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lilliths-httyd-blog · 1 year

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Summarising every single HTTYD movie, short and episode in roughly one sentence:

HTTYD 1:

ADHD incarnate befriends Death: The Dragon and with the power of friendship they OH GODS OH FUCK OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Legend of the Boneknapper:

Gobber likes to tell campfire stories

Book of Dragons:

DreamWorks attempts to write a reader POV fanfiction

Gift of the Night Fury:

Critical series lore in a Christmas special?? Yeah seems normal for this franchise

Riders of Berk:

1. Mildew tries to get a bunch of teenagers executed or some shit

2. Solidifying Gobber as a total madlad: The episode

3. Hot take: You can skip this episode, it's arguably the worst one in the franchise, but you WILL miss a penis joke so there's that going for it.

4. Toothless develops an Older Sibling complex over Beyblade: The Dragon™ and HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT???

5. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MILDEW?? I mean I knew you were an ass but I didn't expect THIS??

6. "The films aren't anything like the books!" UM, ACTUALLY- (aka the episode where Hiccup goes full-on Book!Hiccup mode and Alvin is nothing like his book counterpart but the rest of the outcasts are)

7. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"

8. Hiccup has body image issues

9. Mildew gets bitten in the ass (SATISFYING)

10. The Mary Sue: Part One

11. The Mary Sue: Part Two

12. Oh yeah Snotlout's dad is an abusive cuck who can go fuck himself I'm not even joking. Love Snotlout tho I gotta say.

13. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?! STRIKE ME DOWN, ZEUS!! YOU DON'T HAVE THE BA-"

14. Toothless has a mortal enemy apparently and it is fucked up

15. (Dagur fanboys start screaming in the distance)

16. Snotlout fixes his mistakes (they were very big mistakes)

17. VALKA??? VALKA MENTION??? HICCUP HAS A DRAGON PLUSHIE??? (silently weeping by the end of the episode)

18. Fishlegs and Snotlout piss off some helicopter parents who are also Invisible Acid Dragons™ (ohhhhhh no)

19. Are there... other Night Furies????

20. Lol no BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THERE IS-

Defenders of Berk:

1. Fight Club reference

2. That one time Meatlug became magnetic and almost died

3. Dagur is gay for Hiccup but like in a yandere way

4. Whoever designed the Screaming Death must have been on a particularly fucked up slice of magic mushroom because I've never seen something more in need of holy water than that dragon (my childhood favourite :D )

5. Snotlout's dad is a fucking asshole but I never thought he'd stoop that low

6. Behold: My second favourite dragon who canonically killed Astrid's uncle

7. They tried to train Terrible Terrors in this episode, guess how that went lmaooo

8. (grabs more holy water) IT'S BACK.

9. Hey remember Tiny Beyblade Dragon? Yeah now he's kinda sorta the size of a house. Meanwhile everything is on fire (twin's fault)

10. Behold: My favourite dragon's frozen carcass preserved in ice- I mean my favourite dragon is hibernating in ice- I mean OH SHIT OH FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH NO-

11. Dagur subjugates my favourite dragon and then karma bites him in the ass

12. Snotlout and Gustav are an anxiety/adhd wombo-combo

13. Ruffnut cuts her hair short to save the life of a really cute dragon and Dreamworks was too pussy to keep it like that for the rest of the season.

14. (darude sandstorm plays)

15. The dragons get high and try to kill each other

16. Toothless is on drugs (I'm not even joking, during the Toothless POV shots you can literally hear stoner music playing)

17. Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair

18. THORNADO NOOOOOOOOO T-T

19. ALVIN, DAGUR, SNOTLOUT AND THE SCREAMING DEATH. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER THAN IT ALREADY IS???

20. IT GOT BETTERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Dawn of the Dragon Racers:

The gang got new fits and invented a sport

Race to the Edge S1:

1. Oh shit, Dagur's out of prison, better go chase him down and OOOH, SHINY TELESCOPE THINGY?? (Hiccup is a magpie apparently)

2. Gothi once again proving herself to be an absolute madlad

3. Hiccup and the gang move out of home because telescopy thingy told them to. What could possibly go wrong? (GONE WRONG)

4. Welcome to our new home on Dragon's Edge! It's been years since we've been able to function effectively as a team, and Tuffnut's been smoking way too many hallucinogens lately OH FUCK HE WASN'T HALLUCINATING OH FUCK ME

5. Snotlout is gay for Fishlegs

6. NOT GUSTAV NOOOOOOOO

7. Basically what happens when you put me in charge of anything

8. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"

9. Fishlegs and Snotlout are gay

10. THE MARY SUE IS BACK AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH

11. WELL THAT PLOT TWIST CAME OUTTA NOWHERE

12. (darude sandstorm vocoded to running in the 90s plays)

13. they made girl dragon pink

Race to the Edge S2:

1. Astrid becomes that "SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE" guy basically

2. SCOTLAND FOREVER!!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (new villain alert and he is AWESOME)

3. MARY SUE IS WORKING FOR THE VILLAINS NOW???

4. Dreamworks introduces Dragon Werewolfism and does NOTHING with this concept after this episode?? What a ripoff!

5. Fuck Snotlout's dad so much

6. Hiccup punches Snotlout in the face and knocks him out which is no surprise considering he is God of Dragons

7. MARY SUE WAS SPYING ON THE VILLAINS ALL ALONG NOW???

8. Two people and a singular dragon try to fight off an entire armada

9. They succeed somehow

10. Oh hey it's a HTTYD 2 dragon (Free Willy parody? You couldn't have done anything more original?)

11. SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!!

12. Prepare to thirst in 3... 2... 1: (Viggo appears)

13. If you thought Dagur was homosexual, you aren't prepared for how gay Viggo gets

Race to the Edge S3:

1. Dagur did WHAT NOW???

2. Fuck Cavern Crashers so much but SNOTLOUT SNOUTLOUT OI OI OI!!!

3. Sword in the Stone parody?? Are all the Fishlegs episodes story parodies now??

4. Did... Did they try to portray Snotlout's dad as being in the right in this episode?? Ew fuck that.

5. Viggo almost caused Covid-19

6. Hiccup forgets that not everyone has ADHD and the dragons go completely fucking feral

7. This show loves to force romances, doesn't it?

8. I think these people took HTTYD/Pokemon crossover fics a bit too far

9. A musical episode which has a reason to exist. Sarah Z was right all along?

10. Favourite Fishlegs episode :)

11. DAGUR DID WHAT NOW???

12. My go-to introductory episode for non-fans. It's got everything. Including Viggo.

13. OKAY BUT THAT CLIFFHANGER WAS METAL

Race to the Edge S4:

1. OH THAT FINALE WAS METAL MALA IS JUST SO METAL I LOVE DEFENDERS OF THE WING

2. If you listen closely you can hear TJ Miller in absolute hysterics in the recording booth

3. At this point in time Viggo only values Hiccup as being worth 1000 gold coins

4. I love Snotlout so much... Spitelout can go suck a bag of rocks

5. Oh fuck yes Dagur's back

6. Viggo throws a hissy fit and kisses a man and Toothless is willing to die just so Hiccup doesn't have to die alone (sobbing)

7. Everyone is high in this episode

8. "You didn't think after all we've been through I'd expose myself without some... added protection?"

9. Jumping into a volcano on purpose: The episode

10. Viggo takes a sip of water in this episode (very important)

11. It took Hiccup and Astrid over four years since their first kiss to officially start dating, but they finally did it and it was one of the best episodes in the whole show

12. Ryker has had enough

13. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies (or did he?)

Race to the Edge S5:

1. "The volcano on Dragon's Edge is a dormant volcano" THINK THE FUCK AGAIN, FISHLEGS

2. How the fuck did Gen Z: The Dragon get ahold of Viggo's sword?

3. Savage needs therapy

4. Snotlout's casual sexism almost gets him killed: Lesbian Island edition

5. If you've ever watched an elderly person try to escape a nursing home then you've seen this episode before. Just without as many bones and corpses

6. The Gays Are Back In Town ft. Gay Snotlout, Gay Fishlegs and Gay Viggo

7. "my city now" - Krogan

8. You cannot watch this episode and tell me that Viggo isn't in love with Hiccup

9. Krogan insulted Viggo's hobby and Viggo got mega salty about it

10. Astrid punches a dragon with poisonous scales and almost dies because Save Stormfly Make Anditode™, turns out she did this for no reason whatsoever because Stormfly Wasn't Dying

11. Tuffnut fakes his own death in order to make Ruffnut happy

12. Dagur not-so-casually finding his fathers dead body

13. Rage.

Race to the Edge S6:

1. My blood has never boiled so hard as it did watching this episode

2. Stoick gets played like a cheap kazzoo and regresses back to how he acted in HTTYD 1 out of sheer stress

3. THIS SHOW LOVES TO FORCE ROMANCES, DOESN'T IT?

4. Fishlegs can't believe that his ancestors were Dragon Hunters as if he wasn't once enrolled in Dragon Killing School

5. Nothing solves a sibling rivalry like teaming up to kill the annoying cousin

6. THIS EPISODE GOT AGE RESTRICTED ON NETFLIX BECAUSE ASTRID SHOOK HER TITS AT HICCUP AND DAGUR AND MALA HAVE A MUTUAL PAIN KINK

7. The twins are just. So ride or die for each other it's not even funny.

8. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies for real this time (Viggo fans start sobbing as The Winner Takes It All by ABBA starts playing in the distance)

9. Snotlout writes a book

10. What if the gang had never left Berk? What if Hiccup never shot down Toothless at the start of HTTYD 1? What if Spitelout actually loved his son?

