware that tone can often be misread in text, I even made a point of continually re enforcing the fact that I wasn’t angry, or intending to be impolite. I was trying to communicate to the best of my ability. Though, towards the end of the conversation, after so much confusion, and frustration surrounding being intentionally misunderstood by not only the mods, but muns scared of losing their favour with the mods, and subsequently their place in the group, who had been showing blind support, and being rude with me despite a lack of provocation, I will admit I was eventually rude in return. I made a short comment and deleted it minutes after posting. I then apologised for being rude despite the mods being rude to me first, and despite my attitude stemming from being ignored/deliberately misunderstood.

The thing that I find the most upsetting, and part of what drove me to such a point, is the fact that I was being told different things by different mods. On more than one occasion it was heavily implied or even outright stated that exceptions could be made if we discussed them closer to the reboot. Each time I received one of these responses I felt an overwhelming rush of relief. Genuinely that reassurance was all I was hoping for, but it seemed each time I was reassured, it was then stated no exceptions would be made, regardless of when, or whether they were ever discussed. This constant up and down throughout the conversation only made it more difficult for me to stay calm. You can see just how many times the mods managed to contradict themselves in the screenshots posted below.

I stated multiple times, with emphasis, that I was willing to embrace the reboot. In fact, I wanted to keep all of Milo’s connections, so you could argue requesting 3 connections instead of only 2 was a very big compromise on my part, and proof that I was willing to work alongside the proposed changes to the group. Forgetting the fact that I was upset, and frustrated by the lack of respect being shown to the loyal players who would be losing a lot of writing/development, my anxiety over potentially having to lose 1 of 3 integral connections had started to cause me frequent anxiety attacks. There were at least 3 days leading up to being removed where the stress of the situation managed to bring me to tears. I couldn’t figure out a way to relax, especially following the public discussion, so I decided to private message a mod named Elliott. They were notorious among players for disregarding other people’s feelings, taking advantage of their power as a mod, and making selfish decisions within the group, however they were someone I had written a ship with, and who I genuinely felt understood by. When we had spoken in the past about situations I found difficult (Elliott decided to kill/retire Milo’s boyfriend which I struggled with despite encouraging them to take the character in any direction they felt inspired to) I thought I had been listened to, and understood. In the screenshot below you’ll see how this was maliciously thrown back at me so clearly I wasn’t understood, and Elliott didn’t respect my honesty, or the (what appeared to be at the time) healthy dialogue that followed it.

Despite seeing how Elliott had treated other players who had spoken to them, I was somewhat naively hoping with more people coming forward, they might begin to see how big the issue really was, and how many players were feeling hurt/betrayed. But Elliott brushed me off in the same way they brushed off other players, intentionally misunderstanding me like the mods had in the public chat. I could see all of the mods were deliberately misreading my messages, misunderstanding me in an attempt to make me look far less reasonable than I was being, but I did my best to continue being polite with them. They were cold, and calculating, and I could see what they were doing, I could also see that it was working, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I allowed them to frustrate me, and rile me up into a state of abrasiveness, something I’m sure they were hoping to do so that they could accuse me of being toxic. But I refused to let them manipulate me into passive silence.

It was around this point that I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable staying in wickedsrest-rp. After being treated so badly, and realising how little the mods actually cared about me, it was already becoming a stifling, and uncomfortable environment. But like everybody else who was upset, I was torn. A year and 4 months of writing is an awful lot of development to throw away, and I genuinely enjoyed the group up until this complication. I had so many incredible plots I was working through, and for a long time wickedsrest-rp had been my safe space. If I lost that, I had no crutch, and finding long lasting groups isn’t always easy. That being said, I was hurt, angry, and betrayed, and so I stopped using my filter. I know I was rude, and I fully admit that, I’m taking responsibility for my part in this. But it’s important to note that I was only ever rude in response to feeling ignored, or disregarded. It could be argued I overstepped Elliott’s boundaries by replying to our private messages after they expressed a wish to step away, but I believe it’s far more nuanced than that, and you will see why in the screenshots below.

