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forzacharlie16 · 1 year

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The Less I Know The Better

pairing: Kiri Sully x fem!reader🌟🪷🫧

summary: Kiri can’t help but think of her best friend in ways she shouldn’t. She’s shouldered the burden long enough, but when she tries to confess, disaster strikes. Her plan fails horribly and now her life is ruined… all because of some stupid boy!

warnings: gay people😈 kiri being a simp but also so oblivious to reader, the sully family supporting their lesbian daughter!!! as they should, no homophobia this is a safe space, lo’ak being a meanie (not genuine), tuk being the no. 1 matchmaker in pandora, fluff, some angst that gets resolved almost immediately bc i’m impatient

word count: 4.9k (damn)

author’s note: don’t flame me if this is bad, this is my first tumblr fic😪 ALSO i named her alu but only bc i refuse to use y/n, so it’s still kiri x reader and not kiri x oc! [i know my first fic was supposed to be neteyam x fem oc but… kiri <3🤭🫀😍🫂👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻]

🌟🌟

Kiri started the day by being kicked in the face by Tuk, they younger girl slamming her heel straight into her sister’s nose in an attempt to outrun the yerik (hexapede) chasing her in her dream. Of course, it bled- badly- meaning Tuk was left staring at Kiri’s hunched over spine in floods of tears as the older girl diligently mopped the red from her face, smothering the wound with a damp rag. Jake had sat by Tuk in an attempt to calm her tears, but even after Kiri had pronounced several times that she was genuinely fine, Tuk was still overcome by a tearful sequence of hiccups, ones that shook her small body entirely.

Lo’ak had teased Kiri for the blossoming bruise in the centre of her face, once beautiful blue skin now a discoloured and uneven purplish colour, calling her all sorts of names, mostly just variations of narvä’ (ugly). She had ignored him, instead making it her mission to trip him over so he would hit his face just as bad (which he did, but he blamed it on Kiri pushing him into a tree root rather than his painful lack of spatial awareness). Now with somewhat matching marks, both na’vi made their way towards Mo’at’s hut in order to get some salve for the bruising, something Kiri had unfortunately run out of a few days before, using the last of her stash to apply to a small mark on Tuk’s shin to stop the girl’s frown drooping right off her face.

The tsahik sensed the disturbance to her calm aura immediately, beads clicking together as she turned her head to observe the way they hovered by the entrance to the healer’s tent. She clicked her tongue, “Ack! Why is it always you two?”

Lo’ak just shrugged, moving to sit opposite the woman with a sheepish smile, pointing to the thin cut on the bridge of his nose from the tree root. “Kiri’s fault. She almost killed me.”

“I did not!” Kiri refuted, smacking his shoulder as she folded her legs beneath her to sit beside him, tugging the woven shawl hanging over her shoulders closer. “He fell because he’s a skxawng (moron/idiot).”

“Liar,” Lo’ak hissed in English, sending her a fierce glare, to which she only responded by sticking out her tongue and humming childishly as Tuk would.

Mo’at clucked her tongue again and they stopped, turning to face her. “And you,” she gestured to Kiri, “what happened?”

“Tuk was running from yerik in her dream, and I fell victim to her foot.”

Her grandmother smiled fondly, “She should be able to sleep by herself now.”

“She can,” Kiri grumbled, “she just likes to sleep near me. Which is fine but... I’m not a fan of her kicking habit.”

“She’s never kicked me,” Lo’ak shrugged boastfully.

“She has bit you though.”

His smug look dropped immediately, ears falling flat against his skull as he remembered the vicious bitemark on his bicep from his little sister. “Oh yeah.”

“Come closer, and don’t flinch,” Mo’at ordered, slathering a thick layer of a grey paste to her grandchildren’s noses, tail swishing in frustration as they flinched away from the smell and coldness.

“Bleugh, that’s worse than ikran shit,” Lo’ak cursed, shrieking lightly when Mo’at smacked the back of his head. “Ngaytxoa, ngaytxoa (sorry, sorry)! But it’s true!”

Kiri just shuddered, focusing intently on counting the beads in her hair instead of the godawful stench on the middle of her face. Sometimes knowing what was in the pastes was better, but this one was worse.

“Okay,” Mo’at stood quickly, shooing them towards the entrance, “leave now. I’m busy healing people who actually need help.” She gave them each a small pat on the cheek before shooing them out again more aggressively, the bangles and adornments on her arms rattling as she did.

“Irayo si (thank you),” Lo’ak shouted behind him, Kiri bowing her head, before they disappeared further into the village.

“Eywa this shit is so gross,” Lo’ak mumbled quietly, leaning closer to Kiri’s ear as they navigated through the growing crowd of early morning hustle and bustle.

“It’ll fade away in a minute,” Kiri muttered, scratching at her upper lip with a slight grimace. It was like she could taste it!

“Yip! Kiri! Lo’ak! Matu (hey)!”

The two na’vi stopped still, turning round to follow the direction of the voice to see Alu rushing over, eyes still hazy with sleep.

“Kxi (hello),” Kiri smiled softly, feeling her face warm as her friend came closer.

It was obvious she was preparing to draw them into a hug, but both Sully’s stepped back awkwardly, shaking their heads. “Um… we have Mo’at’s bruise salve on,” Lo’ak explained quickly upon seeing her face fall slightly.

Immediately she wrinkled her nose, dropping her hands to her side. “Oh ew. What happened?”

Lo’ak shrugged, “I tripped into a root and Tuk kicked Kiri in her sleep, both smashed our noses though.”

“Wiya (damn)… ’ak (ouch). You should be more careful,” they started to continue walking and Kiri couldn’t help feeling upset by the way that Alu was solely addressing Lo’ak. “I swear Lo, it’s always you getting hurt from doing something dumb,” she laughed, her hand brushing his arm quickly. Kiri’s heart lurched. Lo? Gross.

Lo’ak just held his hands up, turning the attention to his sister who had started to sulk a few steps behind them. “It was her fault,” he huffed, “she tripped me!”

Kiri just rolled her eyes, watching a dazzling smile appear on Alu’s face. “You deserved it, you were making fun of me for my nose saying I looked gross, so I thought it was only just.”

Alu gasped, laughing as Lo’ak spluttered out insults, falling into step with Kiri and linking arms. She leaned closer, close enough for Kiri to feel the tickle of her hair against her cheek as she whispered, “Don’t tell him, but you should’ve broken his nose for that.”

Kiri’s ears twitched and Alu let out a quiet chuckle that she muffled beneath her palm. “You’re right,” Kiri mused, “next time.”

Lo’ak checked over his shoulder to see if the girls were even following him only to see Kiri’s bioluminescent freckles glowing more and more as Alu continued whispering to her in a faux hushed voice, occasionally giggling and dropping her forehead to rest against the woven shawl she wore. He grinned evilly at her and winked, ignoring the look of sheer panic on his sister’s face, and continued walking ahead, whistling as he went.

Eventually, Alu tore herself away from Kiri’s side with a small frown, dismissing herself from their company to go aid her siblings in their chores- chores that she had initially abandoned to run over to talk to them before getting distracted and following them on their walk. As soon as she was out of earshot, Lo’ak started making loud and obnoxious kissy noises, to which Kiri lunged at him, raising her fist to slam it against his chest. “Fnu (be quiet)!” she hissed, nose twitching as Lo’ak continued to tease her, the laughter bubbling out of him in a way that she found incredibly frustrating. “Lo’ak,” she groaned, tugging at her hair in desperation, yellow eyes big and wide like Tuk’s when she'd try to convince people to be nice to her when she’d been a menace. Lo’ak stopped teasing, coughing loudly in hopes it’d smother his remaining laughter and sent Kiri a shy half smile.

“Ngaytxoa (sorry),” he said, nudging her shoulder with his as they circled back to their family’s hut. “I was just joking.”

“I know,” Kiri muttered, taking a deep breath in, “it’s just… I really try not to make it obvious.”

Lo’ak pulled a face of sheer disbelief (one that he’d seen his father pull frequently as if forgetting people could see him) but immediately shook it off, knowing it’d only piss Kiri off. “In the nicest way possible… you’re shit at subtlety.”

“Kalweyaveng (son of a bitch),” she laughed, pushing one of her braids behind her ear.

“I’m being honest! Serious, swear it, on Eywa!”

“On Eywa?”

Lo’ak nodded, face as solemn as he could muster.

“Shit,” she breathed, scratching at her chin awkwardly.

“Shit indeed,” he echoed, “but don’t worry, ‘m fairly sure the family’s subtlety ran out after Neteyam.”

“True, sa’nok is only subtle half the time.”

“Yeah, and dad? Cannot keep it together for one moment, he’s an… what’s the phrase? A readable-“

“An open book?”

“Yeah! Yeah, he’s an open book.”

“Who’s an open book?” A deep voice questioned, causing both Lo’ak and Kiri to glance at each other nervously. They seemed to forget about their father’s ability to sneak up on people. Shit.

“Umm…”

“Spider,” Lo’ak blurted. “He’s all like, blah blah blah, and all that shi… y’know?”

Jake tilted his head to the left, brows furrowing ever so slightly and Lo’ak winced. Shit, again.

“You’re up to something,” Jake concluded, folding his arms across his chest.

“Whaaat?” Kiri laughed, voice cracking slightly. She coughed. “No, I mean, no we’re not.”

“Lo’ak…”

“No sir, Kiri speaks nothing but the truth, Devil Dog sir. Umm Alpha Bravo Charl…” He lifted his hand to his brow in mock salute, elbow raised high.

