#that everyone is just nice to me bc they feel sorry for me or something

[lynnlovesthestars]

Stealth check failed.

Pairing: Astarion x oc

Warnings and Genre: a bit of hurt comfort, fluff, smut, masturbation, sa survivor oc, anxiety mentions, ptsd allusion, panic attack mentioned, guilt, dealing with sex and ptsd- briefly touched cause i was too emotional to go too deep-, past sexual abuse mentions, oc backstory mentioned, feelings and not dealing with them..

Synopsis: Lynn doesn't expect to get caught, but mostly he doesn't expect to come clean on why he is the way he is. Avoidant.

Author notes at the end bc yes, and no taglist bc of the warnings.

Lynn had waited until everyone was retiring to their tents before sneaking off. Astarion had been particularly touchy and flirty and as much as he tried to focus on other things, like the tadpole in his brain, his body begged to differ.

He looked for a nice clearing, one where he could take all the time he needed and stay undisturbed, especially if he was going to end up in tears afterwards. He had initially planned to stay in his tent, keeping it quiet yet he recalled how harshly his body could react to touch and maybe it was better to leave the area. No chaos surge to hurt his friends.

Nevertheless even as he looked around for a calm spot, Lynn couldn’t help but think of how Astarion would grasp at Lynn’s hips and pull him closer whenever they needed to hide, or how he had winked and blew him a kiss while Lynn was trying to charm one of the Absolutists they had ran into. The thing that rendered completely helpless though, was when Lynn took a particularly hard hit, and Astarion caught him before he could reach the floor. Lynn was not sure how he didn’t die on the spot when Astarion whispered in his ear “Don’t die on me, darling. Who will be my midnight snack then?” Lynn was *never* going to recover from it.

As he strolled, he ended up finding a nice spot near a river, good enough to also bathe after he was done. He laid down the blanket near a tree, freed quickly from his clothes and laid down. The gentle breeze of the night caressed his skin as he took a deep breath and guided his palm to his aching cock already begging for relief, while he tried to free his mind.

Lynn could almost picture the feeling of Astarion’s fangs as they grazed his neck, his strong hands holding his hips possessively, the feeling of Astarion's legs wrapped around his hips, as he stroked himself and softly moaned Astarion's name as if it was a prayer.

His fist couldn't compare remotely with how Astarion would have felt around him, how his cum would drip all over Lynn's chest or how prettily Astarion would gasp his name. Astarion, Astarion, Astarion. It was all he could imagine, no more Jenneleth, no more Tyrx, just Astarion consuming his very bones.

Astarion didn't stumble on him on purpose, he was gingerly looking for dinner when he heard his name, barely audible between the cicadas cries, and then it was impossible for him to ignore how familiar those *pretty* sighs were.

Lynn was not too far, sprawled over a blanket as he touched himself and softly moaned. Even though he was bigger, he still looked so delicate under the moonlight as his pale cheeks flushed, his hair were all over the place and his chest heaved just as quick as he pumped his fist desperately. Lynn had already stirred something in Astarion, more than once, but this image in front of his eyes? It was possibly the hottest thing he had ever seen.

“My my what a sight to behold '' He purred as he strode closer, before Lynn had even time to cover himself, Astarion was laying next to him, laying on his side to look down at the changeling. “I was quite enjoying the way you were moaning my name. '' His hand gently reached for Lynn's hip to rest on his stomach, teasingly brushing the tip of his cock as he grazed his ear and had him shiver under him. 

“Shit I'm sorry-” Lynn was about to let out a string of apologies when Astarion hushed him, his hand trailing up and down his stomach, tracing his muscles.

“Don't you dare” Astarion tutted softly as he leaned forward and cupped his cheek. Lynn looked at him with soft round eyes, the stars reflected in the black void of his eyes. Astarion had to hold back from stealing a kiss from his lips as he traced Lynn's cheekbone. “I was enjoying the view” He smiled as he kissed his neck before pulling him in his arms completely. Lynn's head rested on his chest, his back pressed against Astarion's cold skin as the elf wrapped around him despite being smaller. He could smell the sweetness of his blood, inviting him to take a bite as the other laid there, easing down from the tension. Astarion gently tilted Lynn's head asking silently for approval and earning a nod.

Lynn, as he felt the other’s lips brush against his neck, he breathlessly reached for his cock again, his palm working hard to please himself. “Such a good boy” Astarion murmured as he sunk his nails in Lynn’s hip while the other rutted desperately in his fist. There was something about his compliment that left the changeling breathless and shaking, loving the way it rolled off his lips and stuck to him. It was like a sweet torture, as he tried to keep himself together on all possible levels.

Astarion gently grazed his fangs over Lynn pulse point, looking for those pretty wounds where he'd sunk his teeth into countless of times already and soon Lynn was taken over the pang. It was so exhilarating as it was quickly replaced by the fizzing feeling of his blood pouring between Astarion’s lips. He could barely hold back the guttural moan he itched to let out.

“Next time I want you to come to me” Astarion purred against Lynn's skin, as he let his fingers wander lower and lower until his pads grazed Lynn's tight hole, causing a long stutter down Lynn's lips. Damned vampire read him like a book, his every movement caught him off guard and desperate as he cooed dumb praises between sips of his blood.

“So sensitive” He hummed as his palm rested on top of Lynn's fist, joining it in pleasuring the changeling. Astarion could read it in the way Lynn could barely keep his eyes open and his mouth closed; how quickly he twitched, he was close. He let go of his neck gently, kissing the wound. 

He grasped at the hand, pulling it away and touching him directly, his warm, pulsing cock slid between his dexterous fingers, uncaring if his precum would hastily stain the fabric of his white shirt.

His strokes were fast, determined, as he focused on Lynn’s reaction, how he melted under his open mouthed kisses. “There’s my good boy.” He cooed as he took a moment to look better at the changeling and at how his lips parted to make space for the soft whimpers Astarion was lowkey fond of.

Lynn was breathless, air missing from his lungs as all he could focus on was the way Astarion praised and stroked him languidly. There it was, he could feel his orgasm on the tip of his tongue, desperate to be reached as unease settled in Lynn’s stomach, the panic quickly making its way through as he was just expecting.

“’Starion..” He moaned as he resisted the involuntary buckle of his hips. “C-close, C-can’t” He panted and whined desperately. Why why why did he have to panic? He admonished himself as he wanted Astarion to keep going, he wanted to push him past his fear, he wanted to make it, and Astarion was there to remind him.