11. Protecting an island filled with a bunch of dead dragons

12. The satisfied smirk on my face knowing what the characters don't

13. The most satisfying death in the history of mankind.

HTTYD 2:

Way to straight up ruin Hiccup's life, am I right?

HTTYD 3:

Ruining every character and spitting in the face of all that I love

Homecoming:

20 minutes of my life that I'll never get back

Snoggletog Log:

Half an hour of a fireplace and the wrong voice actors. This shit plays like a DVD menu.

#httyd #riders of berk #defenders of berk #race to the edge #httyd 2 #httyd 3 #long post #vigcup

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queerpumpkinnn · 2 years

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For Halloween:

Merman!Finnick Odair meeting the reader but like dark merman who drags them down with them into the ocean or like keeps them in a sea cave with only an underwater entrance… idk if this is how to do requests but it’s an idea I’ve had for a few weeks

This is generally how people do requests, you're all good! I believe the term you're looking for might be siren. I am in love with this concept and I hope I did it justice. I made it so that he was the kind of merman that can transform because I really didn't want to write a fish penis. Hope you like it!

Kinktober 28th: Waterlogged

aka siren luring with Finnick Odair

0.6k words

Summary: The handsome siren you've had eyes for finally has you under his spell.

Pairing: Merman!Finnick Odair x gn!reader

Content warnings: Dubcon via magic, body parts are unspecified, swimming, Finnick is possessive, let me know if I missed anything

While reading, I recommend you listen to the altar is my hips - a Spotify playlist by me!

Your brain felt like it was floating around in the clouds, though in reality this was physically far from true. You were currently extremely far underwater, hidden in a cave, dangling your legs in the water from the ledge. Warm light flickered from the lamp in the corner, illuminating the walls in a dim orange glow. Finnick had no need of it, of course, his eyes were well adjusted to the darkness of the sea, but as yours were not he took the courtesy of bringing a few items down so that you would be comfortable upon your arrival.

Speaking of Finnick, you jumped a bit when you felt hands creep up from your ankles to your knees, resting there. Looking down you saw the charming smile of the charming man who had brought you down here in the first place. The water was rippling behind him and the soft figure of his tail waved up and down behind him, coming in and out of sight with a glint. His chin rested atop his hand, gazing up at you with eyes that would have pierced your soul if not for the impossibly loving look in them.

"You like it?"

You nodded, hand reaching to find his. "It's perfect."

Finnick's hands slid up and down your thighs a few times before resting them on either side of you, hoisting himself up so that his face was level with yours. "Isn't it? This way, I can have you all to myself."

With Finnick at this proximity, you really couldn't be blamed for kissing him like you did. He responded almost immediately, putting you in that warm, fuzzy place that seemed to consume you whenever you were around him. Everything you saw and felt was eerily soft, fluid almost. His aura was magnetic and he drew you in with his piercing gaze and smooth words. He was mesmerizing, tantalizing, enchanting. Your only hesitancy was in wondering why he chose you.

His eager movements had you holding onto his shoulders, exhilarated. Finnick seemed to engulf you, hovering over you. Somewhere along the line his tail had disappeared and replaced itself with defined, muscular legs that slid against yours as he crawled into a secure position above you.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?" The question brought a blush to your cheeks- though his hand stroking your hip, dangerously close to where you so desperately needed him could have also contributed.

"Finnick..." You breathed, barely able to form a coherent thought.

"Right here, sweet."

"I need you."

Before the words had even left your mouth, Finnick's hand snaked over the top of your thigh before finding purchase between your legs, slow movements drawing breathy moans from your lips; the sounds were music to Finnick's ears. Your mind felt empty, and yet it was overwhelmed by the feeling of Finnick's mouth on you, roaming your skin and claiming you with soft pricking of skin from his teeth.

"Keep making those pretty noises for me. Just like that, perfect. Just for me, too. All mine." His voice pushed you further and further to the edge, whispering sweet nothings and praises into your ear. "Mine, mine, mine..."

As the waves of pleasure became more intense and your high came barreling closer, you only had one thought:

Finnick was going to be the death of you.

Finnick Odair Masterlist

Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

The Hunger Games Masterlist

Main Masterlist

#kinktober #kinktober 2022 #finnick odair #finnick odair smut #the hunger games #thg #thg fanfiction #thg fanfic #thg finnick

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obsessedwithtoomanythings · 10 months

Text

The Terrifying Ordeal of Falling in Love with Leon Kennedy

CHAPTER 9

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Reader (female reader)

Series Warnings: Minor injuries, Leon teases reader a lot, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Drinking, Drinking followed by driving, DO NOT DO THAT THIS IS FICTION, Anxiety, Leon S. Kennedy has PTSD, Leon has an anxiety attack, Anxiety Attacks, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nightmares, Leon S. Kennedy has Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Probably incorrect medical talk, Strangulation in one tiny little scene, Reader's brother was a cop who was KIA, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Grief/Mourning, Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, Arguing, Love Confessions, Looking for Alaska is mentioned, Inconvenient Love Confessions, Penis In Vagina Sex, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Leon loves eating Pussy change my mind, Shower Makeout, romantic smut, Desperate Leon S. Kennedy, They are both desperate for each other tbh, They say I love you as they come, Scar Kissing, Enthusiastic Consent, Always pee after sex, UTI PREVENTION, POV First Person, No use of Y/N

Words: 2.2K

Masterlist

July 2004

Every little thing she does is magic

Everything she do just turns me on

Even if my life before was tragic

Now I know my love for her goes on

-Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, The Police

The tin of the light music in the background makes me smile, but Natalie’s god awful singing and her attempt at dancing while 7 months pregnant? Now that makes me laugh. And not just any laugh. A full, abdomen hurting, cheeks pinching howl that brings tears to my eyes.

“Love, you’re going to hurt yourself,” James calls from the couch, hands folded over his waist as he watches his wife with stars in his eyes.

“No I won’t, you big baby!” She yelps, hands finding mine to spin me around in a giggle filled twirl, her bright emerald eyes swirling with the childish energy she carried with her into adulthood. Her cocoa colored hair was tied up 10 minutes ago, but now the strands fall out, flyaways sprouting from every direction.

“Did you want to play rummy, Nat?” James suggests, standing from the couch to tower over the both of us, frame not quite as muscular as Leon, but definitely enough that he could throw two women of our size around easily. She squeals happily rushing to the dining table as quickly as her little waddle will allow, resounding laughs coming from James and I as we follow her. James’ caramel locks flow back, especially more so as he runs his fingers through it, and he smiles at his wife still dancing lightly to the quiet music as he adjusts his glasses on his nose, sitting down and shuffling the deck. The scent of the soup in the crockpot wafting toward us.

“Okay, I swear, I need you at my house every single day to cook cause that shit smells delicious,” she practically moans the words, leaning back in her chair with her hands resting on the table. James starts throwing cards down, dealing us all the cards we need before Natalie gets too carried away with her antics. Three rounds pass, muttered ‘fuck you’s and ‘damnit’s flying around like birds in the sky. James starts dealing cards once more, hitting 7 cards in each pile when I hear the lock click, immediately pulling my attention, confusing Natalie and James for a brief moment. The door opens.

“Leon!” I shout, launching out of my chair toward him. He drops his duffel bag to the ground, completely adjusted to the excited greeting he gets whenever he gets home - if I’m awake, that is. Leon opens his arms, welcoming the hug by wrapping forearms around my waist. It’s hard not to smile and release a tiny snort at my feet being lifted off the ground.

“Hey you.” He sounds drained as he sets me back down, soles landing back on the hardwood floors. I quickly give him a once over, not noticing any outstanding injuries besides a small bruise on the left side of his jaw. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“Hi!” Natalie shouts, standing herself with a huge grin that screams ‘who’s the hunk and why is he in your apartment?’, the sound finally catching Leon’s attention, and he slowly removes his hands from my waist, almost as if he’s self-conscious. I then notice James’ confused glare. That may be why he pulled away.

“Hi, sorry I didn’t realize you had friends over,” he utters, glancing back at me before keeping his eyes trained on James and Natalie.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be home tonight, otherwise I would have planned for them to come another night.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know I was gonna be home tonight.” Natalie clears her throat dramatically and I shoot her an irritated glance.

