#the people at school who DO know i'm chinese sure knew i was chinese when they were saying shit like ''china virus'' to me

[shimenchus]

when nonbinary people try to trip biracials into their nonsense by being like "we're like you! we're neither one or the other! we don't belong anywhere and everyone disrespects us too!" like

#i been seeing it a lot on twitter #enbies trying to fight with biracial women by saying we share the same struggles and oppression #so biracials need to support enbies #like nah #you chose that life girl leave us out of it lol #i had a girl at school last year explain to me that her *~lack of gender~* was comparable to me being blasian because and i quote #''you're not black or asian which means you have no race'' #like dang girl that's crazy because people who don't know i'm half chinese treat me like i'm black and #the people at school who DO know i'm chinese sure knew i was chinese when they were saying shit like ''china virus'' to me #what i'm trying to say is enbies be wilding #/rambling

[csuitebitches]

Hello~

I hope you're doing well!

May I ask you a few pieces of advice, please? Reading through your blog, I've discovered that you're Asian with Asian ancestry, and after some thoughts I've come to the conclusion you're the best person to ask. I'm Slavic woman (Eastern European) married to an Asian man (Chinese), exactly how you described, in Asia it's more a marriage between two families, meanwhile me and my husband married for love. In fact, his parents "consented" to our union, only because 1) I'm a good-looking woman 2) he was so stubborn in his feelings and argued whenever someone had something bad to say 3) I'm respectful, accommodating, and listen to my husband 4) good at cleaning, it's important to his father since he's traditional.

But sometimes, drama happens, mostly from his mother-in-law (his father's second wife), always manipulating and saying stuff as, it was better if he married a wealthy Chinese woman, someone who's good at running a business etc.

How can I stand up for myself or just manage these kinds of situations? The only solution seems to be to just take the risk, and do business, so they could finally stop finding faults. Furthermore they don't know, but I come from a wealthy family, but got disinherited by my mother for saying no to an arranged marriage.

Thank you in advance for your time, help and insight, I'm really grateful. Have a wonderful day and take care of yourself!

Hi there love. I’m sorry to read this. Asian families can truly be both a boon and a curse.

the reality is that your in laws will have an issue regardless of what you do. You could start a business, they could still have 10 horrible things to say to you. You could choose to look after your husband and your home, and they’ll still say awful things to you.

here’s what you should do in my opinion. And this advice comes straight from my mother.

my mother came from a middle class family. My father is a self made man, who made a fortune. They had an arranged marriage. My grandmother (my father’s mother) was really awful to my mother. She wouldn’t even let her touch the cutlery in the house. She had a problem with everything my mother did - with the way she raised her kids, what her career was, everything. She would bitch about my mother in front of us kids, she would say nasty things to my extended family. She told my maternal grandmother (my mum’s mum) that she was sure that if she was on her deathbed, my mother would never care for her. Maternal grandmother was SHOCKED and snapped and told her that her daughter was raised with better values.

my grandfather on the other hand, loves loves loves my mother, as though she was his own daughter. Praises her everywhere he goes. But that’s beside the point.

here’s what my mother learned.

She cannot control her mother in law. MIL is stubborn, ruthless, cunning. It all boils down to one thing - insecurity. Insecurity of never being good enough, smart enough, never was able to control my father (he left home because issues with her), and my father gave my mother the attention she deserved.

MIL was very possessive of my father. Asian Mums 90% of the time have a weird incest relationship with their sons. They cannot let their sons be happy with anyone. Your husband seems like a great guy, standing up for his wife. The support may not heal your hurt, but I’m sure it does a lot of good by having him on your side.

regardless of what she did, she knew she would be criticised anyway. So she did what she liked. She was a stay at home mom till I went to school, then she got two masters degrees, got herself involved in a business, has her own clients, has her own name. Even when she became successful, MIL still bitched about her. But you know what else happened? People began coming up to my grandparents and telling them what a wonderful person my mother is. MIL obviously couldn’t bear the criticism but FIL loved it and cherished her even more. She won her FIL’s respect. To this day he sings her praises even to me.

some fights are not worth it. MIL would sometimes antagonise her over small things, just to provoke her. My mother would simply stay calm. Eventually even the extended family realised that my mother had gone through a lot.

she remained emotionally detached with MIL, but she took care of her when she had cancer. She looked after her, proving MIL’s words (“she’ll never take care of me on my deathbed) absolutely wrong. And she did that out of kindness. She did that because SHE was a nice person, not because MIL deserved it.

do what your heart wants to do. The more you live life to gain approval from someone else - someone who may never give it to you - your life will be miserable. The only way to fight these horrible MILs is by standing up straight, being decisive, being able to say no and hold your ground. She has to respect you as her DIL, regardless of what you do. You will not earn her respect by trying to be someone you’re not.

If your FIL is more accepting towards than her - Build a relationship with the FIL. Forget about the MIL, she’s going to be jealous and awful, and I highly doubt such women ever change. Half the time, they behave in this way because that’s how THEIR MIL’s treated them. MIL’s MIL treated her awfully as well - the former was scared shitless of the latter. She repeated the same pattern with my mother, but my mum was too strong to let MIL bring her down.

If you want to be on good terms with your in laws, focus on the father. Be the daughter he never had (even if he has daughters). But do it because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.

Such women are simply insecure. Insecure to a point where they must hurt other women because it genuinely gives them joy. Do not let her words affect you whatsoever. And do not live your life by her terms. Focus on being a good person to yourself and your husband.

#Q/a #asian marriages

[profound-imagination]

Opposites - Xavier Thorpe.

A/N - Apparently I just write Angst when it comes to Xavier.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"I miss you, tiny."

Beaming at the text you'd just received from your boyfriend who isn't your boyfriend but kinda is your boyfriend you quickly typed out a reply.

"I miss you too, lanky."

"Who's got you grinning at your phone?" Your mother teased from the other side of the breakfast table. "Is it the mysterious boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes at her. "He's not my boyfriend, Mom. Xavier and I are just-" She cut you off. "-Just friends, I know, I know." She studied you from across the table for a couple of minutes before she said. "You should invite him to dinner, we can order pizza or Chinese food?" You let out a small gasp. "Really?" She nodded. "Really. When is he allowed to leave the school grounds? Weekends? How about Friday night?" This is why you loved your mom, having you young she knew how judgemental other people could be, how horrible they could be and she'd never judged Xavier for being an Outcast, for going to Nevermore. They'd met once. When he ended up in the hospital where she works after Tyler Galpin and his friends beat the shit out of him, it was when you'd first met him as well.

"Mom!" She turned away from her colleague instantly hearing the panic in your voice as you all but fell through the doors of the ER, trying your best to support the tall boy's weight. "Honey, what happened?!" She asked, rushing towards the two of you. "Who is this?" She added as she supported his other side, leading the two of you towards a room. "I don't know his name, I was reading, he was painting a beautiful mural across the road when Tyler Galpin and his friends jumped him and defaced the mural." Your mom huffed, never a fan of bullies and helped you sit the boy down on the bed and started gathering the supplies she would need to clean his wounds, one or two of them you were sure would need stitches. The boy coughed and then croaked out his name. "Xavier." Both you and your mom stopped and turned to look at him, not sure he'd even spoken at all. "My name is Xavier." He croaked again. "Y/N, go and get him some water." She'd slipped into nurse mode and you weren't going to argue. "Xavier honey, can you tell me your last name and your birthday?" She asked as you left. When you'd returned she'd wiped most of the blood from his face but as predicted, he needed stitches. He was eyeing the needle of the anesthetic she was going to give him nervously so you sat yourself down next to him and asked him any questions you could think of to distract him. "Do you think aliens exist?" You asked as you handed him the bottle of water. Your mom quirked an eyebrow at you from his other side and you shrugged in response. "I go to Nevermore, I don't think there's much that doesn't exist." He answered. "Is it really as creepy there as everyone says?" "Y/N!" Your mom scolded you. He let out a tiny laugh that caused him pain, you could tell from the wince. "Does your side hurt, Xavier?" Your mom asked and he nodded. "Okay honey, let's get you stitched up and down to x-ray to see if there's any broken ribs." You sat with him the whole time and then waited with him for Principal Weems to show up. "You helped me. Why?" His question took you by surprise. "It was the right thing to do." You'd told him. "I'm an Outcast, most people wouldn't." You shrugged. "So what? We might be different but that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated any differently to me." He gave you a small smile. "You're alright for a Normie." You laughed. "I should hope so, I lost my copy of Lord of The Ring's throwing it at Tyler's head trying to get him off you." He snorted a small laugh. "You're a nerd too! Even better!" When you got home that night, you had a message request on Instagram and the pair of you began a budding friendship.

"Alright, I gotta go to work, invite Xavier, love you!" Your mom said as she kissed the top of your head and left to go to work.

