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ghostboneswrites2 · 2 months

Text

Safer

Summary: After the fall of the prison and a brutal assault, Daryl cares for you.

NOTE (please read): A mutual requested this a while ago. Took a long while to write, and tbh I considered turning the req down given the premise and my firm stance on writing graphic SA which you can find here. However, they explained to me that they are a victim of a violent s*xual assault, and they expressed it would be healing in a way to have a story where they were cared for by their comfort character. After some consideration, I decided to go for it. I'm sure a lot of us have been victimized by people who couldn't control their urges, or those who lacked respect for our boundaries, bodies, and consent. Myself included. So, this story is for us, to those of us that can stomach it.

DISCLAIMER: There are no scenes of graphic SA, only the aftermath. While I will not be telling any descriptive scenarios of being assaulted, I do want to clearly express that this is a generally heavy story and it may not be suitable for all audiences. Please consume responsibly.

**I will not be tagging anyone on the taglist due to the content of this story**

18+MDNI || WARNINGS: non-graphic allusions to SA, violence, mild nudity descriptions, generally heavy content so I can't say it enough: TW!!!

Banners credited on my masterlist!!

Daryl's vision was blurred as he blinked himself to consciousness. It took him some time to gather his thoughts and recognize his surroundings. His wrists and ankles were bound together, his mouth gagged with a cloth that tasted of sweat and filth. He stared up at the treetops towering over him. It was dark outside, save for the dim light of a dying campfire a few feet away. He lifted his head from the forest floor and looked down past his feet. Lumps of sleeping bodies under raggedy blankets and torn sleeping bags rested around him. His heart raced as his memories crept back in; of you, screaming his name, of him fighting off the group of men who caught him off guard, of twigs snapping and a searing pain over the side of his head. Was that why his face felt so sticky? Was it dried blood?

His eyes strained in the fading light of ember and ash. Where were you? He noticed a crumpled form at the foot of a tree. Her breathing was shallow and her clothes were torn, pants not even pulled up over her bare behind. That much, he could see. His throat tightened. His eyes watered. What the hell had he let them do to you? How could he have let this happen? He had to get you out of there, and fast. If they hadn't killed him yet, that was surely on their agenda.

He began to squirm and writhe against his restraints. Whoever tied him up had experience. Just as hopelessness began to set in and cloud his judgement with fear -- real, genuine fear -- he noticed a reflection in the leaves. Just a few feet past his boots, a man was curled up on his side, snoring lightly in the calm breeze. His back was turned to Daryl, and behind him set a grungy backpack with a blade sticking out of the smallest pocket in the front. He glanced back to you, shivering on the ground, unsure if you were awake or unconscious or simply passed out from the exhaustion of prior events.

The sight of you in your disheveled mess was all her needed to kick him into gear. Carefully and hastily, he scooted himself down toward his only chance at redeeming his status as a loyal protector of the weak and vulnerable. Ideally, he'd be able to accomplish this in silence, but he was not in an ideal situation. His circumstances were heavy, laced in sweat and angst. The leaves beneath him rustled as his back slid across the ground, twigs snapping or moving to the side as he made his way closer to the large hunting knife. He'd pause between each scoot, studying the sleeping men around him for any sign of movement or wakefulness. When he'd decide the coast was clear enough, he'd resume. It felt like an eternity, but he made it there.

His core muscles strained as he sat himself up. He realized how sore he was. He must have taken a good beating. Seemed fitting, though. He was never one to go down without a fight. He left that sort of weakness in his past.

He guided his shaky, bound hands over to the bag. He slowly slid the knife out of the front pocket. His heart raged against his ribs. He didn't dare take a single breath until it was secured.

Slow. Slowness. Slowly. He repeated every variation of the word in his mind as he positioned the knife between his palms and dragged it back and forth until the rope finally severed. A silent breath of relief escaped him as he ripped the gag from his lips and worked on the rope tied around his ankles. When he was free, he stood and counted the sleeping bodies beneath him. Excluding you, there were four.

He considered waking you up and running for the hills, but he couldn't leave any loose ends. No, he thought of it like when your t-shirt has a loose thread. You could leave it to keep unraveling, or you could burn it at the base and extend the lifetime of your clothes. He decided he needed to burn this string before it could unravel any further.

Starting with the man closest to him -- the one who so graciously left his knife in plain sight for the archer -- he krept over and crouched down, plunching the blade into the base of his skull. Then, he moved on to the next, and the next one, and the one after that, until they were all a problem of the past. Until that pesky little thread could do no further damage to the rest of the shirt.

When the dirty work was behind him, he dropped the knife and rushed over to you. Your wrists were tied like his, but you were tied to the tree so you couldn't run. He eyed you over and gulped. With your pants not fully covering you and your shirt all ripped up, he could see the finger-shaped bruises littering your skin. There was blood on your inner thighs. Your lips were swollen and cut. His blood heated until it hit a boiling point. His hands trembled as they hovered over you. Touching you felt like a crime, but he had to wake you. He had to get you out of there.

"(Y/N)." He whispered as he laid a hand on your shoulder. You were shivering in the cool air, but a thin layer of sweat blanketed your exposed flesh. He gave you a gentle shake. "((Y/N), c'mon. We gotta go." He pleaded softly.

Your body jerked and you jolted awake. You gave him no chance to explain as you scrambled to your knees and cowered away against the tree.

"(Y/N) it's me. It's Daryl." He attempted his most soothing tone of voice. "C'mon, let me get ya cleaned up."

He outstretched his arm, offering you his hand. Without making eye contact you made a move to take it, but you were stopped by the restricting force of the rope that kept you anchored to the tree trunk. He moved quickly for the knife he tossed to the side earlier and returned with it. Without the pressure of remaining silent, he had your hands free in seconds.

He wasted no time helping you to your feet and averting his gaze as he slid your pants up where they belonged. He found he had a hard time keeping his mind straight and focused as your weeping filled the quiet campsite.

"Shh.." He cooed, keeping one hand on your upper back as he ushered you along with him to gather his things and yours. A smart man would have rummaged through the belongings of the ones he killed, too, but he wasn't concerned with making a smart call at that point. He was only worried about you.

"It's alright. C'mon. Let's get ya somewhere you can rest. It's alright. C'mon." He felt useless as ever, repeating the same generic words of comfort as you limped along beside him. He never urged you to up the pace, he didn't drag you along or have you carry your own bag. He felt like the least he could do was shoulder the weight of survival on behalf of you both. He couldn't get the image out of his mind of ou laying there,caked in blood, sweat, and bruises. A girl like you should have been caked in perfume and makeup. You hair should have been done up nice for a Sunday brunch, not matted with leaves and dirt. Your clothes should have been pristine and well fitting, unlike the filthy torn clothes that were beginning to hang off your frame like tender meat falling from the bone. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve any of it.

Eventually he found an acceptable spot that looked like it could have been a den for a hibernating bear. It was a big shrub by a little stream, perfectly indented to give you both enough room to crouch under its foliage. He gently set you down, dropping his bow and your bags beside him. He crouched down in front of you and scanned you, worry written articulately over his features.

Your eyes remained glued to the ground. Your nose was upturned in disgust but your eyes told a different story; one of pain and despair and mourning for the person you were before that night. Your frown was deep enough to leave a scar.

"(Y/N)..." He breathed. Your eyes slowly found their way to his and welled with tears all over again. Of all things you had -- meaning, being alive and away from those men -- there was nothing you were more grateful for than his blue eyes staring back at you. You hated the way he looked at you with defeat and pity, though. You hated that he had one more thing to worry about. Still, he was there, and he was welcome. "Let's get ya cleaned up, okay?"

You nodded once, if absentmindedly. Your thoughts were elsewhere. You couldn't pinpoint their location, though. They were scrambled, swarming all around you, like gnats you couldn't swat away.

He pulled an old shirt from his bag and leaned over to the stream, getting it nice and wet before wringing it out. He turned back to you and brought it up to your cheek, gently dabbing and swiping away at the dirt, grime, sweat, and blood. He moved on to your neck and hands, then he paused. You both looked down at your jeans. You knew it needed to be taken care of, and he did too, but the question was really about which one of you would be brave enough to work on the gruesome scene between your legs.

One look at your expression and he knew it couldn't be you. But, how could it be him? He couldn't put you in such a vulnerable position. No, not him.

That's when the lightbulb went off over his head. The stream, of course.

"Here." He offered you a hand. You took it slowly and he led you to your feet. "Wanna get in the water?" He asked. You stared down at the serene flowing water, trickling just before your feet. He cleared his throat. "I don't gotta look."

You almost could have laughed. After everything that had happened, Daryl seeing you bathe wasn't really a concern. Still, you had to maintain some shred of dignity, and washing those men off of you was a much needed stride toward leaving that horrid night in your past. So, you nodded, and he turned away to start a fire where you could warm up after rinsing off.

The button was busted off of your jeans. You guessed they couldn't waste their time with something as simple as undoing a button. You let out a shaky sigh and gritted your teeth. You moved to bend over and slide your jeans down, but a searing pain shot through your insides. You whimpered. "I can't." You barely managed.

"Huh?" He asked over his shoulder.

"I can't." You spoke up with a tremble. "I can't get them off. It hurts."

His throat tightened up. Had they really been so cruel to you?

"Ya want me to..." He trailed off.

"Please." You whispered and shut your eyes. He stood beside you and pulled your pants down to your ankles, kneeling down as he did so.

"Grab my shoulder." He instructed softly. You did. "Left leg." He said. You pulled it out. "Now the right."

With your jeans off, he stood up and looked down at your face, which you his from him, avoiding his gaze.

"Your -- Uh.." He glanced down at your underwear. You nodded, not needing to see what he meant. He followed the same process with those and turned away as soon as he was done. You cleared your throat.

"Can you help me sit?" You whispered. He sucked in a breath. It wasn't that you were annoying him. Anything but that, actually. He was glad to help you in any way you needed. It was the simple fact that you needed the help that was eating him alive. The thought that those guys could hurt you in this way, to this extent, was infuriating and heartbreaking.

He turned back to you and hovered behind you, placing a hand under each arm to support you while you lowered yourself down into the water. Once you were sitting on the creek bed, you adjusted yourself and sighed.

"Just, uh, watch for snakes, okay?" Was all he could say before turning his attention back to the fire finally.

Your frown deepened as you stared down at your bloodied thighs. A plop beside you startled you before realizing it was just the old shirt he was using to clean you up.

"Figured ya might need it." He mumbled.

You gripped the cloth in your hand and stared at it. Blood and filth stained it. Your lip quivered as you ran it over your inner thighs, scrubbing your own dried blood away and watching it disappear in the gentle current. You hissed and winced as you cleaned yourself where you were really injured.

When you were done, you peered over your shoulder, where Daryl stared at the small flame. He felt your eyes on him and he looked up at you.

"Need some clothes?" He asked.

"Please." You replied. He nodded once and rummaged through your bag. He could only find a semi-clean shirt, but no more pants. He pulled his own bag forward and searched for the new two-pack of boxers he'd scavenged awhile back.

"I, uh, didn't see no more pants, but... You can have those." He said, holding your shirt and the fresh boxers out to you.

"Thanks." You pressed your lips into a thin attempt at a friendly smile.

He turned away again so you could change your shirt, but you needed his help with the boxers, which he did without you needing to ask, and without a single peek at you.

He helped you back over to the den where you could warm up by the fire. You kept the blanket in your bag, so he made sure to wrap it around your shoulders while you sat.

"Ain't got no food." He broke the silence after a little while. You nodded.

"Not hungry anyways."

"Mm." He hummed. "Get some sleep. I'll keep watch."

----

By midday, you were on the move again, trailing right behind him as he stomped slowly over the underbrush so you could keep his pace. He'd stop every now and then, and though he didn't say it, you knew it was because he didn't want to overwork you.

By late afternoon, the sun was on the far end of the sky, casting an orange glow over the woods.

Daryl had barely been able to look at you, and you couldn't exactly claim any different. You two had taken a break again, sipping water and scanning around for any game or edible plants.

"I want ya to know.." He cleared his throat, shattering the thick silence that glazed over you both all day. "I want ya to know I didn't see it. None of it."

"I know you weren't looking." You deadpanned.

"Nah, not at the stream. I meant -- I didn't see none of it." He clarified. He had a sneaking suspicion the reason you couldn't bare to look at him might have been the possibility of him seeing what had happened to you. He, however, just hated seeing you look so broken, knowing had he been more vigilant yesterday, none of those guys would have been able to sneak up on him. You looked at him finally.

"I know. They hit you over the head 'cause you were fighting them."

"Mm." He nodded. "I just... I need to tell ya I'm sorry." His voice cracked as he looked down at his hands and back up to you. His leg was bouncing anxiously and his gums must have bled from how hard he chewed at them.

"Why?" You pushed your eyebrows together.

"I shoulda been lookin' out. Shoulda protected ya. Shoulda--"

"You were. You have been." You cut him off. "You've looked out for me every day since the prison. You've been protecting me since the quarry. You protect everyone. That wasn't your fault." You insisted. He just looked back down at his hands and sniffled, blinking back tears. He scolded himself for being the one to cry, when you were the one who got hurt. "Hey." You pressed on. "Listen to me. You got us out of there. You took care of them. You saved me. Then, you still took care of me. If we were still back there, they would have killed you and robbed you by now. And, if they hadn't killed me yet, I'd be wishing I was dead. I wouldn't be here without you. I would have never survived even before last night without you, and I wouldn't be sitting here telling you that today if it weren't for you."

He looked you in the eyes as you spoke every word. It was a great relief to him that you weren't angry with him -- that you didn't blame him. Still, he felt so uneasy.

"Can we camp here?" You asked suddenly. He shrugged.

"Yeah. We can." He agreed. His voice was still broken.

"Can I sit with you?" You asked. He looked confused but he still nodded, even if he was unsure what you meant.

Ignoring the aches all over your body, you crawled over to him and sat in front of him, between his legs, leaning your back against his torso. He was stiff, unused to being so close to someone, but he didn't resist. As you settled in and got comfortable, he rested his arms by your sides.

"You didn't fail me, Daryl. Nobody makes me feel safer."

Join the taglist || Masterlist

#tw: implied abuse #tw: implied sa #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl x female reader #daryl x you #daryl x y/n

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macsimagines · 8 months

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Buenos días, tardes o noches, ¿no te preguntaste cómo serían Mikey, Mitsuya y Kazutora cuando descubrieran que su amor de la infancia/novia adolescente, con quien rompieron por cualquier motivo, está a punto de casarse con un viejo amigo de ellos?

I will let your imagination fly

First and foremost, I have nothing against spanish or spanish speakers but please understand that i don't speak it and dont want to have to go through google translate to decipher a request again. NEXT, I have done this exact scenario for Mikey Here and therefore will not be including him in this

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, MURDER, MAYHEM, ABUSIVE AND TOXIC BEHAVIOR

Yandere!Mitsuya Takashi

He didn't think this would happen... TBH he wasn't a yandere when you two were together or even when you two broke it off. You both had been going onto different paths and Mitsuya wasn't going to ask you to put your whole life on hold for him.

But then years later he sees you and realizes just how miserable he had been without you, how empty all the fashion shows and runways had been without you by his side.

He wants to reconnect, want to be with you again and try to do this right, his career has taken off and he wants to share it with you... but you're engaged. Nonononononono- he can't take that.

Mitsuya is smart though. He makes an offer you can't refuse. "Lemme make you a wedding dress. One of a kind. C'mon, Y/N~ You were always my favorite model."

And he spends months with you, going over design after design and fitting after fitting, each dress more breathtaking than the last to you. And hideous to him.

You're beautiful of course, the most perfect bride any man could ever ask for. And you're just out of reach. Mitsuya is like a man dying of thirst just a few steps away from an oasis.

If you were his wife you'd be the most beautiful bride, if you were marrying him the dress would've been the greatest in the world, if you were his, everything would be ok.

But you're not. It doesn't matter how much time you spend together, how hard he's trying to prove you belong with him, you still want to marry someone else.

The last fitting before the wedding that's only a few days away. "I know its last minute, but you'll love this dress more than anything," and you do. Its a dress that's completely different from the one you had chosen before but its too breathtaking to say no to.

"Takashi, it's perfect! I can't wait to wear this to my wedding!" "Our wedding, darling." "Wha-!" you don't see the hit coming, just the sharp pain in your neck and you vision blacking out are the last sensations you feel, panic rising within you when you realize suddenly that Mitsuya had knocked you out....

"Bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress, I know, but I gotta take matters into my own hands. Sleep well, when you wake up we'll be on our honeymoon~"

Yandere!Kazutora Hanemiya

He broke it off with you while he was serving time after Baji's death. It was a single moment of clarity. "I can't drag you down with me anymore, Y/N. I love you too much to destroy you too..."

Regretted it the very next morning. No matter what the detention center's therapist said about 'Healthy Boundaries,' and 'Breaking Cycles' he knew deep down it was a mistake.

When the guilt and shame he has brought onto himself aren't eating him alive, his head is full of thoughts of you. Are you doing ok? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you staying loyal to him? Of course you are, you were the first time he got locked up surely-

Chifuyu has to tell him very gently a few days after he's released. "She's ok. Better than that. She's happy. Can't that be enough?" And Kazutora tries to let it be.

For your sake and his own and all the people that he's hurt, he tries to let you go again but it doesn't work and his resolve crumbles when he sees you on the street one day.

With him. You're smiling like an angel, like your soulmate wasn't locked away in a prison cell to rot all these years, next to some stranger, some fucking interloper.

Kazutora just shatters right there in the middle of the street and makes the biggest scene, shaking you by your forearms demanding answers.

"How could you do this to me!? To us? I waited so long to be with you again and you've betrayed me like this!" and your fiancé makes the sorry mistake of trying to get in between you two and is just dropped in five seconds flat from one devastating hit.

And he would've done more than just that if you hadn't stepped in to save him, tears and fury and hate burning in your eyes. "I wanted you, you turned me away! I would've waited life times for you, but then you rejected me! You don't get to act like you were betrayed when you gave up first!"

Your words and tears leave no room for argument, he can't say much to that, o he just lets you walk away with your fiancé and watches you the whole time, eyes searing into your back...

The day of the wedding finally comes but your groom is no where to be seen. Apparently nobody had heard from him since the night prior and you're so scared.

Of course because the love of your life has seemingly abandoned you at the altar, but what terrifies you more is Kazutora who showed up uninvited and unwanted. Smiling, wide and knowing eyes never leaving you once...

"Are you ready for your actual soulmate to step in?"

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere mitsuya #yandere mitsuya takashi #yandere kazutora hanemiya

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messrmoonyy · 1 year

Text

And she would rescue me

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

Summary- Tess doesn’t know why she stopped to help you. She doesn’t know why she thought bringing into the QZ was a good idea either. But now you’re in her apartment and she’ll be damned if she’s about to let you die. Snippets of the days you spend with her

A/N- this came to me so randomly in the middle of getting extremely frustrated over a request I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around, and I smashed out a few thousand words and decided I loved it. I feel like there’s a lot of injured reader x Joel fics but not enough Tess ones. So here’s my spin on it.

Warnings- 18+ || light discussion of injuries, I think this is sliigghttllyyy ooc tess, tess realising she can actually let someone in, tess learning to trust tbh, smut towards the end( it isn’t as detailed as usual cause Lord this OS is long I had to chop things out ) : oral ( reader receiving ) , fingering ( tess receiving), tess gets a little panicked during one part of the smut but she’s totally okay, can I get a hell yeah for tess being vulnerable?!

Word count- 13k only proof read once

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Reblogs and comments are always appreciated/ encouraged <3

She didn’t really know why she’d done it. Why she hadn’t just… kept walking. Minded her own fucking business and gone home. But how could she? She still had some kind of humanity left in her, enough that meant she wouldn’t just walk past a girl dying.

Which, when she thought about it, was almost laughable. She’d left her fair share of people dying, most of them dying because of her own actions. So. Clearly her humanity liked to pick and choose its moments. And maybe if this scenario had happened 10 more years into the apocalypse, she would have left you there.

But it hadn’t. The world was still yet to rip the final shreds of humanity out of her.

You had been in a heap at the bottom of a slope, where the concrete of the road had been bombed and now created a jagged rocky mess. She’d thought you were dead at first. No one really ever survived outside the wall on their own, so it wasn’t wrong of her to assume. And if she was truly honest she thought that checking on you was worth it, even if you were dead because you might actually have something decent on you.

Well that’s what she’d told Joel anyway. Her and Joel were close, ridiculously close. They knew each other inside and out but she always noticed she had held onto a little more of her humanity of the years where as he seemed to have buried his deeply away. She was the one that still had a tiny candle flickering in her chest, a warmth that allowed her to hope and care. Even if some days she did feel like snuffing it out. No matter how twisted and dark her mind had become over the years, she still had some light trapped in there.

And so even with Joel’s complaints she had gone over to you. Using the excuse of simply hoping to pull something useful from the corpse. But no. You’d been alive. Barely it seemed. But alive.

Firstly she’d checked you over for any sign of a bite, carefully pushing at you and moving your clothes for any sign of fungus crawling through your veins. Last thing she wanted was another infected crawling around out there, as if their journeys out of the city weren’t difficult enough as it was. So she checked, ready to shoot you in the head if she found even a single sign of a mushroom. And when she’d found none… she’d stood up to leave. You had nothing on you. Even your clothes were fucked. Nothing worth her time. You’d be dead soon and just another body littering the streets. She should just go home and get out of the rain.

But she found herself unable to move. Even when Joel chastised her for wasting time when he just wanted to get back inside the wall and drink himself to sleep.

“ I am not taking some damn girl back inside the wall “ he hissed “ This isn’t you Tess “

“ she’s dying Joel “

“ and so let her die. People die every goddamn day. Including us if we get caught tryna smuggle some girl through the wall. And what’re you gonna do when you get back? What if she dies anyway huh? “

She’d looked down at you again, debating listening to him. If you did die on the way back she’d be stuck with the task of trying to dispose of a dead body. Which she had done plenty of times before but, if they found you without any records of ever being accepted into the QZ? That could cause some problems.

