#something something Shepard being in charge except when he's not

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, the suicide mission:

-I haven’t romanced anyone in ME2, so instead I stared longingly at Kaidan’s photo.

I like to think Shepard wrote him an email that would autosend if she didn’t make it back, but alas that did not make it in.

-Heavy ammo is not required for the Occulus, and I wish Miranda would stop insisting it is. I’ve never used heavy ammo on it and I’m not about to start now.

-I know Jacob is heavily criticized for volunteering to unlock the doors, but it doesn’t bother me.

It feels more like he’s leading by example – he wants to project confidence so others feel confident as well.

(I was not expecting so much of this replay to be me being a Jacob apologist.)

-When selecting who will go through the shaft, Tali is the first option listed. It’s like the game is giving you a strong hint.

-But then when you get to picking the leader for the second fire time, the valid options are listed at the bottom. Garrus, Miranda, Jacob. You can’t make it through the mission by repeatedly clicking x.

-The send off speech comes off a bit odd if you got all the ship upgrades.

Shepard: We’ve lost good people.

No, we haven’t. And the reason we left ASAP was to avoid losing anyone.

-Opening the valves was absolute hell. ME2 Shepard can’t run, keeps getting stuck in cover, and got stuck in the floor(?) a few times so I couldn’t move at all.

-I know it’s sacrilege, but the Collector Base is not that interesting for me. It’s a rehash of the Collector ship except this time you’re choosing various specialists. I wish Bioware had done something to differentiate it more.

-How does Chackwas know what happened to the colonists taken by the Collectors?

I know they were conscious in the pods, but how well could they see what was going on around them?

Kudos to Chackwas I suppose for keeping that cool of a head on her while she waited to be melted.

-I rescued the entire crew, but there are not nearly enough crew members shown in shots where everyone is speaking.

-For the biotic specialist selection, Samara and Jack are on top.

-For the second diversion team, the valid leaders are on the bottom again.

-At the start of the long walk, there’s a random corpse on the ground.

Wasteful of the Collectors, considering they need millions more humans to finish the human reaper.

-The biotic field is awful for vanguards. Since I need to stay in the field I can’t charge from enemy to enemy like I normally do.

Thank goodness for assault rifle training.

-Is this mission always so buggy? Now I’ve lost the ability to target husks for charges.

-Aaand now that I’m on the moving platforms I can’t charge targets on platforms that have docked but are higher/lower.

This is getting ridiculous. I charged up/down repeatedly while closing the valves.

-And now Shepard can’t turn left/right??? What is going on?

-So it takes an absurd amount of species to create a single Reaper.

Are harvests ever prolonged so the species can continue procreating so there are enough of them to finish a Reaper?

At least that would explain why the Reapers don’t just throw asteroids into heavily populated planets to make the harvests easier. Can’t waste too many organics before the new Reaper has been created.

-Why does Edi assume that the Reapers turned the Protheans into Collectors because the Protheans could not be used to create a Reaper?

There’s no reason the Reapers couldn’t do both. First use the Protheans to create a new Reaper, then use the remaining surplus to create the Collectors.

-Somehow I missed both shots at the human Reaper with the Cain, so I’ll be doing this the hard way.

-Shepard to TIM: Some of them gave their lives for this mission.

No, they did not.

How hard would it have been for Bioware to tweak the script to account for no one dying?

-Shepard accuses TIM of wanting to grow their own Reaper next.

That would actually have been an interesting twist for ME3. TIM thinks he’s growing a Reaper that will serve him; that Reaper fully intends to join the rest.

You face him as the end game boss. If your reputation is high enough, you can talk him into suicide. If not, he willingly steps into a pod and melts into it. Then you have to face the full grown Reaper he grew. Somehow that leads to the endings.

It’d mirror the end of ME1.

(Look, TIM growing a Reaper is less absurd than TIM somehow managing to override the indoctrination of Reaper troops, okay?)

-I thought one companion always argues to keep the base and one to destroy it, but Kasumi never argued to keep the base. Maybe that’s because Miranda was telling TIM to fuck off?

-Why is it Joker that comes out to defend the ship?

I know that practically speaking it’s because Joker is the only Bioware can be certain will be alive and not with Shepard, but realistically he’s one of the worst choices. We still need him to get us out of here and he can’t do that with broken arms from recoil.

Would it have been that hard to model one of the others?

-And TIM’s real motivations come out. He wanted to use the base’s technology to establish human (Cerberus) dominance. Saving the colonists was just a nice bonus.

-Shepard specifically says that Harbringer is coming.

ME2 spends the entire game building a personal enmity between Shepard and Harbringer, so of course ME3 throws that out and does nothing with it. I’ve lost track of how many hooks ME2 provided that ME3 discarded.

-If you go paragon, you can tell Joker to lose TIM’s channel.

Is this supposed to be a callback to Shepard hanging up on the Council throughout ME1?

Normandy:

-Kelly tells me I have a new message, but I do not.

-Kelly is also deeply traumatized and in denial.

Kelly: Back to the old Kelly

Girl, you’re supposed to be a psychologist. You should know that’s not happening. Start researching PTSD coping mechanisms and schedule sessions with the crew.

-It’s rather amusing that Jacob notes that Cerberus is your enemy now while he’s still displaying the Cerberus logo on his armor.

Jacob, just take a sharpie and scribble it out. No need to throw away a perfectly good set of armor.

-The cargo bay has been miraculously repaired already.

-Everyone comments on the base’s destruction, except Jack who still has nothing to say to me.

Her turn around in ME3 is very impressive. I wonder how many players were turned off by her in ME2 and only started to like her then?

-Well, neither Zaed nor Kasumi comment either but that’s more to do with them being DLC characters and not following the same dialogue patterns as the others.

-Zaed is quite complimentary of Joker. He says he performed very well.

I assume this line is supposed to play after the crew is kidnapped.

-Miranda still sounds like she’s convincing herself that destroying the base was the right choice even though TIM wanted it intact.

I think she’s in shock from realizing the full implications of quitting Cerberus. She’s spent her entire life with them; now she can’t go back and will need to rebuild her life from scratch.

And she knows how dangerous Cerberus is. They’ll come after her.

So even though it was the right choice, it’s understandable she needs some time to process. She changed her entire life’s trajectory in a snap moment decision.

-Legion says that platforms normally host a max of 100 programs. He consists of over one thousand.

Why aren’t there more platforms like Legion?

He says that mobile platforms always operate in networks, but there’s no reason that network can’t be within one platform. He’s a network.

The geth must see the value in one platform being able to travel freely on its own and not losing intelligence if other platforms are destroyed. There are millions if not billions of geth; they’re not held back by numbers.

So why not more independent platforms?

I feel like there’s potentially more here about geth psychology. They’re reluctant to be alone, even in platforms. They don’t need multiple platforms. They want multiple platforms. Even if platforms aren’t really geth – geth are the programs inside them – they prefer being together to being alone.

-An individual geth is about a VI. It’s only when there are multiple programs that they form a gestalt intelligence.

-Edi says that Legion contacted a minds the size of a galactic arm.

I wish ME3 had done more with this. The potential intelligence of the geth on that scale is fascinating. It could have been a huge asset to the war effort – not as bodies on the field, but in directing the war effort or R&D.

So of course ME3 ignored it completely.

-Legion asks Edi how she manages being alone.

I think the geth fundamentally struggle with understanding organics as individuals the same way I struggle with understanding how numerous programs form a single intelligence. They understand the concept, but not how it actually works.

That’s probably one of their biggest hurdles in understanding organic behavior and motivations. They just don’t get what individuality.

-In the log Legion shares, the platform refers to itself as a unit. The quarian refers to it by number.

That’s a high level of depersonalization. Humans will quickly name anything they interact with regularly and begin anthropomorphizing it.

If humans interacted with geth, they’d give then a name ASAP and begin attributing personality traits to them – hell, that’s exactly what Shepard did!

(That should have been a clue. If the quarians had referred to platforms by name, Legion would have understood what Shepard was doing when he asked him for his name.)

Obviously quarians are another species, but they love machines. They include their ships in their names! So I think the unit being referred to as number was a deliberate effort by the quarian to not grow attached to the geth and not see them as more than things.

But why?

Legion says this was not the first time that a unit had asked a quarian if they had a soul, but the first time a quarian was afraid of the question. Were the quarians already starting to recognize that the geth were sapient and desperately in denial? Was there a push to treat the geth as mere machines in hopes that would prevent them from becoming more? They knew they were brushing the line of AI, even if they were careful to never intentionally cross it.

Also, in Legion’s loyalty mission he’s adamant against the geth being anthromorphized. I’m curious how this ties into the quarians refusing to treat the geth such. After all, the unit wanted to know if it had a soul like the quarians revered so highly – what is that, if not wanting the quarians to see the geth as like them?

(The geth don’t want Shepard to anthropomorphize them. They want the quarians to do so.)

Post Suicide Mission

And that is Mass Effect 2 done!

Except, not quite. I still have to do the Firewalker DLC to unlock the rest of Legion’s conversations, and then finish up with Arrival.

So while I really want to move on to ME3, there’s a bit more to go.

At least I have my Insanity II trophy. It was hard at the start, but got much easier as the game went along… At least, when Charge worked. Here’s to hoping it’s more reliable in ME3.

#mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 2 replay

[marythegizka]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Was tagged by @illusivesoul

Thank you! 😊

Tagging (if you feel like it, of course): @mxanigel, @lady-carys, @wolfmilk-and-polenta

Answers under the cut! (Quite a bit of rambling there, I'm afraid...)

I have been a fan since:

Favourite game of the series?:

MShep or FShep?:

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?:

Biotics or Tech:

Paragon or Renegade:

Favourite Class:

Favourite Companion:

Least favourite Companion:

My squad selection:

Favourite In-game romance:

Other pairings I like:

Favourite NPC:

Favourite Antagonist:

Favourite Mission:

Favourite Loyalty Mission:

Favourite DLC:

Control, Synthesis or Destroy:

Favourite Weapon:

Favourite Place:

A quote I like:

I have been a fan since: 2021. I had been meaning to try the first game since 2017. I played for one evening, then life happened and I forgot about it. Fast forward to the 2021, when having less work and no longer having a commute made me go 'well, why not use this time to mitigate my existential dread and deaden my emotions with... oh. Okay. Nevermind that'. And then I sank... I don't know, a little under 200 hours into it? Yeah.

Favourite game of the series?: ME2. I think I like the stakes and storytelling of ME3 better (also, I think it was the first game to ever make me cry? Several times?), but ME2 is very character-focused and I just live for that.

MShep or FShep?: Well, I usually play as female characters (the one recent exception I can think of being a M!Cousland because that was the only way marry Anora. I have no regrets.) so I'm not really in a position to compare.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?: Earthborn on my Paragon playthrough, colonist on the Renegon one. (I also started a spacer one but did not finish it).

Biotics or Tech: Both, but for different reasons. I like the visuals of biotics (yes, I really am that shallow), and having an enemy NPC floating helplessly in the air while you take aim is really, really convenient. That said, the 'overload' ability is extremely helpful, and I really like Tali's little drone, so tech is pretty cool too. I just usually make sure I have both in the squad (except for specific missions like the moon base in ME1).

Paragon or Renegade: Hmm, so... I'm going to say Renegon, because Renegade is very entertaining at times, and absolutely awful at other times (particularly in ME3). But my first Shepard was a bleeding heart Paragon. She was just so nice.

Favourite Class: Anything that lets me experience the story without dying too many times (and I play on casual so that's really all of them). That said, I find myself rather partial to the Vanguard's charge ability. It's not necessarily the *most* useful, but it's just too satisfying not to use.

Favourite Companion: Hmm. Well, I love EDI's dry humour and the fact that she becomes more human over time, so I'll just go with EDI...But honestly, it is a tough choice, especially when old grump Javik is right there, and Tali melts my heart, and Liara's arc is so good, and Wrex is too funny but also pretty tragic, and... see what I mean?

Least favourite Companion: Jacob. The thing with Jacob is, I don't even dislike him, I just think his writing is... how do I put it? Not bad, per se, but it doesn't quite pull me me in. He's pretty much the only companion who remained 'a coworker' on all my playthroughs. Other were either 'best pals' (Tali, Garrus, Wrex), great romances (Liara, Garrus, Thane), or downright antagonistic at times but in a way that felt natural and brought something to the story (Miranda and Jack come to mind).

My squad selection: I don't have a fixed one.

Favourite In-game romance: Garrus

Other pairings I like: Miranda/Jack, Javik/Liara, Tali/Garrus, Nyreen/Aria

Favourite NPC: Matriarch Aethyta

Favourite Antagonist: Saren

Favourite Mission: Virmire

Favourite Loyalty Mission: Tali/'Treason'

Favourite DLC: I haven't played them all (I haven't bought the Legendary Edition so they were separate purchases. This means I have never recruited Kasumi or played Lair of the Shadow Broker, any knowledge I have of them comes from the fandom + a couple of videos), but I really enjoyed the Omega DLC.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy: Oh man... I mean... I feel like Control comes with fewer moral downsides in the short term? Organics remain organics, so no consent issues there, and the Geth and EDI get to survive... the only real downside is that Shepard is gone. But in the long term? Who's to say they're not the new big bad? It's the one I went with on my 'Renegade' playthrough and her monologue was pretty chilling. Also, there's a degree of sadness in her being 'still there but gone'. What does the grieving process look like for Liara (or whoever else was romanced)? For Shepard themself? Isn't it lonely up there? I don't know, there are just so many questions. That said I went with 'Destroy' (and high EMS) on my first run because I looked up a wiki as I played and I wanted Shepard to survive. Let her and Garrus adopt baby Krogans.

Favourite Weapon: Ermm. I'm not good with names (or details in general for that matter 😂) but that big Prothean rifle you find in ME2? Yeah. That one.

Favourite Place: Ilium. Again, I am shallow. Though I initially mistyped that as Ilos (again, I am bad with names) and you know what? I love Ilos too, but more for the feels than its aesthetic. Also Liara's reactions. And the music when you get to Vigil.

A quote I like: "You did good, child. You did good. I'm proud of you." Man, the delivery got me right in the feels.

#tag game #mass effect

[jtownnn]

@spookyvalentine made a great "50 questions about Commander Shepard" list and I promised I would fill it out when I got home from vacation, and then my flight got delayed and I got stuck in the airport soooooo meet ✨ Celine Shepard ✨

1. Why did Shepard enlist? Any regrets?

Celine doesn’t really have a choice - once they realize she’s a biotic they throw her into training right away. but she probably would have done it anyway - after Mindoir she’s looking for anything that can make her feel safe. she doesn’t end up regretting it, not really, but she does sometimes daydream about the life she could have had instead of becoming The Commander Shepard.

2. How does your Shepard feel about having a yeoman assigned to them in 2? And in 3?

she doesn’t really think about it? to her it’s just someone else on the crew. on a personal level, she’s always pretty leery of Kelly, and while she never does end up fully trusting her she would consider her a friendly acquaintance. Celine and Traynor are a totally different story - they hit it off right away, and Traynor ends up becoming once of her closest friends.

3. What’s their relationship with Anderson?

he’s her mentor! post-Mindoir she really looks at him with pure hero worship, but the longer she’s enlisted the more she starts to see him as a ~real person~ and after Akuze she starts coming to him for career advice. she really tries to model her time in the Alliance on what would make Anderson proud.

4. Is your Shepard any good at poker?

she’s *awful* and people love to tease her about it. but she genuinely loves to spend time with her friends and so she almost never turns down a game.

5. How well does Shepard know their crew? Not just the companions, but the folks making up the Normandy?

in ME1 & ME3 - really, really well. she goes out of her way to talk to everyone and makes sure she knows everyone’s name. she believes that doing so makes her a better leader.

in ME2 - not well at all. she avoids a lot of the Cerberus crew because she feels like she can’t trust them, though there are a few exceptions.

6. Initial reaction to EDI? Does it change?

she’s wary. at first she only thinks of EDI as a Cerberus tool, and is terrified of being spied on. but her open-mindedness about AI & her conversations with EDI really open her eyes, and she apologizes to EDI about her initial misgivings before going through the Omega 4 relay.

7. Does their love interest move into their quarters?

ABSOLUTELY, she’s encouraging Garrus to move in the first chance she gets. he’s a little bit hesitant (chain of command and Turian propriety and all that) but Celine is rather…..convincing. she wins him over. 😉

8. What is their reaction to the Alchera mission? And after?

she does not take it very well. once she gets the assignment she drops everything to get to Alchera as fast as she can. she spends hours down on the planet - it’s really the first time she’s confronting the fact that she died, and by the time she gets back to the Normandy she’s a mess. luckily, Joker and Garrus are waiting for her, and they sit with her in her cabin for hours until she’s finally able to fall asleep.

9. What type of fighter is your shepard? Do they fight with honor, or do they fight dirty?

vanguard baybeeeeeee. & if you ask Celine, she’ll swear up and down to you that she fights with honor. if you ask the person who just tried to shoot one of her friends and then sees her charging at them from across the battlefield? wellllll that’s another story.

10. Does Shepard keep any pets? The hamster, fish, something else?

Celine LOVES animals. following her resurrection, adopting the space hamster and the fish are some of the first things that she really does just for herself. she’s devastated when she has to turn herself in and leave her animals behind, but she uses her one hour of outside time per day during house arrest to feed stray cats that live on the Alliance base.

11. What order does Shepard pick up companions in me2? Miranda&Jacob, Kasumi, Zaeed, Garrus, Mordin, Grunt, Jack, Samara, Thane, Tali, Legion

12. Does Shepard have any nicknames? What do they think of em?

she doesn’t, and she usually discourages people from calling her anything other than her title or her name. Vega gets away with calling her Lola because they have a brother/sister relationship, but it took a while for them to get there & he’s the only one she tolerates it from. the only other exception is Garrus, who occasionally lets slip a “my love” or something similar, to which Celine always reacts by going full heart eyes emoji. (I have a lot of backstory here to explain why she feels this way but this answer is already long hahahaha)

13. How does your Shep react to teasing/ribbing?

she loves it & she gives as good as she gets. teasing is the building block to friendship for her.

14. Any good at flirting?

she is, but only on accident. when she’s trying to flirt with someone she gets in her head and stumbles over her words, but she’s a natural flirt and doesn’t realize it.

15. What colors does Shepard prefer for their armor?

Celine loves pink. It is her all time favorite color, and she starts wearing pink armor the second she’s able to get away with it.

