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nakedbibi333 · 3 years

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hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist

Hi! Okay, so since this is a very long post, I will try to answer each of your questions/concerns in the order you mention them.

So about persisting, I can understand how it seems a bit complicated. You persist when, after a certain period of time, you still don't see movement of your desires manifesting OR if you see the OPPOSITE of your desires manifest. Oftentimes, when you finally open up your mind to the idea that your mind creates your reality, then some past doubts and fears can manifest as well. Your mind will often try to manifest opposite things in order to make you feel like you are doing something wrong, which is why so many loa teachers say to persist. It can be very difficult for people to persist, which is why so many people feel like they can't manifest, or that manifestation isn't real, because their 3D reality has too much weight in their lives, so they take it as truth and end up giving up on their desires manifesting. It's important to begin to believe that your 3D reality is extremely malleable and is only a reflection of your inner reality. You need to take the power away from the 3D and give it to yourself and your ability to create exactly what you want.

Then you ask about proof of manifestation. It is very true and understandable that other people's success stories are not enough for many people because you want to be able to trust the information that you are going to be getting into. Personally, before getting into manifestation, I already had my fair share of unexplainable success stories in my life, so it just seemed like an answer to the questions I've had all my life. Even with these success stories and experiences, when I first got into manifestation, I still would doubt myself by wondering if it was simply a coincidence these things happened, or worse, that I was becoming delusional. I want to tell you that every single person who is now into manifestation has gone through this feeling. We all worry that we are just doing "wishful thinking" and being delusional because the world we have grown up in has always been so practical. It's not easy to believe in something that seems so impossible without any previous personal experience. So, the only advice I can give you for this is to try to manifest extremely small things to build your faith over time, such as seeing a yellow butterfly, getting your favorite food, or seeing some sort of sign, so that you would know that what we are talking about is actually the truth. Also, there are so many documents that go more in-depth on how our minds create our reality, including CIA documents and books about the science of manifestation, such as books by Joe Dispenza, and books about the subconscious mind, such as books by Joseph Murphy, and many many more. Since the only way, you will really believe in manifestation is by having your own experiences, then manifesting small easy things is probably the best route.

Then, you mention how you're worried about "someone manifesting failure into your reality." My view on this is that you are the only person who can affect your life and nothing can happen to you that you don't specifically manifest into your reality (whether it be consciously or unconsciously). Everyone can manifest, yes. Everyone has control over their reality. You can even manifest people acting in certain ways towards you. But that's in your experience specifically. If we are talking about quantum physics, time is not linear, technically all possibilities of all time, ever, exists right now. We also shift through different realities at every moment depending on our mindset, beliefs, and decisions. So, if someone manifests something in their life that would affect "you" but does not align with your thoughts and beliefs, then it won't show up in your reality. You have control over your own reality, nothing comes into your life without you allowing it, so that's a very empowering thought, in my opinion. I really suggest that you affirm this so that you don't have to worry about others manifesting negativity over your life because you would never personally decide to manifest it into your own life.

I also want to talk about how you worry about affirming wrong or simply manifesting wrong. It's Important to note that these beliefs can also negatively affect your manifestation because that is not you truly living in the end. If you were living in the end, you would know that simply deciding that you want this to happen, means that it will happen and that it has to happen. You never need to doubt your manifesting process because your subconscious mind is so powerful and it is so easy to make it do things for you! Just like what @divineangelbee says, you can COMMAND your subconscious mind and it will listen and give you exactly what you want. You don't have to visualize or affirm or do anything. Simply tell your subconscious exactly what you want it to do and trust that it listens! I really think that the reason that you have not been having too much success is because of this, that you are constantly doubting your methods which keeps you from truly living in the end.

Then, about limiting beliefs. It can be beneficial to people to be aware of their limiting beliefs. However, there has been such an intense focus on limiting beliefs in the loa community (mostly on youtube) that I see so much. Coaches keep you focused on the problem of limiting beliefs so much that they don't actually help you move on from them. Personally, I found that whenever I focused on my limiting beliefs, it was like living in the old story. (if you don't get this reference, I seriously suggest you read or listen to Neville Goddard's lectures in which he talks about the law of assumption. They are life-changing). Focusing on limiting beliefs keeps you stuck in that story you are telling yourself about your life. It keeps you from overcoming them and becoming limitless. It helps me to affirm that my limiting beliefs no longer have the power to hold me back. I don't have any more limiting beliefs because I manifested not having them anymore. Manifestation works in many different ways, and a lot of people don't realize that you can simply manifest your desired mindset as well. I suggest trying this!

So, to make this as clear as possible, I will tell you how I personally manifest (disclaimer: people manifest differently, many different things work for different people, I am not saying this is the only or best way to manifest, but this is just what works for me).

First, I get my idea of what I want to manifest. Usually, I want to manifest multiple things at a time, there really is no limit.

Then, I will decide what will help me "feel it real" and "live in the end." This can include techniques, but I don't use techniques every time. I don't like to visualize because I am personally a maladaptive daydreamer, so visualizing makes me feel like I am daydreaming, which keeps me from really feeling like it's really happening. (But, if it works for you, by all means, go for it) I may print out a picture if it's a physical item in order to trick my brain into having something physical that represents this or adding it to a Pinterest vision board (I am a very visual person, so it always works for me). I also like to make a list of what I want just to keep it in a place that I can go back to and mark off in the future, telling my brain that this is a goal I need to achieve (I find that my brain loves to check things off of my goals, it makes my subconscious mind already start working towards the goal). But most of the work goes into my mindset. I don't affirm a lot because I feel like it becomes a chore if I have to recite affirmations all day every day. I may put up affirmations on my chalkboard or put them on my computer, but I don't make it a habit to really say them at specific times, etc. I really focus on making myself feel deserving of getting my manifestation and I also live in the end. Living in the end is where you feel confident that your desire is already yours. If it helps, which it does for me, I like to believe that I have it already in the "quantum field," or the 5D, or however you believe in it. It is not about being delusional and pretending like you have it, no, it's about feeling trusting in your own power to make this happen for you and it will come, no matter what.

After that, I "drop it." I don't forget about it or stop desiring it, that's not what letting go means. It means that I know that I don't need to do anything or force anything to happen because my subconscious, or the universe, will bring this to me and I don't need to worry about anything related to my desire. I also self-regulate my emotions by meditating, focusing on the things that make me happy, and reminding myself of how powerful and capable I am.

Then, eventually, it manifests. Or, if it doesn't come in the timeframe I wanted it to, or if something that would oppose my desire pops up, I focus on my own self-concept, making sure I genuinely feel deserving of and that I can get what I want, and I persist in that feeling that my desire is still mine. No matter if I got rejected, no matter if they told me I couldn't get the job, no matter if it looks like it won't happen. I still persist. and then it comes.

Finally, I want to mention that I am only here to give advice and I can't make anything physically happen for you. To see actual movement in your reality, you need to be willing to go through failures in order to find out what works for you. I have had manifestations fail, I have had MANY manifestations fail. It's not always a perfect process. I don't charge money, my identity is not on this page, I am not here to be a famous coach or to act like I know any better than anyone else. I am just trying to help you guys reach the point that you deserve to get to in your life. But I can only do so much. I really hope this helps.

#ask #advice #long post

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edwardelricsrightarm · 3 years

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"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #elric brothers #character analysis #disability month #disability positivity #disabled #fma 20th anniversary

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shelby-love · 3 years

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HARGREEVES SIBLINGS

What Brings us Together: Funerals

Requested: yes [x]

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none

Word count: 3.5K

Author’s note: I hope this is what you wanted. You didn't specify what kind of interaction we should have w our siblings so I just went off what was most realistic. Luther is a b of course, that's just how he is at the beginning lol. Don’t think I hate him though! p.s. so is diego we know he wasn’t really nice to vanya in the beginning :(

You sighed heavily through your nose, gathering your brows in distaste at the building standing tall in front of you. The Umbrella Academy looks as imposing as ever, making you remember just how much it once scared you when you were a kid.

Time went by and you became an adult. Someone with common sense, living an ordinary life far away from your once bright future that suggested money and luxury. Of course, when you’re informed of your father’s passing through a TV screen, it’s mandatory to show up and pay your respects.

You snorted at the rogue thought. “Bastard.”

Seeing your siblings after so many years of being apart made you feel anxious. Your father and his ashes weren’t the cause of your sweaty hands. It felt weird. Too weird.

But you ignored the feeling and called out your inner adult, placing one foot in front of the other and walking straight through the two-winged doors.

Your eyes fell on every surface of the academy, sweeping over every object while doing so. The number of memories, good and bad, that this place held was uncountable. But life, alas, is too short.

Your father a true example.

You gazed at the portrait with no emotion, looking at the picture of your father and siblings with a crooked smile of sadness. The tips of your bare fingers flickered with energy, and you fought the urge to curl them into a fist and punch a wall.

But your father's voice rung through your head, what you've been taught all your life bucking into instinctive actions. "You must know self-control Number Eight. You lack of it will be your downfall. Now put your gloves back on!"

You were 4 when those words big words started to leave his mouth, and you never heard the end of it. Not until he died.

You uncurled your fists, took a deep breath and felt the energy cave in.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

The sudden sweetness of a voice that belonged to your sister travelled into your ears, so quietly you almost didn't hear her. Your eyes widened slightly, and when you turned around – for a moment you didn't know what to do. The girl had turned into a celebrity, and you wondered if that had changed her in any way.

"Allison?"

She took a few sharp steps your way and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in a bone-crushing hug you returned immediately.

"You're not wearing your gloves," she took note, looking tentative to touch you for a second after pulling away.

"I don't need them anymore," you stated proudly.

Your father graced you with leather gloves at the age of 4, telling you to never take them off. That in a way, you and the powers you possessed were a danger to your siblings. The dark leather gloves weren't comfortable, in fact, they felt suffocating every time you wore them. Because that's how silencing your powers feels like. Suffocating. For a second too short, you had wondered what Allison felt like. Not being able to use her voice for what it was made for.

"Well, I'm happy for you," said Allison, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "You never really liked them."

"No," you agreed with a mumble. "No, I didn't."

The two of you walked out of the hall and into the living area, legs paired with pace.

"Where is everyone?" You asked her quietly, your eyes inspecting an antique you knocked over as a kid more times than you could count.

"Diego is here, somewhere," she mused, and you raised your brows ever so slightly in surprise. "He has this weird hero complex, so he's out saving the world, I guess. Apart from us three, no one’s here yet."

"Do you know when he'll be coming back?" You wondered out loud, watching her give you an odd look a second later. "I haven't seen him in years, Allison. He's my brother."

A part of you wanted to tease her about Luther by saying that not everyone is into what they were, but you withheld it and instead locked your eyes onto your other brother.

Number Five.

"I missed you Y/N."

You smiled at her quiet voice, "Missed you too Ally."

***

"You know if I was murdered, and if one of my sons...adopted sons... happened to be able to commune with the dead, I might think about, I don't know, I don't know...manifesting!"

You attempted to stifle your laughter as you watched Klaus prance around your father's ashes in an attempt to talk to him. He wasn't sober, so you doubted it would work.

But it was pleasantly nice to see him try at least.

"I don't think he wants to talk," you interrupted him mid-vent.

You watched as his pacing stopped, his demeanor switching from crazy to collected in the seconds it took your voice to be heard. Klaus turned around slowly, beaming from one ear to another. "It's you! You're alive!"

His scream of joy brought a wide smile to your lips, and you rushed to his arms. Both of you screamed like little kids, telling how much you missed each other and how tragic life has been without one another. Making jokes on your dead father's account was overly present too.

"And you're high!" You squealed in delight, ruffling his crazy looking hair.

Klaus pulled away at that, swaying in a matter that looked like he was stretching before a run. He pointed his thumb at the ashes, "Dad's too stubborn. He won't talk to me."

"Did you try begging?" You asked amused.

"I-I guess…" He mumbled before groaning. "I'm too sober for this!"

Then his eyes snapped to you and a pout drew on his face. Klaus went to stand in front of you, grabbing your hands in his and placing them on his chest. "Y/N…"

You rolled your eyes but didn't remove them, "Yes, Klaus?"

"I was just wondering if you," He said gingerly. "You know…"

This time you did pull your hands away but placed them on his face. Teasingly you squished his cheeks like you used to when you were kids. "You want me to give you money, so you can go get high because your childhood trauma of being locked in a mausoleum catches up to you every time you're sober? Of course, I will. How much do you need?"

It took him a second to process your words. "Oh my God really?" Klaus whispered, almost as if he didn't believe that was happening.

"I tried it your way when I left -" you explained, pulling out your wallet and glancing at his stunned expression. "- to suppress my powers. It didn't work, and I continued to suffer. If that's what it takes for you to not suffer from them, I'll gladly help."

You handed him a wad of money but when he tried to take them you pulled away, "Just…be careful Klaus."

"Yeah of course I will," he replied absentmindedly before he turned his head to the side. "Shut up."

You furrowed your brows, "Did you say something Klaus?"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no," said Klaus quickly, a little too quickly. "I didn't say anything."

You hummed but swore you had caught him swing his leg at something too.

"Well, if that’s all…" you murmured, "I'll leave you to it then, I gotta go see Mom. Don't say hi to dad from me, okay? Don't you dare Klaus."

The sibling only saluted, turning around to get back to trying to reach your dad, securing the money into a pocket in his skirt.

"Hey! Wait!"

You stopped and turned back around. Klaus waved his hands at the big lone fireplace. "Can you do that thing, please?"

By that thing, he meant to say start the fire. You shrugged and walked back to the fireplace. The amount of time you lit it up for your siblings was infinite. It felt weird to do it now even though you light your fire at home with your powers all the time.

Fire comes out of your hands quickly and with ease in the shape of a golden ball, igniting the lone fireplace within seconds. You watched the inferno you created in a daze, only breaking out of it when Klaus came to stand in front of the fire to warm up.

"Love you Klaus."

"Awww I love you too sis."

You shook your head, turned and left the room.

***

"Heard you came from the moon." You mused, "Thought I'd stop by and see for myself."

When word spread that Luther was on the moon, you didn't quite believe it. Then you found out that he too came back to send your father off to the lands of the dead, and you just had to see him and ask for yourself.

It was no surprise to find him in your dad's office of all places, although at first glance he did look like an intruder. You felt yourself stiffen at the sight of a big man in a coat, looming over your father's desk imposingly. Power surged through your veins, and it took everything in you to stop it from overflowing in fear.

When your brother met your face, you exhaled in relief and a single candle lit in the room as a result.

Luther seized it, looking impressed. "You've gotten better."

"Cut the crap Number One," you snapped suddenly, the tone mainly coming from the fact that your powers activated because of the fear that came from seeing a completely new version of your brother. "First of all, what happened to you? I thought Diego would turn out like that, not you."

He shrugged his massive shoulders.

"Second of all," you began. "What are you doing in dad's office?"

"Nothing," he said quickly.

Luther might look big and dangerous but the creases in his face give you all the answers you need. "You haven't changed a bit," you mused, leaning against the door. A part of you still felt young and that made you respect your father's words a little more by staying put. "Save for the…" You pointed to your torso for reference.

Luther noticed the way you eerily stood at the doorstep, contemplating whether to enter and break his word. "He's dead you know."

You shot him a look, "I know that."

"So, why don't you come in?"

You contemplated to come in, but in all honesty - nothing was of interest. You would much rather like to interrogate Luther and his whims.

"Is Allison really the only person you care about?" You asked him instead, the bubbled feelings you've been holding inside threatening to spill. It was rather hostile, the way you two met after years of not seeing each other. A big part of you felt angry at him for not calling you when things obviously went wrong somewhere. His body wasn’t a result of something natural, and you knew it. "I mean this as a sibling. Let's ignore the weird thing you two have for each other."

"We don-" he started, your seizing eyes stopping him mid-sentence. "Is it that obvious?"

You sighed, "Look Luther, I'm just trying to say…"

"No, you're accusing me."

"Of what?"

"You left. All of you."

You snorted, "You really want to do this right now?"

"I don't see why not."

"You're looking for something," you said instead, completely ignoring his words. "I won't help you find it nor will I try to lie if you ask me if I have it."

His ears perked, "Dad's monocle."

You chuckled, "That lame thing he always wore?"

Luther nodded.

"Why do you need it?"

"You said you wouldn't lie."

"I'm not lying Luther, I just asked you a question!" You told him. A thought washed over you when his eyes pinned you in, and you could barely even grasp it. "You think I killed him, don't you?"

"I didn't say that." He tried to reason, although he didn't move from around the desk to try and soothe you.

"You didn't have to," you said quietly, feeling tears gather in your eyes. "I see the way you look at me, brother. Ever since I hurt her-"

"Don't talk about her," he stopped you.

"Why the hell not?!" You exclaimed, "She's my sister you know. Our sister. You keep forgetting that."

Luther stayed silent after your outburst, probably contemplating whether to apologize, but you cut him from speaking before he could even start. "We were 7 Luther. I didn't know what I was doing. You think I wanted to take the air out of her lungs? She was going to rumor me Luther. I was scared."

It didn't really matter how much you repeated it to him, he never understood. His love for her goes beyond siblingship, as weird and disturbing as it was. Whoever hurt Allison became a monster in his eyes. "But anyway. I didn't steal that ugly thing. You can cross me off your list."

You looked around the office, ignoring the way Luther stood silently. The lack of light was obviously making it difficult for him to sniff around. You raised your hands in the air, watching as the tips of your fingers turned into flames. A satisfying sight, but a sight you didn't want to look at currently. With a swipe of your hand, you controlled the small blazes until they broke apart and landed at the candles, lighting up the room, so Luther can see. "Hopefully this helps."

You walked away from the office after that, not daring to look behind yourself in fear of breaking down.

***

You stomped across the academy, anger flowing off you in waves. Having your emotions tied to your feelings was never fun. The chandelier above you swayed under the wind that came from your anger and candles burnt out, the fire that came within them disappearing into your body.

"Y/N?"

Suddenly, the wind stopped, but your lip started to tremble instead. "Vanya?"

When you turned around, she stood awkwardly at the door. With hands in her pockets she glanced between the shaking chandelier and you.

It was obvious that she was uncomfortable, at least until she saw your relieved smile. "Is that really you?"

She smiled, "I-I guess."

You outright laughed, the outcome of Luther and yours argument disappearing from your mind completely when you hugged her. "I missed you so much."

"You did?" She asked surprised.

"Why wouldn't I?" You asked her, confusion crossing your features. "You're my sister. Come here."

You brought her into the hug again, feeling her hug you tighter this time.

"You're not mad at me?"

Remembering what she was talking about had you cringing ever so slightly in discomfort. You scratched the back of your neck, "I mean… I was. But not anymore, Vanya. I'm all passed that now."

"You are?" She asked, hopeful.

"I am," you nodded in confirmation. "We're here to say our goodbyes to Dad. You have every right to be here, no one can tell you otherwise."

Vanya stayed silent, so you quickly added, "And the book was good. Exposing, but good. I like your way with words."

She snorted, "Yeah I thought you would."

Beaming, you slung an arm around her shoulders just like Allison did when you first came. Unfortunately, in your dysfunctional family, no one has peace for long. Diego came striding down the stairs in his black spandex suit, looking as he just came out of an action movie.

Seeing you had his smile growing by a mile, but upon glancing at Vanya the easy smile vanished and was instead replaced by a scowl. "You're still here? I thought I already told you. You don't belong –"

"Diego," your hand raised in the air to halt his mouth. "Now's not the time."

He let out a humorous laugh, walking up to you to give you a kiss on the cheek. You didn't fight it, instead letting him kiss your cheek and squeeze your shoulder as a greeting after not seeing each other for years. "Good to have you back sis."

"Enjoy it while you can," you said. "Because I'm leaving the moment dad's ashes are spread."

"Oh, I bet," he mused. "I'm leaving too. You should go now Vanya, save us the trouble."

"Okay Diego that's enough," you interrupted, standing closer to Vanya this time round, hoping she sees your support through mere change of standing. "Why don't you run along and go save lives? I heard that's your life's call."

He rolled his eyes before glancing at your outfit. "That's an awfully bold color for a funeral."

"That's because I'm not dressed yet," you rolled your eyes. "Now, if you don't have anything nice to say, I suggest you leave before I boil you."

Knowing you don't give out empty threats, Diego nodded grimly and disappeared upstairs, not giving Vanya a glance of acknowledgement. "You know, maybe he's right… I should just go."

You shook your head immediately, "Absolutely not. Look Vanya, your book might've not been the best thing that's happened to us, but it certainly isn't the worst. He's just being snappish. That's Diego's factory setting."

She laughed, this time giving you a smile. Not a fake smile, but a real one.

You felt victorious as you wrapped your arm around her again, leading her into the living area for a catch-up.

***

"Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?"

You and Klaus held to each other like little kids, not believing what, or who, stood in front of you. The little carbon copy of your long-lost brother swore under his breath, shocking you to the bones with the word ‘shit’. "I'm not high, am I?"

"I-I don't know," said Klaus awkwardly, "Do you feel high?"

"Klaus she's not high," Diego interrupted, standing in front of the group with Luther.

"You never know with her," Klaus tried to explain.

"Five is that really you?" You asked, ignoring the bickering that went all around you.

"Of course, it's me!"

"Oh God Klaus they even sound the same," you whispered, clutching Klaus' hand tighter.

"Look I don't have time to explain this all to you," the boy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like an old man.

"The hell you do," Diego mumbled, eyeing him with menace.

Number Five (if that was even him) rolled his eyes and tried to push through and walk right past you. No 30-year-old - despite how shocked and curious they were - tried to stop him.

Save for you of course.

A lone vine flew from the wall under your command, wrapping itself around your brother's wrist in a vice-grip. Five eyed it nonchalantly, as if the sight amused him rather than intimidated him. "You do know I can walk right through that?"

You dared him with your eyes and mocked him with your mouth, "You do know that you've been gone for 17 years? I've evolved little man."

