#the future... it's terrifying and i don't like it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

patchwork-crow-writes · 2 days

Text

I just realised something about Rouxls Kaard that's... kinda blown my mind a little.

It always struck me as so odd, how confident he was that we wouldn't be able to beat his "puzzles" in Chapter 1. You know, the ones where you push a block one or two spaces onto a switch. He seems so sure that he has thwarted the Fun Gang, and is genuinely flabbergasted when it's solved in a matter of seconds. The whole thing's set up like a joke - haha, look at how stupid this poser looks, thinking he's outsmarted us with such a basic puzzle we've seen thousands of times before. Honestly, I didn't give it much thought afterwards, aside from the odd titter.

But then I learned about the concept of the Magic Circle - the contract entered into by a game and its player(s) that binds them to follow the rules of that game in order to participate, and ultimately win or lose. For this to work, a set of rules need to be agreed upon beforehand, whether that's by the game telling you what they are, the players coming up with their own, or memorising them through repetition and familiarity.

Now, us gamers have seen block-pushing puzzles like these hundreds, if not thousands of times before, so we already know what the premise of RK's puzzle is - push the block onto the switch. We don't even have to think about it for more than one second before we've fully understood the terms of the "game" we've engaged with him, and trounce it with minimal effort.

So guess what we also don't think about? The fact that Rouxls Kaard does not ever explain what the puzzle actually IS, much less what the rules of the puzzle are. And this is why he seems so damn smug about his "Ultimate" puzzles - because he assumes that we don't know what those rules are, and so will flounder around at a complete loss, and at his complete mercy.

(he also doesn't account for trial-and-error, apparently...?)

Now, this establishes something terrifying - Rouxls is under absolutely NO obligation to tell the participants of his puzzles what the rules of those puzzles actually are. And that's fine when you're dealing with something as rudimentary and ubiquitous as a block-pushing puzzle, but scale up the complexity even slightly and this self-aggrandising Duke of Puzzles could very well become an absolute menace. Which makes me a little concerned about his appearances in future chapters.

And if he ends up becoming a secret boss... then God help us all.

#rambling #deltarune #Rouxls Kaard #meta #theory #analysis

116 notes · View notes

kfedup · 2 days

Text

Regretsy no more

Hey, y'all. It's the lurker here.

I've been in the funkiest of funkless funks for the past few months and over the past few weeks, I've been unpacking why. Seeing how much I'm isolating because of a constellation of health-related issues and generalized depression. Have been considering trying meds. But one thing keeps coming to the surface and I finally decided it's time to deal with it.

The one thing is the only thing in my life that I regret. That thing is never having finished my bachelor's degree.

I'm twice divorced, have lost several important friendships, and moved more times than I can count to places I didn't really want to live to maintain relationships I should have never entered in the first place, but I wouldn't trade any of those things. I don't feel regret about them. Why would I? I discovered who I am and who I am not because I experienced those things. Each of them allowed me to learn how to repair what's possible and how to let go of that which is complete.

I'm very good at this marketing copywriting work but I'm bored senseless. I want to challenge myself and taking online workshops is fine but it's just more interacting through a screen and lord love a duck, my spirit needs more. Plus, I am not using my gifts of communication, empathy, mirroring, and holding space for others in the way I know I am meant to use them. For two years I've felt like I'm wasting what's left of my life.

I am so afraid I will die full of this regret.

The cost has kept me from pulling the trigger on this dream for several years. I wish I started sooner, but clearly, I wasn't miserable enough yet. I'm well and truly stuck in the muck at the bottom of the lake about it now. There's nothing left to do but swim to the surface, so here I go.

Today I applied as a transfer student to the Psychology program at Kent State University to start classes this summer. It will probably take me 3 years to finish the 2 years I have left because I'm a single-income household and will have to work. I'm terrified I won't be able to manage both, but I hope I can rally.

I'm not sure if I'll continue on to get the Psych MA at KSU or go elsewhere to get an MA in Art Therapy after I finish the BA. I also want to get certified in Internal Family Systems therapy, so I'll be 63ish or older starting a new career as a therapist and I feel excited about my future for the first time in... well... I don't even know. A very long time.

