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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 3 months

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Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

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bonjour ma peeps. je suis ruth und je ne parle le french. spanish is more my bag. mi bag. enjoy ray as he slowly descends into madness because he wants a baby and his wife sys no. sucks to be him :)

~ Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

"Come on! Let's go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Ray bellowed as he impatiently hovered by SWAG's front door.

Glancing at his gadget-filled watch, he breathed a frustrated sigh, wondering what was taking his protégés so long to pack. They were going on a trip, not for fun, but for a mission - three days max, so he didn't know what the hold-up was. After all, it was only Paris - he didn't see the big deal.

For some, it was a big deal, the getaway of a lifetime to the city of love, famed for its cafés, architecture, and tourist attractions. (y/n) was one of them, having been unable to sit still all week ever since they received confirmation that Captain Man and Co were needed overseas. Her childhood dream was to take her lover and experience all those cheesy, cliche things she saw in her rom-coms.

It was enough to make her bounce excitedly on the spot, hugging Ray's beefy arm close to her chest, where her heart thundered from the adrenaline. Their bags were packed: a manly, dark camo sports bag for him and an overly girly, glitzy purple suitcase for her, and of course, her husband insisted on carrying both. His sweet girl packed enough for three weeks, let alone three days, but he indulged her.

After all, only a genuinely remarkable lover would whisk their wife away to the most romantic city on Earth, even if it involved a little crimefighting.

Well, that is if the children didn't fuck things over for him.

"We're s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'going!" Mika replied sharply, snapping her hard plastic case shut and haphazardly zipping it up. Unlike some, she and her friends had only learned about the little detour half an hour ago; trust Ray to tell them they were going halfway around the world when no one had anything decent to wear, toiletries, or parental consent.

"Our Goober Lux is three minutes away, and I'm not going to lose my five-star rating for any of you!" The man growled, anxiously glancing at his phone to see the taxi approaching. He wanted to be the perfect customer, ready and waiting by the door with his sweet girl's hand in his, looking ever so handsome.

His hair was so floppy, that jacket was deliciously tight, and the gleaming, golden band on his left hand made the heroine swoon as she squished his bicep more. Maybe it was the thrill, the whiff of adventure, or maybe Paris was just that enticing, but she was ridiculously giddy, too happy to scold the children about dragging their feet.

"You could help us...(y/n/n)?"

"Well, I--"

"She's with me, and I'm helping by yelling..." Ray told Mika sharply when she looked at the starry-eyed woman for help, refusing to let his wife go merely because they weren't prepared. He'd already told her twice, but she looked gorgeous in that pretty little dress--so cute he could burst, but he concentrated on yelling instead. The sooner they moved, the sooner he could show her the fancy-schmancy suite he'd booked at the hotel.

"Let's go! Let's go!"

"Relax, boss. I'm good to go," Miles called out smoothly, looking like the picture of relaxation as he reclined in his chair, feet propped up on his desk with a magazine in hand. Everything around him was chaotic, yet the boy didn't look phased, flicking through the pages while his sister ran around like a mad bull.

"Uh, Miles. We're going to Paris. Aren't you gonna pack anything?" (y/n) asked, wandering over to the kid's side with her doofus in tow. Maybe it was just her - she was a stickler when it came to luggage - but it was a wonder how calm and collected he was, barely sparing them a glance as he turned another page.

"Whatever I need, the universe will provide," he replied with his usual zen. He was so confident in the mystic power that he almost looked smug. For some reason, coincidences fell around him like dominoes, always ensuring his life ran smoothly with no bumps or issues in the road.

But, of course, there were no such things as coincidences - cue Mika walking into the room from the closet, dragging double her weight in suitcases while Miles sat idly by. She always did this, looking out for her brother, even when her care bordered on neglect; after all, he was old enough to look after himself.

"Okay, Miles. I packed all your stuff. Again."

"Told 'ya!" The boy smirked at his teachers before licking his forefinger and thumb to grasp another page, looking arrogant since all the hard work was done for him.

"Mika, honey..." (y/n) sighed, swallowing the urge to give the conceited kid an earful about respect and good manners. Instead, she turned to the sweating, out-of-breath girl, who smiled sweetly after placing the heavy bags down for a breather. It was like she didn't see anything wrong with her kindness; she was too innocent and thoughtful to see how Miles took advantage of her generosity. But she did - (y/n) knew the doormat life all too well.

"Why do you do this for him?"

"The only way he'll learn is if I do it over and over again for him until he learns," Mika explained, and for one so bright, she just sounded dumb. Uttterly stupid. Painfully moronic. And it practically had the woman slapping her forehead in exasperation.

"Mika. I have raised four other children and a doofus. Trust me. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind. You are not his maid, nor his mother, so Miles," (y/n) turned and glared at the boy as she growled out his name, "should get off his butt and pack his own suitcase."

"You're scary when you're mothering..." the girl trailed off, staring at her friend in awe and mild reluctance once her furious tirade finished. It even left her brother looking a little sheepish, shrinking into his chair as Ray approached her, looping his arms around her waist to pull her back to his chest.

He, too, was in awe of his wife, finding it ridiculously hot when she took charge and laid down the law with her confidence and authority. He nuzzled her hair and neck as the girl nodded shyly, promising to be more assertive next time.

"I've had a lot of practice. This doofus used to be and still is a handful," (y/n) joked, reaching a hand up to stroke Ray's hair as he smooched her jawline loudly, making her shriek. It was nauseatingly cute, causing Miles to loudly clear his throat as the hero stroked the glittering rings on her finger, wildly in love with his darling girl, to notice the children swanning around the room.

"You still married me, though, Mrs Manchester..."

"Of course, Mr Manchester."

"Get a room, you guys..." the boy said in a sing-song voice, making the woman giggle when her husband sighed and grumbled. He longed for their honeymoon days when he could openly kiss and love her without a pesky child whining about decency and celibacy.

But Miles was right; they had places to go and people to meet, and any kiss would be ten times sweeter in France. So, the man pecked her cheek and released his wife, clearing his throat before heading back to the door, wondering where that Goober was. At least one kid seemed abnormally focused on his task...

"Bose! Bring the stuff outside."

"You got it, boss. Remember, I am Boooooose..." the long-haired boy replied nasally - almost like he had a cold - as he bent over and fiddled with the zipper on his luggage.

It was strange; he'd been hunched over the damn thing for at least fifteen minutes, ignoring anyone and everything around him, even as his friends ran around doing a million tasks at once. He'd never concentrated so hard in the few months he'd been at the fake school, and it was rare for him not to wander around with that dimpled smile like nothing was wrong in the world.

Instead, he did not show his face, looking through thick hair strands with his hood tightly pulled over his head. Very odd, and that voice... It was so familiar, but not like Bose's, prompting Ray and (y/n) to whip around with deep frowns. He knew that adenoidal tone...

'Wait a minute..." Ray growled, sniffing the air like a bloodhound as he stomped to the quiet boy, sensing something was wrong. It was those superhero instincts... "I knew I smelled science in here!"

Everyone gasped as the man yanked the hood from Bose's head, only to find an imposter was among them.

Turning around with a terrified face after being discovered, the team were shocked to see Schwoz staring back at them in a very clever disguise. If he had played his cards a little better, no one would've noticed the deception since his costume was so good, complete with a very Bosey wig, his signature blue hoodie, skinny jeans, and trainers.

The resemblance was uncanny but not good enough.

"Can you smell science?" (y/n) pondered, knowing her doofus hated anyone behaving smarter than him but smelling it? That was a little crazy, even for him.

"Schwoz, why are you dressed like that?" She moved on, standing beside Ray as she looked the small man up and down, wondering what he was thinking.

"'Cause I want to go to Paris! It's the city of love--and I want to fall in love!" Ah, a stowaway. Schwoz gazed at his friends with misty, wonder-filled eyes, looking every bit the hopeless romantic that (y/n) often saw in her sappy movies. Hearing him talk about feelings and emotions was a little out of character. Still, it warmed her heart as she smiled warmly - she was a sucker for romance, no matter who it involved.

"Awwww..."

"That's strangely adorable."

"The heart seeks what it needs!" She cooed with the kids, clutching her chest as her heartstrings sang. They all thought it was adorable, mirroring the genius's dopey, hopeful smile as he imagined meeting a tall, beautiful bombshell along the Seine. Ray, however, wasn't so smitten, scoffing loudly as he sneered at his handyman.

"First of all, we're not going to Paris to fall in love," he said firmly, pointing a stern finger in Schwoz's face. He fell in love in Swellview, not halfway around the world, so anyone else's feelings didn't matter.

"We're going to Paris because the French Captain Man is on strike. Second of all, everybody knows you're going to die alone!"

"Raymond! How could you be so mean?!" (y/n) scolded her doofus as the poor guy gasped loudly, undoubtedly wounded by his boss' harsh words. Ray flinched under her sharp gaze, but she didn't waver, wondering if he'd be so cruel if someone said the same to him; after all, their relationship seemed hopeless initially.

"...Monsieur Man is on strike?" Schwoz asked incredulously, clueless about how the woman's face fell when he brushed over the apparent insult. Maybe it secretly hurt him, but he didn't show it, staring up at Ray, who smooched her cheek as an apology - although she didn't hear him apologise to the little guy.

"Yes!" Instead, he turned on the smartboard, where he had the front page of France's online leading newspaper. All anyone could gossip about was how the city's leading superhero refused to work and Monsieur Man was very popular.

In some ways, he looked very similar to Ray, or at least (y/n) could see the similarities. He was stereotypically handsome with solid and masculine features, thick biceps, and shoulder-length, slicked-back blond hair. His uniform was a little strange, designed like Ray's, with a long-sleeved white undershirt covered by a zip-up tunic in the French flag's colours.

"I am Monsieur Man!"

He spoke with a thick, French accent, flashing his crazy eyes at the camera as he sipped from an espresso cup. Maybe in an alternate universe, she would've dated him. Still, her better instincts said he wasn't the same as her doofus - a little too eccentric and cheesy for her liking.

"They need us to protect France's greatest national treasures until he agrees to go back to work."

"Yeah, how long is that going to take?" Miles asked, praying that the Parisian hero was reasonable and easy to handle. He could lie to his parents a bit - a weekend field trip - but anything longer and they'd get suspicious. Also, who wanted to spend more than a few days in the city of love with Mr and Mrs Manchester?

"Not sure. We'll have to ask when we get there," (y/n) replied, leaning up on her tippy-toes to peck Ray's lips. She could barely wait, sharing a bright smile with him as they imagined everything they'd see and do together, squeezing hands without realising everyone was watching. Mika thought it was adorable, and Schwoz could only hope for a love like theirs.

"I don't speak French..." the boy added, wondering what they'd do once they landed. Ray couldn't work with others, so a translator had to be out of the question. Maybe just some very well-timed hand gestures?

"That's okay. Je parle un peu français. Je l'ai étudié au lycée, donc on devrait survivre," the heroine replied smoothly, her cheeks slightly warm as the children quirked their eyebrows at her - even Miles was mildly impressed, which was no mean feat.

Ray curled his arms around her waist, pulling his beloved wife to his rumbling chest, practically purring as the beautifully romantic words wrapped around her tongue before soothing his ears. She had to be trying to seduce him, right? Looking up at him through those lashes, smiling cutely, kissing his jaw...he had to be the luckiest man in the world.

"That's so hot, darlin'..." he murmured in her ear, hugging her closely as Schwoz sighed dejectedly, longing for love like theirs. They giggled and whispered to each other, cheeks superheating when Ray asked if she could kiss like the French, too, but he pulled away when the kids coughed awkwardly. Right...he forgot they were there.

"Anyway, you don't have to learn French--French is just English but with very ridiculous accents!"

"That's very ridiculously wrong," Mika mumbled, stunned when her so-called teacher put on the worst impression of a Frenchman she'd ever seen. His voice was thick and heavily accented, finished with a little Frenchy laugh, but he couldn't be further from the truth.

"Such a doofus, mon amour..." (y/n) sighed, shaking her head, but she leaned up to kiss him anyway. Love was in the air, making them extra affectionate and cuddly as they buzzed with anticipation for their romantic break, even if it was technically for work.

The hero grinned against her lips until an alarm sounded, painting the walls red momentarily before Chapa and Bose dropped from the ceiling in their chairs. They'd been grabbing some last-minute essentials from upstairs - weapons, gadgets, underwear - bringing everything down in large, heavy-duty, carry-on bags. They were late, making Ray frown as he glanced at his phone again - where was that Goober?

"Sorry, I'm late! I couldn't find my hoodie," Bose said as he placed the bag on his desk, only to look across at Schwoz and see him wearing his looted sweater. No wonder he couldn't find it; it was part of the genius' cunning disguise.

"Hey, I have that same hoodie! And that same hair!"

"You pack all out travelin' weapons?" Ray asked Chapa after wandering over to her side, looking too damn handsome in that jacket. And seeing him in his tight jeans and the black muscle shirt underneath? Nothing made (y/n) drop to her knees quicker...

"Yeah," Chapa confirmed, having run around the Man's Nest like a madwoman when the hero snapped his fingers and demanded she find everything they'd need to protect themselves in a foreign country. And obviously, he couldn't do it, monitoring the taxi and smooching his beloved wife. Critical stuff.

"You got Lil' Sizzler?" He asked, his lips twitching upward when the girl nodded diligently for every weapon he listed. "The Smoke Wagon? The Mean Wheel?"

"Trick question. There is no weapon called The Mean Wheel..."

"Okay, Chapa..." Ray grinned, thoroughly impressed by her attention to detail and in-depth knowledge. She didn't miss a beat, knowing everything she'd left in the pack, which, strangely enough, was identical to the one Bose had packed - the one he rummaged through as they chatted. Unzipping the gym bag, he pulled out a weird-looking device, like a child's windmill, with half a dozen stickers of his grumpy face stuck to each point as it spun around.