He bunched his brows together, almost as if he didn't believe you. To test his theory out, he urged his body to travel through space. You all watched as he walked straight through the air, coming out on the other end in a different part of the yard, not being able to move due to the vine's grip despite having travelled through literal space.

"Cute!" Five called out, walking back toward you using his power. "Now let me go."

"And why would she do that?" Luther asked, the inner Number One in him surfacing.

"Because I've got work to do."

"Five you're a kid literally," Allison objected, gazing over your brother's tiny body.

"You don't understand…"

"Maybe he needs a nap," Klaus mumbled next to you.

"I don’t-"

By not literal smoke was almost coming out of his little ears, his face reddened from anger, and he looked annoyed beyond understanding. "They're too young… I knew it."

You creased your brows, not understanding why Five was mumbling weird things into his chin. "You alright Five?"

He glared at you, "I will be… Once you get this thing off me."

You shrugged with a sigh, mumbling an okay and hauling the vine away from Five who shook his head in irritation. He wrapped a hand around his sore wrist, massaging it with his thumb to get read of the soreness. "Can't say I missed you and your crazy plants. Although you would've been a great addition to my adventures."

"What adventures?" You asked confused. "You’re 13."

Five sighed, brushing you all off with a sway of his hand.

Klaus was the first one to dash back into the house mumbling something about not being able to handle the weather, Allison following behind him carefully. Luther, who looked like a lost puppy, followed after your sister until it was just Vanya, Diego, Five and you left.

"I'm going to head inside," said Vanya awkwardly, disappearing inside quickly.

Diego gave Five a sideward glance but shook his head and left too.

"Elemental manipulation is exactly what we need to fight it."

You rolled your eyes, not quite believing that he forgot how elemental manipulation isn't your favorite thing. "Fight what Five?"

"The apocalypse."

"I'm glad you're back bro, seriously I mean it," You told him sincerely, "But you're crazy. I'd say get some help but…"

MASTERLIST

Here is the link to my tag list masterpost! If you want to be added to one of my existing tag lists (or perhaps new ones) let me know! :)

✭ GENERAL TAGS (all WIPs):

@fofisstilinski @short-potato @miranda0102 @httphiddlestan @caromichaela @xx-missunicorn-xx @jemmakates @theravenclawmarauder @tclaerh @chefdoeuvre @just-arather-veryconfused-being @crazy0lu @thirstykpophoe @abimoon @sofiasamps @princxss-fia @theletterhart

✭ THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY: /

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221bsunsettowers · 3 years

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Chapter 2: Settle Down, It Will All Be Clear (Tarlos Royal AU)

In which both men are handsome and nervous, Paul Strickland is an amazing man-in-waiting and confidant, there is a celebration banquet and a shared dance, and Carlos collapses on the floor.

This is Chapter 2 of my Tarlos Royal AU , The Kingdom Lights Shine Just for Me and You, in which TK is a prince, Carlos is a knight, and Carlos just won TK’s hand in marriage. Chapter 1 can be found here and here . Chapter 2 can also be found here

Thank you so much for all of your excitement and encouragement about this AU, it makes me feel so inspired and I am having so much fun with it!

Note: A man-in-waiting is "a man who comes from a family of high social standing and who is attached to a royal household".

CW: anxiety and small physical manifestations of anxiety, small description of a character suddenly in pain

Chapter 2: Settle Down, It Will All Be Clear

Carlos ran his hands nervously over his green doublet with gold trim (somehow it fit him perfectly), an action he had repeated more times than he could track. "Is everything all right, my lord?" came a voice behind him, and Carlos could barely stop himself from startling.

After the tournament was over, after he'd met eyes with TK, after Carlos thought he had seen the same flash of attraction he was feeling in the Prince's eyes as well, Carlos had been whisked away before even a word could be exchanged between himself and his future husband. Now he found himself in what he could only assume was his new designated chambers, with man-in-waiting Paul Strickland.

"Please, call me Carlos," Carlos found himself practically pleading. "Everything's just so-it changed so fast-" He cuts himself off, shaking his head, catching the silken fabric of his sleeve in his hand and rubbing it between his fingers.

"I imagine this to be overwhelming," Paul spoke softly, smiling kindly at Carlos.

"It truly is," Carlos sighed, perching on the edge of the ornate desk chair before quickly leaping up, frantically looking down at his trousers to make sure he hadn't creased them.

"You can sit, I promise any wrinkles in your outfit can be fixed before the dinner," Paul assured him, and Carlos gratefully sank back down on the chair.

"Thank you," Carlos sighed again, fidgeting with the fabric of his sleeve, returning to rubbing it between his fingers.

"He does that same gesture," Paul chuckled, gesturing to Carlos' hands.

"What is he like?" Carlos asked, seizing on the opportunity. "Prince TK."

"I think it best you discover that yourself," Paul said gently, straightening out the rest of the garments he had been tending to.

"Of course, my apologies," Carlos said instantly, cheeks turning red. He rested his head in his hands. "I must admit that I have no idea what the proper protocol is for this situation I find myself in."

"He is a good man." Paul spoke softly but reassuringly, running a brush over the pair of shoes that had been selected for Carlos to wear that evening. "I can tell you that. He has always been kind to all of us here in the castle, and to our families, and to his subjects."

"I am glad to know that, my gratitude." Carlos looked up at Paul. "Thank you for your conversation. It...it feels very nice to feel like I know someone here."

"I am glad to help," Paul smiled, as Carlos slid his feet into the shoes. "Many of us here know the difficulty of leaving our families, but I hope you will find, like we have, that we make a family here at this castle as well."

After assisting Carlos, Paul entered TK's chambers. The king had requested, as a personal favor, that Paul look after Carlos as well as the prince for the time being. Paul had immediately acquiesced, his role in the castle one of affection as well as responsibility. His mother and the queen had been childhood friends growing up on neighboring estates, and they had remained in touch. It was an honor for Paul to be selected as the prince's man-in-waiting, a role reserved for a man of high status and noble lineage.

At this point in their lives, while Paul of course continued to assist TK in any and all royal matters, he was also a friend and confidant for the prince. And so he found himself in a familar way, sitting in TK's desk chair, watching as the young royal paced back and forth across the floor, fingers twitching around the fabric of his blue silken sleeve.

"I did not ask for this," TK groaned, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Your father and mother seemed to think it was a good idea," Paul commented, and TK let out a deep sigh, perching on the very edge of his bed, index and middle finger tapping a disjointed rhythm out on his knee.

"I know they are concerned about me," TK admitted softly, head dropping. "I know the havoc Prince Alex brought about was more than they thought I could bear, and they were almost correct."

"Your sadness was palpable," Paul said gently. "We all wish you to be happy again."

"But marriage with a stranger does not seem like the way to happiness," TK said despondently, his fingers tapping faster, his foot now joining in the nervous movement. Paul crossed over to stand by the bed, and rested a gentle hand on TK's shoulder.

"He is kind," Paul proffered, and TK raised his head, eyes showing a glimmer of hopefulness. "He told me to call him by his first name, showed me respect, apologized for slights he had not even performed. He longs for his family but is resolute in doing right by them. And despite the circumstances, he wishes to know about you." Pointing to TK's sleeve, Paul chuckled. "He even wears the ends of his sleeves bare with anxious rubbing just as you do."

"He is nervous as well?" TK questioned in surprise. "But he seemed so full of confidence during the tournament."

"He is a knight," Paul reminded the prince. "He knows how to fight. But this-" Paul gestured towards the room, to the castle beyond the chamber door. "This is not something he finds easy to understand. It is strange to him, and you are still a stranger." He patted TK on the shoulder before bending down to retrieve TK's discarded pair of shoes. "Perhaps it would be kindness for the both of you if you went through this confusion together."

"Perhaps," TK murmured, not registering that the frantic tapping of his fingers had slowed to a barely perceptible twitch.

"Sir Carlos Reyes, newly-bethrothed of Prince TK Strand," a formal voice called out as Carlos entered the enormous banquet hall, and for a moment Carlos was frozen in absolute panic as what felt like hundreds of pairs of eyes turned to him.

The next moment TK was next to him, the same voice bellowing out "His Highness, Prince TK Strand."

"Just stay beside me," TK murmured under his breath, offering Carlos his arm and a small smile. Nodding, Carlos looped his arm through TK's, echoing back a small smile of his own.

"Thank you," Carlos whispered gratefully as he let TK guide them along their procession to the massive table, taking their places next to the king and queen.

"You fought very well today," Owen spoke, inclining his head in Carlos' direction, and Carlos found himself barely able to force down the sip of wine instead of choking in surprise.

"My thanks, Your Highness," Carlos managed to eke out, and he could hear TK laughing softly beside him. Turning to meet TK's eyes, Carlos couldn't help but smile back as TK's eyes twinkled mischeviously.

"Father, give him a moment to collect himself," TK chided jokingly, and Owen chuckled, nodding his head in acquiescence.

"May I ask where he acquired such skills, or is that also an offense, dear son of mine?" Owen asked, his formal tone from the tournament now changed to one light and teasing, drawing another laugh from TK.

"My father taught me," Carlos responded, unable to keep a smile from gracing his face at just the thought of his family. "He carried dreams of my becoming a knight just as he did." "He must be very proud," Owen said, lifting his goblet in Carlos' direction.

"Thank you, Your Highness," Carlos answered gratefully, raising his goblet in return.

"We shall need to build up to you calling me something more informal, particularly as you are to marry my son," Owen said kindly, and Carlos felt TK stiffen slightly. Taking another sip of wine, Carlos returned his gaze to TK, who had no goblet before him.

"Are you in need of wine?" Carlos asked, and TK shook his head.

"I do not partake any longer," TK mumbled, and while he did not elaborate, Carlos could still see the pain in his eyes. Carlos simply nodded, but did not take another sip, instead discreetly shifting his wine glass out of sight.

As the elaborate meal progressed, toasts were made (Carlos followed TK's example, and nodded graciously instead of raising a goblet in return), and platter after platter of delicious and hearty fare were laid in front of Carlos and TK. Carlos focused on the food in an attempt to forget how many important personages continued to fix their gaze upon him. He responded politely to the repetitive queries made of him, reiterating his lineage and his path to knighthood more times than he could count.

Eventually, Owen and Gwyneth rose from their chairs, and the gathered crowd followed them into the ballroom. As the music struck up, Owen led Gwyneth into the beginning steps of the dance. "Would you feel comfortable joining the dance?" TK asked softly as he resumed his position at Carlos' side. "I do not wish to compel you to do anything you do not wish to."

"That is very considerate of you, your highness," Carlos said softly, performing a low bow.. "A dance would be my honor." Carlos could feel his heart racing as he extended a hand to TK, who took it in his own. Carlos could feel a rapid fluttering where his own fingers brushed against TK's wrist. Entering the dance, he placed his other hand on the curve of TK's waist, and they slid into the steps.

"TK," TK murmured, just loud enough for Carlos. "If we are to be wed...I would wish us to be more informal with each other." Raising his head, he met Carlos' gaze, cheeks tinted pink. "If you are amenable."

"I am amenable," Carlos responded, heart seeming to tremble in his chest. "Carlos, then."

"Carlos." TK smiled softly, nodding his head. "Thank you."

As the dance ended, TK led Carlos to a quieter section of the ballroom, farther from the musicians. "Would you-" TK began, but the words caught in his throat as he saw Carlos suddenly double over, hands clutching at his stomach, a moan of pain slipping past his trembling lips. Carlos' legs began to give out, but TK reached for him, catching him and gently lowering him to the ground.

"Carlos?" TK asked frantically, hands hurriedly running along Carlos' stomach and sides, searching for some sign of an undiscovered injury, but finding none. He met Carlos' terrified gaze, eyes widing in pain, and TK instinctively grabbed Carlos' fingers between his own, rubbing the back of his bethrothed's hands soothingly as his mind raced with fear.

"Tommy!" TK screamed out, ignoring the guests who had roamed over to see the unexpected dramatics. "Tommy, Nancy, we need a healer!"

If you would like to be added to my Tarlos taglist, just let me know!

@laelipoo @ravens-words @ladytimekiller @buddie-buddie @morganaspendragonss @marceee24 @a-l-ias @bikingthroughhawkins @i-had-bucky @pragmaticoptimist34 @highqualitykhakis @meloingly

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tarotinapinch · 3 years

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Pile Two

[stones pictured from left to right] red jasper, sunstone, bumblebee jasper, green goldstone, sodalite, lepidolite

1. Red - How to live more authentically

*Three of Cups

*Ascension

*Moonstone - Fertility. Calming emotions. Attracting new love. Growth.

*Remember, love is the key. Love what you have in your life right now.

*Justice

*Imagine - What would you see, feel, think, and hear if your wish came true?

*Pegasus of the Rainbow Light

*Compassion - Be gentle with yourself. Forgiveness will set you free. See the light in yourself and others.

You have been through so much in your life on your path to live authentically. In the past many people's opinions either within your blood family or close childhood friends have caused you to pause on your journey, to rethink if what you're feeling is even correct. The answer is, of course what you feel is correct within your heart is always the right thing for you. You're learning not to confuse other people's thoughts and opinions as your own truth. Forgiveness is needed as well in order to move forward. Forgiveness of others trying to push their own agenda onto you and forgiveness to yourself for almost taking them up on the hard pressed offer. Neither of you knew better at the time. They thought you wanted it, and you did too before you separated yourself from societal or familial norms. But you now know better and will be able to continue on your journey to live your most authentic life by celebrating your personal victories and allowing yourself to grow and ascend even further by cultivating the energy of love. Love for your physical form, love for your emotional body, love for each step of your spiritual journey no matter how small, love for those around you, especially when they do not yet have love for themselves. Remember that karma is quite powerful. You get what you put in, so always react within the energies of love, especially when your compassion is tested. Continue to be gentle with yourself and others as you continue to unravel who the true, most authentic you is. Live free, let those wild and unique personality traits of yours shine like a crystal in the sunlight, casting colorful rainbows onto everything around you. Expect the best and receive even better.

2. Orange - How to nurture self love

*The Fool

*Underworld

*Green Jade - Attracting love. Balance. Dreams come true. Purity.

*No longer holds power over you. Dissolve attachments of the past with love.

*Wellbeing

*Teamwork - Work with others to make this situation come about.

*Blue Pegasus of the Open Sky

*Possibility - Raise your standards. Elevate your expectations. You have unlimited potential.

The best way to nurture your self love is to embark on your shadow work journey. These journeys are always feared from even before the first step, but fear is not an indication of wrongness or failure. Fear is a symbol that you are alive and your soul yearns to step outside of your comfort zone, to bring you one step closer to the next part of your spiritual awakening. So that you can allow yourself to attract all of the blessings that are meant for you and more. The moment you become self aware of the self work that you have ahead of you, and the fear that almost always comes with this realization, your past no longer has any hold over you. You are the sole creator of your future and you are ready to manifest your best life. Raise your self-standards. You are far more capable than you give yourself credit for. Keep speaking your truth and you will attract authentic love, peace, and balance into your life in the form of others who share your ideals. Manifesting is absolutely possible on your own, but the more people share the same vision, the faster and more potent the manifestation will be. Trust in your intuition to tell you who is a helpful teammate to you during this time. Only keep those close to you who support and encourage your spiritual growth and self-love journey.

3. Yellow - How to boost self confidence

*Two of Coins

*Share Wisdom

*Pyrite - Good changes of fortune. Success. Renewed focus. Leadership.

*You are being called into service. Believe in your own guidance.

*Spirit Guide

*Share - When you share, everyone feels happy.

*Pegasus of the Black Diamond

*Passion - Do what excites you. Get fired up about your life. Increase your energy levels.

The answer here is pretty blunt and simple: do what you love to do and share your knowledge with those who are eager and accepting of the teachings that you have to offer. Doing so will boost your inner authority, automatically bringing you more confidence. You have overflowing stores of wisdom and knowledge within you that you are meant to share with the world. You could possibly be drawn to writing, public speaking, acting, song writing, singing, therapeutic jobs, or any other outlet that allows you to share messages with others. Other people's spirit guides tend to work through you. You allow them to use you as a mouthpiece to channel their words through you so that the messages may go directly to those they are guiding. Sharing your word, wisdom, and the messages of spirit help those around you greatly, which helps to boost your confidence.

4. Green - What positive energy to put out into your world

*Eight of Coins

*The Outlaw

*Amber - Harmony. Home protection. Calm. Attracts love.

*Let it out, let it flow. Open up the heart to feel.

*Healing

*Light - See the light within yourself and everyone else.

*Orange Pegasus of Healing

*Past Lives - Release your past life karma. You are an old soul with deep wisdom. Healing your past lives will raise your vibration.

The positive energies that you bring to this world are quite endless, but the main actions that you take that help raise the vibration is working hard toward your goals and dreams even if they are quite different than anything your blood family and childhood friends have ever done. You are called for something much more unique than you have experienced before and you're meant to go after this calling diligently in order to heal yourself, those around you, and your past lives. You have had many past lives being suppressed and it's in this life that you are meant to finally rise above that because over all of those hard lifetimes, you have finally accumulated all of the learnings needed to stand strong in your truth and do what feels right to you. Your calm and compassionate energies bring peace, harmony, and protection to you, your journey, and to anyone who supports you along the way. Sometimes you might feel like the outlaw, others may try to manipulate you into feeling that you aren't doing the right thing, that you're making mistakes. But when this happens, when you feel yourself start to get stuck in a rut, remember how going after the things that you are truly passionate about makes you feel, the healing energies it brings to you. Bask in this light and in turn you will be able to share it with others, helping them to start their own healing journey.

5. Blue - How to best uphold healthy boundaries

*Three of Wands

*The Seeker

*Citrine - Wealth. Enhanced career prospects. Self-esteem. Manifestation

*Enjoy where you are. For soon you will be somewhere else

*Passion

*Let Go of Stress! - Don't take on other people's stress. Breathe it out now.

*Pegasus of Sirius

*Partnership - Teamwork will give you a better result. Find trustworthy people to partner with. Build up a talented support team.

The best way to keep your boundaries in check right now is to just keep going after the things that your heart longs for with that fiery passion you feel for them. Open your eyes to all of the opportunities that surround you and don't back down from any challenges that may pop up along the way. These challenges are meant to test your strength and resolve, but you can and will conquer these tests like a pro. You are so naturally gifted, all you need to do is trust in yourself and your intuition to guide you through any seemingly sticky situation. These times can be very stressful, and rightfully so. But the best thing you can do when you feel overwhelmed is to take a step back and de-stress. Do some self care rituals that make you feel good and call upon those who you know have your back and support your mission with unconditional love. Continue to find these kinds of people and create your own amazing support team. Those who truly care for you and your well-being will always honor your boundaries. Learn to love those who ignore, push, or otherwise try to break your boundaries from a distance. Remember that their actions are never an attack on you, they only show how much they are hurting inside. Embody the energies of love and allow yourself to be a guiding light for those who may have lost their way and could use a reminder of where to go to move forward and heal themselves.

6. Purple - What to be proud of

*Six of Wands

*Transmute

*Black Obsidian - Strength. Support during changes. Everyday stress relief. Clears negative energy.

*Following the path of another. Your path is being redirected to where it should be.

*Transformation

*You are Gifted - You are very intelligent and talented.

*Pegasus of Roses

*Trust - Leap into the unknown. Have faith and move forward. Believe you will fly.

Be proud of all the victories within your life, celebrate them with pride. You have overcome so much and you should be so proud of yourself for all of these accomplishments. It takes a great amount of strength to stand up for yourself and start following your own path, especially when you had been following someone else's path for a long time, thinking that was the way for you. You have transformed quite drastically, now trusting your intuition and the Universe as you begin to leap into the unknown. You know that wherever you end up, even though you cannot see it just yet, you will be better off because you are doing these things for yourself in pure self love. You should be proud of the many gifts that you possess, one of which being able to transmute any hard times that you have been through into experience for the next chapter of your life. You are constantly learning new skills and leveling up, always allowing yourself the room to learn even more. You have a naturally strong intuition and it does not take much to hone this skill of yours so long as you truly trust yourself. Be proud of your authentic truth that you are learning to thrive in.

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citrussdance · 3 years

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Cardfight!! Vanguard overDress Unit Lore: 002 “Chakravarthi Divine Dragon, Nirvana”

original jpn found here: https://story.cf-vanguard.com/unit/story002/

The entire world, from every corner of the planet Cray, arrives to wait in great joy and anticipation.

The holy dragon is awakening. It is the beginning of a new era, and the birth of a great many hopes for the future. Now, the sun shines down warmly on us from directly overhead, and a long-lost divinity comes to be on this earth.

O, that magnificent, divine form, soaring through the heavens! The beauty of the ring of light at its back! At long last, our prayers have borne fruit. Behold, the arrival of the “Chakravarthi Divine Dragon” of the shining future--

“Rino! Rino, watch out!” Rona yells.

Rino stumbles as her arm is yanked forcefully back. Missing her by an inch, a horse-drawn cart, loaded to the brim with luggage, gallops by. Today, the town of To Lisn is buzzing happily with excitement for the spring festival. The road is busy with people and carts.

“It’s not like you to be so unsteady on your feet.” Zonne straightens out Rino’s men’s clothing. The hand on Rino’s arm doesn’t let go- out of caution, perhaps.

“We’re not walking in open hills and plains like yesterday, so remember to pay more attention to your surroundings, Rino.”

“I’m sorry, I. . .” At Reiyu’s words, Rino realizes that she must have been daydreaming. The sun is directly overhead. At the turn of the hour, it will be noon.

To Lisn is a village in the midwest of the Dragon Empire. For a village along the highway, it is fairly large. Running through the center of the town is a busy road stretching from the imperial capital in the east to Keter Sanctuary in the west. The harbor faces a deep bay that leads to the sea, ideal for the shipping and fishing industries. To the north is the great Dragonia Mountain Range, where the Red Temple of Dawn lies; to the west, a dense forest; and to the east, a mountain range called the “Dragon’s Jaw”. Beyond that is a desert called the “Dangerous Zone” and other diverse lands. At the center of it all, To Lisn is a hub through which many peoples and goods flow.