I want a career that feels meaningful to me, helps people instead of businesses, and lets me use my gifts. One I can do until I'm dead because I'mma need to work until they're spreading my ashes.

I plan to take a class this summer to dip my toes in.

Holy shit, y'all. Lila will be a senior and I will be a junior on the same campus. She's so supportive and I've been crying happy-scared-overwhelmed-curious-excited tears all day.

Kelly's going back to college. Holy shit.

#it's been 35 years #that's a hell of a gap #my student loan debt can fucking die with me #no more thinking about it #time to grab it by the balls and swing

61 notes · View notes

whumpsday · 1 day

Text

3 whumpy anime to check out this spring!

Go Go Loser Ranger is a heroes vs. villains anime where the villains are the good guys and the heroes are downright evil. Having wiped out all the powerful monsters more than a decade ago, the heroes keep the weakest monsters captive, to parade around and torment on a weekly basis while the public believes otherwise. Because they're immortal when hit with most weapons, they'll always reform to be hurt over and over again, despite feeling all the pain.

Footsoldier D is one of those weak monsters, an immortal shapeshifter made of dust, called a "duster". After escaping the heroes' arena, he forms a plan to kill the heroes and steal the few weapons they have that can permanently kill dusters, freeing the rest of his kind. Given that he has the constitution of a porcelain doll, he can't use strength to fight: he has to rely on wits, stealth, shapeshifting (despite knowing very little about humans or the outside world), and a shaky alliance with a double-agent ranger who seems to be taking advantage of him for her own gain.

Whump tags: villain whumpee, hero whumper, immortal whumpee

Watch it on Hulu, Disney+, or any unofficial anime site.

And if you don't have time to check out a whole anime, the Go Go Loser Ranger opening theme video is also really good, with fantastic visuals symbolizing D's struggles!

An Archdemon's Dilemma is a romantic comedy stuffed to the brim with popular whump tropes. Zagan is a demonic sorcerer who attends an auction for the possessions of another recently-killed sorcerer, when he sees that one of those "possessions" is an elf slave, Nephelia. Having had a destitute, harsh past himself, he feels a rush of sympathy and buys her way out, vowing to ensure her safety. However, Nephelia is terrified, believing she's about to be used as a sacrifice in a dark magic ritual. And unfortunately for both of them, Zagan is a socially awkward loser who sucks at communicating.

It's surreal seeing something that looks like it could be a caretaker-new-master whump fic as an actual, fully-realized anime. It definitely doesn't take itself too seriously despite the premise, leaning heavily on the "comedy" part of romantic comedy, and is mostly just a silly time with lots of whump-adjacent stuff thrown in. Fanfic-y to the point of "there's only one bed" being an actual line.

Whump tags: fantasy slavery (very pet-whump-esque in its tropes), caretaker new master

Watch it on Crunchyroll or any unofficial anime site.

The Grimm Variations is an anthology of horror retellings of several Brothers Grimm fairy tales. With each episode being written and directed by different people, it varies wildly in quality, with episodes ranging from laughably bad to incredibly good, but I'm here to talk about episode 2: Little Red Riding Hood.

The Little Red Riding Hood takes place in a dystopian future where the upper and middle class use virtual reality technology to augment their reality. One man, Grey, is tired of this and craves the real: specifically, the feeling of real blood spraying him as he murders countless women, his wealth and connections protecting him from consequences. But when this serial killer makes the mistake of targeting a woman called Scarlet, he finds himself on the other side of the knife. This episode is a complete and utter gorefest with multiple onscreen torture scenes.

This isn't even my favorite episode of the series, it's like my 3rd favorite. But episode 2 is the one with the gruesome torture scene, so it's the one that goes in this post.