"I got a Mean Wheel right here. You show it to the bad guy, and when he all the mean faces on it, he's like, put that away! It's so mean!" Oh, sweet boy. He meant well, but God, he was simple.

"Oh, Bosey..." (y/n) shook her head with a sigh as Ray flashed the kid a wobbly smile, swapping a look with his sweet girl.

"Lemme holla at you for a second," Miles murmured to his fellow sidekick, placing a warm, kind hand on Bose's shoulder as he pulled him aside for a quick chat, leaving the happy couple with Chapa. Someone needed to tell him why that windmill thing wasn't appropriate, and the boys were particularly close, even if Miles' patience only stretched so far.

"So, I was thinking...when we're in Paris, we have to kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower!" (y/n) mentioned to her doofus as the boys talked a few paces away. She turned in his arms, grinning at him as Ray hummed and kissed her forehead, knowing he'd do anything she asked. He didn't mind what they did, willing to show her the entire city if she wanted, but he couldn't help but tease her a little.

"Can't we kiss anywhere else?" He smirked, stroking her curves as Chapa gagged at his side. God, every minute of every damn day...they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"Well, duh, you big doof! But it's a tradition! All couples kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower."

"Well, I can arrange that..." the man growled, leaning down to kiss his wife as she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and humming appreciatively.

As they smooched, utterly entranced by the nerves, excitement, and love in the air, the girl by their side groaned and shook her head. She always wore a frown, but this was something else - deep, stern, and severe, etched into her baby-like features the longer they locked lips.

"No fair! So, you guys get to go off doing all your kissy-kissy stuff while we do all the work!" She complained, forcing the couple to break apart as Ray scowled, ignoring how Bose skipped upstairs to look for something. Honestly, he could never love her properly with these little shits around...

"Hey! Can't a man take his incredibly hot wife on a romantic trip?" He asked, squeezing (y/n) 's hips as she rolled her eyes and lovingly kissed his cheek, running her wedding rings down his freshly shaven face. Before she could coo about how unbelievably handsome he was or Chapa could argue otherwise, Mika piped up, looking perturbed.

"Hey, Ray?" She called out, standing and looking through the window while everyone nattered. She'd watched a large, mini-van-type vehicle pulled up outside the school, loitering by the curb as the driver glowered at the front door. He didn't look happy - impatient like every taxi driver - making her gulp as she turned toward the hero.

"There's a Goober LUX SUV outside."

"Oh, my stars! MY stars!" The man gasped, yanking his PearPhone from his pocket and baulking when he noticed the app said his car was here - and his rating was going down. He must've missed the notification, too distracted by his wife's sweet lips or the dumb kid's stupidity.

"What, doofus?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow, quickly following her lover as he dashed around the room in panic.

"I missed the alert, darlin'! Now, my five-star rating is going down! C'mon, C'mon, C'mon, C'mon! S'go, S'go, S'go!" He urged them all, clapping his hands as everyone jumped into action.

The kids grabbed a bag, swiftly wheeling the suitcases toward the door, including Bose, who lowered his face to the floor. He hurried toward the door without saying a word, frantic into the Goober without glancing at his friends, especially the happy couple. (y/n) grabbed her case, too, nudging Ray's until he raced over to take both, not wanting to see her lift a finger.

"Chapa!"

"What?--" Ray tossed a heavy bag toward the girl before shoving a suitcase toward her knees like a bowling ball. The force nearly toppled her over, but he didn't care, flashing his beloved wife a brilliant smile before holding his hand out for her to take. He practically dragged her to the car, but (y/n) didn't mind, tottering along with a giddy giggle.

This was the beginning of her romantic break, and no one would ruin it.

Everyone was so eager and rushed that no one noticed how Bose expertly programmed the Man's Nest security programme, which involved inputting a code far beyond his technical capabilities. The kid could barely count to ten, yet he punched in the string of numbers without issue, activating dozens of skin-searing lasers that crisscrossed every room should any burglar dare to break in.

With that, he scuttled out of the door with his case, closing and bolting the door behind him, dashing toward the car with a mischievous grin. No one would ever know...the genuine Bose would be safe and snug in the Nest, and Schwoz would find the woman of his dreams.

*bonjour mis amis. je have le smutti smut - oui-oui. if les enfants amongst us could shut their eyes for the next 5k, that would be lovely, and everyone avert your screens from your mothers.

(Raymond secretly wants a baby zut alors!)

SKIP IF YOU DON'T FANCY IT! ONWARDS!*

"Holy shit, doofus. This place is insane..."

"Anything for my best girl..." The hero grinned at his wife as she marvelled at their hotel room. She chucked her jacket over a regal chair draped in gold silk with a polished mahogany frame, offering both opulence and comfort. Its gracefully curved legs and delicate embellishments made it a statement piece of luxury. Yet, it was the bed she focused on.

In the grandeur of the bedroom, the luxurious mattress commanded attention with soft sheets and plush, tufted velvet cushions. Crafted from polished mahogany, too, the bedframe boasted ornate carvings, while a canopy of sheer curtains added a romantic touch to the opulent retreat, inviting anyone who entered to indulge in a haven of rest and relaxation. She fell backwards onto it, testing the plushness and sighing, knowing this was the epitome of comfort as her husband laughed.

Paris was a bit of her. The culture was clever, all elegance and the finer things in life as the city lights twinkled in the darkness. They'd landed quite late - past nine - and headed straight for the hotel, which was far too expensive and fancy for four tweens, but Ray paid for double twin rooms. He had to if he wanted to wine and dine his sweet girl, booking them into an executive suite facing the Champs de Mars.

It was one of the best rooms available--anything to see her smile. Everything had a lovely, warm glow from the furniture's pastel hues. The wallpaper was French - thick, glittery, and doubtlessly expensive with its gold, elaborate design. The carpet was plush, creamy, and woollen, caressing her feet as she stood up and padded across the room, dodging the seventeenth-century sideboards and coffee table.

"Oh, Raymond..." (y/n) breathed as she pulled one of the chintz drapes back from the window and peered at the outside world.

An iconic structure illuminated the city skyline with a golden glow, its intricate lattice of lights shimmering against the dark canvas of the night sky. The city below was a tapestry of twinkling lights. The Eiffel Tower stood as a timeless sentinel as the couple gazed out, casting a romantic spell over the heroine.

She didn't want to imagine how much he'd paid for the view, glancing back over her shoulder as Ray pressed his front to her back, enjoying it with her. His hands held her hips as he rested his chin on her shoulder, silently smirking to himself for a job well done at her awed expression. He took it as a sign he'd chosen well, feeling his heart sing when she took in every aspect, not wanting to lose a moment.

"Do you like it?" He whispered, kissing her neck as she nodded slowly, barely aware of reality as the lights twinkled on The Eiffel Tower. It was breathtakingly beautiful, although he was looking at someone else.

"Of course, doof! I've always dreamed of seeing The Eiffel Tower..." (y/n) sighed dreamily, leaning her forehead on the cool glass as her hand laid over the one on her hip. "Thank you..."

"I promised I'd make all your dreams come true when I married you, pretty girl."

"You didn't have to book us into the fanciest hotel in town, though..." She giggled, squirming at the ticklish sensation of his lips on her skin, but she couldn't be happier. His wedding band felt hot, hard, and heavy on her waist, slightly digging into her as he kept rubbing around his favourite spots...hips, tummy, and ass, up her ribcage until he nearly brushed under her breasts.

"Bose was so shocked he couldn't say a word, poor kid..."

"Go big or go home, darlin'. And besides, I have a dream too..." Ray mumbled, losing himself in his wife's soft body and floral-scented hair.

The mention of that kid barely passed his mind, forgetting how uncharacteristically quiet and shy the boy was when they checked in. He barely said goodnight, not that the hero cared. He couldn't drag his wife into their bedroom quick enough, eager to have her all to himself in the lap of luxury because they didn't get to do this very often. Not with those little demons knocking on the door every day.

"Really?" (y/n) asked quietly, feeling a new heat pulsing through her veins from his wandering fingertips. It didn't help how he'd stripped off his red jacket, revealing the deliciously tight black muscle shirt underneath. He looked so fucking hot, standing there in all black with his biceps bulging every time he moved his arms.

Every inch of him was pressed against her, hands glued to her waist, and there was nowhere to go but the cityscape before her.

"Oh, yeah..." he replied, lightly nibbling a spot just below her ear before bringing his lips back up, whispering in a sultry, throaty voice.

"I've always wanted to say I fucked my wife in Paris."

"Raymond!" She gasped, half-scandalised, half-pulsating with heat. She sounded shocked, but it was a little late for that at this point. She was used to his antics, familiar with how he said it how it was, revelling in his blatant and unapologetic love and lust for her. So used to it, in fact, that the brief feeling - which could've been shock - passed all too quickly, painting a coquettish grin on her face in its wake.

She turned her head to glance at him over her shoulder, giggling when his nose nuzzled into her cheek, mirroring her heated expression. His lips brushed her skin, holding her waist a little tighter as he pulled her ass back into his body. He was obvious and unashamed in every way, rolling his pelvis into her, nipping her jaw a little.

"What? Don't you want me to ravish you, sweet girl? This is the City of Love, after all," Ray teased, a rumble in his voice when she rocked her hips with his, wiggling her butt as she pushed against the glass. A little minx in his mitts, just as unabashed as he was as she tilted her chin up, encouraging the marks he sucked into her skin.

There wasn't a hint of rejection. Not even a suggestion that she didn't want him as much as he wanted her. If anything, she slumped against the pane more, arching her spine while his fingers danced with the button on her jeans. But indeed, giving in from the off wasn't as fun.

"The kids are next door..." A pathetic excuse - murmured through lips curled upwards, making the man snarl.

Frankly, he didn't give a shit. He had the girl of his dreams in his embrace, lovingly trapped with nowhere to go--his wife, hot, ready, aching to take his cock. He wouldn't stop for anyone, and certainly, not four little Satan-spawns, who made it their mission in life to steal him away in the morning, interrupting every clinch with their problems, groaning at every stolen kiss.

It was time to test if his money was well-spent, to see if this hotel really was le triomphe de Paris--if anyone could push the soundproofing to its limits, it was them.

"They won't hear a thing," he replied curtly, running his middle finger around the jean button before expertly popping it open with his forefinger and thumb. His sweet, precious girl didn't struggle, whining as another hand snuck around her body to grasp and fondle her tit, stealing that argument from her mind as she bucked into his touch.

"W-we only just got here..." (y/n) gasped as he squeezed whatever he could grab, dipping into her pants only to stop when she went and ruined it. She loved playing games, and Ray loved a challenge.

"No time like the present," he shot back instantly, wasting no time in moving past her panties and into her slick, circling her clit as he gathered her wetness on his fingers.

Humming in the back of his throat, he approved of how her body did all the talking, juddering when the heel of his palm ground against her sensitive flesh. Soft moans fell from her mouth as he hunched over her body, playing it to a tune only he knew when he found her nipple through her shirt and bralette. That pulled a sharper whine from her, and when he bit the side of her neck...the fight left her.

No more teasing. Just a sweet girl and her doofus in the most romantic city on Earth, in a suite designed to give the ultimate satisfaction.

"Take me to the bed, then, doofus..." the heroine begged, nails scraping down the window as he unhurriedly toyed with her.

"No..." Ray replied lowly, smirking evilly since he was enjoying the game she started. She - the girl of his dreams - was putty in his embrace, keening at the slightest touch until she dripped for him, soiling the loose jeans barely clinging to her hips. They shimmied down her body, making them both desperate to rip them off and get on with it, but he had a different idea. When in Paris...

"First, you'll take me right here, right now. Let the whole city see how well you take me."

His mouth was hot against her ear, whispering harshly as she nodded without thought, becoming drunk and pliant on his throaty tone and thick fingers - the way they cupped between her legs to tease at her entrance.

Usually, she'd never be so daring, rationality telling her that anyone - one of the hundreds of tourists exploring the city's nightlife - could look up and see them in a lust-fuelled tangle. Then, the nerves kicked in, whispering about how they'd be the next internet sensation, how the hotel would kick them out, how the world would know what they did. Usually.

To her surprise, (y/n) found herself equally hungry, clammy palms leaving the window and their prints behind to roughly shove her jeans down her hip until they gathered at her knees. Then, it was just a matter of shimmying them down her calves and stepping out of them, kicking them to the side without a spare thought once her lower half was bare and accessible for her doofus.

"Such a needy girl..." he chuckled, although he didn't waste the opportunity. With more space to manoeuvre, his fingers slipped through her slit with ease, smearing her wetness around her clit until she sobbed, nodding weakly.

"Such a good girl for me, though..."

A hand curled around her throat, pulling her forehead away from the cool glass until she tilted the base of her skull on his shoulder. Her torso was a canvas for him to roam, tweaking her breasts while he twisted his neck to kiss her, tongue messily running across her lips to tangle with hers.

"Want my cock, pretty girl?" He asked breathlessly after they pulled apart, and (y/n) didn't miss the angelic note in his tone. She could never understand how he could say such vulgar things so nonchalantly. Still, either way, she loved it, gasping, begging, vigorously jerking her head in a reverent yes.

God, yes, she wanted it. Wanted his cock. The only thing that could soothe the ache in her pussy, five stories up, watching over the city of Paris with him all over her like a rash. It was daring, it was dangerous, it was downright obscene, but yes, she wanted it.

"Your words, darlin'. Say it," Ray cooed, hissing through his teeth when his beloved wife turned to jelly in his arms, merely presenting her ass against the hardened length trapped in those black skinny jeans.

But that was boring--too easy to just fuck her now without making her ravenous. Hearing her desire was hot - hotter than self-gratification could ever be.

