#tgwdlm headcanons

[amazingmsme]

okay okay okay so-

I'm picturing after Dan and Donna take their parental leave the news studio like freaks out and just grabs random Hatchetfield citizens to fill the void and they all do terribly. Like, Ted is just randomly rambling off about some shit and Charlotte's anxiety has just peaked. One time Peanuts and Proud Papa Ed host and it's amazing. Dan and Donna are at home laughing their asses off.

MDHSKSDH I’M FUCKING SCREEEAAAAMING IT’S LITERALLY LIKE THE FUCKING HUNGER GAMES! LIKE THEY DO A RANDOM DRAW & EVERYTHING!

Ok but what if Ted was coanchoring for Tom Houston, & it’s just 2 awkward dudes who aren’t 100% sure they vibe with each other trying to read cue cards. & Ted is trying to make Tom laugh mostly because he’s nervous & he needs to crack a joke or else he’ll explode & Tom is just staring at him like |:/ & Ted chuckles at his joke before turning away into his coffee mug to take a nervous sip

I think the age limit to enter is 18, which means you can have a fresh faced high school senior next to a woman going through a midlife crisis. & because I’m such a comedy genius, I think the cruel fates would pair Charlotte with none other than Max Jagerman. & of course she has no reason to fear him, she has no idea who he is other than “the quarterback.” But every time she stutters or slips up he fucking makes fun of her & it’s honestly painful to watch this sweet woman doing her best get bullied by this young cocky asshole. But hey, views! It escalates when Ted rushes in, wielding Peter’s old metal Spider-Man lunchbox full of rocks btw & whacks him upside the head. He’s barely conscious & Ted says “don’t you dare talk to her like that ever again. And leave my brother the fuck alone” everyone at Hatchetfield High is obsessed with that clip

The Peanuts episode is iconic, Papa Dan is just talking to himself while they put captions for what Peanuts is saying, but it’s just dead silence😂

It’s a much deserved break for Dan & Donna & they’re enjoying all the craziness!

#asks #anon ask #tgwdlm headcanons #black friday headcanons #npmd headcanons #hatchetfield headcanon #dan reynolds #donna daggit #ted spankoffski #tom houston #charlotte sweetly #max jagerman #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #black friday #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[hauntedmanuscripts]

I’m a trans Peter Spankovski truther

Exhibit A: The “micro Peter” insult (cause he ain’t got no dick)

Exhibit B: “My titties are tenderized”

Exhibit C: He’s in a small friend group with a at least 1 bisexual/queer person and, in my personal experience, queer nerds flock together in high school

Exhibit D: His character revolves around being a “social outcast”

Exhibit E: Because I’m trans and I said so

#starkid #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes spoilers #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #starkid npmd #npmd #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #black friday starkid #nightmare time #lautski #headcanon #trans headcanon #transmasc #hatchetfield

[myersesque]

i like to imagine that paul suit discourse happens in-universe too. it's like one of those "blue and black or white and gold" things - every new CCRP employee is interrogated on what colour they think paul's suit is, and then unknowingly dragged into war based on their answer. if CCRP ever has company bonding paintball games, the teams are always split by what colour they think paul's suit is. one day, ted asks him directly, and when paul 'disagrees' (it's his suit and it's brown, god damn it. it says it right there on the label, see!) he insists the poor guy must be colourblind or some shit.

#this is not a serious headcanon at all this is just a silly haha joke #og #horror tag #fav #hatchetfield #paul matthews #starkid #starkid productions #starkid musicals #nightmare time #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #paul suit discourse

[dawningfairytale]

one of the many reasons i love the bi paul headcanon (???) is how it’s a fuck you to stereotypes. “bi people are adventurous” “queer men are theatrical” “bi people are sluts”. no. here’s a guy who has lived in his hometown his whole life, hates musicals, and has one canon love interest across three musicals. he is awkward and tired and unsociable and will not see mamma mia. and he swings both ways but he won’t participate in the company softball league.