"Xav!! Guess what?!" You'd text him as soon as she'd left and it struck you as odd that he hadn't replied straight away like he usually does, you busied yourself with getting ready for school and headed out the door. It was lunchtime when he finally replied.

"Y/N/N!! What?" Can a text message sound off? Is that a thing? Because his did, but you shook it off and replied.

"Mom's invited you for dinner on Friday, either pizza or Chinese food, you game?" Again, there was no instant reply and when it did come after dinner it was one word.

"Sure."

Something had been off with Xavier and you couldn't quite put your finger on what it was. But today was Wednesday. Wednesday meant coffee at the Weathervane after school and Xavier's therapy session. As usual you'd make your way there straight after school and start on your homework while you waited for him. You heard the bell above the door go and scribbled your final answers to your homework, having sat in your usual booth you knew he'd know where to find you so you didn't look up straight away, when you did, your heart sank a little. Xavier was sitting on the other side of the coffeeshop with someone you'd never seen, a girl you'd never seen, two identical black plaits and bangs covering her face. He looked enthralled with her. "Ooooh, tough break Y/N, your weirdo boyfriends ditched you." You fought back the lump in your throat. "Fuck off, Lucas." The boy laughed loudly at you as you were trying to pack your things away as quickly as you could, and it drew Xavier's attention to you. Not wanting to meet his eyes you scrambled up and in a rush to leave you fell over your own feet and crashed right into Tyler, who was carrying a tray of hot drinks that ended up all down your front. "Y/N!" Xavier was on his feet, you were mortified. You held a hand up to him to stop him coming any closer. "I'm fine! Go back to…" "Wednesday." The girl introduced herself. Wednesday, the girl you'd heard plenty about, the girl Xavier had rearranged plans with you more than once for. You forced a smile, you were pleased he was making friends you told yourself. "Well it's nice to meet you on this fine Wednesday, Wednesday!" You chirped awkwardly and Xavier had definitely noticed it. "I have to go!" And you turned and ran like a coward.

"Mom! Don't laugh at me! It was mortifying!" She continued to laugh. "I'm sorry baby, I can just picture it!" You huffed and dug your spoon back into the tub of ice-cream you'd been drowning yourself in, ignoring the constant stream of texts you'd been receiving since you got home. "So you do like him then? More than just a friend?" She asked gently. "Well, yeah, I thought we liked each other." She placed her hand on yours gently. "Well, have the two of you ever spoken about that?" You shook your head. "I just thought it was a thing, that we were a thing." She let out a small sigh. "Then baby, he's not really done anything wrong. I know you don't want to hear it but if you've never told him how you feel about him and you've never talked about being a thing, then…" she trailed off as your phone went off again. "But it's Wednesday. We always meet on Wednesday's" She smiled at you. "She's new to the school and town, maybe he was just being nice and showing her around, sweetie, maybe read some of his messages before we panic and uninvite him from dinner and curse his name, yeah?" You nodded at her as you got up from the table and dragged yourself upstairs. It wasn't until you were in your pyjamas and curled into your bed that you looked at your phone.

1 Missed Call - Xavier Thorpe

"Are you okay?"

"Y/N?"

"Talk to me."

2 Missed Calls - Xavier Thorpe

"It's nice to meet you on this fine Wednesday, Wednesday?"

"What was that about?"

"Seriously, Y/N, are you okay?"

"Please don't ignore me."

3 Missed Calls - Xavier Thorpe

"Okay, you're mad, I get it, Wednesday is our day where we hang out."

"Y/N, come on."

"I need to know if you're okay."

"I'll climb through your window, I swear to god, Y/N"

4 Missed Calls - Xavier Thorpe

"Please Tiny, I'm sorry."

The last message nearly broke you, Tiny. Your heart had cracked every time he'd called you by your name in his messages. You didn't reply, you couldn't, what could you say without sounding childish. He never climbed through your window.

You woke up feeling groggy, your eyes were sore and your head was swimming. You looked at your phone to see the texts had continued into the night, but he had stopped trying to call. As you showered and got ready for school you decided you'd at least text him back. Shouldering your backpack and putting your headphones in as you walked out of your house, your Mom long gone as she was on the early shift, you selected the playlist Xavier and you had made during one of your Wednesday's at the Weathervane and clicked play, because you were a sucker for pain.

"Sorry I fell asleep. I'm fine. See you Friday if you still want to come for dinner. You don't have to, it's cool, no worries." This time the reply was instant.

"Don't do that to me! People are dying, Y/N! I've been worried sick! Of course I'm still coming for dinner."

"Could've climbed through the window, couldn't have been that worried. See you Friday." You knew it was a low blow, but it momentarily made you feel better. There was no reply.

The remainder of Thursday and Friday had been horrific. Constant teasing from Lucas and his friends about Xavier and how he'd ditched you. Barely any words said between you and Xavier and a constant anxiety growing about seeing him tonight. You'd tried to reach out but again there was no reply.

"Pizza or Chinese, what are you feeling for tonight? Really looking forward to seeing you!"

"If you still want to come, that is?"

"It's okay if you don't, I understand. Things have been weird between us lately."

"Just let me know."

Which led you here, pacing in your living room, anxiously checking your phone and chewing your nails. "Honey, I'm sure he'll be here." Your Mom tried to reassure you, but there was something in the pit of your stomach telling you that she was wrong.

4:30PM - "What time do you think you'll get here? Do you want me to meet you in town and we can walk here together?"

5:15PM - 1 Call to Xavier Thorpe (Missed)

6:00PM - "Xavier?"

7:30PM - "Are you okay?"

7:45PM - 2 Calls to Xavier Thorpe (Missed)

8PM - "I guess you aren't coming."

8:45PM - 3 Missed Calls to Xavier Thorpe (Missed)

9PM - "I've told Mom to eat, she said she's sorry you couldn't make it and that you're welcome anytime."

10:30PM - "I really hope you're okay. I won't lie. I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you ditched me on Wednesday for Wednesday. I'm hurt that you didn't come tonight. I'm hurt that I'm hurt. I'm hurt that I'm hurt because of you. I'm sorry for how I acted on Wednesday and for what I said on Thursday morning. I miss you, Xav."

He didn't reply.

#wendnesday addams #wednesday netflix #wednesday #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x reader

[stargazeraldroth]

Dunno about you but i think that Ink's etchnicity is one of the most coolest aspects to his character.

As long as i'm aware, Ink is coded as franco-sino-japanese (french, chinese and japanese; he's pretty mixed-),because of his inspirations etc.... But! he's designed as mainly asian-looking in his design and overall character.

SO. how about a narrative where people don't believe he's french due to his apperance? (Basing myself over how some irl react to that same information). I think that would cause a lot of insecurity to him, maybe even causing him to feel distant from his creator...

Anyways, i'm wackas bananas right now--

Ink has Chinese inspiration in his design? I didn't know that. I only knew about the Japanese and French parts. We love a mixed king.

I've read about people having this kind of problem when it comes to telling others about their heritage (is that an appropriate word to use?), so I think it's definitely reasonable and realistic to think of something similar happening to Ink. But when you talk about his Creator, do you mean, like, his actual creator (Comyet) or his creator in terms of, like, the one who abandoned his AU? Just curious, I'm not sure how to include that... is Comyet French? I think you're talking about Comyet, but I don't know much about Comyet aside from the fact that they're Ink's creator tbh.

And since you said this was coming from experiences, though I have not experienced it myself, I do know that there are people who will hear someone say they have some European heritage or something and go "You're ashamed of your ethnicity, aren't you?" I have heard of this, I heard it back in high school, and it was... an eye-opening discovery, to say the least. I don't know if I've recovered mentally, but it was like a "Huh. So that happened" moment. Again, it wasn't directed at me, it was just something I happened to witness. And it wasn't with that exact wording, but I get the feeling that's what they were implying.

Anyway, uh! Back to the topic at hand. Ink doesn't really get why people don't believe him when he says he has French in him, it's not like it's impossible or something that would (or should) be hard to believe. He's mixed, he's Eurasian. And he's comfortable with his identity, but when people start doubting him and kinda have this... solely Asian identity (IDK WHAT WORDS TO USE I DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF I'M SORRY) for him, he does start getting self-conscious about his identity. I've read about it happening a lot with Hispanic people, especially if they're on the lighter side compared to some of their family members, so I think this could definitely apply to Ink in this situation. Maybe he would start adapting a kind of "Am I allowed to?" mentality when it comes to identifying with his French heritage, since he's kinda being pushed into this corner of going by his Asian heritage.