“I know you can do it, my love” He murmured with a familiar yet unknown tenderness trying to hush the voices, as his hand slowed down to give Lynn time to breathe and back out, only to earn a whine Lynn again, begging Astarion to keep going to ignore his plea, to ease the ache as he buckled his hips and twitched. It was so much, almost too much for his touch starved body, his senses on full alert as every inch of his body was taut like a violin string. Astarion. It was Astarion that was stroking him, having him bliss, holding him as he could barely control his fingers from grasping at the fabric he was laying on as he arched his back, thrusting in the palm despite his fear catching up too him. He just had to outrun his nightmares as he tried his best to keep his eyes open, focused on Astarion to ground.

Astarion.

It was Astarion.

“You are doing so good already, my love” He praised and praised as Lynn tried to focus on the sweetness of his words, on the build up in his stomach as he choked a moan and blushed, as he chased the feeling desperately while Astarion’s honeyed words echoed in his head. “I want you to come darling” He invited the changeling. “I want you to come for me” He purred just before the twitches turned in long squirts of his cum, heavily coating his fingers, while the vampire lapped at the blood still flowing from the wounds, letting out lewd moans of his own.

Lynn trembled in Astarion's arms, still being run over the orgasm as he softened in the vampire's grasp, spent like he had never been before, and shocked. “You did so well” Astarion whispered as he fixed a stand of Lynn's hair behind his ear and finally closed the distance between them with a kiss. One unexpected thing after the other. Lynn gasped in surprise as their lips first pressed together, slowly coming to a dance together. The taste of his blood took over his senses as he gently turned to repay the kiss with the same slow burning ardor Astarion was pouring in,

Astarion didn't entirely know why he did it, he could have done anything, yet instead he felt the need to kiss him, to taste his lips, to slowly bite into them. Despite this sudden need- he didn't expect the goosebumps that ran through his skin as the changeling wrapped himself around Astarion protectively, the tumultuous feeling in his stomach slowly swallowed him, just as much as Lynn didn't expect to feel so dizzy and blissed post-orgasm. Lynn had expected to be alone, possibly- most likely- cutting off his jerking session with anxiety, and yet he was breathless for a totally different reason. Slowly the kiss turned in a soft and breathless waltzer of brushing lips, occasionally trying to reach forward to steal one more kiss as they felt insatiable.

“Starion?” Lynn softly breathed out as they laid there, foreheads pressed together as the elf replied only with a hum. Lynn hated to break the moment, but sleep was slowly catching up to him as well as the cum that was going to stick to his skin. “I initially planned to take a bath” he started as he cupped his cheek shortly. “Would you like to join?” He asked as he wished to steal him away for a while longer.

“Are you saying I'm smelling awful?” Astarion gasped playfully while bringing a hand to his chest dramatically.

o-o-o

If Lynn thought Astarion was stunning before, once he was undressed and soaking in the cold water, he was breathtaking. He had to fight the urge to stare at the way the moonlight reflected against his pallid skin or his fair hair, or the way the featherlight touch of the moon reflected against his crimson eyes. He had to resist the urge to speak his mind and let him know how he felt. “I love you” He wanted to scream yet he simply smiled and joined him in the water.

Lynn's mage hand carefully followed him carrying his bath soaps as he leaned against the trunk of a fallen tree.

“Come here and let me help you” The changeling invited him closer as he poured little of the contents of one of the bottles in his palm and gently sudsed his own hair, roughly running his fingers between the strands and the dried blood from the long day of fighting while he waited on Astarion’s answer.

Astarion didn't hesitate to come closer, as he sported his cocky smirk. “Help.. how, darling?” He asked sultry, causing Lynn to blush instantly at the implications as if he didn’t just get caught touching himself.

“With your hair” He smiled with his red cheeks in full display, yet uncaring to hide his softness. “Let me take care of you” 

Astarion was confused by his intentions, if he wanted to fuck he just had to say it, he had already made it clear at the tiefling party, and all the times he had explicitly mentioned wanting to have fun, and yet in the words of the changeling there was only tenderness. Astarion didn’t ponder though, accepting any crumb of whatever that was, albeit he kept his guard up.

Lynn poured more of the product and stepped closer to Astarion. He could feel his chest gently brushing with his back as his fingers got lost in the curls.

Astarion had to fight himself to keep that sigh under control as Lynn pressed his pads on his scalp with a tenderness he had never experienced. They massaged deeply as he could feel the warmth of his breath on his neck. Suddenly his cheeks were warm and the peaceful silence between them had to be filled one way or another, he thought.

“You know..” He stopped a moment to make sure he had Lynn's attention as he started rinsing his hair. “At the tiefling party I thought you didn't like me” Astarion giggled, trying his best to hide his weariness. He was curious to find out why he didn't show up, and then caught jerking off moaning his name, it had only been a couple of days at best.

“Me?” Lynn stared at him in disbelief, stopping for a moment on his track while his thoughts sped trying to catch up with him. 

“Uh, yeah” He turned, the drops of water falling from his curls to his pearly skin as their eyes met in the middle. “You didn't show up after everyone went to bed” He said as a matter of fact, as if that automatically meant he didn’t like him- far far from the truth.

“No I-” Lynn hesitated, wondering if it was the time to share something so delicate- or maybe it was better to wait, it was hard to think about it twice. “I panicked and ended up taking a walk alone,” He admitted. He couldn’t keep it for himself, despite the wound still hurt, Astarion had opened plenty to him about Cazador and his years as a spawn, it was the least Lynn could do, share about his own haunting past.

“You panicked?” Astarion batted his eyes as Lynn turned the other way, reaching for the soap. Despite the shock Astarion couldn't help but follow the movements of the changeling, the way his hands glided over his skin and the way his nails scraped the blood away before he threw him the soap bar. He almost forgot for a moment what they were doing until his vampire reflexes anticipated what he was too distracted to notice.

“Yup” He replied simply. “But anyways I like you so, rest assured” He said, still avoiding Astarion's eyes as his cheeks abandoned their pallor in favor of the pinkish hue of his blush at his clumsy admission. Astarion couldn't ignore the pang of guilt in his stomach, Lynn liked him, and Astarion had tried to manipulate him- more than once. He had lied, he had tried to kill him, he had tried to drink his blood. He had been several levels of awful to him, and guilt bit him when he least expected.