"I want it..." (y/n) mumbled quietly, her lips feeling fuzzy and clumsy like she'd spent the afternoon knocking back shot after shot of hard liquor. She'd say anything he wanted to hear if it meant he'd be deep inside her, screwing the lust and longing out, trusting her beloved idiot to take care of everything she couldn't think about.

"Louder. Do you want to be fucked or not?" The hero growled, hands still against her clit and tit when her pitiful attempt barely made it to his ears. Where was the woman who commanded his home like a queen? The one who often straddled his hips and rode him with authority and conviction?

"Yes!" She cried a sudden desperation fuelling her sharp shout when the dear pleasure he gave her was ripped away. Her hips rolled into his fingertips, chasing the hazy delight. Yet he retreated before she could, bringing them to his lips instead so he could suck the honey off them - down to the goddamn knuckle.

"Fuck, please, doofus...fuck me. Give me your cock."

"Right now? Right here? Wanna give all those people a show?" Ray grinned, licking at the delicious sweetness on his lips, eager to have another taste if she'd let him. But first, he needed to be inside her, straining against his jeans when she tucked her nose under his jaw and whimpered.

"Fuck me hard, Captain. Give it to me."

"That's my girl." He moved in an instant, shoving her back against the window with an unusual but not unwelcome roughness so she was braced against the glass again. His foot kicked her ankles apart, spreading her legs a little further, opening his favourite view in the world while he hurried to free himself. God, he never tired of eyeing her so ready, wet, and frantic for him.

Arching her back, (y/n) waited for what she craved, smiling tipsily when she heard the gentle, unmistakable jingle of his belt buckle as Ray shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs - just enough to free himself. He took his rigid length into his hand, pumping the achingly hard flesh with a groan as he guided the tip to her blazing cunt, sliding it through her folds.

A moan left her lips at the sensation, mewling when he rubbed himself against her clit to cover himself in slick.

He couldn't help but grunt at the relief of fisting his cock, staring at her pretty cunt as it fluttered and clenched around nothing in anticipation. It was tempting to keep going, fuck himself to the biggest walking turn-on he'd ever seen. Still, Ray stopped himself, curling his forefinger and thumb around the base of his cock to will himself to calm down.

"Fuckin' take it..." he growled lowly as he guided himself down to her entrance and pushed in, hissing when he felt that all-too-familiar tightness engulf his cock.

Like always, there was some slight resistance, willing to force him back out until he surged forward, parting her walls as (y/n) wailed. The thickness was heavenly, making her jaw go slack and eyes flutter shut when his groin pressed against her ass, fully sheathed inside his sweet girl. She clenched around him, now sucking him in, squeezing him tightly like nothing he'd ever felt before, and it felt like coming home.

"Oh, pretty girl, you feel so good."

"Don't make me wait, Ray..." (y/n) whimpered, planting her feet a little further apart to give him more room, enticing him to start moving. Slick was dripping down her thighs at this point, allowing her lover to inch a little deeper, but he wasn't particularly fussed.

He held her hips flush against his whilst he ran kisses from the edge of her shoulder to her neck, panting harshly and trying to reign in his desire - she'd never believe his lack of control when he had his wife in his arms.

"Keep those pretty eyes on the city. Leave me to my husbandly duties," Ray muttered against her throat with a smirk, gently sucking and nipping on her skin as he began to pull and push into her.

They groaned together at the friction, clawing hands leaving greasy streaks down the window pane as his cock dragged against her walls, providing sweet relief. Starting off slow, the man hummed lowly in his throat as he steadily coated himself in her, rubbing her hips as he tried not to get too excited. He felt so deep inside her from this angle, marvelling at the sight of her bare flesh and the moans she made.

"Fuck--harder--" She pleaded whinily, wiggling her hips to try and force herself back onto him, taking matters into her own hands. The slow, gentle, shallow thrusts were pathetic and maddening, barely enough to satisfy the ache deep within her.

She needed the rough, brutal pace only he could give her, but Ray stopped her movements, holding her waist, when his mouth suddenly appeared next to her ear, hot and harsh.

"I said, look outside. Don't waste this view," he spat, a large hand shooting up to cup his chin and force her to turn to Paris again - like she could concentrate on anything but him. "And I'll look at this one."

With his sweet girl staring blankly at the warm, twinkling lights and traffic-heavy roads, the hero pawed at her body and took a step back to admire her. He'd swear on the book that he'd never seen anything so beautiful in all his born days, trailing his gaze from her naked back and shoulders to the reflection of her breasts in the glass to her hips and the delicious crease between her thighs.

God, he could stare at it all day, licking his lips as he studied every minute detail of how stuffed her cunt looked with his cock crammed inside. She took him so well, stretched and drenched around him, piecing a sinful picture together in his head, which he tucked away for a rainy day.

His hands kneaded her ass, parting her cheeks to see the puckered hole that only he knew - a vulgar secret and privilege he'd never take for granted. Although, perhaps he'd take it later on when he'd fucked her pussy numb.

"Feels so good, Captain," (y/n) gasped, glueing her eyes to the skyline as her husband moved again, finding a rough, sweet pace that had them slumping against the window like rutting animals.

"I know, darlin'. Shit, your pussy feels so good," he groaned from above, belt buckle jingling with every movement of his hips. His skin was blazing, still dressed from head to toe, but it only inspired liquid fire in the heroine's veins; glancing down to her right to see his biceps in that black muscle shirt.

Her pussy fluttered at the image conjured in her head: sweat clinging to his skin, strands of hair falling from his gelled quiff, the trail of hair down his navel peeking out from the hem of that stupidly hot shirt from where he'd shoved his jeans down those toned thighs.

She just knew he looked like sin and heaven and everything she needed for another gush of slick to run down her thighs, making her lover snarl and smirk.

"You fuckin' love this, don't you?" He chuckled, resting his forearm on the window as he snapped his cock into her harder, nosing her cheek as (y/n) struggled to breathe--see--think, let alone speak.

"Wha--?"

"Anyone could look up now and see you, and you don't give a shit. These pretty fuckin' tits are on show for the world, but you're mine, aren't you?" Ray growled, releasing her iron grip on her pelvis to gather a fistful of hair, bringing her head back towards his.

He'd never hurt her; a gentleness in everything he did, even when he slapped and pinched at her stiff nipples - moans falling from her lips with every tweak and tug. Something green, dark, and ugly rose within him when he thought about someone else seeing her like this, bare and beautiful, which should've been for his eyes only, but it merely made him fuck harder.

Anyone would look up and see him fucking her, his touch making her cry in ecstasy, his ring on her finger.

"Yes--sh-shit, yes!" She nodded weakly, a thrum of pleasure passing through her as her doofus wrapped himself around her, her bare back to his fully clothed front.

"You love this--can feel your cunt squeezing me, dirty little girl."

"'M all yours, Ray. Love how you f-fuck me," the woman stuttered, practically drooling down the glass as he continued ploughing her pussy, bringing forth the release she needed so badly. "God, I wanna cum..."

"Yeah? Wanna cream all over my cock?" Ray cooed with an evil, shit-eating grin as he snaked his hand down to her woefully neglected clit. He'd left it alone for far too long, leaving it exposed and throbbing in the cool air until his fingers began their assault.

"Let me cum! P-Please, I need--I need--I--" (y/n) shrieked at the sensation, lurching forward as he rubbed rapid circles against her most sensitive spot, electrifying her every nerve end.

Her tongue felt clumsy and too big for her mouth. It barely wrapped around each word as she gabbled and babbled like an idiot, feeble and pliant like putty for her doofus.

"Fuck, you can't get enough. This little pussy needs filling every fucking day..." Ray muttered to himself, memories of their previous encounters coming to mind as he fluidly pumped into her, never failing in his rhythm.

Before their flight, she'd begged him to fuck her into their mattress, accidentally nudging their suitcase onto the bedroom floor after he accosted her while packing. Maybe that was hours ago, and perhaps they'd had a quick fumble in the plane toilet, but God, if she was insatiable, he was ravenous. And he'd never, ever say no.

"I'll give you what you need, precious girl--I'll always take care of you..." He mumbled, lapping at her neckline as he played her every weak spot,

"So, cum for me...Let go, sweet girl. Let me feel you...""

It ripped through her on his word, pulsating around his cock as Ray groaned, willing himself to thrust through it, crowding her against the window until he had her tits pressed against them. He kept circling her clit, whispering sweet, filthy nothings in her ears as her fingers clenched and cunt twitched. Soak me...get this pussy ready for me...fuck, I know what you need.

"Shit--Ray!" (y/n) screeched, writhing in his arms when he didn't stop. His thrusts were frantic and fast, balls slapping against his ass as Ray groaned.

He couldn't help it; maybe it was the romantic setting, the thrill of exhibitionism, or the temptation of another round on the bed, but something told him to claim her now. He felt wound up like a coil, endlessly needy and in love with his perfect wife as she became even slicker around him.

He'd undoubtedly make it up to her - in no way planning for the night to end so early. This was only the first round, and he planned to stay inside her all night, to make her see stars with orgasm after orgasm until she didn't know what planet she was on, but first, Ray needed his release.

The sensation of his pretty girl coming around him was convincing enough; it had been hours since he came inside her, and something inside him itched.

It was a peculiar feeling, one he'd never felt in his life until he met and wedded her. The thought of painting her insides with his cum made his thoughts go black, replacing them with deep, carnal desires to see her swell and grow, all because of him. He'd make her grow and change, and fuck, the outcome... He knew she said to wait, but fuck if it didn't excite him, just the thought of giving her a ba--

"Gonna fill you up, sweet girl..." the man choked out, stepping closer until (y/n)'s entire body was pressed against the window, rutting against her ass and a sensitive spot inside her in tiny, grinding thrusts. He felt it getting closer, scolding himself for not lasting.

But her pussy was incredible, stealing his resolve as he curled his arms and brought her into a tight embrace.

"Yeah? Gonna cum inside me, doofus?" She whispered, grinning dopily, still riding her high when she turned to look at him over her shoulder. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he seemed effortlessly handsome as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, panting hard.

"Fuck, yeah..." Ray nodded feverishly, eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he kneaded her tits and tummy, not knowing where to touch, "Gonna stuff this pussy and then--shit--I'll--"

"What, doofus? What do you want? I'll do whatever you want..." His wife asked softly, rocking backwards on the balls of her feet to meet his thrusts, adding a little extra bite to the pleasure that coursed through them. The glass had fogged up, and if any sightseer looked up now, they'd doubtlessly know what was going on, but neither cared.

Everything built up slowly and quickly at once, pushing them further together until the lines of reality blurred with delight, making Ray throw his head back and howl. He returned to her clit, keeping his arms tightly around her frame--like he couldn't bear to let her go, not when the end was so near.

"That's my good girl," he growled, smooching her cheek loudly as he raced through a million daydreams - all of them filthy. On the bed, on the dresser, the vanity table, seeing her on her knees, parting her thighs and diving in, bending her over and pounding her needy little hole until the sun came up.

"I'll eat you out after this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let me have a taste. Let you cum on my face, and then, I'll fuck you again and again," the hero rambled on, sinking further and further into his desire, getting off on everything he wanted to do to her.

"Ray..." And it seemed she wanted it, too. She bent her back, arching into his touch as they fucked harder and harder, chasing their highs. The extra stimulation of her clit brought (y/n) to another peak, tilting her head back against his shoulder, and Ray knew she was his to drain for pleasure.

"Not letting you go tonight, darlin'," he promised against her temple, hot breath rolling across her face as his pace became uneven yet snappier. "I want to have you all night."

"Cum for me, then, doof. Fill me up," (y/n) coaxed, finding his hand on her breath and threading her fingers through it, holding it over her heart as she whispered the sweetest words of the night. "I'll let you fuck my ass."

It ended him. A harsh gasp ripped from the man as his hips pressed into hers as far as possible. Warmth spread inside the heroine as he stilled, saying nothing but rushed mumblings of her name and small groans, holding his sweet girl as tight as he could. She came second, milking him in gentle waves, mewling softly as he painted her insides before all of Paris.

Strong arms - those bulking biceps - held her safe, cooling their blazing, sticky bodies against the steamy window, refusing to pull out since his pearly load was so precious. It felt right to keep it inside her - it scratched the itch, and even though he knew they shouldn't, it didn't mean he couldn't dream.

Just knowing she was full to the brim with his cum, knowing one day he'd have the satisfaction of seeing her swell, was enough. For now.

"Oh, fuck, Ray..." (y/n) sighed once they slumped against the window, fingers cupping her breasts and gently squeezing - more of a comfort thing than sensual.

He rested his chin on her shoulder, sighing deeply as she leaned her weight back on him at his gentle touch, humming in mild discontent when she realised he was still wearing clothes. Admittedly, very hot clothes that made him look like some kind of God, but still. She wanted the intimacy of skin-on-skin, but that would be in a bit - once they had a breather.

"Good? He asked, kissing her shoulder, and he felt the weight of her flesh in his hands. He'd never seen someone so beautiful, utterly besotted.

"Good," she confirmed breathlessly with a delicate smile, reaching behind her to bring his face to hers. They shared a brief kiss, so soft compared to when he ploughed her senseless. "So good."

"Good," Ray smiled, squeezing her body before gazing at the skyline, all doe-eyed and gooey inside. The night sky was stunning, the warm glow of the lights even more so, but his sweet girl? She was everything he ever wanted and needed, looking so perfect with his softening cock still deep inside her.

"I'm yours, too, y'know..." he muttered after a few moments of silence, "I want you to be mine so bad, darlin', but I'm yours too. You've got me--forever."

"I know, Ray. I love you, too," (y/n) sighed, rubbing her hand over his, grinning when she heard the slight chink of their wedding rings bumping together.

To say she was glowing was an understatement; she was safe, happy, and warm with her husband, even if she realised post-entanglement that they'd played a risky game - fun but scandalous.