Little Red Riding Hood whump tags: whumper-turned-whumpee, torture, gore

Little Red Riding Hood warnings: sexual assault, eye gore, fingernail gore, violence against women, major character death

Watch it on Netflix or any unofficial anime site. Orrrr if you just wanna watch the big torture scene without any of the context, it's on Youtube.

that's all I have for now :)

(P.S: Dungeon Meshi, while not really whumpy as a whole, is also currently airing and very very good and I might write whump fanfic for it at some point in the near future. Netflix or any unofficial anime site.)

49 notes · View notes

dootznbootz · 8 hours

Note

that WHO in no longer u oh my GOD

YESSSS

Like, yeah, Odysseus is like "Yandere" (joking but also not) because kills all who even go near Penelope and Telemachus and he's very protective of them AND jealous.

But I think this "WHO?!" is also a desperate plea as to who is this dangerous man who is near his wife? A warlord? A conquerer? A man who would not even care about Penelope for who she is and mistreats her?

Because even in the Odyssey, Odysseus asks about Penelope to his mother.

Tell me of the wife I married. What are her thoughts and plans? Is she still there with our son, keeping watch on everything? Or has she been married to the finest of Achaeans?

(Book 11, Johnston)

There's not even much resentment in his question. There could be but Narrator does not say. The use of "the finest of Achaeans" almost is a "Did she at least marry the best man? Did she at least marry a GOOD man?"

In "No Longer You", when he hears of this dangerous man NEAR his wife, he is SCARED. It could be jealousy but I feel it's more of concern. As it is in the Odyssey.

"I understand if she would remarry, it pains me but I did tell her that when Telemachus finally grows his beard, she could. I will love her always but is she at least happy? Is she safe?"

And she's not safe. She's not happy. He is terrified.

Psst. The reason why My Odysseus takes a long time to grow his beard is because of that line. He's hoping that his son will take after him and take forever to grow a beard like he did (as he doesn't really have one even when he first leaves for Troy) because he would try forever to get home. Penelope even teases him that he still doesn't have one so that's a silly request and that's the point. "I will never stop trying to come back to you. He and I will likely remain beardless forever." (it's a little funky for him when he finally grows one by the end of Troy. He's thinking "...Shit. Telemachus, stay baby-faced for your dad please.")

ANYWAYS.

I mean we all know that these two are obsessed with each other in the Odyssey and in Epic. They are likeminded and are so integral to who they are. They mean everything to one another. I think Odysseus genuinely does want Penelope happy. As even in the Odyssey with him simply asking for another bed, shows how much he loves and respects her. He could've been like "get in it" even though she had rejected him at first but he LISTENS BECAUSE HE LOVES HER. Only breaking down into a sobbing mess when he believes she destroyed their bed.

"Heaven made you as you are, but for sheer obstinacy you put all the rest of your sex in the shade. No other wife could have steeled herself to keep so long out of the arms of a husband she had just got back after nineteen years of misadventure. Well, nurse, make a bed for me to sleep alone in. For my wife's heart is just about as hard as iron."

(Book 23, Rieu)

Please note that this is his attempt to insult her in a way and yet he still talks about her being from Heaven 👀 SIMP

But even though he's deeply hurt by her rejection (poor guy would've probably sobbed himself to sleep) He still asks for another bed. After sleeping on the floor and in the dirt since he's been on Ithaca, refusing beds unless it's his own marriage bed, he takes her 'no' because he values her happiness and comfort over his own. He takes a lesser bed so she can still sleep in their own luxurious one.

I mean we know how fucking awful the suitors are. Hold Them Down is a disturbing song. (as it should be. As they are not good men) He does not even know how bad these men are yet. If his future self could speak with his past self, he'd probably be like "Yeah, don't worry about the guy who kills a bunch of people, they had it coming. ;) " or something.

That "WHO?!" is a mix of jealousy AND fear.

#I'm sorry y'all I'm so exhausted as I've had a lot of shit happen and oof #so this is messy but I hope I got my point across lol #epic the musical #epic the underworld saga #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #no longer you #my headcanons #ask #anon #penelope #odysseus #odypen #essay

47 notes · View notes

sparkles-rule-4eva · 5 hours

Text

Alrighty! @number-one-shadisper-shipper and I binged the Knuckles series today, so time for thoughts! SPOILER ALERT.