“So are we gonna get an introduction or…?” She giggles, dopey grin still plastered on her face. I hesitate before speaking, talking to Leon now.

“Are you up for some intros, or do you need some time?”

“I can meet some of your friends, then I really need to-”

“Take your post-mission shower?” I tease and he rolls his eyes in response.

“Hi, I’m Leon.” His hand comes up, offering it to Natalie which she takes surprisingly calm, given her usual excitement. Despite being a chaotic jumble of limbs most of the time, I’m grateful that Natalie can read a room, sensing the man’s energy levels and acting accordingly.

“This is Natalie, my little sister,” I explain and watch as Leon’s eyes light up with recognition.

“Ah, sorry. You look different than the picture we have up.” He gestures to it with his arm. She chuckles.

“It may be my hair,” she suggests sarcastically, hands landing on her baby bump.

“Well, sweetheart, I think I figured out where you learned your sass.” The comment isn’t lost on me and I place a smack against his arm. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice James’ eyes narrow, particularly on the ‘sweetheart’ before he stands. He’s only slightly taller than Leon, but suddenly the testosterone in the room becomes thick enough to choke me.

“Leon, was it?” He asks, and I can practically hear Natalie’s ‘what the hell?’.

“Yeah. You must be Natalie’s husband,” he infers, not taking his eyes off of James.

“James,” he supplies. “And you are?”

“James, he just told you-” But I am cut off.

“Oh, I’m not asking his name.” Oh not this overprotective bullshit again, James.

“James, she’s talked about her roommate before.” Natalie to the fucking rescue. She steps forward, placing a hand on his chest. He deflates a little at her touch, finally breaking the staring contest him and Leon had going on to look at her. The atmosphere calms in an instant as if Natalie had some kind of magical powers. James’ huffs a quick breath before turning back to Leon.

“Sorry man,” he apologizes, offering his hand, which the agent takes gratefully, his own shoulders dropping in relaxation. “I worry about this one,” he adds, gesturing to me with his chin. I roll my eyes at the notion but it’s quickly overshadowed as Leon chuckles.

“Yeah, me too. No big deal.” He worries about me? “I’m gonna take a shower and then probably turn in, it was nice to meet you bo-”

“Do you wanna have dinner with us? I made plenty.” I don’t want him to feel like he has to hide away just cause I have people here.

“I don’t wanna intrude, sweetheart.”

“Nonsense. According to Squish, you’re practically family.” Natalie’s arm slings over my shoulders - almost knocking me off balance - before my cheeks burn hot at the use of the nickname.

“Squish?” Leon questions, eyes landing on me with a quizzical smirk.

“Come eat with us, and I’ll tell you the story,” she offers, that small victorious smile still decorating her small face.

“Sure, just let me take that shower.” His back turns then, heading to his room, presumably for clothes and I walk into the kitchen to check on dinner. Nat comes in shortly after, smirk plastered on her lips, as if she knows some huge secret that I’m not aware of.

“What?” I ask, refusing to face her.

“You like him.” My eyes snap to her before changing my expression to say ‘duh’.

“I live with him. Yeah I like him.” If she knows, she’ll lord it over me for however long she can.

“No, you like like him.” Damn her and how well she knows me. I fake a laugh as I face her, leaning back against the counter, blush spreading across my cheeks unconsciously.

“It’d be a little awkward if I had a crush on my roommate, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh my god,” she starts again, jaw practically hitting the floor. “You love him.” The second sentence is whispered, and before I can even argue, she jacks the radio up, ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’ fading in as she begs me to dance with her with grabby hands in my direction, and I scoff a laugh before taking her hands, joining her in her weird movements that she calls ‘dancing’ in the middle of my kitchen, with the radio blasting, the smell of soup leaking from the crockpot, and a silly little grin on my lips. We quickly take to bobbing our heads to the beat while jumping around, yelling the lyrics a little louder than what is probably acceptable at this hour.

Both so absorbed in the dancing, we don’t notice the men looking at us with amused glances until James let’s out a snigger and I immediately freeze, eyes locked on Leon, seeing something in his gaze that I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Fondness? Admiration? Lo- No. Don’t go there. James moves forward, pulling Nat into a hug and a tender kiss, and I look on, making gagging noises behind them, until Natalie flips me the bird.

“Hey,” Leon says, deterring my attention. His arms open up, and the instinct to let them fold around me is too strong, and I rush forward, pressing my ear to his chest as he envelopes my small frame. His heart is beating faster than usual. “I missed you,” he mumbles into my hair and I find myself looking up at him, chin resting on his pecs, and it takes me a second to realize how close our faces are. The silence stretches on, seemingly like waiting on the other to do something. Anything. I could just lean in…

“I missed you too,” I admit before burying my burning cheeks back into the soft cotton of his tee shirt. “You sure you’re okay?” I mumble into his shirt. Even though it’s a clean shirt, it smells like him, pine mixed with a freshness that reminds me of citrus. He nods against my head, nose pressing into my scalp gently.

“I’m good. This one was alright,” he remarks, before silently adding, “Physically.” I lean up again, getting closer to his ear to whisper.

“Do you wanna sleep next to me tonight?” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a second before nodding, resting his head on my shoulder, arms still wrapped tightly around my shoulders. This moment feels more than intimate, arms wrapped around each other, him breathing me in while I do the same to him, but that intimacy is shattered as my sister clears her throat, a knowing grin spread across her lips as we separate, and I have to silently plead to her to keep her trap shut.

“Food’s done, cuddle bugs.” Bitch.

After a painstaking game of Settlers of Catan, which James won - due to Natalie giving him the win - James steps outside onto the balcony with Leon for a glass of whiskey and his one daily cigarette (he’s quitting) while Natalie and I perch on the couch to watch a rerun of Jeopardy. After 15 minutes or so, I head into the kitchen for glasses of sparkling cider for Natalie and myself. While pouring, I notice the porch door is open, screen closed to keep out the bugs, but their conversation is clearly audible.

“I am sorry about earlier, man.” James’ voice floats across the room. I don’t mean to eavesdrop.

“No, it’s okay. You’re protective of her. I get it.”

“Her brother was my partner. I was there when he died.” He pauses, presumably to take a drink or puff his cigarette. “He died in my arms.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I kinda feel responsible for these girls, you know? Keegan set me up with Nat long before his death, but… It’s hard to not be worried about Squish.”

“You gonna explain that nickname?”

“She sat on a caterpillar once when they spent all day looking for them. She sobbed when she realized its guts were all over her ass, and Keeg started calling her Squish shortly after that.” They laugh, and I feel my heart do a flip at the sound.

“Why can I see that perfectly in my head?” Leon snorts, tone light and teasing. I frown to myself.

“She’s got a good heart. Bit too prone to offer help when it’s not needed but, you know.”

“Oh, I do. First time we met was in January and she pressed me for answers to questions I wasn’t quite ready to deal with.”

“Sounds like Squish.” They go quiet, and for a moment, I debate booking it back into the living room, but then James speaks again and my cheeks flush at his words.

“She really cares about you, you know that?” Silence. I wish I knew if it was because of some unspoken conversation or if Leon truly just doesn’t know what to say. “She loves hard. Friendships, romance, family. Doesn’t seem to matter to her. If she loves you, she really loves you.”

“I know.” What? “God, don’t I know it. She’s one of the few things in this fucked up world that actually makes me think it’s worth it.”

“I saw you, man. I saw the way you looked at her.”

That’s my cue to leave. I stumble out into the living room, trying to rid the conversation from my mind. The boys come back in after 30ish minutes, Natalie and I dozing on the couch comfortably. Bidding them goodbye with hugs and smiles, I watch as they head out the front door before Leon clears his throat, tilting his head toward the bedrooms.

We fall asleep the same way we did the first time I let him into my bed, arms holding me against his front, his breath on my neck, and for a split second, despite his light snoring behind me, I swear his hands cup my stomach the same way James’ held Natalie’s.

Leon: @house-of-kolchek @bonnibuckets @athanasia-day @muffimtv Everything: @chaosandbubbles @kassiekolchek22 @akiramoon8088

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy smut

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erigold13261 · 7 months

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HC: NSpideR Peni is a robot elemental, who has circuit board patterns all over kits skin and face

I love that circuit idea a lot!

Though I don't think there would be a robot elemental (at least not at the moment, Peni might be the first one if that is the case!). I can see her and her powers being a biological milestone for the world, showing that the magic of the world is evolving to incorporate robots into it a lot more (which goes into another ask I got recently about bio-robots I will answer soon lol).

Technically not a robot, but there are definitely a lot of similarities and a heightened connection to tech that Peni has that has made a lot of people wonder if kit was a secret robot (mainly kits peers).

