#the lord of the rings is my comfort reading for 2020

[ndostairlyrium]

✨ Self Rec Tag Game✨

I was tagged by the creator of the tag game herself, @shivunin and I'm terribly sorry if I came back to it super late ;; it was super fun looking at what others made with it tho <3 people are so talented!!

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

Something you absolutely adore

Something that was challenging to create

Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) 

Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.)

Something you want other people to see

For those I'll tag: categories aren't necessary, "they're more guidelines than rules" (cit. @shivunin)

I may have broken the rules because I'm chronically undecided << hopefully it's fine sorry in advance

Something you absolutely adore

I just... I'm into chill and comfy vibes <<' These three together bring me so much joy, like, I remember reading all their interactions on the wikia and smiling like an idiot because I wished that all of it was more blatant rather than "yea there's a 3% chance you'll get this interaction in game"

Something that was challenging to create

Probably the first batch from everything-else-but-Inktober 2020. I decided to drop the idea of messing with inks and straight up exercised on things I usually fail at / wanted to improve. The whole challenge was, well, a challenge. I remember struggling from day 1 to 30 because I'm terrible at studies, I tend to filter and filter and filter and... But I like the results!! Far from perfect, but I've learnt big deal through it ;; If you're interested, here's the links to the instagram posts: Weeks 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) 

I can't decide! Aaaaaargh Here, have a multitude of things that make me crack a smile :'D

...I wanted to add more but I don't wanna make another monsterpost :'D

Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.)

This fanart of Ophélie from Le Passe Miroir, which I'm very proud of ;; I know it doesn't seem like a huge accomplishment or an art megazord, but I was very in my head before opening Photoshop but during the process, when I realized I was doing exactly what I pictured beforehand, I just couldn't stop being proud of myself lol which is something I don't experience a lot :'''

Also this comm I did for @n7viper that made me say "oh, you can handle this" This was quite the experience ;; thanks again for letting me work on this dude <3 I started with a greyscale then added colors, which is a technique I used some times and like, I was sure it was challenging because it's super hard to balance everything out, but when things came out exactly how I wanted them to be?? Woah, alright Picasso, slay

Something you want other people to see

-My dwarven ladies 🧔✨

you can check it out here

-The things I'm doing for this artfight lol I think I leveled up in some cases 👌

These are previews, everything will be posted in this blog, my artblog, insta, twitter etc etc

-The collabs and trades I made with some of the most talented people I know and cherish ;;

Like this one amongst the many I did with @greypetrel who dragged me back into Lord of the Rings after years and I'll be forever thankful for that ;; but also for the experience <3

Or these ones I did with @underneathestars Plus our joint effort for last year's N7 Day: her post - my post That was a challenge and your girls served 💅

Also This!!! Courtesy of @demandthedoodles This was like, one of the funniest - yet astounding - outcomes from a sketch I almost forgot I made lol I need to print this out when I can!

I would include all of them, because I traded art and collaborated with people I really appreciate but I can't possibly include other things ;; I'll mass reblog / share them in the next days!

Also, thanks again @shivunin for this tag game ;; I discovered things I've never seen from people I follow and found out awesome new things from people I didn't follow already. So super fun <3

I'm tagging (no pressure, no commitment): @n7viper @underneathestars @qwib @skeltrr @lethalhoopla @kassarts @aukanemin @ii-then @daggerbean @vaesivlasta @sparatus

#long post #tag game #self rec tag game #ndo sta l'art tag #of course I did a monsterpost siigh #listen I'm easily entertained when it comes to shitposting I had to spam :' #no I didn't have to but I did it anyway because I have no self control #I didn't include fics tho << #I need to stop tweaking this post gdi

[saintsenara]

I always love hearing about people’s fandom and reading/writer journeys especially since they usually involve some very cursed content and fun navigating ‘90’s and ‘00’s tech. Where did you start, what got you hooked, how have your tastes changed over the years, what made you decide to go from reader to writer? 💖

thank you for the ask, anon - and you’re correct that my experience was one of cursed 2000s technology, given that i started reading harry potter fanfiction via the twin madhouses of livejournal and fictionalley, nothing ever tagged beyond ‘lemon!!!’, on the family computer using dial-up internet [god bless the fact that the parents of my generation had no inclination to care about what we were consuming online - one of my brothers was a huge fan of rotten.com, and he's perfectly well-adjusted...]

my reading tastes were, initially, lord of the rings focused - i still think* about a particular elrohir/námo mandos fic which had me in chokehold when i was about fourteen - but i was as big a harry potter fan as anyone of my generation [shoutout in particular to one of my pals, who spent the entirety of a geography trip in 2006 speculating what the unknown horcruxes could be with me while we froze our bollocks off in some godforsaken bog in county antrim]. so it wasn’t a surprise, i suppose, that i was clicking on any fan-fiction links i could find for that series too…

[the fic which has stayed with me most profoundly from those days was called something along the lines of murder at malfoy manor which was on fictionalley and was this exceptional combination of the rules of cluedo and the ron-is-time-travelling dumbledore theory. it was incredible.]

but i wasn’t a writer. i was one of those science-y, not-like-other-girls teenagers who was performatively really cunty about other girls who liked to write little stories or draw little pictures, which i thought was fundamentally unserious. the fact that i was an avid consumer of these stories didn’t make me question what the fuck i was being such an arsehole about…

because i loved a bit of fan-fic, and not only did i love fan-fic but i demonstrably had a fandom presence and was clued up on fandom lore - i could quote my immortal, i knew what a snape-wife was, i was on a forum or two - although i went to great lengths to avoid anyone in my real life discovering that. and i do feel extremely proud of myself that i have a reputation among people i know for not having been particularly cringe as a teen [how little they know… i’ve just got a good poker face.]

i lost interest in harry potter when i went to university - i started uni in 2010, when it was still socially acceptable to be really into it, and i definitely went to my fair share of themed parties in the first couple of years, but by the time i graduated in 2016 (i did medicine, so it’s a six-year slog…) i’d not opened the books, watched the films, or thought about the fandom in years. i remember rolling my eyes at the number of people i know who went to see cursed child when it first opened. bit cringe to be in your twenties and into harry potter, isn’t it?