I'll admit the show wasn't perfect. I've seen the negative reviews, and I kinda get where they come from. BUT! I did enjoy this show greatly! And I'm not here to complain. Time for some happy thoughts, y'all! 💙🤩

I think you need to have a love, not just tolerance, for the SCU in order to properly enjoy this show. I do have such, so I had a lot of fun with it.

There were definitely scenes from every episode that had me either squealing, laughing, crying, or flipping out. But my favorite was likely the first episode, because come on, we saw the Wachowski family! Most of them, anyway! While I missed Tom's presence, I was grateful for that comment from Maddie about him being "out of town," so he wasn't just gone for no reason.

The SECOND it showed our three space babies hanging out together in their room?! I SCREAMED. THE BOYS!!!!

Tails sitting on his bed tinkering with one of his gizmos, Sonic rocking out to music with an air guitar, and Knuckles exercising from one of the ceiling planks. IT'S THEM!!! They're just hanging out, doing their thing, looking oh so much like brothers. And Sonic's narration at the beginning was GOLD. 🤣💙

Even though we didn't get enough of Maddie being a parent, we definitely got a nice chunk for it only lasting part of an episode. Maddie called Knuckles "one of our kids" (that had me SCREECHING). The angry mama vibes were GOLDEN. 🤣 The way she made breakfast for them, the "Boys, breakfast is ready!" I love the normalcy of it! Can't wait to see more in the future! (Her calling to them with "boys" is somehow just the sweetest thing and I'm melting.)

The poor mailman being like "I just wanna go home, man" 🤣

We were right, fellas, Knuckles had no idea what being grounded meant. 🤣 Although the way Sonic piped up with "Oh, I definitely know what it means," has me suspecting that Sonic himself has gotten grounded a decent amount before. 😂

Knuckles trying to talk back, and Maddie going, "ExCUSE ME?!" then just making those tiny, terrifying noises and Sonic being like "Bro don't mess with Mom when she's mad" (okay, he didn't say "mom" and that made me sad, but the mom vibes were 110% there so I'm here for it). 😂 And since Knuckles snuck out and later Wade said, several times, "Aren't you grounded?" seems to confirm that this entire show is basically what Knuckles does when he's grounded. 🤣 Although ... his comment about not being able to be grounded because he had no home made me very sad. 😭

I did not have an issue with so much Wade screentime! Sure, he isn't my favorite SCU character, but I love what this show did with him! I'd already seen his moments in the movies (like nearly shooting Robotnik in the face with an actual handgun). I like how they gave him actual family issues; a dad who abandoned him and his family, a realistic sister, a mom. Bad family memories. Awkward reunions. They could've made it a joke, but they didn't, and I greatly appreciate that. Especially since I've witnessed firsthand how painful family separations can be. 😔

All the emotional talks Wade and Knuckles had caught me off guard in the best way! The way they talked about their different family issues, the way they talked of betrayal from friends, and being left alone, hit way harder than I was prepared for. Especially that talk they had at the burger place in the middle of the night? Oof. Good talk right there.

Also, even though they took a "show don't tell" take with it, I loved how Knuckles relaxed more and more throughout the show. In the beginning, he couldn't rest, he couldn't sit back and have a genuine good time. But the more he hung out with Wade and his family, the more he learned. He learned about music and found "his jam" (that was literally amazing btw). He watched movies with Mrs. Whipple and ate snacks in the hotel room in Reno and watched more movies. He had his teenager moments of rolling his eyes and rebelling, but he was so well portrayed here, I loved it. I felt for him.

