#the possibility of me being bi or trans. the answer is always that i dont want to be a man or attracted to men

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Thank you so much for your extensive answer! It helps a lot! If it's alright, I'd like to ask an add-on question. How would you go about peppering in / hinting at a character being trans without outright stating they are? If they're not a main character, I'm not entirely sure how to go about it, especially if the main character hasn't known them since before they came out. It seems to me this would be a bit different than hinting at a character not being straight (though I still struggle with that despite being bi myself) but that might be bc I dont write about romantic attraction at all in my works, but I figured that something usually physical like being trans would out itself differently? Hopefully this isn't too confusing. Tl;dr: any tips on writing a trans character that isn't the protag? And is there a way to hint at them being trans esp if they go stealth? Thank you again! Even if you can't answer this, your other answer has helped tremendously already so thank you very much

Honestly. I always finds jokes are a great way to come out.

When I was still a women I worked at a park. I came out during a joke when another co-worker (the only other women) was talking about an attractive guy like "[name] gets it." I joked back that I sided with the guys. From then on it was a running joke. One of my co-workers sat down in a seat right after another got up and commented "damn, brain has a hot ass" because the seat was so warm. Our boss happened to walk past at that exact moment and joked that he was coming out of the closet. "I dunno about you, but [name] and I like chicks."

It was all good fun and it made it more enjoyable then stressful or awkward. I have done similar things for being trans. There's a lot of clever ways to slip in jokes that won't distract from the story while still being pretty clear.

Another option would be to go through some of the struggles of the actual process. Possible ideas:

-they're in the process of getting a legal name change. So work/student emails, official paperwork might have the wrong name. You can have someone notice this, or have them complain about it. That's actually how I got outted at my current job. My work email wasn't changed yet despite me already having a name change since I didn't have a new social security card yet.

-if they're working somewhere they might just say "hey, my mom might call the office/store today. If a women asks for someone named [name] then come get me." <- idea being their mom isn't accepting/doesn't know they are trans.

-they can just casually mention something related to it. Similar to how a women might say "my wife and I did [x] this weekend" a trans person might mention something like being nervous about going swimming cuz they don't pass as well in swimsuit. Or complaining about getting their prescription filled cuz pharmacies can be frustrating sometimes. Depending on if they're friends or if they joined another conversation they might be talking about binding/tucking, how the gel packs for hrt dries out their arms, dealing with facial hair, their voice, etc etc.

-as for stealth that'll be harder without lending into it being more ambiguous than clearly established. More so if it's a minor character. Some ideas off the top of my head would be having the wrong name on their ID when they get ID checked for something and it's commented on being a strange name. They have to laugh it off and say that's why they use a nickname. An example of his would be the show monkie kid. The main character has a nickname and anytime anyone learns his read name (never shown) they comment that it doesn't fit. This has lead to a lot of head cannons.

-Or if they are a trans man who just recently started hrt his voice might crack. Maybe he's weirdly knowledgeable about pads and tampons. There's lots of reasons for that beyond trans so it'd be a possible hint, not a clear one.

-Same thing if they know a lot about girl/boy scouts despite being male/female. Perhaps they have an award that is gender dependant hanging in their home. Ex: girl scout gold award or the equivalent boy scout eagle scout award.

Thats all I can think of right now. But if anyone else has ideas feel free to add. Good luck writing!

#answered #ask #not discourse #advice #writing #long post #trans

[cosmicanger]

don't you find it disrespectful that wintercorrybriea is trying to appear gay/trans just for clout

will only respond to one anon message per month and this one is good: so one, “coming out of the closet” some white shit, some neoliberal nonsense and honestly doesn’t help any Black person under hyper-visibility in this global anti-Black world. Idc if any Black person is DL or “closeted” if they are not abusive or harmful. But there is a way to talk about how alt bros like winter navigate online. another note: because of anti-Blackness, all nondarkskinned ppl of all races who are also not fat get roped into ambiguous more than others so dont think the “baiting” is there when it comes to winter.

from Wiki: “Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ+ representation. The purpose is to attract a LGBTQ+ or straight ally audience with the suggestion or possibility of relationships or characters that appeal to them.”

Some people hone into the “marketing technique” part of the definition to say “queerbaiting” cannot be used for people, but I would argue that because of how social capital works, everyone is branding to some degree so yes, people as brands can queerbait and winter is definitely queerbaiting. His brand implies being “bi” or “pan”, but always avoids answering while also still branding as kinda bi or pan. Like if he never mentioned or alluded to his sexuality on his blog, then sure, I wouldnt say he is queerbaiting. But he doesnt post all of his anons so he chooses to post the ambiguous sexuality posts to market himself. cis men of all races know being ambiguous w their sexuality is profitable like stop acting brand new. got one of the best blogs on here but DARVO from him and others on here affecting me so idc to talk about those antiBlack microcelebs anymore, thank you.