“I'm relieved, darling” He smiled as he was truly relieved on one side, he couldn't help but find solace in the fact that he didn't lose Lynn's favor, yet maybe there was something more he was not ready to see. He took a few paces closer to Lynn, their chests just inches away as he cupped Lynn's cheek and leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

It was an innocent kiss, Astarion swore to himself as he lingered closer, with his eyes closed as their noses brushed together. Just his act. Just his personal reminder that Lynn was not affecting him as he was being conditioned to think.

There was something about Lynn that Astarion couldn't resist, that made him desire- no, yearn for the closeness that Lynn offered him, as if once he had a taste of it, it became addicting. Why couldn’t he back away? Why did his fingers reach for the back of his head, twisting in the long strands of Lynn’s hair? Why did he lean forward again, letting go of the last fragment of sanity, and clinging to Lynn's lips? And why didn’t Lynn let go of him? Why did he hold him to his chest? Why did he kiss back as if there was something deeper within them?

Astarion sighed as he wrapped his legs around Lynn’s middle and rested his head on his shoulder while the other allowed the water to rock them peacefully, uncaring if the soap would smear all over the place. He was not yet ready to give up the corner of peace that they crawled in.

“Thank you, by the way.” Lynn broke the silence, already regretting doing so even though he knew he had to do it. He had to thank him, cause it had been a miracle of sorts, and despite the embarrassment, he owed him that- cause it would finally explain why he didn’t show up back at the party and his own guilt would finally be eased.

“Uh?” Astarion raised his head to meet the changeling’s eyes, surprised to find his cheeks rosy once more. He assumed it was for the closeness. 

“Earlier when you helped me, it was a long time since I was able to finish.” He lowered his head, embarrassed of opening up about the topic just as much as he was afraid and ashamed, although Astarion was truly the only one that could understand. “I don't think I could have done it alone”

Astarion was so close to connecting the dots. “Is that why you didn't show at the party?” He asked with a softer voice and earned a nod. Lynn's usual chattering was replaced by half nodded yeses and half explained sentences, as if he wanted Astarion to figure it out rather than saying it out loud, and he did, cause he could read it in his eyes. He recognized the kind of shame they carried, the meaning of that half explained thank you and his hesitation.

“Did someone hurt you?” Astarion asked as he cupped his cheek, his hand imperceptibly shaking as it traced the other's skin. He hated the question just as much as he hated the nod Lynn couldn't run from, while silence fell between the two. Lynn's eyes dropped to the water, focusing on the swarm of guppies swimming away while Astarion weighed the words he was going to use. How far was too far? He asked himself. “How long?” Astarion managed to ask, carefully. His desire to rip to pieces whoever hurt Lynn gently weighted between the unsaid words.

“For 4 years, I was imprisoned on a ship..” He started with faltering voice, his usual confidence truly lost with the fishes as he tried opening up, yet failed miserably. Words came out half eaten, stammered, hesitant. “They had me in chains, to be used and discarded” He shook his head. He had found out how long it passed only after he was able to be set free, the weight of time finally catching up, it had been merely a year since he had ran away, no more that six months since he regained the strength to speak, and barely an hour since he had let someone else touch him.

“For the whole four years?” Astarion gently tilted up his chin before catching a stray tear that reached his thumb down past the changeling's pale lips. Another silent nod was unavoidable as Astarion's guilt was gnawing deeper and deeper while anger bubbled up. Lynn shuddered, biting down the rest of the tears as they dropped the topic and slowly resumed their bath, in silence. That single tear and those broken words reverberated in the hollow silence as they bathed. It was only then that Astarion noticed the scars on the other’s skin, deep lashes, burn marks, old untreated wounds, the haunting scar that crossed his right eye.

He wanted to vomit, the guilt was far from leaving him, along with a distaste he had never felt before.

Minutes later, the two were close once again, as they shared the towel to dry themselves. Lynn’s eyes focused on the small bag he had carried, avoiding Astarion’s gaze until he couldn’t anymore. He reached down, pulling out his clean white button up and turning towards Astarion. “Your clothes are dirty from today, wear this” He offered the shirt to him. Astarion was amazed by his ability to hide behind words, not recognizing how often he did it as well. When things would get too emotional, he was ready to stir the conversation away, just how Lynn had done with his shirt in hand.

“How about you?” Astarion asked hesitantly, the shirt was still folded in his hands and handed out to him. At the question, Lynn decided to take the matter into his hands, quickly unfolding it and holding it for Astarion to wear.

“Looks better on you.” He mumbled as he motioned Astarion to slip his arms into it, allowing the cloth to drape his shoulders. Lynn was gentle even as he helped Astarion turn and gently buttoned the shirt up.

“Look at you…” Astarion said dramatically, letting go of the thoughts that were still clouding his brain, focusing on the man in front of him. “I didn't know you were good at flirting,” Astarion teased as he placed his hands on Lynn’s bare chest, this time ignoring the feeling in the pit of his stomach and trying to embrace his flirtatious self again. His palm grazed one of the scars, right where his heart was beating, he could feel it against his palm, still thrumming.

“Why? You liked it?” He asked as the faint remark of a smile made its way on the changeling’s lips.

“Perhaps”

“Good”

AN: TLDR: I still dont know what im saying but well, if its poorly written, i havent read it more than twice bc words didnt make so much sense, it was an excercise of brain matter for me to figure out how to write these emotions so i apologize if its messy.

i created Lynn during a breakdown, i was rawdogging my ptsd and when my friends told me "ive got a dnd campaign, wanna join?" i took it upon me to write the most gut wrenching bckstory, not too different from my own. I had spent days putting together what later on would be my most treasured creation, and my own way of dealing with years of repressed emotions and memory fog. It was 2020 when I wrote about him first. He had been the projection of my gender dysphoria, he had been the projection of my trauma on several layers, and he has been my tool for healing. Healing is different for everyone, but he helped me even though he doesn't exists for everyone but me. Why am i sharing this? I dont know, it's almost the anniversary of that breakdown and i just feel like its right to give a bit of the story behind so much sadness. (also because a lot of times in the ask i have had people pointing out how similar their stories are on several layers, babygirls (genderneutral) it's my trauma i wish it wasnt so close /lh)(and because i dont actually talk about my trauma, i have kept it a secret from my parents, friends, family, even my own boyfriends and girlfriends over the years, and only now i feel just a tinsy bit confident to touch topics, i just used to write a lot of DDDNE back then which should have been a red flag for all my irls but thats another topic) It was a coincidence that years later id come to find out Astarion and a joke of faith when the first run i did with an oc, ended up being lynn's. This to say idc how many people will read this, how many will hate it or love it, how many will tell me that maybe this is not the place to deal with it, idc. It's my pity party and i pick the trauma projection /j. now u know why i write a lot of hurt comfort

