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vickylamore · 3 years

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Cyborg City

Series: [26 Days of Alphabetical AUs Fics - Mini Masterlist]

Letter + AU: Letter C, Cyborg AU (inspired by Obsession - EXO)

TW: Dark humour, gore, language, the governement

Pairing: Platonic!EXO , Brother!Park Chanyeol (EXO) x Sister!Female Reader

Genre: Cyborg AU, Crack, Headcanons

Word count: 2k

“if you stop running, we’ll have to detain you but it’ll hurt a lot less.”

“yeah, because that’s so fucking reassuring.”

you technically wouldn’t be having this conversation if you didn’t sneak into a government facility filled with biotechnology and get caught but go figure.

also, being on top of a super high building with cars literally racing each other near a highway isn’t really that fun but chances are you have a slim to none chance of surviving if he doesn’t get here in time.

it’ll be his head on a silver platter if he doesn’t hurry up.

the purple and blue fluorescent lights on every building and banner along with the pink hued sunset were really starting to hurt your eyes, you had to blink a couple times before taking a few steps back to stop the heavy geared officers from approaching you, the sole of your foot on the edge of the building.

“hey, get away from the edge.”

“you guys switched up so fast.” you couldn’t really tell if it was a woman or a man speaking because of the huge head gear while the other kept glancing at the distance between you and your possible death.

not that it mattered, it’s not like you’re going to jump.

“look, if you just put the bag down, we’ll let you go.”

“yeah,” you scoffed with a laugh, “by signing me to a fucking coffin. God, I hate the government.”

“I’ll lose my job!”

you sent the officer the most perplexed look you could pull off before laughing again, “that sounds like a you problem.”

“listen, I’ve got an older brother who’s in pretty bad shape and I need these things,” you glanced at your watch for a second before smiling at the officers, “so, if you’ll excuse me.”

“what are you-- hey!”

you just had to lean your back off the edge to start free falling. it was like a lucid dream, everything felt so calm and peaceful, even with the screaming in the background.

ever since the crisis in 2007, everything had switched from modern day technology to robots and cyborgs in a fourteen years, everything that was once run by humans were now taken over by robots.

which would explain the very dark futuristic allure to the entire city, it would also explain why you aren’t completely fearing for your life as of right now.

“come on, come on, come on…” you closed your eyes, the wind clotting your ears, everything seemingly becoming an eco around you.

was it fun falling? you almost laughed at the thought that crossed your mind.

of course not; it literally felt like you were in the middle of an airplane that had just entered low pressured air.

“Jongin I swear to god if you don’t catch me, I’m not the only one that’ll kill you in hell!” you wondered if he even heard you, let alone knows where you are.

your brother is going to be more than upset if he finds out that one of his partners let you go splat.

if he finds out. it really does depend on you if you can even get to him before his entire system goes haywire.

you opened your eyes and screamed; you were so much closer to the ground than you thought, you were just seconds away from actually dying.

I can’t believe this is happening.

the people on the sidelines were watching you’re so close to your own fucking death as others were already trying to call cyborg officers, those who aren’t necessarily 100% human, to catch you in time.

you might actually die.

at least it’ll be before your brother because that man is in pretty rough shape right now.

but you don’t know what's worse; dying by getting hit by an oncoming truck or dying because your system is making you go coo-coo.

“it’s fun watching someone plunge to their death.”

you’ve never felt so annoyed yet relieved that here his voice.

“bite me.”

now that Jongin was flying above you with a comical smirk on his face to play hero, he grabbed your waist just before you were supposed to come in contact with the truck and flew all the way to a building about ten miles from where you were.

“son of a bitch, don’t ever fucking do that again.” you hissed at the blue-green haired man while catching your breath, “I almost lost my life, not that I’m complaining but still.”

Jongin was your best friend and at the same time, your worst enemy. he's probably the reason you don’t sleep at night because of the endless phone calls and messages and the reason for nearly all your mental problems but is also the one person who hasn’t tried to intentionally kill you.

win-win? maybe.

he was actually the first person out of the six dumbasses to reveal himself as a cyborg; his left eye, although normal at first glance, is a red-eyed machine and his back has built-in boosters acquiring them after a freak car accident as a child.

“you’re alive are you not?” he deadpanned before smirking, “should’ve done myself a favour and let you die.”

taking you back to the bunker was easy, getting you inside was also pretty easy.

but getting you to the small makeshift lab with Chanyeol about to kill literally everyone he sees is honestly tragic.

what's even worse is that the rest of them were still trying to sedate him after you’ve been gone for nearly an hour.

can’t say you’re disappointed; your brother is pretty bad when upset.

luckily, another episode has stopped and he’s finally out cold, Jongdae laying him on the couch while letting out a tired breath.

right, another episode.

the crisis in ‘07 was the tragic story of a group of scientists who created several artificial intelligences in order to save the world.

that certainly didn’t go as planned.

the technology was so new that they didn’t realize the consequences of giving these computers unlimited access to the internet, to information and better yet, classified information from neighbouring countries.

despite the fact that that alone would have caused a war, nothing was solvable until the artificial intelligences started creating more and more of their own. they took over machines, systems, nearly everything that was filled with technology, poor or high end.

so what did the government decide to do? Find any machine part and use it on strangers and the weak to make them stronger and to possibly wipe out the crisis.

it worked for the first six years, even with the mass protests about sacrificing the lives of innocent people, they didn’t stop.

and it was in 2013 that the government started getting power hungry. they redid everything to make the city look much ‘tech-like’.

electricians were replaced by robots as well as carpenters, construction workers and anything to do with manual labour was all taken by the government.

less money to spend on people.

and the worse this was that they left those humans that had tech parts to rot away.

but they came back stronger than ever and nearly half the city as cyborgs while the other half is either the government or innocent people, like you and it’s literally the government vs the people and cyborgs.

so it’s fine :)

now an episode is when a cyborg system starts failing whether it’s because of heat, cold, water, electricity-- they’re also machines and some machines deal with some problems better than others.

your brother’s right eye is a bitch with a built in voice system.

yes, his right eye talks.

when the AI eye (lmao) starts overwriting itself, the cells in his body are so used to the machine in his body that they trust it and what happens when the body trusts something?

in Chanyeol’s case, his cells start attacking each other and that’s about it.

it sounds awful, which it is, but instead of getting sick he just gets super angry because little miss right eyeball decided to play peek-a-boo with evil and make him want to kill everyone he sees.

you peaked around the corner and walked into the living and saw all the guys laying on the floor with some half asleep.

the guys, EXO, a group meaning… something something organism were technically always friends and just got closer when they all learned they were cyborgs,

“his episode stopped?” you asked anyone.

“mh-hm.”

“and you just sedated him?”

“fucking take it or leave it,” Sehun complained with a groan and sat up, looking at the bag you have in between your fingers. “did you get everything?”

“yeah, I did,” you shook the bag and shuffled your way to the next room, “Baek, Myeon, catch a cure or catch a case, pick one.”

usually, you’d already have the serum already done and ready because you’re pretty smart and figured out how to reverse the effects with the help of Junmyeon and Baekhyun of course, the former with one with a half of einstein’s brain and the other half of an AI and the other one with built in sound-chips and fingers able to attract any metal at will like magnets.

best team to make a cure with^

making the entire serum is actually pretty easy, however, it just takes an entirety to cool down and if not giving at the right temperature, or at least close to it, Chanyeol dies.

fun.

and of course, right when the cure is about to be ready, your brother wakes up.

and it’s not him speaking.

it’s that fucking right eyes.

a loud crash comes from the living room, at which you three snap your heads towards the source of the noise. you immediately look at Baekhyun who cringes at whatever he’s hearing.

“what is it?”