#wintercorrybriea2 #wintercorrybriea #anon asks #anon ask

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

wait so not aggressive or trying to start a full blown debate here but in regards to your last post, what is an mspec lesbian? i've also heard the term thrown around in twitter discourse and the like but still have no clue wtf it is if you could explain in like,, very simplified terms i'd really appreciate that

ofc anon ! always happy to help

this post is usually my go to for definitions, resources, exclu talking points, and history but ill try to expand a bit on those definitions here with my own experiences to help along and make it more understandable

(its gonna be a long post though sorry, its kinda hard to make it short while also making it as understandable as possible !)

-

oh and quick note : mspec stands for multi attraction spectrum aka labels like bi, pan, omni, etc. NOT for male spectrum

-

Split attraction

Yk how ace ppl arent always aro ? Thats called split attraction, and its not just an ace thing. Some ppl are for example homoromantic bisexual or panromantic homosexual and might call themselves mspec lesbians. Personally, im romantically attracted to all genders but sexually attracted to only women !

Mspec lesbian is easier, quicker, and more comfortable to say than the whole "mspecromantic homosexual". Plus barely anyone calls themself a homosexual anymore unless its a joke or theyre a "homosexual female" terf which is,,, yuck

Huge preference towards women

Some ppl like multiple genders but their attraction towards men is so rare that theyre functionally a lesbian

The only time i was ever attracted to a man (in a non comphet way) was a purely romantic crush at 14

I dont want to completely ignore that side of me, bc i Am mspec and i do have the potential to be attracted to all genders, but at the end of the day, my attraction to women is much more frequent and important to me

Calling myself a lesbian just makes sense to me. It communicates what i want it to which is "i like women"

Im not sure ill ever like a man again, so calling myself just mspec feels a bit strange to say the least nor does it communicate what i want

Calling myself both mspec And a lesbian is like saying "i like women !! ,,,and maybe more" which is the most accurate and true to myself

Liking multiple genders that dont include men / Liking women and nonbis

"But nonbis are included in lesbianism !!" and youd be right to say that ! However, not all nonbis are comfortable being put under the lesbian label

Also, lots of ppl seem to define lesbianism as "attraction to women and nonmen" which is,,, not a great definition and just creates a new binary

Nonbis come in a million different flavors and not all of them fit in the "non men" category. What abt transmascs, genderfluid ppl who are sometimes men, and mutligender ppl who are part men ? Are they included in lesbianism ? If not, what do you call someone whos attracted to women and all nonbis but not binary men ?

For a lot of people, the answer to those questions is mspec lesbianism

Reclamation of historical definition

Lesbian didnt always mean exclusive attraction to women. It was used a lot more like sapphic is today. However, this changed with the rise of political lesbianism and lesbian seperatism

Political lesbianism is a political theory that was spearheaded by cis white lesbian terfs in the 60s and 70s, such as Sheila Jeffreys. Its the idea that sexuality is a choice, and that women should choose to be lesbians to free themselves from the patriarchy. It considered lesbians to be ideologically superior to wlm

Lesbian seperatism is a severe form of political lesbiansnism, and is the idea that women should have little to no contact with men at all

This hurt a lot of ppl including mspec women (for liking men), trans women (for being amab) and woc (for working with men of color towards liberation)

It was gross all around and mspecs were pushed out of their own communities. After all that and stonewall, we started getting more bi exlusive groups and orgs which is really wonderful ! Still, some ppl werent too happy and chose to call themselves lesbians or bi lesbians regardless

The trend of reclamation has been ongoing since then and theres tons of historical examples

-

theres some other definitions like fluid attraction and questioning between mspec and lesbian but i think those cover the main ones !

if you have any questions, or would like me to clear anything up dont hesitate to ask :]

#half the reason i have anon on is so ppl can come and ask me abt exactly this topic #im very happy to educate ppl and share my experience ! #amber actually saying stuff #mspec lesbian #ask

[distraughtlesbian]

neil newbon gender envy

#a man will be like *has an ear piercing* and i have to sit down and discuss with myself #the possibility of me being bi or trans. the answer is always that i dont want to be a man or attracted to men #but the emotional turmoil is still there <3 #why cant i have taste. after everything ive suffered i still have to go through identity crises over a neverending list of mildly gnc men? #honestly if u are a man and you have long hair or piercings or wear nail polish or makeup #please do not look at me ever because i will commit all of the 7 gender deadly sins <3 love and light #maeve speaks #neil newbon #karl heisenberg #elijah kamski #gavin reed #resident evil 8 #re8 #resident evil village #resident evil: village #detroit become human #dbh #detroit: become human #detroit: bh #that one fucking kia commercial was what sparked all this #all this envy? over some white guy in a CAR COMMERCIAL? #i hate it here (my body) #i amn just. a little genderfucked lesbian.

[girl4music]

So in my search for characters from TV shows that I believe provide the most significant characterization, representation, development and evolution, I've found the character Willow Rosenberg, and of course there's always been Gabrielle from Xena. But I need more characters that undergo incredibly strong and substantial character development throughout the entire life-span of the TV show and I'm asking for recommendations because you guys know your television shit on Tumblr and I don't watch much TV.

