#the once and future feanor

[sakasakiii]

Hi!

I love your work!! Your art is very pretty. Do you have a specific idea of how old everyone is ? Do you lean more towards canon or do you have your own dates in mind ? If don’t wanna a answer it’s ok!

Hope u have a nice day

(Remember to drink water!)

hiiii nonnie!!! thank you for checking in, and im happy u like the stuff i put out!! when it comes to ages, it's difficult to answer sometimes bc of the way professor tolkien's timeline is-- it makes gauging one singular place where most of the cast can be compared something that makes my tired brain go 😵🤧🤕 but i love the prompt youve given! and thus heres my attempt at it

with most of my tolkien stuff, i always try to stick to canon wherever possible emphasis is on try lmao and the topic of ages is one such place. i do make exceptions to the Professor's canon sometimes for a few reasons: 1) i like some of the scrapped ideas in his drafts, or 2) i just prefer other options. with ages, i think the only charas with canon-established ages i deviated from are fingolfin, finrod, turgon, and aredhel. i try to keep cases like these minimal tho, so i hope it doesn't bother anyone too much... 👉👈

anyways i figured just dropping a list of numbers would be kinda boring to look at so heres an illustrated guide to what the ~rough~ ages of the finweans are in my head whenever i write or draw. Y.T. 1495 (the year Finwe dies) is the controlled medium ive used to enable a fair comparison of the Finweans

note: "born Y.T. xxx" means this is the canon date of birth listed on Tolkien Gateway. "est. born [xxx]" means this is a noncanon estimate:

the First Age gets a lot more muddled from there due to the hullaballoo of everything going on, so ill only be including the doriathrim and a few other denizens of nargothrond:

it's mostly the older elves that are more undefined/vague with their ages (i.o.w. others like elwing, earendil, the peredhil twins, and most Men all have set dates of birth), so they're all i'll be doing for now. but it's that vagueness which makes hcing all the more enjoyable, isn't it! plus since we’re on this subject, under the cut are just a few headcanons and musings ive had that i wanted to put somewhere 😙

Finarfin and Earwen were born within months of each other! Finwe and Olwe made a Really Big Deal out of when they found out their wives were pregnant at the same time. As a result, the two were often sent on many playdates with each other to “bolster healthy relations” between the Noldor and the Teleri. It wasn’t an arranged marriage situation, but I like to think they were goofy for each other from the start… Resulting in the two eventually getting married as soon as they came of age, the fastest out of all of Finwe’s kids to do so. 

The reason the Ambarussa are significantly younger than the other Finweans (especially the Feanorians-- there’s a 100 Valian year gap between them and Curufin alone!) is because I imagine they were accidental babies that even Feanor didn’t expect to conceive. too bad morgoth said "its morgin time!" and started Messing Things Up shortly afterwards.....

Anaire was Lalwen's good friend long before she married Fingolfin; they met through Lalwen who wingmanned Fingolfin the whole time. i like think Anaire'd be the best out of all the wives at keeping good, healthy bonds with all the women of her family :DD

luthien's potential 姐姐/big sis dynamic with all the younger doriathrim elves is something i daydream about a lot 😌 but sometimes the fact that she's older than finarfin keeps me up at night

this has been really fun, so thanks again for asking-- annnd yessir, i am chugging water as i write this so you better be doing the same ❤️ have a great start to your week!

#silmarillion #rin replies #anon asks #house of finwe #the silmarillion fanart #if anyones confused: in my hc rumil is miriel's dad + elenwe and glorfy are siblings + and so are luthien and daeron :DD #and by FA 464 its been some years since erestor was enslaved but gwindor hasnt been captured in the nirnaeth yet #gilgal and maeglin are still babbbbies...... #i might do a gondolin edition in the future alongside an end of the first age update once i figure out how to make it less confusing eghrh #feanorians #finweans #doriath #nargothrond #maedhros #maglor #feanor #luthien #thingol #finrod #sons of feanor #silm #silm art #headcanons #maeglin #eol #fingon #fingolfin #finarfin #finwe #nolofinweans

[eleneressea]

In your time travel maedhros au, how are things going between Feanor and Fingolfin since Maitimo got sent to Lorien and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that he and Findekano have feelings for one another. How’s Finwe dealing with all this?

Finwë is doing extremely bad about all this! But mostly for Míriel-related reasons.

Maitimo goes back to just about when Morgoth gets released, and the Ungoliant Incident happens not that long after Fëanor makes the Silmarils, so the Fëanor-Fingolfin relationship is actually not that bad because Morgoth hasn't had a chance to really get the lies going yet. They don't get along, they're still rivals and the family situation is still complicated, but they aren't enemies. This means that there's a chance that they can patch things up. Fëanor is dealing with his "Am I a bad parent?" crisis and knows that Maitimo would like him and Fingolfin to get along, so he's putting in an effort to not snap at Fingolfin. too much. Fingolfin, meanwhile, is very aware that Maitimo saved Findekáno, so he's working on being nicer to Fëanor, and the result is…several very awkward conversations. but they're polite very awkward conversations.

Once Maitimo wakes up and starts manipulating uh I mean influencing his family from his sickbed,* the awkward conversations increase in length and frequency. At one point Fëanor even ventures a comment about Indis that isn't a veiled insult! The bar may be low but they're clearing it!

It is, unfortunately, not obvious that Findekáno and Maitimo have feelings for each other. Emotions are high! Maitimo saved Findekáno's life! Findekáno staying by Maitimo's sickbed and clutching his hand…is not necessarily romantic when he nearly died for you, y'know? So Maitimo knows that Findekáno has feelings for him (because future) but Findekáno thinks that nobody knows how he feels, and to be fair very few people do,** same for Maitimo. They're pining.

*guy arranged large land deals with Thingol in the single year between the Eagle rescue and his abdication; as soon as he's coherent he's going to be judiciously telling his cousins and siblings things to get them to do what he wants. Sometimes that's fomenting rebellion among the Teleri, sometimes that's more pillows and extra treats.

**to wit: Maitimo, Anairë, Ambarussa, Galadriel. Anairë knows her eldest, Ambarussa and Galadriel were (separately) sneaking around eavesdropping and heard Findekáno telling an unconscious Maitimo about his feelings. Galadriel is about four and doesn't understand romantic love yet; Ambarussa think it's very funny. They've nicknamed him "Findekáno Astaldo" sarcastically for his great bravery in confessing his feelings to someone who is unconscious and can't hear him.

#though ambarussa know it does take guts to look at nelyafinwe maitimo and go 'yeah that one i want him' #so it's not entirely sarcastic. just mostly. #fingon #maedhros #russingon #feanor #fingolfin #time travel maedhros

[polutrope]

@ettelene requested Feanor + boycotting a holiday for the modern AU holiday prompts! Here you are, ~775 words of condo developer Feanor, his family, and his many rivals. No warnings besides a little cursing (one f-bomb), as usual.

Amid zoning feud with City Hall, Ambar Metta withdraws funding for Yule Parade

Future of beloved celebration threatened by powerful Beleria development group. Has Finvesen’s grudge gone too far?

Fëanor slammed his laptop shut. “Ridiculous accusations,” he muttered into his coffee before taking a sip and grimacing. Too hot.

His phone pinged.

Nelyafinwë 🧡 Did you read it? 8:05am

Fëanáro Slander. Let them lob their accusations at us, you know it’s nothing to do with grudges. If that Singh-Goel had given us the permit for Himring Towers we would not be in this situation. 8:05am

We don’t have the budget! 8:06am

Elu has no one to blame but himself!! 8:07am

Three dots ticked along the bottom of his messaging app. Fëanor slammed the table and slurped his coffee. His eldest could be so infuriating sometimes! What was taking him so long to reply?

Nelyafinwë 🧡 Right. I know. But if Sindar Herald is painting it that way don’t you think we should consider the possible consequences for the business? 8:09am

Thumbs flying in outrage, Fëanor typed a reply. Then deleted it. Then retyped it.

Fëanáro Did your boyfriend put you up to this? 8:11am

Nelyafinwë 🧡 Omg no dad! Fingon hasn’t even seen the article. Curufinwë sent it to me. 8:11am

Fëanáro Curvo sent you this? Why didn’t he tell me himself? 8:11am

Nelyafinwë 🧡 I don’t know. Can I call you? 8:12am

Fëanor closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Fëanáro Not right now. 8:12am

Have a good day Nelyo 🙂 8:13am

Fëanor swiped his phone app open and clicked the first name in his call history.

“Hello? Dad?” answered Curufin. His voice was hoarse.

“Curufinwë, why didn’t you tell me about that article?”

“What article?”

Fëanor huffed. “The libel about the Yule Parade sponsorship!”

“Oh, yeah — fucking bullshit.”

“Do you know what your brother said to me? That we should ‘consider the business consequences.’”

“Ugh, really? Sorry dad, I was going to call you, I swear. But I didn’t want to just dump it on you — ugh, Nelyo! — but Tyelpë has a cold and he’s staying home from school, I didn’t have a chance to—”

“What! Tyelperinquar isn’t well?” Fëanor’s indignation over the article was immediately swept aside by a surge of panic for his favourite (only) grandchild. “Why didn’t you ask us to take him! Bring him over at once. I have told you a thousand times, your mother and I can take him anytime you need—”

“No, we can’t.” Nerdanel strolled into the dining room, dressed smartly in a long pencil skirt and blazer with her hair pulled back in a tight bun.

Distracted once more, Fëanor lowered the phone from his mouth and gawked at his wife. “What’s the occasion, Raspberry? You look fabulous!”

“I have that meeting about the wire sculptures at the Aelin-Uial Park light display.” She sighed and slipped into a pair of glossy red flats. “They’re saying we can’t afford the blue and green LEDs — well, they were the ones who wanted the tunnel to have an oceanic vibe.”

“I guarantee Singh-Goel’s behind that!” Fëanor shouted, forgetting he had his son on the phone.