Jake just rolled his eyes, tweaking Lo’ak’s twitching ear gently with a smug smile playing on his face- Kiri couldn’t help but marvel how similar Lo’ak looked to him when he pulled that face. “Get back inside, skxawngs,” he laughed, watching them practically run back to their hut, tails tucked between their legs.

Perhaps the Sully’s were notorious for their lack of subtlety, but everyone knew Kiri and Lo’ak were the worst at it.

By the time he got back to the hut, Kiri and Lo’ak were already squabbling again, this time over a piece of fruit, an argument Neytiri was refusing to acknowledge given her very obvious eye rolls and the fact that she was faced away from them with Tuk tugging at her hair.

Jake whistled sharply, watching Kiri and Lo’ak’s face fall blank, eyes wide and mouths agape. He grinned again, laughing at their dumbstruck faces, and Neteyam chuckled into his own fruit.

“Skxawngs,” he hummed fondly, stroking his wife’s cheek absentmindedly before attacking Tuk with tickles. “Rutxe (please) Tuk, ‘ak (ouch),” he cried dramatically once she had gotten a fierce hold on the roots of hishair and started tugging relentlessly, small legs kicking wildly.

“Ngaytxoa sempul (sorry dad),” she giggled, letting go only for him to sweep her up in his arms again, swinging her round. “Ahhh! Ftang, ftang (stop, stop)!”

Jake grinned, slowly yielding, and placing her back on the ground, where she immediately ran to curl up in Neytiri’s arms for safety. “Alright, ‘evi (kid), go hide like always. I’ll getcha again.”

“Ma’Jake,” Neytiri hummed, smoothing her palm over Tuk’s kuru gently, watching her mate hold his hands up in surrender before sitting down nearer to his teenagers.

“Kiri… Lo’ak, what happened to your face, ‘evan (boy)?”

Lo’ak looked up from the thread he was messing with, eyes wide and panicked, quickly swallowing his mouthful before prearing to launch into a great tale of dramatics. Kiri noticed this and beat him to it: “He fell into a tree root.”

Lo’ak kicked her. “Nuh uh! She,” he pointed at Kiri, the tip of his finger poking her cheek, “pushed me over and I fell. I was violently attacked!”

“That’s not true!” She squawked, staring up at Jake as innocently as she could.

“Does sound like you Kiri,” Neteyam added, wincing at the death glare she sent his way.

Lo’ak laughed slightly at the way Neteyam balked and Kiri’s glare flicked over to him, somehow more furious than when she looked at Neteyam. It was an uncomfortable heat swirling in her eyes, and it was making him itch, even when she cast her eyes to the floor. “She did push me,” he started again, more desperately than before, anxious to escape Kiri’s rage. “She told Alu she did!”

That did it.

Kiri slowly turned to face Lo’ak again, face frozen in pure shock. He recovered quickly and grinned cheekily whilst meeting his dad’s eye.

“Lo’ak…” she whispered painfully, almost choking on the word.

“You told Alu, hey? Hmm. She’s nice,” Jake smiled knowingly, looking just like Lo’ak once again. Kiri visibly deflated.

“I was kidding,” Kiri spat, crossing her arms, and sulking.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t close up babygirl,” Jake sang, tapping her cheek playfully, watching in delight as she yelped and then glared at him.

“Bah!” She exclaimed, smacking his hand away and snarling quietly. “Ftang (stop)! It’s not funny.”

“Ma’Kiri,” Neytiri started, her voice as smooth as the stones adorning her braids, “tell us what’s wrong.”

“I’m fine.”

Neytiri clucked her tongue, lifting Tuk from her lap to move closer to the others, her youngest now wrapping herself around her sister’s slouched figure.

“No Tuk,” Kiri whined, pushing her away.

Tuk pouted- all big eyed and sad- moving to cuddle up to Lo’ak instead, close enough to be able to rest her feet in Kiri’s lap.

Jake reached out tentatively to stroke her cheek, leaning closer to try and meet her watery gaze. “Ma’itetsyìp (little daughter)… I- we were…”

“Plltxe (speak),” Kiri snapped, hesitantly meeting his eye.

“Why are you embarrassed about us talking about Alu?”

Her face crumpled and she began to sob, burying her face in her hands as she wailed. Lo’ak patted Tuk’s hair comfortingly to keep her from crying, meeting Jake’s eye and nodding in confirmation of what the man already assumed. Neytiri had moved quicker than anyone could comprehend to pull her daughter into a hug, smoothing down her hair and shushing her tears. “Mawey ma’ite (be calm, my daughter). You’re okay, you’re okay.”

“How’d’ya feel now?” Jake asked once her sobs had ceased, tapping unintelligible rhythms against her ankle bone.

“Nawm (great),” Kiri sniffed, wiping at her eyes aggressively. “Ngaytxoa, I didn’t mean to…”

“Do not apologise,” Neytiri interrupted fiercely, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Now, rutxe (please), tell us what’s wrong.”

She froze, unblinking. She didn’t want to. Unconsciously, her eyes drifted over to Lo’ak, all teary and panicked, and he smiled at her gently, as if encouraging the words to roll off her tongue. She went to shake her head but was still, paralysed with fear.

“Kiri,” Lo’ak whispered softly, as gentle as the breeze, “it’s okay.” He nodded once more, this time more confidently than before. Tell them. Tell them. Tell them. Kem astìtewnga’ si tute astew (a brave person does brave deeds).

She nodded back- barely visible, but Lo’ak knew, a bright smile tugging at his mouth as he watched his sister shuffle in place awkwardly before rolling her shoulders back and straightening up to face her parents properly.

“I like Alu.”

Jake nodded. “Yeahhh…”

Kiri’s dark brows furrowed, looking as perplexed as Jake had when he first started learning na’vi traditions. “That- that’s it. I like Alu.”

“So do I,” Neytiri smiled, “she’s lovely-”

“No.” Kiri shook her head, her hands trembling in her lap. “No, I like her, like like like her.”

“Yes, we- uh- we thought you might’ve felt like that,” Jake spluttered nervously, scratching his head. “Sorry. I know that’s probably not what you wanted us to say.”

Kiri teared up.

“You’re not the most subtle at the best of times, ma’ite,” Neytiri hummed, stroking Kiri’s hair, “especially not when you’re in love.”

Unsubtle. Was it really that obvious? She glanced over to Lo’ak and he shrugged as if reading her mind and she thought back to earlier that day where he had said the exact same thing. Oh Eywa…

“Kiri’s in love?” Tuk questioned Lo’ak, intending to be quieter but still unable to monitor her volume properly.

“Yes, tsmuketsyìp (little sister),” Neteyam laughed softly, sending Kiri a huge grin.

“Kezemplltxe (of course),” Lo’ak whispered in her ear, pinching her waist playfully, dodging her wriggling limbs.

Unable to fight it, Kiri’s face split in half with the biggest and brightest smile they’d seen on her, practically glowing as they all huddled together to smother her in hugs and kisses, Tuk weaselling her way closer to chew at her shawl affectionately.

“Bah, Tuk stop wriggling! ‘Ak (ouch)! She bit me!” Lo’ak screeched.

“Tuktiery,” Jake said in a low voice.

“Ngaytxoa, sempul,” she responded immediately, kicking Lo’ak purposefully one more time before settling down.

“Sooo…” Neteyam started, “when are you going to tell her?”

Kiri froze. Shit. “Umm, I’m- I’m not.”

Neytiri drew back, a frown marring her pretty face. “No, you have to say something.”

“Fiiinneee,” she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut to avoid her mother’s expecting stare.

“Yay!” Tuk cheered. “Ooooh! Do it now, do it now, do it now! If you don’t, I’ll bite you.”

“Wha-”

“Yeah, do it now or you’ll never say anything, and we’ll have to suffer through you complaining about it all day,” Lo’ak jibed, sending her a genuine smile to show he was just kidding.

“Okay, okay, okay!” She cried, standing up on shaky legs.

“Go!” Jake laughed, ushering her away. “Quickly!”

Kiri sent them a big smile, nodding reassuringly before turning on her heel and rushing off, the twine shawl flying out behind her. Jake grinned as he watched her go, heart aching at how grown up she was now, turning to sit next to Neytiri who was beaming equally as bright with her hand on her mouth.

Kiri’s head span as she raced through the village. She was never one for physical activity, much preferring to limit it to chasing after Tuk and Lo’ak when going on adventures, finding it more enjoyable to stay hunched over in Mo’at’s company in the healing tent, mashing leaves and making salves. Now she realised just how unfit she’d become from that habitual behaviour, and Eywa, she regretted it. But soon enough, she reached an extremely familiar tent: Alu’s.

Shit.

But before she could even think of something to say, a lilting voice caught her attention a few meters away.

Kiri knows eavesdropping is bad, it’s something that her parents had constantly chided them all on (given how nosy they were and also due to the sensitivity of the information discussed between the Olo’eyktan and Tsakarem), and she was very nearly about to turn her attention back to the hut until she heard a laugh. A very girly laugh. The same one echoing in her brain from earlier that morning- Alu’s. Her feet betrayed her, and she found herself sneaking closer and closer until she could understand all of the words that were being shared in hushed whispers.

“Not here!” Alu had said lightly, although Kiri knew she was probably smiling whilst saying it, the words whispering past her fangs.

“You said the forest was too far away,” the other voice- a male voice- responded teasingly. Kiri’s brow furrowed deeply. Alu never really talked to boys… did she?

“Ma’Rasi, I said that because you are too impatient to wait all that way. It has nothing to do with me, nor my restraint.”

Oh. Kiri’s heart sank. Her feet stumbled backwards, and she ran away quicker than she had ran there. But she was so desperate to escape the situation she failed to stay quiet, the sound of her rushing away disrupting the quiet atmosphere Alu and Rasi stood in. Alu poked her head out from behind the cloth her sa’nok had hung out to dry over a branch that she and Rasi hid behind.