But you were still alive. Somehow. Somehow you had managed to survive out there, and from the flaking dried blood on your face you’d been there a while. You were strong. She liked that.

Joel was wrapped around her finger so even with his protesting it didn’t surprise her that she’d managed to talk him round.

The real surprise was that they’d managed to get back inside the wall, through the tunnels and into her apartment unnoticed. Joel unceremoniously dumping you down on her bed and leaving with muttered curses under his breath that he wasn’t gonna help if she got caught. Which was bullshit. Of course he would.

That had been 2 days ago.

You were still where Joel had left you, but she made you more comfortable. Changed you out of your filthy clothes and bandaged your ankle. From the bruising and the swelling she assumed you’d broken it. But there wasn’t much telling what exactly you’d done, X-rays weren’t exactly easy to go and get now.

She’d also cleaned the injury on your head, washing away the dried blood and stitching up the wound. It wasn’t exactly neat. But she didn’t think you’d mind. She’d saved your life after all. She sat you up every now and again to coax water into you, smashing up painkillers and dissolving them in some hope you weren’t in too much pain.

You’d barely woken up the entire time. Occasionally your eyes would open for a few seconds, gaze around the room in a way that made you look drunk, and then pass back out again. She was starting to get worried. Because you needed to eat sooner rather than later. Dosing you with water and pills was one thing but it would be useless if you didn’t eat anything.

She kept a close eye on you. Locking the doors whenever she went out for work assignments and hoping you wouldn’t wake up and freak out whilst she was gone. But you didn’t. She came home, gave you water and meds, and then went to bed.

She’d been sleeping on the couch. The bed was big enough for two. But she guessed you waking up not only in a strange place but with a strange person next to you might just kill you anyway from the shock.

It made her want to laugh sometimes when she lay there at night. Maybe she was getting soft. Running around like Florence fucking Nightingale looking after a stranger that was probably gonna die anyway. And for what? What solid reason did she have for it?

None. Absolutely none.

But she couldn’t help it. Continuously tending to you and keeping you clean, keeping your bandages fresh. Wiping at your face and wondering where you’d come from, how you’d ended up out there. She had so many questions.

She was getting soft.

You woke up properly a few days after she’d found you. She wasn’t entirely sure if your bouts of unconsciousness had been due to the head injury or the painkillers. Maybe it was both. Either way, your eyes were fully open now.

To her surprise you didn’t look afraid. She found it made that little candle in her chest burn a little brighter for a moment. She was so used to people being afraid. She liked it, of course she did. But the change was nice for a brief moment. To see kind eyes looking at her like she was… a person.

You were both silent. Neither of you seemingly knowing what to say in the moment. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. And she was confused to find herself stuck for words. Unsure of what to do. She usually was ten steps ahead of everyone, could read a room in an instant and know exactly what her next move would be.

But not now. Not there with you looking at her like that. It was frustrating.

“ welcome to the world of the living sweetheart “ she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching you closely “ or half living I suppose “

“ where am I? “ your voice was hoarse. Probably because you hadn’t used it for so long. It was curious though. Not afraid. No fear laced your words as you glanced around the room, landing back on her and tilting your head slightly to the side like an inquisitive animal.

“ Boston QZ “ Tess finally spoke, grabbing a chair from the kitchen table and pulling it to the end of the bed and sitting down. You watched her every move, eyes following her from the table to where she sat “ I found you outside the wall. What the fuck were you doing out there huh? “

You seemed to ponder on the question for a moment, flickers of confusion flashing across your face. You didn’t know. How hard had you hit your head?

“ I’m not- I’m not sure - how long have I been here? “

“ few days “ your eyes widened at that, eyebrows flying up in a way that clearly hurt the wound on your head. Your hand came up to touch it, gingerly patting the stitched up space in your hairline. You then pulled at the blankets to see your ankle neatly bandaged up.

“ I fell “

“ I guess so “ she said with a sarcastic tone seeping its way into her words. Of course you’d fallen. It didn’t take a genius to work that one out.

“ so you… brought me here? “

“ a thank you would be fuckin nice “

“ oh! Thank you. Yeah of course “ you said quickly, blush creeping across your cheeks. She surprised herself by immediately thinking how… cute… it looked.

“ you feel okay though? “ she asked, immediately trying to rid herself of her previous thought. You nodded and yours eyes fell back onto her, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for more than a few seconds.

“ kinda hungry though “ to her surprise that made her smile, exhaling shortly though her nose in a small laugh.

“ yeah I bet “ she felt your eyes on her the entire time she was pottering around in the kitchenette deciding what food to get you. A small part of her did think she should’ve been smarter than to turn her back on you, you could’ve gotten out of bed and found one of the numerous weapons littered around the place. Killed her and escaped thinking she’d kidnapped you or something.

It made her glance over her shoulder.

“ you’re not gonna hurt me are you “ you said suddenly. It came out as more of statement or a fact than a question though, like you were telling yourself out loud to confirm it. Not really asking her.

“ if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve done it by now. Fuck I wouldn’t have even risked my ass bringing you though the wall “ she made her way back over to you, placing down a couple of the rationed food bars she had in front of you “ they taste like shit. But apparently one bar equals a whole fuckin meal or whatever propaganda bullshit the Military wanna tell us. Just tryna make us eat less “

“ thank you “ your eyes suddenly seemed ravenous, grabbing at the bar and taking a large bite

“ fuck. Slow down. You haven’t eaten in a week you keep going like that you’ll puke the whole thing up in ten minutes “ your cheeks flushed and you nodded, taking smaller nibbles from the shitty food bar. Looking at them already made her crave the fresh food from Bills. It’d only been days and she’d do anything for a vegetable that actually crunched. And had taste “ you can stay here till your ankles fixed… just be quiet. Stay out of sight. Last thing I want is my neck hanging from a fuckin rope because i got caught with an unregistered citizen. Okay? “

“ thank you “ she moved back to the table then, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say to you, and made herself look busy by counting ration cards. As if she hadn’t already gotten the exact number already twice over.

She was mildly regretting bringing you back. What was she supposed to do with you now? At least when you were asleep she didn’t have to worry about you drawing attention to yourself. Now you were awake, what if someone saw you. Or you decided you were in fact scared of her and started screaming or something.

She was such a fuckin idiot. Always acting on impulse when she was tired. And she had been after that hike from Lincoln. She was usually quite rational, but that all went out the window with you clearly. She should’ve listened to Joel. She probably wouldn’t even remember you by now if she’d just left you there. And now? Now she was stuck with an unregistered citizen in her apartment for fuck knows how long.

Way to fuckin go Tess.

“ I didn’t think.. I didn’t think you’d actually hurt me you know? “ you said as she stacked the cards, her eyes flickered up to find you watching her “ I just. I don’t know why I asked really. I actually feel pretty safe here. That’s stupid isn’t it? “

“ a little bit stupid. Yeah “ she agreed.

“ No one’s kind anymore. But you are. You helped me “ was she kind? Was she? She used to be. She wasn’t so sure anymore “ and you’re a woman “

“ nice observation “

“ no I mean. Men were shitty before but now? We ran into this group on the way here… I can’t remember their names but. They just took girls because they could. Kept them like slaves. Infected aren’t the scariest thing out there “ she knew that was true. Not to say that some women weren’t just as shitty. But the men were having a field day with the apocalypse. All rules had gone out the window.

It was stupid of you to trust her so easily, woman or not. She could very much have been planning to hurt you. Or demand something in return for her good nature. She wasn’t going to of course. But most people would’ve done that. If they’d even bothered to stop to help you at all.

Maybe she was kind.

By your third night- well. Nights that you were aware of anyway- in her apartment she was starting to miss when you were passed out. You woke up screaming somewhere in the early hours each night, thrashing around in the sheets and sobbing about things you couldn’t seem to explain to her.

So much for not drawing any attention to yourself.

She knew you couldn’t help it. Not really. She knew first hand from Joel. From her own nightmares that liked to sneak their way into her dreams from time to time. But you needed to be quiet.

She wondered if you’d been trapped in an endless cycle of those dream when you were unconscious. If you had been watching them on a loop as she attempted to care for you, looking so peaceful but screaming on the inside.

“ you wanna talk about those dreams of yours? “ she asked on morning number four. Remembering some slight memory of her mother telling her that talking about bad dreams would make them go away when she was a kid. Something she probably would’ve then gone on to tell her own kids. One of those small twists of the truth that parents did to try and make their children feel better. Something little and mostly useless that they took into adulthood. Even knowing that it wasn’t entirely true. But it worked a little bit.

So it was worth a try. Wasn’t it. Just because she needed you to be quiet. Not that she really cared. Of course she didn’t care. Why would she.

She couldn’t. Caring was dangerous.

“ I’m sorry I know you said about the noi- “

“ yeah you’re waking up the whole fuckin block every night sweetheart you need to get that under control “ she watched your face flush slightly in a way she had noticed you did when she slipped in the pet name. But maybe it was a mixture of embarrassment too.

It didn’t make you special. It was almost… condescending. Her way of keeping herself that one step above on the ladder, she didn’t care.

She didn’t.

“ I’m sorry I’m trying “

“ try a little harder “ you sighed and dropped your head into your hands, shaking your head. Were you crying?

“ I’m sorry “ you were “ I just keep seeing… seeing all the people and the blood and the rain and- “ she walked over to you, observing you like a injured animal that wasn’t quite sure what to do with. The kind where she didn’t know if it was kinder to kill it and put it out of it’s misery or to attempt to console it and bring it back to health.

Though clearly she was already doing the latter.

“ I told you. Tell me about them “ that came out a little lighter than she had initially meant. But she didn’t linger on it “ get it out. Probably won’t make them stop but. Might help “

You seemed to debate it, wiping at the tears on your cheeks and sighing.

She had to admit she was curious to know what was tormenting you. In the world they lived in there was plenty of things it could’ve been. They were 10 years in now and she still saw flashes of outbreak day in her dreams sometimes. Still remembered the first person she had seen infected. The first she had killed.

Death no longer bothered her. She had become numb to it in every way. Paths she had had no choice but to take, that had lead to her ending up that way. She did what she had to do to survive. But you seemed to still be coming to terms with the world around you.

You shuffled to move next to her, hanging your legs over the side of the bed with a small wince as you moved the ankle that was bandaged up.

“ me and a group. 9 of us? We were heading for the QZ. There was more of us at the start but… Pittsburgh is falling apart. A group of us snook out before it could get any worse. If that place lasts another year I’ll be surprised “ she’d heard of QZs falling apart all over the country. Boston was one of the only ones that FEDRA still had a relatively tight grip on “ we made it to the outskirts of the city… these runners came from no where and- “

She sat down on the edge of the bed as you tried to compose yourself a little, surprised to find her chest hurting a little as she watched you. Maybe it was because you seemed so… vulnerable. Somehow avoiding the hardships of the last ten years and behaving like the outbreak had only just begun.

She couldn’t help but feel inclined to protect you.

“ and how’d you end up at the bottom of that slope? “

“ me and 2 others. We made it pretty deep into the city, one of them said we should cut through the buildings. The road was fucked so I agreed. We got separated. Runners. Clickers. I just ran. Last thing I remember is the rain and and tryna get around the mess on the roads… guess I fell. Then you found me”

You’d escaped runners and clickers, and outlasted your entire group. You were really stronger than she thought. Vulnerable, yes, but still strong.

“ and that’s what you keep seeing? In your dreams? “ you nodded and sighed.

“ the others being ripped apart. Clickers chasing me. It’s so stupid I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet… I just wish they’d stop“ you dropped your head against her shoulder with a small sigh. Tess didn’t really know what to do. The gentleness of the act was almost alien to her now.

No one had been gentle with her for 10 years. Not even Joel.

You were doing something to her. Had done from the moment she’d seen you lying half dead on the floor outside. The fact that she had stopped at all. That she had brought you back. That in the 3 days you had been awake, the near constant 72 hours in your company, you had declared feeling safe with her. That you trusted her. That you looked at her and believed she could be gentle.

And Tess didn’t know how to react to it. What to do with it. She didn’t have a snarky remark to give you, simply out of fear of hurting your feelings or upsetting you. Which was ridiculous. Since when did she care about people’s feelings?

“ I promise I’ll try control it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe talking about it helped “

“ yeah. Maybe “

She had the sudden urge to tell you it’ll be okay. That she had nightmares too. That she’d lost count of the amount times she woke up in a cold sweat, images of her husband in a pool of his own blood flashing behind her eyelids, the sounds of her son fighting to escape the basement she had locked him in ringing in her ears.

Nothing haunted her more than that day. Everyone had their ghosts.

She didn’t even tell Joel but there she was wanting to tell you. To relate. To console.

She stood up before she could. Clearing her throat and heading for the door. She needed to get out of that apartment.

“ where are you going? “ the look on your face was like that of a kicked puppy, eyes wide and sad. She really needed to get out of that apartment.

“ I have shit to do. Stay quiet. Don’t open the door. I’ll be back in a few hours “ she pulled on her boots as she spoke, grabbing her bag and heading out the door in a hurry.

She needed to get back out among people that feared her. People that knew how dangerous she could be. Just to remind herself she was feared. She was dangerous. She wasn’t soft.

She. Didn’t. Care.

The fourth night was the same. She woke up to the clock on the wall showing 3:30am, you screaming at the top of your lungs and begging for help.

She got up from her makeshift bed on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get you some water, in the way that was becoming routine now. Usually by the time she reached you you’d stopped, but not tonight. You were thrashing around in the sheets, eyes still clenched tightly closed as you sobbed and screamed.

She placed the water down, her brows furrowed and sat herself on the edge of the bed. She grabbed at your arms to stop your thrashing before you hurt yourself

“ hey! You’re okay, look at me come on. Sweetheart, look at me. Just a dream. C’mon now “ your eyes flung open, terror swirling in your dilated pupils “ that’s it. Look around. You’re awake. You’re safe. You’re safe “

Clearly talking about it hadn’t helped. If anything it had made it worse.

“ no! Please- no! “

“ you gotta be quiet. Look. At. Me! “ she grabbed at your face, forcing your wild eyes to focus on her instead “ that’s it. Look at me. You see me? Not a fuckin clicker. No mushrooms in sight. You were dreamin again “ you seemed to register her words, slowly calming down as you took in her face in front of you.

“ Tess “ you whispered it with such relief, like some kind of wish in a prayer had been granted.

“ yeah. That’s right. It’s me “ you leaned into her touch, apparently grounding yourself again against the feel of her hands against your cheek. She watched you intently, the way you had known her for such little time but so clearly found comfort in her. In her touch.

She wondered if you knew the things she were capable of… if you knew the things she had done. Would you be so willing to sit there with her like that?

She let go of you and stood up.

“ no “ you said suddenly, fingers wrapping around her wrist as she attempted to return to the couch “ sorry I- “ she looked down at your hand, the way you held onto her “ I mean- can you. Could you… would you… stay? Here. With me “ she didn’t quite know why the word ‘ yeah ‘ flew into her mouth before she could even think about what you’d said. But she stopped it before it could escape “ please Tess. I’m so scared… I’d feel better if you were here “

“ I’m just around the other side of the wall “

“ please. You make me feel safe “ that took her aback. She didn’t have a single idea how to respond to that. Safe. She made you feel safe.

People didn’t feel safe around her. They felt afraid. They felt submissive to her power, they begged for their life, they felt dependent on her for their pills. They didn’t feel… safe.

But hadn’t that been what she had been trying to achieve? Hadn’t she wanted to make you feel safe. That you could exist around her and not be scared she’d hurt you. And it felt different yes, but. It felt nice too.

“ okay “ it came out far less confident than she’d wanted it to and she cleared her throat, trying to shake off the clearly obvious confusion she was experiencing “ yeah. Yeah. I’ll stay if you want “ you closed your eyes in relief and gave her a small smile, letting go of her wrist.

She watched you pull back the covers beside her and she got in, keeping a nice distance between you both. She had to admit it felt nice to be back in her bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of things but anything was better than the couch for another night.

It felt strange laying next to someone though. She hadn’t done that for a long. Long. Time. Even when she had made her way through her string of flings and one time things, she hardly ever brought them back to her apartment. And they never slept in her bed if she did bring anyone back. She never let anyone invade her space. That felt too personal.

And yet there you were. In her bed. In her clothes. Finding herself annoyingly thinking about how much better that T-shirt looked on you than it did on her. And trying to ignore how unbelievably normal it felt having you there now. Even more so how normal and comfortable she was having you sleeping beside her.

She turned on her side to look at you, see how at peace you now looked. Your face no longer screwed up in terror, or eyes flashing wildly around the room. The only evidence of your dream the dried tear marks along your cheeks.

She reached out before she could stop herself, wiping at them softly with her fingers. There was a small scar on your left cheek below your eye, she let her finger trace it and wondered how you’d gotten it. She had too many scars to count now. Her face littered with nicks and dotted with freckles from the sun. She wondered if the face she was looking at now had changed in 10 years. If the face you now owned had looked different before the world fell apart.

She instinctively tried to pull away when your hand suddenly moved, placing it over hers gently and holding it in place.

She waited for the embarrassment to come, to ramble some excuse and probably excuse herself back to the couch. But your eyes remained closed, maybe in fear of embarrassing her. Whatever it was. She was grateful. And she let you hold her there, her hand still cupping your face as she fell asleep herself.

“ alright. Come here come look at these “ Tess broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the apartment for the last few hours, drawing your attention away from the book she had given you. She watched as you hopped your way over to the kitchen table, grabbing onto things to keep your balance whilst keeping your injured ankle off the floor.

She’d been working on papers for you for most of the day. Some half cooked insurance policy that made it look like you were a registered citizen if FEDRA happened to come knocking.

Even if they didn’t work entirely they’d still give her enough of a window to get you out before they returned again. And something was better than nothing she supposed.

“ FEDRA do random door to door checks, checking for infection “ she explained when you slumped into the chair next to her “ When they can fuckin be bothered to do it anyway… but if they do there’s a chance they’ll question why you’re here. This apartments only assigned to me, but as long as they think you’re registered it won’t matter. So. Fake papers. According to FEDRA your name is now Christine Hurley “ she didn’t mention that the real Christine Hurley was in fact in a ditch in one of the back alleys of area 2.

That the real Christine Hurley had thought trying to scam her and Joel with fake ration cards was a good idea, and had gotten a bullet in the forehead for her troubles.

“ and these will work? “

“ yeah. I make fake papers all the time to get me and Joel in and out of different areas. Should’ve been a forger pre outbreak. I’d have been rich as fuck” you laughed at that and she almost hated the way it made her heart skip. You were making her too fuckin soft and it was annoying. It was frustrating. She’d known you barely two weeks now, some of which you’d been unconscious, and yet you were making her soft. You were making her feel. Which was ridiculous

“ won’t they still question why I’m here?”

“ yeah but. They won’t really care. As long as you have papers they don’t give a shit. Found me with a girl here before. Idiot didn’t carry her papers with her. Arrested and… well fuck knows where she is now “ your face seemed to change ever so slightly at that and she wondered why “ just keep them with you”

“ you’ve had girls here before? What make a habit of rescuing people do you? “ she scoffed at that. Did she seem like the type to go around rescuing people every day?

“ no. She was here for… she was perfectly healthy. No rescuing “ it seemed to take you a moment before your eyebrows arched and you gave a nervous laugh.

“ oh “ she wasn’t embarrassed, she never had been when it came to sex or her enjoyment of it. She wondered if anyone else would’ve been. Maybe because you didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, in fact you seemed quite pleased about it. Something mischievous almost flashing in your eyes. “ interesting “

“ interesting? “

“ yeah. It’s interesting “ Tess raised an eyebrow but you simply shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips that you were seemingly trying and failing to suppress.

It didn’t seem mocking. More… knowing.

She changed the subject.

“ well. There’s your papers. Keep em with you “ you nodded and scanned over them, learning the new information about yourself whilst you were inside Bostons walls. Tess packed her stuff away and stood up, taking it over to the kitchen counter to hide it away in the small stash behind the back of one of the cupboards.

“ was she your girlfriend? “ Tess froze for a moment as you spoke, glancing slightly behind her to look at you. You were still looking down at the papers, like it was a casual topic to simply make conversation.

“ who? “

“ the girl. The one who didn’t have her papers “ she quirked an eyebrow and turned around , folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter

“ why’d you ask? “

“ is that a yes “

“ it’s not “ you hummed a response, flipping the first page over to look at the other which listed all of the work assignments Christine had completed “ she wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t… I don’t do girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter “

“ ahh. You’re one of those people. Alright “ you said, smiling down at the paper and clearly no longer reading it

“ what’s that supposed to mean? “

“ nothing bad. I’m just observing “ you finally looked up, sitting back in the chair with amusement on your face. It was a nice change from the sadness that seemed to be settling over your face every now and again “ let me guess. You get bored. Or lonely. So you go out, find a find a girl. Or a guy. Fuck them. Then leave them. That right? “

It was right. And she hated that you’d read her so easily.

“ no “ you scoffed at that

“ sure. But lemme ask you. Do you really feel less lonely? When you’re with them? Or is it something else? “ she didn’t like where this conversation was going. At all. Or the fact that it genuinely made her think. No. Of course it didn’t make her feel less lonely. If anything it simply made it worse

“ I’m not lonely. I’m better on my own “

“ I don’t think that’s true “

“ yeah. Well you know nothing about me” her words were a little harsh. Defensive. She didn’t want people knowing about her, didn’t need someone trying to figure her out.

“ but I want to know “ you didn’t seem shocked by her tone, or her words.

“ you don’t “ she didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to tell you about herself or reveal things about her.

Because it would only scare you off. She knew it.

