The only problem I have with Diane's arc is the implication that in order for her to get happier and mentaly healthier she must stop caring about societal issues.
Yes, I know that her actvism was partly fueled by her want to make a mark in the world and that she had to learn to not obssess over bad stuff that's out of her control and that made her miserable in order to get better, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't have care in the first place. Like, she had good points and noble intentions, even if the way she tried to resolve stuff wasn't exactly efficient or good for her.
What bothers me the most when I think about it is how the first scene in "Good Damage" that shows how she's improved with antidepressants is her stopping her spiral over the overproduction of plastic with the snacks in a beiseball game. Sure, it's great that she managed to quit a self-destructive spiral during a time of relaxation but what she was obsessing over is an actual enviromental issue! Of course, she shouldn't believe that she must tack it on head-on and alone, which is why there are so many actvist communities! Because nobody can change the world on their own!
The issue with Diane's actvism wasn't just that she wanted to feel special, or that she was overly self-righteous, or that it made her miserable, but also that she'd often do it all on her own, with no organizing or planning whatsoever!
Want to get a chicken to a better farm? Break in there with your stoner friend and this random teenage you were assigned to babysit that day.
Wanna take down a serial mysogynist who happens to be a beloved celebrity? Spearhead the whole thing and become the main target of mysogynistic haressement and death threats.
Wants to take down a capitalistic monopoly? Go around investigating said capitalistic monopoly with your cameraman/partner in an attempt to bring them to justice, only for it to come to naught when the law gets on his side.
I get it! It's not easy and being burned so many times by your failuires to make a dent on the world for the better would make lots of people to give up! However, if Diane worked with a community working towards the same goals as her, that could've supported her and vice-versa, and organize and plan stuff together, she'd probably wouldn't have burned herself out that badly and may even have managed to exact actual positive change!
It's really odd that a show that states that "In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections we make" would just miss that.
I wish Diane managed to have found a happy balance between her mental health and her desire to change the world instead of sacrificing one for another. I just don't think someone can medicate themselves out of systemic issues.
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Fuck it, posts my SmallEtho playlist.
Part-Time Soulmate, Full-Time Problem: A SmallEtho/Boat Boys Playlist
(Best listened to on shuffle.)
This is a kinda long playlist (28 tracks), so if you only have time for a few songs, check out: ‘Pyrokenesis’; ‘I Am Fred Astaire’; & ‘Built To Burn.’
Full track list & selected lyrics under cut.
1. Son of a Gun - Motion City Soundtrack
Have you had enough? Are you tough? Are you broken?/Hit me where it hurts, don’t just curtsey & sulk/I know I deserve every elegant word that you’re hurling at me
2. Pyrokenesis - 7chariot
When you say the things you say, they start a little spark/Ignite this small but also highly flammable heart
You’re setting me on fire, I don’t wanna fight it/You don’t need a lighter, you’re a flame/Drowning myself in water only makes it harder/Hard for me to keep myself away
3. Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy
I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way/Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
4. Violently Alive - I Hate Kate
I hate that you’re there/And I’m here/In the same room/Miles from me to you/We’re so distant/But close enough to touch
5. Tiger Teeth - Walk The Moon
Give in, give in, I want you back/One heart, one too many to stomach/Love bites so deep and we got tiger teeth
6. It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish - My Chemical Romance