Nerdanel rolled her eyes. Scooping up the paper from the foyer table, she dropped it in front of Fëanor. “Here. I think you should read this. Goodbye, dear.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and was out the door.

Fëanor looked at the front page headline.

The holiday spirit is saved! Hithlum Properties picks up the tab for Yule Parade

By Melkor Cifarelli

Underneath this was the grinning face of Fëanor’s greatest rival (damn his brilliant blue eyes and perfect jawline!), he who had won the bid for the redevelopment at Mithrim Lake: Fingolfin Noldoran Finvesen. The biological son of his late beloved father and that gold-digging witch from Valma.

“That bastard!”

“… Dad?” Curufin said on the other end of the line.

“Sorry Curvo dear, I have to go. Oh, Fingolfin, you—! You’ll regret this.”

“Wait, what did he—”

Fëanor ended the call before his son had a chance to finish and furiously scrolled through his contacts for the personal number of Mayor Elu Singh-Goel.

“Yes, hello, Elu! Happy Diwali! Oh - right, of course. What? Of course I knew it happened already. Anyway, I have reconsidered the sponsorship of the Parade. In fact, I’d like to increase Ambar Metta’s funding this year.”

#feanor #maedhros #curufin #nerdanel #thingol #modern au #holiday prompts #my fic #beleria au

[annoyinglandmagazine]

@tolkienfamilyweek Day 2: Siblings

You know what gets me about Celegorm and Curufin specifically? They are quite possibly two of the least redeemable characters in the Legendarium (saying a lot) and are equally fucked up but in fundamentally different ways. Curufin believing in his father absolutely even after everything and still being convinced in his righteousness and resenting others for standing in the way of what the sees them as morally entitled to whereas Celegorm just doesn’t think in terms of right or wrong anymore, he’s not trying to be ‘good’ he has a goal and he’ll take any path available to achieve it.

Purely selfish in both cases but Curufin has a god complex (or more like he puts Feanor on a pedestal and agrees with his god complex) and hates the Valar with a vitriol and has successfully bent himself over backwards to consider all his actions entirely justified. Whereas Celegorm genuinely doesn’t bother justifying himself at this point and has the ‘well we’re all doomed anyway so who the fuck cares anymore?’ attitude to future actions. He doesn’t hate the Valar for the same reasons some of the others do, he doesn’t distrust them or believe they’re evil, he feels his people were abandoned and resents it because he knows he was in the wrong but Morgoth is very clearly worse and haven’t they suffered enough yet?

Very different and terrible kinds of evil, but equally evil. Do they really understand each other’s moral compass (or lack of it)? Probably not, but they accept it anyway. They know that nothing they do will ever disgust or horrify the other because they’re both as bad as each other and there’s something freeing (if decidedly unhealthy) about that lack of judgement.

I am so obsessed with the dynamic of two mass murderers with no morals whatsoever never once contemplating stabbing each other in the back because they love each other just as much as any of the heroes love their family. Think about it, Curufin has his father’s name, his face, his skill set, and we know these are the things that Curufin would consider of utmost importance. There’s no way Curufin doesn’t think he should be on a throne, he was most probably out for Fingolfin’s and canonically out for Finrod’s. But he wasn’t out for Finrod’s throne to take himself, he wanted to place Celegorm on it.

He thinks insanely high of himself and thinks he’s worthy to be a king but he clearly believes Celegorm just as worthy and has trust that his brother would value his input and treat him as an equal, which doesn’t seem that far fetched because, even with all the clashes you’d think would come between two strong personalities like them, they ruled Himlad jointly for years with no power struggles. What’s more it seems like this was by choice, that instead of ruling their own realms, which you’d imagine proud people like them would want to do, they preferred to share Himlad in an equal partnership.

Curufin is so terrible even his own son, and presumably wife, can’t bear to be around him anymore but Celegorm? He’s never going to leave him, never, they are always going to back each other up and everyone else will suffer for it.

One of my favourite moments with them is when everything goes to hell, they’ve been banished, Finrod’s dead, Luthien escaped and then, to top it all of, they try to get revenge on one maiden and a mortal and not only get utterly trashed but Celegorm’s dog who he’s had since childhood and kept as a companion through everything up until this point finally changes sides with no warning whatsoever and chooses Luthien over him (on another note, what the hell Huan? You seriously haven’t had moral qualms before now? Even if this was the last straw for you could you not have picked a better moment than when Celegorm looked like the only person who was going to stop his brother being throttled to death?)

So Curufin’s almost died and Celegorm, after they got absolutely humiliated and have lost everything due mostly to the two people in front of him and he’s not known for his ability to control his anger, is ready to leave. After Curufin is released Celegorm takes him unto his horse and starts to ride off with him before Curufin initiates again and fires after them. Celegorm is the hunter among them, presumably he’s far better with his own bow and he definitely wants revenge, but he doesn’t shoot after them. He’s willing to give up his revenge for his brother’s safety and that’s more of a show of love for them than anything else could be.

All I’m saying is that if they didn’t get to die in each other’s arms and be together at the end they’d been rushing to side by side their whole story….

#Tolkienfamilyweek #Celegorm #celegorm and curufin #curufin #playlist #sons of feanor #Spotify #Meta #lay of leithian #himlad #Nargothrond

[fuckingfinwions]

As far as Celebrimbor could see, the problem with the Silmarils hadn't been that everyone wanted to steal them. That was inherent in making any object of power worth the name.

The problem was that the Silmarils could be stolen. Feanor wore them or set them down in a vault as he pleased, and then it was a simple matter for someone to pick them up. Celebrimbor would not make that mistake.

Celebrimbor made three rings and told no one. He had made lesser rings before but these would be his great work, the type of thing which could only be made once. They said that the Silmarils held part of Feanor's spirit and reflected the bliss of Valinor; Celebrimbor would do one better.

The Three rings would channel Celebrimbor's spirit and magnify it, allowing him power he could never reach unaided. He had designed rings for men and dwarves before, and the Three looked superficially similar. They were ring designed for elves, made by an elf, worn by an elf, but more than that the Three were the rings of elves. They channeled beauty and resilience, arrogance and grandeur, lasting for all the ages of the world. The echoes reached out to every elf in Ost-in-Edhil, reminding them that Arda was their inheritance, to shape and cherish and rule. As long as Celebrimbor believed in the strength of his people, they would have it.

As for theft, that had been a simple matter to solve, though far from painless. The Three were made of Celebrimbor's soul, but they became part of of his flesh as well.

Celebrimbor had done much of the forging normally, setting the gems and singing songs of power until the metal seemed to glow with purpose. Each future ring was only a curved bar though, the end unjoined and sharp. They were not complete, and would unravel in a matter of weeks if not finished.

When the enchantment for Narya was missing only the last step, Celebrimbor went down to the forge and heated it once more, letting the metal grow soft enough to bend without letting it loose any symmetry. Then he stabbed it into his body, binding its power to him forever. He nearly screamed in pain as his flesh sizzled, but that was why he hard started with the ring of flame. Celebrimbor did not die, and carefully bent the ring closed and melted the ends together. Then he ducked his whole body into the water barrel to quench the ring, letting himself drift in pain for a few moments before coming up for air.

Narya, the ring of fire, he placed near his heart. Vilya was next, mirroring it and close to his lungs, the ring of air moving with his every breath. Nenya was last, and most difficult. He had been able to see hi own chest when completing VIlya and Narya, but Nenya would go in his tongue, so each sip of water would be blessed by his own creation. Celebrimbor drew on Narya's power to withstand the flame, and Vilya's to keep from drowning as he quenched the final point.

Celebrimbor locked himself in the forge for three days to finish the Three, and at the end there was no other elven work as great.

#celebrimbor #working title was Celebrimbor and the worst piercings #celebrimbor of eregion #canon divergence i guess

[the-elusive-soleil]

My standard headcanon, which I do very much like, is that Elrond and Elros are essentially curse/doom kryptonite because of Luthien mojo, Tuor-blessed-by-Ulmo mojo, etc. But it occurred to me that there could be another possibility, and I don't have time to fully write it, so y'all can run wild with it:

What if, around the time Elrond and Elros have to make the Choice of the Peredhil, they're also told that they have to choose whether to be counted as (half) Noldor or Sindar? (For right now, we'll assume Elros also has to make this choice, even though he's going to be living as a human, because it will affect how he sets up his kingdom and who he can ally with.)

The thing is, ever since they joined up with the Host of the West, they've been confusing the snot out of everybody. They look like Luthien's line. They've been raised by Feanorians for, let's say, the past forty-odd years, and it's in their mannerisms, their clothes, the way they fight. They switch, sometimes apparently at random, between using Earendilion, Nelyafinwion, or Kanafinwion as patronymics. In a camp that is ostensibly all one army, but under the surface is positively rife with different factions, they insist on making friends with people from everywhere.

The Valar are getting confused, too: what exactly are they supposed to do with these two, with their absolute trail mix of heritages?

So Eonwe or whoever finally tells them that they have to choose. Either they can be Sindar and have the friendship of Oropher's people, go by Earendilion (or maybe Elwingion, to be safe) and never speak Quenya or wear the Star of Feanor again, but have the blessing of Luthien...or they can be Noldor, and stay in touch with the people and customs they've lived most of their lives with at the expense of associating with their mother's people. Also, in that case, they'll definitely fall under some kind of doom, but it won't be so bad if they declare themselves as Nolofinwean through Idril, rather than Feanorian by adoption.

Obviously, their first response would be to be stubborn and difficult and rules-lawyering, and not choose at all. And that would be really fun to see. But say they couldn't. Say they had to choose. What then?

Let's say they split the difference. Does Elros choose to be counted as (metaphysically and by origin) Sindar so that his kingdom can thrive, and then quietly keep Elrond and Maglor and (assuming he's survived) Maedhros under his aegis so their doom can't catch up with them? Does Elrond take this on instead, since he's the designated immortal one, and try to find some way to keep in close enough touch with his brother and fathers to pass along some of his luck? How well does this work? What happens to Numenor if its first king is carrying a family curse? What happens to Elrond if he's the cursed one, trying to dodge his way through the successive ages of the world once his brother is gone?