#tgwdlm #paul matthews #headcanon with question marks bc JON WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[ratsarecute4]

Some Hatchetfield Headcanons

Richie had a Warrior Cats phase in elementary school

Ruth owns a pet chameleon named Yoda

Max thinks that Pizza Pete's is owned by Pete, and that is where he gets the money for his rich kid bowtie

Mayor Lauter pays Steph's allowance in cryptocurrency

There was a month where the Clivesdale Chemists and the Hatchetfield Nighthawks had an even higher amount of hatred for eachother than usual. The Chemists accused the Nighthawks of stealing their mascot (they didn’t, the kid just moved to Hatchetfield)

Because of the mascot stealing allegations, the Chemists decided to steal the Nighthawks mascot for ransom, but they let Richie go after an hour because he wouldn't stop explaining the plot of One Piece

The problematic puppy Steph got in a Twitter fight about was the cop dog from Paw Patrol

Ziggy owns a couple of pet snakes

The Smoke Club has a rule that you must wear at least one weed-patterned item of clothing to meetings or else you're out of the club

Ted is one of those guys whose bedroom has just a mattress on the floor and a TV sitting on a bunch of cardboard boxes

Also Ted gives big lives in his parents' basement vibes

Steph had a creepypasta phase

No one at CCRP ever knows what to get Paul for work holiday parties so now he owns a bunch of gifted mugs and he's starting to run out of cabinet space because he doesn't want to get rid of anything that was gifted to him

The Hatchetfield High theatre department has never payed for the rights to a play. The students don't know about this. Ms Mulberry is fully aware of how illegal that is but continues to do it anyway. Hatchetfield is a small town, they won't get caught. Also the theatre department has like no funding

Grace was a horse girl in elementary school and she used to eat grass

Charlotte sells DoTERRA essential oils on the side. Everyone at the office has tried to tell her its basically a pyramid scheme but she doesn't believe them

Miss Holloway was a famous rockstar in the 80s, but after she made a deal with the Lords in Black, her past existence was wiped from everyone's memories and no one ever listened to her songs again

Grace has OCD, specifically religious scrupulosity

Richie owns so many body pillows that he no longer has room for himself on his bed

Ruth and Sherman Young have beef with eachother from Ruth's middleschool My Little Pony phase

Kyle is autistic and I will die on this hill

Max's mom dissapeared after being crowned Honey Queen. She wanted the prize money to support her family because Max's father was layed off from his job

I just know Brenda and Stacy are super into astrology

Local teens describe Paul's aesthetic as "cardboardcore"

Ted has one of these tattoos. He doesn't remember getting it and it took him forever to notice because it is on his back. It is a miracle that it never got infected

#hatchetfield #hatchetfield headcanon #ted spankoffski #paul matthews #max jägerman #max jagerman #grace chasity #charlotte sweetly #miss holloway #richie lipschitz #pete spankoffski #ruth fleming #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #nightmare time #honey queen #killer track #clivesdale #sherman young

[moosha-mushroom]

guys we need people to start drawing the Hatchetfield characters with incredibly cartoonish proportions to really indicate their personality. I WANNA SEE ART OF:

Solomon Lauter a twig of a man with a demonic vibe to him

Frank Pricely being a somewhat stout, dwarvish man with giant ass glasses

Sam Sweetly having a permanent smile and the glasses literally just being his eyes

Boy Jeri and Girl Jeri having thin statures yet Jeri having a heart shaped face and giant doe eyes

Paul being a crumbling mess with eyes that look they they could flood the world with their tears

Ziggy having the proportions of a Picasso drawing

Deb’s face being hidden by her beanie

Gary Goldstein being geometric AS FUCK.

ALL OF THE LORDS IN BLACK BEING SHAPES I SWEAR. Wiggly the malformed circle, Blinky the diamond, Tinky the b o x, Pokey the triangle, and Nibbly the oval(s)

#hatchetfield #nightmare time #black friday #tgwdlm #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #headcanons and stuff #lords in black

[starlost-starkid]

How I imagine the Lords in Black

This is at times really abstract, sorry about that

Pokey: Although he often carries his cracked stone mask, it is not a part of him: It’s no more than a mask. Pokotho is the blue goo from TGWDLM, but he makes up his own form: He can be as big or small that he wants to be. I mostly associate him with bacteria or virus. He is an amalgamation of small parts, like a Portuguese man o’ war. He is microscopic blue mushroom spores that destroy your lungs once inhaled. He’s also utter alien. I envision minerals, rocks, strange fungi. But most of all: Pure emptiness. 

Blinky: Bliklotep is the least physical LiB to me. I see him as everything and nothing, just constantly observing. Every time you see eye-shaped holes or protrusions in a tree, the eye-like mimicry on butterfly wings, keyholes, or looking down a long spiral-staircase: that’s Blinky watching. 

Tinky: This case feels opposite to Blinky: T’noy Karaxis is inherently physical to me. His head is almost always a half-decayed skull of a goat, with its lower jaw missing. His goats horns are long, seeming to twist an impossible amount of times. A ticking sound seems to always emit from his head. His body however is relatively humanoid, but always wrong. The proportions are twisted and uncanny. The length of the torso and legs seem to shift, with fingers and goat-hooves twisting together. However he may appear he is always filthy, often bent over his toy box.