“Rasi,” she whispered, voice strained, “I think someone heard us.”

The boy inhaled deeply and ran after the person who’d been eavesdropping, hearing Alu race after him a few seconds later, panic ebbing through his veins.

Minutes later, Kiri appeared near her home and collapsed in exhaustion several meters outside the hut on the nearest patch of grass and soil, curled up on the floor and sobbing deeply. Shit. Of course, this happened. Of fucking course! She should’ve just stayed home and let Tuk chew away at her flesh until all that was left was a pile of bones and her twine shawl (but knowing Tuk, she’d gnaw her way through that too, she had already developed a bad habit of eating hair beads). She didn’t know why she’d never considered the possibility that her extremely beautiful best friend was involved in a courtship, she never even considered if Alu even liked girls in the same way!

All the running had knocked the breath from her lungs, leaving her lying on the ground dizzy and struggling to breath. She prayed silently to Eywa, mostly unintelligible strands of sentences that made no sense but seemed to be the only words she could muster. Oel ngati kameie Great Mother, she thought somewhat bitterly as she felt her heart thump heard enough against her rib cage she was confident it would burst straight through the brittle bone. Her tears had ceased, mainly because of her exhaustion, and were now drying on her face over her still glowing freckles. She could feel the soil against her cheek but couldn’t find it within herself to go anywhere else, so stayed on the soft soil of the forest near her home.

Kiri was so tired that she couldn’t hear the thundering of footfalls against the ground, sending vibrations through the soil she lay in. Didn’t hear the distinct shout of Alu’s gentle voice. Didn't hear either of these things getting closer and closer and-

“Wiya (damn),” a masculine voice huffed sharply from above her. Rasi. He sucked in a deep breath, staring down at Kiri’s unmoving frame and laughed painfully. “You’re a great runner, Kiri te Suli Kìreysì’ite. Could outrun anything out there if I could run that fast.”

“Kä (go),” Kiri groaned lowly, still facing the soil. She didn’t want to hear him gloat about how he successfully wooed Alu’s heart or whatever else he wanted to say to kick her when she was down.

“Ma’paysyul (waterlily), what are you doing down there?”

Her hands clenched at Alu’s lovely voice. This was going to hurt.

“We heard you.”

“Heard me when? I'm afraid I don’t know what you mean.” She answered coldly.

“Pxiswawam (just a moment ago),” Rasi said dryly.

“Hmm, must’ve been someone else-” Kiri started, pushing herself up with the intention of rushing back to her hut and hiding away forever.

“You think me a skxawng, Kiri?” Alu teased, moving to sit next to her friend, playing with a half-braided red and green bracelet.

“No…” she whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin atop them, ignoring the soil that clung to her blue limbs.

“Then don’t treat me like one. You ran, why?”

Kiri shrugged. “I heard something that was not meant for me to hear.” She couldn’t help how bitter the words sounded. “So, I left.”

“You ran,” Rasi corrected, nose twitching as she met his eyes with a fearsome stare.

“Call it what you’d like, Rasi,” she said cruelly, “running, leaving, whatever.”

Alu blinked slowly, looking up at Rasi who nodded to her quickly.

“Kiri… what did you hear?”

“You and Rasi… Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alu’s face fell quickly. “Tell you what?” Her voice was squeaky now, shaking.

“That you and Rasi…” Kiri grit her teeth and gestured around with her hand, “y’know, that you’re courting or whatever it is that yo-”

She was interrupted by a bellowing laugh from Rasi, the na’vi doubling over at her obvious jealousy. “Courting? Me? With her? Oh, for Eywa’s sake, you’re both as kakrel (blind) as each other!”

At his outburst, Alu’s face flushed darker, her ears twitching as her tail anxiously began to swish behind her.

(Unbeknownst to the trio, the Sully’s were able to hear every word and were currently breaking the Olo’eytkan’s most sacred rule: no eavesdropping. They hunched together by the opening to their hut with their ears pressed against the canvas, whispering to each other in shock.

“Oh no,” Neteyam sighed, “Alu’s with Rasi? I could’ve sworn he was with-”

“Foai? Yeah, he is,” Jake finished, “I gave him the Olo’eyktan’s blessing a few weeks ago. He’s not courting Alu.”

Lo’ak gasped, “Which means Kiri’s just a jealous freak!”

Tuk giggled quietly, hand over her mouth like Neytiri had told her once Rasi and Alu had stopped just a few metres away.

“She calls me a skxawng but she manages to cock this up,” Lo’ak murmured to Neteyam, causing the older boy to snort loudly, immediately slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise.)

Kiri trailed her gaze over to her hut quickly, tail swishing as she fought the urge to run away again. Alu noticed this and stopped her by grabbing her wrist tightly, tugging her closer. Unfortunately, her strength was misjudged, and she sent Kiri sprawling into her lap.

“Eek!” She squeaked anxiously. “Ngaytxoa! Ngaytxoa, I only meant to…”

“It’s okay,” Kiri breathed, blinking quickly, "it's okay."

Of course it is, Rasi thought to himself, rolling his eyes and flexing his hands. His lip quirked upwards as he slowly started to slink away, dropping a second threaded bracelet by their feet before moving away quicker, occupying himself by drawing shapes into the grass.

Kiri smiled softly, unsure of how to act. Neither girl had gone to put more distance between them, but neither knew how to function with this little distance between them, instead they both sat staring at each other nervously.

Alu acted first, moving her right hand to cup Kiri’s cheek, careful to avoid the bruise on her nose. Kiri’s tail swished wildly. Alu always knew that Kiri had more ‘demon-like’ features but had never found any issue with them. In fact, right now she thought they were the most beautiful thing Eywa could’ve gifted to any na’vi: they were so enchanting and unique, not even Jake and Lo'ak had the same feautures as Kiri. “Nalor (beautiful),” she whispered, mouth barely moving.

Kiri found herself leaning closer, eyes focused on the specific umber yellow shade of Alu’s irises, noticing all the golden flecks that were dotted throughout. She stared at the smattering of glowing freckles across her face- far more than anyone in Kiri’s family had- and the small scar across her cheekbone from where her brother had accidentally sliced her with a knife when practicing his hunting techniques with her. Her mouth was slightly open, purple lips offset by her glistening white fangs and once Kiri looked down at them, she couldn’t move her gaze from them.

“I’m not courting Rasi, Kiri,” Alu said sweetly, nose twitching as Kiri’s tail brushed against her leg accidentally. “I wouldn’t do that to Foai, his actual mate.”

Kiri’s eyes widened and her ears pinned to her skull. “Oh-”

“Skxawng.” Alu lifted her hands to brush against Kiri’s forearms, fingers trailing over the twine adorning her shoulders. She tilted her head to the left ever so slightly, gazing at Kiri out of more narrowed eyes. “I wouldn’t you that to you either.”

“Um… what- what do you mean?” Kiri spluttered, eyes darting anywhere by Alu’s pretty face.

The other na’vi grinned, mouth widening into a smirk as she huffed out a gentle laugh at Kiri’s obliviousness. Her hand moved to her neck, thumbs brushing against her jaw to move her head to face her again. “Don’t act all shy now, you were so eager to eavesdrop earlier and now when I’m trying to tell you to your face, you’re searching for an escape route!”

“I- I’m not-” Kiri said quickly.

If possible, Alu’s smile brightened even more at Kiri’s words. “I know, I know. I’m just teasing, ma’yawnetu (beloved).”

(“Alu’s got moves!” Lo’ak beamed, “this is amazing.”

“Ma’yawnetu? Oh Eywa, Kiri’s all grown up. Ma’Jake, ma’ite’s all grown up.”

“Shhh mama, I can’t hear over your crying!”)

“Ma’yawnetu?” Kiri stuttered, blinking dumbly.

“Kiri… how many times did Toruk Makto drop you as a babe?”

Kiri’s face screwed up in confusion- “Uhm, he didn’t.”

“Are you sure? You seem a bit slower up there than usual,” she grinned, tapping her index finger against the girl’s temple lovingly, biting her lip to smother her laughter at Kiri’s offended stare.

“You’re being mean,” Kiri laughed quietly, finally looping her arms around Alu’s shoulders.

Alu grinned wickedly, left eye dropping into a wink. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, ma’tìyawne (my love). I can kiss you better if that’d help. After all, can’t have the Olo’eyktan after my head for upsetting his 'babygirl', can I?”

Kiri’s face flushed warmer than it’d ever been, and she just stared silently, mouth agape in pure shock. She couldn’t even function when Alu whispered to her earlier that day, how was she supposed to function when she said stuff like that to her?

“Kiri, can I-”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t know what I was going to say,” Alu rolled her eyes with a slight chuckle.

“Yes.”

Alu pinched her waist quickly. “Let me do this properly, ma’Kiri. So impatient,” she teased amusedly.

“Please just say what you need to, I might faint otherwise.”

“Oh well we can’t have that can we?” Alu moved her face even closer, her nose barely bumping into Kiri’s- which no longer smelt like Mo’at’s bruise salve (thankfully). “Nga yawne lu oer (you are beloved to me/I love you). Can I kiss you, ma’Kiri? Rutxe (please).”

Kiri nodded, letting Alu press her lips against hers.

Sometimes being related to such skxawngs like Lo’ak and evil critters like Tuk isn’t the worst fate Eywa has bestowed upon her. And now, now that she knows how much Alu loves her and knows how fucking obvious they’ve been for the past however long whilst trying to hide the signs of teenage love, Kiri is glad she was convinced to confess by her family, glad that she was possibly the most unsubtle person in the clan, and glad that she eavesdropped.