Or let's say they both embrace the Noldor side, just to pull the rug out from under everyone who thinks they'll take this chance to ditch the people who raised them. Presumably it doesn't get as bad as it does for, say, Turin, but how bad does it get? How do they deal with the guilt crises that Maglor and Maedhros absolutely will have over this? How long does Numenor last (or does it fall in exactly the same time and manner as in canon, just with people blaming something different)? Does Rivendell exist at all? What do the Second, Third, Fourth Ages look like now?

Or let's say, for whatever reason you like, that they choose their Sindar side. Maybe because it's a side of themselves that they never got to fully explore, and they don't want to give it up out of hand. Maybe in an attempt to keep the people around them safe. Maybe because they have just a bit of foresight and see that they'll be needed in certain roles in the future and this is the best way. Maybe because Maglor and Maedhros have taken the Silmarils and vanished, and the twins think their adoptive family doesn't want them anyway. What does that look like? How do they reconcile their new lives with their old ones? How many habits do they have to break that they didn't even realize would be looked on with suspicion? How bad is the culture shock, and how long until it wears off?

Assuming they choose, how much do you think they try to fudge it, aiming for a sneaky blend of both? How well does it work? Are the attempts an open, amused secret? Or do they try and fail, over and over again, until they realize that whatever they chose is set into the fabric of reality just as their choices between Man and Elf altered something deep in them?

How will the parent(s) they didn't choose to follow react when, inevitably, they all meet again?

#silmarillion #thinky thoughts #just a bit of free range weirdness #elrond #elros #kidnap fam #the everything bagel backgrounds of elros and elrond

[theelvenhaven]

Amilesse

Feanor x Nerdanel ft. Vanifinwe

3k Words

Surprise! | Amilesse

* * *

Nerdanel smiled softly as she sat on a stool just at the threshold of her workshop, watching as her youngest and final child run around with her eldest son who pretended to chase after her. Vanifinwë’s cries and squeals of delight were adorable and it warmed her heart to see how Maitimo got on so well once more with another one of his little siblings.

Nerdanel smiled, with a soft laughter leaving her lips, as the elfling ran away with her little red dress flouncing with her bouncing steps and her curly hair bouncing and flowing in the gentle breeze of Manwe. Maitimo making gentle threats of how he was going to capture her, which only further delighted the toddler to squeal out peels of laughter.

Yet despite it all a stress was looming over Nerdanel’s head. Even as she watched her carefree youngest and only daughter play with her big brother. The sight should’ve eased all of her worries and concerns but it didn’t.

Foresight had paid it’s visit to Nerdanel finally regarding Vanifinwë.

Showing that it was time to pick an amilesse- a mothers name- for her daughter. Yet despite all the joy that was here currently, Nerdanel was met with strife and conflict, a long and daunting future for her little girl. One that came in flashes in her minds eye when she had been resting. It scared her for her daughter.

The sight of swords and fire, unfamiliar forests, with energetic stress that had consumed her before peace finally made itself present with rich waterfalls and elven architecture. One that was so far in the distant future… It felt as though it took ages in her sleep to get to that point.

Vanifinwë had a long future ahead of her, a fate tha was unavoidable despite how many times Nerdanel tried to take the reins in the dream and control what came next. To try and tamper with fate, to see what she could do differently to change what could happen to her sweet little girl. It was a heavy burden, and felt equally as heavy when she had tried to name Amrod, Umbarto. Much to Fëanaro’s heavy distress until he convinced her to change his name.

At least with that the next dream that had visited her regarding Amrod it was eased with the name change. Yet try as she mull over less prophetic names for her daughter, the dreams were always the same.

Fire and smoke, swords of steel under a starry sky, untamed wild lands, before intermittent peace here or there before finally the waterfalls and elven architecture ended her dreams. It never changed, no matter how hard or how many names Nerdanel went through to give Vanifinwë something meaningful something that Fëanaro would approve of.

Yet all that came to mind was Anamartindë.

Long Fated Woman.

Fëanaro was going to hate it, it was going to be an argument no doubt. Their darling daughter didn’t deserve such a heavy and prophetic name such as Anamartindë, but the more Nerdanel thought on it. The more it stuck in her mind. This time there was no winning and Fëanaro wasn’t going to get his way, as much as Nerdanel would love to give into the whim of giving her a name that wasn’t that.

She sighed heavily letting worry crinkle on her brows, before she gave a soft smile as Vanifinwë began to laugh hysterically as Maitimo lifted her up. Pressing his lips to her belly and blowing a raspberry that tickled her littlest one. For now she would focus on the good seeing this image of her two children hundreds of years apart, play and be blissfully unaware of the future to come.

* * *

Dinner came and went, the night had been full of talk and fun. Her sons indulging her with grand stories about their hunts, or her tempering arguments with her most sensitive children, hearing the talks of music and politics. Equally as important how her husband fawned and doted on their youngest as he fixated on helping her eat her meal offering her a break to spend time with their eldest children.

Especially before Vanifinwë would steal her attention for bath and bedtime.

Which had gone surprisingly smooth, as the little elfling was positively exhausted from her afternoon play with Maitimo and having missed her nap. Nerdanel hardly sat in the rocking chair, when Vanifinwë closed her heavy eyes, laying against her mother in exhaustion. Nonetheless she still rocked her baby knowing that time was a thief from these moments.

Before finally she relinquished her to her bed, tucking her in and pressing a kiss to her head. Knowing now she must tell Fëanaro of the amilesse she had chosen for her daughter. Despite knowing he would be upset, it didn’t deter her even as she quietly walked down the hallways to their shared chambers. His wrath and distress was no match for her never ending patience.

She sighed out as she shut the bedroom door behind her, watching as Fëanaro came out of the washroom, dripping wet and his hips wrapped in a towel. Another was drying his long black hair before his intense silver eyes landed on her figure. There was a look of concern there that found his face when he saw that she seemed stressed.

“Is everything alright my dear?” He asked moving towards his dresser to fetch a comfortable and lounging pair of trousers. Nerdanel offered him up a weak smile as she came to the bench that sat at the foot of their bed.

“Vani didn’t give you too much trouble did she? I could have helped.” Fëanaro said, making Nerdanel’s smile grow for a moment knowing that he had such a soft spot for their daughter. Probably a bigger one for her than he did their sons, though she knew he wouldn’t admit to that. Not wanting to cause any strife about favoritism issues- though it was clear to everyone that his favorite was Atarinke. Vanifinwë was surely coming quickly into second place, bringing Atarinke to try and father her too. Much to Vanifinwë’s annoyance already despite her young age.

“Oh no, if anything she was calm and easy going tonight for bath and bed.” Nerdanel answered as she began to untie her boots and slip them from her feet. For a moment there was silence between the pair of them and it was tenser than Fëanaro hoped or imagined it should be for such an easy going bedtime routine with their youngest.

He said nothing for the moment as he dressed into those loose lounging trousers, ones that hung from his hips loosely even despite being tied. Usually this would be tantalizing to Nerdanel to see her husband in such a manner she found almost provocative but the amilesse just returned to her mind over and over again.

Fëanaro turned to see his wife sitting here with her head hanging low and her shoulders slackened. Looking far from the confident nis he was used to seeing, quietly he padded across the floor and kneeled down in front of her, between her legs. His hands gently coming to cup her face, his thumbs tenderly stroking her ruddy and freckled face. Watching the small smile that pulled at her lips as she closed her eyes to savor his affections.

“Nerdanel.. What in Eru’s name is on your mind to have you so distressed, my love?” He watched as her pale blue eyes flickered up to meet his and he could see hesitation. Knowing her well enough by now, after so many hundreds of years together, eight children together, seven pregnancies, and traveling and tons of life experience… The look in her eyes was undeniable. There was something ailing her and she was afraid to tell him.

“You can tell me anything, Nerdanel.” He assured her with conviction, and she sighed out again. Fëanaro watched the way she seemed to close her eyes again and sit up straighter. Trying to bolster her confidence, he didn’t rush her despite his growing impatience to know what was on her mind. Nerdanel took his hands from her face and brought it to hold in hers in her lap. Before she looked him in the eyes,

“I have an amilesse for Vani.” Nerdanel confessed with her own conviction and firmness, and she watched the way that a smile seemed to find his lips. Thrilled to hear that it finally happened! It seemed as though it would never come and she’d be well into her majority before Nerdanel would be able to choose one for her.

“That is wonderful news! What is it?” Fëanaro asked with eagerness to know what perfectly beautiful name his wife would’ve chosen for their perfect daughter. But Nerdanel nonetheless braced herself, for her next words she predicted would upset him.

“Anamartndë.”

The meaning took no time to fill the linguist in Fëanaro in on the implications of such a name. Long Fate Woman… Meaning their daughter would be subjected to trials and tribulations. This was just as bad as when she tried to name Amrod Umbarto.

“No.” Fëanaro said firmly as a frown found his lips, and he went to stand. No, he wasn’t naming his innocent daughter Long Fate Woman. Never in a million years, as long as he lived and breathed there was no way in creation that he’d accept that would be her name and let this prophecy come into fruition.

“Absolutely not, Nerdanel we are not doing this again.” Fëanaro said firmly and loudly, angrily. He hated it, but Nerdanel didn’t seem unchanging in the sense that she was going to back down. If anything it seemed to bolster her confidence to fight against his words.

“Yes Fëanaro, that is her name.”

“It is not! I will not let you do this again!” Fëanaro stated as he stood to his feet beginning to pace back and forth in their room. But Nerdanel huffed out through her nose,

“I understand you are upset-“

“Upset? I am furious! To think you are prophesizing such terrible things onto our child! Our only daughter no less! Was Pitayfinwe not enough? Now Vani?” Fëanaro argued back, his anger seeping through the cracks of his firm and stoic façade, growing quickly emotional at whatever it was she dreamt of this time.

