#i had a girl at school last year explain to me that her *~lack of gender~* was comparable to me being blasian because and i quote | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenbuckyyy · 1 year

Text

MADE FOR LOVIN’ YOU

Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating on you, you find an escape with your old best friend.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader, Jason Carver x fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.2kish

Warnings: Cheating (readers partner on reader), Angst, readers feelings are hurt, crying. SMUT (!!) slight dry humping, making out, vaginal fingering, raw sex, unprotected sex (!!!), multiple orgasms, dirty talk, cream pie, exhibitionism kink, seniors in high school, season 4 vibes, Eddie didn’t fail in this world. Anything else? Let me know!!

A/N: I got this request (idk why I can’t tag the person, but it’s @lilsp00nvstheworld) and holy shit!! I totally fell in love with it and then this happened!!! Song inspo: “I was made for lovin’ you” by KISS

All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts!!! It fuels me!

Masterlist

Eddie Munson hated Jason Carver.

Absolutely hated him.

He fucked hated his guts. The stupid blonde annoyed him to no fucking end.

He hated the way he walked. The way he talked. The way he acted as if he was king of the school. He hated the way he acted superior because he was good at basketball. It was infuriating.

He hated the way he was the golden boy of the school.

Mr. Popular.

He hated how just hearing his voice made Eddie’s blood boil. It made his insides turn. Made him want to vomit. Made him clench his fists in rage.

He especially hated how he had stolen his best friend away from him.

His best friend, Y/N.

His best friend in the entire world. Aside from his hellfire club. You were always his number one. Ever since the third grade.

But then, you both entered high school and you became a cheerleader.

You had managed to balance both hellfire club and being a cheerleader. But then at the end of freshman year, you started dating fucking Jason Carver.

And you chose him.

You chose that ugly sack of shit.

Eddie knows it wasn’t your decision. He knows Jason was the type of guy to give you an ultimatum. “Either you leave the hellfire club or I leave you” type of guy.

So, you left the club. You couldn’t even meet Eddie’s eyes when you had told him on the day before summer break that freshman year. Eddie was distraught. He couldn’t believe it. He remembers clutching onto your hand, begging you to explain, but you simply tugged your hand away and ran to Jason’s side.

Eddie remembers the smirk Jason gave him when you weren’t looking. That’s the day that fueled the hatred Eddie had against him.

He tried endlessly that summer to talk to you again. But every single time he went to your house, you either weren’t there or you told your mom to tell her you didn’t feel well. The look of sympathy your mom gave him never stopped.

Soon enough… he stopped trying.

Now, almost three years later, you guys are seniors. In your last year of high school.

And you’re still dating Jason Carver. Head cheerleader. The captain of the cheer squad. Best friends with Chrissy Cunningham. Miss popular. The most beautiful girl in school. Everyone loved you and without shame.

You’re beautiful, kind, funny, caring, and a total babe. A real sweetheart. And Eddie missed you. Missed you every single day.

He also thinks…

Eddie thinks a part of him still loves you. Eddie thinks he’s always loved you a bit. Ever since you guys became best friends. But.. you were always out of his league. Even as stupid young kids. So, he never tried to make a move.

And now, he hasn’t spoken to you since that day in freshman year. Not with lack of trying on his part. But he figured you were happy. Who was he to try and stop that?

So, he stood in the background and let you be happy.

He watched you prance around the hallways in your tiny green cheer uniform with Jason’s letterman jacket covering your upper body and his arm wrapped around your waist tightly. Never letting up. He’d kiss you sloppily against the lockers every chance he got and he’d even run his fingers in the inside of your thighs.

You’d instantly close your thighs, blushing furiously, telling him to stop, and he’d only try to keep going.

It always made Eddie furious to see this, but he never intervened. You had been with Jason for over three years already.

You knew him better than Eddie did.

Now, Eddie was at a celebratory party for the basketball team winning the playoff game. Eddie didn’t really mind coming to parties. He enjoyed the free beer. He enjoyed providing his drugs to pretty girls and handsome guys. Sometimes… sometimes if the night felt right, he’d end up in bed next to someone.

But tonight was a little different.

Because you were here, too.

Usually you and Eddie partied with two completely different crowds. But since it was the basketball team that was being celebrated, surprisingly the two groups merged together into one big party.

So there he was.

Sipping on his beer, huddled into a corner, laughing with his friends, and he sees you from across the room.

It’s almost like a magnet is attached to you by the way his eyes always find you in a crowded room.

You’re looking around, peering over different shoulders, a confused look etched on your pretty face, and you look amazing tonight.

Eddie bites his bottom lip as he zones out from the group conversation to admire you.

Your outfit is simple, but Eddie still thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the room. You’re wearing a pair of high waisted jean shorts, a striped brown with yellow oversized sweater, and a pair of white chucks. Your hair is still in the teased updo from the basketball game and you look flawless. You’re still wearing the makeup from the game and your lips are glossy. What a beauty.

Eddie watches you trying to peer over the groups of people. Probably searching for Jason.

He hears you ask another cheerleader if they’ve seen him and she says that she thinks she saw him going outside with Chrissy.

The way your face falls makes Eddie’s heart still and he sees you quickly turning on your heel and walking outside.

Eddie isn’t sure why, but he follows you. He follows silently behind you, not hovering, but close enough to where he can see what you see.

You make your way outside and you’re immediately peering over the dark corners of the backyard. You stop in your tracks when you see something from the corner of your eyes. You look down into the dark alleyway of the house and Eddie sees your frown with the tears filling your eyes at what you see.

You instantly turn around and run inside, covering your face, and Eddie sees you running up the stairs. You didn’t even notice him a couple feet away.

Eddie walks over and peers into the alleyway. He stops the gasp from escaping his throat when he sees your boyfriend, Jason Carver, making out with your best friend, Crissy Cunningham.

He has her up against the wooden panels of the house, her leg is wrapped around his waist, and he can see Jason finger fucking her underneath her skirt. They don’t even notice the second pair of eyes that have caught them tonight. Completely lost in their own world.

Eddie almost wants to beat him to a pulp right now, but he’s more worried about you than bashing Jason’s face in.

So, Eddie leaves them and goes back into the house. He goes up the stairs because he saw you run up them and slowly starts opening each door he comes across. Hoping he doesn’t catch another pair going at it.

But this is high school. He catches another girl riding some guy. He doesn’t catch their faces because he quickly closes the door shut.

He mumbles a few cuss words and proceeds to go down the hallway.

He opens the last door of the hall and that’s when he hears your soft cries.

“Y/N?” He asks into the dark room as he walks into it.

You quickly sniffle, wiping your tears away, and looking around for the voice. Your face crumbles when you see him. The moonlight shines bright through the open window, coating your features beautifully.

“Eddie?” He hears your confused tone ask breathlessly in between a sob.

Eddie quickly closes the door behind him as he walks into the room. Not wanting anybody to see you like this and rushes towards you.

He’s reaching out for you out of instinct and your arms are falling around him, you melt into his body, your face buried into his chest, and his ringed hands go to your hair. He tries to console you the best he can with the teased ponytail you’re rocking, he sticks with just twirling your hair in his fingers, and you cry into his chest.

“Shhh, it’s alright. Let it out,” he whispers to you as he wraps his free arm around your shoulders.

“D-did you see?” You ask, sounding a bit muffled, into his chest.

Eddie sighs, “He's a jackass. Doesn’t know what he has.”

You continue to cry into his chest, trying to control your breathing by matching his own, and holding him tightly against you.

“I’m so sorry, E-Eddie. I was such a bitch to you freshman year! Why are you even here right now? You should h-hate me,” you cry out as you tilt your head up to look at him.

Eddie’s already looking down at you with a small smile on his lips, he caresses your cheek gently, wiping away your tears, “I could never hate you. Never.”

“But—“

“Never,” he quickly cuts you off. “It’s high school. We all make mistakes.”

Your cries stop momentarily as you take a second to look at Eddie.

To really look at how much he’s changed in the past three years.

He’s really grown into his features and wow, he’s hot. He’s always been sort of hot to you, but you knew it would never happen. Because he was always your nerdy best friend.

His hair is the longest it’s ever been. Long messy brown curls frame his face perfectly and teased in all the right places. His full pink lips are resting nicely, looking wet and kissable. His big puppy brown eyes are looking at you warmly. As if you’ve never done anything wrong before. And you know it’s not the case. Because you’ve been such an awful friend to him.

You were supposed to be his best friend. And you betrayed him.

You whimper are your thoughts and Eddie caresses your face again.

“Hey, hey. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m… I’m really sorry, Eddie. I-I can’t believe I did that to you… and then now you’re consoling me about stupid Jason. God, I’m such an idiot!!” You move from his chest and cover your face with your hands, feeling angry with yourself for being so dumb, and ashamed for Eddie seeing you like this.

“Hey, hey…” he grabs your hands, pulling them away from your face, and holds them in his big ones.

“You’re not stupid, okay? He’s the stupid one. He’s the one who messed up here. Okay? Not you.”

He sounds so sincere. You look at him with a pout. “What about you?“

“What about me, angel face?” Your old nickname slips out of his lips with ease and you flush under the darkness.

“Do you forgive me?” You whisper low, feeling nervous, and your heart is racing.

“I mean… of course, I do. I was… I was hurt. I’ve been hurt for a long time. But all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. And if Jason made you happy, then I let him make you happy.”

“Oh, Eddie.” You wonder how his heart is still so big and caring even after all this time.

You wonder why you didn’t fall in love with Eddie instead of Jason. Eddie would have never broken your heart.

You find yourself moving closer into Eddie’s space again. Your head tilting up to his, your lips ghosting above his own, and you feel Eddie’s body tense up against yours.

“What are you doing?” He quickly asks, his voice shaking slightly.

“Make me forget, Eddie.” You say lightly at him, your lips moving towards him, and you touch his lips slightly with your own. You hover over them for a little bit. Wanting to see what he does.

All you want is to forget and who better to help you… than Eddie. You’ve heard the rumors. You know he’s not a virgin anymore. You know he’s had plenty of sexual experiences. You’ve only had Jason. You want more than simple Jason.

You want Eddie. You want Eddie to rock your world and help you forget about stupid blondie.

“Please,” you whisper into his lips, your eyes peering up at him, and hoping he says yes.

Eddie is looking down at you, watching your pretty eyes eating him up, and he’s hesitant on doing this with you. He’s always wanted you. Always wanted to have you in this way. And he’s not sure if he should now that he has the chance.

But seeing the way your body is leaning over him, almost on top of him, your glossy lips hovering over his, he can smell your minty breath, and he knows you haven’t had a drop of alcohol.

This is all you.

Fuck it.

Eddie surprises you by gripping your face with his big palms and pulling you into him. His lips crash against yours hungrily, you moan into his mouth instantly, your body melting into his, and his tongue fights its way into yours.

He could taste your sweet lip gloss against his tongue and you could taste the slight beer on his. But you didn’t care. You could care less right now.

You’ve never been kissed like this before. Fire erupts into your belly.

His fast hands move down to grip your waist, pulling you more into his body, and he tugs you onto his lap after he adjusts himself onto the bed some more.

You wrap your legs around his waist, back arching into his chest, and you both don’t break the kiss. Your teeth clashing against his slightly as you both try to get a quick breath of air between open mouth kisses.

You can’t believe you’re kissing Eddie right now, but you can’t help but increase the speed in which you’re kissing. Your lips move against his hastily and hungrily.

Eddie moans at your eagerness against him, his hands moving from your waist to your bare thighs right underneath your shorts, and he grips onto your naked flesh tightly. Which makes you grind your hips into his.

Eddie pulls away with a groan as you tug onto his bottom lip. “Fuck,” he mutters as he watches you grind yourself into him again, your arms wrapped around his shoulders limply, and you look beautiful sitting on his lap.

You both are breathing heavily, staring into each other’s eyes, asking without any words if this is really happening, and you both simultaneously lean into each other to continue kissing.

His hands are tugging at the bottom of your sweater, trying to untuck it from your jean shorts, you pull away from him, leaning back on his thighs, and hitch up your hips to him.

“Fuck, are you sure?” He asks, breathlessly. His eyes locking with yours.

“Mhmmm,” you moan out, biting your lip.

With ease, Eddie unbuttons your jean shorts, tugging down the zipper, and untucking your sweater.

You don’t bother waiting to see what he does, your hands go down to the hem of your sweater, and you pull it over your head. Exposing your breasts which are covered in a black lacy bra, almost popping out of the cups due to all the movement you’ve been doing.

Eddie’s eyes move from your hips up to your breasts slowly, “Holy shit. You’re fucking…” His words stop flat in their tracks as his swollen lips pout in awe.

He moves his hands to cover your breasts and he squeezes them into his palms.

You gasp out in pleasure, rolling your hips against him, and moaning loudly when you feel how hard he is underneath you.

“Like that?” He asks you and you can only nod at his question. Waiting for his next move.

He lowers his head and starts leaving small peppered kisses all over the top of your breasts. You pant as he continues to move between both breasts and he unclasps your bra with his free hand.

The straps of your bra fall down your shoulders, your arms still wrapped around his shoulders, and you proceed to lean back to let your bra fall off your chest.

Eddie pulls away slowly when he sees what you’re doing and his eyes never leave your breasts. You let your bra fall off your arms and onto the ground slowly as you watch Eddie watching you.

He then takes his time palming each of your breasts in his big palms. Pinching your nipples in between his thumb and index fingers. Then, he goes on to lick and suck your nipples. Taking his time making sure you’re feeling the most absolute pleasure in everything he’s doing.

Your head tilts back in a moan, reveling in the bliss, and you don’t think Jason has ever taken the time in loving your body like this before.

Even when you lost your virginity to him, it was in and out. All these feelings were new to you and you didn’t want it to end.

Is this what it feels like to have a man worship your body?

Has Eddie always been this giving to his past lovers?

Eddie continues to kiss each of your breasts, leaving small bruises to remember this night all over your delicate skin, and he moves one of his hands to run his fingers along the curve of your waist. He smirks when he feels your body break out into goosebumps.

“Eddie,” you whine in wanting more, your eyes closed, and legs trying to grip onto him. Trying to relieve some of the built up pressure you’re feeling in your center.

“I got you,” he whispers into your neck as he sucks a bruise into it.

Your hands move underneath his shirt, trying to remove it to feel more of him, and he lets you.

You admire his naked skin, running your hands down his chest, and touching his new tattoos that you didn’t even know he had. And he smiles down at you. A toothy smile.

“Hot, huh?” He asks with a wink.

“You don’t even know,” you reply, kissing his lips again.

He kisses you slowly this time, but with the same sense of hunger. You almost jump when you feel his hand sneak into your panties.

You gasp out as you feel his fingers spread you open, feeling how wet you are, and he moans with you.

“Fucking drenched, angel face. All for me,” he says as he continues to cup your pussy with his hand, spreading you open, and slipping a finger into you with ease.

He slowly opens you up with one finger, his movements slightly constricted because of your shorts, but it doesn’t stop him. He continues to finger fuck you, inserting a second finger when he feels you’re ready, and goes in between your breasts to kiss each of them.

You’re already whining above him once again. His thick fingers feeling so good inside of you, clenching your eyes shut in pleasure, and you start rolling your hips against him to try and catch your impending orgasm.

Eddie moves away from your breasts and chooses to simply just watch you come undone in front of him.

He can’t believe he has you like this right now.

He watches the way your chest heaves up and down, your skin coated in a light coat of sweat, your eyes closed with your head tilted back, but you have a smile on your face. Your body is feeding off of the pleasure you’re feeling.

And Eddie is reveling in it.

He inserts a third finger, which makes you moan loudly, and he moves his thumb to your swollen clit. Which causes another loud rippling moan to escape from your lips.

Your hands move from the back of his neck to intertwine into his locks and Eddie continues with his movements.

He can already feel your legs twitching with your closing orgasm.

He wonders for a second if Jason ever made you come undone like this. He seems too self involved in himself.

He pushes Jason out of his mind and focuses on you again. The way your jaw is slacked open, soft whimpers coming out, and you’re riding his fingers so perfectly.

“Almost there, baby?” Eddie asks you and you can only whine in response.

He adds a bit more pressure on your clit with his thumb and continues to move his fingers into your tight walls. Your thighs clench around him, your lower stomach getting that familiar feeling that you usually get only with your own fingers, and you whimper sweetly above Eddie.

Your fingers grip onto his roots when you finally feel your orgasm take complete control over your body. Your legs are shaking, tears are pricking the corner of your eyes, and an exasperated scream breaks out of your throat as Eddie only increases the speed of his fingers. Milking out your orgasm as best as he can and he’s smiling like an idiot underneath you as he admires your blissed out state.

He slows down his fingers inside of you, sucking on the bottom of his lips, his eyes taking you in so greedily, and you pant above him. Your body relaxes against him in your post orgasm haze.

Your soft eyes slowly open, taking him in, and smiling when you feel how hard he still is under you. You untangle your hands from his hair and hold his face in your palms. You peck his lips, licking his bottom lip, and proceed to suck a bruise slowly into his neck. Smiling to yourself when you see the pretty purple bruise against his milky soft skin.

Eddie let’s put a moan at your actions, eyes hooded, and a dizzy smile on his face. He slips out his fingers from inside your shorts and grips into your waist. He gently lifts you up over his legs and you stand up in front of him. Your hands resting on his naked shoulders as your legs feel unsteady underneath you.

He starts tugging on the bottom of your shorts, pulling them down, letting them fall to your ankles, as you kick off your shoes, and watch his eyes fall down to your lacy pair of black panties.

“Fuck,” he mutters out, you reach down to unbuckle his belt, unzipping his pants hastily, and trying to tug them off as he’s sitting down still. He chuckles at your frustrated grunts, “Eager there?” You roll your eyes playfully and cross your arms over your chest.

Eddie mutters something under his breath and stands up, towering over you.

He kicks off his dirty Reebok’s, shoves his jeans down with all the chains hanging off the hoops, and brings down his boxers with them.

His thick, red-rimmed, hard cock springs out from the fast movement. Your thighs immediately clench together at the mere sight of him.

“Fuck me,” you blurt out and blush at your own comment.

“I will,” he replies cockily, his fingers reaching down to the sides of your panties, and he slowly pulls them down.

The cold air hits your warm pussy, making your entire body break out into goosebumps, and you shiver slightly as you kick off your undies.

Your pussy is glistening in front of Eddie and he can’t take his eyes off of you.

“Look at that,” he whispers. His fingers spread you open, “Glistening and all wet for me. C’mere.” His grabby hands hold your waist again as he helps you come back and sit on his lap. His cock sitting pretty in between you and you can’t wait to feel him inside of you.

You lean back, one of his hands is holding you by your back, and the other is holding his cock.

You lift your hips up, mouth open in a whine when you feel him move himself in between your folds, his pre cum spilling into you, and your wetness coating his thick cock.

His ringed fingers grip your flesh as he aligns you above his cock and swiftly slides into you with one movement. Bottom out in you easily, your tight walls suctioning him in, and you both whine at the connection.

Finally.

Your arms hold onto his shoulders, nails digging into them, and your head falls into his shoulder as you whine at how big and thick he feels inside of you.

You’ve never felt so full before.

You’ve never felt so open. So spread out. Your walls burn at how thick he is.

His cock is fitting perfectly inside of you, letting your body adjust to his size, and he almost comes undone when he feels you squeezing against him. Trying to feel more of him. His fingers digging into the fullest part of your hips as you both adjust to each other’s warmth.

“Oh my god, you’re so fucking big!” You whine out, biting the flesh around his neck, and leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses.

“Me? F-fuck, you’re fueling my ego. You’re pussy is fucking heavy, angel face.”

His grip on you never falters as he starts to move you up slowly, the tip of his cock at your entrance, and he moves you back down again.

You both whine again, feeling so blissful, so fucking wonderful.

“You feel amazing,” he mutters out into the curve of your neck, biting down gently, and he continues using your body as he pleases. Continues moving you up and down on his hard, pulsating cock. His hips meet yours as you start to increase the speed.

Rolling your hips into him as he moves you as he wishes, both moaning together, and the sweet smell of sex starts filling the room.

Eddie suddenly grips both of your hands, moving them behind your back, and holding them by the wrist in one of his own. He holds you steady, your body leaning back, but his cock never stops moving inside of you. You feel fucking amazing right now. Never having felt like this before.

You both look down at the same moment, both watching the way his cock pulls out of you and swiftly enters back into your soaked pussy, and they way you both enjoy watching.

Your nails dig into your hands in pleasure, your wetness soaking his thighs, and Eddie moves his head down to your breasts. You arch your back to give him more access as he swirls his tongue over one of your hard nipples, you cry at the pleasure that rocks into your spine, and he moves one of his free hands to massage your other breast.

“You fit my cock perfectly, fuck. You’re taking me so g-good. Oooohhh, honey. You feel like heaven, angel.” His thrusts only increase in speed, the sound of thighs hitting against each other fills the room, with the loud sound of his cock destroying your pussy.

You can feel your orgasm building up once again and it’s as if he can tell because he releases his hold on your wrist. You instantly reach down in between your bodies, and cry out when you finally reach your awaiting clit. You hold onto Eddie with your free arm wrapped around his shoulders and he buries his head against your breasts, but continues to hold your hips to keep the pace fast and hard.

“Oh, f-fuck!! E-Eddie, I’m s-so fucking close. D-don’t stop! Are you close?” You whine out, increasing the speed of your finger against your clit, and you squeeze his cock inside of you with your velvety walls.

“Oh, sweetheart.. I’m fucking close. Keep going, k-keep touching yourself,” he sucks a couple more bruises into your breasts and then he moves his big hands to the bottom of your ass, cupping both cheeks roughly as his thrusts continue to enter you deeply.

Your head is tilted back, jaw slacked, mouth open in your whining, your bodies melting together into one, and you feel your orgasm almost taking over.

“That’s it,” he coos you and then suddenly, you hear the door open loudly. The door hitting the wall in a bang, but Eddie’s doesn’t stop your movements and you don’t either.

“What the fuck?! Y/N! What the fuck are you doing with this f-fucking freak?!” You hear your boyfriend's loud voice yelling into the room, but you don’t care. All you care about is your orgasm. You need to come undone on Eddie’s cock. That’s the only thing on your mind right now.

“Shut the fuck up, Carver! And look at your beautiful fucking girlfriend drunk on my cock,” Eddie yells back at him and you finally reach your climax, tears prickling the corner of your eyes.

“NO! What the fuck?!” Jason yells from the door, slamming his closes fists onto the wall next to him, his eyes locked onto your fucked out body on top of Eddie, and he can’t look away.

The stimutanous feeling of Eddie fucking you hard and the pressure you’re putting on your clit feels overpowering. And somehow being caught by Jason fuels a kink you didn’t know you had.

A loud scream explodes from your throat and Eddie follows suit with a loud groan. His thrusts don’t slow down, instead your release triggers his own, his cum spurts out and coats your walls, your pussy clenching around him, squirting on him, and your thighs are shaking. The most overwhelming orgasm you’ve ever felt consumes you.

“Be fucking loud,” Eddie demands against your neck as he watches you come undone.

Your whining loudly still, your vision turns hazy with spots filling the corners, your hands gripping onto him as you come down from your climax, and you let out a breath of satisfaction. Your body feels like jelly against his.

Eddie’s breathing is jagged underneath you, a smirk on his face as he pulls himself away from your breasts, and you finally take a look at the door.

Jason is standing there, a shocked look on his face, mouth dropped, wide eyes, and he’s speechless.

You can’t help, but notice how hard his dick is in his khaki colored pants.

Eddie must have noticed, too.

“Liked the show, Carver?” He asks cockily as he gently lifts you up over his throbbing cock, you hiss at the sensation and the emptiness. You stand up and you clench your thighs together when you feel Eddie’s cum leaking out of you.

Jason doesn’t even speak. He’s only watching. His eyes moving down your naked bruised body and locking onto your fucked out pussy.

Eddie maneuvers his hand in between your thighs, his eyes on Jason, and pushes his cum back inside of you. The squelching sound of his cum getting pushed back inside of you makes your knees buckle.

You moan at the feeling, squeezing around his fingers, and you look at Jason.

“I saw you with Chrissy,” you say causally and his eyes snap to your face. “We’re obviously over. So… maybe get the fuck out?“

Jason looks as white as a ghost and he quickly rushes out the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Eddie’s fingers are still in you when you look down at him and he’s already looking at you, with a smirk on his face and he bursts out laughing. You follow suit, a loud giggle bursting through your lips.

“Did you see his face?“ He asks between his laughs.

“It was priceless,” you say as you kiss his lips.

“Mmm,” he moans into your lips, “Pussy so tight for me. Filled with my cum.”

“Want to go again?” You ask, eyes glittering with want as you met his own.

“Fuck yeah, but I want to take you home instead.”

“Okay,” you whisper against his lips with a smile and a small kiss.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson writing #eddie munson smut #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #season 4 #stranger things s4 #eddie stranger things #eddie munson angst #eddie munson best friend

3K notes · View notes

limarieb · 7 months

Text

love is a double-edged sword

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader (Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision)

Summary: Falling in love with your presumed-to-be-straight best friend could have been possibly the worst, most cliché thing you have ever done. But, it could also have been the best.

Warnings: internalized homophobia, coming out, occasional swearing used, brief mention of non-consensual kiss

Word Count: 4.5k

Author's Note: ahh my tumblr debut! this was the first mcu fic i ever wrote — i hope you guys enjoy.

Main Masterlist | ao3 | Wattpad

...

Since the age of six, if anyone asked you who your best friend was, you would proudly respond, “Wanda Maximoff”; she would do the same with your name.

But, you’re not exactly sure when your feelings for her become less friendly.

Maybe it was one of those times she had gone off on a tangent and explained the latest book she read, saying how much you’d “love it if you just listened to her and read the damn book.” You found her passion for stories endearing, perhaps even admirable. Maybe it was Field Day during the seventh grade; the outside air was plagued by blistering heat, but — with her long, brunette hair tied up in a high ponytail — she made sweating look good . Maybe it was the fact that, when you came out to your family last year, she had comforted you afterward; she held your face in her hands, wiped your tears with her two thumbs, and told you any girl would be lucky to have you.

You were sure at this moment that you did not want “any girl,” however, because the only girl you wanted was the one sitting in front of you.

You mistakenly let out a scoff. Of course, you would fall victim to the “lesbian falls for the straight best friend” trope. Wanda, on the other hand, thought the scoff was a response to her; thus, she pulled you into a tight hug, trying to convey how deeply she cares for you.

“I’m serious, Y/N,” she whispered into your ear. “One day, some girl is going to love you for you .”

You didn’t reply.

It was the second to last day of your junior year in high school. Thankfully, you had finished your exams, but the school required everyone to attend until the last day anyway.

It’s not like you could’ve done much for summer anyways; it has been raining all week, and it’s not like you got your license, nor do you even own a car. Additionally, you reasoned there could be far worse places to be in this moment, like home.

As you closed your locker, a mischievous brunette was lingering on the other side.

“Hello, Wanda. What can I do you for on this very fine day?” you said, sarcastically putting emphasis on the “very fine” part of the question.

She chuckled as she shook her head, “Nothing, at least not with that attitude.”

“Fine,” you gave in quickly, in pursuit of the real reason behind this conversation. “Seriously, though, what has Wanda Maximoff in such a chipper mood during school hours?”

Somehow, your question made her smile grow wider. “You’ll never guess what happened this morning,” she began. “Vision asked me out.”

Now, that caught your attention, “What?”

“Yeah, you know Tony, right? He’s that annoying rich kid in our class. Anyways, he’s throwing some sort of party for the end of the year and, since he and Vision are essentially best friends, Vision asked me to go to the party with him.”

You were only able to get one word out: “Wow.”

Noticing your lack of enthusiasm, Wanda turned her body completely towards you, “What? What’s wrong? Aren’t you excited for me?”

Truthfully, you were not excited for her. It’s not as if you did not know of Wanda’s infatuation with Vision; in fact, you could probably never forget the number of times she would talk to you about his “beautiful, blonde hair” and “pretty eyes.” Vision was not necessarily a bad kid, but you just hate that she just couldn’t like you like that.

It’s not like you could share this desire with your best friend either; ergo, you opted to put on a brave face and say, “Of course, I’m excited for you.” And, in case she didn’t believe you, you playfully elbowed her side, “If it goes well, I better be the maid of honor.”

You know that had convinced her, for she bit her lip and nodded excitedly.

“Oh,” Wanda started. “One more thing…”

As you looked at the mansion that stood before you, filled to the brim with a plethora of drunk teenagers, you uttered to yourself, “I don’t know why I let her talk me into coming to this. One day, I am going to have to stop agreeing with her on everything.”

You know you wouldn’t — if she wanted something, you’d make sure she’d get it. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from finding situations such as this annoying.

You walked through the front door. Immediately, your senses were overwhelmed by the strong smell of alcohol and the loud music blasting in the atmosphere. You attempted to push through to get through the crowd of people and find the person responsible for your presence. Before you could get much further, you felt another person grab and pull your wrist from behind, forcing you to turn around.

Wanda.

“Y/N, you came!” she tried to yell over the music. You could tell she wasn’t drunk, but she had definitely consumed something alcoholic. You failed to get a word in before she continued to pull you by the hand to venture further into the crowd of people, “Come on, let’s go dance!”

Moments later, you found yourself awkwardly “dancing” with your best friend. Although, she seemed to be having the time of her life. When she noticed your stiffness, she brought you closer to her, allowing you to hear her say, “Don’t worry about everyone else… Just dance with me!”

So, you did. You let go of any apprehensions, allowing yourself to move freely with the music and the girl in front of you.

Meanwhile, Vision stood across the room with a drink in hand. Not really thrilled by what he was seeing occurring between you and Wanda, he decided to end it. Drunkenly strolling over to you two, he pulled her from your grasp and into (in your unbiased opinion) one of the grossest, sloppiest kisses you had ever witnessed.

You weren’t exactly sure how to respond, partly due to the fact that there wasn’t exactly a reason to be envious of him anyways. So, you stood there awkwardly once more, pushing the jealousy down within you.

Wanda, on the other hand, was not thrilled by the action either. She knew he was drunk, tasting the alcohol the minute he forcefully placed his lips on hers. Quickly, she pulled away, “What the fuck, Vision? What was that?”

With a smirk aimed at you, he replied, “What do you mean?” She scowled, “You can’t just do that! Why would you ever think that was okay?”

“I should ask you the same thing.”

Now, she was the one in a state of confusion, yet hers was not fake, “What do you mean?”

“Y/N,” his retort made you look down at your old, worn-out sneakers. You weren’t entirely sure what direction this was all going, but you already knew that you did not like it.

“What about her, Vision?” “She’s obviously into you. I saw how you two were dancing together. My friends saw it, too. How is that supposed to make me feel, Wanda?”

Despite not being able to look up due to the embarrassment, you could feel the anger rolling off of Wanda’s body, “That is so not true, Vision, and you know it! Why are you acting so insecure about it, anyway? She’s my best friend, and I’m not even gay !”

You know she didn’t mean it like that , but something about the way she yelled the last part at the teenage boy came with a sort of venom — as if “gay” was synonymous with “bad.”

“You know what, Wanda? I’m done with this argument. You choose now : me or Y/N.”

That took Wanda aback, “What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, Vision,” she began. “That’s not fair, I refuse to choose between you and my best friend.”

“Either you choose me, and we can continue dating, or you choose her .”

A moment passed. In an attempt to not outwardly demonstrate the pain, you clamped your eyes shut. Honestly, you were about to walk away, accept defeat, and simply pretend this night never happened in the first place; you would have let her know later that it was alright, that if she wanted him, she could have him without someone like her standing in her way. Before she could move her feet to leave, however, she heard Wanda finally speak: “Fine, then. I choose her.”

Upon her decision being made, you finally looked up with wide eyes. Vision had the same wide eyes as you, but his face was paling from the initial rageful red that painted it moments earlier. Now, you shared two things with him: your love for Wanda and the visible shock that she chose you over him. It took every fiber of your being to not smile, as you knew now was not the time to celebrate such a victory.

Before another poisonous comment could be passed between the two, Tony stepped through the crowd that had surrounded you three. “Okay, man. That’s enough. Let’s go,” he ushered Vision away from the scene.

The crowd dissipated, leaving your best friend standing there alone. You took their exit as an opportunity to make sure Wanda was alright. You tried to reach out to her, to touch her shoulder. Maybe it was to pull her into one of your two’s infamously tight hugs; maybe it was to just let her know you were just there . You don’t know why you reached for her, but you didn’t really think before acting since it just felt like the most natural thing to do for you. Immediately, your hand was shrugged off by the brunette. Your body began to feel hot, and tears started to form in your eyes. You refused to cry, though, instead choosing to look down at your feet once more and begin your journey back home.

Within minutes you were back in the comfort of your own bed. With a harsh swallow, you continuously replayed the events of tonight over and over again. You laid there, reminiscing on just how utterly humiliated and alone you felt.

Even then in your state of depression and self-pity, you only hoped Wanda was doing okay.

Wanda left the party soon after you did. Similarly, she went home and found herself collapsed in her bed.

She didn’t bother changing out of her clothes, nor did she take off her makeup. Internally, she wishes that the bed would swallow her in order to leave the ramifications of tonight as a “potential” occurrence rather than an “actual.” She just doesn’t understand why: why he would do something like that; why the universe hates her; why she turned you away when she knew you did nothing wrong.

A brief, soft knock at her bedroom door removed her from her cyclical round of thoughts. “Come in,” she whispered, not trusting her voice to carry across the room like it usually does.

The door creaked open slowly, revealing her twin brother standing on the other side. “Hey, сестра,” he began, approaching her bed with caution and sitting beside where her legs laid. “How are you doing?” [sestra | sister]

She doesn’t acquire the information about how exactly he learned about the events of tonight, perhaps from some friends of his that went to the party. Instead, she chuckled humorlessly, “How do you think I feel, Pietro? I think I just lost my best friend and the guy I liked in one night.”

“‘The guy you liked’? You mean, Vision?” he wondered. “Honestly, I didn’t like him anyway. You didn’t lose much on that front. But, what happened with Y/N? You guys never fight.”