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion x reader #bg3 astarion #lynn: updates☆ #astarion x tav #bg3 x reader #astarion ancunin #astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion acunin #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion baldurs gate #astarion baldurs gate 3 #astarion brainrot #astarion fanfic #astarion fanfiction #astarion fic #astarion fluff #astarion headcanon #astarion romance #astarion x dark urge #astarion x durge #astarion x male tav #astarion x oc #astarion x reader fluff #astarion x you #baldur's gate 3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 astarion

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

#holocene.txt #hlcn: story extras #consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :) #i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me #it really does mean a lot #it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/ #i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues #i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing #and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it #and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything #i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned #i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels #i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice #and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly #i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[tianhai03]

another C’s coloring post! my sparda twins body type headcanons but now in Color

#im running out of things to say for their submissions im so sorry <///3 #C is like single handedly keeping my blog alive rn while i struggle with getting work done everyone thank them #also the flags werent there originally but their additions mean a lot to me thank you C :') #fan's colorings #devil may cry #vergil(dmc) #dante(dmc) #beep beep from here on out it's gonna be my ramblings for C bc once again i have no other ways to talk to them so you guys can stop reading #C your speed in doing these is like. scaring me youre almost submitting one every other day ASJKDHASKJDHJASK #and as much as i want people to appreciate your stuff i think we should slow things down a bit #(and i think its about time i drew something new for you to color as well lmao i havent posted any new drawings in a while) #so maybe you should try spending more time on each piece! maybe try experimenting with new coloring style! smth like that idk #if you dont want to thats understandable too youve been improving already #but i think i'll wait till you submit a few more first before i post them together #yknow just so im not posting way too frequently; and you wont feel like you need to keep making more! #remember to take breaks! take care and have a nice day :) #allyart

[unreadpoppy]

Saw a video and it got me in a mood so i'm making this post.

I don't think people who have never been fat knows how fucking hard it is to find clothing for bigger bodies.

The first issue is finding stuff in your actual size. Because time after time after time and time again I've gone to a store and they only had small and medium sizes. Not even large. And this was not for a few clothes, no. It was for MOST clothes that I found interesting. And then the ones that were marked as large were simply not big enough.

And I know that the reason for that is that brands simply won't make clothes for fat people. It's that because it surely isn't because the large size is selling out fast. They just don't do it. And some people have the nerve to say 'well brands are not obligated to make sizes for everyone' yeah sure, but also, I can't walk naked on the street can I?

Like I don't get it. 'oh but we want our clothes to fit a especific body' so fucking make clothes that are supposed to fit bigger bodies. Doesn't have a to be a whole ass collection.

And then we get on the second problem which is making clothes for plus size people that are ugly as hell. It's always the same stuff: ugly florals, animal print that belongs in another decade, cold shoulders, that weird extra fabric at the end of a shirt to hide the belly, or just black/muted colors.

Like fun fact. If you have big boobs, the hardest thing in the world is trying to find a bra that comes in a color that isn't white, black or beige. Because trust me, I've spent 3 hours walking in the shopping mall and I couldn't find anything that fit my breasts that was like pink (and in that situation I needed a pink bra for a play).

It feels like most clothes made for plus sized people are designed with like 50+ year old white women in mind, and not even that demographic of people are wearing those clothes (my mom is a plus sized 50+ year old white woman and often talks about how ugly some clothes made for people her size are).

It's hard trying to develop your own sense of style when none of the clothes around you are in your size, and when they do, they are just not good looking to you.

But you wanna know what's the down right worst part? Do you know what fucking brand has clothes that look good and are amde for bigger bodies?

The goddamn cancer on this earth that is Shein.

I fucking hate shein. Fast fashion is killin the fashion industry, they literally have people working as slaves and many influecers buy shein clothes by the bulk only to then throw it in the trash. Shein is awful.

But. Unfortunetly, shein is the only place that I found that had clothes that fit me and looked good. I don't like that. I avoided buying from shein for the longest time ever, but jesus christ, when you can't find clothes anywhere else you get desperate.

I tried looking for other places. I tried looking at my local clothing stores and everything was too small for me. I tried looking at online small bussinesses but they either didn't make my size, or it was sold out, or the prices were very high. Tried looking at thrift stores, also didn't find my size.

I try not to buy too much from shein or to spend long periods of time in between buying, because again, I feel bad about buying there. I don't want to buy from there.

Clothing brands/stores gotta do better. And I don't think that's asking for too much.

#this is less polite as i usually am because i'm so fucking tired of this shit #like these brands make probably millions every year #why is it apparently too much to ask for clothes in bigger sizes???? #like idk i think everyone should be able to buy clothes that fit them and look nice??? #and like god i don't want anyone to come on here be um actually it's very hard for the clothing industry to be inclusive #bc this post ain't about that #this post is about how frustrating it is to find clothes when you're fat #and also don't come for me bc of where i'm buying some stuff from ok #i feel so fucking guilty every time i buy from there #and like my friends buy from shein like every other week practically #i usually buy from there every 6+ months or so #and it's usually like a dress or two #at least i know that I don't throw clothes in the trash #if there's something here or there that doesn't look amazing but it's workable i'll go to the seamstress #if it doesn't fit me at all (which is a risk that can happen with online shopping) i donate it #and i will wear clothes until i can't wear them anymore #and even when i can't wear them anymore they they are usually still in a good enough condition that i can donate it to charity #or to someone close to my family who might give it a better use #this is a very big rambling sorry about this it's just aaaaaaaaa #i probably should go sleep

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman. #there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind. #the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

[hella1975]

forever wishing sam fender would unrelease dead boys

#it’s like the moment I get a glimmer of hope for my hometown it reminds me of how awful it is #I feel like I’m screaming underwater at people like there’s something actually insidious about that town #and I’ve BEEN saying it and it keeps getting written off as youthful angst #bc of COURSE you hate your hometown! everyone hates their hometown! #but now I’m going to another funeral for a boy in my year and it’s another suicide and I don’t even know him #i havent seen him since primary school I have no right to be so upset by this #but I’m just trawling his ig bc he looks the same #he looks the exact same and he hung himself. he was twenty #and ofc he’s connected to my family bc everyone is in that fucking town hes like a v distant cousin #so we know the news first like so many of his friends are out having a nice night rn #and I’m here with this knowledge despite not knowing him. like tomorrow someone is going to find out their best mate killed himself #the police are literally still at his house and my mum is telling me she loves me because it’s ALWAYS the boys in my year group #like off the top of my head alone bc i KNOW it’s more ive already lost six boys in my year and I’m 20 #how many kids have to die before my hometown stops being such a shithole #sorry for the vent post i dont even know why this has gutted me so much #maybe bc the only memory i have of this boy is between the ages of 5-11 so I literally ONLY know him as a child #like he was so happy I can only remember him smiling and just. what went so wrong after that? he had spiky hair and gap teeth #and now I’ve been told that he hung himself and I just #god. i don’t even know anymore #I’ll never forgive that town #hella goes home

[lottieratworld]

.