Hip-hip-hooray for me, you talk to me/But would you kill me in my sleep?/Lay still like the dead/From the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves/And paint these walls in pitchfork red
7. True Romance - Motion City Soundtrack
I’m a screwup of epic proportions/A walking hand grenade/Hyper-manic, a dime store dramatic/A conduit for pain
She said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just take it off, take it off”/I said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just mess me up, mess me up”
8. Violence - blink-182
Like violence, you have me, forever and after/Like violence, you kill me, forever and after
9. I Am Fred Astaire - Taking Back Sunday
I’m under the assumption that I’m gonna be the one that’s leaving you/Tonight, oh, tonight/Well I flipped every switch that I could find on my way out/Just to upset you more/Just to keep you busy/Just to make you angry/Just because you were right
I’m stuttering through it, but I hear it/Well I-I I hear it’s good t-t-to stick to what you know
10. The Wolf - The Crane Wives
I am not a tempest/I light torches in my sleep/I have gasoline in my veins/I am always burning, burning burning
11. Crave - Waterparks
I’m cravin’ a getaway from the/Smooth talk that’s keeping me grounded/To the carpet in my room/My quiet blue tomb of you
I wish I could forget you
12. Hold Me Like A Grudge - Fall Out Boy
Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning and I can’t keep up/Faster and faster, can’t do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem yeah/Hold me like a grudge
13. Formidable - Twenty One Pilots
You are formidable to me/‘Cause you seem to know it, where you wanna go/Yeah yeah yeah I’ll follow you/But you should know/I might be cynical towards you/But I just can’t believe that I’m for you/Yeah yeah yeah I can die with you/Just let me know
14. Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz feat Yacht Money
I ride the edge/My speed goes in the red/Hot blood, these veins/My pleasure is their pain/I love to watch the castles burn/These golden ashes turn to dirt/I’ve always liked to play with fire
15. Bulletproof Heart - My Chemical Romance
I’ve got a bulletproof heart/You’ve got a hollow point smile/Me and your runaway scars/Got photographed dream on the getaway mile/Let’s blow a hole in this town/And do our talking with a laser beam/Gunnin’ out of this place in a bullet’s embrace/Then we’ll do it again
16. The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me - Say Anything
You’re a pretty face, you should like me/I want to get used by you/‘Cause I’m full of hate, just excite me/I want to get bruised by you
17. Red - Pale Waves
Oh no baby, are we gonna make it this time?/I always take hearts that shouldn’t be mine, be mine/Slow down baby, are we gonna make it alive?/You’ve got a face that I always recognize/Always recognize
18. Kill V. Maim - Grimes
I did something bad, maybe I was wrong/Sometimes people says that I’m a big time bomb/But I’m only a man/And I do what I can
19. FUNERAL GREY - Waterparks
I said that you can call me, beep me/If you want my skin/She rolled her eyes and then she said/“I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit”
20. Shiver - Motion City Soundtrack
Shiver away, I thought the action was real/Somewhere I know that’s just the way you are/it’s hard to believe that you’re a part of me/And I can’t believe when you carry on and on
21. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine
My black eye casts no shadow/Your red eye sees nothing/Your slaps don’t stick, your kicks don’t hit/So we remain the same/Love sticks, sweat drips/Break the lock if it don’t fit/A kick to the teeth is good for some/A kiss with a fist is better than none
22. Mr. Brightside- The Killers
It started out with a kiss/How did it end up like this/It was only a kiss/It was only a kiss
23. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge
Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days/It’s only just a crush, it’ll go away/It’s just like all the others, it’ll go away/Or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know/You pray it all away, but it continues to grow
24. Can You Feel My Heart (Remix) - Bring Me The Horizon, Jeris Johnson
I’m scared to get close/And I hate being alone/I long for that feeling to not feel at all
Holding on, bring me close, feel my heart/Can you feel my heart?