Despite the bizarre nature of the episode "Flames of Disaster," (we were cracking up so hard) I'm trying to glean bits of the truth of Knuckles's story from the crazy musical play that Pachacamac put on in Wade's dream. I mean, "Longclaw" and her tribe were there, and ... what the heck was that giant demon thing?! Iblis?! Does our Knuckles Wachowski have an actual history with freaking Iblis?!?! 😱🔥

I was deeply intrigued by the two main antagonists, especially at the implication that G.U.N. did seem to exist before the events of the first movie?! Did it exist, get disbanded after the Maria incident, then get reformed?! My brain is exploding. 🤯 I was even more shocked that they apparently died? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, the Wachowski kids don't seem to have much qualms about getting rid of the baddies for good as the game versions do. That was a terrifying phenomenon, what happened with the two rings. 🫣

And then the Buyer getting crushed by the giant glass ball 👀

Although in those last two episodes, I admit I was freaking out and legitimately near tears at Wade's seemingly having to "betray" Knuckles. Before the reveal that all was in good communication, all I could think was how relaxed Knuckles finally seemed, chilling in the hotel room, being excited about whatever Wade wanted to "show" him, questioning whether it was a song, him declaring that he was going to bring his favorite hat, 🥹 all I could think was of their previous discussions about betrayal from friends and family, and when Knuckles called Wade "my friend" right before the elevator doors closed, I just about sobbed. I was like "please, don't let him be betrayed, don't let him have come all this way and relaxed so much only to get 'betrayed' once again by someone he's come to consider a friend." 😭 We heaved a HUGE sigh of relief when it revealed he was aware of the trap the whole time. 😪

Maternal instincts went nuts when he got so badly hurt in that final battle 😭 I literally reached for the screen several times and was right back to almost weeping 🥲 And someone tell me I wasn't the only one noticing the parallel in that scene with Wade standing in front of his unconscious body the way Tom did with Sonic in the first movie. That, PLUS Knuckles's epic comeback, and his retrieval of his own power?!?! EPIC!!!!

The ending was abrupt, sure, but the pure joy on Knuckles's face after everything as he jumped up to high five Wade was just too sweet. 🥹

So yes, even though I would have loved just a little more, a return to Green Hills, a reunion with Maddie, Sonic, and Tails, I adored this show. It was a wild ride, full of laughs, tears, excited screeching, etc. 💙💛❤️ I don't care what anyone says, nothing will make me hate it.

30 notes · View notes

14dyh · 13 hours

Text

list of my saved youtube videos that Hange would watch:

A/N: someone watch this nerdy stuff with me pls, i'll go insane. need a hange for myself :') currently watching these videos to feed my nerdy hange delusions :D [i marked my faves with an (*) hehe]

short videos (10-30 minutes)

The Nightmares of Eduardo Valdés-Hevia

The Creatures of Codex Inversus

Nietzsche's Most Dangerous Idea | The Übermensch

Don't fear intelligent machines. Work with them | Garry Kasparov

* Decomposing Bodies to Solve Cold Case Murders

Glow-in-the-dark sharks and other stunning sea creatures | David Gruber

* You Will Never Do Anything Remarkable

* The Cognitive Tradeoff Hypothesis

* Inspiring the next generation of female engineers | Debbie Sterling | TEDxPSU

The Disturbing Paintings of Hieronymus Bosch

Roko's Basilisk: The Most Terrifying Thought Experiment

The 5 Most Dangerous Chemicals on Earth

Depth Charge Explosion Soaks Dr. Tatiana In Water

Monster Surgeon: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black

The Biology of Giants Explained | The Science of Giants

I Made an Ecosystem With a Mini Pond Inside, Here’s How!

CSI Special Insects Unit: Forensic Entomology

not-so-short but under 1 hr (31-59 minutes)

* The unpredictable tale of The Dead Man's Story by J. Hain Friswell

Planets: The Search for a New World | Space Science | Episode 4 | Free Documentary

* Let's Visit the World of the Future [tw: might be a bit disturbing, it's an interesting scifi horror though]

The Mystery of Matter: “INTO THE ATOM” (Documentary)

* Australia's Deadliest Coast (Full Episode) | When Sharks Attack: There Will Be Blood

* How Leonardo da Vinci Changed the World

long videos (over 1 hr)