Nibbly: Apart from his once-a-year awakening on our physical plane, I find Nibblenephim difficult to place. Maybe because I find him sad. He is pure energy, a force of constant hunger and craving. He has no eyes or any discernible facial features apart from his mouth, which consists of rows upon rows of teeth. 

Wiggly: Wiggog Y’wrath is incomprehensibly large. If you were to look upon him, he would only seem to reach higher and higher- until you can’t see further. His tentacles reach from his face all the way to the ground. When not under water, moisture and humidity follow him, often with the occasional floating bubble (silly). 

#is this anything? #this started as a fan art idea then the cosmic horror kinda just poured out of me #thank you lang brothers #hatchetfield headcanon #starkid #hatchetfield #nightmare time #black friday #npmd #tgwdlm #the lords in black #lords in black #pokey #pokotho #blinky #bliklotep #tinky starkid #tnoy karaxis #nibbly starkid #nibblenephim #wiggly #wiggog y'wrath #starkid headcanon #cloud rambles

[akicklineisinevitable]

an incredibly silly hatchetverse headcanon that i need to inflict on all of you is that Paul Normalguy Matthews had a goth/emo phase in high school. this has no basis in canon but i think it would be so fucking funny. when Richie dyes his hair blue Paul says oh i had blue hair when i was your age too :) and Richie says hey uncle Paul what the fuck did you just say

#the goth teen to boring adult pipeline in action #he went to shows at the slaughtered pig ofc. #originals #hatchetverse #hatchetfield #hatchetfield musicals #hatchetfield series #hatchetfield universe #hatchetverse headcanons #hatchetfield headcanons #paul matthews #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals

[soggedboytroutanti]

You know how Emma said Paul should play "his video games" in forever and always. i need to see him play minecraft. i need to see him play fnaf.

#paul matthews tgwdlm #tgwdlm #hatchetfield #starkid #emma perkins #forever and always #forever and always starkid #paul matthews #paul 23 #emdroid #emma perkins android #fnaf #five nights at freddys #video games #minecraft #headcanons

[secondstar-acorn]

paul matthews is so incredibly autistic-coded

- not great with social cues (“are you coming to the company softball game” “no” “oh. Well it might be fun” “yeah. I don’t want to though”) slash functions socially through repetition (“do you want anything? How about a nice caramel frap, nothing better!”)

- can be pretty literal (“why did I come back here” “to…drink???”)

- routine (single black coffee at Beanie’s every day) and comfort zone (staying in Hatchetfield for his whole life)

- stimming (vocal: “okay. okay. okay.” and physical: *tapping his fists together*)

#I know this is a popular headcanon but nonetheless #I gotta reiterate #tgwdlm #Paul matthews #team Starkid #the guy who didn’t like musicals #I love him so much

[amazingmsme]

Ted has an iron deficiency and he refuses to acknowledge that as a possibility. Pete, Charlotte and Paul are aware about this fact.

This is so funny & so in character! Ted goes to the extreme to deny any ailments or “weaknesses” he might have. Like he’ll deny he’s sick even as he’s so stuffy he can’t breathe. But he just thinks everyone feels a little weak & woozy when they stand. Paul noticed when Ted nearly passed out after he stood up too quick from his desk & he just assumed Ted knew & was trying to keep it on the DL. & I feel like maybe Peter let Charlotte know so that she could keep an eye on him because he worries about him. Meanwhile Ted is oblivious to everything

#asks #thisisbjustmehyperfixating #tgwdlm headcanons #npmd headcanons #hatchetfield headcanon #ted spankoffski #peter spankoffski #paul matthews #charlotte sweetly #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[notanerdyprude]

headcanon time

teds parents used to take him to poland every year over the summer to keep him in touch with his heritage. when they died and pete got placed in his care, ted started doing the same to keep pete in touch w his heritage too. they both speak to each other primarily in polish and are both completely fluent in it. they never tell anyone they speak it, however, so anytime someone comes over and they start talking to each other in polish they immediately go “WHAT THE FUCK YOU SPEAK POLISH?!” they find it hilarious every time

#starkid #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #tgwdlm #the guy who didnt like musical #hatchetfield #ted spankoffski #peter spankoffski #spankoffski bros #headcanon

[exalt1ora]

does your hatchetfield fav watch reality TV?

currently watching love is blind and was inspired by the autism. tried to include like every character im sure i missed some 💐🫶