Here are the requirements:

1. (most important) This character has to go through a huge transformation mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to the capacity where I will disagree with them or feel dissonant towards them and I would feel the need to insert myself in the TV show to call them out or slap them across the face at some points. I want them to SHAKE me. If I don't feel that towards them, they're not worth my time or attention. And believe me, I have a high threshold for this because I like to LEARN.

2. I would prefer cisgender female since that's what I am and I want to be able to relate to and resonate as much as possible but it's not that big of a deal so can be of any gender identity or sexuality or fluctuating.

3. The TV show must be a DRAMA or a dramedy (drama-comedy). Reason for this being I often find pure comedies to have shite writing and the characters can come across annoying or even insulting because of this. So TV shows like 'Glee' is no go for me. Not that that has shite writing. It's just I've already seen it and I wasn't particularly interested in any of the characters from it. Can be any other genre along with DRAMA too. (action, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, thriller, romance, ect.) Suprise me so long as it's not a pure comedy.

4. In order to have significant character characterization, representation, development and evolution for ALL the side and recurring characters and not just the main (I. E. the protagonist/hero of the TV show), the TV show must last longer than 2 seasons. And I don't want no cancelled and left on a cliffhanger bullshit. Full shows with a conclusion.

5. Give me somebody to root for. Meaning can be an antagonist/villain who has a redemption arc of some kind and joins up with the protagonist/hero at some points to help them out or even is the flawed protagonist/hero of the TV show themselves that needs to do some growing. Think of characters like Xena, Spike, Zuko, Ares, Callisto, Korra.

Or an underdog for whatever reason that doesn't recieve the attention or credit they deserve and gains leading ground with more and more screen-time given to them to flesh out their arc with this. Think of characters like Gabrielle, Willow, Katara, Toph.

6. Can be any TV show from any point in time. 80's, 90's, 2000's or recent. Whatever. But preferably something that isn't dated before the 80's so the picture quality is somewhat watchable on a 55 inch screen TV.

7. Can be either live action or animation or a mix of both (I. E Lizzie McGuire) but not a show that's for toddlers. So that leaves teenagers/adolescents/coming-of-age or just all out adult. I have no issue with sex/violence/gore/addiction themes. In fact I'd prefer it for the sake of the character dealing with heavy shit that causes them to go on a roller-coaster ride of emotions often. Remember the point is for me to relate to or resonate with it. I am 28 years old. So unless it's family-oriented like Lizzie McGuire, I don't want Disney/Nickelodeon/Cartoon Network TV shows. And I've seen most of them anyway.

8. If it includes Black/POC or LGBTQ+ representation (which I would prefer it to do so), I must absolutely attest that there be NO QUEERBAITING, NO RACISM, NO HOMO/BI/TRANS/QUEER/XENOPHOBIA within the writing. While I realize that the latter is a good confliction and compelling storyline, understand that I am absolutely fed up of tropes like Bury Your Gays, Man-Inserted, It-Was-All-A Dream/Mental Illness or anything where it makes you percieve any of the characters as complete fucking dicks surrounding this. They can still be complete fucking dicks in other ways.

9. Depending on how dated it is, I want decent graphics, special FX and clever use of environment/props. Anything of a CGI or anime style cannot be lazy because it takes the human realism away from it. I like characters to look HUMANOID. No animal-hybrid shite.

10. Does NOT have to be English or of an American/Western production. Can be of any language or culture whatsoever. I am trying to get more into watching something beyond my own backgarden as far as languages/communications go. Obviously, it needs to have English subtitles or text of some kind though because there'd be no point to me watching it if I can't even understand it. I only speak/read English.

That's my lot for requirements and the dos and donts. You have free reign with everything else. Somebody please answer this post. 🙏

#recommendations #TV shows #characterization #representation #development #evolution #willow rosenberg #gabrielle #buffy the vampire slayer #xena warrior princess

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

#markiplier #transphobia #trans pride #lgbtq #muslim #huniepop #markiplier manor #pro choice #toxic groups #toxic fanbase #sia #music the movie #problematic content #huniepop2 #albeism #hypocrisy #hypocrites #discord

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

CW: sex, Im hoping Wes (or Max?) can answer this if at all possible (since Im ftm). I enjoy sex and thankfully during it, or if Im really into it I don't think about dysphoria but afterwards I always feel pretty dysphoric because Im almost always the bottom (getting penetrated), or submissive if I want to get kinky. I know this is irrational given cis men can be bottoms and submissive but ya know. Sorry this isn't about being bi, most trans blogs I usually go to seem inactive rn.

Hi nonnie! It's Wes. I definitely understand the dysphoria & anxiety around this - I don't really have bottom dysphoria but I really enjoy penetration & sometimes I get social dysphoria around that even just internally (since I am not really sexual with anyone at this time). I dont want to assume but it kinda sounds like youre dating a cis man & I can imagine that would add to the dysphoria afterwards.