#someone i considered a friend despite not interacting that much unfollowed and now i feel weird #idk how to feel abt it #like most of our interactions were like. through a closer friends discord anyway #but idk i thought they were nice and i did want to chat more.... #dunno if i did something wrong or if they just didnt like my vibe or something idk #am i dumb and was wildly misinterpreting the relationship as a friendship when we were just acquaintances? #im autistic and dumb sorry #thinking abt it i dont think anybody in that server particularly likes me that much nobody rly responds to me like they do everyone else #and theres only like. under 10 people total in the server #anyway im gonna unfollow too bc i worry i might have made them uncomfortable or something #if u see this sorry :(

[milf-harrington]

the way parents will fuck you up in the most random ways

#me feeling disproportionally guilty about asking my cousin for a ride in and out of town when its literally never been a problem for her #bc my mum has always treated it like such a hassle when i need a ride somewhere #and i was getting better about blocking that out everyone else is happy to help me out #and my uncle says shit like 'anything for family' when i thank him for doing it #but then my aunty drove me into town last week and i was telling mum about it #and mum said shed have to buy my aunty flowers or something which just like #instantly made me feel like a burden and that my mum thinks someone needs to be rewarded for doing something nice for me #and now im back to 'hey sorry to ask-' 'its okay if you cant-' and it sucks so much #captain speaks

[doctapuella]

i painted bruce and his pants

#all i can see are the flaws but that's my eyeballs' problem #bold colors. contrast. clear lines. clothes-related pattern. checking off all my favorite things to paint #this is on the back of another thing and so there was a lot of smudging around the edges which is why i covered them in white paper #SHUT UP RACHEL YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR THINGS #anyway hi its bruce #its just a silhouette bc i still cant draw people #but i did use a specific pic of him as reference so i still drew then painted him #the torso is all lumpy bc he had his leg up andbc the angle #which you cant tell with just a shadow but it makes sense as the actual pic #oh my god somebody stop me from talking i'm so sorry #i'm gonna put this in myqueue bc i cant bring myself to like click the post button #again! nobody feel like you have to interact with this! #i'm deeply embarrassed! i want to put it on here but i also dont want attention but i also want positive attention only #but i also will assume everyone is lying to me just to be nice #so like. silence and maybe a lil like if you find it in your heart #leaveme alone to my suffering #i made this #queue've got something about you

[primsycoldbottles]

i feel so bad watching acofaf sometimes bc im NOT the audience for it . i simply do not care for romances like acofafs (except chirps romance . that one gets me hardddd) bc its just. regency isnt my thing idk . but i do appreciate the effort i just dont go nuts like everyone else and i feel bad(?) about that

#peach patter #like SORRY . i feel so guilty watching it and just Not feeling much for the romantic moments #like woohoo awesome <- staring blankly at the screen #LIKE ITS CUTE . ITS NICE. IM GLAD EVERYONE IS GETTING IT OUT THERE IN SUCH MASTERFUL MOMENTS it just doesnt Give me much ykno ? #everyone else seems to be squealing and screaming and running in cirles over hob and rue or andhera and binx and allat #and im just like *standing and staring* #rue and hob its like . i get a little of it bc i rlly like oscar and brennans play off of each other its really magnificent #i personally dont care for . andhera and binx tho ? idk to me theyre kinda just Buddies with Something there but Not Much #in the way everyone should be a little in love with their best friend . thats what andhera and binx are #so its like. their FRIENDSHIP and bonding and forgotten people is so compelling to me but i care soooo little for the romance aspect #idk im just not the audience for regency romance i just wanna watch chirp and squawk be insane and binx be cool ykno #sorry this is SO LONG im just . you know . its 10pm and i had a Long day

[wolvisms]

me when my bf is my only friend 😜

#no i’m actually. i’m really sad lol #it’s so funny bc i HAVE FRIENDS. like i do. but there’s just this indescribable loneliness that actually kills me #it’s exam season right. i had my first exam today. and then after the exam there was a huge group of us just hanging out for a bit #which was nice!!! but like obviously gradually everyone was left. either to go home or to like go study or something. #leaving** not left oops #i had a study date planned w my friends! and one by one they all bailed❤️ #one had to go for work. another felt sick. another went to the library to study alone. and so on. all understandable! #me and one of my best friends were the last ones standing. it was 12pm. she said she was gonna leave at 3. #randomly she decided that she wanted to leave. as soon as the last person left! bear in mind she had another 3 hours till she was meant to— #go back home. RANDOMLY out of nowhere ‘actually… i’m gonna go too’. and that made me rlly rlly sad lmao #… oh. when i tell you i literallt teared up and tried so hard to hold it😭😭😭 #and its not the first time she’s done this!!!! i’ve felt very unwanted with her in the past as well #like we’d plan to hang out. ‘is ____ coming? no?? then i don’t want to go! maybe another time! :)’ … another time never comes #why is it like this with all my friendships😭😭😭😭😭 am i that horrible. am i the problem. my whole life ive just wanted friends #and every time i find them they end up leaving me. i’m scaredddd 🥲🥲 #as soon as she left i ended up crying in public💀 (im just a girl im so unbelievably sensitive don’t laugh) #wnd i called my bf cos he’s literally my only friend😭 and he assured me that im not the problem #and said i’m a good person. and that the worst things happen to the best people #and i always try to tell myself that but i feel like there’s just something wrong with me😭 #but i do believe him! my bf spends the most time w me and knows me better than anyone. i would trust his judgement #but maybe he’s just biased?? MAYBE I UNINTENTIONALLY BRAINWASHED HIM?? but then again. he wouldn’t love me if i wasn’t a good person #idfk. this stuff just hurts tho lol. i just want a proper friend🙁🙁 #i am tearing up writing this. no more. i need to study i have another exam tomorrow 😄 #rant over! sorry irs unbelievably long u don’t need to read it!!! #briar rambles #miigghhhtttt possibly delete later (probably will) when im feeling better and come to my senses :D