“I understand Fëanaro, I am not pleased by it either.” Nerdanel told him with confidence, confiding to him about her own displeasure for the name.

“Then you will name her something else!” Fëanaro said staunchly, meaning every single word and giving Nerdanel no room to budge on the matter. He feared it would be just as Pityafinwe’s fate. Ended cruelly in fire and smoke, at least that was what the last dream implicated for the pair of them. Which he had hoped that by having Nerdanel change his name, it changed his course and fate for something a little more hopeful.

“I have tried, I have mulled over anything else than Anamartndë.”

“Then you have not tried hard enough!” Fëanaro snapped bitterly,

“I have, Naro. No amount of mulling over, or name change has changed the dreams I have. The foresight is all the same, Anamartndë is her mother name.” Nerdanel professed, setting it into stone now at this, and Fëanaro’s face turned beat red. Rivaling her ruddy complexion, he was livid at the idea someone so innocent would have so many trials to face. Even if he didn’t know what the dreams were about he wanted his daughter to have a good and happy life. One that was just as carefree as her brothers.

“It is not! What else have you come up with? We will pick from those.” Fëanaro argued back, but he knew the power of having spoken her name twice now would supersede whatever Nerdanel threw out there. If she even did so. To his distress, Nerdanel shook her head no.

“No, Fëanaro her name is Anamartndë and that is final.” Nerdanel argued back snappishly, not budging like she had before. Not when the foresight was all the same, unlike Pityafinwe’s. There was no changing Vanifinwë’s course. Eru meant it was definitive, and that it was going to happen no matter what they named her.

Anamartndë fit her best for what was to come.

“It can’t be!” There was a lament in his loud and angry voice, and Nerdanel felt for her husband at the sound of his voice.

“I don’t want it to be either, but Eru and even Irmo has a course set for our daughter that is long and arduous before she is met with peace.” Fëanaro tsked at his wife’s words, folding his arms over his chest with a tick in his jaw, not looking at her.

There was a heavy silence that fell over the two of them. No one moved, no one said a thing for a long moment. Nerdanel simply letting Fëanaro mull over the fact he couldn’t rectify or change anything. Not this time. Until finally Nerdanel opened her mouth to speak,

“The vision always starts the same, in flashes. There is fire and smoke. The sky is dark but glittering with stars, with silver swords and icy winds. She meets peace once or twice, but the feeling of doom during those times until the fire and smoke start again with overwhelming sense of stress.” Fëanaro didn’t say anything as Nerdanel spoke, simply turning his head to hide his face as he ground his teeth, biting back the wetness that met his long lashes.

He didn’t want that for her.

Would she ever know true peace? How did he protect her from those things? Would the bliss of childhood be tainted with those things? He had so many questions, not enough answers, and Irmo was ever a cryptic bastard so he couldn’t be sure if it would start soon or later. Not unless his wife had an idea.

“When?” He asked, did it feel soon? Later? In the present?

“Sometime in her future. It is distant.”

“Then there is ample opportunity to shelter her, and protect her from those things. From whatever it is fate is trying to d-“

“I have thought the same thing, but it doesn’t change. There is no recourse no matter the plan I set, no matter the name change, no matter whom I withhold her from or let her see. It never changes. This is her future.” Yet Fëanaro didn’t look appeased or quelled by Nerdanel’s words.

“Her future should not be filled with such doom and stress, it is a trick of Irmo. Melkor has perhaps spent too much time in Irmo’s Gardens and tainted the Lord of Dreams and Rest.” Fëanaro snarked bitterly, refusing to bend to the will of the Irmo and the twisted foresight that was granted to Nerdanel. Refusing to even acknowledge them as visions, but now even as dreams.

“Naro-“

“No! You are not naming her Anamartndë I will not allow it!” He yelled loudly and over Nerdanel trying to reason with him. Not his darling baby girl. No little one should have to worry about such a future or their parents worry about it. It was sickening.

“I have already started calling her Anamartndë.” Nerdanel said firmly in retort, standing from her spot at the bench.

“You will call her something else!” He yelled again,

“I will not! She is Anamartndë! That is her name-“

“Never will that be her name! You’ve gone mad-“

“Do not disregard your daughters-“

There was a creak that froze the pair who were in a bitter battle of wills against one another, and the sound of sniffling that met their ears. Both turning quickly to look to find that the toddler had escaped her bed now standing in the threshold of the doorway in her nightgown. Wiping her eyes, Fëanaro was the first to sigh out in frustration and defeat. Though it would not be for long, they’d speak more on it later.

“Vani, why are you up vanimelda?” Fëanaro said trying to usher a softer and more loving voice as he began to approach her. His heart melting and burning as she held out her arms for him to pick her up, but the toddler didn’t say anything as her father scooped her up off the ground.

“Ana..” Nerdanel cooed coming over to the pair, and to Fëanaro’s dismay he watched how responsive she was to the affectionate nickname for Anamartndë. But he bit his tongue he didn’t want to distress her further.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Nerdanel asked, and slowly Vanifinwë nodded her head against Fëanaro’s shoulder.

“Come now Nerdanel… We probably woke her.” He relinquished with some guilt knowing her room was only a few paces from their bedroom door. To which Vanifinwë only nodded again. There was a collective sigh,

“Here do you want to get into bed with me?” Nerdanel asked holding out her hands, but she watched the way Vanifinwë frowned and curled closer into Fëanaro. Despite the sting of rejection she only smiled that she wanted Fëanaro,

“No.” She grumpily stated, and Fëanaro chuckled softly. Rubbing her little back and kissing her head.

“Does my favorite girl want her Atya?” There was a softness in his voice as he spoke moving away to walk around the bed and move to sit on it, with Vanifinwë still snuggled into his chest. Feeling her nod her little head, tangling her curly hair further that stuck up wildly on the back of her head. Both knew that they wouldn’t get further into this conversation.

For now they’d rest and come back to the topic of conversation at a later date, when little Vani was distracted. No one was winning, it was a losing battle of wills and now it all boiled down to Vanifinwë and whether she’d take on the moniker.

“Well then, while you two cuddle I am going to bathe I am covered in dust and clay.” Nerdanel said with a sigh, but she smiled looking over the sight of her husband cuddled up with their last toddler. This would be the last time they’d do stuff like this with littles and it was a little bittersweet. The sight was so soft and gentle, it was easy to set aside the argument. Fëanaro smiled softly and nodded,

“We will be here meldanya.” Fëanaro reassured her as he continued to rub Vanifinwë’s back who was starting to snore. With that Nerdanel made her way to the washroom leaving behind father, daughter and the argument. 

* * *

Tags: @saviorsong @lilmelily @dicksoutformtl @fandomhoe101 @celebrimbor-telperinquar @red-riding @miriel-estelwen @ta-ka-shi-ma @nerdysimpy @thegirlwithoutaname87 @anunexpectedsideblog @spidergirla5 @eunoiaastralwings @eternalabysss @noldorinpainter

#Feanor #Feanaro #Curufinwe #Nerdanel #Vanifinwe #Eluneth #Anamartinde #Failendis #theelvenhaven #tolkien #jrr tolkien #the silm #the silmarillion #silm #silmarillion #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #one shot #one shots #headcanon #headcanons #tolkien oc #tolkien original character #original character #silm oc #silmarillion oc

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Finwe with PTSD from endorë tho? Finwe headcanon here we go-

Finwe and all the others from Endorë (no I’m not spelling culivian and u cant make me) having trauma from being in a Life or Death situation for Years.

But once they get to Valinor, it's all okay now that they’re safe, right?

Wrong.

The valar tells them You Gained These Scars, Now Live With Them.

And they do.

How would any of the elves know better? After scurrying around in the dark like rats under Melkor’s boots, were they really in a place to even question the valar to that extent? Would they even feel safe to ask the valar if maybe things could be better? When your in Survival Mode, you don’t think about these things, and especially don’t ask them of your saviors, however incompetent their methods may seem. You don’t ask. They didn’t ask. They, realistically, couldn’t ask.

So now there are traumatized elves, now what?

Life, and continuing as if Endorë never happened, or make it into a bedtime story with blunted edges and blurred character disappearances. Make the trauma a story, a history, a painting, something that’s over and meaningless now as anything beyond a story.

Then things happen, Feanor is born, and Finwe is Falling Apart until he shoves Stuff underneath a mental carpet, to the detriment of his future family members yet to be born.

More things happen; The Noldor leave. The Noldor die.

Then they live.

They’re coming out of Mandos, healed and regretful and still scarred in their new bodies but they’re alive.

Except; When Finwe comes out, having “healed” enough to pass the door and having broken both his marriage bonds, he is seen in a new light.

Suddenly, their dad, their grandfather, their great-granddad who always seemed so happy during the years of the trees-

He is terribly, horrifically familiar.

The Taken; who met Sauron face to face while bound, can see a familiar hesitance to break the peace, to make any move that would anger the waters and make things so very loud (Finwe smiles at them, and says he has never liked his family fighting, that’s all.) (Maedhros will wonder why he never noticed that grandfather never went swimming with them, or to the beach itself. He thinks he knows why. He doesn’t want to know. He knows anyway).

The Fighters and Hunters; who thinned out Morgoth’s beasts and fought Sauron face to face, can see a familiar paranoia. Finwe is always checking for exits, his eyes calm and his body tense, ready to fight or flee. Finwe identifies the sharp objects in the room immediately, hidden as just “checking out the decor”. (Celegorm, for maybe the first time, wonders what the beasts in Endorë were really like during Finwë’s time, worse or better than orcs. He’ll wonder how smoothed out his grandfather’s stories were when he told them to his young, safe grandchildren.) (Fingon thinks of fighting in the dark, with no light besides the stars and no fire as to not attract more beasts. He thinks of waking up to a new, dangerous world with Nothing. He thinks he would’ve become something terrible to survive it.) (Neither ask their grandfather anything. Celegorm isn’t ready to Know. Fingon isn’t ready to See).