16. Is Shepard a drinker? History of other substances? Do they struggle with sobriety

In between Mindoir and Akuze, Celine was theee poster child for self destructive behavior. She drank and smoked A LOT, and most of the times she got in trouble it was for coming back to base late after a night of partying. After Akuze she really gets her act together, only drinking socially and not falling back on those habits…..until she gets resurrected, and can’t sleep, and there’s a bar on her ship. She spends a good portion of ME2 drinking too much, and only manages to stop again with Thane’s help. she has a few rough patches after that, but is always able to pull herself back out and eventually is able to drink socially again.

17. How does Shepard react to attention? Do they enjoy it?

she HATES it. being known as ~the survivor of Mindoir~ really fucked her up, and she views fame and attention from people she doesn’t know as something that will eat her alive. for Celine, the fame is one of the hardest parts of being the figurehead against the Reapers, and for the most part she lets other people address the media

18. Who’s the dream team? Which companions does Shepard fight best with and why?

ME1 - Garrus and Wrex

ME2 - Garrus and Thane (sniper squad my beloved)

ME3 - Garrus and Liara

19. Are there any companions your Shepard just absolutely cannot vibe with or relate to

Celine and Zaeed butt heads A LOT, and it takes a long time for her to find middle ground with him. And while she ultimately comes to see Miranda and Jacob as friends, the Cerberus stuff gets in the way for a really, really long time.

20. Does Shepard enjoy looking for resources and upgrading gear, or do they see it as a chore?

she adores it! her dad was a mechanic, and so she grew up tinkering with all sorts of farm equipment. her love of building things and taking things apart is what she initially bonds with Garrus and Tali over

21. Do you have any AUs for your shepard?

no, but give me some time.

22. What’s the last thing Shepard ate before the final reaper showdown?

Celine would forget to eat at all if Garrus wasn’t looking out for her. He gets her a random MRE and she just sort of eats it without tasting it while trying to get ready

24. Who does Shepard turn to for advice? For comfort? Who do they like to gossip with

For advice - Anderson, Wrex, Thane, Samara,

Comfort - Garrus, Thane, Tali, Ashley, Joker, Chakwas

Gossip - Liara, Tali, Jack, Joker

25. How emotionally articulate is your Shepard? Do they emote well?

She *can* be emotionally articulate, but she shuts down in moments of duress. Post-Akuze she attended A LOT of therapy, and so she’s able to recognize when she’s lashing out or having PTSD symptoms. she just doesn’t always remember what to do during those moments.

26. Does your Shepard have a romance? Who are they, and what drew Shep to them?

ME1 - Celine has the *biggest* crush on Liara, but doesn’t want to take advantage of her after the death of her mother/is afraid of fucking up her job. Ashley knows and encourages her to go for it, but Celine ends up spending the night before Ilos just sitting in the cockpit and talking with Joker.

ME 2 - look, Celine doesn’t MEAN to fall for her Turian bestie. but they’ve both been through a lot and he really *gets her* and no one makes her laugh like he does and uh oh what are these feelings doing here??? only now she’s with Cerberus and doesn’t care about being professional so why not go for it?

ME 3 - the funny thing about the Alliance putting her in house arrest is, it makes Celine not care even a little bit if anyone knows that Garrus is living in her cabin.

27. Do they have any pet peeves? Does the council count?

28. What about hyperfixations? What’s the topic that will get Shepard rolling no matter the person or place?

She lovesssss any kind of activity she can do with her hands, and always encourages other people to do these activities with her. During war she’s really only able to mod guns and work on her model ships, but post-ME3 she gets really into puzzles and Legos and knitting

29. How active is Shepard? Are they hitting the gym, playing sports, or do they prefer quieter downtime?

Celine goes to the gym out of necessity; her only true physical hobby is yoga. while she’s on the Normandy, she reads a lot and just spends time with her friends.

30. What will always make them laugh?

Celine’s a little bit of a thrill seeker - while everyone else was screaming in the back seat of the mako, she was giggling the entire time

31. Who can always make them laugh?

oh god, it would be faster to name the people who couldn’t. Celine is pretty quick to laugh and genuinely finds a lot of things funny.

32. What do they do when they have hit their limit angry, just incandescent with rage

she shuts down. just goes totally silent and retreats from other people. when it gets really bad, she smashes her model ships and then has to rebuild them.

33. What skills do they have that are a surprise to the people around them?

she can blow a perfect smoke ring, every time she tries

34. Got any tattoos?

in game, no. she just never had the time. but post-ME3? oh yeah, she goes nuts getting them. it’s one of the only things that lets her really feel like her body belongs to her.

35. Which companions have they lost? How do they cope with it?

Kaidan, Thane, Mordin, and Legion. They’re all hard on her, but she takes Thane’s death the worst. He was one of her best friends, and losing him takes her to a really dark place.

36. Do they like to style their hair, wear makeup and jewlery? How do they feel about getting dressed up?

She wears her hair braided during combat, to keep it out of the way, and doesn’t bother putting makeup on. During downtime though? Her hair is always down, and she usually wears at least a little bit of makeup. She loves to dress up and look pretty, and doing so reminds her of her mom.

37. Got any bad habits?

she can get so focused on things that she completely forgets to take care of herself - eventually EDI has to start informing other people on the ship how long it’s been since she’s slept or eaten, and they have to drag her to bed against her will

38. Does Shepard do any activities with the companions and crew during downtime?

she starts a book club during her time with Cerberus - it starts as a joke between her and Kasumi, but eventually catches on with like half of the squad. she keeps it up during ME3 and one of her very first messages to her friends when she wakes up post-Reaper War is that she’s earned making the next book pick

39. Do they keep around any sentimental items?

she wears a necklace that belonged to her mother in ME1. she loses it when she dies over Alchera, and in ME3 Garrus has a replica made for her

40. Does your Shepard actually like to collect model ships? If not, what do they display? yeah, she does. Joker teases her for it relentlessly, but he buys her a new one every chance he gets.

41. How is Shepard with a gun? What about hand to hand?

she’s DEADLY with a gun, but not as good with hand to hand. because of her biotics, she never really learned the subtleties of hand to hand combat

42. Favorite weapon? she’s her own favorite weapon

43. Which version of the Normandy do they like best? The SR2

44. Do they like to rotate out companions for quests? Who do they bring the most? oh yeah, she rotates people all of the time. part of it depends on what they’re doing, but she’s also very aware of who works best with each other. if she can, she’ll always bring Garrus - she just feels safer with him at her back - but she also isn’t afraid to have him stay behind if she thinks someone else would do better on the mission

45. Do they approve of curing the genophage? HELL YEAH, fuck the genophage.

46. Does Shepard allow the rachni to live in me1? she does! She knows what everyone believes about the rachni, but when she sees what the Queen has been through she knows that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t let her go

47. Does Shepard practice any kind of self-care? her model ships & reading, mostly. eventually, Thane teaches her how to meditate and once he does she does it almost every day.

48. What abilities do they rely on the most in a fight? her biotics, 10000 percent. she knows a weapon can always run out of ammo but doesn’t feel that away about herself. (she’s not very good at recognizing her own limits)

49. What is Shepard’s happy ending? What’s the dream that keeps em going?

she’s always wanted to live in a place long enough to get her own pets. after she starts dating Garrus, she fantasizes about the two of them picking out a cat or training a dog together.

50. Is your Shepard indoctrinated

it’s….complicated. 😈

(+1: what does Shepard smell like?)

Citrus! she always buys shampoo and conditioner that smell like fruit, because it reminds her of her childhood

#forgive my phone photo of my television hahaha #i think i'm going to commission art of her for my birthday in november.......i'm Contemplating

[winterscaptain]

advocate.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the very first part of ajf! the beginning of our story! oh my goodness! this got a little long, but there was a lot i wanted to pack in here. thank you all for your patience as i worked through this <3 i’ve got some fun graphics in here for you - open them for best quality!

words: 8.45k warnings: language, alcohol use, canon-typical descriptions of injury and violence, mention of suicide

summary: “our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.” - oscar wilde. au!july-september 2007

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

“Director Shepard?” 

You approach her, feeling very young, with a question and a smile. 

She turns, smiling at you softly. “Yes?”

Her lecture was immaculate - she covered a broad swath of topics - being the first female director of NCIS, her history in international relations and liaison work with British and Israeli intelligence - all of which paved a bit of a roadmap for success in federal law enforcement. 

You introduce yourself and shake her hand. “I’ve gotta tell you it was a challenge to choose between agencies in my applications, I admire your work both as an agent and director of NCIS and I was wondering…” 

You lose your nerve a bit, but steel yourself again and ask. 

“... Would you be willing to meet with me and talk about your career trajectory a little more?”

There’s a light in her eyes as she studies you with a kind of supreme benevolence and gentleness. “I would.” 

+++

“Alright,” she says, setting her napkin in her lap. “What do you want to know?” 

You laugh a little, “Is everything a good place to start?”

She laughs, and you’re immediately drawn to her warmth. There’s a kind of fire in her, and it doesn’t just come from her hair. “Not at all. Though I’ll give you some unsolicited advice now, to save some time. Find someone you can follow, someone you can learn from.”

She goes on to tell you about her mentor, still on the Major Case Response Team under her purview at NCIS. Though she’s his boss now, she tells you that she still goes to him for advice, for friendship. 

“Trusting the people you work with always comes first. It’s not always possible, but when you can manage it. It makes everything better. Always protect them where you can, and don’t ignore the politics”

You do everything except take notes as she tells more stories, how she’s switched from “probie” to Agent to diplomat to Director, before she turns back to you. 

“Do you know which unit you’re interested in, yet?” 

You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m hoping I’ll have a better idea when the Quantico unit chiefs start coming in to lecture. I’m hoping one of them will catch my interest.”

“Great idea. When one of them does, give me a call. I think any unit could benefit from someone like you.”

+++

Agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Gideon have your attention the moment they step into the room. They’re confident, with a sharp kind of intelligence you admire. 

The world of the BAU is fascinating. Serial killers, sex criminals, the very worst of depraved humanity is their everyday. While it sounds somewhat horrifying, it compels you. 

Agent Hotchner especially catches your attention. He’s confident in a kind of serious, bladed way. Clearly intelligent, he commands the attention of everyone in the room and effortlessly wields his authority among curious students and his fellow agents. 

You’d think Agent Gideon would be the obvious leader, what with all his years of experience and seniority, but even with his grasp of a field he shaped, he doesn’t hold a candle to Hotchner. 

With your half-hour-old knowledge, you put together a quick profile of the remaining figure. 

Agent Morgan, while strong and clearly an alpha male, brings a skepticism with him. It hangs in the air around him and seems to apply to both of his colleagues. There’s something about Agent Gideon that makes him uneasy, distrustful. He tends to shift his weight away from him when they get too close to each other. 

He’s not overt about his skepticism regarding Agent Hotchner, but you get the idea there’s more under the surface you couldn’t possibly know just by studying his behavior in a lecture hall. 

This is fun. 

You hide your smile in your notebook, jotting down a couple of notes as Agent Gideon continues his “brief overview of profile-driven serial killer arrests.” 

+++. 

“Director Shepard’s office.”

“Hi Cynthia,” you greet her secretary. “Is Director Shepard in?”

She connects you, and you ask about the BAU. 

“Is Jason Gideon still the unit chief over there?” She asks. You can already hear her typing and you’re more than a little concerned about her tenacity in this moment. 

“No, ma’am, it’s Agent Hotchner, now.”

“Perfect.”

+++

+++

You’re called into SSA Radner’s office the following Monday to “discuss some changes to your academy courses.” 

That doesn’t sound good. 

SSA Radner, an imposing and intimidating woman, is the SSAIC in charge of your NAT class - the person in charge of your collective fates. 

No pressure. 

She opens the door when you knock, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk. “Please, have a seat.” 

You chuckle nervously. “Thanks, Agent Radner.” You note her little smile as she sits at her desk, and chance a question. “Have I done something, I dunno, wrong? We don’t seem to find much good news in the SAIC’s office at my rank.” 

That pulls a laugh from her. “I wouldn't worry too much. I have a proposition for you. It’s...unusual, but not unheard of.” 

Your brow crumples a little and she exhales. 

“It might actually be better if - yeah. Hold on.” She clicks her intercom and her assistant chirps from the other side. 

“Yes ma’am?”

“Please send them in. I’d like to do a joint briefing.” 

Joint briefing? What is this, the third invasion of Iraq?

The door opens behind you and you whip around, finding Agent Hotchner and IOS Section Chief Erin Strauss. 

What the fuck? 

Either you’ve done something terrible or insane and you’re not sure which. 

Chief Strauss addresses you first, shaking your hand. You introduce yourself for good measure but have a feeling she already knows who you are. 

“It’s come to our attention that you have ambitious interests and are taking exceptional steps to make the most of your education and training at the academy. Is this a fair assessment?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Agent Hotchner steps forward, sort of looming over you with something that isn’t quite a stern look. You take his hand when he offers, introducing yourself and ignoring the jolt of energy that shoots up your arm at his touch. 

His handshake is firm, his hands dry and warm. He looks different up close, younger, maybe. There’s the barest touch of grey at his temples, the beginnings of lines around his mouth and eyes. 

Not what I expected.

What did you expect? 

How old could he be? Thirty-five, maybe? 

Shut up. 

He’s handsome. 

Shut up!

His face relaxes a little bit before he speaks. “Director Shepard, a close professional colleague, has been a staunch advocate for you and your talents. She approached me about taking you on, giving you case hours in lieu of some coursework.” 

“You’d have some catching up to do, as it’s already three weeks into your twenty, and we’d transfer you into the profiling classes,” Agent Radner adds. “But with your diligence, I doubt you’ll have trouble with the added workload.” 

“No, ma’am. That should be fine. But,” you look between the three of them, “what does ‘case hours in lieu of some coursework’ mean, exactly?” 

“You’d be on assignment with the BAU until you received your formal assignment following successful completion of the academy, with the possibility of assignment with the BAU as a full-fledged agent.” Chief Strauss rattles off the information as if it’s the thousandth time she’s said it. 

It might be. 

You can’t even fathom how much effort and time must have gone into this decision. The realization leaves you speechless. 

She prompts you again. “Does that sound like an opportunity in which you’d be interested?”

“Oh, yes, ma’am.” You feel a little stupid, but you’re rewarded with a proud smile from Agent Radner. 

You could also swear you saw a twitch of Agent Hotchner’s lips, but he doesn’t seem to be a man who smiles much. 

+++

“So this’ll be your desk,” Agent Jennifer-but-my-friends-call-me-JJ Jareau says, pointing to one of the many desks in the bullpen. 

You set your bag down with a little smile, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. 

Agent Morgan pats your shoulder as he passes your desk. “You’ll do just fine, kid. Ready for a case briefing in ten?” 

“Sure.”

His blinding smile eats up his whole face and you like him already. He’s different than you thought he’d be, but you still don’t think your preliminary profile was too far off.

Agent Gideon, still holed up in his office, has yet to acknowledge you. 

Your eyes keep wandering to the open blinds, behind which Agent Hotchner and a woman you understand to be his wife have a quiet, apparently heated argument on either side of his desk. Except for the tight set of her mouth and the angry glint in her eye, she seems lovely. 

Derek follows your gaze. “Wasn’t always like that.” 

You look at him, a little furrow in your brow. 

Should he be telling me this?

“She’s not always here either, but their son, Jack, has been sick, so it’s been… tense.” Derek shakes his head. “You wouldn’t catch me married in this job, not once.” 

That pulls a laugh from you. 

Emily, sitting at the desk beside you, turns in her chair. “Remind me to drink to that later.” 

Derek snorts and picks up a couple of files, headed up to the round table room. 

+++

Your first case briefing is, well...brief. The case seems fairly straightforward and you run through relevant vocabulary while JJ outlines the case details. 

Preferential offender, keeps his victims for no more than three days, victims found in public places. 

He wants them found, and fast. 

Need-based, maybe? What are his priors? 

You’re all dismissed with a brisk, “Wheels up in thirty.” 

You pack your things a little slower than probably called for. Hotch disappears into his office again, closing the door behind him. When you pass the window, his wife is tucked under his chin. 

Hotch’s eyes flicker to yours and you quickly train your gaze on the floor, hustling down the stairs. 

+++

You land next to each other when you board the plane. You do your best to avoid taking anyone's assigned seat. 

With a team of this size, you can only assume they have such things.

And they do. 

Gideon, Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss take a seat at the table while JJ perches on the arm of the couch. 

Hotch settles at the informal “head” of the table, leaning on the chairs across the aisle. You take a seat in one of the chairs in the row next to him, trying to stay out of the way. 

“C’mere, kid,” Derek says, beckoning you forward. “You’re on this team.” 

You shuffle forward in your seat, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and case file open in your hands. “I’m ready.” 

JJ smiles at you, and you almost feel comfortable. 

+++

You end up alone with Hotch in the precinct conference room after you land, unboxing files and sorting them for Spencer. Until you know enough to make yourself useful, you’ve made it your mission to handle the tedious and the clerical. 

Hotch pauses every once in a while as if he wants to say something. You continue on your way. When he’s ready, he’ll stop you. 

“I’m sorry about earlier. My wife, Haley, she -” 

You look up, waving him off with a little smile. “It’s okay, Hotch. It’s none of my business.” 

He looks at you for a minute, studying your face with a bit of a squint. “You mean that.” 

It’s not a question. 

You’re confused. 

“Of course.” A nervous laugh leaves you. “I mean, you’re welcome to tell me if you want, but it’s nothing I need to speculate or gossip about or, God forbid, profile.” 

The shock and relief war on his face until it settles back into something that looks like his usual severity, but a little softer. He doesn't say anything else, but you have the sneaking suspicion you passed a test neither one of you prepared for. 

Spencer and Emily return from their trip to the medical examiner’s office. 

“Who organized these?” Spencer asks, pointing at the neat piles you made. 

“Me.” You look up from another box you’re working on. “Would it be helpful if they’re sorted another way? I went chronologically and then by number and type of offenses, with preferential offenders that match the M.O. on top, when possible.” 

Emily, Hotch, and Spencer freeze, staring at you like you grew another head in front of them. 

You’re suddenly and violently self-conscious. “What?”

Spencer snaps out of it first, shaking his head and picking up a stack. “Nothing that’s just...um…”

“Exactly right,” Emily supplies. She glances at Hotch before looking back at you. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” 

Hotch is the last to break, but the curious little glances he keeps throwing your way always linger a little too long. 

To your credit, you ignore them. 

+++

“So, how are you liking it so far?” Derek slides into the driver’s seat and rolls out of the parking lot. 

You’re headed to another witness’s house under direct orders to observe and as a few (carefully directed) questions. Derek insisted on bringing you himself while the others keep busy with something else. 

“I’m liking it,” you reply. 

He laughs. “Coulda fooled me.” 