“First off, that fucking voice is annoying and two,” the platinum silver male squints before pulling you to the side just in time to see a chair fly into the room and travel right where you were. “that eye has a vendetta against you.”

“hUh?”

as if your luck couldn’t get any better, that disgusting high ass voice rings through the compound, “come out here you punny bitch, I want another eye, a real one this time ha ha!”

“oh my gosh she sounds like Yumeko but like… computer voice Yumeko with reverb.”

“who?” you brushed Junmyeon off, “don’t worry about it, figure out a way to cool that thing down, you’re smart, figure it out. And Baek, I need ears so come with me.”

you just ran all the way to the living room while Baekhyun was helping you avoid anything she threw at you, including Jongin’s body.

when you arrived, you cringed really really hard, “you will catch me doing many things but you will never fucking catch me looking at that.” you gagged. “oh my gosh why is that fucking eye out of his fucking socket!?”

“It’s sci-fi!”

you screamed at the black haired male with a terrified expression, “when was this ever fiction?!”

“not the time!” Jongdae yelled at Sehun who’s finger had turned into a flamethrower.

a flamethrower.

Sehun is the least out of your fucking concerns but a flamethrower.

“we aren’t burning my brother!”

“oh my,” his voice made you want to hurl, not only was your brother giving you this really creepy smile but he sounded like your favorite anime protagonist. “she’s really cute when she’s mad!”

“oh shit.”

oh shit is right Jongdae, oh shit is right.

you don’t remember what happened but your eyes saw red, oops.

you remember saying something along the lines of, “you think I’m pretty when mad? well love, I’m about to be fucking gorgeous!”

and suddenly you were on his back bashing his head in with your fists.

which you know hurts because when you woke up, your knuckles were red and sore and Chanyeol had a gauze on the back of his head and a mild concussion.

apparently Junmyeon was able to cool down the serum just when you were about to kill your own brother because the AI in his eye called you ‘cute when mad’.

you were raised by that man, what was he expecting?

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of-another-broken-heart · 3 years

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I’m just going to copy/paste this because it took me hours and I’m drained.

I guess I have to format it again if I want it to show up at all...

I couldn't even make it back home before breaking down crying again.

Driving while chronically sleep deprived, exhausted, fatigued, and dissociating is bad enough. Doing it with all that AND without being able to see? How special.

I barely had time to sit down, my phone rang. I answered it, begging for someone to hear me. For thirty straight seconds. "Hello? Hello? Hello???" Finally someone spoke, but they couldn't hear me. I'm sobbing. They hung up. I scrambled to call back, from my computer, because at least then I'm not fighting a lack of reception as well as my anxiety. They called again. I didn't answer. I waited for my computer to ring through instead. I'm put on hold. I'm sobbing. It was just to ask what my pharmacy is. Which I already answered on my paperwork. Which I answered, again, at check-out. And I was forced into a third confirmation via a pointless, needless, anxiety-attack inducing phone call hazing. For something I already answered.

It's not fucking fun. People don't choose this. I didn't choose this. But does it matter? "Call," the command comes. "Just call." "Call to confirm." "Call to ask." "Call." "Call." "Call."

I want you to think of something that takes physical hold of your body and brings to you to tears. I want you to hold that and sit with it until it does those things. I want you to choose to reduce yourself to a sobbing mess, struggling to breathe, alone. And I want you to picture a world where you are commanded, demanded, required to do this. For virtually everything. Imagine needing help - but you must first re-traumatize yourself with your most painful memories until your nose is running and your eyes burn from crying. And you're exhausted for the rest of the day, too. Maybe multiple days. Absolutely exhausted. So fucking depleted that taking yourself to the bathroom is almost impossible. Feeding yourself - even eating something out of a can, or microwaved - is a herculean effort. Does that sound fun? Of course not.

As for the appointment itself: It's the same. Much better bedside manner. But it's the same underlying capitalism-serving "care" system. It's my fault. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm not blacking out alone on the side of the road enough. I haven't dissociated hard enough and/or blacked out while driving yet, so it can't be that bad, right? Not until I'm maimed or dead, right? Why address the root of a problem when we can just plaster on endless band-aids instead? When we can blame you for hurting, instead of the environment that's poisoning you? I'm not medically sedating myself into an obedient little wage slave, and that's the real problem. I should aspire to produce capital for someone with most of the remaining hours of my life. That's the purpose of living, that's the reason for "health"care - not to care about health, no, just to keep the wheels of capitalism well-oiled with wasted human life. Inherent human value? Quality of life? Nah.

They refused my medical history. I brought the 72-page pdf on a flash drive. Because that's how I was given it. Because I can't afford to buy and operate a personal fax machine and/or print out a chapter book's worth of pages of medical records. I went through the trouble of getting the files, and it took over a month - only to be told "we can't take anything but paper or fax." I filled out a file release form as best I could. But I didn't have the phone number or address memorized. Not even before that place became synonymous with medical neglect and trauma for me. So now they're going to go through the ancient months-long ritual of requesting the self-fucking-same documents from LISH, either by mail or fax, because they "can't" access a flash drive or a pdf or use email. Welcome to 2021. We're back to "normal" and teleheath never existed and the internet is fake and technology is a myth and why do anything efficiently when you can waste time and do damage to people instead? My Aunt called to check in on me during her lunch break. (Thank you again) She offered to get the file printed and try to hand it in for me. I'm too tired to hope. I'm too exhausted to think they'll accept it without fuss. Anything and everything to make things harder.

Top priority order of business is the whole "diseased for life" thing. Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Hypothyroidism. Daily hormones for every day of the rest of forever, gatekept behind eternal doctor visits and prescriptions and pharmacies and copays and and and and did I mention this is forever? I've got a referral to have a thyroid sonogram done. Haven't ever had one of those before. Need to make that appointment. I was able to have my blood drawn for the thyroid testing without needing an additional appointment, which was a nice change of pace. Normally you're supposed to fast for that, but I wasn't expecting that could be done during the visit. Three years of having to make additional trips to the lab for blood work. I ate immediately before getting there, so hopefully nothing had a chance to metabolize and skew the results. Even though it was great not to have to juggle yet another appointment for health shit, it was stressful. The nurse took three tries before she had all the supplies she needed in the room. I already have anxiety spikes (which also raise my blood pressure and heart rate) for all doctor visits now. (White Coat Syndrome, I learned, it's called) I didn't need to have a rubber cable tied around my arm, popped off, tied again, popped off, and tied a third and final time to make it worse. A pro to that con: she was incredibly accurate and gentle. I normally have sub-dermal bleeding and some bruising after having blood drawn, and keep the bandage on for a day or two. The bandage didn't last even an hour after I got home - but there wasn't a single spot of trapped blood, and I almost couldn't even tell where she stuck me.

I have another new diagnosis to add to my growing collection. Hypertension. High blood pressure. I used to have slightly low blood pressure. It stunned the first doctor I ever saw (you know, because I'm fat, so that sort of thing is supposed to be ~impossible~) and it frustrated my last doctor at first, too. But now, with years of building stress and anxiety? It's almost like living with your most basic human needs barely provided (food, shelter, healthcare - let's not bring up social needs LMAO those don't count anyway, right?), and at constant risk of being taken away, for months (years, in some cases) on end, is some form of stress. It's almost like being constantly dismissed and told "you're just not trying hard enough" (WHILE TRYING YOUR BEST JUST TO SURVIVE EACH DAY) is some form of stress!It's almost like perpetual, ongoing, worsening stress has a negative impact on your heart! It's almost like there are decades of data that spell this out, plain as day!It's almost like I noticed my elevated heart rate back in NOVEMBER and mentioned it out of concern to my last doctor - who dismissed it outright because my reading in-office wasn't *that* bad, and also shouldn't I be on 5487 psych meds instead? If I was sedated out of my mind, I wouldn't be physically capable of feeling stress in my body despite the presence of real-world stress factors. That's healthy, right? Don't bother to solve the stressors, just neuter the body's response to them. Super healthy response. (Not) My GYN took note of my concern in December, when my vitals DID show as high in-office. Not that my GYN had the jurisdiction to do anything about it. I'm being put on another medication to try to mitigate this, and potentially also address some anxiety. I haven't picked it up yet. I don't know the name. I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. "Your copay is only a dollar!" Yes well, when you don't have a dollar, you can't afford a dollar, can you?