“I don’t even know, Pietro. One minute, we’re just dancing and having fun because you know Y/N — she never comes to parties. I wanted to make the most of the night. As we were dancing, though, Vision walked up to us, stole me from her, and just kissed me. Not only was it without my consent and out of spite, but it was just gross.”

The latter statement made the twin brother laugh. She continued, “I pulled away quickly because I was just so angry , you know? Like why did he think he could just do that? So, I asked him, which caused us to have an argument in the middle of the party. In the end, he gave me an ultimatum: him or Y/N. Of course, I chose her because… I don’t know, Y/N is Y/N.”

He sat there next to her, listening intently. He sighed, “Yeah, but what happened between you and Y/N ?”

She closed her eyes, “I don’t know .” The statement wasn’t a lie because she truly did not understand why she reacted the way she did towards you, her best friend. The tears started flowing again, soon turning into a set of sobs that ultimately racked her body. Her brother swiftly leaned down, taking his sister into his arms; she continued to cry into his chest for what felt like hours.

After some time had passed, the sobs slowed down and transformed into sniffles. Pietro looked down at his sister, “What’s wrong?”

She refused to look up, but she knew she had to get this off her chest. “Pietro,” she released in a single breath. He affirmed to her to continue, “I think… I think I’m gay.” There was another beat of silence before she slowly proceeded once more, “I think I like Y/N.”

There it was: the beast of the truth that was unknowingly weighing her down was finally released.

If it was even possible, Pietro pulled her closer in his embrace. Though he was aware that discussions of sexuality were becoming increasingly accepted and treated as an insignificant portion of someone’s life, he also knew that this was a big deal for her . He acknowledged such a fact, “I’m proud of you, Wanda, and I’m glad you told me, especially because I know it must have been difficult for you to realize and go through this on your own — even without Y/N… is this what caused the rift between you two? Did you tell her, and she rejected you?”

She scoffed, “Quite the opposite, actually; Vision accused her of liking me — which she probably doesn’t — but I just stood there, screaming at him that we were ‘just friends’ and that I ‘wasn’t even gay.’ You should’ve seen her when I shrugged her away after, Pietro. She looked so hurt . I hurt her.”

“You want to know how to fix this?” he asked, quickly followed by a confident nod from her. “You have to talk to her. Even if she didn’t like you, this is not something to lose such a close friendship over. For the record, though, she does like you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and that is definitely someone in love.”

Her head snapped up at the accusation, meeting the smirk that was plastered on his face. If he was right, she really messed up. She urgently needed to see you, to tell you once and for all how she truly feels about you; thus, she told her brother that she was going to find you and left him and his smirk behind.

Wanda didn’t have a clue about what she was going to say when she saw you; she didn’t have a script, nor did she have any guidelines to follow. She just knew she had to see you , only then would everything make sense for her.

You were on the verge of sleep when you could feel the vibrations coming from your phone. In a sleepy haze, you picked up the phone. The brightness made you unexpectedly squint your eyes, but the Caller ID was unmistakable: Wanda Maximoff.

You weren’t sure what exactly to do in this situation. On one hand, you knew you could not face another rejection, specifically from her. It would probably break you beyond repair. On the other hand, you could never say no to Wanda, even if it meant answering her calls at the most random times of the day.

So, you shakily tapped the green button and pulled the phone close to your ear.

“Hello? Y/N?” you could hear Wanda ask on the other side of the line.

“Hi,” you responded back. Wanda noted how soft your voice sounded. Normally, she would consider such softness an adorable trait of yours, but she knows the reason behind it. She knows it was her fault that you felt insecure at that moment.

“I’m– Um, I’m outside; can you come downstairs to open the door?” Wanda asked. Now, you were almost completely awake; the question made you raise your eyebrows in astonishment.

Despite your initial surprise, you muttered a quiet approval that you would meet her at the door and made your way downstairs.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You don’t know what she’s going to say to you. You unlock the door and reach for the handle of the door, slowly turning it and pulling the wooden door towards you until you’re able to see Wanda on your front doorstep. Even with the low amount of yellow light coming from the bulb outside the door and the makeup visibly smeared on her face (probably from crying, you note), all you can think about is just how pretty she looks.

Her eyes look up to meet yours, causing your breath to hitch for a second. You weren’t certain about how to go about this, “Uh, do you want to come in? We’d have to go up to my room quietly because my parents are home.”

She accepted the invite, nodding her head hesitantly. The two of you walked upstairs, through the hall, back to where you had initially been laying in your bed and wallowing in your pity. You got back in your bed and crossed your legs as you sat against the headboard. Wanda, however, did not sit alongside you like she usually does; instead, she paced around your room. It was obvious that she was stuck in a state of stress and anxiety that you had never seen, even when she failed that one test back in sophomore year.

Your eyes trailed back and forth as you observed her pacing; suddenly, she came to a stop in front of the bed. Her body was not facing you, rather it faced the way that she had been walking moments prior. She started to play with the rings littered on her various fingers, which you had learned early on that it was a nervous habit of hers. You chose to remain quiet and to let her speak when she was ready due to the evidently difficult subject matter, but you couldn’t help your own anxiety rising.

Without looking at you, she finally broke the silence: “I need to tell you something, Y/N. I need to tell you a few things, actually. I’m not sure how you’ll react, but I also know that you didn’t deserve what happened to you tonight, to be put in that situation. You deserve more than that; honestly, you deserve everything good, and I’m so sorry that I put you through that. I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me or be friends with me anymore, but I would not forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to salvage us.”

You sat silently in shock but continued to let her speak: “I thought I knew myself. In fact, I was so sure I did. Yeah, I may not have known the answer to some stupid math equation in school, but I knew the kind of clothes I preferred to wear, my favorite food to eat when I’m sad or stressed out, my go-to karaoke song. I thought I knew myself , inside and out. But, I don’t, or at least not as well as I thought I did. And, honestly? That’s freaking me the fuck out because, if I don’t know myself , how can I know anything else? I know that probably makes no fucking sense, but… yeah. I’m just really scared right now, but I talked to Pietro, which helped a bit. Um, he was right. Vision was right.”

Your face fell. You thought this was it, she was finally going to reject you and leave you.

In the deafening silence swirling around the two of you in your bedroom, she eventually decided to look at you. She saw the way your body sagged, how utterly defeated you looked; the brunette realized that you took her statement in the wrong way, “No! No! No! I didn’t mean it like that! Fuck ! I’m fucking this up. Okay, no, Vision is not right about anything other than the fact that I don’t like him. I don’t like boys… Truthfully, I’m not sure. I just feel so confused and stupid for not realizing such a big thing sooner. That’s what I meant when I said I thought I knew myself: I thought I knew that I liked boys, which I feel like is something that many people know from the beginning.”

“So, you’re… gay?” you quietly asked. You might be almost as confused as Wanda claimed to be.

You watched as the brunette nodded slowly, “I think so? As I said, I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you bit your lip, concentrating on forming something insightful to say next. “Thank you, Wanda, for telling me. I know how difficult and confusing it all is — believe me. Some people figure it out relatively early; others don’t realize it until they’re married with kids. There’s no timeline to any of it, okay? I know we’re kind of in this weird state right now because of tonight, but no matter what, I’d always support you.”

In a brief moment of confidence, Wanda turned her head to face you. You could see the water in her eyes that threatened to fall, her lip beginning to quiver. You rapidly stood up and walked over to her. With the two of you finally facing each other within a two-foot radius, she threw herself at you, wrapping her arms tightly around your neck. Your arms found their way to her waist, snaking around her and finding placement on her back. Both of you kept holding on tighter and tighter, afraid the other would try to leave. You could feel her chest rising and falling relatively fast as she cried into your neck and shoulder, repeating the phrase “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

You removed one hand from her back; instead, you placed it on her head. With a trembling hand, you tread your fingers through her long hair. In an attempt to calm her down, you whisper things of assurance like “It’s okay,” “You’re okay,” or “It’s going to be alright.” You’re not confident they worked, but you could feel her breathing begin to slow down again. You moved the hand from her hair to her shoulder and pulled back in order to ensure she was okay enough to continue; shifting from the shoulder to her hand, you grasped it and squeezed.

You moved to sit on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to you. Wanda was noticeably apprehensive, but she sat anyway.

“Are you okay?” you inquired, your eyebrow slightly raised in concern.

“Yeah, I am. At least, I will be eventually,” she trailed off. “There’s one more thing, though… probably the hardest for me to tell you out of all of them.”

Your eyebrows raised slightly as your interest peaked, but you knew to stay quiet again. She proceeded, “I told you that I don’t like men, implying that I do like women, which is true to an extent, I guess. Um, but it’s not ‘women' as in plural. All I know is that I like one, but I’m not sure how she feels about me. I want to tell her so badly so that we could try to be more or something, but I don’t know if she feels the same. I just don’t want to ruin us.”

You nodded your head for her to continue, “Can– Can I ask which lucky girl caught your eye?”

She moved her gaze upwards, resulting in your eyes locking once more. You could tell she was battling with herself internally about whether or not to answer with the truth, for she was harshly biting her lip. Yet, what you didn’t expect was her quiet, albeit one-word, response: “You.”

At this moment, with your eyes locked and her confession having been spoken, you swear your heart skipped a beat. Wanda Maximoff, your best friend and untold love of your life, just admitted she liked you as more than a friend.

Her eyes grew concerned and her face paled since you weren’t responding. “Please, say something… Y/N?” she pleaded.

If there was a time to deal all of your cards on the table, this was it: “I like you, too, Wanda. In fact, I love you. I love you so much, Wanda Maximoff. You don’t have to say it back or whatever; I know tonight has been a lot for you to deal with, but I’ve just wanted to say that to you for so long.”

A toothy grin grew on her face, reaching from ear to ear, “Really?”

“Yes, really. Um, can I kiss you? You don’t have to say ye—“

You were stopped effectively and prematurely when a pair of lips touched yours. Not just any lips, though; they were the softest , purest pair that was owned by your love , Wanda Maximoff. It’s slow at first, neither one of you sure of the other’s boundaries and not wanting to cross wherever they lie. But, as your lips part further allowing her to deepen the kiss, you just think, Wow.

You continue to kiss her for a minute or two before you’re out of breath and need to pull back for air. Before she can pull back completely, you give her a quick peck on her rosy lips that was probably filled with more intimacy and confidence than that initial kiss.

Pulling the brunette closer to you, you lean down and get the two of you comfortable in your bed. You’ve cuddled like this before during past nights where one of you spent the night with the other girl: you as the big spoon and her as the little one. You deeply appreciated nights like these, but you loved them even more so now that they hold a different context.

Your hand finds its spot on her hip, going beneath the shirt she wore. The two of you know it’s nothing sexual in nature, rather it’s a result of your need to just feel her. As you both began to nod off to sleep with your thumb continued to rub circles on her soft skin, you heard her voice call your name softly once more, “Y/N?”

“Yeah, Wands?”

“I love you, too.”

End.

#wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff #marvel imagines #limarieb #limarieb wanda maximoff

345 notes · View notes

sailboatdreamer · 1 month

Text

Back to the Night We Met

Hello! I'm Arcadia (she/her) and this is my first fic <3 i loved the holdovers so much it actually drove me to writing especially because of the lack of Angus fics rn :) Ill definitely continue it if people are interested, i have a pretty good idea of where to take it, this is just setup.

-You are a female student from a sister school who has to board over at Barton for the holidays, Mary comes to pick you up, and you have a first impression of all the boys- 859 words - slight blood mention.-

Angus reminded me of many men i had known, in various ways, throughout my life. Cold at first, brash, defensive- but equally in need of a love that was not easily accessible.

The first time i had ever met Angus, it was Christmas of 1970. The corresponding sister-school to Barton, Ada’s School for Girls, had just let out all the girls for winter break, except of course myself, who was doomed to two weeks of almost complete solitude. My only recompense being the books in the library, and my carefully hidden ration of cigarettes given to me by a friend as a Christmas gift.

I’d assumed that my stay at Ada would be chaperoned by one of the sisters from the convent, as they lived on campus and were usually the go-to call for holdover students, however when it came time to say goodbye, an unfamiliar face was awaiting me outside the aching, old oak doors.

“Hello young lady, I believe you’re staying with us this time.” Boston accent.

A beautiful woman, with a soft spoken voice, stood up against a powder-blue Impala, cigarette between her fingers. I came to learn that this lady was Mary Lamb. She was a cook from Barton, who’d elected to stay over the holidays due to the untimely and tragic death of her young boy, Curtis, a student. In her words, she felt going home would’ve abandoned his memory during this time that meant so much to both of them. As she drove me to Barton she explained i’d be staying with the other male holdovers due to ‘administrative difficulties’ whatever that meant

Quickly sensing my discomfort with this idea she said “Listen, you let me know if those little shitheads give you a hard time okay? My quarters are just past the dorms, near the garden.” i nodded appreciatively, smiling at her choice of language. It was surprising to hear it from such a demure lady, but Mary’s streak of subtle rebellion ultimately made her one of my favourite people i ever got to know through my school years.

When we arrived to Barton, Mary directed me towards the infirmary, as it was the last room in the entire building that had any heating, as i approached the door there was a clear noise of a scuffle going on inside. I gently pressed the door open, beat-up suitcase in my hand, glasses pushed to my nose. Two of the older boys were hitting each-other wildly, although it really seemed more girlish than i assumed boys fought. The minute they saw me, they got up and hastily tried to straighten out their shirts.

“Who are you!? The fuck-a girl?” A blonde boy, blue eyes, very irritating.

A rally of small, meek, lower-year boys stood around the room, just watching. The other boy who i’d seen flinging punches on the blonde was seething, he had a little blood running down his cheek, and he didn’t really acknowledge me, he seemed too focused on whatever his next chance was to knock the blonde’s lights out.

“Hello…..” i wave shyly, putting my suitcase by a free bed.

”hi, hello,- um-hi” the room grumbles back at me.

The air in the room is thick, and tense. Worried, nervous glances are passed between myself and the rest of the room for what feels like endless minutes before someone breaks the silence. “Do…. do you need help with your bags.” a nervous mutter from the boy who’d previously not acknowledged my arrival. And i actually did. Some of my books i insisted on bringing, assuming i’d have a boring two weeks had been a weight on my luggage. “Yeah… yeah i’d appreciate that. Thank you.” He follows me out, leaving the other boys to debrief among themselves. As we wander down the long, aging halls, and the noise of the infirmary grows quieter, i try to break the tension. “so….I’m (y/n).. i go to Ada,and uh- our nuns, shacked up for the winter apparently so that’s why i’m here. I met Mary, she’s… she’s really sweet” As i speak he nods gently, listening before speaking. “I’m Angus. And that (he points back at the infirmary) was Teddy Koutnze. Resident dickhead. The other kids i don’t know so well, they’re first years but-… they’re not too bad.” It was my turn to listen this time, as we walk i study the features on his face. Strong, angular features and deep, brown eyes, nearly carvaggian. He helps me with my other bags, opting to take the heavier one for me kindly, but as he’s picking it up, i again notice the blood on the side of his face. Without a second thought, i reach out to touch it, as i would’ve for any of the girls back at Ada. “You’re bleeding….”

His hand immediately rushes to his cheek, and i notice as his cheeks flush red, i recognise my mistake and apologize hurriedly “Oh-sorry, i-uh…” i try to brush off the blood on my skirt, and i we struggle to meet eyes “its… its okay” He grumbles, not meeting my eyes, we both walk back awkwardly, i know my face is flushed and i internally curse myself for doing something so careless. We share in the silence and a little smeared blood on our fingertips.

#angus tully x reader #the holdovers #da'vine joy randolph #dominic sessa #the holdovers fic #mary lamb #Angus Tully #paul giamatti #alexander payne #Angus Tully Fic

82 notes · View notes

the-air-nomad · 11 months

Text

Burning Destiny (part.2)

part 1 : https://www.tumblr.com/the-air-nomad/719741684747059200/burning-destiny?source=share

part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/the-air-nomad/721589459145080832/burning-destiny-part-3?source=share

How many years had passed? 3 or 4? You didn't even know anymore. The town where you hid was suspended in time, it seemed as if the 100-year war had not existed. This state was due to the lack of resources that made it unimportant both for the Fire Nation and for the Earth Kingdom. People were peaceful and welcoming to the rare visitors who ventured into their corner of the world.Although you appreciated the kindness of the townspeople, you always complained to Agni about the endless monotony. Every day you went to the market, then to the school where you worked as a teacher, then home.

It was a new day and you had just gotten out of bed. Confused, you looked out the window and noticed that the Sun was not yet in the sky. You were sure you heard a child crying. You slowly left the house and looked at the street. Not far from your house, a small child is staring in amazement at a boy no older than 12 years old. You thought it was just Li and his younger brother Taro and that the two of them were sneaking into your house to play a prank on you. Remembering that the last time they did this you lost an eyebrow you headed towards them wanting to scare them.You threw yourself at the older boy managing to immobilize him and pull his hat off his head to pull his ears. Both you and the boys screamed. The two were scared of you and you were scared of the blue arrow that adorned the head of the young man in your arms. The Avatar! You knew Agni hates you! If he is here, it means that the Fire Nation is not far away! You quickly send the smaller boy to his house and push the avatar towards your house.

Y/N: what are you doing here?! You're crazy?! The Fire Nation will destroy the whole city to find you!

Aang: Um, me and my friends stopped by to get some supplies ma'am..

Y/N: my name is Y/N, I'm one of the teachers in this town. I will help you stock up, but as soon as you do, you and your friends will leave. We have a deal?

The boy approves energetically and then bows respectfully. Y/N helps him cover his arrow and then they leave together for the market. There they meet two panicked teenagers dressed in Watertribe clothes. Y/N sighs, no wonder the Fire Nation always finds these kids. They don't even bother to change their clothes to blend in better with the crowd. The teenagers run towards the avatar looking suspiciously at the y/h/c woman. Y/N quickly explained the plan to them. She quickly buys them a good amount of food and other goods that could be useful to them on their journey. Then the woman offers them a bag with a reasonable amount of silver coins. The children hug her gratefully but she tells them that she is just trying to do her part in winning the war and advises them to run away quickly. You agreed to help them carry the supplies to their bison to make sure they would actually leave. There you met a small girl dressed in the clothes of the Earth Kingdom who seemed on the edge between panic and anger. The girl comes towards you and taps her foot accusingly.

Toph: what took you so long?! we have to leave quickly! The crazy princess and her even crazier friends are close. i feel the komodo rhinos approaching.

Y/N: Azula?! Run away from here immediately!

In a few minutes, the bison rises to the sky, and the noise of an angry Komodo rhino pierces the silence of the forest. The y/h/c woman tried to run away but it was too late as a circle of blue fire surrounded her.

Azula: what else do we have here? who are you peasant?

Y/N giggled bitterly. She takes a deep breath in her chest and turns to the princess.

Y/N: let's just say I'm not exactly a peasant my dear

The princess's face falls to the ground. All of a sudden, more expressions appear on her face than she has in years: insecurity, amazement, sadness, anger, happiness. The older woman looks at her with a broken smile and opens her arms in anticipation. The young woman throws herself into her arms and gives her a tight hug. Y/N sighs and returns the hug.Ty Lee and Mai also arrive and look at the scene in front of them confused. Then they analyze you and finally recognize you. Ty Lee quickly runs towards you and tries to join the hug but Azula angrily pushes her away then hugs you again. Y/N gives the girls an apologetic look and orders them to set up camp. After a few minutes, Azula moves away from you and begins to interrogate you. You sigh, feeling like you're talking to the old Ozai, this girl doesn't know how much she really resembles her father. But you hope that she will not go down the same path of destruction that her father decided to go down. You stop her talking with a wave of your hand. She blushes slightly and then regains the dangerous calm that is so characteristic of Fire Nation nobles.

Y/N: let's just say I needed a break from all the stress of the Palace. I have no excuse for my actions, and my only regret is that I felt like I left you alone. I know Zuko had Iroh, and your father deserved to spend some time and rethink his actions. But, I'm afraid that Ozai applied the tactic of blaming any other people besides himself.

Azula: You're saying my father was the reason you left? But why? He did nothing wrong!

Y/N: let's say that the two of us had some adult arguments. You are too young to understand, believe me.

Azula: I'm sure you'll sort everything out when we get to the palace.

Y/N: that's all I could wish for.

The journey to the palace was fast and tiring. Azula was getting more and more impatient with each passing day. If at first Y/N thought about a possible escape, an idea she gave up because she didn't want to hurt the three girls, then she reconciled with the idea that she would at least have a chance to roast Ozai a little for the Agni Kai with Zuko. Someone has to take the place of Ozai's heart until she returns from vacation, that is if she didn't die with Lu Ten. Y/N was starting to think that the second option was the most plausible of the two.

Arriving at the palace, Ty Lee and Mai went to their rooms and Azula hid Y/N in her rooms. Y/N tried to rest but that was almost impossible with all of Azula's talk. Y/N had already noticed from the trip that no one had paid attention to Azula, only to the wonder princess. The good part was that now Y/N knew everything that had happened in her absence. The bad part was that the only way Azula knew how to show her affection was to report all the useful information and do anything else despicable to get recognition. Okay, maybe there was another bad part. Azula had become worryingly paranoid, Y/N had noticed how Azula tentatively smelled and tasted her food before letting her eat, how she eyed the guards suspiciously, how she seemed to check on her every few minutes to make sure she hadn't disappeared.

After a few days in which Y/N tried with all her might to make Azula a little more relaxed, the day of truth arrived. Now she was outside the Fire Lord's chambers waiting for Azula to leave so she could enter. Azula had insisted on breaking the news to Ozai but Y/N didn't want to risk that psychopath venting his anger on Azula because of her actions. Azula left the room and told Y/N she could come in. Y/N stopped thinking and entered. Ozai was sitting at his desk reading a scroll. He didn't even bother to look up and said boredly:

Ozai: I hope you have a very good reason to bother me, Minister of Agriculture

Y/N: I look like an old man struggling to walk without a cane, Ozai?

Ozai gets up from the desk and for a few moments looks at the woman as if he saw Agni before him. The woman rolls her eyes but bites a sharp remark from her tongue. There are more important things than her pride at stake. She knows Ozai and knows that he is not extremely difficult to handle if you know what strings to pull. Ozai approaches her like a predator who doesn't want to lose his prey. She looks at him the way the old dragon tamers looked at a wild dragon. Yes, if she has to die, she will die fighting because she is a firebending master and is no longer afraid of burning herself.If the price to protect Azula and the rest of the world from this monster is her life, then she will pay it with a smile.

Although I do not own the characters from avatar the last airbender, this work belongs to me! I sincerely hope you liked it. please rate it and leave a comment! follow me to see my next posts! Don’t forget that the request are open💖💖💨

You can buy me a coffe if you want: buymeacoffee.com/TheAirNomad

Tell me if you want part 3!

271 notes · View notes

dollediary · 1 year

Text

He's Yours, But Am I?

pairings❥ jake x fem!reader

point of view❥ 3rd person

warnings❥ mentions of sex, body issues, dieting, signs of pregnancy, abandonment, slight verbal abuse, manipulation, unprotected sex

word count❥ 20.6k

genre❥ angst, smut

synopsis❥ falling in love with your friends with benefits is a difficult burden to carry. not using protection to feel closer to each other was fun until you missed your period, so what happens when your pregnancy test results come back positive? to you, it had been a dream come true; you knew you had to break the news to him eventually, and maybe you could finally confess your feelings to him. when you do finally tell him the news he tells you he isn't ready to be a father, requesting you to stop seeing each other. falling in love with your friends with benefits is a difficult burden to carry, but it in no way compares to being in love with your friends with benefits and having his child to carry.

note: i apologize for the absence. i was so emotionally invested in writing this story, so i just kinda lacked the motivation to wrote anything else. can't promise all of your previous requests will be fulfilled, but i'll do my best! please like, reblog, and interact as much as possible! it will help me get motivation to finish more stories and grant more requests. i'm super proud of this work, i think i'll do 3rd person from now on. i hope you all enjoy, let me know how you all like it!

"do you think i'm getting fat?" y/n asks her friend, chaewon, as she pinches her stomach, the almost unnoticeable weight gain making her frown at herself while she stood sideways in the mirror. chaewon frowns as she watched from the bed, she noticed y/n had been losing her glow ever since july ended, but she attributed it to their sophomore year in college that would be starting up again in weeks' time. y/n always lost her glow whenever school started back up.

"a little," chaewon replied honestly. "but that's normal! we've been eating well these days; it could just be a bloat, you know?" y/n thought about it for a second and nodded. that may have been the reason she's also been nauseous lately, too, having eaten more than her body could handle in the name of enjoying her summer break more. chaewon takes note of y/n's thoughtful silence, adding onto her statement, "we can always go to my pilates and yoga classes to change it back to normal if you want..?"

"maybe, i'm gonna wait a few days to see if it'll go down on its own first," y/n sighed, giving her reflection one last glance as she unfolded and pulled her oversized shirt down again, meeting chaewon on the bed with a jump and loud thud as she stared at the ceiling. chaewon only stared forward, continuing to watch tv as they stayed in a comfortable silence.

"you talk to hyunjin lately?" y/n asks chaewon, breaking the silence. chaewon only shrugs her shoulders in response.

"eh. how about you and jake?"

"we've been seeing each other in person more, and he's becoming more of a caller than a texter these days," she explains to which chaewon only responds with a hum of understanding.

"hyunjin and i are the kind who don't need to talk to each other everyday for our bond to be as strong as it is. when we're together, it's like he never left," the smile on chaewon's face awakens something in y/n: lovesickness. she pouts, but it's more of a pout of envy than jealousy, because she could never be jealous of her best friend.

"i wish i could relate," she groaned, turning to lay on her stomach as she receives a facetime call from jake. picking up the phone, she fights back a smile by biting the inside of her cheek. "hey, you!" her excitement comes out awkwardly, like a teenage girl trying to talk to her crush despite her heart and brain not cooperating normally like it had only seconds before.

"hey, y/n," he laughed, still not quite used to her shy demeanor on the phone. "you up to chill?" he asks, making y/n almost scream out a yes to him. but she couldn't, obviously. chaewon was over and she didn't want to kick her friend out just to hang out with a boy, especially knowing chaewon wouldn't do that to her.

"i would but my friend chae is hereㅡ"

"it's fine!" chaewon interrupts the girl, her head appearing behind y/n's in the tiny box as she waved to jake who responded with a nod. "i was just getting ready to head out soon," she walks closer, giving y/n a kiss on the cheek as y/n lowers the camera for privacy. "mwah. bye, i love you. let me know if the bloating goes down so i know whether to register you as my plus one for my next session."

"okay, okay. i love you too," y/n responds, chaewon leaving soon after. y/n finally moves her attention back to jake who was clearly eavesdropping the entire time with a cheeky smile on his face.

"bloating for what? are you on your period?" he asks, making her groan annoyed by his nosiness. "hey c'mon it's a natural thing, you can talk about it with me. plus, you know a period don't stop nothing but a sentence," he winks only making the girl groan more.

"you're gross," she gagged dramatically, making the boy burst out into a fit of laughter. "there's no way i'm having sex with you on my period," she added on, but he only laughed harder.

"why not? c'mon don't knock it till you try it! let's try it out today," he persists making her pout her lips as she thought about it. it could just be another thing she could cross off of her list of irrelevant things she did pertaining to sex.

"maybe, but i won't be getting my period for another week since i didn't come on it this week like the app said i would," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "huh. you didn't peg me to be the kind of guy who's into that stuff."

"oh, i'm not. but i think i'll be into anything that involves you, y/n."

"ugh, don't directly address me when you say things like that, you know how it gets me!"

"maybe i want you to get like that. how sexy is phone sex?"

"doesn't sound any better than real sex."

"maybe to you, i'm getting hard just listening to your voice."

"oh my god. goodnight, jake," y/n's eyes widened as she hung up, a small smile painting her lips.

waking up the next morning, and after immediately looking in the mirror, the bloating did not go down. a disappointed sigh left y/n's lips as she threw one of jake's sweatshirts over her tank top to cover the 'obvious' difference in her appearance as she made her way to campus, already dreading the day.

upon arrival, she met chaewon in their usual spots for their lecture, seeing the girl with coffee for the both of them. offering her friend a thankful smile, she took a sip of the coffee, eager for its bittersweetness to wake her up as it usually did. but her sip was quickly, and secretly spit back into the cup as an indescribable amount of disgust flooded her taste buds.

"jesus, who pissed in this coffee? it's disgusting," the girl asked, making her friend's eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. she'd known y/n's order by heart; it's been prepared by the same worker for months. y/n's never been dissatisfied with the taste of the coffee before.

"he's prepared it the same way he does every morning, so i'm confused," chaewon says, watching y/n try to give the coffee another chance by taking a longer sip, immediately gagging as she lets it drip back down into the cup again. now even the smell of it was unbearable. she pushes the coffee away all together.

"well it's shitty today, let's just get some more later," she responded, both girls shrugging it off as they listened to their professor's talking once again. y/n was tempted several times after the fact to drink the coffee, but she was too sickened by its taste and smell. she eventually got up and threw the whole cup away all together, hating the way her body was responding to it.

when lunch rolled around, it was safe to say they both had forgotten about the morning's coffee incident, and y/n was already more than excited to eat the lunch she had yet to order. though the summer sun hadn't gone yet, the heat was certainly making its way out. temperatures outside were fine, so the walk from their hall to the building holding the university's lunchroom went smoothly, however the air conditioning had murderous intent when they entered the building.

"god i hate this building," chaewon groans as she zips her jacket up, which worked to no avail as the fabric was nowhere near thick. y/n nodded in agreement as they both subconsciously agreed they'd eat quickly so they could just leave. getting into different lines, y/n walked over to the soup station, getting her favorite vegetable soup that always made the freezing AC temperatures more bearable. she fixes a smaller bowl than she usually would, already beginning her dieting journey to lose the weight she'd gained.

once she added her side dishes, she met chaewon at the table with the most sunlight shining through the big, wide open windows, eager to get the warmth that this building insisted heavily on denying.

"we should've just ordered takeout instead," y/n grumbled, sipping a spoonful of her soup juice as she closed her eyes, the steam from her soup fanning her face as a "thank you for choosing to eat me today." savoring the soup, as she usually did, she immediately cringed at the horrible taste that flooded her mouth. "my god, why is everything so shitty today? first the coffee, now this?" it was clear that her mood was plummeting from her sudden disdain towards the food she loved most. she pushed her tray away, saddened, making chaewon sigh with pity.

"do you just want some of my lasagna?" she knew y/n wouldn't want it, but she couldn't stand to see her best friend so upset about not being able to eat. it was a dumb question, because it was something y/n hated the most, but y/n nodded, pushing her tray over to the girl. chaewon is confused but gives her a reasonable amount to eat, not too much as it would go to waste if she didn't eat it, but not too little as to have her request for more in the event that it wasn't enough.

reluctantly, she takes her fork and digs into the lasagna, hating everything about it, but the smell seemed a lot more inviting that what it had been only months before, the time frame she first decided she hated the entree. taking a hesitant bite into it, her eyes shot wide open as she began chewing. it was delicious. and she didn't know why. she opted to eat more of it, quickly downing the food as she looked at chaewon, begging for more to which, of course, the girl obliged. she wasn't that hungry anyways.

days had gone by since y/n had found a new love for lasagna, she even branched out the different flavors they offered, becoming obsessed with the spinach-alfredo lasagna. they were two combinations she knew she'd usually hate being put together, but she couldn't stop eating them. and though chaewon never said it aloud, she was confused. so confused. especially confused when y/n had suddenly started gagging, on the verge of vomiting only minutes after she'd eaten so deliciously. but, she rushed to the bathroom with her friend, ready to assist her nonetheless.

it's was a sad thing for her, watching her friend look so sick and helpless over the toilet while her body kept forcing her food up, not even stopping after the fact that her stomach emptied, telling her she still needed to throw more up. when she finished, her whole body was shaking, and she was on the verge of tears from the burning she felt in her throat.

she insisted she was fine, her solution being to eat again to make up for the food lost, but after having several incidents of vomiting to the point of tears, all of them with chaewon being her personal witness, she couldn't quite convince the girl anything anymore, reluctantly having to agree to seeing the doctor and get to the bottom of it. but they weren't ready for any of the questions that the doctor would ask the poor, and naive, y/n.

"have you been sexually active in the last few months, miss l/n? more importantly, without protection?" doctor kim asks, taking both y/n and chaewon by surprise. she looks over to her friend, feeling uncomfortable by the question, but chaewon only gives her a sympathetic smile as she encourages her to answer the doctor.

"yes.. but i don't see why that matters?" y/n replies, essentially dismissing the doctor's question. there was no correlation between the two, she was just feeling a little under the weather. or maybe it was a result of her semi-depression from her weight gain? there were so many possibilities. "we think i may have a stomach bug," she adds on, making the doctor click his teeth in response. he sighs, adjusting his glasses as he looked past her, not wanting to cause conflict, but still needing to do his job.

"well, miss l/n, i'm not suggesting anything big, but since you have had unprotected sex, your symptoms are seeming to lean a lot toward-"

"i'm sorry ,doctor kim, but i don't need suggestions. i'm paying you to use your damn degree and use facts to get to the bottom of this, not suggest my symptoms have anything to do with the sex i have in my life," y/n spits out, grabbing chaewon's hand to lead her out the door.

"you go, i'll be a quick second," chaewon smiles at the agitated girl who only nodded as she stormed her way to the car. letting out the breath she'd been holding, she bowed apologetically to the doctor. "i'm sorry, doc. she's been really moody since she gained weight. she's usually the sweetest girl!"

"i see," he responds. "she may not be willing to right now, but i recommend coming back soon and getting an ultrasound to see if my thoughts may be correct," he says, getting ready to head out the room, since he no longer needed to be there, having other patients to tend to.

he'd already been long gone by then, but chaewon still responded to him. it was more for herself anyways. "i'll think about it."

looking in the mirror every morning became a habit for y/n. she absolutely hated the way she looked. she felt like she was in a body that wasn't her own, her mental health only worsening with each day she decides to stare in the mirror. she was lonely. she'd been skipping classes, telling chaewon she was just too lazy to go to, but doing that meant chaewon wouldn't be there to support her rapidly growing illness. and she couldn't just call jake, either. they argued too much and they both hated it, deciding that no contact was better than enduring the toxicity any longer.

but today, she couldn't endure not speaking to him any longer. she'd grown far more dependent on him, realizing her days of misery could only be made better by him. so, even though she knew that calling him most likely wouldn't end well, she hit the facetime button, watching with anticipation as she waited for him to pick up.