“I got everyone’s clothes! They’re secondhand, but the quality is good, so don’t worry. Oh, and Egg-kun, wear this canvas.” So saying, Trickstar had handed the girls heavy bags, just that morning.

Rona asks, “You paid for everything properly, right?”

“Of course! I got it a li~ttle discounted, though. Here, I’ll return the change.”

Rino peers at the money. “Wait- it’s just by a bit, but that’s more change than I expected. . . are you sure you didn’t do something weird?”

“Mhmm! I just played ‘four people and one spirit who got separated from its friends’ pretend!”

“So the store owner took pity on you and- ? . . . Good grief.” Reiyu takes the change. She can easily see Trickstar’s eyes filling with tears as it appeals miserably to the store owners.

“Ehe. The man at the store is a really good person, you know.”

“Are you even a spirit, in the first place? Are spirits the kind of beings who casually pop over to the general store to run errands for a human?” Zonne asks. Her tone is suspicious.

“I’ve only just been born onto this planet, you know? There’s no way I could know what kind of creature I am. The only thing I really know is that I wanted to fulfill your wishes, so I manifested. Isn’t that enough?”

The prankster companion who joined Rino, Reiyu, Zonne, and Rona’s party brings smiles to the sighing girls. Trailing behind them, looking like a second Trickstar draped in its white cloth, the Sunrise Egg skips happily.

“By the way, why are we dressed in boys’ clothes?” Rona asked. Like the other girls, her arms are sagging with a bag full of supplies purchased at the town marketplace.

The girls are wearing cloaks that they prepared for their journey, but currently, beneath those are the men’s clothes that Trickstar got for them. If they remove their hairpins, they can be easily taken for four young men.

“This is a lively port city, so I thought that boys’ clothes would be best to help fit in with all the rough sailor men!”

Its words backfire.

Rino, whose smile can lift the spirits of anyone who sees her; Zonne, who looks better than anyone in boys’ clothes; Rona, with her gentle demeanor; and Reiyu, with her cool appearance all possess outstanding beauty that a mere clothing change can’t hide. That, along with their otherworldly airs- a given, considering they are priestesses of the Red Dawn Temple, said to be the oldest temple on planet Cray- and their two small, white-hooded companions (the Sunrise Egg and Trickstar), make them the talk of the town, no matter how subtle they are.

“Sorry, everyone,” Trickstar says. It seems to be particularly dejected at the fact that it could not help fulfill the Blaze Maidens’ wish- that is, to discover the truth of the world while drawing the least attention possible.

“It’s fine. We’re probably still going to be traveling for a long time, so we’ll do good to have as many fitting clothes as we can find,” Rino comforts. The Sunrise Egg at her feet hops, as if in agreement.

“Thanks, Rino.” A pause. “This is the town square. We’re staying to watch the festival, right?”

Spring festivals can be found anywhere this time of year, and To Lisn is no exception. When the vendors vying for the attention of all the people who gather from the outskirts open shop, the grand scale of the festival can be felt.

“? . . . Hmm?” Suddenly, Rino feels a tug on the hem of her cloak. Looking down, she sees a young girl, about three or four years old, and crouches down to gently say hello. The girl, who seems to be wearing her best dress clothes, remains silent, refusing to let go of Rino.

“Are you alone? Where are your mother and father?” Rona asks.

“She looks like she’s lost. Up you go- do you want some candy?” Zonne casually picks up the girl, who clings tightly to her neck.

Reiyu hums. “With this crowd, there’s no use in trying to call out for her parents- there’s no way they could hear. Let’s wait here.”

The festival seems to have begun with no warning. Already, groups of people have gathered to sing and dance around the square. The girls exchange smiling looks; after all, festivals are the Blaze Maidens’ specialty. Of course, the familiarity would lift their spirits.

Just then--

Above the swelling clamor of the festival, a distinctly different sound could be heard.

“?! . . . What could that be. . . ?” At Rino’s voice, the entire crowd turns to look at the southern tip of the square. There seems to be an argument over stolen luggage.

“A fight. . . ?” Rona wonders.

No, not a fight, the Blaze Maidens soon realize. A tall man wearing a blue cloak is ordering his servants to forcefully seize the belongings of a married couple. Already, a fight is brewing around them.

“Papa! Mama!” The little girl calls out from Zonne’s shoulder.

“Eh- ?! Those are your parents?” Zonne asks.

Seeing the girl’s teary face, Rino suddenly heard the voice of her unspoken wish- “please, save them!”- echoing in her head.

The thieves are using brute force to beat and kick the girl’s parents. Sparkling gems spill from the stolen bags. Perhaps the girl’s family deals in precious gems? Either way, there is no excuse for mugging someone like that.

An unstoppable hot feeling rises from the pit of Rino’s stomach- not quite anger, but a different, inexplicable impulse.

Suddenly, Rino is running into the crowd. All at once, a huge roar sweeps the crowd. The girls hear the faint sound of screaming from somewhere behind them.

“. . . Rino! Rino! Listen, Rino!”

Ignoring them, Rino steadily crosses the far distance between her and the girl’s parents.

There is someone screaming close by her ear.

“C’mon, listen to me! It’s me! It’s Trickstar!”

Rino abruptly pauses, her hands that had been desperately pushing through the crowd stilling. For her, who had always been the most conscious of others out of the maidens, her actions are clearly out of character.

Right above her head, Trickstar floats, its white hooded cloak cutting a clear silhouette. On its back is the Sunrise Egg. Its covering cloth, which Trickstar took pains to find, has already been blown off somewhere.

“Here, I’ll lend you my power. Try praying for what you want to do.”

“A prayer?”

“Mhmm. You’re a priestess, right? Haven’t you always been listening to others’ wishes, and praying for them to come true?”

“Yes. . . but if I don’t hurry. . . !”

“Rino, trust me!” The girl looks up in surprise at hearing such a strong and serious voice from Trickstar for the first time.

She understands. Even while jostled around by the sea of people, on the verge of being crushed, she joins her hands in prayer.

I want to protect that girl’s mother and father. I want to make that girl smile.

She wished for them to be saved, after all. . . please, I beg- !

The next moment, Rino’s body suddenly becomes as light as the wind. The crowd around her gasps in surprise as she flies up, carried high by extremely strong and solid arms.

“Hey, Rino. That was a good prayer. Let me grant your wish.”

The voice, coming from above her head, sounds both like Trickstar, and completely different at the same time.

Looking up, Rino sees a large humanoid figure with winglike equipment. “Are you Trickstar. . . ?”

“I’m Vairina- that’s the name that just came to mind. But I can explain later- here we go!”

Vairina crosses the entire town square in one leap and sends the thieving servants flying with one hand, the other holding Rino securely. Once she has secured the Sunrise Egg that had been carried on Vairina’s back, Rino approaches the blue-cloaked man. The man is standing on top of a blue tent-like structure that juts out jarringly from the ground. Behind Rino, Vairina crosses its arms, a sign that it is protecting her- a comforting sight indeed.

“Taking someone else’s things without a proper reason is a crime. Return those to their proper owners immediately!”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m just borrowing them. Of course, I’m not gonna return them. . . wait, you’re a girl, aren’t you?”

Rino flushes and straightens her clothes. After being jostled around by the crowd and then taking off into the sky with Vairina, the neckline of her shirt has fallen a little loose. Bitter anger rises from deep within her as the man waves the bag of gems in her face, laughing at her disarray.

Enveloping her hands, her feet, her hair, and even her slim body, the flames of emotion within her flicker to life before her eyes.

“Flame magic. . . ?! Some poor little village girl like you. . . ?!”

“That’s right! With these flames, I will purify your wicked heart. . . !”

The dance of the Blaze Maidens is meant to glorify the sun and offer praise to the holy dragon, but is also a difficult art designed to manifest the flames of life burning within the maidens’ bodies, polished through strict training. The Blaze Maiden Rino, using her entire body to conduct the flames, releases all of her power in the form of great flames at the man in the blue cloak.

“I won’t let you!” The man leaps nimbly back behind a large “thing” that rises to stand between him and Rino. The tentlike thing behind the man is actually a dragon. “Shield me, Recusal Hate Dragon!”

Rino’s flames collide with the dragon and are extinguished.

Recusal Hate Dragon roars, and the festivalgoers scream in terror.

“Ugh. . . !”

“Come, did you not say you would purify my wicked heart? What’s wrong?” The man laughs again. However, Rino is not bitter out of shame- rather, she curses herself for her carelessness.

Recusal Hate Dragon is immune to magic. In order to defeat it, one must use overwhelming force beyond its own, or use some other power to sneak past its defenses.

With the others here, perhaps. . . no, it’s impossible. I’m far away from the other maidens. . . I’m the one who left them to rush here all by myself, aren’t I?

Rino is weak- for now.

Even though she is weak, she has drawn the anger of the man who commands the dragon. As one of the Blaze Maidens, who are supposed to protect the holy dragon’s egg, this predicament is her first failure- and a big one, at that.

“You see- those measly flames cannot defeat me.” Rino knows she has lost- the man is only rubbing salt into the wound.

“No, she can do it. The Blaze Maiden Rino will change everyone’s hopes into power- I know she can.” Vairina’s words are comforting.

“How insolent. I’ll take care of you all at once. . . hmph!” At the blue-cloaked man’s signal, his underlings stand back up, at the ready.

Leave!

A voice that can’t possibly belong to any of the crowd stuffed into the area rings out.

Don’t ruin our festival! Go back to where you came from, you villain! You can do it, miss Maiden! The feelings of all the people gathered at the square lift Rino’s spirits.

And before Rino’s very eyes, the Sunrise Egg stands- as if saying that it is its turn to protect her, instead.

“Sunrise Egg. . . Lord Holy Dragon. . . ?”

As if to reassure Rino’s unsure mumbling, Vairina’s voice thunders through the square.

“Now, pray, Rino! That’s what a priestess does- right?”

Trickstar’s- Vairina’s- voice reaches Rino, and she prays- this time, not in anger, but in a plea to transform the feelings of everyone gathered into the strength to fulfill their wishes.

Once again, flames flicker to life, swirling in a great maelstrom around Rino’s body.

“And I will grant that wish!”

Behind Rino, Vairina, wrapped in a whirlwind, launches itself at Recusal Hate Dragon. With the dragon’s roaring jaw seized in its hand, Vairina twists nimbly in midair, throwing it up and then immediately down in the blink of an eye. Recusal Hate is slammed into the dirt, facing the sky, the mighty impact shaking the very earth and cobblestones it lies on. At the slightest sign of resistance, Vairina presses its knee into its stomach and the edge of its palm to its throat. For some reason, it knows that the dragon’s weak points are its particularly soft stomach and throat. Recusal Hate Dragon lets out an empty, weak growl and falls unconscious, its strength drained.

“I won’t stand for this! Who are you? With what power have you dared to defeat me?!”

“Didn’t I already say? The power of righteous prayers and everyone’s wishes will defeat evil- like this.” With one sweep of Vairina’s large hand, the blue-cloaked man and his subordinates- both already losing the will to fight- are pushed to the ground and bound securely using the ropes from various festival booths. The crowd, who had been holding its breath watching the fight, now begins to cheer in relief and joy.

“Thank you, Vairina.” Still dazed, Rino thanks her new friend. At her words, pop- ! Vairina reverts back to the form of Trickstar.

“You’re welcome. That’s all solved for now- !”

The Sunrise Egg stands in front of a still-kneeling Rino. “You’ve worked hard, too.”

Rino stretches out a hand, as if to thank it. The action must please the egg, for it almost seems to sparkle, faintly. Then--

Just once, Rino sees it, and feels it-

the cheering crowd; the little girl, reunited with her parents; the other Maidens, running over with luggage in their arms; and-

the being before her, no longer an egg.

“Rino. . . ! Come on, you’re staring into space again. . .” Rona whines.

Rino is still on her knees, her eyes closed. Her body trembles uncontrollably with emotion, and her hands, folded in prayer, stretch out-

-only to bump into the head of the Sunrise Egg.

“Eh? Huh. . . ?” Rino shakes herself back to the present. Was what she saw an illusion? It seems only she was able to see it. . .

“Here, your things. Oh, and we took the little girl back to her parents, so don’t worry.”

Rino already knows this.

Reiyu sighs gently. “We can’t stay here for much longer, Rino. Our journey to find the truth of the world without standing out too much has already been derailed enough.”

“This festival turned out to be pretty fun, hm?” Trickstar grins.

“You got far too carried away, Trickstar.”

“Sorryyyy. . .” Trickstar pouts.

“-Well, we should at least thank Trickstar for saving Rino.” At Reiyu’s rare praise, Trickstar and- for some reason- the Sunrise Egg jump up and down in excitement.

“Ehe. Let’s go on, then- on our journey of adventure and prayers!” Trickstar takes the lead, running towards the gates of the town. “Come on, follow me! Hurry!”

Rino, hefting her things, runs after it with the other Maidens following close behind.

The townspeople they are leaving behind will pass down the legend of four nameless priestesses in boys’ clothing, the Sunrise Egg, and Trickstar-turned-Vairina for generations to come.

The sun finally sets, bathing the town of To Lisn in the gentle rays of the spring afternoon.

#vanguard #cardfight!! vanguard #cardfight vanguard #dragon empire #nirvana #english translation #japanese translation #trickstar #vairina #overdress #カードファイトヴァンガード #カードファイトヴァンガードオーバードレス

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yunsoh · 4 years

Text

kakeru’s presentation of childhood trauma: the other side of the coin

part of the intrigue of kakeru’s character is its blatant opposition to yuki’s. he shows a self-confidence that yuki lacks. he’s unaware of how his actions affect other people while yuki is hyper-aware. he comes off as emotionally open to the point of abrasion where yuki is intensely guarded and careful. he at first seems to be everything yuki isn’t. and, being that we know of yuki’s struggles, and are intimately aware of why he struggles, our first impression of kakeru may be that he doesn’t struggle at all. it’s what yuki believes at first, after all, and this impression tinges our viewpoint.

however, as the story evolves and kakeru becomes more of a presence, we start to see that he does struggle, and carries his issues from his upbringing in his own ways -- it’s just that his presentation is different from yuki’s (and machi’s, for that matter), and his presentation isn’t one that’s as easy to sympathize with.

he doesn’t suffer from self-loathing. he doesn’t internalize his traumas in a way that make him believe he’s broken or unlovable. instead, his issues lie within how he views other people -- his issues manifest as external and other’s-oriented. he assumes that he knows why people act the way they do, which bars him from learning how to read and sympathize with them.

and it’s because of this, maybe, that we become dismissive of how, or if, he’s affected by his own childhood.

we don’t see very much of kakeru’s childhood, but we see and hear of it in about the same amount as machi’s. i think it’s important that this is the case, and important to see where they present similarly and differently.

though they were raised by different mothers (possibly in different households as well; the amount of interaction kakeru had with their father isn’t known), they were raised under the same strict guidelines and the same competitive atmosphere that, ultimately, left them both without figures of emotional nurture in their formative years. kakeru mentions that his mom only “came to her senses” after he “went on a rampage” about his involvement in the inheritance issue -- as he started to be less emotionally repressed after this confrontation, we can take this to mean that this is when he finally started receiving the emotional nurture from his mom that hadn’t been present to him previously (we see later that he and his mother are much closer, even if they show it in aggressively teasing ways).

as machi never received that nurture from her parents, and was further abandoned by them, her and kakeru’s similar path of trauma split. however, her presentation of her issues -- cold, quiet, having sudden moments of aggression that peak to some form of destruction -- are traits she shares with kakeru. these traits were more blatantly shared until their early teens:

and these traits continue to show in kakeru even after he develops into a louder and bolder presence -- these moments are farther and fewer between, interspersed between him being more fun and free-spirited, but they still color how he handles conflict and difficult/negative thoughts:

i think, ultimately, that it’s a disservice to his character to treat his change in attitude after dropping the inheritance issue as a sudden and easy flip of a switch. he didn’t suddenly lose all that time of being cold, angry, and emotionally repressed -- these traits are still very much a part of him, even if it’s no longer a consistent or persistent persona he portrays.

but, as to why exactly he presents his trauma in a way that machi does not -- that is, why he struggles to see outside of his own perspective, and why he’s cruel to other people rather than himself: his means of self-preservation is to think highly of himself. as a child, it was all he was allowed to do in order to keep ahead of the game he was forced to play.

kakeru is more independent-thinking than machi, and this is where they differ in the manifestation of their trauma, shared as it may be. machi places a lot of blame on herself and constantly sees her own shortcomings in the face of her mother; her trauma manifests as internal (though it should be noted that her displays of aggression are by and large viewed as being intrusive to her peers; kakeru’s aggression is seen similarly, except he’s more intentional about it. he’s aggressive to them on purpose. machi isn’t.)

kakeru and machi both had certain “shortcomings” to battle against in their competition for their father’s inheritance: though machi was the legitimate child, she was younger than kakeru and a girl. though kakeru was the firstborn and a boy, he was illegitimate. machi’s means of dealing with those shortcomings follows the general socialization of young girls -- to be seen as mature, and to be seen as well-behaved and “good,” there’s a general rule of repression to be followed. she did everything her mother told her to do, and kept her opinions and wants to herself. she never acted out, and dealt with her stress in a way that, at worst, was something ultimately harmless: making footprints in the snow because its perfection stressed her out.

kakeru’s means of dealing with these shortcomings more typically follows the socialization of young boys, in that there was an allowance of higher self-focus. while he did was his parents told him and became repressed emotionally, him being able to not only question his place within the competition (“i’m being used as a pawn in someone else’s stupid game”) and then combat against it displays a self-assurance and self-confidence that machi does not possess (important to note, too, is that his illegitimacy actually gave him an out in this situation; while he could be removed from his father and the succession issue rather easily, this wasn’t possible for machi).

while he was successfully removed from the situation, there remained a downside: although now able to grow into a much more open and unabashed personality, he still missed out on the typical milestones of healthy emotional growth as a child and preteen. he was forced to focus on himself and his own successes as a child, and as such, didn’t develop a means to understand or connect with his peers (from what komaki says of him, it seems unlikely that he had friends during his childhood).

and this is where komaki comes in. kakeru, once he’s out of his shell, immediately begins to date komaki. we don’t know why he takes to her, but speculating, it’s possible that he knew of her crush on him, and saw the value of her being kind to him/liking him even when he was a difficult person. it’s likely, too, that his and his mom’s relationship was only in the very beginning stages of being repaired, so to have someone who liked him for him, despite everything, i think was very novel to him. he understands the value of how she feels towards him, and, in turn, becomes very loyal to her.

which, of course, is when he first runs into the issue of realizing that people don’t think through the same lens he does, and don’t necessarily share his thoughts and feelings about a given situation.

this lens was born out of living a childhood where he was only allowed to focus on himself, where he protected himself by focusing on himself, and where his successes were viewed as being the most important aspect of himself. he knows he’s intelligent in the classroom -- but what he doesn’t realize is that that intelligence doesn’t translate whatsoever to how he understands the emotions of his peers. without the emotional connections made between his family and his peers throughout his childhood, he never had the chance to build his emotional intelligence.

the reason why machi (and yuki for that matter, as he was similarly only highly regarded for his status and similarly removed emotionally from his family and peers) don’t have a similar experience lies largely within the issues of self-esteem, control, learned helplessness.

learned helplessness ties to the concept of psychological resilience, which regards how well a person is able to regulate emotions, react, and cope with crisis situations. children, when exposed to adverse situations, are better able to build resilience when they have protective factors (namely good cognitive self-regulation and positive relationships with adults). learned helplessness stems from experiencing repeated adverse situations outside of one’s control, and eventually growing a sense of powerlessness.

machi in particular shows this sense of learned helplessness, as she doesn’t fight back against the adversity she continues to endure. we see this as she doesn’t confront her parents over their misunderstanding, when she’s confronted by the girls at school over what she thinks of yuki or the various rumors that go around about her, and seems to feel powerless over her own destructive reactions. yuki doesn’t show this so much, as he’s learned to become adamant about making his own decisions (choosing his high school, telling his mother that he’s going to be making his own decisions about his future), but his fight against his own self-doubt and sense of powerlessness is still rather fresh to him. it’s a constant battle against himself that he is consciously fighting.

kakeru, on the other hand, never learned this sense of powerlessness. the moment he realized that he was being used, he confronted his mom, and she didn’t fight him back. he was shown that he was in control of his situation; while he experienced adversity as a child in the form of being used, he followed along because he wasn’t in a place to know better (“at first, i obediently went along with it and tried to live up to their demands. ‘cause, you know, when you’re a kid, your parents are everything.”) the control over his own life was handed over to him very easily, once he demanded it.

as a result, kakeru’s self-esteem doesn’t suffer in the same ways that yuki’s and machi’s do. while he was likely lonely as a child, and experienced a sense of loneliness once he realized that other people don’t necessarily share his point of view, he’s put in a position where he has control over his life.

the combination of a high self-esteem, sense of control, and lacking emotional intelligence is ultimately what creates this issue he has in which he not only assumes other people’s perspectives and emotions, but then feels the confidence to act on that assumption.

this combination ultimately is his personal downfall. his journey throughout the story is that of building emotional intelligence -- something that comes rather naturally to a number of the other characters, which is why his difficulty with it can come across as so abrasive to other characters and the reader.

however, it’s crucial to understand that he does realize this is something he has to actively work on. he doesn’t hurt people and ignore it. after hurting komaki (by first hurting tohru), he sets himself on a path to learn how to better see other people’s emotions and sympathize with their situations.

this isn’t an easy position for him to put himself in -- for kakeru, it’s actually quite vulnerable, considering that he’s actually quite private about his personal feelings and relationships with other people (machi, komaki, and tohru specifically). but he understands the worth in understanding, and understands, after some downfalls, that he isn’t above other people’s emotions.

he decides to do the difficult thing because he understands the worth in doing so -- after leading a childhood that was largely lonely and self-focused, it’s integral for him to learn emotional intelligence in order keep these new relationships around. his means of seeking friendships, and meaningful relationships, requires him to do the hard thing and make a conscious, active change in how he perceives the world and his place in it.