I was given a list of psychiatrists. To "Call!!"Precisely none of them are a reasonable distance away. Nearly half aren't even in my insurance network. Some explicitly exclude Medicaid. Others are exclusively for children. I was suggested a medication for depression and anxiety. I can't remember which one. Either Abilify or Lexapro? I declined it for now, either way. I wanted to be able to research it. Lexapro is just another SSRI and I already know those don't work for me. Adding a chemical bouncer to my brain to make sure the happy chemicals stay out to play doesn't help when there are no happy chemicals in the first place. A quick search for Abilify doesn't address anxiety at all so it was probably Lexapro. In which case, I am not interested in repeating a different-flavor-Prozac experience. It was not good. I didn't get any notes with that medication, regardless. I got a sticky note with "Valerian Root Extract (tea or tincture)" and "Magnesium Glycinate 2 capsules" scribbled on it, instead. Out-of-pocket home rem-maybes. I can't afford to experiment with snake oils, so mostly I'll probably just spend a bunch of time looking for data and research and studies for those substances, and that's it. If I get around to psychiatric care, I will have to start from scratch in my insurance's shoddy search tool, again. And, frankly, it's not a priority. My mental health struggles are the result of a lot of physical factors and external/social factors, and no amount of artificial chemicals bullying my brain is going to solve any of it. When your car starts leaking oil, you don't just commit to buying more oil forever and dribbling it all over, wherever you go. You fix the fucking leak. If your house has a gas leak, you don't invest in gas masks. You fix the fucking leak. If you end up with a burst pipe, you don't commit to wasting water and money and damaging your environment. You fix. The fucking. Leak. But in these comparisons, I'm getting prescribed oil and gas masks and infinite water damage/waste/bills as long-term care.

I mentioned my fatigue. It was the final straw that made me give up with the last doctor. It just keeps getting worse. It's been getting worse for over 3 years. And I'm so, so fucking tired of it getting pinned fully on the fact that I'm not on psych meds. I WAS on psych meds during part of those 3 years with my last doctor. And it didn't fucking make any difference! A daily chemical lobotomy does not address or restore my lack of physical energy. My decades-old medication-resistant insomnia has never vanished with psych meds before, and it's not likely to do it now. Especially not with yet another of the same family of chemicals that I already know don't work. I want my concern to be taken seriously. I don't want it just brushed into the mental health corner, again. Being too tired to even do the things you used to enjoy - no one fucking wants this! I don't want this! I miss being able to go for walks. I miss going to the gym. I miss seeing how much I could do, and feeling good, and feeling strong. And I can't do any of that now. Not without risking harming myself in the process.

No one wants this. I keep talking, but it feels like no one listens. At the earliest opportunity, we're back to repeating the same tired old shit that doesn't work. I try to come prepared, and the stress and time and system make sure I fail to stand up for myself anyway. I didn't get to document my disordered eating history. The relapse this year. Restricting, sometimes to the point of not eating at all. I declined to be weighed, because I want my care to be based on relevant data, vitals, blood results - not the shape and size of my body. But I was too tired to realize I needed to dodge a verbal ask for the same information. Which, it turns out, is nearly as bad a trigger as having the scale spit it out for me. Being your own advocate for equal care, when you're already tapped out? I'm not winning that challenge.

I'm frustrated. I'm not giving up, but I am frustrated and beyond tired. I don't really expect anyone to read this mess. But it's here.

#personal

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particularemu · 4 years

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Insanity | A Hwang Hyunjin Series | Part 2

Part: [Prologue] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14] [Part 15] [Epilogue]

Word Count: 4668

Type: ANGST, FLUFF

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, violence, blood, gore? (kind of but not really), suicide, manic episodes? Idk what to call it, but someone goes nuts.

Tag List: @alightiny @joojoosiwa (bby tumblr won’t let me tag you 🥺)

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long. I’m hoping to have a chapter out every other day, but please don’t quote me on that in case it doesn’t happen.

Thank you @jisungsjheekies for helping figure out where tf to end this chapter lmao.

Panic filled every fiber of Hyunjin’s being as he raced down the hallways, following the older boy through the maze of doors. “What’s going on?” Hyunjin panted, mentally cursing himself for refusing to work on cardio when he was at the gym.

“One of my patients,” Minho turned a corner, nearly bumping into a nurse before he rushed down to door 304. “David… He’s trying to kill himself.” He panted.

“So you decided to leave him alone and call me?” Hyunjin’s brows creased as he stared at Minho. Why on earth would he leave a suicidal patient by himself? That’s a recipe for disaster! Besides… Hyunjin knew about a lot of things. He knew about many different medications to aid mental illnesses, he knew how to diagnose mental disorders, hell… he even knew the entire medical dictionary front to back. Talking someone out of suicide? That’s something Hyunjin has no experience in, nor does he know how to handle it.

Minho sighed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves. “Look, I know it sounds stupid, but you’re his only chance.” Minho paused, catching his breath before continuing. “I told him that I knew a guy who’s trying to take down the hospital.” Minho lowered his hands, eyes boring into Hyunjin’s, “You’re the only one who’s willing to admit that this place is fucked up.” He paused, trying to find the right words to say. “Look, you’re his only chance. I need your help.”

“How do you know you can trust me?” Hyunjin’s brow raised up as he asked the question.

Minho chuckled. “I wouldn’t be here if you tattled.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but wonder what the older boy meant. Would they have fired Minho if Hyunjin talked about the confrontation in the janitor’s closet? Minho did mention something about being admitted to the hospital… Would he…

“There’s no time. Let’s go.” Minho’s voice shook Hyunjin out of his thoughts.

Right! The suicidal patient!

Hyunjin’s eyes widened as Minho opened the door, lips pursing together to hide the quiet gasp that slipped past his lips. An older man stood in the corner, chair in front of him as if the rickety piece of oak would shield the man from any attacks. A long shard of glass, taken from the broken lamp on the floor, was pointed to his neck, blood running down his palm from where the jagged edges sliced the skin.

The boy couldn’t help but panic. He had to suppress his reactions, or he might make the situation worse. The last thing Hyunjin wanted to do was end up pushing the man to take his life. Hyunjin knew all the medications that would help the man, he knew about different methods to prevent suicide — but how on earth do you convince someone to put the weapon down and allow the doctors to help? All he needed to do was get that jagged shard of glass away from the man… Then they could talk to him — convince him that life’s worth living.

“This hospital is a fucking prison.” The man sneered, arm frantically waving the jagged shard of glass around as if the two boys were attacking him. “Get away from me! None of you fuckers want to help us!” The man’s wide eyes darted around the room, searching for men wielding sharp needles, waiting to strap him to the bed.

Hyunjin could feel his heart drop into his stomach. He’s seen lots of mentally deranged patients when he was training, but he’s never seen such genuine panic in a person’s face. This man clearly thought that Hyunjin and Minho were going to hurt him.