You screw up your face and look over at him. “What do you mean?” 

“Well,” he says through a laugh, “when you’re not making yourself ridiculously useful, you look terrified.” 

“I am terrified.” 

“Nothin’ to be scared of as long as you keep asking questions,” he says. 

It’s almost like he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds. 

“You’re joking, right?” You turn to face him, shifting in your seat. “Agent Morgan -” 

He cuts you off. You’re pretty sure that’s just how he is - he interrupts the other members of the team frequently and fearlessly. “- Derek. Or Morgan.” 

“Fine. Morgan, you have to know that your team is legendary. I don’t even know why -”

“- Don’t say it.” He flags his hand before putting it back on the wheel. “You’re here for a reason, and none of us are going to let you fall so hard you can’t pick yourself up, okay?” He glances over, meeting your eyes. “We’ve got your back.” 

You quirk a smile. “Thanks.” 

“And,” he adds, “Hotch seems to like you alright. That’s half the battle.” 

“What’s the other half?” 

He snorts. “Gideon. And local law enforcement.” 

+++

You settle in a little easier after that. JJ’s your next target as you help her make some calls to the D.A.’s office. 

You hang up and take a breath, slumping back in your chair. It’s been a long day already and it’s not even lunchtime. 

“Hanging in there?” JJ asks, smiling at you over her files. 

You nod. “Yeah. Just a… different kind of energy than the academy, I think.” 

“I felt that way when I got here, too. Gideon was unit chief back then and Spence had just started, too.” She huffs a laugh. “It was a little easier when there were more newbies, but then…” Her face clouds over and she shakes her head. 

“Then...what?” 

She looks up at you and her mouth twists. “Boston.” 

+++

“Hey, Derek?” 

“Yeah?” He keeps his eyes on the road, but he can hear the trepidation in your voice. 

The dark interior of the car feels safe in the early hours of the morning, headed back to the hotel. “You said I could ask you anything, right?” 

His eyebrows pinch. “Shoot.”

“What happened in Boston?” 

Derek takes a breath and lets it out in a whoosh. “I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be there.” 

You wait on him, watching him watch the road. 

“Unsub holed himself up in a massive warehouse. Gideon called in all the support he could - A Team, B Team, SWAT, the whole nine. I was visiting my mom in Chicago for her birthday like I do every year.” 

He stops at a red light, and you take a moment to look past him into the adjacent SUV, where Emily and Hotch’s profiles rest in a statuesque silhouette, backlit by the streetlamp. 

“It was a trap from the start. Everyone pushed in on Gideon’s order and the whole thing just…” He tosses his hand up and it lands with a smack on the leather steering wheel. “It just went up. Boom. Six BAU agents in our unit, dead, just like that. Had to rebuild from scratch.” 

You shiver, though the car is warm. “I’m so sorry, Derek.” 

He shrugs. “Gideon took six months off, Hotch took over. Gideon came back, Hotch stayed up front.” He smiles a little. “Haley wasn’t happy, but that’s the job.” 

Why does it always come back to Haley? To Hotch? 

Because he’s the unit chief. 

I know but…

Don’t read into it. 

You decide to push, just because it’s Derek, because he seems to know, because you feel safe with him, because it might be a mistake. “Is that what you meant?”

“Hm?” His head turns just a little toward you, his brow furrowed. 

“You told me on my first day ‘It wasn’t always like this.’ Is that what you meant?”

“No sane man would take on the unit chief position with a wife and baby on the way.” He shrugs and with a secret little smile says, “But nobody ever accused Hotch of being sane.” 

+++

Aaron sits in front of his computer, the end of his pen tapping on the glossy wood of his desk. 

Does he have feedback? He’s not sure. 

Even with your limited knowledge, you’ve managed to optimize most of the administrative bullshit and political nonsense that clogs most local investigations. You bounce between acting as his shadow and JJ’s, making friends and soothing hurts when toes inevitably get stepped on. 

You’ve immediately adapted to his style of criticism and correction, using Derek and Spencer as guide-rails when you’re not sure where you’re going. 

There’s nothing to complain about. 

But then again…

Feedback isn’t just about the negative. 

If he’s honest with himself, he knows he won’t shower you in the glowing praise you deserve. Gideon never did for him or anyone that came after. 

It’s not in their nature, or his. 

He starts to type. 

Glancing out his office window, his eyes find you hunched over your desk, poring over one of Spencer’s notebooks, a pinch in your brow as deep as the Grand Canyon. 

You work hard, impossibly hard. You throw everything you have at your work in the field while managing your courses and keeping up with your classmates. 

That in mind, he drafts an email to Jenny. 

With a sigh, he sends it.

He’s still thinking of what you said on the last case, the genuine truth of it, and how many times he has done his best to preempt the gossip that plagues this office, no matter who it’s about. 

This unit, as much of a family as it may be, constantly wraps itself in the business of everyone else. To know you couldn’t give less of a shit about his marriage when the rest of the team (save Gideon) probably has money on when Haley calls it quits is, admittedly, refreshing. 

+++

After being in the field, classes take on a new kind of banality. You’re keeping up well enough, but watching Gideon and Derek quarrel over the details of a profile beats diving into the techniques - you guessed it - Gideon developed from cases past. 

Hotch and Garcia were gracious enough to CC you on emails while you were grounded at the academy, but it wasn’t the same. 

It was hard not to feel left behind, like the last kid chosen for dodgeball in PE class, watching the rest of the unit leave the office. You hung back in the bullpen as long as you could find something to do this morning, making it to class at the very last minute. 

Even after lectures, your classmates want nothing more than your attention. You’re suddenly consulting on three different practicals and never have a lunch to yourself.

Most afternoons, you sneak into the bullpen just for some peace and quiet. 

You hear your last name and look up, finding Erin Strauss approaching you. You stand. “Ma’am.”

“What are you working on?”

You look down at your desk, finding practical and theoretical exam notes shuffled around next to mock consults and other nonsense Hotch dropped on his way to the jet earlier in the week. “Course work, mostly. It’s nice to… get away every once in a while.”

Erin nods with a little smile. “I’d imagine you’ve been pretty popular lately.”

You shrug, a little facetious. “You could say that.”

She pays your shoulder in a surprisingly maternal gesture, before wishing you luck and leaving you to your work. 

At this point, you can’t even imagine just being an FBI agent. 

+++

You’ve just closed your burning, tired eyes when your phone rings. 

You answer, your last name a grumble into the mic. 

“It’s Hotch.”

You sit up straight in bed, immediately awake. “Sorry, sir, I -“

“I should apologize. I don’t mean to interrupt your studying or wake you but I think I could use your opinion on this profile.”

You frown in the dark, flipping your desk lamp on. “My help, sir?”

“Yeah.”  He heaves a sigh and you can almost see the fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been looking at it too long.”

“Maybe Derek, can -“

“No. You. Here, listen -“

He rattles off the details of the case and you snatch your notebook and pen off the desk, jotting things down as Hotch continues through the case. 

“Have you identified and contacted local individuals who fit the victimology, taken steps to protect them? He’s a preferential offender with a predictable cooling-off period, right?” 

For some reason, this isn’t half as exhausting as the practical exam practice you’d been working on for the last five hours. You may or may not have written those exact questions about fifteen times, but it’s far less exhausting when directed at Hotch. 

“Yeah. Two high-risk victims are in protective custody and JJ’s been in touch since this morning.”

You go through a few more basic questions, getting your feet under you, before asking the one you’re really after. 

“Sir, why did you call me?”

“I needed another set of eyes.”

You huff a laugh. “No, I gathered that, but why did you call me? I’m in the middle of learning about something you’ve been doing for…” You search for a number, but your brain is fried. 

“Too long,” he supplies. 

“Sure. But my point stands.”

“That it does.” Something creaks in the background and you imagine he’s leaned back in his chair. 

“Did I help?” You’re happy he can’t see your dubious, if not entirely doubtful, expression. 

He’s happy you can’t see the little fond smile on his face. “Yes, actually. You did.”

+++

“Wheels up in thirty.” 

You all stand from the table and start your routines. Emily and Spencer make a beeline for the coffee machine while JJ jets back to her office for contact sheets and files and all manner of coordinating materials. 

Derek’s routine is simple enough - he already has his coffee and his go bag, so he’s answering a few emails before wheels up. 

You never really know what to do during this liminal space, so you stick to classwork. 

Much to your surprise, you’ve shot ahead in your classes on the shoulders of Derek and Spencer. They’ve been monumentally helpful with the history and application of profiling techniques (though much of Derek’s advice has been ‘just watch Gideon,’ you’re not sure how to watch a process that takes place entirely inside the man’s head). 

You ride with Hotch to the airstrip, looking out the window most of the way. It’s only a five minute drive, but the tree-lined roads around Quantico are always lovely this time of the morning. 

As always, you do your best to stay out of the way on the plane, taking up residence on Hotch’s right with your notebook and case file. 

You offer some thoughts here and there, not pushing too much or saying enough to make an ass of yourself. 

When Hotch calls break, the rest of the team scatters to their respective corners. 

Gideon turns to you, gesturing with one finger. “Hey, ah…” 

Spencer chirps your last name from across the cabin and you shoot him a grateful smile. 

“Good job in the briefing, today.” 

And with that, he disappears to the far side of the cabin, leaving you and Hotch alone by the table. 

“Wow,” you say with a little smile. “I didn’t know he was aware of my existence.” 

Hotch doesn’t say anything, but his lips twitch. 

Success. 

+++

“Welcome back, kiddo!” Derek offers you fist and you bump your knuckles against his on your way back to your desk. “How’d those exams go?”

You huff, playing at defeat. “Oh, you know.” 

“Don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.” 

Hotch, returning from a meeting with Strauss, hardly looks up from the file in his hand when he says, “Well done on your exams. SSA Radner threatened to hang your marksmanship targets on her wall.” 

You hide a smile. “Thanks, Hotch.” 

“Not fair!” Spencer says, tossing another Tums in his mouth. “I never passed those.” 

“Then how on earth do you have that, Reid?” You point at his six-shooter, still clipped to his hip. 

“Wait wait wait,” JJ says, dropping her files and crossing her arms. “You haven’t heard that story?” 

Your eyes flicker from Derek, to JJ, to Spencer, and back. “...No.”

JJ settles in, regaling you with a wild tale of an L.D.S.K. - 

“You remember what that stands for, right?” Derek points at you and you have a feeling this is about to become some kind of pop quiz. 

“Yeah. Long Distance Serial Killer.” 

“Good. Famous unsubs include…?” 

You sit back in your chair with a little smirk on your face. “D.C. Snipers Muhammad and Malvo, active October 2002, seventeen victims total. Apprehended by agents from the FBI Baltimore field office -” 

Derek holds up a finger. “And?”

“- and the BAU and the Maryland State Police.” 

“Good.” 

JJ waits for Derek to nod at her and she continues what you imagine to be a rather embellished version of a story in which Hotch and Reid save the day.

“...And then Hotch just starts kicking the shit out of Spencer -” 

Hotch’s office door shuts and he sails down the stairs with one of those little secret smiles. “This one ends with Reid stealing my sidearm and shooting the unsub in the head.” He taps right between his eyebrows in the barest of pauses on his way out of the bullpen. “Dead center.” 

Derek and JJ groan, both whining about how he ruined the punchline before devolving into a fit of giggles. You can almost see the smirk on his face as he pushes through the glass door and turns the corner. 

You join in the mirth, ruffling Reid’s hair. He smiles widely at you. 

Maybe you could just get used to this place.   

+++

The second round of classes on top of added case hours (you’re traveling with the unit more often than not) nearly brings you to the brink. 

On the plane back to Quantico, you realize you can’t remember the last time you actually had a full night of sleep. 

The rest of the unit is out cold, curled into themselves or stretched out under blankets, save for Hotch and Gideon. 

Gideon’s writing in that wretched notebook again, entirely focused on his work under the weak reading light. 

Aaron sits beside you on the other side of the cabin, looking over a few files before returning home. You watch him check his watch, sigh, shrug, and pull out his phone. To your surprise, he doesn’t move to give himself space as he calls his wife. 

“Hey, honey, it’s me… Yeah, we’re on the plane. Should be back within the next hour and a half... “ 

He sighs and tightly closes his eyes. “Haley, please… Yes, I know Jack’s already asleep… Are you implying I didn’t do my damnedest to - Then what’s your point?...” 

His voice never once rises above a low murmur. It’s impressive.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can… No, I won’t pass ‘Go’ or collect two-hundred dollars or step foot into my office… Yes. Plane. Tarmac. Car. Home… Yeah… Love you too.” 

He snaps his phone shut and leans back, tipping his head against the headrest.  

You stay quiet, continuing your review of S.S.A. Bailey’s course on, ironically, conflict de-escalation. 

Hotch takes a talking breath and you look over at him, keeping a kind of soft understanding on your face - really, shooting for anything that isn’t curiosity. 

“I appreciate your…” He looks for a word. “Discretion.” 

You laugh a little down your nose. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s none of my business?”

“How many times do I have to imply that a phrase like that isn’t in the vocabulary of this team, usually?” He shifts a little, and you notice his thumb, running along his forefinger like he’s searching for bone. 

“Is it really that bad?”

Hotch raises his eyebrows, and you relent. 

“Fine.” You drop your voice. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen?”

He shrugs. “An outside perspective might be nice.” 

You keep your eyes on your book as you speak, keeping your volume low and your tone as neutral as you can. 

“I’ve seen how Emily worries about fitting in - I can’t help but relate. This team is a family and it’s… hard to break through that sort-of-wall to the outside world.” 

The prickly feeling of his eyes on you isn’t altogether unpleasant, but you still haven’t grown used to it. 

“Derek and Spencer are worried about Gideon and,” you glance at him briefly, “so are you. Everyone seems to want to know why, but I don't think that’s always useful.” 

Hotch hums once, maybe in agreement - you’re not too sure. 

You are sure, though, that this was a test. 

“How’d I do, Counselor?”

It’s never too early to invoke the J.D. hanging in a frame behind his desk. It was the first thing you noticed and suddenly, a lot more made sense. 

You’re rewarded with a small smile. “Not bad. Though you did forget to drop in the little bit about my marriage.” 

“I didn’t forget,” you assure him.

“No?” 

“No. I figure if you have something to say, you seem like the kind of person who’d just say it. At least,” you shrug, “that’s my impression.” 

He’s quiet for a minute before he squints and looks over your shoulder at your reading. His brown eyes track down the page before returning to yours. He’s close to you, but you’re not uncomfortable. 

Hotch is...safe. Somehow. 

“There’s a reason you’re the exception. Not sure what it is yet,” he says. “But there’s a reason.” 

“What?” 

He leans back, a cryptic little smile on his face, and says nothing else for the rest of the flight.

+++

“Hotch, are you sure it’s not a trick question?” 

“The questions aren’t designed to trick you,” comes a voice from the doorway. To your surprise, it’s Gideon. “They’re designed to stretch and reveal your instincts. No right answer.” 

The corners of his mouth turn down while his eyebrows rise in that kind of halfway-encouraging look he sometimes gets. “Just go with your gut.” 

He disappears and you turn back to Hotch, scribbling away in a file. 

“He’s right.” 

Your brain feels less and less bound to your body as the days pass. “Am I nuts, or is that the most words he’s strung together since I got here, combined?” 

What you now know to be a smile twitches at Hotch’s mouth. “You’re not nuts.” 

You sigh and turn your attention back to your mock exam, twiddling your pencil between your fingers. “I’m sorry to keep bugging you with homework - it feels like cheating.” 

He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Resourcefulness is not cheating. If it was, I’d have to go back and get my J.D. out of a Cracker Jack box.” 

You muffle a laugh.

He checks his watch. “I have a check-in with the budget office in five minutes. You’re welcome to stay right where you are, but it’ll be boring and I plan to do a lot of pacing.” 

You hold your hands up in surrender and settle in. 

Friday afternoons in the office feel a lot like Saturdays in the office - which is to say, nothing happens at all. The rest of the team is catching up on paperwork while Gideon walks laps with his little notebook. 

Not three minutes into his conversation, Hotch stands and begins to pace, as promised. 

"No, we can't cut the technology budget... Because if the BAU gets called to a remote region, we need to have immediate access to satellite phones and our technical analyst… Yes… Send the budget to the Director, and I'm certain it'll come back approved without changes… The arrest and prosecution rate of this unit is -” 

His desk phone rings and he gestures for you to pick it up. 

“Agent Hotchner’s office,” you say with more than a little trepidation. You’re definitely not qualified to answer the unit chief’s phone. 

“Goddamn it, Aaron why can’t you -” She pauses. “Wait. Sorry. Who is this?” 

You introduce yourself. “I’m currently on-assignment with the unit. It’s… unconventional.” 

“Hm. Why are you answering Aaron’s phone?” Her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s more curious than that. You’d imagine this doesn’t happen all that often. He’s either at his desk, or he’s not at his desk. 

She calls him Aaron. 

You’re not sure why that surprises you. They’re married, and he has a first name. 

Taking a look across the room, you watch Hotch’s profile as he continues to defend the budget he submitted. 

Aaron. 

You make an attempt to see the man behind the suit, the man who goes home to his wife and son when he can. 

“I’m using his office to study for my academy exams. I’ll see if I can reach Agent Hotchner for you. Just a second.”

She snorts something that could be a laugh if it wasn’t so sharp. “Thanks.” 

Hotch looks over and squints at you, mouthing, Who is it? 

You put her on hold and answer in a stage whisper. “It’s your wife.”

Hotch freezes for just a second - it almost looks like he’s rebooting. 

He blinks three times in rapid succession before he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Tell her I’m in a meeting. I’ll call her back.” You move to reach for the phone but he holds up a finger and you freeze. “Wait two minutes.”

You follow instructions, taking the time to answer a few more mock exam questions. You try not to think too hard about his avoidance. This doesn’t seem like a particularly pressing phone call - Hotch is in budget meetings all the time. 

None of your business. 

After about a minute and a half, you pick up the phone again. 

Before you can say anything, she’s already back on her mini-rampage. About twenty seconds in, she pauses. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m still not talking to my husband, am I?”

De-escalate. Disarm. Establish rapport. 

You can do this. 

You channel Derek, using a softer tone designed to distract. Maybe you’ll sneak some humor in there, if you can manage it. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hotchner, he’s not available.” 

With a defeated sigh, she asks, flatly, “Where is he?” 

Humor. Play off her disappointment. 

“I assume he’s in a meeting or something - he likes to think he’s very important - but I can’t find him.” 

To your surprise, she laughs a little. 

You check with Hotch across the room. He rolls his eyes at you but continues his bickering. 

