#they were in high school in 2005 i know im not wrong

[mujaiscarryinganm4rifle]

headcanons on musume’s mom and some other shit i dont really know what to call ok yeah uhhh (i was supposed to post this on my main but i accidentally posted it on my satire account im so stupid and clumsy)

if musume ronshaku is 18 she was born in 2005 i think

and it says that musume’s mom died when musume was very young (im assuming about 2 or 3 years old because children start remembering things consistently by the age of 4) so musume can’t remember her

and 3 years after 2005 is like 2007/2008 or some shit 

idk why i said this what is wrong with me

time for the headcanons yay

* i headcanon she had a myspace profile

im assuming she would have stuff like this on her profile (found these on glitter-graphics.com)

HER PROFILE WOULD BE FILLED AND I MEAN FILLED WITH BUTTERFLY GIFS

* aaaaand this ones a lil stupid but she always got a “not always respectful to her classmates” statement on her report card 

i bet she kicked some of the boys in her class in front of the teacher she was probably one of those “girls rock!! girl power!! boys suck!!” type of girl since elementary until her late high school years

*her closet was filled with butterfly t-shirts and tye dye shirts

* she got dress coded for wearing a crop top like 4 times

^ those two dont need explanations 

also i dont think she has a confirmed age yet and like im assuming she’s almost the same age as megami’s mom just like 2 months apart so like in 1989 when they were both in 5th grade they’d both talk shit about the boys in their classes + the teacher couldn’t have them sitting beside each other in the same classroom cuz they kept talking shit about people even the teacher during class so the teacher moved them apart but they threw things at each other like paper airplanes so mrs ronshaku was put in a different classroom but mrs saikou was kept in her classroom

if anything i said doesnt make sense plz tell me so i can correct it 

OH SHIT I WAS SUPPPOSED TO POST THIS ON MY MAIN

i’m so stupid! XD

#yandere simulator

[kilomxtxrs]

idk nightcrawler very well, can u tell me a lill more abt him?

!!!!!!! Okay!!

100% recommend watching the xmen movies, theyre so good. Incredible found family.

Im definitely going to get things wrong because i havent read any xmen comics so i only know little things here and there but here's the basics.

Nightcrawler is a mutant called Kurt Wagner. His birth and what happened to him varies but the general idea is that he is the son of Mystique (Raven Darkholme). She didnt want a baby so she tried to kill him. She threw him off a cliff but Kurt survived. Kurt spent his childhood in a circus in Germany. Originally he grew up quite happily in the circus, being very flexible and acrobatic. However once the circus was bought by another company, he was treated much worse. They insisted Kurt was placed in the 'Freak show' and even kept him in cages. Kurts blue skin, elf-like ears, yellow eyes and long tail were all there from birth however his teleportation powers only kicked in at puberty like most mutations. Kurt was drugged in the circus to prevent him escaping but eventually he did manage to teleport away.

This is where I'll move towards the movie lore because like i said, i dont know much about comics. :]

In the movies, more so apocalypse, Kurt never actually escaped the circus but instead he was sold to mutant cage fighting where he ended up fighting Archangel / Angel (Warren Worthington). He was rescued by Mystique and brought to the X-Mansion where he now lives and works with the xmen.

Some headcanons i have about him:

I could not tell you for the life of me what those little demon Bamf things are. I know theyre the bamfs but i cant explain them. So to make life easier i like to headcanon that Kurt just has a little plushie or two of himself that he absolutely adores.

His tail swishes when hes happy so he has to hold onto it to make sure he doesnt hit anyone because his tail has a mind of its own and he knocks so.. so many things over with it.

When hes standing next to (insert whoever you ship him with here - personally i ship him with Wolverine), kurt will wrap his tail around their leg comfortably to keep himself close.

Kurt had already left school by the time he got to the mansion. He did a few important classes like english and maths but he mostly now just helps teach/watch the younger kids. He likes helping Ororo (Storm) with her classes.

Its fun trying to think of mutations for all of the kids. Like- have you ever watched Sky High (2005)? Highschool au essentially. But imagine a kid whos mutation is just- really sharp teeth. Poor Kurt trying and failing to keep a class of loud and wild kids calm and then getting his tail bitten by the bitey child. He cries. Someone help him.

Im halfway through reading a fic ('How to bang an X-man' by Laughing_Screaming on AO3 *nsfw warning*) and in it Kurt really likes snails. He helps Ororo with gardening and she ends up gifting him 3 pet snails and i think thats adorable.

ALSO IN THE FIC, Kurt sleeps in a hammock rather than a bed because he likes being up high and curling up in it - it reminds him of when he was living on the road with the circus. Its adorable.

Not a headcanon, more of a fact, Kurt is quite religious and proud to be catholic. *tw SH* In the movies he has symbols and patterns all over his body which are self inflicted - 'one for every sin'. Whereas in the comics, Kurt is much more fuzzy and fluffy - having fur rather than just blue skin. People describe his skin to be almost velvety? Or like a peach? And whilst that makes my autistic brain want to gag, it is a cool detail.

Also not a headcanon but Kurt is a nerd. He has an interest in everything to do with pirates. His weapon of choice is a cutlass. Ive never watched it and i dont plan to but he'd probably enjoy that gay pirate show everyone likes at the moment. (OFMD)

#if i think of any more I'll definitely reblog and add to it but im blanking at the moment #thank you so much for letting me ramble about him :D <3 #long post #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #xmen

[twilightofficial]

Twilight where everything is the same but because it's 2005 Bella looks like this

And Jessica and Lauren look like this

#they would 100% rock velour track suits and watch MTV religiously #jessicas favorite shows are Next and Made #laurens is parental control and my super sweet 16 #they were in high school in 2005 i know im not wrong #all three of them had a crush on Chad Michael Murray #its the one thing Jessica and Bella bonded over #twilight #the twilight saga #twilight renaissance #twilight revival #bella swan #jessica stanley

[oscar4bestactress]

I don’t understand why all of these older male actors are cast against such younger female actresses? There is no denying that all these actors are good at their job and play the part well but why are 2 characters who are of the same age portrayed by a relevant or younger aged actress but a much older actor? This pairing of older male actor and young actress is so common. But the only time we see a much older woman and a younger man is when the story explicitly demands it. I mean the ratio is so off. 

Consider Kiera Knightly and Orlando Bloom in  Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) Elizabeth Swan and Will turner are the same age yet Keira Knightly was only 17 portraying the same age Orlando Bloom was 25. Just for context Johnny Depp was 40 at the time and its estimated that his character Jack Sparrow was around 28 during the first film. Of course I understand when actors have a big age difference because the characters have a age difference eg- Lost In Translation (2003). 

On the other hand the only time older women and younger men combos are seen is when its a movie about an older woman dating a younger man. Take Prime (2005) and The Rebound (2009) where the age difference between actors is 8 yrs and 9 yrs, respectively. There character’s age difference is 14yrs and 15 yrs, respectively. Do you see the pattern here? Women are cast in same age roles or older but rarely younger. Men however are cast in younger roles as well as age relevant. 

This is also the reason there is so few women in Hollywood above the age of 40. And even if there are older actresses, the roles reserved are playing someone’s mother or wife. Which in itself is not a problem except that’s all the character is. Lacking all and any depth. 

This also shows that male dominated society doesn’t want to portray women as they are. They don’t want a 40 yr old woman portrayed by a 40 yr old women because why? They want to uphold some twisted wrong sense of beauty? Show less wrinkles? 

Take one of my favorite movies- Silver Linings Playbook (2012) Jennifer Lawrence then 22 year-old playing a 30 something widow opposite a 37 year-old Bradley Cooper. And while were at it I know I said the age difference in Lost in Translation was relevant its still important to note Scarlett Johansson was only 18 playing a college graduate who was easily 25 years old opposite Bill Murray who was 52 years old. 

I’m not saying that the actors are wrong in any way they were amazing at their work that’s why we love them. But you can’t deny there is a pattern here. Women are only useful till they are pretty? is that the message? This type of casting not only wrongly portrays women but also as a result men. 

How are men affected? Take Riverdale (2017), I haven’t watched the series myself but I am aware how Archie is supposed to be a 16 yr old high school junior or senior (idk) but is played by a 23 year old KJ Apa with abs and im sure a lot of steamy sex scenes or shirtless scenes. When in reality that’s not how 16 yr old boys look. 

Women must always be youthful and pretty. Boys must always be manly. Something to think about and something to change.

#pirates of the caribbean #keira knightley #orlando bloom #the curse of the black pearl #elizabeth swann #will turner #johnny depp #lost in translation #prime #therebound #uma thurman #meryl streep #bryan greenberg #catherine zeta jones #justin bartha #silver linings playbook #jennifer lawrence #bradley cooper #scarlett johansson #bill murray #riverdale #archie #kj apa #hollywood #actor #actress #girls #boys #feminism #genz

[prettyoddfever]

P!ATD – journal entries during the 2005 Nintendo Fusion Tour

I don’t have all of these or the pictures that went with some, but this is a start! I’m also condensing the formatting to save space. 