“That’s not true David.” Minho backed away from the man, hands fumbling behind him to slide the drawer open, just enough for his fingers to grab a syringe from the contents in the drawer. “This is Dr. Hyunjin. He’s the man I told you about. The one who wants to burn this place to the ground.” Minho’s eyes darted to Hyunjin — a silent nudge begging him to go along with it, to be a distraction so the boy could get enough of the sedative in the syringe to knock David out before he could hurt anyone.

To successfully distract the man, Hyunjin had to improvise — to pretend that he had a plan. Knowing the man’s name helped… That’ll give Hyunjin a fighting chance to relate to the man — to convince him that someone out there cared about him. “I already have a way out.” Hyunjin reached his hand out to the frightened man, pulling back when the glass was thrust towards him. Hyunjin raised his hands in surrender, caring eyes crinkling gently as he smiled. “I just need you to put that down. Then you and I can get out of here. David, you’ll be free.”

The crazy man lowered his hand, eyes glazing over as he thought about Hyunjin’s request. “You have a way out?”

Hyunjin’s eyes went wide. He didn’t think this far ahead. Think Hyunjin think… How could a runaway man escape the asylum?

“Yes. Hyunjin dug a tunnel in the basement.” Minho cut in. “It took him weeks to dig that thing. Where does it let out again Hyunjin? Isn’t it out by the lake?”

Hyunjin nodded, reminding himself to thank the older boy later for saving his ass. “It’s out by the lake, where no one will find it. David, we have to go. If we don’t —”

“You’re lying!” David screamed.

Three things happened over the span of a minute.

1. Minho took the opportunity to open the syringe and stab the needle into the sedative. The boy tipped the bottle up and filled the syringe with the proper dose before turning to check up on Hyunjin.

2. Hyunjin dropped to the ground, missing the bloody shard of glass by an inch as David rushed forward, arm swinging wildly. The boy managed to slip under the table, dodging yet another swing from the crazed man. Hyunjin moved around the table, waiting for the man’s next strike until he heard something that made his heart drop.

3. “Hyunjin?” Your frightened voice made the crazy man stop — the pure genuine fear in your eyes making him wonder if you were like him, if you were stuck there too. Seeing Hyunjin get attacked like that scared you beyond all reason. He was the only person you could trust. You couldn’t lose him.

Hyunjin kept facing the crazy man, refusing to look away in case David decided to get violent once more. He backed up to your shivering form, hand reaching behind him to feel for you, to reassure him that you’re safe. Hyunjin sighed in relief when he felt your hand against his back. “It’s not safe here. Go back to your room.”

Your bright eyes glassed over at his stern tone, but you couldn’t leave him. You wanted to help — you’ve been there too. “Why are you trying to hurt these people? If you want to get out of here, violence isn’t the answer.” You tried to keep your voice strong, but fear took over, leaving you a shaky mess. Hyunjin glared at you as you stepped beside him, grabbing his arm for comfort.

“Go back to your room. Now.” Hyunjin spoke through his teeth, the deep voice throwing you off guard. You didn’t want to piss him off, but if there was a chance — any chance — that you could save this man’s life, you wanted to try to talk him out of it.

“This place is a prison.” David spat at Minho, making the boy scrunch his nose in disgust. You would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so dire. “Get out while you can. These fucking people will do everything in their power to keep you here!” The man swung the shard of glass a couple times. “I’ll hold them off. You get out of here!”

“It’s not bad.” You mumbled. “Minho’s your caretaker right?” You sighed in relief when the man nodded. “He cares about his patients.”

“No, he doesn’t.” David snapped, pure hatred in his tone as he waved the jagged piece of glass at Minho. “That piece of shit doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

For a second, your eyes darted to Minho’s defeated frame, once sparkly eyes turning dull as his shoulders fell. The image of Minho’s guilt-ridden face was engraved in your memory, even when Hyunjin nudged you with his shoulder.

“Get out now.” Hyunjin turned his head, lips brushing against your ear as he practically snarled. “This isn’t a game. This man will kill you.”

“That’s not true.” You tightened your grip around Hyunjin’s arm, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes as Hyunjin attempted to shake you off. “Minho has always taken good care of me.” You paused, noticing Minho start to make his way behind the suicidal man. “He was always there to hold me when I was going through panic attacks.” You tried to smile through your tears. “He’s one of the best caretakers in this institution.” As soon as Minho was positioned behind the man, needle in hand, you put the pieces together. They were going to sedate him. You kept talking, trying to keep the man distracted. “You’ll get out of here soon if you put the glass down, but you won’t be going anywhere if you kill someone.”

David looked frightened, eyes glassing over as he tightened his grip on the glass, slicing a deeper cut onto his palm. “You have no idea what this place is.” His shaky voice shook you to the core.

“You do?” You gestured to the room. “How do you know what this place is? We aren’t allowed out of our rooms.” What on earth could he be talking about? Sure, this hospital wasn’t the best in the country, but you were getting help right? Was this place evil? You knew Dr. Henry was an asshole, but you didn’t know the whole institution was fucked up.

David’s gaze shifted to his feet, hand lowering “I used to work here.”

Your lips parted in surprise, arms tightening around Hyunjin as your brain tried to process the unexpected information.

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin asked. Does this have something to do with what Minho said? People who don’t listen get admitted…

“I used to work here back in 94.” David’s face turned sour. “It wasn’t like this back then. The doctors cared about their patients, and the institution wasn’t fenced in and gated like a prison.” David paused, trying to remember the good days before everything went to hell. “My wife was pregnant, and I needed to find a job closer to home so I could help her raise the baby. When I tried to quit —”

Minho took the opportunity to rush forward, hand knocking the jagged shard of glass out of David’s hands. David’s eyes instantly filled with rage, teeth-baring as he dodged the needle in Minho’s hands. “You fucking people.” He laughed maniacally. “I should have known.” David grabbed the glass on the ground — ready to kill.

“GET OUT.” Pure adrenaline took over Hyunjin, hands pushing you out of the way as the man lunged for Hyunjin. The pure force of Hyunjin’s hands sent you tumbling to the floor, fear filling every fiber of your being at his rough behavior.

Hyunjin managed to dodge the man’s attack, but before he knew it, the jagged shard of glass was pointed right at his throat. “Lookie here.” David’s evil laughter made your knees shake as you stood up off the ground.

“No!” You cried out and lunged for the man, knocking him into the wall.

As quick as it happened, Hyunjin pulled you back, pure anger evident in his features. “What are you thinking?” Hyunjin’s tone of voice hit you straight in the heart. You were trying to save him. You didn’t think it would make him mad. Oh God… You can’t do anything right.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, chest tightening as your mind started to race — various scenarios playing through your mind like a fucked up slideshow. “I’m so sorry.” A sickening sound made the two of you turn around — your choked scream echoing in the room as you saw the man’s body slump to the floor.

Hyunjin’s eyes remained fixed on the body. He couldn’t see or hear anything else going on around him. The scariest part? The man had a wide smile on his face, matching the one across his throat. Hyunjin could see the man’s face fall slack, right as his soul left his body. “God, Minho I’m so sorry.” Hyunjin pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes clenching shut in a sad attempt to keep his emotions in check. “I fucked this up, I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I wasn’t expecting her to —”

“No, it’s fine.” Minho slumped to the ground, resting his head in his hands. “He’s been unstable for a while.” Despite his emotionless words, Hyunjin could see the defeated look on Minho’s face.

“Did he actually work here?” Hyunjin asked. Sure, the man might have been crazy, but… what if he was right? If this institution wasn’t always a bad place, that means the person in charge is responsible for its downfall.

“No.” Minho sighed. “He’s been here for a long time — since before I started working here.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I looked it up. He’s not in the system.”

Hyunjin couldn’t shake the feeling that David wasn’t lying. “Do you think they erased his information? Maybe they put him under a fake name?”

