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#that’s the second time
strawbeb · a month ago
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someone collecting for charity came to the door. and i answered it and they asked me if someone older was home and i shook my head and they left
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gibberishquestion · 6 months ago
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for years you have paraded around in public, wearing a hat that so boldly claims that women want you and fish fear you. you know just as well as i do that this is a lie. can you live up to the bar your hat sets? currently you are being lowered into a tank of piranha, and only your wife has the controls to save you. does this woman truly want you, or will it be you who fears the fish? let the game begin
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girlcaligula · 6 months ago
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even the thought that some people's grandparents went to university is SO FOREIGN to me like what do you mean your grandads and grandmas weren't all tailors or farmers or bus drivers
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eugeniedanglars · a year ago
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BEYOND obsessed with this house in fort worth, texas i mean
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okay pretty normal, let’s look at the interior photos—
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WHAT THE FUCK
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here we see the first example of a pattern that will recur throughout the house, which is that once your eyes adjust to the bonkers dictator chic marble-and-gilded-everything, you notice some pretty egregiously shoddy workmanship. look at how that baseboard intersects with the outlet. look at how the marble... uh, thing on the wall (i was gonna call it a fireplace but it’s not a fireplace, i have no idea what that is) has gaps and weird angles wherever two pieces meet. it’s like they’re trying to recreate versailles on an ikea budget
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i... don’t hate the kitchen. i mean, obviously it’s ugly and #toomuch and there was zero effort made to match the very modern appliances and sink to the cabinets, but still, i’m a sucker for a pass-through and a big sink with a window above it.
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this ceiling Fucks but the wrinkly, uneven curtains and terrible caulking around the faux-column in the middle anti-Fuck
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why did we suddenly completely switch aesthetics. why is there an old TV set into the wall at floor level. why is there a tiny set of doors next to it. why does the fireplace look like an asset ripped from the original dark souls. i feel a sinister presence sucking at my soul the longer i look at this photo
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i feel like whoever designed this monstrosity started with the dining room and then once they’d finished it realized they’d blown half their budget on just this one room. it’s so overdecorated that the gaudiness feels intentional, like it’s a statement rather than a side effect of genuine tastelessness. i can applaud that.
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here we have the antithesis of the dining room. i don’t know what this room is supposed to be but i hate it. i’m pretty sure everything in this photo literally came from ikea. there is a lack of commitment here and it is rancid
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ladies, gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, we have now hit the cornerstone of any great tacky real estate listing: the heart-shaped bathtub! this one gets bonus points for being next to a gilded mirror and surrounded by bright red damask wallpaper. as a bathtub i’d give it a 1/10 because those angles look incredibly uncomfortable, but as a place to shoot my lover through the heart while wearing a gauzy fur-trimmed bathrobe before fleeing with our ill-gotten fortune i’d give it a solid 11/10
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here we are with the lack of commitment again. this literally looks like the kitchen in my college dorm but with a weird fringey lamp and some curtains that are absolutely too long for their windows
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again, the mix of styles here is just killing me. half damask wallpaper and carved wall panels, half normal-ass bathroom? really? isn’t there anything truly unhinged left in this house? anything truly opulent, decadent, off the chain, extravagant, gaudy—
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THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BAY BEE!!! THAT’S MORE THE FUCK LIKE IT!!! COMMIT! TO! THE! BIT! GO BIG OR GO HOME! IF YOU’RE GONNA STICK A CEILING DOME IN THE FOYER OF YOUR SUBURBAN TEXAS HOUSE IT HAD BETTER BE TWELVE FEET IN DIAMETER AND PAINTED WITH DOZENS OF FLOWERS OR ELSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE??
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and finally, to close out the show, a reminder that this entire acid trip of a real estate listing took place in an ordinary, modern single-story house in texas, one with a backyard and utility boxes on the exterior walls and neighbors who may be blissfully unaware that they live mere feet from a yawning pit of madness.
i love tacky real estate listings.
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sleepcities · 8 months ago
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no but the same way that phones and laptops are guilty of scheduled obsolescence, entertainment conglomerates, and to some extent even regular writers just trying to ‘make it big’, are treating stories as though they’re meant to have a built-in expiration date. it’s the obsession with plot twists that ultimately mean nothing, it’s shock for shock’s sake, it’s the way even minor unimportant spoilers are treated as inherently story-ruining. stories are written for the first viewing and the first viewing only, because after you’ve seen something once, why would you want to see it again? so it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t hold up on a second viewing or if the entire plot is ruined if you go into it knowing a single detail. you’re only going to care once, aren’t you?
but like. is that really true? is it really true that an experience with a piece of art is only worth having once? is it really not worth it to create something that will be loved enough that its lovers come back to it? that’s so much
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sundryvillains · a month ago
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dean winchester’s greatest hits + text posts (7/?)
bonus:
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villlainarc · 2 months ago
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hello everyone i made a which dsmp character are you quiz and i put far too much time and effort into it please take it <3
#with any luck! it is good and accurate on the first try and if not. it has yet to be inaccurate on the second#based on my test subjects at least.#also. the descriptions. i think they are good and i'm quite proud of them#dream smp#dsmp#uquiz#oh btw idk how many people are still gonna be able to see these tags at this point but. iF anyone was curious#when i was testing for accuracy i got wilbur#so his answer is. every so slightly higher than it should be bc. that was Me. several times#*ever so slightly#sapnaps was also higher than it should’ve been bc i got him a lot before i got the amount of questions and which questions to keep right#but at this point those extras are. more irrelevant#at the beginning it was super obvious esp for wilbur there was a way overinflated amount of wilbur answers when only like 2 people got him#including me lmao#anyway. that’s ur behind the scenes if u read my edited tags#(also i didn’t cheat to get an answer i wanted i answered the same thing every time and went in mostly blind bc#a) terrible memory since b) the answers weren’t ingrained into my head yet bc c) my answers were all chosen at the start#so tldr yes i got wilbur legit when i took it)#actually some more edited tags if u see them bUT if u want to ask questions about any part of this quiz i will gladly answer#bc i put. yeah. so much time and effort and thought into this#so i have many answers if u have questions#and trust me i’d be more than happy to ramble about the making of this uquiz lmao
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