"Can't believe we just fucked in front of the most famous city in the world."

"I'm hearing no complaints...In fact, you begged for it. Screamed," Ray grinned, and upon hearing the smirk in his voice, (y/n) whacked his shoulder, albeit with warm cheeks and a grin of her own.

Perhaps that was true, but people in glass houses... He made himself sound like such a prude. Yet, really, he was the horniest man she'd ever met, and the one with his pants hanging around his knees because he'd been so desperate - the one who'd still not yet pulled out because he was hoping to get lucky again.

"Only because you seduced me! Like you did before we left home and were on the plane. You're a bad influence, you big doofus." She giggled, gasping slightly when their bodies moved, making his cock drag against her walls.

It wasn't the best argument, given how her eyes fluttered closed, biting her lip in what Ray saw as an utterly seductive move. Was she trying to make him want her? Because it was working, he whispered hotly against her ear, suddenly serious and baritone, his voice as smooth as a rich, dark chocolate.

"Can't a man make love to his wife?"

"Against a window for the world to see?" (y/n) gulped when he tweaked her nipples again, sending all-too-familiar shockwaves down her spine as her sensitive core tingled. Ray was silent and simply leaned forward for a filthy kiss - all tongue and teeth as he planned his next move. What was that offer she made again?

His eyes glanced down to where their bodies connected, feeling himself harden inside her again when he observed the deliciously slick flesh engulfing his cock. Only he had a different goal, pulling out of her entirely to a chorus of petulant whines as he drifted north.

He'd give the city a show, wanting his precious wife ruined and speechless by the end of the night. It started when he pressed himself into her tight passage, turning whimpers into wails and gasps as he whispered...

"Well, when in Paris, sweetheart..."

*je suis sweating after that, mon amors. mais oui, mais oui ray wants his baby so bad (and I do too but not yet ruth.)

children, open les peepers and let's go forth. we've got some weird mime shit to get through and endless bits of pda from our doofus and sweet girl.

allon-sy! (said the 10th--or 14th???--doctor).

~The next morning~

The team rose bright and early, donning their uniforms before heading to a quirky cafe in downtown Paris.

Everything was so French, unsurprisingly, with freshly baked bread, croissants and coffee for breakfast, walking down the street to the sound of an accordion. Of course, Ray and (y/n) went hand-in-hand, wearing matching lightweight, waterproof jackets for the cool morning air, and they adored the city of love.

It screamed them, strolling with enamoured smiles as the kids trailed behind them, chatting about the thrill of being in a foreign country. Bose was a little quiet, but (y/n) supposed it could be jet lag, and her doofus had already swept her into a passionate kiss before she could think about it further.

She entered the cafe first, ears warming when Ray opened the door for her like a true gentleman, even if he left Danger Force to fend for themselves. He strolled in like he owned the place, looking ridiculously handsome in his Captain Man costume.

He faced a hoity-toity old lady with a sour expression and an alarmingly bright red jacket, tie, and crisp white shirt - her name was Marie, and she had the joy of being their host.

"All right, everybody! Calm down! America's here!" Captain Man announced as he walked toward the woman and unzipped his jacket. Miss Danger gestured for the children to come closer. She was willing to let her husband do most of the talking since only he could saunter around with that level of nonchalant confidence.

"All right, first things first, I got a couple'a great jokes about French people, so let's dive right in. How many French people does it take to surrender to--" Or perhaps not.

"Okay, doofus, we're not gonna go there!" (y/n) shouted above his voice, jumping forward to push him away before he could say anything offensive. They'd not even been there for twenty seconds, and he'd already scandalised his host, etching a deep frown on her face - some things were still too raw to talk about.

"Je suis de le mond désolé pour lui," Mika crooned to the woman with her sweetest smile, hoping to smooth things over as her friend gave the hero a stern look.

She'd sat with them on the plane, and when they didn't sneak off to the bathroom together - which was obvious to her - she'd had a few French lessons from (y/n). Not much, just enough for the average tourist, but Marie looked at her like she'd grown a second head when she put it into practice.

"I'm sorry. I do not understand," the older woman replied in a thick, French accent, making the group's Smarties frown.

"But she was speaking French," (y/n) pointed out, coming up from behind Mika to gently place her hands on the girl's shoulders. Ray's soft eyes followed her every move, but he smirked at his young sidekick, ready to deploy his smug face.

"But no! French is just English with a very ridiculous accent!"

"See? I'm right about everything," he told Mika arrogantly when she turned to him with that stupid and annoying face. Marie was nice enough, but that couldn't be right...and she desperately wanted to smack him.

"Oh, doofus..." (y/n) sighed and shook her head at him, but as always, she couldn't help but smile and peck his cheek.

Ray was just too adorable to her when he looked at her with that dopey grin, sliding his arm around her waist as Mika rolled her eyes. Deep down, he knew she was right, glaring at the French woman for being so ridiculed.

"This place kinda looks like Hip Hop Purée," Chapa mentioned as she wandered around the café, noting the similarities.

The counter was in the same place with all the snacks and drinks, the logo on the wall was similar, and the decor screamed modern American culture. Save for the random memorabilia and displays around the room and the name difference with Paris, the heroes felt at home - almost as if they hadn't gone transatlantic.

"But of course! We want you to feel at home while you guard our national treasures," Marie replied, dramatically gesturing around the room with elegant sweeps of her arms.

"Well, I guess somebody has to," Ray retorted as the woman moved to the priceless artefacts they had to protect. His gaze slid to the only other Parisian in the room, glaring harshly at the blond, garlicky man as he spun around in an ergonomic chair and sipped an espresso with an unbothered, clueless smile. "Since Monsieur Man over there is on strike."

"That is correct. I will not fight crime until someone buys me a pretty pink motorcycle," he replied defiantly, looking almost ridiculous in his copycat uniform. (y/n) had heard how he was popular with the ladies, sharing many characteristics with Captain Man, except he hadn't found a sweet girl of his own yet. She supposed he was handsome somehow, but he had nothing on her husband.

"I'm sick of taking the subway! I want to drive around and say, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man!"

"Okay..." Was all Chapa had to say, reacting to his cheery explanation with a flat, bored expression--almost a look of repulsion. She wasn't impressed, wondering why she had to travel thousands of miles for the whims of some spoilt little French boy.

"What are we guarding here?" (y/n) asked, turning to Marie to refocus the group. Still, when she saw the items the hostess had gathered, she wouldn't exactly call them treasures.

"Only the most important treasure in all of France," she said proudly, gazing at the weirdest collection of knickknacks they'd ever seen.

"Napoleon's pants..." She held up the so-called antique, and everyone wrinkled their noses. The garments were pinned to a board for preservation and were tiny as if they belonged to a child. They'd yellowed with age, looking disgustingly old, wrinkled, and manky as she held them to the light.

"The first French bread ever baked..." She gently picked up the long, stick-like baguette like it was made of glass, but dear God, the smell.

The bread had to be decades old and had turned a dark shade of green due to a cakey layer of mould. It was enough to make anyone sick to the stomach, and (y/n) nuzzled against Ray's chest, subtly inhaling his fragrant cologne and not the musky stench from the bread.

"And finally, the original helmets of music superstars, the Daft Punk." She smiled at the futuristic helmets, which made everyone genuinely smile. They could be considered true treasures - part of music history, even if they weren't precisely to Ray's taste.

"Ah...I definitely know who Daft Punk is because I'm cool, and I know cool things," the man commented flatly as he stared at the helmets. Yet, nothing came to mind, not even when the kids cheered and gasped with excitement. Even his sweet girl grinned with awed eyes, her hand clamped over her mouth.

"Really, doofus? I wouldn't have thought they were your thing..." (y/n) frowned confusedly as she squeezed his beefy arm to her body. She knew everything about him, from the colour of his underpants to his childhood imaginary friend to his favourite baby name. This was news to her.

"Name any of their songs," Mika dared him, making the hero freeze, not that he showed it. He couldn't care less about this Daft Punk, but he played it off well, keeping his expression stern and focused as he ignored her.

"There's no time!" He shouted dramatically before snapping his gaze to Chapa. "Volt! Let's get an inventory of those weapons before any of these cheese-eaters try to steal my favourite band's helmets or whatever."

"Uh, we got a problem, Cap..." The girl said slowly as (y/n) glanced at her lover suspiciously, only to look even more perturbed when she heard that. Those weapons were all they had; problems weren't what they needed when they'd left everything else at home.

"We took the wrong bag," she revealed, snatching a familiar item from the gym bag.

Ray scoffed at that doohickey of Bose's creation, his little windmill of angry faces. He hated that thing, but unfortunately, they'd mistaken the proper weapon bag for the identical junk sack, and he growled when he yanked out another bizarrely useless item - a tangled, brightly coloured, shaggy slinky.

"Aw, what? Care to explain this, buddy?" He asked the kid harshly, stomping over with the slinky in hand to where Bose had been deathly silent, keeping himself to himself in a shady corner. It was weird; he was typically so outgoing, but he had barely said a word since they'd left Swellview, and even when his boss snapped, he didn't turn around.

"I can't because I am the dumb one," he replied quietly, sounding like he'd gone swimming in a brewery, slurring his words in a funny voice. His jacket said BrainStorm, but (y/n) narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Bose, honey..." she called out to him, reaching to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. The poor kid sounded like he had the world's worst cold, but as Ray threw the springy tangle into a corner, a sour smell assaulted his nose, a shiver ran down his spine...a deep, instinctive yearning settled in his gut.

"Ew...did someone science in here?!" He questioned in a disgusted tone with a wrinkled face, glancing at his sweet girl and the kids.

"Don't luck at me, doofus! I only do math when you're around to drool..." (y/n) exclaimed as she and Mika held their hands up in defence. They were The Smarties but had barely had enough time to sleep, let alone flex their brains, so it didn't make sense. That is until Ray's nose pointed him somewhere else.

"Wait a minute," he muttered, squinting at Bose's figure. His superhero senses told him something was wrong, especially when he noticed how the boy refused to look at him and how short he seemed to be--a little too shifty.

So, he yanked the hood down, revealing those familiar sickly brown locks and a pair of dark sunglasses. He quickly ripped from his stunned face, and there were a pair of irritatingly familiar, wide, brown eyes locked onto his.

"Schwoz! Dang it!" Ray snapped upon seeing the genius through his cunning disguise, making the others gasp in horror, too. "I thought I told you to stay home, you little nerd!"

Schwoz didn't even need to think about his next move. He'd been busted, and now that the cat was out of the bag, he felt no loyalty to Ray. There was no need to keep up this façade, not when he had a personal mission to complete, so he threw the hero and his sidekicks an anguished glance before bolting for the door.

"I want to find looooooove!"

"Wait...if that was Schwoz...then where's...?" Mika pondered as she stared thoughtfully at Chapa, who was stunned speechless by the handyman's devious actions and dramatic exit.

"Kevin!" Ray screeched in horror, his face a picture of panic when he realised the worst. The thought was there, but come on...

"Um, doofus, you mean, Bose?" (y/n) corrected in a whisper as she hovered by his elbow. She was equally terrified at the heart-stopping thought of accidentally leaving one of her babies in the Nest. Still, she couldn't help but frown when her husband got his name wrong - after so many weeks, if not months, of knowing him.

"I mean--Bose!--I mean, BrainStorm!" He exclaimed dramatically when he realised he lacked his wife's tact, shouting the boy's name when it should've barely been a whisper.

But he got there in the end, and the couple gawped at each other in a state of pure panic; this was the first time they'd forgotten a child in the many years of having them, and it felt like they'd lost a limb. They felt sick to their stomachs, foreheads clammy and fingers trembling as (y/n) slowly shuffled into his embrace, picturing the poor kid alone in the Man's Nest. It broke her heart, and all she could think was how it was her fault.

You didn't check. You should've noticed. You will be responsible if he gets hurt. Her brain always picked the right moments to be so helpful.

"You guys, what happened to Bose?" Chapa asked angrily, breaking them out of their self-loathing. She was aloof and insensitive, but deep down, she cared about her friends--especially the ones who could barely tell a goldfish from a grenade.

"Did we leave him at home?"

"Alone?" Miles gasped, snapping his gaze to his teachers as they gulped.

"Yes! Oh, God...we left BrainStorm at home! Oh, my baby..." (y/n) whimpered, feeling truly awful as she hugged herself. Ray tried to comfort her, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he mournfully stared at the floor before pecking her hair.

"He's my favourite one!" He nodded, not that it helped. The others looked at him offendedly, although Chapa could understand why. Still, (y/n) slapped his chest and tried not to smile or show any sign of approval because that would be wrong. Very wrong.

"Captain Man! We don't have favourites!" She told him firmly, flashing the children a wobbly but sincere smile since she loved them all for unique reasons, but that wasn't important whilst she sunk further into her sadness.

"But poor Bosey...he's probably scared and cold and hungry and tired, and oh, God! Doofus!"

"I know, sweet girl. I know..." Ray sniffled, holding her painfully contorted face against his chest when her rambling turned into anguished, strangled cries. He couldn't bear to see her sad but knew her pain, feeling responsible and guilty despite not showing it; deep down, he cared, and it was enough to bring tears to his eyes, too.

They could picture it now: he'd be tucked up in a corner of their home, not knowing how to find the kitchen or turn up the thermostat. He wouldn't have gotten any sleep, too afraid of the dark and the monsters that could lurk in it since he didn't do well alone. The poor kid must've been terrified, and it was impossible to help him--possibly days before they could go home.

He didn't show it often, but Captain Man would move mountains for his sidekicks, so it mildly shocked them to see him so distraught. The man resorted to squeezing his beloved wife in His embrace, manically petting her soft hair as she fanned her eyes, refusing to show fear in front of her other babies, but they wouldn't stop.