“It’s possible.” Minho chuckled darkly. “This place is fucked up.” Minho’s head fell into his hands. “I know the head of security. I’ll ask him about it tomorrow.”

“Can you trust him?” Hyunjin was a bit worried. Blindly trusting other people in this institution could lead to their downfall.

“Oh I’m not going to tell him anything.” Minho sighed. “I know the program like the back of my hand. I can distract him and get in the system to see if there’s any record of David. Last time I checked the system, I only had a few minutes.”

“I just can’t believe he worked here.” Hyunjin pursed his lips, brows creasing as he tried to figure out the truth.

“Hyunjin.” Minho sighed. “David was mentally unstable. Yes, he did believe he worked here, but he also believed he was an elephant for a solid year.”

“You’re right. But, promise me something.” Hyunjin reached his hand out, helping the older boy off the floor.

Confusion spread across Minho’s face, but he agreed anyway. “Yeah, sure.”

Hyunjin lowered his voice, worried that someone might overhear their conversation. “Tell me when you spot something off. I have a feeling this is much bigger than it seems.”

“Deal.” Minho nodded, eyes widening when he spotted something off. “Hyunjin?”

“Yeah?”

“Your patient’s gone.”

“Fuck.”

-------------

Your uneven breaths echoed in the room as you stumbled to your bed. Finally — after so many months you had someone who treated you right — someone who actually cared about your mental well-being and you had to fuck it up. Not only that, you killed a man!

Maybe Hyunjin and Minho had it covered? Maybe you barging into the room was the thing that set the crazy man off? Maybe that’s why he ended up killing himself? God, you were such a horrible human being.

Broken sobs ripped through your throat as you sunk to the floor. If you were going to get through this, you had to try and think of happy things. What made you happy?

Well… Hyunjin.

Hyunjin made you happy.

Hyunjin was your only safe place — your solace in an unforgiving world full of pain and anxiety — and you fucked that up. You made him mad. You took the sweetest guy in the world, and you upset him. Hyunjin was probably going to leave you, and you’d be stuck with Dr. Henry again.

Your hands threaded in your hair. You wished you could crawl into a hole and disappear. Your only happiness was gone.

Why couldn’t you breathe?

Your mind was in such a haze, you didn’t notice someone walk into the room until you were being pulled into his arms. You couldn’t quite hear what he was saying, but you felt the small puffs of air coming from his nose, lips moving against your head as your arms wrapped around his neck. He was speaking in a kind, gentle tone, swaying you back and forth slowly. Your fingers clawed at his back, grabbing the soft material of his uniform as if the fabric would help you find your breath.

You felt horrible — like a drama queen making a big deal out of nothing. Nothing happened. You weren’t harmed, and yet… here you are, sobbing into this man’s neck, unable to breathe properly. Was it Minho? Minho always seemed to find you when you were having panic episodes.

Somehow, you managed to catch your breath enough to open your eyes, relief flooding your system as you spotted Hyunjin’s ebony tufts of hair. His words were clear now, “It’s okay. I know you were trying to help.” His hands ran along your back. “You’re doing great. I’m so proud of you. You can beat this. I know you can.”

Your hands tightened around his neck, pulling the boy impossibly closer. “I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing you need to apologize for,” Hyunjin whispered in your ear, voice sounding like velvet as he rocked you back and forth slowly. “You were trying to help.”

“I killed him.” You sobbed. “He was fine until I came in.”

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for his death.” Hyunjin pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “He was going to do it anyway. You did nothing wrong.” Hyunjin pulled you closer, heart dropping when he felt your body shake.

“There was so much blood.” You couldn’t get the memories seeing the man’s body, dead eyes staring into your soul as blood poured from the open wound on his neck.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.” Hyunjin ran his fingers through your hair, hoping to ease your nerves. “And I’m sorry for pushing you. I was worried he was going to hurt you.” Hyunjin relaxed as he felt you nuzzle further into his chest — a silent sign that you forgave him.

In all honesty, he felt so calm holding you close like this. Perhaps he was crossing a line — the fine line between a doctor and a patient, but he couldn’t just leave you like that. You needed someone by your side, and Hyunjin planned to be that person.

“Did I do the right thing?” You couldn’t help but wonder if you were the tipping point — if your words pushed him to finally do it.

“I don’t actually know.” Hyunjin sighed. “I don’t know if I made the right choices either.”

“I thought you knew everything.” You chuckled. Hyunjin sure gave Dr. Henry a verbal lashing when they were talking about electroconvulsive therapy. You figured the boy was a genius.

“Why is that?” Hyunjin laughed. The lighthearted giggles helped brighten your mood as you sat up, legs naturally straddling his hips to get more comfortable. This didn’t phase either of you. You two were comfortable being this close.

“When you were arguing with Dr. Henry, you seemed to know your shit.” Your face fell. “But I kind of lost the conversation when you guys started to yell.”

“Does yelling frighten you?” Hyunjin’s innocent eyes looked into yours, eagerly waiting for your response.

“Don’t change the subject.” You lightly smacked his shoulder.

“No, you don’t change the subject.” Hyunjin chuckled. “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay, but I’d rather you tell me that you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You couldn’t help but laugh when Hyunjin frowned. You pressed your thumb between his brows, making the boy beneath you smile. “I want to talk about your superbrain.”

“I don’t have a superbrain.” Hyunjin laughed. “But I do have an eidetic memory.”

“The fuck is that?” You’ve heard of a photographic memory, but not an eidetic memory. Does that boy literally remember everything?

“It means I can remember things by looking at them once.” He laughed at your reaction.

You stared at Hyunjin, mouth agape as you frowned. “College must have been so easy for you.” You wished you had an eidetic memory… Or any memory. Being in a fucked up institution while suffering from amnesia was really difficult. You couldn’t figure out how to heal from your trauma when you couldn’t even remember what your trauma was.

Hyunjin laughed. “Retaining information is a bit easier I guess, that’s why I like to try and learn whatever I can about the medications out there so I can help people.”

Your eyes met Hyunjin’s — and for a moment, you completely lost yourself in them. His chocolate brown orbs seemed to look into your soul, seeing you for who you really were instead of the crippling anxiety you suffered from. Your nose bumped against his and you realize just how close you actually were. You flushed bright red, sliding off Hyunjin’s lap as you mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Hyunjin smiled sweetly. “Does that help?”

“Huh?” Your heart panged in your chest as you lost yourself in his eyes once more.

“Sorry, I should have specified.” Hyunjin chuckled. “When you’re having anxiety attacks… Does skinship help pull you out of it?”

You couldn’t help but wonder… did you crave the comforting feeling of someone else’s touch, or was it his touch. After a couple of seconds, you realized… fuck… it was him. It wasn’t even about skinship — it was his gentle touches, his velvety voice, the feeling of his hands resting on your waist. You craved him and — oh no… He’s only been here one day and you’ve already started to crush on your caretaker.

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. “I guess so.”

Hyunjin smiled and pulled out a notepad from his bag and began writing notes. You couldn’t help but chuckle at how dense he was. You brushed some stray bangs out of his face, cheeks flushing even darker when he quietly thanked you and resumed taking notes.

“Can we talk?” You haven’t had an actual conversation with a human being in ages. Talking to Hyunjin sounded like fun. You were dying to learn more about him.

“Of course.” Hyunjin smiled. “You can tell me anything. It’ll stay between us.” Hyunjin clicked his pen a few times. “Plus, if we can get to the bottom of your anxiety, we might be able to work on teaching you how to repair your mindset when you start to panic”

“Hyunjin.” You stopped him. “Can we just… talk?” You paused. “I just want to talk like people. For once, I don’t want to feel like a mental case.”