“You know,” Alu whispered, “Rasi was helping me prepare courting gifts for you.”

Kiri beamed, “Really?”

“Yes, that’s why I didn’t want you to know I’ve been hanging out with him. The less you knew the better.”

“I’m glad I know now,” Kiri admitted, trailing her middle finger along the length of Alu’s nose.

“I’m glad you know now too, oer oare (my moon). I guess it’s for the best, hmm?”

🌟🫧🪷

DONE‼️

hope u enjoyed <3 lmk in the comments :)

#kiri avatar #avatar fic #avatar the way of water #avatar imagine #atwow kiri #kiri x reader #jake sully #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #neteyam #neytiri #tuktirey #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite

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octavioooo · 3 months

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i was gonna add more doodles but Yoyo wanted to add text before he went to sleep</3

colour text:D

faggot

woah

BLEUGH I WISH I COULD DRAW☹️

#splatoon #dj octavio #craig cuttlefish #itawasa #idk man #cuttletavio #gay sexy #self love #cutie patootie #i love my friends! 1!1!!1 #:3 #wait what #:p #hehehhe #<3 #<333 #homos oc

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cbk1000 · 4 months

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Hello, it's me, back with more of the vet fic sequel (yes I know it has a proper title now; yes I will continue to always and only refer to it as 'the vet fic').

He did not have a fabulous time, because people, including the one he had very clearly arrived with, began to dance all round him, and when jibes would not bring him into their midst, Merlin tried champagne. Arthur of course was not a lightweight; but he was not as hefty as he could have been. There was a little sizzling in his head after one glass, and a kind of creeping insanity, which thought that it might have been possibly a very little nice, to kiss Merlin all round his dumb face. He was currently in solemn consultation with a little boy over his hamster, who was called George, and had prompted a visit to the table with the vet, not because there was anything wrong with him, but because it was felt that Merlin needed to know about him. Merlin had taken off his jacket, likely because it was hampering his barbarity, which Arthur had barely tamed with the product which already four hours later was losing that hard-going battle. His hair was breaking out in little ringlets along his brow, and the piece at his nape which Arthur might have nuzzled, with more champagne in him, and less people round them, was kicking up off his neck. He had his hands clasped on the table, and was nodding along seriously to a rundown of George’s colour, age, temperament, and the time he had got his ball stuck under a wheelbarrow when the boy suddenly stopped extolling his whiskers, and said to Merlin, “By the way, who’s he?”

‘He’ was Arthur, who had been sitting across from him for five minutes before his presence had registered.

“That’s Arthur.”

“Who’s Arthur?” the boy asked; not, naturally, to Arthur himself, but to the keeper of all knowledge animalis.

“My boyfriend.”

“I thought boys had girlfriends?”

“Some of them have girlfriends, some of them have boyfriends.”

“Oh, ok,” said the boy, and then: “Why did the mother and father hamster never tell their babies a bedtime story?”

“Why?” Merlin asked.

“Because they didn’t have any tales!”

“Well, do you know why hamsters are afraid to get on sailing boats?” Merlin asked, after laughing appropriately lengthily at a small child’s bad joke.

“No.”

“They’re afraid of pi-rats,” Merlin confided in a whisper.

Arthur like any rational man was still suspicious of children, who like anything that small have to get by on their cunning; but seeing that Merlin was with the boy the way he was with animals, he felt (and this was not entirely his fault, since he was on his second glass of champagne) that same striking impulse for love which has always saved the race from ruin. As a sober man he would have been embarrassed at himself; but as a slightly pissed one, he put his chin in his hands and stared at Merlin not unlike the child was doing. They were both looking at him like dogs, full of stupid loyalty, and love; and Merlin, looking back at him, suddenly flashed the dimples unbearably, so that Arthur could see he had showed them in the same helpless feeling with which Arthur was receiving them. He was never very sure in his love, of where he stood in its estimation. For him it was a thing which he could never be sure of having, but which he could be sure of losing. But Merlin’s whole face was lit up with it across the table, with the small boy for witness. He was just unabashedly doing it, where anyone could see he was smitten.

Then someone else came round to ask Merlin why their cat went, “Bleugh” and the boy was taken off for his nap by his mother, and the look was turned away from him, though he kept it safe, and warm in his throat.

“You’re slightly pissed, aren’t you?” Merlin asked when they were alone once more.

“No,” Arthur said, which for some reason prompted a laugh.

“Yes you are, you big numpty. Want to go for a walk and have a bit of a drunken snog? I’ll catch up to you real quick. What, did you have a whole entire glass by yourself?”

“Two whole entire glasses,” Arthur replied crisply.

#preview #fic #merthur

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some-pers0n · 6 months

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This. Then again most saturated yellows are just. bleugh. Yellow is the worst colour.

#ask #Ash

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all-or-nothing-baby · 1 year

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8 GET KNOW ME BETTER/CATCH UP WITH ME QUESTIONS

tagged by @greyhavenisback. thanks love! <3

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: currently single and honestly mostly very content with that, i just. miss kissing. bc kissing is nice. so, kind mutuals, kiss-o-gram for cassidy when? lol.

FAVOURITE COLOUR: petrol/gasoline tones. or the less ostentatious answer of purples and blues and greens.

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: justin timberlake's cry me a river bc me and my fourteen-year-old put it on about an hour ago bc he was trying to argue that bringing sexy back is a better song (it's not and i will take zero criticism). i'm not usually a fan of JT's music—he's better at acting imo—but that tune is just *chef's kiss* and a proper classic early 2000s BOP!

LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: just watched some of the brilliant twin peaks: a limited event series (2017) as i'm currently nearing the end of a rewatch of the entire run (og s1+s2, the FWWM film, and The Return). it was ep2 and the song that's performed as the credits roll is shadow by chromatics, so. that.

THREE FAVOURITE FOODS: i could never! plus most of my faves i can't eat anymore because of my evil MCAS. but three faves today? 1. gruyère cheese on sourdough toast with lashings of worcestershire sauce (which i ate for lunch earlier today) 2. fry's turkish delight which i used to think tasted like perfume when i was a nipper but love now. i had one the other day for the first time in ages and i want MORE. 3. spicy phở, nom nom. although i now have to make my own bastardized version bc there are soooooo many vegetables i can no longer eat, grr. still good tho!

LAST THING I GOOGLED: 182 centimeters in inches bc my brain seems to live in the 1970s, pre-metrication, even tho i was born in 1980. i think its maybe bc it's what my folx used? and even tho i was taught metric in school it just never stuck, ha. anyway, the reason is i'm looking for a second-hand sofa bed on ebay and i live in a basement flat so correct dimensions are A Big Thing.

DREAM TRIP: anywhere not-warm with mountains and forests. maybe rural germany or romania? i just want to breathe in the mist and lay down in the damp earth until moss and lichen begin to grow over me tbh. think castle lecter in lithuania, where hannibal grew up... tbh, my chronic illnesses and now shitty mobility means i prolly won't actually get to go abroad ever again *sobs* BUT i believe one can and should always dream :)

ANYTHING YOU WANT RIGHT NOW: i'll take a body that works properly pls! i'm going for a meal and then to a peaky blinders ballet (!) tomorrow eve and instead of feeling pure excitement for it, i'm mostly anxious tbh which, bleugh. also, i'd like to hang out at home with my best mate bc i was too ill for us to catch up over christmastime, meaning i've not seen him in over a year as we live at opposite ends of the country :( but he's hopefully coming to stay with us at easter, so yay.

tagging, play or nay: @shealynn88 @sharkfish @novemberhush @jmeelee @petrichoravellichor @rauko-is-a-free-elf @witchsickness @demonlandline @slytherkins @stevewhoreington @raisesomehale @halinski @eusuntgratie @wulfnerd @harrgrove @jimmypricegf @thisgirlsays22 @catboynecromancy @deklo @grey-sides @lovebillyhargrove @deedoop @suometar @ltleflrt @sailorsally @mjulmjul and anybody else who wants to have a pop pls just consider yourself tagged!

#get to know me tag game #i got tagged #tag you're it

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formulaonedirection · 9 months

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sammy @zweizimtsterne tagged me last week and I love her and I'm BORED

Are you named after anyone? no, my parents wanted a simple name and they picked this one. Fun fact growing up all my 3 siblings had "H" names until bonus baby was born and I insisted he also have an "N" name.

When was the last time you cried? I cry like. Every day. I just cry really easily tbh but I was crying yesterday cause I'm sick of being sick BLEUGH.

Do you have kids? not technically but all these bitches IS my sons. in a way.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? almost never

What sports do you play / have you played? LOL. I did silat (it's like an indigenous martial arts I guess) for a couple of years as a child but it didn't really stick. I was in......the drama club. Let's leave there yeah.

What's the first thing you notice about other people? Hairstyle? Like hair colour/hair texture/hair style? Not in a bad way that's just like what I think about a lot in myself so i look at other people's.

What's your eye colour? dark dark dark brown basically black

Scary movies or happy endings? I literally scroll all the way down to a fic to check that it has a happy ending. I will check the synopsis of a film to make sure it has a happy ending before I watch something.

Any special talents? I can make a clicking tongue noise really loud. Like one floor down loud. Is that a talent. My talent is that I can make anything unserious.

Where were you born? weirdly in the same hospital I would later go to university to!

What are your hobbies? making character spotify playlists, doing my silly little design edits on photoshop, obsessive music listening, watching those damn "experts answer" videos on WIRED.

Do you have any pets? No <3

How tall are you? Like 160? 161 maybe.