[pondscummy]

why are you acting like I'm yelling 😭😭😭

#i'm wondering if my other roommate texted her that i was mad this morning tbh #bc the kitten ran under my bed when i was trying to get downstairs to log onto work and i was like 'pixel you jackass' and growled at him #and my roommate came to the door like in their underwear w the laser pointer to lure him out and said absolutely nothing to me and then #slammed their door and i was like ??? bc i didn't fucking ask fhejdbdk #i wasn't even mad at him i was just exasperated. so i was like maybe it was the growling??? which is an old habit bc everyone in my house #growing up did it as like an 'ugh' equivalent. maybe it's a scary sound to other people tho idk fshkddbk i'm desensitized to it if so #it's just a back of the throat noise idk #anyway i'm irritated bc i've been nothing but nice to this girl and she's acting like i'm about to hit her. she's never even seen me in a #mood worse than tired so i'm like where is this coming from??? and only thing i can think is that my roommate who thinks i'm sooo scary for #no reason other than sometimes i am visibly in a bad mood on my way to my own room (i asked them. they told me my mad face is triggering to #them LMFAO like they walk around looking pissed literally all the time 😭 i at least put myself in time out) #anyway only thing i can think is they misinterpreted me having a like. 'are you kidding me' moment as being enraged #the amount of walking on eggshells i feel like i have to do here is SOOOOO. like i'm sorry but we Live together i'm not going to be sunshine #and rainbows 24/7/365 why is it a HUGE deal if sometimes i'm briefly annoyed or if i go to my room when i'm mad #esp considering it's always about something unrelated to people in the house and i can only think of 3 times it's happened in over a year #why is that a big enough thing to like freak out our other roommates??? #pond.txt #whatever they might not have even said anything #i'm just. i'm not DOING anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #and i didn't want them pissy in their underwear in my door this morning without even asking tbh

[be-good-to-bugs]

there is a god and he is cruel

#the bin #sorry sorry im having existential dread and terror. literally i dont think ive ever felt worse then i do over the fact im gonna have to wor #some stupid job so often that contributes nothing and get paid so little and be in pain the whole time and have so little time for fun #inat least wnat something that pays a bit better and feels like im actually doing something #tnis whole go to work and cycle through this same loop of donated items and then watch so many of them get tossed is killing me #my job feels so meaningless because it is. i dont know how to describe why. i think a job at a grocery store doing stocking would feel at #different. this type of production work is just so draining mentally. its not samey enough to just be ignorable. it sucks #i go to work and sort through stuff and then put it on the shelves and then everything gets all messed up and fixed and messed up again #and it repeats and its not the same as if it were boxed. because at least that would feel just like whatever yknow. its this horrible #capitalist system disgused as something small and friendly. ive always felt this way about big chain thrift stores and now that i work at #one that feeling is so much stronger. ' #'you love to thrift so why not work at thrift?' because it will crush your soul #sorry. i would rather like work at a store stocking a regular rotation of things and itd feel like corprate capitalism yattah yattah but #not pretending to be soemthing else. my coworkers are so nice but i hate this job #my managers are fine but theyre pushing more of tnis produce produce produce thing bc they have to and i dislike it a lot #like man i AM doing my best and its fast enough and its not even being said directly to me just everyone but it feels bad like they want #me doing this exact process for a job whee the things change. its not a bunch of same shape packeged blah blah its just an array of objects #a really boring array of objects that are all the same but also not the same enough to be easier #and you want to to act like its all packeged and stuff?? #ugh i hate it. i think this is why i like hanging bags so much cause its a simple sorting pricess and simple to put them up

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。yours, always yours

synopsis. satoru has always been yours—and he needs you to know you’ll also always be his

— word count. 2.4k (read the breakup fic first for better understanding, but can be read as a stand-alone)

— contents. fem! reader, college! au, rich boy! gojo, post-getting back together angst that gets a little heated <3, minors do not interact, fingering, unprotected sex, edging, satoru cumming too quick <3, creampie, tbh the smut is short and a lil rushed my b, it ends in fluff tho !! trust !! there is fluff !!

— notes. tbh this will probably get flagged rly fast but oh well u win some u lose some. anywayyyyy here is the make up sex bc yall nasties deserve it <3 jk love u guys

satoru falls first. and he falls hard. everyone knows it, it’s never been a secret.

“you want me to wash your hair?” you ask gently, kissing his shoulder as the water falls over his head. he hums, nodding absentmindedly as he stares blankly at the tiles of your shower wall.

“sure,” he mumbles, “don’t tug.”

“i never tug,” you roll your eyes, snorting. he huffs a small chuckle, but it’s not the usual laugh satoru gives you. it’s mechanic, almost—just there to fill the space. “baby?” you ask softly.

“yeah?” he asks, “oh, should i bend a little? sorry, i—”

“what’re you thinking about?” your hands cup his cheeks, gentle and warm from the hot water as it soaks his skin.

he shakes his head, trying to smile as he clears throat. “just how nice it is to be pampered. maybe i’ll let you break my heart every once in a while so i get my back scrubbed and hair washed like this.”

“satoru,” you insist. you know—and he knows it too. “tell me?”

“why’d you do it?” he mumbles, “why’d you listen to him?”

“toru, you know why,” you sigh, “you know i didn’t think there were any other options.”

“you could’ve talked to me,” he furrows his brows, “just because my stupid old man threatens you with my stupid inheritance doesn’t mean we have to break up.”

“i was afraid you’d choose me.” it comes out as a whisper, like a confession you can’t bear to admit.

“i would have chosen you,” he agrees, “why’s that bad? how’s that wrong—”

“you’re not thinking about the bigger picture,” you shake your head, “that company is yours. you’ve spent your whole life—”

“so what? was i supposed to give up the rest of my life for it too?” he asks tiredly—satoru’s defeated. he’s never been defeated, it’s the most magnetizing thing about him.

even before you date him. he asks and asks and asks no matter how many times you say no. because there’s always a chance you’ll say yes, and he’ll never stop as long as there’s a chance.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffle, lips wobbling, “i could have….i should have said something. i didn’t want you to make a choice young and then….and then regret it.”