[lol. lmao.]

but a global crisis changes things, i suppose.

like so many people, i got back into fandom during the coronavirus pandemic - although, regrettably, not because i was stuck at home. i don’t think i’ll ever be able to accurately describe what it was like to work in a hospital in 2020, except to say that by the time i got home each day the only thing i could do other than stare blankly at a wall was lose myself in the comfort of media i knew well and its memories of a simpler time. and once i’d re-read the books a few times… well, it was only a matter of time before i was scrolling ao3 at 3am.

and, because my ego hasn’t changed even if my relationship with my own gender has, it did not take a lot to convince me that i could write stories which were just as good as the ones i was reading.

you can be the judge of whether i succeeded.

[*i’m being coy. i have it bookmarked on ao3]

#asks answered #asenora on writing

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things "The Game Master" and "Erica's Quest" Review

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Synopsis 1 (The Game Master): Two weeks after Will's rescue from the Upside Down, Steve and Nancy are back together as a couple, attempting to adjust back to a normal life and put the past behind them. But it's easier said than done since Mike's become withdrawn since El's disappearance. Worried about her brother, Nancy enlists Steve's help in trying to comfort Mike......

Synopsis 2 (Erica's Quest): Months after the destruction of Starcourt Mall, Erica's revealed to have stolen something dangerous from the Russians, forcing Dustin, Steve, and Robin to stop her from selling it before it's too late....

Observations:

Both "The Game Master" and "Erica's Quest" are short stories that came out during Free Comic Book Day back in 2019 and 2020 respectively, and both deal with themes of isolation. In "The Game Master," it's Mike who's fallen into a depression following El's supposed "death" in season 1, to the point of shutting himself in the basement. In "Erica's Quest," it's Erica who feels secluded from everyone following the Battle of Starcourt.

D&D plays a role in both stories, with Steve and Nancy getting Mike to snap out of his funk by helping him rediscover his passion for the game, and Erica going to the lengths of attempting to sell a smuggled canister of the green acid from the Russian base as a means of purchasing more D&D books. D&D for both Erica and Mike is about connection, and it's through other characters reaching out to them when they're at low points that allows both of them to open up and feel okay again.

Steve is present in both stories: He assists Nancy in comforting Mike, and aids Dustin in stopping Erica from her badly thought-out plan to sell the green liquid. It was nice seeing Mike and Steve interact in a way that wasn't argumentative, with Steve genuinely trying to help Mike feel better, demonstrating his continuing character development since his fight with the Demogorgon (Keep in mind this particular story takes place before Steve became friends with Dustin in season 2). Likewise, the ending with Dustin, Steve, and Robin recognizing that Erica wanted someone to play D&D with and hosting a game just for her was sweet.

Speaking of which, "Erica's Quest" confirms that Steve has played D&D with Dustin before, which gives more context to their phone call in the season 4 episode "The Hellfire Club:"

I know that at the time, Mike and Dustin were looking for a replacement for Lucas, but the fact that Dustin's first choice was Steve gives the impression they'd done several sessions of D&D together before Dustin joined Hellfire, and that Steve's refusal to play at the time was not out of inexperience but (as Dustin puts it) his jealousy of Eddie becoming Dustin's new "older male friend."

On top of that, "The Game Master" also confirms Steve hasn't read The Lord of the Rings (which still remains true as of season 4).

Assuming Steve survives season 5, maybe we'll see him finally read the books. Who knows? :)

Something else I took note of is the time between the fight with the Demogorgon at Joyce's house at the end of season 1 (November 12th 1983) and the day "The Game Master" takes place (November 26th 1983). In the season 2 episode "Dig Dug," it's mentioned that Nancy waited a month for Jonathan before going back to Steve. However, this short story suggests it was only 2 weeks. From the way Nancy acts towards Steve in "The Game Master," there's the impression she's in two places: She's trying to give her relationship with Steve a second chance, but it's also implied she's starting to become emotionally distant from him (something that the tie-in book Rebel Robin confirms) and that their relationship is on shaky ground. At one point, Nancy even remarks that her mom isn't thrilled about them dating and that Karen tolerates Steve at best. To his credit, Steve is clearly trying to make their relationship work, but it comes off all the more bitter knowing it's going to fall apart later on.

Those who have followed my Stranger Things posts in the past know my feelings about the Nancy/Jonathan/Steve love triangle and how I wasn't thrilled about the show revisiting it again in season 4. I will be surprised if season 5 ends with Nancy and Steve as a couple. Contrary to what the show is teasing right now, I do not see that happening for a multitude of reasons.

Other nice moments I found in both stories:

The whole discussion Robin and Steve have about the Star Wars movies:

This moment of Steve trying (and failing) to eat a pretzel:

The callback to the elf costume Nancy wore once for Mike's D&D Campaign:

Confirmation that Erica never got the "Free Ice Cream For Life" like she was promised:

And a nice sibling bonding moment between Mike and Nancy:

Both of these stories work in demonstrating the strength of the relationships between the main characters. Regardless of how bad things get, they will always support one another.

Overall, these were heartwarming and fun to read, and I recommend checking them out.

#stranger things #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #erica sinclair #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #stranger things comics #erica's quest #the game master #tgh opinions #tgh reviews

[dianessunflower]

hiyaaa, im nat, ive been around a while but this is my new blog for my unhinged chaos thanks to twitter going insane slipping down the drain. im more of a bookish/artsy/history/theatre type but im a sometime tv/films lover when milfs (read gilfs) are involved or there's connections to be made.

so these are my fav shows to reblog. basically i like a bit of everything (oh, musicals, etc) but my comfort is always period drama. and of course, anything with a milf 🫠🫦

2024 edit: my letterboxd functions the same way as my storygraph - less reviews more dates - but i am trying this year...

The Sound of Music

The Good Fight (im in mourning)

Evil (underrated!!!)

Elsbeth (because I love everything the Kings do)

Outlander

Downton Abbey

The Gilded Age

All Creatures Great and Small (2020-)

Belle

Anne with an E

Sanditon

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

Julia

Ted Lasso (ignoring the last 10 mins)

Killing Eve (also ignoring the last 10 mins)

A Discovery of Witches

Lord of the Rings / The Rings of Power

Grace and Frankie

Mary Poppins

Victor/Victoria

The Americanization of Emily

Duet for One

Darling Lili (ok anything with Julie Andrews basically)

Carol

Mamma Mia 1&2 (again, anything with Christine Baranski)

Cybill (and not for the main character OOP)

Princess Diaries 1&2

Dr Quinn Medicine Woman

Rebecca (1940)

Pride and Prejudice (2005, it's Keira Knightley im sorry)

Sense and Sensibility (1995)

Mr Malcolm's List

Schmigadoon!