“ hmmm. I do “ you smiled as you said it and she couldnt help the way it eased the tension brewing in her muscles “ you don’t have to tell me bad stuff. Just. Tell me fun stuff. I’m so starved of like… girl talk “ Tess scoffed

“ there were no girls in your group? “

“ there was two. One was a kid. And the other liked to grab me when her boyfriend pissed her off. Then tell me after it was totally a ‘ one time thing and she was literally so straight ‘ “ you said with a laugh and bending your fingers into air quotes.

“ oh I’ve known a few like that “ Tess found she didn’t actually mind that topic of conversation. Because it was something she was comfortable with and something she could control. And didn’t directly reveal anything about herself. So she sat herself back at the table with you.

“ so was I right then? You just fucking your way through the QZ for the fun of it? “

“ I wouldn’t exactly put it like that “

“ so how would you put it “ you leant forward, chin on your hand and a cheeky smile plastered across your face. You were loving it. And Tess did have to admit talking to someone other than Joel was a decent change.

“ the worlds a pile of shit. I won’t deny myself small pleasures “ your grin grew at that

“ bet you have them lining up for you huh? That scary thing you do… yeah. I bet the guys don’t like that though, you whip them into shape too? “ you said and wiggled your eyebrows in a way she couldn’t help but laugh at. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really laughed.

“ I prefer women. They’re more interesting to look at “

“ agreed “ even before the outbreak she’d preferred girls. It was true, they were far more interesting, softer, squishier, easier to navigate. Prettier. She couldn’t help the way her eyes wandered over you, mind suddenly running wild. And from the look in your eyes, so was yours.

Two evidently touch starved people in such close proximity, with that topic of conversation was never going to end well.

And so she distanced herself before she could put herself in a compromising situation.

“ I have to go do some work. But I’ll be back soon “ she said and stood up, heading for the door and grabbing her backpack “ don’t- “

“ open the door. Make any sound. Draw any attention to myself. Yes ma’am “ you said, that grin still stuck on your face “ oh and don’t go bringing anyone else back here. You might make me jealous “ you looked back down at your papers then, leaving Tess’ mind still reeling as she opened the door and headed out.

—————————————————————

The nightmares came again that night, seemingly worse than the previous, leaving you in floods of tears after you woke up. And to Tess’ surprise you fell into her arms, clutching at her tshirt as you sobbed and sniffled. She felt her previous annoyance at being woken up fizzle away in an instant, replaced with a deep ache in her chest. Pain at seeing you so upset when you had been so happy during the day.

It concerned her slightly how much she enjoyed your smile. The way your eyes lit up around her. And how much she hated the tears and the sadness now plaguing your features.

“ you’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you “ she said softly, tucking your head under her chin in a way that surprised her as your sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles. You were gripping her tightly, fingers twisted into the material of her shirt as if you were afraid she was about to push you away and leave you there.

Maybe if you had done that on night one she would’ve. It was strange how much had changed in days. How being around you practically 24/7 had changed her thoughts. She didn’t know if she liked it. if she liked how you seemed to be wiggling your way through the cold exterior of her heart, like a worm trying to reach the core of an apple. Burrowing through until it could reach the centre and stay there.

That almost did make her let you go.

She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t have herself worrying about someone else. Caring about someone else. That was dangerous. And you didn’t care for her. You didn’t worry. So why should she? Why should she allow herself the stupidity of getting into something so clearly one sided. And something she so clearly didn’t have control over. It scared her.

She felt like she was in a car that had had its breaks cut, hurtling towards a brick wall and she had no way of bringing it to a stop.

She really was getting soft. Ridiculously so. There she was sat at her table flicking through a faded and damaged medical book she’d traded for on the black market the previous day, so she could try and figure out how to get you back on your feet again.

She was reluctantly letting it happen now. Just accepting that she was doomed. That for the short time you would be with her she would allow herself this pathetic softness. And the second you were gone she would have her control back. It was all your fault. Yours completely. Luring her in to believe she could feel. To believe she was allowed to feel. To believe that someone could possibly feel for her.

It was stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.

“ so I’m pretty sure just a super fuckin bad sprain. Says here… two weeks it’ll normally start feeling better. But can take up to eight to fully heal “ she said, clearing her throat in some attempt to distract her thoughts.

“ it does feel better than when I first woke up. So two weeks is accurate “ she placed the book down and went over to where you had your ankle up resting on a couch cushion. She peeled away the bandages she’d wrapped tightly around it to give it some support, pressing and poking slightly at the fading bruises.

“ can you move it? Wiggle your toes and shit? “ you did just that and she shrugged. She was no doctor. But she patched herself and Joel up enough over the years “ alright. c’mon. Up “ she held out her hands and you took them, they looked so soft and delicate compared to hers. A scar here and there but somehow mostly clear. Nothing compared to the scratches and scrapes on hers. The scars on her knuckles from the numerous times she’d split them open.

Hands like that didn’t fit together. Didn’t meet. Hands like hers didn’t deserve the privilege of touching hands like yours. Hands like hers didn’t deserve to touch anyone in a gentle way. They were for business. For hurting. For pain. Yours weren’t. Yours were soft. Smooth. Yours were made for caressing and soothing, for receiving soft kisses on the back.

She was losing it.

She guided one of your arms around her shoulders and helped you get your balance.

“ don’t try walk. Just. Just try put your weight on it “

“ what if- “

“ don’t worry. I’ve got you. Just be careful yeah? “ she watched you carefully as you gently placed your foot down, eyebrows furrowing as you did and hissing in pain through your teeth “ I said carefully “ you sighed and put it flat on the floor but still heavily leaning against her “ feels okay? “

“ hurts “ Tess nodded and held you tighter around the waist

“ try not to lean on me so much. You won’t fall over. I’ve got a hold of you “

“ oh you’re gonna catch me? “ you said with a small laugh, eyes flickering up to hers briefly. The tone of your voice made her throat a little dry and she couldn’t figure out exactly why.

“ yeah. Yeah I got you “ your face screwed up slightly as she watched you out more of your weight onto it and get used to the feeling.

She held you there for a couple of minutes to regain your balance before slipping your arm off of her and holding your hands in hers.

“ now try walk. Hold onto me “

“ I don’t think I- “

“ just try. Look at me “ you watched her face carefully as she took small steps back, helping you to get used to the feeling of the ankle being used again.

She was glad Joel had work assignments that day. She didn’t think she’d ever live it down if he turned up at her apartment and saw that. Saw her holding you so carefully and helping you walk again like a child.

But she found in the hour or so that she did it, her cheeks began to hurt from smiling. For once in her life feeling like the world wasn’t on her shoulders, happy. Smiling. You smiling with her.

It was nice.

“ you got it! Nice work sweetheart “ she watched the utter joy on your face as you managed to keep your balance on your own and walk before falling into her arms.

“ fuck yeah “ you laughed seemingly now exhausted from the small amount of work. But she didn’t blame you after so long unable to do anything “ can we rest now? “

“ we can do whatever you want “ she said with a small laugh, arms wrapped around you to keep you up right.

“ anything? “ you asked quietly, smile fading slightly and looking up at her intently. Tess furrowed her brows, slightly confused at what exactly you were asking her.

It took her completely by surprise when you leant up and kissed her. Standing practically shell shocked as you pressed your lips to hers. It was only a few seconds and then you were pulling back, cheeks flaming red and closing your eyes with a shake of your head

“ god I’m so- Tess I’m sorry I don’t know why I- “

“ you need to rest “ she said and cleared her throat, not wanting to think about had just happened for even a second. Not prepared to deal with the spiral it would inevitably send her down.

All she knew. Was that she was fucked. well. And truly. Fucked.

“ just stay close to me. Try not to talk to anyone. And don’t touch anything“ Tess instructed as she pushed back a palette keeping one of the exits out of the tunnels covered

“ yes ma’am “ you said with a smile and a mock salute, following her through the gap and standing patiently as she dragged the palette back into place “ will there be officers? “

“ maybe. But the ones around here are just as bad as the smugglers. They’re some of our best customers for pills. Turns out sending people to the gallows everyday can fuck you up. Who’d have guessed? Just do as I say “ you stood ridiculously close to her, eventually wrapping your fingers around her wrist as you both entered the courtyard. She wasn’t in the mood to loiter and headed straight for the people she needed. Trading off cards for boots, a new jacket, some shirts and jeans.

Stuff you’d need. That she didn’t have a surplus of.

Ration cards were as precious as gold those days. And she was spending her hard earned ones on you. She definitely wouldn’t telling Joel about that.

She found she didn’t mind though. She wanted you to be prepared. Safe. And the boots she’d found you in barely had any soles left. You wouldn’t get far in those.

It had been a week since you’d kissed her and neither of you had mentioned it since. Falling back into that comfortable thing you’d been developing before. Where you could make her laugh and smile. And you would tease her for being too grumpy which would make you smile.

It was odd how normal it was starting to feel having you around. But she always ruined the moment by thinking about the future. About how empty her apartment would feel when you leave. She’d gotten used to you. And she almost didn’t want to let you go.

Maybe she could work something out, wrap some officers around to her thinking and get you some official papers. She could train you up to help her with her smuggling, show you the ropes and tell you who the best people to deal with were. And who to avoid like the plague.

It could be nice.

“ Tess. Haven’t seen you around for a few days. Where you been hiding? “ she felt you tense beside her as one of the FEDRA officers on her client list made his way towards her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, one who constantly tried to make her lower her prices and was notoriously known for being too heavy handed with the girls he paid for. And had been trying to get his way into her pants for months. Seemingly thinking offering her his dick was worth a half price deal on his pills.

“ don’t. Speak. Let me do the talking “ Tess said in a low voice close to your ear, looking like she was entirely too fascinated by the piles of clothes in front of her “ I’m not selling today Marcus. You know I don’t get shit until the end of the month “

“ I know. I know. Cant I be friendly and say hello? “ she rolled her eyes, hoping he’d just fuck off and leave her be now that he knew she didn’t have what he wanted “ who’s the new pet? Following you around like a little lost puppy? “ you shuffled closer to her if that was even possible, fingers tightly gripping at her wrist.

“ that’s none of your concern “

“ pretty thing “ he said with a smirk, craning his head to try and look at where you were attempting to hide behind her. She surprised herself for the millionth time since she’d found you, when she felt a burning jealousy in her chest. She didnt like the thought of anyone talking about you. Even looking at you. Thinking about you. Which was fuckin. Stupid. But she hated it “ maybe you come give me a visit when she’s done with you huh? “

“ I don’t think so “ her voice was bitter, unable to stop herself from appearing as jealous as she was

“ what? Cant she speak for herself? Come on Tess. It’s nice to share “

“ not this one “ she freed her wrist from your grasp and draped her arm around your shoulder instead, pulling you against her body. You sighed a slight sigh of relief at the contact, pressing yourself against her. She tossed down some more cards for the clothes and handed them to you “ put ‘em in your bag “ you did as you were told, the slightly worried expression that had been on you face still there. But a little less now she had a hold of you.

“ settling down? You’re not the type. You send her my way when you get bored. I’ll be waiting. I’ll even pay you double on my next batch “ Tess scoffed and turned to face him, trying to ignore the burning anger boiling away in her chest at the thought of him anywhere near you.

She saw the state he left some girls in, the thought of that happening to you was enough to make her want to put a bullet through his head in the middle of the courtyard.

“ you know that’s not my game “ he shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender “ go talk to Robert he’ll point you in the right direction. But this one? She’s mine. So back the fuck off. And come find me at the end of the month for your shit. Okay? “ she enjoyed the way that even the officers listened when she commanded it, that the simple tone of voice and the reputation she was gaining was enough to make anyone do as she said.

“ alright alright. Stay out of trouble “ he said with another smirk, but not as smug as it previously had been “ and you “ he said, throwing a wink at you and walked away.

“ let’s get you home yeah? “ she said it loud enough that she hoped Marcus heard it. That you were going back with her. Not him. Never him.

“ yes please “ she could feel your eyes burning into her as you walked back, almost tripping up because you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking.

You seemed flustered. Frantic almost. She wondered if Marcus had shaken you up, overwhelmed you.

She couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. Once you both got back into her apartment she realised what had gotten into you.

You grabbed at her arm when she closed the door, yanking at her with a confidence she hadn’t seen from you before. You pulled her close and to her surprise yet again, you kissed her. For the second time. It was a lot more confident than the first, more… desperate. Your lips pressing harder against hers than she’d expected.

She found herself kissing you back that time, turning you around and crowding you back against the door. She knew she shouldn’t haven given in, shouldn’t be letting her desire her in the way of what she knew was right and wrong.

But she couldn’t help herself.

Maybe it was the pent up jealousy and anger from down in the market, kissing you being the safest form of release for it. And the most enjoyable. Not that battering the fuck out of Marcus wouldn’t have been thoroughly enjoyable. But making out with you? It beat anything else by miles.

It made her regret not kissing you back the first time, when your lips felt like that against hers. Tasted like that. It felt cruel to have denied herself of it.

It was the feel of your fingers gently pushing at her shirt that snapped her back into reality, made her see some common sense again.

“ hey. Hey we can’t “ she said softly, hands soothing over your arms and closing her eyes for a moment. She sighed and looked at you, your cheeks flushed “ we can’t “ she didn’t explain herself. Couldn’t. Couldn’t tell you that she was getting far too attached. That sleeping with you could well and truly be the final nail in the coffin that she was burying herself in.

“ I’m sorry “ you said, clearly embarrassed. Tess couldn’t tear her eyes away from your lips. Parted and glossy with saliva. She wanted to kiss you again.

“ it’s okay. Don’t sweat it “ she looked away before she could.

“ just. The way you were out there. With that officer and and the way you spoke about me I- god “ she found a smile tugging at her lips as she watched your flustered attempt to explain, groaning and putting your head in your hands. She nudged her fingers under your chin to make you look at her, noticing the way your breath shuddered slightly. You were so easy to work up.

“ don’t be embarrassed “ she could practically see you melting under her gaze, the low tone of her voice and intense gaze making you look ready to drop to your knees. And wouldn’t that be a sight.

A sight she had to remind herself she did not need to see.

“ go empty your bag, take a shower or something i don’t know about you but that market makes me feel grimy as fuck. Then we won’t talk about it. Yeah?” You nodded your head and gave her a warm smile

“ yeah “ she stepped away from you, watching you head for the bathroom and close the door behind you. She ran a hand over her face, a deep sigh shuddering past her lips. What was she doing?

Usually she would’ve kept going. Would’ve happily fucked you and been fine about it. She was no stranger to doing just that and then moving on. But there was something about you. Something about the anger she had felt around Marcus, the jealousy and the possessiveness.

Even the fact that she was still sharing a bed with you. And most nights now she’d wake up to find you pressed against her. Cuddling like a couple as if it were the most normal thing. That she enjoyed waking up to your smile, your eyes. You.

What had you done to her?

“ I think you’re gonna have to go soon “ the realisation of the fact had hit her like a ton of bricks that morning. Or maybe it had been sooner than that and she had been forcing herself to ignore it.

Your lack of reaction told her you probably knew that.

Staying with her had never been a permanent thing. But she felt she was pushing her luck now, the fact you had managed to stay as long as you had was a miracle in itself.

“ they found a whole group of unregistered people in an apartment in area 3 the other day. FEDRAS upping their random checks and… look I’m good at fake papers but they can only do so much. If they find out you’re not a registered citizen they’ll have you up on the gallows before you can even tell them your real name “ she ran a hand over her face with a deep sigh “ and I can’t fuckin see that happen to you sweetheart I can’t “

You didn’t say anything right away, which she hated. It meant that her words hung there in the silence for a little too long. Gave her that minute too long to think about them and wish she could yank them back and shove them back down her throat.

Then your hand tentatively reached out for hers that was on the table, fingers ghosting over her knuckles before gently squeezing in what she assumed was your attempt at reassuring her.

“ I never thought I’d even make it into Boston and with your help I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d kick me out the moment I’d woken up. I never expected you to let me stay as long as you have and put yourself in a position… I’m trying to say thank you I guess. And that… I know… I know you wouldn’t tell me to go unless I really had to “

She glanced up at you and couldn’t quite read the expressions on your face. It annoyed her still. How she couldn’t get a grasp on you, couldn’t get into your head in the way she could with others. But that didn’t matter anymore did it. You were leaving.

“ I know this couple in a town not too far from here. That’s where I was coming from when I found you… Bill and Frank. I spoke to Frank last night on the radio and he said you can go there for a few days. They have more supplies than you can fuckin imagine they’ll give you what you need. Franks real good with the radio he’s gonna listen in, see what he can hear and find you a QZ that’s letting people in “ you nodded and gave her a small smile

“ how do I get there? “

“ I’ll take you “ there was never any question in that. You’d almost died on your way in. Never mind the way out. You nodded, processing the information.

Talking to Frank on the radio the previous night has been hard but now she was discussing with you it made it feel far too real. The stark realisation that you wouldn’t be in the room after tomorrow. You wouldn’t be in her bed, smiling at her when you woke up, loudly commenting on the book you were reading when a character did something you didn’t like. Just your presence .

“ c’mere for a second “ you rose to your feet instantly walking over to her and standing between her legs. She ran her hands gently along your legs and looked up at you, her gaze soft “ I’ll make sure you get there safe. I promise you Bill and Frank will help you out “

You straddled her thighs, looping your arms around her neck and pressing your forehead to hers. It felt too… romantic. Intimate. It felt exactly what she had been so terribly trying to avoid. but maybe she was stupid for ever thinking she could live with you and be around you so constantly and not end up in such a position. You were like a siren luring her in, filling her senses and overwhelming her with desire no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. No one would’ve been able to resist you. No one.

“ I’m gonna miss you “ you whispered, so close your lips brushed hers as you spoke “ I’m gonna miss your stupid face “ Tess chuckled at that.

“ stupid? “

“ mhm. So stupid “

“ so stupid you try kiss me any chance you fuckin get? “ it was the first time you’d both actually mentioned either of the kisses out loud. But she guessed it didn’t matter if it made things awkward now.

You were leaving. What did she have to lose.

“ I have a head injury I don’t think my thought process can be trusted “

“ it can’t “ you twisted a lock of her dark hair around your finger, another thing that felt casually intimate.

“ I guess I cant be blamed then. Cant be blamed for this either “ she refused to let her fears get the better of her that time. Taking the chance whilst she still had it, kissing you back with the same gentleness you were. It felt bittersweet. Nothing could be bad about kissing you, but the knowledge she might never get to kiss you again? That was painful.

“ I’m really gonna miss you “ you whispered once you pulled away, short breaths hitting Tess’ lips.

“ yeah sweetheart. I’ll miss you too “

Tess hadn’t anticipated the heavy feeling in chest on the last night with you in her apartment. Unable to sleep and simply staring up at the ceiling as you lay curled up beside her.

She reminisced on the weeks you’d spent with her. How much you’d managed to wiggle into her heart and make her feel things she thought she’d forgotten.

She felt stupid. But it was okay. You would be gone that time tomorrow, she would drink. She would forget. She would carry on. She would go back to normal. She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her head telling her that wasn’t what she wanted now. But she had no choice.

She startled as your hand moved, sliding over her arm with a soft sigh

“ cant sleep either? “ she looked down to see your eyes wide awake and watching her. She’d miss the way you looked at her. Admired her. Never afraid.

“ no “ she turned onto her side, reaching out to tuck your hair away from your face “ it’s gonna be weird when you’re gone “ she confessed in a whisper, almost hoping it was too quiet for you to hear. It wasn’t of course.

“ yeah. I got used to looking at your grumpy face everyday “ she huffed a small laugh and rolled her eyes “ maybe I can write or something when I find a new QZ. Send radio messages. I don’t know. Something “

“ yeah. Maybe “ that would only hurt you both more she was certain of it. But she wouldn’t tell you that now. She’d let you hope and think of something good that the future may hold “ do you wanna try get some more sleep? “

“ No I can’t “ you said with a shake of your head and shuffled a little closer to her “ I can think of something to pass the time time though “ Tess smiled and slipped her hand around to the back of your neck

“ funny. So can I “ she pulled you towards her, capturing your lips with hers and pulling a soft sigh from you as she did. She regretted not kissing you more. Regretted not giving in to her thoughts whilst she’d had you, some half ditched attempt to protect herself. As if it still wouldn’t hurt.

You kissed different than anyone else she’d been with. Which sounded cheesy and she felt stupid for thinking it. But it was true. Girls that were being overly dramatic to try and get paid more or girls that were just like her. Lonely and looking for some form of human contact.

But you were… invested. Kissing her like you actually meant it. Tender and careful, soft moans into her mouth that were slowly working her up.

“ I thought of. Of something else. That. We could do. More than…kissing “ you whispered in between soft kisses “ if you want “ she didn’t need to second guess or even give it a single second of thought. You were leaving tomorrow whether she or you liked it or not. So what did she have to lose now? Nothing.

And who was she to deny herself of such pleasure in world full of a whole lot of pain. Especially now. Especially with you.

She pushed at you, placing her body on top of yours and caging your head between her arms, not giving you a second to even attempt to take control from her. Not that she thought she would really. Not when you had been so willing to do as exactly as you’d been told the entirety of your stay with her.

She felt ever so slightly out of practice. It wasn’t a lack of experience, Jesus if anything she had too much experience. Which she wasn’t entirely proud of but who the fuck cared? The world was ending. Had ended. She’d take any small ounce of pleasure she could seek out. You didn’t seem like the type for that. She couldn’t picture you slinking around in the less desirable areas picking up girls just because she wanted something- or rather someone- to do.

No. You seemed too… pure. For that. Tess wasn’t pure. Not at all. But she could pretend. She could pretend if that’s what you wanted. Though she wasn’t entirely sure it was. Not with the way your hands were grabbing at her, hands restless as they slipped under the hem of her shirt to touch her skin.

She kissed you until she had no choice but to pull away to breathe, immediately moving to your neck instead. Your skin was like a blank canvas and she was going to take great joy in marking it.