Anyway! I like the idea that there are some skin conditions that show the inside of the body. I already showed this with Daray, whose skin shows his skeleton off. So Peni has a similar one (or maybe it's the same condition just a different specificity) that shows her nervous system (or like, the more major parts of the nervous system like how Daray's skin doesn't show every single bone).

That skin condition, along with Peni's tech magic combined to make kits styling more robotic/mechanical looking (like a circuit board) while also allowing kits eyes, nerve markings, and hair to actually glow (which can dim down at times or even brighten up).

All of this to say, technically Peni is not a robot elemental as those haven't really been seen before now, as robots are a fairly new phenomenon in the scope of the world. But now that robots and technology is a much bigger part of the world (with all the new tech, robots, EDM music, stuff like that), the world is evolving to reflect this change and it is showing a lot in the newer generations.

As for Peni's design, I kinda combined a bit of the Spiderverse version and comic version. It's mainly the Spiderverse design with small tweaks to the clothes and hair from the comic. I also chose to go with yellow eyes instead of red because the comic SP//DR suit had yellow eyes and thought that would be a nice addition! :3

#spiderverse #nsr #no straight roads #nsr daray #peni parker #nsrtalk #eritalks #spidertalk #eriarts #definitely gonna have to figure out a way to remember p/eni's face markings #i'm pretty good with the rest of the body #but i am going to mess up the face a lot #lol #as long as there are 2 connected to the eye #one below those eye ones #and 1-2 above the eye #i think i can make it look consistent enough #:3

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familyofpaladins · 9 months

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I HAD A REVELATION

okay so I was thinking about gender. My gender. And my feelings about being a cis girl over time.

When I was little I used to wear all kinds of dresses and wore nail polish and even occasionally makeup (but like. Sloppily as a 7 year old would lol) and how overtime I stopped wearing nail polish and stopped wearing dresses and despised make up. I dont really remeber why I stopped with nail polish. Maybe because it flaked off too easily or maybe I was sick of the few colors we had idk. I know I gradually stopped wearing dresses and night gowns because I was sick of being told I couldnt "put my legs up [up against the wall or just straight up in the air] or that I had to sit a certain way while wearing one. So I wore more and more pants.

I think about how i used to stand in the toys aisles while my mom did grocery shopping and look at "The Boys" section and think how much cooler it was than the girls section.

And I think about how my music teacher told us one day we'd hit puberty and we'd grow and us girls would be like "[in a high pitched voice] OH MY GOSH I LOVE BOYS AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO" and I looked over at my classmates and friends to see if they were also terrified of becoming annoying teenage boy-obsessed girls.

And i think about how when I was at my friend's house and we were building "tree forts" in the woods i would wish I had a penis for the convenience of being able to just go pee behind a tree, because squatting near the ground was Not Fun and I hated walking all the way back to the house. And I think about how I hated that I'd have to wear a bra once my boobs started to come in

Now you might be thinking. Friend I think you want[ed] to be a boy. But the thing is, i dont.

I may have hated being restricted in dresses but I dont actually hate them. I've gotten a couple dresses in the last 10 years (for prom and graduation and a [not my] wedding) and how I actually did like how I looked in them and enjoyed wearing them for that time.

I think about how I was jealous of the boys selection of toys, but also how I had a ton of barbies that I massively enjoyed and how if I'd been a boy I probably wouldnt have been able to enjoy them (thanks to pressure from society) as well as a bunch of other "girly" items and shows and movies. I think about how I'm actually Asexual and that I wasnt scared of becoming "a young woman", I just didnt understand the obsession with sex/romance/boyfriend&girlfriend stuff.

And while having a penis is more convenient for peeing I also remeber thinking that it would suck to get kicked in the balls and/or that trope of falling on soemthign between your legs that happens in so many movies (not that it feels any better with a vagina honestly). And that if I had been born a boy I'd most likely have to deal with all the toxic masculinity forced on me, and I'm glad I dont have to deal with that.

And while me and my boobs dont always get along, I remember that after getting my first cute bra, I thought. Oh well maybe this isnt so bad. And I mostly wear sports bras now because I do wish they were smaller and I HATE that so many bras (EVEN THE SPORTS BRAS) are already padded into cup shapes, and while I don't mind Having Boobs, i Do Not want to show them off. And sometimes i think that maybe i wouldn't mind chopping them off, but then i think how my figure/outline/silhouette would look with out them, and that seems worse.

And i think about the times I've accidentally been called "Sir" from tired fast food employees when wearing gender nonspecific clothing and felt happy about it. But not "oh it feels right to be called sir/he/him" , but more of "hehe I fooled you! You thought this was a dress but its pants!"

And really this is all to say. I was born a girl and grew up that way so it's what I'm used to. If I'd been born with a dick then I guess I'd be a guy. If you magically stuck me in a male body right now, would I feel like a Guy or feel like a girl in a guys body? I honestly dont know. So am I non binary? Maybe that that doesnt quite feel right either.

Being a girl is what I've grown up as and into, and it's what I'm used to and going by anything else is… odd. Maybe itd be better and maybe it wouldnt. It's like an old blanket. You've had it forever and maybe its frayed and patched maybe a little too small and it's not what people expect you to have for a blanket, and maybe you could do with a new one. But nothing feels right with out it. No other blanket feels the same. It's what you're used to and its familar. It's a comfort blanket.

And that's why being a [cis] girl is my comfort gender.

#Sorry that got LONG #This is a very personal post and I dont mind it being reblogged if anyone wants to #But dont be weird about it please. Dont tell me I'm an egg or actually trans or nb. Cause I'm not #*points at post* I'm a girl. It's my comfort gender :)#(edit: I don't mind if the 'wrong' pronouns get used. Like if someone uses he or they for me I'm not gonna be upset #I more just dont want labels put on my gender besides cis or comfort gender )#Man I need that post where it's like so many asexual people are removed from gender. Cause yeah that kinda fits #Maybe I'm agender or soemthing. But mostly I'm Chill With Being A Girl #Also feel free to also totally ignore this post #I'm just rambling about thoughts #Gender identity #Comfort gender #Its after midnight so I apologize if none of this makes sense or like. There are unfinished thoughts lol

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horuslupercal · 2 months

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ok but speaking of playlists here's my nicer warhammer playlists (all spotify links unfortunately for non-spotify users)

THE SKULL THRONE TOWERS: KHORNE mostly grindcore, deathcore, and assorted metal. I am a fail metal fan and I don't actually know the differences between most of the genres I just know I like them

THIS SILENCE OFFENDS SLAANESH deathstep, aggrotech, techno, etc

disown songs that remind me of Sigismund for whatever reason

I snorted a rubric marine and now I can do magic songs that remind me of Ahriman for whatever reason

having an aux cord for a penis NSFW more than one of these songs have sexy moaning in them. this one is technically an OC playlist but he's a noise marine, it's noise marine music, for noise marines, by noise marines

#warhammer #it's me #noise marine shills

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nutria--oscura · 10 months

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just finished the ep

q: what the fuck just happened?

~spoilers for s2 ep36~

title and description are terrifying me

initiative??? immediately???

'are bullets entering lincoln?' - matt arnold 2023

terryyyyyy, w-what do you have on you?

'hubby' 'babe'x2

is that marching band music when normal heals himself? why am i not suprised?

TERRYYYYYYY

'it's hermie's turn, and hermie is going to sulk' no-

TERRI DOESN'T REMEMBER TJ- I KNOW WE WERE ALL EXPECTING IT BUT LIKE- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

a flower in a gun as gentle as possible? ok?

OH SHITE LINC GOT SHOT

'you stuck me behind those prison bars with nothing but a gun' i need to use this now, one way or another i need to use it

'it's normal and all the other ones!'

TERRI NOOOOOOO

WILLY YOU ************* *** ***** *** ******-

WAIT COLLARS ON 'US' SO ALL THE DADS HAVE COLLARS

'there's a spell called magic?' 'dispel magic'

JPL=just penis losers

'actually i have the best dad and he's not he-around' 'someday my dad's gonna come to a game, and he's gonna see hoe great i am' bestie, noooo

terry's 'oh no' is killing me

HERMIE NO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??? i mean i know why but like WHYYY

normalllllll

hermieeeee

oakworthyyyyy (+ linc? again with the thruple thing boi?)

NO THE BLACK PARADE

NO NO NO

'i'm going to roll, look at the thing i'm looking at' - me every time i try to look at something without my glasses

'goths are pretty small'

me 🤝 taylor: wearing clothing cause they're fucking cool even tho the temperature and activities are absolutely gonna murder us

'it's a width issue not a length issue' ok sir-

the parade is looking for scary? OH NO THEY'RE LOOKING FOR SCARY

taylor... wha-? ohhhh ok

'find ammo my man' really is doing a lot of work

TJ ASKING FOR A HUG AND TERRI GIVING IT TO HIM OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO

hermie- i know what you're about to- and he's done it

'LIKE ITSY BITSY SPIDER?!' 'like itsy bitsy spider!'