“you think i’d regret you?” he’s wounded—absolutely wounded at the words.

satoru has always been careful, diligent and so, so meticulous to love you right, to love you how you need to be loved. hadn’t that proven enough? that he was in it for the long run—for forever? he’d been so sure you’d be his future, that the break up feels like waking up from a peaceful dream to a house fire—devastating, with smoke in his nose and lungs that he can’t breathe right, and everything gone within a moment before he can even register it.

he stares at the ashes in despair. nothing prepared him for the hollowness of not being yours—because satoru has never cared to make you his. all he’s ever wanted was to be yours.

you’re quick to remove him from everything, deleting pictures from your socials, untagging him from posts, removing him from your private stories and close friends list. he doesn’t understand how you could change your mind so quickly—and then he realizes you probably don’t. because he knows you—better than anyone ever has, satoru knows you.

so he’s comes to you, drenched from the rain, from standing outside your door even as the water pelts against his skin because he’s determined. he’s going to get an answer out of you, going to make you explain why you pulled him in so close, let him reside in your heart and fall asleep to the comforting rhythm of its beating—and then push him out like he’s nothing. what made you push him out?

and finally, when he does, when you let him be yours again and admit it’s never what you wanted, that it’s because it’s what his father wanted—well, satoru can’t keep his composure. don’t you know? hadn’t he always told you? hadn’t he poured his heart out and let you know every moment he’s always been stuck dangling from his father’s fingers? stuck somewhere between the sky and ground, too high to feel the floor under his feet but never high enough to feel the wind in his face.

you’ve always known, always listened—and fuck, you held him some nights too, let your fingers dip into his hair and soothe his sorrows of always being stuck.

satoru’s always been stuck, always had every choice made for him and every instruction carefully laid out on the table. and then you decided to make his choice for him too, walking away and choosing his future for him like he’s never had a say.

he’s always been stuck, but never with you—but now, he wonders if that’s changed.

“no,” you squeeze his cheeks, “no i don’t think you’d regret me….but satoru losing what you have is a big thing,” you mumble, “people work their whole lives not having a fraction of what you do. that’s a lot to let you lose.”

“i’ve never seen my dad kiss my mom,” he stares at you, hard and unwavering, his eyes stare into yours, “he’s never held her hand or made her laugh. and you know what she told me? that she would sell her share of everything to have what we do. why do you always look at me for what i have first?” he asks angrily, the water pouring over his shoulders as they shake, “why can’t you just look at me first for once?”

“i do look at you,” you insist, “toru, all i ever see is you—”

“then stop caring what he says,” he says louder, his voice echoing through the small bathroom of your small apartment.

everything about your home is small—smaller than satoru’s especially. but he loves it, thinks he’d rather be here than anywhere else.

because it’s yours. and as long as you’re here, the world fits into this tiny apartment, the galaxy too.

“okay,” you say shakily. and then you nod, looking him in the eye, “you’ll handle it?”

he nods, kissing between your brows, “yeah, i’ll handle it. who else is gonna take over that company anyway?”

“but what if he finds someone else? and then he—”

“he won’t. my grandpa will shred him.”

“but he’s old, and he stepped down, so what really can he do if your dad decides—”

“god, baby,” he groans, pushing your body against the wall gently, “i love your voice, but you talk so much. i’m wanna listen to something else.”

his lips find your neck, sucking gently at the skin, hand trailing to your tits before his thumb circles your nipple. it’s slow, deliberate, teasing as it rolls over the bud.

you whimper, clutching onto him as a breathy, “t-toru,” leaves your lips.

“yeah,” he nods, “that’s what i wanna listen to instead.” his lips are in a grin against your neck, kissing and biting until he reaches your collarbone. “anyone dm you after you took me out of your socials?” he asks bitterly.

“j-just one,” you admit through a stutter, “b-but i didn’t even open it! i wasn’t really—oh, toru,” you gasp as his finger finds your clit, spreading your legs as he lets out a soft growl at your words.

“what? just cause my face isn’t on your instagram suddenly you’re not mine?” he asks, thumb rubbing harsh circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves—you close your eyes, moaning as your arms wrap tightly around his neck. “you’re always mine,” he murmurs against your ear, low and careful so you hear him well, “yeah? got that?”

“got it,” you nod furiously.

“got what?”

“‘m al-always—oh, fuck,” you mewl as one finger prods at your entrance, gathering your slick before slowly sliding through your walls.

“c’mon, sweetheart,” he says firmly, “finish your sentences.”

“always yours, toru! always yours—please, please j-just…”

“just what?” he raises a brow.

“more,” you sob—it’s a broken plea as your hips thrust against his finger.

he’s quick to slide in a second, thrusting his digits mercilessly into your soaked cunt, his palm gliding over your clit as the slick sound of his fingers fucking you is almost drowned by the water in the back.

your water bill will be high this month. you decide it’s a sacrifice satoru deserves.

“you think someone could ever learn this body better than me? make you cum like i can? you think anyone will ever love you enough to learn you like i do?”

“n-no,” you pant, his fingers hitting that spot inside of you so perfectly, you feel that dull ache build up quickly. it’s good—everything with satoru is good. his other hand finds your chest to pinch a nipple, twisting and squeezing until your nails leave indents on his shoulders as you moan loudly. “no one—no one but you.”

“exactly,” he growls, “how could you leave me? how could you leave us?”

“‘m sorry,” you sniffle, whimpering when the tips of his fingers slam against that spongey spot of your walls, fluttering around him and squeezing him in. you’re close—so close that you almost don’t know what he’s saying anymore, too focused on the way your impending orgasm is approaching. fast. “i’m sorry, i’ll never—ever leave again.”

“say you love me,” he demands.

it sounds like he’s pleading, though, if you listen closely. there’s a small crack in his voice, a slight shakiness that makes you force your eyes open and stare at him and whisper, “i love you, satoru. i love you.”

and then he rips his fingers out—right before you’re about to cum. you gasp, pleading nonsense as you cling to him and buck your hips and search for something, anything to take you over the edge.

and then you hear a sniffle. is he crying? is that wet droplet on your shoulder a tear or the water? you’re too busy calming down from your orgasm dying before it ever came to focus.

satoru’s hard against your thigh, throbbing and painful to sink into you. he strokes himself a few times, whimpers as his thumb gathers the pre cum from the sensitive tip, smearing it along his length as he shakily lets out a quiet moan.