Pachinko

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (ok anything with Michelle Yeoh also)

Emma (2020)

Anna Karenina

Chicago

Tick, Tick... Boom

In the Mood for Love

Under the Hawthorn Tree

The Handmaiden

#a little bit of everything is my motto #basically im indecisive #but not to sound pretentious i just like to analyse shows and art #and gifs #i like making gifs

[slmcreative]

💞✅💖💥🥺✖️✨

Howdy howdy!

💞Who’s your comfort character?

Lately Johnny, my Courier, and my Sole Survivor, and if I get deep enough into Fallout 4 I'll probably start obsessing over Cait and Preston again. I also like Tommy Shelby a lot. If I'm bored I'll just make him in a video game where he doesn't belong, like Fallout 76 or Dead by Daylight, hoping someone who sees me in-game gets the reference and has a giggle.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?

I have a lot of characters with some form of mental trauma that they're recovering from, be it war, injury, drugs, abuse, or otherwise. Physical problems like illness, chronic conditions, disabilities, and traumatic injuries show up a lot too. And then a lot of anti-war / anti-authority stuff, but most of that is very much intentional.

💖 What made you start writing?

When I was a kid, manga and Lord of the Rings. As an adult, Penny Dreadful and Peaky Blinders made me miss writing stuff, so I started doing that here and there back in 2020. Recently some really good classic anti-war novels like All Quiet on the Western Front and Slaughterhouse Five have made me want to start writing again.

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

I love love love constructive criticism, especially when it points out things I'd never have caught otherwise.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

A traumatized character learning to trust someone who is warm and loving to them.

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

IDK if this is a trope so much as a genre, but...the fics with real entertainers and celebs...nah, it's not for me.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I was reading over the first few chapters of my fic recently and I did notice that, I think, I HOPE, for the most part, the characters seem pretty distinct from each other, which is something I worry about since this fic has so many damn characters. I have a feeling I'm going to have to make a War & Peace style character cheat sheet for this fic at some point. 😭

#iravaid #thank you for the ask!

[dreamslogs]

What I Watched In August

📺TV Shows📺

The Mandalorian (2019)

Pretty Little Liars (2010)

📼Movies📼

Spree (2020)

American Psycho (2000)

Dolores Claiborne (1995)

💻Rewatched💻

Stranger Things (2016)

Sixteen Candles (1984)

Newsies (2017)

Game of Thrones (2011)

Rocky III (1982)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

The Batman (2022)

iCarly (2007)

Glee (2009)

Every Harry Potter Movie (2001 - 2011)

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

🖋Not so serious thoughts🖋

Stranger Things: It’s been a comfort show for years. I’m only so strong against a friend group in the 1980s.

The Mandalorian: My mental health is held in Grogu’s tiny, tiny hands. Also Dinluke is real trust me I was there.

Spree: I will say, I was a little disappointed because everyone said I would love it and I didn’t. It is very realistic of influenfers though and I liked the concept a lot. Joe is also creepily good at being an incel creepo.

Sixteen Candles: It’s the summer of the 80s what can I say.

American Psycho: My dad has read the book and seen it before, so he explained the ending to me. I like the idea of it being about the toxic materialistic environment they’re in and everyone only cares about themselves and doesn’t know/care about who anyone really is and him just completely losing his shit, and still, no one really cares.

Newsies: *aggressively sings Seize the Day and backflips off my couch wearing suspenders*

Game of Thrones: You cannot convince me I’m not a Targaryen

Dolores Claiborne: She girlboss girl slayed I fear

Rocky III: I’ve never seen any of these movies all the way through lol but my dad loves them

Captain America: The Winter Soldier: My number one emotional support movie Steve is my fave avenger I’ve been emotionally attached to this movie since the day it came out and I was 12.

The Batman: Battinson has my heart and soul. He’s a depressed wet cat but he’s my depressed wet cat.

iCarly: A childhood classic. Spencer is an icon he is the moment.

Glee: And that’s how Sue C’s it.

Harry Potter: Listen we don’t like JK Rowling but I can’t help with these movies I’ve been watching them my whole life.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: You literally cannot convince me I’m not an elf who married Aragorn and lived a happily ever after.

Pretty Little Liars: My roommates were literally disgusted when they found out I never watched this. In the simplest of words, this show is batshit.

#media log #tv shows #movies #stranger things #the mandolarian #spree 2020 #sixteen candles #american psycho #newsies 2017 #game of thrones #dolores claiborne #rocky iii #the batman #icarly #glee #harry potter #the fellowship of the ring #pretty little liars

[railroad-migraine]

Hi, love!

I'm in a wonky mood with my writing/Tumblr, so I'm asking a few pages the same question.

How did you get started? (My page is still a lot of my own stuff because I'm not super comfortable putting HCs up for just general terror. Despite the fact that I know the fandom is nice!)

Hiya darling! I chose (a) fandom(s) that I enjoyed, posted a couple "hey I'm writing for this, send in requests" posts with tags appropriate to what I wanted to do and voila - here I am today!

I started because fanfiction helps me focus on what I want my writing to be like! It warms up my creative muscles when wanting to expand upon my original projects. It explores the familiar instead of coming up with lore and such over time, and from that I can extract writing skills and characterisations and mould them into something exclusively mine :)

I put more under a Read More because I tend to ramble! It's pretty much my big thoughts™ as a fanfic writer, but don't feel pressured to read it ❤️

So this blog is still relatively new (just turned one year old aka baby). I had been using Tumblr for probably around five years without an actual account which is in itself quite embarrassing for me lol. Whenever I'd join a new fandom, I would binge the (fave character) x reader tag, and also occasionally check out writing prompts, OC ideas and rare OCxReader tags.

How did I start up though? It was early 2020 that I got into Critical Role, stared watching Campaign 2 and anticipating EXU1. What I noticed was that while the CRxReader side of the fandom was so well and lovingly written, at the time it was quiet. There weren't many blogs, and at one point it was rare for me to find a post I hadn't already come across. So I decided I wanted to contribute to the fandom and write what I would like to read!

I have been a creative writer pretty much all my life, in recent years being recognised for my plays, poetry, and short stories. I have mentioned this before, but I am writing a book in the form of anthologies because I love the short story genre and it is less intimidating than writing a novel from scratch (which I also intend to do in the future).