'don't say it too mean tho, cause it will hurt my feelings' awhh- 'you can say it to me nothing hurts my feelings anymore' linc are you ok? (ans: no, sherlock, no)

'ok babe' 'yea babe' these 2 man

oh yeah the black parade is still there

NO THE TAPE MEASURE NOO- WAIT IS THE SCARY TJ SEES ACTUALLY HERMIE AS SCARY- SHIT

'hey boys~'

do a flip! *taylor flips* hell yeah! *taylor fucks up* oh no!

parachute train! parachute caterpillar!

the poem? 'makes me wanna scream or go insane' well do i have news for you!

YES WILL! REMEMBERING TJ

TJ NOOOOO-

GERARD IS THE LEADER?! whay am i surprised?

oh no- oh no no no no no no no n o n o n o

TJ NO- OH NO- NO

'it's been a really long time since anyone's said that they're proud of me' bestie are you o- (ans: you already know, why are you asking?)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO TJ NO-

FUCK ME HOLY SHIT NO NO NO NO NO N

A BULLET?!?!

SNIPER? GRANT???

GRANT NOOOO-

GRANT SCREAMING IN PAIN- SHIT-

once again:

Therapy for all

#the outro is so upbeat in comparison to what just fucking happened #y'all im full on crying rn #holy shit #what the fuck just happened?#lincoln li wilson #normal oak #taylor swift (not that one)#scary marlowe #theresa marlowe #terri marlowe #terry jr stampler #grant wilson #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #screaming crying sobbing #whispers of the raine

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self-loving-vampire · 7 months

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Just for fun, I decided to take the COGIATI test and see how bad it is.

My first conclusion is that my definition of "fun" is rather masochistic at times, and I don't expect other people to find this post that entertaining either. Still...

Question 1 is already so much.

"Describe your relationship with mathematics."

"Girl Math" nonsense coming right out the gate, apparently.

"You are at a meeting. Everyone at the meeting is the same sex as you. The leader of the meeting announces that it's time for hugs all around! How do you feel about this?"

I don't know why they have to specify the sex of the other people here. I don't like being touched either way. There isn't really an option that really expresses how much I don't want people to touch me. At most I can just say it's unnecessary.

"As a child, when you played with close friends, how would you describe the type of play you liked to be a part of the most?"

You know this is a boomer test because "video games" is not an option.

"Which choice most closely describes why you dress up 'en femme', as a woman."

All of the potential answers to this question are on a spectrum between "it is sexual to me" and "it just makes me feel better". There is no option for "I don't actually do this."

And like... there's also cis women who don't dress up like that very often if at all, or who feel nothing about it. Even a vaguely GNC cis woman could very easily take this test and get labeled as a man somehow.

Anyway, I don't actually know what to choose here because this time no answer even approximates how I feel. Normally I would just drop the test upon reaching a point like this but I feel inclined to dig deeper so I'll pick a mild "makes me feel better" sort of answer and continue.

"You are parking your car. You must reverse into a somewhat narrow space to park. What do you do?"

I don't drive. There is no option for people who don't drive. You could take all of the insane trad stereotypes out of this test and it would still be bad just because it regularly forgets rather common types of people exist.

"You are about the age of 14. You have to take a test, but you can chose which test to take. Getting a good grade will result in a big reward. Which test would you choose to take, if you had a week to study first?"

Really not a fan of how much of this test is "men are intellectual and do math and science while women are emotional and do literature and history".

"Your penis and testicles are destroyed, perhaps due to an accident or injury, but they are gone forever. You are otherwise the same as now, but you are utterly without your reproductive organs, just smooth, flat flesh. What is the most realistic statement of how you would deal with this?"

Does the person that made this test realize that what seems to be the most popular kind of SRS repurposes those bits and therefore losing them would also prevent further modification later? Pretty sure most trans people who understand that and have a sufficiently long time horizon would not wish for this to happen even if they don't enjoy having the thing.

But instead I'm getting the impression that the "True Trans" answer as evaluated by the test is to cheer at this.

"You are in a restaurant with some friends. It is moderately noisy, but not loud. A song you know comes over the loudspeakers, but done in Muzak (tm) style, often called "elevator music". Would you recognize the song instantly?"

Honestly if the kind of music I like played in a restaurant, even as elevator music, I would be completely shocked.

"Suddenly the entire world is magically changed. Now you exist in a world utterly devoid of gender. All bodies are hermaphroditic, utterly androgynous in appearance, both male and female at the same time. The culture reflects this, as does all human interaction. You, however, are still yourself inside, with all of your memories of living in our world as it is now. Your feelings are intact, only your flesh has been changed. In this new world, everyone dresses, acts, and lives however they feel at the time, and there is no such thing as being male or being female. You alone remember the world of gender. In such a world, would you still need to dress like a woman?"

Starts as an actually interesting premise for a question but then the actual question is "would you still dress like a woman"? I already don't do that. I already dress how I want so going there would not change anything.

"A doctor offers you a painless, absolutely effective means to be completely masculine. All feminine desires and traits would be eliminated, and you would be happy and content to be a man. You would never need to dress, and you would never want to be feminine in any way again. You are assured that after the treatment you would be completely content. Would you take the treatment?"

You don't get it. I don't think either extreme of gendered behavior is in line with most people's true feelings to begin with. Most men who are safe to express themselves do in fact have at least some "feminine" traits. These categories are made up and especially bad when used to prescribe how one should behave.

Furthermore, sufficiently radical and sudden personality changes are kind of like dying and being replaced by someone else who is just using the same body. This is why I wouldn't cure myself of autism too.

I think even men, cis or trans, have reasons to be wary of this treatment.

"When you look at a person's face, how well can you honestly judge what they are feeling?"

I should note that reading and pattern-matching expressions is not actually the same thing as feeling affective empathy. Anyone could learn to do it with practice and memory.

But also I feel like pointing out that trying to make unlikely claims based on things like expressions and body language is extremely dubious and a lot of people end up just imagining how the other person feels and assuming it to be true even though it isn't. It's often best not to make assumptions like that.

"You are having an erection. How do you feel?"

At this point? It should not even be possible.

"It is grade school. The teacher gives you a gold star on your work for excellence. What is it for? I knew how to multiply. The teacher thought I wrote the best poem. I got my addition right. I had perfect spelling with no mistakes. I knew the name of the capitol."

You may live in a strange world in which math is for boys and spelling is for girls, but I live in a story in which I am the mary sue protagonist and am good at anything I try. I could be getting the award for any subject I wanted except maybe the poetry because I don't have any interest trying to do that.

"There is a voice mail on your machine. The person does not leave a name, they seem to expect you to know them. How easy is it for you to remember who called by the sound of their voice?"

There was a similar question earlier but I really have to say: Even if you don't recognize someone's voice the context of what they are saying would give it away quickly enough that the question is not very realistic.

Especially since I just don't expect calls for anything I have not previously scheduled.

"A stranger is happy at meeting you. He wants to give you a hug. How do you honestly feel about this?"

Did there really have to be two questions about getting hugged by strange people? Are women really supposed to enjoy that kind of thing? The way a lot of the ones on tumblr talk I figured at least some would be outright paranoid or at least very uncomfortable about the idea.

Anyway, I got rated as "65, androgynous". This is not surprising to me considering how heavily this whole thing relies on traditional gender roles that do not go well with my autism at all.

The conclusions drawn from this, however, are especially stupid.

"As an androgynous being, both genders, and both sexes are natural to your expression."

This is true of practically everyone in the world. It's why conservatives and hyper-conformists in general need to punish and indoctrinate people into obeying that shit. If gender roles were as natural as they say it would not be necessary to enforce them and train people into them.

"Permanent polarization in either direction might bring significant unhappiness. It is not recommended that you go through a complete transsexual transformation."

Oops. I already did that and it worked great. It turns out that you can be trans and not want to be some kind of motherly bimbo who dresses exclusively in pink dresses with heavy makeup. There's a whole range to trans people, just like with cis people.

Just like how it would be ridiculous to ban cis women from being women if they're GNC, it's exactly the same with same with trans women.

"You might find a partial transformation of value, if you find yourself more attracted overall to the feminine. You are more likely a transgenderist, than a transsexual."

"Transgenderist"???

Oh, apparently that's an extremely archaic (and extremely confusing) term for non-binary.

But I'm not non-binary, just autistic.

Anyway, 0/10 this test is just bad in pretty much every way.

#long post

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iartsysam · 1 year

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Water Spirits: La Sirene & Mèt Agwe 🧜🏽‍♀️ ⛵️🩵

titled: Son Mizik ou and Peny bò dlo

Translated to: Sound of your music and Comb near water both pieces are inspired by the mother of the Ocean.

Throughout history, the element of water has been associated with rich symbolism.

It is an archetypal symbol of birth, death, and creativity.