Favourite subject in school? History always

Dream job? I don't dream of labour. I would conceptually like to own a small business because I have the skills sets and experience to do it and I think it would be fulfilling but ultimately I do not dream of uh. jobs. My dream job is Natalie's housewife.

tagging anyone who is bored just tell me and the last few people in my messages @sirlewishamiltons @des-iderate @trailsofpaper @belteppismo @leapyeap @pitstopmyheart @doohanok @ladyeggplant @lesellieknope

#okay that was my enrichment #gonna wash my hair and watch good omens now #tagged in

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yunarim · 1 year

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our rainbow-coloured days will advance forward, so shine forever

❤︎ summary : Yuuka, a completely ordinary magicless girl, finds herself in an incomprehensible predicament. Soulmates appeared in the human world only a few decades ago and still have many inconsistencies, but Yuuka's case, to her dismay, becomes rather unprecedented.

Apparently, her soulmate is waiting for her somewhere beyond this world. ❤︎ tags : female reader, soulmates, reader is yuu, sfw, fluff, pining in some chapters, one character = one soulmate prompt ❤︎ ao3

ִ ꕤ Better than gold | Kalim Al-Asim

⏤ . . . prompt : soulmates leave handprints on the body parts where they first brushed each other ⏤

❤︎ before reading : very rational yuuka for this chapter (she's still sweet lol)

They were red. Kalim remembered, they definitely were red, his cheeks. He was what, five or so, when parents told him what soulmates actually are.

He was genuinely flummoxed at how many bonds there was ⏤ thousands, millions, myriads! His parents tried to calm him down by heart, but all in vain, Kalim was already investing into finding his soulmate while turning a deaf ear to a teacher assigned specifically for royalty and genuinely devoting himself to teach at least something about economics.

By the age of ten Kalim considered studying soulmates at the university, but of course nothing is that simple when you have a whole country to lead in the near future. But a little ticklish feeling in his chest was telling him that it would be okay to throw himself at this sweet romantical sensation.

Jamil would often find his master rolling on an enormously big bed and fantasizing about the very first meeting with his soulmate. Jamil was the very first one who learnt that telling Kalim he may not have his kindred spirit was strictly prohibited.

Soulmates phenomenon was the one thing which pushed Kalim forward, always giving him extra energy to make the world a better place and just keep on enjoying life when he was feeling down.

Kalim wasn’t stupid. It’s not like having someone connected to you spiritually was a good thing which could help you to magically resolve all the problems and just let it be, no, Kalim wasn’t dumb.

No one could say Kalim was stupid when his eyes sparkled with glee and an adamant excitement whenever he saw people. Having someone by his side was just enough. People were his greatest joy, a living panacea, his both sheer and delight.

He used to reread famous stories about princesses and their adventures. He wondered if soulmates existed when these fairy tales were written? Life isn’t some sort of story told with a bit of magic involved, and yet Kalim sunk deep into his thoughts.

Maybe… just maybe, was there a princess waiting for him too?

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Jeez, why was she sneezing so much lately?

Yuuka almost thought she caught a long-lasting cold which progressed to something near chronic, but her friends just brushed it off, chucklind and dropping almost obvious hints that someone thought of her.

“Damn, what am I, a child?” she asked them a little bit nonchalantly, trying to concentrate on her studyings. “I literally have no one to chat with beside you.”

Her friends suggested to broaden her horizons so that she could see a lot of wonderful things, experience love and⏤

Blah-blah-blah, bleugh, the hell? Come on, she wasn’t in a middling drama series. Life wasn’t so bright as it was drawn, so were people.

Yuuka was, so to say… rather exceptive. She had to work hard if she wanted to make it into university, then work hard to earn a lot of money and maybe buy an enormous palace to live in all by herself and, if she’ll get rid of this inexplicable sneezing, she’ll consider raising a cat or two. Such an immaculate plan!

Speaking of the devil, she sneezed again, cursing under her breath and almost throwing all of her copybooks, but quickly collected herself.

Dictionary she was observing before happened to be opened on a page with the letter ‘ s ’ on it.

Soulmate.

They were red, her eyes. Small vessels burst from anger and lack of sleep, causing Yuuka to sigh. Friends, parents, even teachers said it would be a problem if she didn't find her soulmate by the age of twenty. Employment becomes a truly overwhelming process if you do not have stability in a world where soulmates have become the second mark in the passport, overtaking marriage in importance, which was relevant all these centuries.

Maybe she was too captious. She preferred to think she was rational, always aiming at career success, so why… Why was everyone trying to convince her there were other things to pay attention to when she had an entrance exam to be passed flawlessly soon?

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Guess exams didn’t matter anymore.

Yuuka was devastated at how meaningless her life had become. What were her dreams about pursuing a career, raising money and buying a palace with two cats?

Yuuka listened to a suspicious man named Crowley, and even if mother told her to not talk to strangers, there was no better choice. His speech turned into a stream of almost incoherent words, from which Yuuka could only catch that she was in the world of magic and wizardry, like the heroine of a second-rate soap opera, over which her friends sobbed mercilessly, dreaming of being in the place of the main character.

Screw that, being actually physically forcefully dragged into another world as a matter of fact wasn’t something ever so romantic at all! She had to think about renting a small apartment being from another world, trying to find a job without having a higher education. Well, if she’s lucky, she’ll get a diploma of a magic freaking college, being absolutely magicless herself, so would it mean she would be deceiving her future employers⏤

No, actually, before that.

What’s with that smell?

The smell of burning reigned in the room, and she hastily looked around. A boy next to her was in panic, his small of the back was literally burning with blue flames.

“Sevens, help me!! Please!”

Yuuka ripped off his ceremonial robe, trying to untie a tight belt along the way, but was succeeded in the end. She patted the boy’s small of the back without hesitation and made sure everything was fine.

“Dude, you okay?” She asked, her pupils still trembling from the mess she had to witness.

“You’re my savior!! Thank you so much!”

Yuuka dared to look at him, now that his rode wasn’t hiding his head with a dark hood.

Lights were dim, occasional green magical glimmers shone somewhat apathetically, but nonetheless Yuuka thought she saw an epitome of the sun itself.

They were red, his eyes. Widened in curiosity, but still a hint of courtesy almost washed over all the joy, so the boy wouldn’t seem mannerless. They were gleaming warm red as if tiger lilies she saw once in her childhood.

Ah yes, she remembered it now. She was twelve and it was raining hard when she ran away from home, unable to bear reading any more math books. The realization of inevitable nights with a detailed analysis of theorems in geometry tormented her like a Canterville ghost.

She couldn’t imagine herself doing something so reckless once again in her lifetime, but that tiger lilies she saw in a meadow… Was it even possible to grow wildly like that? She didn’t know, but appreciated the beauty nevertheless.

They were red, her cheeks. Kalim couldn’t tell if she tried helping him so hard she was out of her breath or was it something else, but…

How pretty she was. An amaranth red hue dusting her pretty cheeks felt warm even if he wasn’t even touching them in the first place. Kalim felt like burning. Sure he did considering his small of the back almost turned to ashes a few seconds ago (it wouldn’t anyway but he was delighted to realize he would be okay due to the girl helping him). But no.

His heart was burning. No gentle warmth he felt when reading those silly little stories for children, no playful lukewarm flashes of happiness when helping people. It was a searing fire, bursting under his ribs and spreading throughout his body. And somehow it felt nicer than anything.

And maybe a little burning sensation on the small of his back.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ✿ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Yuuka somehow adapted to everything. Her new friends didn’t insist on her finding a soulmate, they actually suggested a few quite okay options regarding her future job. They were pain in the ass, but they were her pain in the ass. And they were so absurdly beautiful in their little antics it was just very funny.

It was Ace and Deuce who half-jokingly suggested getting a diploma in beast-training, it was Leona who suggested opening her own restaurant and cook meat for him everyday, it was Azul who suggested her working in Mostro Lounge and never know financial difficulties anymore (actually the last variant was quite a tempting offer, but she politely declined, knowing how cunning Azul can be).

She wanted something different this time.

What was the point of trying to maintain her usual self when she was in a completely different world, wouldn’t it be okay to have a little fun?.. Just a little?

“Oh, Yuuka, hello!!”

She was sitting on the roof, peering into the cloudy sky and frowning, as if echoing the fluffy gray shapeless clots. She turned when she heard a familiar sweet voice, ignoring her rising heart rate. She was just startled, that’s all.

“Good evening, Kalim,” she answered, not minding the Scarabia dorm leader sitting near her. “Isn’t it a little bit late? I heard Jamil say you’re off to bed by 10 pm.”

“Normally I do,” he replied in a quieter manner. “I just wanted to think a little, but I stumbled on you here.”

“Oh, don’t mind me, I can leave.”

“No, no! I absolutely enjoy having you around, please stay.”

He was sweet, it almost hurt. Yuuka sighed, letting tips of her lips curve in a small regretful smile.

Kalim was nice. She admired how he was imbued with love for life and for people, when she was so gloomy and rational herself, not even daring to think about the beauties of this world, hiding in the shadows of her doubts.

The air was stuffy, and Yuuka grimaced as she stared up at the graying with every passing second sky, not noticing Kalim's affectionate gaze on her.

“Yuuka, do you believe in soulmates?”

Somehow she didn’t feel disgust at the thought when it was Kalim who voiced it out loud.

“I… maybe I do. I wasn't used to it before, though. Maybe due to the fact I wasn’t in a magic world to begin with,” she chuckled, returning to her seat.

“Good! I do believe too. And you know what, haha…”

“Would be so corny if you say I’m your soulmate.”

It’s not like he was sure.

He wanted his soulmate to be her.

She differed from the princesses he read about in fairy tales, she wasn’t wearing fancy dresses and expensive jewelry, she obviously didn’t want to experience an unbelievable adventure with a glorious marriage in the end and live happily ever after.

