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thegreencooler · 11 months

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Amends

I don't usually dip my toe in the drama pool. At least not too deeply. But what's going on in fandom this week, the revelations, were extreme. The people who have come forward... they were in a cult. I am not being overdramatic about this. Gamifying harassment, forcing disconnections like Scientology, needing everyone to observe the same talking points or risk ostracism, leadership using it for money, criminal behavior towards those The Guru has deemed the Out-Group including members who don't conform heavily enough... That's a cult. The internet has made cult behavior REALLY easy. Likes and engagement make you suddenly aware of which direction your circle is leaning. If you agree, YOU TOO GET POINTS. You too will experience that sense of belonging, and that's what it's all about. So if your circle is being outright mean... if you don't want to be cast off as "not one of them"... maybe you say the mean thing too, even if it's a lie, even if you're not really sure why you're saying it. That approval feels SUPER GOOD and is addictive. And your circle amps each other up, gets meaner and meaner. The only people who stay in the in-group are those who don't speak up about the bad behavior and are willing to keep going along with it. Those aren't friendships. It's a pack of hungry carnivores. It's the same behaviors police gangs use on cops who speak up. I do have some sympathy, especially for the younger people who were still forming their identities. They were victims of indoctrination and criminal harassment. That said, they have to own their own behavior. I hope they learn and grow. They're going to have to have some self-reflection on what they've done, the lies told, the hate, the virulent -isms that were expressed, and literal crimes that were performed in the name of fitting in and winning some points with the clique. They're also going to have to reassess who their out-group is, why they even NEED an out-group over fandom things, and if there are still people in their schema who they have an impulse to hate for no reason.... because of a ship or actor preference. They're going to have to question all the lies they were told and if they are still holding onto hate based on that. That's hard if they aren't even sure what the lies were. It's going to be a process for them. We should give people the space and grace to get better. To deprogram themselves. But this does not mean there needs to be automatic forgiveness. Nobody needs to like anyone. But nobody needs to hate anyone either. Maybe the middle ground is we can grow some indifference or the ability to say, "I'm letting it go, this person is in progress, I can't control their journey, the ball is in their court."

If you were behaving badly, you've earned the suspicion of the people you hurt. A few of you are expressing amends, which is wonderful. But part of the thing with making amends is that you don't get to control the outcome. You make a genuine apology for EXACTLY what you've done, you own your part in it, and you don't make excuses... and from there, people may accept what you've said and they may not. They may forgive you immediately, they may take time, they may never forgive you. You have to learn to be good with that. It can be uncomfortable, to feel disliked, ESPECIALLY if the reason you got into the cult was because of that sense of belonging. Your impulse may be to keep giving explanations of how the group influenced you, to distance yourself. You may tell yourself, "I'm not that person, this isn't really me, it was the group." You want to be seen as CHANGED - virginal and new because you made the hard choice to finally leave the cult. ...It isn't that easy. You want the space and grace and you should get that. But guess what? You need to give that to others, too. You need to understand that people have real reasons to distrust you if you were exhibiting cruelty. And part of doing the work to make amends is the actual work. If you're serious about it, it means a lot of difficult self-reflection. You need to take an unflinching look at WHY you could ignore or participate in racism and lord knows plenty of other -isms, why outright defamation and death threats to actors and other fans were okay, why doxing people and trying to get them fired was seen as fair game, why trying to make someone feel hated and terrible about themselves was your impulse, why you were giggling and congratulating yourself for leaning into your worst impulses...until the group turned on you. Because that's the truth of the situation. You now have that self-knowledge of what you're willing to participate in. The question now is what are you going to do with that? I hope it includes therapy and I don't mean that glibly. I think it's possible there are some internet addictions going on where people crave the rush of getting Likes and engagement... and ragefarming is the best way to get engagement. If that's true... it will be EXTREMELY easy to move from the space of performing FOR the cult to performing AGAINST them, so that you can maintain your hit of Likes. And that is just sitting in the same behaviors. But if you're serious about getting better, if you're serious about being honest with yourself, you're going to need to fight against those inclinations. Please ask yourselves if you truly feel your apologies and want to change...or if maybe some part of you is just posting your attempt at amends because you want to fit in with those leaving or because you're craving that approval. Leaving is great! But are you getting the same psychological hit from your posts now? Are you trying to collect a new group that will lovebomb you because you're seeking self-esteem and miss the people who used to give it to you? I'm not saying this in judgment, I'm saying it because many people go from one cult or MLM to another, seeking that same sense of belonging. That's not my wish for you.

To the people on the other side of this... I'm not saying not to speak up if you see people slipping or people whose apologies are revealed as false words. I'm not trying to tone police people getting angry. There have been real reasons to be angry. HOWEVER... please be aware that if we want people to actually learn and grow we need to give them room to do that. There's nothing wrong with a really direct "This is really shitty and unkind behavior." Going scorched earth every time isn't the way. Is it our responsibility to motivate them to change, is it on us? Absolutely not. But are our actions going to unintentionally make them more likely to try and find a gang again because they're feeling defensive? If we also truly want to make things better, we have to ask ourselves what our goal is. Do we just want to give a tongue-lashing because we're angry? We might. And that can be justified sometimes in life. But cornered people don't often make great decisions. If what we want out of this is for people to be less terrible - there are ways to call people in and out, firmly and not sugarcoated, while still not going on the attack.

To the people who finally spoke up, you should be proud of yourselves for that. You took the first step. I hope you keep walking forward.

If you actually read to here... holy crap, I apologize. Many, many words, but I wanted to put them all down somewhere instead of continuing to overthink it at 3:30am. I do want to say... this is just my perspective. If it came off as trying to tell you how to do or feel, or like I think I'm perfect? Nah, kids. I'm a fallible screw-up, too, who is often "cringe," as the children say. We can all work on ourselves. At least that's the hope. If we're open to it.

Anyway. Love y'all, TGC

#supernatural #destiel #cult #spnfamily

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unicyclehippo · 2 years

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You’ve been nailing it with these last drabbles! If you’re looking for prompts, taste?

'this is the tree?'

orym looks grave. appropriate. or not, seeing as laudna never got one.

the tempest rests her hand against gnarled bark. smiling, she says, 'this is the sun tree. the sign of whitestone and a very old friend. and-'

'- where she was hanged,' imogen interrupts.

orym, at her knee, sends her a look of... it's not reproach. it's gentler than that. disapproval, maybe.

the tempest blinks. beneath her antlers—imogen can't tell if they're growing out of her head or whether it's a headress—her calm expression twists. still calm but weightier, lined with grief, memory.

'it was a different whitestone. the same tree, but,' her fingers stroke gently along the ridged bark. 'you wouldn't recognise it if you had seen it then. it was dying, like everything else here.'

imogen, too close and too frayed to close her mind, is surprised—angry—to catch sorrow in her thoughts. for the tree. laudna had been hanged - had actually died back then but her sorrow is for the tree?

the tempest continues. 'i am sorry for not warning you. my ability requires a certain type of tree - size, mostly, but age and power doesn't hurt - and this is... well. in closest proximity. we are in a hurry, aren't we?'

imogen wants to tell her that this has nothing to do with her. she bites her tongue instead, hard, and recasts a spell to calm her mind.

green eyes catch the subtle motion of her hand and they sharpen, wary, before recognition blooms. she looks like she wants to say something. imogen sets her chin stubbornly; the tempest looks away first.

'from what i understand, you need help bringing a friend back.' she looks sidelong. out of the corner of her eye, imogen sees a bundle of yellow. 'i've sent ahead to my friend - a cleric - who can help with this sort of thing.'

'they've done it before?' FCG asks.

'she has.'

'and she'll help? she's - willing?' orym adds. 'we asked - we asked a lot of people and they all said this kind of thing is a miracle and protected. but you've done it before, for me, tempest -'

'she'll help, if she can,' the tempest says, and then smiles. 'hello, orym.'

orym returns the smile like the moon reflecting the sun. he stands taller, as though a weight has been lifted, and the corners of his eyes crinkle. a little colour returns to his face, wan and drawn as it has been.

'tempest.' he bows low—tries to, at least, but she catches him. curls her fingers around his shoulder and holds him tall.

'you're not my guard anymore, orym—you don't need to bow.'

'you didn't let me bow then, either. if i remember right, you said you'd lose me under everyone.'

the tempest's cheeks flame red.

imogen doesn't like it. it's too - it's too normal a thing for someone who is going to help them perform a miracle.