Writing original worlds and characters is so so rewarding simply because it is your own. You are, to put it bluntly, a divine being pulling threads and weaving them into something unique and yours. But the process can also be draining and annoying and sometimes you're itching to write something comfortable that (in my experience) requires less dedication or wordlbuilding thought.

From my point of view, fanfiction is a hobby. Just like how I do art and hike and cook and train and act, it is something I enjoy and get pleasure from whenever I have the time for it. It's an overused phrase, but practice makes perfect, and fanfic is a great way to both do some writing practice and indulge in your favourite characters.

I am in so many fandoms I couldn't begin to list them all off without boring you guys. Normally, my interest drifts in and out, in between and beyond them. I love Lord of the Rings, but don't see myself writing for it because it's too precious to my childhood. I adore Skyrim, but most of the main characters lack the complexity I want when being sappy and romantic. I adored watching Stranger Things, but I prefer writing about high fantasy instead of urban fantasy/scifi/horror. I love to replay Dragon Age annually, but I lose interest very quickly after indulging in it.

The Witcher is fantastic, and I love dipping in and out of the fandom, but for some reason Critical Role has suited me down to the ground without pause and has been what most of my produced content has been about. It's probably to do with my love for DnD, the broad range of archetypes, deep and personal exploration of characters, and the immense amount of content on offer at my fingertips. Either way, it's been two years and I haven't gotten bored of it yet.

To summarise everything: do what's comfortable for you! I originally wanted to help contribute to a relatively quiet and small fandom, and help my writing skills even when taking breaks from my book. Two birds, one stone.

I'd recommend separating your original stuff from your fanfiction, simply because when they begin to overlap it gets complicated and hard to understand what is truly your own and what are fan musings. I don't want my hard work and worldbuilding to be compared to the world or characters belonging to someone else. FanficWriter!Poet (me as @railroad-migraine) is different to Playwright/Novelist!Poet (me hoping to publish in the next few years).

This is one reason why I don't share my OCs with fandoms. I don't discuss who I imagine "I" would be in a fandom, how I'd look, who I'd interact with or date. Because my OCs may find a place in my own story and world, somewhere not influenced or owned by someone else. It is a personal thing for my eyes only and my creativity to develop later. I don't want to share them until they've found their place in my canon universe. I do love hearing about other people's OCs though, do not misinterpret what I mean. I just personally don't want my characters to associate with a fandom I might not be part of forever. Hence why I write Reader Inserts!

Write what makes you happy (as long as it's not harmful), not what others in the fandom want. Be brave, do not feel pressured, and take your time or step back when you want to. You are in control of your creativity, interests, hobbies and blog. Requesters are only that - requesting. You don't owe them anything.

If you read till the end, kudos to you haha. Have an epic day, you x

#mod poet #writing #rosegrlwrites #ask #asks #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #writing tips

[theeverlastingshade]

Praise a Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds)- Yves Tumor

Throughout the last decade I can't think of another artist that's managed to bridge the gap between the underground and mainstream as thoroughly as Sean Bowie, aka Yves Tumor. Tumor cut their teeth in the early 10s with a post-chillwave bedroom project called Teams before beginning to record music under the Yves Tumor moniker with their unassuming 2015 debut, When Man Fails You. The first few YT releases were murky, lo-fi sketches lathered in dissonance and found sounds, where tone and texture were prioritized over melody, harmony, or rhythm. Their 2018 masterpiece, Safe in the Hands of Love, showcased a sample based breakthrough that drew from club music, noise music, and everything in between with Bowie emerging as an unconventional but assured bandleader. Their 2020 follow-up, Heaven to a Tortured Mind, narrowed their scope but amplified their stage presence and swagger as they took a hard psychedelic glam rock pivot. Their music became easier to digest, but still exuded a sense of seemingly limitless possibility. Last month, Tumor returned with their 5th LP, Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds), and although it's another exquisitely arranged and produced record, some of the luster is beginning to wear off. HBW finds Tumor content to simply coast off the ideas that they formed on HtaTM instead of pushing their sound forward.

Make no mistake, HBW is a gorgeous sounding record. It might be the single best produced record that I'll hear in 2023. Both Alan Moulder and Noah Goldstein are behind the boards throughout HBW, which helps explain the absurdly lush guitar tones, mind-melting synths textures, and dynamic drum timbres throughout. But, as appealing as these elements are on paper, they rarely congeal into anything greater than the sum of their parts. Most of the songs on HBW sound like leftovers or b-sides from the HtaTM sessions, and as such don't have the ingenuity, immediacy, or indelible edge that helped allow the songs on HtaTM to become such towering classics. Take lead single and opener, "God is a Circle", which begins promisingly enough with a jittery rhythm, looped, manic panting, and splotches of distorted guitar that ring out like rounds of shrapnel. It's an alluring framework, but it doesn't really go anywhere, and sort of just plods along for 3 and a half minutes. "Fear Evil Like Evil" similarly wastes a propulsive bassline on a song that stalls out early and never quite finds its footing, while the smoldering guitar arrangement and lulling vocals on "Parody" unintentionally land far too on the nose for comfort. There's a shard of a great song in each of these compositions, but Bowie's overreliance on the path of least resistance renders these songs much safer and more palatable than one would hope for from such a singular talent.

Lyrics have never been the focal point of Tumor's music, and while they're not as comparably disappointing as the music itself they're not exactly a redeeming factor here. The best Tumor songs read like cryptic missives that touch on themes of love, acceptance, faith, and healing with tasteful turns of phrase that prevent the writing from ever lapsing into cloying platitudes or surface level sentiments. Thankfully, the writing throughout HBW doesn't sink that low, but more often than not it follows the music's tame lead. Songs like "Operator" ("Baby, please never take me home/I will not hesitate, no/I thought I'd save some money, oh no/Another reason to believe") and closer "Ebony Eye" ("I can't describe this glowing light/There's no other way/Than the pearly gates/I found my holy place") grasp at profundity but arrive at pedestrian, while others, like "Heaven Surrounds Us Like a Hood" have lines that scan like placeholders that slipped through the cracks in the editing room ("I love the color blue because/It's in the sky/And that's where god is"). Very few of these songs contain lines that dull, but none of them contain lines striking enough to distract from the conspicuously bland music throughout. On HBW, Tumor completes their bedroom pop auteur to full-blown rockstar metamorphosis, but the subversive qualities that once made their music so magnetic are rendered merely serviceable here.