25. Built To Burn - Shaffer James
We’ll build a world/And burn it down/Everything is pretty/When we burn it to the ground
26. Hatef—k - The Bravery
There will be no tenderness, no tenderness/I will show no mercy for you/You had no mercy for me/The only thing that I ask/Love me mercilessly
27. Stupid For You - Waterparks
You’re playing ring around my head/I’ll wear you like a halo/You’re a symphony/I’m just a sour note/I’ll take what I can get/The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you/And everybody wants you
28. My Obsession - Pale Waves
I’m stood still, I can barely breathe/You’re such a mess but you’re always beautiful to me/Run your fingers across my mouth/I’m not prepared to stay here without you
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What are your in depth thoughts about MK’s and Sun Wukong’s vs MK’s and Macaque’s relationships? Because lemme tell you I’ve got so many it’s essay worthy
i saved you for last <3 but i honestly don't know if i can talk about this coherently T^T
short answer: they are on different levels in 2 ways, MK's comfortability and in how they grow
long answer: *inhales*
so you see, there are many levels that are set between the two relationships. and by levels i mean power dynamics, casualness, formalities, respect, and idolization :)
MK and Sun Wukong
with MK and Sun Wukong their relationship began very formal. MK was simply Wukong's student (with a wish to one day be close friends with his mentor/idol), but then by around 1x09, there becomes this shift in their dynamic. in this episode, we do get insight into how far Wukong actually cares for MK because for about most of s1, the monkey keeps his distance while putting up a laid back attitude. but after MK admits to his desire of being "good enough, like [Wukong]," you will notice that Sun Wukong, slowly starts to pull down his walls for MK. he even invites MK to stay over with him for New Years (2x00), despite knowing that it was more likely for MK to leave and celebrate with his friends. (WHICH MK EVEN SAYS BECAUSE BY THIS POINT MK COMES TO REALIZE THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP MIGHT NEVER BREACH INTO THE FRIENDSHIP HE ROMANTICIZED IN HIS HEAD. THUS SHOWING HOW THE TWO ARE DOING A REVERSE IN THEIR DYNAMIC AND- *gets dragged away to calm down*)
as i was saying.
in s2, Wukong ends up leaving to investigate a way to stop LBD before things blow over (which succeeds and fails bc it did, in fact, blow over). he didn't do it because he believed that it would hurt MK. personally, my assumption is that Sun Wukong didn't really see himself as that great of a mentor and that MK had been able to quickly pick up on new moves and techniques without much help from him, and with that thought, he believed that by leaving MK nothing but scrolls and a goal, MK would still be capable of mastering the new skills (which he did, thereby reinforcing that idea). but unfortunately, our beloved monkey king forgot that while MK is a very capable individual of incredible power, he's not confident in himself. he's simply "just loud" about himself and his prowess (which, if you noticed, MK grew even more quieter about this in seasons 2 & 3....fascinating).
so now there's this manufactured push to bring back their previous formality because Wukong is not completely ready to tell MK the truth despite how much he cares and trusts him (because, and this is my opinion, Wukong really wants to ensure that MK is not too involved in something as dangerous as LBD because she can get into your head and she can make matters worse for everybody). said manufactured push confuses MK because they had come so far from 1x01 and the distance they had before. sure, it's not as close as s3 and s4, but it definitely felt like they were at the cusp of something. this leaves MK sort of in his own limbo on where he stands with the Monkey King, and even if he sought advice about this with his friends, none of them have met the guy yet and can only make opinions based on their assumptions of what they feel like is going on (*cough, cough* Pigsy *cough, cough*).
and even after s2, in s3 Wukong is exhausted, a lot of his power depleted, and has to try and mingle civilly with MK's friends on a mission he originally planned to do alone (a suicidal mission to obtain the Samadhi Fire, if i might add). his reasoning for refusing at the beginning is because they are mortals, which MK misinterprets to mean that Wukong does not think MK can handle this mission and wants to prove himself.
omg their relationship is so complicated and messy T^T i love it
anyway, MK's and Sun Wukong's relationship is a push and pull between both people wanting to uphold and prove their worth to the other (Wukong lying to keep MK ignorant of a danger the monkey plans to eradicate in secret VS MK pushing himself into becoming powerful in order to prove himself as someone swk sees as worthy to trust). also, their dynamic is literally a platonic slow burn that slowly brings them closer and closer with s4 beginning with them (swk mostly lol) trying to be more honest and upfront about their thoughts and feelings. and s4 ending with the two actually fighting for each other and protecting each other and fighting WITH each other and T^T it's so beautiful. but also because their dynamic is a slow burn, that provides ample time to seed in doubt and insecurities and wanting to bottle up your issues to keep the peace and-
ugh T^T them <3
(side note: the actual timeline of this show is a tad confusing to me. how long was s1? a month, a couple months, a week? how long was s2? how long is the gap between seasons???? idk and i've tried to find something feasible to work with but i'm mostly just taking an "academic" estimation)
but now onto Macky and MK's relationship!