Yuuka was simple. It was almost funny how her classmates claimed she was so complicated and captious when Kalim just smiled at her gentle features, admiring her hard work from afar and never mentioning how sweet she was, smiling to him in the corridors before entering a classroom, how delighted she looked playing with Lucius.

How dreary she looked, looking at the flowers in the college garden.

She wasn’t a classical princess at all, and yet he thought he could faint out of joy when he spotted a freaking elegant handprint on the small of his back.

And yet it wasn’t so simple to just touch her somewhere in order to make sure. He saw her as inviolable, absolutely precious and refined gold.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “But it would be fun!”

“Hmm.”

She was smiling.

“It would. Oh…”

He turned his gaze on the sky too this time and realized it started raining.

“Let’s go,” she suggested, giving him her hand to help him stand up.

That’s it, Kalim though, now or never!

Kalim reached for her fingers, almost touching them, but a sudden clap of thunder behind Yuuka made her scream in fear and jump on the spot. Kalim, reaching out to her at that moment, apparently also turned out to be extremely dumbfounded and frightened by her own reaction, so he did not calculate the trajectory and slipped on the wet tile, dragging Yuuka after him.

“Oh Sevens, are you alright?! I’m so sorry!!”

Yuuka thought that now she would lose consciousness, but a powerful burning scalding sensation pierced her shoulders, and she instantly opened her eyes, meeting Kalim's worried gaze.

“O-oh… I’m o-okay… I guess.”

“Do you feel pain anywhere?”

“My shoulders,” she answered, glancing at Kalim first and her limbs second.

“Oh, sorry, I just drugged you… It’s my fault.”

He quickly collected himself, helping her stand up and almost instantly grabbing her hands again in order to get to her infirmary, but she gently stopped him.

“This is embarrassing, but please wait a bit..”

She pulled down the edges of her wet shirt and gasped in unison with Kalim.

Fresh bright crimson marks of his palms were imprinted on her skin, a slight light glow surrounded the contours, and suddenly Kalim clutched at his back, hissing from the pain piercing him.

“Don’t tell me…” she whispered, and if Kalim didn’t actually concentrate on her speaking he wouldn’t have heard her due to heavy rain.

They were red, her cheeks.

“Haha! This is so dumb!”

They were red, his eyes.

“It is!”

Yuuka chuckled while Kalim smiled broadly. An ephemeral light feeling filled her lungs, causing her to laugh as hard as she could, and Kalim gladly picked up her high spirits, laughing along with her, creating an orchestra of gentle idyll.

A sudden image of the tiger lilies she saw once popped up in her mind, and she stopped laughing, a sweet warm smile plastered on her face.

Maybe it wasn’t exactly lilies she wanted to witness once more.

“I wish you patience with how rational I am,” she giggled, placing her hand on the small of the Kalim’s back and causing him to blush a little at her playful persistence. “Would you take care of me?”

“Don’t worry,” he answered, a cordial smile never leaving his face.

He pressed his lips to her shoulders, noticing how contours of the handprints stopped glowing and finally took on a calmer shade, turning almost pale and now resembling an intricate tattoo.

She buried her nose in his ozone-scented hair and inhaled the pleasant rainy scent, feeling all her troubles suddenly melt away as the raindrops trickled down his neck.

“Actually,” she said playfully. “I believe you taking care of me should have started from us escaping the rain.”

“Oh please,” he giggled, turning his warm gaze to her. “It’s calming, isn’t it? And after it ends let me show you some flowers! Especially that one of the red colors. I guess you like red!”

She pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“You’re right.”

She liked the red of his eyes and he fell in love with the red of her cheeks.

Maybe that was finally something fairy tale worthy.

❤︎ notes : song : better than gold - nct dream

#twst #twisted wonderland #kalim x reader #kalim al asim

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mrs-toohot · 7 months

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Is it just me or when you’re trying to make your MF/MC and you’re choosing the eyebrows, and they all look so weird like I don’t know which eyebrows to pick if I choose the thin ones they just kinda look weird but if I choose the thick ones, they look kind of funny😭

ITS NOT JUST YOU I literally struggle every time I change her hair!!!! There’s only one nice set of eyebrows (bottom left in your 2nd screenshot) but they’re soooo millennial and also the eyebrow colours look weird on them and just bleugh.

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faggot-friday · 2 years

Text

In Every Shade of Purple // Sophiana

written for @constant-sapphic-breakdown's birthday gift!!! Art will be posted later btw

summary: Sophiana wedding !!!

trigger warnings: swearing, sex mention. lmk if there's anything else

other notes: they/them demi biro Sophie, ae/aer lesbian Biana, it/its afab Keefe, he/him afab Fitz, xe/xem Dex, she/her Amy, she/her asexual Stina, genderfluid Maruca (uses he/they/ce near the beginning, and then they/she near the end). Dex x Keefe x Fitz, implied four horsegirls. I drop my url. Harli hates them but there's puns. This is literally pure fluff lol

word count: 1.7K

......

Sophie tugged on their tie and swallowed. “I’m so fucking nervous.”

Amy elbowed her. It was gentle by Amy standards, but it was going to leave a bruise by Sophie standards.

“Relax, Soybean,” she said. “You’ll be fine.”

“What if I trip on the way?”

“Then get up and make sure you don’t crinkle this suit. It cost a fortune. You really went all-out.”

“I just want it to be perfect.”

Because if it wasn’t as perfect as ae was, then what was the point?

Amy rolled her eyes and moved towards the full-length mirror, admiring herself. “I don’t usually wear suits like this, but dang, I look sexy.” She pursed her lips and examined herself from every angle.

Dex placed one hand on Sophie’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly. “You’ll be fine, Sophie. I can guarantee it.”

“What if ae backs out? What if ae thinks we’re just platonic buddies?”

Dex laughed. “I promise you, Soph. Ae loves you romantically as much as you love aer, also romantically.”

Sophie looked up at xem. “How can you be certain?”

“I can see it in aer eyes every time you enter a room.”

Sophie smiled slightly. They could imagine it. It was cute. Then again, everything about Biana was cute.

“Are you ready?” xe asked them.

Fitz did up the final button on his jacket and smiled teasingly. “You better be. You’ve been talking non-stop about this for weeks.”

Sophie laughed. “I’m not ready. But I’m going there anyway. Not much of a choice. It’s all paid for.”

“There’s that can-do attitude,” Amy said sarcastically. “Hurry up, or ae’ll leave you at the altar.”

“Ae won’t leave you at the altar,” Dex reassured them upon seeing their pale face, shooting a glare at Amy. Amy held up her hands in surrender, not looking at all sorry. “But we do need to hurry.”

“Should I tuck in my tails?” Sophie pulled at the tails of the suit jacket.

“You don’t want everyone to think you’re not weird,” Amy said. “That’s basically lying. Dex, gogogo. You’re first.”

Dex kissed Sophie on the forehead. “You’re gonna do great.” Then xe left, Fitz following with awkward finger guns directed at them. He went red and moved away faster.

“Geez, Dexter, this isn’t a spelling bee,” Amy said. “Alright, girlboss. Off you go.” She pursed her lips. “Not a girlboss. A gayboss.”

“Gaslight gatekeep gayboss?” Sophie laughed.

Amy handed Sophie the bouquet. “Gaslight gaetkeep gayboss. Ha! Puns!” She pushed Sophie towards the door. “Now, get out there and gayboss. Kiss some women!”

“Kissing women is something I can’t fuck up in, at least.”

Amy left Sophie with a muttered “you’d be surprised” and a lot of scared thoughts before they were standing in the sun, facing Biana and aer lot.

……

Keefe held a dress up against its body. “I think I look hot. Do you think I look hot?”

“Yes,” Fitz said, at the same time Biana answered, “I think we should change the colour a bit.” They looked at each other.

“You shouldn’t even be here,” Biana said to him.

“I’m your emotional support sibling,” Fitz said. “Here for any hugs you could ever want.”

“You’re bony.”

“And you just stand there stiffly. The perfect blend of pain and uncomfortableness.”

“Lighten up, Vackers,” Maruca said. “Biana, do we really have to wear dresses?”

“We offered to all of you to be either on Sophie’s side with the suits, or my side with the dresses. And you chose accordingly.” Biana looked at her. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Feeling masc right now,” Maruca said. “He/they/ce. And when I’m more masc, I feel… bleugh, in dresses. You feel?”

Biana didn’t get much dysphoria, which was something that seemed to constantly confuse aer brother, who had loads. “Nope. I do not feel. Nor do I understand your dysphoric struggles.”

“I feel,” Fitz said. “And yeah, it’s painful having to do that. I’m sure we can get a suit for you and choose which side you’re on.”

“You can swap with Amy, if you need to be over there,” Biana suggested.

“Or you can go naked,” Stina said.

“I’m not going naked,” Maruca said flatly.

Keefe picked up another dress and compared them. “You want to see Maruca naked? That’s a bit gay.”

Stina didn’t show any sign of embarrassment. “I don’t get off on nudity. Or anything, for that matter.”

“Ah, right. Sorry. I will not allow my allosexual ignorance to show again.”

“Good.”

Biana laughed.

Keefe turned to face the overall group. “The one on the left or the one on the right?” It held each up as it spoke. “The one on the left I think is prettier, but it also shows off quite a bit of cleavage, and I don’t want to take Sophie’s gaze away from the wife-to-be.” It winked. “This other one is more my colour, but it has lace. Lace, Bee. Do you know —”

“Yes, Keefe, I know about your issues with lace,” Biana sighed. “Wear the one that shows your tits. Sophie’s not going to be looking at you.”