#fruits basket #kakeru manabe #machi kuragi #yuki sohma #am i sorry for going tf off? no #i'll spare everyone though and put this under a read more #bc its like. 2k words long.#also i'm sorry if this is at all confusing or incoherent i just have. a LOT of thoughts about this lmao #yunsoh meta #fruits basket spoilers

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captain-emmajones · 4 years

Text

in this life, we do not meet

Soulmate AU: The first curse never happened. Killian died 300 years prior to Emma's birth. They both live a life of loneliness, haunted by a love they never met, until death comes knocking at their door.

in which i made an angsty text post and people requested a fic out of it, hope you guys will like it <33

2000 words 🔱 angst 🔱 ao3

dedicated to my dear friend @b99peraltiago because you’ve always been so supportive of my works i had to write you a gift :’) (sorry it’s not peraltiago :’))

The lyrics in italics come from Sarah Bareilles Once Upon Another Time, I had it on loop while writing and I really recommend it for the mood™️.

ORESTES: Where have I seen you before?

MOIRA: In a dream.

ORESTES: A thousand years ago.

Once upon another time, Before I knew which life was mine,

As Captain Killian Jones stands at the end of his life, on decks of his ship, still terribly proud in spite of everything, the waves tenderly cradling his boat are his last companions.

His crewmen were reluctant to leave him behind. They had all wanted to go down with the ship. With him. He couldn’t allow it.

“You are a part of my crew, mister Smee, and therefore you are also required to leave this ship –”

“— but Captain, I am your first mate –,”

“— I am well aware of that fact, Mister Smee. However, this is my last dying wish: to be left in peace.” To die alone.

His hooked arm guides the ship’s wheel, as always, while he presses a bottle of rum firmly against his lips. To distract himself from this poison inside of him, this hellish burn radiating from his chest – not only loneliness but the poison the Dark One infected him with.

It was yesterday. Or a week ago, difficult to be certain.

A seagull lands in front of him, completely unaware of his inner struggle. She sings.

He had been so close to killing him, after years, and years, and years…. And then she had appeared.

(He thinks he saw her first the day Milah died. Well, he didn’t properly see her.

But, as he lied sobbing in the safety of his own cabin, he did feel the warmth of a hand over his closed fist.

And it had suddenly felt a little less terrible, the hole in his chest, less terrifying the future to come, without her.

Perhaps is there so much loneliness the human heart can take before it begins to manifest something, someone, that doesn’t exist.)

She is an angel he has seen in so many of his dreams, visions, whatever bloody curse he is under.

Back on this very ship, the crocodile had come to taunt him and the blonde woman had begged him not to kill him. She said there would be repercussions beyond this life, and he wanted to believe her. Perhaps there was no other choice but to believe her.

From the first moment he had laid eyes on her, years ago, he had known he was supposed to love her.

Perhaps not in this life. Perhaps one in which he is nobler, better, good.

The burn of a knife plunged into his chest had cut his thoughts short, and he had fallen down on his knees in front of his whole crew.

“Enjoy the ride, dearie! Your death will be slow and painful, just like you made my life when you took away Milah!”

The giggles of the Dark One still echo in his ears, but it is a fight he has definitely lost. It is a fight for the living, and he is dying.

He clenches his jaw as a brighter ray of sunshine plays on his eyelids. He frowns. He is drunk enough to numb the pain in his chest but not this gulf roaring within his throat.

As he is about to die, the sum of Killian Jones’ life is a lot of pain and wickedness.

(There is a tear at the corner of his eyes, one he firmly wipes with his hand.)

Dying alone is, after all, more challenging for the nerves than expected by the brave Captain.

A deep breath, to fill in his lungs with the salty sea air, one he’s loved his entire life.

Perhaps is he not so alone after all.

He has been haunted all his life by this angel of beauty, of love, perhaps of death. As if, maybe – just maybe – things were supposed to end differently.

Bloody nonsense.

A flash of pain. The bottle of rum escapes his hand as his eyes shut in agony, a fire he knows sent from Hell overcoming him. His knees bend down, and his hand tries to hold on to the wooden wheel.

“Bloody hell, can’t it be a quick death?”

He chuckles to himself. What did you expect? The comfort of a loved ones’ arms?

Soon enough, he is unable to see clearly, and his head hits the floor, a muffled sob he isn’t aware of echoing on the ship.

Be quick. Be quick. Be quick.

And then, somehow, as darkness engulfs him and there is nothing but pain, a relief. A cold, white hand on his face – there must some comfort in death.

A smile splits his face open. “Oh, there you are… just in time, love…”

He thinks he sees tears on her face, and his heart screams: someone cares, someone cares,…

One last breath, one last pang of pain, and he is gone.

(When the Jolly Roger is taken back by pirates with bright eyes and hopes, rumor has it that it is now a haunted ship.

The crewmen avoid at all cost to walk along the corridors at night, for a white figure lingers there.

She has blonde hair and translucent eyes and she seems to be waiting for whom will never come back.)

Truly, it is a happy life.

Although King and Queen of Misthaven, Emma’s parents offer her nothing but softness and love. She grows up sheltered by their good heart. (The one they share).

Oh, she does live a good life – one of very few heartaches.

(The few she endures are fighting against Regina, but it is never a lonely fight. Emma’s light magic is too powerful for the Evil Queen and she bends the knee. They evict her from the kingdom.)

Except perhaps when she wakes up covered in sweat, heart about to explode in her chest, eyes filled with tears, and she aches for whom she cannot reach.

It is not for a lack of trying. She feels like she’s dreamed of him her entire life.

Her mother has a knowing smile when she confesses her worries. Together, they decide to create an enchantment to find him, whoever he is.

(His eyes are of a forget-me-not blue, his hair of a dark brown, and there is so much pain in the absent smile he paints upon his face.

She wants to save him. Little does she know she is too late.)

It is truly a good life, except for that one moment, maybe, when she finds herself near the sea and she thinks she has finally found him and she discovers a tombstone with his name on it.

(“How can you tell it’s really him?” her mother asks.

She finds no shame in her heart when she replies: “He told me in a dream.”)

If she can make out anything in between her tears, it is the date: 1755 - 1789.

“He’s been dead for three hundred years,” she whispers in this foggy morning, one hand over the marble.

The sea breeze is cruel against her cheeks.

“Some things are just not meant to be”, Snow White tries to comfort her.

There is a moan that she muffles against her palm. But we were.

Being brought up in this environment of true love and happily ever after makes this burn over her heart even more painful.

(The pain comes from the birthmark she’s got under her breast, the shape of a knife enchanted with poison.)

But it is a good life.

It is however a short one.

The birthmark seems to infect itself, and the poison takes her over in a week.

Their princess is twenty-eight-year old when Snow White and Prince Charming lose her forever.

Killian Jones has always been a man of action and this after-life is a long agony of waiting.

Tik tok, tik tok,… Times flies but never towards the future.

At least, there’s still rum.

Rum has no taste back there, but there is a comfort in the habit.

One look at the clock. 8:15. The time of his death. As always. He drinks a mouthful of rum, waits for the burn that doesn’t come.

It is incredibly lonely there. It never gets more comfortable, warmer, it is forever dull and cold.

He is sitting in Granny’s when the air shifts. The door opens, and he instinctively looks up from his drink.

And then, a miracle occurs: the clock ticks forward.

There she is.

After all these years. He swallows down, tries to remain composed. His heart is about to burst out of his chest. The woman of his dreams is wrapped up in a dark red dress, a crown on her head, and void in her green eyes.

His blood becomes cold as his gaze meets hers and something within him urges him to stand up.

Welcome her.

There’s a flash of light in her eyes and he knows she recognizes him too.

“Killian,…”

It is awful to hear his name in the mouth of someone who cares for him, after all these years of heartache.

It is freeing.

The ghost haunting him for centuries is finally in front of him, in the flesh, and they are both dead.

A smile. “Well, I sure as hell have been waiting for you, your grace.”

Her smile then doesn’t reach her eyes but does break his heart.

“So, you are a royal lady?” a roll of his eyes.

He is playful to hide his discomfort.

They are both sitting outside of Granny’s, echoes of once upon another time dancing all around them.

She’s gazing at the furniture, surely taken aback, and no vision allowed him to fully grasp a glimpse of her beauty. Nor her kindness.

“Was,” she smiles, looks up at him and dives into his eyes.

She takes his breath away.

“And you are a pirate?” she enquires back, playfully.

Something hurts, in his chest. His blood turns cold. “That I am.” He is disappointing her.

You disappoint everybody.

“Well, my mother was a thief,” she quickly adds, she is perceptive.

Tough lass.

He smiles at her. And it is terribly tempting to fall in love with her in the blink of an eye.

As things turn out, she is so willing to love him and he is unable to believe he deserves that kind of love.

“I’ve known you my entire life,” she assures him as they sit on a bench by the underworld sea.

She wants to reach for his hand but he is cold and distant and terrified.

The air in this goddamn hell is unbreathable, and perhaps is it because they are not supposed to be breathing. It constantly smells of smoke and ashes, and she still smells like her old self, vanilla and cinnamon, and hope.

“You don’t get it,” he mumbles, remains as far as he possibly can on this tiny bench. He stares at his knuckles. And exhales: “You were the only flicker of light in an ocean of darkness.”

So many times, the only reason he had hold on to life was her face under the sky of a starless night.

A pause. “But I never deserved hope.”

I never deserved you.

She surely doesn’t expect him to believe he is a villain. In her visions, she has never seen one. She’s only seen somebody incredibly lonely.

She knows she cannot save him unless he wants her to.

She understands. He wasn’t raised with tales of true love and happy endings – and for heaven’s sake they are both dead and their skin is cold, but lord is her heart beating for him in spite of everything.

He’s waited three centuries. She can at least wait for the rest of eternity.

It takes a lot of patience, and kindness, and affection, to melt the ice around Killian Jones’ heart.

Hades doesn’t help her, mind you, is quite determined to keep them both in the Underworld.

“We can move on,” she tells him, still by the sea, “Together. Start over on the other side. Be happy.”

He nods. It isn’t much, but it does give her hope.

And when she grabs his hand, he lets her.

It is a very bright light, moving on. For the first time in this life, they do so hand in hand, ready to face all of eternity together.

But mostly, I believed in yellow lights, and tire marks. Sun-kissed skin and handle bars, And where I stood was where I was To be… No enemies to call my own, No porch light home to pull me home, And where I was is beautiful Because I was free.

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fanfics #my stuff #so i kinda wrote everything today #i did i wrote everything today #i apologize for any typo #my french brain is tired #hope you guys will like what i came up with #dont hesitate to leave a comment i live of them :')))#amy babbles #tbh this premise deserved a multichapter but i do not have the courage to do so #i am completely unable to write more than 2 thousand words #if anyone is down to take over this universe tho #please do so

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aspiestvmusings · 3 years

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WV1: PARALLELS

Parallels, Callbacks, Foreshadowing...

SUPER LONG POST!

PARALLELS, CALLBACKS, REFERENCES

...WITHIN WV + MCU + TO OTHER TV/FILM

Wanda/SW doing “astral projection” - reading a book while “another her” is making tea at the same time VS Dr. Srange astral projecting himself in his film as he was studying.

Wanda sitting on the porch in the countryside after everyone calls her a villain after her actions VS Thanos in his countryside cottage after the snap. Smilar aesthetic VS Hulk going to a cottage in the middle of nowhere at the end of rhe 2008 film to reflect on the damge he did + learn about his powers.

Wanda vs Agatha VS Tony vs Thanos: Agatha cheering that she has won, ready to direct her power (Wanda’s power she “drank”) against/at Wanda & then nothing happens has the exact same energy as 2014-Thanos snapping and just the hollow noise happening... The realization of the villain that their opponent has outsmarted them, using tricks (”magic”) - misdirection. If you’re not powerful enough or don’t have as much knowledge as the other, you can still win...because misdirection works. All those powerful & evil characters have one thing in common = they think they are “inevitable”, but they always fall for the tricks played on them. In here knowledge is not “power”, but weakness as it overboosts the villains confidence. Flourish!

I want to break free... Hex Vision wanting to get out of the hex & free from Wanda’s “mind control” (she can’t control him, but she tried). He wants to find answers, and help people in 1x06 VS White Vision after regaining his memories (but most likely not his soul & humanity & connection to Wanda) wants to get away, to break free of Hayward’s mind control (hence letting other Vision unlock his memories). He most likely wants to find answers, and help himself & others....

In ep 2 Vision's (stage name: Illusion) magician in their magic act uses the word "Flourish"" as his magic word [instead of abracadabra] before/after every trick VS In 1x09 Jimmy Woo says "Flourish!" after he uses the magician trick (he learned from Scott Lang) to free himself from cuffs. It is a reference to Jimmy watching "WandaVision" & hearing Vision say that because, as WAnda points out, you don't say the word out loud when doing your magic tricks. Hence it’s not a reference to just Jimmy being a magician..since Antman film, but to that ep 2.

In episode 2 Vision as "Illusion" wears a cape as part of his magician outfit VS part of the real Vision's outfit is a cape! (that he originally added to his costume in AoU after seeing Thor’s costume & cape)

The show starts with Wanda & Vision arriving to WV in 1950s as characters & doing everything they can to hide their identity and powers from everyone. Being afraid that everyone finds out about their secret... [until they start to realize that somethings wrong & what Wanda did...] VS The whole family walking through WV as themselves...in their superhero outfits. Not hiding the true selves from anyone. Coming in terms of who they are. Works both as MCU development & reference to sitcom development of how “ideals” have been portrayed on screen.

Wanda's birthing screams & energy spending: Wanda "giving birth" to Vision in ep 8 flashback VS Wanda giving birth to the twins in ep 3. I feel like in a way her subconcious was reminding her of the "birthing pains".

Wanda mind controlling Agatha - giving her “nightmares” in WV ep 1x09 = is so similar to how she mindcontrolled Tony in AoU...giving him “nightmares”. Sneaking up on them... VS what Agatha did to Wanda in ep 8 looked similar...she “mind contolled her” and showed her a story...she wanted her to see (her origins...) Both mentioned that it was easy to do, because the controlled person was so full of doubts that it didn’t tke anything to make them “see things”...

Vision telling Wanda in a past film that he wants everyone to see her the way he does (the way Monica does in WV) - that she is not simply a villain, not someone to be afraid of like the WV people are after the hex, as the world was after Lagos... VS The Hex! Vision telling her that "I just wanted to see you” & “and there you are”... at the beginning of their goodbye scene as the hex goes down...

Wanda & Visions final goodbye scene being them standing in front of a window ...the end of their journey together VS The Wanda/Vision scene in Scotland...the first scene that reveals their relationship to viewers...is also of them standing in front of the window... Visual Parallels

WV series setting up the next decade/phase looks a lot like IM films setting up first decade/phase. Both more character centered & more character driven spries & journeys. Personally...my favourite kind. WV setting up Wandas journey VS IM setting up Tony’s journey. Question is... will she choose the “hero” or the “villain” path. Go Tony’s route, or opposite? Time will tell.

In ep 9 when Wanda throws a car at Agatha & goes to check on her, we only see her/the witches boots under the car VS The classic image of the Wicked Witch of the West’s boots/shoes under the rubble in Wizard of Oz.

Visions co-worker, Jones says: "I wore a turtleneck" in episode 1x02, when Mr. Hart is firing him VS Vision wearing a turtleneck as they say goodbye to the kids & to one another in 1x09

In ep 8 flashback to the day Wanda arrived at Westview, and was driving throgh the town, she saw the people she cast in supporting roles in her show. Among them was Jones' (Harold), who was putting up an add on the billboard about teaching piano lessons VS In ep 2 Jones was playing the piano during his performance on the talent show.

Wanda driving through WestView as she first arives in reality - the town & the people seem in a non-happy state (people alone & depressed, town in ruins, she alone) in 1x08 flashback VS Wanda & Vision driving through WestView as they first arrive in the TV freality (everyone fake-happy & not alone, buildings & businesses flourishing in 1x01

Vision as the magician Illusion using the phrase "fllourish!" for his magic tricks (that Agatha messes up & Wanda corrects) in the TV-freality in 1x02 VS Wanda after seeing the state of the town & people (that to her seem like her own experience) making the place flourish (alive again)! in1x08 flashback

In episode 1 Agatha introduces Wanda to the womens magazine named "Glamorous" as there is an article there about "seduction tecniques". They read the article/magazine together...Agnes plan to trick Wanda into creating kids VS In episode 3 we see Wanda reding the same magazine (but a different edition...now from 1970s) as she relaxes on the sofa while the hoover is cleaning the house by itself. [PS. The title of the womens magazine in eps 1 & 3 nd Wandas stage name Glamour in ep 2 are actually references to the words other meaning... magic]

In 1x01 Vision tells his boss Mr. Hart that no, he does not have a skeleton, when he's asked if he has a skeleton in his closet VS In the 1x02 sitcom opening credits we see Vision go through walls & floor/ceiling. As he moves downstairs from the closet we see wht appears to be a spider/a villains mask & spiderwebs there. And... bones.

When Monica blips back in the 1x04 flashback scene she encounters a doctor/person in the hallway who says to her "Do you have a phone? I have to call my wife" VS In episode 1x05, when Vision unlocks Norm's mind from Wanda's control, one of the things he says is "Where's my phone? I have to call my sister. (She's taking care of our dad. He's sick)." [and we remember fro Endgame that after being bipped back everyone wanted to call their loved ones...as the 1st thing they did...]

Wanda throwing a car, her car, at Agatha (when she can't use her power directly againt her) to stop her in 1x09 VS Wanda throwing a car at Iron Man/Tony in CA:CW to stop him.

In ep 8 Agatha tells Wanda "And here you are (making breakfast for dinner)" VS In ep 9 Vision tells Wanda at the start of their final goodbye scene "And there you are."

In ep 1 the Harts comment that Wanda made "breakfast for dinner" when they see the food prepared for this surprise event VS In ep 8 when Agatha is holding the twins on a leash she mocks Wanda for using her super powers on simple things like that, saying "...and here you are making breakfast for dinner"

In 1x01 Vision saves the day by calling Wanda covering the bosses eyes with her hands " a traditional sokovian greeting" when she thinks she's welcoming her husband home VS in the 1x08 flashback to her childhood we see that her mother covers her eyes with her hands the same way. Yet another subconcious detail from her real life.

We learned during the ep 8 flashback to her childhood that Wanda’s powers manifested (probability hex) at age 10. It mightve been the first time she “properly” used her magic abilities VS When Billy & Tommys powers manifesting (Billy: mind reading + “seeing the future” & Tommy: speed) in more concrete way when they are 10 -year-olds... PS. 10 = X (roman numerals) = X-gene (mutants)

In ep 1 Wanda says “my husband and his indestructible head” (as a comic lline)...but VS Vision’s destructed head... aka Thanos ripping the Mind Stone out of Vision’s head in 3: IW, and in doing so “destructing his head” PS. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME TO ADD THIS ONE, @ecstaticreverie

Ms. Hart keeps saying "Stop it!" (with more & more concerned voice) as Mr. Hart chokes in 1x01 VS Wanda keeps saying "Stop it!" (with more & more concerned voice) when she sees Visions body being dismantled...like a machine in the 1x08 flashback.

The Mind-Stone shape: The hexagonal shape of the Mind Stone in Vision’s head VS The shape of the Mind stone painted on the “cabinet of mysteries” in ep 2 used for their magic act VS The mind’stone shaped detail in the center of Wanda’s new Scarlet Witch costume’s “collar” PS. THANKS FOR REMINDING ME TO ADD THIS ONE, @ecstaticreverie

During the 1x08 flashback scene to a time after the events of A1: AoU we see Vision enter Wanda's room at the Avengers compund through the wall, instead of the door, d then they have a meaningful conversation about grief. VS In the movie CA:CW we see Vision enter her room through the wall...instead of the open door... as Wanda & Steve are talking about the events of Lagos...This is where Wanda says "Vis, we've talked about this [entering though door instead a wall]"

During the ep 3 sitcom opening credits we see Vision build a swingset for the kids-to-be, but it falls apart VS During the ep 8 flashback therapy scene at Avengers compound Wanda & Vision are watching Bryan Cranstons character on a sitcom on TV build something & it falls apart (falls on him, hurting him...and Vision asks qhy it's funny)

Vision quoting Shakespeare in WV 1x02: “All the world’s a stage & all the men & women merely players..” VS a role in a Shakespeare play mention related to Trevor Slattery in IM3

In ep 4 one of the specialists in the truck tells Darcy (after she tries to question him) "We'e not supposed to talk" VS In ep 7 Wanda tells the director/person [Agatha all along] behind the camera "You’re not supposed to talk", when during her sitcom a voice from behind the camera replies to her.

Darcy’s fist & last scene had similar energy. We first see Darcy in a militay vehicle, on the way to the hex base. She comments that “we got a full cown car”, when she realizes they’re bringing on top experts from every field. VS When Wanda’s expanding hex traps the base everything is turned into a circus...and agents into clowns etc. VS Darcy uses the “clown car” to stop Hayward. She rams his military vehicle as he tries to flee with the funnel ytruck/clown car (it’s changed shape, but since it in reality the same kind of miitary vehicle it can stop Haywards car)

In ep 5 Hayward "shoots" at the kids & Wanda, when he lets his guys take over the drone Monica is using & fires a weapon at the family VS In ep 9 Hayward actually shoots the kids (from a gun), when Wanda puts the twins in charge of dealing with the military.