“Oh…” Hyunjin trailed off. Shit, he didn’t even think of that. “Yeah, go for it.”

“I don’t know what to talk about.” You chuckled. “I’ve been here for the past few months.” Great! You felt like a complete idiot. Here you were, trying to talk to the man of your dreams, and you were making a fool of yourself.

“You don’t remember anything about the world outside this institution?” Hyunjin’s eyes widened. What if your memory loss directly correlates with this hospital? Could they be making you lose your memory?

“Hyunjin I-”

“No, I’m not trying to pry.” Hyunjin chuckled. “I’m trying to decipher what type of amnesia you have.” Hyunjin pursed his lips together before continuing. “See, you have retrograde amnesia. You’ve lost nearly all of your previously existing memories.” Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he came to a realization. “You’ve been through electroconvulsive therapy, which can also cause retrograde amnesia for a period of time. According to the number of sessions you’ve had in the chart, it matches perfectly.” Hyunjin smiled brightly. “Plus, you might have a form of dissociative amnesia from any past traumas. But if we stop your electroconvulsive therapy sessions completely, you might get your memory back!” Hyunjin paused, cheeks flushing bright red when he looked into your eyes. “Oh, I’m rambling again. I’m sorry.”

Your eyes glassed over as you thought about everything Hyunjin said. “They’re making me lose my memories? That’s not possible.” You sighed. “Dr. Douglas said they’d help.”

Hyunjin’s heart dropped when he saw your expression. You looked tired, overwhelmed, and afraid. “Why don’t we talk about something else? What do you want to know about?”

“What were you like in college?” You figured college was the type of environment Hyunjin would thrive in.

“Well, when I was going to college, I used to go to the college library for fun.” Hyunjin chuckled.

“Did you go with your friends?” You longed to have that college life, going to parties, hanging out with friends, studying art at a good school — you missed out on all that… but you don’t remember why…

“Oh.” Hyunjin’s face dropped slightly, fingers playing with the pen in his hands. “I didn’t have any friends. No one cared about books and studying.”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t have tons of girls flocking to you?” You were shocked. The boy was perfect. Hyunjin’s smart, beautiful, kind, he has it all.

“Oh, I did.” Hyunjin frowned. “I never understood why though.”

“Hyunjin you’re like… the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.” The words slipped out before you could stop them.

Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed bright red. “Huh?”

“Oh, sorry.” You mumbled.

“No.” Hyunjin smiled brightly, eyes crinkling in happiness as he looked at you. “Thank you.” He chuckled. “Most people get turned off by my personality.” Over the years, Hyunjin couldn’t really keep a good group of friends by his side. After trying for so long, he finally gave up. Why be worried about making friends when you could be helping people?

“What? Are you a closet asshole?” You laughed, lightly pushing on his shoulder.

“No.” Hyunjin fiddled with the end of his notebook, turning the hundreds of pages packed full of notes in front of your eyes. “I do lots of research so I can make things better for people like you.” Hyunjin looked down at the various dog-eared pages. “This is what I do — I’ve spent my whole life working to become a doctor. It’s all I know how to do.” He smiled. “So most people don’t stick around long.”

“I won’t leave you.” You rested your hand on his arm in a sad attempt to comfort the boy.

“No, you will.” Hyunjin smiled. “I’m going to get you out of here.”

“What are you two doing?”

121 notes · View notes

exyjunkies · 6 years

Note

pls continue the did andreil fic :)

that smiley tho… are y’all mad at me lmao anyway SINCE I’M FEELING IT TODAY!!! here’s part four. a long-ish entry yay

a/n: i’m not going to continue this on the blog anytime soon, but hopefully i’ll do a complete rewrite (with the parts already up on tumblr worked into it) and upload a beast of a fic on my ao3 hehe just tell me if you guys would like that!

i’m also about to hit 1.3k followers on this blog so thank you thank you thank you all so much for sticking around, i love you guys!

part one | part two | part three

Neil hated coming back to himself.

Or that’s what Andrew seemed to see, judging from his view outside the hospital room. That’s all he saw, anyway, before the doctors had to block his way and send him away.

Ever since Natha/Neil got to the hospital, the doctors have had a hard enough time keeping Andrew out of the room whenever there was an episode, and Andrew has had a hard enough time trying to explain himself along with the fact that he was their best shot at keeping Natha/Neil down. Well, as well-behaved as he could manage himself to be.

Instead, Andrew made himself comfortable a floor below, beside the vending machine. He’s mastered the art of ignoring the innocents that went up to the machine and purchased consumables enough for their visit. Undoubtedly, they’ve all heard of Neil’s case - famous Exy player plus identity crisis plus teammate with anger issues for a boyfriend? Who wouldn’t be intrigued?

Long gone were the days that a bunch of homophobic assholes was Andrew’s biggest problem. He now had to deal with the judgement that came from hospital regulars, families who knew of the Foxes and didn’t equate them to sickly or dying or damaged.

For all they knew, Andrew supposed he couldn’t expect some shitheads to ever understand, so he just kept it in. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was having an easier time to deal with the situation.

A book landed with a thud on a seat two seats away from Andrew. A Place of Greater Safety, the hardcover book shouted at Andrew. Kevin sat down on Andrew’s left, setting his coffee on top of his book and handing Andrew his.

“Did they say anything?” Andrew grumbled, not looking up from his Rubiks cube. He twisted the sides around, the algorithm making the insides of his head whir. The 3x3 toy was one of the few things that helped keep him at bay. His eidetic memory was both a blessing and a curse - he remembered the day Neil got it for him, as if it were just yesterday.

Here, Andrew, catch. The plastic cube had just barely reached Andrew’s hands. Neil had stifled a laugh at Andrew’s blinks.

What is this, Josten? He replied, sitting up and turning it around. It’s not as if he hasn’t seen the damned contraption before - just that it never occurred to him that it would be this complicated. The unmatched sides and edges seemed to be mocking him. The cube had been shuffled. The bright colors made Andrew’s head pound. A lot, Andrew had noted, like Neil did.

Something a lot less complicated than the both of us are. Thought you’d like it.

This is lame, Andrew had answered back, annoyance apparent in his tone.

A few hours later, he was busy frowning at Neil’s smirk — the cube solved and on the bed. Mentally, he had registered 764% as he left the room and slammed the door shut.

“Doctors are keeping their mouth shut,” Kevin replied, sipping from his coffee cup and making a grimace. “Something about security purposes. Damn. Just because Neil’s a Fox—”

Andrew moved the top layer on his cube with his pinky. “Wasting my time is not enjoyable, Day.”

Wrinkling his nose, Kevin reached for his coffee and book. “I’m not happy either, don’t worry.” He grabbed his book and replaced it with his coffee, leaning forward as he began to read.

The second layer on Andrew’s cube was close to being solved. Up. Right. Up again. Back down. Middle layer back right.

Briefly, he registered the television above them, a weather program on the screen.

“We’re seeing some rainy skies today, folks,” the weatherman said. Behind him was a chart explaining the temperatures for today and the next few days. A map of America was shaded in different colors.

A man in a white doctors’ coat appeared around their corner and seemed to be looking for someone.

“Is an Andrew Minyard here?” The doctor inquired, clipboard in hand and a stethoscope around his neck.

Andrew looked up and put two fingers up, and beside him, Kevin put down his book.

“We’re sorry we kept you waiting,” the doctor continued, a concerned look on his face. “I know we called you over here because Mr. Josten was in pain, and Mr. Minyard’s name was mentioned one too many times, but when a patient is in his critical stages, we don’t want anyone suffering the consequences. Hence, we do our best to control the situation as best as we could before moving forward.