'that wasn't- you - i did when you were a guard,' she says, nearly splutters. 'that was when you were ten. and it was a legitimate concern back then,' she says with a little laugh, holding her hand down around her knee, and it makes orym smile broaden into a grin, a cheeky expression, light-hearted. rare for him, usually so solemn.

a fire burns in imogen's belly. all week she's been feeding it—fear and anger and guilt and guilt and guilt—and it has kept it all at bay, kept her going when she wanted to curl up in the dark and. stop. but not, they're talking—orym, her friend, laudna's friend and this - this miracle woman, his perfect hero leader - and they're talking and laughing like they haven't a care in the world, like the world isn't fucking broken. the fire flares, crackles in her belly, her chest, her hands.

'this reminiscin' is real swell,' imogen says, tone scorched dry. cracking. 'real fun. but i'd like to do something. now, if that's alright with you. or do we have to wait for everyone to hug and introduce themselves first?'

'imogen—'

'don't. don't try and calm me down because i am already calm, orym. laudna is—' imogen swallows. that word - that awful word - tastes like ash and embers, burns all the way down. 'we have to do something.'

'we are. she brought us here, where laudna's going to have the best chance—' he stops when his tempest touches his shoulder again.

'i should have explained,' the tempest says, and imogen can tell from her intent that it is part apology and part anchor point, weighted steadiness. it might even have been calming, as intended, if not for the fact that it was way too fucking little, way too fucking late. 'my friend isn't in whitestone.' she forestalls six exclamations with a raised hand. 'as soon as she sends back to me that she is ready, i will bring her through.' she pats the tree again.

'how long-'

'once i hear from her, she will arrive as quickly as we did. just a few seconds. after that...' the tempest shakes her head. the gesture dislodges a flower nestled in her antlers; it falls from its perch and drifts to the ground, disappears behind one enormous root of the tree. 'i would only be guessing.'

from where he is perched on a massive knot of roots, chetney says, 'guess, then. you're the awesomely insanely powerful one here, aren't you?'

orym tenses at his tone but the tempest doesn't even blink.

'this afternoon or tomorrow, if all goes well.'

'this afternoon?'

'if all goes well,' the tempest emphasizes.

imogen nods jerkily. 'this afternoon,' she says again under her breath, squeezes her eyes tight. 'this afternoon. this afternoon.' nerves chew at the tight leash she keeps lashed around her control; when it frays—again—imogen twists her hands at her side, lets her power grip her emotions in a tight fist and lock them down. 'this afternoon.'

for a moment, everyone stands still and silent. no one wants to speak; no one wants to break the moment, delicate as spun glass. they hold it, hold their breath, and let themselves think - hope - that by the time sets their little family will be complete once more.

imogen feeds her brimming hope into the fire before it can break her spell.

they wait. five minutes. ten minutes. imogen has to step away—her eyes keep returning to the tempest, lingering, searching for any sign of doubt, any sign of disappointment that might come from the other end of her sending—but moving away doesn't help at all because the sun tree looms over them and imogen keeps searching the branches like there will be a - a plaque or something, some sign that this is where it happened. she rubs at her eye, jabs her thumb into the painful spot beneath her brow and presses hard in a vain hope that it'll help ease the mounting pressure.

ashton shoulders up beside imogen; he's light on his feet and she doesn't notice until he says,

'hey.'

'hey, ash.' imogen's eyes dart over to them. 'you alright?'

they snort. 'stole my question.' imogen stares at them, wills herself to say yes, say something. ashton nods. 'yeah. me neither.'

'does your head hurt after last night?' he just looks at her and she qualifies, 'does it hurt any worse than normal?'

'nah.'

'good. good.' imogen rubs at her eye. drops her hand to her side and strokes a finger over pate's beak.

'can i ask you something?'

imogen tilts her head. it's not a nod, because she can't muster one, but close enough.

'what did you mean? about the tree?'

pain flares behind her eyes. imogen squeezes her eyes shut, hisses.

'fuck. shit - are you okay?'

she doesn't answer. 'laudna died. ages ago, decades ago. this is where it happened.'

'fuck.'

'like. this tree.'

'fuck.'

imogen laughs, just a little huff of air out her nose. 'yeah. that about sums it up.' she looks at the tree. looks at the tempest—still waiting. 'she was there.'

'the tempest?'

'mhm.'

ashton pauses to think about it. then says, heartfelt, 'fuck.'

they have been waiting close to an hour when the tempest stands to her feet and tilts her head, eyes going glassy in that way imogen often sees when she is speaking into someone's mind. then, she smiles.

'she's ready. stand back, please. watch your feet mister pock-o-pea.'

'better move, chet, or imogen'll shove you,' fearne teases, and the gnome grumbles but scrambles away from the trunk, down and over the roots until he's standing with the rest of them.

the tempest lifts her staff, touches the gnarled top of it to the trunk; again, they all watch as the bark shifts, wood grain buckling and bowing, and it creaks and groans and splits, green light spilling from the oval gateway.

in a matter of seconds, a small figure—blonde, gnomish, armoured—steps through the gate, which buckles at the edges before it slams shut behind them with a hideous groan of wood, like trees contorting in a fierce wind, moments from breaking. imogen doesn't remember that happening when they came through; she cuts a look over at the tempest and finds her leaning hard on her staff, face grey with exhaustion.

'keyleth. you look awful.'

the tempest laughs. immediately stoops to collect the hug offered to her. 'yeah, well, you treestride three times in a day and tell me how you feel after.'

'three times?'

'it was necessary.'

'we've talked about over-exerting yourself-'

'pike,' the tempest interrupts, gently. 'i'm alright. but our guests are not.'

at that, the newcomer—pike—finally looks around herself. she takes them all in and their keen, knowing look in her eyes that is somehow understanding instead of judgemental, assessing.

'oh dear. that's a lot of unhappy faces,' she says, voice sweet. 'hi there, i'm pike. i'm the head cleric of sarenrae, the everlight, here in whitestone. what's going on?'

with a look to imogen, and a gentle smile when the words stick in her throat, unmoving, orym says, tone reverent, 'blessed of the everlight, we have - a problem.'

'a lot of problems,' ashton adds.

chetney grunts, shoots a stern look across the party. 'but one immediate problem, right?'

'right. kind of a - a big problem, and it's - ashton, do you have her?' fearne asks softly.

pike frowns, looking between them all as they talk but don't say anything. then her eyes are on imogen and imogen can't breathe because the cleric is as reassuring as she is powerful—it hangs around her like a heat haze, her power, and it's terrifying because imogen has spent the last week in exhaustion, casting and recasting on herself to stay calm and the very moment this - this cleric, this healer turns up, her calm is gone and she feels—everything. everything. her power wraps around imogen like a warm hug and it's awful because peace ought to be cold, a cold hug, a cold hand on her cheek, a cold kiss against her forehead, and her calm shatters.

imogen cries out, lurches back with hand raised as if to ward off an attack. a shield, weak, fizzles around her even, instinctual.

'imogen?' ashton sounds startled but his hand is already on his hammer, resigned to the fact that this cleric, their best hope, is attacking them.

'it's fine,' she gasps, 'i'm fine, i'm fine.'

pike is still staring but imogen ignores her, fights against the invasive press of eyes on her to recast her calm. it holds but barely, and it makes her stomach lurch when she realises what it feels like. a sheet of glass dividing her mind. her eyes flicker to ashton, unwillingly, but she doesn't stop the spell. she drags in a breath, fortifies herself. then meets pike's eyes.

'our friend is gone. she - we need her back. i - we need her back. i'll do anything. money, a - a favour, anything.'

the cleric nods but doesn't linger long on her vehemence. 'when you say gone,'

'she's dead,' FCG tells her. imogen closes her eyes. 'we couldn't - i revived fearne,'

'and i revived orym,' fearne says, taking his hand. 'but i couldn't - we could only bring one person back.'

the cleric nods again. 'that sounds terrible.' the words are trite but there's so much warmth and understanding again that a part of imogen softens, relents.

it was terrible. it is terrible. and it still hurts, still feels like the world is breaking, broken, but this powerful cleric sees their hurt and somehow it helps, a little. it's a relief. after so many no's, the fact that she hasn't said no is—it's a relief.

'well. i can't do anything here,' pike says, and claps her hands sharply. 'the chapel is prepared for this sort of thing—'

'pike, wait - hold on.' the tempest kneels, whispers in her ear.

'oh.'

'what? what is it?' imogen demands.

pike gestures to ashton and his bundle. 'may i look at her?'