-

all the time, invested 100 percent: zoey chambers, linda monroe, ruth fleming, max jägerman (canon to me sorry abt it), prof. hidgens, jason jepson, sam sweetly, lucy stockworth, sylvia, eddie chiplucky

for shits and giggles: emma perkins, ethan green, ziggs, rose, donna daggit, brenda, jenny, sheila young, zach chambers

says it's 'ironically' but is actually into it: stephanie lauter, alice woodward, ted spankoffski, officer bailey, gerald monroe, gary goldstein, sophia 'spitfire'

watches only because someone they care about is into it: peter spankoffski, bill woodward, kyle clauger, deb

doesn't have time for that shit: becky barnes, lex foster, miss holloway, barry swift, greenpeace girl, wilbur cross, frank pricely, detective shapiro, jane perkins, mr. davidson, nora, paul 23, emdroid, kale

can't watch without getting sad cus of the fighting and drama: charlotte sweetly, duke keane, hannah foster, dan reynolds, stacy, girl jeri, thrash, daniel 'stopwatch'

actively hates reality tv: paul matthews, grace chasity, richie lipschitz, tom houston, general macnamara, melissa, mayor lauter, boy jerry, sherman young

#hatchetfield #headcanons #reality tv #sillyposting #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #nightmare time #nmt

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

I think Clivesdale collectively just told Hatchetfield, "May you live in interesting times," and it's been eldritch gods ever since.

Fucking Clivesdale. Damn them to hell.

#tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #black friday musical #black friday starkid #nightmare time #nmt2 #hatchetfield #hatchetfield universe #team starkid #starkid #headcanon #clivesdale #shitpost

[marvelmaniac715]

My Paul Is Pokotho’s Prophet Theory:

I developed this theory with a friend and thought I’d post it here. I’ve seen this idea in one or two fanfictions before, but I thought I’d post it here because why not?

From the very start of the apotheosis, it’s all about Paul, almost every song we see is meant to advance his story. The narrative of the show is set up to find out his ‘wants’, and ultimately, he just wants Emma. By the end of the musical, he does in fact get Emma, just not in the way he predicted.

The hive never truly hurts him like it does the other people who get infected, instead, just like in the scene following ‘Not Your Seed’, they talk to him. Even what they say to him is quite interesting:

“We just keep running into each other, don’t we Paul?”

Of course, they threaten him, but they don’t actually hurt him, even though they have a gun at their disposal. They can’t hurt him, he’s the protagonist. He’s always been the protagonist. Why else would the hive have a whole number where they anticipate Paul arriving where they reference him as the ‘star of the show’. Why else would he literally be in the title, why would the opening number discuss him in detail and proclaim his tale as the ‘last remaining story to tell’? Pokotho created this musical, he wants all eyes on his prophet and - by extension - himself.

Obviously, he’s one of the last people to become infected, which is why he (presumably) became the leader, because of his internal strength and resilience, but if we look at this through the lens of my theory, here’s what I think is going on:

Just like with Hannah Foster and Webby, Pokotho came to Paul as a child, and just like how Webby gave Hannah prophecies to protect her, Pokotho tried to convince Paul to watch musicals in order to prepare him for his inevitable destiny of being his representative on Earth. But Paul was frightened of the voice in his head trying to make him watch musicals, so frightened that he developed a strong disliking for musicals in general, because it felt like the only way he could control the voice in his head. He tried to live an ordinary life, almost too ordinary, because he was scared of the voice trying to control him and force him into spontaneity. His desire to be with Emma was his undoing, because Pokotho finally had a plot line for his musical.

In the final song of the show, the hive follows Paul’s lead, as if he’s their king. This makes much more sense if we see Paul as Pokotho’s prophet, because the hive would naturally follow the closest thing to their god/leader. Pokotho ensured that his prophet and the woman that drove him to finally want were the last people to survive because if Emma died Paul would have nothing else to want; and the second Paul is fulfilling his predetermined role, Emma is killed.

It’s a pretty obvious theory, I know, but I wanted to present my ideas to potentially expand this theory. I also have a theory that McNamara is Tinky’s prophet that stems from his famous line ‘Wear a watch!’, but nobody wants to hear that 😂.

#team starkid #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #hatchetfield #paul matthews #emma perkins #pokotho #lords in black #hannah foster #webby #theory #fan theory #headcanons

[pretty-boy-eddie]

* These are based on scenarios and not an actual cause of death- though if you have thoughts on that let me know!

#nerdy prudes must die #hatchetverse #tgwdlm #richie lipschitz #max jagerman #peter spankoffski #the guy who didn't like musicals #Headcanons #starkid npmd