Mackenzie and MK
this one despite how rocky it looks is not a slow burn dynamic. it's got a fun roller coaster of levels because it goes "secret mentor/student" to "enemies" to "frenemies?" to "morally dubious but is actually a softie" to "potential mentor 2.0???" and i love it.
so, MK and Macky's dynamic begins in 1x09 (the blessed episode) since that's Mackackle's introduction to the show and MK begins to train under him in secret because MK is frustrated with swk's teaching methods. through the brief montage of MK's training, i can't help but notice the words and phrasing Macky uses:
Mackarell: [sounding disappointed] Not bad...[chuckles] [in a mocking tone] don't get me wrong, but I was expecting a little more with someone of your power.
MK: [is defensive] H-hey, I've got more- I can give way more than that! [sighs] I can do better.
Macaroni: [bemused] Kay, maybe show me next time.
ok, honestly, i just wanna talk about this. because if you heard it without seeing Marconi's face and how they animated him, you could side-step the the fake disappointment and mocking tone. what he's saying on the surface, isn't anything malicious or cruel. he is acting like a mentor and it appears like he is trying to encourage MK so he can stop hesitating. but that's not what Mac's really doing.
he is acting disappointed in MK because MK has a need to prove himself. the scene before MK meets Macaque, he is with Wukong and is frustrated by how slow his training is. he knows he can do some pretty powerful moves if his mentor allowed him to, if only he can prove to him that he can level up from the "baby stuff", if only he could have someone see that potential and train him in something more his "style." how convenient that right after he vents his frustrations MK encounters exactly what he wants, but oh no, they're disappointed in his strength and prowess, he has to prove that wrong, he CAN prove that wrong.
see where i'm going? MK fell for Macky's web, hook-line-and-sinker because it was tailor made for him. BUT! this mentor/student dynamic does not last very long. and that's mostly because it never a long term relationship in the slightest. Macky always planned to use MK's powers for his own, so now the two are slotted into the enemies level. they were never on equal ground like MK thought, or even on a similar mentor/student level MK has with Wukong. Macaquack absolutely abused that dynamic for his own gain and MK lost his trust for it.
MK cannot trust Macky, why should he? in s2, MK and Macky's relationship is mostly antagonistic because Mk cannot trust Mac and Mac enjoys tormenting the guy by hanging his insecurities over him. they are not on equal ground. Mac only sees MK as some mortal child who is in over his head and thinks he can be a Wukong 2.0 while MK sees Mac as someone who betrayed his trust, tried to kill him and his mentor and it is very personal.
but then there's this interesting choice made by lmk. Mac warns MK of an upcoming danger. why does he do it? he had just proven that he is an enemy! but also, he ends up freeing MK's friends on the basis that it "wasn't fun anymore". why take pity (should we even call it pity) on MK enough to tell him that "big things are coming"?
why choose to give MK some (very vague) advice about what's to come? what caused Macky to decide to offer this information?
well, 1st it is clearly the writers' way of showing that there is more than meets the eye with Macky. this is a little indicator for the audience about "hey! keep an eye on him! he's more complex than you think! he's more than a stock villain!" 2nd, this is the very first push into Mac's more amiable relationship with MK.
in s3, Macky is under LBD's command and has to follow her orders or else she might send him back to the Diyu either by ripping his soul from his body, or encasing him in ice/bone. he is only on her side to survive. he doesn't even plan to stay. instead, it really looks like Mac wants to escape from her hold (which he eventually plans out after learning about the gang's mission to find the Rings of Samadhi).
when it comes to MK, Mac is very antagonistic. @shadowpeachyuri made a really great analysis on Macky's antagonistic behavior in s3. especially in 3x04 where he taunts and mocks MK for his self worth and powers, but he's also stalling from his own mission in retrieving MK for LBD. most of s3 is him stalling and picking fights with people rather than do his own job. not to mention, that he purposefully separated MK and Wukong believing it would be easier to retrieve them. but why all the stalling and hesitation? because he's upset with his circumstances, and wants to take out on everyone? yeah, that's definitely part of it.