"Somebody call my baby Bose...My poor baby," she whimpered, feeling a little pathetic, but luckily, Mika swiftly fished the PearPhone from her pocket. She had Bose on speed dial, clicking his contact and holding the cell to her ear as the dialling tone beeped.

"Relax, (y/n/n)...I'm calling him."

"It won't work!" A cruel, mocking laugh came from the corner - more like a sneer. Miss Danger flashed her most vicious glare at its owner, wishing she could burn holes in Monsieur Man's head as he sat there, perfectly content and carefree, whilst her world was in chaos.

"Listen here, Pepé Le Pew..." she growled, so ready to sink her claws into him that Ray had to encircle his arms around her waist to keep her at bay, only for another annoying froggy accent to reach her ears.

"The cell phone service you are using, ATandOui, is on strike."

"The whole country is on strike," the French hero explained, coolly sipping his espresso as Ray tried the number to no avail. "They all strike for Monsieur Man. Ha, ha!"

"Okay, that's it! I'm gonna rip his head off. See if he's still smirking then." (y/n) lunged for the man, hoping to at least gouge an eye out or break his nose, but Ray was too swift and strong. He kept her snuggly in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear to drown out Monsieur Man's victorious huff. She was better than that, even if her babies' safety could make her ferocious.

"If only we had someone who could teleport back home..." Miles suggested dryly, giving the woman a bemused yet tender look, making her ears warm.

"Au revoir, Frenchies," the boy sassed before jerking his arm in the air, disappearing in a flash of golden light. Surprisingly, he didn't reappear half a centimetre to the left or an inch to the right, so Ray and (y/n) assumed he'd returned to the Man's Nest - a much-needed reassurance.

"Nice! One of your superpowers actually worked... Lookin' at you, ShoutOut," the handsome man remarked, which earned a few eye rolls from the girls, but at least his wife perked up, and he was relieved to see her smiling again.

"Wow, you're really gonna go there?" Mika growled, a little hurt, but she had the last laugh when (y/n) reprimanded her doofus like a mother berating her child.

A gentle tug on his earlobe told him to behave, and he begrudgingly apologised to the girl, earning himself a soft kiss. They leaned in, needing a little sweetness after so much distress, but just when their lips were about to touch...

"What are you doing?!"

"Get out of here!" Two disgusted, ladylike voices suddenly bellowed from the female toilets at the back of the café, and a mortified figure burst through the door. It was Miles, who covered his blazingly hot face with his hands after seeing...things. He'd be scarred for life, but nothing was more humiliating than an utter failure.

"Okay, if anyone else is curious, that is the ladies' room," he said meekly as his friends stared at him, making the girls cringe. Nothing was worse than stumbling into a place where you couldn't be less wanted, and he'd really taken one for the team there.

"Anybody else got any ideas?!" Ray asked sternly, still worried and now pissed off since he'd missed a kiss from his sweet girl. And he really needed that kiss.

"I've got an idea!" Monsieur Man called from his cosy corner, ignoring Miss Danger's frosty glances. She'd warm up to him eventually - all women did - so he couldn't help but smile when she rolled her eyes and snarled.

"Merci, but we're good."

"Ah, but mon chéri..." the Parisian hero crooned smoothly with a blinding smile, a little too flirtatious for Ray's liking, as he stiffened and stood closer to her. But Monsieur Man was harmless, shifting his gaze behind them, finding something hilarious as everyone stared at him.

"Why don't you stop that mime from stealing the baguette?" He suggested playfully, pointing to where a sneaky criminal had slipped past Captain Man's razor-sharp senses and swiped the mouldy bread.

The heroes turned around to see the bizarre man creeping away most ridiculously. He was a classic mime, his face painted a ghastly white with exaggerated features. At the same time, he wore a black beret, white gloves, a monochrome striped shirt, braces, and black breeches.

Watching him was funny as he kicked his feet out with every step, the baguette raised high above his head, but despite the cutesy act, a criminal was still a criminal.

"Freeze!" Ray ordered after getting over his initial shock, and the mime immediately stopped...and began shivering?

"Oh, freeze! Like he's cold... That's kinda good," (y/n) giggled as she watched the silly man tremble like he was stuck on an arctic tundra. It even broke a smile on Ray's face, laughing with the kids when the actor hugged the baguette close and chuckled, too.

"All right, take it. You've earned the bread..." Ray sighed--so impressed with his quick wit and improvisation that he didn't have the heart to chase after the criminal. But that wasn't the point, much to his sidekicks' disgust and fury.

"No!"

"That's stealing!"

"He's getting away!" Mika and Miles exclaimed, wildly gesturing to the mime, who prepared to make a swift if overacted, exit. Luckily, Chapa had the brains to guard the door, blocking his path with the deadliest weapon in their arsenal - The Mean Wheel.

And surprisingly, it worked. One flash of Bose's grumpy face and the mime cowered away, holding his hands up in surrender with little fight left to flee.

"I guess it works!" The girl declared happily, expecting an epic brawl, but maybe Bose was onto something. It gave Ray enough time to grab the guy by his collar, yanking him back into the store.

"Well, sometimes, you just--" he grunted, pulling his detainee back with a mighty jerk as he jogged on the spot, "--y'know, get lucky."

"That's a Daft Punk song..." Miles pointed out, but he wasn't surprised when a blank expression passed over the hero's face.

"I know it is. Thank you," he scoffed casually, even though no one was fooled by his bluff.

Ray had to save face, not only for the civilians and so-called heroes watching but for his sweet girl, who shook her head in amusement as she kept her eyes trained on the mime. She didn't trust them - something about how they didn't speak made her nervous.

"Then sing it," Chapa taunted, smirking underneath her poker face. Everyone knew the man couldn't resist a challenge, and it was a battle of wills as he pondered his next move.

"Too expensive..." he answered vaguely before quickly dropping his gaze to the surly mime, clenching his fist around his collar in case he tried to escape.

He didn't trust them either, snapping his fingers for Mika to bring him a chair. The girl gently placed it in the middle of the floor, unaware of his plan.

She was shocked to see how roughly her teacher shoved the poor man onto the seat, nearly pushing him onto the floor as a melancholy pout made his bottom lip wobble. It was even more alarming to watch Miss Danger loom over him, an uncharacteristically aggressive glint in her eye as she studied the mime's pasty face, unnerving him for some weird reason.

She knew they had to question him about why he targeted the national treasures, but did they have to be so...mean?

"Talk!" Ray bellowed, making the actor flinch at his loud tone. Still, he said nothing - just collected himself and returned to sitting prettily.

"I said talk! Tell me where your friends are!"

"He's a mime. They don't talk!" Mika told him exasperatedly, knowing he could shout all day but never get through. (y/n) usually told him stuff like that, but she was weirdly silent for some reason, observing the mime broodingly.

"They also don't have friends," her brother jokingly added, which to most people would be true. Mimes were socially celebrated, perhaps a little nerdy and weird in most circles, but the couple knew better. Oh, they knew things the children would never believe. Things that would scar their innocent minds.

"Oh, he's got friends!"

"Guys, he's a mime. They live in hives, so when you see one, there's always a mime hive nearby," the heroine explained, much to the children's confusion. They looked at her like she was crazy, not missing how antsy Ray was.

"I expect this from Captain Man, but not you, M-D. Are you thinking of bees?" Chapa asked dryly, unable to believe such outlandish, childish nonsense.

"No! We're not making this up!" (y/n) exclaimed indignantly, clinging to her husband's arm as he frantically looked around for this so-called hive. "Mimes work together, they live in hives, and they protect their Mime Queen at all costs! Trust us!"

"I do not trust you..." Miles replied slowly, staring at the couple warily. He couldn't trust them, not when she spouted such nonsense, and he fondled any bit of flesh he could reach. Still, Ray didn't need their faith, nor did he seek their permission, returning to glare at the mime and bark his orders.

"Talk! Tell me where your hive is!"

"He's not gonna talk!" Mika yelled back, wondering when the man would learn, not that he'd listen.

"We'll see about that..." Ray growled before reaching for his belt, fingers fumbling angrily as he searched for his laser remote. In his experience, although unpleasant, a little pain and zapping here and there often loosened a criminal's lips. Even if the children disapproved, he shot a few orange bolts at the mime's shoulder, searing his skin a little - not enough to scar, but just enough to make him yelp.

"Talk! Talk! Talk!" He snapped, zapping the guy three times until the mime clutched at his chest, a mournful expression turning his face sour. He was an excellent actor and didn't break character through the mild torture.

"Okay, this guy's good! He's gotten me twice so far. I say we just let him have the bread, you guys."

"No!"

"Stop!" The children groaned as the hero stopped his interrogation and smiled cheesily. That's what the crook wanted--to lure them into a false sense of security, but they knew better. Plus, the bread wasn't theirs to give away like some two-cent fairground prize.

"Doofus, our job is to protect the bread, not give it to the first person who smiles at you!" His sweet girl said, chastising him, but Ray just whined like a little kid.

"But he wants it! Look, he's hungry!" He said petulantly, grinning as their captive pretended to tuck a handkerchief into his collar, rubbing his tummy like he'd not eaten in a week. The man felt sympathy for him yet failed to realise that the mime could just go to the bakery and buy fresh, non-mouldy bread.

"Well, he can go and whistle for it 'cause he's not getting a single crumb!"

"He's got a little bib going..." Ray sighed, amusedly watching the mime's antics even as his beloved wife scolded him. He was in a world of his own, absentmindedly patting the small of her back as Mika groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Cap..." she called out, but his stare remained blank and vacant.

"CAAAAAPPPPP!" The girl said louder, her flat tone finally reaching him when (y/n) whacked his shoulder and flicked his ear. The man blinked a few times, turning to his wife with a slight pout since he didn't like being on her wrong side, but the annoying noise of Mika talking to him soured his mood.

"WHHHHHAAAAAAT?" He replied in the same monotone drone, flashing the whites of his eyes when they rolled back in disgust. Would they ever stop pestering him?

"Let's try something else," she suggested, gracefully brushing past his rudeness when her friends slapped him again. Giving her a grateful smile, she turned to the mime, studying him closely.

"Like what?"

"What if we just played along? Let's let him do his mime games, and maybe he'll like us and tell us something," The girl grinned hopefully, making her teachers exchange a thoughtful look. At least they were considering it.

"If he won't speak our language, let's try speaking his..." Her brother added pensively, circling the glum-looking mime as he gently placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. He agreed with her; he'd always been the hippie type, and it was much better than lasering the poor guy.

"Oh, no! I sure hope no one throws an imaginary rope around me!" Mika exclaimed in a weird voice, drawing puzzled frowns from her friends.

Her cheery, overly enthusiastic attitude wasn't natural. She sounded like she was on a TV commercial or as if she'd had a brain transplant, especially when she smiled like that - a little too brightly for sanity. It didn't impress Ray or Chapa, the latter of whom folded her arms and glared because it was stupid. There was no way she'd do that.

"What?" They said together flatly, but it worked on the mime. He perked up instantly, turning that frown upside down when he finally understood ShoutOut's meaning. Snapping his head in her direction, they smiled gently at each other, radiating hope, peace, rainbows, and everything else Chapa hated.

"Because then I'd have no choice but to get pulled in." That had the stripey-shirt-wearing man leaping excitedly, as giddy as a schoolboy, to join her little game. As Mika began to jovially run away, he expertly mimicked taking an imaginary rope from his imaginary belt before spinning it around his head like a lasso and tossing it in her direction.

"Oh no! I'm running away!" She announced in that fake voice before she was caught, arms glued to her sides like he'd tied her up. "He's got me!"

"He got you! He totally got you!" Ray exclaimed, happily pointing to the mime's antics as he began to pull the girl toward him in solid and dramatic tugs. Someone changed his tune quickly...

"Do me next! Do me! Rope me!"

"Doofus, watch out!" (y/n) gasped when he pushed past her, Miles, and Chapa, utterly charmed by the mime's innocent act.

It was a world away from how he'd threatened and assaulted him, jumping up and down with his hand above his head. He volunteered as tribute, ignorant to the tired, shaking heads behind him. Was this a good idea?

Ten minutes later, the mime had added to his posse.

He'd managed to rope - literally and figuratively - Mika, Ray, (y/n), and Miles, lashing them together with his invisible lasso. They didn't struggle, playing his little game with bright smiles and good sportsmanship - everyone except Chapa.

The moody girl refused to stoop so low, hovering on the sidelines with crossed arms and a joyless expression as she watched in disdain. She couldn't believe them, watching as they fell for its tricks one by one, huddling together until (y/n) was pressed against her husband's side and her fellow students were tucked under her arms. Utterly ridiculous.

""Uh-oh, we're tied up!" They exclaimed, clamouring loudly about how fun it was, how clever the mime was, and how they were finally getting through with him. All of which Chapa resented.

"Now, you gotta do Volt next!" She scowled at Ray's suggestion, throwing him a killer glare as she leaned against the door.

"Tie up, Volt!"

"Yeah, do Volt!" Their endlessly irritating cries came, and she huffed and puffed at how they encouraged the alabaster-faced criminal. It got worse when he flashed a saccharine grin and began to spin his invisible lasso above his head, intent on roping her into it.

"Nope. Not doing it," Chapa stated firmly, turning her nose up at the thought, even when they begged and pleaded.

"Come on! You're in Paris! Give in to the whimsy!" (y/n) said teasingly, feeling a muscular arm curling around her waist. She wasn't keen either but quickly found the fun in the mime's horseplay since it gave her a great excuse to stand closer than proprietary usually deemed acceptable to her doofus.

"Whimsy! Whimsy! Whimsy!" The Macklin twins chanted as Ray dipped his head to smooch his beloved wife's cheek.

He'd definitely succumbed to the whimsy, holding her tightly as the children caused their raucous. Glancing up from her soft skin and sweet-smelling hair, the man smiled when he saw Chapa budge an inch, slowly - very slowly - edging toward her friends in little jumps as she fought off a grin.