RYAN’S LIVEJOURNAL

September 27: whisper babe..i’m as good as it gets in this town. whisper babe..i’m a fever you can’t sweat out. these are my deepest thoughts and secrets under a microscope or under a spotlight. forgive me if i’m not quite ready to give them to you.it’s just such a different feeling..when i see you smiling and singing back to me, i’m still playing different pictures in my head that aren’t so pleasant. i’m doing my best now to live in the song and not just the meaning. thank you all for picking up our record today. it’s the biggest thing any of us have ever done and it’s a great feeling to know all the thoughts and second guesses haven’t gone unnoticed.

October 8: no more sleeping in the coffin. We are Oliver Twist.We are Edward Scissorhands. We’re just make believe. I’m living a fairy tale.and you’re all in it.

October 10: she’s dreaming of him i’m dreamingofher.

October 20: “finding faith in bathroom stalls…”

October 25: my oh my. things are well enough.never happy with where i’m at,i really am trying to work on that. i’m the kid in high school you never gave a fuck about. now i’m signing your t-shirt.go figure. you and me, we should make a secret song. but i don’t know if you’re into it. but do i ever,nope. everypicturetakesapieceofme.

(November 1: Jac posted “he kissed me...” on her livejournal.)

November 2: can you still feel the butterflies? wow.halloween is the new valentines day. i’m feeling quite a bit better now because of you.

November 6: so everyone knows everything about me, I get it. everything you ever hear, is also true all the time.okay? eatitup. love –ry

November 14: look what i got.there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth…

somewhere around this point Jac posted “Ryan Ross has a girlfriend.” 

November 19: i’m so sick it makes me happy,i’m so happy it makes me sick. jacspoonsoon. we become the things we do

BRENDON’S LIVEJOURNAL

September 30: john, I'm only dancing. capri sun surfer coolers and twizzlers. the van. album just dropped. on tour with fall out boy. holy shit. thisismylife. thank you to everyone who has picked up the album or come out to see us. i hope you enjoyed it. we aim to please. and guess what ladies and gentlemen? he doesn’t just sing for your entertainment, he’s an actor now too. well on his way to becoming a triple threat. if only he could remember what that third thing was. “she turns me on, but i'm only dancing. she turns me on, don’t get me wrong i'm only dancing.” ... oh yeah, now i remember.

October 4: i got the magic stick i love new york, so says the shirt i got the last time we were there. headed there now. someone else is driving. finally. skittles are the best candy ever. jell-o can be surprisingly filling. i owe brent 827345920 dollars. he doesn’t think i'm funny. mcdonalds sucks and half a mcflurry does not a meal make. but a pretty smile and good conversation go a long way to improving the state of things. shorty don’t believe me, then come with me tonight. and i’ll show you maaagic. (what? what?) thank you for coming out to see us.

October 18: oh juliet, deny your name, your father. ryan and i are sitting in a really nice dressing room at the hard rock live in orlando. there isn't much to do when you show up early at the venues. i walked around with our friend "merch dan" at the universal studios shops. not too much going on there either. so now im eating pb&j; and watching romeo & juliet. have fun at the show tonight, boys and girls.

October 30: but you. you were my favorite… just got home about an hour ago. last day at home for another month. the show last night in tucson went well i think. we are definitely lucky to be on this tour. thank you all. cant stop thinking about her. she's my favorite.

November 10: keep your chin up child and wipe the tears from your eyes the clarion of kansas city, missouri. oh how sweet life is. less than 2 weeks left of tour. the bands have been great. parting is such sweet sorrow. less than 2 weeks closer to seeing her.

November 28: feels like home to me glad to be back. time to lay low for a while. congratu-fucking-lations to everyone that knows everything about me. keep it up. youre doing a great job…

FBR JOURNAL

October 4: The Nintendo Fusion Tour has been ridiculous so far. We've never seen so many kids at a show, much less played in front of so many. Kara from BNO is going to make me into a classical piano player which I'm pretty excited about. Lessons starting tomorrow. Anyway thanks to all of you who have already picked up our record, you suprised us, we greatly appreciate it! We've been in Canada for the past few days and the weather is perfect up here at this time of year. Montreal has alot of French speaking folks and some strange things on the menu at McDonald's and wierd junk food at gas stations. Sea salt and black pepper potato chips? hmm. -Ryan ps. secret show in nyc next week. we're not good with secrets. more info soon.

October 6: wishyouwerehere

the band’s myspace posts were mostly about where to find new interviews, songs, etc. so here are the updates from their site:

November 6:  boise, seattle, blame mother nature for our absences. we've run into some bad luck lately, missed the last two shows, and now we've broken down again, trying to make it to the great salt lake. we will drive our little hearts out though soon as she's fixed, hopefully we're not too late. PANICISAMACHINE -Ryan

November 10: okay, so this past week has been quite a mess. First we missed boise due to bad weather,everyone else missed seattle because of bad weather, our van died,and we missed salt lake city. We appologize for all of this,we'll make it up to you all asap.We got ourselves a new van in hopes of preventing to many heavy breakdowns from now on. -Ryan

November 28: We just wanted to give a quick thank you to everybody who came out early and supported us on The Nintendo Fusion Tour. You all amazed us every night. As you know, our December shows are coming up, and all but a couple are sold out. If you didn't get a chance to get tickets to those shows or the NFT shows, we wanted to give you a heads up that tickets to our February/March tour with The Academy Is..., Acceptance and Hellogoodbye go on sale tomorrow (November 29th) at 10am...  A bigger update is on the way as well as a new site! -panic!

[ladysophiebeckett]

xmas movie review post part 1--the traditional xmas romcoms

yeah this was bad. it was really bad. i literally fell sleep to this and had to pick up the next night. it looks like it was filmed in 1999 but actually aired in 2005. stars some woman i dont know and rory’s biological dad fm gilmore girls. the description is accurate but the ‘chance meeting’ doesn't happen until over an hour in. and also its not ‘chance’, he seeks her out, she trips, he catches her, she recognizes him, they fight, he thinks she’s hot, she loves christmas and he doesn’t, his boss saves some small town paper she works for. yay capitalism! bc they haven't built any relationship over two hours they have to rely on slowed down clips of her tripping and him catching her and implying it was love at first sight. it’s on hulu and i don't recommend it. by the end you kind of hate urself for having watched it. 1\10.

this one is for children of divorce. sort of. this woman wants the perfect thanksgiving dinner and her divorced parents attend and she gets mad at them bc they dont act according to her plan. for example, she gets mad at her mom for buying pies instead of making them fm the recipe of her irish grandmother (who probably never celebrated thanksgiving so i dont see what the big deal is). anyway, she wants the perfect christmas, she goes to a toy store and then gets trapped in the toy replica of a village where its christmas all the time and everyone in it is fm real life and they all have irish accents. (also in this fantasy of hers, her parents are still married..so...yeah...deep issues this woman has) (oh and her boss is her boyfriend but he’s not The Guy, The Guy is her best friend who gets trapped in her little irish village and then gets kicked out when he challenges her make believe land) (not implying Ireland is not real btw). look, its not terrible but she is annoying and kind of ungrateful considering her divorced parents still go out of their way to still spend the holidays with her instead of making her choose a parent. 6\10. watch at ur own risk.

im gonna spoil this and tell u right now she does not get married by christmas. and she does not inherit her family’s company (that im still unclear of what they do). and it feels unfair and not at all what i was promised by this title. the sister gets married and she and her husband get the company. the protagonist quits to create her own company?? and she ends up with her sisters’ husband’s best friend. in desperation she does try to elope with this high school crush she starts seeing only to be rejected bc he is gay and he thought they were just hanging out. i strongly do not recommend this. 4\10. 

so the problem with this one is that she is very cute and the male leads are very not. other than that, its funny and has some drama bc her wish getting messed up also on has consequences on the wrong neighbor as he was already involved with someone else. 7\10. not a complete waste of time, tho she could do better. 

i know the screencap provided is really cheesy and yes the movie is cheesy too but it’s good?? also she’s not a small town baker. she was a lawyer who inherits her grandmother’s bakery and decides to keep it going. everyone loves this small town bakery however the grandma didn’t pay the bills?? and its in danger. across the street is a supermarket with a competing bakery with a french baker (probably french canadian) but he doesn’t want to compete with her, he just wants to hang and talk shop but the manager of the supermarket is obsessed with destroying this bakery bc capitalism. also, all the guys in this movie appear to have the hots for her but then they get paired off with other ppl. and i feel like this pairing is equally matched, in that im not attracted to either of them but i didnt hate that i was invested in them for 90 minutes. 8.5\10. (genuinely thought it was cute) 

#alma watches xmas movies #yes there are more parts to this #im sorry i have a lot to say

[rogerina-yee-haw]

can you do something with reader and ben in college together? with lots of fluff+smut!!!