“Dex and Fitz are,” Maruca muttered. Fitz’s face went bright red, and he tore his eyes away from Keefe.

Keefe didn’t look at all ashamed. “Well, it’s their rights as dating me. I’d stare at their tits, too, if they had any.”

Fitz’s face returned to its normal colour. “You know not-binding gives me dysphoria.”

“I do know that. I wasn’t shaming you for it.”

“Sure sounded like it.”

“Keep your bickering for when I’m not here,” Biana sighed. “You’re gonna make my ears bleed.”

Fitz muttered an apology. Keefe didn’t look ashamed. Keefe never seemed to be ashamed of anything.

“So, what colours are we going for?” Stina asked. “Like, I know we’re all in blue, but what about that lot? And the whole thing? Is it just all blue?”

“That lot are in red,” Biana supplied. “And… we have an idea of the whole thing. But it’s all hush-hush.”

Keefe wrapped its arms around Stina’s neck and pressed one finger to her lips. “You heard the woman. Hushies.”

Stina slapped it.

……

Sophie watched Dex and Fitz walk forward. Fitz’s face went bright red at the sight of Keefe in its dress. Sophie didn’t feel the same. They’d gotten over their fleeting crush on “the Keefester” all the way back in middle school. Also, tits in general were kind of average. Demisexual moment, they supposed.

Amy gently (Amy standards gentle) shoved Sophie forward. They stumbled slightly but straightened quickly, making sure no one had seen. Their adoptive parents, Grady and Edaline Ruewen, waved at them. Grady was crying. Edaline poked her tongue out cheekily.

Sophie stepped forward, trying not to stare at Biana in aer dress too much. Ae was… ae was breathtaking. Ae was also not even attempting to hide the fact that ae was staring. Maruca (who was wearing a pronoun pin on their dress that said “they/she”) reached around Keefe and gently punched aer, saying something Sophie couldn’t hear. Ae smacked them back.

Sophie stumbled three more times and fell flat on their face once more (was the walkway thing really that long? How did they overlook that design flaw? They hate walking), just as they had feared. Take that, Amy. Imagine being wrong.

Sophie stepped up next to Biana. Keefe rested its chin on their shoulder.

“Hi,” it whispered as the ceremony started. “I like how you put Biana’s lot on your side. Contrasting the blue with the red.”

Sophie shushed it. It pulled back and mussed up their hair.

They read out their stuff. Biana told the story of how they met. Sophie hated that day. All they wanted was a haircut, but noo, they had to have the prettiest girl they’d ever seen as their hairdresser and accidentally make the entire interaction NSFW. They were acespec, for goodness sake!! How could they slip up like that!

Sophie, like the cringe-fail nerd that they were, announced they had a poem, before proceeding to read out a limerick. They wouldn’t be able to remember the limerick later, but they would remember the way Biana’s eyes lit up as ae doubled over laughing.

The ceremony continued with more talking Sophie didn’t pay much attention to. Keefe nudged them after the limerick and praised them to the skies. Quietly.

“You look nice,” Biana said towards the end.

“Thank you. You also look nice,” Sophie responded

Biana nodded. “This is a little awkward.”

Sophie nodded. “Oh, by the way, you still owe me a blowjob from when we first met.”

Biana let go of Sophie’s hands to cover aer mouth, but Sophie could still hear aer laughter. “Sexually attracted to me, are you, Foster?”

“No, but maybe one day. I thought it was funny.”

“It was a bit. Not gonna bang me on our wedding night?”

“We can watch gay movies instead.”

“I might be allosexual, but that sounds so fucking good.”

Sophie smiled.

“And now,” the officiator said, “you may kiss the —” she paused. “Shit. Bride? Groom?”

“Depends who you’re talking to,” Sophie said. “If you’re talking to me, you could say wife. Biana’s female.”

“I’m talking to aer, though. And you’re nonbinary, right?” Sophie nodded.

“Well, is there a neutral term for bride or groom?” Dex said from beside Amy.

“I’m only here because you’re paying me,” the officiator said. “I literally have no clue.”

“You may now kiss the… lesbian?” Biana suggested.

“I’m bi,” Sophie said.

“You may now kiss the bisexual person doesn’t have quite the same ring to it,” Keefe piped up.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Stina muttered. “Shut the fuck up and kiss already! I want my vodka.”

“Yeah,” the officiator said, staring at Stina with a frown. “That.”

And Sophie laughed, and Biana laughed too, and then Sophie leaned down slightly, shut the fuck up as Stina had so kindly phrased, and kissed aer. And ae kissed them back.

“I love you,” ae murmured against their lips. And Sophie responded in the same starstruck tone, winding their arms around aer waist, as Dex cheered, and Amy told Stina she could have her vodka, and Maruca muttered “finally” and went off to find their other partners, and Grady cried harder, and Keefe shouted “bit gay, innit”, and confetti and glitter exploded around them, coating them both in every shade of purple.

And neither of them had ever been happier than they had in that moment.

#sophiana #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #happy birthday to jordi and your art is coming soon!!!

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wings-of-flying · 1 year

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3 and 28? :3

3 - a specific colour that gives you the ick

it's constantly changing, but like neon yellow and green. bleugh. gross

28 - last meal on earth

chicken and mushroom pie. or ramen. can't decide. one of those two. with cheesecake as pudding

#hmmm hungry now #luckily it's nearly lunch #albatross answers #ask games

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jjsanguine · 4 months

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I wanted to buy a pin loom so I could make jumpers without exploding the ligaments in my hands or having to cut a bunch of the yarn as is necessary with something like a tapestry loom. I want to make my own clothes because I just cannot find what I'm looking for and also because I need another hobby apart from watching TV. My brain is not what it used to be and I need something to do on days where I can't follow plots.

Wooden pin looms cost big big money for their size and plastic ones are cheaper, but I've never been a plastic girly you know? Teenage me would rather have died than use acrylic (bleugh) or cast anything out of resin. 3D printers are on thin ice.

So I'm going to use my ⅓ of a degree to nail panel pins at home myself. I haven't done any wood working in several years, which is why it took me a while to decide upon just making the loom myself.

Wood was my thing all throughout school so 19yo me would have found how I just haven't made anything even as basic as a pin loom unfathomable. I mean I didn't do much woodworking in 2nd year because my school sucked but at the time I figured I'd be doing some kind of job or apprenticeship.

I'm making 3 looms of various sizes because it costs about the same as 1 singular 10×10cm loom, or 4×4 inch because much to my chagrin metric has not reached the crafting world. I get an imperial unit jumpscare every time I want to make something.

I'm using sapele wood (reddish colour) and iroko wood (pale yellow) because three looms will be able to stack and I thought it'd be cute to have the middle loom be a different colour.

Ideally I would have used padauk wood because I used it for my last big project and it's this beautiful red-orange colour that also smelled really nice, but produced sawdust that was low-key poison. So I appreciated the vaguely food like smell from inside a dust mask. probably why I was and am not daunted by the idea of having to wear a face mask to avoid respiratory disease for the rest of my life.

I only need like 500g of wood so my selection of wood species that are common enough for me to be able to buy such a small amount was limited. I was lucky to get iroko wood though. I needed to buy some for woodcarving research.

I'm undecided as to whether I should get brass or stainless steel panel pins. Brass would probably look really nice with this warm toned wood but stainless steel doesn't cost a bajillion pounds. This is the problem with buying ones own materials instead of just using whatever's in the school supply cupboard. Now I'm thinking of options and possibilities.

#yaanin' sanguine

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toyahinterviews · 1 year

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PARKINSON, BBC1, OCTOBER 1981

MICHAEL PARKINSON: First, a young woman whose vocal style could not be more different from that we just heard. Her style is theatrical, some might say bizarre. Her commercial appeal has given her three hit records this year. As an actress she's appeared on stage, screen and television. She was nominated as the Best Newcomer in Films at the Evening Standard Awards in 1980 for her performance as "Miranda" in "The Tempest" But this is the style that gets her into the Top 10 (The video for "Thunder In The Mountains" plays) Ladies and gentlemen, Toyah Willcox! You’ve changed your hairstyle since then TOYAH: Oh yes, I'll take my wig off. It’s my real hair now MICHAEL: That's a new one, is it? TOYAH: It's not new at all. I've had this since I was about 15 years old, seven years MICHAEL: When did you first start experimenting with your appearance?

TOYAH: Well, really it started when I was probably about 11 where I suddenly decided I wasn't going to wear any other colour for the rest of my life except black. And that's because I was just going through depression from growing up. I didn't like being told to wear uniforms at school and things like that So I used to sneak into school in my uniform - with my report card - because I was one of the naughty girls and I used to have to have a report card to say that I turned up and then I used to get changed into all black and I used walk around like a nun (they all laugh) A friend of mine, who is a hairdresser, said “I'll do your hair for free, but you've got to let me do to it whatever I want to do”. And I said, oh, okay. The first experiment he did was he shaved the back of my head and it didn't go down well at all with my mother MICHAEL: I bet it didn’t!