Are you able to talk to your partner about this? Maybe it would help if you topped and/or dommed more often during sex. I know gay culture is very Top vs Bottom(TM) but I think it's really normal to switch things up as a part of a healthy sex life. Your partner might not realize youre feeling the way you are, especially if they are cis, and end up repeating these roles because they think you really enjoy or prefer it that way and not even think about how it might be triggering some dysphoria for you. Either way I think talking to your partner about how you feel is the best step so they can consider this.

Also I think something to think about too is considering ways of being sexual that may not require penetration ? Like mutual masturbation , bringing in (more?) toys to use on each other, those types of acts/positions.

Lastly I do want to say that it might also be good to think about if you feel affirmed in your gender often ? Are the people in your life really supportive & affirm you ? Are there times you get misgendered a lot (not necessarily by ur partner or friends but just in general like at work or when u go to the store, etc.) ? A lot of times Ive found that my own general dysphoria about Being A Real Boy(TM) comes out in different ways like in overanalyzing certain things I do & worry about it not being masculine enough or that other people see it as me being a girl. That can be another thing too, is maybe reach out to your whole support system & ask for some extra gender affirmation. I think everyone gets insecure about aspects of themselves and sometimes need to reach out & be reaffirmed by their friends and loved ones that The Thing theyre so worried about is not true.

Either way I hope that you're able to find a way to alleviate that dysphoria to enjoy the sex life you have with your partner. Hope this helps !!

Wes

[aromoji]

FAQ

(Pwease no rebloggy, this is subject to change)

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here. For some reason both black Africans and black Americans seem to have a problem with that. I will not elaborate on this.

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked 

I’ve already answered this

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

This person explains it better than I can. Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriative at all. Also shut up, racist.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-lgbt- cishet, or people who aren’t lgbt

non trans - cis

etc

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. Die mad about it.

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]!

I usually double check myself, just to be sure. If the person’s url is uncensored I’m not going to post the ask

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Are you an anti?

Yes. Here’s why

Please don’t send asks about this

Are you an inclusionist/exclusionist?

Yes and no. I do think aces + aros are lgbt but they still should have spaces outside of the lgbt community because they have issues that both overlap with the lgbt community but are also different as well. Idk wtf is going on with the inclus community, but exclus are nonetheless insufferable, I’ve never met a single ‘respectful’ exclusionist who doesn’t thinks unironically calling themselves an aphobe is a personality trait or doesn’t reblog from people who feel that way. As someone who’s definetly not cishet in any sense of the word, I don’t believe the acecourse is about the “cishet aces and aros” like they claim.

Also as an addendum: I don’t like being called queer nor do I agree with calling people who do not reclaim the term as such, but that doesn’t mean people who are comfortable with the label shouldnt be allowed to reclaim it for themselves and take pride in it. Unironically calling yourself a queerphobe is cringe bro, and calling people “kweers” is disrespectful to asian queer people who use it as a personal identity

I’m also pro-pansexuality, no I don’t think pan people oppress or harm me as a bi (and trans) person. Yes, they should check their transphobia, but that is the case for people of any orientation.

Please don’t send asks about this. I am not a discourse blog, and I’m trying to stay as far away from any lgbt related discourse as possible, but I want to makae my stances clear for anyone that wants to follow me and must know before doing so. 

Do you need dysphoria to be trans?

No. Next question. 

Please don’t send asks about this

Are you pro/anti mogai?

I dont personally engage with the mogai community (and I’m pretty sure a lot of the identies people make fun of are literal trolls. Come on, no one’s actually calling themselves audiosexual...right?) but people who use mogai as an insult or run flop accounts  are cringe.

Please don’t send asks about this

Why do you continue to use the ace flag even though known homophobe David Jay made it?

He didn’t. It was created by a user named standup on the AVEN website, who has no connection to David Jay himself. A lot of aces don’t even know who the fuck this person is anyways.

Edit: I no longer identify as ace but this still stands.

Please don’t send asks about this.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?

Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I dont usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or instagram.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave.I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE.

Hey, I can’t see your blog or reblog your posts!

You were blocked. And now you’re block evading. I don’t remeber why I specifically blocked a user, but it’s most likely because you’re on my dni.

But I’m not on your dni?

You probably said or did something annoying then. Lol.  Or you’ve added a stupid comment to someone else’s posts and I don’t want that nonsense on mine, so I blocked preemptively.

There’s the occasionaly chance while I was blocking people on a spree in the notes of a bad post you may have gotten caught in the fray, and if so, I apologize.

However, there’s also a chance you also blocked me on @mojiis and yet continued to interact here. So I blocked back.

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come up on this blog a lot.  I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I’ve decided in order to be fair I’m tagging any possible lgbt related slur as the letter itself. Hopefully those who dont want to see it will have it black listed and I wont offend the people who reclaim it. I don’t tag the n word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals. 

Do you want to be mutuals?

 I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 17. I’m sure you’re a nice person, but don’t post about things I’m interested in.

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but dont take my word for it. I’m also tme, ablebodied, not jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny,  (physical?) ableism, antisemeitsm, “sycourse”, etc. 

I might be able to give advice on school related stuff, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

What’s your main blog?

If you know, you know.

Why do you continuously move mains/change urls/update themes?