'why?'

the cleric raises her hands in surrender, peace. she steps forward; imogen wavers, not wanting to be caught in the balm of her presence again but unable to abandon lauda. again. she locks her knees in place and stays, breathes out shakily as she is enveloped in that gentle heat.

ashton lays laudna down, cradles her shoulders in one arm and unwraps the cloth with their other hand.

pike stares down at her. 'i see it,' she murmurs, looks across at keyleth with a nod. 'can you send to—'

'i already did. they'll meet us at the chapel.'

imogen's fingers twist in her handkerchief. 'what are you talkin' about? are you - did you bring us all the way here to tell us you won't help?'

'no. i want to help - i will help,' pike assures her. 'but you need to know, your friend - she's undead.'

'she's not—'

'i'm sorry but she is.'

'she's not,' imogen snarls. 'she's wonderful and vibrant and alive, she's more alive than anyone else in the world.' when the cleric just stares at her sadly, the fire in imogen's belly reaches a point where heat turns to power and she reaches out, her hand and her mind, and connects her mind with pike's. not digging in, not delving, but opening her own instead. opening it, pouring it out—glass shattering, calm shattering—so that pike can see - see laudna as she walks, talks, breathes, eats and sleeps. see laudna laugh, mischievous, as they spook a traveller out of their gold. see laudna cry, from hurt, from fear. see laudna at her side, earnest and sweet and good. the images come fast, two years worth of laudna, of a cool balm against her senses, of kindness unconditional, of trust and everything else that imogen cannot, will not, put into words but which pike can see and sense regardless.

pike lifts her hand. with a pulse of magic, the connection is severed. ended, gently.

'please,' imogen says, voice cracking, and drops to her knees next to laudna. takes her cold hand between both of her own. 'please help us. please.'

#critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #tagging my stories #prompt fill #imodna #imodna my beloveds #i actually was going to write the aftermath of the rez but i didn't get to it lmao #maybe in the next one

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just-a-new-gi-writer · 10 months

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Hi! I saw you were new to tumblr and thought I'd say hello!

My request is for a different type of sagau that isn't very popular, unfortunately (I think) it's basically where the imposter is arrogant, spoiled, and above all else- abusive. Incredibly so. Anyone who gains their favor faces severe abuse in multiple ways (Minus sexual) and are essentially tortured on a daily basis. The servants are all beaten for the tiniest mistakes, and not even the archons can escape such a hell. (They're not borderline masochists in this au either. Idk if it would be accurate to say they aren't yanderes entirely, but they're not to the same extent as other versions of sagau. They can still feel the PTSD effects of abuse and feel terror) And the imposter has been in control for thousands of years now.

Poor Venti has gone completely mute and is almost a shell of his former self because of this as he is an (unfortunate) favorite of the imposters to abuse. Even Zhongli and Ei can't help but feel bad for their old friend and try their best to ease his pain. It doesn't help.

Then, eventually, everyone becomes unable to take the suffering brought upon by the imposter anymore and overthrow them, finally allowing them to rebuild their lands. Until one day, someone with the same face as the imposter is spotted and everyone panics.

Many believe they are the imposter themselves returning to take revenge, so they are terrified and confused when all the MC shows them is kindness. Luckily, MC is also a licensed therapist, so when they realize what happened to everyone, they are able to help them take the steps necessary to heal. (Since they believe MC is the og imposter, they believe they have no choice but to accept them out of fear for what MC might do)

The request is: MC learns all of this the hard way when they innocently ask Venti to perform for them, believing it will help. Unfortunately, it instead sends him into a borderline panic attack and visibly terrified of their every move, reacting as if they are about to hit him while MC is left confused. (They do recognize that Venti is afraid of being hurt though)

Sorry I made it so long, I'm not really good at summarizing and thought I should include details for the specific version of this au. The original had MC still getting hunted down before the imposter was thrown out but I didn't want that so this one has them arriving and getting accepted pretty easily but for the wrong reasons. On a side note what do you think would be a good name for this side au of sagau? I'm planning on sending more requests in the future to you and other writers so I'd like a name to make it easier to describe the au I'm talking about. I can't come up with anything on my own. Don't worry if you can't think of anything though, it's not important.

-🐈‍⬛ anon

Hi. Thank you for putting in the effort to put all this down and thank you for thinking of me, but this kind of prompt and this kind of AU do not work for me at all. I'm not comfortable writing characters broken from abuse like you describe, and I can't conceive of a world where a torturous imposter creates a populace that is willing to overthrow them but scared stiff of the MC. Given my style of writing focuses on verisimilitude and world building, this basically leaves your request and AU dead in the water.

Feel free to send me asks in the future, but I kindly ask that you do not send me anything relating to this AU again.

#ask response

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longlivelevi · 1 month

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This life is performance art

and by extension, this blog is. I am merely serving out the function of my existence and nothing more. I surrender to the whims of the universe and am ready to serve in whatever capacity is needed of me. I hope these are dangerous and full of risk that might lead to death. The closer to death it is, the better. But I know my need for unaliving is balanced by the incredibly annoying pragmatism of people that actually care about me. I told them Edie Sedgwick weighed 90 pounds so why can't I? Obviously a foolish thought that leads to health problems, but foolishness is the root of all excitement and always comes to play in a life of being true to yourself. Because we are all fools. Why act like we aren't?

People never know what to expect out of me which is fair. I never know what to expect out of myself either. All I know is that I can feel the pulse of destiny trying its hardest to touch my spirit. And when it does, I wonder what will happen? I wonder if all the people who have wronged me will receive a righteous revengeance or will I forgive them all. It's like a seesawing thing in my mind. And I am merely a slave to this pendulum. I can feel myself changing on an atomic level. And every nightmare I dream of, every dream that haunts me, every time I wake up with cold sweats losing breath and energy - I wonder what my spirit is going through in the realm of the in-between. I don't even recognize the person I used to be months ago. How can I ever recognize the person I will be when all is said and done?

How can I ever say I am my mother's son when I don't know who that is anymore? How can I ever say I am my father's son when the fear of my father has completely dissipated in my spirit?

Because that's the truth, isn't it? We fear what we don't know, what we don't understand. The true strength of a person does not lie in their skills, how hard they work on themselves, but their spirit. When Alexander would lead from the front, scaling walls and jumping onto the enemy like a raging marauder. Covering his body in endless scars from all types of weapons. Oh, what a thrill. What a true mark of courage. To be willing to die for your destiny. To be willing to do absolutely anything for the people you lead. Now, that's a life worth living. That's something worth dying for. I cannot wait for the day I die. I will await it. And be it a heroic death, or one of small note - the great release will be appreciated.

grace, disperse

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kanmom51 · 3 years

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I am gay and you better believe it matters to me if someone is an LGBTQ couple or just "selling" themselves as a couple as consistently and intentionally as Jikook. Why is it always "selling" and never "expressing" or just "being"? Why isn't everyone in BTS marketed as a gay ship then? Wouldn't that be the logic? Or are Jikook the only ones willing to commit to the concept? Sorry anon but you came off condescending. I am sure you meant well.

If Jikook are indeed a couple, they can't be out in the way that so many people want and frankly seem to feel entitled to. If anyone wants them to be as free and transparent as a straight couple, then join the fight for equality worldwide. Don't just do it for them either. Do it for your fellow humans. I don't understand how people can be such takers when it comes to Jikook. It's nothing but expectations and insecurities. Let these men breathe.

If you've lived as an LGBTQ person in any culture, or even if you just care about LGBTQ people as human beings (not just fantasy 'characters') you should care about authenticity and authorship of LGBTQ people in media. Of course this is a very complicated issue when we are looking at media figures from a country where the number of out celebrities is tragically small because, hello, LGBTQ people are very stigmatized. Without legal protections in place, gay people are under threat. This means queer art is sometimes made without being able to confirm or even address queer identity. People can't confirm your dreams when they are under threat. You can choose to believe, love and support them, or not.

Sometimes we have to understand where people are coming from and decide to either take them on faith or not. If this sounds like too much trust to put into a money making celebrity, I get it. But what choice is there? Jimin and Jungkook don't owe anyone transparency at the price of their careers, health, or physical safety. They show all they can afford to show which is a lot. I personally think it comes from their hearts and souls. They have been shown to act too unambiguously like a couple in too much content for me to not believe the simplest and least cynical reason this might be. They should be allowed to express themselves as artists and human beings and if that includes queerness, go them. If you think they aren't authentic in the way they perform or socialize on camera, fine. But please do not tell that me it could all be exploitative marketing and that that wouldn't be problematic. LGBTQ people have fought for generations just for a chance at being treated like regular human beings. It is sad that two young and brave men are doubted all the time about everything. Straight people don't have to prove their love for one another all the time in daily footage to be not thought of callous marketers play acting an oppressed minority. There are many reasons for a closeted LGBTQ couple to either hide or flaunt their relationship to fans. We aren't in their head and certainty is not an expectation.