The Survivors; They look at the grandfather who always seemed so old and wise and think Oh, because that’s not wisdom gained in peace, that's wisdom gained after war. (Galadriel wants to help, but how could she even speak of it to him? No, she will linger, and wait). (Maglor wouldn’t know what to say, he’s barely healed himself, he can’t imagine living like this for thousands of years with family none the wiser. He doesn’t think he could help his grandfather) (They both could; Neither will speak).

It’s a fun concept to think maybe Finwë isn’t okay, has never been okay, and can’t be okay until his family faces themselves first.

#tag.words #finwe #silm headcanon #long post

[notreallystars]

I've been thinking about Gil-Galad's parentage off the back of this excellent compilation of theories and I've reached a conclusion that surprises me. Gil-Galad son of Fingon could make sense. Not to everyone, but certainly to me.

There are things royalty tends to be pragmatic about. Marriage and succession are often high on that list. Kings want heirs. They really want heirs. Some of this is selfish, but some of it is not because it is really about stability.

Fingon becomes king, and he really shouldn't have. There had been one mad uncle, seven half-cousins, and his father before him in the line of succession. Feanor burned, Maedhros had abdicated and passed over all of his brothers, and Fingon's father has just thrown his life away in single combat with Morgoth. The crown should never have reached him.

Fingon is, presumably, grieving for his father. He hasn't seen his remaining siblings for nearly four centuries, and may not know that one of them isn't remaining any more or that she had a son. He considers at the people who could be crowned in the event of his death and sees... what?

Turgon is gone, no one knows where. Even if we assume that a queen would have been considered equivalent to a king in the canon (and I don't) Aredhel has gone with him and Fingon probably doesn't know about either her death or her son.

Finrod is still alive. This helps. Angrod is dead. Aegnor is dead. Galadriel is alive but she has married a Sinda who would presumably be king were she queen, and there are probably some among the Noldor who would not be content to be ruled by Thingol's kin. Orodreth is alive, and his daughter - but again, should we assume that a queen would have been considered?

So Fingon considers the people who could be made king in the event of his death

A brother no one can find

A cousin who spends more time with the Secondborn with every year that passes and who, when Fingon becomes king, has just made an oath of his very own (I don't think Fingon would think very highly of oaths, all things considered)

A Sinda prince who married another of his cousins

A second cousin

Presuming people continue not finding Turgon, and there is no good reason then for him to presume otherwise, there is no one of his house to inherit. This kind of thing often matters to royalty. Finrod is a good leader but would not want to focus on leading only the Noldor, and he has just made his own oath to Barahir which I think would cause Fingon concern. There would likely be political difficulty about Galadriel and Celeborn ruling. Orodreth would probably be fine.

Given the wider context, however, (Fingon had once had two uncles, his father, seven half-cousins, a second half-cousin {half-second cousin?}, two brothers, a sister, four cousins, and a second cousin of Finwe's house who could have ruled Finwe's people. Now, of all that family, he can come up with one second cousin about whom he has no reservations) I don't think he would have found that reassuring.

And so Fingon does what kings do when they see that the future stretching out beyond them is not stable, not assured. He thinks I must have an heir. Frankly I think this could be managed by secretly adopting a child whose parents had a sufficiently Finwe-esque appearance, but that isn't the version of events I'm going through.

He finds someone willing to bear his child. I even think this could be compatible with Russingon ('I don't like it any more than you do, but it has to be done, Finno') because, again, there are things royalty tends to be pragmatic about.

The child is born, the child is sent away because Fingon has learnt that High Kings of the Noldor are not safe people to know. He sends letters with him. He writes to Finrod, to Cirdan, to everyone he can think to trust that he has sent his son away for his own safety, letting them know where he could be found. A letter goes with Ereinion, not to be read until he is deemed ready, explaining that he is the son of the High King, that he is being kept safe.

Ereinion is too well-hidden. Fingon falls, and no one can find this supposed son. Among those who were told of him are some who consider that he was simply a ruse and had never, in fact, existed.

Nearly forty years after Fingon's death an elf appears. He prefers Nandorin to Sindarin, and speaks little Quenya. He has an old letter with him from a father he has never met, and a striking resemblance to Fingon.

...I had thought I was going to be writing about Gil-Galad, but a lot of this turned out to be about Fingon. There's a surprise.

#i just hope i haven't written fingon when i meant finrod or vice versa #that would make things difficult #i did check #but there's always stuff to miss #silmarillion #gil-galad #fingon

[welcomingdisaster]

Angry violent headcanon for Fingon or Turgon

-@outofangband

ooo @outofangband thank you for the ask! this is very fun!!

Fingon:

Jack of all trades with weapons! Of course there's his trademark bow and arrows, but I think he's relatively skilled with basically every weapon commonly used by first age elves. Solid 8/10 with swords, daggers, lances, etc.

To add on to the previous point: mostly self-taught through experience, rather than formal training (of the kind Feanor would have made sure his sons got, for instance). Applies hunting skills to combat.

MESSY fighter. Fights dirty, takes absolutely every advantage he might. If you fight Fingon and he can hit you in the balls, he's hitting you in the balls.

I think he's got a very expressive face in general and it's extra expressive in combat. He shoots an arrow and you can read the brief moment of "you better not miss, motherfucker" on his face very clearly.

The kind of person to taunt his enemies a lot in combat. I actually think he's pretty bad at coming up with insults off the cuff and spends some time workshopping them battle ("Turno what if I call the orcs yellow-bellied worms--" "Can you please be normal for two minutes instead")

Kept the dagger he used to cut off Maedhros's hand. After that whole incident it was a very dull dagger (blunted both by him trying to use it to sever the chain and by hitting bone). Had some vague notion that he would one day turn this dagger against the the dark lord and make him pay for that sorrow. Knew deep down he would never get the chance.

Generally tends to externalize his anger. Goes out and tries to find orcs/creatures of the dark lord to fight at every opportunity (part of the reason he's continually known as 'the Valiant' and well-liked). If you insult his dad in front of him he's punching you in the face. Generally not one of the classic Nolofinwean iciness. You can TELL when he's pissed.

Anger is red-hot but doesn't last very long. Once he's cleared the air he usually considers grudges long past. Quick to anger but equally quick to forgive.

Turgon:

Giant two handed sword boy! The kind of sword that, were it found by archeologists a few thousand years in the future, would be considered impractical for anyone to actually have wielded. This man was like 7'10 and his reach was enormous. In battle he mowed down orcs before they come close enough to try anything. Even in his final moments none could get near him; he died only when his tower fell.

Stone cold. You cannot read his mood at all. House motto repress, compartmentalize, ignore. When he's angry his voice does not tend to get louder; instead he gets very cold and quiet.

Holds grudges forever.

The one family member that is not very fond of hunting. He finds the sport kind of mean; elves easily track and kill most prey animals, and he pities them. This does not stop him from eating meat, but he takes little satisfaction besting an opponent so far below him, and prefers to leave hunting to other people. Left to his own devices (which he does not tend to be, being a prince and having most of his meals made for him) he is largely vegetarian.

#lena speaks #outofangband #i hope these were what you wanted i'm realizing i talked more about combat than anything else #fingon #turgon

[aowyn]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @valiantnomore <3 <3 <3 thank you for the tag! :D i havent done one of these in so long!

Three ships: qifrey/therapy <3 jkjk 

miyuki kazuya/sawamura eijun (crossfire permanently changed my brain chemistry)

mei changsu/xiao jingyan (i havent actively sought out nif content in like a year but every once in a while i think about either of these two for like a second too long and it takes me out. i have so many FEELINGS)

Last song: i did this ask game while listening to the album 千分の一夜物語 スターライト by amazarashi so take your pick XD i will say it was 空っぽの空に潰される. i really like the chorus of the song because it has a nice rhythm in japanese which is 

楽しけりゃ笑えばいいんだろ

tanoshikerya waraeba iindaro

when something’s fun, you laugh, right?

悲しい時は泣いたらいいんだろ

kanashii toki ha naitara iindaro

when you’re sad, you should cry, right?

虚しい時はどうすりゃいいの？

munashii toki ha dou surya ii no?

when i’m empty, what am i supposed to do?

教えて 教えて

oshiete, oshiete

tell me, tell me

Last movie: the new ant man movie! (i saw it with @maebird-melody and another friend :D) i actually had no idea there was even a new ant man movie until like an hour before we went to see it because i dont know anything about marvel

Currently reading: im in the middle of rereading Nine Quarters of Jerusalem by Matthew Teller! i think it’s a really interesting look at the old city of jerusalem through stories of people, especially palestinians and ethnic and religious minorities, who call it home. it does a great job of giving the reader a picture of a living, breathing city rather than the different kinds of ideas of the past and the future people project upon the city without having lived there. also it rips into the british empire so big plus for that

Currently watching: i am super duper bad at watching stuff like so bad so i have no idea actually. i am relistening to the adventure zone balance arc if that counts!

Currently consuming: i bought a sencha tea in japan last month that i really like! i am trying not to consume it too quickly because i dont want to run out but it’s so hard XD

also i am going through spray paint like there’s no tomorrow bc i have two weeks to finish my thanatos cosplay and the com crunch is so frickin real

Currently craving: the things i would do for in n out burger

i tag @morluin @andreth-with-a-sword @shineoftherainbow @maebird-melody @crazychopstick @morifiinwe @aredhels @feanor @dragqueenlestat (and anyone else who wants to do it! consider yourself tagged! <3)

#thank you for tagging me!! <3 #this was a lot of fun :D #said el #things im in

[crownlessliestheking]

Hello👋. Would love to hear anything about your process behind 'hell is empty and we are here'. I thought it was very cleverly-written (like others of your fics) and loved the characterisations!