I’m inconsitent. Plus someone is stalking me.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?

Of course!

#text #✨.txt

[yomiel]

please inform me about the lore of the little scout man i dont know him

OH MAN FINALLY I CAN ANSWER THIS!!! alright so the scout (real name: jeremy) okay the basic story is he was born the youngest of 8 brothers from the south side of boston. from a young age he learned to solve problems with his fists but as the smallest of his brothers he was always the last to make it to street fights, only managing to get in punching distance after the fight was over. so he trained himself to be faster than anyone else so he could be first in! he joined the mann co mercenary team at age 19 and is the youngest merc, being around 26 as of the most recent story comic ‘the naked and the dead’.

scout is hyper, loud, snarky, and thinks very highly of himself: overall pretty annoying, just like he is to fight against in game. but he’s a fun character with a romantic streak (he has a crush on his boss’s assistant ms pauling and when he thought he had only three days left to live he spent it preparing to ask her on a date) and a weird obsession with tom jones (he has a misspelled ‘sex bom’ tattoo on his chest apparently and has spent much of his mercenary money on tom jones memorabilia in hopes of making a profit when he dies). he also likes drawing and baseball!

in the ‘meet the spy’ video we learn that his mother and the spy are romantically involved or at least were at some point, leading many to speculate the spy is his dad! scout absolutely refuses to acknowledge this as a possibility and is in full denial, even claiming tom jones is his dad (despite only being like 5 years older than him) and getting very defensive when suggested otherwise. hell it seems like most of the team thinks/knows this, or at least heavy and sniper do.

i was about to summarize all of the comics here but i think i’ll let you read them yourself since they’re good and fun! in other random trivia he likes fried chicken, cannot read well beyond a basic elementary level, and when gibbed in game there’s a 1/100 chance of a dove flying out of the gore in reference to the final scene of the ‘meet the medic’ video! and this is more hc territory but adhd trans bi king!!!!! he’s probably my favorite merc but i could be biased bc hell yeah boston babey!!!!! also i love idiot bastards

anyways tysm for the ask i Love just saying lots of words and being annoying owo

#ask #tf2 #long post

[genderfluid-existence]

I'm almost constantly under my own scientific observation

I like being thorough. I like fully understanding the background of things. I like to know the why. But with gender you honestly can't always know the why. And it seems a lot of queer people have accepted that. But I seem unable to.

If I lable myself as something I can't just leave it. I have to investigate every corner. Answer every question. Peel away every edge. Explain each and every instance. It's come to my attention how unhealthy it has become. Maybe even obsessive. It has caused me significant upset. But ultimately, I can't let anything go. I don't want to not know.

This obsession culminates in a fundamental process:

Trigger stimulus (Looking at my body, or imagining if I had different body parts, or imagining if I were in various gendered social roles, etc.)

Observe reaction (How do I feel about this?)

Try to explain the motivation behind this reaction (Is it dysphoria or, for example, internalized misogyny?)

Fit into a larger picture (Finding evidence supporting or refuting the idea that I'm trans)

Did that strike you as unusually clinical and over-analytic? Well, it strikes me that way too, but I can't really help it. All day I'm doing this. Catch a glimpse in a store window: How do I feel about my body shape? What if it were different?; Someone calls me "she": Does it feel right? No? What if that's just intenralized misogyny though?; See someone masculine: Do I want to look like him? What if it's just attraction though?

I took notes like this all this morning. While my mom and sister were busy in conversation I was just occupied thinking about what vocal range would be most appropriate today.

This is my life. Everyday. There are periods of my life where I focus more heavily and less heavily on gender, but it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that during those intense periods, my gender is on my mind at least hourly. It isn't very healthy. Sometimes I honestly feel like I'm tearing myself apart. I always have to have some feeling towards anything gendered, and I always have to have an explanation for that feeling, and if there are multiple explanations and I can't accept any of them, then I end up feeling like I'm nothing and at that point I'm probabaly crying on the bathroom floor.

It makes me upset that I have to think this way. It simultaneously astounds me how many people take their gender at face value. They don't think about it much. They don't worry about its ramifications that much. They can just do what feels right.

Of course, here I go again trying to find the why. Why do I get this was about my gender, and not, for example, my sexuality? (Okay, my analysis has actually spread more into my sexuality lately, but I've known I'm bi since I first learned the label and that's all the thought I need to put into it right now.) I think its because sexuality is pretty inconsequential to me, while gender is possibly the most consequential. Gender is something you establish about a person the moment you meet them. Gender determines a lot about people's lives. And gender dysphoria is a serious condition that needs to be treated in some way. How could I be passé about something this serious?

So yeah, it feels very important, and will probabaly stay that way. I dont like it. I don't want it. I want to be done questioning, but I'm not even sure if I ever will be at this rate.

Since I always try and end posts on some potive note: I do forgive myself for being this way. And it isn't impossible for me to work on moving on. I just need to be proactive. I'll work on it.