"y/n," his sigh of happiness only brought a smile to her face, and for a second everything felt better, even her stuffed nose seemed to clear for a second. her eyes watered, but she quickly blinked the forming tears away because no y/n you will NOT cry. "i missed you," he says, making her heart flutter as he frowned through the screen.

"i'm sorry," was all she could say, lumps forming in her throat. why did this have to make her so emotional? she'd never cried over something as simple as this before, it wasn't rare for jake to express his feelings for her in this way, but for whatever reason she decided that hearing all of this now meant and felt more than anything. "i missed you, too."

"how have you been?" he asks, making her lips form a thin line. she never did tell him of her illness, being scared that he'd stop coming over in fear of catching her symptoms.

"i've been bored, there's never anything to do these days, and i'm too lazy to go out."

"hm. then how about i come over and give you something to do?" his question was laced with suggestiveness, making her feel an uneasy amount of insecurity. she really wanted to have him come over, more than anything, but it just couldn't happen. not when she felt like this. and not when she looked like this either.

"i don't know, i'm pretty tired right now, too," she laughs nervously, making him sigh.

"please, y/n. it doesn't even have to be sex. i just want to be with you. i miss you," while it didn't seem like much to him to admit it, it meant the world to y/n. she felt like he really wanted her. and in a way, he did, so of course, she let her heart fall right into his arms. even though her doubts and insecurities begged her to say no, she refused to listen this time.

"okay," her heart was beating fast, unsureness running through her veins, but all of it was worth it. any ill feeling would be worth it if it meant she'd get to see his smileㅡ a smile that only existed because of her.

"say less," he giggled, hanging up the phone. she let out the breath she was holding, her senses awakening as she realized all of what she just agreed to. she looked at her outfit, too revealing for the way she was looking right now. "shorts are fine, but i need a bigger shirt," she spoke to no one but herself as she went to her closet to put on an oversized hoodie in hopes he wouldn't be able to see how "ugly" she'd become.

it didn't take long for him to arrive, engulfing her in his arms as soon as she opened the door. it was times like this that made her wonder, why would she even want to fight with him to begin with? she's head over heels in love with him; arguing with him only took away these moments from her. she couldn't stand it.

"pretty girl, you've lost your glow," he says after they pull away from their drawn out hug, grabbing her face, moving it around in his eyesight as he frowned. her eyes were accompanied with dark eye bags, her cheeks were puffy, and her skin seemed to have paled quite a bit since he'd last been over. she could only smile bitterly, that's what no sleep does to you, she thinks.

"it's because you haven't been here to shine on me," she laughed, taking his hand to walk to her bedroom where they both sat on her bed. he laughs along, happy upon the realization that they most likely wouldn't get into an argument since the majority of their arguments happened digitally.

"well we're together now, so that's all that matters," he says, making her smile. she nods, taking a second to look at him while he turns his attention to the tv, already browsing through netflix to put on a show or movie he thought they'd be able to enjoy. she didn't realize how fond she'd grown of him until now, but maybe she just forgets about it until moments like this come up for her to acknowledge them once again.

the universe was unfair to her, in more ways than one, but giving her this special relationship with jake made all of the hardships disappear. she liked jake. and even though she knew he didn't feel the same way, she liked that his actions made her feel like he did. and they shared a lot of intimate moments, so even if she didn't necessarily have the real label she wanted, there was nothing that could stop her from pretending.

maybe that's the thought that kept her going, allowing him to make himself at home in her heart more and more with each passing moment they shared. maybe that's what made her stop looking at other men the way she looked at him. maybe that's what accidentally brought her lips onto his, cupping his cheeks as her eyes closed in relief when he kissed her back. it was always heavenly to kiss jake, but this time it felt better than that. he kept her slow speed, not bothering to pull her on his lap, yet, as he was determined to savor this moment in fear of it never happening again. he moves his hand up to her cheek as she let hers fall down to her side, smiling into the kiss as he stroked her cheek lovingly.

it felt like an eternity, them staying like that. but, jake was never patient when it came to these things. and it wasn't far from how y/n was either, so naturally he attempted to escalate it, his body already anticipating how good they were going to make each other feel. but as soon as he attempted to slide his tongue in, y/n panicked, squeezing her eyes shut as she pulled away, face hot with embarrassment as she saw the confusion the boy had on his face.

"is everything okay?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder gently so as to not startle the girl more than he already seemed to. she averted eye contact, but nodded nonetheless. "did i do something wrong? did i make you uncomfortable-?" he asked further, thoughts spinning around his head as to why she'd pull back.

"no i'm sorry," cutting him off, her voice was low as she didn't really want him to hear her confessionㅡ afraid it would spiral into another argument given her contradicting actions. "i just.. dont want to have sex," all the thoughts and reasons he'd listed before flew out the window, his mind going quiet as did he.

"you're seeing someone else. is that it?"

"wha- no, jake! i just-"

"there's nothing else it could be," he says, making her frown. jake had been suspecting this for a while. he'd never had any problems with her whenever they called or facetimed, or even texted before. but for the past few weeks, that's all that's been happening. he'd somehow say the 'wrong' thing and she'd blow off on him, it would spiral into something worse, then they would just stop talking until one of them texts again. the last time he'd gone through that, his fling ended up leaving him and moving onto a serious relationship, something they swore they would never be able to doㅡ well, clearly not with him at least.

"jake, i swear it's not like that!" y/n's heart was beating out of her chest, she could feel his sadness even though everything he said was monotone. he was hurting over something that she wasn't even doing. and the way he already seemed so sure of it? it made her wonder how long he'd been feeling this way.

"then why do you keep leading me on and then backing out when you're the one who initiated it? are you seeing someone else, y/n?" his eyes were starting to gloss over, and she hated it. so, so much. she didn't know what to do. admitting the truth would only make him leave. her silence only further proved the point he convinced himself that he was making. adding fuel to the fire- "do i only tempt you enough to try but not go through with it? am i SO bad at fucking you that you have to go find someone else to do bette-"

"i'm not thin anymore, okay?!" she finally had the courage to cut him off, tears streaming down her face that had become hot from her frustrations caused by his baseless, but very, very hurtful accusations.

"what?"

"i've gotten fat. and-," she sighed, trying to regain her composure. "i want so badly to have sex with you, but i'm scared. i'm scared that i'll take off these baggy clothes and- you'll be disgusted by my body and leave me. i would never be so evil as to go out of my way to cheat and hurt you. this is only happening because i hate myself and my body for what it's becoming. i can't let you see me be like this."

"baby..." his voice is soft, contradicting the anger it projected only moments before. even though that one word was a great comfort to her, it only worsened her rainfall of tears as she allowed herself to break down in his arms. it was something he'd never understand. she was beautiful in his eyes, nothing would change that. "i don't care if you gain weight, or lose weight. hell, you could wake up bald and i would still find you to be the sexiest girl alive. don't you ever think otherwise."

she nodded, pulling away to look him in the eyes, her pout failing to disappear despite the fact that she was starting to feel a little bit better about it. he smiled at her bringing his lips to her forehead for a kiss, then to each individual cheeks, then finally to her lips in a kiss that was sweeter than the one shared beforeㅡ only she would let it escalate this time.

pulling back, she looked him lovingly in the eyes. they were shining the same way hers were as he pulled her back in for a hard, but not too hard, peck on the lips, more following after them as he wanted to bask in all the moment had to offer. her giggle only made him smile as he pecked her lips one last time before he went to shower each cheek with kisses as well. once he felt he'd spread the love there enough, he tilted her head to the side, trailing kisses over her neck, not any lower as his sweatshirt was in the way. moving back up, he kissed her ear before he whispered a low "take this off," while tugging on the sweatshirt that had now become a barrier between the two of them.

obeying his request, she lifted the fabric off, throwing it across the room as her body shivered from the temperature change on her bare arms. he laughed, latching his mouth back onto her neck, this time carefully sucking, leaving his own marks of love behind for her to be able to look back to if she were to question his love for her again. tugging the bottom of her shirt as she assisted him in lifting it off her head, the shirt being carelessly thrown somewhere across the room like the jacket.

he changed his position, kneeling with either knee on her side as he pushed her slightly to lay her down on the bed. he stared down at her body, scanning the beauty she was. it was then that she realized she had nothing to cover her top half, her stomach was on display for him to see and, despite his comforting words, she became embarrassed. not wanting to make it obvious that she was feeling insecure, she pulled him down to connect their lips together. letting their tongues dance with one another, he lets his hands travel down her sides, moving to spread her legs for him to grind his crotch against her, the sensations leaving them both gasping at how much they'd been neglecting their sexual needs with their petty arguments.

"fuck," she moaned into his mouth which only drove him crazy. god, words couldn't explain how much he loved those sounds she made. he pulled away, going to take off his shirt while she nearly drooled at the sight of it. everything about that man was perfect to her.

"fuck, y/n," he breathed out as he kept rolling his hips against hers, biting his lip to hold back the lewd sounds his body begged him to make. "how am i supposed to go slow when you're this sexy without trying?" his words made her tear up as she covered her face which was now hot with her shyness. the sight of it made his hips stutter, of course only she could bring him that close to climax without doing anything but being her.

he moved away from her, the warmth they shared being the first thing they missed as he pulled her shorts down, throwing it across the room as she leaned forward to pull his sweatpants down enough for him to scoot out of on his own. his cock sprung up, hitting his lower abdomen as she stared at it in all its glory: fully erect, reddened tip glistening with precum. just how she liked it. they both giggled at the fact that they both were intentionally not wearing underwear. "wanted to fuck me that bad, huh?" he smirked, leaning down to connect their lips in a kiss which she smiled in. when he pulled away she smirked back at him.

"i could say the same, baby."

he sucked in a breath, halfway opening his eyes as he began lightly stroking himself, making sure to make eye contact with her. "ah- y/n, you don't know what you do to me," he whimpered as she could only watch him with doe eyes. before he could get too comfortable stroking himself, and before she could get too comfortable watching the show, he rubbed his tip through her folds, then circled her clit (just to make her feel good) before he slowly inserted himself in.

she winced at the stretch, it really had been a while since they last had sex. he bit his lip as he pushed all the way in, unmoving. he moved his hand down, using his thumb to rub on her clit which resulted in her clenching around him. he slightly threw his head back, sighing in content at the feeling. "that's right. keep doing that," he says as he pulls out nearly all the way, only to slam himself back in completely before he decided on a pace. everything about their togetherness was just right. they knew exactly how to make each other feel good. that's what lovemaking to them was. they didn't need to be slow paced or have foreplay or perform oral before they fucked; the love showed in the way they could absorb every essence of each other's being. the way their energies combined and turned them into one.

his pace wasn't too slow, nor was it too fast. it was just enough for her to feel all of him, and it was enough to hit all the right spots, wherever she needed him most. the room was silent except for the small sounds of pleasure they both made, accompanied with the sex sounds their bodies created. he leaned forward, connecting their lips in a sweet kiss, cause everyone knows he couldn't get enough of kissing her. she returned the kiss, tears prickling in her eyes from how good everything was feeling. she loved this. she loved him. "i'm close, baby," he pulled back to announce, speeding his strokes up ever so slightly as he chased his high.

"me too," she announced, this time clenching around him more while her heartbeat only raced, each thrust bringing her closer. he rubbed circles around her clit faster as her moans started becoming more vocal, the pitch raising with each thrust until one thrust finally hit the spot. "ah, jake dont stop," she begged as he sped up to chase his own high. "dont pull out, it's okay! fuck i wanna feel it." he couldn't hold back any longer upon her words, thrusting one last time before he came to a complete stop, filling her with his seed.

"fuck," he breathed out, slowly lowering himself to be on top of her. he scooted so that she could be able to lay her head on his. it wasn't often that jake would stay cuddled up to her after they finished having sex, but he felt like he owed it to her for how shitty he had made her feel without knowing the full story. it wasn't often that he whispered sweet little nothings into her ear while stroking her hair, but tonight (despite their strict forbidden rule of affection) it felt needed. and he was willing to give her anything he felt like she needed. every action and choice he decided to make only further showed that he loved her, in a way.

even though he was sure he wasn't capable of feeling it anymore, this special relationship jake shared with her made all of his doubts about love disappear. he liked y/n. and even though it was something he'd never be able to express or accept it, he'd let his emotions be shown in the moment as they were. and, like most of everything that they did that didn't make sense, it always seemed to work out.

the sun shining through the blinds, accompanied with the unforgiving air conditioning that froze her skin, y/n yawned as she got up, rubbing her eyes. pulling the blanket up to cover her body, she looked next to her for jake, but he wasn't there. she knew that regardless of how affectionate he was last night that there'd be a chance he would still leave during the night, but it hurts to know that no matter what he'd say or do, he'd still be gone in the morning.

her tears start their early morning shift, brimming in her eyes as she pouted at the whole idea of him leaving her altogether. the tears turning into a rainfall of agony as she sobbed to her heart's content, only to be interrupted by her overwhelming need to puke. running to the bathroom she can't make it to the toilet, having to quickly choose between the floor or the sink, her brain choosing the latter of the two.

holding the edge of the sink, her head was bent over so as to not make too much of a mess. she let her first round of puke come up, feeling disgusted with herself for not being quicker. one she was finished she barely had time to recover as she took the chance to run to the toilet, finally being able to vomit there as she originally intended. it hurt and tasted like hell after she was finished, but that of course wouldn't be the end of her misfortune. upon hearing her alarm go off, she realized that she only had 15 minutes to get ready.

snoozing the alarm she immediately dialed chaewon's phone, screaming incoherent words as a weak attempt to ask for help. chaewon's eyes widened as her car's speaker blasted y/n's crying into her ears. "woah, woah, woah!" chaewon said, cutting the girl's screaming off. "talk in a way where i can understand you."

"i keep- i can't stop throwing up, i'm scared i wont be able to make it to school!" she cries out. "please chaewon, i know i ask for a lot but i need you right now," she begs the girl who was only two or three turns away from the university building. as the red light finally turned green, she sighed, making a turn that led her back on the path from where she'd originally traveled to come to school.

"i'm on my way," she lets y/n know, making her way to the nearest drugstore to make a quick purchase. y/n sighs of relief, her tear stained cheeks lifting slightly as she smiled at her friend's support through her hardships.

"thank you, chae," she says, holding onto her now empty and hurting stomach. "i'll make it up to you."

"you don't have to make anything up to me y/n. you need my help, so i'm giving it to you. just please take care of yourself until i get there, i have to make a quick stop, okay?" she says as she gets out of the car, her phone call disconnects from the car and back to her phone.

"okay," y/n sniffles as she begins coughing up a storm, gagging as she tried her best to hold down another load of vomit.

"okay, i'll hang up first. bye."

not waiting for a response, she ends the call and walks into the store. after a quick search, she immediately went over to the corner where the items lay bare for everyone to see. she picked up one of the pregnancy tests, ignoring the looks she felt on her. it was nobody's business anyways. when she went over to the register, older customers gave her judging looks, which she only smiled in return at. as soon as she got to the front, she smacked the box down, not bothering to get any other items as it would just add onto her time in the building.

"what are you hoping for?" the young cashier attempts to ask her kindly, but you can tell she was judging her too. if it had actually been chaewon in this situation where she'd need the pregnancy test for herself, she would have been passive back, but it's not her. so she didn't need to be letting it get in her head regardless of how stressful it was to be here.

"a girl," she puts on a fake smile and enthusiastic voice, praying the kid would hurry up and scan the item. once she was done doing that, she put the item in a plastic bag, quickly handing it to her.

"wishing you the best of luck as a mother!" she says to which chaewon could only nod at as she rushed out of the building and back into her car. now, chaewon wasn't the kind of citizen to speed. she knew it wasn't safe for anyone and honestly she hated it because it never felt nice to her body, especially when she was the one behind the wheels. but after the call with y/n, she had to because she knew how much y/n needed her there.

when she had let herself in using the key that y/n gifted her months ago, she ran quickly to see the girl's head hanging carelessly in the toilet as she barely moved. "y/n?" she asks, going over to her. y/n only hummed in response to assure the girl that she was still conscious. she wanted to talk, but everytime she tried to muster up words, that awfully familiar gagging overpowered her. and she didn't want to go through throwing up again, so she gave up, resorting to laying in her misery as there was nothing more she could do.

"gross, y/n," chewon says as she moves over to the sink where it was filled with her vomit, the scent making chaewon gag a little. she turns the sink water on, going under the sink to get some bleach out in hopes of it helping with washing it down. "you couldn't make it to the toilet in enough time?"

"no," y/n cries out, voice hoarse from all of it already as she gags more, another load of vomit forcing its way up as the scent of her throw up and bleach met her nose. chaewon yelps as she helps the girl throw up smoothly, holding her hair back until her body finally realizes she couldn't throw up anymore, though it was already too late by now.

the cleanup process went a lot smoother than they both expected. chaewon ordered y/n to get a sip of water to soothe her throat while she busied herself with cleaning the sink and the toilet since y/n was already so careful not to make a mess anywhere else. when both of them were finished, they laid on y/n's bed with chaewon stroking y/n's hair, the pregnancy test being the only thing on her mind. she was torn. she didn't know if she should bring it up to her, but it was the only thing on her mind since they first went to her doctor's appointment. she also was scared it would upset y/n. her emotions were unstable as of lately, and she didn't want to be on the receiving end of it, at least not now.

"y/n?" she finally speaks up after a few more minutes of internal conflict about it. y/n hummed in response. "you and jake don't use protection, right?" she asks, making y/n groan annoyed. "don't catch an attitude with me, just answer the question."

"we don't use protection, chaewon."

"okay then does he like, you know, pull out?" she asks further, making y/n stiffen up in embarrassment.

"yes."

"are you sure?"

"yes chae! god damn it," y/n says as she finally catches onto what chaewon was suggesting, blowing off the steam that was building up. it makes chaewon a bit more hesitant, but she has to do this for her; she didn't want y/n to keep living in denial if she didn't have to.

"y/n, i need you to think really hard about this. i get that you're frustrated, but i'm only asking because i want to help you... please. there has to be a time when you weren't sure if he did or not. or maybe he was a little too late to?" she is careful with her words, but they still manage to break y/n's walls down as she bursts into tears upon remembering the one important night she had so carelessly forgotten.

"there was- uh one night," she says. "i don't remember if he'd pulled out soon enough because we were both too tired to be safe about it."

"do you remember when?"

"i think it was sometime last month, but i don't really remember. all I know is that i texted you to hang out the day after because the sleep i got was so good. god chae, i don't even want to think that this could be a possibility," y/n was exasperated. she didn't want to be pregnant. anything but that. but chaewon just kept pushing the idea in her head, making her terrified that it'd be an actual possibility.

"i know, love, but i'm asking this for your own good. now, i have something for you, but you can't freak out okay?" she says as she lifts the girl's head off of her stomach, leaning into her bag to pull out the box she'd purchased.

"okay," y/n says as she looks over to chaewon's busy hands as she puts the box behind her back. "can i see?"

"okay, breathing under control?" chaewon asks. y/n nods. "and don't. freak. out. it's going to be okay," she adds on. y/n nods again as she breathes steadily, her eyes closing as she gathers her senses together without anticipating what chaewon could give her. "keep your eyes closed and just grab the box i'm about to put in your hands.

following her instructions, she gripped onto the box as soon as she felt it in her hands. opening her eyes, she couldn't help but tear up at the sight of it. she knew that her friend would give it to her eventually, but now? she wasn't ready. her grip on the box tightened as she shook her head.

"it's okay, y/n. calm down. breathe, then get up and go take the test," chaewon said, lifting the girl up as another form of encouragement. "no matter what the test says, i'm here with my undying support for you. fighting girl!"

"fighting," y/n sniffles as she goes into the bathroom, leaving an emotional chaewon behind. she sighs, laying down again to stare at the ceiling, her own tears starting to form. it hurt. all of it. from having y/n taking her frustrations out on the girl, down to each tear that spilled from y/n's eyes as she realized her life could truly be changing. she hated seeing her best friend cry, especially knowing that she didn't deserve any of that heartache. it felt selfish to sit and cry about it as if she were the one in y/n's place, but she couldn't help it.

taking a shaky breath, she exhaled in an attempt to calm herself down. she needed to be rational. if this is hard for me, then it must be hell for y/n. she quickly wipes her tears as y/n screams and falls to the bathroom floor, only a few minutes after waiting for the results. chaewon ran into the bathroom, shocked by the solemn scene in front of her. y/n, with shaky hands, held up the test to the girl's face. it was an unmistakable "YES+" on the stick. with widened eyes, chaewon pulled the sobbing girl into a hug. y/n was actually pregnant. and with jake's child at that.

"i don't want it!" she cries out as chaewon nods, quickly removing one arm from her as she began looking up clinics for an abortion.

"okay, i found some clinics," the girl says. "we can set up an appointment when you're all calmed down, okay?"

"okay."

"now let's get you to bed; you look terrible," she helped y/n clean herself up, brushing her tasseled hair into a low ponytail, washing and moisturizing her dry face, putting her pregnancy test into a bag just in case. by the time they were finished, the atmosphere had calmed down and everything seemed okay now that y/n came to terms with her conditions. she was just glad that this would all be over soon.

when the two girls finally got settled down, they decided tonight it'd be best if y/n wasn't left alone. cuddling while watching bojack horseman, talking didn't seem all that important now that y/n had a warm embrace that wouldn't leave her in the middle of the night. she nuzzles her head into chaewon's neck with a yawn. "thank you for taking care of me, chae. i love you." it catches chaewon by surprise, but she just silently smiles, deciding not to say anything since y/n was audibly snoring by now. looking down at her best friend's sleeping figure, she pauses the show and prays to god that y/n, and everything, will be okay.

august 31st. today was the day y/n's life would change forever. she wondered why nobody told her that the drive to the clinic would be so gut wrenching. when she arrives, she signs in for her appointment and sits down to wait. she got a good look around the building. there were many people here, some accompanied by lovers, others with parents, while there was the noticeable few who were alone like she was. the air wasn't as thick as she'd anticipated, but she learned from chaewon that not everyone who went to these buildings were there for abortions. a big part of her was jealous of that because oh how nice would it have been to have been able to find comfort in such a heavy decision. but the other part was thankful; she wouldn't wish this dreadful feeling on her worst enemy, and yet here she was, feeling it to its fullest extent.

chaewon sadly couldn't make it. well, y/n wouldn't allow her to, begging her not to miss any more days. it was a difficult thing to convince her, since she knew chaewon could switch to online school like she temporarily opted to do for a more flexible schedule during her pregnancy until she could put an end to it and go back to her regular classes. she'd already caused chaewon to miss so much, she'd feel guilty if she'd done it again, even if right now all she could do was wish she let herself be selfish one last time because all she wanted was to be comforted by the only person who could possibly understand her problems without judgment. she sighed, sinking down into her seat as she watched the muted television on the screen, praying her turn would come soon so she could get out of this place.

"y/n l/n?" a sweet nurse's voice called out as she looked around the waiting area. y/n's eyes widened as they were met with the nurse's who beckoned her over. her heart was beating fast as she walked behind the lady who was escorting to one of the clinic rooms where she would soon be met with the doctor who would be performing the abortion. being left alone in the room was either one of the best case scenarios right now, or possibly the worst. she could be alone for a second to calm down, or she could potentially break down before the doctor could even speak a word to her. deciding she's already cried enough tears this month, she opted to taking a deep breath to remind herself that this was her decision to make, and this was what she wanted.

"good evening, miss l/n, i'm doctor kim," a voice spoke as it entered the door. y/n turned her head slightly to the woman. she was around her mid-forties, but something about her reminded her of her mother, her aura was comforting in that sense. "i assume you're here to get an abortion performed?"

"yes, doctor," y/n responds, lowering her head since she'd suddenly become afraid to make eye contact with the woman upon the mention of the specific procedure that was soon to be performed.

"oh, miss l/n," the doctor pouted, making y/n look up at her. "before we start, i'm legally obligated to tell you the process before we perform it," the doctor explained as she placed her gloves on with a slight smacking sound. y/n nodded, then the process explanation began. as the words spilled out of doctor kim's mouth, y/n couldn't help but feel sick to her stomach. her brain started zoning out everything the doctor was saying, the only phrase she could hear in her head was her brain telling her to get out. all she could think to herself was i don't wanna do this anymore. what felt like hours, but was only around ten minutes later, the doctor finally brought her attention back with a clap.

"so?" she asks. "are you ready?" offering a comforting smile that made y/n feel anything but. she could hear her heart beating inside her chest, her breathing suddenly drowning out all the noise around her. suddenly everything felt all too much yet nothing at all. she stayed still, trying her best to process her emotions, to state her peace, or to just right out leave.

"i need to use the restroom," she squeaked out, tears brimming in her eyes as she avoided any form of eye contact with the older lady in front of her. doctor kim senses the mood shift and sighs. this was an often occurrence, so she could only understand where the girl was coming from.

"look, kid. abortion isn't for everyone," she says placing her hand on her shoulder. "you're young so you think it's the only option for you, but it isn't. there are lots of good young mothers. you can do this. i don't want you to make a decision you'll end up regretting for the rest of your life. i can see you care about your baby. give them a chance at life, give yourself this chance in life."

y/n frowns, her lips quivering as the building tears spill from her eyes. "i'm sorry," she says, burying her head inside her hands. "i'm so sorry," she apologizes, unsure what she's really sorry for, she just felt like this was all she could say.

"don't be sorry, miss l/n," doctor kim responds, helping the girl to get off her feet, taking her over to the sink to help her get herself together again. "you know, you can always come back again. we give free ultrasounds, i'm sure you'd love to see your little angel growing."

”i'll try my best," she responds as soon as the tears subside. they bid their farewells and just like that, y/n was on her way back home. and, though she felt a huge burden had been lifted off of her shoulder, she was devastated. she had to tell jake.. and that was the biggest burden of it all. exhaustion was the first thing to hit her once she arrived back inside, she was so exhausted that she almost didn't take her shoes off at the doorㅡ almost. she goes to lay down, flopping on her bed to stare at the ceiling. it was weird. this has been the first time she didn't feel the need or want to cry. instead, her brain was doing its best to think logically despite not knowing exactly what to do.

she knows one thing for sure, though: she has to call jake immediately to have him come over to break the news to him, but the problem was that she was scared. she knew without a doubt that jake adored her, but he didn't love her. they were fuck buddies, not lovers, so in terms of what she could expect from him, there was nothing. she was at a complete blank, her only way of finding out would be to put herself in the position to do so. and though she hated the idea of having to do it, it wasn't just some decision she could just back out of. so, she picks up her phone, her hand shaking as she clicks the button to dial his number. the phone rang a few times before his sweet voice sung into her ear. "hello?" he asks, making her fears start to pile up. what exactly was she supposed to say to him?

"can you come over?" she asks, her voice tinier than the sureness she was feeling. "please, like hurry up. i'm sorry for everything, i can't be on the phone too long, just hurry up." upon hearing that, jake's heart broke into pieces. he could barely process what was happening, all he knew was that he was rushing out the door and into his car as he sped to her house. after she ended the call, she released the breath she was holding, getting up to look at herself in the full body mirror. she lifted her tank top up, rubbing her 2 months pregnant belly as a river of relief washed over her. there was something so comforting about the "weight gain" now. and she decided that, no matter what, she was going to keep it. in the midst of admiring her changing body, she jumps upon hearing jake's banging on the door.

he was anxious, thinking the worst upon her sudden call that lacked context, but he didn't want to assume the worst as he was still feeling guilty about what happened last time he'd said his unspoken insecurities aloud. with her heart beating fast, she opens the door and silently lets him in. stay calm, y/n. she keeps reminding herself in her mind as she knew that was the best way to get through this challenge. she ushers for him to sit on the bed, quietly taking a seat next to him but with great distance as she was still fearful. he notices this, so when they finally make eye contact she could see the insecurities blooming through. and it broke her. "i'm so sorry," she bawls out, throwing herself onto him. her tears dont catch him by much surprise, but it doesn't stop him from feeling the emotional toll from them. he is sad, but he accepts the pitiful embrace. she's really done it, he cries to himself, the tears landing on top of her head.

he doesn't even want to ask who, why, or even why he couldn't just be enough for her. he just wants to lie and pretend it's all okay so that she'll stay with him, even if he'll regret it. "i'm so sorry," she apologizes for the hundredth time, to which he once again responds with his verbal forgiveness. she hated it. she hated being a coward in that sense. she hated not being able to tell him of her pregnancy, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. "please don't leave me tonight," she begs as she was scared to wake up without him again because there was no certainty that he'd ever come back. he gulps in an attempt to swallow the lump forming in his throat. it doesn't work. "okay," he responds, not sure of what else he could possibly say to her. how can you comfort someone when you're in need of comfort, too? "i mean it, jake, i can't stand waking up without you, at least not now," y/n admits and it hurts jake. "promise me you'll be here when i wake."

"i promise," he says, determined to fulfill whatever need she asked from him in hopes of her continued loyalty to him. "i'll stay forever if i need toㅡ if you need me to," he says as if his honesty wasn't convincing enough. she knows he doesn't mean it in the way she needs him to, but she still lets his words comfort those unheard doubts that are plaguing her mind. she eventually pulls away, looking him in the eyes as she offers a bitter smile. she brings her thumbs up to wipe his tears away. "there's nobody else, jake," she says, seemingly being able to reassure him without him having to say a word. he sighs, and smiles back at her, choosing not to question the real issue she wanted to bring up to him. if it hurt her that much, he would wait longer to find out. but, to him, nothing could be worse to him than her finding a new man. so he'd be ready to accept and forgive anything else that she felt would burden him.

"let's just sleep," he says, laying down. she nods, moving so that he could lay on her chest. her heart was racing; she could never get used to the feeling he gave her. he smiled at the rate it was going. all of that was for him. oh, if only he knew that all those unspoken feelings were mutual. maybe then things would be easier for the two of them. but, as of right now, they would both continue to suffer in this lovesick state.

it was easy to fall asleep with him like that, and it was even easier to wake up with him in her arms. the sun was shining on them, the AC's temperature was just right for the two of them who had forgotten to get under the blanket, and the air was calm. it was a state of being that she didn't want to leave, but she had no knowledge of his work schedule, so she needed him to be up. she kisses the top of his head shyly. he scrunches his nose while she continues doing it until he moves enough for her to understand that he, too, was awake. "good morning," his voice was groggy as he was still not fully awake. she doesn't respond, letting him get up to freshen up. he walks into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet to go about his business. once he finishes, he flushes and goes to look at himself in the mirror.

his hair was disheveled and his eyes were puffy, but he felt like a million bucks as he smiled at his reflection. "nobody else, huh?" he giggles, smile widening as he applied the soap on his hands to wash them. once he finished washing them, he began drying them off on the towel as he started wondering what she had to tell him last night.

when he goes back out, he finds y/n in the kitchen grabbing some frozen breakfast burritos out of the freezer, the meal that had become one of her recent food obsessions. "baby?" he calls to get her attention, failing to see the smile she cracked as her back was turned to her. she only hums in response as she continues to plate two burritos for herself. "i'm not gonna push you to tell me anything, but i just want you to know that whatever it is that's burdening you, it's something we can get through together. there's nothing that can possibly drive me away from you. i'm ready to listen whenever you're ready to tell me."

her moves falter a bit, but she regains her composure and continues preparing her breakfast. once the microwave beeped, she met him at the table, opting to eat as a way to get her thoughts together, his words ringing through her head as she did so. when she was finished chewing her first few bites, she cleared her throat. "i'm pregnant," her voice held no emotion, so little that you wouldn't be able to tell her nervousness had it not been for her hands shaking as she held the fork midair.

"i-" he paused, not knowing exactly what to say. he was in shock. and, from the looks on her face, he knew that it couldn't be a pregnancy scare because it looked like this has been weighing her down for a while. he knew his reaction to this information would be contrary to his previous words, but he didn't expect it to be this serious. "are you sure it's mine?" he asks, breaking her heart. a huge part of him could believe she was pregnant; everything was starting to make sense from her weight gain to her overly emotional state, all the way down to her eating habitsㅡ he knew she absolutely hated burritos.

"there's nobody else, jake," her voice cracked as she offered him a small smile, the corners of her lips barely lifting as she did so. oh how comforting those words were to hear last night, but now they struck him in the worst ways possible. she looked at him, his expression unreadable as he stared directly through her each time she'd lift her eyes to check his gaze. the cat was already out of the bag, so what's the harm in emptying the mess it left behind? "and i... i want to keep it." he didn't know what to say. he didn't know what to do. and he didn't want to hurt her, but what about himself? he isn't a bad guy. it takes two to get knocked up but-

"i'm not ready to be a father," his words came out quietly, scared that hearing it himself would make the guilt he felt feel worse. and it did. the look on her face when she finally looked him in the eyes, if her glow was already dull, he'd taken it away. the words already did their damage, now he has to stay true to them. he got up from the table, hands shaky as he pushed the chair in without a word and he offers her an apologetic bow as if that could take everything back. "i'm sorry y/n." he didn't know what he expected. who would forgive a deadbeat anyways. she didn't say a word, opting to keep her head down in shame. she stayed that way, not even bothering to move even after she heard the door close behind him, announcing his genuine departure from the home.

y/n wasn't nearly as sad as she thought she'd be. chaewon was right, it would hurtㅡ and for a long time it did. "but once you feel okay, even for a second, everything will be okay," she told y/n. and that's what it was, after 2 months of tears, her brain shifted its focus from the pain of his absence to the changes her body was making. she noticed the small bump in which the baby was forming became more noticeable in her shirts. deciding to embrace this, she stopped wearing baggy clothes. and chaewon never failed to remind her how beautiful she looked whenever they'd go out. she noticed she started to gain weight, but it didn't make her upset.

instead of looking in the mirror with disgust, like she had done before she found out about her pregnancy, she spent her lonely nights smiling in the mirror as she rubbed her tummy. her earlier pregnancy symptoms started to lessen, and her eagerness to visit the doctors increased as she was always excited to look at her ultrasound. she no longer dealt with nausea, being able to feed both herself and the baby without fear of regurgitation, but she soon found that her stamina had also begun to change. she spent most of her off days homebound, as moving around too much could easily take her breath away.