Hi!! Thank you so much- that one is honestly really interesting because I took a little bit of a turn, stylistically, to what I'd been doing before. I would say that some of clotho's stuff definitely had an influence on that; it's less lofty and high fantasy, and a little more wittier, but it really suited what I was going for? I think it's also qite influenced by arrogantemu's And What Happened After, where like. Feanor and Fingolfin aren't the stars by any means, but the concept of Feanor returning from Mandos with some things still fresh in his mind, while Fingolfin has been re-embodied for quite some time and is in fact a bit well-adjusted now providing a lot of contrast. That was kind of the key thing I wanted to explore, the other was Fingolfin's characterization: Which is that I thought he's kind of a bitch but in the most complimentary way; he has been through it all and come out on the other end, and he's doing alright. I had a lot of fun writing his dialogue, letting him have his quick wit, letting him have had a lot of time to come to terms with what happened and transform that into a bit of dark humor that like, three people appreciate at most. Feanor is a bit different as a person, post-Mandos, sure, but Fingolfin is also very far from the guy he used to be when he was at odds with his older brother; I think the tension of regression when being around someone from your past (even if you'd like them to be part of your future) is a really interesting thing to have lurking in the background, especially with these two. It's the push and pull between who he is now, who should know better, and who he was then, and with Fingolfin and Feanor it's just so crunchy. I also really liked dropping hints of the background relationships Fingolfin has, even if the story is centered around him and Feanor, it's not...just about them. It's never been just about them, and Fingolfin knows that, but the fic is also him deciding that it can be, just this once.

#my fics #feanolo #a bit #ask game

[tolkien-feels]

Would you do Aredhel, Nerdanel, Amrod, Celegorm, Maglor, Amras Beren, Luthien, Namo, Sauron, Morgoth, Melian, Thingol, Daeron, and Mim for the ask game please? (I apologize for the laundry list; I'm just really curious about what you think about them!) (I'm not intending for them to be done all at once!)

That is quite a list. Okay, let's try to do this, but I apologize for the length. I've tried my best to be brief but if you follow me you know I don't know how to shut up. You can watch in real time how I manage to be concise for a little bit and then gradually derange into rambling

Already done: Ambarussa and Luthien

Aredhel

Sexuality Headcanon: Straight, allo, just very vanilla

Gender Headcanon: She's cis in both identity and presentation, but aggressively anti restrictive gender roles

A ship I have with said character: Lowkey Eol in a messed up way (exactly in what way they're messed up changes depending on my mood), but I'm generally uninterested in shipping Aredhel

A BROTP I have with said character: *gestures broadly at the Finwean family tree* All my shipping interest with this character went into family brotps I think! I'll just highlight a somewhat unusual relationship I'm really interested in: Curufin. Oh, and Idril.

A NOTP I have with said character: In terms of romantic, none. In terms of friendship - Aredhel & Galadriel. I have complex thoughts about their relationship but I actively dislike them as besties.

A random headcanon: I've spoken a little about this before, but you know the relationship Celegorm has with Orome? I headcanon Aredhel has something similar with Nessa

General Opinion over said character: I have no idea why I don't talk about her more often, because I find her super interesting. I'm very particular about fanon takes on her, but I'm very much into canon!Aredhel

Nerdanel

Sexuality Headcanon: I don't actually vibe with the Kinsey scale, but for the sake of simplicity: she's like a 1. I don't think she would label herself as anything more detailed than queer, though

Gender Headcanon: It's complicated. Other people might assume she's gnc, but she's cis. She's just... not very good at performing Valinorean gender, and generally interested in trying very hard to. But she very much identifies as female

A ship I have with said character: FEANOR!!! And that's it. But that's one of my favorite otps across all my fandoms

A BROTP I have with said character: ...also Feanor. Her children as well. MAHTAN. Aule. My completely made up post-Darkening friendship between Nerdanel and Manwe

A NOTP I have with said character: Anaire and/or Earwen. I'm not a huge fan of them as friends (I find it more interesting if they are not) and I'm definitely not into them as romantic ship(s)

A random headcanon: She has a pad and charcoal with her pretty much at all times and is semi-constantly taking down quick sketches of things that interest her. They're studies for future sculptures, but she favors abstract sculptures so very few people can see the relationship between sketches and final products

General Opinion over said character: Love of my life. Blorbo. I once worked myself up to tears just by thinking about her tragedy. Would kill and die for her.

Celegorm

Sexuality Headcanon: Pan but also poly (in the sense of polyamory), which is a major taboo in Valinor and messes him up quite a bit.

Gender Headcanon: I'm a huge fan of transmasc Celegorm tbh, I have a whole post about it

A ship I have with said character: None? Not in particular. I deeply enjoy the idea of Celegorm, in one of his creepiest moments, deciding if he ever can become Not Poly, it will be by loving Luthien, the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, who comes with a crown. But that's not a ship, that's a plot point headcanon, I wouldn't even want this plot point to last long.

A BROTP I have with said character: Other than his family? Orome, I guess. I will say, though, that I enjoy Celegorm getting along with his cousins more than other Feanorians do

A NOTP I have with said character: Aredhel. I like him seeing her as a little sister so much I genuinely forget this is a popular ship until I see it

A random headcanon: Adores children. Ever since childhood, he just loves everyone who's younger than him. And yes, he's fun and has unusual ideas about safety, but he's actually extremely protective and will never put a child in actual danger. He gives them the illusion of danger without ever actually endangering them

General Opinion over said character: I mean, my blog is like 90% Feanorians at some points, do you even have to ask? I love him. My own son, I love him

Maglor

Sexuality Headcanon: I have two answers for this. The actual headcanon is bi. The funny headcanon is that he's aroace but assumes he's pan because "equal amounts of attraction equals pan, right?" when the amount of attraction is actually zero. The reason why this is funny is because I always headcanon Maedhros as aroace, and I deeply enjoy the idea of the two of them having the same identity but having no clue of it until like, halfway through adulthood

Gender Headcanon: Very much cismale

A ship I have with said character: Daeron, but in a very specific way, and it's a ship I enjoy a lot, but not quite an otp

A BROTP I have with said character: As with all Finweans, his whole family. I have to mention kidnap fam, but I only enjoy it if it's messed up. Also - Daeron again

A NOTP I have with said character: His semi-canonical spouse. I never remember they exist and when I do, I just say "No, thanks."

A random headcanon: Absolutely deadly on the battlefield. He doesn't enjoy violence, but being ruthless won't keep him up at night. And mercy killings are kind of his thing.

General Opinion over said character: Same as Celegorm - my own son. But I feel like almost all the headcanons I have about Maglor are almost the opposite of the most popular fanons

Beren

Sexuality Headcanon: ...PTSD. No, just kidding. But kind of not. I headcanon Beren simply hasn't had the opportunity to even meet people he could conceivably be attracted to. I headcanon him as bi, but does he know that? Nope. As far as he's concerned, he's stayingalivesexual at first and then Luthiensexual later

Gender Headcanon: Cis, but after his first death, he generally stops caring and is curious enough about Luthien's weird, half-Maia gender to try out some minor gender presentation things. But it does nothing for him, really, he's just curious and after trying it once he pretty much loses interest. A case could be made for some flavor of enby.

A ship I have with said character: Luthien, of course. Daeron/Beren is a crackship that I take more seriously every time I joke about it and one of these days I'll end up unironically getting into it and crying over the tragedy of it all

A BROTP I have with said character: Barahir's outlaws as a group. Finrod and his elves, too. Thingol and Melian (trust me, I can make it work.) And I have many thoughts about him and Dior. As always, I gravitate around family groups. Oh, and I have an entire au in my head where he basically adopts Turin, and I love it

A NOTP I have with said character: Interestingly, Finrod. They have a lot of elements that usually would make them otp material for me, but somehow I can't get into it

A random headcanon: Could give some of the best archers in Tolkien a run for their money

General Opinion over said character: From my hyperspecific ramblings you can probably guess I'm always thinking about him. I love him both for who he is and for how he parallels ten thousand characters. Parallels make brain go brr

Namo

Sexuality Headcanon: Vala. I headcanon no Vala can feel attraction, romantic or sexual. They experience attraction rather in the way their roles in the Song are structured, and I can't wrap my mind around it

Gender Headcanon: Similar to the above. I headcanon the Valar only really started doing gender based on their understanding of how the Children of Iluvatar would be like, and they're all outside of the gender spectrum we could understand. No, they aren't agender, either. Nor xenogender. They're Something Else.

A ship I have with said character: Again, none. Vaire, I suppose, but that falls between ship and brotp

A BROTP I have with said character: See above on Vaire. Other relationships I enjoy are Lorien and Nienna, as well as Manwe

A NOTP I have with said character: Um... none? Nothing I can think of

A random headcanon: He's gentler with the dead than with the living. Not because he's awkward or anything. He's just conscious of the power he has over the dead and is more careful not to misuse it, while the living are free real estate to treat in any way he sees fit depending on the person

General Opinion over said character: I love the Valar in general, although they break my brain. Mandos is one of the ones I think the least often about, but whenever I do think about him I go "Oh he's fun, I should think about him more often!"

Sauron

Sexuality Headcanon: See Namo. I think Maiar can feel attraction, though, it's just extremely rare, and tends to be for other Maiar. I headcanon Sauron is one of those who has never felt any kind of non-Song-related attraction towards anyone, really. But he's keenly aware of how to be attractive and enjoys it, but from a power rush standpoint only

Gender Headcanon: See Namo again. But I think Sauron finds gender annoyingly messy (what do you mean each culture sees it differently? That's inefficient. No.) and struggles to commit to it in the way most other other Ainur do. Left to his own devices he nopes out of gender; when he's among people (eg Eregion, or Numenor) he performs gender perfectly while finding the whole thing absurd. He defaults to male gender exclusively because of the societal benefits; he would default to female in a matriarchal society, probably.

A ship I have with said character: None

A BROTP I have with said character: Um... Also none? I deeply enjoy the idea of Morgoth and Sauron being a twisted version of Manwe and Eonwe (which is a brotp I have) but it's not a brotp as much as a trainwreck dynamic. I also enjoy Sauron and Celebrimbor having messed up dynamics, but again, trainwreck. Aule and Sauron can be fun but I'm picky.

A NOTP I have with said character: I'm not at all into Sauron being actively in love with someone, so. All of them.