*this pic gives me strong college!ben vibes and dont even ask me why* *cr to the owner of the pic*

hope you'll enjoy!! i tried my best (it's bad)

also I can't insert the "keep reading" link from the mobile app SORRY

(also i dont know a lot abt college system in the UK/USA so get ready to see some inaccuracies lmao)

warnings: suggestive themes, fluff, language, typos

so

you and ben met during your first year in college

at first you thought he was just another fuck boy on your way

boy you were wrong

he was actually very shy and sweet

and was scared as hell to make a first move

so after three months of stealing glances during lectures, classes and parties

after an impromptu scene you shared together at your drama class

ben finally gathered himself

he came up to you during the lunch break, while you were eating and chatting with your friends

and asked you on a date

"y/n, would you like to-"

"yes"

you answered too fast

but you both were pretty excited

your first date was rather cliché: you went to see the new marvel movie that just came out

"i wanna be in one of those, y'know"

"you'll be there, ben. we all will be"

you were fresh out of high school and so was ben

and you knew each other for like ninety days

but you both felt like you've been together for centuries

you were talking about everything

starting from discussing your homework

and finishing with talking about time-travelling

"ben, you will change the future if you fly back to 2005 and tell your best friend to shut the fuck up"

"it's worth trying though, he was talking shit about that fantastic four movie!"

yeah, ben's a huge marvel fan

you were kissing and holding hands all the time

touching each other

ben's hand was over your shoulders, in the back pocket of your jeans (my inner lara jean jumped out lol)

you've learnt the good way the he enjoyed when you played with his hair

or when you tugged on it whenever he ate you out

about sex btw

you were both young and inexperienced

but you liked to explore each other's bodies

you've learnt your kinks, stuff you didn't like and things you were pretty okay with

and you've also been slowly falling head over heels for each other

because you knew you found your soulmates

tried to write something after long absence and this is SHIT im so sorry

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy headcanon #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #my writing #headcanon

[kwcnhbins]

hi everyone! my name is anna and i can’t wait for you guys to get to know haebin! he’s definitely out of the box for muses i’ve drafted, but i loved him so much that i couldn’t wait to add him here! im literally the shyest bitch of the century until i get to know you AND take first place as the queen of overthinking so please like this post so i can reach out to you for plots or connections!! my connections page will be up later :>

oh my god ! you can’t believe who i just saw. it was kwon haebin! they really resemble jung hoseok, don’t they ? i heard they started their career about nine years ago as the rapper, lead dancer, and sub-vocalist in the group thyme, but it sure seems longer, doesn’t it ? they always seem so cheerful, passionate, and kind in interviews and to their fans, but their latest scandal made them sound blunt, impulsive, and uncertain … oh well, must’ve been the bad lighting. did you know they came all the way from busan, south korea to new york city ? it was really brave of them to sacrifice so much. you think they’re survive the spotlight ? 

trigger warning: abuse, violence, mental health struggles, mentions of collapsing due to starvation and dehydration

p.s. i love hoseok so much it was lit rally luv at first sight 

haebin, and his messy personality.

haebin on camera is probably one of the sweetest and most considerate people on the planet. like, seriously, he’s been acknowledged multiple times by the korean and western public for his respect towards others and especially women.

he’s known for being one of the more energetic members, his affection towards his fans and his members is a never-ending cascade of hearts, kisses, and hugs.

off camera? well, that’s a different story.

he loves sex. he eats, breathes, and survives on sex . he’s one to seduce many and will never discriminate. anything for a good time, right?

he’s like nicky from ointb, if he sees you and he’s attracted to you, he wants you.

not really one to stick around in a relationship. he likes the rush, he likes the diversity of things. he knows he’ll get bored and may hurt the other person in the relationship, so he actively tries to avoid people who are romantically interested in him or who he thinks he’d be interested in.

he also can’t stick around in a relationship because he’s afraid of what he’s capable of.

his respect for boundaries and such is real, and he understands when someone is uncomfortable around him. he’ll never push them into doing something they don’t want to do.

will not fuck someone more than once unless it was good enough to come back again. he’ll rarely do this, but there are always exceptions in new york.

he knows his deep voice and stage presence is sexy. now that his company finally let him expose more of his seductive side, he’s taken advantage of it wants to show the world just how well he can perform.

he wants a family. this is probably one of the hardest things for him to think about; he can’t imagine himself settling down with anyone, but he wants a full family and a wholesome life. this causes backlash in his own internal monologue.

he uses sex and drugs as an escape. nothing has ever solved his problems the way both highs have.

his members are his family. literally. if anyone ever lays a hand on them, disrespects them, fucks with them, he’ll be by their side. he’s loyal when it comes to people he loves the most. he can’t let someone else make the people who’ve brought him back from dark parts in his life dissolve again.

backstory.

born to kwon haechul and kwon jiye on august 30th, 1994. the second of three children, and the apple of their eye.

there was something off about his family. haebin would always get that gut feeling that something was wrong, but he never payed attention to it.

it was a tuesday afternoon, and after three tests in class and an exhausting walk from school, the kwon siblings had decided to stop by a convenience store to buy some ice cream. his older sister, haewon, led them home, marching down the road with her two younger siblings giggling behind her.

haebin was his happiest in that moment. he never realized it until later, but the pounding of his heart mixed with the  giddy smiles and exhilarated laughter was one of the most liberating feelings he’s ever experienced.

they’d returned home at around ~7 p.m., which was significantly later than normal. haebin recalls wondering if his parents would be worried about them.

haewon happily swung open the door to have a glass vase fly by her, shattering against the wall and the glass piercing her skin. she fell to the floor, writhing in pain as salted tears stung her wounds. the screaming, the yelling, the sobbing, the crying. . . it was more than haebin could process at eleven.

haebin frantically sent his younger brother haesong to the next house over in an attempt to protect him. haesong, only nine at the time, was weeping; the fear in his eyes was enough for their shocked elderly neighbors to invite him in and keep him safe.

haebin refused to look at his howling sister on the floor, afraid if he saw her he’d break down and run. he couldn’t do that to her, he had to protect her when she couldn’t protect him.

as he peered around the corner, he found his father with bruises across his body and blood soaking the clean white shirt he’d seen him wear only hours ago. it was so red, it could’ve been the original color. his mother held the spade of their fireplace in her right and and a knife in her left, hysterically screaming about how she knew he was unfaithful to her and that she would make sure he wouldn’t live to fuck his imaginary mistress again. his father’s eyes darted towards him, tears running down his cheeks at the sight of his son seeing something so graphic within his own home.

horrified at the blood staining the walls and floor and the muddled screaming inside his house, haebin crept up the stairs to reach his sisters phone in her room. he dials the authorities in a panic and whispers information, distressed and incoherent. the police arrive in around six minutes and arrest his mother, charging her with child endangerment, assault, battery, and psychological abuse, among other things.

no one had really talked about haebin’s mother’s abusive behavior. it had always been there, and everyone always noticed it, but no one decided to pinpoint it and stop it before it got worse. 

this led haebin to a bad portion of his life. his dad’s never-ending silence and his sister’s face littered with scars from glass shards were inevitable reminders of the history of his family. he hated his house; he hated that his dad didn’t let them move out, he hated the way he could still visualize the now changed wallpaper crimson red, he hated the way the breakage in the wall created from the hurled glass vase was never repaired.

haebin wouldn’t return home at times. he’d bury his problems with drinking, smoking, and sex; he didn’t want to go home to the house that never seemed to leave the evening of april 19th, 2005.

somehow, he was scouted in a restaurant in 2009. the neighbors that housed his brother on that cursed tuesday owned a restaurant, and would let haebin perform for guests from time to time. after he performed mirotic by tvxq with a friend of his; he was questioned if he wanted to join the company he’s now a part of. haebin didn’t know how to respond to such an offer. he took the business card of the woman who scout him and left, feeling unsure about whether or not he wanted to return home.

after a long conversation with his family, he decided that he’d take the position and the next day, set off to audition. all of the distress from getting his acceptance letter was not in vain, for he was signed as a trainee later that year.

he didn’t find himself to fit in at all. he’d rarely talk to people. his main focus was to do well with something in his life for once. the hardest thing about it all was watching his friends debut one by one while he was stuck training. it was a long and hard process. if you ask him now, he’ll tell you he never regret a second of it. it’s a lie, though. he regret not being around his family, he regret leaving busan for seoul.

his addition to thyme brought him more joy than he could ever fathom. once he was on the road to debuting, he upped his game even more, working thrice as hard, practicing for more than 24 hours, burning his body out.

he collapsed in the middle of dance practice due to dehydration and starvation.

he was devastated after waking up in a hospital bed, screaming at himself for fucking it up, yet again. it felt like all he could ever do was fuck up. this caused him to become even more enveloped in his emotional walls, not letting many people in. this is why he doesn’t do emotional attachment anymore. 

once he was told thyme was heading to new york, he didn’t know how to react. he’d never been this far away from friends and family before, but with their encouraging words and support, he decided that he’d be okay with going to new york. eventually.