"alright, ms.l/n," the doctor says, spreading the ultrasound gel onto y/n's tummy, the coolness giving her chills as its temperature mixed with the cold air that the air conditioner blew. "let's see how this little rascal is coming along, shall we?" doctor kim asks, moving the transducer around as real time images of the fetus started coming onto the screen. y/n tilts her head backwards to look at the screen, smiling at it.

"aww, it's got its thumb in its mouth," she cooed, putting on a happy pout to chaewon who was indulging in the screen as well. taking her eyes off of it, she signaled the doctor's attention while y/n stayed in a daze, watching her baby as it minded its business in her tummy. "are we going to be able to tell it's gender soon?" chaewon asks, making the doctor nod in response. "how long will that be?" she adds on, making the doctor think about how far along y/n was by now.

"we should be able to tell in the next week or so, from what i'm seeing, if its a male, its genitals haven't developed yet, so we'll have to wait to see if any more developments, in that sense, occur," doctor kim says, moving the transducer more around the head area. "we'll have to develop the photos before you leave, miss l/n."

"oh, please, doctor!" y/n exclaims excitedly as she continued to watch the screen. "oh my room is gonna be filled with framed pictures of these!" she claps, making the other two girls in the room smile at her joy. it was a huge change in attitude from what they'd seen just five months before. clapping her hands together, doctor kim begins to clean up the gel and transducer, putting the items away as she begins the printing process for the ultrasound pictures.

once chaewon and y/n left, they decided to go to the store to get more groceries. "i want fruit roll ups," y/n said as she looked at the aisle signs, searching for the one that displayed where the snacks were. once she spotted it, she dragged chaewon, who was holding the cart, directly to the aisle. chaewon could only giggle at her friend with the roll of her eyes. "we gotta get some healthy snacks too, love. how about some nature valley bars?"

"i don't know..." y/n responded. "i just want something sweet and chewy right now, but i could go for some dorito chips right now if you want me to eat something crunchy," she says, mouth watering at the idea of it. "nope. nope, nope, nope, nope," chaewon says, grabbing y/n's hand while she used the other one to steer out of the unhealthy aisle that they'd already stepped foot in. "we're not feeding your baby that junk, let's just stick to fruits, okay?"

y/n grumbles a complaint under her breath, but she complies as they go to the produce aisle. "let's get chocolate syrup, too. for the strawberries," she begged, which chaewon mindlessly nodded to at this point, being too busy putting boxes of berries into the cart. "then go get 'em," she says, shooing the unoccupied girl. y/n nodded as she walked over to the isle where it'd be held. she hummed a nameless tune as she looked around for the brand she wanted. picking up two different bottles, she pouted in thought, turning her head back and forth from them.

hearing a groan out of nowhere, with a familiar base in the voice, she scrunches her eyebrows and turns to where it came from. her heartbeat picked up as a distracted and frustrated jake came into her view, only around 5 feet away from her. just then, she felt a sting in her stomach. "fuck," she cursed to herself. the baby was kicking. she, with shaky hands, quickly threw one of the chocolate bottles back onto the shelf as she waddled away as quickly as possible. it had been so long since she felt the rush jake gave her. she was no longer mad at him because of what he did to her, but she was still pissed off at what he didn't and wouldn't do for their baby. "were you kicking me because you couldn't kick daddy?" she cooed rubbing her stomach as she saw chaewon rolling over to her.

"what about the baby's daddy?" chaewon asked as they began walking side by side. y/n snarled. he really doesn't deserve to be called that. she thought. but she quickly returned to her normal friendly gaze as soon as she met chaewon's eyes. "we, well i saw jaeyun in the syrup aisle, and the baby started kicking me. i think he did it because he couldn't kick him."

"he?"

"huh? oh yeah. i've got a feeling he's a boy, my girl wouldn't use me as her punching bag," she joked as she rubbed where the baby was adamant on kicking about. chaewon smiled at the sight, moving the girl's hand to replace it with her own. it almost brought her to tears as they got into the shortest line. after they'd finished paying and packing the groceries up, they were on their way back to y/n's home.

chaewon shared side glances at the girl while she sang along happily to the tunes that were blasting on the radio. she was starting to realize just how real this was and how far y/n had gotten over the course of this half year. "you're gonna be an amazing mother, you know that?" she says catching y/n by surprise as she stops mid lyric. the radio's volume didn't change, but the world went silent and everything seemed to come to a complete pause as y/n's lips trembled into a small smile, eyes watering as she did so.

in the past six months of her developing pregnancy, she was never told this. of course chaewon has always praised her for her strength, and her parents had offered support though they were disappointed, nobody has ever told her that she'd be a good mother. and, though it's something most mothers would look over, it meant the world to her because she felt like she would be anything but. she didn't realize how long she'd been crying until she no longer felt the car moving as chaewon pat her on the back in a comforting manner. "shh, it's okay. it's okay.. i promise you will be," she says, making the girl's tears pour faster.

"thank you so much," she cried out, allowing her body to milk the tears as she regulated her breathing. "i don't know why that made me cry so much, i think it's been something i've been needing to hear for a long time, you know?" she admitted, sniffling a bit. chaewon nodded, but didn't speak. she realized y/n probably wanted to say more. and she was right. "it's just.. without jake, i didn't think i could do it. i was so ashamed that he didn't want us, i thought that i would end up not wanting the baby, too. but i kept it because i knew that it deserved a chance. and i've been doubtful about my abilities as a mother, thinking i'm not good enough. but hearing that made all of this worth it, i have to be a good mother to it."

"i know, baby," chaewon said, kissing the top of her head. "now let's get you home, okay?" y/n nodded as chaewon restarted the car and finished their journey back to y/n's place. after unpacking the groceries, they spent the rest of that night cuddling while watching a movie on netflix.

walking into the store alone, y/n talked to chaewon, who was resting, through one bluetooth headphone in her ear. "do you really think it was a good idea to leave the gender a surprise?" she asks as she pushes the cart aimlessly around the maternity area in target. "mhm.. yeah. no yeah, you're right. well, anyways i'm just at target right now, about to buy some new jeans cause these mom ones are getting too tight... i know! it's ironic. well, i'm not gonna hold you up, you should finish working. okay, bye bye. love you, too." once the call ends, she goes to pick up some jeans. as soon as she finished picking out a pair or two, she rolled her way into the snacking aisle. a part of her was relieved that her stomach wasn't too big for her to be able to push the cart, she enjoyed being alone lately, even though she knew it wouldn't last very long as she only had 14 more weeks to go, and things would only get more difficult then.

picking up two boxes of granola bars, she hummed quietly as her head turned back and forth between the two items. she wondered which one to buy, they were both a personal favorite to her, but she wasn't looking to spend hundreds again, she still hadn't bought a bulk of the baby clothes yet since she didn't exactly know what to buy other than an excessive amount of zoo themed oneㅡ because there's nothing more gender neutral for babies than animal themed clothing. it had only been a mere seconds that she'd been so lost in her decision that she didn't even notice that particular set of eyes that were set on her, guilt building up and rushing through his veins as he stood there frozen in his spot.

jake was carrying a handheld basket. he figured he'd only needed to come to pick up some protein bars and energy drinks, he didn't need a cart. well, now he was regretting it as his grip faltered on the basket making it fall down onto the floor, items flying anywhere they pleased. luckily the boxes only slid a few feet in front of him. however, the protein shake rolled into forbidden territory, that forbidden territory being the area where she stood. his eyes widened and his head lowered as she turned her attention to the protein shake, then to him. he did his best to stall picking up the boxes as he did what he could to avoid looking at her. his hands shook as her shoes appeared in his vision.

"you dropped this, sir," she says. she had a smile on her face, the most beautiful one that he would have been crushed to see drop as soon as they made eye contact, but it did. "oh," was all she could say as he got up, gripping his basket harder as they made eye contact for the first time in a little over half a year. "oh," he responds, his eyes flickering to her stomach. a sudden punch of grief and regret hit him directly in his heart as it seemed to clench with pain. he averted his eyes and looked back into hers, but, again, he wished he hadn't. the tears were already brimming. "oh, oh. no, please don't cry. i'm sorry. please don't cry, please."

"i'm sorry. i'm just so happy to see you," her frown worsened as she squeezes her eyes shut, sobs escaping through her closed mouth while her body only shook as her arms stayed glued to her side. "shit, y/n. don't say that, please," he didn't know what to do. his eyes watered as he hesitated before pulling her in his embrace, the basket long forgotten as it fell back to the floor with a thud. he thought a hug would help, but it just hurt the both of them more. he was warm, exactly like she remembered. she wanted to be closer, to feel more of him but her stomach only allowed him to hold her so much. he felt her belly pressed against his, and it was foreign because it's nothing like the last time he held her and it was just a painful reminder of why he felt so shitty to begin with. "i'm sorry," he says, pulling back all too soon for the both of their liking. "we should leave, i don't want you crying in a target."

he grabs her hand, gently dragging her along as they walked out of the building. "i don't have a car, i ubered here," she says as she tries to keep up with his quickened steps. he nods in acknowledgement, not turning his head to her as he was too scared to look at her again. "i know, baby. we're gonna go in mine." now she was kinda glad he didn't look back at her, because her face had contorted into both a smile and a frown. she was still his baby after all this time, even if he didn't deserve it. once they reached the said vehicle, he opened the door for her, helping her get in as she couldn't climb in as swiftly as she used to due to the big changes in her body. it was kinda cute, the way she needed his help. it made him reminisce the moments that could've been. the times they could've had together if he didn't panic. brushing his thoughts aside, he got in on the driver's side as he began making his way to her place.

after they'd gotten in the house, he had the pleasure of seeing the changes made. in the kitchen, there was a green high chair with leaves scattered on it. when they walked into the living room, there was a fluffed carpet with the abc's accompanied with pictures of animals corresponding to the beginning letter. they walked into her bedroom whose walls were littered with pictures of every ultrasound, the growth of the child becoming more apparent as it continued. everything has changed. and jake wasn't here to experience any of it. he wasn't there to help her through any of it. and he felt so terrible for it.

"wow," was all he could say as he stared at the ultrasounds. she'd long been sitting on the bed, watching him. she had always wondered how she would feel when seeing him again. she wondered how he'd look physically, how he'd look at her, anything. she wondered if she would be angry. she promised herself she'd be angry, that she would lash out at him and spew all the hatred that had manifested these past seven months. but she wasn't angry. and she didn't lash out because.. she didn't want to. she was so happy to see him. and to see how he still cared for her, it healed the wounds that he had left behindㅡ most of them anyways. the room grew terribly quiet as the atmosphere began to suffocate them, engulfing them in the gloom that jake emitted into the air. he let out a shaky breath, his shoulders heaving up and down as his sobs only seemed to elevate in volume.

y/n's eyes widened as she used her step stool to get down from the bed and walk over to him, wrapping her arms around whatever her body could allow her to. he was crying. every single emotion he had pushed down was starting to tear its way through his eyes, lungs, and mouth as he buried his face inside his hands. tears, snots, and spit pooled in the palm of his hands but he didn't care. he wanted to allow himself to feel. but he felt so guilty. he didn't deserve to be comforted by her. cause god knows who was there to comfort her. "i'm sorry. fuck i'm so sorry y/n. i never wanted to leave you. i was just so scared. i was already scared to ruin our relationship. and then you told me and i freaked out. i changed my mind as soon as i walked out but i was so scared to come back because that would be so shitty, but i thought about you every single day. i want to be in the baby's life. i want to be in your life. i'll do anything to fix things. i can't keep living like this. you deserve to be taken care of, both of you. and i want to be the one to care for you."

his words touched every inch of her body, from the top of her head to way beyond her toes. she didn't even realize she was crying until it suddenly became harder to breathe in her nose, the airways being blocked by a sudden stuffiness. she let go of him, going to wipe her own tears off as he wiped his hands off. "y/n? are you okay?" he asked as she finally looked into his reddened eyes. "i waited so long for you to say those words to me. i'm so overwhelmed and happy, jaeyun. please don't leave me again," she begged, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. he didn't even get to respond as he felt her lips graze his. their tears slipped through their lips as the kiss continued. he cupped her face, bringing her impossibly closer as he tried not to apply too much pressure to her stomach. the two of them walked over to the bed, he helped her get up onto the bed where they would lay for the rest of the day.

"when does your lease end?" jake asks y/n as he pours himself a bowl of cereal. she shrugs, taking a bite out of her burrito. she tries her best to think about the date she'd need to renew it. "some time at the end of this month, why?"

"i want you to move in with me," he says, making her choke on her food. she coughs up the remaining pieces out of her throat as she drinks water to calm down the new burning sensation. "well, my lease ends in two weeks. i've been saving up money so we can have enough for a down payment on a better apartment. what do you think about that?" he asks, sitting across from her. she was frozen, chewing her new bite from the burrito more than it needed to be. this was all so sudden. sure, she had wanted this for a long time, but she didn't think it would happen even in her wildest dreams. it just all felt so unreal. "am i overwhelming you?" he sighed.

"no," she said after swallowing the food. "i'm just- i don't know. i just.. think there's levels to this and this is skipping a lot of them," she says. he purses his lips and thinks about it for a second before nodding in agreement. "you're right. but i think it should be fine because it's what i would've done anyways. this is making up for lost time. i have to step up as a father, and this is what fathers are supposed to do," he says. "look," pulling out his phone, he opens safari and slides his phone over to her. she looks at the screen. it was an apartment with a lovely view of the city. "only a 15 minute drive from the university and it's close to a lot of the businesses in the area. i could get it now, or we can go and do a tour and-”

"you'd really want to move in with me?" she asked, looking up from the phone. he tilted his head to the side at her. insecurities were apparent, making him realize she was still wary of the whole situation. understandably, he smiles at her with his eyes and nods his head. "of course, baby. we're making a family together. i think living together makes more sense," her posture relaxes as she smiles slightly. a family, huh? she looks through the pictures more: 3 beds, 2 baths. would he want to make more with her? there's so many 2 bedroom apartments in the same area, why not choose those? she wanted to ask him, but everything was happening too soon. and she didn't even tell chaewon that she allowed the boy back into her life yet. "i think it's fine," she says, sliding the phone back over to him. "this is good. i have no idea how i could possibly fit all of everything that i wanted to give the baby into this small apartment anyways."

"okay, then. you can say hello to our new home," he exclaims as he puts his phone in his pocket. "i gotta get to work soon, so i'll be off before your last class ends. i'll pick you up then?" he finishes off the rest of his cereal, sliding the bowl, with its sugary milk, over to her.

"oh," y/n says as she looks down at the gesture, taking the spoon out as she silently sips on the liquid before talking again as if she were embarrassed to continue her sentence. "i actually am doing the online learning course, i figured it'd give me more time to tend to the baby." even with the small laugh she let out, it was evident that she wasn't happy like, the gesture was meant to be. jake nods his head as he gets up.

"then i'll come back with some dinner, let me know what you're craving before 8:30," he says, checking his pockets for his keys. while walking out of the kitchen, he takes one last glance at her before letting out a breath and leaving. y/n stays there for a while as she lets the silence engulf her. there were always so many things to think about when she was alone these days, but today the one thing on her mind was chaewon and what exactly she was going to tell chaewon.

a big part of her wasn't ready to talk about jake yet as she wasn't completely sure if she was dreaming or not, but the other part knew better than to doubt anything that happened to her anymore. and it knew she would have to tell chaewon one way or another. even if she didn't owe it to her, she felt like she deserved to know because she was there for her every step of the way. having jake would take this burden off of her shoulders, but y/n was immensely afraid that chaewon would be disappointed in her. how weak was she as a mother to take back the same man who turned his back on their child? very weak. but she wanted nothing more than for her child to be brought up in a warm and loving family with both of its parents because she believed that jake and she would be good ones, regardless of his initial response when he learned of the pregnancy.

"okay," y/n says as she finally gets up. "clean up first, tell chaewon after," she grabs the plates bowl, and utensils from the table as she walked over to the sink. one by one, she rinses the dishes off, one time, two times, three times before she opens the dishwasher to put them inside. she wanted to manually wash, but it would be putting too much pressure on the front of her stomach from having to reach over the sink for that long, so she reluctantly used the machine. after she finished that, she got the broom and began sweeping the floor. being too lazy to mop, she resorted to sweeping the living up as she did what she could to slow time down. but doing chores wasn't easy with her stamina, so after around 20 minutes of stalling, she decided to plop down on the couch and text her friend.

upon receiving y/n's message chaewon raises an eyebrow, but types out a reply nonetheless. she figured it was something important or something that was bothering because usually y/n would call. as she made her way to the car, she let her unspoken anxiousness run rampant through her mind about what could possibly be bothering her friend. while y/n stared at chaewon's notification, all that could be heard in the silent living room was the tapping of y/n's foot. she clicked her phone off, taking a deep breath as she waited for a few minutes.

telling chaewon about the situation proved to be easier than y/n's doubts had originally convinced her it would be. of course, chaewon's expressions showed hesitance for the whole ordeal, but at the end of the day she knew it wasn't her choice to make. and even though she wanted to beg her not to let him come back so easily, she offered her hand in support. and jake proved to be thankful; the day they all decided to meet up at y/n and jake's new shared apartment for some final touches, he conveyed his gratitude to chaewon. he thanked her for everything in the book that he could think of, especially for taking care of her in place of him and for staying by her side through it all.

"you know," jake said to chaewon as they looked at y/n's sleeping figure on the bed. she'd gotten tired after her day of fun with them. she'd just knocked out mid laughter, resulting in her innocent slumber while the other two conversed. "it's times like this where i wish i stayed. most guys, when they find out their girl is pregnant, just run off and marry her before the bump even starts showing, but me? i ran off like a deadbeat and hid in my bedroom scared. i should've been a man and stepped up to be a father sooner. you know, i saw her again, like- pregnant at a target. just shopping alone. i know how people think out here, i saw how people were looking at her before i came to her side. i can't imagine how much she had to endure before then. i feel so guilty. like i don't deserve to be here."

chaewon listened intently to his words, seeing the way he teared up over it. she hesitantly reached out to hold her hand on top of his, that action alone feeling like betrayal as he stiffened upon her touch, but she only wanted to comfort him. she swallowed before she spoke. "it's too late to change the past, you're here now."

"yeah. i suppose you're right," he removes his hand from hers as he nods and she didn't know why it upset her as much as it did. clearing her throat, she got up from the bed. "i should go now, right? it's late and i have class tomorrow," she smiles softly patting her pants to smoothen them. jake nods and gets up as well as he says "i'll walk you to the door."

"oh! that's not necessary," chaewon shakes her head, but he insists as he follows her to the door.

"i have to lock you out, so either way i have to come out here," he says, making her mentally face palm at herself. she'd read too much into the situation of course. it was silent as she walked out the door, turning around with her hands clasped together. jake raises an eyebrow silently. "hm?"

"her due date is coming soon. i'm going to step down from being her main support from now on. i want to prioritize my life now, so please fulfill that empty spot for me," she says, walking away before he could muster up a reply.

y/n's screams of pain filled the room as the doctors did everything in their power to talk her through the birth. her grip on jake's hand was painful, but he endured it because she was probably feeling worse than he was.

"that's it, ms.l/n, we can see the baby's head poking through now, just keep pushing, keep breathing," doctor kim says, but nothing registers to y/n as she keeps her eyes squeezed shut, tears flowing down her face as she sobs out.

"chaewon!! chaewon-ah, it hurts s-so bad," she brings her free hand to cover her eyes, wiping what she could. jake stays silent, only offering her a chaste kiss on top of her head, then on one of her tear stained cheeks. he couldn't be upset in a moment like this. right now, all he wanted to do was comfort her until this passed through.

"almost there and .... it's a boy!" hearing her son's cries fill the air was the first thing to bring her back to life. her soul felt like it was floating outside of her body until that point, but hearing the first sounds he's been able to make since leaving her womb, pulled her all the way back in. and feeling him in her arms for the first time made all of the pain and hardships she faced worth it. "jaemin," she whispered to the baby boy, whose cries seemed to subside once he felt his mother's touch. "you'll take the 'jae' from your father," jake's ears perked up as soon as he heard it. "look jaeyun," she turned to him with a smile. he looked down to see their baby, sleepily cooing while they both looked at him with nothing but adoration in their eyes.

"he's beautiful," was all jake could think to say. and it was true, jaemin was beautiful. even though he was covered in gunk and y/n's blood, he was beautiful. doctor kim watched silently for a few minutes before she felt it was alright to take jaemin away to wash him up.

"don't worry, i will bring him back to you after you all get your deserved rest, it was a long 15 hours, but you did it!"

"mhm, i sure did do it," y/n said, her eyes fluttering while she tried her best to stay awake during her tired state. after the doctor left with jaemin, jake wasn't sure of what to do. he scratched the back of his neck, sitting down in a chair while y/n closed her eyes. the room was a comfortable silence at that point, y/n's small breaths bringing the calm to a maximum. "jake?" she whispered, not thinking to speak louder through her drowsiness as jake looked up from his phone over to her. "yeah?"

"can you please sleep with me?"

his heart raced as he looked at her.

"yeah."

"that's a good boy, that's a good boy," jake tickled jaemin's stomach as the 4 month old baby boy cooed, using his small hands in an attempt to grab at his father's.

"he's not a dog jake," chaewon giggled as she watched the two boys. she sat on the couch next to y/n who was lying down, her back facing the group.

"hey, babies can be good boys too," jake argued in his baby voice, his attention still being on the baby he was rocking slightly in his arms

"that's fair," chaewon agreed, rubbing her stomach upon its sudden growling. "you guys hungry?" she asked, opening up her phone to ubereats.

"eh, i could eat," by now jake had gotten bored of standing up, instead he sat down with jaemin whose head was now being held up by the crease in jake's elbow while he sat at a respectable distance from chaewon.

"me too," chaewon says as she scrolls through the tabs on the app, being pulled in by all the food options that it offered. she hummed and slightly turned her head over to y/n who only remained silent, eyes focused on the closed curtains of their living room window. "how about you, y/n?"

letting her eyes focus on multiple spots of the room in front of her, it almost felt like she was searching her surroundings for an answer. but there was none. "i'm not hungry," she finally chose to respond before it was too obvious that she was still avoiding speaking.

"aw c'mon since when are you not hungry? you should be taking advantage of being able to eat whatever you want now that jaemin's outside of your body!" chaewon says, lightly nudging her friend's body, though the girl still didn't respond.

"well..." jake's voice suddenly piped into the conversation. "she's breastfeeding, so she still has to be cautious of the nutrients and junk she gets. can't have our baby being unhealthy, now can we?"

now it was jake's turn to be nudged. "aw c'mon, he'll be fine with a little tacos in his baby system! i'll order some now, matter of fact," chaewon said as she typed in 'tacos' in the app's search bar.

"alright, but none of that taco bell, we need the organics."

"well you're not gonna find that in korea.."

"fair enough," jake says as he gets up from his seat on the couch. "let's just go get some. y/n needs some alone time with jaemin anyways, we've basically stolen him away from her. isn't that right, baby?" he says, booping the boy's nose. he walks over to y/n, gently moving her shoulder in a way that would lay her on her back. she closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him as he placed jaemin on her, a heavy feeling forming in her stomach. he pouts, sympathizing with her tiredness as he places a kiss on both her and jaemin's head. "we'll be back," he says as he and chaewon quietly head out.

she only opens her eyes after she hears the door shut and lock. looking down, she sees jaemin fighting sleep as he is so at peace with her warmth, and it's only then that she's brought back to reality. the guilty feeling she would always get once she would hold him would come back again and she begins to ask herself why she was feeling the way she was.

carefully, she maneuvers herself so that she can hold him properly in her arms with a sigh. "god damn it, jaemin. why am i like this? i don't hate you, i know i don't. but why does it feel like this sometimes?" his lack of understanding towards her words makes her feel a little better, he dribbles and gives her a gummy as she kisses the top of his head. "i'm sorry, baby. i don't like feeling like i can only love you when it's just the two of us alone. this isn't how a mother should feel. you deserve better than me." closing her eyes, she slightly sways her body to become a human rocking chair to soothe him more than her warmth could do on its own.

"can you believe it's only been four months since he's been born?" although jaemin was nearing half a year of being with them now, jake already loved the boy enough to be able to talk about him nonstop for hours on end. he even went back to work early just to be able to brag about how healthy and strong his son would turn out to be. there'd even be nights where he and y/n would sleep with jaemin, and she'd wake up to see him have his back facing her, while jaemin would be carefully cuddled up to him on the other side. it was no secret that he loved his baby so much at times it'd be suffocating, for y/n at least. even when their parents came over to visit, they'd joke and say he must have been the one to give birth to jaemin instead of y/n.

even now, as the couple lay in bed, it felt awkward for jake not to have jaemin with them. it had been a mutual decision of theirs to have him sleep in his crib as sleeping in between two very active sleepers could potentially be dangerous. even now as they both faced each other, faces being dimly lit by their tv, his mind seemed to stay focused on the baby who was asleep in the next room as the smile on his face never faltered. y/n looked into his eyes, smiling back. she felt at ease being able to be so close with him without having to worry about keeping distance between their bodies for the sake of jaemin. it was refreshing. but she thought it'd be better if he would shift his focus to her, even if it was just for tonight. after these four long months of neglect, it's the least he could do for her.

yet, somehow his conversation regarding the boy never seemed to end. so, taking matters into her own hands, he put a finger to his lips, giggling as he finally grew silent. "you have work in the morning. sleep," she says, and he nods, the smile on his face staying the same.

"i must be keeping you awake huh?"

y/n hummed in response, using her thumbs to gently caress his face as he melted into her touch. "okay, then let's sleep," he said, gently removing himself from her hold so that he was laying on his back as sleep seemed to come over him quickly. she guessed it was easier to tire when it came to her. she turned her back to face him as she reminisced the days he would stay up and talk to her. she so naively thought that moving in together would bring them closer; it wouldn't be surprising if she woke up to an empty spot in the bed when she'd wake up later.

"i'm happy you're here, but you shouldn't have switched to online classes just to be able to see me everyday," y/n said as she changed jaemin's diaper, the boy kicking his chubby feet at her in protest to the cold baby wipe she swiped on his bum as she attempted to rid him of his potty mess.

"oh please," chaewon says as she waves a ringing teddy bear in front of the baby's face to offer a distraction for y/n to finish more smoothly. "going in person was only fun because you were there, plus i love that i have more time to see my best friend and my beautiful nephew!"

"he is beautiful, isn't he?" she said as she put the boy in his diaper, his hiss of fits finally coming to an end as she rocked him back and forth in her arms. "he looks so much like his daddy, too."

"well, i see the both of you in him," chaewon says, laying on her shoulder with a content sigh. "it's so crazy how much he's matured since he came back. i honestly held a grudge against him, but now i think you caught the stars with him. he's an amazing father," chaewon finishes, raising an eyebrow when she hears a small sigh coming from her friend. "what's wrong?"

y/n's complaint is simple. when chaewon asks her, she admits, "he's a good father, and he takes such good care of jaemin, of course, but i just wish he'd take care of me too, you know? he used to have real life feelings for me, now it just feels like i'm nothing more than a mother to him, now that he's a father." she prayed to god that she didn't sound jealous of her own baby. how pathetic that would be of her.

"baby... i'm sure this is just a first time parent thing. he's excited about the baby you guys made. i would be too, i mean, look at him! he's adorable," her eyes scan the baby's features, smiling softly at the sight before her. "don't forget what you feel for him too, though, okay? you love jaemin that much too, right?" it was something y/n never thought about. deep down she knew she had to love jaemin. she knew somewhere inside her heart that she adored him, and there were even times where she wanted to spend every waking moment with him, but she wasn't happy. or at least not in the way she thought she would be.

when she was first pregnant with jaemin, all she could ever think about was how badly she wanted to hold him. how badly she wanted to meet him and love him the way she knew best, but nothing she ever did with him felt like the magic she wanted. if anything, she was pretty miserable all the time. all the responsibility was pushed onto her, nobody else dealt with his crying, nobody else fed him, changed his diaper, anything. everyone got the luxuries of being around him while she did all the work.

she hated it, but that's what she was supposed to do, isn't it? she was supposed to care for her child while jake went to work to make sure they all got fed & taken care of. she couldn't possibly expect chaewon to pitch in, it wasn't her child. but she felt lonely, and even though it hurt her physically, mentally, emotionally, she couldn't just stop taking care of the boy. he was her responsibility. no matter what she did.

and she tried so hard to not direct those malice feelings towards him, but there's a big part in her brain that blames him. chaewon notices the silence and it tells her everything she knows. "a lot of things can happen to your emotions postpartum, y/n. there is help that you can get to get you through this. don't be mad at yourself for feeling sad, it's normal."

"yeah... i'm sorry. i just don't know how to cope with this stuff." chaewon shakes her head fondly and pulls the girl into a side hug, patting her back gently until she lets go again.

"don't be. i'll look into getting you help, but for now i'll look for temporary remedies." she smiles and kisses her cheek affectionately, pulling away once more before walking out of the room. "get some rest. we can talk more later, okay?"

y/n nods silently and watches her walk out of the room, deciding to put the baby to sleep in his room before she goes into her own to do the same.

chaewon's temporary remedy was one of the best gifts y/n could have ever wished for. it took some days, but she convinced jake to take y/n out on a proper date. after 4 months of solely focusing on raising the baby, the two of them are finally getting some alone time together. and y/n could not be any happier. he scheduled a shorter work day so they could go out sooner, and she spent the whole day getting ready. she had lost half of the baby weight, and due to the practices she followed to recover from the birth, her body looked almost the same as it had pre-pregnancy. she did her makeup as best as she could, threw on a matching velvet two-piece, and she even deep cleaned the house so it would look and smell good when he would arrive home.

when he came home, he barely had time to hug her and admire the way she looked as her hands were both already occupied. one hand held jaemin's sleepover bag, while the other held the sleepy baby in his car seat. raising his eyebrow, she only offered him a smile. "i'm ready whenever you are," she said, but he only laughed.

"i have to get ready too," he said, walking into the direction of the bedroom to do just that. the home was silent apart from the shower sounds as she sat on the couch. jaemin was in his cradle playing with the mobile that hung above his head. she didn't know exactly how much more patient she could be. now that she knew what the night had in store for her, she couldn't stop thinking about it; that made the wait so much more difficult to endure.

it felt like hours before jake came out of their room. his jet black hair was parted in the middle, partially slicked back on one side while his outfit consisted of a silk maroon button up with silk black pants and black loafers. her eyes couldn't help but widen as she looked at him. yep. they needed to leave fast. in the blink of an eye, she was carrying both jaemin and his bag, following closely behind jake as they walked to the car.

the drive was quiet as jaemin had fallen asleep in the back. jake's focus was on the road, while y/n's eyes were on him. after they dropped jaemin off at chaewon's place the plan was to go out to eat, but as they approached the highway that would lead to where the closest restaurants were, y/n started feeling a heavy feeling in her stomach.

"um, jake?" she says, lightly putting her hand on his shoulder. he turns his head slightly to glance at her before turning his attention back to the road. "how hungry are you? like hungry hungry, or just 'eh, i guess i could eat' kinda hungry?" she asks, making him cock and eyebrow.

"the second i guess, why? are you not hungry?" he asks, finally being able to turn to her when they hit a red light. she nods without saying anything. "not gonna lie, i went through hell getting that reservation. eating just a little won't hurt, right?"

"i'm sorry but my stomach hurts really bad..."

"y/n," jake says, pulling over to the side of the road so he could look at her while they spoke. "do you just not want to eat?" she doesn't speak back this time. he sighs, rubbing his temples as his other hand grips on the wheel. "fine. we don't have to go, i'm not doing this with you tonight," he says, his tone void of anything, but she could tell he was annoyed. he turns the car back on and pulls back onto the road, looking for the nearest place to turn around. this time, the quietness of the ride was uncomfortable. she didn't want to be in it, but she was afraid to speak; she wouldn't know what to say anyways.

instead of taking the route that would lead them home, he takes a turn that would lead to where they had come from: chaewon's house to which y/n begs him not to. "why are we going to chaewon's house?" she asks.

"we're picking jaem up?" he says like it's the most obvious answer.

"please no!" her voice was desperate, more desperate than he needed to hear. "it's just- i don't know when we'll ever get time like this again. i don't want to lose out. please."

"okay."

he takes a left, starting the journey to go their way home. his speed is faster than normal. she notices and doesn't like it, but she does her best to ignore it since she was getting what she wanted in the end. when they walked into their shared home, she was glad she cleaned up nicely because the atmosphere felt calmer than it would have been if the house was still a baby mess.

y/n thought she'd feel better, but her mood only worsens when she realizes jake still is upset. he goes over to the couch, flopping backwards onto it as he rested his head on the head of it. he unbuttons the first few buttons of his shirt with a sigh. she walks over to him with extreme caution, sitting next to him.

"are you alright?"

he just shrugs, mumbling under his breath, "this was pointless, if we were just gonna come back home." she purses her lips, biting back a frown.

"not completely pointless! it's nice to get a break from being a parent once in a while."

"for who?" he responds, "i have no problem being a parent, do you?" he turns to her, a look in his eyes daring her to say something. and it should make her intimidated, but for some reason it only blows her off the edge she was already doing her best to stay balanced on.

"would i be such a villain to say i do?!" she finally screams at him, the sudden change in volume catching him by surprise. "jesus christ, jake. i just don't get what's so special about him." her words spew a hatred she didn't know she could have at her own child and it angers jake more than any angry words could possibly explain.

"him? HIM?!? you mean our child?!?!"

y/n dodges the question as tears start to flow down her face. he looks at her in disbelief as he gets up from where he's sitting to walk away to create some space between them, but she only follows behind him, her built up frustrations finally clawing their way out her throat as she spoke. "all you care about is him; you're becoming nothing more than a dad, now and it's so. fucking. miserable!"