A random headcanon: Ironically for a crafter, he sort of. sucks. at creating realistic fanar for himself. He always ends up in uncanny valley territory due to compulsively wanting to have no flaws - he looks computer-generated, basically. He was better at this when the world was young, but the more he corrupts himself, the worst he becomes at it (while he still can change his fana, anyway)

General Opinion over said character: I wouldn't say I don't like Sauron, but I'm fairly uninterested in straight up villains, while being uninterested in making Sauron anything but the embodiment of a specific kind of evil (though that depends on when in the timeline we're talking about), so I tend not to give him too much thought. He's fun to play with, though, philosophically speaking

Morgoth

Sexuality Headcanon: Again. Vala. Does not apply.

Gender Headcanon: Vala. Does not apply. But he's a huge fan of how gender opens the door for comprehensive oppression in new and fresh ways. Up there with jewelry in the list of best things the elves came up with.

A ship I have with said character: Oh, none. I can crackship him and Gothmog exclusively because I think it'd be funny to ship an Angband ship that isn't Angbang, but that's just to laugh about, I wouldn't be interested in actually exploring it

A BROTP I have with said character: Like I said, Sauron, in a twisting of a Vala-Maia relationship. MANWE MANWE MANWE MANWE. Nienna. Recently, Indis. Hate-brotp with too many characters to count - I love people pissing Morgoth off

A NOTP I have with said character: None? All? I'm unlikely to either enjoy a Morgoth ship or hate it enough to run away

A random headcanon: He genuinely cannot feel love anymore, but he badly wants Manwe under his command because their connection is part of the fabric of the universe, and servitude is the only way Morgoth can conceptualize wanting Manwe near now he can't understand brotherhood anymore (actually I should make a post about this, I have many thoughts on this)

General Opinion over said character: Pretty much exactly the same opinion as what I said about Sauron, but I'll add Book of Lost Tales Melko entertains me a lot

Melian

Sexuality Headcanon: One of the rare Maiar who feels attraction, and the Ainur judge her for directing it at an elf. Having said that, Thingol is an anomaly, and she is attracted to no other being in the world, although she intellectually understands the concept of attraction better than most Ainur

Gender Headcanon: Maia. Does not apply, really, but she delights in something similar to elven womanhood. She would probably consider herself trans, though, because she's chasing a gender euphoria that she does not get with whatever is going on with the Ainur concept of gender

A ship I have with said character: Thingol. That's literally it.

A BROTP I have with said character: Essentially anyone who's ever stepped in Doriath, I kid you not. The instant someone steps in Doriath I start inventing a relationship they could have with Melian. Also, Yavanna and Orome

A NOTP I have with said character: Um... none? ...actually. Thingol/Melian done wrong. I nope out of a lot of portrayals of them as much as I get into portrayals of them I enjoy.

A random headcanon: Her voice is rather deep and quiet and creepily melodic. It's the clearest giveaway she's not actually an elf

General Opinion over said character: I have always enjoyed Melian, but the older I get, the more fond I become of her tbh. Not sure why but it's been a clear tendency for the past decade of my life

Thingol

Sexuality Headcanon: Uh... queer. Some flavor of. But I can't pin it down and I think he definitely wouldn't.

Gender Headcanon: Manflux, but on an elvish scale of time. He can occasionally spend a mortal lifetime without any changes to how he feels about his gender, for example

A ship I have with said character: Melian. Other than that, Finwe (sometimes including Miriel as an OT3, but I tend to headcanon Thingol/Miriel as qp)

A BROTP I have with said character: Same as Melian - everybody who's ever been in Doriath. Also his family (Thingol and Elwe in particular break my heart), and Finwe and Ingwe

A NOTP I have with said character: Same as Melian: Thingol/Melian done wrong. I don't know, I feel like there are some ships I'd consider notps, but none is coming to mind

A random headcanon: Local tall elf uses disturbing height to perfect the art of forehead kisses. No, really. Not many people get them but it's pretty unforgettable if you can manage to get one. (This goes hand-in-hand with my headcanon forehead kisses were the go-to way to wish someone well in Cuivienen, and that tradition stuck in most of Beleriand, though not in Aman.)

General Opinion over said character: I really like him! I mean, very flawed character who is doing his best but that's really inadequate for the situations he finds himself in? That's My Type. I can also be very protective of him because I think he has enough flaws without people bad-faith interpretations of every single thing he does. (But also he's a mess, don't make him perfect either. I'm picky.)

Daeron

Sexuality Headcanon: Demi

Gender Headcanon: You know what? This is the first time I'm thinking about Daeron's gender. I have no idea. Masc-presenting, I think, but there's something... unusual about how I picture his gender? Like, I would describe his gender as "boy" very comfortably, but "man" feels off, but I don't headcanon him as particularly childish, so I don't know. Something.

A ship I have with said character: When it's done in the particular way I like, Luthien. As I've mentioned, I might end up going for Daeron/Beren too. I've mentioned Daeron/Maglor, too. And I'm not sure whether to go on ship or on brotp but I have a friend who is trying to sell me on qp Beleg/Daeron and they're being successful

A BROTP I have with said character: LUTHIEN LUTHIEN LUTHIEN. Thingol and Melian. Occasionally, I get in a mood to explore Beleg and Mablung too. Oh, Maglor, too, in a specific way.

A NOTP I have with said character: None?

A random headcanon: There is not a person Daeron has ever met he cannot make laugh or at least smile given enough time

General Opinion over said character: I'M A PROUD MEMBER OF THE DAERON DEFENSE SQUAD. I'm just that meme of the samurai holding the cat, you know the one? I love him so much and people are so mean to him. Also, I draw a lot of my characterization for him by comparing the evolution of other Leithian characters through drafts, and considering how Daeron might have evolved if Tolkien gave him as much attention as I wish he had - and that's just intellectually fun

Mim

Are you part of the rock opera discord?

Sexuality & Gender Headcanon: Lumping these together because I'm so torn. I have headcanons about how dwarrow genders work but they're very... Durin line-centric. I'm not sure how much they'd apply to Mim's own culture, nor how he would relate to genders outside of his own culture. So um... I guess further worldbuilding is required for me to be able to answer this.

A ship I have with said character: SIGH. I hate my life, but. Mim/Finrod. Listen. It has potential. It has! The tragedy of it al!!!!! (Let this be a lesson that if you crackship something for long enough you'll end up really shipping it.) I could also, I think, ship Mim/Beleg but exclusively in the context of a mutually destructive ship where Mim is just taking out his Finrod issues on somebody else and Beleg..... no idea, I haven't thought that far. The ship has just now occurred to me, don't ask difficult questions.

A BROTP I have with said character: I very much enjoy his relationship with Turin and the rest of his crew, but it's very important that not a single person under Mim's roof behaves in a hinged way, so jot that down. (I also wish I spent more time thinking about his relationship with his sons, but I haven't really done that yet.)

A NOTP I have with said character: None. Listen, after Mim/Finrod I think it's been conclusively proved I will ship Mim with anyone given enough incentive

A random headcanon: He enjoys epic poetry/music as defined by his people. I feel very strongly about it. It's important to him, and the loss of the songs he's never learned grieves him.

General Opinion over said character: I've been looking forward to meeting him in my CoH re-read! I find him very tragic, and he always reminds me Norse mythology, which I used to love as a child. Also, I have to read his Complaint one of these days, if I can find a re-translation and the right mood to read it

#ask game

[arrivisting]

2022 fanfic meme

okay, @undercat-overdog​ tagged me for this, three weeks ago, so naturally I’m showing up at the end of january being like, this is the time for a fanfic wrapped. absolutely.

Word count for the year:  I wrote much more than I posted. Also I have a couple of ao3s! If I only count posted fic in 2022: 60,035. that’s actually a lot more than I would have guessed.

Number of stories posted to Ao3: 10. though I feel like I wrote nothing in 2022! 5 to vauquelin (elftrash), 4 to arriviste, 1 to [redacted]

Pairings written for:

on arriviste: all gen, though one was elrond/celebrian, elros/wife, another technically nerdanel/feanor, another aragorn/arwen.

on vauquelin (elftrash), one was finrod/edrahil, one caranthir/haleth, one fingon/maedhros, two gen (one of them technically celeborn/galadriel).

a big year for gen and canon het. hm! unfortunately I have a lot of truly demented m/m in the pipeline.

Fandoms I wrote for:  everything silm/lotr except [redacted]

Most popular story: a wild surmise (gen, silm. elrond’s ship accidentally finds valinor of the years of the trees rather than valinor of the end of the third age). the unfinishedness of this one haunts me. people were so nice!

Fic I spent the most time on: the fire’s toll (gen, silm. nerdanel, amrod. past nerdanel/feanor) I wrote half of this in 2021 so it feels like cheating to put it in the 2022 list, but honestly: it’s so easy to write the first half of a story. I never have trouble getting started. writing the second half was agony - everything from

They wed in the way Elves had, once, at Cuiviénen: quite alone, out in the wild, with no one to witness but themselves. They had made promises to each other, and to Ilúvatar. They had lain down together under the wheeling stars and neither of them had been capable, then, of imagining a future in which they thought each other less brilliant, less fascinating, less perfect; in which they loved each other less, or in which they parted forever.

I always wonder if people can tell where the join is! I feel like when I stop dead on a story for ages (months... years) it’s horribly obvious exactly where I picked it up again, but I never notice these things myself as a reader. there’s a 3 year pause in the fic I just posted last night. I feel like it’s glaring, but hopefully not.

Fic I spent the least time on: there are a few very slight ficlets on vauquelin. after that, the least time I spent on anything was conversely the longest thing I wrote in 2022, easily sever what never was one (caranthir/haleth, 17k). was written in a hot panic/writing fugue in three days. I was literally writing it up until a minute before posting (challenge deadline). I wrote it in an uber. I wrote it at dinner with friends. I wrote 10k of it in one day.

did I have only three days to write it? no. I had months. I didn’t use them wisely.