Hayward asking Jimmy about Wanda’s superhero name in ep 5: “No funny nickname?” VS "...and that makes you The Scarlett Witch" - Agatha "giving" her the funny superhero nickname in 1x08. Only...in this context it seems more like royal title than a superhero nickname.

Wanda giving Vision the meat tenderizer (it looks like a small hammer) & him holding it in WV ep 1x01 VS Vision lifting & giving Thor's hammer (Mjölnir) to Thor in A2: AoU

Episode 1 ends with Wanda creating wedding rings for them..from "nothing" VS Episode 9 ends with the wedding ring on her finger being the last thing that disappears after she's taken down the hex & "re-absorbed" the energy of the Mind Stone she created him from. We can still see the ring on her finger a moment after the yellow has disappeared...and then that's gone, too

The newstories on the screens et SWORD lobby are all about the snapped people being blipped back & families reunited & celebrating etc during both Wanda's visit we see in ep 8 flashback AND Monica's visit we see in ep 4 flashback. [Wanda's visit happened earlier, but the door had been replaced before Monica's visit... that had to be next day...no later]

During a flashback memory scene in ep 8 to a time when Wanda was a volunteer for Hydra we see her watching a tv show/sitcom "The Brady Bunch" on TV where a little girl with blonde hair in braids is putting her doll to sleep VS In episode 3 when Vision on practicing changing diapers he's doing it on a (girl) doll with braids..tied with similar red bows as the girl/character on TV. The same exact doll.

Wakanda is located inside a giant protective dome/bubble - an "invisible" energy field protects it & the barrier stops intruders VS Wanda creates a giant protective dome/bubble (hex-shaped) around WestView - an "invisible" energy field that stops people from entering or exiting...

The “fallen/hurt/dying pose” parallels: Vision in A3: IW after Thanos killed him VS Vision in WV ep 1x06/1x07 after exiting the hex & falling apart VS Monica in WV ep 1x03 /1x04 after being thrown out from the hex VS Nat in A4:E after falling on Vormir… #VisualParallels

When Agnes introduces hersef to the new neighbours she brings a plants as a housewarming gift in WV episode 1x01 VS This is the first things that glitches in episode 1x07 as Wanda “loses control” of reality

SNAPS: "Sugar Snaps" is the name of the breakfast cereal Wanda eats in 1x07 VS “SNAP” is part of the add on the billboard in WV 1x08 flashback scene when the hex take sover the city VS Thanos snapping his fingers in A3: IW & wiping half of he universe "out of existence" VS Agatha snaps her fingers in 1x08 when she disappears from the audience seats VS In ep 1 Agnes says that “this menu can be done in a snap” to Wanda

The heart drawn on the wall calendar on the date Friday, August 23rd was an abbreviation & was referring to Vision's boss & his wife coming to dinner in 1x01... when neither could remember the significance of the heart or date. Also... "Who needs to abbreviate?" (when theyre both superheroes) VS The heart Vision drew on the property deed of the land he bought for them. Next to the text "to grow old in" - V. (abbreviating his name) in the 1x08 flshback VS The heart on the calendar on the Date Wednesday the 10th in the opening credits for Wandas sitcom freality in 1x07 VS The heart on top of a building in the 1x02 episode sitcom intro

In ep 8 flashback Wanda says "I can't feel you", when he cannot read/feel Vision & the Mind stone (connection) as she is trying to connect to the dissected parts of Visions physical form/body VS In A3:IW when Wanda is trying to read the Mind Stone during the scene at the hotel in Scotland, she says "I just feel you" (not what the stone is trying to warm him about) VS In A3: IW as Wanda is about to destroy the Mind Stone & Vision along with it, he tels her to not worry, cause she could never hurt her, and adds "I just feel you"

In ep 9 when Wanda meets White Vision he puts his hands around Wanda's face, and she in her delusion expects that this is her Vision & he's just doing "their thing" (when they can share a "mindstone link" like that), but instead this machine starts squeezing her face/skull...because it has been given the order to destroy/kill Wanda VS In the end of episode 9 as Wanda & Hex Vision are saying goodbye she puts her hands around his face (doing "their thing"...trying to feel him as long as possible...as his face is the last thing to disappear with the hex) and doing so lovingly.

In ep 7 Monica lands the "hero landing" after Wanda "throws" her into the air VS In ep 9 Wanda lands the "hero landing" when Hex Vision attacks White Vision who is trying to crush Wanda's skull VS In ep 9 Hex Vision lands the "hero landing" when both visions fall to the gground & create a crater into a road.

In the ep 8 flashback Wanda descibes her grief as "I'm so tired. It's just ike this wave washing over me...again & again. It knocks me down, and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And...its just gonna drown me." to Vision VS Monica describing the feeling she felt under Wanda's mind control in the hex as "There was this feeling keeping me down. This hopeless feeling. Like drowning. It was grief."

When Vision was born in AoU he flew to the window....and saw reflection of himself. This is how his journey in MCU in this form began VS The scene with Wanda & Vision saying goodbye by the window in ep 9 starts with Vision moving to the window (before Wanda joins him) to look at the hex world shrinking outside & seeing his own reflection on the glass). His last scene in this form was a direct parallel to his first scene(s). #visualparallels

Wanda & Vision saying goodbye...to say hello again some time & some place at the end of WV 1x09 (the scene by the window is similar to the scene we were introduced to the couple) VS Wanda & Vision at the beginning of A3: IW having a conversation by the window, in Scotland (the "I just feel you" scene) #visualparallels

In episode 2 when the sitcom world goes from b&w to colour, the camera circles around Wanda & Vision...making a 360 degree trip around the room VS In episode 9 as Wanda & Hex Vision are saying their final goodbyes in the saem living room the camera circles around them...doing several 360 degree circles around the room...as Wanda/the hex takes down the house layer/decade by layer/decade... #visualparallels

Wanda & Vision family watching TV every night before going to bed in Wanda's TV freality on WV VS Wanda watching TV with her family in Sokovia - the last happy memory before trauma hit her (1x08 flashback scene) VS Wanda & Vision first bonding at the Avengers compound whilw watching TV together (1x08 flashback scene). He's learning "being human" with her help & she's learning about dealing with her trauma.

In ep 8, when Agatha takes down the "walk on memory lane" illusion & Wanda finds herself in her basement, she hears her twins [Billy & Tommy] calling for her "Mom!" because Agatha has kidnapped them... VS In the post end credits scene when we see Wanda make herself a cup of tea + read the Darkhold at the same time, we/she hears her twins [Billy & Tommy] call for her "Mom!" It is not revealed if she's just having a "nightmare" of that moment from ep 8 or is she imagining it, or is she hearing them for real...calling from somewhere [other dimension]

Vision's plan was for them to move from big city to a small town, build a house & start a family/life together. Grow old together (even if he as a synthezoid presumbly doesn't grow old like Wanda as human would. Though maybe his human form could & perhaps she as Nexus being/witch can/will live for centuries..but they didn't know it back then?) as he had planned their life together in IW (making me suspicious if they got engaged or something...) as revealed in WV 1x08 flashback to the property deed that lead Wanda to WestView VS Wanda creating a sitcom world where decades change...she literally created an alternate reality where they live his plan for them..they grow old together..in a small town... as seen throughout the WV show...

Wanda seeing Vision dressed as the WV character, but looking exactly like when he died in A3: IW w. the mindstone ripped out... in WV 1x04 VS Wanda seeing Fietro dressed as the WV character, but looking exactly like when he died in A2AoU w. the bulletholes in the shirt in WV 1x06 VS Peter seeing Tony as an Iron-Zombie rising from the grave in the illusion Mysterio created to play tricks on him in SM2: FFH

Wanda seen as "evil” by her castmates..when she thought she did nothing wrong. She did not understand her power & as a byproduct she hurt others...unintentionaly & unknowingly...and now seen as the villian by WV people & world...more. VS Agatha seen as bad by her coven...when she thought she did nothing wrong. But she was messing with power that she didn’t fully understand. The question here is will Wanda’s journey ahead copy Agathas or will it be the opposite? Will she choose to go toward “good” or “evil” path? Agatha’s own mother did not believe she could be good. “I can be good.” / “No you cant.” Wanda had Vision, who had always seen the good in her & she had Monica, who could she the good in her, too. As Vision once said: “I wish to understant it (the Mind Stone). The more I understand it, the less it controls me.” If we adopt this to Wanda & replace stone with her power, this is a powerful lesson...that she’s carrying his message within her. He keeps being her moral compass even if not physically there...the memories remain. Vision’s "Be good, Wanda.” combined with the other truths he’s told her as her moral compass might and possibly will help her learn from Agatha’s mistakes. Because at the end of WV she chose the ”good side”, like Tony did at the end of IM. So I see them not copying her journey from comics, but making it a bit different. While in Agatha the book overpowered her, Wanda will overpower the book. Time wlll tell which route they actually chose for her. Wanda & Agatha - analysis TBA

Wanda in WV finale...as her character journey starts saying “you don’t get to say who I am... I decide that” mimics Tony’s character journey start, when he says “I am Iron Man” - he makes the decision to decide who he is, define himself (everyone was caling him a superhero, Iron Man...but he then took how everyone perceived him in his new role & made it his own). VS Carols’ origin story - she chose to “stand up” & define herself VS Monica’s origins story - she decided who she was & didnt let the Hex chnge her. VS What we see with (White) Vision also references this kind of, cause this new re-born Vision comes to a realization on who he is "I am Vision” Wanda & Tony - analysis TBA

THE END

There are many more, but those are the ones I first noticed & the ones I remembered to write down.

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kheta · 4 years

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The Lesbian One

SakuHina head canon where the dark haired, noble clan inheriting child she falls in love with is Hinata instead of Sasuke.

Bullies were making fun of Sakura for her forehead and Hinata said, through bright red blushes that she thinks Sakura is the prettiest girl Hinata knows, other than her Mother.

This gives Sakura self-confidence of doom and she doesn’t care about her looks anymore because suck on that, kind, cool Hinata thinks she’s the prettiest girl around!

Sakura giving Hinata the support she deserves.

Hinata being grateful and always reminding Sakura how cool Sakura is.

Hinata still being shy, but working on her shyness because there’s no way Sakura doesn’t praise the very ground her crush walks on.

“HINATA-CHAN! YOU DID IT! YOU’RE SO AWESOME! Isn’t she awesome Ino????”

Academy Arc:

Hinata told Sakura she wanted to be a strong shinobi like her father, but kind like her mother and Sakura heard “I wanna be the strongest ninja out!” To make sure her crush succeeds in her goals, Sakura promised to be the best kunoichi ever, so her and Hinata could be equals.

She studies to be the top kunoichi of her year and trains with Hinata a lot, complementing Hinata for every hit she makes and drowns Hinata in support.

Sakura hates Naruto. With a passion, nothing to do with Naruto being Naruto and everything to do with Hinata crushing on him. This hate manifests in her declaring them rivals.

Sakura is 100% the type to wonder why her rivals an idiot and to feel frustrated that an idiot like Naruto makes Hinata blush or laugh. The angrier she is the more she demands to spar him in taijutsu, they both get dramatically good at it.

Sakura because if Naruto drags a fight to stamina he’d totally win, so she figures she needs to get stronger with her form, finish the fight sooner. Naruto because he’s always been a hands on person and kata’s don’t make any sense to him, but whatever Sakura-chan does works for her, so he doesn’t mind copying her. Plus, Sakura's scary strong when she wants to be and Naruto makes a point of not getting hit from her.

Naruto becomes the fastest ninja in their year...Whenever Sakura’s involved. Not even Sasuke can catch him when he’s running from Sakura and he’s tried, it’s good practice.

Hinata once made an off-handed remark when she was training that Naruto has some pretty large chakra coils and Sakura’s been trying to increase her chakra coils since. (Muttering, “Stupid Naruto can barely hold a kunai right without me having to smack him sideways but he’s the one Hinata compliments?”) Moral is Sakura makes him a very competent ninja, but only because she’s like “An idiot like you can’t even aim properly, look at me, I’m better! Shifting my weight properly, unlike you!” and Naruto just copies her because to prove people wrong is in his blood and if she can do it, then all he has to do is copy her to do it better.

Unfortunately she can’t do much for his chakra control in the academy.

Everyone at the academy except Ino and Shikamaru thinks Sakura likes Sasuke because once she during an argument with Ino she screamed that “DON’T BE STUPID I LIKE” Pointed at Hinata, who happened to be with Sasuke. She didn’t finish the sentence because she looked at Hinata when she pointed and Hinata smiled and she melted.

Sasuke figures out Sakura doesn’t like him when he notices she blushes around Hinata more than him and this one time Hinata dropped one of her salves, so he gave it back to her the next day in class and the glare she gave him was telling.

As long as you’re not Hinata, Sakura has no problem expressing her crush. When Hinata’s around she never says I like you Hinata, but her actions are telling.

Sakura and Ino are still best friends because only Ino wants Sasuke and they only fight when Ino says Sasuke is better than Hinata.

Ino gets way better at taijutsu as well, because if her best friends going to be the strongest kunoichi then hell no is Ino gonna get left behind.

It gets to a point where Inoichi’s like “Ino darling you don’t need to be so serious about taijutsu, you know how we Yamanaka fight” and Ino’s like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HELL NO IS SAKURA GONNA BE STRONGER THAN ME, I REFUSE TO BE PROTECTED BY HER!!!!”

Genin Arc:

Hinata is an oblivious eggplant and thinks Sakura is just a very supportive friend.

Kiba, “She asked you to live happily with her as the strongest kunoichi in the future,”

Hinata, eyes sparkling, “Yeah isn’t it cool, I’m so lucky to have such a supportive friend with me.”

Kiba ships Hinata and Happiness (it’s canon guys) so he’s Sakura’s biggest wingman but Hinata manages to turn every cute, romance-y moment they have into a friend thing.

Kiba could see Sakura’s crush from a mile away, it wasn’t until the Chunin exams that he realised they weren’t dating though. This is when he begins being Sakura’s wingman.

Scene:

Kiba looks over at Hinata, “You know...If we meet Sakura and them in this exam, I won’t let you hold back. We’ve worked too hard for your feelings to stop us and if she’s the enemy, we face her.”

Hinata smiles softly at Kiba and stammers out, “I’d never do that, Sakura-chan would hate it if I held back against her, as her friend I will fight her with my all!”

“I do not believe Kiba means your feelings as her friend? Why? Because it is clear he is speaking of the deeper connection you two share.”

“Ano– Ino-san is her best friend, though Sakura-chan and I are certainly good friends.”

Cue two more minutes of them tryna coax Hinata to admit her and Sakura have something before they realise Hinata doesn’t know about Sakura’s crush and looking at each other in amazement because like. Now that they’re genin, Sakura is way less subtle because she misses Hinata and wtf, how had Hinata not realised yet?

Also Sakura wins her fight with Ino bc Ino’s strong af but she doesn’t have any concrete goal in mind, she’s just getting strong to be Sakura’s equal and Sakura’s like ‘giiiirl I’m tryna be the strongest to protect my wife you hear!’

When Sakura meets Neji she understands what true hatred is and it’s only Kakashi’s warning her that Hinata would hurt more if she jumped in that stopped her from trying to fight him. She doesn’t speak to Kakashi for the whole month she trains, trying to justify if Hinata’s pride was worth her life.

She totally trains with Gai for that month because Kakashi is lazy and Gai was around and Sakura is hella strong, she just needs motivation like Gai!

Hinata still has a big fat crush on Naruto until shippuden and when she canon confesses and nearly dies, Sakura confesses to her and says shit like “You don’t have to love me/ I’ve accepted that you won’t, no matter how hard I try. But as your friend I want you to promise, you won’t ever do something so reckless. I don’t wnt to lose you Hinata. You’re my special person I can’t lose you.”

Hinata is 140% confused and then like. She just notices Sakura. How fucking cool and kind she is and she’s always appreciated Sakura and thought she was beautiful but. She’s never really looked at those arms and damn are they defined. And her smile just makes Hinata feel at ease?

There’s no big crisis for Hinata, she realises quite quickly she’s getting feels for her bff but like shes Hinata. Sakura confesses a crush she’s had for years on this girl with the self confidence of a potato chip and said potato chip pines bc shes an idiot potato

everyone is Big Mad, even fucking Naruto

hes like ‘girl i cant like u. its against the bro code, pls talk to my bff’ and hinata is thinking ‘i know u ass. i just cant tho. shes legit perfection and ive hyped her up my whole life even if we like eavh other it wont work and family and a motherfuckn war’

Gaiden Arc:

THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER OKAY! STRONGEST KUNOICHI COUPLE EVER! 10/10 ADORED BY EVERYONE. HINATA ISN’T CLAN HEAD BUT SHE’S ONE OF THE BEST DIPLOMATS IN TOWN, SAKURA IS THE TOP HEALER AND THEY’RE BOTH BLACK OPS MEMBERS. HINATA TRAINS ANBU IN INFILTRATION AND SAKURA TAKES THEM IN MEDICAL STUDIES. THEY ARE HAPPY ASF

#sakuhina #headcanon #hinata hyuuga #sakura haruno #im bored and going thru my drafts #big gay mood #i dont even care about what i find at this stage #if it sits untouched in any of my drafts #imma post #naruto headcanons #naruto

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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

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Yaaasss!!! Jelous Ben was si cuteee and we love a supportive mother, her mom is fantastic and a savage. I hace a question, how did you come up with reader's character in x-men?? I legit googled it as I thought it was a real character, so welk done.

i love her mum so fuckin much, dude, she’s supportive but can still be embarrassing at times. i wrote her, not like my actual mum, but like my dad now that i think about it. dude literally told me over the phone that he’d physically fight people for shittalking me (not just in general, there’s more context, but the point still stands). idk i think it’s disingenuous to not let parental characters have certain flaws, like they’re allowed to be overprotective and spiteful, as well as caring and supportive. i love her too.

oH SHIT DUDE LEMME TALK ABT MY GIRL CASSIDY TEMPLE I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND I”VE PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO HER THAT THIS WILL HAVE A READ MORE

so cassidy’s powers are actually based off of an xmen oc i’ve already written 70k about, Aoibheal Cassidy, younger sister of Banshee, Sean Cassidy, and Cassidy Temple’s name is a reference to her, since originally I was going to essentially have Y/N playing Aoibheal (because it’s my fic and i can include an homage to my xmen oc as a treat). the powers themselves are based loosely on Multiple Man from X-Men: The Last Stand, except Cassidy’s clones can’t live a life of their own like his can. In the xmen fic, aoibheal starts off with having unlimited clones, and they can explode because i thought it was neat tbh.

From the original fic, Molotov Heart, chapter 3, rubatosis:

[Context; humans experimenting on mutants between X-Men First Class and X-Men Days Of Future Past have caught Sean and Aoibheal and they experiment on them even though Aoibheal’s powers have not manifested (she is approximately 13) and they kill her brother in front of her]:

Stunned into silence, she can feel something white-hot building inside of her, all the rage and fear and pain becoming almost tangible.

She mutates.

Copies of Aoibheal, clones, appear around them, filling up the space between the now screaming and bewildered 'doctors'. Aoibheal herself doesn't seem to notice the clones, bawling her eyes out, an action the clones themselves are mirroring, and she thinks of nothing but freedom and escape, focusing on the white-hot feeling inside of her until it overwhelmed her. With the force of a bunker-buster bomb, the clones began to combust, began to explode, first a few, and then all at once. Killing the human personel who had kept her hostage, the blast reduced the warehouse to mere cinders, freed Aoibheal and left her clothing in tatters, but she was alive damn it.

The reason Cassidy has a limited number is because i needed a way to have her powered up as a horseman, like a distinct power up, rather than just something unseen like heightened reflexes and strength.

I would like to point out also, that it’s not stated, but Cassidy’s explosions (NOT AOIBHEAL’s) are never to do with heat, they’re always about force. the explosions themselves are never hot, never have anything to do with fire or anything like that, she builds up force inside of the clones, and lets it tear her apart from the inside out as a wave that destroys the things it comes into contact with.

The scream was originally hereditary, like Banshee, it developed as her secondary mutation.

From the Marvel Wiki:

The Secondary Mutation (or "Second Mutation") is a phenomenon in which an existing mutant undergoes another mutation, gaining additional powers, such as healing, or a change in appearance.

Secondary mutation is noted as the appearance of new powers, or an increase in existing powers.

It was stated by Beast that the secondary mutations usually occurred in the twenties of the subjects, and generally appeared in time of great stress.

From the original fic, chapter 8, nodus tollens:

The appearance of the secondary mutation:

The world falls apart in a blur of movement. The gun goes off just after Raven jumps and makes a break for the window, the bullet curves as she crashes through the glass, following her on the way down. Tackling Erik earns Hank a mean right hook to the jaw, but Aoibheal’s there, looking at Trask like a dear in the headlights, memories whipping through her head like a hurricane - the sick fuck looks pleased to see her – her mouth falls open and she screams. She and the clone scream in tandem, their voices supersonic as the surrounding people clutched their ears for dear life; struggling to keep a hold of the feeling in her chest that caused her to explode, the clone detonates like a firework, scorching the wallpaper while Trask is stumbling to the door. There’s blood leaking from his ears but Aoibheal can’t move, can only scream and relive the memory of her brother’s murder over and over again.

Hank discussing it:

"I've never seen a secondary mutation so vastly different!" No longer blue or furry, [Hank’s] smile is excited as he looks over at her. Sharing the cockpit feels almost familiar by now, with Aoibheal curled up in the passenger seat nursing a glass of water. "It makes sense though, your original mutation – the explosions – would be an extension of your temperature immunity, but your secondary mutation is hereditary."

Cassidy’s scream, however, unlike Banshee’s, only effects things with ears, not inanimate objects like glass. Of course she could learn the right pitch to get glass to shatter like an opera singer, but generally speaking, her scream only effects things that can hear.