"well what the fuck do you want me to do, y/n?" he slams his fist against the wall, making her flinch. a split second of humanity was able to hit him again as he pinched his temples, a deep sigh being exhaled. "i'm not going back to being a deadbeat. i'm not going back to feeling burdened by my own decision. he's my son. our son."

"yes, jake. believe me. i know he's yours," she pauses, the lump forming an unbearable pain in her throat as she opens her mouth to speak again. "but am i?" she wanted to be strong. in all the scenarios where she had imagined she would be able to express her feelings, she was sure she'd be strong. it wasn't a phrase she had intentionally practiced for the hundreds of what-ifs her brain conjured, but it was the only sentence that could convey the hurt she had been feeling in her heart.

she cleared her throat, deciding not to let the silence last a second more. "aren't i supposed to be loved, too? don't i matter, too?" her attempt to keep her composure crumbled as she broke out into sobs. she knew it was supposed to hurt, but did it have to hurt this bad? she'd endured this feeling of unbelonging for such a long time, the least her heart could do was make it hurt less.

"y/n-" she hears him interrupt himself with a sigh as he walks towards her, pulling her into an embrace and resting his head on hers. he didn't know how to comfort her. there wasn't an easy way to put into words everything he felt for her, especially since it all came with emotions he didn't fully understand. "you matter so much to me. so fucking much, y/n. more than i can ever explain." he wrapped his arms around her tighter and she returned his affection, burying her head in his shoulder.

"please promise me that you mean it. please promise you won't forget about me " her voice wavered as she spoke, and he noticed how badly she was shaking. he wanted so badly to tell her how he felt, but he didn't know where he stood. they were never together. even if they both loved each other, it was never expressed because their situation didn't allow them to in the past. now things had changed, and he didn't know how they were gonna handle it.

"i promise." he whispered, hoping it would be enough.

she pulled away, wiping the tears from her face as she looked up at him. he gently smiled down at her, placing his hand on the side of her cheek, brushing her hair back from her face. she leans forward, wrapping her arms around him as she looked him in the eye. he smiled down at her, heart beating faster as he swallowed all his fears to express himself. "i love you, y/n, i'm sorry for pulling away instead of accepting it." the words caught her off guard, this was the first time he'd ever said such a thing to her. and it was better than she could've ever imagined.

tears spilled from her eyes as her lip quivered, she nodded understanding before pulling him into a kiss. she didn't know how long it'd been since they last kissed and it lasted only a second before she pulled away. "i love you too jake."

in an instant, his lips were back on hers, only pulling away long enough for him to look her in the eyes with a smirk as he asked "oh, do you?" their kiss grew sloppy as he lightly wrapped his hand around her neck, guiding her to the couch as he maneuvers himself so that he's sitting first. he pulls her on his lap, hands making their way to her waist as she grinded her hips against his growing erection, letting her tongue slip through his lips as he began sucking on it. he moved his hands up, fumbling with the zipper on her top before zipping it down fully. once he'd done that, she slipped out of it, her breasts falling down with a bounce before he latched his lips onto one of them, sucking slightly before releasing it with a loud pop.

there was no need to rush this time, they had the house all to themselves. their kiss lasted what felt like hours, only the sound of lips smacking and clothes rubbing against each other could be heard. jake pulls back for air, moving to unbutton his shirt. she only watches him intently wondering how he could make a simple action so, so sensual. he notices her stares and he likes it. his dick twitches and he realizes that, though the kissing and grinding is amazing, he wanted more. so much more.

"you gonna put those pretty lips to use or are we just gonna play around all night?" he asks making her eyes widen in excitement as she moves off of his lap to lay on the couch, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before pulling them down to his mid thigh as she immediately latched her lips around the tip of his cock.

he sucks in a breath as she swirls her tongue around it, scooting down in his spot as he relaxed under her touch. "yeah, just like that," he praises as he pushes her head down so she can take in all of his length, fucking deeply into her mouth, not allowing her to come up even when she tapped on his thigh, gagging around him. "mmm, that's right." he finally let her come up to breathe, moving his hand to notify her that he wanted her to take control. she used the spit around his cock to her advantage as she let her mouth sink down until she felt his tip hit the back of her throat, doing her best to keep bobbing her head that way.

he hums and pats her butt, lifting her hip slightly to tell her to lift it more into the air. he does his best to pull her skirt off, letting her wiggle her way out of it, standing on her knees as he moves her panties to the side as he dipped his fingers into her wetness, adding two fingers. he sped up his thrusts, adding another finger as she kept going, teasingly stopping every time she would moan to the point of being inaudible. her legs started to shake as she resorted to only sucking the tip as she couldn't suck him any better with the way she couldn't stop moaning.

"get up and ride me," he tells her. she quickly obeys and inserts him inside of her, hopping up and down as she does her best to ride him, though her speed is slow. he smacks her ass, squeezing it harshly before spreading her cheeks apart. "good girl.. do you like making daddy feel good?" he asks as he grabs her chin and pulls her in for a kiss, this time letting it turn french. she moans into it, the lengths of his cock hitting her g-spot without fail every time she'd drop down. it made her speed and movement falter forcing him to grab her by her ass, lifting her body higher as he begins fucking into her, leaving her an absolute mess as she entangles her fingers into his hair breaking the kiss to moan in her ear.

"you feel so fucking good around me, but now's not the time to be a pillow princess," he again still praises as she tries to meet his thrusts. she has to take her hands out of his hair as she grips her nails into his shoulder, unable to fully process the pleasure her body was taking in. with the way her pussy clenched around him partnered with the pain from her fingernails digging into his skin, he couldn't help but be vocal about it. "you just wanna get pregnant again huh? you want me to fuck my seed into you again? you want me to reclaim this pussy? huh? you like that?"

squeezing her eyes shut, y/n just couldn't hold back anymore as she falls apart on top of him her first orgasm taking over all her senses, legs trembling from the feeling as she starts babbling between moans. he laughs as she rests her head on his shoulder, words still not forming correctly. "spit it out," he says as he slows his thrusts down ever so slightly so she could speak. she didn't know what came over her as she moaned out again, another orgasm hitting her as she came undone once again. she looks at him with a fucked out expression and says "faster."

his dick twitches as he complies, pounding deeper into her, feeling cocky, and only speeding up as he speaks praises into her ear. "you're so good to me, fuck y/n. you're gonna have to deal with me forever.. i'm not letting anyone even dream of having a chance with you. you're mine, all mine you understand?" she nods. "keep letting me fuck you like this and you're gonna be my wife sooner."

hearing this makes her moan louder as she smashes her lips on his, he keeps his speed, sometimes thrusting all the way in, staying there for a second too long for her liking, just to drive her crazy as she comes undone another time, finally making him start reaching his own pleasure limit. he doesn't change his speed or actions as he finally buries himself deep inside of her as he filled her with his hot seed. "you're mine," he says as she falls limp on top of him in exhaustion. she smiles and for the first time in months, she felt all the weight lifted off of her shoulders.

"all yours."

end.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #enhypen smut #kpop smut #jake x reader #jake x fem reader #enhypen jake #enhypen jake smut #jake smut #jake scenarios #jake angst #jake imagines #enhypen angst

805 notes · View notes

redahlia-writes · 11 months

Text

be still my foolish heart. | joel miller

Abstract: He still felt unsure, unsteady, both wanting to keep her at arm’s length and welcoming her back in his life like before, drown in the comfort he’d found in her presence year after year since they were kids. She’d tried to reassure him, and he knew she was right–you could not live in the world they did and not change. But he remembered her in pigtails on the first day of school, he remembered her prom dress being awfully 80s, and he remembered the first time he’d seen her with Sarah–gentle voiced and wide eyed, holding her as if she might shatter should she breathe a little too hard.

Words: 9.7k

Content: f!reader (called “sugar” as a nickname, described as shorter than joel); childhood friends to lovers, mentions of child’s death, grief, mentions of attempted suicide, PTDS, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, this was supposed to be about joel and sugar but there’s a lot of joel/ellie too. a lot, idiots in love, slow(ish) burn, ellie being a loving little shit, canon divergence (they get to jackson and don’t leave but i never explain why), some very minor spoilers for tlou2, purple prose, unedited

A/N: loosely inspired by almost (sweet music) by hozier; the song they listen to is night and day and can be found in ella fitzgerald sings the cole porter song book (1956).

also on AO3 - masterlist

reblogs and feedback are always greatly appreciated. you can send it here, too

Ellie had never seen a deer in headlights, only saw pictures of the creatures and heard the expression every now and then from older people.

She imagined the way Joel looked in that moment was what they meant.

Frozen still, eyes wide and lips parted, even holding his breath if the lack of condensation by his face was any indicator, Joel stood next to his brother with his back straight, the only indication he hadn’t suddenly turned into a piece of rock the light twitch in his right hand.

There’s someone you should see, Tommy had told him, half a day after they’d gotten to Jackson–they’d had time to eat and leave the few stuff they still had in the house, and right before she could hit the shower Tommy had walked in. Not keen on the idea of being left alone, Ellie had followed the Millers quietly. Joel had even teased her about it.

“Who’s the quiet one now?” she’d huffed at Joel’s sudden immobility. Tommy had looked at her with that half grin that she imagined Joel must’ve had, too, at some point, and then lifted his arm to wave a hand in the direction of a small group by the school. A woman pulled her head up, a green woolen hat low on her brow, and then waved back, a smile visible even from there. “Anyone you know?” she asked, looking back at Joel.

He still did not bat an eye.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” she exclaimed, extricating herself from the rest of the group with a quick apology. “Joel Miller,” she called, the name rolling with a certain familiarity out of her mouth as she approached them, brushing some snow from her coat.

“Sugar?” the word came out strangled–his mouth was dry, the ground unstable beneath him. Suddenly, he wasn’t 56 anymore but 16 years old, and around him a shitty classroom that could do with some fixing, or an all too familiar living room, a cluttered bedroom with dark walls–and the smile he was offered had not changed a bit.

“Sugar?” Ellie echoed, a little baffled. Her eyes darted towards the girl, a glint of curiosity.

“Only one who still called me that after we left high-school,” the woman chuckled, stepping forward with her arms open. “Come on, c’mere–it’s been too long.”

Joel hesitated–when was the last time he’d hugged someone? Maybe Tess, though he could not remember when, but that had always been more a clinging-to-each-other type of thing. A hug, that was different, and he felt stuck on the spot all over again.

Before he could overthink it too much, Ellie pushed him forward, making him grunt in protest as he almost fell into the woman’s embrace–he wrapped his arms around her, the movement somewhat foreign, and slowly leaned into it. Despite the cold and snow, she was warm underneath all the layers of clothing she donned, and smelled of freshly cut grass. It reminded him of another time, and if he closed his eyes he could almost see it. He exhaled.

“You stink, Miller–how long have you been out there?” she laughed softly, one hand cupping the back of his head, same way she used to when they were younger. He remembered dancing.

“A while,” he admitted, unable to argue with that, easing into the embrace furthermore. “Sorry,” he added, and she patted his shoulder gently, another delicate chuckle that rang crystalline to his ears.

“I’ve had it worse, it’s alright,” she murmured, chin hooked over his shoulder–he could feel her straining to stand on her tiptoes, slightly unbalanced, and lowered himself against her, face buried in the curve of her neck wrapped by a soft scarf that matched the hat. She sighed softly at the movement, her fingertips scratching across his scalp. “God, it’s good to see you.”

“You, too,” voice slightly muffled and blind to the world, Joel was able to admit that. Maybe it was nostalgia, making him forget everything else for a few moments as he lingered in the peacefulness of that familiar touch, or maybe it was exhaustion, blurring the edges between who he used to be and who he was now.

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” she whispered then, and it felt like ice through his veins. He pulled back slightly, the urge to run away making his limbs tremble–but she kept him caged in, the arm around his shoulders stronger than he remembered (was he tired? Was he too out of it?), and the hand that had brushed his hair falling to his cheek, brushing away some of the grime he’d grown used to by then.

But it was her gaze that kept him rooted, though, that softness he didn’t think could still exist in the world they lived in, and emotions he had almost forgotten, ignoring them each time they presented themselves–it’d be too risky to feel them, too easy to surrender to it again: sorrow, grief. It cut his breath all over again.

“Tommy told me,” she kept her voice low, her touch gentle, rubbing her thumb across his uneven beard. The bustling in the air was foreign after so many months of quiet, and he wasn’t sure which one made his body ache–the current life, or the past death.

“Of course he did,” he scoffed, and her expression shifted, a reprimand in her gaze that used to make him laugh when they were younger, and furthermore when she grew into that same expression, year after year of standing together.

“Joel,” she chided, still soft-voiced, still attempting to comfort him through that small motion on his face. He remembered that touch and kind, encouraging words with a baby in his arms; he remembered his name called out through laughter–hers, his daughter’s; he remembered winters and summers and years before that. He closed his eyes, a furrow in his brow.

“No, of course he did,” he exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, it’s just–she really liked you, you know?” his eyes remained closed, trying to push back the pressure building behind his eyelids, trying to swallow the knot in his throat.

“I know,” he felt her nod, press herself closer just as her name was called from behind them. When he looked up at her again, her eyes were shimmering, that vulnerability he hadn’t had the courage to show again after the ringing in his right ear had stopped. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, bringing her other hand to his face, too, holding him like that. He nodded, afraid that if he spoke right away he would crumble.

All it had taken was a gentler touch, and he was ready to fall apart.

“You oughta go–looks like you’re needed,” he cleared his throat, the damn knot clinging to his larynx seemingly impossible to push away. She looked over her shoulder, the group she was with before waving her over, and sighed before turning back towards him.

They still hadn’t let go of each other, and neither seemed willing to make the first move.

“I’m expecting you all for dinner,” she spoke a little louder then, turning her head as if to look past Joel’s shoulder but without moving her gaze from him. “Alright, Tommy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the younger Miller called, his eyes returning to the pair after having wandered elsewhere for the duration of their reunion–the most privacy that could be given in that context. Ellie hadn’t been as subtle, her head tilted and a curious look in her eyes at the sudden burst of emotion that seemed to roll off Joel’s back. It was astounding.

In the end, she was the first to depart, a kiss to Joel’s cheek that seemed to melt away what little tension was left in him. He stumbled back as she walked towards the group, one last look over her shoulder that ended up being directed towards Ellie, a quick smile and small wave she returned, somewhat unsure.

“I felt the same way,” Tommy rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder, as if to shake him from the haze that seemed to have permeated him thoroughly.

“She been here long?” he was frowning again, forcing his gaze away from the back of her head to look at Tommy. The younger Miller nodded a couple of times.

“Even before I got here,” he said, slowly beginning to lead him away, Joel seemingly rooted to the spot once more. “You know Sugar, she’s always been a step ahead of us,” he added, and in his murmur there was a fond smile.

“Sugar?” Ellie repeated, her eyebrows arched with her returned bafflement.

“Just a stupid nickname,” Joel muttered, shaking himself off in a way that seemed more a recoil–he turned and cleared his throat. “Old nickname. Don’t even know who came up with it in school. It stuck.”

“For you it stuck,” Tommy was smiling, clearly amused. They seemed so different, Ellie thought. Had they always been like that? She wondered if she could ask her. “Pure irony, really,” Tommy continued, addressing her. “She always fought people–a real spitfire.”

“You only say that because you got slapped,” Ellie’s eyebrows arched furthermore at Joel’s scoff, a tint of amusement in his words.

“And you,” the younger Miller retorted, making Ellie’s lips part.

“Oh, I like her,” she exclaimed, turning to look at her–she was back at work, the scarf now covering the lower part of her face, though she could still hear her laughter ring clear.

A week later, they stood in her living room.

Though they’d met again around town after that first day, it had taken both Joel and Ellie a moment to settle in. The house felt odd for them both–Ellie having never had one, Joel not remembering his old one. It helped that she lived just around the corner, and in the morning he’d see her walk by to head towards the center.

Slowly, he found a routine, found a way to make himself useful, and leaned into it. Ellie was wilder, refusing to go to school and spending most of her time in her bedroom, Walkman constantly on as she went through pages and pages of old diaries, old books.

“Wanna come to this thing with me?” was the only thing he asked her that night–they threaded carefully around each other, murmured confessions before he sent her to bed at night (the only thing he was firm with, leaving her her space otherwise). It wasn’t time that did it, Ellie’s head resting on his shoulder as she fiddled with the new record he’d found for her. When I got bit in the mall I wasn’t on my own, Riley’s name bitter on her tongue.

“What thing?” Joel’s hair was slicked back, a new shirt Tommy had gotten for him along with his jacket. He actually looked put together, which was the reason why Ellie sat up quickly. “Are you going to Sugar’s?”

“Stop calling her that,” he muttered, though it was the only way he ever referred her as–old habits, he thought. “Yeah–Tommy and Maria are gonna be there too, we’re all adults so if–”

“Let’s go,” she hopped up.

And so they were in her living room, scarcely decorated but recognisable as hers nonetheless, and Ellie walked around the place with a curious gaze, hands fidgeting at her sides.

“How did you convince her to come here?” Maria asked quietly, as the three of them waited for the lady of the house–she had categorically refused any help in the kitchen, ordering them to wait by the set table. Old habits, Joel thought again.

“I didn’t,” he shrugged, watching the kid linger at a picture set in a cracked frame, the dance of her fingers ceasing for just a moment. “I think she likes her–probably has to do with the slapping stories.”

“Definitely has to do with the slapping stories,” Tommy chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Ellie asked, without turning to look at them. “Actually–him I can understand,” Joel scowled at Ellie’s remark while she pointed at him, spinning around to face the three of them. “But why did she hit you?” Maria chuckled at that, while Tommy almost choked on his drink and his face burned a brighter shade of red.

“Ah, well, I–” he cleared his throat–it was another time, he thought. So many years before. “I–kind of made a move on her. And then told her I was gonna join the army,” he rubbed his jaw, some sort of nervous twitch as he glanced in a grinning Maria’s direction. “Still not sure which one pissed her off more.”

“The army,” she said, coming into the living room while holding a fuming pot she was quick to place on the table. Joel’s posture changed, a slight shift towards her by the head of the table and his head twisting so that his gaze would be on her, the ghost of a smile across his lips. “If one of you was going to be a self-sacrificing idiot and leave, I expected that to be Joel.”

“You shipped yourself off to college,” Tommy protested as they sat down–Joel remained next to her on left, Ellie next to him (she didn’t like being on his deaf side, but she preferred it to sitting away), Tommy and Maria on the other side.

“Definitely not the same thing,” she wrinkled her nose in a half-grimace, plating up the food–whatever it was, Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she’d smelled something so good, her stomach already grumbling. Tommy scoffed lightly, passing on the plates.

“Wait, you made a move? If anything I thought–” before Ellie could finish the sentence, Joel pinched her leg, making her yelp and turn to him wide-eyed. “What the hell was that for?”

“Manners,” he muttered–at the corner of his eye, the woman tried to fight off a smile, setting the last plate in front of him. “Eat your food.”

She looked at the older Miller and the kid throughout the dinner and the chats, the scowls and grins, his reprimands and her sharp tongue. It was a familiar scene, late dinners stolen in a living room she once knew like it was her own.

The younger brother leaving early on was familiar, too, Maria tiring easily from the pregnancy and Tommy refusing to leave her side for longer than necessary–her heart ached at the thought of Tommy Miller having grown up, until it functioned as a reminder that growing up in their world now meant surviving. It was easier to think of it like that.

“Just means you’re gonna have to come back for dessert,” she said as Maria hugged her, winking in Tommy’s direction, too.

“We should get going, too,” Joel cleared his throat once it was just the three of them, heading for the rack where his and Ellie’s jacket hung. She had the fleeting thought that he was trying to avoid being alone with her–though they weren’t really alone–as he had for the whole week. A quick greeting and then away, never lingering too much around her. She figured it was because he was still settling in–hoped that was the reason, in spite of the years gone by.

“But I want dessert!” the girl protested, still sat at the table (by herself).

“Ellie,” he sighed heavily, not turning to look at her as picked up her coat.

“Joel,” she retorted in the same tone, unmoving. The woman looked between the two of them with an eyebrow arched, fighting the smile off of her lips the moment Joel sighed again, head falling forward. It wasn’t needed, but Ellie took it a step further, softening her voice for a, “Please?”

Joel Miller had always had a hard time saying no to his daughter. Guess things hadn’t changed that much.

“If we’re bothering–” he started, his gaze flicking from Ellie to her.

“Oh, quit that, Miller,” she scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. “Ellie, grab your plate, come,” Joel remained frozen for a moment as the girl beamed, standing with the plate in her hands and quickly following her towards the kitchen. A beat, and then he went after them, bringing with him the rest of the dirty dishes they’d left behind.

“What is that?” Ellie had stopped abruptly at the entrance of the kitchen, eyes wide, forcing Joel to walk around her at the last moment, stumbling towards the woman who was placing a tray onto the counter. He lingered a moment, his gaze following the twisted pattern made of golden dough, and once more he felt transported back ages in time.

“My mama’s apple pie,” she said gently, a smile grazing her face–there was a bitterness to it, too, with the realization that that was probably the first time Ellie saw one outside of pictures. “We produce the flour ourselves, and have the dogs check it for possible contamination, so it’s safe,” Joel could almost see the hope in her eyes in trying to reassure the kid, grabbing the knife and offering it to her by the handle. “Wanna have a go?”

Ellie’s eyes shimmered with excitement as she took the sharp knife, getting closer to her–she leaned with one arm on the counter, while with the other hand she showed her where to start, mimicking the movement of cutting down towards the crust. As he placed the dirty dishes in the sink, Joel inhaled deeply, the perfume coming out of the still warm filling in fumes.

“Jesus,” he muttered with a soft groan, turning around quickly. Ellie stilled, her gaze flickering from where she held the knife up to him, then back to the grinning woman who was looking at him, too. “Sorry.”

“You know, your–” she stopped herself, clearing her throat before straightening her back. “Joel would always know when we made this at my place. I don’t know how but he did–never failed to show up when my mama got one in the oven.”

“Sixth sense,” Joel chuckled, getting closer as well, his mouth already watering. “Smells just like then,” he mumbled, shifting on the spot when she bumped her hip against him, her smile widening. “You know, Sarah wanted to call you to bring it over, before–” he cut himself off.

Ellie shuffled on the spot, the knife in her hand a sudden weight she didn’t like–Joel had mentioned just in passing Sarah to her, admitting first and foremost to her existence, half-joking over their differences. But whenever he did his eyes would go unfocused, gaze dropping to the broken watch.

She watched as the woman pressed herself slightly closer, hand brushing the back of Joel’s, right up to the cracked watch before she even looked up, the movement seemingly enough to draw Joel’s attention towards her; she watched as the man cleared his throat, right hand twitching before he exhaled, pulling back as if in afterthought, reaching for the cupboard; she watched Sugar’s head drop slightly, and then straighten again with a forced smile in her direction. Ellie returned it tentatively.

“Alright, kiddo–it’s best when it’s warm,” she encouraged, taking the knife from her as Joel returned with clean plates. She deposited the slice on one, pushing it in Ellie’s direction. “Too bad we haven’t got any ice cream, tastes even better with that.”

“Can’t miss what I never tried, right?” Ellie shrugged, that crooked smile still on. “Thanks,” she added then, stepping away, back towards the living room. She’d started to learn when others needed space.

“Joel,” his name whispered was like a bucket of ice water thrown in his face, a shuddering breath leaving him when he turned to look at her. Her head was slightly tilted, a soft gaze that tethered on mournful. Joel didn’t want pity. He wanted so much, but not pity.

“Can’t,” he said through gritted teeth. Her hand reached for him again, slower, fingers brushing his knuckles as they whitened with the clench of his fists above the counter. “Sugar, I can’t,” he repeated, looking down. She pressed her palm over the back of his hand, a firm knead to unfurl his fingers from where they pushed into his own palm, blunt nails still leaving their mark. He shook his head.

“It’s just me,” she kept her voice low, soft.

Tommy had told her a lot–the whole of it, really. Sarah’s death. Joel’s attempt. The shift in him–the shift in them both, but mostly Joel. The anger. The bad, awful things they’d done. The anger, the only thing Joel seemed to have felt for the past 20 years.

It nearly broke her heart.

“I know,” his eyes flickered towards the door leading to the living room, Ellie’s head peeking from behind the backrest of the armchair. “You haven’t changed one bit, but I–”

“That’s not true,” she shook her head, scooting closer. “I have. Everybody has. We had to,” curling her fingers around his hand, she slowly picked it up, bringing it closer to her. There were calluses on her fingers he didn’t remember from the years before, lines across her face he thought were a trick of the light. “You think you lost your humanity when Sarah died, but that’s not true,” she tilted her head towards the living room, gaze flickering to Ellie, the scrape of the fork against the plate the only sound coming from her. “She’s proof of that. You must see that.”

“She was a job,” his hand felt cold in hers, fingers twitching slightly. Each time, she squeezed it softly, bringing it closer to her stomach. He could feel her warmth even like that.

“She was,” she nodded in agreement, shifting so she could meet his gaze. “And now?”

“It’s complicated,” he returned, and a bittersweet smile grazed her lips.

“You always saw things as more complicated than they actually were,” she let go of him, and Joel clenched his hand suspended mid-air in her direction, while she turned towards the counter, taking the knife up again to cut two more slices of pie and plate them. “Perhaps you’re not exactly your old self, but you’re still almost you, no matter what you tell yourself, Joel,” she pushed one of the plates in his direction, glancing at him once more. “Eat up.”

Joel had a hard time breathing. It happened less frequently–it had been weeks since his last episode, he’d almost forgotten about it–but it still did, every now and then. He hated it.

He wasn’t sure what triggered it: he wasn’t doing anything specific, was just thinking about how to fix the creaky step that led up and down his patio, when all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe and his chest ached, right in the middle, like a weight trying to pin him down against the ground–but the ground didn’t feel stable, and he had to lean against the wall for support while everything spun around him.

Worst of all was the ringing in his ears. He’d gotten used to the muffled sounds in his right ear, and the sudden high pitched noise made him dizzy, made his vision waiver, made him unable to exhale. The next breath scratched at his throat, like a badly chewed bite refusing to go down, no matter how many times he tried to swallow.

“Dad?” he gasped, the town suddenly in front of him again. The edges were still blurred, but right in front of him stood Ellie–a few steps behind, Sugar had her head tilted, a curious gaze in her eyes.

“What?” his voice rang still distant, somehow, and he shook his head, trying to clear the clouds away.

“I said are you alright?” Ellie frowned, getting a step closer. “Joel, are you going deaf in both ears?” she asked, and that melted away the tension in Joel’s shoulders with a sigh.

“Very funny,” he muttered, pushing himself off from the school wall. “I just got distracted, is all. You ready?” he cleared his throat, glancing briefly in the woman’s direction.

“You know you don’t have to come get me every day, right?” Ellie mumbled, moving at his side. “It’s not like I can run away,” Joel gave her a look–eyebrows arched, head slightly tilted, that same expression he used when Tommy said something dumb. Ellie could almost hear it.

You ran away from FEDRA and sneaked into a sealed mall. I wouldn’t put it past you.

Maybe he had a point.

“Bye, Ms. Sugar!” a girl called from behind them, dark hair pulled away from her freckled face. “Ellie, you coming?” she waited, expectantly. Ellie turned towards Joel, whose face had shifted into a simil-scowl.

“So that’s what you meant, huh?” he crossed his arms, to which Ellie responded with a lopsided grin, looking at him expectantly, the mute question clear in her eyes. Can I? “Wait, Ms. Sugar?” he turned to look at the woman who still stood there, and she snorted.

“Ask Ellie about it,” she retorted, clearly amused by the guilty look creeping across the girl’s face. “She’ll be right there, Dina!” she called out then, a little louder.

“I didn’t mean to, okay?” Ellie protested, with a small kick to the melting snow in front of her. “You call her that all the time–it just came out of my mouth,” she argued then, pointing at Joel.

“Are you blaming me for calling your teacher with a nickname?” he returned, baffled.

“Yes,” Ellie nodded. Behind Ellie, he saw her stifle a giggle, quick to lower her head and cover her mouth with a hand. The girl looked up at him still, eyes softening in a pleading motion. “Can I go?”

“Sure,” he sighed–the word was barely out of his mouth before Ellie was already darting away, running towards her smiling friend. “I’m sorry,” he said then, turning to her.

“It’s alright, Joel,” clearly amused, she shook her head and took a step closer to him, hands dropped at her sides. “Besides, I think only Dina heard her. Maybe Cat, too, but it’s no big deal,” she shrugged, standing right in front of him now. Joel tightened his grip around Ellie’s bag strap, lowering his gaze to her.

“She good?” he asked, a little quieter. “This Dina, she–”

“Yes, she’s a good kid,” she said with a smile and a small nod, tilting her head slightly. “You can rest easy, Mr. Miller,” at that, Joel snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Mr. Miller,” he mocked, to which her smile widened. “Haven’t been called that since I had to meet with Sarah’s teachers,” as soon as the words were out of his mouth, his expression fell slightly, gaze unfocused. He thought he was about to stop breathing again, when she placed her hand on his upper arm, pressing gently against the jacket sleeve.

“Joel,” with a whisper of his name, he snapped his eyes back up towards her–a worried crease crossed her forehead, knitting her brows closer. “What is it?”

She knew what it was. She’d seen it, in people younger and older than him; she’d felt it on her own skin, clawing at her throat in a desperate attempt to clear her airways. Hers had never been as immobile as Joel’s. She kicked and screamed and cried until she was spent and aching all over.

“Just–” he clicked his tongue and thought of lying.

He still felt unsure, unsteady, both wanting to keep her at arm’s length and welcoming her back in his life like before, drown in the comfort he’d found in her presence year after year since they were kids. She’d tried to reassure him, and he knew she was right–you could not live in the world they did and not change. But he remembered her in pigtails on the first day of school, he remembered her prom dress being awfully 80s, and he remembered the first time he’d seen her with Sarah–gentle voiced and wide eyed, holding her as if she might shatter should she breathe a little too hard.

“It’s like starting all over again with her–not sure if I’m doing right or wrong whenever I make a decision,” he admitted then, voice low–she got closer, gaze softening. He wanted to lean into her all of a sudden, but clenched his fists instead, the strap of Ellie’s bag digging in his palm. “I can’t disappoint her, can’t–I can’t fail her, too.”

“You didn’t fail anyone, Joel,” he almost disagreed, but the look she gave him didn’t leave room for any argument. He snapped his mouth shut. “It’s odd, adjusting to this place–I didn’t sleep properly for a year, flinched at every noise. When Maria asked me if I wanted to teach I thought she’d lost her mind,” she scoffed, shaking her head lightly. “And then I had my first full night of sleep. The kids and parents started waving at me in the streets. I ate food that hadn't expired 10 years ago. It’s–give yourself some time to adjust, Miller. Both of you.”

Joel exhaled, tipping his head slightly back and looking up towards the sky–it was sunny, mercifully, the cold starting to become bearable. He felt her shuffle forward rather than see her, eyelids fluttering when she rested her hand over his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Ellie’s doing good,” she reassured then, smiling when he looked back at her. “She’s–a little wild, maybe, but she feels safe here. With you. She’ll be alright,” head tilted slightly to the side, the scarf wrapped around her neck slipped–he almost reached up to fix it for her. “So will you.”

“You always knew what to say, didn’t you?” he sighed, turning his head a little–he felt her hand move from his shoulder to his upper arm, warmth spreading wherever her touch lingered. He leaned into it.

“Not really, most of the time I winged it,” she shrugged, and his smile returned, although tentative, while shaking his head. “How’d you think I made it through college?”

“Brains, Sugar,” without thinking too much about it, he reached up and pinched her chin, gently tilting her head back a little. “You’ve always had more brains than us combined. I think we both should’ve listened to you more.”

“Took you long enough to admit that,” she grinned, following the curve of his arm down to where his hand still brushed her face. She brushed her fingertips along the back of his hand, lingering at his knuckles. “It hurt to say it out loud, didn’t it?” he chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, actually. I’m quite alright,” her eyebrows arched, wrapping her fingers around his hand for balance before reaching for his forehead with her other one. Joel laughed then, taking one small step back to balance them both, eyes crinkling at the touch. “What are you doing?”

“Checking if you have a fever,” she replied, nonchalantly, shifting her hand over his temple, over his cheek. “God forbid this affects you physically,” she added in a mock whisper, unable to hide the amusement in her words. Still laughing, Joel let go of Ellie’s bag to reach up and grab her other hand.

“Alright, alright,” he pulled his head slightly back, holding their joined hands between them–she’d tipped forward, unbalanced, and he held her upright, looking back down towards her grinning face. “You’ve made your point. Thank you.”

“Good,” she chuckled. They remained like that a moment longer, simply looking at each other, before she cleared her throat and glanced quickly over her shoulder. “I should go. Gotta fix up the classroom or else Hell might just break loose tomorrow.”

“Right,” he let go of her, his palms tingling still. “Well, I–thank you, Sugar. I mean it.”

“I know you do,” expression softened again, she stepped back–they had barely realized how close they were. Joel missed it right away. “I’ll see ya, Miller.”

“Sure,” he murmured in return, one of the hands he’d kept lifted doing a half-wave as she turned around. He kept it up, gaze lingering on her back until she’d vanished back into the building.

“Damn,” he whipped around with his eyes wide, gaze immediately falling to Ellie at his side.

“What are you doing here?” he muttered, a quick look over his shoulder and then past Ellie’s head. “Language,” he added right away, making her snort.

“Didn’t know you could laugh,” she retorted, her eyebrows arched.

“That's bullshit, you’ve heard me before,” he frowned, and Ellie’s grin widened.

“Language,” she mocked him, making Joel scowl. “Sure I did, but it wasn’t like this.”

“Like what?” still frowning, he watched her shrug and point vaguely at him.

“This,” she repeated, then shrugged and grabbed her bag from the ground in front of him. “Anyways, I came back to get this. Bye.”

“Ellie!” he protested, though she was already skipping away. “Like what?”

Winter passed, and the first glimpses of Spring came to Jackson in the shape of flowers and fruit, an unfrozen ground giving them the first rewards. Ellie would spend more days outside with her friends, but every now and then she’d hang back with him, sitting on the porch while he tried to teach her how to play guitar.