Success. 

“Can you just… I don’t know… Tell him I called, or something?” 

You try not to think too hard about the defeat in her tone. “I promise I’ll badger him to call you back as soon as he’s back at his desk, ma’am.”

“Wow.” She sounds impressed, and you’re not sure why. You’re not left in suspense for long. She continues - 

“You’re a way better liar than JJ. Also - please don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel old. Haley’s just fine.” 

“Of course.” 

“You know what…” She asks for your cell number and you give it to her, throwing a glance at Hotch for good measure. He’s still pacing. 

He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, but can’t say anything to you before he’s forced to respond to the poor budget clerk who drew the short straw. “No we can’t start sharing hotel rooms…”

Haley interrupts your momentary space-out. “Thanks, again. If he doesn’t have a chance to call me back, can you let him know I’m going to my sister’s for the weekend? With Jack?” 

“Sure.”

That’s another question I’m not going to ask. 

You hang up the phone and get back to your exam, trying not to feel comforted by the lull of familiarity in the room. 

+++

For some reason, you keep finding yourself alone in police precincts in the middle of nowhere with Hotch sitting across the table from you. 

“Hey,” he says. 

You look up. 

“Haley, she…” He heaves a sigh and trails off for a minute, frowning at a spot above your head. “I don’t know why I’m asking, what I’m asking.” 

You keep your eyes on him. “Shoot.” 

He takes another breath. “I don’t know how to make her happy anymore.” 

This is above my pay grade. 

“Everything I do seems to irritate her - trying, not trying, just surviving. I don’t know.” He shakes his head at your somewhat bewildered expression. “Sorry, I -” 

“No, no, Hotch. It’s fine.” You search for his eyes. “What can I do?” 

He shakes his head. “Any advice?” 

Any advice? Definitely above my pay grade. 

You also feel for him - he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t desperate. 

Besides that, it almost makes sense he’s asking you rather than anyone else on the team. They’ve all known him too long, have been too close to see his struggles clearly. They need to see him as an authority, separate from petty squabbles. 

Separate from the things that make him human. 

He needs to be a superhero for this team, and then go home and be a superhero for his family. Both parts of his life exist with a wall between them - Agent Hotchner can’t be a husband and a father in the field, and Mr. Haley Hotchner can’t be an agent at home. 

It must be lonely. 

Everyone else knows about and ignores that necessary separation. He trusts them as his colleagues, people he can rely on professionally, but perhaps not personally. 

Well, all except Emily. 

You get the feeling that he doesn’t completely trust Emily yet, but you’re not sure why. That’s another thing to figure out about the walking enigma sitting across from you. 

“Well… I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, but I think…” You search for words. 

It’s none of my business, is what you want to say. 

Instead, you offer, “Why don’t you just ask her?” 

His brow crumples. “What?”

“Ask her. You don’t know how to, I dunno, do it right on your own, it sounds like. But you’re a team, right? Just ask her.” 

You duck down to your work, getting the feeling he’d rather not be observed as he processes. There’s a part of you that wonders whether his preference for privacy masks his fear. 

Another part of you already knows the answer. 

+++

Derek and Emily walk back into the precinct, spotting the pair of you right where they left you. 

Hotch still watches you with a soft, curious frown on his face, like there’s a puzzle there he can’t quite solve. You diligently work away, sticking flags and post-its on cold cases for the board. 

“What’s with that?” 

Emily looks up from her phone. “What’s with what?”

Derek nudges his chin toward the conference room. “That.”

Emily’s brow pinches a little. “They seem to be getting along well.” Her mouth twists. “I didn’t think he’d warm up so easily. He didn’t with me.” 

“He gets like that. He’s getting better, though, ever since you called him out.” 

She snorts. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think he actually listened - I barely meant it.” 

“No, you didn’t.” Derek raises his eyebrows and searches for her eyes. “And he heard you.” 

Emily shifts her attention back to you, her posture softening. “Oh.” 

“C’mon,” Derek says, tapping her upper back with a good deal of affection. “Let’s regroup and see what we’ve got.”

+++

Aaron sits up in bed, the harsh light from the hotel table lamp illuminating the ugly wallpaper and the case files on the equally ugly bedspread. 

His fingers hover restlessly over the keys as he drafts his email, warring with himself. 

Does he want you on the team? Permanently? He’s already shown too much of his hand, revealed too much of himself, grew too comfortable too quickly. 

He’s not sure what it is about you that forced his guard down. 

You’re not the first person he’s asked about Haley, though he must admit that Gideon was next to no help. Spencer’s offered him unsolicited statistics about marital strife on three separate occasions in the past three months. 

Aaron presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. 

I live in a circus. 

He opens his eyes and reads over the email again. 

Fuck it. 

His cursor hovers over Send for just a moment before he clicks. The little whooshing sound seals his fate. 

+++

You land in Arizona and Gideon’s already on edge. There’s already another crime scene by the time you get off the plane

“This one’s going to be bad, isn’t it?” 

Derek sighs. “You’ve got good instincts. Stay close.” 

You elect yourself Derek’s shadow at the crime scene, taking notes for him while he circles and observes the body. 

Leaning close to him, you ask, “Isn’t the body positioning a sign of remorse?” 

He looks over at you with a little smile. “Yeah. Good work.” He looks across the street to Hotch, speaking with the detective. “Do yourself a favor and note that to Hotch. Make sure Gideon hears you.” 

+++

This time, you’re alone with Emily in the conference room, helping her pin and organize the board. 

“Hey,” she says, something like hesitation in her voice. 

You turn. “Yeah?” 

“Did Strauss ever…” She trails off and looks over her shoulder as Hotch, Gideon, and Derek come back in from the Arizona heat. They’re on their way to the conference room. 

“Did she ever what?” 

Emily shakes her head and forces a smile, waving you off. “Nevermind.” 

You’re not sure you get the confused look of your face before your colleagues walk through the door. 

+++

“Where are they?” Hotch watches the monitor, his eyes flickering, searching for Derek and Emily. 

You’re frozen, watching over his shoulder as the woman stabs the unsub, and then herself. Without knowing why, your mind wanders to that question Emily almost asked you the day before. 

This isn’t good. 

+++

The plane ride home is quiet, tense. 

You sit next to Hotch again. There’s not much you can do, but you shoot a text to Haley. 

5:42pm We’re flying back. Should be wheels down in Quantico in about four hours. 

She texts back after a minute. 

5:43pm Thanks. 

There’s something off - you don’t like the look of that period, but you try not to read into it too much. You’re all feeling a little unsettled after that case. 

Your eyes wander across the cabin. 

JJ’s bottom lip is firmly planted between her teeth as she stares out the window. 

Spencer’s sitting across from Gideon with a huge book in his lap, but he’s looking at Gideon more than he’s reading. 

Gideon, for once, doesn’t have his journal in his hand. He, like JJ, stares out the window, his mouth pinched. 

Emily’s eyes are restless, her breathing somewhat irregular. She’s picking at her nails. 

“Emily.” 

She looks up at you, and you tap the back of your hand with a finger. She looks down, finding her thumb and index finger close to bleeding. 

“Thanks.” She looks away from you again. 

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the view out the window was the most captivating sight in history. 

You know better. It’s just clouds. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand. Jenny. 

5:58pm How’s it going? 

You huff a little laugh down your nose. 

5:58pm Rough day. 

Hotch breaks his gaze from the window. “What’s up?” 

“Just Jenny. She’s checking in.” 

He shakes his head and you can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Good day for it.” 

6:01pm If you’re up to it, I’ll be in my office late if you want to swing by and talk about it. 6:02pm I also have booze. 

You look up to find Hotch reading over your shoulder. He backs off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to -” 

“No, it’s fine.” 

“You should go, if she’s offering.” 

You snort. “Should I be job-searching already?” 

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says with a little smile. “Jenny’s seen a lot. She’s a good resource.” 

+++

The Navy yard is quiet as you drive across the campus. The NCIS building isn’t hard to find, but it’s still unfamiliar territory. 

When you park and get cleared for access and up the elevator, most of the lights are off on the Major Case Response floor. There are still agents present, working under the warm light of their desk lamps. 

A team of four takes up the middle of the bullpen, but they barely look up as you pass them and climb the stairs. 

Cynthia isn’t at her desk - gone for the night - and Jenny’s office door is open. She also has her overhead lights turned off, giving her office a cozy, lived-in feel. 

“Hey, you,” she says, looking up with a little smile. “Just got the scuttlebutt on that Arizona case. Definitely not ideal, I hear.”

You shake your head, collapsing into a chair on the other side of her desk. “Not ideal is a good way to put it.” 

She stands and crosses the office, pouring two small glasses of some amber liquid you know is gonna burn like hell. 

You take what she offers and hold in both of your hands, not really interested in drinking it, and follow her to the couch. 

“What happened?” 

You heave a breath. “Got the call - three murders already. Clearly a preferential offender. All the women were students, brunette, similar features. We already had another crime scene by the time we landed. We used the profile, got the guy.” 

Jenny’s brow pinches. “Then?” 

“Copycat. Even came with a note exonerating the suspect we had in custody. We had to let him go without a lead on the second suspect.” 

She sighs and takes a sip of her bourbon. “Been there.” 

“We were surveilling him, waiting for him to do something stupid - we knew he would. The copycat confronted him… She was suicidal. Stabbed him, then herself. We were too late.” 

“Oh, my God.” 

You level her with an exhausted look. “Yeah.” 

“How’s your team?” 

“Tired, mostly.” You offer a humorless laugh. “Maybe in a more existential way than a physical way, not that any of us have slept…” 

The two of you chat into the early hours of the morning. She’s had more than one day like this, in more than one country. 

“It’s days like this that make you question whether you’ve chosen the right line of work.” She looks over at a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower, resting on her bookshelf. “But the good days…”

“They make it worth it, don’t they?” 

The corner of her mouth tips up in a smile. “Yeah. They do.” 

+++

You find a text from Haley when you get back into the car, not realizing you left it in the center console cup holder. 

10:38pm Thanks for getting him home safe. Get some sleep.

+++

When you come in the next morning almost embarrassingly late, Gideon’s office is still dark. 

You’re not even really sure you should be here in the first place, what with the major fuckup hanging over everyone’s heads. The last thing you want to do is go home to your room, back to those four tiny walls and textbooks, even after everything. The bullpen, this team, has become your safety net. 

They should all be here, but there’s only one absence striking you as particularly odd. “Where’s Gideon?” 

Spencer shrugs, spinning half-circles in his desk chair. He looks despondent, staring at the carpet. You don’t see Emily or Derek, but you assume they’re somewhere. 

Weird. 

You set your things down and head up the stairs, knocking twice on Hotch’s door. 

“Yeah?” He looks up and sees you, relaxing a little. 

You take a little breath. “Should I be here today?” 

“Do you want to be here today?” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite place. It almost sounds like insecurity, like he’s worried he’s scared you off. 

Far from it. 

“I do, sir. I want to be here.” You think of Jenny, and hope he can hear more than you can say. “It’s worth it.” 

You think maybe you’re figuring him out a little more. He smiles more often than you’d think, but you have to know what it looks like. This look - the softening of his eyes and the corners of his mouth, the slight crease at the corners of his eye, the threat of a dimple - is just as big a smile for him as Morgan’s human-sunshine smile. 

“Then stick around. I’ll have you work on some mock consults with Reid and Prentiss - you’ll be doing a lot of those in the next few months until you’re ready to take them on by yourself.” 

“I’ll go pick them up from JJ. They’re in her office, right?” 

He nods and you turn to leave, but you’re stopped by the sound of your name before you can get through the door. “Yeah?”

“You’ve performed remarkably well, no matter what happens after this.” 

The side of your mouth twists. “Thank you, sir.”

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse​ @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger​ @ssaic-jareau @davidrossi-ismydad​ @angelsbabey​ @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid​ @captain-christopher-pike​ @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em​ @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @dreila03​ @forgottenword​ @aaronhotchnerr​ @ssa-morgan​ @sana-li​ @tegggeeee​ @abschaffer2​ @ssacandice-ray​ @ellyhotchner​ @lotties-journey-abroad​ @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25​ @mooneylupinblack​ @ssareidbby​ @bwbatta​ @roses-and-grasses​ @capricorngf​ @missdowntonabbey​ @averyhotchner​ @mandylove1000​ @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor​ @spencers-hoodrat​ @popped-weasels​ @evee87​ @nuvoleincielo​ @this-broken-band-girl​ @reidtomestyles​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @winqhster​ @the-falling-in-the-danger​ @iconicc​ @mangoberry43​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @kerrswriting​ @mac99martin​ @itsalwaysb33nyou​ @baumarvel​ @messyhairday-me​ @ssworldofsw​  @deagibs​ @crazyshannonigans​ @moonshinerbynight​ @jhiddles03​ @teamhappyme​ @mendesmelodies​ @starsandasteroids​ @unicorn-bitch​ @ambicaos​ @bispences​

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

[ljandersen]

Do you think Kaidan also went through N training at some point? I've seen fics where he's apparently gone through it, but couldn't find anything in canon about it.

Hi, anon! Ooh, a question. Fun! Thank you for thinking of me.

Do I think Kaidan is N-trained?  In short, no.

There isn't evidence disproving that he's N trained, but there isn’t evidence suggesting he's N trained either. If anything, the lack of any indication he has N training is proof in itself.

For one, none of the characters associated with N training ever include Kaidan as if he’s a member. James goes to Shepard with his N questions. He never mentions or refers to Kaidan's experience. Neither Anderson nor Shepard mention Kaidan being N trained.

It's not mentioned in his background anywhere. It's said he has over a dozen special commendations. He does get involved in special operations, even leading the first Special Operation Biotic Company, but this doesn't require an N designation.  Unless he failed out before qualifying as a N1, it seems like something that would be included in his history.  

In ME1, he specifically says he’s been holding back up to this point in using his biotics offensively.  Jenkins is the first soldier he’s lost to hostile action.  None of these suggest to me someone who’s undergone rigorous N spec ops training, where holding back would probably limit being accepted.  Some N operatives may not have seen someone die due to hostile action, but it’s at least more likely with a N trained operative than a general marine.  It seems like Kaidan is still coming into his own in biotic combat in ME1.

If anything, I wonder if health concerns over his L2 implant may not disqualify him.  N operatives frequently lead high-risk, high-priority missions either independently or in charge of a small groups. The whole mission hinges on that one person. Having a serious pre-existing health condition, especially one triggerable on the field (light, sound, stress, etc.), would be a serious concern. 

 While he may function well on a team or even in a leadership position commanding a unit, I think special forces may rely heavier on single-person performance under high-strain situations.  Conditions on those high risk N missions maybe be more likely to trigger an attack than typical combat.   Alone, disabled, and with the whole mission riding on him achieve a specific task, it could be disastrous.

Even if was accepted to apply, I don't know if he could pass N training with his health condition. If Wiki is correct, it says this about N1 training:

"If this is their first time at the school, trainees participate in scenarios experienced by the elite units of most land-based armies; a typical candidate may be in training more than 20 hours a day, leading small units into combat over hostile terrain with little sleep or food. Trainees who do well are awarded an internal designation of N1 and are invited to return."

While Kaidan is obviously a tough person, who's gone through basic and performs well as a marine on the field, I don't know if he could push himself to operate with 4 hours of sleep a day and hardly any food. My sister has terrible migraines, and she has to careful judge her sleep cycle and the timing of her meals. If she doesn't get enough sleep or oversleeps, she gets a migraine. If she misses a meal, she gets a migraine. 

Obviously, Kaidan would face those issues while on the field as a general marine, but I don't think it would be to the same extent as here.  If on the field in these conditions, a migraine could be dealt with, either supported by his team and medication.  Or, if extreme, by evacuation.  As a N candidate under these conditions, a bad migraine affecting his performance would simply disqualify him.

It also says about higher level N training:

"The highest grade of training, N6, provides actual combat experience in conflict zones throughout the galaxy. From day one, invitees are given basic gear, then separated and stranded on an asteroid with no nav data. The test ends when the last person runs out of oxygen. The first few are out of the program. If the trainee survives these scenarios in "admirable and effective fashion," they finally receive the coveted N7 designation."

I imagine every N operative enters training with the intention of becoming a N7. No one thinks, "Yeah, I'll join, but I only want to be a N4." Everyone is shooting for the top. In that case, if Kaidan wanted to become a N7, that means he'd be stranded alone on an asteroid and rationing oxygen. I think the hypoxia alone could be a huge trigger for a bad migraine.

Overall, I don't think there's any evidence to suggest Kaidan entered N training. Moreover, I suspect he may not qualify due to health concerns. If he did qualify, I don't know if he'd get pass the extreme conditions to get even a N1 designation.

Now that sounds like I'm looking down on Kaidan and what he can do having a migraine condition, but I'm really not. He obviously has found a way to function effectively as a marine. He assures Shepard he won't be a burden on the crew, if Shepard was worried.   He received all those commendations and jumps up the ranks fast.  He obviously functions well and deserves his position as a marine.  But the military is strict with health limitations, and I think N training may be the point where the line is drawn.  It’s just too risky for him and the mission.

I think what opportunities Kaidan lacks due to his L2 implant, he makes up for with his outstanding leadership skills, level-headed resourcefulness, and intuitiveness for politics and tact.  Through ME1, he is frequently dissecting Council and Alliance motivation and power-plays.  He’s open minded, fair, and progressive in the larger picture, long-term goals of the Alliance.  He takes time considering all of the political players involved and giving the benefit of a doubt to aliens in their actions toward humanity.  

To me, he makes an excellent candidate for Spectre for his political saavy in addition to his leadership skills, lack of racial bias, self-accountability, determination, and independent decision making.  He thinks for himself beyond blindly accepting orders.  He is willing to take those convictions to the level of breaking rules and confronting superiors.  Those are important for a Spectre, and his moral self-accountability will ensure he has proper discernment in how he uses his powers.  He obviously has good fighting skills and ability to lead on the field despite his health condition, because he jumps so many Alliance ranks.  He learns to Reave and is teaching other spec op biotics.  He’s very capable both on a political intellectual level and physically with skills and ability.

While he may not, in my opinion, match well with the rigors and high-intensity of N training, he’s an exceptional option for a high leadership positions within the Alliance and for promoting galactic interests as a Spectre.  

Thank you for the ask!!!

#anon ask #Kaidan Alenko #Mass Effect #kaidan alenko meta #n7 training #spectre appointment #anon #Personal opinion #character meta

[writtenjewels]

Boyfriend

Shepard invited him up to his private cabin the moment they stepped back onto the Normandy. Kaidan assumed it was so the commander could see some more “benefits to happiness”, but the man was genuinely interested in putting together the model ship Kaidan bought him. It turned out the commander had several unopened models, some that were saved from when the Normandy was under Cerberus control.