still in s3 Mac is not trying to befriend MK, he's not trying to help him either, but he also isn't truly trying to catch him. his main objective is getting out of dodge, escaping and finding somewhere that is far from here. yet, he can't help but challenge MK into using his powers, offer some (very biased and skewed) advice on who the guy should trust. and it's not until "Embrace Your Destiny" when his on-again and off-again mood finally gets to MK because he saved MK, he brought MK to Mei and he gave them the Not-Mayor guy for information.
just...this whole exchange T^T
Mackardy: Look, I brought you the Lady Bone Demon's lapdog, but I'm not up for being a hero, kid.
here lies, Macky trying to tell MK that he is not on his side. he has been constantly antagonistic and while LBD is also his enemy, he was planning to just give MK and his gang enough help for them to plan out how to defeat her.
MK: We don't need you to beat him. We just need you to keep him busy. As long as he's [Monkey King] under her control the Mech's vulnerable. We can do this! You can do this.
enter MK, looking at Macky with such optimism and arguing back at Macky with the guy's own logic. it won't be a battle to try and defeat Wukong, Macky just has to "keep him busy". Stall, like he's been doing for all of s3. and he sprinkles in a bit more optimism and encouragement to sweeten the deal.
Macaroon: Nice speech, kid but it's not gonna-
MK: [frustrated growl] STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you're just in it for you! But I know deep, deep down: you're not that guy. Help us. Make it right.
Macadoodle: I'm not a hero, bud
MK: Then be a warrior!
personally, i feel like this is the moment where the two's new dynamic begins. also, Macky and MK's relationship feels a but more on equal footing. neither of them hold a pedestal or an image of who they are. MK is able to figure out that a lot of Macky's outward appearance is just that, an appearance. and Macky is able to see that MK isn't some Wukong 2.0 he imagined up in his head in s1. MK is the Monkey King's successor but he is also his own person who will and has made different decisions than Wukong.
after s3, their dynamic is very similar to mentor/student in 4x10, but not in the same way as in 1x09. Macky isn't trying to be manipulative or play with double meanings, he's actually trying to help and figured a video game rpg would be the best bet since MK likes video games. MK is able to snap back at Macky and isn't afraid of showing the monkey his worries and fears (something he's struggling to with Wukong and vice versa) because Macky has seen that side of him already.
idk it's fascinating. i feel like i'm repeating myself a lot, but my main takeaway is that MK and Wukong have a slow burn friendship that began with formalities and over the seasons, they gradually grew closer and more comfortable with admitting that they care about each other (mostly Wukong needed this help but it's ok). and MK and Macky's relationship though began as enemies, grew into 2 characters who view each other as equals by the end and respect ach other loads.
there be my thoughts *jazz hands*
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So here’s the thing: I know “redemption arc” is a commonly used fandom term for an arc where a character makes up for negative actions in their past and works to become better. Because many people use the term “redemption arc,” I know it has a certain usefulness for ease of communication between fans.
On a wholly personal level, though, I associate the word redemption so much with a particular brand of Christianity that I find it doesn’t resonate with me, or the kinds of stories I want to read or write. It feels too much like the goal of redemption is a particular level of moral purity, or a very specific type of salvation. It’s a loaded term, for me.
Maybe the word “redemption” doesn’t feel that way for you. That’s okay! I don’t think it’s wrong for everyone to talk about redemption arcs with that term. I’m only saying that I have such an emotional reaction to the word, it’s not as useful for me to use during my own posts/discussions.
Here’s a (possibly incomplete) list of words beginning with the letter R that I find more intriguing, when it comes to moving characters from a more negative ethical space to a more positive ethical space: restitution, restoration, reparations, rehabilitation, reflection, reconstruction, reintegration, repair, record, renewal.
And some more words that don’t begin with R that I find equally intriguing: healing, dialogue, accountability, growth, transformation, community, understanding, questioning.
What are your words? What themes do you like?
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