I... have zero idea where I'm going with this

#anonymous asks #character headcanons #ink sans

[sendaidivision]

Ryūzō's Thoughts on Meguro Division

Saji Buranka

"Another student of mine is entering the D.R.B.?" Ryūzō looks at the high school student's photo and sighs. "I've lost track of how many students that makes thus far. It was already bad enough knowing I was facing 'one'. Now I have up to six or more to deal with." The English professor sighs once more, and removes his glasses, rubbing the insides of his eyes, as he feels exhausted. He puts them back on a couple of seconds later.

"Saji is... he's not a 'bad' student, but he isn't exactly a 'good' one either. The last couple of years, he's had a bad habit of cutting school and classes. He never explained why, but I can tell by the morbid look in his eyes that he's had some trouble over the last few years. That, plus his tendency to get into fights doesn't exactly help matters. I've tried to ask him exactly what is wrong, but he always never gives me straight answers, always saying things like, 'It's nothing you can help me with,' or 'Just a lot on my mind.' I won't pretend to understand his issues, but I hope he knows he can come to me or any of the other teachers for help, be it in or out of school."

Vito Koi

Ryūzō looks at the photo of the tattooist, shocked. He stays like that for a couple of seconds, but he sighs, rubbing his forehead. "I, unfortunately, know this young man. I... was hired to assassinate the man he was working for, Ryuu Mafuyu. The Organization received an offer to have this man killed in exchange for a large cash reward. I was the one put in charge of having him killed. I followed Mafuyu for over a week, trying to make sure I got his schedule completely memorized before striking. Unfortunately, I drastically underestimated the strength and dedication of the men he hired. They were all willing to die for this man. And none more so than this man right here, Vito Koi.

"He was there with two other women: one who may or may not have hailed from China, and... 'Black Dahlia', herself. Now, I'm no stranger to fighting when the odds aren't on my side. That's what I've been doing all my life, after all. If it's one person I'm facing, then no problem. Two people at once? A little harder, but still no reason to worry. Three people? If I had prior knowledge and time to plan, then almost assuredly I can succeed. But the thing about being an assassin is that we are only dangerous when we have the element of surprise on our side. If we lose that, we are only as dangerous as our reputation and skills allow us to be. When we accept a job, we go in prepared for a straight-up fight, but we try our utmost to not get into them. That's how I approached every job, at any rate.

"Anyway, Vito-san and his associate were tough, but nothing I couldn't handle. It was 'Black Dahlia' that was the immediate problem. As I stated on her profile, she was the first woman to make me sweat. It was fortunate that the contract on Mafuyu was canceled, as I don't know if I could have continued. Even if I had managed to somehow defeat Dahlia, I'd still have had Mafuyu's two bodyguards to contend with. …I wonder if this is what they call a 'Pyrrhic victory'...

"Later on, I'd heard that Mafuyu had been assassinated, which shocked me. The only person I thought could have done that was 'Black Dahlia'. But to my surprise, it wasn't her, but Vito who was accused of assassinating Mafuyu. I knew that was a lie fabricated by Chuohku. A man as loyal as him would not stoop so low as to kill his own employer. That other bodyguard, the Chinese woman, though... I could definitely see her doing something like this."

Yeong "Cain" Hajoon

"I think I've heard of him from Kotono when she shoved a magazine with his picture on the cover in my face. I've also heard several of my female students speaking about him. A Korean male model... hmm. Well whatever makes him happy, I suppose."

DOG STREET CLUB

"I must admit, as a dog-lover, the name of this team pleases me. I don't know of any streets around here named 'Dog Street', though. Besides that, it's extremely disheartening to see that another student of mine is leading a team into the D.R.B. Why, I don't know. ...I only hope that Saji is not using this tournament as an excuse to do something dangerous to himself. I know he is suffering right now, but he must know that whatever he has planned, it is only a temporary fix. It will not help him in the long run. I sincerely hope he realizes that."

#hypmic oc #hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #kiya kara #sendai division #ryūzō mizutori #meguro division #dog street club #saji buranka #vito koi #yeong hajoon

[tullium]

No, because I'm actually pissed about this shit.

I'm (sadly) an American citizen, which means that throughout my kindergarten (and possibly first and second, but certainly not third, fourth, and all after) year, every morning, we would do the Pledge of Allegiance. This was very normal for me in my early school years, except some very odd things I just learned today.

I'm currently being online schooled, I was in my history class and the topic of religion in schools came up. From what we were told, most private school are allowed to do religious practices, such as praying, public schools are not. It then got me thinking, if public schools aren't allowed to do religious practices, why is God even mentioned in the Pledge of Allegiance?

I never even remembered the damn thing until today, and it was so random. I was curious though, so I asked my teacher. She told us that the Pledge of Allegiance never had anything to do with God up until it was added in during The Red Scare. She even said that yes, most if not all, schools do the Pledge, but they allow people to not participate, whether it was because of the God part or not...

We were never allowed to not participate in the Pledge of Allegiance.

It got me thinking deeper. How many people have to stand and do that shit who are extremely uncomfortable with it? In fact, I had a friend in kindergarten who had recently came in from China, none of us understood religion at all at the time sure, but that means none of us were aligned by a religion, unless we were forced into church by parents. Besides, this friend was Chinese, why should she have to do the Pledge, it's not her native home and she was too young to fully understand that she even moved so far from home.

What about my Native American friend? Sure, I knew her when we didn't do the Pledge, but if she was moving public schools due to doster families, she surely would have done them at some point. Why should she have had to do it? She didn't know anything of God as far as I'm aware, not to mention that she's Native American, she has no reason to respect this place, because whites took the land from the Native Americans. So, was she too forced to participate?

The mere thought of this kind of things feels unconstitutional, to be honest. After all, that's forcing a belief unto an knowing victim who's too young to even understand half the words in the Pledge and is even removing free will, because if a kid doesn't want to participate, they shouldn't have too, but my school didn't give us a choice... it just feels very, very wrong.

#america #usa #united states #united states of america #north america #pledge of allegiance #school #public school

[mslizsteele-stories]

Rosé

☾︎✯☽︎

The club was already packed by the time my shift started. I could feel the presence of the loud music and bass pass through me like a ghost taking possession of its host. The neon lights were moving, flashing and zipping around and across the place in a frenzy. People were dancing, grinding against each other and making out while others already crowded the bar waiting for their drinks and to be attended to.

Show time.

"Hi, welcome to The Coup d'Etat. What can I do for you?" I smiled at the group of ladies waiting at the bar.

"Hi, can you open up a bar tab for us?" one of them, a brunette, asked, nodding towards her friends, who were drooling at the sight of me - nothing new.

"Sure. Will you be paying in cash or card?"

"Cash, we're splitting the bill."

"Okay, what would you like for your tab?"

"Soju will be fine. Thanks."

I took out a tray and some glasses before striding over to the fridge to collect the soju. After filling the bucket with ice, and placing the bottles of soju inside, I placed the bucket into the tray and pushed it toward the customers. "Here you go. Let me know when you want to close your tab."

"Sure thing."

They left for their booth, but not before one of them winked at me.

As I was about to move on to the next batch of customers, I bumped into a blonde woman who, from the looks of it, was in a rush to get to wherever she wanted to go.

"I'm so sorry." She apologized with a bow until she had a good look at me. "Hey, you must be the new guy GD told me about. The guy I'm supposed to monitor during my shift."

I quirked an eyebrow, "Sounds like your boss doesn't trust me."

She waved her hand, "He does that to every new employee. Heck! He did that to me when I first started working here. I'm Chaeyoung, by the way." She stuck out her hand towards me.

I shook her hand. "Ollie."

"Well, Ollie. Normally, I would train you on what to do and how to handle the POS system, but it seems like you know your way around it. So, I'll serve the tables while you handle things here at the bar. Sound good?"

"Sure thing."

The rest of the evening was pretty much uneventful aside from tending to the customers. Chaeyoung was anywhere and everywhere, taking orders, clearing the tables, and checking on the customers while also helping me at the bar when need be. I was pretty much accustomed to the nightlife in the club; watching people dance and have the time of their life, the music, the lights (and thank God the ventilation in the club was good).

"You okay there?" I asked the blonde who was leaning against the bar and groaned.

"I'm just glad that I can rest for a bit." She said. "Why do the weekends always be so damn busy?"

"Well, a lot of people like to spend their weekends going to clubs and bars, especially college and university kids," I said. "Besides, more people. More tips."

She groaned again. "And the fact that I'm a broke uni kid is not doing me any favours."

"Well, I wouldn't know since I'm not a uni kid."

She looked at me confused. "Did you drop out?"

"Nope. I never went to college or university after I graduated high school. Went straight to the military and left two years later."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty."

"Holy shit!" her eyebrows flew up. "You're old."

"Hey, I'm not that old." I frowned. "Gosh. What is up with you kids and thinking thirty is old."

"That's literally the age to already be married and have kids."

"Yet your generation is already getting married and having kids at eighteen."

She opened her mouth to retort, but no sound or syllable left her mouth. I chuckled at her reaction, knowing that she knew I was right.