Essentials: “Lovely Sewer”, “Echolalia”, “Heaven Surrounds Us Like a Hood”

#yves tumor #praise a lord who chews but which does not consume; (or simply hot between worlds)

[musicgoon]

Book Review: Seasons of Sorrow, by Tim Challies

What can you say when you’ve lost a son? In Seasons of Sorrow, Tim Challies tells of both the pain of loss and the comfort of God.

Towards the end of 2020, 20-year-old Nick Challies passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. His father, blogger and author Tim Challies, found himself grieving while given to the amazing truth that God is still good. Reading like a journal, Seasons of Sorrow documents Challies’ journey of the first year without his son.

Gospel Clarity

The 220-page book is divided by the four seasons, with cutting emotion and Gospel-clarity throughout each section. The book begins in Fall, and I was struck with Challies’ frequent use of the word “realities.” He speaks of the reality of Nick being asleep while his soul is awake and the reality of the Christian life being a mix of joy and sorrow. Challies’ faith is on full display, challenged, and refined.

What I appreciated most was Challies’ simple honesty. The pages are filled with hope, but Challies acknowledges that there is sometimes doubt in his mind. In the Winter section, he admits that while his confession would have him believe that Nick is ready and waiting for him in Heaven, he does not believe as much as he would like to. He sometimes feels like he has to force himself to believe. God’s words ring out throughout this book, but here it seems especially strong. Challies reminds us to go to God by reciting a short and simple, yet significant prayer in the Bible: “Lord Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief!”

Stronger Faith

The Spring season brought further changes for the Challies family, and they were challenged as well. From the physical changing of Nick’s old room, to the more intangible changes in Challies’ biography — the transitions came with the weight of reality. He writes that his challenge is to trust God for his son in the same way that he trusts a farmer for his food. For those who are currently journeying through sorrow, this book will spur you on to stronger faith.

The book ends in Summer, a season for courage and confidence. There is courage to face the challenges ahead, and confidence that God will supply his strength. This book will move you to tears, but you will also be moved to trust. While Challies’ skills as a writer are showcased throughout, it is his faith and belief in a sovereign God that stand out. Challies has written his words, and he places his trust in the Living Word.

Everlasting Joy

I’ve been reading Challies’ words for a very long time. From his blog to his books, when it comes to writing —he is one of my heroes. After reading this book, I simply thank God for his faith. I am resolved to better love my kids. I am encouraged to live every second, every minute, every hour, and every day for the Lord. And I am reminded that our earthly sorrow is just for a season. The ransomed shall return with singing. Everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They shall obtain gladness and joy. And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

I received a media copy of Seasons of Sorrow and this is my honest review. The author also provides several free resources to accompany his book: Seasons of Sorrow Application Questions & Group Study Guide (PDF), A Letter to Parents who have lost a child, and Helpful Things To Say To Grieving Parents. You can also read If God Would Outsource His Sovereignty.

[gornwen]

If you ever find yourself wondering if you are fit to face whatever it is life is throwing at you, remember that Sam Gamgee left Bag End tipsy after saying goodbye to the beer barrel in the basement.

#the lord of the rings is my comfort reading for 2020 #my handle is gornwen if you weren't expecting tolkien you weren't paying attention #lotr lols #fellowship of the ring #lord of the rings #lotr #sam gamgee

[pocketfulofrecs]

This week’s Author Spotlight is here! And our author in the spotlight is glitteringmoonlight! We really love this author and it seems like many of our friends do as well. We’ve both been recommended "on restitution" so many times! A testament of how good glitteringmoonlight is. If there was a list of authors to read as a newcomer, we think she would be on it for sure.

She has published 222k+ words on MDZS on ao3 in 12 works. You can find her @glitteringmoonlight on Tumblr.

Her fics:

Dreams of You (Are All I Have Left) - [teen | 2.7k | the 13 years]

love at every s(word f)ight - [teen | 3.2k | established relationship fluff]

one of our own - [general | 7.7k | 5 times the Lans defended WWX]

pay no attention to what’s behind the curtain - [teen | 7.4k | emperor!LWJ and concubine!WWX]

this version of our story - [general | 3.4k | Lan Sizhui learns about the Wens]

no smoke without fire - [teen | 12k | outsider pov about the Yiling Patriarch]

watch what we’ll become - [teen | 59k | arranged marriage between WWX and JZX - but still wangxian]

looking through a window - [teen | 5.4k | modern au online learning outsider pov]

pitfalls of greed (our post) - [teen | 3.3k | Yiling Laozu WWX]

our lives, never ours - [teen | 7.9k | hunger games au]

on restitution - [mature | 98k | WWX doesn’t die at the siege and is kept prisoner by JC - the rest of canon still happens]

this world (what I make of it) - [teen | 17k | wip | avatar au]

Dee’s favourite: I’m honestly torn? I love pitfalls of greed. It is one of the first fics I read. BAMF WWX is my jam. Looking through a window is a great fic too! There’s something so charming about outsider POV getting a glimpse of lovely Wangxian domesticity. The descriptions of LWJ and WWX are so enchanting here. I would highly recommend them.

Ju’s favourite: This was hard to choose, but “on restitution” has a big place in my heart. I was so afraid of reading it while the author was Anonymous, because the synopsis is so sad/angsty. The moment I saw who the writer was I started reading and just couldn’t put it down. And it is just so good!!! The first chapter is really angsty and it hurts a lot, but then the rest of the fic comes and it’s way less angsty than I expected. WWX is full of life, wangxian is absolutely glorious, and soft, and romantic, and sexy, and they tease and trust each other. The juniors are also there, and we get Wei Yuan for once! They are all so in character and it makes me so happy. Mostly WWX pov, but I cannot forget to mention Jingyi’s pov. I just couldn’t stop laughing at his chapter. Cannot rec this one enough.

The Interview:

Q. When did you start writing fics? Did you have fandoms before this one?

A. I used to write for Percy Jackson and Harry Potter in the early 2010s (under a different name), though not very prolifically, but that tapered off fairly quickly. Apart from a few unpublished fic drafts for Lord of the Rings and Leverage, I only really got back into fic writing after I rewatched Avatar: The Last Airbender in 2020.