"She's moving! She's playing along!" He exclaimed, laughing when the girl finally gave in and showed that beautifully rare smile, side-stepping closer to them with every yank of the pretend rope. By the end of it, spurred on by the chant, she was entirely into it, leaping toward the group like no one was watching - even Chapa had a little child inside her who wanted to play.

"Man, I told you this guy was good!" Ray noted as she wiggled close to him, beaming at her teacher due to her good mood. It was a little disconcerting, but they went along with it, happily huddling together as the mime crept away. He had them right where he wanted them...

"That's it, case closed. He's gettin' the bread."

"He's not gonna get the bread, doofus," (y/n) giggled as she rested her cheek against his chest, so entranced with his handsomeness and the thumb stroking her hipbone that she didn't notice anything behind her.

It was just the chattering children, her, and her husband, who slowly reached down to kiss her gently - the best distraction.

"Ew, do you guys have to do that when you're so close to us?" Chapa grimaced, looking up from her excited conversation to see them locking lips. She could even practically feel the pleasured rumbling coming from the hero's chest and gagged when (y/n/n) cupped his cheeks happily - vomit-worthy.

"I think it's the romantic atmosphere. Do you see how he clung to her this morning when they left the--"

"Hold up!" Miles gasped, interrupting his sister's idealistic and romantic rambling, when he noticed something weird. While they'd been talking, kissing, and God knows what else, the mime had disappeared to rummage through their bag of useless weapons; only some of them weren't so useless.

"What's happening?"

"Uh, is this still part of his act?" (y/n) gulped nervously, feeling rather stupid as she separated from her lover to see how the mime had literally tied them up. Even though he'd used Bose's bizarre slinky, he'd wound it around their bodies tightly, forcing them together until he had a nice little bundle of superheroes under his control, stuck and helpless in the multicoloured tangle.

"Yeah, let him do it, sweet girl! Don't worry!" Ray reassured her, returning to focus his lips on her jawline since he wasn't worried. He could protect her immediately, although the mime was utterly harmless in his mind.

"I thought the whole thing with mimes is that they only pretend to do real things," Chapa noted, her happiness gone and replaced with her signature moodiness. But this time, it was justified, seething at the guy as he pulled the slinky tight, squeezing her abdomen uncomfortably. She knew this was a bad idea, but nooooo...

"No, the thing about mimes is they make invisible honey," Ray explained, not that it helped their nerves.

"Again, bees." Mika sighed, wondering how his imagination worked, but then, an obnoxious laugh broke her from her panicked thoughts. A very irritating, French-flavoured laugh from the man across the room.

"What are you laughing at, French fry?" (y/n) sneered as she turned to Monsieur Man, thoroughly irritated to learn that he'd witnessed their whole failure.

He stood in the doorway to the other side of the cafe, nursing yet another coffee as he watched bemusedly, highly entertained by how his American cousin floundered so spectacularly. But he didn't react to her sore-loser sourness, flashing her that charming smile again like he did with all the ladies and nodded toward the entrance.

With a small amount of strained effort, the group shuffled around to see what he was looking at, feeling faint when they faced a band of more merry mimes.

Ray gasped loudly when he countered three more pasty-faced men, one clutching Napoleon's pants as the other two flanked a lady mime.

She wasn't just any old weirdo, though, staring at them down her nose with pursed lips. There was something different about her than the others, not just the small accents of red in her outfit; above her white face and stencilled eyebrows, a pretty little crown sat nestled on her pinned-up hair, a symbol of authority in the mime world.

"It's more mimes!" Miles cried, suddenly feeling like a sitting duck as he accidentally elbowed Mika in the ribs when he jerked in surprise.

"They've come from their hive!" Ray growled, glad he'd taken his chance to wrap an arm around his sweet girl, protectively holding her against his chest. She turned in his arms to hold onto the kids, pulling Miles and Mika closer as she glared at the head mime, knowing she was as vicious as they came.

"Is that...a Mime Queen?" Mika gulped, leaning back into the woman for comfort as the Queen pretended to act something out, holding a blue plate with a slice of toast.

"And is she squirting invisible honey on a piece of toast?"

"Of course she is!" Captain Man exclaimed angrily, silently furious with himself for being duped so quickly when he knew their tricks so well. "I told you I'm right about everything!"

"Stop gloating, doof! They're...laughing at us..." (y/n) breathed out, her mouth dropping open when she indignantly watched all four mimes bent over, laughing their lungs out. They pointed and giggled, chuckled, chortled, and barked like a pack of hyenas, much to their anger.

But no matter how much the team struggled, growled, or begged, they couldn't get free. The slinky was surprisingly sturdy, so knotted and jumbled that the links couldn't be undone, even if Chapa bit it, if Ray puffed out his chest, if (y/n) yanked it, or if the twins tried to untie it. Watching them struggle, muttering curses and harsh words as they knocked against each other, was hilarious, and the mimes retreated to the corner to plot revenge.

With their enemies rendered useless, they turned to the Mime Queen for orders, hissing and giggling as they imagined all the fun of stealing the national treasures before their eyes.

"We gotta stop those mimes!" Chapa exclaimed as the others tugged her one way and tossed her another. And to make matters even better, Monsieur Man sat on the sidelines, chuckling at every slip-up they made.

"I'm trying. I'm just stuck!" Miles replied curtly, squirming against his friends and teachers to try and loosen their bonds, but it was no good. Bose was really ahead of the curve with that goddamn slinky.

"I can't believe this stupid thing actually works..." Ray mumbled to himself, furious that he had his sweet girl pressed against him, gyrating, and he couldn't do a damn thing. Not to mention that his young protégés were at risk like fish in a barrel, and to top it all off, that smug idiot was loving every second.

"...and stop laughing!"

"Stop being funny!" Monsieur Man shrugged, his shoulders shaking mirthfully, much to the other hero's fury.

It was too much for poor ShoutOut, who felt the pressure of every more than most - the mimes, that asshole, their infuriating bonds, the urge to protect the treasure, the reputation of her whole country on their shoulders. Succumbing to the stress, she released an almighty scream from deep within her diaphragm, reverberating so powerfully that it blew the door shut and knocked the mime squad over.

"It worked!" Mika gasped softly, shocked that she'd managed to activate her super-scream when it was typically so elusive.

"About time..." Ray muttered quietly, earning himself a sharp jab to his elbows from his wife.

The kids were slowly but surely getting better at their powers, which Miles proved when he wormed an arm free and managed to thrust it in the arm. He vanished from the huddle, and with his disappearance, the slinky loosened enough to drop to their feet. Now, the tables had turned.

"Hey! Nice job, AWOL!" Miss Danger exclaimed gleefully when she took her first unencumbered breath for the first time in fifteen minutes. The group immediately jumped apart, scared to be roped together again, even if the Mime Queen and her minions were still winded on the floor.

"Where'd he go?" Chapa asked, scouring the room for her teleporting friend, but he was nowhere to be seen. He could've gone anywhere in the world knowing the unreliability of his superpower. Still, there was no time for a debate.

The Mime Queen recovered from the minor attack relatively quickly, and her subjects followed when she got to her feet. She put up her fisticuffs, ready to battle the heroes to her last breath, glaring at them as they shook off the shock of Miles' teleporting.

"Who cares?! It's queen-punchin' time!" Ray barked, dancing on his toes like a boxer as he readied himself for a fight - and boy, he wanted to sink his teeth into it. (y/n) copied his movements, drawing her fists close to her face as the kids did the same, following his lead.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Ray bellowed his battle cry, brawny arm raised high above his head as he charged, desperate to pound the Queen into the ground. She met his attack with equal tenacity, leaping with the grace of a ballerina before she brought her fist down on his cheek.

The hero tumbled to the ground like a sack of potatoes, dazed by the brutal blow as the other mimes circled his sidekicks. They were efficient, keeping (y/n), Mika, and Chapa away from their boss as the Mime Queen beat him while he was down - not very sporting of her. She kicked and clawed at him, trying to squish his skull with the pointed heel of her boot, and it was more than Ray's job's worth to swiftly roll out of the way before he was jelly on the floorboards.

"Captain Man!" (y/n) called out worriedly, dodging the mime who tried to drag her around by her hair as she watched her beloved doofus rolling around to preserve his life. The woman was vicious, snarling with each foot stamp, but she had to trust him to care for himself.

Mika and Chapa relied on her expertise to keep the mimes at bay as they battled to protect the treasure. The former wrestled with one to retrieve Napoleon's pants while the latter worked with her teacher to throw another against the wall. Monsieur Man nearly spilt his espresso as the mime bashed against it with a groan.

Still, he was amused anyway, thinking Miss Danger looked very pretty in her uniform. He sighed contently as she held the mime by the throat, unabashedly slamming his head against the bricks as Chapa dusted her hands off.

Across the room, Ray had escaped the Mime Queen's clutches, taking his chance to swipe her feet out from under her. Luckily for his French cousin, he didn't see how his soft eyes followed her, wondering what it would be like to have a pretty assistant like her to fight by his side. And what a sight she made, tossing another mime into Chapa's hold, only to roughly throw him to the ground.

"Waaaaaah!" Mika shouted as she tried to activate her scream on her opponent as he whimpered on the floor, still refusing to release the pants. "Okay, this worked a few minutes ago!"

"Miss Danger, get over here and help me with the queen!" Ray yelled to his wife, making her anxiously dart from him to the children and the remaining artefacts on the counter. She'd fight by his side in a heartbeat, but a hand on her arm stopped her.

"What the--?"

"We have to secure the treasures!" ShoutOut implored, knowing they'd merely stupefied the miming minions. They'd only need a minute to recover and swipe the treasures again - Ray would surely be okay on his own.

"Who cares about the treasures? Give me my wife!" The man argued, ducking and weaving against the evil woman before him. "We gotta take out this queen before she lays any more eggs!"

"Eggs?!" Chapa gasped, having never heard anything so weird and grotesque.

She didn't want to know how that was possible, but she didn't have time to question it, watching when Ray tried to punch the Queen several times. He gave her a succession of swift, straight lefts and rights. Still, she miraculously evaded them, floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

"What?" He mumbled when she mimed, moving something out of the way, distracting him for a split second. It was long enough for her to whack him across the face, much to Monsieur Man's amusement, as he tumbled to the floor.

"Oh, shut up, you smug ass!" (y/n) growled at him before rushing over to her husband, unnecessarily worried, but she couldn't help it. "Doofus, are you all right?!"

"I'm fine, darlin'..." The hero swiftly reassured her with an enamoured smile, wiping his lip to chase away the fleeting pain before lightly gathering her in his arms. There was no time for more comfort, but it was enough to quell her worries until he picked up a smooth, pale object from behind the counter. Well, that was worrying, and he turned to Chapa with a stern frown.

"Eggs that hatch into mime larvae! Keep up!" He growled, his tone varying wildly from how he gently addressed his sweet girl as he brandished the disturbing egg at the girl.

The Mime Queen didn't take too kindly to her enemy holding one of her...children and angrily yanked it from his dirty mitts before kicking him in the guts. The brutal blow knocked the wind out of Ray, who grunted and panted as (y/n) turned a disgusted and shocked scowl at her. She didn't take too kindly to see her husband hurt.

"Hey!" She shouted, pointing an angry finger at the nonchalant Queen as Ray hunched over the counter. "No one kicks my doofus!"

In a daring, deadly charge, the heroine took everyone by surprise and tackled the Queen, pulling her to the ground for what could only be called a bitch fight. Straddling the woman's torso as she blinked up at the ceiling, she slapped her silly across the face, hoping to rearrange her pointed features or, at the very least, make it sting.

After pummelling her cheeks a little, she scrambled to her feet, dragging the Queen with her as the children watched with wide eyes and mouths. God...remind them never to threaten her husband. She was lethal, taking the lady mime by her collar and launching her over the counter without mercy - it was less than she deserved.

With the Mime Queen down, the mimes resumed their fight, brawling with the children as Ray straightened and rushed over to his breathless girl.

She couldn't be hotter in his eyes, worthy of a thousand kisses, not that the girls cared if they shared them now. Chapa was busy with her mime, trying to zap him with some electricity to retrieve the Daft Punk helmet. Still, he was too slippery, slapping her hand away at the last minute.

The scarlet lightning missed him and flew to Mika instead. Goddamn, it burned her skin like hellfire, pulling one of her ear-splitting screams from her throat, which luckily took down the mime. Unfortunately, as he tumbled, he crushed the precious helm, shattering it into a million billion shards.

It was neither Daft nor Punk, just fragments of something formerly great, making the kids cringe as the treasures fell through their fingers.

"Sorry!" ShoutOut exclaimed woefully as she stared at the ruined helmet, feeling endlessly guilty since the scream was unintentional - indeed an accident, but tell that to the people of France.

"It's okay..." her friend said breathlessly, more thankful for the rescue than the loss of the treasure.

Still, as she took a breather, Ray and (y/n) were plunged into the fray again as the Queen snuck up behind them, enacting her revenge by curling an arm around (y/n)'s throat. She had a little foresight, sensing the encroaching danger soon enough to jam a hand between them, but it was a barbaric attack.

"Can't...breathe..." she gasped, flailing against the Queen and the iron grip threatening to crush her windpipe. Ray was ready to kick the woman's head in, seeing red when his wife's eyes narrowed, fighting to free herself, but Chapa moved quicker.

Thinking on her feet, she grabbed the first weapon she saw - the beloved mouldy baguette that Marie loved so much. She didn't hesitate as she seized the slightly squishy yet stale French stick. She only saw the desperate need to free her friend as she stormed forward, brandishing the disgusting thing.

"All right, lady. Ba-guette wrecked!" She exclaimed, particularly proud of her sick quip as she cracked the bread over the Queen's shoulder, making her release the heroine and collapse.