"Anyway!" she changed the subject. "Where are you from? You don't sound like you're here. Not to forget, you look way too exotic to be Korean."

"I'm Chinese, but I grew up in Australia."

"Oh, my God! You're an Aussie!" she squealed, switching to English with a strong Aussie accent.

I chuckled. "Yes, I'm an Aussie."

"Chris and Felix are going to be so hyped when I tell him we have another Aussie on the team."

"How many are there."

"It's just the three of us. Other foreigners work here, but either way, it's good to meet another foreigner. Us foreigner folks gotta stick together, am I right?"

I hummed, conceding with her statement.

Suddenly the music stopped, and the lights turned. My eyes found the stage where the DJ booth was. I saw smoke lurking around the stage and blending with the deep blue neon lights until a song with a fusion of moombahton and Latin trap music started playing. Eight feminine figures emerged and walked up to the stage and stood in line, four standing across from each other as though they made a path for someone.

The spotlight shined on the ninth dancer, a dark-haired woman whose hair was just above her shoulders and her bangs covering her forehead. She wore a white crop top with crystal tinsels along with a pair of denim shorts with a glitter belt around her waist and a pair of white glitter knee-high combat boots.

My eyes were focused on her as she walked up to the centre of the stage, and her dancers broke their formation. The way her body movement was in synch with the rhythm of the song. The expressions she made while she danced. Everyone's attention was on her and her alone.

"That's Lisa." Chaeyoung's voice broke me out of whatever spelt that woman had put me under.

I looked at her.

"The girl you're staring at." She clarified. "Her name is Lisa. She's one of the dancers here, and people pay a lot of money to see her perform, let alone give them a private performance in one of our VIP lounges. She's pretty good, ain't she?"

I turned my gaze back to the dancer. "I'm no dance guru since I can't dance to save my life, but she's pretty good, I guess."

"Oof! Don't say that in her presence, though. She will make sure you'll change that statement from pretty good to pretty amazing." She playfully bumped her shoulder against mine. "But she's pretty chill when she's off stage. A little mischievous but pretty chill."

I hummed, making no comment. Not that I needed to anyway. I did consider Chaeyoung's comment about this girl, but I decided to push it aside and not dwell much on it. It wasn't like I was going to see her outside of work, let alone talk to her. It was probably better that way.

"Well, break time is over." Chaeyoung stretched. "Those tables aren't going to serve themselves."

"Good luck," I said as she left the bar.

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#blackpink blink #graphic design #wattpad #explict #ao3 fanfic #romance #fanfiction #wattpadblackpink blink explictkpop multistan male ocmale original character lalisa manobanlisa blackpink blackpink in your area #blackpink lisa archive of our own ao3 fanfic #kpop fanfic #lisa manoban #male original character #male oc #blackpink in your area #lisa #lisa x oc

[bellarose-jasmine]

#TiredoftheRiches pt.1

today i saw one of my classmate, i don't like her due to pass happenings getting married. i didn't know at first until tiny bro mentioned it. and then i just get obssed with the updates, seeing her story and the thai guy's story. even his other friends too. i just can't stop myself. i have mixed feelings the entire day, up down up down. even though i don't know 100% accurate truth about her, I just really really need an outing. honestly at first in the beginning of mba, i was quite okay with her and she seems friendly, everyone was, honest. but that betrayal happen, and after i knew the truth that she was the main provocator that convinced my friend to leave me, i had a personal grudge against her, and her friends too. Hung out with her a few times, but since we were from two different countries that speaks entirely different language, i can;t even join in the conversation, nor does she bother to talk to me either. i feel just, you know that i am extremely sensitive when it comes to friends and friendship since finding friends these days is tough. so when i felt ignored, alone in the crowd of that group of friends, it maybe trigger the trauma i used to have back in high school, i just felt unappreciated once again. Honestly I've had bad experiences with language in SG especially if i meet Chinese people who could barely speak English. Those days when i was a trainee, an intern, people insulted me literally behind my back using mandarin, over and over that it just scares me a lot. that is beside the perception that Indonesians are slow and all that. i felt helpless at the time. My mandarin was good during my time in school, but that's studying. my conversational level was quite low honestly. i just remember some things for the test and that's it. so the fact that I'm outcasted for not being able to speak mandarin, being ignored, and just have a hard time getting accepted nor being accepted, it triggers a lot of things. which is why i hated her to the guts. i hate her.

She is that typical queen bee of the school. all she posts is about her looking cute and pretty, yes i admit that she is but still, it just get so obvious of what type of person is she. she knows she could get whatever she wants with the pretty privilege. and honestly i don't think she came from a rich family. I'm pretty much skeptical of the luxury item she has, wherever it is definitely don't come from her own money (from working) or parents money. that I'm quite sure. But she just managed to make herself look luxurious. i do envy tho, girls like her, white smooth skin, tiny petite body, and a beautiful face. you really can fool anyone into thinking that you're rich. but where the money comes from is quite questionable tho, sine i hear a lot of them are aiming for sugar daddies. though i hear the one she marries has quite the age gap with her, but lucky tho, the guy might be blindly in love with her, and she is the type of queen who choose a rich guy that would do anything for her. and she succeeded.

honestly thought she's gonna have a very luxurious wedding since the guy is wealthy (heard they might move to new Zealand). she did choose an expensive hotel but the place where they had the wedding ceremony is quite cheap. decorations also not so much, only invited like 24 ppl. maybe they just wanted a private wedding? i guess. not even a wedding gown on sight. its just pretty much casual, unlike the Indonesian weddings i normally see.

seeing her and some other girl who is quite pretty, its so nice being them, wether they come from a rich family or pretend to. by being pretty, get the quite right guy or just guys you can smooch off the money from, willingly buying you jeweleries even when you just dated (not even a fiance or boyfriend yet), luxury brand items (bags, perfumes, shoes), bringing you to trips and you don't need to pay a cent for it, like living everything for free while enjoying your life. a street free life where you don't need to think about money since others are willing to think twice as hard for you. the privilege of pretty girls, or parents that willingly spoil you with the riches.

[purplesurveys]

1725

Who was the last person you recall dreaming about? Can't keep asking me about my dreams, dude. I always forget them as soon as I wake up haha.

I see. And do your dreams ever have random people in them? They do. I just never ever remember who shows up.

What was the last spicy food you ate? Do you eat a lot of spicy food? I had kimchi with my samgyupsal. Yeah, I have spicy food whenever I can – they're my favorite.

When was the last time you admired some flowers? What kind/color were they? I'm not sure, I'm not really the type to stop and stare at flowers.

What were you doing when 4PM last came around? I was stuck in a meeting that was running way longer than it should have and also fighting the urge to doze off during it.

Do you own anything that is sparkly or has glitter on it? No but I recently saw a belt bag at Adidas that's entirely bedazzled and IN PINK. I want it so bad hahaha. Maybe if I earned a little bit more I wouldn't think twice about splurging on it, but for now I'll be fine staring at it from a distance. It's this one by the way:

Which streaming services do you use? How long have you been using them for? YouTube (does that count?), Spotify, Netflix, Disney+. I've had Spotify since high school, Netflix since college, and I bought subscriptions to YouTube Premium and Disney+ when I got a job.

Are you in the process of watching or re-watching a series at the moment? I started a Korean drama called DP over the weekend and can't wait to bulldoze my way through the rest of it this coming weekend.

If so, how many seasons does it have? And what season are you currently on? It has two seasons, with the second one having just come out a couple of weeks ago which is why it got thrust back into the spotlight. I'm only on the fourth episode of the first season.

To whom did you last send an email? Do you check your emails daily? Somebody from work. I mean I'm on Gmail for 8 hours straight from Monday to Friday because email = life in my line of work; but as for my personal emails I'd check my inbox at least once a week.

What was the last item of yours that you misplaced? Did you find it? My box of calling cards. I never did find it but I decided not to make a fuss out of it anymore as those cards are super outdated anyway. I'm still titled as an associate on them when I've already been promoted twice since then haha.

What was the last thing you ate, that you considered a treat/luxury? Chinese food. Celeste and I had mapo tofu, fried chicken, fried rice, and xiaolongbao at this nice and fancy-ish Chinese restaurant last Monday; generally speaking, my family and I only occasionally have Chinese spreads because they're typically so grand, and, because it's served family-style, always come out super expensive.

I see. How often do you typically eat such things? With my family, only once or twice a year.

Do you have any idea what you’re going to have for dinner tomorrow evening? Not yet.

What type of cake did you have for your last birthday, if any? I had friends surprise me with a chocolate fudge cake and a black sesame cake during my 25th birthday back in April.

When was the last time you asked for someone’s advice or opinion? Earlier today; I'm constantly asking for a second opinion from my boss at work.

Has anyone you know got a new pet recently? Celeste.