#genderfluid #nonbinary #bigender #questioning #gender questioning #my thoughts #its hard not to hate myself for this but !!! no !!!bitch !!!i forgive myself #this is mostly out of fear which ill talk more about later #it also started well intentioned and then spiraled over time #and thats ok #it be like that #i am capable of growth

[allo-round-me-are-familiar-aces]

ive identified as ace for a long time but now that im identifying as bisexual i feel very conflicted because im starting to think that ace/aro are more quantifiers and that pansexuality is sus because bisexuality has always included trans/nb people like its in the damn flag but im too afraid to speak up because i have friends who identify as ace/pan and i dont want them to hate me

you're completely right about that. your orientation is who your attracted to. same gender, opposite gender, all genders, or no one. so while being acearo on its own would be its own sexuality (or lack thereof), let's say you're gay and ace, you're still attracted to your own gender, and ace just acts as a modifier of that. so you have the same term, but it's a modifier in some cases, and a full sexuality in others. (which is one of the many side effects of the split attraction model on how we have to refer to our own orientations)

as for pansexuality, it's only been around for what, around 20 years? and they constantly change the definition of it when it gets called out for being homophobic, biphobic, and transphobic. and every time how they define bi also changes to create that distinction. like think about it. if you ask ten gay people what the definition of gay is, you'll get one answer. it has a clear definition. same with straight and bi. but if you ask a group of pan people what the definition of pan is, you'll get multiple different answers, as well as multiple different definitions of bi that creates a differentiation between bi and pan in each scenario. so how can it be its own sexuality when it's very clear that it only exists as a way to distinguish yourself from being bi?

and i totally relate to you, i have some ace and pan friends as well, and i REALLY care about them, but i don't want to say anything because im afraid of them taking it as a personal attack. it's not like we're completely invalidating them and saying they don't exist (like the TERFS we're compared to), i just want pan people to acknowledge that the label they choose necessarily reinforces biphobic and transphobic ideas and separates them from the bi community to which they belong, and for cishet ace people to acknowledge that lgbt people shouldn't be forced to share the only safe spaces we have with people who are still capable of inflicting homophobia and transphobia onto us. like i WANT for ace people to be able to have their own community and spaces, instead of making us censor ourselves just like we do in public. but literally saying "there is no way to resolve ace people's possible discomfort with any amount of or talk of PDA with a safe space for lgbt people to be ourselves, so we should have separate communities for both of our comforts. lgbt aces are a part of both communities" gets you labeled an aphobe. and i think part of the problem is that people take labels WAY to personally (see: bi lesbians who can't part with the term lesbian and caused That Fuckshit of discourse recently) and any pointing out of the harm it's doing is immediately taken to heart as invalidation, and "they don't think I'm real" or "they think lesser of me", when that couldn't be further from the truth. it's a real shitty situation all around.

[deluminatorillustrator]

I saw the post you reblogged saying it's okay to ask dumb questions...how did you know you identified as they/them? Bc i am afab and am about a 2 or 3 on the futch scale, 1 being femme and 5 being butch in how i present. I wish i was more masculine though, bc despite how i present, I don't always feel like a woman. Ig id cinsider myself a demigirl? But idk for sure and idk how i feel about pronouns and idk im just a mess and dont get how or when I'll know any of this in terms of myself

  Okay firstly, I’m sorry this answer is so long.

  Honestly, figuring out what I identified as was a long, long process. I spent a lot of my youth just confused about why I had to present a certain way and feeling like I didn’t fit in as well as I should, gender-role wise. But then I was lucky enough to attend a college that was really lgbtqa+ positive! I even took a class called “lgbt history” which was amazing. That, combined with the information I learned through the internet, led me to feel a lot better about myself!

  For the first year/second year of my college experience I was exactly where you’re at. I thought maybe I was a demigirl, because sometimes I felt feminine, sometimes I felt masculine. People around me seemed so sure of their pronouns and I was just... confused. It was super easy for me to label my sexuality, (I’m bi) but difficult for me to label my gender, which only made it even more confusing. I was afraid to talk to people about it. I’m still the type of person where I just don’t care what pronouns people use for me, because I don’t want to have to correct them or make them feel bad.

  In (I think?) 2015, I was first introduced to the term genderfluid. It took a while for me to understand it, honestly, because I had never seen gender as a spectrum. As soon as I did though, it just clicked. I knew that was me. I think the day it really hit me was a day I was out with my partner, and someone mistook me for a cis boy. I realized I was totally happy with being seen as male. Finally my weird feelings about being a girl on some days while it felt right on other days made sense. I didn’t HAVE to be a girl every day if I didn’t want to. FINALLY, finally, I felt better about myself, more confident. I came out to my closest friends and my partner in 2016, once I felt like I had figured it out, and they were both super supportive about it. Both of them said something along the lines of seeing it coming, haha. I started going by “they/them” mostly because I didn’t want it to be difficult for others to have to switch pronouns back and forth for me. After a while, it became sort of my default. Gender is confusing and weird and mostly made up by society anyway, so why bother following rules?