Every single word carved in stone anon. Every single word.

#ask #anon

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whack-a-moron · 2 years

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Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD? Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person? Because I’m 100% wholeheartedly curious on if you’re satirical or not, I genuinely can’t tell as an autistic person. My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner. I’m more unempathetic than him, learned empathy is just as good as inherent empathy. Not everyone with NPD is abusive, and calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels. These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help, and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained. It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals, and doesn’t help get your point across. You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are. I hope you at least learn to not throw the r-word around, I’m sure it hurt more than just me who read it. I hope less people tell you to kill yourself, that’s not okay in any situation.

You seem to be coming at me in good faith so I'll answer you in good faith.

"Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD?"

Yes. More than once.

"Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person?"

Also yes. Also more than once. Also very, very close friends to some.

"My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner."

Good for him then (genuine). He would be an exception, not the rule. Regardless, some individuals who NPD who have learned better and worked on themselves exist, they are just - very, very obviously - the statistical minority.

They are also not the idiots swarming my inbox or notifications telling me to kill myself because I said something they don’t like, despite how much they want to preach otherwise and swear from the rooftops they’re “better now”.

The data is extremely clear that most narcissistic people don't change and don't benefit from therapy because they don't want to. Some will claim to change of course or put on a performance that they're changed and things will be better going forward - its something known in psychology as Future Faking. A professional who actually knows what they’re doing and has experience with NPD/narcissistic individuals will know this, and will often catch it, but there are a lot who aren’t qualified and even the ones who are are sometimes fooled.

I'm also going to go out on a limb and assume that your boyfriend was diagnosed at a younger age and got treatment at a younger age (younger than 25, 30 at the latest).

If so, and I'm guessing that's the case, there's a reason for that. A person's psychological functioning is a lot more fluid and adaptive below a certain age, easier to "re-wire" your brain essentially. A person can be diagnosed with a personality disorder and get treatment to where they basically no longer have that disorder or enact its symptoms (or can catch themselves in them) if its caught and treated early enough. It takes time and hard work but its doable - provided the person in question wants the treatment. People who are older? Like 30+? Well, good luck. Its not impossible but its far harder and more unlikely because of how brain pathing works on a physical level.

Also something that is less discussed is that there are some disorders that mimic NPD/narcissism but aren't.

C-PTSD (Complex PTSD) is one of those disorders that can look like narcissism/NPD but actually isn't, and the difference is really, really hard to spot for a lot of people. There are more people than you'd think who are misdiagnosed as "narcissistic" who actually have C-PTSD because the disorder is still ill understood and undergoing study as a relatively new "category" of mental health.

I'm not anyone's doctor so I can't say for sure either way, but I'm willing to bet that at least more than a few of the people going around claiming to have NPD from trauma but "don't fit the stigma" are being improperly diagnosed (if they were even diagnosed by a doctor at all lol There are a LOOOOOT of people who want to self-diagnose on this site to be "quirky") and actually have C-PTSD.

"Not everyone with NPD is abusive"

A lot of them are. Hence why exploitation/harm of other people is literally in the diagnostic criteria.

"calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels."

And there are several reasons for that.

The most obvious being that NPD, as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder/psychopathy, are the only disorders specifically characterized as "having no or little respect towards other people or remorse for hurting them".

Narcissistic personalities have a blown up perception of themselves and an excessive desire for attention and admiration. Individuals with this disorder have a false sense of entitlement and little respect for other people's feelings. They are oversensitive to criticism and often blame others for their failures. Prone to outbursts of anger and irritability, the narcissistic personality tends to be manipulative in interspersonal relationships.

Individuals with antisocial/psychopathic personality disorder are known to be manipulative, irresponsible, and have a history of legal difficulties. They show little respect for the rights of others and feel no remorse for their actions. They also leave a trail of unfulfilled promises and broken hearts.

When people pull the “You don’t call it ADHD abuse!” or “You don’t call it OCD abuse!”, that is an absolutely retarded argument because “exploiting and abusing other people without remorse” isn’t literally in the required diagnostic material for having those disorders in the first place.

Its also because of how language works, which is a discussion I’ve already had on this blog. “Alcohol abuse” for instance implies and is understood that a person is consuming too much alcohol. “ADHD abuse” doesn’t work because of what I’ve already said but because with how language works it would imply the person with ADHD is being abused, not that they are the abuser. Its clunky and unclear.

Its a simple matter that “narcissistic abuse” complies with English structure without needing to be clarified into “abuse by a narcissistic person” or “abuse by a person with narcissism” to be understood.

“These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help,”

False, actually.

Not all narcissists were abused and treated horribly. Not all narcissists or types of narcissism are the same, and they don’t behave/present the same. There are types of narcissism that develop in normal settings, without abuse or trauma present. These just usually tend to be the low-grade types of narcissists who are more annoying rather than the big scary ones who do things like beat the shit out of you or kill your dog.

It also assumes that everyone who is abused will develop a personality disorder, when that’s clearly not the case. Its like when people go around claiming someone is only a criminal because they’re poor, despite the vast majority of poor people aren’t criminals and don’t commit crimes. There is a biological component at play.

I don’t disagree they need help. But again, the data is pretty damn clear most won’t seek it and most who do won’t benefit from it because they’re put into therapy by a 3rd party because of the damage they’ve done to other people (be it family, friends, court order, etc) rather than by their own willingness to want to change.

Self-awareness also isn’t always a good thing with narcissists, because more often than not it implies they know their actions hurt and they just don’t care, which is the common theme.

“and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained.”

Cool. Explain away. I’m still not going to stop calling people out for abuse.

If you’re an asshole, you deserve to be called an asshole.

“It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals”

Lol. Except I don’t. I just use it for screechy internet idiots who could have actively chosen any other path in life such as using the block button or ignoring opinions they don’t like but instead decided the sane, logical, and well-adjusted response is to tell people they don’t agree with to die.

I’ve known lots of neurodivergent friends. They all know better. All of them are quite frankly blatantly insulted by the “but I’m neurodivergent!” excuse instead of owning their harmful behavior.

“I’m neurodivergent!” isn’t an excuse to be an intolerable cunt and at that point you’re a retard by choice and I’ll call you as such. Retard isn’t a thing you’re born with in my corner of the world, its a thing you actively choose to be because you can’t be bothered with self-accountability. Ironically, that’s a pretty prominent narcissistic trait.

“You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are.“

Nah, I just have opinions some people hate and I match energy for energy because why not.

Come at me as a screechy internet asshole, I have no reason to be polite to you. Abusive dickheads don’t deserve respect.

#narcissism #narcissistic abuse #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #antisocial personality disorder

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP meme from Tori Amos quotes

- Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.

- I think that people who can't believe in fairies aren't worth knowing.

- I know I'm an acquired taste - I'm anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things.

- Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.

- I have so many different personalities in me and I still feel lonely.

- The violence between women is unbelievable.

- I'm too wacky for most weirdos. Who am I to judge?

- If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.

- If you really want a challenge, just deal with yourself.

- I don't see myself as weird, I just see myself as honest.

- I see the dream and I see the nightmare, and I believe you can't have the dream without the nightmare.

- Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much.

- Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.

- On some of my darkest days, Lucifer's the one who comes and gives me an ice cream.

- Most people would rather be sheep than stand on their own with antlers on.

- The sense of loss is such a tricky one, because we always feel like our worth is tied up into stuff that we have, not that our worth can grow with things we are willing to lose.

- When you've got the virgin and the whore sitting next to each other, they're likely to judge each other harshly.

- I think you have to know who you are.

- Get to know the monster that lives in your soul.

- Dive deep into your soul and explore it.

- I don’t want to renounce my dark side.

- The truth has always held an enormous interest for me.

- Healing for me is being able to sit next to the butcher and say 'Yes, I’m sitting next to the butcher now,' instead of saying 'there is no butcher'.

- This is very simple in the world of chicks; some are hoochies, some are not, and some should never try to be.

- We don't often see our own stories. Good artists are the ones that whisper our own stories back to us.

- Music is about all of your senses, not just hearing.

- Again, we go back to the power of words and how they can make you feel. They bring liberation or stagnation, they're chains.

- You don't have to apologize for growing and learning and changing your mind.

- Music has an alchemical quality.

- Certain relationships can just wear you down.

- Containment of your opinion is a must if you are going to nurture an artist's development.