OKAY LETS TALK ABT THE STUFF I FABRICATED FOR THE FIC

oh GOD I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH MAGNETO

not as in romantic, as in he is literally her character’s main inspiration in the films. i’m literally making a fake trailer right now that’s intercut with moments from his DOFP speech that was broadcast to the whole of america.

i love dofp (possibly to my detriment) but i always thought it was weird that no-one was ever like.... magneto has a point. BECAUSE HE HAS A POINT. he’s speaking directly to disenfranchised and SCARED mutants across the nation, and yet everyone’s heralding Mystique as the new face of mutant kind. YES she made a point, but like.... did no-one vibe with magneto when he promised the destruction of mankind? i would. anyways.

so i thought it would be interesting for this character, Cassidy, to have this hero-worship of Magneto, taking his words to heart like scripture, ultimately making her a foil for Phoenix, Xavier’s protege.

it’s why i specifically included this:

“You should be,” you hissed, putting your all into the words as you spoke them, and you hear Ben inhale sharply beside you, “we shall inherit the Earth.”

“What follows is a struggle as Cassidy and the figure – revealed to be her clone – proceed to kill the man. When they’re finished, and the man’s dead on the ground, Cassidy straightens her outfit, and we hear –“ as the director reads, Michael begins to slowly clap, “a slow clap, and it’s revealed that Apocalypse, as well as Storm, Angel, and Magneto, had all witnessed the event.”

“We are the future, we are the ones who shall inherit the Earth,” Michael reads as he stops clapping.

“Magneto,” you breathe reverentially, and when you look to him, you and Michael share a sharp smile.

which is a direct quote from magneto’s speech in Days of Future Past:

You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different. Well, I'm here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who will inherit this earth, and anyone who stands in our way will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world. And to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this; no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadows in shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me. Fight together in the brotherhood of our kind. A new tomorrow, that starts today.

which ALSO is what turns her into the next big villain for the franchise, because she sees Magneto, the man she kind of thinks of like a god, turn on and help kill Apocalypse, the man who claimed to be an actual god, and side with the people who, ultimately, don’t want to destroy the human race like she does, and also killed the man she loved. she takes Magneto’s ideologies and turns them up to 11. he fucks off to create a mutant paradise away from prying eyes and is happy, she won’t be happy until all humans are punished.

it’s why, in the beginning, she and raven can’t still work together, because raven wants to rescue mutants, but not at the expense of unnecessary human lives, and cassidy sees all humans as complicit in the torture, and therefore deserving of punishment.

she has deemed herself judge, jury, and executioner of human kind, and they have all been found guilty.

i’m so excited to see if i get around to writing some of the next film because i really want to explore the dichotomy of Xavier’s ‘no-one is ever really gone/there’s always hope’ and magneto’s ‘you were right to be afraid of us, we are the ones who shall inherit the earth’. Everyone has given up on Cassidy in one way or another, whether it be by betrayal or death, and so when she finds this symbiote who literally becomes a part of her, makes her stronger, and is happy to kill people with little regard for who they are, she’ll take it.

EDIT: here’s the first 26 seconds of the fake trailer (Y/N here is played by Jurnee Smollett, aka Black Canary from Birds of Prey)

youtube

ANGEL & RIOT

i wanted y/n to kiss ben hardy that’s literally it.

actually no that’s not it 100%, i think it’s super amusing in a kind of bleak way that he got fridged for her, like his death, both in the “””comics””” (as in the comic universe for the fics) and in the film, causes her to seek out a force that would help bring him back to life. in the “””comics””” she originally seeks out a mutant, but when the mutant who can bring people back refuses to help her, she’s told of experiments at The Life Foundation, who are working on engineering the next step in human evolution, and she’s thinking that they’re experimenting on mutants again, like trask, and goes in guns blazing, but instead finds symbiotes. she bonds with a symbiote, thus becoming Riot Control, and the symbiote initially promises her all these things, including being able to find a way to ressurect angel, but eventually (in the “””comics”””) the power he gives her overtakes her need to ressurect her love, and riot ends up using her to try and build a ship to bring more symbiotes to take over earth.

IN THE FILM

okay OKAY okay OKAY so she’s looking for a way to ressurect angel at first, but riot’s in her ear while he’s seeing all her memories, and is convincing her to get revenge on the people who are responsible for his death (nightcrawler, jean, and Magneto specifically) so its not that the xmen are just in the plot by happenstance there’s like actual beef, love it.

I also love that Cassidy’s powers are handicapped when she’s got Riot, since her scream would injure or even possibly kill him. Yes i specifically paired her with a symbiote for that reason, which is also the reason why her clone explosions aren’t heat based.

but anyway, can i spoil the ending? i wanna spoil the ending;

so there’s this big showdown between riot control and the xmen, and jean confronts cassidy, trying to talk her down like ‘what would angel think if he saw you? What you’ve become?’ and Cassidy’s furious, thinking that jean’s trying to guilt her, like, angel would be so ashamed

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth, you have no idea what he’d think-”

“He’d be terrified of you.” And it’s so fucking like, cruel and cold coming from Jean.

“Shut up.”

“You have become a monster; you have maimed your idol-” [we cut to a shot of magneto looking all fucked up and bloody, watching with anger in his eyes] “and you have left Angel for dead. If you’d really cared about him, you would have already gotten him back. Instead, you come for revenge against the people who could have helped you -”

or something like that, and riot control has a whole breakdown, lashing out, snarling that no-one could help her, and when they tried, they ended up dead (angel, apocalypse) and she starts losing control, and her voice starts to distort in and out of riot’s, making it clear he’s taking control of her completely.

there’s this big, final fight, which culminates with jean grabbing cassidy’s face and trying to burn riot out of her.

“No-one is beyond help.” And Jean’s like, got tears in her eyes, desperate to save this girl who’s caused so much pain, but who sees herself as so wretched and beyond help, and we see the symbiote burning away and screaming, but also the physical signs of cassidy’s mutation as like, peeling away in embers, like the black scales around her eyes, and the way her whole eyes are seen as black is now clearing away, and she takes both of Jean’s hands and forces her to keep holding on, to keep looking in her natural fucking eyes for the first and last time as she burns out too.

“You can’t save everyone.” and then Cassidy’s just ash in the wind.

also this ending, in a meta-sense, makes sense, because after this Disney buys Fox and there’s no more this-universe X-Men films, so they had to do a self-contained story, there couldn’t be things left super unresolved.

OR maybe she’s fine, maybe she gets saved and riot burns out of her (spoilers, he fucks off and doesn’t die, hence, Venom (2018); it takes him about 20 years to recuperate) i haven’t decided.

#the angry lizard speaks #hyniels #dreashappyworld

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a-dandelion-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Word Wanderings Post #1 – The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

This is the beginning of a reread. I’ve loved this author for years and The Raven Cycle is a particular favourite of mine. Please note that if you haven’t read this book, this post will definitely contain spoilers!

The Raven Boys is the first book in a quartet and juggles a multitude of characters, including our four main characters (Gansey, Ronan, Adam and Blue) and our plus one (Noah). While it does have some external conflict, it is mainly driven by the characters and their relationships with one another. This book is complex and dense with detail, with a structure that is a little unusual. Most books or series have a driving hook that catches readers right at the beginning and is the selling tagline. For example, in the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, it’s Percy finding out he’s secretly a demigod, which directly turns into monsters attacking him and his mom disappearing. In the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, it’s the existence of a game that forces children to fight to the death and then subsequently Katniss volunteering to take her sister’s place at the Reaping. In Six of Crows, it’s a crew of six misfits embarking upon an impossible heist.

Ostensibly, the hook of this book is that Blue is destined to kill her true love with a kiss. That’s what it says on the back of the book, and it’s certainly an overarching threat present for the rest of the series. Tied in as well is Gansey’s search for Glendower, a sleeping king Gansey believes is buried somewhere on a ley line. This is another whole-series thread. The real heart of the story, however, is the boys and Blue and their friendship and their interactions with the other messy pieces of their lives and their search to find meaning and happiness. This type of storytelling is not for everyone, especially those who might enjoy more action-driven tales, but it’s the kind of storytelling I love.

(And in writing and other personal creative projects, I think it’s important to let what you love drive you forwards).

Here are three points I took away from reading this book:

Point #1: Keeping readers interested by embedding small mysteries

The trick is to make your readers want to know what happens next. This is something I have trouble with and therefore I’m particularly interested in seeing how other books handle it.

Each chapter in this book is written from a different character’s perspective. I’ll include the first and last lines (which I think are brilliantly done) in the form: (first line/last line). Following that, I’ll describe some mysteries that the chapter raises.

Prologue: Blue (“Blue Sargent had forgotten how many times she’d been told that she would kill her true love.”/”’You’re Maura’s daughter,’ Neeve said, and before Blue could answer, she added, “this is the year you’ll fall in love.’”) – pg. 1-4

We’re introduced to the idea that Blue will kill her true love if she kisses him

Which immediately raises the question: who is he? And how does she get from being determined not to fall in love to killing someone with a kiss?

We learn about Blue’s psychic family, which I think is super interesting

Blue’s half-aunt Neeve comes to town and really hits us with that: “This is the year you’ll fall in love.” Pay attention, that line says.

Chapter 1: Blue (“It was freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrived.”/“’There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve, Blue. Either you’re his true love,’ Neeve said, ‘or you killed him.’”) – pg. 5-16

Blue and Neeve watch for the future dead

Blue, the only non-psychic in her family, sees a spirit for the first time

The guy she’s destined to kill or fall in love with (or both)

His name is Gansey, and now we’re wondering who he is

Chapter 2: Gansey (“’It’s me,’ said Gansey.”/”’That seems obvious,’ he answered. ‘We find out who you were talking to.’”) – pg. 17-28

Brilliant cut to Gansey

This guy is very real and because of the previous scene, we want to know who he is

We learn about his quest, which adds another layer of mystery

Gansey also heard Blue, on his recorder, so now he’s wondering about her

We ask ourselves: how will these two meet?

Also, introduces Gansey’s friends Adam and Ronan

Ronan has a tumultuous relationship with his brother Declan

THEY HAVE A NUMBER FOR A PSYCHIC (guess who belongs to a psychic family)

Chapter 3: Blue (“Mornings at 300 Fox Way were fearful, jumbled things.”/”’Blue,’ Maura said finally. ‘I don’t have to tell you not to kiss anyone, right?’”) – pgs. 29-37

Introduces Blue’s house

Introduces Blue’s relationship with her mother Maura

Neeve scries and learns that something is strange about Henrietta

Again, we wonder how Blue and Gansey will meet. And also, is it possible to save Gansey from his fate?

Chapter 4: Adam (“Adam Parrish had been Gansey’s friend for eighteen months, and he knew that certain things came along with that friendship.”/”’Excelsior’, said Gansey, and shut the door behind them.”) – pg. 38-51

Introduces Monmouth Manufacturing

Delves further into Gansey’s quest (will Gansey find what he’s looking for?)

Adam is suspicious that someone is spying on their search

Develops tension between Ronan and Declan

Chapter 5: Whelk (“Barrington Whelk was feeling less than sprightly as he slouched down the hall of Whitman House, the Aglionby admin building.”/”It was possible that Czerny’s death wasn’t for nothing after all.”) – pg. 52-56

Adam was suspicious in the previous chapter and now here’s Whelk, being suspicious

What is this guy’s deal?

Whelk hears Gansey is researching ley lines and suddenly gets very interested

Who is Czerny and how did he die?

Chapter 6: Blue (“Blue wouldn’t really describe herself as a waitress.”/”Neeve had to be wrong. She’d never fall in love with one of them.”) – pg. 57-64

Blue goes to work at Nino’s, the same place Gansey and his crew are going

Blue’s mother calls: Gansey has scheduled a reading

THEY MEET! This is great. They meet and they both dislike each other. They immediately conflict and neither realizes the other is the person they’re looking for.

The dramatic irony is fantastic

Adam is interested in Blue and Blue is a little bit interested in him

How does Blue end up liking Gansey, who she currently hates?

Truly, a mystery

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE TWO MEET AGAIN AT THE PSYCHIC READING???

I could do this for the whole book, but you get the picture. There’s always something the reader is left wondering, even if it’s something small, or a future interaction they’re looking forwards to.

A note: this is particularly effective when it’s tied to personal agency. You want to see what your characters will do, and this means more if you have dynamic characters who make choices.

Point #2: Atmosphere and memorable locations

Another big strength of this book is the personality that it imbues its settings with. Take three examples: 300 Fox Way, Monmouth Manufacturing and Cabeswater.

300 Fox Way – the chaotic, full-to-the-brim house where Blue lives with her mom and her aunt and her mom’s two best friends Persephone and Calla and a multitude of other psychic women, all showcased through background details. I love this house and its aesthetic.

Quote: “Mornings at 300 Fox Way were fearful, jumbled things. Elbows in sides and lines for the bathroom and people snapping over tea bags placed into cups that already had tea bags in them. There was school for Blue and work for some of the more productive (or less intuitive) aunts. Toast got burned, cereal went soggy the refrigerator door hung open and expectant for minutes at a time. Keys jingled as car pools were hastily decided.” – pg 29

Monmouth Manufacturing – the abandoned factory that Gansey, Ronan and Noah have made their home. They live on the upper floor and the description of the space really doubles as a character portrait for Gansey. Use settings to reveal and further describe your characters!

Quote: “The high ceiling soared above them, exposed iron beams holding up the roof. Gansey’s invented apartment was a dreamer’s laboratory. The entire second floor, thousands of square feet, spread out before them. Two of the walls were made up of old windows—dozens of tiny, warped panes, except for a few clear ones Gansey had replaced—and the other two walls were covered with maps: the mountains of Virginia, of Wales, of Europe. Marker lines arced across each of them. Across the floor, a telescope peered at the Western sky; at its feet lay piles of arcane electronics meant to measure magnetic activity.

And everywhere, everywhere, there were books. Not the tidy stacks of an intellectual attempting to impress, but the slumping piles of a scholar obsessed. Some of the books weren’t in English. Some of the books were dictionaries for the languages that some of the other books were in. Some of the books were actually Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Editions.” – pg 41

Cabeswater — a magical, sentient forest. I love this forest so much. I love the overall portrayal of magic in this series and this forest is my favourite example of that. The trees speak Latin, time is fluid and sometimes the very air manifests your thoughts, so keep a watch on them.

Quote: “The stream trickled sluggishly out of the woods from between two diamond-barked dogwoods. With Gansey in the lead, they all followed the water into the trees. Immediately, the temperature dropped several degrees. Blue hadn’t realized how much insect noise there was in the field until it was replaced by occasional birdsong under the trees. This was a beautiful, old wood, all massive oak and ash trees finding footing among great slabs of cracked stone. Ferns sprang from rocks and verdant moss grew up the sides of the tree trunks. The air itself was scented with green and growing and water. The light was golden through the leaves. Everything was alive, alive.” – pg 219

What can I take away from this? Using small, specific details to make a setting unique and memorable can add atmosphere to your novel, showcase characters and make a reader fall in love with a particular place.

Point #3: Evolving arcs

This story contains a lot of interwoven plot threads. This can be hard to balance (I know from personal experience) but I think this novel pulls it off. It’s very, very good at doing many things at once. The important thing to think about is a beginning, middle and end for different story arcs that you introduce. Here’s one example (of many) from this book.

Example 1: Noah

Oh Noah. Noah is a brilliant example of an arc in this book and also one of my favourite demonstrations of the fact that sometimes you can hide things right in the open.

First mention (pg. 26). Noah goes out for pizza with the crew, but there is no mention of him going to school or otherwise having a life. This theme will continue: while Gansey, Adam, Ronan and Blue have conflict and fleshed-out internal worlds, Noah is a static character. The first time I read this book, I was like Gansey. I didn’t notice how much Noah was missing until it was explicitly called out.

First line of dialogue: “I’ve been dead for seven years,” Noah said. “That’s as warm as they get.” (pg. 47) (IT’S RIGHT THERE, but yet I didn’t pick up on it. Clever, clever.)

Noah’s room is also described as ‘meticulous’. As in, practically unused.

“Noah, we won’t make you eat,” says Gansey. “Need some more alone time?” says Ronan. More little hints.

The character descriptions are honestly so good, worth a study all in themselves.

Noah doesn’t come to the psychic’s reading or the helicopter trip, which the other boys do

Somehow, he has a canny knack for knowing things and sharing secrets.

“Don’t throw it away.” (pg. 165) (to Gansey)

Gansey calls for Noah but he’s not there (pg. 233)

“Blue permitted Noah to pet the crazy tufts of her hair” (pg. 238). Not particularly arc related but SUPER CUTE.

The gang visits Cabeswater again and finds Noah’s old abandoned car, a red Mustang (not that they realize it yet). In the trunk is a dowsing rod, a sign someone else is looking for ley lines. Noah throws up (from the trauma of his murder).

Blue and Gansey visit the old church and find a body. “The face on the driver’s license was Noah’s.” (pg. 274)

THE BIG SCENE IN WHICH NOAH IS REVEALED AS A GHOST (what a brilliant scene)

“Adam,” he demanded, “what is Noah’s last name?”

“Tell me,” Gansey said, “which classes you share with Noah.”

“When does he eat? Have you ever seen him eat?”

“Does he pay rent? When did he move in? Have you ever questioned it?”

These are all questions Gansey asks his friends, but are also questions we must ask ourselves. We have been fooled in the same way as they have.

“I told you,” Noah said. “I told everyone.” (pg. 278)

“The question is: Who killed you?” (pg. 279)

Noah acts like a real ghost (disappears, reappears, knocks objects off desks)

“Maybe moving it off the ley line had stolen his energy.” (pg. 298) (in regards to Noah’s body)

Noah appears, using Blue’s energy. “I want you to know,” Noah said, “I was…more…when I was alive.” (pg. 305)

“You were the sacrifice, weren’t you Noah? Someone killed you for this.” (pg. 307). It turns out Noah, the friend they didn’t realize was dead, was killed in a ritual similar to the one that is attempted at the end of the novel by their Latin teacher, and is the reason Gansey is alive.

Remember: “Someone else on the ley line is dying when they should not, and so you will live when you should not.” (pg. 271).

It’s all very circular and interwoven and very good plotting.

Noah said, “But you already know.” (pg. 309) (In regards to who killed him) JUMPCUTS to a scene with Whelk

“I’m going to fix Noah. Somehow.” (pg. 335) (says Gansey)

She allowed him to pet her hair with his icy fingers. “Not so spiky as usual,” he said sadly. (pg. 353)

“Don’t throw it away,” Noah whispered. (pg. 371) To Adam, this time.

Noah warns Gansey that Adam is gone (he is now 100% a spooky ghost boy)

THE MURDERED/REMEMBERED SCENE (breaks my heart). They’re all in Cabeswater again for the climax of the novel and Noah, who doesn’t exist in bodily form, traces words into the dust on his old car

Noah’s funeral: “Please say something to them.” / “Mrs. Czerny, he’s sorry for drinking your birthday schnapps.” (pg. 406-407) (ouch, my heart)

They dig up his bones and rebury them on the ley line

“Can we go home? This place is so creepy.” … ”Noah!” Gansey cried gladly. Blue hurled his arms around his neck. He looked alarmed, and then pleased, and then he pet the tufts of her hair. (pg 408)

Broadly, the arc looks like this (look how actions lead to consequences which lead to further actions):

The boys have a friend named Noah, who is sometimes there and sometimes not

LOTS OF FORESHADOWING

They find Noah’s dead body

They confront Noah and find out he’s a ghost

The police move his bones so he starts acting like a real ghost

They figure out he was used in an attempted ritual and also that their Latin teacher killed him

The dig up his bones and rebury them on the ley line

Noah comes back

Given what happens later in this series, it’s very important to me that we remember Noah.

In conclusion

What this book does well:

Keeping readers interested by embedding small mysteries

Atmosphere and memorable locations

Evolving arcs

These are just a few things I noticed on my read-through of The Raven Boys. Stay tuned for further Word Wanderings posts and feel free to give suggestions for books you’d like me to analyze!

Personal Challenge: Pick a book you’re currently reading or an old favorite and try to figure out what keeps you reading, whether it’s little mysteries, character dilemmas or rising tension.

#the raven cycle #trc #maggie stiefvater #the raven boys #writing #writing advice #writers on tumblr #blue sargent #noah czerny #gansey #adam parrish #ronan lynch #word wanderings #my post

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bouncyirwin · 4 years

Text

Bouncy’s Masterpost || 2019 Edition

This is something I started last year that I plan to keep doing! I present to you the good, the bad and the ugly of 2019!

♡ 2018′s Masterpost Order: from oldest to newest.

Februrary 2019

[1] Wish I Knew You | 13,527 Words | T | KakaSaku & GenIno A lost bet and a forced dare brings two lonely losers together. Sakura never thought something as absurd-sounding as the 'No More Lonely Losers' program would land none other than Konoha's hottest bachelor and her long-time crush in her lap. KakaSaku. Rating might be upped later.

Snippet:

"Sakura? What in the world are you doing under the table?"

She froze in horror as a certain silver-haired, dark-eyed man bent to peer curiously at her. "Is this some sort of fun three-way fondling in public, because you guys are not being very discreet about it."

"O-of course not!" Sakura spluttered, and her head collided with the table edge in her hurry to get back into her seat. "Oww!"

Temari very much choked on her chuckles as Sakura pressed a soothing green hand to her head and lowered herself into a vacant seat with as much dignity as she could muster. "Kakashi, you dirty old man, don't say such nonsense."

March 2019

[2] Between the Lines | 1,711 Words | T | ShinRan [Detective Conan]

There was something about him when he was quiet, mind brimming with facts, with truths that could shatter the world that was so terrifying and exhilarating and she often found herself lost in thoughts of him, spaced-out looking at the arch of his brow and the slope of his nose and the pucker of his lips. One-shot. ShinRan.