“ Tess “ you practically whimpered her name, pushing at her tshirt in some silent request to get it off. But she’d be damned if she was gonna let you get her naked first. Her fingers worked at the button up you’d gone to bed in, still working at your neck as she did. She hadn’t really liked the shirt on herself, so had happily let you take it when you’d picked it out. But on you? She almost didn’t want to take it off you completely. There was something about the thought of fucking you in her clothes…

She had to sit up to admire the view, reluctantly detaching her lips from your soft skin.

“ fuck “ she couldn’t help it, it left her mouth without her consent. The sight of you was enough to ruin her for life. Her shirt open and revealing your heaving chest, the blush creeping across your cheeks and the blossoming marks on your neck… oh she was fucked.

She reached out, grabbing at your tits and sighing heavily at how heavenly your body was. You’re back arching into her touch as she moulded the squishy flesh beneath her fingers, dropping her head down again to get her mouth on you too.

She was like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Tunnel vision and a singular end goal, you the only thing in her sight. In her mind. Desperate to touch and taste and fill her senses with nothing other than you.

“ oh god “ you whined as she flattened her tongue, licking across your nipple and testing your reaction. She knew you’d be whiny. Knew you’d be someone she could work into a whimpering mess with ease.

She had a knack for knowing these things.

“ you’re fuckin beautiful “ she said as she rolled a nipple between her fingers, peppering kisses across your chest as she did “ so fuckin beautiful “ she was stupid to think she’d be able to forget you with a bottle of whiskey. How on earth would she ever get the image of you underneath her out of her mind.

You squirmed around beneath her, small sighs and whimpers escaping past your lips when she grazed her teeth against your skin. Your fingers lacing into her hair and scratching your blunt nails against her scalp.

She didn’t let herself get side tracked for too long, she had an end goal to reach that resulted in her head happily between your thighs. And with the sounds you were already making and the way you were squirming around, she got the picture you were more than ready for that.

She moved back up to be level with your face, kissing you again and letting her hands wander. Mapping out your body with her fingers so she could commit the thought to memory.

“ please Tess. I need you. God I need you just- please “ you whimpered into her mouth, raising your hips up against her in desperation. If you had been anyone else she’d have denied you. Made you beg and edged you until she was bored “ I waited weeks don’t make me wait any longer “

But she couldn’t do that to you. How could she possibly deny you of anything you wanted from her? When you were underneath her looking like that, making sounds like that.

“ weeks huh? “

“ yes “ that made her feel pretty fucking smug. But also made her feel slightly less stupid for… whatever it was she was feeling for you.

So she didn’t waste any time. Moving down your body after another kiss to your swollen lips.

She pulled your underwear down your legs soothing her hands over your thighs before pushing them apart. Making a point to leave the shirt on. Part of her felt like she shouldn’t be rushing. But she was desperate to taste you.

The noise that left your mouth when she parted you with her tongue was heavenly, she felt addicted in an instant. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over. She never wanted to hear a single other sound for the rest of her life. It paired with the look on your face had a small shuddering breath passing her own lips, in complete and utter awe of you.

She had wanted to draw it out, to have you writhing and whimpering and wreck you for anyone else. But the sounds you were making and the blissful look in your eyes… she was desperate to make you come. Desperate to see what you’d look like, what sounds that would draw out of you. Maybe it was a little selfish, but she didn’t care.

Your taste flooded her tongue and she was like a starving woman eating for the first time in days. She was feral.

Her arms looped around your thighs to keep you in place and she went to town. She wanted to feel you coming on her tongue, wanted to see the exact look on your face, know the taste.

She felt like she could stay there for hours. Days. Weeks. Trapped between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, senses flooded with you. Your taste on her tongue, your moans in her ears, soft skin beneath her fingers.

Your fingers pulled at her hair, whining her name in a way that made a smug smile creep its way onto her face.

“ you know it’s… it’s been a while so- “ you attempted to form a sentence, gasping and arching your back in between your words “ I don’t think I’ll last- fuck Tess “ that was practically music to her ears. And a lively boost to the ego that she had you on edge already.

“ that’s okay sweetheart, you wanna come for me? Yeah? “ you eyes were screwed shut and you nodded quickly, pushing her face closer to your cunt again which made her smile “ I got you”

It was only another minute or so until you were pulling almost painfully at her hair, holding on for dear life as you came on her tongue. You were stronger than she’d expected, managing to trap her head with your thighs even with her holding them, keeping her in place until your body went slack and she she came up gasping for air. With the biggest fucking smug grin on her face.

She looked up at you from her spot between your legs, admiring the blissful look on your face, the droplets of sweat along your sternum, her shirt still hanging open on you.

She made her way back up to your lips with a trail of kisses. Wet, soft, open mouthed kisses that made goosebumps rise on your skin.

“ you good? “ she asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips

“ good doesn’t even cut it “ she laughed as you beamed a smile, open your eyes to look up at her “ I wanted you to do that after the market “

“ I know you did “ she’d wanted to do it too. But she’d stopped herself like the idiot she clearly was. She moved to lay beside you, still watching you closely. She wanted to remember every detail of you. No matter how painful it would be. She wanted to remember.

“ you know what else I wanna do? “ you said, shuffling closer and trailing your hand along her waist and across the front of her. She grabbed at your hand before you could move it any closer, effectively stopping you in your tracks

“ please let me “ you whispered, eyes wide and glassy looking up at her like she was the last woman on earth. She wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Even with you. Even with you who had never looked at her with anything but some seemingly deep rooted adoration and affection. Never fear.

“ you don’t have to “ it was rare she let anyone reciprocate. She didn’t like the way it made her feel so… exposed. Vulnerable. Like some baby animal being lured into a lions den ready to be mauled to death.

You reached up with your other hand, gently brushing her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear. She didn’t entirely know how to react. She didn’t now what to do with such tenderness. It made her brain flash with an error code like some janky 90s PC. Her mind coming up blank when confronted with such care and compassion.

“ I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please “ she was used to people wanting to please her. She could have any fucker running doing whatever she asked if she dangled a bag of pills in front of them, like donkeys working for carrots. But someone wanting to please her like that? To give simply because they felt like that, to not expect a single thing in return.

She didn’t know how to respond. Simply looked at you in silence. You seemed to see the cogs coming to a grinding halt in her head, eyes flickering over her face.

“ you’ll let me Tess? “ she still didn’t really now what to say. And it was starting to piss her off. She always knew what to say. She always knew what to do. But not with you.

You pushed lightly at her shoulder, urging her to lay on her back. And to her own surprise she found herself doing it, head falling against the pillow and your face re appearing above hers. That alone felt a little wrong. She never let anyone on top. Ever. Never sacrificed that power to anyone.

“ after all you’ve done for me “ you whispered against her lips, nudging your nose to hers “ you deserve something in return. Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel “ she could feel small tendrils of panic starting to wind their way up into her chest, twisting around her ribs and tightening. So she took back some control, hand slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you down to kiss her as hard as she could manage.

She knew you weren’t about to do anything bad. But it was simply the act of letting someone have her so vulnerable to them. It terrified her.

“ trust me “ you whispered in between kisses “ you trust me don’t you? “

“ yeah “ she surprised herself with how quickly she said it, how unbelievably certain she was of the fact. That she did trust you. In the weeks since you’d woken up she’d grown to trust you as much as she’d trust Joel. Maybe she was stupid for that.

She took a sharp intake of breath as your hand pushed past her underwear, fingers dipping into the wetness between her folds and softly circling her clit.

“ see, you’re wet. Pretty proud of myself for that “ you were trying to lighten the mood and it helped a little. A small smile trying to creep its way onto her face.

She was used to her own fingers and only her fingers. But yours were something else. Those soft gentle hands that she had felt looked so out of place in an apocalypse, felt like velvet. You watched her face intently and she almost felt embarrassed, it was odd for her. To be so exposed and so closely observed.

You slipped your fingers inside of her with ease, her eyes falling closed as she attempted to steady her breathing from the intrusion. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone do that, she’d forgotten how it felt. It was nothing like how it felt to do it herself.

You were reaching places she never could, breathy sounds escaping her even when she tried to stop them.

“ I wish you could see what you looked like right now “ your voice was almost awe filled, like you were simply amazed the sight of her. Maybe you were

“ shut up “ she said, breathless, pulling you down to kiss her again in some attempt to change the subject. Not wanting the attention on herself, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip to make you whimper into her mouth again.

She figured she’d be done just as fast as you had been, especially when you seemed to know exactly where to touch. You hit some place devastating, the tight knot in her belly growing and growing

“ fuck. Stay right fuckin there “ she gasped, fingers gripping your wrist as you did as she’d asked. Focussing on the same spot over and over again. She kept her eyes on you. Kneeling over her, in her shirt, the sight alone was enough to finish her off.

She pulled you down to her mouth again, scared she’d do something embarrassing like make noise, kissing you as she came on your fingers. Holding you firmly in place as her walls convulsed around you and her body rushed with heat, every muscle tensing before going limp and leaving her feeling like a rag doll.

She was breathless as she let you go, her skin on fire and prickling with heat.

“ well fuck me “ she mumbled. Throwing an arm over her eyes for a moment and to her surprise, laughing. You giggled beside her laying down and slinging a leg over hers, both your skins slippery with sweat. But she didn’t care.

“ I just did didn’t I? “ you said in the most innocent tone, simply making her laugh again. You both settled into a comfortable silence then, lazily kissing until you dropped your head.

As you both lay there, your head resting on her chest and hand over her heart, she almost wanted to cry. Which was fucking stupid. She didn’t cry. That wasn’t her.

“ you know you’re still gonna have to leave “ she whispered “ it’s not safe for you to stay here “ she felt your breathing stutter slightly and she knew you were crying. But she didn’t mention it. Didn’t want to embarrass you or risk making herself cry too by acknowledging it “ you know you still have to go “You gave a small nod. You knew. You knew this was always going to be the outcome, both of you did.

“ yeah. I know “ she was silent for a few minutes before gently pushing at your body, urging you to turn on your side. She pressed herself against your back, her arms sliding gently over your waist and her nose nudging lightly at the back of your neck.

“ couple more hours “ she whispered against your skin “ couple more hours. Then I’ll take you to the wall… couple more “ you rested your hand over hers and nodded again, tears welling in her eyes as you did. She refused to let them fall. She wasn’t that pathetic.

“ couple more hours “ you echoed softly, voice barely above a whisper in some attempt to hide the evident crack in your tone as you seemingly failed at keeping the tears in “ just a couple more “

#this took ridiculousy long to transfer but here you go #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #tess tlou #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfic #x you #smut #fluff #Anna torv #other characters for exposure:#Joel miller #Ellie Williams #Tommy miller

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c00kieguy · 4 days

Text

Transfem Aventurine

relationships: - summary: I think the title is self explanatory lol cw: spoilers for 2.2 quest at the end. using she/her for Aventurine. Angst. Self hate, but tbh that's standard with Aventurine. Also a bit of Argenti at the end bc I love him and must squeeze him into every scenario possible. a/n: Since it's pride month, here's me transing one of my favorite characters! I guess this could be sorta considered an Aventurine character study...? idk. Got way longer than I expected tho oop wc: ~1k

Kakavasha who admired her sister more than anything else in her entire life. She was the pillar she leaned on whenever things got rough, she meant everything and more to her.

Her sister was just the most beautiful girl she ever knew, so of course she wanted to be exactly like her!

She'd grow her hair out as much as possible but every time it reached past her shoulders she was told to cut it.

"But I wanna be as beautiful as you, big sis!" but that usually led to an argument, and little Kakavasha hated fighting with her sister.

It annoyed her a lot but she listened to her big sis nonetheless.

-----

Aventurine who was given anything and everything when she joined the IPC. Riches and robes and authority, you name it, but none of that mattered, not when these were just new shackles she was forced to don

When she first returned to her new room she was taken back by just everything

Not only was her new wardrobe filled to the brim with fancy clothes but so many expensive products and many other items she could only dream of having before.

She didn't want to feel happy, not when these things costed her her freedom, but it was price she had already paid so was there any harm in enjoying it a little?

Aventurine who gets increasingly more frustrated when scourging through her wardrobe. suit, suit, suit, more suits.

It was only when she went though the nightwear section that she stumbles upon a single nightgown.

A humble shade of light blue covered it entirely. A very simple gown that had a few frills around the chest, arms and plenty around the bottom. There was even a cute little bow right below the neckline.

The material was smooth to the touch, almost definitely silk.

Aventurine couldn't believe her luck. Not a single dress to be seen and yet there was just one, one that she loved more than anything. One that was almost waiting for her to pick it up and put it on.

So put it on she did.

The soft fabric felt incredible on her, and for the first time she finds herself feeling beautiful in her own skin.

Of course, with a new dress, it was mandatory for her to do a little spin and watch the hems of the gown flare out like a blooming flower.

"At least...I can have this." She thought to herself, a small smile already on her lips.

That when she spots the various makeup products in front of the mirror. What's the harm in a bit more fun, right?

Excitedly she sits down in front of the mirror, hand already reaching for the lipstick in front of her. Aventurine remembers seeing quite a few rich women wear these, mainly in bright maroon colors so she picks a similar shade. To think she'd get the chance to try it too, she couldn't be more thrilled. I wish big sis was here. She thought to herself. I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun playing with these.

Carefully opening the cap she rotates the base to reveal the deep red wax. But when she looks to the mirror to guide her on putting it on she freezes.

Big sis? No...it was her own reflection. This having been the first time Aventurine had seen herself in years it was shocking just how similar she looked to her sister. Long tousled blonde hair sticking up in odd places, never having been taken care of during the entirety of her period of captivity. And those vivid bright eyes, how could she forget? The sight had been burnt into the back of her head after all, the very day her sister had been taken away from her she didn't look much different.

Immediately dropping the lipstick she snatches the scissors from the dressing table and holds it to her neck. Her hair had grown far past her shoulders, her sister would surely scold her, no? Relaxing her grip a little, Aventurine takes one last look in the mirror before closer her eyes and starting to snip away at her locks in frustration.

The scissors were haphazardly thrown on the floor which was now covered in tuffs of dirty blonde hair. Aventurine laid naked on the bed, the gown long been abandoned in the trash can. Choppy hair flares out around her head as she stared at the ceiling with a dead look in her eyes. The moment of joy was short lived and left her feeling even more disgusted by her own figure.

I guess...I can't have this either.

Aventurine now dresses the way she's expected to. While it pained her to throw away this side of herself, it pained her even more seeing her sister in herself everyday. The constant painful reminder of what she had lost would surely drive her to insanity.

Aventurine who now has one more reason to sacrifice herself in Penacony in the name of carrying out her duties for the IPC.

Aventurine who's Just. So. Tired.

-----

"Are you alright?" A concerned voice calls out. Aventurine lifts up her head to see an iron clad hand reach out to her. Looking further she notices the rose themes knight armor and the vibrant red hair. Who is this guy...?

"To think I'd find a beautiful young lady such as yourself in this forsaken place. Please, allow me to lend you my aid." The strange knight says.

"Beautiful young lady, huh...." She scoff to herself. She was far from that in her eyes.

"Indeed! Your beauty shines even in these dire circumstances, like a radiant star in the darkest of nights." Aventurine is a little taken back at this, the knight seems to have assumed she was talking about the 'beautiful' part but she doesn't bring it up. Graciously she accepts his help.

-----

Argenti mentions a beautiful young lady from the IPC akin to a peacock to the trailblazer and Firefly but it just confuses them. Sure, Aventurine fit the description of a peacock and he's also from the IPC, but a lady? They're both deeply concerned at the prospect of there being another stoneheart in Penacony.

-----

Aventurine lying in her bed after being rescued, wondering what she should do next. She certainly wanted to live, that's for sure. But maybe there's someone she could talk to about this.

Ultimately though, she decides not to. The IPC cannot be trusted, and she was just oh so tired of everything, all she wanted to do was to escape now and perhaps start on a clean slate. The current chapter of her life was one she was more than eager to close, but it seemed the universe (or rather, the IPC and a certain Galaxy Ranger) had different plans.

a/n: I think, Argenti is the kinda guy who can tell you're trans even before you realize it lol.

#honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #hsr argenti #star rail aventurine #hsr #hsr fanfic #hsr headcanons #aventurine headcanons #c00kie.writes

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sessakag · 1 month

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I just wanna say that I absolutely LOVE Butterfly. It’s kinda the only fanfic I care about at the moment lmao I am LOCKED IN. The story itself is great, all of the characters (even the ones everyone hate rn) are interesting, the writing is phenomenal…I could go on and on.

I have a few thoughts I wanted to get out of my head. These aren’t suggestions (cuz it’s your story and I trust where you’re gonna take it), it’s moreso just kinda be me rambling lol:

Sasuke- I know you’ve mentioned he’s going to show up again later, but I’m so anxious to see the role he’s going to play. I don’t really want it to be a romantic thing with Hinata (I am a firm NaruHina lover lol) but I would love to see him be some kind of a protective friend for her? In my head he and Hinata already know each other; like they had some type of group therapy for traumatized teens or after she was removed from her dad’s care she was temporarily in a group home where she met Sasuke and they got to know each other idk. He knows her story and the pain she deals with, and is able to relate in a sense. So he doesn’t want to see her be taken advantage of. Idk, again this is NOT a suggestion lmao just rambling.

Strength- I would argue that Hinata’s the strongest character in the story so far. Even stronger than Naruto. She’s been thru absolute hell and suffers with severe anxiety and depression. The fact she struggles with suicidal ideations and is still making the choice to live is a testament to her strength. I hope that as the story progresses, Hinata starts to recognize that in herself.

Naruto- love the way you write Naruto in this; the chapters in his pov are some of favorites tbh. As someone mentioned before, I too would love to get a few jealous Naruto scenes. Especially since he’s starting to actually *see* Hinata and recognize his attraction to her. I’m assuming that as the story progresses, Hinata will grow into her own person and become somewhat independent of Naruto (like getting her own friends); is that something Naruto might feel threatened by? Since he does have a selfish streak and is immature, I wonder if he would have an issue with keeping Hinata all to himself.

I think those were the main ramblings I had. Chapter 8 is my absolute favorite so far cuz of the cute NaruHina moment we got. I know smut is probably a ways away but I cannot WAIT till we get to it cuz you are one of my favorite smut writers tbh. Anyways that’s all for now. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for us!

Thank you so much! 🙈💕💗so so so happy you're enjoy the fic that much 💕makes my heart do cartwheelssss 🏃🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️💗☺️🫶🏽 and thank you so much for dropping love in my inbox, I absolutely adore you all that do I swear 🥹

Ahhhh, you have some really interesting ruminations🙈

Sasuke- Surprisingly a lot of readers have been waiting to see how Sasuke fits into all this🤭I've gotten some incredibly creative scenarios and prediction from commenters and anons that I've actually added to his role and even moved his entrance up in the timeline😄This is a very interesting scenario and I really, really like it a lot! So many people really want a protective friend Sasuke and I can't say the idea isn't unbearably adorable 💕

Strength- You hit the nail on the head for sure🫡💕Hinata's inner strength is one that's often overlooked, underestimated and underappreciated when compare to more overt forms of strength, or socially constructed ideals of what it means to be strong, and I've really, really been wanting to make a point in the world of fanfiction, specifically the Naruto fandom of fanfiction, that strength is not always aggression, violence and bitchy attitude 🤦🏽‍♀️ because I've seen, for years now, this narrow, short sighted standard of who is strong and who is weak being perpetrated and it's always, always bothered the crap out of me 😤With Butterfly, I'm hoping to open minds and break molds we've been taught to believe are absolute👎🏽but are actually highly subjective👈🏽 I swear, so many of my fics are 'break the mold' type fics, lol, I think I just like to nay say the nay sayers, ya know, shine light on areas and topics that many may make negative assertions and toxic assumptions about while in reality, know very little about the subject matter at all. I think it opens the door for more compassion, understanding and inclusion ️🫶🏽 and honestly, that's what I'm all about.

Naruto- I love, love, love me a Naruto POV 🙈idk what it is about Naruto in particular since I love most make POV but it is soooo much fun being in his head 🤭Butterfly!Naruto and Prey!Naruto are two of my fave Naruto POV's to write in, both are so much fun in different ways 😄For sure Naruto's gonna have his jealousy moments, he's too hot headed and selfish in Butterfly not to🤭Its definitely not out of the realm of possibility that he'll feel some type of way about not being the center of her attention🤔right now, he's the golden boy, he's got the coveted place at her side, he's got exclusive access nobody else has, losing that, well, he might not be too keen on it🤭although, he's been trying to introduce her to his friends and help her with her speech problems, so maybe he'll take it as a source of pride that he's help her find her confidence🤔that's why I love this Naruto 🤭he really can go either way. Like, on one hand, he can be sweeter than cotton candy, some real tooth rotting sweetness, but on the other hand he can be a selfish asshole making scummy choices just to get what he wants😅he gets tunnel vision, and the only thing that matters is reaching his goals by any means necessary. He's just a really fun character🤭

I super duper appreciate you leaving your ramblings here!! I enjoy each and every one of them! Chapter 8 is near and dear to me too!! I enjoyed writing it so, so much, the cuteness almost melted my laptop 🙈💕 I cannot wait to do more sweet bonding scenes for them ️🫶🏽 that's honestly why my fanfics be so long, I get so caught up in just enjoying and marinating in NaruHina love 🙌🏽its like a virus I never wanna get rid of 😫 Smut is indeed a ways off, but I can't wait to get to it too 🙈 and tys, I'm honored to be one of your faves💕 Thank you, thank you for dropping by!!! I really loved seeing your ramblings! 🫶🏽

#ask #answer #butterfly #naruhina #ramblings #this was very enjoyable!#so much I can't wait to get to for butterfly!