It is formless, containing potential form and possibilities.

It is the realm of dreams and the astral, the home of emotions, intuition, and inspiration.

Water dominates Haitian life, so it is no wonder that there are many religious beliefs centered on it. The Lord of the Water is Agwé, and his consort is la Sirène.

Because she lives between the ordinary and the magical, between the world of land and the world of the ocean, la Sirène is the keeper of occult wisdom.

As her name suggests, she also has the most beautiful voice of all the #Lwa — she is known as the Queen of the Choir.

La Sirene is the patroness of music; her voice is renowned as it carries over the seas, calling the men she will take as her lovers.

The spiritual nature of music cannot be defined by religion, culture, or genre. Music precedes and transcends all of those frameworks.

Music is, at its essence, the sound of spirit. When created from the heart and with truth and pure intention, music is a spiritual expression of the universal nature and the highest order.

Music is an integral part of our life as it is a way of expressing our feelings and emotions.

Always with her is Met Agwe, her husband, the spirit of the sea. They are the Divine Royal Couple manifested within the ocean, and they carry all of the mysteries contained within the sea within themselves.

As with Met Agwe, La Sirene is a keeper of the secret knowledge of the sea, and she weaves this knowledge into the songs she sings for her children.

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unicornpoop · 1 year

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Unicornbound (All-female kidswap/bloodswap AU)

An update on my all-female Homestuck swap from another blog I’ll be deleting soon. Remember the bards in this AU have cone boobs instead of the gag penis’s due to a Female Gamzee design.

Joan Lalonde (Bard of Light): Joan is the main character in this AU. Just because she’s a Lalonde now doesn’t mean she’s not going to be the main focus. She lives with Mom Lalonde (Dad Egbert) in a vintage lavender 1900s mansion. Joan has long chestnut brown hair styled in two braided pigtails with purple bows at the end of them and has lavender eyes with purple cat eye glasses. Her symbol is a lavender ghost. She’s a weird oddball who can’t keep secrets and causes a lot of bad luck. Her interests are ghosts, painting wine glasses, horror and mystery movies, and, magic tricks.

Rose Strider (Sylph of Time): Rose has red eyes and medium length natural ginger hair with a red rose headband in her hair. Her symbol is a red crystal ball. She lives with Mom Strider in a museum. She’s a sweet meddling girl who loves classical music, sewing, poetry, writing fairytales, black magic, and crystals.

Dove Harley (Mage of Space): Dove has green eyes covered by black shades and long natural blonde hair with a green headband bow in it. Her symbol is a green Walkman. She lives with Sis Harley in a fancy tower. She’s a cool intelligent creative girl who loves science (Thinks it’s rad), bird watching, fashion, drawing, writing song lyrics, all genres of music, and sports.

Jade Egbert (Thief of Breath): Jade has blue eyes, short raven black hair with blue hairclips and blue tinted glasses. Her symbol is a blue flower. She lives with Grandma Egbert in a wood cabin. Jade is a over confident bubbly jerk who loves alchemy, botany, plushies, dogs, money, and indie cartoons.

Thieves usually are friends with Sylphs (Kanaya, Vriska) and (Meenah, Aranea) so Jade and Rose would be close. Though it seems time players (Damara, Aradia) at some point beat the shit out of the Thief (Vriska, Meenah), so at some point Jade pisses off Rose enough to get her butt kicked. Joan (as a Bard) would be a danger at some point (She’d go grimdark and go against her team at some point).

ALPHA KIDS: LESS TOXIC AND MORE LIKEABLE

Jane Lalonde (Witch of Void): Jane has pink eyes and chestnut brown hair with cat eye pink glasses. Her symbol is a pink cupcake. Jane is a energetic , very opening kid who loves baking, drinking shakes, and vintage movies.

Roxy Strider (Heir of Heart): Roxy has long Ginger hair with a orange cat hair clip on the left side of her head and orange eyes. Her symbol is a orange heart symbol. Roxy is a sweet empathic kid who loves wine coolers, hacking, science, rock music, felines, destruction, video games, and sports.

Dina English (Seer of Hope): Dina has long natural blonde hair held up in a ponytail and has emerald eyes hidden by anime shades. Dina’s symbol is a green unicorn. Dina is a positive insightful girl (with insecurities) who loves building robots, unicorns, studying plants, and cars.

Jaci Crocker (Knight of Life): Jaci has long black hair styled in a braided ponytail and has light blue eyes. Her symbol is a blue skull. Jaci is a insecure sweet kid who loves adventuring the outdoors, collecting gold treasure, and crystal skulls.

Each classpect picked for the Beta Trolls are terrible. You’ll feel sorry for this poor, poor session. Oh and yeah they have pastel blood because...pretty!

Feferi Megido (Bard of Time): Feferi lives in a small humble home with her Seahorse lusus by a pond. Feferi is a Cherry (burgundy blood) with short hair. She is a creepy laidback weirdo who loves swimming, fighting for lowblood rights, pop music, dead things, and collecting sea shells. She’s mostly friendly, but can be bitchy at times due to the stress of being a lowblood. Being a Bard, she does become a threat later on and being a time player she kills the thief (Equius).

Eridan Nitram (Sylph of Breath): Eridan lives not to far from feferi in a similar size home with her owl lusus. Eridan is a Orange Sherbet (bronze blood) with medium length black hair with some bronze dye. Eridan is a lighthearted carefree troll whose interests are alchemy and witches. She is the patron Troll for Rose Strider.

Gamzee Captor (Page of Doom): She lives in the city with her wolf lusus. She’s a Lemonade Blood (gold blood) with very long hair. She has normal eyes (She has bronze blood powers). She’s laidback and irresponsible who has interests in baking pies with mind honey, fagyo, and clowns. Still being a Capricorn, she’d become a killer just like her canon counterpart at some point. She would just love all those pretty colors on her wall...

Equius Vantas (Thief of Blood): She lives in the city with her unicorn lusus. In this AU she doesn’t hide her blood as limebloods aren’t extinct, just rare. She has long hair styled in a braid and sports lime green tinted glasses. She’s a over confident jerk who loves unicorns, building robots to have tea parties with them, and LARPING. She ends up being killed by Feferi. In this AU she builds Feferibot with fuchsia blood which pisses her off.

Vriska Leijon (Knight of Heart): She lives in the city (being neigh8ors with Equius) with her scorpion lusus. Vriska is a limeade (oliveblood) with short hair (and has normal eyes). Vriska is less of a bitch with self esteem issues. Her interests are Larping, scorpions, spiders, riches, and romance. As the knight she assists Terezi with frog breeding duties.

Terezi Maryam (Prince of Space): She lives in the forest in a nice large home with her lusus, the mother grub. Terezi has medium length black hair and is a Mint Blood (jadeblood). In the beginning of the session, she is not blind, but does become blind later. Her interests are justice for lowbloods, dragons, tasting pastel rainbow crayons, and loves the colors of the rainbow. She becomes a killer when she is killed by Feferi. She comes back as a rainbow drinker seeking revenge.

Kanaya Pyrope (Witch of Mind): She lives in a fancy tower with her fox lusus. In this AU she is a tealblood. She’s a bubbly troll interested in fashion, rainbow drinkers, creating jewelry, gardening, and sewing. She uses a powder puff that turns into a scythe. She's got flushed feelings for Terezi. She hates Feferi, Aradia, and Nepeta with her whole heart. Because mind players seem to lose a sense, Kanaya in this AU later in the session becomes deaf in one ear and blind in one eye.

Nepeta Serket (Heir of Light): She lives in a nice hive with her tiger lusus. She’s a blue raspberry blood (cerulean blood) with normal eyes (Until later....). She’s a lucky daredevil who loves LARPING, romance, rubrics cubes, felines, and collecting lucky items. Thanks to Nepeta’s hard role playing Kanaya became blind in one eye. She secretly feels sorry, but she has to win.

Karkat Zahhak (Seer of Void): She lives in a nice hive with her crab lusus by a ocean. She’s a blueberry (indigo/cobalt/bl00) (whatever you get it) with long hair. She’s a gossip queen that knows all your secrets. Her interests are reading horror literature as she is a huge bookwarm. Despite being a highblood, she still gets babied by kanaya.

Sollux Makara (Mage of Rage): She lives in a huge-mansion like Hive with her two-headed dolphin lusus. She’s a Grape (indigo/purple blood) that’s not interested in the clown religion. She’s calm with a very bad temper that scares everybody on the team. Her interests are hacking, painting, and collecting eggs.

Tavros Ampora (Maid of Hope): She lives in a mansion in the deep blue sea with her sea-bear lusus. She’s a taffy (violet blood) with long hair styled the same as Fluttershy from mlp. She’s a shy Troll very much interested in fairytales and fantasy. She’s a manipulative day dreamer. She’s a doormat pushed around by basically everybody. She was killed by Terezi which sucks because before Equius ruined their relationship, they were great friends.