Breathless, (y/n) fell against Ray's chest, unbothered by the mouldy crumbs all over her uniform since she was safe and unharmed, with only a few bruises for her super-regeneration to heal. Even Ray was stunned, instantly holding his sweet girl, but damn...

"Ba-guette wrecked?" He echoed incredulously, but there was a grateful glint in his eyes as the girl nodded sheepishly. "Okay, Chapa..."

"Thanks, kid," (y/n) said graciously, rubbing at her sore throat as her doofus smiled proudly and tittered over her health. She was fine, but the same couldn't be said for Mika, who'd been left to face the mime minions while they battled the Queen.

"Uh, little help?" She called out awkwardly, struggling with one of the henchmen as he took inspiration from his lady and encircled her in a deadly embrace.

Still, he was no queen, merely holding onto the girl for dear life as was his duty, so it didn't take much for her friends to free her. Glancing at one another, the couple and Chapa turned to the mime with bared teeth, threateningly stepping forward and screaming like they were about to tear him limb from limb.

It was enough to scare him shitless, and he released Mika without hesitation, making a break for it like only a mime could.

"Thanks..."

"No problem." The girls smiled at each other as (y/n) squeezed Ray's hand, glad to have a moment to breathe now that the mimes were scattered. They'd done pretty well to say they'd lost a third of the team, but the peace didn't last, not when Miles randomly teleported back into the room.

He'd been across the ocean and back, bursting here, there, and everywhere before finally returning to his friends, eager and ready to fight. Unfortunately, he was a tad tardy, looking around for any enemies while his friends clutched at their heaving chests - did he have to sneak up on them like that?

"Aw, man. I missed my chance to punch a mime?" The boy whined after squealing, visibly deflated, when he realised that every mime was either unconscious or gone.

Still, he wasn't disappointed for long, not when a loud, obnoxious, high-pitched alarm balled through the cafe, bathing its walls and residents in red light. The heroes looked around suspiciously, wondering if it was another mimey trick or something else to worry about. Yet, Monsieur Man leapt to his feet in delight, bounding over to them with all the energy and friendliness of a Golden Retriever.

"The strike! She is over!" He announced joyfully, much to their confusion. It had barely been going on for a day - how could it be over already when they'd only just arrived?

"What?"

"Yes, the France has purchased me a pretty pink motorcycle," the smarmy hero explained, casually flicking through his social media before beaming at his stunned American counterparts. "Now, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man! Ha-ha!"

"God, I hate him..." (y/n) sighed as she watched the Parisian disappear through the entrance, skipping like a little girl at the thought of riding through the city on his bike, golden locks billowing in the wind. Well, as long as his garlicky smell was as far away from her as possible, she didn't care, tucking herself into Ray's side, smiling at his grumpy face.

Some use he was; he could've at least stayed to help them round up the mimes before running off to play with his new toy, but no matter. The team were used to getting their hands dirty and doing all the work, so they gathered the mimes and their Queen up in no time.

Bose's slinky - who Miles reported was safely at the Man's Nest like they feared - helped bind them together in a tit-for-tat style. They huddled in the middle of the room, snapping and gnashing their teeth like wild animals as Chapa helped (y/n) finish the final knot, ready for the cops to collect them.

They thought it was a job well done, clapping each other on the back and taking a minute for themselves when Marie burst into Hip Hop Paris. She looked like she'd run halfway across the city, stray hairs flying away from her sweaty face as she fixed her gaze on them. Miss Danger would bet ten dollars she knew what she was about to say...

"Captain Man! Mademoiselle Danger! The strike! She is--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's over. We heard." Ten dollars to her. She was ready to go home, tiredly tucking herself into Ray's side as he wrapped an arm around her waist. France was a little too hectic for them--and a little too weird.

"Did you protect our French national treasures?" Marie asked in concern, only to pale when the couple and their sidekicks winced guiltily. They could barely look her in the eye, let alone explain that they'd either been crushed or smashed.

"Well..."

"Uhhh..."

"Not even a little," Chapa replied in her signature deadpan, barely using a fraction of the remorse or tentativeness as her friends. She stood with her arms folded, not flinching when Marie's face fell because what was done was done. They'd defeated some mimes; that was something.

"Hey, the pants made it," Miles exclaimed when the yellowish garments caught his eye, having been discarded by one of their opponents during the fight. They looked a little dusty, but otherwise, they were perfectly unscathed, and he bent down to pick them up for the concerned hostess.

"Oh, wait, AWOL--" (y/n) started, reaching out to try and explain that old clothing tended to be delicate and easy to rip, but she was too late. The boy didn't reach for the board behind the pants; instead, he grabbed the leg, accidentally tearing the stitching when he pulled it too hard - and Napoleon's trousers were ruined forever.

"Never mind..." she muttered timidly, cringing when Miles stood up with the material still clenched in his fist.

"My bad. That's on me." At least he was noble enough to admit his mistake, not that it comforted the woman.

"What are we going to do?" She cried, tears gathering in her eyes, which never moved from where the pants formally laid, unharmed and relatively pristine. How was she supposed to tell the nation that the ones they'd hired to protect them were no better than the ruffians who wanted to steal them?

"Oh, well. We...are gonna go home," Ray told her awkwardly, looking at his pretty girl, who eagerly nodded despite her morality saying otherwise. She didn't want to stick around for the angry mob to come with their pitchforks and torches, and Ray much preferred his own bed for many reasons, eyeing the door as Marie glared.

"You cannot just leave!" She exclaimed haughtily, not that the hero gave a damn - he didn't answer to anyone...well, no one but his wife. "You came here, made a lot of dust-up, and destroyed all of our stuff!"

"Well, y'know..." (y/n) said awkwardly, not knowing how to explain it other than... "America."

"Nice one, sweet girl..." Ray chuckled in her ear as Marie tossed her arms in the air and marched off, undoubtedly to clean up the mess they'd made.

Still, she left their exit clear, and the group happily tiptoed toward the door now that they'd escaped a major telling-off.

"Can we go home, please?" She asked sweetly, smiling up at her doofus as he squeezed her hand. How could he refuse a request like that? He felt utterly exhausted after such a dramatic and lengthy trip, and nothing sounded like a better remedy than curling up with her in their bedroom to watch a cosy rom-com--one of her favourites, preferably.

So, leading her by the hand with the children following like chatting ducklings, he guided the team toward the door...only to be halted again. Ray had to grit his teeth to stop swearing, especially when he recognised the smooth, shiny head that ambled through the door like nothing was wrong.

Schwoz. He'd soon made himself scarce, the bald little weirdo, fleeing when they could've used another extra body during the battle, even if it were merely a meat shield. But something was off, namely the gorgeous woman with her arm wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't...did he?

"You guys! I met the love of my life!" He announced with one of the brightest smiles (y/n) had ever seen, and despite her tiredness, the romantic sight lightened her heart.

She could see why Schowz had fallen for the lady; she was tall, cheery, and beautiful, with her hair falling around her face in soft curls, pretty pink makeup, a flowery dress, a matching scarf, and an elegant handbag. She was everything and more for the handyman, who beamed with such a delicate creature on his arm, even if she was almost double his height.

"Aw..." she murmured, melting when the lovebirds smiled at each other, yet Ray wasn't so touched.

"We're leaving," he ordered curtly before seizing (y/n)'s hand and dragging her through the door. She could barely steal another glance at the couple, feeling like she was losing her real-life rom-com before she could sink her teeth into it. Talk about a killjoy.

"Doofus!" She exclaimed, digging her heels into the ground as he marched into the street, barely looking back at her.

"But I just found true love!" Schwoz argued, refusing to give up his beloved's hand when he'd dreamed of this moment all his life. It wasn't fair; everyone else, even Ray, with all his flaws and failings, found their soulmate, so why couldn't he? It was heartbreaking, especially when a rough hand grabbed his shoulder.

"I said, we're leaving!" The man hauled him through the door, and the love of Schwoz's life slipped through his fingers like sand. They stared at each other mournfully as the children hurried past, not wanting to be entangled in something so complex.

Even the captured mimes looked gloomy, which (y/n) didn't miss as she tripped over her feet on the way out. One look at Schwoz's wobbly bottom lips and teary eyes and her feet glued to the pavement, stopping abruptly in the street, much to the frustration of several baffled Parisians.

And if she stopped, the others stopped too, refusing to leave Miss Danger behind, even though they could weirdly ignore the genius' silent hiccups and sobs.

"Doofus, what are you doing?" She asked coldly, although when Ray whipped around, he saw more confusion in her face than disgust.

"You said you wanted to go home..." he replied simply, shrugging as if nothing was wrong despite her folded arms and Schwoz's trembling form. "So, we're going home."

"And what about everything back there?"

"What are you talking about?" He frowned, much to his wife's apparent disgusted shock. She stepped away from him as the kids looked at the couple with blank stares, wondering what to do since they were having a bit of a domestic.

They deemed it best to step to the side and start their own conversation; experience told them that fights and arguments were vanishingly rare and often ended before they barely started. They discussed everything from the weather to the dichotomy of good and evil - anything to give them space.

"Okay, don't be doofus all your life," (y/n) groaned, giving him a mildly bemused but mostly exasperated look. Even he wasn't that dense, merely playing coy because he knew she was irritated. "I'm talking about Schwoz and that French woman. Y'know, the love of his life."

"So?" Ray asked, tentatively placing his hands on her hips. He was gently surprised to realise that she wasn't totally pushing him away.

She sighed and returned the touch, reaching up to fiddle with the zip on his tunic, knowing that he could be unnecessarily, stupidly, ridiculously dense sometimes. But she knew deep down that he wasn't cruel, just...silly. Such a silly doofus.

"So, he should go be with her. You can't just rip them apart!" The heroine exclaimed, and Schwoz nodded weakly, pining for his sweetheart. He wanted to go and take her in his arms, just as Ray did with his sweet girl, but he wouldn't move with permission, too fearful of what the hero would do.

"Eh, he'll get over it..." the man replied casually before taking her soft hand. He wanted to take her home more than anything, eager to board the first plane and forget everything about this irritating trip, but (y/n) would budge, standing still with a face like thunder.

"Raymond..." she said firmly, taking his face in her hands so he could look into her eyes. "What if we lost our chance like this?"

"What...?" Ray gasped, heart fluttering at the implication, even if vague.

He didn't question anything to do with her, too thankful that he'd landed the girl of his dreams to want to know what his life would be like if he one day woke up to find out everything was a dream. The thought felt like a knife through his heart, turning the man with unwavering nerves into a shuddering mess.

"What would you have done if, all those years ago, someone took me away from you and said to get over it?" (y/n) proposed softly as the same emotions ran through her mind.

It was unimaginable; they were so solid and dependable, the couple everyone could rely on to always be together because they were soulmates. They were the universe's plan, star-crossed, and whatever else, snuggling closer when they wondered...what if they never fell in love?

"I'd rip their head off," Ray said quietly, and (y/n) didn't argue when he wrapped his strong arms around her as if he was terrified she'd disappear.

They were silent for a minute, hearing nothing but Schwoz's deep breaths and the children's debate over smooth orange juice or the one with bits in it. He kissed her head gently, so thankful he could say his ring was on her finger. "I'd go through hell for you, darlin."

"And I'd do the same for you..." she promised, pecking his cheek before pulling back to look at him with a soft smile, sighing.

"So, don't you think Schwoz deserves the same?"

"But sweet girl...it's Schwoz!" The hero exclaimed, glancing at the sorrowful genius, who looked worse for wear. Even Ray could see how torn up he was, and he felt a little bad, but come on... It wasn't like any of his relationships ever succeeded--like Ray could talk about his past flings.

"But doofus...nothing! Send him back there, or I'm not sitting next to you on the plane!" It was an empty threat; (y/n) always had to sit next to her doofus, needing to hold his hand on take-off so she'd never make him bunk with one of the kids.

Still, it inspired a slight panic in the hero, who gasped in horror and held her tighter at the thought of sitting beside...Chapa.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would! Come on, doofus...do it for me. And for Schwoz. And for the Frenchy lady," she argued, soothingly rubbing his chest while fluttering her eyelashes - tempting and convincing him in only a way she could.

Ray sighed, weighing up every option. He hated the idea of losing Schwoz, knowing more than anyone that when a man fell in love, he'd forsake his every faculty and responsibility to pledge his devotion to her instead. He'd undoubtedly move out and start a new life, and he'd lose one of his oldest friends - that's why he was cruel...to be kind.

"...Fine. But just because I love you." After a few minutes, he heaved a heavy sigh, meeting Schwoz's gaze, who hoped with all hopes to have the green light. One nod toward the café, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree, shouting a million thanks before sprinting toward the love of his life and all the possibilities she could hold.

"I'll take it!" (y/n) squealed, looping her arms around his neck as she held him close, her beaming grin matching Schwoz's and the kids as they silently watched how he ran like the wind. It was weirdly kind for the man, who hated to see him go, but her happiness was worth it.

It would be like that one day; everyone would move on until it would just be them left - just him and his sweet girl. Henry left, and Charlotte, Piper, and Jasper left, too. Danger Force wouldn't last forever, either, and Schwoz wouldn't work for him indefinitely, not when, hopefully, they retired and had kids.

Not everything lasts forever, and Ray was gradually getting used to that fact, reassured that the love of his life was eternal. A love that would last a lifetime.

"Y'know, there's a heart of gold underneath that grumpiness."