^If so, what kind? And what name did they choose? It's a new dog, but my memory's a bit hazy on the breed and name.

Who was the last person you knew had a baby? How long ago was that? I had two classmates from high school who had babies just like two weeks apart from one another. They gave birth around April or May.

And is anyone you know expecting a baby anytime soon? As far as I know, no.

What was the last fundraising event that you took part in? Can't really remember as I don't join a lot of those.

How old were you 10 years ago? Who were your closest friends at that point? I was 15. In 2013, my best friends were Angela, Carley, and my ex.

^Do you still speak to any of them? Only Angela remains in my life.

Okay, I’ll finish with something positive. Is there anything that you’re looking forward to, in the near future? New opportunities and doors to open. And seeing Se So Neon!!!

[the-karasu-no-one-knows]

Tired.

Sometimes, you have those nights, or even days, where the expenditure of energy is so great that you physically and mentally feel as if you died and are coming back to life with a brain and body that feels like it's been hit by an asteroid. Fuck the Mack truck because that would be easier to contend with. This...is an asteroid.

Ugh.

I took off of work today. I just couldn't after last night. I'm just focused on laundry and listening to my usual YouTube channels streaming and causing me to laugh here and there. Camelot331 pleases my need for humor as well as the need for relaxation for the alters. He's a sweet 32 year old guy from Alabama. Reminds me of my guy friends back in Boarding School. Guys just seem to take things less seriously and they've always valued and enjoyed my lax disposition on nearly everything. I do miss the NN's from my teens.

My best friend Wendy always told me that I hung out with some of the most gorgeous guys on the Island. Heh. I guess I didn't really pay attention to most of that...but wait...I think I kinda did but it wasn't the highlight of my friendships with them. I've been thinking a lot about Jason, Jonas and Jeremy. I can't seem to find anything on Jonas. I didn't catch his last name, then again, he broke the rules of ethics as my counselor at Four Winds by kissing me.

I wonder how he's doing? I treated him so poorly but I was also struggling with the whole Matt situation. He knew that I was assaulted and in hiding. Jonas was patient. Matt was Chinese. Jonas was Filipino. Matt was a gang leader in Chinatown and Jonas was a wonderful man who only wanted to help me as my counselor. All my records have been destroyed. I don't exist. Jonas does only IF I could tell him that I'm alive, covered in scars but alive.

I've looked up Jeremy on Facebook. There are many with his first and last name but I don't know if he's still in Upstate New York or not. I was 17...he was 13...so a lot changes visually. I'm sure I can recognize facial features but location....I'm not necessarily a human GPS. To think he attacked Jason outside the dining hall. I was already a part of Jason's life. Sneaking notes and phone calls at the dining hall and back on our units.

I did feel awful when Jeremy attacked him. Jason seemed pretty shocked to see a 13 year old attacking him; be it he had just turrned 18 himself. I do feel awful about several people (young men) in my life. Christ. What about Jordan? Fucking Hell. My interests attracted all young men and all minors...WITH the exception of a couple who were deflowered by me. Those were NOT minors.

There are things that I would never share on a blog or within the branches that are the Internet. I have a few who do know. One is still out there. He knows so much yet I have no idea where he is with a last name I never bothered to ask of within our 3 year relationship. My 'Ikki'. My 'Sky King'.

Andrew? Am I ever going to see you or hear you again? I just want to know if you're alive. I just want to know if you're safe. I just want to know if you still....oh fuck this! Do you know that every time you enter my thoughts I think of how so many would of seen our relationship as extremely inappropriate and wrong. I think you were the main reason why I started to write a continuation of 'Leon The Professional', using myself as Matilda. You know how a future in that character was not far from who I was. One of the characters I needed to be to fulfill the needs of people who didn't care, as long as the job got done.

You were that young man. You were him! I wanted to rescue you, but at the sake of your own safety and mine? Where would we of gone? Where could I hide you? You would of had to of be hidden by me because you couldn't parade around with me in the public eye. It couldn't of worked that way, as much as you wanted it to. Even as my 'Sky King', I had to be responsible as your 'Fang King'. There was no way it could of worked.

Maybe you knew it could of but I was so fucking fucked up that I didn't think I could hide you from the world. We wanted so much as well as wanting one another so much.

Why does this hurt? You're the only one that hurts but not in a way that was caused by you. Are you upset that I didn't pick you up from Durango? I'm sorry. I'm so extremely sorry Ikki. Maybe it hurts because there has never been closure. I know part of the pain comes from loving you. Loving the idea of us....long ago. All those nights we spent talking and laughing. The pain Alisha caused you yet I always brought you joy and spoiled you.

I don't think I've ever seen the image above Ikki. I can hear you in the back of my mind giggling because you know that I was never keen on affection and I would scowl just like Agito. You, of course, would smile just like that...kissing me affectionately. I know that I was grumpy and miserable at times. You also knew that I broke away from that world and I just had to figure out that I could live a life FREE of dictation. I never really didn't think too much about that world when I was spending time with you.

You always had me focus on something pleasant, but sometimes even you struggled. Your parents having you go through hypnosis and that made me so angry!! I wanted to take you away from them for brainwashing you into thinking that you were some troubled youth. I heard you on those tapes and there was nothing I could do to stop them except come to you and take you away to where they would never hurt you again. That's what you wanted...didn't you?

You didn't understand that if I did that, you would never be seen again and only by me. You knew that and you still didn't care what anyone thought. You just wanted me to rescue you. I have mission dreams Ikki. I have them at least once a week. All these fucking missions that I was assigned to do but yours would of made all other missions forgettable.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't cry right now Ikki. I'm so tired. I want to cry but I can't. I'm just too tired sometimes Ikki. Goddammit where are you?!! Why can't I find you? With all the means that I have....why can't I find you!!! Where are you? You can't find me online. I don't really exist online, unless you miraculously come across this blog and you put 2 and 2 together.

I look so much smaller there. The frustration and anger; yet you always appeared smiling and calm. You could calm me down. You knew I was hurting when I was conquering as many men as I could. You knew it was dangerous yet you didn't judge me. You knew I was fucked up and putting my life in danger, yet you didn't judge that I continued that path to overtake and consume without a conscience.

I had no help once that life ended. What was I supposed to do after two decades of being a "weapon"? Who was going to help me? Only until I was whisked away to the mountains for my only safety, you call me out of the blue to come rescue you and I FUCKING FAILED YOU! You would tell me that I never failed you but I have and maybe when I'm dead and gone, I can forgive myself. Until then...it's you and me...in my dreams and maybe....meeting up in the afterlife.

My 'Sky King'.

[mypoliticrambles]

I'm tired of America's racial types. They should be based more on physical looks and DNA structures. Asian-Americans represent a huge diversity of people, but at the very least should be two separate groups: dark western & southern Asians with no epicanthic fold, heavy brow ridge, and large nose; and then east Asians with epicanthic fold, typically low nose bridge, and smaller brow ridge. Or to express it more crudely, "Indians and Chinese may be both Asian, but they are not the same race biologically nor in some social settings".

I also feel that Jewish races are a separate ethnicity. The other white kids at my school certainly knew that I wasn't quite like them. I was a different kind of white and they sure did point it out without realizing that I was Jewish either. The only problem is that if we mark Jewish as a separate ethnicity the neo nazis will be drooling and using that information against us. But I think it's clear biologically that since Jews stayed together they developed their own group, then it should be separate. The real question is if it's separate enough to distinguish between other white races, like Irish, Scandinavian, and Italian. This I don't know. If those are subgroups of a subgroup (types of white) then maybe that could fit in and be unnecessary.

But then, people could argue that it's culturally distinct. And then it's like hispanic, but less foreign. Latin Americans are an important cultural group, but genetically most are mestizos- just indigenous mixed with Spanish. Instead of filling out a Hispanic or Not Hispanic, maybe they should just fill in White and Indigenous and we'll have separate boxes for "extinct or unknown tribe (as they're not tribally enrolled)" or maybe something else implying lack of tribal affiliation. Blacks, Asian, full Natives, whites, and others from Central/South America or with ancestors from there have to check that box. It's not about genes, it's about nationality. Culturally, most of the Spanish people other Americans deal with are mestizos, so we could just add that, too. Just add "mestizo" and throw away the not/hispanic box. Black African Americans from Africa or Australia still have to check black/African American even if culturally this isn't who we expect to check the box, especially when Oceanic options are absent for the latter. I don't see why black latin@s can't just check it too without an extra "I'm from South America" added on.

Maybe we could do away with these shitty racial terms altogether and just denote what continent or country area our genetic ancestors are from. That way we don't have to so weird about it.