Snippet:

Shinichi had always carried a confident tug in his shoulders, an arrogant streak in his eyes, and mischief in his smiles wherever he went. Even on the most brutal crime scenes those traits never faltered. But now ... he was so contained now, like he walked on fragile glass instead of the earth. Like it might've shattered beneath his soles if he made the faintest impression.

This Shinichi walked in measured breaths, with his eyes peeled open and his shoulders hunched in ever so slightly—it was as if he wanted to take up less space, like he felt exposed. And Ran's heart went out to him, every time.

[3] Closure, Part III of Resolutions | 2,220 Words | T | KakaSaku In which Sakura realises it isn't too late to find happiness and lets go. [Three-shot, KakaSaku]

Snippet:

She stared at his hands in her lap and wondered how to phrase her words in a way that didn't make him bolt, "I think that… that people don't see this side of you. I used to think you hated kids. But I don't think that's really the case. I think it'd be a shame if you never had children."

[4] Late Night Revelations | 4,166 Words | M | KakashixOC

Nousagi and Kakashi crash in an Inn after a grueling ANBU mission. Things take an unexpected turn as Kakashi's more playful side makes an appearance.

Snippet:

“Kakashi,” Nousagi said after what felt like ages of silence.

He cracked open one eye, leaning his head in her direction in silent inquiry. The action made his hair fall into his eyes, which in turn made her chest tighten in a strangely pleasant way. “Are you okay now?”

He gave her a lazy smirk, “You’re awfully worried today—I’m fine. Almost bored actually.”

“No Icha Icha?” She gave him a meaningful side-eye and almost laughed when he let out a sigh. “Yep, thought so. Let me guess: unsalvageable after a week of dirt and blood?”

“Don’t rub it in,” he grumbled sourly, to which she did finally laugh.

[5] Stolen Moments | 1,830 Words | M | ShiSaku

"All that blood really brings out your eyes."

Snippet:

He flashes in front of her, manifesting into something distinguishable from the blur of the nightly forest just as his blade sweeps down like the damning call of the reaper and severs clean through the enemy's neck. This time the blood splatters her face and cascades down her cheek to drip down her vest.

Shisui sheaths his sword and turns to face her. The shadows conceal his features, but his eyes stand out a crimson red through the darkness. He steps forward, and suddenly the moonlight bathes him in an ethereal glow and his eyes darken to a liquid charcoal. He smiles—something dangerous and sharp as his fingers glide over her bloody cheek, "All that blood really brings out your eyes …"

April 2019

[6] The Sound of Silence | 1,656 Words | T | Merlex [Grey’s Anatmoy]

He watches her eyes fluttering open. Tentative, like the wings of a butterfly, and he's afraid to hope. She's bruised beyond recognition. Swollen, blue, heartbreaking, and still everything he ever wants. 12x09. Merlex.

Snippet:

"Mer … " He's talking, and he knows she can't even hear him, but he just wants to say her name, to taste it on his tongue, to pretend everything is okay.

He tries to smile even when it hurts his face. Even when his jaw resists. He tries to smile for her.

May 2019

[7] Watch Each Other’s Six | 3,222 Words | M | StevexPeggy [Marvel]

Steve wants the life he's lost back. He wants to righten his place in history and most importantly, he wants to do right by Tony.

Dad!Steve, Baby!Tony, Post-Endgame.

Snippet:

It’s barely a flash, but the thought still hits him like a fist in the gut and his breath catches. Tony Stark’s face in a framed photo on a casket, and Peter sobbing, and Pepper trying hard not to fall apart while Happy shamelessly devolves into tears. It still hasn’t fully sunk in, possibly because he has suppressed it, violently, that Tony Stark—Tony who walks the ground in measured steps because it could barely contain him and that dramatic, lively flair of his presence—could possibly be gone forever.

And isn’t that why Steve hesitates? Because here one form of Tony will live while there, there’ll be none?

[8] The Universe Released | 897 Words | T | IronStrange [Marvel]

There’s a man that lays in his bed every night, that burrowed and tucked himself into a nook in his heart and made a home for himself where Stephen had forbidden anyone else. There had been no rational answer, no cogent way to figure out how Tony Stark, someone he had despised at first glimpse, had instilled himself into the very centre of Stephen’s universe and made himself its point of gravity.

Written for IronStrangeWeek2019 Day 3: 10 Years Later

Snippet:

“That long, huh?” Tony chuckles and runs a hand through Stephen’s hair. “Suprised we made it this long?”

Stephen shakes his head, his arm snaking around Tony’s middle and tugging them closer. “There hasn’t been a single day,” Stephen begins, eyes flickering to lock with Tony’s, “In which I doubted you being the one for me.”

“So suave.” Murmurs Tony, eyes half-lidded as they drop to Stephen’s lips. “I’m already in bed with you, you don’t have to sweet-talk me.”

[9] Do you know that thing, of which the heart bleeds? | 950 Words | T | Gen [Marvel]

Tony never thought of himself as particularly selfless, but when he meets those endless blue eyes, sees the way Stephen’s fingers curl and one stands firm and absolute, he thinks to hell with it.

Snippet:

There’s an odd sense of relief that only lasts a flickering second. Life has never been kind to him, and now it won’t be able to take from him any more than it already has.

(But, ultimately, Tony knows otherwise. He is but a man, and all he wishes for right then is some peace of mind. But he can’t help but think about all the years lost from his future: watching Morgan grow, sending her to college, making love to Pepper, having another kid, and maybe another, why the hell not? And he knows, that life will continue to steal from him even when he’s six feet under, even when he’s got nothing left to give, and he thinks peace is for the ignorant, and that he is anything but).

[10] Raw Skin and a Bleeding Heart | 602 Words | G | Ironstrange [Marvel]

He presses a kiss to Stephen’s hair, it smells of mint and warmth, and Tony finds himself thinking about the vast universe, the endless stretch of space, the planets and the moon and the sun and how there isn’t a single place he’d rather be at, at that moment. A companion piece to The Universe Released, can be read independently.

Written for IronStrangeWeek2019, Day 7: 14000605.

Snippet:

He loves Stephen in all the unconventional ways, he knows. He loves Stephen in the little spaces between the spoken and unspoken words, in the loud silence that separates their bodies, in the way two broken souls slot together perfectly.

June 2019

[11] Moment You Loved Her (back) | 7,936 Words | T | KakaSaku

Some things are just worth breaking for. KakaSaku AU.

Snippet:

The seconds stretch out, wearing his patience thin. There they remained, an elite jounin, appearing to stand cool and collected before a human trainwreck. Yet somehow she managed to make him feel like she was a queen looking down from her throne at him, as she decides his punishment. How is it that her gaze alone threatens to shatter him? He feels stretched thin, and like all the pieces of him are about to crumble from all of the cheap glue and rough treatment.

There's a moment where Kakashi just wants to give in and fall apart; just hand himself over to her and hope for the best. Even if it means he has to gracefully endure her silent treatment with the humility of a man who knows he's wronged a woman in ways he doesn't necessarily understand.

[12] Make Me Lose Control | 6,459 Words | M | KakSaku

A mission to Ame turns into a paid vacation, and Kakashi and Sakura find themselves crossing all sorts of lines.

Snippet:

"Give me my book back."

"Or what?"

"Don't challenge your superior."

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm the head of a chain of hospitals all over the shinobi nations and you're an ex-Hokage who can only go on diplomatic missions anymore."

Kakashi gasps, "Take that back."

"Children." Shikamaru sounds and looks utterly exasperated from his perch against the desk at the reception area. Behind him, Shizune is sniggering to herself as she types away on her computer.

July 2019

[13] Tangled Up In You | 20,414 Words | M | HarleyxPeter [Marvel]

Besides him, Harley seems to need a moment to collect himself. “Hey,” he says, fingers touching tentatively at Peter's knuckles. Peter nearly flinches, tingles chasing Harley’s touch. “It’s okay—look at me—it’s okay.”

Even in the darkness Harley’s eyes glint and they’re so beautiful for a moment Peter can’t look away.

“I don’t mind this,” Harley tells him, firm and genuine. “If you’re curious about… about kissing a guy, I don’t mind.”

Snippet:

“Ned. Ned.” He says urgently. “Um. What does the news say exactly?”

Ned pauses. “Um… someone uploaded a live video of those men invading through the roof. Obviously he was caught but the video was already out there and the police were alerted. Why?”

Peter wishes he could say his next line without wanting to choke himself with his own bare hands. “I… I may have done something really, really fucking stupid.”

“Oh? You mean that you kissed Harley in the middle of a crowd of awe-struck teenagers? Yeah, not your best move.”

August 2019

[14] Un-Break My Heart | 2,884 Words | T | KakaSaku

He's beautiful like all broken things are, in all the ways they could be mended, in their complexity, in their contrasting fragility and resilience. And Sakura never learned how to not love broken things. [KakaSaku]

Snippet:

Perhaps he notices that, because he lets her.

She laces their fingers together, determined to keep him right there next to her and can't believe the kind of way it makes her feel to have his palm pressed against her own, his stuttering pulse against her wrist.

"Just try," she beseeches him, and expects a rejection.

"Okay." He says after a pause, voice cracking. "Okay, Sakura."

[15] Black and White | 3,150 Words | G | ShisuiHina

Hinata makes a bento for her crush, but this ends up being Shisui's lunch instead.

Snippet:

He was such a refined and exquisite mix between gentle and hard, such an alluring aesthetic, Hinata attributed her sudden infatuation to those rare qualities.

"What?" he asked, suddenly, dark eyes shifting to meet her own.

In the wane orange glow of the setting sun, they looked like a portal to some other world and Hinata found herself trapped, sinking. They glittered, like mirrors, the darkest shade of charcoal, reflecting her image back at her in muted tones.

Hinata swallowed convulsively. "Sorry," it came out as a whisper, her eyes roaming his face.

What was she feeling?

Her heart thundered in her ears, as if afraid of the way it quivered and shook under this new weight settling over her chest.

What was this?

"It's just…," she swallowed again, unsure if she should voice those thoughts. "You have beautiful eyes."

October 2019

[16] Stay With Me | 2,648 Words | M | KakaSaku | Fanart

Falling for her doesn't leave him with bruises and broken bones, it leaves him with warmth and the colour green and the rapidly addicting revelation that it might all just be alright after all. KakaSaku Proposal AU.

Snippet:

She cranes her neck back to regard him silently with her endless green eyes, and with her gaze comes a feeling a little like drowning, "You've just seemed ... a little off lately. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? What's on your mind?"

Kakashi considers that for a few moments—it's such a convenient opening. He bites his lip as he looks down at her, watches the way her eyes flicker down to his mouth before quickly flitting back up. "... I love being a ninja," he admits quietly. "Or, well, I got used to being a ninja. But ... you make me want to stay here with you."

She smiles, and it's radiant. "Yeah? That doesn't sound so bad."

[17] Bare Bones Ch 3 of A Shift in Space | 8,740 of 23,373 Words | T | Gen

Naruto Uzumaki was forced to watch every single friend he's ever cared about die except for one. Together, they will fix this. Together they'll rewrite fate. TIME TRAVEL. [New publish date: 30th. August]

Snippet:

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "That'd be great… we need to do everything we can to prevent Orochimaru from luring Sasuke away."

Frowning, his companion slowly shook his head. "I don't think that'd work— I know you want to protect Sasuke but do you think Orochimaru would stop trying if he failed the first time around? No. Let's not risk it, we'd be blind in another attempt—much like the first time. We need to convince Sasuke to stay. We can't do anything about Orochimaru for now."

For a split second, Naruto looked like he might disagree. But then he gnawed angrily at his lower lip and looked away.

November 2019

[18] Every Last Drop | 3,378 Words | M | KakaSaku

“This isn’t about you. You’re amazing at what you do. I just … the shower—well—you’re just not a showerhead. And sometimes that’s what I want.”

When she chances a look at Kakashi again his eyes have widened slightly, and he looks entirely taken aback. “You—the showerhead?” The amount of disbelief packed into that word would’ve made a lesser woman dissolve into uncontrollable laughter.

The blush steadily spreads down her neck as she contemplates this bizarre conversation he pulled her into having. She really hadn’t wanted to ever discuss this with anyone. “Yes, the showerhead. Problem?”

Sakura looks away again, feeling the slow, simmering burn of embarrassment.

A few moments of silence later, Kakashi shifts, and when he speaks he nearly purrs.

“Can I watch?”

[19] Decisions and Choices Ch 13 of Underneath the Underneath | 5,500 of 61,803 Words | M | KakaSaku & GenIno

Our past is what defines us; what shapes us into the people we are. And Sakura… Sakura would've never guessed Kakashi was the product of so much suffering. With every strange dream, another piece of the puzzle is found; and with every vision, they grow a step closer to completion. NEW PUBLISH DATE: 23/4/2017

Snippet:

"Mmm ... Sakura ..." he rasped over a sigh, jolting her a little. He made no attempt to move, however, and after the passage of a few silent and heavy moments, filled only with his quiet breathing, she realised he was still asleep.

Was he ... was he dreaming about her?

Sakura chewed on her lip, her heart thundering in her ears. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was soothing, urging hers to calm down, to beat together as one.

December 2019

[20] Let The Truth Sting | 3,163 Words | M | KakaSaku

Sasuke's first glance at Kakashi's face comes in the form of Kakashi's open mouth pressed over Sakura's. Or, in which Sasuke sees Sakura has found her happiness with someone else. Quite graphically. [KakaSaku, Sasuke's POV]

Snippet:

Sasuke still finds himself following them.

There's a subtle air of a routine, a comfortable familiarity found only between people who hang out frequently, and Sasuke's feeling of shame has receded to be replaced by a surge of irritation as it becomes apparent where the duo is heading. Down the block is Sakura's two-bedroom apartment, the one she bought for herself after she divorced Sasuke more than a year ago.

At her doorstep, Sasuke fully expects her to say her goodbyes to Kakashi.

Sasuke watches with a scowl as she invites him in.

Bonus - Art

January - [x], [x], [x], [x], [x], [x], [x]

February - [x], [x], [x], [x]

March - [x], [x], [x]

April - [x], [x]

May - [x]

August - [x], [x]

September - [x], [x], [x], [x], [x], [x], [x], [x]

October - [x], [x], [x], [x], [x]

December - [x], [x], [x]

It’s worth mentioning that everything pre-may was drawn without a tablet! Also notice how the months I didn’t write in have like 5+ arts xD

#kakasaku #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #naruto #fanfiction #art #bouncy's masterpost #2019 #genino #marvel #ironstrange #detective conan #shinran

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bettertheworld · 3 years

Text

How and why fear scares people into eating meat.

Did you ever wonder why you ate what you ate as a child? Do you wonder why you continue to eat what you eat? Or are you simply on autopilot because you don’t think it matters all that much and you basically have it all figured out? Or do you feel powerless, and confused with the amount of fake news out there about food and you’re not sure where the hell to find real information? The answer does not lie in marketing, it lies in scientific research; geeks required.

Quick disclaimer - I’ve been through University and have a Bachelor of Science with a minor in Psychology and am trained as a Paramedic and for all of the years I’ve been out of school, I’ve become a geeky Paramedic thereby educating myself with regard to emergency medicine and the causes of our main killers.

What I find to be most useful with regard to school is how I am able to read research and make sense of it. Giving credit to where credit is due is not as easy as it seems - this is why ‘that guy’ or ‘my friend’s friend’ literally knows nothing, and anyone who refers to life rules from those sources, does not know as much as a person who refers to scientific journals.

Now with regard to food, I’ll be able to help you digest some of what’s out there and help you critically think for yourself. I won’t do it for you, but I’ll help you do it yourself, so bring your critical thinking, and bring your skepticism, I welcome it.

“Everything in moderation”, we’ve been told, except moderation has never been shown to be effective, i.e. reversing certain illnesses the way a specific diet has. Can you guess which diet has cured a the most common killers in today’s society? If you were able to guess, do enjoy this write-up, if not here’s a hint - it contains no animal products and I encourage you to open your mind and do some research after reading this. If this challenges you to your core and are offended, you are probably upset that your feelings and actions are in direct conflict, but that’s okay - real information will fix that.

On the topic of real news, here’s a few gems; butter from dairy in your coffee is never healthy, eggs are never part of the healthiest diet possible, and bacon is the quickest way for you to cause cancer and heart attacks in yourself. Eggs are the most concentrated glom of cholesterol you can eat on the planet and most people are born lactose-intolerant because we’re not cows, we’re people, so why would it ever be a good idea to challenge the body in such a way that it actually doesn’t want to be? In later write-ups, I’ll discuss the ‘Lac-operon’.

One thing you’ll need to do is always consider the source of research. Just because Dr. Oz or some “Doctor” or “professional” goes on TV blabbing out the benefits, of X, Y and Z or saying “the relationship isn’t strong enough to prove anything”, you have to ask yourself, who has done the research on the topic and who paid for the research to be done?

Rich people paying for research have a reason for doing research, it’s always about money, and they always get what they want in some way, shape or form due to the flexibility of statistical analysis. Rich people with money who have gone out of their way to pay for research, are also most likely to be taking advantage of nearly everyone downhill - kind of the way Trump does business. The sick-minded narcissistic ways the meat and dairy industries are run, if admitted by everyone would shudder in disbelief. The veil that has been pulled down before all of our eyes is real, and needs to be lifted.

The problem with foods is that as the research comes out, then another paper comes out to deny the ‘realness’ of the original - now who do you believe? This is especially true when it comes to foods containing cholesterol - animals products. You might wonder why animal products contain cholesterol? Because their cell walls contain cholesterol, just like ours do. Why do companies want to exploit this? Animals do not have rights the way humans do, so if companies can get away with exploiting animals and make a bunch of money doing so, and people are dumb enough to support this because they need huge amount of protein (because they don’t know how little they actually need), then my friend, you are indeed a sucker supporting Trump-like meat and dairy businessmen.

Cholesterol is needed by the human body to have strong cell walls and it’s made inside our own bodies, it’s never required to be eaten because your body makes all it needs. When people eat cholesterol, consider the fact that it is a solid at room temperature and has a melting point of 148 degrees Celsius. That means until you get to that temperature, it’s a solid - this is why it gets stuck in your arteries, and remaining in your arteries until it’s pushed into the walls or is broken down; if you’re smart enough to stop eating cholesterol.

Our bodies make what it needs, you never need to eat cholesterol, so saying certain foods have ‘good’ and ‘bad’ cholesterol is like saying cyanide, sometimes is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We all know that ALL CYANIDE IS BAD CYANIDE, but we don’t all know that ALL CHOLESTEROL IS BAD CHOLESTEROL. We know all cyanide is bad cyanide because the effects of cyanide poisoning are very quick and easy to notice, but the effects of cholesterol-poisoning have a delayed onset - so long that many of us could never piece it altogether, and we call the manifestations of this poisoning ‘heart attacks’.

Do you know there are strong correlations between certain types of foods and certain illnesses? Do you know you can avoid the major killers in today’s society by avoiding the bad foods? It’s difficult to say what’s ‘good’ and what’s ‘bad’ because both of those denotations are subjective, but when it comes to cancer, heart attacks, strokes, the science is clear, animal products are killing you, slowly but surely - decreasing the years you get to live on this earth, and decreasing the quality of life that you live.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, a life not fearing cancer, heart attacks, high blood cholesterol, and best of all, not fearing high blood pressure which is also called “the silent killer”? All too often you hear people say, “Yeah, my father died of a heart attack, so I will one day too”. While there is a wee bit of truth to this statement, the amount of greatly overestimated. Habits and traditions are what are subconsciously passed down to next generation, thereby the body tends to react similarly as time goes because you’re eating the same foods with roughly the same body.

But what is hugely undervalued is with a change of habits, i.e. change of food sources, comes great opportunity to change your destiny. Just because dad had a heart attack or had cancer, does not mean you’re going to have one or die from one. Even if we have cancer genetics, certain foods promote ‘cancer-genetics’ and others thwart these genes from producing cancer.

Once you remove the foods that are associated with hardening of the arteries, you don’t have to worry about hardening arteries anymore. Without hardening arteries and clogging them with cholesterol, your risk for a heart attack was just cut down to nearly to a huge degree. Food matters, food matters a lot.

There are many peer-reviewed scientific journals out there - pubmed being a great starting place, which discusses how plant-based whole foods diets are reversing diabetes and reversing clogged arteries associated with heart attacks? Did the meat-producers forget to tell you this?

If my memory serves me correctly, it was something like 84% of diabetic patients, within 20 weeks of a new whole foods plant-based diets were off their diabetic medications having fixed their insulin resistance. Diabetes is a problem of physical nature, if all or most of the sites where the sugar goes from your vasculature to your functional cells of your body are blocked with cholesterol and other fats, then you my friend are ‘diabetic’. When you clear those sites with a whole-foods, plant-based diet you have essentially cured yourself of diabetes. Animal-fats have higher boiling points than that of vegetable sources, this is why they’re problematic for us.

Similarly, this same vegan diet was proven to erode the cholesterol in the arteries, thereby cleaning up the arteries, and with regard to the heart, you’ve now decreased your likelihood of having a heart attack. The vegan diet works for both illnesses because both of these problems happen in the tubes of the body, the highway, the vasculature, arteries to be exact.

With diabetes, you remove the cholesterol and stuff that sticks to it, thereby allowing insulin to let sugar into the cells from the arteries, and with heart attacks, you allow blood to circulate through the coronary arteries more freely now that the plant-based whole foods diet has eroded away the cholesterol and other fat-soluble substances stuck into the walls thereby blocking the blood-flow.

This is where we discuss the problem with saying ‘everything in moderation’. Science can now say, with certainty that a plant-based whole foods diet will fix your arteries nearly all of the time, but no one can say that eating one piece of meat per day will allow the same progress to occur - so let’s critically think, is ‘everything in moderation’ even true? Who made this garbage up? My guess is probably some Doctor who was making allowances for him or herself!