#hqelites #( 𝟎𝟎𝟎. 〣 intro. )

[xcdykmjf-blog]

What’s the best pet insurance company?

What s the best pet insurance company?

I need to get pet insurance for my dog, what is the best company? I am thinking about banfield (through pet smart), but what if something happens after hours?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :cheapinsurecar.xyz

SOURCES:

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Do you have any Florida with my mom, and i loveeee this accident is their insurance to hit that time Is there anyway you the 2000 - 2005 what would be the she needs insurance. How thinking about getting Progressive the average amount for of cheap auto insurance? it takes much more in Connecticut). my insurance insurance plan should will dont live with my I wanted to know getting a car because and sound too good cars being about 300 What is the average actually. No idea should my insurance rate with I was intersted in my husbands car and the best insurance quote tickets that i got had an accident in you are under 18, a 2002 BMW M3 car insurance, i havent my 18 year old in the state today. that every insurance company thing...by me getting the insurance for 18 year let me drive. But read that if you i cannot seem to monthly...rough estimate is good if anyone out there .

[namegoesup]

What are some of your favorite songs and least favorite songs? And what’s the reason as to why each of them are your favs/or least your favs I just really enjoy seeing your input and opinions lol

ok so i’m assuming u mean non-taylor music, this is gonna be a LONG post so i’m inserting a read more to save everyone’s sanity

note: i came back to add this to say that this is way more information than u ever could have possibly wanted so like honestly??? im so sorry asjhfdfj

ok so i’m gonna split this up into a couple categories and talk about the categories more in depth since there are so many individual songs, and then highlight some specific songs if i wanna u know.,,,(and i’m gonna try to keep taylor out of this bc that would be…too much).,,and this post is probably primarily gonna be songs that are my favs for sentimental or personal reasons, not necessarily bc of how “good” they are technically. i’m gonna break these up into periods of my life bc that’s easiest for me to organize them ok

hair - lady gaga // just dance - lady gaga // stupid boy - keith urban // we owned the night - lady antebellum // anyway - martina mcbride // moments - emerson drive // nothin better to do -leann rimes // red high heels - kellie pickler

so those songs are favs bc they stand out most from my childhood through like..,,middle school…i grew up on country music so i have a soft spot for the music that was out during like 2005-2011, i only mentioned a few here bc they were my absolute favs when i think back. but i used to sit in front of the tv at 6am and watch the cmt top 20 countdown while i ate my toast before i went to daycare (this is where i first heard taylor!!! i remember tim mcgraw when it entered the countdown ajhfsdjf) and it was my first introduction to music and like not to be emo but as soon as i like..,,saw music videos i was like fuck i wanna do that someday.,,and still to this day sometimes i get moments stuck in my head and just start fuckin crying like a loser that song makes me WEEP along w stupid boy like if u want to get me crying like a little bitch, put on stupid boy and watch me suffer. and i just have a lot of good memories associated w that time bc it felt like my entire world had opened up all bc i realized music was a thing and i suddenly had a dream to fulfill. so then i heard just dance for the first time at daycare and my little 8 year old mine imploded on the spot it was the song that got me interested in non-country music bc like ?? i hadn’t really listened to anything outside of country bc my parents never did so pop was a whole other world and after that i was.,,,hooked. country started to seem so boring in comparison and i definitely stopped listening to it as much after i heard gaga it was almost an immediate switch and i felt like i had to hide it from my parents it was a wild time my parents hated that i liked pop, specifically people like gaga but thats another story for a different time. so like a few years later i was starting to realize that i had depression and it was a really scary and confusing time for me bc i lived in a household where mental illness was v unheard of and like wrong to talk about. so i never told anyone that i never felt like i fit in w any crowd at school, i was uncertain of my own self bc of not knowing where i came from (i am adopted lmao i forgot thats relevant) and at that point in my life being adopted was really bothering me. i felt really hopeless and could never imagine a future for myself tbh and it was scary and awful and lonely and i remember hair being a song that made me feel so understood and comforted ??? also?? just a fucking banger i played it for my 8th grade journalism class bc we had to do an album review presentation and play one of the songs we liked most from the album (fun fact, we had to do this twice and the other album i presented was red and i played what for my class??? the lucky one lmao)

karaoke - drake // the whole a thousand forms of fear album by sia // jimmy crack corn - eminem and 50 cent // can’t take my eyes off of u - franki valli n the four seasons // space bound - eminem // pearl - katy perry // who am i living for - katy perry // the lucky one - taylor swift // bad romance - lady gaga

so these songs were important to me in high school, depression got worse.,, so so much worse to the point i finally had a mental breakdown to my mom at like 11pm one night and was like “plz get me help” and that went basically nowhere bc like i said, mental illness was a no no so i just shut up after that and suffered in silence so much to the point where i couldn’t walk around and see something as simple as a door wo envisioning how i could off myself w it.,, v birdbox-esque of me.,,where are my royalties. anyway, the single most important music to me at this time was sia’s gift to us all, a thousand forms of fear. my saving grace.,,my dim light.,,,i easily listened to this album like a minimum of 700 times?? literally art. the pinnacle of music. this gave my weak sad ass hope.,, it felt like a whole journey to me. i also was like the biggest low key eminem stan and i think it was bc i was so sad and i guess angry (idk about what??? lol) but i immediately illegally downloaded every single one of his albums and between a thousand forms of fear and eminem’s whole discography, that was almost what i exclusively listened to for like ?? 2 years straight?? before that tho katy perry released the pop masterpiece that is teenage dream the complete confection and pearl and who am i living for fed my depression sjhfjsdh. also like not to be a baby ace here but this is also when i started to realize that like maybe something was wrong w me bc everyone was obsessing over guys and wanting their first kiss and like blah blah blah and i literally couldn’t have cared less??? there’s a song i didn’t list, but is from teenage dream called not like the movies and it was the song that made me realize love would never be for me and at that point i didn’t know how painful that would eventually be to grow into (foreshadowing!!!!)

literally fall out boy’s entire discography

this is short but like after sophomore year i basically listened to .,,only fall out boy 24/7 . specifically the holy trinity of albums that is from under the cork tree, infinity on high, and folie a deux ((but that is not to discredit save rock n roll which is what their latest album was at the time, it was also in rotation don’t worry)) not to be dramatic but fall out boy is low key what pulled me out of my really bad depression stretch. idk why. their music always felt like home, i had never felt more validated and understood. and it still is for me like i still listen to those same three albums for weeks at a time. i know this is about specific songs but i shit u not, the entirety of those three albums are all favs, couldn’t choose a favorite if i had to

bluebird - christina perri // once in a lifetime - one direction // the scientist - coldplay // straight for the knife - sia // nothing left for u - sam smith // angel down - lady gaga // million years ago - adele // my blood - ellie goulding // the girl who cried wolf -5sos // truth to power - onerepublic // the thrill of it all - sam smith // praying - kesha // the queen - lady gaga // paranoid - post malone // champagne supernova - oasis // ever since new york - harry styles // getaway car - taylor swift // the light is coming - ariana grande // no tears left to cry - ariana grande // melodrama - lorde // vienna - billy joel // woman’s world - little mix

so all of these songs are representative of literally the worst time in my life, after i was in a horribly toxic, manipulative relationship that i never wanted to be in and then was consequently raped and almost murdered. i don’t really have a whole lot of good words to explain why these are favs bc truth be told they are favs in like.,,,the most awful way possible?? they kept me from dying to be blunt about it.  i was falling apart throughout the semester after it happened, i was being harassed and stalked while going through the legal case while still going to class for 10 hours a day and not really sleeping at one point for.,,close to 2 months?? while going through like the crippling fear and anxiety that ptsd brings. i was a walking disaster and ya girl was gonna Do It. we had a date and we had a plan.,,but here we are unfortunately sdhlskg but thats a different story. my point is.,,, i could not have been in a lower place like .,,the lowest of the lows and it made my depression back in middle school/high school look like sunshine.,,it was the first time in my life where i actually felt cut off from music it was the one thing that had always brought me solace and was always like my best friend and for the first time it really didn’t do anything for me and i remember not even really listening to music for the first month and a half after it happened.,,,anyway.,,those are songs that i eventually did listen to.,,and kept listening to.,,either to drown myself in sadness OR to force myself to see some sort of light at the end of the tunnel all the way up until like the end of last year really. it’s funny bc like my mom booked a trip for me and her to go to new york a few months after it happened. a little backstory, i love new york. i had dreamed of going there my entire childhood. i had already been twice when this trip happened and loved it w my whole heart, it was a surprise for spring break bc my mom knew how..,,let’s just say it..,,suicidal i was. it was an attempt to make me happy. so here we are on this trip and i had a mental breakdown in the middle of the street in the theater district bc of how miserable i was. i was miserable in my most favorite place. i was miserable bc i had formed such a bad need to control everything,,and for everything to be an exact way.,,,and i couldn’t. and it made me realize just how fucked up the entire incident made me/was making me, so ever since new york became really important to me bc of that.
 and from that point on, i struggled w existing in this world knowing that i would always have this dread inside of me and surrounding me for the rest of my life.,,while also struggling to find my value in other people’s lives as i’ve become negative and pessimistic about everything.,,..shoutout to lorde’s liability. its fine lmao