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niki-phoria · 1 year

Note

hi ! could I request a comfort fic with Jake where 8th!member m!reader is feeling insecure and he comforts them while they’re shooting / on live? 🍨

he's so EKNLSNLSN i love brunette jake

pairing: jake x male!8th member!reader (no pronouns used) genre: comfort word count: 865

includes: supportive jake, implied insecure reader, didn't really have an idea for this so it's mainly small scenarios barely connected together, not really my best work tbh

a/n: thank you for requesting !! this idea is really cute, i hope you like it :))

requests open !! read my rules first

“y/n” jake’s sweet voice breaks you out of your trance. you nearly flinch a little at his sudden gentle touch on your shoulder. “are you okay?”

jake’s eyebrows are slightly furrowed as he slips into the seat next to you. you debate telling him about all of the thoughts running through your head before you quickly refocus on the cameras in front of you. “i’m fine.” you can tell he doesn’t believe you when he reaches under the table to hold your hand. his skin feels smooth against your own as he strokes his thumb against the back of your knuckles.

jake’s hand holding your own gives you a small solace from your own thoughts. despite being keenly aware of the cameras surrounding you, you allow your mind to drift again.

this time you focus on jake. his hand squeezes yours the way that he did on your first date. you’d never forget it.

jake had taken you to a carnival. despite your hesitance to get on any of the unsteady rides, he had insisted on you riding the faris wheel together. the view had been magical - nothing like you had ever seen before. lights illuminated the ground below you, bathing them in hues of pink and blue.

in the midst of your excitement you had reached over to grab jake’s hand. electricity nearly ran through you from his touch, though as soon as you noticed what you had done you attempted to pull back.

you only paused when jake squeezed your hand, holding you in place. he smiled brightly at you when you looked over. a small agreement passed between you: i’m willing to risk everything if you are.

you watch as the production crew changes a few settings on the cameras. thinking of jake provides a nice distraction from your swirling insecurities. so, as you wait for preparations to be finished, you continue to relive each experience with him.

it was just after a particularly rough practice. jake sat beside you against the wall as you panted, still trying to catch your breath. your chest ached as if your lungs were collapsing in on themselves.

you reached over to grab jake’s hand as if his touch would be enough to magically re-energize you. in some ways, it was. he brought your intertwined hands up to press a quick kiss against the back of your hand. despite being affectionate many times before, the simple action was enough to fluster you. he had noticed, chuckling a little at how embarrassed you were.

you playfully swatted at him as he profusely apologized through laughs. his sarcastic apologies were immediately accepted as soon as he reached over to place a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a sweet kiss - the first of many more to come.

if anyone has noticed you staring into space, they don’t say anything to you. you’re sure jake has swatted a concerned jungwon away by now. you’re grateful that he’s let you take the time to process things alone.

your mind drifts again to your most recent relationship milestone: your first “i love you.” the memory was comforting as it replayed in your head.

it had been six months together. you were sitting in your shared room with jake as he pulled out a small black box he had been hiding in his bedside table. he handed it over with flushed cheeks, anxiously watching as you opened it to reveal a small ‘J’ charm on a thin gold chain.

you had immediately jumped into his arms as you excitedly clung to him. he laughed as you pushed him down onto the bed and pressed little kisses all over his face. his blush only deepened when you finally said it: “i love you.”

the rest of the day was spent in a mutual giddiness as you took turns exchanging little kisses and small declarations of that same phrase. “i love you.”

the rest of the day feels like a blur. jake’s hand only left your own when you arrived back at your dorm to take a quick shower.

“baby,” jake smiles at you from his new position lying on your bed. “come here.” you happily accept his invitation when he opens his arms for you to crawl into. neither of you mind that your hair is still wet from the shower - staining jake’s shirt and wetting the skin of his neck.

you let out a content sigh as jake rubs his hand against your back, letting you nuzzle closer to him. you lay together in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before he leans down to press a kiss against your forehead. “do you want to talk about it?” he whispers.

“no,” you murmur. “just wanna cuddle with you.”

“okay,” he whispers. “there’s a new episode of physical 100 we can watch.”

“i’d like that.” you snuggle even closer to him as jake reaches over to grab the remote to turn the tv on. his hand never stops rubbing against your back. even as your eyes slowly become heavier. even as your breathing begins to even out. especially not when you finally fall into a comfortable sleep against his chest.

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dangopango00 · 4 months

Text

After Last Night (2)

Waking up with him after a hookup

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 |

FAT/LBC men x gn reader (Ayn and cael)

CW: Suggestive, cael (sorry i like him i just happen to also like hating on him), ok genuinely cael but its the fact that in his blurb MC is kind of your daughter

A/N: Ayn is my fave but i dint do him in part one to keep me motivated to finish part two 💀💀 mind games also im acc so obsessed with step parent reader wtf thats so cute

more utc

AYN / AI YIN (艾因）

- SCENARIO: Ayn is very aloof and he doesn’t drink so he’s not sleeping with anyone he doesn’t know well; you two are very close. You’re in the music club and trying to pick up/get better at an instrument and you pestered Ayn into giving you tips until you became so close that he basically acted as your tutor. Tbh you’re probably already in a situationship and you’ve probably kissed a few times but nothing crazy, you’ve never pushed it that far— well that is until last night. You hadn’t seen each other in a long time just because you were both busy and Ayn missed you so he had you come to his hideout and well shit happened

- He wakes up first but is incredibly out of it like there’s still drool dribbling out of his mouth and he’s only really half awake; he kinda looks dead in his stupor

- He’d probably just pull you closer, lay on you and go back to sleep to be so honest; he can order takeout for the two of you later

- He tangles himself with you like unbrushed hair. His legs and arms are all wrapped around you and he’s trying to get as close to you as possible and his breath is tickling your neck with how much he nudges his head against you and gives you a quick kiss before he goes back to sleep

- His bedhead usually isn’t messy because he doesn’t move a lot in his sleep but after last night his hair is more messy than usual because of how much he’s pushing his head against you lol

- Even if you wake up he won’t let you get up. Go back to bed, he missed you; he just kisses you until you give up but if you’re hungry he’ll order something from his phone

- Likes if you trace parts of his body while you’re laying down like his collarbones or running your thumb down his chest. Keep it below the head though, otherwise the ticklish feeling will bother him while he’s trying to sleep (he’s such a princess 🙄)

- Is actually pretty chill about the whole thing; it was only a matter of time in his opinion and will be a little confused if you’re super embarrassed because you’ve already made out before it’s not that crazy

- He thinks the situation is pretty simple honestly he’s just gonna invite you on dates and confess which does admittedly take a bit of time because he wants to do something special and you’re a little nervous when he doesn’t confess or anything but when he does it makes the wait 100% worth it

CAEL / YE XUAN (叶瑄）

- SCENARIO: OKAY. I’ve thought about this one deeply because Cael is like I think a confirmed virgin so he would have to be suuuperr close with you to want to hook up. So in my delusional little head you are a very old friend of his who helped him basically raise MC. You weren’t formally her step parent but you helped out where you could and ended up becoming close with the two. At first Cael was just grateful to have you for help and as a dear friend but as time went on he started to notice you more and more. You lived together and seeing you do random domestic things or just normal mundane things like doing laundry or gardening or sth was driving him insane. It just built up and randomly one day when you were getting ready for the day he suddenly kissed the back of your neck and confessed and things just escalated

- You wake up first and Cael is just lying so peacefully. He’s never felt more refreshed to be honest

- His bedhead is a little messy but it’s not really noticeable except for the bangs and he snores but he doesn’t really drool, doesn’t move much either; moves in between long intervals

- You run your fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead as he sleeps and you notice him crack a smile (he woke up a few minutes after you but he wanted to see what you’d do while he slept so he could tease you later)

- He loves it when you hold his face in your hands. His cheeks heat up and he has a small smile as he opens his eyes; such a small form of affection makes him feel so warm inside and he can’t help it

- He’d take your hands in his and kiss them then leading you to the kitchen so you can make breakfast together

- After all. That his infatuation is boosted like x10 like he starts drawing you just doing normal activities, thinking about you while in the middle of a battle among many other things

- However, he hasn’t slept with you since that night because he’s really worried

- He doesn’t really know how nor does he think he should pursue a committed relationship with you because tbh he could die at any moment and he has enough responsibility as is; it sounds harsh but he doesn’t want to have to worry about you and vice versa. It’ll take a lot of convincing and persistence to get him to realize that no matter what you’ll be by his side and that you want to take care of him and MC too— that you will always care about him no matter how much he distances himself

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luvring · 1 year

Note

Another one because i love this boy and i don't know if it's clear or not but what about MC being terrified of water ( for idk what reason ) but who tries to beat it so they can go play in the water with cove too so the it's the first time they actually go swimming together.

╭( ๐_๐)╮ i have no idea if this sentence is correct

Anyway have fun regardless if you do or do not do it !

COVE WITH AN MC SCARED OF WATER

gn!reader | ppl not good w water representation !!! (me) (it's me.) i think this can work for any cove past the step 1 memories because you know,,, the cast. i was picturing step 3 cove mostly though 🥹

there's a few ways to go about this off the top of my head: mc tries to get over their fear by themself, mc lying and cove finding out in the middle of it (higher probability with younger cove who doesn't know the mc as well), or mc telling him and them working together to overcome the fear. tbh scenario 1 leads to 2 anyways LOL

woah. just thought of another option where mc tries to get over their fear by themself first. to be quite honest i'm not sure how effective that'd be, and also if it'd be a good idea at all so i'd hope it also leads to scenario 2

if mc does manage to make a dent in their fear with their own research and taking a lot of time, cove might catch on just because they're spending a lot of time at the beach. whether he asks to tag along, or he actually finds them himself, it feels a bit inevitable LOL

scenario 1 (caught in a lie) — mc is standing on/near the shore while cove's already wading into the water, probably up to his hips by now. he turns to find them staring and is just,, so confused

he asks what they're doing, and if they actually wanted to stay on the shore, but mc's hesitation tips him off that something's up

when mc finally tells him they're actually scared of water young cove might ask why they wanted to come with him then. cue mc saying they wanted to spend time with him or something of that sort and cove being flustered immediately 🥹🥹

either way he's honestly so so shocked how he didn't know about this earlier considering his own affinity for water and where they live . ultimately he's understanding and tries to find a compromise; he doesn't want to make them do something they don't want to!!

if mc tells him that they want to go in the water he's a little hesitant, but their obvious dedication gets his compliance

scenario 2 (teamwork) — he's taking this seriously! cove asks beforehand what they want to do, if there's anything he shouldn't bring up, etc because he really really wants them to be comfortable.

he tells them about all the nice things about swimming and some of his favourite memories to try easing into it. cove talking about mermaids and different stories he's picked up...🥹🥹

won't go far into the water unless mc really wants to; he's happy to sit in the water where it isn't too high and just talk ! and if they want to hold onto him, he's right there

if mc can't swim and they ask cove to teach them ?? he'll definitely try his best. might run to get some kind of floaties or something, and also stay near the shore since he's never had to teach someone how to swim but you know

cove offers to get his surfboard so they could at least rest on it while he takes them around. he promises he's strong and will move slowly so it's no problem for him

if mc apologizes for taking their time, or they're scared that they've ruined his plans, etc. etc. cove reminds them that he wants to help, and that he's touched that they want to go into the water. getting over huge fears isn't easy and it's really admirable that mc wants to put in the time

oh brother. one of the things i despise is dunking my head under the water. i simply won't. i can imagine cove comforting mc by holding their hands/arms, telling them they only have to do it for a second, etc. it's about baby steps, baby!

they go further and further whenever mc is ready, and cove gets so so proud/happy each time. Dating cove with High Initiative? little kiss for every accomplishment. sorry i make the rules and i'm right.

cove won't ask While they're swimming or anything, but he does wonder if there's a story behind their fear. he asks tentatively, giving them time to think of a response and is of course not hurt if they wouldn't like to share then and there. he does reassure them that if they do want to talk about it later, he'll be there

even if it actually takes multiple 'sessions,' at the end of it all they both get to enjoy swimming together so it was really worth it ^___^ they can now both swim far out, or surprise the other from below, idk play marco polo?, etc etc

@dreamtydraw @lordbugs @xfangirl-trashx @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @bakugosgrenade @vhenis @anime-ships-gay

#cove holden #cove holden x reader #our life #ol:ba #our life beginnings & always

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w33nies · 8 months

Text

Qué Maravilla - CH.6

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Miguel O'hara x SpiderReader rating: E for Everyone bby warnings: none? lots of angst tbh summary: everyone and their momma looking for Miles. art is not mine!!!! @neonrockingvisuals !!!!

--------------- Ch.6 - No Laughing Matter----------------

Though he would never admit it, there were many things Miles Morales was afraid of growing up: snakes, lizards, ingrown toenails, identity theft, the list goes on. Within the past several hours he had been forced to confront some of the scariests worst-case scenarios he could’ve never possibly imagined. He couldn’t fathom not being able to save his father. Not only that, but have his last conversation with him be an argument. A stupid argument. Not even an ‘I love you’ or a goodbye. Miles could’ve never imagined losing not only his family but his home, in the process. He could’ve never imagined failing not only as spiderman, but as himself.

Miles was sure he had seen it all in the past several hours. That was until he found himself being kidnapped and tightly bound to a punching bag with metal chains in a dark, undisclosed location. That was until the figure dressed in all black removed his glowing mask and sneered at him with clear contempt in his voice.

“My name is Miles Morales, but you can call me the Prowler.”

Miles couldn’t see himself as anything but spiderman. He always thought that even if he was never bit then, at the worst he would just be normal. Up until now, he thought he was incapable of evil. That no matter how bad it got he would never hurt anyone. He would never resort to crime. Miles genuinely believed that he was an intrinsically good person. Foolishly, he had believed a good portion of the villainy he had fought was because the had some evil nature to them. Anyone could be good of course, but not just anyone could be bad. Right? The uncanny stare of the boy in front of him gave way to a realization that hit harder than a brick. There aren’t many things Miles would say he is currently afraid of, but just like that Miles found he had a new fear. A fear of his potential. A fear of himself

He took a deep breath in an attempt to quell his growing anxiety, “If you don’t let me go, our dad is going to die.”

“Your dad.”

Miles turned his head to look at Uncle Aaron, leaning against what seemed to be a workbench full of sophisticated tech. Nonchalantly nodding to the song via his vinyl record player. ‘Ain’t No Love In The Heart of the City’ by Bobby Bland filled up the entire room. It had been a while since Miles had heard his song. Uncle Aaron, his Uncle Aaron, used to play it all the time. It was his favorite song. It was a signature staple in his playlist whenever they would tag some graffiti in the middle of the night. He studied this foreign version of his Uncle. The slow absentminded sway of his head. The silent mouthing the words with his hands stuffed in his pocket. For a split second he easily fooled himself into thinking this was the same Uncle Aaron. The one that saved his life with his own. The only man in his life who supported his creative spark. But this Uncle Aaron was probably going to kill him or do god-knows-what to him. ‘Could this really be the same man?’ the boy found himself pondering. ‘We can all be good, right?’

He turned to look back at his doppelganger “What are you gonna do to me?”

“Only the best I can,” his alternate said mockingly.

“Please,” Miles tried his best to fight the fearful tremor in his voice, “You have to let me go.”

“And why would I do that?” Prowler raised his fist to make a show of activating his mechanical, clawed glove. Its menacingly purple glow being one of the few sources of light in the unsettling room. He then placed his fist so close to Miles’ face that he was uncomfortably tugging at the skin on his cheek

In response to this threatening display, Miles' discreetly presses a single finger against the chain that confines him. If he could break out of a futuristic jail cell, he was more than willing to try his luck with these chains. He turned his head to avoid the Prowler’s eerie stare and found himself once again looking at Uncle Aaron, who was now fiddling with his dying lighter in an attempt to light the cigarette already in his mouth.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you boy.”

“Don’t call me boy,” Miles' shaky breath betrays the stoic facade he’s trying to push.“I’m not your boy,” he asserted more securely this time. While he’s here he studies his counterpart’s face. He’s pretty sure they’re the same age, but something about him is different though. This version of him looks more rigid and hardened. Almost broken. There was a certain sadness to him. Not that he himself looked sad, but more so in the fact that he could tell he had it rough. This was a kid who never got to be a kid. Someone who had to grow up fast. ‘Is this how people see me?’ He asked himself, ‘My parents, Gwen, Peter… Did they? Do they ever see me this way? Could they?”

The sudden knee to Miles stomach causes him to lurch forward, well as much as his confines allowed him too. He’s left momentarily gasping for air as the Prowler resumes his previous stance and once again sneers in Miles’ face “Watch. Your. Mouth.”

He continued to watch Uncle Aaron through his peripheral vision. His final words replay in his mind “Keep going,” He had said with his hand firmly clasped in his as he took last shallow breaths in a dark, ruined alleyway “You’re on your way Miles. Just keep going.”

For the first time in a while, since he had first encountered the spot, Miles began to laugh. He laughed to himself almost like a madman on the brink of a psychotic break.

“You think I’m joking?” The Prowler frustratedly grabbed him by the collar, “You want something funny? I can be real hilarious.”

“Sorry,” the boy giggled antagonistically, “It’s just too easy.”

Prowler cocked his head to the side, “Huh?”

“What you said earlier. When you told me to watch my mouth,” He lifted his head to face the boy in front of him, “Everybody knows the first rule of interrogation,” Miles then put on his best shit eating grin, “Don’t watch the mouth, Watch the hands.” Miles then grasps the chains with both hands and channels as much electricity as he can possibly muster.

In the next instant a blinding seismic wave erupted throughout the building then followed by complete darkness. The record player fizzles to a stop. The T.V cuts to black. The only thing Miles can make out in the dark is the prowler's ominous, glowing mask. Soon after power flickers in and out. He swears he’s imaging it, but with each momentary blackout the mask seems to teleport closer and closer and closer until suddenly he’s right in front of him clawed hand outstretched towards his neck. Before Miles can react, the boy grabs him by the collar and flings him into the industrial pipes on the other side of the room, just barely missing the Television. Miles groans painfully upon impact, but somehow in the midst of this he once again steals a glance at Uncle Aaron who is holding his side with a pained look on his face; they both notice it at the same time, the now lit cigarette in Aaron’s mouth. Aaron puffs once to check whether or not he’s seeing things then he gives Miles a look he hadn’t seen in a while. The one where his mouth sits in a pout pushed to the side of his face and where he slightly raises his eyebrows. He didn’t say anything but Miles knew better than anyone that this was his own way of showing that he was impressed.

Before he can engage further, Miles feels a chill down his spine accompanied by the familiar voice in the back of his head. ‘LOOK OUT’ it says in an urgent whisper. He whirls around and sees the Prowler once again with his talons inches away from his face.

Miles leaps to the left just in time to see the Prowler punch the area where his head was just moments ago. He slowly stands, holding a pipe he no doubt had just ripped out of the wall. He crushing it in a fist like a piece of paper then takes another jab towards his face. Miles dodges, barely, again and again and again and again so he decides to take offense. He attempts to land a hit on him but he misses,barely, again and again and again. Even trying to handicap him with his webs proves difficult. After what feels like ages, both boys momentarily back away from each other, clearly out of breath. ‘I can’t keep going on like this,’ Miles said to himself, ‘Something’s gotta give.’

Miles regains his composure then shoots a web into the ceiling, using the momentum to launch him in the air above his clone. However before he lands, he activates his invisibility. Leaving Prowler stunned as he looks around wildly for the boy he just had his eye on. Punch after punch, and kick after kick coming in from all directions. He attempts to move from the onslaught but finds his feet don’t move. When he looks down he finds his feet webbed stuck to the floor.

Annoyed, he reaches into his jacket and holds onto the new gadget he an Uncle Aaron had just developed this past week. He didn’t need a bullseye, he just had to mark him.

As he heard the whizzing of his opponent flying through the air, he discreetly pulled the pin on his makeshift grenade then threw two paint bombs in the direction of the incoming assault. A small amount of neon green paint stains the silhouette of Miles' ankle. Not wasting any time, the Prowler swiftly grabs his leg and swings him over his head and slamming him into the ground. The harsh impact has Mile’s figure phasing in and out of visibility. Prowler grabs his chest, lifts him about a foot off the ground, and then slams him again into the floor. The ringing in Mile’s ear is constant. Prowler picks him up again slowly by the throat.

He grins to himself, “Too easy.”

“Stop messing around man, security switches at 6:00.” Aaron takes a pause to take a puff of his cigarette. “Wrap it up, then haul your ass to the lab. ”

Prowler brings up his claw fully about to clobber him, Miles is racking his brain for ideas.

“Wait.” Miles struggles to talk, “ You ever hear of the shoulder touch?”

“Huh?” Prowler is thrown off. Then he chuckles softly, “Shoulder touch? Man, I might've knocked you too hard.”

Undeterred, Miles puts his hand on his shoulder and does his best to give a smolder given the position he’s in. Let out a strained, “Hey.” and then zaps the Prowler.

A tiny small shock though is all he can muster given the current state he’s in. Luckily, it’s enough to immobilize Prowler's equipment. The Prowler smacks on his glove frustratedly. Sparks flying with each subsequent hit he directs towards it. Wasting no time, Miles lays an uppercut and a left hook to his jaw, finishing a jab straight to his abdomen. Prowler stumbles backward. Miles uses this moment to non threateningly raise his palms in the air, “I don’t want to fight you man,” he struggles to project his voice while gasping for air, “ I just want to go home.”

Prowler finally regains control of his glove. He takes a fighting stance, but then suddenly begins to lower his guard. “You call yourself Spider boy right?”

“Spiderman.”

“Cool, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Really.” Miles responds unamused, “You only just tried to kill me back there.”

“People change,” The prowler retracted his mask showing a smug grin, “More importantly, I think we can help eachother out here.”

“How?”

“You say you’re from another dimension right? Tell me how you got here.”

“It’s a long story. There was this ‘go home’ machine. It was supposed to send me home but it sent me here by mistake.”