And if we are going to insist on adding cultural values on it, we could also add in something for people who are raised by an ethnicity other than their own. People with step-parents of a different race, single mothers raising half-black kids who don't look like them, transracial adoptees. It's weird for someone raised hispanic to not check the hispanic check box. I mean, you're genetic parents are both white but you have a Spanish parent, an abuela, and speak Spanish. You eat authentic Spanish in your own home from passed down recipes and not at a Mexican restaurant or some cheesy nacho recipe from an English article (pun intended). So your Spanish, right? It's a cultural value anyways, not based off of race since they give it that leeway. People raised hispanic but not genetically hispanic aren't hispanic? Bullshit. Asians raised by white parents grow up with more of a white experience than an Asian one, same for African kids with white parents, adopted or half. If we're going for race, body features and genetics are important factors. If we're going for culture, than it's how one was raised is what's important.

I think the U.S racial identification check box thing I have to sign everytime I look for a job or need to visit a new doctor is just clunky and isn't really based on science nor actual cultural groups.

#race #rant

[lifviakaza]

"I'm tired, Mom."

It was 2019, my first real job, thousands of miles away from home, her last child, unmarried, left everything behind, hurt so badly, in tears but decided not to stay anyway.

"Well, go home then, Mong. Money isn't everything. I just want you to be happy. Start over here, come back home, my little darling."

I was a bookworm, a nerd. If young generations nowadays stay at home for playing online games, I stayed all day long home to read while watching our little shop. I've told you that I joined a lot of courses and organizations. One time she asked me, "Have u actually learned anything? Is it worth it?" Tho I know that she was kinda concerned about the money she and my dad spent.

She was born and raised in that little town where to dream is free but to take an action and eventually reached your crazy wild imaginations is a crime especially if you're an unmarried woman. "What else do you want? Go home, get married and take care of your parents!" tho it's none of the neighbors business really. People talk behind your back, and you're considered a Virgin Mary--which is an insult for single women passing their 25s.

"I'm so tired, Mom."

Every other time, when I have to do something just because I am an adult, just because the people around me tell me to live the 'normal' life; bachelor's is enough; marry a government employee; take care of the children at home; live happily ever after.

Where's the happily ever after? When you aren't sure what you are doing and why you're doing it.

So I escaped every time, I listened to my heart instead of other people's opinions, because truth be told, none of their comments has helped me through a single thing in my life. "Live the normal life!" isn't supposed to be that exact sentence. Can we just live "our normal life"? Because we can, well I can, personally.

I got the lowest score for my final exam in high school cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - cheating , I failed all the governmental schools I was taking cz I didn't want to be 'normal' - bribing + making rich people even richer. God knows how much I needed the free school looking at every aspect of my life at that moment, but I didn't want to be normal, I still don't.

"You went to that expensive top 3 school and you failed all these tests?! What have you learned really?"

I remember calling my mum from another city and cried afterwards cz she was in the hospital and I failed another test bcz I'm not Chinese and those ppl still judged me saying my parents had spent so so very much and the results were nothing like anyone ever expected.

I was at the very lowest bottom in my life and no one wanted to talk to me so I spent days in my room crying and it gave me a little stroke. That's when my cousin got mad and told my mum this, "Stop caring about what other people want! Who do you love? She's done her best, it's her destiny to live the " not normal" life. It's just not her destiny. There's something else, maybe more, for her."

I was taken to the hospital and my mum started talking to me again, "Well, it's okay, Mong. Let's just go to this "normal" university. We will be able to make money for this. It's ok. It's gonna be ok."

So I moved to that city and found my freedom, I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew exactly what I didn't want. Yeah, I didn't go to that university. I took a gap year, took another university entrance test the following year, moved to another city where I had no one and I started everything from scratch. And my dreams, my people, they found me, oh God I just realized all those times I was trying so hard to find what and who I wanted to be surrounded with. I forgot they were and are alive, they will find their ways to me, it's how it works. That's how I started to figure out life, it's harsh, but it's possible, always and forever possible.

"I'm exhausted, Mum."

She answered the same sentences the last time I told her that, it was 2020. But I decided not to come home that time, I stayed where I wanted to be and did what my heart had always told me to, I was so hopeless yet so ready to lose. However, life is indeed a mystery. When we surrender, we win every battle. I won and still winning and it's not and maybe will never be a normal life for me or people with similar destiny as mine. All those ups and downs, stubbornness, stupidity, rebellion, whatever, I'd never be my truest self without those uncommon characters that manifest in me deeply.

"I'm ok, Mum. But can I come home? Not that it's tiring or exhausting. I just miss your food, or maybe you."

[restlessmaknae]

hi hello beth!! it’s been a week since i dropped in my responses, but i think tumblr ate them so i’m writing them again

that’s super cool!! my brother only knows the names of one idol, and that’s jimin… whenever i have a photocard somewhere he’ll call them jimin or miss jimin so your relationship there is a lot better

as of late i’ve only used chinese to communicate with friends and family, but if i need to read smth in cbinese then it’s quite convenient. i did watch a few episodes of some chinese variety shows a few weeks ago but i think that’s it 👍

YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE ISNT ENGLISH??? i’m so shocked since your english is very very good. i’m not too good with french since i can’t really pronounce anything, so that is still impressive!! it’s always nice to have extra languages on hand.

they’re over now, so i hope they went well. now that it’s break, i do get to relax a bit more so that’s good!!

don’t worry - this response is long overdue so that’s fine 👍👍

hopefully you’re a lot better now 😟 it’s good to hear you got to spend some downtime on the weekends though!! the collab piece wowow i’ll be waiting!!!

i have indeed seen the oneus teasers!! i’m quite confused as to why the title track is called same scent but who knows…

i can’t really remember any other groups i’m waiting for other than oneus right now 😅

Oooh hi!!!

It sure did then because I haven't gotten any message from you before this one. 🥺

Oh gosh, your brother is really something. 😅 Yeah, it's definitely more fun if you have a sibling with whom you can bond over such an interest, and we're pretty similar personality-wise too, so I guess we're like two peas in a pod haha

I'm really impressed!!! Chinese seems like such a difficult language, so props to everyone who knows Chinese! It's good that you can keep it up though.

Hahaha no it's not, but thank you so much for the compliment! It means a lot to me when people compliment my English. ❤️ English has always been my favourite subject at school, and I've grown up watching a lot of Western shows, reading books in English and listening to a lot of English content because I've truly enjoyed it, so it has helped in my language learning journey. Now I can use it to watch Korean shows and interviews, so I'm really thankful that I've taken English seriously.

Oh yeah, the pronunciation in French is really tough! There are a lot of letters that you don't pronounce when it's there in a written form, so it's quite confusing. Not to mention that it seems like there are sooo many exemptions to every rule they have. 😅

Oh, congrats then! I'm glad you can rest a bit now! 🥰 When will your results be out?

Thank you so much! I'm a bit better, so things are looking up!

Yeah, I think I'll be able to finish the story in a few weeks because it's going well. I just hope that you'll enjoy it because it's a bit different from what I usually write, but I knew it when I created the collab, I merely hope it won't disappoint the readers.

Oh well, I don't know either. I guess we'll find out soon ~ I'm really excited about this comeback even though I would be more relieved if Seoho wore more clothes in the teasers. 😅

Yeah, me neither. I'm only looking forward to Choi Yoojung's solo debut for now. I wonder what kind of concept she'll have.

Now onto your next message. 🥰

@effulgentfireflies

#ask #reply #effulgentfireflies

[tim-hoe-wan]

Prior to going to college, was your friend group socially and economically diverse? If not, how did that affect you? I'm curious because my friends and I were talking about the role one's socioeconomic status plays in their life.

My private school friends told me that when they went to college or started working, they felt as if they didn't know how to talk and/or relate to people who existed outside of their social class. They said it became abundantly clear in social interactions how out of touch they were with the everyday person's experience. One friend told me that while she didn't agree, she understood why people didn't put forth the effort to diversify their social life. She said while it's ultimately more rewarding to do so, it required more effort than most people wanted to put forth.

On the flip side, I'm a WOC who grew up lower middle class, but went to private schools on scholarships. Outside of my family/family friends, almost everyone I knew my age was rich and white. When I got to college and started connecting with other people in my culture, I felt very disconnected and as if I was lacking in understanding. Private school made it so I was exposed/experienced things I couldn't afford or would have never had access to because my friends' parents were incredibly wealthy and surprisingly generous, but also created a divide I wasn't fully aware of until I had more than just rich white friends.