“Now, as you’re both probably aware,” at this, the doctor looked at a paper on his clipboard, “Mr. Josten has dissociative identity disorder, so he might not remember calling out for you, or, quite possibly, who you are at all. I just wanted to give you both a heads up before coming in. Do you have any other concerns?”

Andrew merely stared back at the doctor. He put his Rubiks cube in Kevin’s messenger bag. Kevin put a hand on his arm and replied, “No. We’re alright.”

“I see. This way, please.”

They both stood up, and made their way to Neil’s room.

“Do you, um,” Kevin started, then paused to reconsider his words. They passed by an old woman in a wheelchair, being wheeled by a nurse. “Would you know who he is today?”

The doctor held his clipboard to his chest. They ascended the stairs of the hospital, the cool air conditioning evident on the railings.

“As Mr. Minyard was mentioned, I’d like to guess he’s Neil today,” the doctor replied. They went up to Natha/Neil’s hospital room, and Andrew stilled, his entire body rigid.

“If you guys have any questions or problems, just page. There are buttons by his bed.” And just like that, the doctor was gone.

The both of them stayed outside for long enough that Andrew started to wonder if they were ever going to muster the courage to go in. If it was ever going to be worth seeing Neil again. His last encounter with Nathaniel still burned in the back of his mind.

A light tap on his shoulder shook him out of it. “I’m going in,” Kevin murmured. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

And then with the open and close of the door, Andrew was alone.

Peering at Kevin through the window, Andrew checked if there were any unusual reactions, if the person on the hospital bed would recognize Kevin. If the person on the hospital bed would even matter.

He remembered how things were back when he wanted nothing. He had made that so evident in everything that he did, in all that he said, in all his attitudes.

Inside the room, Andrew saw Kevin’s arm grip the side of the bed, and a hand on his arm. Kevin was shaking, his head bowed down.

Was he crying? Andrew didn’t know what to make of that. Kevin Day, in all the years they’ve known each other, had never once cried. Or at least, he never showed it.

Something still tugged at Andrew’s heart. As hard as he tried to not feel anything, to not get angry at the world because it was directionless, useless, and it would not change anything, he really can’t help it. Exhaling, he put his hand on the door handle, and opened the door.

The beeping machine was the first thing he heard. The second was the unmistakable yelling of a crowd on the overhead television. Andrew walked in, and looked up.

It was an Exy game. The Bluebadge Bears v.s.the Eastside Warriors.

“The Warriors have always been one of those teams with potential,” Neil was saying to Kevin, a sparkle in his eyes that Andrew hadn’t seen for so long. Fuck. He hadn’t seen those eyes in particular in so goddamn long.

Neil stopped speaking when he saw Andrew, and sat up a little straighter instead. Andrew felt so much tension around his body. He was unsure if that was a good thing or not.

Between the both of them, Kevin quickly brought a hand up to his eyes, and said hurriedly, “I’ll go get some sandwiches from the cafeteria.”

Then, to Neil, he said, “I’m glad you’re still an Exy addict. Wouldn’t know what to do if you weren’t.”

Neil smiled, and waved as Kevin exited the room.

As the door closed, Andrew went up to Neil, and gripped the edge of the bed with one of his hands.

“I didn’t think you’d visit,” Neil muttered, gripping Andrew’s arm through his hoodie. Andrew hated that he still had the capacity to mind Andrew’s personal space, even though he was fucking hospitalized.

“I didn’t think Day would cry, but I guess we’re wrong on both counts,” Andrew replied, putting his other hand up to Neil’s cheek, to his jaw.

He felt Neil’s laughter through the side of his throat. “Heh. Yeah. What a drama queen.”

And the both of them stayed there, just like that, staring into each other’s eyes.

Neil had gotten a little thinner, a little paler, but he was still the same annoying man Andrew had gotten to know. Andrew’s eyes followed all the wires attached to Neil, trailed across the restraint marks on his arms.

When Neil saw where Andrew had been looking, he put a hand to his opposite arm. “I woke up from some nightmare, some… some thing that my stupid mind cooked up. I don’t remember much of it. Apparently I went wild and needed to be sedated. It’s been one or two days since that episode, though.”

Andrew knew the episode only happened six or seven hours ago. “It’s over now.”

Neil nodded. “Yeah. Kiss me?”

Leaning forward, Andrew kept staring into Neil’s eyes. He briefly heard the drone of the Exy game above them, the beeping of the machines, the flat sound of the room’s air-conditioning.

“Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

And then Andrew kissed him, starting out light, mostly out of consideration for the fact that Neil was hospitalized. A simple peck, to satisfy Neil’s primary request. Later on, if he was asked to explain, he would say it only deepened because Neil pulled him in, held him still with a hand on the back of his neck, and opened his mouth enough to draw more of Andrew in.

And then in the heat of the moment, Andrew was suddenly straddling Neil, who sat up straighter to meet Andrew’s eyes.

“You know, Kevin’s not going to be back for an hour or two, at most,” Neil said, waggling his eyebrows and sensually running his hands up and down Andrew’s arms.

Andrew practically growled. “Junkie. This was supposed to be a quick hospital visit.”

“So what. We have time.” Neil rubbed his crotch up against Andrew, who groaned because damn, these hospital gowns aren’t subtle. Neil was already half-hard at this point, and with enough time, they would both be fully hard.

“Mmm. Fine. But only you.”

And then they were kissing again, with Neil’s hands on Andrew’s thighs and Andrew’s hands holding Neil’s face up. Andrew was thrusting, his thigh going up and down Neil’s erection. Pre-come already stained his hospital gown. He lowered Neil back towards the bed and went down his neck, biting and licking at the spot where he knew Neil liked it most.

“Ugh. Andrew, don’t stop,” Neil gasped into his ear, and Andrew bit his neck, eliciting a loud moan.

Neil hadn’t been under him like this for such a long time that Andrew’s mind almost short-circuited. He pulled up Neil’s hospital gown and took him in his hand, making Neil’s breath hitch.

Stroking Neil slowly, Andrew growled into his ear, “I missed this. You.”

Neil groaned and met his every stroke with an upwards thrust. It was slow, and hard, and evident that they both wanted this to last.

”Andrew, you do not know how much,” Neil got out, in between heavy breaths, “How much. God. I have thought of you. Of you— ugfh. Doing this to me.”

Andrew was going to have to jack off later after hearing that. ”Mmm. Neil—”

”Fuck, yes.”

As Andrew quickened the pace a bit, Neil leaned up to suck on Andrew’s neck. Andrew grunted - this was even better than he remembered.

”Where— fuuuck. Where can I touch you?”

It felt really good, good enough that Andrew didn’t have time to think. He looked down at Neil’s dick in his hand, hard and slick.

”Ugh— anywhere. For now.” Neil responded by reaching down and palming Andrew through his crotch, which made Andrew grit his teeth. The pleasure was so overwhelming.

They spent the next half hour like that: Andrew jacking Neil off, and Neil with his mouth on Andrew’s neck and his hand down Andrew’s jeans. It was full of panting and groaning and the bed was creaking, but there seemed to be no concern coming from either of them if they would break it. He heard the loud slip and slide of his hand against Neil’s dick.

Andrew ran his thumb across Neil’s slit, and Neil groaned into Andrew’s neck. “Yes, fuckfuckfuck.” He thrust up faster, and Andrew, breathing hard, matched his pace.

”I’m close, fuck, yes, yes, yes—“

”Come on, Neil. Come on.”

”Andrew.” It almost sounded like a prayer.

With a deep moan, Neil came, his mouth open, his cum spilling all over his gown and Andrew’s clothes. Andrew kept going until he was done. Then, with a swift motion, he sat back, pulled down his fly, and grabbed his dick. He was close to coming himself.

”Hey,” Neil panted, holding onto Andrew’s wrist. “Let me?”