“Why would you buy all of these if you weren't going to put them together?” Kaidan chided him. It was honestly one of Shepard's more endearing quirks. Not that Kaidan needed more proof that Cerberus hadn't changed Shepard, but it was still nice to see this one little piece of the commander was the same.

“I just like models,” Shepard shrugged. Kaidan scanned over the collection. Most of the ships he recognized. He pointed to one of the unfamiliar models.

“What's that one?”

“Oh, that's the Shadow Broker's ship. The old one, before Liara.”

Kaidan picked up the box to get a good look. He tried to imagine the life-size version. “It must have been huge!”

“It was, and we were running on it during a storm, so that made the whole thing more treacherous.”

“Seriously?” Kaidan shook his head. “Actually, I'm not that surprised. Still, when I think of all the things you did and I wasn't there with you...”

“You're here now,” Shepard interrupted him. He slid an arm around Kaidan's shoulder, pressing his face to the crook of the biotic's neck. Kaidan's pulse jumped immediately at the contact. He didn't want to move away but he was still holding the model, so he broke away long enough to put it down. Once his hands were free he reached for Shepard and pulled the commander close again.

He could feel the difference between now and when they were starting something three years ago. Back then he was so afraid of losing control: of his biotics, his emotions. Then there were the rules against fraternization. Now he wasn't going to let anything hold him back. There was nothing he could do about those lost years but he certainly wasn't going to lose any more time. He kissed Shepard and immediately the commander's lips responded to him. A lot of people teased Shepard about his dancing but there was nothing wrong with the way he moved his mouth.

Kaidan slid his hands along the expanse of Shepard's back. The commander's hand brushed his jaw and moved to cup the back of his head. Kaidan shuddered a little feeling fingers in his static-charged hair. He couldn't remember their kisses being like this before. Maybe he wasn't the only one who'd been holding back years ago.

“Screw the models,” Shepard muttered, nudging Kaidan farther into the room. This cabin was so much bigger than the quarters Shepard had back on the old Normandy. That place had barely enough room for a desk and a bed; this one had its own little office area, a large couch and table, an aquarium, and a much larger bed. Perks from Cerberus that the Alliance decided to keep in the retrofit, no doubt.

Eventually they migrated over to the couch. That was what a lot of normal couples did, wasn't it? Make out on couches? It was a small thing but Kaidan liked the idea of some normalcy. Though thinking of Shepard as his boyfriend was a strange concept. He tried to imagine a call to his mother. Hey, Mom, did you see Commander Shepard on the news? Yeah, he's my boyfriend. He let out a snort.

“Something funny?” Shepard wondered.

“Just calling you my boyfriend in my head,” Kaidan told him.

“I can live with that.” Shepard combed through Kaidan's hair. He liked the electricity that Shepard's touch was creating through his body. “So, as my boyfriend, how intimate would you want to be?” Shepard was actually blushing, and Kaidan felt his own face getting hot. It was little wonder: neither of them were exactly experienced in this sort of thing.

“I want...” Kaidan glanced away for a moment to gather his words. “I want all of it, Shepard. I want to fall asleep next to you and wake up beside you; I want your body and your mind. Sex and talks and building all your models. All of it. Every moment I can get.”

“Kaidan.” Shepard looked too overwhelmed to speak. He was now the one momentarily glancing away. When he turned to face Kaidan again his eyes were glittering. “I want to have morning battles for the shower, except for when we share. I want to have my meals with you whenever I can. I want to be by your side in battle, and in bed. All of it. Every moment I can get.”

Kaidan shut his eyes. Boyfriend. Suddenly the word didn't seem funny anymore. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “I can live with that.”

#mshenko #kaidan x shepard #kaidan alenko #commander shepard #mshepard

[aricazorel]

10. An alternate ending to an episode or scene?

Thank you for the ask! Sorry it took me a while to get to it...

This is from a meme about things you might have done differently from a movie/series/video game you like. I can't find the original meme because my timeline ate it but anyway...

This is for Mass Effect 1. Kaidan Alenko x Rebecca Shepard. 2933 words. The scene is the part of the debriefing after the Virmire mission if you choose to save Kaidan. I don't necessarily like the dialogue choices during the debrief or the conversation you can have right after. To me it didn't deal with the consequences of the choice made on Virmire very well, especially if Kaidan and Shepard were together. Here's my version:

"Why me?"

“I can’t believe Ash didn’t make. How could we just leave her down there?” Kaidan said in quiet shock during the debriefing after the Virmire mission. His words giving voice to everyone’s thoughts. While a success, that victory had come with a price. A high price.

“Williams knew the risks going in. She gave her life to save the rest of us,” Commander Rebecca Shepard said evenly, honestly. The Lt. knew what she said was true. They all did, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear.

“Why me?” Alenko pushed, his expression one of incomprehension. Everyone knew the bomb would have gone off regardless of whether he had been saved or not. No one had questions the command decision Shepard had made on Virmire. Everyone knew the stakes and supported the call that had been made, placing no blame on their commanding officer.

“We had to leave her behind. Saren has to be stopped. At anycost,” Shepard explained, pushing aside her own regret and guilt to help her Lt. deal with his own.

“Why not her?” he asked with soulful eyes. The very eyes she had come to know so well. The ones she looked to for reassurance and sometimes guidance. Something she had never done before with anyone, not since becoming an N7. Now they looked for a reason for the outcome of the mission, someone or something to blame.

“There was no time. I couldn’t save you both.” She admitted the awful truth in a quieter tone, knowing full well the rest of the group could still hear her. This wasn’t a conversation they should have in front of others, but he needed something, and she couldn’t deny him that. “I’m sorry, Kaidan. I wish there had been another way. But there wasn’t. You know that.”

“I know. And I am grateful,” Kaidan replied, his expression softening. That did not stop him from stating the exact cause of her own guilt whether it was true or not. “But Ash died because of me. Because of us.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault,” the Commander stated firmly, in her most even command voice. Willing herself, Kaidan, and everyone else in the room to believe it. Hoping simply saying it was enough. “The only one to blame here is Saren.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m—We’ll get it done.” Kaidan resumed his professional demeanor as he swiveled in his chair back to the center of the room. It was typical Alenko behavior and totally appropriate for what they had just gone through. The minor outburst however was not characteristic of the Lt. and she was sure he would insist on forgetting about it later. Maybe even apologize for it. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t unwarranted.

The rest of the debrief proceeded as all the others had except for the somber mood and the empty chair beside Kaidan. Everyone filed out of the room when it concluded except Shepard who walked over to the consoles to update the Council on current events. As she did, the N7 noted Alenko waiting near the door as she punched up the comm channel for the Council. She turned just enough to see his face, his expression stoic. But his whiskey-colored eyes longing for something. What that was she wasn’t sure and until the next part of her job was completed…

She nodded at him even though he appeared to want to say something. She turned from him before he could as the Council appeared before her. Whatever he wanted to say would have to wait. It always had to wait…

~ ~ ~

After the praise and reprimand from the Council, Shepard checked in with Pressley before descending to the crew deck, fully intending to retreat to her quarters. Of course, that had been before she’d seen Kaidan checking over the auxiliary ops panel right beside the door to her quarters. She had suspected for a long time that he checked the panel more than necessary so that he’d have a legitimate excuse to catch her attention and talk to her. Normally she did not mind it. In fact, she enjoyed their impromptu conversations. She enjoyed being around him period but right then…

The Commander paused a few feet from her quarters, staring at the dark colored metal of the doors. She closed her eyes. She could avoid it. Call everything off. No longer acknowledge the growing relationship between himself and the Lt. After Virmire she should but…

The memory of pleading whiskey brown eyes flashed in her mind. Damn it. She couldn’t leave it the way things were. He deserved more. Ash deserved more.

She opened her eyes and walked the few steps required to reach the console…and Kaidan. She stood silently beside it, waiting for him to say something. She didn’t trust herself to start the conversation, waiting to know his state of mind first.

She watched him take a breath and then wipe his brow. He slowly turned towards her as he asked, “Anything you need, Commander?”

His tone was formal, just like it had been at the beginning of their mission. Fine. She could start out that way, though she knew that’s not how this would end. But she needed to be straight with him. For both of them. For Ashley. “I wanted to see how you are dealing with Ash’s death.”

“Dealing…ma’am,” Alenko replied slowly. His tone even, professional still. Maintaining eye contact. All the signs of a good officer. But that wasn’t what she wanted but maybe that’s what he did. “Sorry for anything I said back there. Adrenaline.”

She nodded. She had expected him to apologize, to downplay what had occurred. She doubted anyone else would actually mention it either. Everything was still too fresh but this—the guilt and blame needed to be addressed before anything else happened. Before it adversely affected the mission. Before it came between them…if there was a them. “I understand. I don’t like losing people either.”

“I’ve served for years but never lost a soldier under my command. Not to hostile action anyway,” Alenko admitted. Even though he had not been directly in charge of the mission, he still outranked Ashley. He had survived while a subordinate hadn’t either because of luck or personal relations. Maybe both.

Regardless the personal question the Lt. asked next was not the one she had anticipated. “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you deal with the loses on Elysium?”

It wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. It wasn’t what would help her deal with Ash’s death. Not really, but maybe it would help him. If that was the case, she would indulge his question. “It was my job to get everyone out safe. I failed. I vowed not to let that happen again. Same here. I’ll remember her, and I’ll do better for her.”

“Yeah. I guess that is all we can do. Thanks for the advice, ma’am.” He responded with respect and professionalism. She expected no less from the Lt. she had come to know and rely on. What bothered her was the fact he wasn’t questioning her further about why she had made the call. Sure. What she had said back in the conference room made sense and was true but didn’t he want to know more?

She had come to accept that Kaidan kept his emotions in check partially because he saw it as being professional. But more importantly it helped ensure his biotics remained in check. But would this really cause him to lose control?

When she didn’t move to leave, he asked, “Is there something else, Commander?”

She frowned. “Yes. I thought you might need to talk to me.”

“Isn’t that what we just did?” he asked, his tone almost sounding flippant. Maybe he was trying to lighten the mood, maybe he was trying to act normal. Either way she wasn’t buying it.

“Kaidan, that’s not what I meant,” she said as evenly as possible, dropping rank and protocol. Maybe she needed to confront what had happened more for her benefit instead of his. But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t help him too.

“Then what did you mean, Commander?” the Canadian officer asked as he crossed his arms, his stance becoming silently defensive. His whiskey-colored eyes boring into her, not pleading with her like before.

He had apologized for the outburst. He had accepted her explanation to his questions. He said he understood that it was Saren to blame and not either of them. He had thanked her for sharing how she had coped with Elysium. He remained calm, rational, professional. Yet in that moment that was not what she needed.

Maybe she needed someone to feel the way she did. To question her. To not just accept her decision. To acknowledge that she had lost a friend too…

The great Commander Shepard needed more than just the acknowledgement of her subordinates, a pat on the back from her superiors, the thanks of the masses for doing her duty. Rebecca Shepard needed to know that she hadn’t crossed a line. That she hadn’t sacrificed a good soldier, a friend for selfish reasons. That she wasn’t turning into the monster she was supposed to fight.

Her confidence faltering as her Lt.’s eyes continued to bore into her, she began turning away. “I—Forget it, Kaidan. I—I won’t take up anymore of your time.”

The Commander façade she wore for others, for her own sanity sometimes, was fading quickly. She couldn’t let anyone see the cracks, to chance someone seeing what laid beneath. That she was not what everyone thought she was. She couldn’t let Kaidan see that part of her, not when he might actually blame her for Ash’s death.

Maybe she was to blame. Maybe she had been selfish. Maybe there had been a way to save Ash or a way to save them both. If she had only tried harder, if she had been quicker, smarter, more determined—

“Commander?” Alenko’s voice called out to her as she faced the door to her cabin. Was that concern she heard?

It didn’t matter. She was responsible for those under her command, and she’d just lost one more. A friend, and she wasn’t sure if it had been because of her personal relationship with a subordinate.

“I—I should leave you to—I have reports to file—I—”

“Rebecca.”

Her name. Her given name. The utterance of it was like a slap in the face. She wasn’t Rebecca to anyone on the Normandy. She was the Commander or Shepard. Only one person had called her that…

Her head turned of its own volition to the source of the voice. Whiskey brown eyes no longer bored into her. Instead, they studied her with concern and worry. She shook her head. “I can’t.”

She rushed into her quarters without further explanation. As the doors shut behind her, she stood in the middle of her room. The emotions from the Virmire mission breaking through the carefully constructed barriers she had erected. Very few times since becoming an N7 had she had those walls break but this time…This time was different. She was solely in charge of the mission, her own crew, her friends, her enemy. If Saren won, if she allowed the loses Saren inflicted on them to wear her down then it would all be for nothing.

Ash’s death would be for nothing. But did she have to die? Had it been a needed sacrifice? Was it the right choice? Was choosing who lived and died ever a right choice? He was right to blame her. It was all on her. She was the Commander. That’s all she was—

“Rebecca,” an all too familiar voice called from behind her as the doors to her cabin hissed shut.

She closed her eyes. He wasn’t supposed to be there. It was her fault. He blamed her.

“Rebecca, talk to me.”

“No.” How had he gotten in? Had he actually used the door code she’d given him? It would have been the first time then…

“Please talk to me. I’m—”

Shepard turned around, glaring at him. “How can you want to talk to me? I’m responsible for what happened! For what—For what happened to Ash! I—”

“That’s not what you said in the briefing,” Alenko said, taking a step towards her. He stood with his arms spread wide, showing he was not a threat. “You said Saren was to blame.”

“Of course I did!,” she all but screamed. “The bastard is responsible but so am I! I’m the one in command. I made the command decision that killed Ash!”

“The Geth killed Ash not you,” Alenko corrected as he bridged the remaining space between them. “Ashley would not want you to do this to yourself.”

“What does it matter? She’s gone, and she’d not coming back. What difference does it make? Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you! Because you aren’t to blame! Because you aren’t alone!” he said loudly, nearly nose to nose with her.

Shepard didn’t flinch. Instead, she stared blankly at him, saying barely above a whisper, “I’m always alone. I have to be…”

Strong arms suddenly grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace. A hand cradled her head as the other rested securely around her waist. A quiet voice murmured into her ear, “You are not alone. Not anymore.”

She wanted to protest, to tell him he was wrong, to order him to leave but no words came out. Instead, she went limp against him, relying totally on his strength for support. Kaidan accepted her dead weight without complaint as she began crying, her sobs muffled by his shoulder.

As Alenko held onto her tighter, he said with raw emotion, “You aren’t to blame. You were right. Saren is responsible. Ash knew what could happen. We all did. She went out the way she wanted to. With honor. Saving those she served with. Saving those she called friend…We didn’t kill her.”

Shepard threw her arms around Alenko as he sunk to the floor with her, both resting on their knees as she shook her head. “I tried…I tried to think of something. Anything. I didn’t want her to die…I—”

“I know, Rebecca. I believe you,” the Lt. soothed as he ran his hand through her red hair. “She trusted you to make the right call and you did. Remember? She said she didn’t regret a thing. You can’t either.”

She pulled at the back of his shirt as she fisted the material. “How can you believe that? I’m the Commander and she died on my watch.”

Kaidan pulled back just enough to see her face. He smiled down at her tenderly. “Because I know that you are more than the Commander. I know that you are human just like the rest of us. And I know you feel her death just like the rest of us.”

“But why—”

“Because I know the woman behind the Commander,” he said gently as he cupped her cheek. “I know Rebecca.”

“Kaidan,” was all the N7 could say as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. He didn’t blame her after all. He understood what she was going through. He didn’t see her as just a soldier or commander or CO. He recognized that she was human too. That she felt the weight of every decision she made and its consequences—good or bad.

“I’m right here, Rebecca,” he soothed as he moved them to sit on the deck plates. “And I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

She held onto his shirt tightly, refusing to give up her anchor. She knew he would stay. He would always do the right thing, say the right thing, be the good man that he was. He wouldn’t judge her because of the actions of another. He understood both the burden of command and the human emotions beneath.

He understood her.

Drawing strength from Kaidan, she knew nothing could bring Ashely back. At the same time a part of her recognized that the words he had repeated back to her were also true. Neither of them was to blame and if she had made a different decision more people may have perished.

They would do better next time. They would do better for Ash. They would end Saren, and she would make sure the galaxy knew a Williams had made that victory possible. Ashley did not die in vain. She was a hero and a friend.

And for those reasons, Rebecca Shepard would continue to fight the good fight with the continued support of those she had come to call more than comrades in arms. Those that she called friends.

Why me he had asked. But it wasn’t just a question he asked in that the one instance. It was a question she asked herself every day. Even with the knowledge that Kaidan knew the real Shepard and that Ashely both knew and accepted her fate, the question remained.

Why me?

And the answer was always the same.

Because she was the only who could. But this time it would be with the knowledge she had people who believed in her not just because she was bound by duty.

Kaidan believed in her.

Ash had believed in her.

Why me?

Because she wanted to, she had a personal stake in it now. Not just because she could.

Why me?

Because she chose to. To honor those lost. To honor Ash.

#ask game #mass effect #kaidan alenko #rebecca shepard #kaidan alenko x femshep

[baejax-the-great]

First Line Game

I was tagged by @hollyand-writes​. Thank you! This one looks fun.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

I’m going to put most of these under the cut, but I’ll put my favorites up top =)

The Coolness of Your Shadow: The first time Bethany met Alistair, there was grass in his hair.

Red: It started with an itch.

Wager: “Admit it,” Hawke said, “You think he’s sexy.”

Lighthouse: Even with artificial lights meant to simulate days and nights, and even with Margo having full control over when this happened, she still found herself waking up earlier and earlier in what she generously referred to as “morning.”

A Hawke’s Breakfast: Hawke woke up on the floor in a sort of heap.

The Edge of Sadness: Alistair had not chosen to be born. 

The rest are just chronological =)

The Depth of Fear: “Corypheus is my responsibility,” Hawke had said to the Inquisitor not five minutes ago. Ten minutes? Half an hour? Maker, she couldn’t be sure, except that she’d said it, and now, some number of minutes later, she knew she’d been entirely mistaken.

A Rumor: “Inquisitor!” Josephine waved exuberantly from her seat in the back of the tavern.

Nephew: “He’s a bit small for royalty,” Hawke said, eyeing the little princeling.

Like a Lead Balloon: “This will break him.”