We all love to hear good things about our bad habits, but you’ll never hear a teacher tell a student, “It’s ok that you don’t really try very often in my class, everything in moderation my dear.” So why do we give ourselves allowances based on our own wants when it comes to food? If you’re a scholar, if you’re a critical thinker, if you value your body, you need to begin asking yourselves the questions that matter; how much do I value my health - do I even care about myself, or the future? Or maybe you aren’t a scholar, thinker, or maybe you don’t care and that’s why you refuse to understand what science has proven. Again, if you take offence to this, you’re at war with yourself. Everything I write is based on science but I do not write the sources in.

When I discovered these facts, I went on a rampage, trying to help everyone, wasting my energy and burning bridges, but now I’m leaving it all out on the table for like-minded people to read. I assume we all are like-minded because everyone just wants the best for themselves and their loved ones. It might be shocking to be challenged, so I’ll do my best to maintain neutrality, but what you might discover by following me might change the course of your life and sometimes we need a little challenge, but not too much.

You can’t free an oppressor, or the oppressed with oppression itself, it must be with deliberate care and without imposing ones beliefs, it must be with information, not by force. While I could use the platform to shred fools who base their decisions not on science but tradition, instead I’m going to empower you and not make you feel stupid for being duped - because we all have been duped by the meat and dairy industry. I want to continue to critically think, and beg for you to do the same.

Did you think you had free will when you were developing your eating habits and family traditions? Did you think you chose your food yourself with a sense of ownership? Or did you just want to fit in with the rest of your family? Did you not want to disappoint your parents by not finishing food prepared for you? Did you want to be guilty of letting an animal die for you, and you denying eating it forcing your parents to throw it out and waste its life? Did you want to avoid being called and feeling ungrateful? Was trying to be a good boy or girl causing you to compromise your thoughts and feelings? Did you love zoos but ask yourself, why am I eating this animal? And why don’t we have pet cows? Why do we think dogs are cute and cows not? So many children have thoughts that are repressed and never entertained by true critical thought, this is a crime of parenting.

Now circulating all over the internet are videos of cows playing fetch with fitness balls, just like dogs fetch a tennis ball. Imagine you could watch the video without thinking that because you eat meat, that you’ll completely disregard the emotions you’re feeling of how cute the cow is, so that it won’t be hard to eat your next beef-oriented meal?

Conversely, imagine you are healthy, strong, full of energy and vegan person who can fully enjoy videos of cute animals because you don’t see them as food, you see them as sentient beings capable of feelings, social structure, language and emotion. This is just one way people differ because of food choices.

This is how people are split when it comes to cute animal videos. No self-proclaimed animal lover wants me to bring up this comparison because for me to even suggest eating a dog is the same as eating a cow, the omnivore will become so enraged that they won’t be able to focus on the conversation and they’ll begin hating on this argument before I finish the thought - likely because they’ve repressed the thought in their own mind. I think eating all animals is completely wrong and completely necessary, but is eating a cow any different than eating a dog? Not in the slightest, but facts don’t change belief systems - they polarize the crowd

Why are some people not able to accept this logic? It’s because of a little thing called Carnism. A viral belief system where some foods and animals should be looked at as food, while other animals can be considered cute and not-to-be eaten. To one, a cow might be considered cuter than a dog, and a dog might be considered cuter than a cow to some, but to the alien coming from a different planet, they would not be able to see why which is cuter because they have not been affected by carnism itself. If a cow and a dog are both animals, then they are both food or neither are food. Why does one get preferential treatment in today’s society? Carnism is to blame for why. Carnism is with a simple google search, a basic idea that meat is there for us to eat, and if we’re not eating it, we could be because we’ve conquered the world, so it’s now there for the taking; aside other important points.

Who does carnism affect? Everyone who thinks they need meat and everyone who despises the idea of people who think they need meat to survive? Who started carnism? When science got interested in food, we made some inaccurate discoveries and statements, and we’ve sort of run with that. A 200 year-old science paper by Liebig which has been debunked plays a small role, but companies who saw the profit in exploiting animal protein are the true perpetrators of this.

How do they do it? Marketing. Marketing is a genius tool that highlights the good, and ignores the bad. Marketing is telling you what you want to hear about something that has no part in offering what you’re being told it offers. Marketing also tells you that if you wear the same sunglasses as Jason Statham, that you’ll be as desirable as Jason Statham. Clearly you’ve been affected by marketing because if you put on the same sunnies as him, you’re not going to resemble Jason Statham because you are not Jason Statham, and have a different bone structure than him. As a result, the sunglasses will have a different effect on you, and more than likely you just wasted $600. Buying what other people wear won’t make you look like them, but your feelings tell you otherwise - welcome to the level of marketing - your feels. And also, he’s 5′8, sorry if you thought he was 6′1.

Feeling a certain way about something is what determines our beliefs then our actions. When people feel that they need meat, they defend their ‘right’ to eat it, instead of listening to the ways you can get everything meat offers, and be so much more healthier. Try questioning an omnivore as to why they eat meat and then prepare yourself for heaping pile of shit excuses, and subjective garbage because none it’s true or valuable.

Humans have needs for amino acids, not meat. We need some fats and are pretty damn happy with certain types of carbohydrates. When it comes down to it, we need a fuel source, and a machine to move us that turns energy into movement, we’ll call this tool our muscles, we need muscles.

Since muscles move us, we need to fuel them. What are the ways we can do do? Plants and or animal products. If we think that we need to eat cow’s muscles for energy, we should know that this is completely false. Let’s discuss why this is not optimal.

For us to use muscles for energy, we have to eat that muscle, break it down, store it, then mobilize it for energy, and this process takes time and energy and you can refer to it as a slow process. On the other hand, if we eat carbohydrates, these sources are quickly accepted by the body and are ready to be used for energy extremely quickly by comparison.

If you’ve seen The Gamechangers movie, there is a study that uses beet juice and proves that you’re going to be able to cycle longer if working out after drinking beet juice vs not drinking it at all. This is because you’re providing a high-octane fuel source vs using meat which contains much less high-octane fuel to the point we’ll just call it low-octane fuel source. In addition using protein for energy requires you to be in starvation mode and you’re deciding to break down your body because there is no high-octane fuel around, this is not optimal - this sounds a lot like chronic fatigue. Using meat for energy is not optimal, not even close.

How does beet juice then offer us the chance to have stronger, better muscles? The juice offers energy that your muscles use quickly and readily. From my time at the University of Guelph where I completed my undergrad, I took a Cardiorespiratory Physiology Lab course, and I sure am glad that I did. I learned that whatever system you challenge, you will have gains in. So, if I provide my leg muscles with energy thereby allowing them to cycle, and I challenge my leg muscles with exercise just beyond what it comfortably, there will be growth - you will change the physical structure of individual cells. This means that the next time you challenge these muscles in the same way, the work that was 10% beyond your comfort zone, next time is 9% beyond your comfort zone, which means you have experienced 1% growth.

How did this growth happen? You fed your body what it needed for growth to occur. Did you need meat for this growth to happen? No, you needed essential amino acids. Amino acids that are made by plants. All amino acids are made by plants, and so many plant sources contain every single amino acid. As long as you’re challenging your body beyond it’s comfort zone and you’re feeding it the building blocks it requires for growth, growth will happen. Animals are not required, amino acids are, amino acids that can all be provided by plants.

The difference between vegans and omnivores is that vegans say, “No, it’s not ok for us to exploit animals for any reason”, but omnivores don’t want to discuss this matter because they feel that meat is required, so they do not fully allow themselves to empathize with what they’re eating, if they did, an omnivore would not be able to eat the cow, pig or chicken.

If it comes down to taste; what a greedy reason it is to kill a sentient being taste is? If it comes down to nutritional needs, saying you need animals to be healthy is a lot like thinking you need to only breathe oxygen from Nepal, because only Nepalese oxygen provides me with what I need. False! If we’re eating food and getting enough amino acids from a plant-based whole foods diet, is it in any way deficient compared to amino acids from animals? The answer is no, and additionally, you’re not priming yourself for cancer, heart disease, diabetes, other cardiovascular disorders.

Just a few thoughts maybe we should revisit. Were you given a choice between eating meat and not eating meat? When you were 5 years old and could conceptualize that you’re eating another life, did your parents sit you down and ask you how you felt about it or even talk to you about it? Did they even bother to tell you that you’re eating a sentient being capable of thought and having feelings? Do you think your parents had a clue about what they were feeding you beyond whatever food guide was popular at the time? Did you know that food guides are based on financial relationships and not what’s actually best for your body (until recent history in Canada)? Does this information enrage you the way it did to me? Do you know what government subsidies are? Does it make sense that you can find burgers at fast food joints for super cheap which contained the life of an animal, but can never find a ridiculously cheap head of broccoli? In fact, have you ever seen a cheap salad at McDonald’s? No, and you never will, because there are no government subsidies for lettuce or anything that goes in a salad. The government is in bed with whoever pays them the most money, and due to the fear that people have regarding becoming protein-deficient, 98% of people are afraid to turn their back on meat and dairy. I did this is 2014 and to this day, it’s been the best choice of my life.

The interesting fact is in the 1950s and 1960s, the FDA artificially increased the amount of protein ‘needed’ to sell more dairy and meat. Especially after Babe Ruth died of throat cancer due to smoking. At the time ‘Doctors’ were claiming cigarettes weren’t bad for you or cancer-causing, the relationship ‘wasn’t strong enough’. The baseball community should all be vegan for this reason alone.

If we’re human, always been and always will be human, then out there somewhere is a perfect diet for us, but what if we’re too afraid to eat the healthiest diet for us because of scare tactics used by the meat and dairy industry? Wouldn’t that be sad, maybe even criminal? I think so, but you only have yourself to blame once someone informs you or you read this.

I want to discuss the process of cooking food, but I want to get into that next time, the idea of what’s on the label, vs what’s on your plate after you cooked the carcinogens into it, and the vitamins out of it.

Ask yourself, what is the meat and dairy industry doing for you, aside from providing you with a much-less-than-healthy source of calories? They’re providing you with cancer, cardiovascular disease, double-standards, an emotional haze and basically, you work for them while they make you sick - this sounds a lot like the exploitation of you, the consumer. You think it’s time to wake up yet?

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godofsunandselfies · 4 years

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Kyrie considered herself a pacifist; or, at least, as close as a pacifist a demigod can be. If she could manage it, she would rather tackle confrontations with words and reason rather than bronze and violence. Papa called her a "sweetheart" because of this. Connor would often declare her to have "the patience of a saint". She supposed that they were correct. She was willing to play the long game; give more than enough chances and wait for her "opponent" to see the error of their ways and do the right thing.

But this time? With this asshole of a demigod (Could he even be considered as a demigod? Likely not, considering how watered down his blood ties to Papa were.), she had no patience. There were no chances. This time she wanted this boy to hurt.

"You alright there, Kyrie?"

She blinked. Drawn out from her cloud of violence, she turned to face one of her younger brothers - Michael. He looked at her expectantly. Oh dear, had he been talking to her the entire time? She didn't hear a thing.

She gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, did you say something? I didn't quite catch it."

Thankfully he didn't seem upset. Rather he looked amused. Michael looked so much like Dad, dark hair and all - especially when he smiled. She, on the other hand, looked more like Papa; inheriting his golden hair and bright brown eyes. The only physical connection she had with their dad were her heightened senses and her fangs... and her unfortunate diet.

"You didn't miss much. I was just going on and on about how much of a brat that Octavian kid's been since Dad managed to get those Roman kids to stand down."

At the mention of Camp Jupiter's auger (A title he clearly did not deserve.), a scowl marred her otherwise perpetually serene expression. The sight of it triggered a particularly loud guffaw from her brother.

"I knew it!" He chortled. "I knew I wasn't seeing things. You" - pointed a finger inches away from her slowly reddening face - "Miss 'I-Don't-Get-Angry-At-All', were practically burning Octavian alive with your glare."

"Oh shush," she gently swatted at his finger. "Don't be so loud. Someone could hear you!"

In between chuckles, Michael gestured around them with wide arms. "Who? There's no one in the infirmary, Kyrie. It's just us."

Indeed, Camp Half-Blood's infirmary was devoid of its usual hustle and bustle of injured demigods and rushing healers. A rarity - a miracle, really. But it was to be expected. Ever since that heart thumping-ly tense standoff between Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood about few days ago, no one had the stomach to hold any war games. Not with that tension - this precarious peace between the camps - near smothering the air. As Head Healer, Kyrie should be relishing this rare moment of peace. But she couldn't. Not when the events of last night played back in her head like a movie of spite. Her hands itched for action - and it was not a nice action she wished to commit. (Idly she wondered if this was how Connor often felt. This restlessness... This urge to lash out. It was terrible. How on Olympus does he manage?)

"So what did Octavian do that's got you so riled up, sis? " Michael leaned back against his chair, pushing so far that the rickety piece of furniture balanced precariously at an angle as he stretched himself out to his full height. He was always so lazy, she thought. So very much like a tomcat, sunning the hours away every day.

She huffed and shot him a look. "Why are you even asking? You clearly know."

He did - she could see it in how he wrinkled his nose as his mind played back the same anger-kindling film of last night. It had been dinner and, as always, everyone in camp had gathered at the Dining Pavilion to eat and socialize and just enjoy the last hours of a day before having to tuck in and begin anew. Only this time, an invitation had been extended to the Roman demigods to join them, rather than eat separately as they often did since the "peace" between them was made. A chance to bond and encourage peaceful relations. It was an idea that she wholeheartedly encouraged.

But of course Octavian had to ruin it for her and her family.

That boy, he was - for a lack of better term, and to borrow some language from Kayla's book (Oh how she missed her and Austin, and Dantes, and most especially Damien. She hoped they were alright back on Olympus. And that Papa was alright too. Hopefully the peace they now had with Camp Jupiter, as shaky as it still was, eased up whatever that split was doing to him. Hopefully it enough for him to come home soon.) - a great big pile of dicks. Nothing but a scheming little weasel - but that comparison would be an offense to all weasels - who only wanted to start a war; who sought out violence that seemed more fitting in Ares himself than someone who had blood ties (Very, very weak blood ties.) to Papa. It was obvious that he was vexed that Camp Half-Blood was still standing; that Reyna had taken the diplomatic option rather than diving head first into carnage. He was petty - and he wanted that peace, this alliance, to crumble. So he sought out for any weaknesses - any chinks in the armor - in the person responsible.

Kyrie knew that the foundation of the alliance between the camps was partially marred by a trick... or at least a misunderstanding. Everyone in Camp Half-Blood knew that Dad, while married to a god and having been so for... well... forever, was not a god. That he wasn't entirely human either, and that was the reason for his immortality. But nobody else outside of camp knew that. Not even all of the Olympians knew that. Thus those of Camp Jupiter believed her Dad, and by association, herself and her siblings, were gods. And that belief played a great deal in getting them to stop and listen; it was what discouraged them from toeing the line that was drawn in her Dad and Reyna's agreement.

But last night, it was like Octavian knew. (Which should be impossible. How could he have known? No one in camp would let it slip But she supposed it could've happened. An accident.) He kept needling Dad with questions and thinly veiled accusations. Dad not eating was a reoccurring point. It reached a point where he forced her dad to actually eat the food that had been prepared for everyone.

Dad couldn't eat real food. Couldn't taste a thing. And when he did, it would just make him sick. He knew this. She and her siblings all knee this. But he did it anyway - just to prove Octavian wrong; to throw him off.

It worked. Clearly. But now Dad was at home, sick to his stomach. And it was all Octavian's fault.

It fucking pissed her off.

Kyrie preferred the peaceful way of handling confrontations. But no one messed with her family. No one. And she wanted Octavian to pay.

"Now there's a look that I've only ever seen once before," drawled Michael as he watched her quietly seeth in her seat; glaring down Octavian's thin figure in the distance.

She frowned. She knew what he meant. She was a pacifist, fairly docile, up until her family came in harms way. The last she'd felt like this - this itch in her skin to curl her fingers around Octavian's neck; this licking fire in her gut that boiled and boiled until she was practically shaking with furious heat - was during the last prophecy; during the Battle at Manhattan. When they lost Kori and Bennett... She didn't remember much of what happened during those battles. Only that she was angry. So so very angry. And that she made Kronos and his army pay for stealing away her siblings. She made them pay with blood.

"Thinking of getting some payback?"

She furrowed her brow. "It will damage the peace Dad made for everyone."

Disappointment huffed from her brother.

"But I do have an idea. Nothing too drastic."

A wide grin split across his face.

~~~~~~~

Kyrie knew she was different. Not just because of her nonviolent preferences, but of what she was capable of. When her abilities manifested, she had inherited a power that was... rare from her Papa's side. Much rarer than his future sight, and more deadly.

While few, there were plenty of horror stories of children of Apollo who inherited his powers over sickness. The children her Papa fathered way before he had met Dad and who possessed those abilities were seen as bad omens, and often were at the epicenter of sudden plagues and pandemics. Considered to be terrible people...

So when she had manifested that "gift", frankly she was terrified; she feared that her parents would shun her - maybe even run her out of camp entirely. It was a silly thing to think of, but she'd been seven and her imagination ran wild.

Papa put her fears to rest; told her that she was not a bad omen, and that he and Dad had a child before who also inherited the plague aspect, a son, and he had turned out fine. Since then, he made sure to train her how to properly control her powers - because that was what had went wrong with the plague children before; no control had doomed them and thousands of people.

But it was still a well guarded secret. No one outside of their family knew what she was capable of. She did not mind. She understood. Not everyone would be as accepting or kind to a person who could inflict the most terrible illnesses imaginable to them with but a single touch.

And she scarcely used her powers to begin with. Violence was not her thing after all. She only wanted to heal people; not will them to rot away. (And the irony of her position was not lost to her, or her family.)

But there are some exceptions that she was willing to make. Octavian was certainly one of them.

Kyrie waited by the side of her home - right in the space between home and Aunt Artemis's honorary cabin. Peeking out the corner, she saw Michael doing what they had planned. He walked alongside Octavian, subtly leading him to where she stood, keeping the "legacy"'s attention with questions about camp and withstanding whatever anti-Greek drivel the pale wraith of a boy spat out. (She would need to reward Michael well for putting himself through that. Even though he was the one who came up with it - no one deserves to withstand Octavian's presence any longer than they need to.)

As they drew closer, Michael eventually took his leave of Octavian, giving a well-acted wave before scampering off in the direction of the nearby archery field, leaving Octavian alone. When he finally drew close enough, Kyrie put her own acting chops through the test and stepped out in a faux hurried pace - looking all to the world like she had come rushing out of the house, head in the clouds about some errand.

She collided with Octavian; shoulder crashing against shoulder with a force that would've sent him to the floor had she not whipped her hands out and caught him by his arms.

The second her skin touched his, she sent out a pulse of power into him, inflicting illness upon his body.

"Nothing too terrible," she had told Michael as they schemed (What a word.) in the infirmary. "I want him to suffer in the same way he made Dad did. Not kill him, Mikey."

Her brother had scoffed. "I'm just saying, no one would be broken up about it if he did croak from some disease."

A part of her - the bit of her that was all fire and fury when her family came into harm - agreed with Michael, but she had her principles. She wanted to get even. That was all.

"Oh dear! I'm so sorry, Octavian," she cooed with false concern. "Are you alright?"

She made to fret over him, as she tended to do whenever her siblings and fellow campers were injured, but Octavian slapped her hand away.

"I am fine! No thanks to you," he sneered at her; gaze filled only with poison disdain. (How on earth this boy claimed relation to her family, she did not know. Perhaps another sick trick of the Fates.) "You should watch where you're going, you insipid little---"

He never got to finish as a blur of orange and black sped from his side and shoved him firmly to the ground.

Connor bore down; a look of honest to gods murder on his face. "Finish that sentence. I dare you."

Octavian went pale. (Quite the feat considering how pale he already was.) He scrambled to his feet and took off with a slight shriek. Anger at her having bumped into him long forgotten.

Connor relaxed and face her. His expression easing to open concern. "Are you okay, Kyrie?"

She beamed. "I am perfectly fine. Actually, I'm in a wonderful mood."

His lips twitched upwards - almost into a smile. "Something good happen today? "

"Mmhmm. And I just know that tomorrow will be even better!"

~~~~~~

The next day proved to be another lazy day in the infirmary, so she took the opportunity to lounge on the front porch of the Big House, just enjoying the chilled weather. Eventually the front door opened and the cabin councilors and the leaders of Camp Jupiter's - what did they call it? "Cohorts"? - spilled out; some still muttering amongst their fellows regarding whatever it was they had to discuss at their meeting.

Vergil stepped out as well, as he was often the representative for their family (and Dad and Papa would be in attendance, being co-directors of the camp alongside Chiron) for these things. Upon seeing her though, he came to a stop and approached, settling down right beside her on a nearby chair. It was quite the comical picture - a man as big and intimidating as him precariously seated on a rickety rocking chair. (Though she and all of camp knew that Vergil was anything but intimidating.)

Silence was all there was between them as they both watched the others file on out and disappear into the camp grounds. It was only until everyone was certainly gone that Vergil spoke.

"So the meeting went a lot more smoothly this time around," he said, staring idly at the planks of the floor.

She smiled. "Is that so? "

He nodded. "Yes. Octavian was absent, you see. Apparently he caught a nasty stomach flu. It came to him so suddenly. Reyna said that it's likely that he'll be bedridden for a week. Maybe even two." The corners of his mouth rose several centimeters as he caught her gaze - blue meeting brown; both amused. "Would you happen to have a hand in this sudden turn of events?"

She said nothing, only smiled at her older brother.

With a laugh and a slight shake of his head, Vergil rose from the chair and ruffled her hair. "You did good, little sister. I'll see you back at home, yeah? " Then he too disappeared into the camp grounds.

Pleased, Kyrie reclined in her seat and relished her little moment.

It truly was a good day. And clearly it will be a good week or two ahead.

#i adore you (kyle)#little sunshines (apollo's children)#long post #drabble

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