- It's a good thing I'm curious, because sometimes I just research how a soccer player kicks a ball and the impact it has on his foot. I haven't used this yet, but I might.

- But over the years you can cultivate hate for the art you love.

- I don’t believe anyone’s story is boring. Every story has value because it belongs only to you.

- Sometimes I fantasize backstage about how people do their laundry. Woolite? Mixed-color loads? Do they fold? Do they press? Do they Shout it out? And the thing that kills me—do their whites come out dingy?

- Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change.

- We like our pain. And we’re packaging it, and we’re selling it.

- Festivals or radio shows can be the heavyweight championships of arrogantly detached clusterfucks.

- People who are addicted to power can live on the same street or attend the same school as us or even play on the world stage.

- None of us are this light and dark fantasy. What's dark to you may be light to me and vice versa.

- I don't think that many performers necessarily want to see their audience empowered. I think a lot of performers, no different from priests, need the hierarchy.

- Modern, celebrity-driven entertainment turns the stage into an altar, and so many celebrities refuse to be removed from those altars once they manage to ascend.

- All storytellers, all troubadours worth their salt knew their myths.

- The Sídh's historical myth is the source of the bastardized concept of a fairy—as if anyone gives a rat's ass.

- The problem with Christianity is, they think everything is about outside forces, good and evil. There's not a lot of inner work encouraged.

- Over the last few hours I've allowed myself to feel defeated, and just like she said if you allow yourself to feel the way you really feel, maybe you won't be afraid of that feeling anymore.

- I'm the queen of the nerds.

- Don't give up. Don't listen to these foolish critics that are so small minded they don't get it tonight.

- Sometimes listening to music can motivate you.

- I think even in a good marriage, especially if you stay together long enough, there are going to be events that happen.

- An ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila.

- Music is always a reflection of what's going on in the hearts and minds of the culture.

- Many people lock a part of themselves away. It's a bit sacred.

- I've always seen the songs as having a consciousness.

- Our world is a huge mess right now, and not big enough for masses of intolerant people.

- We are all fairies living underneath a leaf of a lily pad.

- That is some funky-fresh, pop lockin' shit.

- If I saw someone destroy a piano I'd fuckin' kill 'em. Wouldn't think twice.

- I experiment with things that are usually an internal experience, because that's just what excites me. And yes, it does sometimes give me visions.

- Some of those trips were eighteen hours long and I'll never forget, once I ended up sitting by the bush trying to ask the flowers why they didn't like me. It's like, Why can't I be your friend?

- You might not like my story because I'm not gonna tell you how it ends yet, and you need to travel it with me.

- I just imagined a huge juicy vagina coming out of the sky, raining blood over all those racist, misogynist fuckers.

- You can't control your popularity

- If you can't create physical life, you find a life force. If that's in music, that's in music.

- I started to find this deep, primitive rhythm, and I started to move to it.

-I held hands with sorrow, and I danced with her, and we giggled a bit

- I usually get myself into situations that cause sparks.

- I love feeling alive, I love walking out in the cold in my bare feet and feeling the ice on my toes.

- For the most part, pianos are female to me.

- Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it.

- In our minds, love and lust are really separated.

- I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs

- When you stop putting yourself on the line, and you don't touch your own heart, how do you expect to touch other people?

- Guys would sleep with a bicycle if it had the right color lip gloss on. They have no shame. They're like bull elks in a field.

- Your worst enemies are made when you ignore people.

- It's as if the horses have come to take us back, to descend, to find the dark side. By dark I mean what's hidden, not necessarily satanic.

- There's room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. If you're trying to be like somebody else, then there is isn't.

- Sometimes you have to do what you don't like to get to where you want to be.

- You know that saying, bad things don't happen to good people? That's a lie.

- I'm not a habit, I'm a lifestyle.

- There are a lot of hidden nerds.

- People who become the front runners often used to be outcasts or loners.

- Um, don't get me wrong because I love boys, it's just that sometimes we don't need you.

- There are only ten ideas under the sun. What makes the difference is how you spice them.

- So I'm in Virginia, and I had crabs--I keep saying that! I had crab sickness, I had eaten bad crabs in Maryland!

- I'm a winter girl; I like coming out when things are desolate and everybody's ready to slit their wrists.

- You can only be you. A lot of times it's never enough for people.

- I've never played the guitar, except throwing it against the wall cause it was pissed off I couldn't play it.

- Truly, I was a sweetheart when I was little, like the Honeysuckle Faery. Sweet-pea. But sweet-peas are not popular after second grade. Sweet-peas become nerds really fast.

- I really enjoy having a giggle with a friend, but then someone crosses my line, then I don't really take it lightly.

- I sometimes forget I'm not 7'2" and a Viking.

- A boundary was crossed. And maybe I drew a boundary, consciously.

- It was a bit violent, a bit sexual.

- When nothing makes sense, music seems to come and bring me a margarita and sit down with me.

- You don't have to justify everything. Being pissed off is just absolutely okay.

- There is a level of the vampire in me, which is OK.

- It hurts me when a woman doesn't come through for me, more than a man.

- I'm a grown woman. I've earned my experiences, my scars.

- What is an angel but a ghost in drag?

- I'm beginning to accept and love the parts of me, of women that I was trained to hate all my life.

- People can be so vicious toward the imaginary world and it saddens me. You kill a lot of little people's dreams that way.

- Even if you don't read history or you aren't interested in anything that happened before the '60s, there are reasons why we think the way we do.

- That's how the story goes but I don't believe the story.

- I would find myself either the lovey-doveyest-woviest sweet pea, or a mad-woman.

- I believe in eating.

- You can't change what happened. And nobody's asking you to forgive.

- Why be afraid of these cuddly, soft, adorable things?

- I have good days. Like if I get really good coffee ice cream with just the right amount of chocolate syrup.

- A lot of people see themselves as victims, even when you have to stand in line for ice cream.

- It's so difficult to be critical of children because they need to discover themselves. We're always telling them, "No, the tree has green leaves!"

- I'm tired of being a rebel. Now I just want to be me.

- When things get really empty for me, empty in my outer life, in my inner life, the music world, the songs come across galaxies to find me.

- Do you know what it's like to be a girl and have blood running down your legs and think that you're dying, just because no one's told you that's what happens? It's horrible.

- An angel's face is tricky to wear constantly.

- Mess with me and you will not survive.

- I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck.

- I'm not into this dieting thing.

- The cross has been used as a weapon, as it has been used against all women throughout the ages. And that's the greatest evil of all.

- I think you've got to find a giggle somewhere in stuff that would scare the poop outta ya.

- A cornflake girl is Wonderbread whereas a raisin girl is whole wheat bread.

- I would like to think I'm a raisin girl, because in my mind they're more open minded. Cornflake girls are totally self centered, don't care about anything or anybody.

- I like butter and the people who like butter."

- I'm known as that girl who has tea with the Devil.

- I'm not afraid of sadness.

- Everybody has creativity and each person has it in a different way. Some people aren't musical, some musicians can't even think about painting or gardening. There's so many different ways to be creative.

- I wanna be burned, definitely burned, like the witches.

- Give the kids tools, so they can go build their own houses; not the blueprint of what the houses should be.

- Look at me now. I'm breast feeding pigs.

- I wish I had more of a sense of humor.

- I can be so hard on people.

- If somebody's being a jerk, I would like to go wee on their head. And then I do that, mentally.

- The people on the internet know more about what I am doing than I do. Like, they will say that I am going to be in this mall on this day, and sure enough, I am there!

- I'm like a lioness who kills her own prey and no one else has to kill for her. But if some other lioness comes to me and says "I just got a good prey, do you want a piece?" I can say "of course" - and the other way around.

- There are things that I would disagree with Jesus about, and I feel really good about that.

- History has recorded some pretty nasty things that have happened to people. I think we remember. I think it's in our cells and I think it can still hurt sometimes."

- I don't believe in the saying that it all happens for the best, it's just not appropriate.

- Of course I believe in past lives, I mean, three quarters of the human race believes this, it's not like a great new thought here.

- I use innocence in my demeanor like a Venus flytrap.

- I do like to talk about things no one wants to hear at the dinner table.

- I'm not interested in being a really nice person; I want to be a creative, responsible person that's balanced.

- Boys are cute but food is cuter

- Do any of you dream about crocodiles?

-I know I dream about crocodiles. I'm obsessed with them.

- If people can't see things from the other side that's not my problem, it's theirs.

- I think I give equal time in my hatred, right?

- Sometimes I'm mad at some guy, sometimes I'm mad at some girl, and sometimes I'm totally loving some guy, so and sometimes I'm loving some girl.