The Silence of Your Deep: Bethany couldn’t be bothered to change out of her Warden uniform for dinner. She would be Bethany the Warden tonight rather than Bethany the sort-of-almost Queen, and the ambassador from Nevarra could simply accept that.

Merry and Bright: Bethany did not like chemistry. It was a complete embarrassment. Her father was a PhD in chemistry, a respected professor, and Bethany could barely remember the chemical nomenclature for table salt. She should have majored in literature or history or dance or something, but foolishly, she had decided on being a doctor, which meant biology, and biology required the basics of chemistry, and chemistry was impossible.

Serenity: “Merrill is sick. Went down to see her earlier. Something is going around the whole alienage.”

Snowflakes: Hawke wasn’t entirely certain how she ended up on the ground. Last she remembered, her feet were firmly beneath her, and she was on her way to a sneak attack on some very well-equipped and unsuspecting bandits.

The Mountain: “So… The mountain.” Aloy stood just outside the entrance where she had once watched Varl charge a thunderjaw. “You ready?”

Shelter Me: Usually the first fluffy white snowflakes of the season filled Lace with cheer.

Top Ten: Shepard limped into her cabin, the painkillers Chakwas gave her already wearing off. The doctor could heal a broken bone in ten minutes, but the ache lasted.

Deep: “A penny for your thoughts, my dear?”

First Contact: Shepard rubbed her eyes and tried to remember why she even came to the crew deck. It wasn’t that she particularly disliked her crew, but when it came down to it, they were Cerberus.

Smutty Literature: “Bethany, sweetheart, I was reading one of your books—”

Interestingly, it looks like I frequently start my fics with dialogue, but almost none of my favorite first lines are dialogue. HMM.

TEOS in particular makes me laugh, because it just sets the tone for Alistair for the entire fic-- very begrudgingly and miserably accepting his lot. Red is just sinister, given the topic, TCoYS is cute, and Wager is silly.

I would also note that every single one of my opening lines is character-centric. I don’t spend any time at all setting the scene, but rather the mood/goals of the character. That’s pretty much all of my writing, though. As a young girl I read Tolkien describing forests for 18 pages and thought, “never again.” But I really admire people who can get me interested in settings and make me feel like I’m there. That is a truly beautiful talent.

Tagging forward @midnightprelude @luzial @noire-pandora @juliafied @pedlimwen @rpgwrites @swaps55 @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold @wizardofozymandias @hezjena2023 @hermiowngranger

#writing meme #tag games

[ratsoh-writes]

Favorite pets for the main 5 bros?

This one was really easy so I’ll just do all of them! You’re welcome!

Sans: his pet rock obviously. If he didn’t have rocky, he would probably like some reptile like tortoise or a chameleon. Something slow and dry (so no turtles only tortoises)

Papyrus: he doesn’t care too much about animals, but if he ever had a pet, it would probably be something smart and energetic like a dog! A collie would be his preferred breed

Star: he’s definitely a dog person. He likes the tough looking breeds like Doberman pinchers and German Shepards. He’s already used to handling them working with the police force.

Honey: he would like something small cuddly. But not too small, he doesn’t want to loose it. I could see honey with a chinchilla or a bunny.

Red: both him and edge are cat people. I mean, doomfanger is the sweetest cat ever, how can you not love her. Red likes the big fluffy cats like Maine coons. Especially if they sit on his shoulders. He’ll proudly wear them like a scarf

Edge: cats duh. I know it’s stereotypical but it just fits him perfectly. He already has a cat named doomfanger (who’s a very pretty kitty btw). If he got another one, he’d prefer a talkative breed like rag doll or Siamese

Mal: he likes fish and already has a whole tank of them. They’re freshwater fish, and his favorite is a little eel named Doris. He would love to have a koi pond someday

Cash: he would like a small friendly animal he could just carry around. I could see him with pet rats. He would probably teach them tricks too, like bring me that pencil kind of tricks. (Rats are awesome pets)(I plan on getting some when I move)

Oak: he loves all animals and all animals love him. It’s just one of the natural laws of the universe. That being said, oak doesn’t have any preference but he does own like 23 chickens (and a chihuahua but she technically belongs to willow)

Willow: he just wants a nice companion, something cuddly and smart. Any small dog works. He already has a chihuahua named chaos too, although she’s a bit crazy

Lord: he would prefer something quiet but cool looking. Like a snake. He loves the patterns they can come with, and scaring people is a nice bonus

Mutt: he’s the guy who feeds the pigeons every morning and gains an army. He actually already has one that he gained injured, took care of, and decided to keep it anyways because it’s a stupid bird. The pigeons name is kfc, and it hates eveyone except for him.

Wine: he thinks birds are real pretty, especially white doves. If he ever had the time, he would get a pair.

Coffee: like cash, he would like a small animal he could just carry around in his pocket. Rats and hamsters are his go to. If he ever did get a hamster, it would be one of the bigger teddy bear ones. The miniatures are too hyper

Charm: he would love a small goofy dog like a dachshund or a Boston terrier. He just thinks they’re neat

Sugar: he loves tropical birds like parrots. Any bird that can learn to talk is just so cool to him

Pop: he’s another tortoise fan. He would like a really big one and would totally walk it like a dog just to annoy his brother.

Rythm: he’s too busy for a pet and doesn’t really care about animals all that much.

Pluto: like mal, he loves fish and he already has a tank of tropical fish. His favorite is his pufferfish. His tank is huge and has about 30 fish total

Jupiter: another dog guy. He would also prefer an entergetic breed. He likes hounds so a foxhound would be nice.

Peaches: animals are more of ranchers thing since peaches takes care of the orchid. He does have a family of raccoons that he feeds behind ranchers back though

Rancher: he loves animals and is in charge of all the ones on the farm. He has 12 dairy cows, 15 goats, 6 pigs, 1 horse, like 30 chickens, 15 turkeys and two lamas. He takes care of them all by himself and his cows are his pride and joy. His favorite one, the tank named by peaches because it’s a fat f*cker, has won several awards

Snipe: he loves cats and is always fostering kittens he finds on the street, he never keeps them though. His job is dangerous and he’s scared of getting dusted one day and not coming back. The kittens usually find a home after a few weeks, snipe has a lot of connections

Bruiser: he likes bunnies. He just loves the way their noses twitch and thinks they’re the cutest creatures on the planet. He would never let himself get one though.

#undertale headcanons #undertale imagines #undertale #underswap #underfell #swapfell #horrortale #fellswap red #fellswap gold #underlust #dancetale #outertale #farmtale #mafiatale

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Five

Chapter Five: All My Memories Gather 'Round Her

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

He ruffled her hair.

Again.

It was a mistake letting her hair grow back out, now clocking back in at impressive two inches Jane was growing used to the platinum blonde locks. Sure, there were some off-handed comments, but a stern attitude dissuaded most of the direct jokes. Well, for most, it did. Roy was always an exception when it came to her.

Annoying geezer.

But was it a sense of direction or trust that guided her to follow through his every command? It was true Jane had been wary at first- she had seen first hand what the power of being made a defacto leader could do to someone. Abuse, rape, and murder. Here, at least for the time being, Roy kept his head. Even begrudged the position. Not that he shared it pubically, only mentioning it in passing to her, but she understood the burden all the same. Jane had lived it: rejected it. It was a strange sense of comfort to follow, better that the man leading was becoming a dear...

She couldn't; she had to reject that notion.

"I know you're there."

The whir of the door a dead giveaway when it came to being followed. Jane's hypervigilance had only increased with her time spent outside active combat. Sure, she still found herself battling at least on a biweekly routine, but it was nothing compared to her time on the Normandy. That person spent more time in cover than under covers.

The mousy-haired girl stared up at her, brown eyes hard and unyielding. Hell, this kid was scary.

"Do you need something, Evelyn?"

The girl harrumphed, "what are you doing?"

Leave it to the lady carrying a dying plant around to be the most suspicious thing going on in the compound, "Spectre business."

Evelyn's, not Eva's, glare worsened. Her cheeks and nostrils flaring.

"What are you doing?" Jane replied in the same smarmy tone.

"My job," she returned matter-of-factly, "even if I don't like it, and even if Papa says you are sick."

"What, are you like, three? You don't have a job."

"Seven. And yes I do! Pater gave me one," the kid smirked, sticking out her tongue.

"And what's that? Being precocious?"

"Pre- what?" Evelyn stammered.

"Being a shit," the swear already escaped before it could be altered. Thus, reinstating the belief that children did not belong around her in any capacity.

Her furrowed brow gave way to a secretive smile, "Pater said someone needed to watch you. Seems stupid, but Papa said we all have to do things we don't want to right now."

Of course, Roy would.

"You're weird," the girl stated plainly, "your face is kinda glowy, and you spend a lot of time with those aliens."

Back on Earth, it wasn't hard to forget that First Contact was a meer thirty years ago. Not that it was blame for their attitudes, but most of the humans had a hard time trusting the aliens. It was only made worse when the squadron of Turians joined them, piling them on top of the loud and aggressive Krogan; most of the natives were uncomfortable. Already the Turians and Krogan had old beefs to settle, and the dash of human fear for the Turian species quickly started a lopsided triangle. At least the Krogan adage of 'seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend' came to the humans and krogan developing a tenuous alliance.

"Those aliens are nothing to be afraid of," Jane chided gently.

The kid neither gave up nor responded, instead following the woman through the hall and into the open atrium. The place had boomed in population, the mall teeming with signs of life that would have echoed its days before the war. Voices, distant music, and the general clatter of movement greeting them from outside the confines of the sealed hallways. Once Jane could walk through here without watching a step, now she dodged other people, weaving through the crowd with ease and speed intended to dislodge her charge.

Evelyn was spry, knocking into the lady as she unexpectedly stopped. She peeked around her, watching as the red Krogan started to cheer loudly. Another alien, smaller and with a grey carapace charged at his elder, the two rather than colliding ended the charge with a weird arm hold. For a moment, the two crests rested against each other, sharing a few soft and private words.

Even weirder was The Recruit, looking over the scene sadly, a hand held over her heart. Her jaw flexed, another sharp and illuminated line flaring vertically up her cheek—another note to add to the log.

"They look so mean," Evelyn complained, unsure why Jane would be watching this sadly. It was frightening, to her they were great brutes that usually ended up destroying something.

"They really aren't," Jane countered softly, a slight crack in her voice, "if one gives you an attitude, a head butt will set them straight."

She did like that this grown-up did not treat her like a child, unlike the rest.

Both of them tensed at the appearance of a green-shelled krogan; the arrival of the male ended the short embrace between the red and grey one. Then, as usual, the aliens returned to their fierce and violent natures, turning the greeting into a shoving contest.

"Don't fu-," the adult caught herself this time, "leave him alone. He's trouble."

Jane strode forwards, picking up her pace. It was no longer weaving through the crowd, as so much a straight charge across the atrium and to the access corridor that leads to the western parking lot- deciding they wanted to stay out of the way for practicality and ease. The Turians chose to take up the ramp as their headquarters. And this is where Jane headed for her errand.

Yeah, make me, make friendly with the Turians. Screw that they respect the chain of command more than a friendly face, all arguments Jane had tried in vain against the LT to get out of this assignment,  watch me fuck this up over a plant. Jeez, why not let them grow their own garden? Fuck if I know what I am doing.

But he did have one counterargument that made complete sense and was entirely of her own fault. She was the known member of the humans in residence to have any formal diplomatic training. She was still kicking herself for that slip of knowledge.

"You should head back home," she murmured to her back, "boring adult stuff. You won't miss much."

The baggy military rags were not enough protection from the spring chill, but she would press on. Clipping up the three-story climb to reach the perched Turians. The 'outpost' could overlook the entire mall with well-placed postings, which the military-minded turians had already accomplished within hours of selecting this area as a base of operations. The forward guard used to seeing the Recruit hardly blinked, only balking in their subtle way at the package tucked into her arms.

"Recruit," the LT wasn't the only one called by their moniker, the pinkish hued Turian gave something equivalent to a grin eyes wandering down to the plant the human carried, "another issue?"

Jane pushed the plant on the turian, "pretty much. I don't know shit about these plants."

"I grew herbs in my kitchen, I'd guess too much sunlight?"

"Makes as much sense as anything else. We've learned they can't be next to potatoes, now they hate the sun," Jane glanced down at her arms, "and I forgot to wear gloves. That's disappointing- I had plans for those hands tonight."

Silva's mandible vibrated, "there are other ways to relieve tension."

So begun the dance. It always started clean, water running over her arms, a quick quip about the luxury of running water, and the application of ointment. The all too gentle rub of talons across the top of her knuckles, a lingering glance Jane couldn't quite bring herself to notice, and finally a cocky declaration of future victory.

The Commander enjoyed the relaxed regulations of the Turian military, not that Alliance would have ever forbidden forbidden a friendly sparring match it felt much better to let off some steam without fear of repercussion. One didn't have to play nice. Fringe pulling, blows below the belt, untamed aggression was all too welcome in the turian fighting cage. While today wasn't a dirty fight day, Jane was all too eager to move.

Silva made the first jab, and the Recruit absorbed it with a smile.

"The LT is going to have my head one of these days," the Turian went in for the next blow, this time the human dodged, "I'm even going soft on you."

"Come on, Shepard," Garrus mocked, weaving below her fist, "stop dancing around."

Roy didn't appreciate the fighting, even after learning they were all in good sport. The punishment of latrine duty was now part of her chores, for how much she heeded his grumbling. He blamed the bruises for too many things- headaches, sideways glances, the lack of respect she commanded for herself. Why did he care? She never asked, never expected it. But he never told her to stop, so she wouldn't.

"I can't always make it take easy on you, Vakarian," Mary retorted, sweeping out her leg to purchase at a braced turian.

The female turian's claws grasped into her arm, but she was ready, twirling around and planting her elbow into a painfully rigid chin sending the offender reeling back a couple of steps, "that's one advantage of an exoskeleton."

"Or are we afraid to bruise our pretty face in case the Major struts on by," Garrus teased, barely inching past the biotically charged fist going for his scarred mandible, "unless he doesn't know about our little fight club?"

"At least I can roll."

"I wouldn't worry, Shepard," if the Turian were human, his eyebrow would be cocked and a flashy grin across his face, "it's so much better when they are angry."

The turian cackled; today the hits were much easier to connect. Or was the human not trying? She could be like that, destructive. Silva kept the hits low and softened the severity in which she delivered them. Jane struggled to keep her hands where they belonged, one threading and rubbing through her hair each time they disconnected to reset their stances.

"Like I care what the M-" her friend's stern glare shut her down, "don't jealous Gar-Gar."

Jane tumbled to the ground, nose trickling the strange red color. It was time for this fight to be over, the human shook underneath her grasp. But the too expressive species wore a brave face, "Jane."

"Two hundred years later, and still nobody talks about fight club," Mary after close inspection, did notice that the Major strutted, "I'm disappointed I wasn't invited." The handsome human specimen winked at the Commander, his sideways grin all-knowing.

"It's fine, probably enough for the day."

The female moved out of her grasp, turning around to wipe at her face. Silva pretended not to notice Jane went for her eyes first.

"Well, that was quick," the turian was a little disappointed, "you're different for a human."

Jane deaned to turn her head back for that comment, cocking an eyebrow at her, "you must not have left Palaven, or whatever your colony was, much."

"No, ma'am," the turian hesitated, "at least, the rest of your group doesn't seem interested in us."

"How would you feel if this was Palaven?"

Her mandibles vibrated.

"Now add your species being attacked thirty years ago by this species you suddenly have to get along with," Jane smiled softly, she was too harsh, "plus we're a bunch of cranky jerks."

Silva laughed deeply, "and add a war that has crippled an entire galaxy, it is a wonder we aren't all fighting."

"It's the krogan," Jane mused.

"Spirits bless, the krogans being the most level-headed."

"After Tuchanka, they probably feel at home," damn her words, "it was the Salarians all along."

"I mean, that's some deep level conspiracy, but it checks out," her companion tried to keep up the fading mood.

"Just give us some time; we're people of action only that really means something," to which race the words were meant for was moot.

#shenko #fshenko #mass effect fancition #mass effect #female shepard x kaidan #fanfic #mass effect spoilers #take me home

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 1 replay, grounded on the Citadel:

-Udina straight up lies to get you back to the Citadel. Massing a fleet to deal with Saren and the geth, indeed.

-Why is everyone talking about Saren attacking the Citadel? I don’t recall that being established as his goal.

Saren’s been pursing the conduit. The conduit is likely a weapon. When did attacking the Citadel get added?

-Valern even says the conduit is a distraction from Saren’s real plan to attack the Citadel. Where did this attack come from???

-Udina doesn’t want to ground you. He keeps trying to talk you down. He only grounds you when it becomes clear you won’t drop it.

-At least the Council’s consistent: They do not want to start a war with the Terminus Systems.

-Once again, the exact nature of spectres eludes me.

The Council does not revoke Shepard’s status. However, they clearly communicate to Udina that they want him to do something about Shepard. So much for Shepard only answering to the Council.

Udina locks Shepard out of the Normandy. I suppose he can do this because it’s an Alliance ship they’re letting Shepard borrow?

Why do I suspect a turian/asari/salarian spectre would be treated differently?

-On the Normandy, Kaidan says to Shepard that they work for the Alliance, not the Council.

I suppose he’s referring to the crew here? Shepard’s still a spectre, they work for the Council.

What he’s getting at is that the crew can ignore the Council, but the Alliance and the Council are in agreement for once so that goes nowhere.

-For all the (justifiable) flack Kaidan gets about ninja romancing, he emphasizes repeatedly through this conversation that’s he’s leaving Shepard a way out. And indeed, you can cut off the romance here. Or at least this particular romance scene.

-The Terra Firma sidequest is very realistic. Especially with everything going on now, I have no problems believing that such a political party would exist.

-If you choose the neutral “I can’t support you”, Shepard says they’re an active duty officer.

-For Elias Keeler, if you go the neutral option and offer to get him his fix you can buy the stimulant and/or a depressant.

Giving him the stimulant is the paragon option, but rewards no paragon points.

Giving him the depressant is the renegade option, and gives you renegade points.

-It’s interesting that these final two Citadel quests, after Shepard has been denied by the Council, have the theme of humanity vs aliens.

Terra Firma opposes all alien involvement in human affairs.

Elias Keeler believes that aliens (i.e., the salarian negotiators) have to be shown whose in charge. He distrusts his assistant because he believes in playing ball with them.

Where does Shepard believe humanity’s place is in this multi species galaxy?

-When speaking to Anderson, Shepard mentions that they’ve lost the only ship that can get them into the Terminus undetected.

Oh, so now they remember that the Normandy’s a stealth ship.

-If you have Anderson break into the C-Sec terminal, he knocks out a turian guard by butting their heads together.