“Now try the next one,” he nodded, after a while she’d been repeating the same three notes, a small melody she’d been practicing.

“I can’t do the next one,” she protested, keeping at it. Joel began to argue, but a movement at the corner of his eye made him turn around–with his good ear towards Ellie, he didn’t hear the woman’s steps until she was in his peripheral vision. He followed her with his gaze, head turning as she went–her hands were occupied by a large box, and when she noticed them she just smiled, but didn’t stop. “No, Ellie, don’t say that. You’re doing great. You can do it.”

“What?” he cleared his throat, snapping his head back around towards the kid. She was scowling, arms crossed over the guitar as he stared at him. “You are doing good. Go to the next one,” at that she rolled her eyes, lips parting with a scoff. “What?” he repeated.

“Will you quit being a stubborn ass?” Ellie groaned, lowering the guitar and leaning back into the seat. Joel’s eyebrows arched high, disbelief painted across his face.

“Watch your mouth, kid,” she scoffed again, tapping across the wood.

“Yeah, yeah,” she practically brushed him off. “But will you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joel mimicked her, leaning back against the backrest and crossing his arms, his head twisting ever so slightly towards where he was looking before, towards her. A groan escaped her.

“Oh, please, you know perfectly well,” Joel frowned now, watching as Ellie pointed her finger in the woman’s direction–she was too far to see them, or hear them, but still Joel tapped against her extended hand. “You like her,” the girl said, bringing her hand back towards her chest. It was Joel’s turn to scoff.

“Yeah, I like her–we’ve been friends since we were kids,” he shrugged, then folded his arms across his chest once more. Ellie rolled her eyes again.

“No, I mean you like like her. Like you’re in love with her,” Joel snorted, shaking his head.

“What would you know about that?” despite the levity in Ellie’s tone, her face darkened for a moment–it had been a while since he’d seen that look in her eyes, and a pang of guilt shot through him right away. He shifted in his seat.

“I have eyes,” Ellie muttered, placing the guitar down to curl up in the chair, legs up to her chest and arms crossed. “Pretty sure the whole of Jackson knows. It’s obvious.”

“Ellie, we’ve known each other ages,” Joel sighed, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “If I had a problem I’d go to her, and if she had a problem she’d come to me. We’ve been there for each other during–” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze, “most of the worst times of our lives.”

“And you’ve never–” she trailed off.

“No,” he shook his head with a light smile.

“Not even once?” again he shook his head. “Seriously?”

“Tommy had a crush on her,” he shrugged, and she straightened her back.

“So you thought about it, then,” she exclaimed. Joel dropped his head slightly with a sigh.

“I was a teenager once, you know,” she arched her brows. “She was nice, and she was my friend, and she was real pretty–but there are things that are more important than a crush.”

Ellie was quiet for a moment, leaning back down, her fingers tapping up and down her shins as she lowered her gaze, eyebrows pinched together.

“Did–did Sarah like her?” it had started to be easier, talking about her. While Joel still felt the hurt of her absence, the anger and disbelief of his grief had turned into quiet acceptance. Ellie would rarely ask questions about her, but he found it helped.

“She loved her,” he nodded, easing back into the chair. “There weren’t a lot of women in Sarah’s life, but she was there, especially when she needed it the most. And she did love Sarah back–so much,” a fond smile caught on his mouth.

“Yeah, I figured,” Ellie mumbled, tilting her head a little. “It’s her, isn’t it? In the picture with the cracked frame at her place.”

Joel had tried to not linger too much on that picture–Sarah was young in it, 3 or 4 maybe, a full head of curls sticking out on every side. He remembered fighting each day to try and fix it, and her laughing at his feeble attempts. She taught him first–simple hairstyles he could do in the mornings before dropping her off to school and that would survive the day ahead–and then Sarah herself for when she did not want to leave it as it was.

She’d been there for him and Sarah all the time, and he wasn't sure he’d thanked her nearly enough for it. When her mom left, when she started teething, walking, talking, on her first day of school, and every year after that, leaving campus to be at each game, each recital. Clothes, music, movies, all of it–she was always there.

“Yes,” he nodded, slowly. Ellie hummed.

“You should fix that for her,” she said then, standing almost abruptly. “Might be nice. It might also give you an excuse,” she added with a shrug.

“I don’t need an excuse, Ellie,” he sighed, picking the guitar from her. The girl shrugged again, then headed inside. “You’re going somewhere?”

“Cat’s!” she called from inside. Joel strummed a few slow notes, waiting for her to come back out–she did so rushing, jacket half-thrown on. “I still think I’m right. Bye!”

She glanced up from her handiwork when a step echoed a little louder over the gravel, her face immediately splitting in a wide smile and Joel’s half-still stance in the low streetlight.

“Knitting on the porch? That’s new,” he grinned, resuming walking towards her.

“If my mother could see me now, right?” she retorted with a chuckle he matched with a smile of his own, leaving the half-finished sweater aside to stand up. “Hi,” she said then, moving forward to the steps he was climbing.

“Hi,” he returned, stopping one step down so they were at the same level. He brought his hands forward from behind his back, the previously cracked frame and picture within, his gaze lingering on Sarah’s smile a moment longer. “Fixed it for ya.”

“Oh,” she looked over her shoulder, towards the slightly ajar door as if to look at the spot it had been resting. “You didn’t–thank you,” she said, carefully picking it from him.

“Sure,” he shrugged lightly, burying his now empty hands in his pockets. “Thought I’d just stop by,” he added, shuffling slightly. Her smile widened.

“You know you don’t need an excuse to just stop by, right?” she turned around, gesturing at him to follow as she headed inside, lingering at the entrance to place the picture right back where it belonged.

“I know,” he mumbled, lingering at the threshold. One of his guitars was in the living room, resting against the armchair Ellie had curled up in and ended up falling asleep on during the first time they’d gone over. The last time, he’d forgotten the instrument, after Tommy had insisted vehemently he should’ve brought it with him.

“I meant to bring that over,” she said, catching him looking at it. “I saw you teaching Ellie,” she added, pinching one string as she passed by it before heading to the kitchen.

“Yeah, tryin’ to,” Joel followed, fingertips tingling stuffed in his pockets. “She’s good.”

“Better than I was?” she returned with two glasses filled with amber liquid and a grin on her face. “Sweet tea–I got some of the first lemons.”

“Baking, making sweet tea, knitting,” he picked the cool glass from her with a grateful look–the simple act of holding it gave him back another piece of home he thought was gone forever. It had happened quite a few times since they’d found each other again. “You’re turning into your mother, Sugar.”

The woman snorted, rolling her eyes as she stepped away, and Joel was quick to hide his smirk behind the rim of the glass.

“I’ll pretend that was a compliment, Miller,” she squinted in his direction, mock-menacingly.

“C’mon, you know I loved your mother,” he argued before taking a sip–he hummed softly, eyes shutting on instinct. If he focused, he could hear the fire crackling and water bubbling over the stove as her mother made it, could taste the sugar and lemon or peaches she’d slip them in the meantime. He sighed. “I’ll tell you what–your talents clearly reside in this, not that,” he added, pointing towards the guitar. She laughed again.

“Well, I’d rather listen to the music than play it,” she declared, her chin tilted upwards, a grin mimicking his own. Then her eyes widened, a shimmer in them as she jolted on the spot, quickly resting the glass down on the table. “I’ve gotta show you something!”

A small frown knitted his brow as he licked the sweetness from his mouth and followed her with his gaze, hurried steps towards the bedroom that echoed in the quiet of the home. She was gone a few minutes, returning after a moment of rattling, a wide smile spread across her face. Joel’s eyes fell to the object in her hands–a portable CD player, not so different from the one she’d gifted Sarah in the 90s but they always ended up stealing once she was asleep.

“Audio is not the best, to be fair, but after so many years without music–” she stopped in front of him, offering one of the earphones to him while she put the other one in.

Still frowning lightly, Joel shuffled closer, the short cord forcing him forward. The drum arrived first, the sound slightly scratched, and with her smile widening she looked up at him. Like the beat beat beat of the tom-tom, he chuckled as she freed his hands, rocking from one side to the other following the rhythm.

“Where’d you get this?” he stumbled forward when she took one of his hands, tugging him closer–the other fell to her side to second her swinging–he couldn’t help returning her infectious smile as she shrugged lightly, her free hand reaching on his shoulder.

“Luck–I found it before getting here along with a couple of CDs,” she looked up at him, head slightly tilted. “This one reminded me of you,” she added, voice softer–for a moment, her smile faltered.

She’d never thought she’d see him again, keeping the record out of pure nostalgia for someone she hadn’t seen in years. Someone she always feared was gone. They’d listened to Ella Fitzgerald constantly during their teenage years, Joel sneaking some of his parents’ records to her house, or locking themselves into listening booths for hours until they were kicked out. Dancing as they were in that moment.

“Only you beneath the moon and under the sun,” she hummed, their movements slowing with the song. “Whether near to me or fat, it’s no matter darling where you are–”

“I think of you night and day, day and night, why is it so?” he joined in, voice low, head bending slightly towards her–her smile returned, a shimmer in her eyes.

“Your voice’s changed,” she murmured, taking half a step closer. “S’warmer. I like it.”

“Thought you always liked my voice,” he smiled, tucking his chin to look down at her. She nodded with a low chuckle, locking their already joined hands together by intertwining their fingers.

“’Course I did,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes mockingly. She gave a squeeze to his hand then, lowering her head slightly. “I missed it–this,” she inhaled sharply then, a shallow sound that temporarily overwhelmed the music. “You,” she added, almost in a whisper that would’ve been lost to him had he not been looking at her mouth.

Joel’s heart stuttered, a soft sigh at her admission as his eyes fluttered shut, just a moment. Tongue-tied, he shifted closer, as close as he could get, the hand on her waist moving to the small of her back, wrapping his arm around her. He didn’t know how to tell her, how to let his mouth form the words that clouded his head–that had been since he’d seen her again. He couldn’t say it, not for lack of trying.

“Sugar,” he whispered, and she nodded, leaning forward and cutting him off.

The song went on, and she rested her head on his chest–the hand on his shoulder was soft, arm almost draped across it as she toyed absentmindedly with the collar of his shirt, brushing the nape of his neck every now and then. Their joined ones fell to his chest, arms bent, the warmth of her exhales brushing across their knuckles. He bent his head slightly, cheek barely brushing the top of her head, and he tightened his arm around her waist to keep her close–each song closer, until the music stopped.

They stayed like that a moment longer, even in silence, his heart beating the only sound she could hear, silence on his end with his good ear plugged by the earphone. She rubbed her thumb against the side of his hand, small movements that made his eyelids droop. He caught a glimpse of the top of her head like that, the curve of her nose, her eyelashes brushing her cheeks and the small pout on her relaxed mouth, all half-hidden against him. She looked–

“Ah, fuck’s sake,” he muttered to himself, and she blinked rapidly before looking up, wide-eyed. She tilted her head, gently pulling his earphone off.

“What is it?” she cleared her throat, taking a small step back. The hold on his hand began loosening, so he forced himself to ease his arm around her waist, too, shaking his head.

“Nothin’, just–something Ellie said, it’s not important,” he let go of her when her brows knit, a hint of perplexity in her gaze. “I should go, actually. Check she’s actually gone to sleep.”

“Of course,” she returned quickly, stepping even further back, hands falling to her sides and rubbing down slowly, palms dragging along the seams of her jeans. “Thank you. For the frame–and passing by.”

His right hand twitched slightly at his side, and he took a small step back, nodding at her words. He stopped then, moving forward once more–he pushed past the knot in his throat and the tingling in his limbs and his heart dropping, and reached for her face. She leaned into his touch, his hands cupping over her cheeks as he shifted closer once more, brushing a delicate kiss to her forehead, her lips curled into the beginning of a smile. He held her gently, the touch of his lips lingering a moment longer over her skin before he moved away.

“See ya, Sugar.”

Summer was relentless. With days spent seeking shadows and some reprieve from the heat, the nights were unbearable in their stillness. Joel couldn’t sleep–after 20 years in Boston, he wasn’t used to the Southern heat anymore.

And he would be lying to himself if he thought that was the only reason why.

He kept replaying the conversation with Tommy in his head, over and over. He was haunted by it, sitting on the porch in the quiet of Jackson’s night.

“Ellie’s right, it is getting painful to watch.”

“The hell are you talking with Ellie about?”

“You and Sugar. It’s worse than when we were young, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“Means this time I can’t pretend to ask her out so that you finally get your head out of your ass and admit you like her. You gotta wake up, Joel.”

He was awake. Truth was, Joel had felt like he had been living in a nightmare for the past 20 years–and now he was awake and didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know how to be himself anymore. Or how to be a person.

Perhaps that was why he was knocking on her door while everyone else was asleep. Perhaps he was just too much in his head about it. Perhaps–

“Joel?” his eyes fell down across her, flimsy night clothes clinging to her for a split second before he forced his gaze up, breath stuttering slightly. “It’s the middle of the night, what happened?”

“Sorry–shit,” he looked away, past his shoulder, back at her–was his heart beating faster? Were his hands shaking? He felt like it. “You’re right. Sorry, I’ll just–it can wait,” he stepped back, shaking his head.

“It clearly can’t, since you knocked at my door like a maniac,” she said it with a little grin, and some tension left his shoulders at the sight of it, of her stepping back and opening the door further for him. “C’mon, get inside.”

Joel walked past her and his steps faltered, tilting his head in her direction with a sharp inhale before moving along, fists opening and closing down his sides. He’d gotten better at that–not letting it all overwhelm him. Understand when the world might begin tipping under his feet and stabilize himself. He was trying–for Ellie, for his brother, for her, he was really trying.

“What happened?” she asked softly. They stood in the living room as they had before, as they had when they’d danced, except they were each on one end of the couch, a gaping emptiness between the two of them. “Should I start to get worried? You look like–”

“I like you,” he blurted out, recoiling at the shift in his own voice–so much louder than her careful tone. She blinked rapidly, head slightly tilted.

“I should hope so,” she scoffed, the reassuring smile she had before turning into a downright amused one. But Joel was shaking his head already, hands still restless. “Joel–”

“No, I mean–I like like you,” she blinked again, lips parting slightly and making her smile begin to dwindle. “Like I think I might be in love with you,” he closed his eyes, inhaling sharply–of course Ellie’s voice would echo in his head right then. Making an absolute fool out of him. “And I think I’ve always been and just didn’t know, or maybe I did know and I just didn’t want to fuck up this too, because I always fucked up everything, every relationship I ever had but ours, and the thought of losing you was terrifying–is terrifying,” he gasped a little between words, each one falling out of his mouth and out of his control. “Or maybe I wasn’t, you know? Maybe–maybe I just–”

“Joey,” she called him softly–so soft he almost didn’t hear her, and reacted first to her hand resting over his chest. His eyes flew open, gaze unfocused for a moment running across her face before they locked with hers, familiar and gentle. She pressed her palm against his chest, and he knew for sure his heart was stuttering underneath her touch. “Take a breath.”

He gasped again, shoulders dropping forward as if wrapping himself around her hand with a long exhale. Blindly, he reached for her, fingers wrapping around her wrist.

“Another,” she instructed, taking his other hand gingerly, and he did. Inhale, exhale, stumbling forward. “It’s just me, Joey.”

“You’re the only one who’s ever called me that, y’know?” he whispered, breathlessly. She gave him a little smile, tapping two fingers on his chest. Slowly, his heartbeat matched her rhythm, and he squeezed her wrist once, gently.

“Wanna try that again?” she murmured, tilting her head a little to the side.

“You can kick me out,” he retorted in a mumble, and she sighed. She shifted the hand she was holding, thumb pressing into his wrist, right above his pulse, right above the strap of his watch, while the rest of her fingers spread across the back of his hand.

“And why would I do that?” Joel met her gaze again–awaiting, reassuring, familiar gaze.

“You’ve known me all our lives, Sugar,” she nodded at his heavy sigh. “You’ve seen me fuck everything up, multiple times–Christ, you’ve seen me fuck things up with Sarah’s mother, too,” again she nodded, and he lowered his voice, breath stuttering. “Yet you were always there for me.”

“Of course I was,” with the last nod, she smiled–it was bittersweet, made his heart ache.

“I loved you for that. More than I knew could be possible,” he bowed his head, the tip of his nose brushing hers tentatively. “And I love–I love–I love you still.”

Her exhale was long, fingers curling over his chest and twisting in the fabric of his shirt–he stumbled forward ever so slightly, the hand he had around her wrist falling against her side balancing himself as she brought her lips close to his. Close, without touching, his breath stuttering when her exhale hit his skin.

“You’ve been the best half of my life, Joel,” there was a scratch in her voice that wasn’t there before, words trembling ever so slightly. “You–I’ve always known I loved you. I knew I loved you, I just–I don’t think I ever realized how much until I lost you. Or found you again.”

“Sugar–” she shook her head, humming.

“Not done,” she chided, and he snapped his mouth shut, almost chuckling. “You were my best friend. I’d like to think you still are, even after these awful fucking years because I–I’ve always needed you, Joel,” the hand on his chest shifted upwards slightly, resting at his collarbones. “And I still do. I need you in my life–I need you.”

“You do have me, sweetheart,” he said, hurriedly, pulling back ever so slightly. Her eyes were shimmering, and he wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close–her hand slid to the side of his neck, lips quivering slightly. He was looking at her lips. “However you want me, you have me.”

“I do love you, even now,” her thumb traced figures eight over his neck with one hand, small circles on his wrist with the other. Soothing. Gentle. Calming. “Whoever it is you think you’ve become now–I love you. I need you to understand that.”

Joel’s mouth opened. Closed. Opened. Closed again, a thin line cutting through his face. She was looking at him as if she could see right through him, pick up the pieces of his hesitation during the months just gone by, and the years before that. Reading him as she’d always done, and speaking directly to his foolish heart, reassuring him–you’ll get through the year, you’ll get through the grief, you’ll be alright, Sarah’ll be alright, we’ll be alright, I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I know,” he hummed, tightening his hold around her. Her body softened into his with a long exhale, the hand rising to his jaw, scratching along his patchy beard. “I’m trying, sweetheart.”

“I know you are,” she cupped his cheek, and in spite of the heat he didn’t mind the warmth radiating from her palm. His eyes fluttered shut. “C’mere.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, his head falling forward against the curve of her neck. He leaned fully into the circle of her arms, reaching out with his other free hand too to keep her close, her back slightly arched towards him, locked together like pieces of a puzzle. Freshly cut grass welcoming him home, he dug his fingertips into her sides and brushed his mouth to her neck–a half kiss, hesitant and tentative. If he got a full taste, he knew he’d want nothing else for as long as he lived.

That was a lie. He already didn’t, couldn’t fathom it.

Slowly, she tipped her head to the side, granting him more space–he could feel her heartbeat quickening under his parted lips, a hiccup in her breath as she dragged her hands up the nape of his neck, fingertips slowly brushing through the locks at the back of his head, guiding him forward and up. He let her guide him, gave her full control as the tip of his nose traced a path up her jaw, cheek, his lips following.

“Are you teasin’, Sugar?” he whispered, rubbing their noses together, and felt her smile rather than saw it. She shook her head, pressing herself impossibly closer as she scratched his scalp gently. “Then I’m gonna need you to tell me what to do next.”

When he opened his eyes, she was looking at him already, so close she was slightly cross-eyed, long lashes kissing the arch of her brows. His own heart beat a little quicker, a little louder, anticipation building in his limbs as he could feel himself burn from within.

“Kiss me,” just a whisper.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

His heart would never be whole again, that much he knew–a part of it had stayed behind, pierced by a bullet, a 20 years old wound. But he could live again, day by day. He could find his way back to life, with his Ellie on one side and–

Joel caught her lips with his own, and it felt like homecoming. Sweet as sugar, he kissed her slow, without rush, as if trying to make up for each year spent apart, and for each year spent together in the wrong way. He held her as if she might shatter and like he would never let her go both, drank greedily each sigh, each whisper, never once parting until his lungs burned, and then kissing her gasps away, too.

#redahlia #be still my foolish heart #pedrostories #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

212 notes · View notes

ghostieeeee · 7 months

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐: 𝐂𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: Possible spelling errors? :D

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

The day had passed by fairly quickly, you spent your breaks cooped up in the library with your friends and Eunchae, and although classes were basically a death sentence, you managed to survive till this point at least. The last ten minutes of the day. But despite the reasonably short time, every minute seemed to drag on to become an excruciatingly tiring sixty seconds.

The classroom has become your penal institution, keeping you locked up for good as a consequence for your naivety and lack of knowledge. It felt restricting, but this was one of the limited classes you share with a friend- your dearest Kim Chaewon.

“I hate this” There she goes again, complaining about the class- she's only complaining because of her lack of understanding over the topic you're currently covering. “I don’t understand why we can’t just study this ourselves, Sir has almost sent me to sleep with this lesson multiple times!” she whisper-yells, avoiding all eye contact with the teacher himself as she jots down notes into her personal notebook.

“It’s school, Chae, most things about school are bound to get boring sooner or later” You feel yourself smile at her annoyed huff, shaking your head lightly out of habit. “There isn't that long left until you're home free”

“Huh? Where are you going after school?”

“My english partner invited me to a coffee shop so we can start our assignment together”

In the corner of your eye, you notice the sudden stop to her note-taking and the turn of her head to face you,”Wouldn’t you have started that in class with them?”

“We were planning a few things. We still need to research more and actually begin to type it out or whatever” you explain, ignoring the strange look Chaewon was giving you.

“Mmhmm… Who’s your partner this time?”

“Aren’t you nosey today?” You stifle a small laugh,”If you must know, I'm paired with Kang Haerin”

“As in the shy popular girl, Haerin?” Her voice was laced with an undertone of uncertainty and concern,”You know this could bring attention to yourself, right?”

“Yes, I'm very much aware, but at least she wants to do the project. I’d rather face minor attention than have to do a whole assignment again. Chae, I was extremely sleep deprived last time, I became almost erratic” You let out a gusty sigh,”It’ll be something quick. We agreed to get the project done as soon as possible, and that's that”

"I'm just looking out for you, you know how much I love you"

"I know, Chae, but I know what I'm doing"

You listen to her sigh. You're almost certain the only reason she hasn't pummelled you to the ground yet is because you're her friend. You have too much of a backstory together for her to just bury, quite literally and figuratively. Three years has certainly been a show in the making when it comes to you. "If this comes back to bite you in the ass I'm here for you"

"You always have been, and I appreciate it a lot. I appreciate you a lot…" You pause to glance at your friend, sharing a gracious smile with each other,"get back to your work"

"Yes ma'am," Chaewon nods, turning her attention back to her note-taking as her wrist goes into immediate overtime.

The next seven minutes dragged on by, making your every movement feel slugged as a result. Students were evidently done with the Monday hassle as most flickered between the clock on the wall and the clock on their phones. They were desperate to leave and confine within the comfort of their homes- preparing for either an early night's worth of sleep or none at all.

However, after what felt like three hours worth of agonsing torture, the same mellow ring of the school bell radiates the air, completely sending the class to carnage. Students hadn't even waited for the teacher to dismiss them. They hadn't even waited for him to finish his sentence before they were already out the door and very well down the hallway.

“Free phone?” Chaewon speaks up, nudging you slightly as she nods to the seat on your left. It was completely empty, the boy you sat next to had vanished,”I guess someone was in a rush”

“That doesn’t mean we should take it though. Who knows what's stored on that thing?” You speak with a slight disgust, putting your notebook into your bag.

“I suppose,” she grins, “but that won't stop me!”

“Hey, hey! That's not your phone to take!” You complain, trying to block her sight of the black cased device.

“I'm not going to keep it, you make it seem like i'm the villain” Chaewon rolls her eyes, her grin having transformed into a misleading frown.

You shake your head, walking past the forgotten possession,”maybe you are the villain, maybe you're not… who knows?”

“That's cruel”

“Maybe?” You stop outside your classroom, hand tightly gripping the material of your bag’s strap. “Time to socialise” you sigh, having already spotted the girl you're meeting with.

Has she told Minji?

“goodluck Y/n, you might need it”

“Thanks Chae” You're both quick to separate- with Chaewon taking off in a hurry to find Kazuha, and you staying to meet with Haerin.

It wasn't uncommon for Chaewon to scurry off to meet Kazuha, they are neighbours afterall, but you're still stuck in the state of wishing someone you know would join you to help ease your mind a little.

Friend or alone, you're still going either way.

“Are you ready?” Turning your head to the meek voice, you find Haerin already looking at you with her same stoic face. That sweet voice had almost no correlation to the way she presents herself outwardly.

“Yeah, i'm ready”

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Pushing past the glass door, a fresh ambience of crushed coffee beans rade your nose. The warmth from the heaters attacked the chill you had brung in with you. The late October air stood no chance here. The exterior was cloistered and closed, so many tables and such little space, but you suppose that only added to the acquaint charm of the business.

Slightly trailing behind Haerin, you make your stop at the partly busy counter, where a female from your chem class stands, her hands occupied with retying her coffee stained apron. “Hello, welcome. What can I get for you today?”

It was Jiwoo- one of your sister's other friends- they are perfect friends in all honesty, them and another girl called Sullyoon. The three of them are almost always in other people's business for no clear reason. Like you said to Chaewon earlier, you were certain they were working against you with their weird spying techniques.

“Y/n?” You hum to Haerins call, eyes connecting with the barista's apron in front of you as your throat squeezes itself shut momentarily. “I’ll just get whatever Hearin ordered” You almost squealed out.

“Very well,” Jiwoo nods, placing your order through “That’ll be eleven-thousand won please”

“I’ll pay,” Haerin declares, having already pulled out her card and inputted the pin. You had no chance to even get a word in before she had already paid for the order.

“Thank you, we’ll bring your coffees over to you when they're ready”

“Thank you” You and Haerin surprise each other alongside yourselves with the sudden synchronisation to your words. While it was a generic response, and literally anyone could have done that, it was still surprising. Unbeknownst to you both, however, was that Jiwoo had judged this with narrow slitted eyes, her mind booting and reeling in any possibilities of your strange outing. Never has she ever seen you both talk- let alone in unison. As far as Jiwoo knows, this could even be a drug deal, and obviously, you're the sourcer.

Taking your seats at a round, plastic top, table- located somewhat close to the counter- you pull out your laptops, your hand also moving to unsheath the sheet from earlier. You kept the paper in case you ever needed to use her email again- fortunately, for now, you have not.

“What part do you want to follow up on?” Haerin questions, without looking away from her screen, her mouth left to hang slightly agape.

“That sounds creepy” you mumble, pondering over your options. However, your focus lifts at the sound of a small chuckle.

Was that Haerin?

Looking up only confirmed your suspicion. It really was Haerin. Her little chuckle was a first with you, and her widening smile only made her look all that much more like a cat. The corners of her eyes were pinched as she smoothed out her shirt.

“Not in that way. I don't think you’d be able to follow a printed sentence home”

Feeling yourself smile at her lighthearted attitude, even if it may only be temporary, you respond in the same demeanour “Doesn't it technically follow me home?”

“Because it’s in your bag?”

“Yeah” you observe the girl opposite you as her nose scrunches up.

“Maybe you have a stalker…” she almost whispers.

“Should I report it?”

“Maybe… I wouldn't want some random stalker if I were you”

“Two iced americanos?! A third voice intrudes, a voice you’ve heard so many times coming from your sister's room late at night when she's on facetime with her friends. Jiwoos' other partner in crime- Sullyoon. Of course they would both work together in the same establishment.

“Yes, that's us” Haerin responds as her smile retreats back into the shadows of her more introverted personality. “Thank you”

“Thank you” you repeat Haerins' words after Sullyoon places your own drink in front of you. “So… an iced americano, huh?”

Haerins face flushes a dusty red,”I know it’s not everyone's favourite, sorry if you don't like it”

“That's alright, I’ve never had this order before” you speak, holding the beverage between your fingers and palm as you evaluate it through the glass cup provided. You rarely ever hang around long enough to stay inside of a coffee shop, so having a glass container is certainly new to you.

“Oh… well, I promise it isn't as bad as the students at our school make it out to be”

“It’s okay, I trust you, i’ll try it in a minute." Haerin nods, shifting herself back on the purpose of your meeting- the english project.

“That’s good to know, since we’re doing a project together and what not”

“I suppose I have no other choice but to trust you”

“Possibly…” Haerin trails off, quickly glancing at you before she's completely immersed in her own world.

“I’ll start on the words of Shakespeare” You finally answer her question, earning a hum of approval from the brunette.

“Okay, i'll start on modern literature then”

Was it really a necessary idea to give a bunch of high schoolers a project based on the evolution of english literature and the culture surrounding it? Probably not. But are you going to try your best to get the best result possible? Absolutely… with a little help from your new partner, of course.

You just hope nothing bad comes from this…

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: Dating in a high school full of love thirsty teenagers was never really something you wanted. But of course, things change- and you learnt that in more ways than one. Kim Minji, one of the more popular students. Hong y/n, probably the most invisible person alive. They couldn't possibly be dating… or maybe they could be? You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@jeindall777 @feisrants @thefckghost @everydayiloveyves @nasyu-kookies @justdelulumeh @feb14-kid

@ehcyps @imjeyjjey @winteresss @haechansbbg @urwyf3

@idkwhatim-doinghere101 @imahallucination11 @sserajeans @lesleepyyy @jennasluma @kaypanaq

@petruchiosstuff @pandafuriosa60 @haexrin07

#newjeans #minji #kim minji #newjeans x reader #minji x reader #kim minji x reader #newjeans minji #minji smau #kim minji smau #haerin #newjeans haerin #kang haerin #chaewon #kim chaewon

89 notes · View notes

coltrainbat · 1 year

Note

the reader and chris meet for the first time at a dinner with shared joy. the reader notices chris directly and would like to get to know her better. the reader just thinks he is from the market since she heard the news that he is dating alba. only his family and friends know that alba and chris only have a personal relationship. chris tries to explain that to her

Pork or Pasta?

Disclaimer: All characters, mentioned and referred to even those based on real people are entirely fictional. All characters and events are entirely works of fiction for the purpose on entertainment. I make no comment on those mentioned within the request or story. (Can't sue me now baby I'm a law school drop out 😘 )

Fuck fuck fuck. You were late, sooo beyond late for the Charity Gala. Security were mulling outside and in an attempt to save face and avoid having them open the large and very loud doors for your entrance you ripped off your heels clutching them in your hand with your bag as you raced up the stairs.

“You’re late…” Tommy, the security guard who got rostered on all the events in your city was at the door, eyes honed in on you with a devilish smirk. Tommy had gotten you out of many difficult situation and in return you’d sneak him beer to drink out the back.

“No shit Tommy.”

The security guard laughed “Don’t worry no one’s taking your spot, get in there.”

“You’re the best.” Giving him a quick hug

Muffled conversation filled the room as you made your way to your seat in between your work bestie, Nigel and… who the fuck was that?

“Always making an entrance.” Nigel leaned over to the mysterious stranger with dark hair who you couldn’t see the face of but you swooned at his booming laugh.

“I’m here! I’m here! Don’t fret!” You slid into your seat with a huff causing your bangs to raise slightly from the sudden gust.

“Omg when did you stop wearing shoes that’s not chic.” Nigel faux gasped. Realising you were still clutching them you quickly tried to manoeuvre your foot back into the all too expensive, uncomfortable heel under the table.

“I ran here.” You huffed at Nigel.

“That’s great sweetie good for you! Smashing those New Year’s resolutions! Now turn around and meet Chris.”

You were finally able to look up at the handsome celebrity, who looked thoroughly amused by your grand entrance and clunky movements.

The event was held annually to raise money for the arts and your work was a key sponsor but occasional celebrity appearances were nothing to make your jaw drop like this.

“Be nice…” Nigel whispered swiftly in your ear before he pranced off to socialise.

“I’ve heard lots about you.” He held out his hand for you to shake

“Good stuff I hope.” The corners of you mouth raised slightly as you returned the gesture. You never saw Chris Evans on the guest list and Nigel always handled the table seating, it was starting to became incredibly clear that the man who had listened to you rant on and on about your relationship status for years had pulled off the mother of all blind dates. That sneaky, conniving little bit-

“Nigel was telling me about how much you do for the artists you work with and quote how ‘You’re their God’…” You were pulled out of your train of thought by Chris smirking at the last line.

You finally were able to look at his face properly, the small signs of ageing present in the specks of grey in his beard and the wrinkle on his forehead. He was a borderline silver fox, still in his prime with obvious experience present in his face and demeanour.

But you weren’t going to let yourself swoon so easily. Memories flooded in of your recent girls night, as you all huddled around Instagram reading about his newest girlfriend who was conveniently not present.

She was young which was fine but your FBI level investigator friends were intricately telling you about her background like she was some girl from college. Her horrid behaviour towards waitstaff, her lack of work ethic and how little she cared about her projects, the tweets of her shaming anyone who wasn’t skinny and white - those ones hit hard. You were never the beauty type but that didn’t stop you from gaining the attention from men. But the idea of another woman shaming another for their looks made your skin crawl. She was the antithesis of everything you ever believed in; good manners, kindness and hard work. You believed people were a reflection of those who they surrounded themselves with. And as the memory recalled in your head you couldn’t help but feel icky at the man who while nice and polite probably felt little of you.

You felt to get through the night you’d definitely need a little help.

“Well not really, I just listen. People like when you hear them out. I feel like today that kind of personal aspect is lost in interactions.”

Great answer. Professional. Clear. Nailed it.

“Well I think they’re lucky to have someone like you. It’s great to see someone give people a platform to share their art.”

Your eyes diverted from his intense gaze as he spoke sincerely at you to one of your favourite people walking past with a large bottle of wine, the condensation on the sides told you it was white. Your favourite.

“Yeah it’s great, sorry just a second… pssst Geraldine!”

The elderly woman looked at you with a beaming smile on her face, immediately shuffling over to you.

“Hey! how are you girl?” You took her outstretched hand, squeezing it with happiness.

“Good! So happy to see you here - I’ll get you the good stuff this stuff… it’s no good!” She waved her finger at you, sticking her tongue a little.

“Thanks Gerry.” You smiled at her, appreciative of her and the gifts she brings. She was your version of God.

“You’re welcome darling!”

“You know the waitstaff by name?” His eyebrow raised and you prepared yourself for a snarky comment.