My friendship circle growing up was definitely composed more of people who were upper middle class and above. I did have a lot of friends who were from different social and economic backgrounds though. We’re part of the Chinese community in LA and took Chinese martial arts and philosophy there during the weekends. There were a lot of first and second generation immigrants but it’s within our culture to be unified and supportive of the Chinese community even with the socioeconomic divide. My mum encouraged us to befriend our classmates and we usually spend time after classes to play video games and watch anime together. My parents also encouraged then to visit our home every once and a while and when there were new film releases, they treat our friends. We also host the annual Chinese New Year. I would say even though I grew up with them I constantly had to learn to be sensitive and mindful. Both of my parents were from wealthy families so my experience was very different from theirs. At times I can be insensitive and wasn’t aware of my own privilege. I’m lucky though cause my mum and teachers were always very patient with us and made sure we understand our own privilege and how to better understand the struggles and experience of other Asian-Americans.

On the other side my dad also brought us to his Jewish community. Albeit we were less active and we grew up Buddhist, he still tried to bring us to the community whenever we can. It was much more ethnically diverse than the Chinese community and there was a time we were uncomfortable as practically the only Chinese there. Some of my classmates in school went there though and helped us interact with the other kids better. The community was more middle class and white, but my relationship with them improved by the team we were teenagers and we’re able to find more shared interest.

Even despite all that though, I do admit I find it easier to interact with those with the same economic background as I am and those who are Asian descent. For the former, I find that they’re less intimated and judgmental of me. For the latter, there’s a sense of solidarity and community. I do go out of my way to interact beyond the social groups I find most comfortable in though. It also feels imperative being the child of two worlds that I don’t limit myself socially.

[dreamy-dusk]

Dang my unused DeviantArt turned 9 years a few days ago. Today I went to check on my blank page to find it NOT blank and in fact full of words

Here it is plus my commentary about it:

For someone who likes anonymity I sure put a lot of my info online

"Artist // Student // Varied"

My Bio

I probably won't do much here but when I do it may take VERY long. IDK what to do now. My favorite word (a fake word) would be YOLO. But not that type of YOLO. The YOLO that means You Obviously Love Oreos. I like food more than I like people but that doesn't mean I hate making friends.

I never knew such a me existed lol

I talk a lot and I'm using my phone to type this. AT is my favorite show.

adventure time is AT (this is a note to myself)

I'm as single as a Pringle but when I think about that Pringles aren't single they get laid a lot. Don't know what else to type other than I'm very secretive and I'm (obviously) a

[insert my zodiac sign as I continue to not be secretive]

I then say people my zodiac sign "RULE!!!"

I think that's all. Bye. I suck at writing. Not spelling but writing. Stay in school kids.

Mind you, I myself was a kid in school. A kid calling other people kid. Honestly I chuckled a little

I also watch anime and read manga but not a lot of it. I don't learn much from school other than math, science (which I kinda suck at), and lunch.

Still true lol

I learn most of my skills at home, on the TV, and I like adding comas before the and. I don't know where I'm going with this.......

I say my chinese zodiac animal

and I like looking at fortunes and wondering what's mine. I have a HUGE imagination. It sometimes scares me at night. I hate the dark, clowns, sometimes puppets (not the muppets though), and I'm ULTRA AFRAID OF JUMP SCARES. Though I mostly am afraid of humanity

Oh okay just suddenly get dark on me why don't you

Scared of what it will become of it and why most people do what they do. Like kill and make fun of people....it's scary. I also hate talking. I'm a fiolee fan.

LOL THE SWITCH UP

I then list the youtubers I liked (only listed 4)

It takes to long to type them all. Not much to type.....I guess that's it. Bye. Kisses for everyone who actually read this. Sorry if this is long..

Continues to make it longer

..I love cats because they're there for you when your alone. Sadly I have a dog.

Oh yeah. This was written when we still didn't have cats in the house. So I just assumed cats did that. (My reality is our cats don't do that. But they're very nice kittens regardless lol)

Also *you're not your (gets shot)

I'm still in school. I love junk foods. I love winter and hot chocolate. I don't know why I'm still typing.

Yeah me neither

I hate it when I'm in a picture. Thanks again if you continued to read this and yet didn't care if this took away a few minutes or a whole hour of your life.

As I type I've been thinking about this for half an hour. So past me isn't wrong

Thank you. Bye. The End. FIN. Stop reading this!!! The end!

I can't stop reading this?!?

Ps I'm very lazy. Bye!!

I don't remember/know if I wrote the P.S. as a joke to how long my paragraph of a bio was. Or if I wrote if cuz it's true that I was "lazy". But regardless it's a lil funny

My Favorite 'X'

Favorite Visual Artist: "Leonardo da vinci? IDK :|"

Favorite Movies: "Anything 3D. Like monsters inc, and finding nemo. Good movies"

Favorite TV Shows: "Adventure Time, Regular Show (any cartoon on Cartoon Network and adult swim)"

Favourite. I'm just now realizing DeviantArt spells favorite with a 'u'

Favorite Bands/Musical Artists: "Imagine dragons, and instrumental music"

Favorite Books: "I read manga not books and when I do read manga (rarely) it is romantic"

"i ReAd mANgA nOT BoOkS". 🙄. Anyways.

Favorite Writers: "? Don't have one/don't know the name (to lazy to look up)"

Favorite Games: "Halo, Ib, the game of life, a game that has a story in that story, and a game that takes my soul away/is very sad. Shooter game. Idk I forget some games. For a reason though."

Idk where to start. I've never played the game of life (the board game). I liked the thought of it though. Unless old me was being edgy and meant irl life. In which case I never liked that either 😂.

'Shooter game'

I forgot games for a reason? Dang wish I remembered which ones now

Favorite Gaming Platform: "? =3= don't know/all????"

Me when gender

Tools of the Trade: "?????? WHAT?!?"

Yeah I still don't know what this means little-me so don't worry about it

Other Interests: "Animes that involve romance like shugo chara, uta no prince-sama (is that even the name), etc. it's embarrassing typing this... And sleeping, eating, and playing video games."

Last thing is a journal entry. The only journal entry I've ever put on this account.

Need a computer.

To post my drawings I'm going to need a computer and I don't have the money to buy one so the only thing I can do is post journal entry's.

Spelt wrong of course.

Also remember when mini me said they could spell? Well here they are lying to my face

I'm using my phone to type this. So any way I watched the new adventure time episode yesterday. While I watched it I did ghe AT work out.

??? They had a workout?

That night I watched [insert person] live stream on twitch. So close to watching/finishing (ep5.) of walking dead and then I "fainted" fast asleep. >:( I'm sad now. I watched the ending to pewdiepies story line this morning and yet I didn't cry......I'm half heartless. Don't know what to type now.....Bye.

Well that's it for that. Younger me typed a lot more than I thought they wanted to.

My username had kawaii in it

Whelp that's it.

This was nice. It felt like a hidden gem. Or a time capsule. And I realize how little I've changed, in a good way of course.

Also dang here little-me was trying to be quirky but like, I guess I was just naturally silly 🤪

Uhm that's it? What an abrupt way to end this. Anyways bye

#talks to myself #funny haha

[adult-kinda]

꧁🌺Mariposa🌺꧂

Even though there was a lot going on in his world, Niki never forgot about you. Typically he didn't mind the distance, but his birthdays hit different without you and not in a good way. You couldn't properly celebrate in person because of his trainee days, but he thought surely now you could.

"Sorry Riki, this year just isn't going to work again. My family won't let me go by myself." You said sympathetically.

Niki sighed but tried not to let it get to him. "That's okay! We can just do our usual video call, yeah? With warm strawberries like we usually do!"

You chuckled at his optimism. Niki never tried to let the distance impact you. He created little traditions for each holiday so it felt more and more fun and normal. Anytime he felt the distance bothering him he made sure to communicate with you so there was no guessing with him.

Yes, for a young couple you both had a very mature relationship model.

"Of course we will! Besides me, is there anything else you want for your birthday?" You asked.

Niki hummed in thought before nodding.

"A proper gaming laptop is like the dream! Razor has really good ones, especially in with the accessories like the headsets!"

You watched lovingly as your boy went on and on about his love for video games. As he did you smiled knowing something he didn't.

The truth you chose to leave out was regarding your location. Your family had just relocated to Busan. This wasn't super close to Niki, but a 2:30 hour train trip was better than a 14 hour flight. Your dad's job allowed him to move to Korea and from there everything aligned.

Your family and friends knew about Niki. He met them a few times over Skype and everyone who met him liked him.

Niki, on the other hand, did not share you with everyone. He didn't really introduce you to his hyungs yet. You only knew his manager, and now Jungwon for this plan.

"Riki I really don't think Razor is that much better than my MacBook!" You argued playfully.

His eyes widened comically.

"What are you even saying? You can't put it on the same level! Razor makes gaming laptops! Apple makes... A lot of money."

You laughed with the boy before you heard a shout.

"Coming hyung!" He responded.

"You gotta go?" You asked."

Niki nodded with a sigh. "Yeah, but I'll call you later!"

You nodded with a smile. "Sounds good! Make sure to tell Sunghoon happy birthday for me, yeah?"

"Will do. I love you!"

You waved at the boy through the screen. "Love you too!"