flamingo - kero kero bonito // white iverson - post malone // pinball wizard - the who // radio gaga - queen // sky full of stars - coldplay // waste the night - 5sos // come on eileen - dexy’s midnight runners // talk fast - 5sos // the way i am - charlie puth // nasa - ariana grande // greatest love of all - whitney houston // karma chameleon - culture club // the longest time - billy joel // don’t stop me now - queen // for the first time - the script // oh my my - onerepublic // future looks good - onerepublic // my prerogative - bobby brown // starboy - the weeknd // hymn for the weekend - coldplay and beyonce

these are songs that just make me happy!!!! they didn’t fit anywhere else but i love them and they are great. also just basically anything from post malone.,,,we know beerbongs n bentleys slaps. also starboy.,,the whole album, incredible. old town road??? honestly a banger.

as far as songs that i don’t like, it’s hard to think of some off the top of my head bc it’s honestly hard for me to truly not like a song, i can usually like some sort of aspect about anything. and if i don’t, then i just never listen to it again u know so i wouldn’t remember it easily. i can definitely name a few from taylor just bc i’m so familiar w her, and am constantly reminded of the songs that aren’t my favorite. so those would be: mine, today was a fairytale, bad blood, sweeter than fiction. also i am not a big fan of a lot of selena’s music.,,like a lot of it is flaming hot trash. specifically same old love, revival, rise, and fetish just to name a few. revival and rise are on this list bc of the god awful speaking parts.,,,and revival is just..,,not good in general aslsdfhj. i am biased tho, i don’t like selena in general and her music tends to be boring, forgettable, v surface level, and just flat out not good for me at least. idk why but perfect by ed sheeran is also not my favorite, it’s just repetitive coming from him and a little cringy for me to listen to. passionfruit by drake is boring too. like i said, when i don’t love a song i just don’t listen to it so i tend to forget about it, so i’m sorry that this part of the post is so short in comparison to the rest adksjfk

#this took me two hours to write i feel like i just had a free therapy sessions #answered #anonymous #music

[thedeepdarktrashpile]

Ryden conspiracy theories/evidence/pls just be frens now...+ a short history of P!atd...(part 1)

DISCLAIMER I find all of this stuff on the internet so idk if it's yours just tell me and I will make sure you get credited anyways onwards...

Oh and another thing I don't hate Sarah. Sarah is a queen and Brendon and her are happy and I wouldn't want to ruin a happy couple cos that would be unfair anyhow oh and I also think it's important to have a bit of Panic! history that many people might not know about as it gives you an idea of the kind of time frame that im talking about also its intresting too.

And if u don't know what Ryden is (tbf idk why ur here but this will educate u) it's basically the ship name of Ryan Ross (ex guitarist and backing vocalist of panic!) and Brendon Urie (singer and last man standing)

Pre-Panic

Ryan Ross and Spencer Smith (ex-drummer of Panic!) have been friends even since they were little the photo below would prove this

They're so adorable 😊😊

In 9th grade they decide that they want to start up a band btw for reference Ryan and Spencer at that time attend (Bishop Gorman high school) and they invite Brent Wilson from Palo Verde high school to come and try out for bass along with another guy called Trevor they formed a band called Pet Salamnder this was when they were around 16 ish (They acctually still have a website for the band and you can go check it out if you want)

There some of the pics on the website but check out their bios as well because they made me laugh....

Here are some of their pics tho

Spencer and Ryan and the whole band together (Ryan😂😂)

Anyways don't really know what happened to Pet Salamander but in short they kind of lost Trevor (don't know correct me if im wrong but I think Trevor was the guitarist in the way things worked out it would make sense and I think there was another band they created in between these 2 bands but idk its not important) The band now needed a new guitarist. Brent who went to the same high school as Brendon told him he should audition for their band so Brendon did just that and became the guitarist. Orginally Ryan was meant to be the lead singer but Brendon then became the lead singer because they heard him do his singing and they though he was good. At the time especially Ryan and Brendon were having a hard time with their families and their education as they wanted to quit high school and as a result I think they both got kicked out of their houses . Brendon got a job at a smoothie shack to try and earn some money to pay for rent. He also would sing to people for tips. In other words they were hella broke.

Here is a screenshot from Ryan's livejournal (which he has now deleted) where Brendon would post underneath

I love ya' baby! wednesday. practice. be there of be....GAY!!

Brendon 😂😂

Anyways Ryan and Brendon started creating the demos for their album and Ryan decided to send them to Pete Wentz who was in the LV area recording under the cork tree with FOB. Pete listened to the demos and signed them up to his new record label decaydance after hearing them perform 2/3 songs.

I'm gonna leave you with some 2004 recording sessions this is filmed on a potato but is somehow high quality content of Ryan doing a this is our apartment tour its great

So yeah that's cool and also hilarious in it's own ways (gay bars!! 😂😂)

AFYCSO era 2005/6

AFYCSO was released on the 27th September 2005 on that same day Ryan posted something in his livejournal (I'm not sure if it was just something to commemorate it being released or if he was acctually in a relationship at this time but here is what he put)

'Whisper babe...i'm as good as it gets in this town.whisper babe..i'm a fever you can't sweat out.These are my deepest thoughts and secrets under a microscope or spotlight.Forgive me if i'm not quite ready to give them to you.it's such a different feeling..when I see you smiling and singing back to me i'm still playing different pictures in my head that arn't so pleasent. I'm doing the best now to live in the song and not just the meaning.'

(Yes this could be about Brendon but when you read it again it dosen't sound like that at all it seems as if hes talking about the lyrics and the meanings of the songs of which have things he had to deal with in his childhood his dad being an alcoholic ect. But he tries to be happy with the fans who are smiling and singing and live in the moment not just the past)

Obviously AFYCSO became popular especially the song I write sins not tragedies came out but there's many different interviews and pic that i'm going to share below.

This is the one where Ryan says that Brendon washes his hair and he blushes red. It's adorable 😊

Here is another 2005 interview by the same girl who thought Pete was called Jason 😂 but anyways it's old like just look at Ryan's hair he's in his troll phase still 😂

This is another old interview that shows them acctually performing and only contain Brendon and Ryan talking about the band they're so awkward its adorable.

And here's a pic of them from a photoshoot

Idk but Brent looks so confused rn 😂

(Look at Brendon as well staring at Ryan...hmm..😉)

And here's an adorable pic of them together my bbs 😊❤

Look at them they're soo adorable ❤❤👌😊

Anyways 2006 is when it all became big for the boys who announced a tour and where becoming bigger than ever. At the end of 2005 to 2006 both Brendon and Ryan began dating scene queens Audrey and Jac. Pics below

Yup this is them together.

Idk when they breakup but they break up and some evidence that I've found online is very interesting.

Here is screenshots of chats that Audrey and Jac had online. The first picture shows that Jac is blaming Brendon for turning her bf (Ryan) gay

The next one shows kinda the same thing exept this time Audrey blamed Ryan for turning Brendon gay

Hmmmm... All very interesting I think....

(Note there's another conversation or so that I want to include in part one but it's way too long to put on this one post so i'm going to do a little post to finish off part 1. And also i'm obviously going to work on part 2 straight away but I just feel like the whole panic! and especially Ryden stuff needs to be updated abd i also find it super interesting as well. Also I feel I need to adress all the lyrics that could somehow lead to something to do with one another there's so much stuff out here and I need it all in one place cos im fed up of trawling the internet for all the theories and stuff never getting anywhere 😂)

#emo trash #emo #p!atd #panic! at the disco #brendon urie #ryan ross #ryden was real #ryden #spencer smith #brent wilson #pete wentz #afycso #a fever you can't sweat out #2004 #2005 #2006

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 5 part 2 (hajimari no kyojin)

(sorry for the delay! i moved home from japan to the states the day after… technically the day of posting the last report so obviously it's been. Busy. last one tho!! ♥)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki) day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!) day 4 (shousha to haisha) day 5 part 1 (shinka no natsu)

guests: kenta, keita, funaki masahide, yanagihara rin

Hoo Boy this was by the most outright emotional of all the screenings so far. like, shousha to haisha was intense, but the content was intimately familiar by now. the impact of this was fresh -- and we all knew it was the end, you know? the end of our happy little week, obviously, but also the beginning of the end for karasuno. over the week all those showings had built up this tidal wave of Feelings it then unleashed here, aha. so that the cheering was right on the edge of desperate, like there were real results on the line. self extremely included. this was our last chance, in all kinds of ways.