_ Well, Pele is the volcano goddess and I thought of like, um, sacrificing some of the boys in my life to her but then I decided that that wasn't really a very good idea.

- Anger originates from envy and outrage, not being seen, not being heard.

- We don't know where souls go when they die. We don't know a lot of things. We didn't create the planets. We didn't do this all by ourselves. So, therefore, why wouldn't there be a creative force if it can create humans and planets?

- I've been hanging out with some of the Hell's Angels in England. They're some of the sweetest people I've ever met.

- Real friends have to be understanding of each other, and their faults.

- I think I'm really hard to get to know on a personal level.

- Thailand is calling me.

- People I see laughing all the time, check for razor blades in their anal-force underwear, because it's just a little lie.

- I'm not interested in taking drugs. I do hallucinogens once in a while for journey experiences.

- I hear the wine. It's like a structure. I see it as a piece. I hear it before I taste it. It's calling me. And then I start to hear it when I'm tasting it.

- Not that I use crystal suppositories, I'm not New Age.

- A peach tree says, 'Some of me will be juicy and some of me will be dry I'm not growing for you; I grow because that's what I do.' You always hear some person complain about how dry their peach is and the peach says, 'It's not our fault you have no understanding on the proper use for dry peaches.'

- My theory is that women were the Mona Lisas for a long time and now men are Mona Lisas with little goatees. They are our muses.

- If you're gonna tell a story, you have to grow into the head of the rapist as well as the raped.

- He was a lite sneeze, and not the flu. Most boys would like to think they're the flu, wouldn't they? But they're really just a achoo.

- If you call me an airy-fairy new age hippy waif, I will cut your penis off.

- It's a double-edged sword and if you pretend you don't want it you're a liar and that is going to rip your soul to pieces.

- I'm always dreaming that these bulls are chasing me. Half the time I don't get away - I almost get over the fence, and then they gore me.

- I believe in energy, everything is energy. And therefore sometimes magic can be created if somebody is open to letting energy do what it does, instead of being so cynical, that you miss magic happening.

- I feel like a work really has many sides to it when people have such extreme reactions. When a work is greeted with just, 'Oh, you know, it's nice', then it's not affecting people. So love it or hate it, that's okay.

- I am a real believer in looking at pain and taking it out shopping.

- The music is the magic carpet that other things take naps on.

- I just try to strip myself, peel myself like an onion. At different layers I discover stuff.

- Why is the world where it is? It's so deep-rooted, if we really start looking, and we might not like what we find. But I think we have to, we have to ask the questions.

- I'm beyond the fury of youth.

- I love young women who are angry. They're wild mustangs.

- I didn't want her looking and hearing me and thinking, "Oh my God, that's a scary lady!"

- They felt that it was detrimental material for their children and that it was blasphemous.

- They've decided they kinda' have you figured out.

- My nightmares are so bad, that I mostly reject it when my friends want to take me to a cinema to watch a horror movie. Then I say, "No, thank you. I will dream in a few hours."

- I don't know of anybody who's gonna be fulfilled if they get hit by a bus. You have to surrender to that eternal need to be fulfilled.

- How do you know I'm not having a margarita with Jesus tonight at 10 o'clock?

- Let's be honest, religion has not supported women and men exploring all sorts of their sides, their unconscious. It has not been supportive of, you know, go into the places without shame, without blame, without judgment, and just let yourself really see what's cooking in there.

- I think human beings are so much more capable of what they told us we're capable of.

- Anyone can attend yoga, kabbalah classes, church, lectures by the 'Dalai Lama', yada, yada, yada - but can you be present for your life, and live with the way you treat other people?

- Only a few people should have a "greatest hits". I'm not one of those people.

- I feel like our leaders have hijacked America's personality, and taken her to personality plastic surgery school. And they decided this is who she is.

- The playground is the biggest war-zone in the world.

- You have to read visionaries to have visions.

- They squash the baby bird because their bird got squashed.

- I love reading. I'll read the first sentence and if it makes sense to me I pick it up.

- It's ridiculous saying there's only one true faith, it's like saying there's only one map to get you up the mountain. I want to see those other maps, man.

- I kinda have all the aspects of my personality round one table for spaghetti.

- If it's too loud, turn it up.

- I was doing drugs with a South American shaman, and I really did visit the devil and, well, I had a journey.

- There is no passion without broken crockery.

- You have to ask, how could a nation nearly vote in somebody who isn't qualified for the job?

- We're living in a frightening time and I wish people would wake up and realise they're surrendering their civil liberties.

- Who wouldn't want to shag a queen?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #tori amos #tori amos quotes

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misstrashchan · 4 years

Text

The Man With Two Souls, Pt. 2

Okay, so this ended up being a fucking long part 2 to my previous meta post. There was a lot I wanted to get down, and if it doesn't make sense or you don't agree with it, that's fine, I'd just be happy if you read it. Now I can rest until the finale comes and beats me up.

So, there's a few more Salem and Adam parallels to start off with like

(8) Having the same reaction to hearing someone mention Blake and Oz and the possibility of them getting the upper hand against them

(9) Chronologically after this happens (we see Adam destroy the throne room in Volume 6 episode 2, but we see him lose his mask at the end of the Adam trailer) deciding to go after Blake on his own while Salem creates the winged Beringel grimm and plans to go to Atlas herself, presumably to go after Oscar/Ozpin so he doesn't get in the way of her plans (as well as Ruby since she clearly needs her as well)

"If you want something done right, you do it yourself" - Volume 6 Chapter 13

(10) Adam and Salem telling Blake and Oz about how they're going to destroy them and those around them

"The ability to derive strength from hope is undoubtedly mankind's greatest attribute. Which is why I will focus all of my effort to snuff it out. How does it feel? Knowing that all your time and effort has been for nothing. That your guardians have failed you. That everything you've built will be torn down before your very eyes."

"So you send your guardians, your huntsman and huntresses. And when they fail and you turn to your smaller soul, know that you send her to the same pitiful demise. This is the beginning of the end, Ozpin. And I can't wait to watch you burn." - Salem, Volume 3 Chapter 12

"What you want is impossible! But I understand. Because all I want is you, Blake. And as I set out and deliver the justice mankind so greatly deserves, I will make it my mission to destroy everything you love. Starting with her." - Adam, Volume 3 Chapter 11

(11) Salem and Adam's perception of Oz and Blake affecting their perspective of themselves... and the audience.

Okay, this one's honestly kind of weird. For so, so long there were a lot of people who bought into the idea that Ozpin was secretly evil or somehow worse than Salem, or that he'd done something terrible and unforgivable to Salem. I fully admit, I was one of those people. I mean, I didn't think he was evil, but the way Salem talked to him at the end of volume 3, listening to the song Divide, I thought, he must have done something bad to Salem, right? How could she hate him so much otherwise?

And the worst thing he did... was leave her. When he couldn't go along with being a genocidal dictator of the whole world alongside Salem, and didn't want their children to be a part of that either.

And as for Adam, he tells Blake that she hurt him more than anybody because she left him.

"All sorts of people hurt me in all sorts of different ways. But no one hurt me quite like you, Blake. You didn't leave scars. You just left me alone." - Adam, Volume 6 Chapter 12

And Salem would also have been hurt from Ozma trying to leave her. Especially when you think about her backstory, how she was kept isolated in a tower, and instead of finding freedom in the outside world, found it in Ozma. And then he died, and she was alone again. And then the Gods destroyed humanity, and Salem is left alone one again for god knows how long.

"Once again, Salem was alone." - Volume 6 Chapter 3

And weirdly, similar to Ozpin there were people who bought into Adam's false perception of Blake too. That Blake is somehow the one who hurt Adam more than he hurt her (which is, completely insane).

And Salem and Adam want Oz and Blake to feel that way. To be paralyzed with self hatred and doubt, to be stuck in the past, and feel as if everything is their fault. That Salem and Adam are their responsibility, at first to save them, and then to stop them.

You see it with Adam's gaslighting, trying to paint her as an unfaithful coward. And I mean, just listen to the song Divide. The whole song is Salem trying to make out Ozpin to be the villain, that she's killing people but the real murderer is him for trying to give people hope, even if it was hope based on a desperate lie.

"It was you who ended their lives! Made them to dig their own graves! With your dark, sick, cruel design, convinced them their world could be saved." - Divide

And there were a lot of people convinced by Salem's song Divide that Ozpin was far worse than he really was, to the point it was surprising that he hadn't wronged Salem in some way like most people were expecting.