“They’re human too aren’t they?”

“No I agree I just have met very few people at stuff like this who aren’t so self absorbed with themselves to notice the people who are doing things for them.” You heart pinged a little at that comment, you started to soften in his presence. Catching yourself, you readjusted your posture, pulling your shoulders back.

“I dont believe you should treat people on their perceived importance, besides kindness pays and now we are all gonna be drinking the good stuff.” You raised your empty glass up, ready to receive the tasty confidence from a bottle.

“I’ll drink to that.” He raised his tumblr of dark liquor, clinking it to your now full glass, making eye contact as you both sipped.

You had nothing to lose and decided to have fun with this, already planning how you are going to recount this epic story of ego takedown to the girls.

“So Evans right?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Huh didn’t recognise you without your bucket hat.”

Chris scoffs “So you saw that huh?”

“Against my will but yes.”

“Well it was complicated.”

“Yeah I imagine hanging around models and c list celebrities all day is “complicated”.”

“I’m hanging around you aren’t I.”

“I’m not a model and I’m not complicated.”

“That surprises me.”

“You don’t know me near enough to be surprised.” You shake your head.

“No but I would like to.”

“Now THAT surprises me.”

“Seems you don’t like me very much based on what you’ve read.”

“I never I said I didn’t like you I just believe you are the company you keep and I don’t like your company.”

“That’s still an assumption.”

“Well screenshots live forever don’t they?” You gave him a sarcastic grin.

“You think I would know about those and still continue to hang around someone?”

“How could you not know, do you not know how to use Twitter?”

“During all your research I thought you would of realised I’m not the best with social media.” He laughed awkwardly.

“I didn’t research you, as I said ‘against my will’”

“Well we are both here now so ask away.” He gestured his drink outwards.

You bit your lip trying to decipher the bullshit from reality but every word he spoke sounded so earnest.

“Why do you date the same skinny actress just in different fonts every time?”

“Who said I dated all of them?”

“Fair enough.”

“Not every woman I’m pictured with I’m necessarily dating.”

“Why would you chose to hang around someone who is so…”

“Horrible?” He interjects

“I was going to say repulsive.”

“I don’t always have a choice.”

“That’s ridiculous you’re in your 30s.”

“40s… thank you but it’s the way of the game.”

“So you’re a coward?”

His jaw tightened at the suggestion and his playful gaze fell from his face.

“No I just haven’t found the right one.”

“Maybe because you’re going for the wrong ones.”

“Do you know what this industry is like? I’m constantly getting pushed into being around people that I don’t particularly like.”

You gestured around you with obviousness apparent on your face.

“Your job is different.”

“So now you’re saying my life is easy?”

“No I’m saying you don’t have 50 cameras in your face at once and people usually aren’t using you for what you have.”

You pursed your lips realising you’ve hit a nerve,

“You really didn’t know did you?”

“Nope. If I did I wouldn’t of taken it as far as it got. People are damn good at hiding their true-selves when it’s convenient but something tells me, you would never understand that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well for starters, you came in late, expensive heels in hand - tells me you have good taste but are practical when need be.”

You nodded at the analyse.

“You’re nice to everyone you meet, I think about 50 people have walked past beaming at you which is a nice change to have the attention off me for once.”

“I’m just good at my job.”

“I don’t doubt it but you give it humility. Nigel told me all about what you do and he didn’t understate it.”

You blushed at your accolades particularly coming from the handsome actor.

“I think you can’t help but be anything but yourself and why would you when you’re so great? It’s endearing and a little bit intimidating.” He chuckled out that last line.

“So I’m asking, can we start over?” He leans in a little closer, placing his hand on your knee like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Yes.” You place your hand on his.

“But first… what if your type?” You quizzed.

“I’m looking at her.” He smirked at you.

After many speakers, more glasses of wine and an unspoken plate swap with Chris who graciously gave you his pasta after you starting drooling over it, the night was starting to become less formal and performers started to play covers of songs you couldn’t help but bop and sway to.

“Do you dance?” Chris asked casually

“Well yes but-.”

“Great!” He interjected, pushing out his chair and holding out his hand.

“Dance with me.”

“I don’t think that’s a good look, there’s photographers around and I know-“

“Omg woman just shut up and go dance with him!” Nigel nudged you out of your seat with Chris quick to steady you.

“You’re an asshole.” You faux sneered at him.

“And you’ll thank me Monday.” He gave you a smug smile.

Chris walked you both to the makeshift dance floor. Wrapping his arm around your waist as you swayed softly.

“So what do you think?” He quipped

“The Gala is going great, no major issues everyone looks like they’re having a good time.” You looked around nervously at a few curious eyes on you two.

“About me I meant.”

“Oh! Well… I’m 80% convinced.”

“Convinced of what?”

“That you’re not an ass.”

“That’s promising.”

“Well I’m not easy to sway.”

“Didn’t think you would be.” He purred at you.

You bodies were moving in a slow sway, Chris taking the lead as you melted into his arm as he moved you around the floor.

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Dancing?”

“No being seen with me.”

“What’s so wrong with it?”

“People still think you’re dating her.”

“And? Now they won’t and for good reason.”

“And I was the perfect choice?”

“You weren’t a factor in the plan but if you must know a news report from a “close friend” is due to come out in…” He checks his watch behind your shoulder.

“12 hours that her and I called it quits.”

“So how do I come into it?”

“You’re just the beautiful woman I met at a charity ball days after a break up that turned out to be my future wife.” He was grinning now.

“You’re ridiculous you know that?”

“Maybe, but I still want to see you again.”

“80% Evans.”

“Well do you think it’ll be at 90% by next Wednesday?”

“Possibly why?”

“Cause that’s when I’m taking you out… lean back.”

He dramatically dips your body down near the floor never letting an inch of hair even come close to the ground, pulling you back up slowly so your bodies are closer than ever.

You were slightly panting now as he eyes raked your face for a sign of agreement.

“You’re a little too good at this aren’t you?”

“I use to do Tap.”

“No with swooning women.”

“Well if it helps you’re harder to crack than most.”

“Keep it that way.”

He spins you out, only for you to spin back in, your back towards his chest as his arms wrap around your stomach securely. His nose dragging along your cheek.

“So Wednesday?”

“It’s a date.” You move around, hands now landing on his strong chest, his arms clutching your waist protectively, scared if he loosens his grip you’ll somehow disappear into thin air.

“Would you mind being the front page of a gossip magazine?”

You looked at him confused “Yes why?”

“Because I really want to kiss you but there’s a guy with a camera just over your left shoulder.”

“Can he see my face?”

“No.”

“Is he filming?”

“Photographer so don’t think so.”

“Could you make him delete it?”

“Definitely.” He grinned.

With that you leaned up a little closer, putting your weight on your toes and placing a soft kiss on his warm plump lips, seeing a sudden flash of white light through closed eyelids you pulled out a little flushed, biting your lip as brush rose to your cheeks.

“Make him send that to me before he deletes it.”

“Whatever you want.” He leaned down for another kiss.

351 notes · View notes

monkasss · 2 years

Text

The bathroom pass in your back pocket, you happily bounced along the halls of your highschool. What a difference in mood getting out of your shitty math class could make, even if it was only for five minute. Truthfully, you didn’t even need to go, but being able to sit in silence and browse through you Instagram sounded fantastic compared to class…

You opened the door to the small bathroom on your floor of the school, your phone already in hand as you heard a whimper coming from the last stall…Hm probably some girl that just got broken up with or whatever, you shrugged, getting into your own stall and locking the door.

„AAH…Hmmmmm nooo…“ moaned a young girly voice, followed by a question: „I-is someone here? Please…help me…“ she whimpered. Well this didn’t turn out as relaxing as you thought it would. You got back out of your stall and went to the one you could clearly distinguish the whimper stemming from, you knocked on the door. „Hey, yes, someone’s here…should I get a teacher?“ I asked, honestly not wanting to get involved in whose problem this was.

„NO! J-just come in…it’s unlocked…plEaS“ The voice broke, clearly in a lot of pain and sounding so so desperate. You opened the door hesitantly expecting the absolute worst to hide behind the door. It was Emily…she was in your year and had gotten pregnant on the last summer vacation her family was on, still she had always been popular and this pregnancy didn’t hurt that one bit. But now she sat there, her large bump exposed as she doubled over in pain, sweaty strands of hair that fell from her bun sticking to her face, that had become so rosy and puffy, as she looked up to you desperately. „He’s coming…I-I don’t know what to do….“ She panted, parting her legs to make room for her large bump to find space on the toilet seat.

„I can call an ambulance, Emi!“ You immediately offered, for lack of any better idea, but were cut off sharply: „NO…you need to help me…Please! We…we don’t have time…he’s coming now!“ She explained stuttering from the pain and nerves, as she took your hand and pressed it against her womanhood through her maternity leggings, making you feel that she was already bulged out significantly and her baby had began its descent into this world. „AAAAAH, Please!“ She yelped as seemingly another contraction got a hold of her, wrapping her arms around your waist for support as she pressed her head against your abdomen…he’s coming now…

533 notes · View notes

strangermarvelss · 2 years

Text

the pain of letting you go- e.m (pt 10)

Pairing: Ex!Eddie Munson x Ex!AFAB!Reader

Summary: eddie has a solo therapy session and a sit down talk with wayne about everything that’s been going on

Warnings: angst, eddie pov, mentions of past trauma and abuse (please don’t read if the topic is sensitive for you), crying, eddie having a breakthrough, wayne being the g.o.a.t and talking some sense into his nephew, cliffhanger ending

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: part ten of the series is here! can’t believe it’s almost done, it feels unreal. thank you to everyone for the continued support! reminder: if the topic is sensitive for you, please do not read. also, my two years of taking psychology in high school really came to play in this chapter, so if it doesn't make all kinds of sense, be gentle with my fuzzy brain recollection ! one last thing: eddie's backstory might sound a lot like billy's but that's just how i think it would be in this series! enjoy! :) -sava

series masterlist

“Do you want to start by telling me what brings you here today?” The lady in front of him asks, her notepad open and a pen situated between her index finger and thumb. Eddie shifts, readjusting his sitting position on the stiff couch in the spacious office as he looks back at the therapist in front of him.

He did exactly what he said he would. He got home that day that Christopher got in the fight and dialed Jonathan Byers’s home number, asking for the name and number of the therapist he and Will used to see back in Hawkins when their parents were getting their divorce. He thanked the man and hung up, quickly dialing the number Jonathan provided and made the first available appoint for the Monday after Thanksgiving, thanks to a recent cancellation.

Everything he said that day was true, he wanted to make it up to you and he would put the work in for that to happen. He spent the holiday alone, except for the breakfast he had with Wayne before he went back to bed to prepare for his shift at the plant that night. He mentioned wanting to talk with the boy, concerned about his lack of Thanksgiving plans. Eddie hadn’t really kept Wayne in the loop with everything that has happened between you and him, not wanting his uncle to look at him differently for acting so stupid. He was already beating himself up over the situation, he didn’t need more people he loved to turn against him.

“I’ve been an idiot lately,” he tells her simply, crossing his arms in front of him, putting a barrier between his heart and the unfamiliar woman. She smiles a little, looking at her notes before turning back to him.

“Happens to the best of us sometimes. Care to elaborate?” She questions, raising a brow. Eddie lets out a sigh, before opening his mouth to speak once more.

“I asked my wife for a separation, for a really stupid reason, and now that we’re not together anymore, I-I feel nothing but regret and I just want her back,” he explains.

She takes a moment to write in her notebook, before turning back to Eddie. She examines him for a moment, looking him over and Eddie squirms under her intense stare. Therapy was new territory for him. He often wondered how much better his life could’ve been if he attended regularly as a kid, but with money being tight and his asshole father not seeing the point, it was never a solid option. He probably could’ve saved himself a lot of heartache and trouble if he had a healthy outlet to express himself like this, really talking about his problems instead of blasting music and getting high to forget all the troubles the universe threw his way.

“This ‘stupid’ reason you said…what exactly was it? What led you to want to separate from your wife?” She inquires. Another sigh leaves Eddie’s lips as he braces for judgement.

“I-I’m in a band, called Corroded Coffin. I have this bandmate, his name’s Gareth. He made some silly joke about my rockstar image being ‘tainted’ because I’m married to the only girl I’ve ever dated and been with sexually, and already have a kid. Like I said, it’s really stupid, but, I guess I just…let it get to me.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“Why do you keep asking why?” Eddie snaps a little, already getting a little irritated. “I thought you were supposed to tell me all that. Tell me what’s wrong with me so I can go and make shit better.”

“We have to work through it to get to the root of the problem, first. Together,” she answers him, sending him a sweet smile. He huffs, pressing himself further into the uncomfortable couch. “Now, is what your friend Gareth said true? That you’ve only been with one girl your whole life?”

“Yeah, it is. No one ever looked at me that way before Y/N and I started dating, and it just felt right. Then she got pregnant, and we got married after she graduated,” Eddie explains a bit.

“Did you feel like you married Y/N out of obligation? Because you got her pregnant?”

He takes a moment to think. To reflect on the entire 8 years you spent together in a romantic relationship, and the years before that you spent as friends. He always loved spending time with you, whether you were friends or more than that. He remembers the time he realized he had feelings for you:

The summer of 1982 was hotter than you both wanted it be, even at night. You and Eddie were hanging out in his trailer, listening to his Black Sabbath album ‘Mob Rules’, blasting it with the windows wide open for the whole trailer park to hear. You both were on your third beer of the night, not wanting to celebrate the Fourth of July at the annual fair Hawkins threw every year thanks to Mayor Kline, but instead just having a relaxing night in the trailer, which is why it was okay for you both to blast the music after quiet hours began.

You were both laughing at some silly joke you said about his neighbor’s cat, the alcohol evident in your system and the fuzziness swirling around in both of your brains making any and every thing sound like the best joke in the world. He noticed how sweet your laughter was, and the way your nose crinkled when you giggled at his jokes, your lips curling into the brightest smile he’s ever seen and how you tilt your head back when you found something particularly funny.

The butterflies were beginning to swirl in his stomach when you flopped on the bed next to him, laughing so hard he thought you’d pee all over his bed and stain it further, since you’d already gone several times that night thanks to the alcohol in your system. He thought he could just laugh at hearing your laugh for the rest of his life, seeing the bright twinkle in your eye when he turned towards you and heat spreading to his cheeks thanks to the staring.

The laughter died down, the two of you looking at each other with soft eyes and reaching for each other. He grabbed your arm, running his ring clad hand up and down your soft skin, and you went to brush his growing mane out of his face. He felt his heart beating so fast in his chest, thinking it might pop out of him and explode all over your pretty outfit, which was a low cut tank top and high waisted shorts due to the heat, not that Eddie was complaining.

It felt sudden when you pressed your lips to his, but he didn’t care all that much as he quickly melted into your touch, bringing the hand that was once rubbing up and down your arm to cup your face gently. The two of you had been friends for a while, but it wasn’t weird to be kissing in that moment. The heat that was created between the two of you as your lips moved against each other felt so nice and comforting. Like it was bound to happen any day. Like Eddie always said: It just felt right.

“No, I didn’t feel like I needed to marry her out of obligation. Her parents maybe think that, since they kept hinting towards it throughout the pregnancy, but I didn’t feel pressured by them or her. I did it because I wanted to,” he finally answers the woman before him. She nods at his answer and quickly scribbles something in her notebook again.

“And why did you want to? Think back at how you felt around that time in your life. What made you decide you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her in the first place?”

“Being with her made me feel truly happy for the first time in my life. I had a shit childhood and everyone bullied me up until I graduated at my third attempt at a senior year, but whenever we were together, even before we were dating, it felt like I didn’t have to worry about ever being unhappy. I just felt-I felt like maybe life didn’t have to suck as much as I used to think it did.”

“Good, that’s good. I think we’re starting to get somewhere. Can you talk to me more about your childhood?” The therapist asks, readjusting her position in the chair in front of him, crossing a leg above her knee and readjusting her notepad. Eddie’s breath hitches for a moment, swallowing it down quickly after. He never reveled in the details about his childhood too often. The last time he had to was some comment Christopher made about a family tree he had to make for school, and he had asked about where his mother and father were and why he only had one set of grandparents he went to visit during the holidays. It wasn’t a lengthy conversation between him and his son, not like it was when he told you all those years ago. He wanted to save that story for when Chris was significantly older. Please, it all still felt very fresh, as if it was happening yesterday.

“Um, yeah…yeah I can. My mom, she was the sweetest woman. Always did her best to care for me a provide some kind of normal childhood with what little we had. But my dad…he was a total prick. An angry drunk who used to beat us every time we breathed wrong. He and my mom would fight a lot, arguing about money and other pointless shit in the end. But it always ended in him ‘winning’, getting a few too many smacks in and taking it out on me when I would try to defend her,” Eddie begins, his hands clasped in front of him as he leans forward on his knees, one leg bouncing uncontrollably as he speaks.

“One day, thinks got a little too heated between the two of them because he lost his job at the body shop he worked at, being drunk on the clock and all. They got into a screaming match, apparently, because money was becoming tighter and tighter, and when he lost his job, my mom was the only one with a stable income coming in. He…he hit her. No, not hit. He punched her. He was going at her and just hurting her worse than he ever had. She ended up in the hospital, broken ribs and eye swollen shut, but panicking about how much it would cost her instead of worrying about her injuries. But she figured it out and once she was better, she left Hawkins. S-she promised she’d come back and get me, and we’d go live in a city together where we didn’t have to deal with that asshole, but after two months of getting the brunt of all his anger about it, I lost hope. Then six months after she left, my dad got locked up and I was put in my Uncle Wayne’s care.”

She nods at his words, taking in all the information spilled at her in such a short amount of time as she writes faster than Eddie thought anyone could. Eddie’s chest feels tight as his mind brings him back to his past. The pain from his father’s fists and the smacking sound he’d create against his chubby pre-teen face still fresh and the exact reason he was so worried when Christopher got into a fight at school. Sure, Eddie knew how to defend himself against bullies when the time called for it, but he tried to not get physical when he felt the need to get violent. The fight with his son, plus the smack you landed on his face when he was being a jealous dickhead about Steve, took him back to the small house he lived in on the outskirts of Hawkins with his father’s harsh words ringing in his ears and horrible actions making his skin sting.

“Do you ever find yourself running away from conflict, Eddie?” The therapist asks, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Um…yeah, I guess sometimes I do. But Y/N and I didn’t have any conflict when I asked for the separation, it was because of what Gareth said,” he replies. She hums to herself, raising her eyebrows a bit a shaking her head.

“But what if it was something deeper than that?” She ponders.

“What do you mean?”

She closes the notebook momentarily, setting it on the side table closest to her chair and clasping her hands in front of her. “What if you had a deeper reasoning, something that didn’t click into place until your friend said the joke. Eddie, with all the stuff you just told me, it sounds like the abandonment your mother caused you to feel could have something to do with this, as well as a bit of self sabotage.”

The abandonment was spot on, with the grudge he still held for his mother for leaving him in the hands of an abusive piece-of-shit still very present. But self sabotage? What on earth could he have been sabotaging? And for what reason?

“I’m going to need you to elaborate further, doc,” he pleads.

“Well, you said you never felt truly happy until you were with Y/N. Things were going good between you, so there could’ve been a small part of you just waiting for things to get bad again. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. So instead of you going through any sort of pain on the receiving end, you initiated the bad stuff before it could happen to you. And running away similar to how your mother did, but not exactly the same,” she explains to him.

Eddie feels as if a lightbulb went off over his head as he listens to what she says. It all makes sense, because there was always a small part of him that told him he never deserved anything good in his life, words his father would spew at him continuing to stay with him many years later. He finally felt happy and let his head overthink that, not truly being able to soak up the feeling and throwing away the best thing he’s ever witnessed in his life. The words the therapist said, mixed with the insecurity of his lack of experience, all made Eddie feel semi-better about knowing what exactly led him to acting so stupid.

As happy as he was to get to the root of the problem, he felt like even more of an idiot for doing so and putting you through the shit that was going on with him. What if he managed to get this kind of help earlier, before acting on Gareth’s words and being a mini manwhore? What if he just talked about how he was feeling instead of keeping it to himself and letting you suffer in the process?

“That actually makes a lot of sense doc…thank you,” he breathes out.

“That’s why I’m here. I think we’ve made some great progress for today, and I’d like to try and see you once more before your family session coming up in a couple of weeks. Talk to the receptionist out front and see where they can squeeze you in,” the therapist says, standing from her chair and extending her hand to him. He shakes it as he stands himself, digging his hands in his pocket before walking out of the room and out into the lobby where the front desk is located.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Staring at Wayne’s truck in the driveway, Eddie takes a deep breath before turning the engine to his van off. Exiting the vehicle, he takes the few steps until he reaches the porch, climbing the stairs and walking in the front door. Wayne’s figure is relaxing in his recliner, feet extended as he watches a show on the tiny television. He meets his nephews eyes, Eddie giving him a shy wave before setting his keys on the kitchen counter.

“Hey boy,” Wayne greets him, pushing the recliner back into the regular sitting position and standing. He walks over towards the kitchen, his arms extending and wrapping around his nephew quickly. “How’ve you been boy?”

Eddie shakes his head, laughing a little as he looks to the floor. “Not good Uncle Wayne. Pretty far from being okay, if I'm being honest”

“C’mere son, lets sit down and talk,” he gestures towards the kitchen table, the two chairs already situated a bit for people to just slide it, the two men having a habit of not pushing them in. Eddie sits down, wringing his hands together as he rests the against the table. Wayne slides in, taking a sip of his drink as he looks at his nephew. “Tell me what’s been going on with you and Y/N.”

Eddie’s eyes shoot up to meet Wayne's, panic in his face hearing his uncle say the words. Wayne hated gossip, so there was no way someone else managed to tell him the situation before he did, right?l

“How did you-“

“Now you know as well as I do how fast word travels in this damn town. I may not like to gossip, but my ears do perk up when they’re talking about my nephew. I would’ve liked to hear it from you though, so talk to me son,” he explains, cutting the younger man off.

“M’sorry Wayne, I just didn’t want you to be mad at me and be disappointed in me. I've already put you through enough shit...I-I just didn't want to add onto that,” Eddie admits, hanging his head low in shame, staring at the wooden table and tracing the cravings he did years ago with his fingertips.

“Eddie I could never be disappointed in you, and I mean that.”

“Thanks Wayne, I appreciate that,” he pauses, continuing to trace the carvings. “I really screwed things up with Y/N. I got in my head and let her go…and now I feel horrible. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done, and you know me, it says a lot.”

“Yeah son, I do know you. And you’re right, that is the worst thing you’ve ever done,” Wayne tells him. Eddie’s eyes widen, staring at his uncle crazily, a breathy laugh leaving his lips. “No, Eddie, I’m serious. I’ve seen how that girl has changed your life for the better, and leaving her like that was just cruel. She and that boy of yours love you so much, but I can’t for the life of me understand why you did it, because I know how crazy you are about her. So what the hell?”

Eddie frowns, hearing the disappointment in his uncle’s voice. He knew how stupid it was letting the one person other than Wayne who has ever treated him with any kind of love that he deserved go like he did, trading the simple family life for the rockstar life he’s always dreamed of. But now that he had that rockstar life, he hated what he gave up in order to have it. Losing you and your son wasn’t worth all the potential record deals and never having to worry about money again.

“I know Wayne…I know I messed up. But I’m trying to do better-I am going to do better. I just came back from a therapy session, and we’re going to go as a family so I can see just how much this has effected them and see what I can do to be good to them. I want to be back in their lives and come home to my family every night and tuck my son in without him hating me. I want to lay in bed with my wife at night and hear all about her day and hold her in my arms as we fall asleep, then wake up and do it all over again. I never thought that’d be something I could want, much less have, but now that it’s almost out of my grasp?” Eddie stops, feeling the tears fall down his pale cheeks as he tries his best to compose himself in front of his uncle, turning away and rubbing his eyes with his thumb.

He keeps the sobs to himself, not wanting to look more pathetic than he already felt. He knew it was stupid to cry over his own mistakes, but it just showed how much he cared for you and Christopher. He loves you both so much, and despite everything, he wants nothing but happiness for the both of you, whether that includes him in your lives or not.

Wayne stands from his chair, walking over and taking Eddie’s figure in his own, wrapping his arms around the boy’s shoulder and holding Eddie’s head close to his figure with his free hand. Eddie immediately hugs him back, his face burying into one of Wayne’s legs as he turns his head to the side, looking out at the living room before closing his eyes once more, fresh tears spilling over the edge.

“I don’t want to lose them, Wayne. I can’t,” Eddie mumbles out. Wayne nods, patting his nephew’s head as he tries to soothe him.

“I know boy, I know. But you have to keep putting in the work. I know you love them, and they still love you, I can see it when I see Y/N around town sometimes with the way she still manages to flash me a smile. So go and be a better man for them, the husband and father they need you to be and get your head out of your ass,” Wayne says.

Eddie smiles a little, pulling away from his uncle and rubbing his tears on his sleeve. He was going to do whatever you needed him to in order to be on good terms again. He knew things wouldn’t magically heal over night and that he’d be welcomed back to his home with open arms next time you saw both of them, so he would wait as long as he needs for you to be ready and let him back into your life.

That is, if you still really wanted him there.

843 notes · View notes

skelswritingcorner · 1 month

Text

Explaining an Organic Phenomena (TFP fic)

I bring forth ANOTHER reader character/Buddy who has endometriosis! This is closer to my own experiences with my still undiagnosed condition, though. I use Buddy in this story, but that's because I still need to finalize this Buddy's name.

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: Mentioned self harm, mentions of hospital visits, menstrual pain

Story below the cut!

You didn’t expect to end up being involved with an alien’s war, let alone that three of your classmates already knew about them, but you got involved anyway. While you rarely interact with them, preferring to hole yourself up in a small corner to work on assignments, they often pull you into shenanigans anyway. Especially Miko.

The Autobots, as they call themselves, don’t know much about you other than what Jack told them. And he doesn’t know much about you. Most he knows is that at least once a month you end up leaving class early, because it’s the class you have with him that you usually end up leaving for the day, and for the following three days you’re miserable. Jack doesn’t know why either, and you plan on keeping it that way. The only people who get to know about your endometriosis are your family and your doctors.

Well, you at least try. You’ve known them for about two months now, none of them raised an eye at the once-a-monthly absence. Yet. It’s either going to be Ratchet, Optimus, or Smokescreen who will voice any concerns if this happens long enough. Smokescreen, as he’s your Autobot companion assigned to you by Optimus Prime, and Ratchet as he’s a medic.

This is the second period you’ve had since you unwillingly joined them (you blame Miko for this, but also Jack since he’s your neighbor). It was your usual routine during the first day of your period: try to ignore the pain long enough in school, eventually go to the nurse after the pain gets too much for you to focus, then end up being picked up by your mom and brought home.

It was in your class with Miko when you ended up being picked up by your mom. You wrote down something on an index card, giving it to her as you left. She knew what was going on, Miko was the only person outside your immediate family who knew about your condition from you. As you shuffled through to the main entrance, you did see Jack, but ignored him. He was turned away anyway, and you weren’t in the mood to get his attention.

“Where is Buddy? I thought she usually comes with all of you.” Optimus asked. Miko scratched the back of her head before grabbing an index card and showing it to him.

His optics scanned the writing, “I have to leave early, my cramps are getting too much. Tell everyone not to worry about me (especially Ratchet and Smokescreen), I should be there tomorrow.” he read out loud.

“Oh, on the contrary!” Ratchet rebutted, “This happened last month too! And Jack said this happens every single month! Clearly, something’s wrong if this has been happening for years.”

“Well, the only way to confirm if anything’s wrong is to visit her. None of us know where she lives, though.” Raf stated.

“Actually,” Jack countered, “Buddy’s house is right next to mine. Our moms know each other quite well. I don’t think she wants visitors, though. Last time I visited while she was experiencing this she threw something at me, and it hurt.”

Smokescreen entered the room, tilting his head at the lack of his human companion. “Where’s Buddy? I thought she was going to be here.”

“Not here right now,” Miko replied, “she left school early too, needed her mom to pick her up. Girl stuff. I don’t have permission to tell you.”

Smokescreen tilted his head, then turned to Arcee. “Do you know what Miko’s talking about?”

“No, I do not.”

“Then I’m going to find her.” Smokescreen started to walk away, but was stopped by Optimus.

“Smokescreen,” Optimus explained, “I know that you’re concerned for Buddy. However, as Jack is her neighbor, it would draw less suspicion from the Decepticons if he goes to visit her. Jack, do you have Buddy’s contact information?”

“Even better,” Jack pulled out his phone, “I have her mom’s number. Well, I do have Buddy’s number too, but I don’t think she’s going to answer.”

“Excellent. Arcee, go with Jack. Smokescreen, please remain on base, but maintain communications with Arcee.” Optimus ordered. Arcee nodded, and Jack went to grab some of his things before leaving with Arcee.

“Actually, Jackie made a mass displacement machine in case we need to go somewhere that requires someone small.” Bulkhead said, “Arcee might be our smallest member aside from the humans, but I don’t think she can fit through the door of the garage.”

“Absolutely NOT! I believe that would be dangerous. Has Wheeljack even tested it?!” Ratchet turned to Bulkhead, gritting his teeth.

“I’m down to testing it.” Arcee walked to Bulkhead, “Do you know how to operate it?”

“Arcee!” Ratchet exclaimed, “If you really want to do this, I’m going to supervise this.”

♢♢♢

This was not a good day. The cramps were especially bad, so all you could do was writhe in pain on your bed, unable to get anything of substance done. Are the Autobots getting suspicious of this now? The Decepticons? Honestly, the thought of Knockout finding you in this state, hell, even Megatron, made shivers go down your spine. It’s a shame too, you wanted to work on that dress for your project. The one that transforms from a vague black silhouette to a bleeding crimson. Too bad that you’re in pain. Mom went out to do some errands, so she won’t be home for a while. And dad? He doesn’t tell you anything about his work, but you know that it has something to do with the alien robots. Why else would the Decepticons kidnap you the day you were released from the psych ward, before you could even cut off the hospital bracelet? Interrogating you about things you don’t know about?

Who’s texting you right now? Grabbing your phone, you checked to see who messaged you. It was Jack. Of course it would be him, he’s your neighbor! The message said something you wished you didn’t read: ‘Everyone’s worried about you, Arcee and I are coming to your house. Ratchet’s worried too. Don’t throw a textbook at me like last time.’

You wanted to punch Jack so hard right now. Also, it was not a textbook you threw, it was a book about the history of fashion. Get it right, Darby. Angrily typing on your phone, you sent out a message: ‘I’M FINE.’ You then put your phone on the nightstand, curling into the comfort of your blankets.

It should take Jack and Arcee half an hour to get to your house, if they’re coming from the Autobot base. Hopefully, you can just tell them not to worry and leave quickly. They shouldn’t worry about you. Well, June did warn them about your mental health not being the best given what happened over the summer, but the point stands. As long as you’re not alone with your thoughts for too long, you’ll be alright.

There’s a sound that you now know is the ground bridge, and another notification sounded on your phone. So they went the easy route. You grabbed your phone, seeing two dreaded words, ‘We’re here’. God dammit. A door opened, most likely the garage door.

It’s Jack’s voice that you first heard, “Buddy, where are you? Who am I kidding, you’re going to be in your room.” as he spoke, his voice got closer. “Coming in!” and he opened the door. Whoop-de-doo.

“Are you in there?” he asked. You popped your head out of your blanket pile, preparing a plushie to throw at him if he says anything stupid.

“Your room has a lot of… black.” Arcee said, peeking from the hallway. Honestly? She’s right. Nearly everything in your room is black and pastel purple.

Wait. How is she in your house? She’s three times Jack’s size, how did she get in through the door? Wait, she looks smaller than usual…

“Why is Arcee in here?” you asked, biting back a whimper.

“Oh. Wheeljack made some kind of mass displacement machine and needed someone to test it. Smokescreen tried to have himself test it to see you, but Optimus has him on base for now.”

Right. That totally makes sense. Not weird at all.

“He’s worried about you, you know? If it weren’t for Optimus telling him he couldn’t, Smokescreen would be speeding to get to you.”

That’s weird. You thought he hated you. Smokescreen was always belligerent and grumpy when with you, mostly because you insisted on being in control so he wouldn’t break the speed limit and possibly commit involuntary manslaughter. He despised your personality.

“I think he only does that because I was assigned his human partner. I doubt that he’s actually worried for me.” you grumbled, returning to your blanket burrito with the plushie ready to throw.

“Ratchet is also worried, you know? He is a doctor and a-”

You threw the plushie at Jack, full force. Arcee didn’t even try to catch it, leaning against the doorframe nonchalantly. Even when mass displaced, she’d have to crouch to get in.

“Hey! What was that for?” Jack caught the plushie in his hands.

“Well,” Arcee laughed, “Buddy’s up now.”

She’s being sarcastic. You’re still laying on your side, dammit!

Arcee walked into the room, speaking after she knelt in front of you, “Anyway, are you alright? I’m pretty sure Ratchet wants an explanation as to what’s going on, since this is the second time since you’ve joined us that this happened.”

Ough. Eugh. This is going to be difficult. How do you explain menstruation to a robot? They don’t have those parts, at least you think. “Uh,” you winced, not out of pain but out of awkwardness, “It’s very complicated and requires a lesson in human anatomy. June would probably explain it better than I can right now.”

“She’s at work right now, though.” Jack countered. Oh. Right. Hospital stuff.

“...I’ll grab my drawing pad. Just give me a moment to draw some stuff to help explain it.” you got out of your very comfortable blankets, going to your desk to grab your drawing pad, a pen, and a few markers. After finding a blank page, you got to work drawing a basic diagram.

Once you finished drawing, you turned the drawing pad to the two visitors. You pointed the pen to the first drawing; a very badly drawn uterus with a face, “This,” you tapped the drawing, “is the uterus. To the sides are the ovaries, which is where microscopic eggs are held. Every month, usually one egg is released. Before this, a lining grows inside the uterus to prepare for a human baby.”

“An… egg?” Arcee tilted her head.

“Not like the ones you see at the store, those are specifically evolved to grow a baby outside of the mother. These have no shell.”