The first time they asked to step away, I, albeit impolitely, responded. But in this response of mine I ended the conversation specifically due to Elliott asking to step away. Elliott was then the one to continue the discussion, and I cannot stress that enough. The second time they expressed a wish to step away, I replied to their final message exclusively in response to the arguments they had made before their request to end our interaction. I said what I needed to then stopped replying, and despite being blunt about it because of how emotional I was, I stated it was to respect Elliott's need for space. That means on both occasions Elliott asked for the conversation to end, I actively made an attempt to honour their wish, and officially close the discussion. To me, this feels like the opposite of not respecting boundaries.

Had I continued to message, or harass them, had I outright ignored their request, then I would understand the accusation of not respecting boundaries. It isn’t fair to treat this as such a black and white disregard for Elliott’s wellbeing, especially when my own wellbeing was blatantly being ignored which you are able to see evidence of in the main folder of these screenshots. I cared about them. I cared enough to acknowledge their request, in spite of how angry, and hurt I was. I made an active effort which is more than I can say for Elliott.

Almost immediately after the end of the conversation I was kicked from the group. I woke up from a nap to find the admins had removed me. They had then, almost comically, made a statement to the group claiming I wasn’t kicked because I disagreed with them on the connection rule, but because I disrespected somebody’s boundaries in a private message the group would never be able to see. Another clever way of trying to maintain the lie, to pretend everybody in the group was happy, and that the mods were only ever being respectful, and fair. I literally tried to end my conversation with Elliott twice because I was attempting to respect their boundaries. I’m not claiming to have done this well, but I genuinely made an attempt. Other people have done worse and not been asked to leave the group. As far as I’m concerned, the fact that the mods even felt the need to make such a ridiculous statement shows how obvious it is that I was removed because I had the audacity to ask for an exception to a ridiculous rule.

They were nervous people might start to see through the cracks, see how controlling, and manipulative they actually are. No doubt the fear of speaking out against their authority has only grown in strength since I was removed, which means they have been successful in their goal. After a year and 4 months of no issues, after writing a ship with Elliot for months, they didn’t think to send me a warning, or a strike, or talk to me about the fact that they felt I had disrespected their boundaries. The mods removed me with no concern over why I was upset enough to send emotionally charged messages in the first place.

In the leaving message they sent me to explain why they were removing me from wickedsrest-rp, they stated reasons that were vastly different from the ones they offered to the group. Reasons that were blatantly not true, and very easy to disprove, such as ‘you are not willing to compromise, you are pressuring people into keeping their characters the same’. I’m going to re share a screenshot from the beginning of this post before sharing the message they sent me, so that you can blatantly see their contradictions. It would almost be laughable if it hadn’t caused me so much anxiety.

Obviously, some of the reasons listed are more complex, based on the emotional responses of people I had spoken to, but some are outright dishonest, and you only have to read the conversations to see they aren't truthful statements. In the post addressed to the group the mods claimed I wasn’t removed due to their perceived notion of me being against the reboot. And yet in the messages sent to me they claimed I was being removed not just because I ‘disrespected boundaries’ but specifically because I was not being ‘open minded’ about the reboot. This is despite the fact that I never had any issues with the reboot, and made that clear on more than one occasion. My issue was with an unnecessary, and unfair rule the reboot would come alongside. The whole situation has been incredibly hurtful. The fact that other people felt the same way as I did but remained passive is also infuriating because it has allowed the mods to pretend private complaints aren’t happening, and insist everybody is showing positive responses to the announcement.

Elliott lied to me about the people approaching them feeling satisfied, and excited after voicing their concerns, despite two people sending me screenshots of them messaging the mods in an attempt to explain how upset they were, messages Elliott themself had actually responded to. These players were essentially ignored by the very people telling them to reach out, and they were anything but comforted by the treatment they received. If anything, they felt gaslit, and manipulated into backing down.

It’s an awful way to treat people, especially considering people rp for fun, and grow attached to their characters. This group was my mental health crutch, and I really, really needed it. My safe space, and my comfort character have been stolen from me by people who are supposed to support, and encourage their players. It’s a HOBBY. I know players have spoken to the mods before about the rigid, and unempathetic way they choose to run their group. It feels strict, and uncomfortable, like a job where you are micro-managed by your ‘superiors’ and fired by them if they find any kind of personal motive to remove of you. Anybody who dares to question them or disagree with them has been removed either quietly, or under false pretences.