  Fast forward to now- I’ve been identifying as genderfluid for 2 years! Crazy! I’m masculine much more often than I’m feminine, but I do still feel feminine some days. Most of the time, though, I’m just? Me. Which is why I still go by they/them. I know some people use pronouns like xe/xem or ze/zir for that, but for me I just like they/them better. I’m sure this is not how everyone feels about it, but for me, they/them lets me just kind of float free of gender norms and be whatever I want. They/them can be feminine, masculine, androgynous, or neither. Personally I think you should just find something that feels right for you. Don’t worry about how long it takes or what criteria fits best, just find something that feels nice. For me it took most of my life, I was a really late bloomer, I guess, and all of those years were filled with awkward questions and confusion.

  I guess basically my advice is not to put too much pressure on yourself to find the right label. It might take some time, but eventually the right identity will come to you. Just continue to be yourself, let yourself explore and you’ll figure it out. Some people figure it all out when they’re really young, and some don’t. It’s your life and your path, so don’t be so hard on yourself while you’re on the journey! One day when you have it all figured out, you’ll be able to look back and be glad you spent time letting yourself explore the possibilities.

  And if you’re worried about taking too long, idk if this helps, but I have a relative who didn’t figure out she was a trans lesbian until she was in her 50s, and she’s super happy with where she’s at! Sometimes you need a longer journey to figure out who you are. And that’s okay. Keep looking, keep exploring, keep loving yourself no matter what. You’ll figure it out

[awkwardlytimednosebleed]

Answer the questions!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe you are making me do all of them i had to get m laptop for this. but i love you still so here we go I dont know how to put things under a cus so sorry to anyone that must scroll past this.

1. How do you define your sexuality? bi

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? 9 ish

3. How out are you? out to everyone but family4. At what age did you first come out? 21ish?5. Who was the first person you came out to? 

How did they take it? hayley i think she was pissed i didnt tell her sooner but in a loving way love you girl sorry abt not being open haha6. Has coming out lost you any friends? nope i have good ass friends7. What is your current relationship status? single8. How many gay friends do you have? i have like 3 or 4 bi/pan friends 1 or two lesbian friends9. How many male friends do you have? like 210. Have you ever cut your hair super short? i just cut it super short!11. How often do you wear flannel? almost every day oops12. How much do you like cats? a lot13. Do you like skirts and dresses? i get moods where i do14. Do you like high heels? no15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? no but i want one16. How accurate is your gaydar? pretty darn shitty17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? no18. How do you feel when plutonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? im ok with it19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? HAHAHAHAHAHA yes20. Ellen or Portia? ellen21. Is your nose pierced? no22 Would you ever want to get married? yes23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? yes but also converse24. Would you ever want to give birth? does anyone actually want that? i wld want a child25. Have you ever watched The L Word? no26. Have you ever dated a guy? yes27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? annoyed28. How many rainbow items do you own? 2?29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? no30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? no31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? no32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? ya like a pantsuit33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? ya34. Do you eat meat? ya35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? ya36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Stephanie Beatriz37. Are you religious at all? ish38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? lol too often39. What is your ideal first date? bokstore date bookstore date bookstore date40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? no but because im not a lesbian so i dont feel like i have a right to those words41. How outdoorsy are you? i like to hike42. In general, has being out affected your relationships with other females?no43. How much makeup do you typically wear? none44. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? ya45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? feminine46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? 3.5 years? ad no47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? ive never had a girlfriend :(48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? Its possible. i think i dont have the right to define anyone elses sexuality49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? ya in the dark days50. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers? rose and rosie51. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins? converse52. Have you ever been hit on by another female? no? 53. How athletic are you? HA54. How many girlfriends have you had? 0 :((55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? no56. What does equality mean to you? treating everyone with respect 57. If you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? 100% have you seen girls58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? :((((59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? :((((60. How flirty are you? I get scared and I say fun facts about penguins instead.61. Are you a virgin? ya62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright? ya63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? no64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain. I mean my parents are biphobic so they dont know but no?65. Have you ever driven an SUV or a pickup truck? no66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? no67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? intelligence/kindness69. Boobs or butts? butts70. Beer or wine? beer71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? DEBS72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 1073. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? infinity74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos?975. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 1076. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 1077. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 1078. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? infinity79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? 1080. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? :(((81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? :( but also :) because that sounds shitty82. Do you carry a purse? occasionally83. Do you have any LGBT relatives? not thati know of but statistically i have to84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? ya85. Would you ever date a trans girl? ya86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed in television? meh87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? no88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? many89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? they should be allowed to do and participate in the same things as everyone else.90. Do you believe in love at first sight? no91. Would you ever have a threesome? If so, would a guy be included? in theory yes to both92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? at school93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i have no idea94. Have you ever had a one night stand? no95. How often do you wear a bra? always in public rarely at home96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? no97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? yes98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most?  that theyre confused or going through a phase99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? dont get hung up on labels just live your truth 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?  your safety is the most important thing please be safe

[transdanieljacobi]

Would you hate me if I asked you to answer all of the valentines asks?