You shifted your impromptu pointer. If you had your finger ring on, you would be using that to point, “The egg, however, needs to be fertilized in order for a baby to form. This is usually done through… certain acts of pleasure. However, there are treatments in case you can’t get pregnant that way.”

Jack nodded, nonverbally imploring you to continue.

“But this isn’t about how babies are made or grown, this is specifically about what happens when you don’t get pregnant.” You moved the pen to point to another crudely drawn uterus, now with an angry expression and blood coming out from the bottom. “When you don’t get pregnant, then the lining sheds, basically it’s like bleeding. You can’t hold it in, it’s gonna flow whether you want it to or not. This takes several days, and usually causes mild discomfort. This usually starts when reaching teenage years, but I was eleven years old when I first got mine.”

“Wait, you were eleven when that happened?!” Jack’s eyes widened. You just rolled your eyes to continue.

“Sometimes, though, the lining can grow on the outside of the uterus, and end up on other parts of the body,” you tapped the pen on another sketch, with a mess of lines representing the intestines with blobs of red on them, “most often the highest it goes is the intestines, but it can go all the way to the brain. This is called endometriosis, and it causes incredibly painful cramps. I had this confirmed over the summer, after that incident.” you chuckled, “Didn’t even have the chance to get lunch after being discharged before the Decepticons took me.”

“I’m… sorry.” Arcee frowned.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” you replied.

“It’s not an apology, Buddy, it’s a show of sympathy. I can’t imagine how that feels.” Right. People say sorry sometimes to show sympathy. Something you never got the grasp of. Saying sorry is meant for apologies, is it not?

“Well, I did stab myself to distract from the pain my cramps caused.” you laughed.

Why are Jack and Arcee staring at you like that? They look like they saw a flayed corpse.

Oh. Right. They weren’t told why you were in the hospital. At least June is complying with HIPAA.

“That’s why you were in the hospital?! You stabbed yourself?!” Jack went closer to you, still shocked.

“In two places. And no, I’m not showing the scars. They still look nasty.” It is true though, the stitches might be gone but the scars are still healing. Besides, one of those scars is on your stomach. You’re not showing that to anyone except for medical professionals, or someone you trust enough. The only person that applies is mom.

“Well, at least we now know what’s going on. Is it alright if we tell the others?” Arcee asked.

“Go ahead. Miko already knows, by the way. She even taught me how to pronounce it in Japanese. While there is an actual Japanese word, they just use the loan word.” you answered, “Also, be careful when telling Raf. He’s the youngest of us, I’m sure he’ll be full of questions. I… don’t want him trying to learn more than he should at his age.”

You’ve always felt protective of Rafael. Maybe it’s because deep down you always wanted to feel like a big sister to someone. Another part of you thinks you’re trying to subconsciously manipulate him into your father’s cause. Regardless of why that is, the moment you ended up in cahoots with the Autobots you’ve taken up the role of an older sibling to him. You did your best to not be overbearing or authoritarian, but you tried to help explain certain things to him. He might be a genius, but he’s still the age of a middle schooler. As long as he doesn’t end up behaving like Jack or Miko, he should be okay.

“I assume that you want to stay here, and not go to base.” Jack scratched the back of his head.

You nodded, “I’ll see if I can go tomorrow, depending on how I feel. See y’all tomorrow. Also, don’t tell anyone else the fact that I stabbed myself being why I was in the hospital.”

“I promise. See you tomorrow, Buddy.” Arcee waved, and the both of them left.

After the ground bridge noise was made, you put the drawing stuff away and returned to your blanket burrito after taking some painkillers. Talking with both of them distracted you from the cramps for a good while, surprisingly enough. That’s an achievement.

♢♢♢

“Are you saying that this is caused by a regular human bodily function going wrong?!” Ratchet clenched his hands, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“As far as Buddy said, yes.” Arcee confirmed.

“Yikes,” Miko winced, “I thought my cramps were annoying at best. I can’t imagine what level of cramps she experiences every month.”

“That’s why Buddy’s not here right now?” Smokescreen asked Arcee, who nodded.

Smokescreen sulked in a corner, “Why didn’t she tell me? I’m her partner! And she never said anything about this to me!”

“Buddy might have decided not to tell you since it might make you worry. That, and it’s hard to find a comparison for a Cybertronian lifeform for what she experiences. Even I struggle to wrap my head around it.” Optimus said.

“This could be disastrous.” Arcee replied, “Combined with who her father likely is, we might need to keep a close eye on Buddy. Even more than before. Ratchet, have you ever scanned her?”

Ratchet nodded, “Back when we first found her, yes. Is there something you want me to check?”

Jack piped up, “She said she has two scars, they’re very recent. Did those come up on your scans?”

After some typing, a figure that looked like Buddy showed up on the screen. Two points of trauma, one on her right lower arm’s interior, and one on her midsection. Ratchet nodded, “I was wondering what those were. How did that happen?”

“Not allowed to tell you,” Jack said, “it’s a bit… personal to her. It’s probably best if she tells you herself. I’m not breaking her trust.”

“It’s that bad, huh?” Ratchet sighed, “Very well. I’ll ask Buddy when she’s no longer in pain.”

“Hopefully she’ll be okay tomorrow. She might not feel comfortable coming to base tomorrow. Besides,” Miko cradled her cheeks in her fists while leaning against the railing, “she told me that she’s working on that dress! You know, the one she’s making that has a lot of red… for her sewing class?” The looks of confusion from the others proved that they had no idea what Miko was talking about.

“Nevermind.” Miko grumbled, walking to the couch and sitting next to Rafael. Next time Buddy goes on base, she’s gonna have so much to explain.

#transformers x reader #transformers x platonic reader #menstruation cw #endometriosis cw #self harm tw #tfp optimus prime #tfp ratchet #tfp arcee #tfp smokescreen #tfp bulkhead #mentioned tfp wheeljack #jack darby #miko nakadai #rafael esquivel #mentioned june darby

43 notes · View notes

7-wonders · 2 years

Text

Michael Meets a Baby!

Mad Love!Michael meets a baby for the first time. That's literally it.

Michael has...slowly started to become more comfortable with being around your family. By this, you mean that he doesn't look like they're going to turn on him and kill him at any random moment. Y'know, like his birth family would do. No, your family lacks those homicidal tendencies, even if it is nice to fantasize about stabbing your racist uncle with a butter knife after his umpteenth comment about "illegals."

It's been five days since you arrived home with Michael, five days since you first introduced him to your parents and your home and where you grew up. Now, however, comes the ultimate test to see if he's going to seek a divorce from Satan himself: spending time with your extended family. Nobody wants to miss out on the chance to meet the first romantic partner that you've ever brought home, mainly so that they can embarrass you about it, so a family get-together was quickly planned when you announced that you would be coming home with Michael.

You had warned Michael to stick by you during this event, not wanting him to be cornered and forced into a conversation by your sweet, if not a little overly-flirtatious, grandma. For the most part, making the rounds and showing Michael off has gone good, though you can tell that Michael's out of his element. After all, Michael's good in social situations where he can act like the king that he is. Having to be polite and friendly? He still tends to get shy, which you find incredibly endearing.

At some point, you and Michael had finally escaped the crowd and made it to the relative safety of the living room. You're sat next to each other, your hand on his thigh for reassurance as you both just sit and watch the commotion going on around you. When a few newcomers settle on the floor of the living room, you immediately grin in excitement.

Your cousin had a baby a few months ago, a little girl named Riley. You had met Riley when she was first born, having a school break in the weeks after her birth that allowed you to visit and congratulate your cousin. Now, ten months later, the difference between the wrinkly, crying (albeit cute) infant and the chubby, giggling (and extra-cute) baby is astounding. You're probably biased, but she's the cutest baby you've ever seen.

"Do you wanna go see your Auntie?" your cousin asks her daughter, laughing as she points at you upon noticing who's in the room. The fact that you're not technically her aunt doesn't matter; you and your cousin have always been closer to sisters than cousins, and you're honored to be given such a title.

You forget all about Michael to sit down on the floor opposite your cousin and hold out your hands, allowing her to place a wriggling Riley in your grasp. You can't stop the grin that spreads on your face as she smiles up at you, feeling her warmth as her chubby hands explore your face. You end up with an eye almost poked out and a hand in your mouth, but it's worth it for the laugh that emits from her when you pretend to eat her hand.

After she's settled into sitting on your lap and playing with her foot, you find yourself talking to your cousin's fiancé about your last year of school before you feel eyes on you. Looking up, you see that Michael, who's still sitting on the couch above you, is watching you. More specifically, he's watching the baby.

It hits you then that, oh, Michael's never actually met a baby before. He doesn't have any living family, and a school for magical boys isn't exactly a good place for babies to come and visit. This is his first interaction with an infant, which explains the trepidation with which he's watching you. He looks so unsure of the child in your lap, like she's going to spontaneously combust. This won't do, and you lean back and smile softly towards him.

"C'mere, sit down next to me."

"Are you sure? I don't want to..." Of course he's worried about how the baby will react. It's only natural, considering how he was told his entire life that he's a monster. You push down the rage that you feel at this and nod instead.

"Yes, I'm sure. Don't worry, if she does bite it won't hurt too bad, since she doesn't have too many teeth yet." This breaks the ice, Michael laughing lightly before nodding to himself and sliding down to sit next to you.

Immediately, Riley cranes her body around to look at the newcomer. You can only watch the wide look in Michael's eyes and the way that he silently gasps when Riley smiles at him, obviously enraptured. Her hand stretches out towards him, and slowly, so slowly that you think her baby attention span is going to grow bored of this, he reaches his own hand out to her. His long fingers become her plaything, and Michael can do nothing but let her manhandle his digits as she wraps her fist around two of them and shakes his hand in her grasp while screaming in joy.

"She likes you!" your cousin exclaims from across the room.

Michael tears his eyes away from the baby to smile at your cousin. "She has a funny way of showing it."

"Babies are kinda like little monsters that don't know their own strength. That's why I've always learned to keep my hair tied up."

Riley begins to try and wriggle out of your grasp, and it's obvious that her intended target is Michael. He looks so unsure that it breaks your heart a little bit. Nobody should have ever let such a sweet, gentle soul believe that he was anything other than that. Even your cousin notices his demeanor, and she sits up.

"Do you wanna hold her, Michael?" she asks. Michael looks up at her in bewilderment.

"You'd let me hold her?"

She nods. "Duh. If you're gonna be her Uncle Michael, you're gonna have to hold her at some point."

Now it's your turn to have your breath stolen from you. Obviously you know that Michael's going to be in your life forever, even if your family doesn't yet (since they don't know about the whole Satanic marriage thing). Still, it didn't hit you until now that Michael would also get to share in these moments with you and be incorporated into your extended family in such a way that he'd be an uncle alongside you being an aunt. This means so much to you, that your family is willing to love and accept Michael simply because he's yours.

You try not to cry at the thought and instead nudge Michael's shoulder playfully. "Go on, Uncle Michael. Hold your niece."

He giggles, his cheeks going red at all of the attention. Your heart could seriously burst right now, and you'd die happy. Michael gently removes his hand from Riley's and instead holds out his arms, unsure of what to do next. You pick Riley up from your lap and settle her in his, waiting until Michael awkwardly puts his hands on her to steady her and nods at you before letting her go.

It takes Michael a little bit, but natural instincts finally push through as he becomes more comfortable and settles with Riley in his lap. She seeks out his warmth, cuddling into him, and he can't help but smile down at her as she looks up at him.

"Hi," you hear him whisper down at Riley, down at his niece. Said niece babbles back at him, and Michael nods as though he understands what she's saying.

He's so good at this, even though this is his first time holding a baby. He even feels confident enough to lift her up and cradle her against his chest, giving her easier access to tug on his hair like your cousin warned she would do. Still, he's completely gone for Riley, more than happy to let her pull and mess with his hair, and you just know that she's going to get away with anything in Michael's presence.

Maybe introducing the two wasn't the best idea, but maybe you don't care. You're happy to deal with the consequences if it means you get to see Michael smiling softly as he watches the world through his niece's eyes.

#mad love musings #michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon x reader #american horror story #ahs imagine #american horror story imagine #ahs #michael langdon imagines #ahs apocalypse

418 notes · View notes

chiefduckgarden · 2 years

Text

Roses

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You have give Wanda roses since your were 9 years old, but it's been weeks since the last time you saw your girlfriend and the last time you gave her a rose. Soon she'll find out the reason for your distance and for the lack of flowers around her house.

Words: 5156

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you like it!

----------------

Walking on your way to your girlfriend's house you passed in front of your regular flower shop.

Mariel, the elderly woman who owns the place smiles at you the moment you walked in.

- Y/N! It's good to see you - she greets kindly

- Good evening Mrs. Mariel, how are you doing today? - you asks with smile

- Everything's been lovely here sweetie, but I missed your visits, have you been busy?

You nod and take a glance at the rose the woman it's picking from the bouquet on the shelf.

-Yes, kind of, school has been killing me these last few days and I barely had time to go to Wanda's. - you say, trying to avoid saying the real reasons why you haven't visited Wanda for almost two weeks.

- Here's your regular - she says with a smile handing out the beautiful rose she has picked for you today - I hope this helps you to make up to her for those days

You laugh a little and pay for the flower before making your way to the door. You really hope that flower could help you.

Sometimes your friends would ask, why you always brought only one flower to Wanda. They didn't understand why you didn't give her the full bouquet all in once.

The answer was very simple actually, it was a little tradition that started since you were 9 years old and Wanda was your best friend in middle school.

------

- Hold on sweetheart, let me buy some flowers for your mother - your dad said to you, stopping on a flower stand.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion

- Why are you bringing flowers to mommy?

Your dad laughed a little and payed for the bouquet.

- Sometimes people give flowers to their love ones just as a reminder of how much they love or appreciate them - he explained.

You thought about that for a moment.

- So you are giving flowers to mom because you love her - you said making sure you have understood.

Your father nodded with a smile.

- If I appreciate my friend, that means I can give her flowers ? - you asked

- Yes, well if she likes flowers it would be a nice present.

The next day you took one of the roses from the bouquet your father gave to your mother and put it on your backpack.

When you arrived to school, you waited for your best friend Wanda to arrive.

Once you spotted her on the crowd of kids you made you way towards her.

- Hi Wanda! Hi Pietro! - you greeted the girl and her brother.

- Hi Y/N! - they greeted you back with big smiles.

Pietro ran away from the two of you to meet with his friends and Wanda and you sat on the swings waiting for the bell to ring.

- I got you something - you said happy.

- What is it? - she asked curiously

- First of all, do you like flowers?

The girl nodded with a smile.

- Yes, I like them

- Good, my dad brought flowers to my mom yesterday, and he said that you give flowers to people you appreciate or love, so I brought a flower for you - you said and handed to the girl the flower you had brought to for her.

Wanda smiled and took the beautiful rose from your hands.

- Y/N, this is beautiful

- I know, I hope you like it, I really appreciate that you are my best friend - you said

The girl was mesmerized with your gift. The rose made her feel very special. Without thinking twice, and following her instincts she kissed your cheek. It was a little kiss, pure and innocent, full of grateful. You felt your cheeks turning all red and a smile appeared in your face, your tummy feeling butterflies.

- Why was that for? - you asked still astonished.

- I appreciate your gift too Y/N, it's my way to thank you for it - she said happy.

- So, if i give you another flower, you're gonna give me another kiss? - you asked shyly

She just nodded smiling.

------

From that day on you always tried to bring a flower to Wanda everytime you could. But it was always just one flower (Mostly because at that time you couldn't afford anything more expensive).

Slowly you started developing feelings for her, from a little crush at 10, to really falling in love when you were 14.

At first you thought that those feelings were just one-sided, but near your graduation day Wanda admitted she felt jealous about you asking other girl to go to the prom with you.

Of course you changed your plans and you ended up going with your best friend, and that night you asked her to be your girlfriend.

Since that day on you two became inseparable, and you kept giving her a flower anytime you could. And she kept giving you kisses for it.

But now, you were walking to her home with nothing but bad news.

You made it to her porch, meeting her father painting the front of the house.

- Hello Y/N, it's been a while since the last time I saw walking in here - he says while holding a paint brush on his hand.

- Hello Mr. Maximoff, I know, school keeps me busy, I guess - you say shyly.

He smiles slightly and leaves the paint brush on the can.

- You know your dad told me about New York, don't you?

Your smile fade in a second. Staying still you look to the ground shamed.

- Hey don't worry, I know you don't want to leave, but you need to tell her now or she'll be hurt if you do it too late - the man says as he approaches to you putting a hand or your shoulder.

- But Mr. Maximoff, what if she wants to break up? Maybe she doesn't want to handle with a long distance relationship and I... I don't... - your voice starts to break as little tears are formed in the corner of your eyes.

- Y/N, Wanda would never do that, your love is really strong. Believe me, I've watch my child falling for you since you were 9, I know what I'm saying. You just have to tell her in order to not hurt her feelings and not break the trust you two have built.

You nod looking at the man.

- I know, I'm telling her today I just need to...

Suddenly the door opens and the figure your girlfriend appears in front of you.

- Baby you're here! - she says excited, jumping into your arms.

You catch her in a hug laughing.

- Hello my love, i missed you - you say with the girl still in your arms.

- I missed you too... A lot - she say breaking the hug but with your hands still on her waist and hers in your shoulders.

- Well I'm here now

She smiles slowly approaching to your lips when the sudden cough of her father breaks your moment.

- Oh dad, I didn't saw you there - Wanda says sheepishly taking a little distance from you.

- Yeah I noticed, I was having a word with Y/N before she got in there - he says looking at you.

- Oh no, what did you say to her? - the girl asks worried

- Nothing bad, I swear - he says taking his paint brush again and making his way back to what he was doing.

She looks at you and you wink at her.

- We just talk about my absence this last weeks, that's all - you say and she smiles.

- Well let's get inside, my mother just baked chocolate chip cookies.

You nod and take her hand to start walking.

- Have fun girls, but not too much - her father says and Wanda rolls her eyes while you just smile a little.

Once in the kitchen you meet her mother, Irina and Pietro.

- Hello sweetheart, it's so lovely to see you around - the woman says to you and gives you a hug.

- Hello Mrs. Maximoff, it's really nice to see you too - you greet smiling.

- Hi Y/N - Pietro says with a cookie on his mouth

- Hi Piet, good to see you - you say to him with a fist.

- So we're taking some cookies upstairs mom - Wanda says putting some of the cookies in a plate and holding your hand.

- Okay girls, I'll call you when dinner is ready - Irina says and you and Wanda nod.

Once alone in the girl's room she locks the door and the first thing she does is give you a long kiss.

Your hands goes to her waist and her arms round your neck.

- I really missed you detka - she says between kisses.

- I know, I missed you even more - you say pulling her closer to you.

After a few minutes of kissing she pulls away and stares at you smiling.

- I really missed this sight - you furrow your eyebrows in confusion - You with my lipstick all over your cute face - she explains and you laugh.

- Well I missed being cover all by your lipstick my love - you answer and she pecks your lips once more.

- Did you bring my flower? - she asks you with a light of hope in her eyes.

- You know I always do - you say and show her the rose that you've been holding in your right hand since you met her on her porch.

She takes it and then she kisses you again.

- Thanks baby, I missed your flowers... Damn I missed everything about you.

You both laugh and you pull her in an embrace.

- Me too Wanda.

You stay like that for a couple of minutes. Just feeling each other and enjoying each other's presence.

- So are we going to eat those cookies or? - you ask and she pulls out from the hug

- Sure bug, let's eat some cookies.

You and Wanda take the plate and get outside her window, sitting in the roof and enjoying the view. After finish eating you lay in there and she cuddles with you, her arm laying on your stomach and her head resting on your chest. Soft music on the back and a warm breeze on the air. The moment it's perfect. You know it's time to talk.

- Honey - you call her out softly, not wanting to break the calm of the moment.

- Hmm - she answers

- We need to talk... Or I need to tell you something - you say.

She gets up from your chest and looks at you worried and confused.

- What happened baby? Is everything okay?

- Yes but there's something I need to talk to you about.

She nods.

- Okay, what is it? - she asks again.

You take a deep breath, not wanting to meet her eyes. A silence takes place between you two.

- Y/N you're scaring me, what happened? - she tries again.

Okay, it's time.

- Wanda, do you remember when I told you that my father got a call from his job where they told him that he could get a promotion?

- Yes, you told me a few months ago, why?

You take another breath and start playing with your rings nervously.

- Well, a few weeks ago he got a call again and they told him that after some tests he got the promotion.

- Oh my God baby, that is amazing! Your parents must be so happy about this! - she congrats your father happily.

- Yes they are, they're even throwing a party next week to celebrate, they told me to invite you and your family - you say and she smiles.

- Thanks babe, you know we're obviously going, my parents will be very happy for your father too

You smile a little and then look at your hands avoiding her gaze for the next part of your news.

- There's something more - you say

- What? What do you mean? - she asks confuse.

Finally getting the courage to look her in the eyes you say.

- The promotion means he needs to move to New York to work in the central office of the company... And they require him to be there as soon as possible - you finally drop the bomb.

You see her face expression change, appalled by the new information.

- New York?... So you're mov... You're moving? Like... you're really leaving? - she rambles.

- Yes, it looks like it - you say

She gets up and gets inside her bedroom again. You follow her immediately.

- Wanda, what are you thinking? - you ask.

She sits on the bed and you do the same taking a sit next to her.

- When did you knew about this?

Her question takes you by surprise. It's been exactly two weeks and three days since your father told you about this, two weeks and three days since you told Wanda you were very busy to go to her house.

- Y/N I asked you something. When did your father told you about this?

You look at ground.

- Two weeks ago.

She gasp a little, but you can't look at her.

- Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? How much time do you have left? - you can hear her voice raising, she's getting mad.

- About one week, we're leaving the day after the party - you say.

- One week?! You only had three weeks left in here and you waited until the last week to tell me about this. What were you thinking? We could've done so many thing in that time. You were waiting to tell me on your way to the airport? Are you gonna break up with me? - she starts yelling.

- What? No! No! I would never... I was just... I'm sorry Wanda. I just didn't knew how to tell you about this...

She laughs bitterly.

- Yeah, waiting till now was the best way Y/N...

She stands from the bed and walks towards her window. The night had fall to this point and the moon was starting to shine.

You stay on the bed, unsure on what to do.

- Are you gonna break up with me? - you ask out of a sudden.

She turns to see you, shaking her head

- No, never, I'm just mad that you didn't told me about this sooner... We could've talk about it and find a solution

- There's no solution baby, I need to go with my parents - you say finally standing up from the bed and wrapping her in an embrace.

She starts crying on your shoulder and silently you start crying too.

- I don't want you to go... I need you - she says

- I need you too, but we can make this work if you want to try, and i promise I understand if you don't cause I know long distance relationships are not for everybody

- Didn't you heard me? I'm NOT breaking up with you - she says with her head still on your shoulder - I'm your girlfriend and you're mine, here, in New York and in any other part of the world. I love you Y/N...

- And I love you too.

-Girls dinner is ready! - your hear her mom shouting from the hall and knocking on the door.

- Yes mom, just a minute - she says separating from you, sniffling her nose as you try to wipe the tears from your eyes.

- Let's have dinner okay? Then we'll go back to this conversation - you say and she nods - Do you think they'll know we cried? - you ask and she laughs.

- Probably...

You both laugh and go downstairs. Just as you said, her family notice your faces and her mother looks to her father worried.

- I see you told her already - her father says.

You nod and Wanda looks at you confuse

- My father knew about it? - she asks

- Yes, my dad told him - you explain to her.

She looks at her father with a clearly upset face.

- You knew it and you didn't told me? I could've scold her about it before - she says and her father laughs a little

- Sorry honey, it wasn't my place to tell you - Olef says.

- Tell her what? Why did you scolded Y/N? What are you all talking about? - Pietro says even more confuse than his sister.

- My father got a promotion on his job and we have to move to New York - you explain your friend and his face change immediately.

- What?! Why nobody told me about this? - he starts talking - Are you leaving school?

- No Piet, I'll drive every day from New York to come here for school - you say humorous.

He shakes his head and laughs - Yeah sorry, I got nervous.

Everybody laugh and start eating dinner.

- But yeah, my school in New York is ready, they're expecting to have me there in three weeks - you explain bringing the school topic back to the conversation.

Wanda looks away from you trying not to cry. But hearing that you already had your life planned in New York makes her sad and upset.

- Three weeks? So you're getting to know the city for two weeks before school - Irina says and you nod

- Yes, my father needs to be there next week but I'll have two free weeks - you explain.

Pietro and Wanda look at each other. Definitely their twin connection was still working after so many years.

- So you're saying that you don't need to leave next week? That you could stay for another two weeks and there would be no problem? - Pietro says trying to explain his point hoping you would understand.

- Well they want me to go with them but... Yes maybe I could stay here until I had to go to school - you say happily, understanding what your friend wanted to say

- And you can stay here with us! - Irina says excited - If Olef agrees, of course

Wanda's father smiles.

- Of course I agree, we just need to talk with Y/N's parents

And so you did, that night when you come back home you talk with your parents about your little plan. After so many talks with you and Wanda's parents they allowed you to stay a couple days more before going to New York.

It was Thursday and Wanda was helping you to pack some of your clothes to stay at her house and to pack all of your things for New York.

- I want to keep some of your sweatshirts and t-shirts with me - she request, standing in front of your almost empty closet.

You look at her smiling

- Of course honey, but only if I can take some of yours with me too - you also request and she nods.

- Of course you're taking some of mines too, I want you to keep me as close as I will keep you - she says walking towards you - Then, when we see each other again we'll trade clothes once more.

You frown, setting your arms around her waist.

- Why?

- So then your clothes will have your scent fresh new and it will be like having you with me all the time - she says hugging you close, resting her head on your chest and closing her eyes.

You rest your head on top of hers and close your eyes as well.

- God I love you so much - you say.

The soft music playing on the background creates a lovely atmosphere for the two of you.

After a few minutes Wanda looks up to you.

- Y/N what will happen to my roses? - she asks looking straight at you.

- What do you mean?

- Well, if you're not gonna be here, who is going to give me roses?

You sigh.

- Will you wait for me to bring you roses again? I promise to give you roses everytime I came back, just wait for me okay?

She looks at you for a moment and then she hides her face on the crock of your neck.

- I will wait for you a lifetime, It's just... - she sigh heavily, tears starting to form on her eyes.

- What is it my love? Why do you cry? - you ask rubbing your hand up and down her back.

- It's just... I don't want you to give roses to other girls - she finally says allowing herself to cry out loud.

- What?

She finally looks at you, your thumb removes the tears running down her cheeks.

- Talk to me my love - you say softly, leaving a kiss on her forehead.

Tears keeps running down and her little sobs begins to increase.

- You know I love you Wanda, you are the love of my life, the only one for me - you say after some silence moments - Just tell me what's going on that beautiful head of yours.

She closes her eyes for second before talking.

- Y/N, New York is really far from here... From me, you're going to meet tons of people and have new experiences on that beautiful city. I don't want to feel like I'm holding you back, like I'm holding you from living your new life far from this small town and out into the real world...

You look at her in disbelief. What is she talking about?

- Wanda you would never hold me from anything, if any, you are only holding me from tearing myself apart - you say taking her face in your hands - I love you Wanda, you mean everything to me and there's nothing I would love more than spend the rest of my life by your side so, please don't think ever again that you are holding me from living, cause "it's not living if it's not with you" - you say smiling and she smiles at reference of one of her favorite songs.

- I know you love me Y/N, and I love you too, but I can't help to feel scare of the distance and the time apart, what if you meet someone? A girl more beautiful, more interesting, someone who can be there with you all the time... - she confesses her insecurities looking down at the floor.

- You can trust me, even if I were moving to other universe I will never stop loving you, you've been my one and only since we were like 9, I don't want to be with anyone else because you are everything I want and everything I need. And I'm so lucky because you love me back Wanda.

- I love you too Y/N, I'm sorry I'm causing all this drama, I'm just really scare but believe me when I say that I trust you, I know you could never hurt me... I'm sorry

- No, no, no, don't apologize darling, i'm glad you talked about this now. As you say, the distance and the time will play against us, so talking about how we feel will be really good for us, you know how important communication is.

She nods.

- Feel free to talk to me about everything you feel Wanda, I will always listen.

- I will always listen to you too my love.

It's now her turn to remove your tears with her thumb.

- Gosh, will we ever stop crying? - you joke and she laughs.

- I don't think that will happen anytime soon.

After a few minutes you go back to your packing duties and in the afternoon your room is clean and there's only your bed remaining. Wanda and you are now cuddle on the bed, sharing a box of Icee Jelly Beans.

- Thanks for helping my love, it would have take me a lifetime without you.

- Well, I needed to make sure you leave some of your things here with me.

Wanda filled an entire box with some of your belongings that were now hers. Some sweatshirts, sweatpants, t-shirts, also some photos of the two of you and your favorite teddy bear from where when you were a kid.

The next day your parents host a party with all of their friends and some of yours too. Wanda kept you close all day and in the night all of the guests raised a toast for you and your parents.

Later that night it's just yours and Wanda's family left, your parents with the luggage ready to leave.

- Well, I think this is all, the moving company will be here in tomorrow to get everything, please be here to supervise everything - you father says to you.

- Don't worry dad, I will be here tomorrow - you say hugging him - And then I'll see you in New York

- Two weeks Y/N, two weeks Wanda Maximoff - he directs playfully to you and your girlfriend - I don't want to hear that the two of you elope or something.

Everyone laugh.

- Don't worry my friend, I'll make sure that doesn't happen - Oleg says - And don't worry about the moving, I'll be here with Y/N to make sure everything is in order.

- Thank you so much Oleg, and thank you too Irina, for allowing my daughter to stay with you - your mother now talks.

After an hour or so, everybody say goodbye and you leave your house to go with Wanda.

The next weeks are amazing. You spend all of your time with Wanda some of your friends. You make picnics, go to the amusement park, go swimming, go to the beach and in the nights you cuddle with Wanda and hold her impossibly close, not wanting to let her go.

Before you notice, it's now your last day home.

You prepared a beautiful picnic with Wanda, just for the two of you. So now you both are walking through the beach looking for a place to have your picnic.

When you found the perfect spot, you begin to put everything in place and start eating the snacks you and your girlfriend prepared one night before.

- I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow - she says - This weeks passed so quickly, it's not fair.

- I know love, time will never be enough when we are together.

- I wish you could stay longer - she says sadly.

- Me too darling, but I'm not leaving forever, I'll be back for the holidays in Christmas and New Year, then I'll come for your birthday and your are going to visit me for my birthday and on spring break next year - you say trying to cheer her up - We are gonna be fine, i promise.

- I know, I believe in us - she says placing a hand over your hand - Just don't forget my rose whenever you're back - she says kind of joking but reminding you about her precious flowers.

- Of course not, I will never forget about it - you tell her.

After finishing eating you pick up the rest of the food and lay on a blanket on the sand, watching the sea and the sky. Wanda lays comfortably half of her body on top of yours, her head on your chest and one of your hands caressing her back.

- Baby are you falling asleep? - you ask her softly.

- Mmm - that's the only sound she makes.

- Don't close your eyes, we need to go back to your house before night falls.

She turns to look at you.

- Or your father will think we elope and he's gonna hate me for the rest of my life - you say joking, making her laugh.

- That doesn't seem like a bad idea - she says smiling, giving you a peck on the lips - You and me, together for the rest of our lives.

You laugh.

- Talking about that, I got you something - you tell her, sitting and reaching for your backpack.

- What is it?

- Close your eyes, and give me your left hand

She nods and gives you her hand. You took the ring you bought for her and slide it in her ring finger.

- Okay, now you can see.

She gasps when she sees the ring on her finger, it was beautiful, gold with three small green rocks embedded in it.

- Y/N... This is beautiful - she says.

- The rocks are green, just as your eyes.

She smiles and gives you a kiss.

- And the best part it's that I have one for myself too - you show her your left hand.

- I love it so much, thank you my love

You both kiss deeply.

- These are promise rings Wanda, they are my promise to you to one day give you engagement ones - you say after finishing kissing.

She looks at you smiling, hope and happiness on her eyes.

- I can't wait to spend my life with you

- One day it will be just me and you, forever

After a few more minutes, you start picking everything up to head home.

You have your luggage prepare on the Maximoff's living room and the next morning everyone takes you to the airport.

- Is everything in order Y/N? - Oleg asks you before leaving the house

- Yes Mr. Maximoff, thank you so much again, for letting me stay in your house and take to the airport

He smiles.

- It's been a pleasure, you're part of the family Y/N

Wanda holds your hand all the way to the airport and after doing check-in it's time for you to board your flight.

- I hope you like what I left for you in your room - you tell her.

- What? - she asks confuse

- It's one for each week we'll be apart - you say

- What do you mean?

- You'll find it out when you get home, okay? I'll text you when I land on New York and I will call you in the night

She's really confuse about what you just told her but kiss you once more before you have leave.

Once the Maximoffs made sure your flight was in the air they leave the airport.

When Wanda is back at her house she goes straight to her room. She gasps the moment she opens the door.

- Oh my God

Spread on her bed she founds rose petals and a big bouquet of roses place in the middle. She walk slowly and after admiring it for a minute she takes the note that's place on the top of the bouquet.

"It's one for each week we'll be apart" she reads on the note.

Tears already start forming on her eyes.

"Hello my love, If you're reading this i'ts because you already saw the flowers. I finally got you the whole bouquet hahaha. As I probably told you, it's one rose for each week we'll be apart.

I can't wait for the moment I see you again, I'll bring your rose with me.

Wait for me my love, by your window as you always do and one day you'll see me walking to your house again, with your rose my hand.

I'm always with you. You can call me whenever you need it, I'll always answer.

Pd. Remember the deal Maximoff, it's a kiss for one rose, your debt can be paid once I'm back"

She takes the note close to her chest and allow herself to cry again. Walking through her window She stares at the view.

She'll wait for you, in hopes of you coming back to her, bringing her roses.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x y/n #wandavision #marvel #wanda x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen fanfic #wanda maximoff fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #elizabeth olsen #lizzie olsen #wanda x reader #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #multiverse of madness

712 notes · View notes