And Adam tries to make Blake believe that she's a coward, that she's selfish and weak, that running away from her problems is all she knows how to do.

And for a long while, Blake believed he was right. That she was toxic to the people around her, that she made things worse for them. And there were some people in the fandom who thought that she really was this toxic person.

It's actually kind of scary, but Salem and Adam managed to manipulate not only Blake and Oz's perception of themselves, but also the audience as well in how they saw them.

I don't doubt for a moment this is going to extend to Oscar as well if she meets him, that she'll likely try to convince him that he's just Ozpin and that he, Oscar, doesn't matter, and he'll fail and make the same mistakes as their past lives. Which undoubtedly parts of the fandom are going to take Salem's false perception of Oscar to heart as well and believe her.

Which brings me to move on from Blake's parallels with her first "soul" and Ozpin, to her second "soul" and Oscar.

Now Blake alluding to the Man with Two Souls is metaphorical, while in Oscar's case it's very literal, and it's no coincidence she's the one who first introduces us to the concept to us with the book she's reading during the Shining Beacon.

"...It's about a man with two souls. Each fighting for control over his body"

(It's important to note that the conflict between the two souls is not one of Good vs Evil)

Blake's conflict of her two metaphorical souls fighting for control, is the false perception Adam had of Blake and who she used to be with him, her past that she can't escape, and the struggle for her smaller, more honest soul, trying to define herself and decide who she wants to be. And for Oscar, he's struggling to define himself and decide who he wants to be, because of the merge with Ozpin, and that his past will become Oscar's too.

Both of them want to do the right thing and rise to their challenges, but it seems like such an impossible task to them that they're afraid to meet it.

"I'm... scared. I'm more scared than I've ever been. Than I ever thought was possible. I always knew I wanted to be more than a farmhand. But this? Who would ask for this?" - Oscar, Volume 5 Chapter 5

"I joined the Academy because I knew that Huntsman and Huntresses were regarded as the most noble warriors in the world. Always fighting for good. But I never really thought past that. When I leave the Academy what will I... How can I undo so many years of hate?" - Blake, Volume 2, Chapter 10

But the person who sees Blake's "other soul" the person she's truly capable of being, who she really is, even when she can't herself, is Yang.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. You're not one to back down from a challenge Blake." - Yang, Volume 2 Chapter 10

And the one who sees Oscar and who he's capable of being even when he can't himself, is Ruby.

"Hey Oscar? I know this isn't going to be easy. But the fact that you're trying says a lot about you. You're braver than you think." - Ruby, Volume 5 Chapter 5

Blake and Oscar are also the first people we see Yang and Ruby open up to about their past trauma. The difference between the two being that in the Burning the Candle scene Yang is more willing to be vulnerable around Blake, to let her guard down and open up to her about her abandonment issues and how they've affected her.

Because as a more emotionally mature character she understands she needs to do that in order to properly relate to Blake so she can offer her support. She gets frustrated however when Blake still refuses her support, and so she has to give her a push to accept it.

Ruby, however, isn't as emotionally mature as Yang, and doesn't find it easy to let down her guard and talk about her emotions. Her mentality being described as "I don't have time for my emotions, I've got to make sure everybody else is okay" - RWBY Rewind: Ruby Rose Rewinds With Us

She feels like she constantly needs to be a pillar of strength and support for everyone around her as a leader. She has a hard time opening up about her own feelings and being vulnerable around others. For her, it seems much more natural to internalize those feelings rather than face them head on. As a leader, she feels she isn't supposed to show fear or doubt. If she admits how she's hurting or how scared she is, she'd be afraid of those around her losing faith.

Ironically, it's Ozpin's words of advice to her that enforce this mentality

"But if you aren't constantly performing at your best, what reason do you give others to follow you?"

So even though only a minute ago Oscar saw that Ruby was clearly upset over something (being reminded of Penny's death)

Ruby then goes on to act like nothing's wrong when she then attempts to reassure Oscar. And it feels like a performance, and though Ruby genuinely does want to reassure him, it comes across as insincere to him. He's frustrated because Ruby isn't being honest about how she's feeling, and is only concerned with his feelings.

So in the Dojo scene we have Oscar start to push Ruby past that flawed mentality that Ozpin enforced, to be more honest about how she's feeling, to talk about how the Fall of Beacon and the loss of Phyrra and Penny affected her, how she's afraid of Salem killing people she cares about, and that she'd kill anyone regardless.

And with both Ruby and Yang opening up about their past experiences they can relate to Blake and Oscar's own fears, doubts and insecurities. Blake's need for answers and Oscar's fear of the fight with Salem, and Yang's need for answers and Ruby's fear of the fight with Salem.

"I told you! I'm not telling you to stop! I haven't. To this day I still want to know what happened to my mother and why she left me. But I will never let that search control me. We're going to find the answers we're looking for Blake. But if we destroy ourselves in the process what good are we?" - Yang, Volume 2 Chapter 6

"I am scared! But not just for me. What happened at Beacon shows that Salem doesn't care if you're standing against her or not. She'll kill anybody. And that, scares me most of all. Phyrra... Penny... I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. That I didn't think about them every day since I lost them. That I didn't wish I had spent more time with them. If it had been me instead, I know they would have kept fighting too. No matter how dangerous it was. So that's what I choose to do. To keep moving forward." - Ruby, Volume 5 Chapter 5

And by demonstrating their own resolve, as well as their belief in the kind of people Blake and Oscar are capable of being that inspires them to be that person.

"I'm. Not. Running."

"You. Will." - Blake and Adam, Volume 3 Chapter 11

"She made a choice. To put others before herself. And so do I."

"Then you've chosen death." - Oscar and Hazel, Volume 5 Chapter 12

There's also Blake expressing her doubt in Yang during volume 3 after she attacked Mecury, causing Yang to question her own judgement.

She compares it to how Adam used to attack people, and of course she knows Yang wouldn't do something like that without good reason, but she can't but feel like the situation is very familiar. And Blake knows Yang isn't Adam, and makes it clear that she's decided to trust Yang.

"I want to trust you. I will trust you." - Volume 3 Chapter 8

But despite that, Blake's words do still weigh on her mind even when she's alone, where Qrow comes to talk to her about what happened and reassure her, and then they end up talking about her mum.

And then with Ruby in volume 7, Oscar expresses his doubt in Ruby in her decision to lie and hide the truth from Ironwood, comparing it to how Ozpin did the same to them, which, similar to Yang, causes Ruby to question her own judgement. And obviously he knows Ruby isn't Ozpin, that she probably had a good reason for lying. But again, the situation just feels so familiar.

But ultimately he decides to put his trust in Ruby, even before Ironwood.

"I do believe in you. But not only you." - Volume 7 Chapter 7

And by episode 9 they're both on the same page in deciding to choose the truth over fear. (if only James could have stayed on that page too)

Similarly to Yang, we see Ruby alone in episode 4 of volume 7, and you can tell Oscar's words are still weighing on her mind, as Qrow comes over to talk to her and she asks him if she is like Ozpin, and he reassures her that she's not, and then they end up talking about her mother.

Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb here, and you can call me out on my bullshit if you like, but I'm making a prediction (like, 12 hours from the finale, but hey, it might happen later in the series for all I know)

If we're going full in on the parallels here, remember how Yang lost an arm trying to protect Blake from Adam, and afterwards Blake ends up leaving Yang like Raven, believing she'd be better off without her?

And how Salem is on her way to Atlas after hearing Ozpin had reincarnated, the foreshadowing for Ruby losing an eye and them bringing up her trauma around Summer in Chapter 11?

On top of her wanting Ruby alive?

I'm gonna guess Ruby loses an eye trying to protect Oscar, and then afterwards either Oscar or Ruby tries to sacrifice and give themselves up to Salem, except it ends up being a hollow sacrifice like Summer's

"I didn't have a choice I did what I had to do I made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you!" - Red like Roses Part 2

Because Salem would end up taking both of them either way. I actually can't imagine a scenario where she doesn't, because she needs both of them. But one of them has a worse fate, a "bigger sacrifice" in store for them when they reach Evernight (which I'm still thinking is Ruby)

#rwby #ozpin #oscar pine #yang xiao long #ruby rose #salem #blake belladona #adam taurus #trash meta #thank FUCK I can finally sleep #thanks to anyone who read this to the end #I don't think I'm any good at this but it feels good to just waffle sometimes

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The Narcissistic Parents: Parallels in the Lives of Jacques and Raven

(Sorry to take so long. I forgot how unpleasant it is to write about narcissists.)