“The ‘Go Home’ machine…” Prowler shoots Uncle Aaron an amused glance before proceeding, “That sounds….stupid. Y’all don't have a collider?”

“Well I did have one but I wasn’t in my dimension I was- Wait…. Wait,wait,wait, wait, wait,” Miles paused, “You know about colliders?”

“Yep. There's one right here, in Brooklyn.”

“Where is it? Please. I need it to get home.”

“Do you one better. I’ll take you there myself.” He examined his mechanical hand as if he was picking imaginary dirt from its claw , " Of course, you’ll have to do something for me...”

“….What is it?”“

“Your little zappy-hands shit you did a second ago…,” he says vaguely gesturing to his person, “...What else can it do?”

Miles relaxes a little and starts counting off its capabilities on his fingers “Um, well, break chains? But you already saw that. I can charge my phone, jump start a car. Oh I broke this futuristic, holographic force field several hours ago. It’s a long story actually-”

“-Cool.” The prowler cuts him off, “That'll work.”

“What’ll work? What are you saying? What am I doing?”

Prowler looks at Uncle Aaron, who gives him an approving nod. Then the Prowler makes his way over to the work bench and starts tinkering with his damaged gear, “I got a hit on a guy. He's a freelance scientist working for Alchemex in charge of some prototype for an inter-dimensional collider, name’s Jonathon Ohnn. ”

Miles feels his stomach drop, “A hit? You're a hitman?”

“I’d say I’m more of a… persistent negotiator," he spoke nonchalantly, “I just get results by any means necessary.”

“Jonathon….’ Miles thinks hard to himself. The name sounded familiar, he just wasn’t sure why. “You’re gonna kill him? Why?”

Prowler rolled his eyes with a groan, “Ay dios mío. It 's my job cabrón. But, If you can get me what I need I won’t have to.” He reequips his claw and walks towards Miles, slowly circling him like a vulture, “My…let’s just say boss, wants his research and Ohnn is a bit stubborn. Won't give up the rights to the collider. Won’t even sell it. Couple of nasty back and forths later and now he’s locked himself in his lab with some projected barrier. Nobody can get in or out…So, our deal is simple,” He directs a clawed finger to Miles" “You break the barrier, you get the collider,” puts his palm to his chest with a slight bow, “I get the guy.” He extends his hands for Miles to shake, “Do we have a deal?”

Miles looks at the outstretched hand, then to uncle Aaron, then to the boy in front of him again. “I’m not gonna help you kill an innocent person.” Just then Miles violently glitches. This one leaves him reeling on the floor, holding his sides in pain.

“Never said I was gonna kill him, but from the looks of it, cabrón,” he took a step forward and leaned down to meet his face.“You don’t really have a choice, do you? You don’t know where the lab is pendejo and from the looks of it,” he leans in even closer to whisper in his ear “you don’t have much time.”

Miles chews his lip while lost in thought, but eventually sighs, “You torture or kill or hurt this guy in any way, I’m out. Okay?”

Prowler once again puts his hand out for him to shake, “You have my word spider boy.”

“Spiderman.” Miles reluctantly shakes his hand , “It’s spiderman.”

“Whatever man.” Prowler's mask goes up “Just try to keep up.” Then he takes off. Miles looks at Uncle Aaron. Aaron gives him a nod which he returns, then Miles goes after him.

#miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #astv #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #miles morales #prowler miles #miles morales prowler

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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 9 months

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I've read latest chapter in EN server and indeed it's very rare for ML to stop MC from going down to the path of darkness. However, it raises an interesting question: What if MC, out of frustration, chooses to tread that dark path to protect Victor from those who have harmed him? How do you envision Victor's response in such a scenario? Because if it were me I'd tread that path because they deserve it for hurting our way-too-good-for-this-world Victor ୧⁠(⁠ ⁠ಠ⁠ ⁠Д⁠ ⁠ಠ⁠ ⁠)⁠୨

Thank you for answering!

HAHAHA let me start from the last, b/c while it’s the general mood for chapter updates, but for the last few, this has pretty much become the slogan of Li Zeyan wives: “[...] 狗叠!!! 老子才不去拯救世界呢，我要炸了恋语，带着李泽言跑路!!” the [...] refers to some very strong slangs which actually don’t have english equivalents to convey just how strong they are LOL. 狗叠 is a play on PaperGame’s name players mostly use when they are crazy mad or being sarcastic not gonna translate that either lmao and the rest translates to “the f*ck with/ screw saving the world! I’m just gonna blow up Loveland and grab Victor and run away!!” funnily enough, even players who don’t have Victor as their main were echoing similar words, which actually shows how his writers have been massively successful with their knives lmao but— anon, don’t worry, you’re not alone, that’s pretty much the mood of all Victor stans (including myself) 😂

going back to the very first part, you echo my thoughts here as well, and i actually did a long thread on twitter (yes i still do and will call it that) on this couple of weeks back haha. now, to answer your questions, S2 CH 31 itself was actually a crystal-clear answer to all of them.

i still remember just how intense of a fourth wall breaker S2 CH 31 was for me when i read for the first time— from the heroine’s monologues to her words, everything seemed palpable tbh.

the heroine unhesitatingly sacrificing herself and her life for the men and the world is nothing new around here actually, and it definitely speaks volumes of the love she has for them. but what struck a chord with me was how she didn’t think twice to head down the dark tunnel the second Victor was about to be attacked, and the only thing what kept her at bay was the man himself, which then made her re-realize how much respect she has for his beliefs and values.

the reason it hit me so hard was you don’t usually see the heroine’s of the otomes showing ugly, pure human emotions like this. the reason MC first used the black box, despite not knowing what it could do, was to “help Victor” save everyone on the ship. and literally within 30 seconds, she did a total 180 when she saw those very people were turning against him, for saving their own lives mind you. and then alongside everything she was trying to do, we see her monologues of how she couldn’t care less for what happens to everyone else as long as it meant Victor would be safe, or if it makes her selfish or cold-blooded, the things he isn’t willing to do, she’d do them for him— and here again, we see how she reminded herself the mountainous love, respect and pride she had for him that she couldn’t do something he was fighting with his life to not let happen, the best she could do was stand by him. it’s truly not a common sight where you see a male lead working as the core voice of reason for the heroine. b/c stretch it back just a little, if Victor had not stopped MC and she had proceeded with her actions— she would be going against the very reason the story exists, which is helping those who need it and saving the world :)

so, S2 CH 31 chapter gave us the clear picture that for the MC (like you and me haha)— her man, her love comes first, and if that meant the world would have to burn in hell, she wouldn’t hesitate one bit. now as for Victor’s response in that scenario– well, again, CH 31 showed us loud and clear that he’d never, ever let you do so for his sake, that’s how much he takes pride in his values and loves you and wants to protect your values first and foremost.

which is why, we often joke about how we actually have to “grab” Victor to run away and before setting Loveland on fire— i.e., knock him unconscious or something LOL cause there’s no way in hell he’d let you do that as long as he’s conscious 😂😂

—

#ask #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mr love queen's choice #李泽言 #恋与制作人

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equestriagirl16 · 2 years

Text

Here’s a drabble of my personal TWST MC headcannon that’s more so just an OC headcannon tbh, but I digress.

I like to imagine that in a certain turn of events, especially since it isn’t specified in game, that Yuu/MC didn’t have anyone or anything back home. Honestly as angsty as it may seem, I want something other than the typical isekai scenario where when the time comes the MC must choose between two homes. While it’s a classic and I don’t hate it I would personally be beside myself, and just want a story that’s pure escapism. No trading anything for anything. The world that you ended up in is a world where you’re meant to stay.~

So one day when you’re with Crewel on an outing, getting some food that you’re sloppily devouring he simply says. “You're quite the messy little pup aren’t you, didn’t your mother ever teach you some manners.” As he carefully cleans you up.

“I don’t know, never had one.” The silence that followed was almost deafening and Crewel could only look at you with a mix between confusion and concern.

“S-Sorry just popped into my head!” You tried to quell his worries, but he just continued tidying you up.

“You…never had one?” His voice was low while he finished, you looked off awkwardly being ever so slightly embarrassed by the situation you created.

“I never had a dad either, I didn’t really have anybody. I don’t think I ever met them, or knew who they were. One of my earliest memories is just crying in a cradle surrounded by tons of others.”

“An orphanage?” You perked up at his correct guess.

“Yeah, it was! Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t some Annie scenario, the place was fairly decent. Cool people, good food, good teaching.” You trailed off for a moment as you deciphered your own thoughts and memories. It slowly but surely all started to come back to you.

“I wasn’t alone but, anyone who looked after me wasn’t around for long. Any friends I made eventually got adopted, while I just stuck around.”Crewel listened intently but you could feel the look of sympathy on his face staring you down.

“Before I knew it I grew up, and you know how it goes. The chances of anyone older than a child finding a home are slim. It’s funny how that works though, you think parents would want less responsibility but nah. Just another cute baby to smother in love.” You say the last part mockingly to lighten the mood, but the air remained thick. Still you found it hard to stop talking, as if you broken some damn you spent so long building up. It felt…good to tell him, and you didn’t really get why. No one else so far knew this story, you didn’t want them to. Crewel was so kind and nurturing to you though, he really was. He's the closest thing you have to a parent and this is what parents do right? They listen.

“I didn’t really think much of it though. I tried to make something of myself since I would only have a few years left in the place. I got a job, some money in my pocket, but I still felt so..” You paused taking a deep breath, a small twinge of pain seeping into your stomach. Crewel placed a warm hand on your back, moving it in circles to coax you on.

“I don’t know, directionless. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself, I just did what I had to. I didn’t have anyone to guide me through it, to support me. I was lonely.” You finally admitted to yourself as a sniffle left your throat, but tried hard to fight the tears.

“So one night, when I got off work, I ran into the nearest forest outside town.” You cleanched your fists and let out a shaky breath.

“I was so sad, and I had no idea why. I didn’t know if I was tired, or angry, or confused. The feelings were just so big.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. Crewel still continued to comfort you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.

“So, I went to a place where I could let it all out, where I could get it over with. Maybe if I just let it happen I could finally move on.”

A memory flashed in your mind of you running through a chill forest. Trees blocked the night sky, as the subtle moonlight that broke through illuminated your way. Your breathing was hard and ragged, from both the running and your heavy heart. When you tripped and stumbled onto the ground, your body could no longer move and you let the emotions overtake you. Letting out choked sobs and loud whimpers as you held yourself close. Desperately shielding yourself from the cold and to sooth your pain.

“I cried, I cried hard. Until there wasn’t anything left.” Again in your memory, you slipped onto the ground laying still. Only moving slightly when a few stray hiccups left your body every so often.

“Then…that’s when it happened, a huge horse and chariot just appeared out of no where.”

In the final flash within your mind you were startled by the old fashioned vehicle, but so curious and entranced by its mythical aura. You pulled yourself up to your feet, and in a daze you sauntered towards it slowly. The doors to the chariot opened, and you could hardly make out its interior with how brightly it shone. You breathed deeply, and looked around for an owner or perhaps for a reason. For anything to stop you from entering, but nothing came. You looked back at the creature pulling the chariot, carefully petting it to comfort yourself and earn its favor as it responded with an enthusiastic whinny. After a small chuckle you decided, without another thought you gave into the mysterious pull and made your way into the chariot. Its doors carefully shut behind you as everything began to move quickly enough to shake you around. The last thing you remember were magical glimmers of light invading your vision, and then darkness soon after.

“The next time I woke up I was on the ceremony room floor, and the rest is history.” You conluded, there was silence but you broke it after clearing your throat in attempt to switch the mood.

“Hey but-maybe I was brought here for a reason. I mean, getting into the chariot did do me some good, I couldn’t even remember being sad for the longest time after that-” You were interrupted by Crewel who snatched you into a strong hug.

“Oh Pup, I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t, it’s not like I ever told anybody.” With one last squeeze the man pulled back, still gripping your shoulders sternly.

“You went through so much. Perhaps it was destiny that brought you to the wonderland.” You nodded slowly in agreement.

“But I wonder pup, would you still want to go back? To the life you said gave you nothing?” His words broke through as you looked at him wide eyed.

“You have a home here now. As selfish as it is, I can’t in good faith think of letting you return to a world where you aren’t appreciated. In favor of one where you are, by all who know you.” The sincerity in his face and voice hit you hard, you knew he cared about you but you never really thought about any of that before either. A million and one things ran through your head as you tried to answer.

“I mean I don’t know, I still want the option! I guess it’d be weirdly comforting in a way to know I’m not completely stuck here. Plus I don’t wanna say I gave up on one life to trade it for another. Wouldn’t that be kinda selfish? B-But I don't want to give you guys up, I just-don’t know I don’t know-” Crewel attempted to calm you down when you started spiraling, trying to pull you out from the rabbit hole you were falling in. He embraced you in another hug, squeezing you closely.

“Of course, you do not by any means need to have any of it figured out now. But you must know that you aren’t alone anymore. As your friends, as your family we are all here for you now and forever. No matter what you may choose I can promise you that pup.” While he comforted you in his embrace you tried to stifle the small hiccups that dared to come out. But after a moment you simply hugged Crewel back, and let a few stray tears loose as he rubbed your back tenderly with some encouraging words.

“Thanks dad.”

That night when Crewel dropped you off at Ramshackle, despite him insisting to take you to his home, you immediately flopped into bed. Grim cracked opened an eye and asked you how everything went, as well as if you got something for him. Chuckling you toss your feline friend a toy, to which he happily starts playing with forgetting your existence. You then take your phone out of your pocket and check the group chat you’ve made with all your NRC friends.

MC(YOU): Hey guys

Thing 1(ACE): What’s up y/n

Thing 2(DEUCE): Hey, how’d your day with Professor Crewel go?

Leo🦁(LEONA): How much you wanna bet he took them to the dog park again?

Cay-Cay(CATER): Or the rescue, did you take pics can you show me???♦️🐶

Main Squeeze(FLOYD): Maybe he finally bought shrimpy that collar he’s always whispering about🦮🦮🦮

Queen👑(VIL): A collar? Please, the man has some class. Now a handmade choker I can envision.

4eyes-8legs(AZUL): replied to Main Squeeze—Yes he might be taking the puppy thing a little too literally.

Litwick🕯(IDIA): did you get to check out the new console at the arcade I told you about, it’s fine if you didn’t though..

Gucci bucchie(RUGGIE): Or tried the donuts at that kiosk?

Howl🐺(JACK): replied to Gucci Bucchie—You just wanted them to bring you some back didn’t you?

Little rosehearts❤️(RIDDLE): I believe we were asking how Y/N’s day went.

You laughed heartily at your friends antics, but before ‘several people start typing’ you settled and began to type again.

MC(YOU): Yeah uh

…

MC(YOU): There’s something I wanna tell you guys

MC(YOU): About how I got here.

#this is just lowkey oc lore #and I may have hit too close to home in some parts😅#um anyways so-part 2 maybe??#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland mc #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst oc #twst mc #twst x reader

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bitchbot3000 · 8 months

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✨ Fic Authors Self Rec ✨

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thanks @firecoloredwater for the tag 💜 Tbh, I'm still trying to be more active on tumblr but I'm not very good at it, so if I end up tagging people who've already done this, we'll just pretend I didn't 😌 @silverutahraptor @insomnikat-mused You're up next?

Now, on to the recs...

A C I D U L A T I O N

Megumi / Sukuna | Explicit

This fic feels a little weird for me, I can't get a clear view of it because I wrote it over a space in time where I felt like something was changing in the way that I write (still in it, tbh), but there are parts of it I'm really in love with, even if there are a few that feel iffy as well.

Zen’in Megumi is an amusement. Something to toy with; twist and squeeze and bend until he breaks. He is also a threat, a rare and sincere one, and the thought of what he might become—more than just promise, more than potential, more than the mere possibility of being brought to heel—is perhaps the most tantalizing idea Sukuna has come across in all his years spent languishing amongst the chaos he creates. Unfortunately, something still holds Megumi back. Or rather, he still holds back something within, and Sukuna cannot fathom why he allows himself to go to such waste. Megumi breaks the monotony of Sukuna's lifestyle of lavish violence with his potential to become a worthy opponent. Sukuna will see that said potential is realized for the sake of his own amusement, and wring whatever else he can from Megumi in the meantime.

W H I R L W I N D S

Hashirama / Mito | General

Okay, honestly, this fic was SO outside of my typical box. It's sweet, it's soft, it's not explicit in the least, and it's canon abiding! And yet? It turned out to be one of the most naturally flowing things I've ever written. It was for an event that had a limited word count, so in retrospect, there are a few things I'd like to let breathe more, but it's not the end of the world, I'm still very happy with it.

Mito’s mother has been gone nearly a month. When she returns home, she returns with many stories to tell of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Hope colours more of her words than Mito might have expected for a land so recently war-torn, and when she dismisses everyone from their company for evening tea and hands Mito a scroll sealed with the stamp of the Leaf, she understands that it was for her own sake.

N O W A N D F O R E V E R

Aemond / Lucerys | Explicit

I fell into and back out of this fandom at light-speed which is probably for the best cause honestly, it looks like a hot mess, HOWEVER, I'm very glad I wrote this first. It's horny, the writing flows well, and it has incest! What more could you want?

All his life, people have looked at Lucerys and seen only what should be, rather than what is. Here and now, he can choose what others will see when they look his way.

M O S A I C E Y E S : R E M I X E D C 1

Fem!Izuna / Tobirama | Explicit

A few of you have probably read Mosaic Eyes, the Remixed series is essentially a series of unconnected "alternative" chapters, each written as if a scenario from Mosaic Eyes had taken a different turn. The first chapter was a total indulgence in making Tobirama the worst version of himself that exists in my head, and I've always been very pleased with how it turned out. He's a HUGE bastard. Enjoy.

“I think,” he crouches in front of her, takes her jaw in hand and squeezes until he can feel the bruises blooming under her skin, “that before you are your brother’s sister, you are my wife. You can scream from the rooftops that your husband has violated you and be ignored. You are my property to do with as I please, have no delusions about that. Your brother may take issue, but so long as you are alive and in my hands, there’s little he can do without risking you and your life is the one thing he will not take action against.” “You would ransom my life to continue raping me?” “I would have a wife who behaves as one.”

U N B O U N D S E R I E S

Multi | Explicit

Alright, last but very much not least, this series is my baby. Which does make it a little bit insane that I haven't published anything for it in about a year and a half.

When Naruto ended, I hated the epilogue, and I spent years afterwards considering what might be a more fulfilling ending for the characters. Eventually, this series took shape and I ended up with an outline totalling about 60k (rip). I wrote the first part, published it, and then life happened.

Now, I'm actually pretty glad for the delay, because the story definitely lacked direction and depth and it was going to be way too long for those not to be staples. I've done an unreasonable amount of revision to the outline, and I'd like to revise part 1 a little bit as well, and then get back to writing this in the new year once all of my other WIPs are done and dusted.

When the chaos of war has abated and the dust settles, there's nothing left but rubble and ash. All they can do is rebuild. A large-scale alternative epilogue.

#fic rec #chirpchirp

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shadamyheadcanons · 2 years

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Okay my headcannon is that amy was neglected by her parents because a freaking 12 YEAR OLD WAS IN WAR AND THEY DIDNT STEPPED IN.

I also have this scenario in my head that Knuckles and Sonic walks in on Amy and Shadow watching a movie (Awfully close 🤔) and gets sus that something is going on.

Hope you don’t mind if I combine these two.

The absence of Mobian adults in the Sonic games is VERY conspicuous. As far as I know, we’ve got Vanilla (old enough to be a six-year-old’s mother), Vector (20), and a handful of older teenagers--Rouge, Wave, and Big (18) and Storm (19). Vanilla’s the only Mobian parent in these games!

The only easy explanation is the out-of-universe one: execs wanted the game’s young demographic to have kids to relate to and teens to look up to. Things get messy when you try to read past that.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t try anyway.

I don’t feel comfortable accusing characters of being neglectful without any real evidence, especially because almost none of these kids have parents. Tails is eight, and he’s been on his own since his inception! Amy isn’t the exception, she’s the rule. Either every Mobian parent save for Vanilla is neglectful...or they’re just not around anymore.

Let’s look at the Sonic universe, shall we? Villains in this series take the forms of killer robots, aliens, demons, and even gods. Some are immortal and capable of boundless destruction, even genocide. We all saw what happened in Silver’s future.

The Sonic universe isn’t a very safe place to live. The most frequent villain is a diabolical genius who creates robot armies. He’s demonstrated that he can and will kill without a shred of hesitation or remorse, regardless of the victim’s age.

I don’t usually go the gritty route and I know I’m not the first one to point this out, but...would it be so unreasonable to think the parents all died fighting and their kids took up the mantle? Eggman’s age isn’t confirmed, but he’s a grown adult who could believably have been trying to take over the world for a few decades. Vanilla only avoided it because she’s not a fighter. The kids never talk about their parents, but why would they? It would be a sore subject for pretty much all of them. I had Silver and Amy briefly mention their relatives in Shellshock, but they were all deceased, and this is the unspoken reason.

I try not to focus on it because it makes me sad, but that is my headcanon. It makes the most sense to me.

That said, I’ll answer the more fun parts now! I love Sonic and Knuckles walking in on Shadow and Amy being suspiciously close. It’s especially funny if they try to tease them, but Amy’s oblivious or unashamed, so it’s just Shadow trying to hide how flustered he is, heh. Knuckles would have to be careful, though. If he ever tried to tease Shadow about Amy, Shadow could throw it right back by teasing him about Rouge.