Aradia Peixes (Rogue of Life): She lives in a fancy sea palace with her sea hawk lusus AND her ancestor HER MAJESTY.. She’s a short haired fuchsia blood. She’s a bubbly creepy jerk who loves adventuring the deep sea, collecting dead things, collecting pearls, riches, and sea shells. She's full of life (at the beginning of the session, until later...). Her and Feferi were best buddies despite their places in the hemospectrum.

ALPHA TROLLS:

Meenah Megido (Prince of Time): A lowblood gold digging bully. She has an obsession with Damara. They’re dating ONLY because Damara is mega rich. Jane punched her that one time. Beats the shit out of Porrim at some point.

Cronus Nitram (Maid of Breath): Dresses like a bad ass 80s chick. A independent confident woman with a ton of hairspray.

Kurloz Captor (Rogue of Doom): A easy going well-liked Troll who has a great relationship with all of her teammates. Uses her psychic powers to mess with Cronus.

Horuss Vantas (Sylph of Blood): The mom friend of the group. Also still has a HUGE love for horses.

Aranea Leijon (Seer of Heart): As the Seer of Heart her power is to heal and care for people and that’s it. Much more likeable than canon.

Latula Maryam (Bard of Space): Loves to roller-skate and has the hots for Cronus. Her favorite flavor is chocolate bronze blood.

Porrim Pyrope (Thief of Mind): A manipulative fashionista. She gets her ass kicked by Meenah in this AU. Is very much in love with Meulin Serket and Aranea Leijon.

Meulin Serket (Page of Light): She has trouble focusing on many things. That catnip is DEFINITLEY not hers! Smokes seaweed with Damara.

Kankri Zahhak (Knight of Void): She’s introverted even though she doesn’t mean to be. Constantly lies too.

Mituna Makara (Heir of Rage): Skeptical of pretty much everything. Loves to roller-skate with the rad rainbow drinker.

Rufioh Ampora (Witch of Hope): The trustworthy super happy person on the team. Has so much confidence. She is very much in love with Porrim, Cronus, and Damara.

Damara Peixes (Mage of Life): A very hyper active rich Sea Dweller who spends her time smoking sea weed, if not doing that, then she’s watching Troll Anime. She speaks awful Google Translate Korean thinking she’s slick. She wears a beautiful fuchsia hanbok.

CHERUBS:

Calliborn (Lord of Space): Is a Limeblood and Is the good guy in the series. At first is mean to Dina, but in the end become friends.

Calliope (Muse of Time): Is a candy red blood and is the big bad of the series, along with Her Majesty. She draws mean pretty great art of the kids and the trolls. She speaks in a evil British tone. Is obsessed with Roxy in this AU.

#Unicornbound #Homestuck #Hs #Bloodswap #kidswap #Hs au #homestuck au #Homestuck bloodswap #Homestuck kidswap

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theloathsometwinkeater · 3 months

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ranking random soulsborne (mostly elden ring) bosses based on how much i like them but my takes are kinda bad

uhh 30 least liked and number 1 is my favorite

30. godskin duo

nuff said tbh. terribly designed boss. from had no idea how to make it hard so they just chucked two enemies in the dumbass room

29. the monkeys from sekiro

boring copy and paste of guardian ape

28. elden beast

elden beast is probably one of my least favorite fights in elden ring. for some reason torrent isnt available in its arena so you have to go chasing after it every time it runs away 😭😭 average int build fight

you could literally give me melania spamming scarlet aeonia, maliketh with 3x his normal health, and the double crucible knights all in the same tiny cramped room and i would still probably like it more than elden beast

the execution leaves much to be desired; especially for a final boss. give me cool insane bloodborne esque attacks not penis dragon spamming elden stars

27. fire giant

i dont like the fire giant fight. yeah im probably gonna get a lot of 'git guds' for this one but he always gmfu. WHEN HE GETS STUCK ON THE FUCKING TERRAIN I START TWEAKING ITS SO ANNOYING

26. ornstein and smough

smoughs fatass ruins the fight for me i srsly cant take him srsly with that goofy ass giggle

25. death rite bird

design is cool but i really dont like the fight

24. night's calvary

:-( this boss couldve been really cool. its so glitchy in game tho

the altus plateau calvary glitch is really funny tho. if youve never seen it essentially it bugs out if you stray too far from its locked spawn point and gets stuck and stops attacking

23. renalla

ehhhh. i hate int builds. plus i think her fight is kind of boring. maybe im biased

22. magma wyrm makar

hes just annoying. i dont like his design. the lore is cool!!

21. orphan of kos

cool bossfight but i still need to git gud so he ranks low bc i keep dying

20. radagon

ugh. first, hes ginger. second, his attacks are insane. third, hes ginger

19. friede & ariandel (i think thats how you spell it)

fun boss in design but the three phases is insane

18. astel

ehhh. i like astel for the design but the fight reminds me of elden beast. lots of running away for like no reason

at least astel has a somewhat enjoyable fight

17. red wolf

i like the dog bc i think its funny it can do fucking magic and wield a sword but the fight is kind of annoying especially if ur strength build

16. mergos wet nurse

very fun lore wise but the fight is so eh

15. sif :(

such a tragic fight. i think it was well designed tbh but since all ds1 bosses are easy as shit he doesnt place as high on my list of liked bosses

14. godrick

godrick is probably one of my favorite fights due to how fucking dumb he is. he literally crawls toward you and throws wind at you. he has to attach a dragon to his arm to beat you and still fucking loses. all those limbs he grafted to give him power just weigh him down and i think thats really funny

13. margit

margit is a very fun first story boss. his moveset is pretty cool and i have his voice line engrained into my skull

12. moon presence

i love this boss mostly bc of the cutscene since the fight is kind of underwhelming

11. divine dragon

i love the music plus the fight is cool. i like the genre of souls bosses that are very sad and pathetic looking

10. mohg

mohg is one of my favorite fights. i love his voice. i love his music. he gets major points for being a lolicon tho #freemiquella #mohglordofbloodisoverparty

9. artorias

I LOVE THIS FIGHT. whole game you hear about this dude and the fight doesnt disappoint imo. i wish they kept his voicelines

8. maria of the astral clocktower

shes so cool. i love her sm

7. LUDWIG

amazing fight

amazing music

amazing lore

what more could you want points off for being british

6. isshin

isshin is VERY cool. i havent played sekiro in a while but i remember enjoying the fight

5. maliketh

his first phase is eh but his second phase is insane

the attacks are so cool and the fact he bounces off his own fucking attack is insane. what the fuck hes so cool

4. midir

very fun fight. yes its hard but you can really feel how angry and sad he is

3. malenia

honestly one of my favorite fights in ER. yes its hard as shit but her design is so cool and her lore is tragic

points off for nuking radahn

2. fortissax

i love the ost and i love just how... sad and tragic the whole fight feels? hes clearly suffering from the deathblight and the fact hes been fighting it off is so cool. even an immortal dragon cant fight off the deathroot which is insane.

radahn

i love radahn so much

seriously it might be my favorite fight in the series

his attacks are cool. his design is cool. his lore is fucking cool. his fight is so cool-- leading an army into battle and charging radahn is my favorite moment. plus the fact he fucking holds back the STARS is fucking awesome what the fuck hes insane

the tragedy of that accidental patch will never not be funny to me. pre-patch radahn wasnt even that fucking hard 😭😭😭 git gud you fuckign loser. pushed fromsoft so hard they accidentally nerfed him

honorable mentions that include some normal enemies (dislikes):

crucible knight duo

god i fucking hate this fight. crucible knights are annoying on their own but this is a whole new level. dungeon isnt even worth it

rykard

hes... fine... but his pool of lava is annoying plus the magic spam

fia's champions

how the fuck is this an actual boss

valiant gargoyles

FUCKKK THIS BOSS.

agheel

his lore is cool and i like that the dragonburnt ruins hollows like... worship him? its kind of cool. but his fight is either just cheesing or chasing him around. plus his moveset is shared by like every dragon in the game

erdtree avatar

literally just asylum demon

castle sol knight

iykyk. fuck this guy

gideon

FUCK YOUUU

rune bears

what the actual fuck. my first playthrough they absolutely clapped my cheeks

black blade kindred

nuff said

godefroy

literally just a copy and paste of godrick

istvan

weirdly hard? his attacks are insane

pets from dark souls 2

ulcerated tree spirit

the fact that its attack is just flailing around in the tiny ass spaces theyre always put in is so annoying. the one in caelid is insane

honorable mentions that i actually liked

ekzykes, borealis and adula

i think theyre cool. yeah they essentially share the same model as agheel but like... magic dragons

plus i feel bad for ekzykes

placidusax

very cool boss. love him

#elden ring #bloodborne #dark souls #dark souls 2 #fromsoftware #fromsoft games #i love radahn #iguys is this real #did i cook

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bruinhilda · 6 months

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Ah, rock shows. The mix of serious gem and fossil sellers, amazing crafters, random jewelry sellers, and woo-woo crystal magic followers.