Favorite thing I wrote: a wild surmise. I would like it even better if perhaps I had had even one iota of patience and not posted the first chapter and then dipped, but that first chapter was no effort at all. banged it out in an afternoon. it just walked into my head. I will spend tortured months finishing the other two.

I also like next year’s words a lot (gen; elrond/celebrian, elros/wife) because it was a challenge to remix a perfect story and to do it any kind of justice but I think I landed the plane? I’m not much use at tolkien’s languages so I was like D: D: D:

Story I’m most proud of: the fire’s toll. getting it off the wip list after a year+ of being totally stuck was so satisfying. I’m not happy with the balance of it, but I am so happy I finished it.

Funniest: I don’t think I’m very good at humour. I didn’t write anything that light in 2022! dawn song was meant to be terribly light and sweet (finrod/edrahil, the adoption of gildor into the house of finarfin) and I think it is, but it’s not puns puns puns.

Kinkiest: [redacted]

Saddest: hm. this is harder to answer than the funniest one. I usually don’t think what I’ve written is that sad but then people are sometimes like, wow, I was stabbed here. probably the fire’s toll.

Least Popular: a bit of ivory (gen, findis, lalwen).

Most Cringe-Worthy: [redacted]. though everything I write I cringe about. then years later I will reread it and be like ‘this is so good! what a shame I can’t write like that any more.’

Favorite Opening Line(s):

“It’s unbearable,” Curufin said conversationally.

Maedhros glanced at him. There had been no conversation before that remark. Curufin had simply come to stand beside him, leaning back with exaggerated casualness against the same window-frame that Maedhros had selected, sighed, and thus begun.

“The way you stare,” he elaborated. “You look at him like you’re starving and he’s dinner. You look at him like a Man seeing one of the Eldar for the first time. You look at him the way everyone in Tirion used to stare at the Silmarils whenever Father wore them--”

“That’s enough.”

“My point exactly!” said Curufin. “It’s become tediously clear that the staring isn’t ever going to stop. Father and Fingolfin fighting didn’t stop it, though loyalty alone should have been enough to quench it. Twelve years of exile only made it worse. It was too dark to see on the night we swore the Oath, but I would still wager Caranthir anything he wanted to stake that you were making eyes at Fingon across the square nonetheless. Well, Father’s dead. So’s Fingolfin, if you were holding back out of fear of him. Home’s gone, and we can’t go back. What could possibly be standing in your way now but want of courage?”

“My way to,” Maedhros began. Then he stopped, breathed in through his nose, and said, “I’m not in the mood to entertain you trying to be clever, Curufin. Go away, and try not to stab anyone as you move across the room.”  

“You want him,” said Curufin, ignoring him. “If you think you’re being subtle about it, let me assure you that you are not. You have never been subtle. Nor, for that matter, has he. Finrod used to say that it was painful to be in the same room as the two of you. He said sharing the very air felt indecent.”

“I think,” said Maedhros, “that you had better not mention our late cousin to me. Stop this vein of argument and tell me outright what it is you want. You are too much the son of our father to help me to the bed of Fingolfin's son without a better object than my happiness in mind.”

“Oh!” said Curufin. “You are determined to think the worst of me, after Nargothrond. I will not argue with you, though I am sorry that you think so little of me that you will not credit me with a sincere desire for your good.”

This isn’t really an opening line as much as an exchange, but it popped into my head almost full-blown and then I had to figure out a way to finish the ficlet/land the plane.

Favorite Closing Line(s): I didn’t really write any banger endings. I like to end on a knifepoint (to the gut!). I like the way the fire’s toll zooms out and the catalogue of nerdanel’s retrospective takes over.

Top Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

from 2022 fic? probably Dor Caranthir from easily sever what never was one. or the ruins of the Haladin steading. Sometimes a story is as much about the settings as the action.

Story I haven’t yet written, but intend to: something I haven’t written really at all yet? Finrod surviving the wolf (serious). Finrod’s very secret diaries spanning the years of the trees to his death (silly). truth serum fingon/maedhros slipped into himring to cause chaos by a thrall (serious).

New things I tried:

Me, 2005-2011: I only write RPF.

Me, 2011-2022: as god is my witness, I will never write RPF again.

Also Me, 2022: 🤡

Fic-writing goals for 2023: oh lord. I don’t want to set the bar too high.

finish a wild surmise.

finish & post the fic known only as ‘the bad fic’.

finish & post the next scion fic, alias ‘the finrod and gil-galad fic’, alias ‘this long abiding’.

write some goddamn porn.

finish and post at least one (1) of the ossified wips in the wip folder: outsider pov/’how like a winter’, or ‘legxit’, or, wow, I don’t even remember how many wips I have on life support

finish a stranger in my bed?

finish and post [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [readacted] [redacted]

[fuckingfinwions]

How do the Nolofinweans relate to the now-concubine and maybe-future-concubine Curufin and Celebrimbor?

Awkwardly.

Curufin spent the first week after Feanor’s death naked, blindfolded, and tied to Maedhros’s bed. Maedhros did a lot of breaking him in himself, but the coronation of a new king takes a lot of planning and meetings with council members and such. So the Nolofinweans got the chore of “switch out the plug in his ass for one that’s a different shape every hour so he doesn’t get used to it, I use him after lunch.” And given the degrading stuff Curufin has put them through, they’re willing if still not eager.

Once Curufin has been sufficiently trained he moves in with the other concubines. Nolo’s rooms are four small bedrooms around a central living room, which means with Turgon and Arehdel gone Curufin and Celebrimbor can move right in. This is for Maedhros’s convenience.

Nolo and Fingon are aware that none of this is Celebrimbor’s fault, but there’s nothing they can do about it. It’s Nolo rather Curufin who reassures him that everyone’s too terrified of the king to hurt him without permission. That would not have occurred to Curufin as a pleasant thought, but Nolo has raised three children under these circumstances.

When Celebrimbor is almost of age, Curuifn knocks on Nolo’s bedroom door. For parenting advice when your kid is about to get raped and you’re not going to save them.

#servant nolofinweans au #not archived yet #timeline branch: maedhros gets the concubines #in case your wondering why maglor wasn't involved in breaking curufin there's two reasons #first becuase Maglor isn't into raping people who resist and Maehdros isn't going to him to anyway #*isn't going to force him to anyway #second becuase if Maglor and Maedhros dp Curufin that's incest between M&M #their dicks are touching and everything #yes I'm aware that's a ridiculous line to draw #but the servant au Feanorians still have an incest tabboo against fucking their siblings or dad #Feanor made it clear that the concubines Don't Count as related though #so it's not incest if Maedhros or Maglor fucks Curufin solo now that he's a concubine

[ibrithir-was-here]

The Tale of Tanwen Part 3

Hello! Finally back to Tanwen after taking a detour into the Mai Squared stuff, but today we’re finally gonna catch up to our poorly reincarnated Heroine, who, when we last left off, had been swayed by Feanor’s influence/regained memories to renew the Oath to reclaim the Silmarils...

Thankfully, (depending on the point of view) it proves much harder for a young elleth not even come into full maturity, to gain hold of the most precious object in the Blessed Lands, than it perhaps would have for Feanor himself, in full possession of his cunning and ability. And despite her plans and plots, Tanwen does not suceed in regaining the last known Silmaril from the brow of her other great-grandfather. And now, the suspicions of her parents that something is not well with their child has been confirmed...

As have the suspicions of the Valar. Many souls have passed thru Mandos’s Halls, and as wise and great as he is, he is not all-seeing, nor all-present. Long had he allowed the spirit of Feanor to dwell apart, locked in his own misery and anger, refusing all attempts to aid him in moving on from his own inner rage. But now, looking into the eyes of this child, wracked from within with a fury far older and deeper then one so young to the world ought to have, the Judge of the Dead questions for the first time if leaving the Spirit of Fire to his own devices for so long was wise. Something has gone amiss, and as Mandos and Vaire return to the Halls in search of Feanor, his youngest descendent is left in the care of Namo.

For the Lord of Dreams knows that much healing can be found in sleep, as well as much knowledge gained from thoughts freed to wander in dreams. If there is an answer to be found for the young elleth’s sudden state of imbalance, he is certain it can be found with the aid of the spells of sleep that are his to call upon. 

And in enchanted slumber, the spirit of Tanwen Faelach wakes to a world between worlds, a place of mist and shadow, a world that those bound in the Halls of Mandos know well.  For as Sleep is the Brother of Death, so one who is caught between the two might easily find themselves walking those shrouded halls, even more so for one for whom part of their soul should , be rights, be residing there still...

There is no sound at first, nor any sight to be seen nor touch to be felt. And the spirit that names it self Faelach trembles to be so suddenly alone, void of all companionship but themselves. There is no way to tell time in this border place, no way to tell if they have wandered in this mist for hours, or days, or simply stood in one place for an eternity, as the mist rolls around them. Finally, tears that do not truly exist come to eyes that are no longer truly there to shed them, and a cry for their father comes from a throat that can no longer make sound--

And that cry is answered.  In dreams, as in death, the eyes of the soul may look upon the face of one who would be utterly unknown to them in life and yet know them perfectly. And thus did the souls of Finwe and Faelach know eachother for what they were, though the soul of his son wore a different face, and the father of Tanwen Faelach sat beside her in the Gardens of Lorien, her still hand held in his. But for a moment, in the dream state in which they met, neither of these things mattered to two souls lost together in the mists between life and death.

And that’s part three! There’s gonna be two more parts to this in total I think, so keep your eye out! Im so, so crazy glad that you all have liked my art and stories so much and I hope I can continue to make stuff you’ll all enjoy!

#my art #the tale of tanwen #tanwen #finwe #feanor #the once and future feanor #namo #vaire #mandos #silmarils #mirdaneth #elladan #earendil #lorien #lotr #silmarillion #tolkien #my ocs #tolkien ocs #oh for those who might not recall from some of the other tanwen posts #Faelach is Tanwen's private Chosen Name #with an etymology thats basically the same as Feanor