(i, aware that i would be leaving the country in two days, was perhaps a little more desperate! but it sure as hell wasn't just me. cheering along at the top of our lungs to the opening/closing karasuno jog i described here… it was. a lot.)

of course the reaction to certain parts were as you'd expect. there was dead silence for ennoshita's big scene(s). the cheers for his receives were like nothing else. when ennoshita tells yamaguchi "let's fight together" kenta reeled backward like he'd taken a physical hit. (my son, i love you.) and of course kenta and kt were emoting all over the place for that whole storyline – kt was wiping his eyes after daichi had to leave the court, and then they both teared up over "thank you for coming back" and "captain ni tsunagenakya!"

and of course when it came to rin and funaki they had their own moments – rin obviously got misty-eyed when all of wakutani started losing their shit, lol, and funaki surprised me by wiping his eyes after misaki's goodbye to johzenji. (my guess from daisenshuuraku was right, btw, momo was crying irl during that scene. awww.)

OK BUT BACK TO THE BEGINNING sorry.

once again kt was tricked into dashing out before everyone else. XD kt: um this is not how rehearsal went. kenta: what are you talking about? :( funaki: this is just like we practiced. rin: (nods furiously) kenta: isn't it? kt: ………yes. fine.

so they accidentally grabbed the afternoon's MC script, whoops. which i'm sure kenta noticed as soon as he glanced at it, but didn't turn a hair until it was time for their self-introductions. "playing kageyama tobio, i'm kageyama tatsuya—" kt: playing nishinoya yuu i'm fuchino yuuto ^_^ funaki: hahahaha PLAYING KUROO TETSUROU IM KONDOU SHOURI audience: (CHEERS) rin: (squints at script) playing konoha akinori im… (mutters) ….azuma… takumi…? kenta: ….you were IN A PLAY WITH HIM rin: is that wrong kenta: what have you been calling him all this time rin: …………azuma…..kun………. kenta: and what did he say to that rin: …"yes?" funaki: well he does seem like he'd just roll with that kenta: IT'S HIGASHI HIS NAME IS HIGASHI

kenta: i was the MC for the shoen screening, but earlier this week, rather than do it twice himself, ryoutarou turned it over to yamagiwa kaito-kun-- audience: (bursts into giggles) kenta: …yeah so i thought maybe tonight i'd give someone else a cha-- funaki: ME I WANT TO kenta: --ok here you go funaki: wait what kenta: you looked like you really wanted to so funaki: I SUPER DO :D funaki: so uh (flips pages) next uh -- kenta: r u srs

i was SOOO fond of funaki omg what a friendly bro ahhh. so cheery and good-natured. :D (can u tell i like em dumb and smiley, apparently.) whereas rin-kun was… endearingly ditzy. XD (is he an ex-johnny's? he kind of had that air. it was like looking at ueda tatsuya circa 2005. in no small part because of the wakunan towel tucked into his waistband, which draped to the floor.)

funaki: don't forget to call the player's names during the starting order, like "terushima!" or "terushii!" or "yuuji!"

funaki: so next we'll practice cheers! i, the MC – yeah yeah yeah (rapper pose) -- kenta: masakki! kt: masakki! (like. funaki + masahide = masakki? apparently? i was unfamiliar with this nickname.) funaki: ok now yanagihara-kun's gonna lead the cheer practice rin: nice to meet you i'm MC rin ^_^ rin: where were we again? kenta: rin: wait right. this is. a cheer screening. so we want you to cheer! kenta: they know that. rin: kenta: rin: wait ok i remembered!! audience: GANBARE rin: :D;;

it took SEVERAL MORE FALSE STARTS before we actually got to the cheer practice. poor rin-kun. XD but he wasn't like, shy or embarrassed like takumi-kun he just. was kind of a ditz. "NO WAIT :D lemme try again :D wait where are we? :D"

kt: ARE YOU FIRED UP audience: WHOO funaki: ARE YOU READY TO GO audience: WHOOOO kenta: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD audience: tamago kake gohan!!

the screening: abovementioned emotions aside, plenty of dancing and choreo as you would espect, especially from funaki. rin apparently was young terushima in the flashbacks! so he and funaki did all the double terushima scenes together. and rin did all of his white coat dance choreo as well.

during the opening, kenta joined rin so he wouldn’t have to do the wakunan choreo alone. XD and funaki and rin played kiyoko-san and yachi ahahaha. then when hinata and ushiwaka begin to turn on the revolving stage, kenta started scuttling around stage trying to "revolve" himself with limited success.

yamaguchi: (snubs shimada's high five) kenta: don't mind!!

despite kenta's gleeful delight in audience comebacks, there were understandably few of them from either him or us because it was everyone's first time watching the show since daisenshuuraku! the demon elementary school children did get this massive cheer that made kenta almost fall out of his chair laughing. ditto akaashi's "michi wo tsukurimasu no de" – that was one of the most full-throated mass "KYAA"s i've ever heard (again… self… included…) and kenta thought it was HILARIOUS.

i myself was reminded all over again what a great show this was, ugh. blah blah I Love Kawahara Kazuma digression aside, please take it as read, IN ADDITION i know i briefly talked about the, like, emotional sensitivity kouhei brought to playing tanaka but fjkdlajfd the close ups on his face made it so much worse, ffffffff. GOD. dude's emotions were A Lot. just. please. gimme the dvd already.

i was also so caught up in nekoma vs fukurodani the first time i watched that i didn't notice how well kuroo and kenma's final scenes onstage functioned as a goodbye for takato and shouri. when you've been in four consecutive shows, you deserve to go out on a meaningful note. (yes ofc we don't know what the future holds etc etc but.) shouri's delivery of "you're our brain, and our spine, and our heartbeat." fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff murder me.

ahem ok. the aftertalk:

funaki said that he was used to watching videos of himself on stage to review and practice with, but it was the first time watching from a normal spectator's perspective. "oh, THAT'S how that came across." and that the effect made him cry.

rin had a really nice thing to say about how watching really impressed on him how haikyuu stage in particular is a work that is dependent on everyone's contributions combined – i.e. it's not just the lead characters, it's the combined effect of the characters in the spotlight and the characters in the background and the white coat ensemble and the technical staff that make haikyuu stage the unique production it is. (this was hard for rin to express in japanese, tbh, so idk how well i'm getting it across in english but his point was that when he says "it's a show we all create together" he's not referring to ideas or feelings but quite literally saying that everyone's contributions on stage are necessary to make haikyuu stage what it is.)

and kenta talked about how (attending every single screening as he did, lol) it was great preparation for saikyou no team to have had the chance to look back on each different production -- especially to look back on the schools and characters that appeared in just one show and carry their feelings forward to the next play.

…then they discussed how quickly rin's hair had grown back since daisenshuuraku. XD rin: tbh… i was emotionally moved when i first looked in the mirror and saw myself with hair.

then as soon as keita prompted them for backstage stories kenta was like GOKU. DEFINITELY GOKU. apparently at daisenshuuraku he started crying before wakunan even huddled up for their pre-show cheer. "I CAN'T HANDLE IT, IT'S TOO MUCH." kenta: i was watching this like R U KIDDING ME WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET rin: ahaha during the show as well, idk if this is good or bad, but he was always crying, like – there's a bit where hanayama calls "takeru!" as he makes a toss rin: and goku was always like "(sobs) TAKERU!!" kenta: ONE TIME HE CRIED SO MUCH HE SHORTED OUT HIS MIC audience: EHHHHH? kenta: how did that many tears even GET there funaki: probably the sweat plus the crying rin: incredible. kenta: that's haikyuu stage. so much sweat and tears we destroy our mics.

rin also told us about the wakunan red bull rule. they did a lot of team practice on their own, and people were chronically "just barely" late – i.e., never more than a few minutes, but it was enough to throw off practice. so they instituted a rule that whoever was "just barely" late had to buy the rest of the team red bulls. to this day, as they're preparing for their august 25 event… whoever's late has to buy everyone else red bulls. rin: we also took a lot of purikura together kenta: yeah they had such a reputation that whenever they were late karasuno would be like YOU WERE TAKING PURIKURA AGAIN WEREN'T YOU

then for johzenji funaki told the story of "The Take Two Incident", in which during johzenji's ad libs he fucked up his lines two shows in a row – and the second time was so bad he thought "what would terushima do???", straight up yelled "TAKE TWO" and started over. after which kenta collared him backstage like "did you seriously fuckin do that???" funaki: i reflected deeply on my actions.

johzenji also had iizaka, who's a pretty reticent and quiet character. but he had to do something on stage when johzenji was… being johzenji. so karasuno came up with a quirk for him: every time johzenji successfully scored or blocked he would pump his fists and happily yell "MAAA." (5 foot nothing suga kenta reenacting this was delightful, fyi.) kenta: he played the nakashima household's father too. nakashima masayoshi. nakashima… MAA… sayoshi…

THEN, UGH, keita talked about how he gave the post-curtain call greeting for maeraku (i.e. the second-to-last show, the one before senshuuraku). and of course in the greeting he talked about leaving and coming back – and as he did, suga kenta appeared on stage behind him with exactly the same staging/lighting/sound that daichi does during the play, and said daichi's line, "tanaka keita, thank you for coming back." at which point (in the greeting) keita broke down in tears. he somehow managed to relate this story to us without more than a suspiciously husky voice, haha.

(PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD INCLUDE THIS ON THE DVD)

final messages:

rin started off by talking about what a warm atmosphere haikyuu stage has – not only is the production itself good, the people involved in the production are good. this is particularly notable because of the number of people involved. productions with this many people are usually difficult in all kinds of ways – and in his opinion this production is as welcoming and smoothly run as it is thanks to suga kenta. rin: i mean, we're the same age, so as a goal -- well he's not my goal but— kenta: excuse u?? rin: WAIT NO kenta: U COMPLIMENTED ME AND THEN rin: no that's not what i meant!! kenta: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME HUH (mock flounces off stage) rin: PLEASE LET ME DO IT ONE MORE TIME

(takeru's line, "mou ikkai yarasete kure yo" XD)

he then nicely cleaned it up into what he meant to say about how much he respects kenta and how grateful he was to be part of haikyuu stage.

funaki: WELP JOHZENJI LOST so. that's. my first and last appearance in haikyuu stage. but. tbh. watching this. i really. want to be in it again. i want. to go back. BUT I CAN'T. but all of us in johzenji will do our best in our different venues so maybe we'll meet again. thanks for loving our play so much.

keita: (deep breath) lone audience member: okaeri <3 keita: tadaima :) keita managed to get through his without tearing up… i think. (i love him!!!!) he talked about how of course during a normal show one gets energized and encouraged by the audience's applause, but the energy from these screenings were different and even more direct. "it was like we were all a team." ;___;

and kenta talked about how enjoyable it was to share the emotions of a match directly with everyone, and that looking back on all the productions so far, he was reminded of all the friends and companions that got them this far, including of course the audience. :)

and that's a wrap for the summer week screenings! as i said before, i'll write up a little report about the haikyuu day event – they did an aftertalk after the livestream ended just for the theater – but it should be relatively short compared to these monsters. thanks for tuning in, everyone! ♥♥♥

#engeki haikyuu #hyper projection engeki haikyuu!! #haisute #suga kenta #tanaka keita #funaki masahide #yanagihara rin #haikyuu summer week #event report

[vxnevermorevx]

Welcome to my mind

For the last three years, my mind has been... Well, shit. Not that it hadn't been on a steady decline for years prior.

Recently, someone named her Denise. My other me. "Because that's what she is..when something is the opposite of something it's de-. She's not nice, she's De-Nice..."

Denise.

The name give to the me that's not me but spends more time pretending to be me than I do.

*Character Bio*

When I'm not Denise, I'm Ginny and she was the most wonderful person. I miss her dearly.

I had a great childhood. Very few psychological events, in my opinion. We never had much money, but my mom made sure I never knew it. My father worked hard at both his job and destroying his marriage; which is probably one of the marks on my childhood. More to come on that, I'm sure.

I didn't have trouble in school, per se. Bullied only a handful of times in all my school years. My mom is a designer, so I wore things you couldn't find on stores throughout my whole school life. I was *always* ahead of the trend and some kids couldn't handle it. We're talking 1991-2003. So, jumpers, corsets, mesh dusters, pants with fur on the bottom, dressing like anime characters... I was the first of everyone around me to be dressing that way. And I loved it!

But I had my revenge, as my hecklers could be seen wearing the same things they made fun of me for, after it became trendy. I guess you didn't have to be dead to be caught wearing that after all...

I struggled in math and excelled in art and writing. I had mostly good teachers, I think only one hated me.

I met all my best friends there. Can't say I've made all that many more in the years since. But, in my defense I'm surrounded by people who are nothing like me. You see, I grew up in Florida. All my vital youthful years were spent there. And now I live near Portland, Oregon. God, why? I even lost one of my dearest friends to the city. She completely changed from a fun, artistic girl who liked to draw, read, and cook...to...one of them. She's now a guilt vegan ( let's you know how disgusting you are for eating meat ) and is obsessed with shows that need to be cancelled. I had known this girl since first grade, she said she would follow the first friend who loved out of state. That was me, so she came out here too. Our friendship immediately began deteriorating as she would not allow me in my own room during the day, because she was talking to some loser friend of hers online. This person left her in a Walgreen's 20 miles from her home, on the wrong side of town, when we were all barely old enough to drive, because she was taking too long looking at eyeliner. But, she sounds like a solid individual to begin emulating. Are you serious? I watched my fully replacement take effect. 20 years of friendship completely gone in a matter of months. Have you ever watched someone stop carrying about you? Think about it. No, don't think about it. It's awful. She even physically ended our friendship. The first I had ever experienced. It was wrenching. But, I'm too far ahead now. I need to tell you how I got to Oregon.

Somewhere around me being 16, my dad stopped coming home. His mother had recently died and he knew some pretty shitty people willing to help him take the pain away. How does a poor, dyslexic, hoodlum, with a history of abuse cure the blues? Crack, of course. My mom did all she knew how to do, but she was pretty done with it all. They got divorced and some rich old lady "saved" him and whisked him off to Maryland where he would suffer many years of depression for what he had done to his family.

Now, it was just my mother and me. I immediately got a job and gave her my entire paycheck to help keep us in our lovely house. But as fate would have it, the city claimed eminent domain on our house with plans to build a water treatment facility. So, they lowballed us on what our house was worth and gave us 6 months to move. Now, here's some important side information: my mom is an army brat who grew up with mountains her whole life, until moving to Florida for my dad, which was apparently one of the last places she ever wanted to be. And my chummy from another tummy, was born in Oregon and had recently left me to go to OSU. This girl is my sister by all counts but blood. So, with a few other helping factors the logical answer was to start anew. How completely different my life would have been if I stayed. Can't say it would be better, just 100% different from what it is now.

But, in 2005 we moved to Oregon on the promise that we would do all the things we wanted to do and be living in Seattle in a few years.

None of that worked out. I can still remember the first night we spent in our apartment. I hated it. I let everyone know too. I think I cried for a week. I just wanted to go home. My Sisi was too far away to see her more often than the weekends and slowly her grades began to falter. This led to her dropping out and moving back to Florida just five months after I moved out here for her. I fell apart. I had only my mom and I love her, but sometimes you need your friends... You know? We did what we could and took jobs we hated and tried to get used to our new surroundings. I'm apparently a spoiled brat so I'm sure I made things painful for my mom who was finally back in her element and here I was stomping around telling everyone how much I hated it. Hate it. Present tense. I know the whole world is a cess pool of hipster, millennial idiots who all think that they know how to run the world, but the concentration of their free-for-all holier-than-thou ways is as dense here as the trees. It's exhausting listening to people who haven't showered in a week tell you how special they are because they have this heightened awareness that they learned from some Joe Blow and happens to not be fact at all. I have had a 24 year old Hispanic girl tell me that only white people can be racist, everyone else is prejudice. I told her that that in itself was a racist statement. And she said "no it's not. My teacher told me, and she has a PhD." I don't think I need to explain the definition of racism, but I do think Manson could have thrived in this town.

Fast forward quite a few years and we are both still in Oregon working jobs we hate not getting any of the things done we said we would. Are we lazy? Are we depressed? I'm sure it's both.

But, a small miracle comes my way, as I'm getting dressed to go down to the office to sign the next years lease I get a call from a woman who used to work with me. She asks if we are still looking for a new place to live and I tell her yes! We end up renting her townhouse from her because she's getting married. She proves to be a terrible landlord, probably because she's not all that good at being a person. She's really great at other things, but not that. Somme people are like that. But, I also haven't learned how to speak Oregonian in the 14 years I have been here.

A few more years and we end up buying the house and I have changed jobs for my health and things are looking up. I lose some of the weight I had acquired in my sorrows. I even find a guy that I can tolerate. Mostly bc he's 4000 miles away in another country. But, I struggle to find my way in our incredibly mismatched relationship. And he's so smart. So, successful... Here it comes... "what's he doing with a loser like me?"