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? yeah 

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? i don’t think deeply is the right word, but i have been in love

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? four and a half months

4: Have you ever changed for someone? never

5: How is your relationship with your ex? i’m friends with one of them and i avoid the other two like the plague

6: Have you ever been cheated on? not that i know of

7: Have you ever cheated? nope

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? it’d be an open or poly relationship so yeah that’d be fine

9: What's the most important part of a relationship? trust and communication

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? both are cool

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? if someone wants to go on a break they probably don’t want to date you anymore

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? two

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? trusting that he wasn’t lying to me to spare my feelings

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? 15 or 16 i guess

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? yeah, when the people are both consenting adults in at least their 20s, not between adults and kids or teens

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? i believe in thirst at first sight

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? sure

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? someone that’s rude to people in the service industry or says gross shit abt sex workers

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when it isn’t working anymore i guess. i’ve never had to end a relationship.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? kinda?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? maybe in some situations.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? if both people want to why not

23: How many relationships have you had? fourish

24: Do you think love can last forever? sometimes

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? not really

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? fuck no. my mom isn’t the one dating them

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? don’t date t*** it’ll just be awkward

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yeah

29: What do you notice first about another person? their hair or their humor

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? i’m queer

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? yeah that’d be p fuckin hypocritical of me if it did.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? not really. it was just toxic as hell

33: Do you want to get married one day? maybe

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? never ever ever. fuck no

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? i dont know. its never wirked before for me.

36: Are you still a virgin? fuck no

37: What's more important: Looks or personality? both are important

38: Do you enjoy love films? only when i’m feeling Extra Sapp

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? no

40: Have you ever had a valentine? kinda?

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? a long drive to a path in the woods for a short hike. then lunch in the woods, featuring flirty banter. wrap it up with a scifi action movie, featuring a lot of hand holding and theater cuddling.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? yeah its fucking stupid. by far Shakespeare's weakest tragedy

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? bros before hos man.

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? yeah...

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? i am dating a current friend

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? no bc that’s not real. 

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? nick offerman and megan mullaney

48: What's your favorite love song? answered this

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? i dont think so

50: If you're single, why do you think you are? im not

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? idc as long as they treat me right

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? only when it comes to trans people and cis girls. cis men still elude me.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? not at all

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? not very

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? not at all

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? not to my knowledge

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? i don’t think considering suicide is ever “silly”, suicidal people need help, whatever the reason.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? i’m a switch

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i write them down to avoid just that.

60: What's your opinion on open relationships? i’m in one rn

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? i’m not answering that

62: How do you define "cheating"? sex or a relationship with another person without the knowledge or consent of one’s partner

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? no

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? a little

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? always

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

This is a non-bi question .. I was shocked to see transmen terfs but they calls themselves merfs and I just don’t get it, when I asked them why do they support radical feminism they don’t answer or don’t give a clear answer and I’ve seen them against transwomen, do any of you know why they support radical feminisms and they are against transwomen?

ive never seen the term "merfs" before but that is sooooo funny omg what does that even MEAN omg. sorry ive been thinking abt that ever since i first read that ask and it just makes me think of smurfs lmfaooaooo

Okay jokes aside. There is a faction of trans men who are like.....conservative and transphobic against other trans people and stuff. Theyre typically referred to as "truscum" or "transmedicalists" because their whole shtick is like....."trans people are only valid if they have severe crippling dysphoria and medically transition in every way possible (hrt & surgeries) and if a mental health professional cant diagnose you as being "gender dysphoric" by their criteria then youre not really trans." there are some trans women who also espouse these views (ie youtuber blair white) but by and far they are generally white trans men who pass as cisgender very easily and are very traditionally masculine. knowing these people exist it doesnt surprise me that some would take it a step further and align themselves with terfs.

it is really sad to see but ultimately this has a lot to do with internalized transphobia and insecurity in ones own gender. they take up cisgender norms on gender because they want to be accepted by mainstream cisgender society and end up policing other trans people who dont pass or who dont care about passing because cis people ridicule & dislike us. i also see it as driven by fear of cis people ridiculing/express this disgust/hatred towards them due to being trans as well with their truscum/terf views essentially being like "hey look cis people, i am not like those Bad Trans ! i am a Good Trans who looks just like you so you wont ever be uncomfortable or have to be open minded please accept me as an Honorary Cisgender please please please". it makes me really sad to see but also frustrated that they would be such cowards to throw the rest of their community under the bus if it means that they at least are accepted by our oppressors.

the other aspect too that ive seen wrt trans men being transmisogynistic is the divide of: trans men are erased vs trans women are hypervisible. some trans men dont understand that hypervisibility is a huge issue that puts trans women, esp trans women of color, in a lot of danger from violent transphobes more so then trans men generally. this also extends to fetishization, the level of dating violence trans women experience due to this, & the violence they face in sex work, etc. but some trans men are just like "nobody ever talks abt trans men its always abt trans women how can you say theyre more oppressed if we're always talking about them and never talking about trans men huh?!?!?" like buddy c'mon now. Ugh

anyways thats what i generally see within the community as a trans man myself but i dont delve v deep into these realms even to call them out or anything.

Wes