Andrew nodded. “Yes.”

Then Neil’s hand wrapped around his dick, and Neil was kissing him, and stroking him, and there was so much of Neil everywhere. It felt so good. It only took a few more minutes before Andrew was coming, his groan stifled by Neil’s neck.

After a few minutes of just coming down from the orgasm, Andrew pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the both of them down. He checked if Kevin was outside, and was relieved to see that no one was outside the door. The game on the television was done, and a commercial was playing. Neil was looking at him, both his hands back on the bed.

“Andrew,” Neil whispered, and Andrew looked at him. Neil’s eyes were full of that– that thing, and Andrew hated it so much.

He hated Neil so much.

“I hate you,” Andrew replied, and leaned forward to kiss Neil again. The kiss was slow, deep, and filthy. Neil wrapped an arm around his waist, and pulled Andrew closer to his body. Andrew took note of the way Neil kissed him, with such passion and meaning.

It was a moment he never wanted to end.

#andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg fic #aftg #anonymous #answered #i have so many things to do but this has been in my drafts for too damn long #anyway i hope my southeast asia followers all stay safe! as a filipino i empathize #stay inside and keep safe okaaay #myfic #DID au

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fourteenghostinfo · 7 years

Text

Info/Memories

I am always nonbinary and asexual/biromantic unless otherwise stated. I’ll list specific memories (if I have them) under each kin. Also special info if necessary.

Shigeo Kageyama ~

Lots of memories but I’ll list some important ones. I had a crush on Teruki, who was also nonbinary. After my experience with Mogami I became heavily uncomfortable calling Reigen “Master,” which he didn’t question and let me stop calling him that. I cussed to myself a lot, but not around others for fear of offending them. I thought of Shou like a second brother. My parents weren’t very nice or accepting of me. ???% wasn’t another being living inside me, but a deeper instinctual part of myself. I knew this because I was still partly conscious while in that state.

Link ~

Most of my memories are from Breath of the Wild. While I was asleep I regained memories from past lives, making the memories from my current life even more confusing. I deeply loved Zelda, very very much. She was the only one I felt comfortable talking to (or crying around). I liked humming around her too. I ended up collecting every Silent Princess flower I found on my travels and showing them all to her when we were reunited. She was happy but started laughing because they were an endangered species and I wasn’t supposed to be picking them.

Mikaela Hyakuya ~

The first time I saw my red eyes I started crying. Once I started living with the humans again I had constant anxiety, thinking someone would try to attack me at any moment.

Ciel Phantomhive ~

Don’t you dare talk to me about sebaciel I will kill you right then and there. In fact I despise the author of Black Butler and at least 80% of the fans. How unfortunate. I had dependent personality disorder and attached myself to Sebastian because he was my only parental figure left. Things are fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure he was killed and once he was gone from my life I finally started to recover from my trauma.

Pearl ~

I was sorta messy and all over the place. Punk but hyper feminine too. I was extremely close with Steven and we liked to fuse into Rainbow Quartz often. The large fight with Garnet never happened, but I did find myself often disassociating from the others in the group. I liked going out and exploring different human-inhabited areas. During the war I shape shifted into Rose while Pink Diamond was shattered, making people believe Rose was the one to do it. If I did it they would let me go, and I could escape to Earth.

Chat Noir (Adrien Agreste) ~

Depression and other unchecked mental illnesses™. My dad was always cold to me, even before my mother’s death.

Lithuania ~

(Lmao I haven’t watched Hetalia in years) I was very feminine. I became good friends with England, and I also ended up befriending Prussia. But there were lots of other countries I was not friendly with, including Russia.

Shinji Ikari ~

Wow I miss Kaworu yikes. Very few memories honestly. We all returned to life and we were able to continue school, but I’m not sure if that happiness lasted forever.

Kaneki Ken ~

Honestly most of my memories are from my time as Sasaki. I’m not sure, but I may have stayed that way for years of my life. A long time.

Lars Barriga ~

I was a trans boy, which added a lot to my insecurity over my identity. I was bullied as a kid and my parents seemed unable to help. I spent years acting tough and masculine but I was scared and confused. I may have been aromantic. Sadie was my best friend and eventually the only one I felt comfortable opening up to. It took me forever to admit it but I was very happy Steven actually considered me a friend. I tried to refrain from being overly mean and instead pretended to be a chill person who was never awkward, but that often failed. After my death and rebirth and living with gems I became much more feminine and let that part of myself open up, instead of pushing it down, thinking it made me less of a man.

Eri ~

I was actually much older than I ever looked, due to stunted growth. I was around 15 when Midoriya first found me. I ended up living on the UA campus so that powerful superheroes could guard me and I would have access to kids my age to interact with while learning how to use my own quirk.

Steven Universe ~

Bit of a repeat from earlier, but Pearl and I were very close and we loved to form Rainbow Quartz often. Around the time I turned 14 I started wearing lots of girly clothes and flowing fabrics, and I liked putting colorful pins in my hair.

Trainer Moon ~

I had blonde hair and blue eyes, and my starter was Popplio. I was very gay for Lillie. We met up again several years after she moved away, and there was lots of happy crying. I became really close with Gladion, and he liked to confide in me and hang around me when he didn’t have much else to do.

Star Butterfly ~

Marco was a trans girl and boy was I gay for her. As a Mewman, I had sharp shark-like teeth. I had fantasies of being a rock star. I wore lots of spikes and eyeliner to try to make myself look as “punk” as possible but I could never let go of my bright colorful fashion taste.

Max Puckett ~

Gay for Isaac but too stubborn to admit it. I hated drama and really came off as rude and unsympathetic whenever I tried to avoid it.

Party Poison ~

I was gay for Show Pony (wow am I sensing a pattern here?) I sung a lot of music and always wished I had some way to record it. I had vague memories of the California coast. I never knew if they were actual childhood memories or if I’d been told stories about it and it was an image created by my mind, but I always dreamed of seeing the ocean with my own eyes. After I lost the battle, I was taken back to the city and reeducated and sedated. It must’ve been years later, it was all a blur, but I eventually managed to slip out and wandered the desert for a long time.

Danny Fenton ~

I was really more dead than alive. Phantom Planet did not happen. (Also lmao Butch Hartman can take his stupid ideas and suck on my gay nonbinary feminine ghost ectoplasm)

Mettaton ~

I became a total heartthrob on the surface and it was honestly incredible. I never strayed too far from where Napstablook was though. They really were like a little sibling to me.

Tails ~

Honestly not very many memories but I think my canon was sorta like the Sonic X anime. Also I loved him he was like a brother but Sonic was a total doofus lmao. Also we were the same age.

Vriska Serket ~

Killed off my lusus the second I knew I was capable of taking care of myself. That way I wouldn’t have to kill anymore. Tavros was an asshole to me, constantly. In fact, most of my friends were when we were younger. I stayed on the meteor with Terezi. Eventually, I navigated my way to the new universe. It took years, however.

Izuku Midoriya ~

Here we are in the barely any memories section. I do know I got into fights a lot as a kid to prove I wasn’t weak, and I ended up winning most of the time. Bakugou wasn’t that mean to me, just dismissive, which hurt because we really were friends as kids.

Luke Skywalker ~

Specific memories? Where? I was pretty gay you can be sure of that.

Tooru Mutsuki ~

Trans boy, I was gay for Sasaki. Things were a lot less….. tragic overall in my canon than in the source material.

Rhys ~

After Jack possessed me I lost my trust in him and tried to betray him. After it was all over, I was too scared of him coming back to replace the tech in my head. I just kept my eye covered. And I definitely wasn’t nearly talented enough to replace my arm by myself. That had to wait for a long while until I found the rest of the survivors again.

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