“f-fuck, i gotta feel you. please, can i? please—”

“yes,” you pull him closer, grinding your heat over his hard-on, “yes please, toru. more, need more.”

he’s sliding along your folds, dragging the tip of his cock along your entrance and smearing a mix of your arousal with his. and then slowly, ever so gently, he’s pushing into your after that, pushing past your walls and bullying into your soaked cunt, curving into you perfectly.

it’s only been a week—you feel like you haven’t felt him in years. but it’s familiar. you remember every part of him, including every vein that drags along your walls and makes your head spin. he remembers every part of you, including where that spot is that he needs to angle his hips to find.

he slams into you, hard and rough and fast—doesn’t even let you adjust your position to hold onto him tighter before he’s thrusting his hips and fucking into you desperately. you can feel him, every inch of his skin against you, every part of him that’s touching you. and you can feel the way his cock nudges past your folds, the friction burning pleasure through ever nerve.

satoru knows how to fuck you, just like he knows how to love you, he knows your body—every dip and ever curve, every place to touch and every part that has you gushing around him. it’s just the way he is, too good at giving you what you want, what you need.

when he moans, it’s breathy and he’s panting as he lets out those soft whimpers that make your head spin. “feel that? feel me?” he asks, grunting as you squeeze around his length.

“yeah,” you breathe, “‘m so full.”

“i need you. please, please,” he murmurs, “can’t lose you, baby. never you,” he chants, the quiver in his voice tearing you apart.

“i’m right here,” you gasp, lacing your fingers with his and squeezing his hand. he squeezes back, just to let you know he’s there too, “right here, baby. you got me.”

and then he cums, just as soon as you whisper that—he spills right into you with a broken cry, his hips rolling, needy and desperate and so, so lost on the pleasure. he’s too busy working himself through his high, trembling over your body to care he’s cum too quick—and you don’t have it in you to tease him. you can feel the hot ropes of cum filling you, painting your walls white, fucking deep into you as the blunt head of his cock slams into you without a second of hesitation.

but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t falter that brutal pace as his hips slam into you, perfectly kissing your sweet spot every time. and before long, you break—your head pushes back against the wall behind you, mouth parted as you wail his name and cum—hard. you’re quivering and spasming around his swollen cock, enough that he whimpers at the way you’re so tight.

it’s good, it’s always good. satoru makes you feel good. he’s the best you’ve ever had—the best you’ll ever find.

and then you hear it again, the sniffle into your neck as he clutches you tightly. you know for sure that wet droplet is a tear this time, and your fingers tangle into his hair as you stroke the wet strands.

“i love you, toru,” you murmur, “my sweet boy. i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry.”

“don’t do that again,” he huffs in between tears, “that was so mean. so mean.”

“i said i won’t,” you chuckle, fighting back your own tears, “how long are you gonna hold this against me?”

“how long do you plan on being mine?”

“well,” you pull him from your neck, cupping his cheeks as you wipe away tears and peck his lips softly, “i think….forever.”

“well, get ready, then,” he glares softly, “i’m gonna hold this against you forever too.”

“okay,” you nod, “that’s fair.”

“and i love you too,” he adds, “but block whoever dm’d you. it better not be that zenin boy.”

“block those girls who’s pictures you liked,” you shoot back, glaring at him with a pout of your own.

“don’t yell at me,” he mumbles, leaning into your touch as your thumb strokes his cheek, “i’ve had a rough week. you have to be nice.”

dabitee anon. are u seeing this. did u see the satoru who cums too fast. did u see it. report back if u saw this. i repeat, dabitee anon report back if you see this

#teepods.writings #thirstee! #rich boy! au #fics. #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo smut #gojo angst #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

[hwaflms]

round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]

{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/

[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc

[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me

[☆] wc. 6.1k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut’, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh

[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p

even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.

today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.

you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)

now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.

presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.

“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”

you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.

swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”

“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.

you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.

“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.

“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.

“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”

he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.

out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.

as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.

sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.

“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.

“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.

“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.

“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”

some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.

“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.

“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.

“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”

haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.

“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.

your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?

it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.

maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.

you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.

“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.

much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.

renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.

taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.

while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.

you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.

“are you okay with this?”

and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.

he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.

jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”

renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.

the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.

you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.

haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.

“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.

settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.

you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.

“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”

it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.

“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.

if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.

at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.

you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–

no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?

you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.

finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”

“who are you talking to?”

you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you’ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.

“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.

“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”

he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”

you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.

“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”

“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”

“…what?”

everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.

“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.

“like you want to kiss me.”

a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.

“am i wrong, pretty?”

judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”

normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.

he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.

you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.

no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.

“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”

you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.

you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”

your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.

“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”

everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.

though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”

even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.

“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.

“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”

his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”

you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.

you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.

he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”

your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.

in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.

“wait hyuck, let me–“

as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“

it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”

your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”

taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.

the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”

“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”

“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.

#nct #haechan #kflixnet #haechan smut #haechan x reader #haechan scenarios #haechan au #haechan imagines #haechan angst #haechan oneshot #haechan drabbles #haechan fluff #haechan fic #haechan headcanons #nct fluff #nct 127 #nct fic #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #nct smut #nct x reader #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream smut #nct dream fluff #donghyuck smut #donghyuck x reader #stoner!nct

[what-if-i-dee-eye-do]

23: *having a rough time with TBK's emotional bleedthrough*

23: what if I just

23: *dissociates into the mcr concert we went to*

Liz, who struggles with fronting alone/without help and Did Not Ask:

#liz speaking #other #for later me #negative #jesus dude fuckin rude #like. I thought we were working together rn but ok go off and have fun I guess? #fucker barely even let me see the concert as it was happening bc they were obsessed with 'recording it' for everyone else smh #like no baby you focusing on being fully present is how you get us to LEAVE not SEE WHAT U SEE #wait am I (Liz) getting a better handle on the system bc that was weirdly uh. fact-like? idk #also easier on future me if I just put the post itself into third person most times and talk As Whoever in the tags if that makes sense #also oh my god I think 23 can use the experience of the concert to have mcr 'perform' songs in the head that they didn't perform at that #concert like they very much did not play kill all your friends but I just got a pretty clear snapshot of them doing that so that's #uh. something #on the bright side I literally Cannot feel tbk's sadness anymore so that's nice at least. sorry if ur still strugglin in there boyo