Jacques and Raven are both narcissists who are also the parents of grown children. There's a lot we don't know about their pasts, but what we do know fits the narcissism pattern perfectly.

Narcissism is a combination of great egotism, inflexibility, and a complete lack of empathy and compassion. It seems to be caused by a lack of consistent attention growing up, leaving the person to believe that attention is a resource that can be fought for and won, and that other people are just obstacles in the way of that goal. We don't know anything about Jacques' past, but it's easy to believe that Raven encountered such conditions growing up in a bandit camp.

This next fact is something that people who haven't met a narcissist find hard to believe, and people who have one in their life that they want to have a relationship with find very, very hard to accept: narcissists see people as things, and they always will. It's not just that they "don't get it", they lack the ability to ever "get it". The connection can't be made because the connector isn't there. It just doesn't make sense to them. As far as the narcissist is concerned, being asked to not treat people as exploitable resources is like sitting a starving child in front of a plate of food and asking them not to eat. It's obvious the food is there to be eaten, and the resources (the people) are there to be exploited. To assume otherwise is stupid and actually offensive as far as the narcissist is concerned.

This condition is permanent. There is no "growing out of it". There is no deathbed conversion, unless it's a final performance for status points from a sympathetic audience. From personal experience I can say that while they're very likely to be bitter and angry at how ineffective their coping strategy has been on their deathbed, they still won't change it.

In recent years our culture has slowly come to comprehend that there are certain concepts that people with severe autism will never understand. We need to comprehend that narcissists have the same inability to understand empathy and compassion.

Narcissists can be very flamboyant in early adulthood, cutting quite a social swath with their combination of charismatic egomania and a willingness to buck convention out of a genuine lack of concern for the consequences of their actions on other people. This matches both what we know of Raven at Beacon and Jacques at the time of his marriage to Willow Schnee. Over time the people they knew in their youth usually come to see through them and distance themselves, which will leave the narcissist isolated and alone. The only solution for this is if they have reached a high enough social status that there will always be a fresh supply of willing syncophants to replace those they lose. Both Raven and Jacques have reached such a position, but the difference is that the later syncophants rarely form as strong a bond as the earlier ones did, before the narcissist developed a reputation as a user. This could prove especially damaging for Raven, as her ability to use people as teleportation anchors depends on her ability to form a close bond with them, which in a narcissist tends to diminish over time.

Narcissists can be socially useful. I once knew a narcissist who worked for the UN, using her overly aggressive personality to bully third-world leaders into complying with UNICEF, saving children's lives in the process. The high social status points she got from the work were enough to keep her at the task, although her husband had a full-time job managing other people's expectations that she be anything other than a bully. Their kids didn't come around anymore.

I think Ozpin had something similar in mind for Raven, hoping the high social status of being a Huntress would be enough to keep her at the job. It worked for a while, and might have worked longer if she hadn't found out that he had lied to her. Then again, there probably came a time when the allure of being a bandit queen simply won out over the drudgery of being a new mother. A bandit queen is always the center of attention, whereas a new mother must cede the spotlight to her baby.

But Jacques and Raven aren't simply narcissists, they are narcissistic parents, and that's a special kind of awful. There are distinct differences in healthy families and families of narcissists,and distinctive ways they damage those around them, especially children.

To the narcissistic parent, children, like all people, are things, either tools or obstacles/enemies. Tools fall into two categories, syncophants or scapegoats. In contrast, healthy families with children are designed to guide them on their path to becoming independent adults, with deference given to their personal wishes when doing so is realistic and appropriate. These different approaches cause some very distinctive differences in how healthy families and families of narcissists organize themselves.

A healthy family with children consists of a series of stepped barriers designed to protect the children from harm. The highest barrier is around the youngest children, keeping out much of the outside world and even protecting them from harm from older siblings. As the children age and become more competent, the barriers gradually lower.

There is also a barrier between the children and the parents/caregivers. For the safety of the children certain topics are not discussed in their presence and certain pieces of information are withheld from them.

We see an example of a family with healthy boundaries in the Xiao Long household. Ruby mentions in the third episode that the girls were sheltered from boys at a younger age. We find out in the third season that Tai and honorary caregiver Qrow have conspired to hide information about her mother from Yang, fearing another incident like the one that nearly killed the girls early on. Even when Yang is considered old enough to be told the truth, Qrow still holds back telling her so as not to distract her from her normal life, only revealing it when she needs a distraction after being disqualified from the Vytal Festival Tournament. Qrow also mentions having "a number of inappropriate stories" he could tell about their parents now that the girls are grown or nearly grown, but lets the subject drop when they express disinterest.

Narcissistic families are organized for the benefit of the narcissist. Other family members orbit the narcissist like planets orbit a star. They occupy roles assigned to them by the narcissist, in different variations of syncophant and scapegoat, with the syncophants usually, but not always, kept closer. They are controlled through manipulation, which may take the form of either flattery or threats, but always contains an element of coercion. The children are used as tools to accomplish the goals of the narcissist, and information is withheld from them or provided to them in the service of these goals, without any consideration for whether or not it is age-appropriate,or whether they express actual interest. Internal barriers are minimal or non-existent. External barriers exist to protect the narcissist, not the children.

Growing up with narcissist parents/caregivers leaves marks on a child's psyche. The biggest one is a lack of self worth and self-confidence. In extreme forms this deficit can lead to an individual who lacks an internal compass and who must rely on others to tell them right from wrong. It also leads to an individual who has difficulty connecting to other people. These tendencies can take various forms, including but not limited to the Perfectionist, the People-Pleaser, the Rebel, the Observer, and the Manipulator.

Jacques has three biological children, Winter, Weiss, and Whitley. Raven has one biological child, Yang; and two defacto foster children, Vernal and the previous Spring Maiden.

When speaking of and to their children, both Raven and Jacques are bored and disinterested in them as people. They show no interest in them unless their children can be used to their benefit. The emotion they express the most in regard to them is annoyance. No matter how much their children accomplish, they never once express pride in them. Nor do they ever show love or tenderness towards them. This is in marked contrast to the concern, pride, and love that the Belladonnas show Blake, and that Tai and Qrow show Yang and Ruby.

Yang is more affected by Raven's abandonment than by her direct narcissism, so the damage done to her was indirect, but still substantial. The writers have said they will address that issue in V7.

We don't know much about Raven's relationship with the last Spring Maiden. Raven took her in, trained her, and murdered her for reasons which Raven is vague about, but probably had to do with Raven nearing the upper age limit for inheriting the power. I used to say that Raven was a better parent than Jacques because she removed her toxic presence from Yang's vicinity, but Jacques hasn't committed filicide -- yet.

Vernal is a perfect syncophant to Raven, loyal until death and only concerned with "family", i.e. what Raven wants. Cinder even compliments Raven in front of Vernal on how well Raven has "conditioned" Vernal.

All of the Schnee children appear to have self-esteem issues. All of them seem to have been syncophants at one point in time, although the girls may now be scapegoats. Certainly Ironwood is the scapegoat blamed for "stealing" Winter away from Jacques (because of course she would not have left him of her own free will!)

From what we have seen of her Winter has Perfectionist tendencies. When she arrived at Beacon Weiss had both Perfectionist and some Manipulator tendencies, although those have lessoned since Volume 1. Whitley seems to be manifesting Manipulator tendencies. He appears to be the most damaged of the siblings and also the most terrified, judging by the look on his face immediately after Jacques struck Weiss. Unlike the girls, he would have been subjected to Jacques' undivided attention after they left, and as I blogged earlier, I suspect Jacques may be planning to use the Aura transfer technology to take over Whitley's body at some point in the future.

A lot of people want Jacques to acknowledge what he's done, break down, and beg for forgiveness. This is unrealistic. A narcissist never does that unless they are backed into a corner and performing for an audience, and even then it's just a performance.

What I would like to see is the Schnees get out from under Jacques' thumb -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. This won't happen without a fight. He already set the Armor Gigas on Weiss to stop her from leaving the first time. He'll no doubt employ more and dirtier tricks next time.

(I'm leaving Salem and Cinder out of this discussion because I'm not entirely convinced they are narcissists as opposed to some other malignancy. Salem isn't an egomaniac. Cinder is certainly an egomaniac and probably a narcissist, but the jury's still out.)

Next up in the Parallels series will be Sisters or Heirs, followed by Drunkards and Scapegoats. They should all be much shorter.

(Art not mine.)

#rwby #rwby thoughts #rwby theory #jacques schnee #raven branwen #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #rwby winter #winter schnee #whitley schnee #taiyang xiao long #qrow bronwyn #qrow branwen #rwby qrow

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