Yeah, I’m skeptical on that one. Turians have natural armor, especially on their face.

-The Udina option is much safer. Why doesn’t Anderson recommend this to start with?

-Back on the Normandy, everyone has new dialogue – even minor NPCs, like Pressly and Chakwas.

Except Kaidan, for some reason.

-Garrus: I just hope we can catch Saren before they realize we’re missing.

Babe, I’m pretty sure they noticed the Normandy leaving. That ship, if you’ll forgive the pun, has sailed.

Edit: Fix spellings

#mass effect #mass effect 1 #mass effect 1 replay

[maxrev]

Feels prompt for Knox (or a Shepard of your choice if he's not feeling talky): “ you’re not a machine or— or some thing. you’re a person, and i’m sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise."

Welp, guess Knox felt like talking lol. Here ya go! From this list of prompts      

BIG shout out to @nightmarestudio606 for helping me with the kiss...I haven’t written one in sooo looong lol

            ________________________________________________

What the hell was he doing? He never ran. From anything. Hadn’t since he was four fucking years old. And now, at thirty one, he held many titles: Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy, etc, etc. He’d taken down husks, brutes...hell, even a reaper without a second thought. 

So, why did this particular man have him running for cover, hiding in his own damn cabin no less? Fuck this. 

And yet, he remained where he was, a few steps just inside his cabin door, looking all around but not seeing a thing. The fish tank burbled quietly beside him, fish merrily swimming around; model ships he’d carefully crafted on display in the glass case; a softly squeaking wheel from the hampster - who still wasn’t named - running in circles. All of it a part of his carefully crafted world, even if the fish and hampster had been gifts he’d never have bought on his own. Pets required time and attention he had none to give. 

His world was orderly, meticulously thought out to every minute detail, any possible contingency planned for. Except one apparently. 

Major Kaidan Alenko. Putain de merde.

If was wearing his hardsuit, his vital signs would show his heart rate was up along with his stress levels. As if mocking him, the fish continued to swim, serene and unhurried from one end of the tank and back, not a care in the world. 

“Commander, Major Alenko wishes to speak with you. Would you like me to let him in?” EDI’s voice carried over the speakers above him. 

His cabin. His only sanctuary, such as it was. As the commander, he was available at all times, yet no one ever bothered him here, preferring to stay well away. It seemed there was nowhere left to run. Cornered like a wounded animal and he damn sure felt like one, too. Ready to lash out. Cool heads prevailed, not that he’d ever been accused of having one. The memories of Horizon and Mars mocked him. 

The major was a brilliant soldier and he needed him on the Normandy. He ran a hand over his shorn head in agitation. Okay, okay. I need him on the Normandy. Admitting it turned out to be not as hard as he’d imagined. 

“Commander?”  EDI prodded. 

“Give me five minutes.”  Let the major wait outside, stew a bit in his own thoughts. 

Glancing around the cabin, Knox wondered why he was so damn nervous. Nothing was out of place, all his things meticulously maintained and where they belonged. The only mess to be found were the piles of datapads scattered over the desk. He was having a hard time keeping on top of them. The barrage of information was constant, barely able to read one before another was thrust into his hands. 

Enough. No more stalling. Leaning casually against the ledge along the fish tank, he crossed his arms and ankles. He could give the impression of being relaxed, even if he didn’t feel it. 

“Let him in, EDI.” 

The door slid open. The world narrowed to just one man and his nostrils flared as he took a deep breath and pushed away a sudden unknown emotion he felt as his eyes landed on Alenko standing on the other side. He waited for the major to make the first move having invaded his refuge.

Stepping inside, the major nodded at Knox, “Commander.” 

So formal. It should put Knox at ease but instead it irritated him. Irrationally so. Wanting to shake the ground beneath Alenko’s feet, he said, “Call me Knox.” 

Thick dark eyebrows rose up in response, surprised. Good. Knox felt more at ease with the knowledge.

“Okay...Knox,” Kaidan drew out the one syllable as if trying out the feel of it. “Then I ask that you call me Kaidan.” 

Knox simply continued to stare at him, not responding. The silence stretched out and his impatience began to grown. He did not like to be kept waiting. 

“Was there something you needed?” His words came out harsher than intended but if it prompted a response, so be it. 

Brown eyes, wariness in their depths, looked away, the tips of Kaidan’s ears becoming pink. Interesting. He rubbed the back of his neck, a tell Knox had seen often when he was unsure about something or embarrassed. Which was it this time? 

“I…” he took a deep breath, then turned an looked Knox right in the eyes, “I wanted to apologize for my distrust back on Mars, for questioning your loyalties. I realize now you’re the commander I’ve known since Eden Prime and I’m happy to fight by your side...sir.” 

Straightening up, Knox strode over slowly, coming to a stop before him, crowding his space. The air around them was charged with electricity. He spoke quietly, calmly, but with steel in his voice, “Only now?”

Kaidan didn’t look away this time. The intensity in his gaze made Knox’s blood heat. There was more going on here than what one could see on the surface. 

“What is it exactly you want from me?” 

Merde! What a loaded question he was asking. Deciding he needed a drink, Knox turned towards his desk where he kept a bottle of whiskey. He splashed some of the amber liquid into a glass, uncaring when it slosed over the side. Maybe the burn as it went down would put him back on solid ground. The ground he’d tried to shake beneath Kaidan’s feet had backfired. This was new territory for him. 

He tossed the whiskey back, turning to hold up his empty glass, "Drink?"   

Kaidan hesitated for a few seconds, then nodded. Knox poured another for himself, then handed the other glass over. The major sipped sparingly, eyes widening a fraction in surprise. 

Knox shrugged, "I liked the whiskey you added to the bar. Bought some for myself."

An inadvertent admission. He wandered over to watch the fish, lest Kaidan read more into it. Silence followed his words and he turned to find the major browsing the datapads. Knox bristled at the invasion of his privacy, ready to let fly with harsh words and criticism but his inner voice caught up to him and told him to stop. 

There was nothing more than intel about the war and the crucible and maybe Kaidan would be able to provide some insight, see things from a different angle...as he usually did.

Instead, Knox kept quiet and observed him, refusing to admit to himself he was actually committing to memory every nuance of the man across the room. Suddenly, Kaidan’s body tensed up, fingers coming to rest on one specific datapad. Having so many open, Knox couldn’t remember what intel was in each one and now he was curious at the reason for the strange response. 

"Find something?" 

Kaidan’s hand snapped to his side as if caught in a trap. Placing the unfinished drink on the desk, he turned to leave with an excuse at the ready, "I should go get acquainted with the crew." 

Knox moved quickly, stepping in front of him, so close he could see the variations of color in the expressive brown eyes. His own eyes traveled at leisure over Kaidan’s face; new scars blending with old ones, a few more wrinkles and gray hairs from the passage of time and the stress they were under...a tinge of pink on his cheeks. 

Their eyes locked. For the first time ever, Knox found himself lost. Unable to process the feeling, he did what came natural. He charged ahead. 

The world around them ceased to exist, narrowing down to just the two of them, Kaidan’s breath hitching for a fraction of second before relaxing into the kiss, opening eagerly as Knox slid his tongue inside. Pressing up against him, their feet  tangled and they stumbled across the room, Kaidan’s back stopping them up against the fish tank. Knox planted his palms to each side while Kaidan grasped at his clothing. 

They sank into the kiss, neither willing to be the first to let it end. But end it did, Knox pulling away first. What the fuck was he thinking, kissing a member of his crew? There wasn’t time for personal relationships, death on the horizon or not. Things like this just got messy and caused more problems than he needed right now. Either of them needed. 

He walked back to the desk, leaving Kaidan where he was. How he felt about what happened was of no concern to him. Leaning into his arms, hands pushing the datapads aside, one blinked to life. The one Kaidan had been looking at. On the screen was the Cerberus husk they’d found on Mars where Kaidan had questioned if the terrorist organization had done the same to him. 

Behind him, the door slid open and he heard footsteps as Kaidan left his cabin. 

His voice, raspy and deep with the remnants of their kiss lingering still, floated back to him, “You’re not a machine or— or some thing. You’re a person, Knox, and i’m sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise, including me." 

#mshenko #mass effect #prompts #writing #maxwrites #ask and I deliver #who boy this kept going #Knox x Kaidan #laelior

[princesspiratecat]

The Rise and Fall of the Shepard Family Part 2: Summer 1080 & Fall, 1081

This story weaves between three households: The Shepards, The Allards and the Baxters

One rainy Summer morning, Llywelyn went to tend to his sheep when a sudden burst of hail began to enter the atmosphere. Before he could run to shelter, several particularly large pieces of ice hit him in the head and killed him instantly. There was nothing anyone could do for him, his time on earth was over. 

The Squire, Marcelle Allard, was a good friend of Llywelyn’s and had been at his residence when he died. He took control of a chaotic scene and had the grief-stricken girls pack up their bags and ride home with him. Had Gwendolyn and Gwyn been alone, he would have considered leaving them there and things would have turned out very differently. But the youngest, Edith, was at such a tender young age that he knew she needed to be properly looked after by the best mother he could think of- his wife. So that evening after all the children had retired to their chambers, he took counsel with her.

He expected her to protest about having the sudden responsibility of three young charges, but she did nothing of the sort. In fact, she was happy to have playmates for her children of a “suitable” background. 

“Suitable, my dear? Llywelyn was a mere Shepard.”

“Yes, yes. But prior to his coming here, he was a very well respected soldier and fought for the the prince, Gruffudd ap Cynan. It is said he was quite skilled in battle until he was injured. For my part, I’d much rather the children associate with a family that has the means to take up arms and serve their Lord and King, rather than actual peasants, such as the Merchants are. No matter what sins I have committed, I do not think I should be punished so by being forced to make a lasting connection to that family.”

Aélgarda’s snobbery had a tendency to show itself from time to time, especially when it came to the associations of her children. However, it always caught Marcelle off guard, especially because he never considered her a woman of many opinions. Indeed, one of the reasons why he suspected his marriage had been so blissful was because she let him make ninety percent of the decisions- except when it came to their children. There, she would take a stand and he did not care to stand in her way.

She continued, “With a little guidance and patience, perhaps we can make Ladies of the Shepard girls. They are all well enough looking. And the eldest in particular will soon be bestowed with something that will make her more attractive.” The thought amused her.

Marcelle almost spit out his wine at the mention of that idea, but the more he considered it, the more he could see the advantages of such a match. After all, each girl would soon be given a considerable dowry after the sale of their lands and livestock could be made. Although their lands were frugal, the sheep and wool would fetch a high price- as it was the only flock around for miles. Still, he was non-committal and preferred to wait and see what would come of it. 

Two weeks later, after all was sold and tallied, Gwendolyn was to receive just a little over 12,000 pounds and her sisters would receive 2,500. Although it wasn’t as great a sum as he had wished, it was nothing to trifle with either. With five living children to marry off, Marcelle knew he would need every farthing. He made sure to keep it a secret that only he and his wife knew, for now. Yet with the death of Llywelyn came consequences and suspicions, which affected more than one family. 

First, Olric stepped in again and tried to persuade Marcelle that he should be the one to raise Edith. He had no plans for the other girls though, and was only concerned with Edith. Marcelle knew that his wife would never approve of this, as she adored Edith the most, so he let Olric down gently. 

“Since you gave Edith to her rightful father two years ago, I think it best that she stay with her sisters and be raised as a Lady. She will have access to the best life can offer her- including an education and favorable marriage prospects. If she goes with you, the best she can hope for would be marriage to a tradesman,” he said with an air of superiority.

Luckily for Marcelle, that conversation kept Olric silent on the subject forever after, no matter how much his heart longed for his sweet little Edith. He could not compete with the Squire of the village, no matter how badly he wished to, and he knew it. There was no longer any hope.

Soon after the conversation between Marcelle and Olric, the matter of Oswald of Whitestone (formerly Oswald of York) became pressing when he showed up at Marcelle’s door, insisting on an audience with Gwendolyn. Oswald was now 18  and ready to marry Gwendolyn, whom he had been officially engaged to for three years. The two families had entered into the engagement when he was a young Smith’s apprentice. Since then his family had risen in wealth and status, and Oswald had grown into a very fine, learned young heir. To make matters worse, he had been in love with Gwendolyn all the time, so he was pressing the matter hard- as stubborn, hormonal young men do! 

If Marcelle wanted to keep Gwendolyn’s dowry, he would have to hatch a plan, and soon. But until then he told Oswald that she was still grieving and would not be disturbed. 

“I shall be back in a fortnight”, he retorted. “Please tell her I was here,” and galloped away on his horse.  

#sims 2 stories #new foundations #sims 2 challenges

[swaps55]

5 Favorites

5 favorite snippets from 5 reasonably recent stories. Or whatever. Rules are mere suggestions. 

Tagged by @nug-juggler. Thank you! I love sharing snippets. 

Tagging @pigeontheoneandonly, @shadoedseptmbr, @forlornmelody, @nightmarestudio606 and anyone who’s interested, no obligations!

1. From Cantata, Chapter 3 – Welcome to the Fire:

Shepard halts, pivots, corona blazing forth once more. He says something Kaidan doesn’t understand, but the mercenary pauses, then chortles and breaks into a sprint.

Anyone in their right mind would have quailed at the sight of a charging krogan. Shepard grins.

It’s feral.

Confident.

And utterly unafraid.

His fists curl. The gravity well somersaults as Shepard channels a maelstrom of dark energy. Kaidan sucks in a sharp breath, the sheer force of it enough to make him dizzy.

The krogan’s shotgun blares. Every hair on Kaidan’s arms stands on end as Shepard forms a wall of shearing mass effect fields and slams it into the krogan, shoulder jerking as his kinetic barriers absorb the full brunt of the shotgun blast.

The krogan bellows as the shearing fields chew through him. The shotgun drops from rigid fingers and clatters to the ground. Shepard races forward, own shotgun booming as fast as he can pull the trigger. When it overheats he casts it aside, and to Kaidan’s sheer horror, attacks the krogan with his bare hands.

He lands one hit, then two, using his smaller size and quickness to his advantage in ways Kaidan had only dreamed of when he and Shepard had their impromptu sparring session a week ago. Still, the krogan nearly makes it back to his feet before Shepard seizes the barrel of the massive shotgun, jerks it up into the krogan’s throat, then flips it around and fires point blank into the krogan’s uncovered head. Blood, grey matter and bone spray outward. The recoil kicks hard into Shepard’s shoulder, the same one that had already bled off the shotgun pellets.

Holy fuck.

2. From “The Words That Change Us”

Kaidan falls silent. Fuck his implant. Fuck the faulty wiring in his head. Fuck not remembering to bring his own damn meds. If only Anderson could see this. Keep Shepard on his feet my ass. Can’t even keep myself on my feet.

“Anderson thanked me today,” Kaidan says, cracking an eye open. Every ship in the Alliance is practically a darkroom. Why the hell is Arcturus so bright? He sucks air in through his teeth. “Can’t figure out why.”

Shepard gives him a bemused look. “No wonder you have a migraine.”

“Stop trying to be funny,” Kaidan grunts. “It gives me a migraine.”

“I’m delightfully funny,” Shepard informs him, “which you might notice if you weren’t so busy thinking yourself into a migraine.”

Kaidan tries to laugh, but immediately regrets it. Shepard tightens his grip on Kaidan’s arm.

“See? Funny.”

“You’re deflecting.”

“Quit noticing."

“Shepard.” It comes out as a mumble, and the way Shepard’s fingers dig into his forearm before relaxing suggests he’s listening now. “He said I keep you on your feet. Why would he say that?”

Shepard’s brow furrows. Instead of answer, he gets to his feet and pulls Kaidan back to his. “How about we get the icepick out of your head, and then talk about this.”

“No. If we talk about it now you’ll take pity and actually give me an answer.”

Shepard huffs, grips Kaidan’s arm and resumes course, footsteps slow and steady.

“I didn’t do anything to help you earn this,” Kaidan persists. “Why does he think I did?”

More silence. More steps. Each footfall ricochets off the deckplates, pricking at the base of Kaidan’s skull. Where the fuck is the airlock? It feels like they’ve been walking for hours.

“You’re stable ground,” Shepard says at last.

Stable ground. Maybe if his head wasn’t throbbing so hard he could figure out what the hell that means.

“You don’t…want anything from me,” Shepard continues. His voice is small, uncertain, as though now that he’s voiced the thought aloud he might find out it isn’t true.

It isn’t true.

You. I want you.

3. From Sonata, Chapter 10 - Unsteady

There are more well-dressed people in this one room than Joker has seen in his entire lifetime. It should be his worst nightmare, but he’s actually having fun. Turns out Tali has an exceptional gift for making unbearable social occasions bearable.

“And what about her?” Joker asks, pointing to a woman who looks like a canary covered in taffeta.

Tali leans against the table beside him and tilts her head, the purple and black sequined scarf that Mrs. Alenko had given her for the evening catching in the bright lights of the ballroom. 

“Hmmm. A widower. Discovered her husband of more than thirty years had gambled away their entire fortune, leaving her penniless. She is here to mourn—not him, but his brother. The man she was truly in love with. She thought he did not love her back, but the truth is that he was too afraid to tell her. After his brother’s death, he swore he would, but he went down with the Cairo before he had the chance.”

“Damn, Tali, that’s dark,” Joker says with a chuckle. “You got a happy one? How about that guy?” He points to a random stranger who’s sipping a glass of wine and laughing too hard.

She swirls the liquid in her glass. Forget the geth. This is where she really shines.

“He professed his love to…” she scans the room. Eventually she points at another well-dressed man, who looks absolutely no different from any of the rest as far as Joker is concerned. “That man over there. They are desperately in love, but he,” she points again at the new guy, “is afraid of his feelings. He has a dark past, and doesn’t want to drag his true love down with his demons.”

“Happy, Tali. I was looking for happy.”

She raises her glass. “A few spins on the dancefloor and he’s going to realize that pushing him away will only snap them back together. Like quarks.”

Joker clinks his glass against hers. “That’s my girl.”

4. From Fugue, Chapter 4 – This Hole You Left

But while most of the galaxy is preparing to mourn Commander Shepard, the soldier standing next to him might be the only person he knows who’s grieving for Sam. Anderson swirls the remaining liquid in his glass.

“He was the most reckless SOB I’ve ever met,” Anderson says, watching a hanar drift along one of the intact pathways below them. “I’m pretty sure half the shit he pulled over the years was just to piss me off.”

Alenko raises an eyebrow ever so slightly in surprise, but doesn’t turn his head. “He’s always at his best when the plan goes to hell.”