Demystifying the Higgs Boson with Leonard Susskind

* The complete FUN TO IMAGINE with Richard Feynman

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962) Colorized | Sci-Fi Horror | Cult Classic | Full Movie

* AlphaGo - The Movie | Full award-winning documentary

Particle Fever - Documentary

* Exploring The Underwater World | 4K UHD | Blue Planet II | BBC Earth

What was the Earth like in the Age of Giant Prehistoric Creatures? | Documentary Earth History

27 notes · View notes

thebigchips · 3 months

Text

He had a long day at school

#and was kinda beaten #don't wake him up sh #tallest red #my art #invader zim #almighty tallest #elite red #sometimes when I have holidays I think when I come home from university early I have time to draw #and I wonder why I don’t #and then uni resumes and im like #ah. right #all I want is to sleep #besides this is my last semester and i am terrified of the future

105 notes · View notes

chloecherrysip · 11 months

Text

Mario watching his and Luigi's commercial in Punch-Out Pizzeria

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #mario and luigi #super mario bros #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie spoilers #cherrysip edits #if you got notifications about gifs from this set yesterday shhhhhhh i was having PROBLEMS #anyway i'm currently working on a gifset for the whole scene of mario getting back up in the pizzeria but then I HAD THIS IDEA #and i was like 'wow that sounds like a comparison that's going to cause me emotional pain' and i was right it absolutely did :) :) :)#[gesturing wildly to gifs while tears stream down my face] U DON'T UNDERSTAND MARIO IS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE BOTH TIMES #the first time he's nervous but also SO excited and happy about what the future is gonna bring and seeing this commercial is #the culmination of everything he and luigi have been striving for and they're holding each other tight and the world feels wide open #and the second time everything is different. mario has been beaten down. he is terrified and aching and exhausted and convinced #that everyone has been right about him. he's a joke. he's a failure. the only thing he's ever done for his brother is drag him down.#but then he sees the commercial and everything comes back. the joy and the excitement and him and luigi against the world #the only difference is that he doesn't have his brother next to him and that's everything. mario doesn't feel whole otherwise #mario always does his best but when he and luigi are together working in sync he truly feels like anything is possible #and now his brother is out there somewhere in the chaos and bowser isn't gonna stop. he's gotta get up again. he does get up again.#IT'S A LOT BASICALLY. IT'S A WHOLE LOT AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY

274 notes · View notes

marathedemonoverlord · 9 months

Text

So I think I'm over my Obey Me Phase or like at least over Nightbringer because it's Season was shit but just you know food for thought...

Aint it funny how MC is now completely isolated from other humans/their friends/family/pets?

Like my friend and I were talking about it and like imagine MC has HUMAN/MORTAL family and friends that they talk to every time they were separated from the brothers. Like whenever the Immortals really tries them or pushes them they can go to their human friends for like a palate cleanser and a clear head/remind themselves and ground them to the reality of their situation/support from NOT blind lemmings. Like sort of remind them that they're still human and not on the same playing field as immortal Demons/Angels/Sorcerers

But now in Nightbringer that's literally stripped from them; MC has NO ONE outside of the Brothers/Immortals they're literally FORCED to bond with their circle of dysfunctionals and its like now you are stuck in that toxic friend circle because literally your circle of support hasn't been born/exist yet. That's fucking horrific.

No wonder MC is far more clingy and annoying in Nightbringer than they are in OG; Every lesson is a chip away at their original personality and sanity to replace it to the codependent creep MC is now lol.

#obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me MC #obey me nightbringer MC #MC is so fucking annoying this is the only headcanon i can work with #No but like its so creepy because i always imagined MC balanced their human life and their Devildom life to stay rational but now #Well now with no circle of human/mortal supporters like their friends and family theyre literally forced to cling to the brothers #Its so terrifying about Nightbringer thats why Im still so upset we're stuck in the Past #Its shit like this that makes me unable to enjoy Time Travel Shit like I want to go for Boba with my friends but I cant do that #No i cant do that because I got a toxic friend group to babysit #No but like MC seems more stupid and clingy so my guess is theyre mentally unraveling to the point they just dont want to be alone #Like begging for validation and attention from anyone especially the immortals #Pray for MC theyre going into their codependent phase now #Don't worry; just like with real friends theyre not gonna break out of this for years until they get the courage #Which we all know MC doesnt have the balls to drop the brothers/Immortals like bad habits lol #Ima play with this headcanon until MC stops sucking or we go back to the future.#I miss MC's family and friends who have to live with the fact the immortals took them from them again