As for the Sonic movies, if they do include Amy, I’m not sure how much they would bother with, tbh. Tails had basically nothing! I was so disappointed! When I saw the ending scene for the first movie, I was excited because I thought Tails was tracking down Sonic for some sort of important mission...but then the second movie just says he was stalking Sonic, watching him take bubble baths and stuff, and idk. That was really unsatisfying for me. I really liked Knuckles’ backstory, but Knuckles is a more serious character. Amy and Tails are pretty similar. We already had “younger character stalks Sonic and looks up to him,” so I fear they’d see Amy as redundant--both with her backstory and her presence. We know there’s more to her than that, but given how many times Amy’s role has been stolen before, I’m...trying not to get my hopes up.

However! I do have a story that goes into that. Someone asked me to do a high school AU a while ago. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it (sorry!), but I might as well talk about that one aspect. Amy’s mom really likes Shadow because he was a total gentleman when he introduced himself, but Amy’s dad is different. Shadow and Amy were hanging out in Amy’s room, and Shadow wears the required school uniform in a really sloppy, disheveled way, so the dad took one look at this, panicked, and immediately assumed the worst, even though Shadow and Amy really were just friends at that point. Later on, Shadow says to Amy, “Your dad doesn’t like me,” and she goes, “Oh, don’t worry about that! Dad’s just weird around my male friends sometimes. Don’t worry, it’s not you!”

And then the scene changes to the parents, and the dad is like, “I’m telling you, it’s him! My readings are never wrong!” And it’s explained that the dad uses tarot cards, too, and he got a vision/reading when Amy was young that she was destined to wind up with a male hedgehog, so he’s overly protective whenever Amy befriends one. He basically scared off poor Silver, and Sonic won’t sit next to Amy when he’s around. Shadow’s different, though. He doesn’t shy away from Amy at all because he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The mom adores this and reassures the dad that yes, his readings are always right, just not always in the ways that he expects. She says that she’s proud of how they’ve raised Amy and knows she’ll make the right decision someday--and if it did wind up being Shadow, she’d be happy for Amy because she’d be with someone bold enough to want to be around her even if others disapproved. The dad calmed down after that, but he did have a mini heart attack when Shadow took her to prom because he was in a tux and Amy’s pale pink dress was a little too close to white.

Of course that doesn’t really work for canon!verse, but it’d be cool if she had a parent who also got overzealous when analyzing tarot cards. I don’t know what I’ll do with that story, if anything. I like a lot of the ideas I have for it, but I doubt I’ll ever finish stringing them together. It’s an undertaking. I might post a snippet or two, but idk.

#shadamy #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #sonic the hedgehog #anonymous #and also another anonymous #ask

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cheesybadgers · 2 years

Text

Narcos Fic: Trigonometry (Part 2: Cosine)

Part 1, Part 3 - Read on AO3 - Masterlist

All In Universe Masterlist

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x Steve Murphy x Javier Peña

(Parts 1 and 2 focus on Carrillo/Murphy, but part 3 will be Carrillo/Murphy/Peña)

Words: 4,983

Summary: With Javi still missing, Carrillo and Steve visit his apartment where tensions finally boil over (understatement lol).

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Weapons kink, gun play, power dynamics, praise kink, handjobs, frottage, masturbation, unprotected anal sex/fingering, biting/marking, dirty talk, spanking, comeplay, jealousy, denial of feelings, brief mentions of divorce and open marriage, inappropriate use of prayer (there’s a warning I never thought I’d use lol), mild angst, swearing, smoking, drinking.

Notes: I have no excuses for this tbh 😂 Although it ended up having more feelings in it than intended 👀 And there are plenty more shenanigans to come in the third and final part as well 😉

Whilst obviously I do not own Narcos or its characters, please do not copy, re-post, or plagiarize this fic in any capacity on this or other platforms. If you wish to create any fan works inspired by it, please provide a credit or send me a message if in doubt.

Part 2: Cosine

Carrillo’s seniority made it easy to arrange a helicopter to take them to Bogotá in quick time and with few questions asked. They were still reluctant to officially call it in and gave themselves a deadline of the following morning. That would make it at least 24 hours Javi had been missing, but they couldn’t think about that yet and preferred to see it more as an insurance policy.

Once back in Bogotá, they crossed the threshold of Javi’s apartment and shut the door behind them. The place seemed smaller now that it was just the two of them, as though the walls were closing in and there was no way out.

They both tried to ignore it in favour of looking for any clues instead. Although much like the absence of Javi in his own apartment, the negative space was the problem. The way that things which were unsaid or unaddressed were there nonetheless. It was the implied intimacy of Carrillo knowing his way around and of Steve and Javi having spare keys to each other’s apartments. It was the way the three of them had avoided each other since that fateful night, yet it was clearly all they could think about. It was the way Steve and Carrillo refused to talk about the worst-case scenario for Javi because then they would have to admit they had thought about it in the first place.

However, there was no sign that Javi had been here recently. His bed was still made, there were no messages or missed calls on his machine, and it didn’t look like anyone had broken in or taken anything. It was like the man had simply vanished.

Carrillo took two glass tumblers out of the drinks cabinet and filled them with whatever bottle Javier already had open. He slid one across the kitchen counter towards Steve, who eyed it with great suspicion.

“Don’t worry, I’m not poisoning you.”

Steve pinned Carrillo with a look of intense irritation but accepted the drink with a reluctant thanks.

Whilst Steve nursed his glass, Carrillo pulled his phone out of his pocket, dipped into Javi’s bedroom and closed the door.

Steve wasn’t intentionally listening, but it was hard not to be overheard in this place when the walls were so thin. From what he did catch, it was clear Carrillo was telling his wife he wouldn’t be home tonight.

Steve brought the tumbler to his mouth, suddenly hyper-aware of what else had been pressed against it only hours ago. And in Carrillo’s office several weeks before that. He tipped his head back and downed the lot in one.

Carrillo’s phone call was brief, and he soon returned to the kitchen. As far as Steve was concerned, he’d kept his face and body language neutral, but apparently not from the way that Carrillo was now glaring at him. A look that managed to convey My marriage is off-limits, you don’t know the first thing about our arrangement, and at least I still have a wife.

It worked for them, and that’s what mattered. Not that Carrillo had intended to become entangled with two DEA agents like this, but then he didn’t plan for lots of things around here. Given the intensity of their line of employment, he figured it was an occupational hazard. It didn’t mean he loved Juliana any less, and he didn’t have to explain that to anyone, least of all Murphy.

Whatever the look was had the desired effect as Steve immediately backed off and made to refill his glass. “So, what’s the plan, now?”

“We’ll give the place another once-over, just in case. And then we wait.”

“That’s it? We wait?”

“Yes, we wait. Unless you’ve got any better ideas?”

Of course, Steve didn’t. And he hated that he was deferring to Carrillo’s judgement so much as if he wasn’t a fucking police officer himself. “Fine. We wait.”

------------------------------------------------------

It was well past midnight by the time they came to an impasse, their second search of the apartment throwing up nothing. They admitted defeat after they resorted to checking through Javi’s wardrobe and drawers as though he or any clues were hiding in them.

“I think we’re best just staying put here, for now. See if he turns up over the next few hours. If not, it’s time to call your boss.”

Steve gave a resigned sigh and sat down on the edge of Javi’s bed, resting his head on the heel of his hand. “Makes sense.”

He bent down to untie his laces and kicked off his boots.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“You live upstairs.”

“Javi isn’t gonna turn up there though, is he? If you’re staying put here, then so am I.”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me. You have a phone, I presume?”

Steve rose from the bed with a scoff and turned to face Carrillo, who looked just as, if not more, murderous than back in Medellín.

“Nice try icing me out again.”

“If only.”

They stood dangerously close once again, Steve lowering his head just as Carrillo raised his, allowing them to square up to each other despite their significant height difference.

“Oh yeah, just try it.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Do your worst.”

Their lips were tantalisingly close, swallowing each other’s breath as their noses bumped together now that there was no knife to act as a barrier.

Neither wanted to be the one to instigate what they knew to be annoyingly inevitable by now. But somehow, they both surrendered at once, closing the gap and triggering an explosion of ferocious kisses, clashing tongues and harsh lip bites that left a metallic taste in their wake. There was nothing tender about it as they clawed at each other’s clothes, roughly shoving the other against Javi’s furniture as they undressed.

Jolts of arousal and guilt shot through each man as they ended up on Javi’s bed, distracting themselves from imagining the worst about the owner of the sheets they were now tangled up in.

They settled into a wrestling match, one pinning the other down by the wrists before overpowering him and reversing the position. Each battling to be in charge, much like their joint encounter with Javi. In the end, they compromised by lying on their sides. Large calloused palms seized around each other’s cocks, neither showing mercy as they groped, tugged and squeezed.

Carrillo laved his tongue along the expanse of Steve’s slender neck before clamping his teeth down and making Steve shiver and squirm.

For several blissful seconds, Steve couldn't react and merely leaned into it. His eyelids fluttered shut, and his head rolled back as he let the sensation consume him. Until he remembered who was the cause of it.

He came to his senses and retaliated by sinking his teeth into the thick muscle of Carrillo’s shoulder with a snarl. He sucked at the skin until it reddened beneath him, not caring that he had no doubt crossed a line by leaving a mark.

To Steve’s surprise, Carrillo groaned at the contact and twitched in his palm. So, he did it again, deepening the colour of the bruise until it was almost purple and glossy with saliva in the dim light of the bedroom. The primal noises he was drawing out of Carrillo were like nothing Steve had ever heard from him before, not even when witnessing him with Javi.

With Steve distracted by that curious thought, Carrillo took advantage and increased the speed of his strokes with one hand whilst clutching at Steve’s hair with the other.

“You’re such an arrogant pain in the ass,” he ground out through gritted teeth.

Steve gasped and shuddered at the lethal combination of Carrillo’s words and actions. “Takes one to know one.”

He tried to disguise how fucking good Carrillo’s fingers felt pulling on his scalp. But not well enough as Carrillo just did it harder, tipping Steve’s head back with force and eliciting a symphony of lascivious sounds from his throat. That was when it hit Steve why he had been so fascinated watching Carrillo work earlier that night. A fucked up thought he couldn’t analyse in the here and now, so he pushed it down and focused on the pleasure/pain of Carrillo’s ministrations instead.

“Guess I’ll have to shove my cock down your throat again to make you stop talking. Or maybe reacquaint you with my knife.”

Steve’s entire body spasmed at the mention of the knife, and there was no way Carrillo hadn’t noticed. He closed his eyes, drawing in calming breaths as he felt a familiar pressure in his balls, not wanting to give Carrillo the satisfaction. Not yet, anyway.

But Carrillo kept going. “Such a dark horse, Murphy. I always knew I could corrupt you if I had the chance. I wonder what else you’d let me do to you?”

To finally give voice to the fantasy Carrillo had harboured ever since Steve showed up in Colombia was intoxicating. Obviously, he hadn’t expected it to play out quite like this, and Javier had been the catalyst. But there was a satisfying sense of vindication about all of it.

Steve was breathless and overwhelmed by Carrillo’s sinful words, but he didn’t want this to be over. It was time to give Carrillo a taste of his own medicine.

“And what would you let me do to you, hmm? Don’t think I didn’t see the way you were lookin’ at my gun tonight.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Carrillo rasped with an uncharacteristic lack of conviction.

“Is that right?” Before he considered what he was doing, Steve moved off the bed to retrieve his jeans from the long-forgotten pile of clothes on the floor. He fished out his gun and resumed his place.

Carrillo carried an unreadable expression, but he accepted the gun Steve held out for him. Their fingers briefly connected in the process; an act that made them more nervous than the weapon in their hands. Carrillo took his time to ensure the safety was on and handed it back without saying a word.

Steve stared down at his palm, grappling with the notion of what was about to happen. What he was about to do. The incident with the knife was impromptu, in the open air, and they were both fully clothed. This was different; it was deliberate, premeditated, intimate. It was Carrillo putting his full trust in Steve. Something Steve had accepted might never happen. His ego was too fragile to admit how much it bothered him, but this blew past insecurities out of the water.

It was tempting to run away and lock himself in his apartment for the foreseeable. But he stepped outside his head for a second and paid attention to his body. To the way that his cock throbbed, and his stomach knotted with a new kind of arousal. Something undiscovered and unknown, but something that had probably laid dormant for longer than he realised. He looked up at Carrillo and saw the same hunger in his eyes.

So, Steve dived in head first, covering Carrillo’s form with his own, the gun placed on the sheets next to them for the time being. Steve kissed, licked and nipped his way up and down Carrillo’s torso. He had a newly found confidence zipping through him as he adjusted the speed, placement and pressure depending on Carrillo’s reactions. For a man that was usually stoic to the extreme, it was a power trip to loosen up the Colonel’s buttons like this.

When it was clear they both needed more, Steve gripped the gun in his right hand, checking once more that the safety was still on. He sat up so that he was straddling Carrillo’s thighs, the anticipation evident from the piercing gaze they shared, all the way to their heaving chests and flushed cheeks.

Steve used Carrillo’s forehead as a starting point. He slowly dragged the gun’s muzzle down the bridge of Carrillo’s nose, brushing over his Cupid’s bow and mouth but not lingering - not yet. He paused at his chin, where he increased the pressure and made Carrillo’s Adam’s apple bob again, much like in his office earlier that day. An event that may as well have been months ago for all that had happened since.

He continued his path down Carrillo’s chest and abdomen until he met the dark trail of hairs above his pubic bone.

Carrillo’s cock brushed against Steve’s wrist, causing him to push up against the cold metal of the gun. He let out a low grunt at the friction and badly wanted to do it again.

But Steve was too quick, and his free hand stilled Carrillo’s hips with one simple but effective motion. “Not yet.”

Carrillo’s eyes darkened at Steve’s whispered words that oozed with a quiet sense of authority, unsure whether to be impressed or threatened by the monster he had apparently helped create.

Steve so often expended unnecessary energy with the way he went about things. From what Carrillo had witnessed and what Javier had told him, he knew that Steve was handy with his fists, not afraid to throw his weight around to get what he wanted. Aggression for the sake of aggression, which wasn’t Carrillo’s style. He preferred more efficient methods. So, to see Steve exercise restraint and patience was more arousing than he cared to admit.

Steve re-tread his steps along Carrillo’s torso, branching left then right. Teasing each nipple in turn, like he was making a depraved sign of the cross on Carrillo’s body. Steve wasn’t usually a praying man, but figured there were exceptions to every rule.

In spite of his best efforts to conceal it, Carrillo trembled, every scrape of the gun raising goosebumps, his fists clenching into the sheets by the time Steve lifted it back up to his face.

He traced patterns over Carrillo’s cheeks before painting his lips with the muzzle. Top lip first, then bottom, where Steve waited for Carrillo to take the bait.

And Carrillo took it greedily, sucking it into his mouth with abandon, and this time when he bucked his hips, Steve didn’t stop him. Their grinding matched the rhythm of Carrillo’s mouth, the sweat coating their bodies adding to the slip-and-slide. The way Carrillo’s lips parted around the weapon planting ideas in both men’s minds that only spurred them on further.

Steve eventually removed the gun from Carrillo’s mouth, unable and unwilling to explain being hit by a wave of irrational jealousy over an inanimate object. Instead, he quickly replaced it with his lips, tongue, and teeth, the reticence from earlier no more. But Carrillo was as far gone as Steve and made no objection to the heated frenzy they were wrapped up in.

One of Carrillo’s hands found its way back to Steve’s hair and tugged. “I want you face down on the bed.”

The authoritative timbre of Carrillo’s instruction made it impossible for Steve to do anything but comply. Such few words were spoken, but each one was as efficient and controlled as the man behind them.

Steve lay face down on Javi’s sheets, the gun now forgotten on the nightstand. The scent of fabric softener and something undeniably Javi hit him whilst Carrillo temporarily shifted off the mattress. The rumble of a drawer was next, followed by the click of a lid opening and closing.

All Steve could hear was his pulse thudding in his ears and the heavy breaths falling from his mouth. Trepidation mounted as he contemplated Carrillo’s next move. Would he feel the warmth of skin on skin any second now or the cold barrel of a gun? And more to the point, which would he prefer? Right now, he couldn’t say. He just needed Carrillo to do something.

His questions were soon answered when his legs were swiftly parted. A thick finger coated in lube swiped between his cheeks, teasing over his entrance a few times before risking a light nudge.

Steve was almost embarrassed by his reaction to such a ghost touch, his limbs twitching as he moaned into the sheets.

“Look at you, Murphy. Like putty in my hand already. Think you can take it?” As he asked that question, his finger probed further and eased passed a slight resistance.

“You – you know I can.” Steve fought to keep his composure as the pressure increased on his cock trapped against the mattress. It would have been so easy to hump the bed, scratch an itch and move on, but he couldn’t do it. Much like when he had his back against a wall and a knife to his throat, he willed himself to keep still.

“How about another finger?” With one now buried in Steve, he teased in circles with the knuckle of another.

Steve’s fist thumped into the pillow above his head. “Fuck…yes.”

Carrillo halted his movements but didn’t withdraw. “Yes, what?”

Fucker. Absolute fucker. But Steve didn’t voice his annoyance. He let out a humiliating plea into the depths of the mattress, hoping that by burying his face into the sheets, he wouldn’t have to acknowledge what was happening to him.

No sooner had Steve given Carrillo what he wanted than Carrillo returned the favour. A second finger joined the first, stretching Steve out as he pumped back and forth in a steady rhythm. “That’s it, Murphy. Good boy. You take me so well.”

It was those two words again. Two words that forced Steve’s hand to grasp at the pillow and his ass to lift up to meet Carrillo’s fingers. Fuck. He was never going to live this down. He didn’t even know where it was coming from; or why it turned him on this much. Or why, despite his natural instincts to rebel against Carrillo, he not only craved his approval but also got off on his praise.

He couldn’t deal with examining that closer right now, so he flung his hips back harder this time, taking Carrillo by surprise. He did it again and again until he was fucking Carrillo’s fingers as much as Carrillo was fucking him.

Carrillo’s breath was coming in short, shrift bursts as he watched the spectacle below him. There was that thrill again from knowing he had this kind of effect on Murphy. Knowing that for all of his bravado, he wanted to please Carrillo. And a part of Carrillo got off on Murphy’s reaction to being praised too. It was a vicious circle he didn’t understand. So, as usual, it was far easier to compartmentalise and push it to the back of his mind.

He allowed Murphy to have his fun for a while, to give as good as he got because apparently that just seemed to be how things worked between them, no matter how much each man tried to get one over on the other.

That thought led Carrillo’s free hand to still Steve’s hips and position himself between Steve’s legs. He leaned forwards, his arms braced on either side of Steve’s ridiculously long frame, his cock teasing in the same way his fingers did.

Carrillo reached up to run his tongue along the shell of Steve’s ear, biting down on the lobe as Steve practically purred beneath him. “You still all in, Murphy?” he whispered. Another challenge, another gauntlet thrown down just begging to be picked back up again.

And it was one that Steve couldn’t resist. “If you are, I am.”

That was all the confirmation Carrillo needed to plunge forwards, a firm, deep thrust to start off with and gauge Murphy’s reaction.

Steve let out a laboured grunt as though he had just had the air knocked out of his lungs. This was new; not even Javi had done this with him. He and Connie had dabbled with fingers and toys a few times, but that hadn’t been like this. This was all muscles rippling and straining at his back, and balls slapping against his ass. It had been one thing watching Carrillo do this to Javi, but nothing could have prepared him for the force of nature currently pounding him into next week.

Encouraged by Murphy’s vocal enthusiasm, Carrillo didn’t hold back. Not like the way he restrained himself last time. He snapped his hips against Steve’s at a brutal pace, rolling them in firm circles and leaving behind a trail of bite marks.

All Steve could do was lie there and take it, too overwhelmed by new sensations he didn’t even know his body was capable of feeling. It was all so much. Too much. So, he pushed himself off the mattress, taking Carrillo with him.

They re-adjusted themselves but never pulled apart; both now sat up on their knees. It was ridiculous, but it allowed Steve to regain his height advantage. Although that was small mercy compared to the new angle Carrillo had found in this position. It caused Steve’s eyes to roll back in his head and wiped his mind of all thought.

Carrillo clasped Steve’s waist and cock simultaneously, stroking him in time with his thrusts. “Do you know what I told Javier that night once you were done with him?” He didn’t wait for a reply but held still inside of Steve. His hand kept moving, though, the frantic motions aided by streaks of precum glistening along Steve’s length. “I said next time I want to watch.”

“Fuck…” was all Steve could pant as he spasmed in Carrillo’s hold. “He - he’d love that,” he stuttered once Carrillo moved again. “I fucked him against the sink. Made him watch us through the mirror.”

The mental images running through Carrillo’s head were almost enough to make him come on the spot. He was so close now. “Glad our little show inspired you.”

“I told you, s’not my fault if you can’t keep him satisfied…oh fuck!” His little jibe earned him a sharp swat across the ass.

“And I told you, that mouth of yours was gonna get you in trouble.” Carrillo brought his hand down a second and a third time.

Steve bit his lip, swallowing the whine rumbling in his throat because he wasn’t done goading yet despite the hot sting spreading across his cheeks. “Maybe you just need to find a more effective way to shut me up.”

And with that, Carrillo gave Steve’s cock another once-over and lifted his hand to Steve’s face. He smeared his slicked fingers across Steve’s moustache and lips before shoving them into his mouth.

Steve didn’t know which memory to latch on to first; the one of him sucking Carrillo off in his office, the one of him licking Carrillo’s knife, or the one of Carrillo taking Steve’s gun into his mouth. A heady mix of all three combined with jerking himself off and Carrillo filling him up pushed him over the edge.

His free hand felt behind him and dug his nails into any part of Carrillo he could reach, scraping and scratching like a feral cat as he spilt over himself with a strangled groan.

Carrillo upped the ante as he relentlessly fucked into Steve, the grip on his waist enough to leave reminders in the morning. A hand appeared at Carrillo’s mouth, and he took the hint, sucking and licking as though he was a man starved.

It was the final straw as he let out a growl stifled by a vampiric bite into the flesh of Steve’s shoulder. Breaking barriers far beyond the surface of his skin, even if neither of them recognised it.