One booth owner assured me all the jewelry was infused with Reiki energy and that music bowls were involved and so forth. To me, this is code saying, "all wares are marked up because magic," so I moved on pretty quickly. The next booth had wonderful prices on simple carvings and random tumbled/polished stones. I dropped some money there, while listening to a family discuss the magical properties of various stones while they tried to decide what to buy. At one point, the booth owner was asked about the particular magic abilities of a particular stone, and I'm impressed at how she refrained from rolling her eyes as she recommend they look it up on google. Her booth was NOT selling magical items, so I'm not sure why this group thought she'd know whether serpentine has healing energy or whatnot.

Upon reflection, I probably should have gone back and bought more from her. The agate dragon heads were pretty cool.

I guess I just find it weird because back when I was into all things occult and mystic, "crystal magic" was explained as, "the rocks aren't actually magic. Some rocks are just good at focusing and amplifying certain energies, so they make good tools for doing magic." As in, any magic going on is coming from you, the rock is a rock to anyone else. And these days practitioners insist that the rocks are full of magic energy and just holding or wearing such and such stone will heal all your ills! Funny how there can be bins of $5 quartz readily available in a lot of places, but people still die of cancer, huh?

It's also possibly irritating to me because a lot of my selection IS based on personal vibes, and I don't like people blathering about magic that they haven't even researched properly while I'm trying to decide if this piece of jasper I'm holding will make me happy when I roll it around in my hands and study the abstract pictures in it. "Do you like rock? Does rock make you feel happy when you hold it? Buy rock. Don't expect rock to cure love life. Rock only bring love if you trying to attract geologist."

Which brings us to the multiple bins of penis carvings. The ones with little feet were charming, but most of them were just, "here's a bunch of dicks carved out of onyx!" Not that I'm objecting or anything. I fully understand why you might want a stone dick on your shelf or endtable. It's just with the magic talk floating around, I suspect some sellers would be giving me a lecture on how the carving will cure a person's erectile dysfunction if I showed any interest.

I don't know why the most common carving throughout the show was mushrooms. Except that it's probably a really easy thing to carve. I did consider buying one of the carved t-rex heads that were next to the dicks, but I would have had to risk using a downtown ATM to afford one, and that always gets my cards locked due to "suspicious activity."

I ended up with a bag of angelite that I'm going to try my hand at carving, a bag of I don't know what but they were pretty and the deal was for two bags, and I didn't need TWO bags of angelite, two nice tumbled pieces of ocean jasper that had interesting eye-like patterns, a crude sphere of I don't know what stone, but it looks neat, some beads that were on severe discount, a little bag of little fossils meant as a collector's starter kit, four cut pieces of quartz that were in the bargain bin because they were cloudy and full of inclusions (which is how I prefer them), and one rough opal that I couldn't take my eyes off of. I regret passing up some of the affordable carvings, but I don't exactly have display shelf space, and the cats routinely send everything they encounter crashing to the floor anyway. Maybe next time.

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softichill · 6 months

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ah! Sorry for being a bit late. I was entranced by the magics of your blog! I really need to learn not to scroll your blog. It's too fun. I got sis to II Steve Cobbs. imagine being one of the biggest bastards on inanimate earth and you are made of corn and called Steve. She's almost got to the Suitcase drowning sequence! That girl needed to have been eliminated. Oj was doing her a FAVOR. Poor phone fella too. He sucks but not as much as Ktracy. Sis saw "Russian object show" and was immediately intrigued. Ktracy is basically"what if four was evil". I WILL STAND BY THIS STATEMENT. Gold Ingot sucks too. But in a more cooperate fashion. Jury is out on UFO but I think Clock(host) can be categorized as sucky too. Perfume was pretty good I guess but Cat Bell was better. Daddy Long Legs sucks but in a " He's trying his best" kind of fashion. Rawest Forest by.... Um.... Somebody. I didn't think this through. The autism took hold of me!

You're all good!! I don't mind blog scrolling lol. I'm glad you like the stuff I reblog!

FUCK YOU STEVE COBS. I find it hilarious that the most hated II character it literally Steve Job's evil cornsona

I still need to watch so many object shows..... and perhaps Clock can be considered sucky in the sense that his morals are weird and he hasn't really displayed an active care for his contestants or their safety, tho I wouldn't call him sucky personality-wise. In fact he doesn't seem to even be in control of half of his shenanigans

The Penis (Eek!) uploaded by Nicholas Cook OM. Apparently it's an unused track written by someone who might have been on the Steven Universe music team (idk who) back in 2000's. Idk tho, since the description doesn't do a great job of clearly explaining

#ask #song rec

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obsidiancreates · 1 year

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Lol 2012 Raph just ripping that Kraang's robotic guts out and '87 Raph can't even be assed to watch. He's just vibing with his magic pizza, man. I love him.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO '87 MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OH GOOD THEY SAVED HIM

AYYYYYY WE BACK TO 2D no they need to stop having '87 Raph and 2012 Donnie talk to each other at all I'm sorry it's just odd

2D 2012 KRAANG WHOO

PRIMARY TURTLE REALITY?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? PLEASE TELL ME THEY GO TO ONE OF THE DARK FUCKED-UP COMICS

DAMMIT IT'S JUST THE DONNIES BUT YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IT'S COMICSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS aw but all they did was sorta dull the colors of the boys, they didn't even make them comic-looking. I'm disappointed and also now confused about how the laws of dimension-hopping work in TMNT, do you become adherent to the appearance and physical laws of the dimension you're in or not?

HA IT'S THE GRITTY-ASS COMIC TURTLES SHIT THEY READY TO KILL OUR CARTOON BOYS HOLY CRAP STRIGHT-UP MURDER ATTEMPTS THEY'RE SO SCARY IN THIS PART

WOW WE BARELY SAW COMIC LADS

OH OH HE SAID "HENIOUS" OKAY FOR A SECOND THERE I TRULY THOUGHT '87 KRANG CALLED THEM PENIS REPTILES

yeah bitch don't show them the fucking remote, idiot Iago Krang

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT IAGO DIDN'T KNOW '87 WAS WIPING OUT WHOLE DIMENSIONS- oh hey I hate '87 Krang but that was mean, Iago.

'87 RAPH DECAPITATED THE IRMA HEAD FROM IAGO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wait now 2012 Raph is pronouncing his own name weird too

PFFFFT '87 LEO CALLED IAGO A DWEEB LOL AND YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY 2012 LEO SAID TURTLE POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Wait a fucking second I recognize the way '87 Leo jsut said "That's not good" I know that fucking voice crack is that- *googles* ... IT IS HE'S THE SAME VA AS HEATH BURNS FROM THE OG MONSTER HIGH GENERATION HOLY SHIT IT'S HEATHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT ANNOYING LITTLE BASTARD HELL YEAH PREVIOUS HYPERFIXATION CROSSOVER WITH CURRENT HYPERFIXATION WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Pfffft the Mikey's are playing hackysack with Iago I love it- AND HERE COMES 212 DONNIE WITH HIS ODD ADORATION OF USING HIS BO AS A BAT BABEY AND '87 WITH THE PORTAL TAKEDOWN WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oh shit he sent him to the comic dimension. Oh Iago is so very dead.

WHICH FUCKING ROB PAULSEN TURTLE SPOKE YOU CAN'T JUST NOT SHOW ME WHICH ONE SPOKE I THINK IT WAS '87 RAPH BUT MAYBE 2012 DONNIE JUST NEEDS TO CLEAR HIS THROAT YOU NEED TO SHOW ME

YAY THE LEOS THANKING EACH OTHER

AWWWWW THEY ALL BOWED TO EACH OTHER- hey why's this music so... Snapcube Sonic '06 Dub-esque

YAY AN '87 ENDING SCE- the scene from the previous season where they sent the Mutagen Worm into '87? Wait what? MORE TIME TRAVEL SHIT

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT SLICED OUT OF- OH SHIT I FORGOT TIGERCLAW WAS INSIDE OF THAT THING OH GOD- IT ENDS ON THEM LEAPING AT TIGERCLAW?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! IF HE HRUTS MY '87 BOYS I'LL SHAVE OFF EVERY SINGLE FUR HE HAS INCLUDING HIS WHISKERS AND THEN LOCK HIM IN A ROOM WITH RISE SPLINTER WHOM I'LL TELL TO TELL LOU JITSU REJECTED SCRIPT STORIES AND TIGERCLAW WILL HAVE TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO HIS ONW VOICE LAMENT ABOUT HOW THE LOU JITSU IN SPACE MOVIE NEVER GOT MADE OR WHATEVER

MY '87 BOYS BETTER BE ABLE TO WHOOP HIS SORRY ASS

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #sid blogs live

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