Q. What made you start writing for MDZS?

A. Wangxian! What drew me to the source material was the fact that I found Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji utterly fascinating as individual characters, but it was how much I loved their relationship dynamic that got me thinking about writing fic. There was also something about the plot and themes of MDZS itself that I found very compelling, and that made me even more interested in exploring it in fic. I didn’t realize it would lead to me writing so many fics in this fandom, but I’m certainly not complaining!

Q. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

A. That’s a really hard question to answer because I love different fics for different reasons, and at any given time, the fic I’m working on at the moment is usually my favourite. Among my finished fics, I particularly love on restitution, because of the way I got to portray Wangxian (and how many sweet, fluffy interactions I managed to fit into it, which… might seem like an odd reason given the premise, summary, and tags) and no smoke without fire, because it contains so many tropes I love— Wei Wuxian being a genius inventor, Wei Wuxian and the Wen remnants as found family, kids loving Wei Wuxian… the list goes on.

Q. What’s your favourite type of fics to read?

A. It depends on the day, really. Sometimes I love a good plot-heavy fic and other times I just want tender domestic fluff. But when it comes to MDZS, I do have a soft spot for fics of the ‘Wei Wuxian protection squad’ variety and fics that heavily feature the Wen siblings and Wei Wuxian’s relationship.

Q. What’s your favourite comment? Or type of comment?

A. Any comment at all! It’s always amazing to know that someone liked my fic(s) enough to let me know! (Though it’s a special kind of thrill to see the same person comment on multiple of my fics, because it tells me that they liked my writing enough to check out what else I’ve written)

Q. What is your favorite trope to read and/or write?

A. Established relationship and all the subtropes that encompasses! I love the familiarity, the casual intimacy, the comfort in each other’s presence… I could go on and on. I also love a good outsider POV (as evidenced by how many of them I’ve written), and as a natural consequence, established relationship from outsider POV.

Q. Do you have any advice for new authors?

A. Write what you want to read. I’ve found that it’s a lot more enjoyable to write something that you personally like, and editing feels a lot less tedious when you enjoy what you’re proofreading. Also, there’s a good chance you’ll connect with other people who enjoy the same things you do!

Q. What do you think is the most important element in writing? Plot, characterization, relationship?

A. They’re all important, but characterization drives everything else, I feel. The characters— and the way they react to situations and to each other— influence how the plot progresses and the relationships develop, so characterization is an essential part of writing.

~

Check out their stories on ao3 and remember…

Comments and kudos feed the author’s soul.

#mdzs #author spotlight #glitteringmoonlight

[victoriareyloficlists]

10 April 2021 Updates to Reylo Engagements, Weddings, and Arranged Marriages

These fics have been added to the Engagements, Weddings, and Arranged Marriages list located here.

lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) A Night at the Opera by orphan_account (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Prince Benjamin is resistant to his arranged marriage to the Palpatine heir. ) And Closer Still Is Never Enough by lovefrompluto (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Historical AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben has an arranged marriage to Rey but what happens when he starts to court the wife who is a stranger to him?) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) Five Times That Ben Saved Rey's Valentine's Day & How She Forever Saved His by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech: He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) Newspaper Hearts by Celia_and (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “She made her Valentine’s cards. She tore hearts out of newspaper and glued them onto used envelopes and painstakingly wrote each child’s name. She probably spent days making them. And you know what she wrote on mine?” He doesn’t need to read it to know what it says, so he looks down at her instead, and the hand on her heart and the tears in her eyes. “Ben: You are OK. Rey.”) Sleepyhead by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben, a mere himbo, tucks a stray hair behind Rey's ear in class. He knows he deserves the hot coffee in her hand to be thrown in his face and yet he gets a date. ) The Background by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He draws her every week. He draws her looking at him smiling, thoughtful, or truly magical, He pours his heart and soul into these drawings. Every Sunday he comes to the hospital room, hoping to meet her eyes. But she's not waking up. His hope is fading. Today...) Port in the storm by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey pretends to be afraid of thunderstorms so she has an excuse to sleep next to Ben. Ben figures it out when he races home early after seeing thunder, fearing Rey will be crying alone curled up in a ball, only to find her totally chill and eating ice cream.) My Sandwich by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Someone took Ben's turkey sandwich at work, he is infuriated and eager for revenge, until he finds out it was Rey then those feelings no longer exist.) Through the Years by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Jakkson meet on the playground as children under unusual circumstances and quickly become best friends. This fic follows them through the years, showing glimpses of their friendship as it slowly progresses into something more.) heaven in hiding by blessedreylo (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They say it's impossible for a guy and girl to be "just friends", but Rey and Ben had managed to discredit that throughout their decade long friendship. What they both have is special, that people would often arrive at the conclusion the two were made for each other. He's her safe haven, her rock. She gives him a sense of clarity and direction. Ben and Rey know each other more than anyone ever possibly could. Therefore on Valentine's Day, their friends decided to secretly set them up together on a blind dinner date.) ignorance of etiquette by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Lady Rey Kenobi lives a life of pristine comfort and luxury on her family's estate in Chesire with her parents Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lady Satine Kenobi. When they receive word that an old family friend, Lord Benjamin Solo, is coming to visit, Lady Rey is reminded of how he tormented her as a child. She decides that she will prove herself not the same girl she once was in more ways than one.) key to the kingdom by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Princess Diaries AU, Quick Synopsis: Most girls get a drunk weekend in Vegas for their 21st birthday, but Princess Rey Kenobi gets the chance to rule the country of Alderaan. But the only way she can become Queen is if she marries a man in 30 days, or the throne goes to the selfish (and annoyingly attractive) usurper Lord Benjamin Solo. Will Rey be able to ascend to the throne or will it all just become a royal pain in the ass?) Baby, It's Just Biology by Polkadotdotdot (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 32 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus. It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology. An Alpha Omega love story.) for love or money by KiKi37 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 30 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The loss of a scholarship has left Rey Niima in a financial bind, with only a few months until graduation. Her friend Rose might know of something that could help.)

#reylo #reylo fanfic #rey #ben solo #kylo ren

[courtteeno]

Course Post #9: The End of the Internet

This week, after reading The Private Eye: Volume One, I have been thinking a lot about what would happen if The Cloud burst and if the Internet was no longer a thing. How different would life be? Would it be a good change or a bad change?