71 notes · View notes

spaceratprodigy · 2 months

Text

🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤

I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main #so much has happened in these past 10 years #I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future #but I did and I do #I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible #I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return #I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself #I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better #I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like #I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of #I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over #I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder #I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive #and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person #I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore #I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly #he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do #god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me #you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you #it's always been you #I fucking love you #more than anything in this universe and the next #forever and always #my art #glad I listened to my first tag lmao

17 notes · View notes

non-un-topo · 7 months

Text

Kind of obsessed with this nickname actually

#context: chapter 2 of my wip summerwind. 8 or 9 year old nicolo unwillingly receives a prophecy from a leper and it's rather terrifying #the man tells him he will 'fly on red wings for Christ's love'#also this:#'The streets will run rivers of blood and in it you will be baptized anew. Will you feel Christ’s love then boy? I should think not...'#i COULD just share the whole snippet but i'm insecure lol. and it's 700 words. i'll share the whole scene if ppl want but i'm shy #how does the old leper know all of this? idk it's fiction man. he can See it in his Eyes #also the thing about prophecies is that sometimes words like these stick with you for life -#- and your actions after hearing them begin to manifest that kind of future. or something.#yusuf does not get a creepy fortune teller. but he DOES develop a thirst for justice in this chapter #and begins to realize things about the world around him. about injustice and prejudice and expectation.#anyway i feel like i plagiarized 'hell bird'??? but i like it so it's mine now #also i love just sharing awful screenshots of my documents lol i don't know why i do this

42 notes · View notes

isfjmel-phleg · 9 months

Text

Here's the tentative outline of the TSG paper, as okayed by the professor whom I've been discussing the project with:

intro to the trend of recent adaptations/retellings reframing TSG as a story about grief

an assertion that the book is really about healing from childhood e m o t i o n a l n e g l e c t (CEN) (my thesis?)

defining CEN and distinguishing it from traditional grief

an analysis of CEN in the text

how this interacts with what these adaptations/retellings are doing

conclusion about the importance of the text’s depiction of CEN and why it’s worth acknowledging/exploring

It's a relief to pin this down and be able to go into this with some kind of focus. I've already got a start on the first paragraph. I'm trying a method of drafting by just constructing the basic argument and then working in all the evidence and research later. My college papers tended to take forever to write because I drafted them with Finished Perfection in mind for each sentence, which is stressful and easy to get bogged down with. We'll see how it works. The paper needs to be completed by October, probably the end of the month at the very latest, but I'd like to get it finished in enough time to fully polish and not have to stress about a tight deadline.

I can do this. Probably. It's been a few years but I might still have it in me.

#random personal stuff #of course I write mini-essays here all the time!#but those aren't presented as scholarly with proper citations and you guys presumably forgive me if I'm not clever enough #Dr. B. (the one who tried to rope me into that roundtable presentation) is already talking about #trying to get some of my old papers published in a journal #or working on a book #she is so full of enthusiasm and confidence and grandiose ideas that it's both impressive and kind of terrifying #don't know if I really want to do any of these things #I mean even assuming a journal would want my work (which isn't really on that level I think) what would be the point #I used to want to be an academic but lost that after the thesis and everything before that #the last time I was working with a professor who wanted me to do Grand Things...it didn't end well #and of course Dr. B. is nothing like That Man and would not have his motivations #but all the same I don't want to commit to anything on this level for the foreseeable future #I'm just writing a paper so I can present it at a convention because that's about the only thing I can do that makes anyone proud #got to justify my existence somehow

21 notes · View notes

salsflore · 1 month

Text