You blew him a kiss as he did his signature "cut" sign off. When he hung up you looked around the guest room. Your family was coming during the Chinese New Year but you wanted to arrive for Niki's birthday.

"Y/N sweetie are you unpacked?" Your aunt asked.

You nodded and grabbed your phone before heading out to the kitchen. Your aunt had prepared lunch for you before you would head off to Yongsan.

"Are you excited to meet your boyfriend for the first time?" She asked.

"I am! He has no idea that I'm here, actually almost no one.knows I'm here! Just his manager and staff and the group leader."

Your aunt was so happy for you. She had a long distance relationship in high school and sympathized with you.

"Well I'm glad you're happy! Do you have an overnight bag? And make sure to pack some snacks for the train! You should find Yuri on the same trip so there will be no issues-"

"Auntie," you interrupted. "I'll be fine! I'll be sure to find Yuri and get my snacks!"

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲

~

"What's the boy's name again?" Yuri asked.

"Nishimura Riki!"

She chuckled and scrolled through her phone.

"How'd you meet?"

You smiled at the memory. "I happened to be on the same dance team as his sister. She encouraged me to talk to him and the rest is history."

Yuri glanced at you and shook her head playfully.

"So that's how young people are falling in love these days, huh? Mutual friends and their siblings?" She asked rhetorically.

You shrugged and ate a pretzel.

"I guess so. He treats me well and always sends me presents."

Yuri gave you a side hug. "Well if you're happy and he's happy then that's all that matters!"

~

"I got some pretty good presents this year, especially from Engene!" Niki said into the camera.

He was filming his birthday vlive and things were going smoothly. Niki was being his usual self on camera but part of him also couldn't wait to talk with his girlfriend.

"What did I get? Let's see... Sunoo was the first to wish me happy birthday. He got me a new FIFA game for the new console. Jake and Jay are gonna buy me food and that's about it!"

As he was decorating his cake Sunghoon called him.

"It's Sunghoon-hyung. Hello?"

"Niki!"

"Oh hyung!"

"Don't hyung me! I got you a present."

Niki put the phone on speaker as he laughed.

"Oh did you?"

"Yah! I gave you a photo card with my handsome face and video games!"

Niki laughed at Sunghoon's words. He didn't lie, Niki got the present earlier before arriving at the company.

"Oh hyung."

"Don't say such things in front of Engenes! They're gonna think that I don't love you!"

"But you don't!" Niki argued playfully.

Sunghoon sighed over the phone.

"Okay, come home quickly!"

The two boys laughed and brought their conversation to a close.

"Hyung, would you like to say anything to Engenes? You're on speaker." Niki asked.

Sunghoon hummed over the line. "Engene, thank you for all the birthday wishes! I love yo-"

Niki ended the call and laughed mischievously. The fans expected the fun behavior from the youngest member.

"Okay where were we?"

He went back to decorating the cake and reading off comments.

"Niki what's a present you want this year?" He read.

𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

He sighed and added a strawberry jelly to the cake.

"I have a super close friend that I want to see. A lot of my friends and family called me today so I am very grateful! Friend, if you're watching I miss you and hope you will stream our comeback well!"

The staff chuckled fondly at the boy. What he didn't know was that you were already there.

~

Thank you, Jungwon!" You said in the car.

The manager was driving you both to the dorm. The rest of the boys would go home with Niki so it would be a perfect surprise.

"No problem! I just can't believe it..." He said glancing at you in the back seat.

"What?"

"That you're real! There's a joke that you are just made up so Niki can impress us or something. But you exist! You're real!" He gawked.

You chuckled. That sounded like something the boys would do.

"Well thank you for trusting me with Niki and for taking care of him!" You said.

Jungwon was about to respond before the manager cut in.

"We're here. You're gonna need your ID to get in." He announced.

You got out the SUV and tried to stay as discreet as possible. You had your hair tied up, a face mask, sunglasses, and wore all black. Yes, it was all protocol. You walked concealed by body guards and the manager, it was all so new to you. All this just to get into a building? Then again this was Enhypen so you couldn't be too cautious.

Once you made it inside you showed your ID and got checked in. You followed Jungwon and the manager to the actual dorm where they lived.

"So this is it! Niki usually rooms with Sunoo these days but he and Heeseung switched so you two could be together. How long did you say you were staying?" Jungwon inquired.

"Just two nights. But I love in Busan so it's only a two hour train ride here, I don't mind it."

The leader nodded and pointed in one direction.

"Over there's the kitchen, feel free to make yourself at home. Niki says you're a good cook so..."

You chuckled and set your shoes next to the others.

"I don't mind making a meal for you guys! How long do we have until they get here?"

Jungwon checked his phone and gasped.

"About 15 minutes! I'll hide in my room, you do what you planned!" He instructed.

You nodded with a smile.

"Thank you, Jungwon!"

He gave you a thumbs up before going into his room.

You went into Heeseung's room and put your things away. Afterwards you joined the manager on the couch.

"Thank you for helping me surprise him." You said tiredly.

He nodded. "Riki is always talking about you. I'm glad you make him happy, especially at his young age. Being a professional idol at 16 is not easy but you bring him some form of normalcy."

You smiled and exhaled. Knowing the impact you had on Niki made you feel accomplished.

"Well, I'm gonna make some tea. Do you mind if I use the kettle?"

The manager shook his head and closed his eyes. After dealing with these boys for most of the day he was tired, and rightfully so.

You filled the electric kettle and brought out ginger tea from the cupboard. Just as you were preparing your mug the front door opened. You willed yourself to calm down and act normal.

"You're still bad a video games but it's okay!" You heard Niki tease.

"Yah! You always bring that up!" Sunoo complained.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Niki came in the kitchen and grabbed a water out the refrigerator.

"Hi Riki." You said casually without looking at the boy.

"Hey Y/N." He answered.

He acted like it was normal until he paused. He realized the situation and turned to you fully.

"Y/N?" He gasped.

The five boys looked at you with jaws dropped. Yes, you existed in real life.

"Hi Riki!" You said now looking at the boy.

Both of your eyes filled with tears as you took each other in.

"You- no! No this isn't real! Y/N's family said she couldn't travel here alone!"

You chuckled. "Y/N's family is moving to Busan next month but she got here early to surprise her boyfriend!" You explained.

Niki brought you in for a strong hug. He held you like you would let go. You felt his tears on your shoulder and your's on his.

"I love you so much!" He whispered.

You sniffled and held him tighter if possible. "I love you too!"

"And I wanna know what the hell is going on!" Jay interrupted.

Niki pulled away from you slightly and chuckled.

"Um... Guys, this is Y/N. The girl I've been talking about for the past year." He introduced.

You smiled shyly and waved. "Hi! I know all your names and everything so no need for introductions."

The boys took a moment before laughing.

"Niki we owe you! We really thought you were just saying that but she's real! She exists!" Jake said in disbelief.

Riki laughed at his older members and turned back to you.

"But how?"

You motioned to the sleeping manager.

"I told your manager, staff, and Jungwon I wanted to surprise you. So I planned it out and told you a white lie just to surprise you!" You explained.

Nishimura Riki was in total shock.

"And you're here!"

You nodded and brought him in for another hug.

𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧

"I also bought you some presents!"

Niki shook his head. "You're more than enough!"

You shrugged. "Well I felt like it so let me grab the things!"

Instead of waiting for you Niki followed you like he was afraid you'd leave.

"Babe you can't wait for me?" You asked in a playful manner.

Niki shook his head. "Every moment is precious!"

You nodded in agreement before bring the boxes out to the living room.

"Okay open it! And you have to share with your members!"

Niki nodded and opened the boxes. He gasped when he found a razor laptop and accessories like headphones and a mic.

"Baby you really got this for me?"

Heeseung looked at the items and smiled.

"Bro she said to share! Thank you Y/N!" He said happily.

You nodded. "No arguments over this, but technically it does belong to Riki."

The boys all gathered around and unboxed the items.

Niki strayed away from the small crowd and pulled you into the kitchen.

"I just can't believe that you're here and I get to meet you for the first time!" He confessed.

You smiled and took your hands in his.

"Well I'm here for the next two days before I go back home to Busan! It's only a 2:30 hour trip here so I don't mind it."

Niki nodded. "Better than a 14 hour flight!"

You smiled up at his before you both leaned in slowly. The second your lips met it was like fireworks. Your stomach was way past butterflies at this point. Niki was so lost in love and happiness.

"Ew! The youngest is making out with Y/N in the kitchen!" Sunghoon teased.

You both pulled away and Niki rested his chin on your head.

"I forgot about them..." He muttered.

You just laughed and moved backwards to look into his eyes.

"Well I hope you liked the surprise?"

Niki gave you another kiss before smiling brightly.

"I wouldn't spend my birthday any other way."

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