Image from The Private Eye: Volume One

One thing that I can’t stop thinking about is how great it would affect everyone that’s lived through these past few years. When the pandemic started in 2020, our lives suddenly shifted online. No more going to work, school, or out to see friends. If you wanted to escape the traumatic reality of a virus taking over the world, you had to escape online. 

Personally throughout the pandemic, my online libraries have expanded. I started buying books to read on my Kindle app, I bought new video games to connect with my friends online, and I paid for The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy so I could escape our reality to a fantasy one. To change my reality, I expanded the number of things I own online. Many other people have done the same to change their realities as well throughout the pandemic. 

Now, if the cloud did burst, what would happen to all of these things? Goodbye to all the novels I read on the Kindle app, no more video games, and The Lord of the Rings would vanish from my movie library. Suddenly, several people that purchased things online to survive through the pandemic would lose all of their reality-changing material.

To some people this thought may be comforting, no more internet to distract ourselves. But to others, this is terrifying. Suddenly, we are losing the online objects we poured hours of our lives into to comfort us during troubling times. 

On top of this, we probably couldn’t even get physical copies of these items. According to Geoffrey Morrison, in “You Don’t Really Own the Digital Movies You Buy,” we don’t even own the online content we purchase. When we buy things online, we purchase the digital rights to use them, not the actual content. Additionally, when you own something, you can sell or redistribute that item as you please. I can sell any of my old DVDs in a garage sale today if I wanted to. However, you can’t sell any digital content you own. Without physically owning it, and only having the digital rights, it means that almost any digital content you own is not yours. 

While it’s unlikely that we’ll lose access to everything we’ve bought online these past few years, it’s definitely possible. The Private Eye has made me wonder: do I need to start buying physical copies of what I want? Is the implication of only buying physical objects, rather than digital, worse for our world? (Would it change the environment for the worse or the space we have? Or would it create more jobs?) These answers are up to the future to decide. 

“So, no, you don’t own your digital files, and theoretically you could at some point be prevented from watching or listening to them. In reality, your digital collection is probably safe for the foreseeable future—but if the very idea of a company locking you out of your movies and music makes you angry, we suggest embracing physical media such as 4K Blu-rays and CDs, which will likely survive any digital-media apocalypse.” - Geoffrey Morrison in “You Don’t Really Own the Digital Movies You Buy”

Image from https://unsplash.com/photos/EOQhsfFBhRk

[diy-ke]

a very diykely roundup #1

here we go. I work in a fabrication shop and most folks have headphones or earplugs during the day so I've been listening to 30+hrs of media a week. along with that, I just miss having a place to reflect on what I've learned or liked in my weeks.

PODCASTS

Talk Easy: Holland Taylor

on her childhood: "I think I felt at sea. Which is not happy. I would not call it unhappy, but I think if you're sort of at a loss for what to do... I think all children need direction. I am absolutely wildy curious but as a child you don't know how to follow your curiosities. You don't know where to go, and you don't have any agency to go anywhere. I was restless."

This Land: Supply and Demand

on private adoption agencies putting Native children in foster-to-adopt homes instead of following ICWA which places children within their tribe: "They’re taking people who really want to adopt and licensing them to be foster parents. Fostering is routinely presented as a pathway to adoption on agency websites. But even within foster care, there’s still a supply and demand problem. There are more people signed up as foster-to-adopt parents than available children."

Articles of Interest: A Fantasy of Fashion

this episode is fantastically fun. this episode covers the revitalization of Parisian culture and fashion following WWII, and how the miniature figurines showcasing new clothing designs ended up in a strange museum perched on a cliff in rural Washington state.

Talk Easy: Jenny Slate in 2020

I kinda love Jenny Slate? whenever I hear her speak it's like we've known each other for a long time. on her book helping to comfort those who feel alone: "Sometimes you're doing something and you don't realize why you're doing it. If you're lucky. If you're lucky you can still do the thing without having to define it constantly while you're doing it and telling yourself what it is."

On Being: Suzanne Simard

this ep made me feel even closer to that spiritual sense of nature. on discovering that trees were swapping nutrients and feeding undergrowth: "The big old trees have big root systems. They’ve got many points of contact. And they have great big photosynthetic crowns that basically transmit energy into the ground that feeds the network. And so the interpretation was that these seedlings, the seedlings, the young regeneration had regenerated within the network of the old trees."

here's a playlist of those eps

MUSIC

song of the week:

Bombadil - Fence

just these lyrics: I am a fence in your backyard/Why is it so hard?/And it's hardly love if I can't let you run/Down to the gate, the latch is undone/And it's far enough if I can't see anyone/Don't make me wait/The latch is undone

here's a playlist of what I'm listening to

READS

ACE: What asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by Angela Chen

dear lord. this is the book I needed to read to feel less alone. for a long time, the longest time really, I've felt lonely when it comes to sexuality. being queer is pretty easy for me. being butch is ingrained in how I dress and present and I love it. but being ace has always left me feeling not-fully-seen. maybe this is really tmi but I've had categorically good, consensual, intimate, fun, queer sex and yet I come back to aceness with such open arms because I just don't experience the sexual attraction others do, and it doesn't make me feel as close to others as a good conversation does. or a simple gesture of kindness. or holding hands. this book made me feel so whole and beautiful bc we aces just seem to have this ability to see tenderness in love and friendship that is so unique to how we form connection. ugh I loved this book so damn much.

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

it's about navigating young life through the lens of fantasy and literature. it's about clothes and love. it's a beautiful graphic novel that rings like Ocean Vuong poetry in many ways.

Ever After by Olivia Vieweg

this is a dystopian story linked into an emotional journey for two young female characters as they make their way through zombie country. the illustration was evocative and sweetly bleak.

SHOWS

I don't like spoiling shows so I'm just listing titles for this category!

Only Murders In The Building

X-Files

Reservation Dogs

The Chair

Sex Education

i hope you have a really nice week :)

#sap hours #i don't know what i'm doing!!!! #i just like lists

[withhowsadsteps]

Safe at last - Matthew Connelly (HATYM)

AU Fic. So, HATYM but in the 2020's because I'm a slave of the modern society, lmao.

Warnings: Kearney. You know. Everything that comes with him. Drugs, alcohol, the usual HATYM stuff.