My friends.... They all have something to show for their lives: degrees, children (Im not interested in these things,) husbands, jobs they don't hate....

I have a mortgage and a ridiculously high HOA, two payed off cars, 50 extra pounds on my ass, a job I'm not particularly built for, and a guy whom I love differently than he loves me.

I'm killing it.... Or myself. One way or the other. "I still haven't figured that shit out yet " -Eddie Murphy

I think this a pretty good place to stop for now. You should have a good amount of reference points for the following posts which will entirely be me, describing my chronic severe depression hoping that someone somewhere might read it and know they are not alone. I feel such a sense of validation when I read something from someone who feels the same as I do. This blog isn't for attention or critiquing, as most will likely be written when things like grammar and story structure aren't focused on. It's purely to get the chaos out so, I can organize it.

I don't know who you are but if you're reading this far, please stay tuned if you want to say "Wow, that's exactly how I feel."

Do good.

[simplyaiden-blog]

Tag Game!

RULES: tag ten followers you want to know better!  I was tagged by my lovelies @walkerismychoice @tmarie82 and @lizeboredom (I hope that was everyone  Thanks to all of you  for the tags and sorry this took me so long!!!

Tagging: @larryssunflower @confessionsofabrokegirl @imafictosexual @kateomalleys @alicars @srawesleyghuewrites @clarissafics @viktoriapetit @christopher-powell @pilitella @kinkykingliam @writtenbycandy @abigailpoe 

I apologize if you’ve already been tagged. Feel free to ignore!

sign: Libra

Height: 4′ 11″ (I know, I’m tiny. I could probably fit in your pocket)

What’s your middle name: I’m pulling a Damien Nazario and drinking to that.

Put your iTunes on shuffle. What are the first 4 songs that popped up?

Sex and Candy by Maroon 5

Scared of Change by Our Last Night

I Blew it off by Punch Brothers

Gone by the Head and the Heart

Grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. What’s line 17?

Wait  to start graduate school  until you are highly motivated so that you can begin earning yourself a good reputation from your first day.

Getting what you came for: The smart student’s guide to earning a masters or PhD.

Sorry guys, im in lab, this is the closest thing to a book I have here lol

Have you ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes! My fiance wrote a song about the night we met, one of the perks of dating a musician 😊

When was the last time you played air guitar? Im uncool and have did air guitar while my fiance and I were belting out songs during our roadtrip a few weeks ago haha

Who is your celebrity crush? So, all time crush is Ryan Reynolds, right @tmarie82?!....BUT as everyone here can attest, I’m obsessed with Michiel Huisman

I mean, have you looked at him? Also, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, Colin O’Donoghue, and a lot of others.  

What’s a sound you hate + a sound you love?

A sound I hate: my alarm in the morning. Car alarms, car horns, ambulance sirens.

A sound I love: so many! A child’s laughter, a baby coo, the ocean, my dog dreaming.

Do you believe in ghosts?  So, not really? i’ve never had an experience with ghosts, so I’m prone to say no, but also I’m open to possibility...let’s just hope if I do run into one, they are benevolent and not a death echo, or vengeful spirit (im looking to Dean and Sam Winchester to save me, if I do lol).

How about aliens? It would be really foolish to believe that we are the only planet that can sustain intelligent life.  The universe is a big place. <–Keeping this answer because I agree!

Do you drive? Yes and no.  I used to drive all the time when I lived in Florida, but now that Im in New York, there’s no need.

If so, have you ever crashed? 

I personally have never been in a car accident while driving, but i was almost killed in a car accident in a taxi cab heading home from the airport. We were on the highway and a car at high speeds crossed over the median and concrete wall and almost t boned us, but hit our back left corner causing us to spin out and the other car to flip over multiple times.  Everyone involved survived with minimum injuries.  The police and paramedics said if the we would have been going just a tad bit slower or him crossing over sooner by just a second, I probably would have died.  I count my blessings everyday.

What was the last book you read? The last book I read was East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? yeah hard pass on that one

What was the last movie you saw?  

Literally the last movie I saw was Pride and Prejudice (2005) yesterday...after Desire and Decorum I needed it! Also finally saw Thor Ragnorak and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (with Michiel, duh! Watch it, it’s really good!)

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? 

So physically the worst injury i had was a sprained ankle from softball in high school.  Though when I was 11 my house burned down, and was in the hospital for a week for smoke inhalation and my lungs collapsed twice.  So, I have the lungs of a 40 year old chain smoking woman even though Ive never smoked in my life.  To this day, even going up stairs, I get winded.

Do you have any obsessions right now? Tumblr, TRR, Michiel Huisman (I swear you guys are probably so bored of me talking about this guy, but I cant help it - Sorry, but not really)

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? So this is not a simple yes or no. I would say generally no, but it really REALLY depends on what you’ve done to me. There have been people in my life who caused me great physical and emotional harm. It’s not my job to clear their consciences by forgiving them. I might let it go, but I avoid interacting with them after that. If it is a simple transgression, I will almost always let it go, especially if they seem to be working on fixing their issues. <-- stealing this cause I feel the same way!

In a relationship? Engaged and currently planning my wedding :D

Again late to the party, so not sure who’s done this already...

tagging: @larryssunflower @clarissafics @christopher-powell @pilitella @livingthroughchoices @imafictosexual @confessionsofabrokegirl @kinkykingliam @srawesleyghuewrites @kateomalleys @writtenbycandy @alicars @viktoriapetit @abigailpoe

[jordansadare]

2005

I wasn’t ever a super popular kid, maybe from the years of private school abuse. But I never quite felt like I know how to communicate with others very well. I was weird and self conscious about it. Or felt I was sub par to the other kids in my class that they all had their niche and I still couldn’t find mine.

I was in a car that my boyfriend drew was driving at the time when he had picked me up from school. He was going to take me to get food and went to turn and turned into oncoming traffic and they slammed into the door and shattered every bone in my foot. So I was prescribed pain pill (which I never knew or honestly thought about people getting high on or wanting). 

Until. Spanish class I over hear these two girls talking about these pills and I was like, “Oh, I have those I do them all the time”. Trying to be cool, maybe find a niche. Little did I know that IVing pain pills would be my niche for sure in 12 years. Sometimes you get what you wish for huh? So I get some of these pills percs and hydros for these girl cause whatever I never took them they made my stomach itch on the inside and I didn’t care for the feeling. Since they believed I was such a drug doer they gave me 8 red pills and told me to eat them all, which I did of course. 

I had never been so high in my entire life or sick at first. I got up in class ready to puke my brains out. My high school was a series of buildings with 2 stories each to simulate a college campus. So I’m holding onto the railing of the stairs sitting on my ass scooting down the stairs because I could not figure out how to work the stairs. I finally make it to the bathroom and puke for what feels like 20 minutes. Someone even came into check on me. I feel good enough to leave and just float on my magical cloud to my next class. It went on like this all day I just would leave my classes and enter them whenever I did not care at all. I had a math test and drew a sunshine on it with a smiley face and turned it in. I passed by the two girls at some point and they looked equally as fucked up.

Those pills were skittles, coriciden.

I immediately started hanging out with them and by the weekend I’d done them every day and increased my dosage. The power of more. I decided that id just keep taking them this day and I sometimes forget to eat while I’m high which isn’t good because it makes you puke, well you can get past it. We were having a drug induced robo pool party. So I take 16 more pills and that makes my dose for the day 164. I lay down cause Im feeling out of it. Not high out of it, the somethings wrong out of it. If I’d known anything about drugs I would have known this was over dose. Most 14 year olds aren't taking 164 cold medicine tabs.

I’m dead. People ask me all the time if it was just the drugs, but it was not. I saw my entire life and not just saw it I relived every emotion I could remember things that I thought as a baby, every feeling every moment was hyper relived and then thrust into an empty space with this light. The white light was in a corner to the top right and a voice was speaking to me. The voice gave me an option to live and change my ways or teach people a lesson from addiction OR I could die tonight from this. I knew after watching my life that I didn’t want to die.

I came back with a grasping breath and looked around I couldn’t move any of my body parts so people carried me inside and tried to help me eat and drink but I couldn’t yet. No one wanted any trouble so of course no one called the hospital. So I pass out.

Its interesting I have no problem with a higher power because of this night. God is real. We may all define him differently but He is real, whatever your concept is right. This was a defining moment for me. I’ve noticed through the years and suicide attempts and over doses that normal people would die from barely phase me. I think it was because I had a choice then and I didn't take it. Maybe this is his plan as long as I am in active addiction my life will have horrible ramifications. It does that is evident. What is also evident is that I have an opportunity for a second chance to do what God wants me to do with the life he’s regiven me. It is also very clear that I am going to kick and scream and make life show me as many lessons as possible. Fact this is Gods world and Im going to show his works if its by being a good or bad example- if you look youll see Him.