“Since he was a kid,” Anderson agrees, not missing the fact that Alenko had referred to him in the present tense. “First time I ever laid eyes on him he was four. He’d wandered away from Daniel on Arcturus and he called in the cavalry to look for him. You know where I found him?”

Alenko shakes his head.

“In a fountain, playing with a model ship. I asked him what the hell his spaceship was doing in the water. He said, ‘I’m about to find out.’”

Alenko’s mouth curves in a brittle smile. “I didn’t know you knew him that young.”

“I doubt he remembered,” Anderson says. “His father and I were good friends. I dropped in on occasion while he was growing up.” Before Shepard was a soldier. Before he was the Butcher of Torfan or the Savior of the Citadel. Back when he was still Sam, all knees and elbows, so desperate to please he couldn’t sit still.

Anderson still misses that kid.

5. From “The Way Back”

“You have a gun, Shepard, and it shoots mass-accelerated projectiles a hell of a lot more efficiently than you can shoot yourself. That was a titanic amount of energy you put out. How in the hell do you justify the cost of that on your own body?”

“Because it saved your life,” he snaps, dropping the barrel extension onto the bench with a clatter. “She had your head in her crosshairs, and I put her the fuck down. So yeah, it was worth the cost.”

Kaidan falls silent.

Shepard shoots him a reproachful look. “You know, I didn’t miss your fucking lectures.”

Kaidan holds his gaze, retort right on the tip of his tongue. Shepard shouldn’t need a lecture to know that fucking with his own mass as a combat tactic was reckless, stupid, and above all, unnecessary. But he did need one. And someone willing to get in his way long enough to do it.

Wasn’t that part of what had always made them so good together? Shepard charging into a china shop like a bull, with Kaidan standing at the door waving his arms? Shepard would run through him as often as he stopped or swerved, but no matter how it ended Kaidan was there to help him pick up the pieces.

He softens. “Yeah, well, I did miss what a complete idiot you are sometimes. You could have, just, I don’t know. Knocked me to the ground. Or knocked her to the ground. Using her own mass.”

Shepard’s brow furrows and he opens his mouth to protest before he sighs in defeat. “Yeah. Ok. That probably would have worked, too.”

Kaidan’s smile deepens. “You always did prefer theatrics out in the field.”

“Me?” Shepard huffs and pokes at the pieces of the Carnifex, chin low to hide his own smile. “Okay, maybe I occasionally enjoy a small flair for the dramatic.”

“Small. You call turning yourself into the most impractical mass-accelerated weapon I could conceive of small.”

Shepard’s smile turns into a smirk. “Say whatever you want. But just imagine being that sniper getting an eyeful of me coming right at her. That’s the kind of fear of god she’s not going to forget anytime soon.”

“You put a shotgun round point blank into her head. She forgot it pretty quick.”

#snippet #mshenko #mememe #tried to pick snippets with a variety of flavors #combat! #pining! #banter! #angst! #biotics! #oh my!

[ziskandra]

Fic Round Up 2020

I didn't intend to do much writing in 2020. Perhaps participate in a single-fandom exchange or two, if any took my fancy. Then my city's second lockdown happened, the Premier told us to stay home, and I am a good citizen. I wrote more in 2020 than I have in any year since 2009 (when I was sixteen). So, I guess 2020 was good for something after all.

Anyway, without any further ado, I present 50 fics across 13 fandoms! (Ace Attorney, Aggretsuko, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Dragon Age, Game of Thrones, Golden Sun, Harry Potter, Mass Effect, My Fair Lady, Original Work, Persona 3, To The Moon, Your Name.)

Ace Attorney

A Good Forking; Ema & Klavier; Klavier Gavin is aroused by a particularly sumptuous steak, and Ema is not amused. (750 words, rated T.)

I (27M) have adopted a child (8F) in less than ideal circumstances. What can I do to be the best possible father for her?; Phoenix & Trucy; Shortly after adopting Trucy, Phoenix seeks advice in the r/relationships subreddit. (2.3k, rated G.)

The Disappearance of Trucy Wright; Phoenix/Edgeworth; Miles Edgeworth is forced to confront his complicated feelings on fatherhood. (10k, rated T.)

A Helping Hand; Franziska/Phoenix; Franziska offers to help Phoenix piece his life back together after his disbarment. Phoenix should suspect her motives, but finds himself drawn towards her methodology instead. (2k, rated E.)

Chasing Demons; Franziska von Karma & Ensemble; Franziska von Karma is haunted by ghosts. Who are they? What do they want with her? And what do they have to do with the identity of her mother, a family secret her father has always kept close to his chest? (20k, WIP, rated M.)

Aggretsuko

anything we dream; Fenneko & Retsuko; Just because something makes you happy doesn’t mean you have to do it forever. (1k, rated G.)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Intermission; Audra/Greg; Recently divorced Audra Levine visits West Covina to provide moral support during her frenemy’s open mic night. (2.3k, rated T.)

Realization; Audra/Greg; Greg and Audra meet at Rebecca's open mic night, hit it off, and spend some quality time together before Audra leaves town. (2.2k, rated E.)

Does Rebecca Feel the Same Way?; Rebecca/Greg; Greg Serrano is still, hopelessly, helplessly in love with Rebecca Bunch, even if he does his best to hide it. (1k, rated M.)

silver place; Rebecca/Nathaniel; Upon reuniting with Rebecca after his sabbatical, Nathaniel finds himself feeling self-conscious about his body. (900 words, rated T.)

mirror image; Rebecca/Audra; Despite being a staunch feminist who believes women can do whatever they want with their body hair, Rebecca can't help but be intimated by Audra's impeccable personal grooming. (200 words, rated E.)

Dragon Age

Duty; Loghain Mac Tir; There are many times in Loghain's life where he could've died. Somehow, he survives. (6k, rated M.)

Skinned Knees; Loghain & Anora; Loghain and his daughter throughout the years, from her infancy to the Landsmeet. (2k, rated G.)

Divine; Cassandra/F!Trevelyan; After the Inquisition is disbanded, Evelyn Trevelyan and her lover, Divine Victoria, steal a quiet moment alone together. (2.1k, rated E.)

Selfish; F!Trevelyan/Josephine; An extension of the scene where Josephine and the Inquisitor cuddle in front of the fire. (1.6k, rated E.)

A Little Longer; Alistair/Zevran; It’s not the first time Zevran has assisted a friend in a loveless marriage. (750 words, rated E.)

The Secret; Alistair/Anora; In which Alistair tells Anora he might have a child. (1.6k, rated M.)

Jennies; F!Cadash/Sera; Malika's looking forward to introducing her family to Sera. Sera has her reservations. (1.3k, rated T.)

Unsaid; F!Hawke/Varric; After the events at Adamant, Hawke and Varric are interrupted during an inopportune moment. It leads to a discussion on what their relationship means to them.

To Find a Cure; F!Cousland/Anora; Letters written to and from Warden-Commander Cousland, Queen Consort of Ferelden, during her search for a cure to the Calling. (10k, rated M.)

Loud Enough; Josephine/Sera; After the Inquisition is disbanded, Josephine and Sera travel to Antiva. (1k, rated T.)

No Half-Measures; Anders/M!Hawke; After the Chantry explosion, Hawke is faced with a difficult decision. (600 words, rated T.)

Kept Waiting; Celia/Loghain; It’s no secret that the Teyrna is the one truly in charge of the teyrnir (and its Teyrn). (2.8k, rated E.)

Ripples; F!Hawke/Isabela; Isabela had thought she'd given up on love, but as it turns out, love hasn't given up on her. (500 words, rated M.)

Vulnerability; F!Hawke/Isabela; In the weeks following the Qunari invasion, Isabela and Hawke settle into a routine that cannot last. (1.2k, rated E.)

A Matter of Trust; Cassandra/Varric; A line in Varric's most recent romance serial, Holed Up in Skyhold, provides Cassandra with a new idea for their lovemaking. (3.8k, rated E.)

Right Hand; Cassandra/F!Trevelyan; After losing her left arm, Evelyn Trevelyan is all right hand — except where it matters to Cassandra the most.

Home; F!Hawke/Isabela; Two weeks after leaving Kirkwall, Hawke's still growing accustomed to her new home.

Game of Thrones

precendent; Arya/Sansa; Arya shouldn’t be thinking about Sansa like this. It feels like a betrayal. (450 words, rated M.)

Golden Sun

Into the Vortex; Isaac & Garet; After a decade trapped in a Psynergy Vortex, Isaac and Garet begin to wonder if they'll ever be rescued. (800 words, rated G.)

Harry Potter

Sorry; Harry/Hermione; In a world where Ron never returns to his friends, Harry and Hermione must navigate the events at Malfoy Manor together. (2.1k, rated M.)

Scoop; Rita Skeeter & Gilderoy Lockhart; Rita Skeeter investigates a lead from an unlikely source. (1.6k, rated T.)

across the veil; Luna & Harry; During Harry's sixth year, Luna attempts to provide him with some comforting news. (700 words, rated G.)

Beautiful Disaster; Rita/Lockart; Rita Skeeter will do anything for a lead. (1.1k, rated E.)

Mass Effect

Fleeting; Sloane/Jien; Stolen moments before the launch of the Andromeda Initiative. (1.3k, rated T.)

Sparks Fly; Jack/Miranda; When Jack had promised to smear the walls with Miranda, she hadn't meant it quite like this. (1.8k, rated E.)

Instructions; F!Shepard/Samantha; Samantha likes to make sure Shepard's taking care of herself, in every sense of the words. (1k, rated E.)

black and blue (fight on through); F!Shepard/Garrus; After the Battle of the Citadel, Garrus goes to say goodbye to Shepard, and is inadvertently promised a future instead.(1.5k, rated T.)

Piece by Piece;Miranda & Female Shepard; After the Commander’s first death, asphyxiating in the skies over Alchera, Miranda had been the one to piece Shepard back together again, like the world’s most elaborate jigsaw puzzle. The second time… well, she’s practically an expert. (550 words, rated T.)

Mark II; Miranda/Female Shepard; Shepard doesn't leave a body behind this time. (700 words, rated T.)

Control; M!Shepard/Garrus; Garrus will do whatever he can to save the man he loves – even if he can’t bring himself to say the words aloud. (1.3k, rated E.)

Practice; F!Shepard/Garrus; Garrus had thought he'd been nervous when he'd first slept with Shepard, but somehow he's even more flustered the second time around.(1.2k, rated E.)

My Fair Lady

no time for a chat; Higgins/Pickering; Eliza returns to 27A Wimpole Street to seek further phonetics instruction, and life soon resumes its familiar routine. Familiar until one fateful night, when Eliza overhears a heated discussion. It threatens to change everything and nothing at all. (2.3k, rated G.)

Original Work

Run Here; Sword Lesbian Princess/Sword Lesbian Princess From A Rival Kingdom; Much to the dismay of her mother, Princess Cassandra wishes to elope with her lover. Her lover has other plans. (1.1k, rated G.)

Aulia & Haidrul’s Enchanted Weapons and Wares; Daughter of a Blacksmith & Son of a Witch; Two elderly proprietors weave the tale of how they overcame societal expectations to go into business together. (10k, rated M.)

Persona 3

Deathseekers; Minako & Ensemble; They call themselves the Deathseekers and the end of the world is nigh. What else can they do but fight when Death seeks them out in return? (Fantasy AU) (600 words, rated T.)

To The Moon

Minisode 3; Robert/Eva/Neil/Roxanne; They wake up one morning and discover they have drunkenly married one another. (2.2k, rated T.)

Blame It on the Punch; Eva/Neil; After their semi-disastrous prom, Eva and Neil take the next step in their relationship. (4k, rated E.)

Your Name

do you remember?; Mitsuha/Taki; Mitsuha feels a supernatural pull towards the handsome architect she crosses paths with on the street one day, almost as though they've met before. (1.3k, rated G.)

#asha fic #oh my god i'm so tired BUT ACCOMPLISHED #one of these days i'm gonna run out of unique abstract nouns to title my fic after #and then we move onto the song lyrics #i feel it in my soul

[thatringboy]

Sanders Sides Headcanon

So I’ve seen something like this before, but I’m expanding on Thomas’ love for Steven Universe. There’s cute drawings of if the Sides fused together like the Crystal Gems and I wanted to write something like that. So, let’s check out the Sides in my new HC!

SIDES:

Logan

Rarely fuses

Has only ever fused with Virgil and Janus (and that was once)

Understands Virgil and Janus’ emotions despite being himself

Calls out Roman for being a clown

Raps

His fuse dance is nothing - the Sides dance towards him

Doesn’t have a weapon, but can use holograms

Patton

Enjoys fusing

Loves to fuse with Virgil and Janus because of their smart alec personalities

Wishes to fuse with Logan someday

Doesn’t like fusing with Roman because of his pride

His fuse dance involves a lot of twirling

Weapons are gauntlets (kinda like Garnet)

Roman

Loves to fuse, but is confused by how people don’t want to fuse with him

All of his fusions are physically strong, but are emotionally unstable and never last long

Has fused with Patton, Virgil and Remus; Virgil being the longest

A clown

His fuse dance is like a dominant ballet dancer

Weapon is a sword

Virgil

Only fuses if he has to (which apparently is a lot bc of his anxiety)

Has fused with everyone except Remus, but prefers to fuse with Patton because of the emotional stability that comes from it

His fusions will always have two sets of eyes: his own and whomever he fuses with.

Doesn’t like to push his negative emotions onto other people, hence his reluctance to fuse

His fuse dance is basically him dragging his feet in circles, sometimes gracefully and sometimes tripping into who he’s fusing with

Weapon is a whip (like a spider thread almost)

Janus

Likes to fuse, but understands the reluctance from the others

Has fused with Patton, Logan and Virgil (the last two being only once each)

Rarely takes control in a fusion because of his negative emotions

His fusions will always have two sets of arms and the snake face

His fusions will also always have his bowler hat, but the yellow ribbon changes color

Can shapeshift better than all of the other Sides

His fuse dance is like a tango - precise and coordinated

Weapon is his Shepard’s Crook

Remus

Has fused exactly once.

He started out as a Permafusion with Roman as Passion, but the two split apart for some reason

Jokes about fusing with people randomly, but actually cares a lot about consent

Consent is the only thing Remus isn’t, ya know, remus about

You don’t joke about consent, especially with Remus

He will pound you into the ground if you act without consent from someone

Doesn’t know his fuse dance anymore

Weapon is his Morningstar

SIDE FUSIONS:

Humanity

Morality and Deceit

Named Pan (Patton+Janus) after the God of the Wild

Is the strongest fusion physically and emotionally

Outfit is Janus’ clothes with Patton’s colors

Has four arms, two are covered in light blue gloves

Fluffy light brown hair poofs out from under his bowler hat with a light blue ribbon around it

Smiles a lot

The most realistic face out of the fusions - just Janus’ face but with a blue eye on the right (human) side. Also wears glasses

Patton has control most of the time, but enjoys letting Janus take control

A comedy god

Weapon is a battle hammer, but has only used it once

Rarely appears, but when Patton and Janus fuse, the other Sides know that they’ve done something wrong

Passion

Creativity

Unknown name (Roman+Remus)

Had powers over Thomas’ reality

Was the Side in charge until unfusion

Incertitude

Anxiety and Deceit

Named Jaanil (Janus+Virgil) which means “Life” in Hindi

Has appeared once, but only for a short period of time

Weapon was a pair of nun chucks

Outfit consisted of Janus’ shawl, but with yellow plaid patches, bowler hat with a purple ribbon, a loose yellow t-shirt with holes and ripped black jeans

Has only two eyes, but both have two pupils. His left eye (the snake one) has two yellow reptilian orbs while the right eye has two purple human orbs

Has four arms, but two were constantly in his pockets

Extremely sarcastic

Despite the resemblance to Janus, Virgil was in control

Presentiment

Anxiety and Morality

Named Piper (Patton+Virgil)

Only ever fused to calm Virgil down during his anxiety attacks

Weapon is a yo-yo

Outfit is Piper wearing Patton’s cat hoodie instead of Virgil’s jacket, but there are purple plaid patches along it. He has a pair of large headphones around his neck and tucks his black t-shirt into a pair of dark unripped jeans

Also has tons of friendship bracelets

Eyes resemble Rhodinite’s - top set is Patton’s blue eyes which are wide open and always looking around while the bottom set is Virgil’s purple eyes which are half-closed and never making eye contact

Piper’s hair is fluffy like Patton’s and his tips are dyed purple

His glasses are also big enough to fit both sets of eyes

All in all very adorable

Discomfiture

Creativity and Anxiety

Named Regil (Roman+Virgil) which sounds like “Regal”

The most common fusion next to Piper

His weapon is a chain scythe

Outfit is Roman’s attire, but black and purple colored instead of white and red

Make up skills!

Has the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack memorized

Also the Coraline one, but he doesn’t hum it around Patton

Eyes like Piper’s except Roman’s green eyes swap out with Patton’s blue ones (duh)

His hair is swept back dramatically and has a purple tuff in the front

Persuasion

Logic and Deceit

Named Lane (Logan+Janus)

Was running Logan’s Lowdown during SVS Rebux

Weapon is still the Shepard’s Crook

Doesn’t like to raise his voice, but will if he has to

His outfit is just Logan’s, but with a yellow tie and bowler hat with a black ribbon

Eyes resemble Pan’s, but the light blue eye is dark blue

Kinda just looks like Janus cosplaying a Hufflepuff version of Logan

Has two arms that connect at the elbow, unlike the other fusions where they connect in the shoulder socket

Can’t stop eating Crofter’s????? Like Lane always has a jar in his hand???

Again, has only appeared once and was fused to stop Patton and Roman in SVS Rebux

Reason

Logic and Anxiety

Named Vile (Virgil+Logan) because Virgil wanted an edgy name to counteract Regil and Piper

Personality wise, very relaxed. Passes the vibe check.

A Trivia GOD

Has the script from the Bee Movie and Shrek memorized

Outfit is just Virgil’s, but with a blue and black color scheme instead of purple and black

Also has glasses big enough for his two sets of eyes

Top set is Virgil’s purple eyes and bottom set is Logan’s dark blue eyes

No weapon that we know of - Vile prefers his words

Has only fused a couple of times, but is by far the smartest fusion

I’ll add onto this if I get new ideas/when the next episode comes out, but for now I kinda threw up ideas into a singular post and it’s midnight where I’m at so maybe this wasn’t the best idea???

Nah this is amazing and I’m proud of myself.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fusions #pan sanders #vile sanders #jaanil sanders #piper sanders #regil sanders #lane sanders #passion sanders #my computer shut down while i was typing this and i had a panic attack that i lost the whole thing