As usual, not proofread. I get the urge to write and if I have time I just write. Bad habits die hard. And it is like 4 am and I'm sleep deprived. Also, please, someone: I dont want to read my texts, give me some new Dean content

-

Matthew and I grew up together. He used to shelter me from any bullies, including one of his best friends Kearney. Kearney wasn't always as awful as he is now, but growing up in a household like his... well no wonder he turned out all twisted. Partying is not my thing, though. I prefer to stay at home or just have a game night with my friends. Or turn on Netflix and watch bad comedies or horror movies. And there was no way to escape the parties anyway. Everyone's snapchat and instagram stories were always filled with videos and pictures of stoned and drunken people.

I was sitting on my bed, my best friend lying next to me, talking about her most recent tinder match, but honestly, I wasn't listening. My eyes were glued on the newest picture Matthew had just minutes ago posted. It was a bit blurry, the neon lights of a party painting his face half blue and half pink. Jen's arms were around his neck. I couldn't help but feel jealous. I wanted MY arms to be around his neck, I wanted his arms to be around my waist.

As soon as my friend noticed my mental absence, she grabbed me by my arm and yanked me up from my bed. "Let's go. You have to tell him. You know their thing did not work out, they are not dating" she basically scolded me. Any of my attempts to stay home were ignored. Soon I found myself at the party, awkwardly standing alone. My friend promised to stay near me, but the tinder-boy was there and, well, he got her attention.

I let out a quiet curse when I spotted Kearney watching me. He winked at me and that made my skin crawl. Hell no. I turned around and started my way to the patio doors. At least I could try and get away from him. "Hey, Y/N, come back here!" Fuckk. You blocked him on every social media site you had. This would not be the first time for him to try and get under my sheets. As a kid, he would bully me relentlessly. But as soon as my boobs grew, the bullying turned to border-line harrasing. He is the reason why I don't hang out with Matthew or Rez too much anymore.

For a while I thought I was safe. No sign of my friend or Matthew, though. So I sat outside and watched the sky or played games on my phone. I was deeply focused on a hard level of my game when I smelled Kearney's cologne and the alcohol in his breath. I felt his arms come and embrace me. "FUCK OFF Joseph, don't you fucking touch me" I screamed and tried to get away from the situation. Obviously, even after lord knows how many drinks and whatever he had taken during the night, he is still stronger than me. Panic kicks in and I start to feel like I'm suffocating. Kearney is not afraid to do whatever he wants to. He is able to grab my face and force his lips on mine, but luckily he is not able to do anything more before my friend with her new fling grab me away from the shithead.

I did not expect to get bruises where Kearney grabbed my face last night, but the bruises are very visible. I turn away from the bathroom mirror, tears burning in my eyes. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously sitting outside alone was not a good idea. Kearney could've done anything. My phone vibrating in my pocket breaks my moment of despair. Matthew. He is facetiming me. I can't show him my face like this. No way. Hell, I will have to put a shit ton of makeup on my face just to hide the bruises from my parents.

Every five minutes my phone rings. It is Matthew and I don't pick up. Apparently he is not going to give up, though. The doorbell rings and I got no choice but go and open it. "I'm so fucking sorry" Matthew looks basically even worse than you. "I should've been there Y/N. I fucking should have been there" his voice breaks when he grabs me and hugs me tightly. And then I break down and the tears start flowing.

For the rest of the day, I stayed in Matthew's arms. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes I laughed at something he said. And sometimes we just sat silently and watched the TV. "I promise I'll never let him touch you again" he whispers in my ear. "And how are you going to do that, huh? Mattie, you're never around me. You're partying, smoking whatever and drinking. Making out with Jen. Oh, how do you think she'll react when she finds out you're here comforting me?" "Jen is... it's just a friends-with-benefits situation" "You didn't answer my first question" "What if I'll make you mine? Do you think that would solve the problem?" I turn my head quickly towards him, shocked. "Mattie, don't you fucking dare prank me" "I've loved you since we were kids, Y/N, why would I lie to you?"

I don't know what to say to him. I'm completely speechless. And so tired, too. The shock of yesterday drained me completely. He very gently presses his lips on one bruise, then the next. "I'll make sure no one hurts you, ever again" he mumbles against my skin, sending shivers down my spine. Before I can say anything, his lips come up to mine. And I feel safe. At last.

#matthew connelly #hatym #here are the young men #dean charles chapman #dean-charles chapman #dean chapman

[look-i-love-u]

Got tagged by @squidyyy23 and @energievie to answer these fandom and random questions - thank you, you lovely people. That's quite a challenge...

---

when did you start watching shameless?

Started watching it after a certain streaming service told me it's a "bingeworthy" series early in 2020. I had some time to kill and I liked the premise of the show. I loved the first few episodes so much (I fell hook, line and sinker for that one guy who rolled his shoulders and neck and crashed into the store yelling at my favourite character and never looked back) that I paced myself and only watched an episode a day. That didn't last long. XD

how did you start getting involved in the gallavich fandom?

Of course I tried to stay away as far as possible while I was still watching the show. Only after I had seen the wedding ep I hurried into the tumblr tags and started reblogging whatever gifs and pics I could get my hands on. Shortly afterwards I renamed one of my side-blogs and bugged someone who hasn't even watched the show so much with ff ideas till she kicked my arse so I'd start writing.

favourite shameless character? (other than ian & mickey of course)

Sheila and Liam

what plotline from the show irked you the most?

Trevor's speech to Ian about his behaviour towards Monica and Fiona S9.

favourite line from the show?

"I love you, Mickey Milkovich, more than anything" - because I felt that

"Guess what we've been doing, Daddy..." and of course "Look! I love you! I love you!"

fanfic(s) you can’t stop thinking about:

Is there Somewhere, Finding Light in the Shadows, While We're Making Other (People's) Plans, Bandage your Wounds (with the Salt on my Tongue), 100 Letters and Last of a Dying Breed.

The best concert(s) you’ve been to:

Not much of a concert person, unless you count musical theatre as concerts. XD

comfort movie franchise:

Lord of the Rings

piercings/tattoos?:

Pierced ears. That's it. Boring.

most rewatched tv show:

Friends, Sex and the City, Buffy

pet peeves:

slurping noises during eating or drinking

random fact about yourself:

I once got mistaken for a somewhat local famous actress by a lovely half-blind and half-deaf elderly gentleman.

I won't tag anyone this time as I saw so many of these on my dash already and you probably all got tagged at one point... if you haven't been... consider this your tag! I want to read your ff recs!!

#personal #tagging game #fandom and random questions