Jaskier never imagined that there could be another Geralt out there, much less another universe with unique yet similar problems. Nor did he imagine that, inexplicably and suddenly, his heart would feel so hungry for someone he had barely met four weeks earlier. Sure, Jaskier tended to fall in love within hours with whoever caught his attention, be it man, elf, woman, dwarf.... Jaskier has always loved freely without worrying about the consequences. But this famine was different, one that wants to swallow everything in one gulp. One that yearns for BeardGeralt. For days he tried to convince himself that it was pure lust, then he tried to convince himself that it was some sort of defense mechanism. So many years in love with Geralt have weighed heavily on him, perhaps what he feels for BeardGeralt is a convenient way out for his treacherous heart. In reality he suspects that he is only trying to deceive himself, after all he is the one who knows his heart best and knows very well that what he feels is real. As real as falling in love with the alter ego of the one who is supposed to be half of your soul. Which makes you feel futilely guilty. And it's certainly not fair, having to deal with how good BeardGeralt is. He's certainly something out of this world, ha. Two witchers and a bard traveling are a very picturesque image. Having only one horse, they take turns riding but BeardGeralt always offers him his place by claiming to have a lot of energy. In the evenings BeardGeralt always makes sure to give Jaskier a larger portion of food. Every time Jaskier looks up, he finds him watching him with a certain satisfaction of one who enjoys caring. The problem is that Geralt notices these gestures and Jaskier feels like garbage when he notices that the witcher is not comfortable. The bard fears that Geralt thinks of himself as insufficient. But, on the other hand, it's nice to have someone looking out for him for a change, to have someone make him feel loved.
"Cold?" asks BeardGeralt one night of heavy rain when the three of them have taken shelter against the wall of some abandoned ruins.
"I've been worse" and then he feels a hand running across his lower back and resting on his hip. Her breath catches. With a swift movement BeardGeralt brings him against his shoulder. Jaskier smiles sincerely pleased and looks at BeardGeralt out of the corner of his eye. Geralt, his Geralt tenses at his side, clearly not knowing what to make of the situation. He’s confused, but he knows he has no right to question Jaskier's relationships. He never has, but somehow this time feels different. It’s strange, Jaskier can admit that. But it feels right, Jaskier thinks guiltily.
Jaskier has stolen a familiar-looking collection of poems from a rather rude merchant, to discover that it was an elvish collection of poems that her nanny used to read to him. He tells this story, as is his custom, in great detail. BeardGeralt listens intently and jokes playfully about his nostalgia. At some point in the conversation Geralt interferes to tell them that they should sleep.
One evening Jaskier is tending his lute while Geralt prepares the fire while BeardGeralt is out hunting for food.
"He will leave, Jask. You should be careful," Geralt advises him, almost whispering. At first Jaskier has a hard time understanding what they are talking about, but once he does a series of emotions run through the pit of his stomach. Sadness, anger, indignation, gratitude, sympathy and finally resignation. Jaskier is no friend of resignation.
"I know." answers Jaskier with the certainty of one who knows he will lose something he did not know he possessed.
So what if fate is right? So what if Geralt is his soulmate but they have met many years before? So what if his Geralt is not ready? So what if BeardGeralt is ready and more than willing to try something with him? So what if fate made a mistake? So what if BeardGeralt is here for a reason? So what if none of that matters because in the end, no matter what, Jaskier is going to get hurt?
Kaer Morhen is getting closer every day, there BeardGeralt's Ciri will be waiting for them.
One thing Jaskier knows with futile certainty is that no Geralt would choose him.
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Game Geralt x series Jaskier
Here's the first part
Thanks to fandom-trash-and-hyperfixations for their awesome ideas on this. love u.
What do you mean? of course there will be a culmination of this trashy angst/romance so stay tuned!
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