I also find it interesting the mods used the fact that they were willing to reboot their own muses as a way of justifying their players being forced to do so. They clearly have no understanding of how different it is to choose that path, and have it forced upon you. It’s important to note the passive aggressive smiley in the screenshot posted below. The mods (Casey in particular) were the first to become rude with me during the public discussion, the frustration from this fact played a big role in how emotional I was when speaking to Elliott.

Everything about this situation shows just how out of touch they are with being a player in a long lasting group. It’s a heart-breaking position to be in, and I feel so justified in my anger. I know people who have been a part of their reboots in the past. They have told me with confidence that every previous reboot has been met with the same anger, and frustration, inevitably leading to people leaving the group, yet the mods ignore any complaints, and publicly claim the reboots are successful for the selfish motivations of rebooting their own characters, rewriting the lore/setting around what they want to change, primarily for their own gain. I guess they see their players as collateral damage.

The worst part of this entire mess is that they could do all of these things while allowing people to make their own choices for their own characters, there is no reason at all for them to ignore their players, and not find ways to make these changes comfortable for everyone involved. After being removed, I was incredibly upset. I posted a public message on Milo’s account about how my experience with the mods had been terrible. I also sent an emotional ask (screenshots provided in the google drive because I’m genuinely not trying to pretend I didn’t have a strong reaction to being removed) making it clear to the mods that a lot of the group were angry, and upset with them. I was desperate for them to know people were too scared of them to come forward, and the treatment I received was exactly why. Recently I messaged them from a separate account (Milo’s account having been blocked by wickedsrest-rp) in the hopes of getting further clarification as to why I was removed. Part of me was genuinely hoping to have a serious conversation with them about everything that had taken place.

I’ve been in a really dark place without being able to write Milo, and I was debating for a short while whether I might be open to re-joining the group if the opportunity ever presented itself. If writing in wickedsrest-rp allowed me that desperately needed respite from my mental health then maybe I could keep my head down and try to forget about the way that I had been treated. I know at least 2 people who have told me they would leave if they didn’t believe their mental health would suffer without the crutch of writing there. And I can genuinely understand that position. But part of me also knew, even if they didn’t want to openly discuss what had taken place, any dismissive, or rude messages would further add to my proof of their mistreatment. I was stupidly too anxious to remember to screenshot the ask I sent, but in it I apologised (profusely) for my behaviour, and requested a group message including all of the mods. I knew if I didn’t take responsibility, and lay it on thick, I had no hope of ever being contacted, so I did everything to appear sincere, and appeal to their overinflated egos. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what might have been achieved if they did decide to answer me, but it would have been interesting to see whether they doubled down on their dishonesty. I’ll never know how they would have handled further discourse, because instead of recognising my ask was overwhelmingly reasonable, and polite, and nothing about my behaviour was extreme enough to warrant outright ignoring me, they blocked the account I used to send the ask. They refuse to speak to me, and so I’ve become another mistreated player, another person they cast aside, and attempted (emphasis on attempted) to silence.

But I won’t let them pretend they run a group of happy players. I won’t let them pretend they have treated me fairly and that I was removed due to ‘disrespecting boundaries’ rather than disagreeing publicly with an unreasonable rule. I will not let them sweep me aside so that they can continue the pretence of being well liked by their players. A lot of their group, and I know this because people have actively confided in me, are too scared to leave because they will have nowhere else to go. They are too scared to abandon such long, and complexly developed pieces of writing. So much so, that I know for a fact at least one person in the group was removed by them before without a fair, or justifiable reason, and said person was so desperate for a place to write that they re-joined under an alias despite how horrifically they had been treated. I refuse to do that. I won’t give these mods the satisfaction of supporting them again, and I’m not going to let them treat me like this without making it known to the community. If you’ve made it this far, I’m genuinely impressed. I sincerely thank you for hearing me out. Hopefully you’ll appreciate this story, and consider leaving the group to find somewhere better, somewhere that appreciates you. Or you’ll avoid the group when it re opens for applications, and recognise the fact that, whoever you are, and whoever your character is, wickedsrest-rp doesn’t deserve you.

Rest assured, it definitely doesn’t deserve me.

#wickedstarter #wickedswriting #wickedsolo #wickedsanon #wickedsrest-rp

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