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They lay spent and breathless, silent and dazed for several minutes before they cleaned up, trying to push down the growing sense of shame that they had done this in Javi’s apartment. In Javi’s bed. When Javi was…well, wherever he was. It felt like a betrayal, although not in the traditional sense. It wasn’t so much that they regretted what they had done, but that they had done it without Javi. He was once again the negative space in the room.

They took turns to shower, the question of sharing never coming up. That would have been a step too far. Although, as they towelled off and put their underwear back on, they both caught the other in the act of staring. But they cleared their throats and continued as though nothing had happened.

Neither of them said anything when they got back into bed, ignoring that Steve had a perfectly decent double bed of his own upstairs. And Steve was also ignoring the fact that his own apartment and double bed hadn’t been the same since Connie left, and he dreaded most nights alone now. The two men still left a respectable distance between themselves, though, to the point where they were practically falling off opposite edges of the mattress.

Steve reached for his jeans on the floor once again. He shuffled around in the pockets until he found what he was looking for, trying to blink away the flashback he was already having of retrieving his gun just like this. The gun that now had traces of Carrillo’s saliva all over it.

He sat back up and pulled a cigarette out of the packet, offering the same to Carrillo.

Carrillo wordlessly took one, prompting Steve to lean over with his lighter. Their eyes briefly met over the flame, Carrillo mumbling his thanks before taking a long drag. The exhale he let out was more a sigh of relief than anything as the much-needed nicotine began to flow into his bloodstream.

Steve retreated to the safety of the other side of the bed to light up. They didn’t talk for several minutes, both lost in their own heads and ensuring to look anywhere but at each other.

“D’you think he’s alive?” Steve didn’t know what possessed him to ask that of all questions, but it slipped out before he could stop himself.

Apparently, Carrillo didn’t know what possessed Steve to ask that, either, and he gave him a withering look that said as much.

“Someone would have found him by now if he wasn’t. They’d have wanted us to know what they did,” he replied in the end.

Not many people knew the mind of a narco quite like Carrillo, and Steve had good reason to trust his judgement beyond his desperate need to cling to hope.

“What we gonna do if he doesn’t show up?”

Carrillo was more intent on savouring his cigarette than answering another of Murphy’s questions, and left him hanging for a moment. “Get some sleep. We’ll figure it out in the morning if we have to.”

To the casual observer, Carrillo’s words might have sounded cold. But even Steve could see the benefit of his pragmatism at a time like this. He could only imagine how much his mind would have spiralled if he had dealt with this alone. It was oddly comforting for Carrillo to refuse to indulge Steve in his anxieties because that wouldn’t help either man. The words Carrillo and comfort in the same sentence were not something Steve ever expected his brain to conjure up, and he wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Right, yeah, of course,” was all Steve could manage in reply. He flipped the bedside lamp off, plunging the room into darkness, the only light now stemming from the digital clock on the nightstand and the dying embers of Carrillo’s cigarette.

Steve shuffled down beneath the sheets that still smelt strongly of sweat, sex and Javi but stuck rigidly to his small strip of mattress. He didn’t even dare lie on his back, stretch his long legs out, or fidget like he had the tendency to do when he couldn’t sleep, in case he strayed into foreign territory.

He knew Carrillo was still awake as he heard him stubbing out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. It was followed by the mattress shifting and another deep sigh that had too many possible interpretations for Steve to guess which one was correct. Eventually, all fell still, and Steve couldn’t decide whether he was relieved or disappointed that Carrillo was apparently now asleep.

But that was the thing about stillness; it only took into account what was perceptible on the surface. It didn’t factor in hidden currents that were just as turbulent, if not more so than the visible ones. And what Steve didn’t know was that Carrillo was as wide awake as he was.

Carrillo was used to keeping a level head in a crisis, but even he had to admit he was struggling this time. Not that he could burden Murphy with his concerns. For some reason, he could see why Javier always felt the need to protect his partner. Even now, after Murphy had well and truly rolled around in the dirt with him, Carrillo felt a certain level of responsibility. A responsibility to find Javier but also to protect Murphy in Javier’s absence.

He clung to that reasoning when trying to justify why he had let himself be put in such a vulnerable position tonight. With someone he had always kept at arm’s length. Of course, he only did it to satisfy Murphy’s need for acceptance. Something Javier had been badgering him about for a long time. There couldn’t possibly be more to it than that.

Or at least that’s what he told himself when he slid his leg back into the negative space of the middle of the bed. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find, if anything. And for an agonising few seconds, his foot lay stranded in the void.

But just as he was about to withdraw and pretend it was an involuntary action whilst asleep, clammy skin found clammy skin. It was a tentative token of solidarity, and both men would deny it if they acknowledged it. But it was there, and it happened nonetheless.

#Narcos fic #Narcos #Javier Peña #Steve Murphy #Horacio Carrillo #Carrillo #Steve Murphy x Horacio Carrillo #Javier Peña x Steve Murphy #Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo #Horacio Carrillo x Steve Murphy x Javier Peña #Pedro Pascal #Boyd Holbrook #Maurice Compte #Narcos fanfic #Narcos fan fic #Narcos fanfiction #Narcos fan fiction #My Narcos fic

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drustvar · 1 year

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Ch. 6: Fracture

Broken things come to pass at the docks.

WC: 3,497 A/N: A lot of how Rosie acts in this chapter was inspired by 'Pearl', and tbh I kind of wish I had pushed that a little further but oh well. She'll get more unhinged as the story progresses, don't worry :) Ao3 Link in reblog|| Full text available under read more.

Julian walked a few steps ahead of Rosie, a tall, black silhouette against the pale sand. Rosie watched him, the tension in his shoulders had been building all day, and seemed ready to crash over both of them. He stopped at the rotting wood of the pier, hands in his pockets as the moon reflected brightly off his boots. The only thing that broke the silence was the constant sound of waves crashing against the shore. He stared out at the sea for a while, and she followed his gaze. The water was as black as the sky above, infinite and unknowable. Julian took a deep breath before he finally spoke.

“Feel that breeze. A nice night for sailing, don’t you think?”

“Never sailed before.”

He shook his head and his gaze dropped, staring down the end of the dock. “Rosie, listen…we, uh. We really need to talk.” “You’ve been saying that all day,” she shifted the bag on her shoulder. Even though it was mostly empty, it felt like a prisoner’s weight.

“Ah, I have, haven’t I? I suppose I was enjoying myself too much to take the plunge.”

“What’s wrong? Please, just tell me.”

“Oh, lots of things,” he grimaced. “Too many to count. Give me a number, and I’ll tell you it’s too low.”

She crossed her arms. “Julian.”

He sighed and looked away. “I’ve done the calculations. Thought of every possibility. Run through the scenario over and over in my head…Rosie,” he reached for her hand, but couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze. “There’s only one way I can see this whole thing playing out. And it’s not a happy ending, trust me.”

“I dunnae understand what you mean,” she said. She did understand, but she didn’t want to.

“Isn’t it better to cut things off at the pass? To spare you the trouble of a tragic ending?” He still wouldn’t look at her, just stared out at the sea, as if debating on jumping in and sinking.

Rosie thought back to that morning, how waking up without Julian beside her had filled her chest with an empty ache, how worried she’d been about him. How she had felt so sure that the very worst had happened to him, and that she hadn't been there to prevent it. “When you left this morning, you weren’t going to come back, were you?” She spoke quietly; as if not asking could stop it from being true. “I, ah, no… Well, I wasn’t thinking clearly," his words were clumsy and rushed. "But I would never, I could never have just left you. Even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Want to leave, that is.” He finally met her eyes. She’d never seen someone look more sorry. “But, I just don’t see how else this can go.” He dropped down to sit on the edge of the pier, his long legs dangling over the water. His boots skimmed the surface, sending tiny ripples through the dark. “What do you mean by that?” She sank down next to him. Their shoulders brushed, and her heart ached at how eagerly he leaned against her. He just shook his head before he pointed to an island in the distance, a small shadow on the horizon. “See that island? It’s called the Lazaret. It’s where the city sent their infected, during the height of the plague. A perfect monument to my failures. Always visible from the shore, always reminding the city of how much it suffered.”

She had heard stories of the Lazaret. How when the city had run out of space to quarantine the sick, the doctors were ordered to send them to the island’s crematoriums. The sick and the dying disposed of by their city like trash. “Every death, every body burnt in those pits is another mark against me. More than I could ever count…” he trailed off, his eyes never leaving the island. “I don’t want to drag this out, Rosie. This, whatever it was. Whatever it could have been. It has to end.” “But I don’t understand. I thought you liked me.” The lump in her throat made her voice come out harsher than she'd meant. “I do like you. That’s why it has to be this way. That’s why this has to end now before it's too late and I wind up hurting you.” “That’s stupid. You aren’t like that, you wouldn’t hurt me-” He laughed, sharp and pained. “Oh, Rosie. Dear Rosie, you’re too kind. I will absolutely hurt you. It’s only a matter of time. It’s what I do, you know. It’s what I’ve always done. I’ll be the first to admit my faults, and of that there are many. I end up losing myself,” he sighed again, trying to maintain some form of composure. “Or maybe this is the real me. Someone who hurts. A failure. I don’t know if I killed the Count, but I know I could have. I know I have that kind of darkness inside me. Even if you say that it would have done the world a favor, it was still a life. Someone must have loved him, it must have destroyed somebody. And isn’t that enough to damn me?” “No.” She wanted to scream, he was talking too fast for her to keep up. ‘I don’t care what you’ve done!’ She thought. ‘All I care about is us. What makes him think he’ll hurt me? If all of this is connected to his past, then where do I come in? All I want…all I need is to know is how he feels about me.’ She leaned back and sighed heavily. “So that’s it? We just go our separate ways? You don’t want me enough to try to keep from self-destructing?” “Dear, please don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” his voice was much quieter. “I’m breaking us up. Plain and simple.” “Breaking up?” Rosie laughed sharply, trying to sound unbothered. “Since when were we together?” ‘Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe it’s me who hurts you,’ she thought as she tried to ignore the faint stinging at the corner of her eyes. ‘I could say that you’re nothing to me, even if that would be the biggest lie I’d ever told.’ “Ah, yes you have a point. Not really a breakup, is it? We never—we never really had anything to start with. Just a night or two stolen from time.” He swallowed hard, visibly tense. “But, do I want you…do I want you? God, that’s a hard question to answer. I want you to be safe. I want you to stay out of this whole mess, I want…” he shook his head and stared down at the water below them. “ Well, it doesn’t matter what I want.” “That isn’t an answer,” she said as her nails dug into her palms.

“Tenacious, aren’t you? It’s one of the things I like about you. No matter what happens, you keep forging on. You’re like this great, bright light, drawing me towards you. I just can’t help myself. If I was a stronger man…if I wasn’t so weak. But I just can’t stay away from you.” ‘Then let me be strong for you. I can be strong for both of us ,’ she thought.

Julian bit his bottom lip, looking defeated. He barely looked at her as he spoke again. “ I'm torn in two between what I wish could be and what I know will be; of course I want you. I know it’s only been a short time, but I feel like I’ve known you for years. Is it because you put me at ease? That’s hard to do, you know. I want to be around you. I-I can’t stop thinking about you, even when you’re right beside me. That’s the problem.” He slowly met her eyes as she put a hand over his. “I wish I was strong enough to break the cycle, like you said...but I'm just not. It doesn't matter what my heart wants, I've learned that by now.” He tried to give her a smile before he craned his neck to stare up at the moon. “If I think about it, I can see the path our story would take. So why,” he slumped over, trying to hide himself in the hunch of his shoulders. “If I walk away from you now, will I stay away? If I drop my guard, will I find myself walking right back to you? That’s what makes me selfish. Because whatever we could have, whatever possibilities…They’ll only lead to ruin. That’s the kind of man I am.” “We have but one life,” she said. “Why not be a little selfish?” “I can’t,” he shook his head. “There’s just no future for us that doesn’t end in pain for you.” “How can you be so sure? What future do you want, then?” She wished she had told him how much she hated riddles. “I’ve told you. It doesn’t matter what I want.” “Have you given thought to what I might want?” She hissed. “Can’t you see anything else? Can’t you think of anything else? Is everything a miserable tragedy to you?”

“Tragedy’s what I’m best at, Rosie. I’m the star of my own one-man play.” She wanted to slap him. “It’s what will happen. In this world, we don’t get what we want. Why waste time imagining something you can’t ever have? I don’t dare hope. It just makes it hurt more when you don’t get it.”

“Couldn’t you try? For me?” Julian laughed, but there was no mirth to it. He just stared at the dark horizon. “What do you want to hear from me, Rosie? That I want a future? That I—that I want to live? That I want something with you?” “It sounds nice, doesn’t it?” He got to his feet and started to pace, the old pier creaking underneath his boots. She brushed her thumb over the face of her amulet as she watched him. “Oh, I can see it when I close my eyes,” he said. “Warm laughter, light hearts. Never a dull night. Days spent with friends. Pasha never having a reason to cry again…Things we’ll never have. So it goes.” He stared out at the sea, his back to her. “But you’ll survive, Rosie. You were fine before I got here. You’ll be fine after I’ve left. You’re strong like that. Stronger than I am, that’s for sure.” Rosie sighed, feeling as though she had swallowed gravel as she got to her feet. “Right. Well, I can see you’ve made your decision.” She brushed her skirt off, and tried to avoid looking at him. “Be a gentleman and walk me home.” ||

Everything was dark and quiet when they stopped on the porch. The quiet rustling of the garden in the night breeze was the only thing breaking up the awkward, tense silence between them. “Well, here we are,” Julian said, a note of finality in his voice. “At your shop. Uh, end of the line.” Rosie just stared at him. She didn’t want to speak, she knew if she did her voice would break after the first word. “When I came to Vesuvia, I was seeking answers. Finding you, that was a rare treat,” he reached out, his hand hovered over her shoulder, as if he was unsure if he was still allowed to touch her. She grabbed his hand and squeezed, trying to commit the feeling of his grip to memory.

“Regardless of what we are to each other, regardless of…whatever this was,” she said. “I’ve still got your back. If you need something, anything , find me.”

He leaned forward to press a kiss on each side of her face, lips lingering just a second longer against her skin.

“Thank you, my dear. The time we spent together, however brief, mattered to me. I won’t forget it.”

“Stay safe. If not for me, for Pasha.” She turned away, pressing her hand to the door. “As you wish,” he murmured. With a whirl of his cape he was gone, footsteps fading away into a faint echo. Rosie slammed her fist into the door. The tears that had remained hidden started to roll down her cheeks as she stomped inside, the door slamming shut behind her. She swore as she threw her bag onto the counter. It was then that she noticed the shop smelled of cinnamon, and all the lanterns were lit, giving off a warm glow. She wiped hurriedly at her eyes as soft footsteps approached.

“Rosie?” Asra smiled warmly as he slid over the railing of the stairs. “When did you get home?” She tried to steady her breathing, and hoped that her mascara hadn’t run too much. “This morning. I was going to go up to the Palace to check on you, but Faust said you weren’t there.” “Oh she did, did she?” Rosie tried to smile, but her grin more closely resembled a snarl. Faust ducked back under the folds of her master’s sash.

“What’s wrong?” She winced. Of course Asra immediately knew. But she had never been a subtle person.

“It’s nothing. Everything’s fine,” picked up her bag and hung it up, trying to avoid his eyes. “Did you have fun on your little trip? Doing whatever it is you do?” She hadn’t meant for the last of her words to sound so bitter.

“Rosie?” Asra rested his hand over hers. She finally met his eyes. The color purple had never felt so comforting.

“It’s nothing, really. Oh, where would I even begin?” She started straightening the disturbed items on the counter, desperate to keep her hands busy. “It’s nothing. I find a river full of poison, I fall in the canal, and Julian breaks up with me. Which is silly, foolish even, to think we had somethin’ goin’-”

“Woah, slow down!” Asra grabbed her arm. His hand on her arm was warm, and she found she could breathe again. “What…what was that last part?”

“Which ‘last’ part?” She laughed. “The part where I’m a fool of a woman or the part where Julian left me?”

“I…he did? You two were…?”

“Yes, no, oh…I dunnae even know.” She shook her head as Asra offered her his mug of tea. “I mean, we slept together -oh!” Asra had started to choke on his drink. “I didn’t mean like that! I meant how you and I share a bed, that’s all!”

Asra coughed and wiped his mouth. “Let’s go upstairs and talk. I made that tea you like, you look like you could use it.” He took her hand and led the way, thumb brushing absentmindedly over her knuckles. Rosie leaned against him, grateful for his support. “I dunnae know what’s going on with him,” she murmured against his shoulder. “I dunnae want him to face this mess alone.” She sighed and flopped down on the oversized floor cushions. Faust curled around the hot mug Asra set down in front of her, the snake’s tongue flicking out curiously.

“No, I’m not mad at you, little lady.” Rosie said as she patted the snake’s coils. “Even if you did snitch on me.”

“So, what happened? From the beginning.” Asra settled next to her, putting his arm around her as she leaned against him again. She hadn’t expected the story to spill out as easily as it did. Granted there were moments she omitted, but Asra had no reason to know about those. He sighed quietly after she had finished, his thumb running absentmindedly over the rim of his mug.

“That sure sounds like Ilya. And he took all day to end it? And you say you don’t even know if you were really together?”

She shrugged, twisting the hem of her skirt. “It’s all foolishness, I suppose. Just a stupid little fling I got too into.” “Ilya,” Asra’s tone was one she’d seldom heard before. “The only thing he loves more than drama is his own suffering, and he’s determined to chase both.”

“What am I to do?”

He squeezed her hand gently. “What do you want to do?"

“I want to protect him,” she said quietly. “I want to show him that he’s not as terrible as he thinks.” “I can’t stop you,” he said as he scooped up their empty mugs. “I just want you to be careful. Who knows, maybe you can shake him from his ouroboros of self flagellation.” Rosie said nothing, just listened to the sound of water and ceramic clinking as Asra washed up. “Who knows? Stranger things have happened. Just please, don’t hurt yourself in the process.”

Again she said nothing, just slowly pulled a folded piece of cloth out of her pocket. She opened it and stared down at its contents: a small lock of auburn hair, cut when Julian had slept. “Have you eaten? I’ll make dinner,” Asra fell silent as he saw what she held in her hands. “You’re not planning on cursing him, are you? Remember the last one…”

She laughed and shook her head. ‘ You already took care of that, didn’t you ?’ She thought, remembering what Julian had said about the glowing mark on his throat. She wasn’t convinced it was Asra’s handiwork, but she couldn’t help but wonder. “I did not curse the last one,” she said as she started to rummage through a nearby chest. “There’s no magic involved in dumping a bag of termites outside of someone’s house. Can you get me our jar of black salt?”

“Of course. I’ll get candles, too.”

‘ Let’s see, myrrh for protection. Clover for luck, borage for spell power… ’ Rosie ran through a list of reagents as she dug through the chest and cabinets. ‘ Rose quartz for… ’ she shook her head and slammed the box that held the small pink crystals shut. ‘ Citrine for hope. Bloodstone for courage. ’

“So,” Asra sat across from her, the candles lit and the reagents laid out on the coffee table. “What do you have in mind?” “Taglock,” she said as she poured a layer of black salt into a bottle. “If he doesn’t want me around to physically protect him, the least I can do is offer my magic.” “Taglocks are…they can be difficult. They take a lot of energy and a lot of focus. Are you sure?”

She nodded as she added the crushed herbs. He watched her while she worked, never saying a word, though his eyes were full of concern. The soft glow of the candles gave her pale hair an ethereal halo as she sealed the vessel shut with wax. “Here goes,” she murmured as she tightly gripped the bottle. Magic started to crackle over her fingers, and the ring of gold in her eyes started to glow. As worried as he was, Asra couldn’t help but feel proud of how far her magic had come. But his pride turned to horror as glowing, teal colored cracks began to appear in her hands, the spell bottle rattling violently. She wasn’t just extending her energy, she was pouring out all of it. “Rosie?” She didn’t hear him. The glowing cracks in her hands started to widen. “Rosie, stop!” Asra knocked the bottle out of her hands. It smashed on the floor, sending broken glass and smoke everywhere. She stared open mouthed at the smoldering remains, the taglock destroyed.

“I’m sorry, I-” “What the hell, Asra?!” She rounded on him. “I’m sorry! But you were using so much power, you were going to hurt yourself,” he tried to take her hand and show her the still-glowing welts, but she shook him off. She swore and kicked the coffee table out of the way. Asra followed close behind her as she stomped back downstairs. “Rosie,” he said in a quiet voice. She ignored him as she pulled a hefty moonshine jug out of a cabinet and drank deeply. “I really didn’t mean to. I was scared you were going to be hurt.” She glared at him as she took another swig and leaned against the sink.

“We could try again, some other form of protective-” “Wouldn’t much matter now. The link to him is destroyed. Doubt I’ll be able to get another.” “But-” “Doesn’t even like magic. Makes him all antsy. Cannae just give him a sachet and say ‘please hang onto these magic plants so you dunnae get drawn an’ quartered’, can I?” “You could,” he said gently. She snorted and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I should have known… I’m sleeping on the couch. Goodnight.”

Asra sighed, hurt and guilt in his eyes as he turned away and retreated upstairs. Rosie finished the last of her drink before curling up into a tight ball on the couch. She grabbed a pillow and screamed into it until her voice was hoarse, staring at the wall until she fell into a fitful sleep. She had a sinking feeling that things were going to get worse before they got better.

#kismet #rosie #julian #julian devorak #arcana #the arcana #ive posted previews of this chapter before but its so fun to finally see it all together #also fun to see how rosie :“) tends to lash out at the people she loves when shes upset :”)#and by fun i mean very sad #also RIP to her ex that ended up w a termite infestation. She really said im playing the long game. gonna fuck up your houses foundation

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