TOYAH: Not at all! I had a great pointed fringe and I've got naturally black hair, which I don't like at all so I decided to dye it pink. And my mother almost killed me that day MICHAEL: What was the effect that you had on the populace though - apart from your mum and dad - when you walked down the street with with a bald patch and all that? TOYAH: It was frightening. The bald patch came at a time when I was at drama school. I used to have to catch the bus to school every morning and I'd stand there all innocently smiling, being a nice person at the bus stop but I just happen to look like a freak. So the bus drivers - you’d put your hand out and you just saw them waving goodbye. They’d just go "goodbye" … and they’d be another finger involved ... DAVE ALLEN (guest on the show): Do you find people have made up their mind about you before because of your appearance? TOYAH: They could see me from miles away DAVE: Even now – do you feel people . . . ? TOYAH: They expect me to be instantly aggressive. They expect ignorance and perversity and so on. Like bleugh . . . just (for me) to be really horrible

MICHAEL: But what was the reason though? Why you decide to adopt this - TOYAH: Quite simply I don't like the natural colour of my hair. I think mentally I'm a brightly coloured person. So I thought if you're going to dye your hair why the hell dye it blonde or something? Why not be honest about it and dye it your favourite colour MICHAEL: You said that you were trouble at school - you went to a private school, to a Church of England School? TOYAH: Yes MICHAEL: You came from a very respectable middle class background - TOYAH: I am respectable I’ll have you know! (they all laugh) MICHAEL: She’s not aggressive, is she? (jokingly, they all laugh) Your parents were quite well off, weren’t they?

TOYAH: Oh yes. It was a typical middle class family (Toyah with her dad Beirc, below). I had really a very strict upbringing. I wasn't allowed out on my own until I was about 10 years old. I wasn't allowed to talk to the kids in the street because they had Birmingham accents and at that time I was talking like (puts on a posh accent) “Mommy, could have some sweeties, please?” I was just incredibly naive. It was my first experiences in the outside world that made me realise how protected I was I was genuinely quite shocked that each time I went on a bus with my school boater on (the school uniform hat) the girls from the other schools wanted to hit me. They were so aggressive towards me because they thought oh, she talks posh, parents have got money and they really disliked me for it. And that disturbed me greatly. When I first discovered sort of the class system, I just wanted to get out of that school

DAVE: Was there a conscious effort to join the other people? TOYAH: I didn't want to be judged by my parents property or by the colour of the uniform I wore. I wanted to be judged because I was me MICHAEL: It seems that you must have been an outsider not only outside school, but inside school? TOYAH: I was definitely an outsider. I had an incredibly bad lisp. I used to stutter, and I wasn't clever with words whatsoever. I was also very fat. The school bullies, who would come up to me, and they were quick with words, and I sort of just would stand there and go I want to get them back and I used to get so frustrated I just used to burst out crying And one day, after spending many years treading school every day, because I used to get bumped a lot and pushed around, I thought I just can't take this anymore. I'm going to jump out of a window or I'm going to kill someone. So I walked into the classroom to two particular girls jeering at me. And I sort of (puts her first up) yeah, come on then ... and I just snapped and picked up the chair and wolloped her DAVE: And you were fat at the time? So there was a lot of weight behind it? (they all laugh)

TOYAH: Yeah! But the sad thing was I had to do it that way. I couldn't do it with words. I disagree with that kind of violence greatly. But ever since that day, I was never picked on again. And I was the girl that everyone came to to sort other people out DAVE: I think that actually happens. I think where you're put to a point where all you can do is go forward - TOYAH: I was so frightened DAVE: People tend to leave you alone because you're breaking the rules. I remember getting chased by three kids and I thought what am I doing? I saw a big stick on the ground so I picked it up and I ran back towards them and they scattered because what was I doing?

MICHAEL: You’re the hardman. How did you in fact get into the business? Was that an ambition when you were at school?

TOYAH: Oh, it was an ambition. It started at a very early age, at about nine years. I was a dreadful liar at school. I was so bored the whole time. I just used to tell lies such as sorry I'm late, my mother got eaten by a shark (they all laugh) I used to get people buying presents because they thought I was leaving school the next week to go make a movie. And it kept the whole of this nine to five syndrome exciting because I hate that kind of timetable, that schedule I like to be totally unpredictable. I wanted to act and sing, I wanted to do both. But the greatest thing I wanted to do was sing. The reason I wanted to do that is because I was such a nervous child that I couldn't even sing in a choir. It meant so much to me that my voice would go and I'd shake and everything. I was quite a pathetic kid really. I went to drama school every weekend from the age of 14 upwards and when I left school with my one O Level, I went to drama school full time I was so well known in Birmingham because I looked like a freak. I mean to me I didn't look like a freak. To me I was just a nice colourful person, but so everyone in Birmingham I was either a prostitute, a mass murderer, or a complete hippie. It was just unbelievable. But my first break came when a director called called Nick Bicât was trying to find someone to cast in play

It was a half hour play for the BBC and he wanted a newcomer who could sing and he couldn't find anyone in London apparently so he came up to Birmingham and was asking around "do you know any sort of young girl that stands out in a crowd?" (Dave laughs, Toyah pokes her tongue at him) And the wardrobe department at the BBC, who knew me because I used to do extra work there to help get a bit of money for drama school, suggested me and the director came to see me and I got the job MICHAEL: And then of course you got the into the National Theatre very early on. How did you fit into the National Theatre looking like -

TOYAH: I’ve got to say it was wonderful. I don't like the building very much because it looks the same. It's all corridors and I used to keep getting lost. You'd run off stage for a quick change and find you're on the wrong floor. And you go which floor am I on and you could never find out until you found someone and said "excuse me, could you tell me where I am?" And you'd get a witty answer like "you're in the National Theatre" (they all laugh) You'd always be late for your cues on stage I was the youngest in the company. The loudest in the company. I think in the National Theatre, you're supposed to be a woman. You're supposed to have etiquette and to be silent until you're spoken to. But I instead was running around screaming at the top of my voice and being very vulgar because I am quite a vulgar person when I’m happy. My dressing room, I shared it with six other girls You used to look out into this well, all the dressing rooms aren't sort of surrounded and you could look up to the wardrobe department and scream for your dresser or you could look across to the next dressing room and watch the men get undressed. They used to do the same with us

Next door to us was Sir John Gielgud. And one day I was very late, the clocks went back and I forgot about it and I was late for the performance. I opened my window and shouted “where's my (bleep) dresser??!” I was really panicking and I was going “come down here for God's sake and help me!” And I got this phone call and I picked up the phone and there’s this very very posh voice on the other end and he said “excuse me, miss Willcox - did you know this is the National Theatre?” I went “of course I know it’s the National Theatre!” and I was looking across to see if one of the men were phoning me And he said, “well, this isn't a zoo. So could you stop acting like an animal please, Miss Willcox. You're in the National Theatre”. I was about to swear down the phone. I was going oh come off it! Who is this? And there's no men on the phone in the dressing rooms opposite and I suddenly realised it was Sir John and I went as white as a sheet and I thought my God, what am I going to do and I just went I'm very sorry and I put the phone down and I never shouted again in the National after that day

DAVE: The ghost of Sir John hovering - TOYAH: Yeah! He's the sort of person you instantly respect MICHAEL: What about the things that run side by side in your life? The actress - you work in the National, you’ve done Shakespeare, you shoot movies and that sort of thing and then the pop star. Is there a conflict in your life about the two? TOYAH: The only conflict is there's not enough time in the day to everything and I've got to do both. I'm trying to prove desperately that to act you don't have to look stereotype. I can look like this and still be an actress. Because I just plunk a wig on my head to hide the hair and everything. I love acting and I love singing but the only conflict is there’s just not enough time MICHAEL: I must confess, to be honest, as the father of young people playing your music . . . I am sort of baffled by its appeal - if I were to be frank … Do you have a purpose, like Dave said, as an entertainer, whose purpose is to entertain and to perhaps instruct people. Do you have that same purpose in your performance?

TOYAH: Oh, yeah. My purpose isn't so much political. There's so many problems in this world and kids are always being reminded that when you leave school there's going to be no work, or you're going to get mugged in the streets or something. I want kids to come along to my concerts and to forget all that. I want them to enjoy themselves. Because no matter how much unemployment (there is) etc etc you can still enjoy life. Life is very valuable I try to put that respect, that self-respect across to my audience that don't go around beating up black people and things like that. That's not what living is about. Living is about just being very happy and coping and being with each other and helping each other with your own problems. I know what you're getting at. You think the lyrics are very diverse MICHAEL: I think they're quite aggressive, some of them … and despairing TOYAH: I don't sit down to write and think oh, I'm gonna write about this today. I sit down with pen and paper and write the first thing that comes into my head. I find that me being aggressive and abusive to myself on stage gets the tensions out of the kids, and they sit and watch me do that to myself - what they they feel like doing half the time - and it sort of allows them to relax

MICHAEL: Isn't there always a problem of course with this unfortunate group of kids that you say you want to relate to … When they look at you onstage famous, wealthy. Do they disassociate themselves from you because you've got what they -

TOYAH: Oh God - they don't dissociate themselves at all. Number one, I do not put a barrier between me and the audience. Those audiences are - sounds a bit patronising - but they're my brothers and sisters, and I go in among them and I sort of touch them and they touch me, and that communication is so valuable. I'm nothing special. I'm flesh and blood like them. I have the same problems like them. I may be famous, but it doesn't mean you have the money. I just want to communicate with these kids. Get them to forget about all the horrible things MICHAEL: Do you think as you get older that the rebellious streak will soften? TOYAH: Oh God! I hope not! MICHAEL: You will be middle-aged with with a mortgage? TOYAH: Put it this way: I suddenly became famous this year and I've aged 20 years this year and it shows because the workload is much heavier. I don't think I will conform any more than I have. I've only conformed to sell more records really so I can keep the band going and that to me it's not too bad a sellout because that means I've got money to make albums, which I can be diverse on. If I ever have children it will be when I'm in my 30s I suppose … but I really would pity them because I get bored of things so quickly (they all laugh) MICHAEL and DAVE talk over each other

MICHAEL: Don’t change the hair on your head. Not for the moment anyway. Toyah Willcox, thank you very much indeed

#toyah #toyah interview #toyah 1981 #toyahinterview #toyahbbc #toyah bbc #toyah1981 #toyah willcox #toyahwillcox

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