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wikiangela · 1 year

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just finished s3 of bones and oh my god

the finale started with Booth being dead and then not dead - I knew he wouldn't die, there's 12 seasons, but I was confused af

and then they just blew my mind - ZACK?? I never would've thought

I actually wondered about Sweets and I was praying that it's not him because I want him to stick around, I love him so much 😂 (he's freaking adorable and Booth and Brennan mocking and roasting him all the time is hilarious, I really hope this continues haha)

overall the season was so fucking great, I love this show

also, it's only s3 and I feel like Booth is already so in love with Bones I almost can't stand it lol just the way he looks at her come on 😩 no idea when they'll get together, but I'm waiting (the slow burn is so delicious tho haha)

how did this season have only 15 episodes, I was actually so surprised, I thought I was like barely halfway through and it just ended and the finale was amazing

this show is amazing, why didn't I watch it years ago

#bones #bones season 3 #zack addy #bones series #bones tv #seely booth #temperance brennan #booth x brennan

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zhalar · 10 months

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i did these posts with books i read in 2020 i think, bout to make another for black sails. this is just a yardstick for my progression with the series, aka my extensive nonsensical notes and quotes i liked etc. no clear indicators whos saying what and when, just Vibes and Real Drama Television so i'll generally remember whats Happening. watch out its quite a wordy fucknig thing if you press read more also i started at episode 4 of season1 for some fucking reason and it pisses me off immensely. IT TOOK ME SIX MONTHS AND NINE DAYS TO FINISH THIS SHOW. I NEED TO PUT THESE THOUGHTS SOMEWHERE. heres also a twitter thread of reaction for however long the site's gonna be usable at this point

(watch and read as my opinions on characters and decisions change in real time)

ep4 fuckign FUCK jack is the funniest motherfucker in this SHOWWW . "you'd be a valuable asset to anybody .. my [most valuable thing??] is my wits [and as someone who just lost 5000 pesos of their own crew's money, it isn't worth much atm]

"and that, my darling, i feel compelled to state out loud, life is simply too FUCKING SHORT".

also anne as the muscle and him as the wits.❤️ straight rights

ep5 "i specifically tried to talk her OUT of getting wrapped up in my selfish scheme" it's the Best when men are. self-aware.

ep6 eleanor holding john's life in her fingers❤️ tasty delicious i love women with power yes girl destroy every other person for the woman who you love

the enslaved people fucking their captors shit right up. i love this flavor. fucking hell. fucking fuck the stunt scott pulled almost got me ooohhhh thank god it didn't go as i feared.

john has this cadence about him it's like he's constantly trying to sell me a used car

BILLY ? FLINT. ARE YOU. FOR REALLLL

"you had your say. now i'll have mine" ANNEEEE

ep7 gates: "because billy. Wasn't expendable. To Me." MY MANNNNNNNNNNNNN IM GONNA. CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

eleanor PLEASE get your head outta your assSSSS....

back to jack rackham's funtime brothel business attempt :) hes so bad at this... what the hell.... "the wRong tree" BITCH.... he is so pathetique godbless

"get your fucking house in order" MAX. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

the . fuckign tears in Gates' eyes when Dufrene says that after this trip, Flint dies. . ajdslfhjl

ep8 flint you . flint. Flint. you fucking. YOU SADDDD PATHETICCCCCCC LITTLE MAN. NOT! GATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not the sobbing and im sorry's and cradling his dead body in your hands. this sucks. this fucking SUCKS

i wish vane would suck some sand and die :)

john's manic smile "had to be done" you are. sssssso. YOU.

"no-man's-land. there was a time when stopping halfway across this bridge would have been unthinkable to you"

sorry to be so crude but flint's tits are fucking Humongous. Who allowed this.

ep1 "but i'm the only person within a hundred miles of here who doesn't want to see you dead" hm. my god. so flint and silver, like...

"maaadam guthrie" jack <3

"so i actually have to fight him?" "WELL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN"

"you have absolutely nothing to worry about" i doubt that, jack. but thanks

OH MY DOUBTS ARE UNFOUNDED !

flint and silver make each other worse :) yay!!!

ep2 ".. but seducing her was certainly... an interesting approach"

idk where this is going to go yet . but jack. "take our, predicament" bruh. MANN. hes so pathetic and i feel bad for him but do nottt be a dickkkkk. HE'S TALKING LEGALIZE LIKE A DICK AND JUST. TAKES THE SHOT. [DRUMROLL] READY TO LEAVE,

. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. "Please know that all i have ever wanted for you is to be happy. come to bed when you're through" for. REAL?????????????????? JACK MY BEST FRIEND JACK?? POLY KING..

ep4 im sorry i know theres all this war and politic intrigue happening but the . threesome morning after, jack's awkward but jovial ?? grimace at max when he's leaving the scene, ohh my god... also max being a ma'am now within the brothel❤️ and jack kissing anne's head as he rose from bed....

flint and john insane homoerotically charged conversations. always reverting back to his share of the gold huh.

ep5 miranda's actor doing SO much for big frustrated female emotions(tm)

(utterly unimpressed) "all right. what's the matter with the articles"

"so again fuck's your problem?" anne... anne your voice is like a SO~NG

"and another to tell them why they should want to do it"

ohh my god, uhhuh. Uhhuh. huh? . yeah. yeah i thought so. i mean. fuck. Wow. uhhuh. no one's spoiled me enough to prepare me for this, then, huh. james fucking flint you complicated hard-headed queer jackass of a man. your plan is bad but fuck man who am i to tell you anything

ep6 please tell me jack doesn't know how to be a sailor please please PLEWASE he is so pathetic. "listen... no women" SHUT UP!!!!

anne's stride to that man's neck to get him to spill the beans about the gold. her voice and eyes. i love you strange angry violent bisexual woman. god. you know. trauma !

thhhe fucking shadow work when small scared traumatized anne lifts her gaze to max. oh the shadow in that. MAX'S VOICE.... MAX PROMISING TO. PROTECT ANNE?? at some cost i bet.... BUT ANYWAY????

i love the fact that jack is just compleeeteely not scary intimidating or physically impressive at all. wet blanket of a man but at least he's got a brain (?) and a heart ???

ep7 max standing up for anne, both of them owing so fucking much to the other. i love how much authority max has...

oh its sooo fucking delightful how silver and flint are just. thick as thieves, suddenly, i love to fuckin see it. OK NEVER FUCKING MINDDD LMAO. but theyve still got that rappor!!! like!!! cant get rid of the other fast enough. or at all!! no matter what! tied at the ankles together!!

oh. thank. fuck max hugged her. ohh my god... and [the other lady] was so .. idk whats going on exactly but how kind of her to . come and usher anne out of the situation. you dont need to be doing this. go. HHHNNN

silver telling max about the gold >:) MAX'S SMILE. ILOVE HERRRR

hyiiii EWW THE ENDING OF THIS EPISODE... EWWWWW

ep8 "please go with him, so he doesn't get himself killed" ".. oh for fucks sake.."

the power that silver holdddds. ooohhhhhhhhh

wait HOLD UP. ? DID :) did flint kill hamilton's father for putting him in an asylum (??) am i reading this girl's tale correctly..

"for if anyone is responsible for what happened that day, it's, Me." ma'am. ily

oh god oh lord. the birds of prey over the fort. has vane Really just murdered 40 men ON HIS OWN.

ALRIGHT. YEAH. WAIT. NO. I FORGOT ABOUT THE NASTY UNPLEASANT VIBE OF THE LATEST EPISODE LOL <33

FUCK charles vane i HATE THIS BITCHHHHh EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT ALL OF THE TIME

ep9 "footrope. bitch of a spot"

"you idiots are the fucking riggers of this ship" AHSDHFJKH

oh but i thought there were two ships. one in charlestown and one at nassau. and that vane's men would yknow. be in Nassau. cuz how did they get into charlestown THIS QUICK ?

i know it's main character syndrome but man oh boy is silver good at keeping himself alive

"where are we going?" "to execute the third option"

i hate that anne has to kill :( but it is also so fucking sexy that she is so GOOD at handling a fight

fuuuuck eleanorrrrr,,, GRRRR

tjhe lingering hand hold with anne and max.... AUUUGH

the LOVE. that miranda and flint share for thomas is SO FUCKING WILD TO ME WHAT A POINT WHAT A POWER. ????

OH . SHHHHE. FUCKING. DIES??????????? JUST LIKE . THAT????????????

john's smug ass grin when vane says theyre saving flint... whaaaatttt

NOT THE AVALANCE ??????

ep10 "like we was two halves of the same thing""i can't be your wife, jack"[A TEAR FROM JACK'S EYE]"but you and i are gonna be partners til they put us in the fucking ground" HET! RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!

john seeing how the crew starts rising up for him.. oh the power. oh the power is DELICIOUS.

"everyone is a monster to someone. since you are so convinced that i am yours... i will be it"

"what do you suggest?" "that we remind them that they were right to be afraid" FLINT!!!!!

"where are his keys, and has he seen them since he took me away from my men" BRO. JOHN!!!!!!

oh flint is. fully gone :) kill my lover kill my wife i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fear the genuine guttural fucking FEAR at john's voice over the state of his leg . the crew all around him. oh this is. OH THIS IS.

point of no return.

"would you like to see something shiny?" PIRATES!!!!! WOOOO YEAHH

MAX AS THE SEASON'S FINAL FRAME ILYSM

ep1 TEACH!!

"any capital sentence against a pirate would hear my answer" he's an avenging angeeeeel. OF SOME SOOORT

haircut and facial hair to show that time has passed, yes, i see

"this crew has spilled a great deal of blood to make your name what it is. it doesn't belong to you" WOW

oh. Oh! alright! jack you piece of shit huh! vane i'm sorry for my very mean words (still deserved, but you know, people, being human, piracy)

"take this, and leave me be" max.....

"jack, if i thought it gave you any pleasure, i would've killed you the moment you suggested it" goddamn. goddamn these two. fucking fuck.

season three poster kicks ASSS

ep2 "lovely. good old jack gets buried beneath a pile of rubble while you two begin a well-funded life of leisure"

"i am here in part to ensure my own future, i will not apologize for that" max you deserve eeeveeerythiiiiing

sjhaking jack and max in a bottle grr GRR they both love anne GRRRRRRRRH

"this is the second time in the last few months im facing certain death, and you are again offering moral support" "does that mean we're married?"

oh . oh :( john having to witness and hold this guy through as he's helpless and fucking drowning before his eyes. fuck tthis fucking SHOW!!!!!

i love how much this all. Affects john. he's so fuckjing sad to lose yet another of his brothers.

"just how fucking stupid, exactly, are your men" "... it's hard to say"

"... like fucking rodents, preparing for the winter"

flint's nightmares in this... ough. miranda... HAUNTING

oh fuckyes the becalming be upon us. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.

ep3 "no, i think we should feed some of the men and not, others" dfhjk flint flint flint flint this is FUCKED UP. BUT WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO???? AS CAPTAIN!!!!!

jack's "[whistle] that's enough. you, sit down" charming charming guy

"though might be you're the only one who actually made a career of it" jack and anne and jack and vane and hdsfdbkjbvkvj what is this do they even like each other is this old friends is tHIS ABOUT OLD FRIENDS ???

"i think it's torture for him. and i think the only way he can imagine it stopping is when there are no more of us left to witness it" john's insight into flint.... why is he so clever about this man. huh!!!

the ghosts hunting flint❤️ oh christ i cant do this . fucking trauma. fucking piracy. fuck this noise. FUCK!!!

"if you're not strong enough to do what needs to be done, [then] i'll do it for you" flint. my man. is this a love confession (fuck no it isnt but also HM)

oh shit, oh fuck , anne and max fucking love each other. FUCK. "you should stay. to see it divided evenly" ".... i trust you" AH! HOLY! SHIT!

"i'm one of the two men who've been on full rations for the last few days. you're the other. let's go" YAY AT THIS DYNAMIC. YAY AT TRYING TO BECOME WHAT HIS BEST FRIEND AND WIFE WERE TO HIM. YAY AT THIS ENTIRE TRUST-BONDING EXPERIENCE :)!!!

fight me or kill me "or acknowledge the fact that you and i would be a hell of a lot better off as partners instead of rivals" HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

ep4 the men shouting and lying and demanding shit outside the fortress, appealing to jack, trying to get to vane. jack point-blank shooting the guy❤️ oh my god.

fuck yes retribution by enslaved people <3 oh man. where is this going to Fucking Take Us. ethically choppy waters, black-n-white thinking, i dont fcking know

jack is . so focused on leaving a legacy...

"how much?" "... mmh !"

"i was just gonna say 'i'll see you soon', but that would probably be a lie, wouldn't it?"

"i hate to be the one to say it, but is it possible we've all missed the point of that story? they all Died."

flint and john's epic fatherhood over billy ahljsdf:djflgk

"she will not let us leave this place alive" and good for her for that

MISTER SCOTT LOVE OF MY LIFEEEEE LIGHT OF MY DAYSSSSSS YEAH YEAH !! YEHAW!!!

oh fuckers and shitheads you did not just . shoot at him. did you. im going to eat you

ep5 "so i might oversee the survival of both places outside the scrutiny of either" mr scott.......

"you should know, people do not speak to me that way anymore" max you deserve the moon and the stars. eleanor get the fuck outta here...

h e r v o i c e w h e n s h e s a y s a n n e

scott smiling so fucking gently softly at his wife and THEN HIS DAUGHTER OUGH MAN HE'S SO..!!!! flint i swear if you fuck this up. if you get a knife on her im gonna [jsdfhmgjkfjngj]

"strange how little separates us" :( vane and that dying spanish dude talking...

"it's awful, isn't it. how the money makes sheep of us all"

max demanding herself a seat and a future. god i love you.

"and yet for some reason, right now i am bothered by it" the flint fucking curse i see

HE LEFT THE KNIFE!!! HE LEFT IT!!! THE CROWD GOES WILLLDDDD

"bring down nassau. maybe you bring it all down"

jack and his name..... ohhhh brother.

ep6 "in a few hours time, there's a good chance you're going to look awfully smart"

jack so angry and peeved and hurt-of-pride bc that english dude got the city to work and he didn't... ouhh the pride. OH WHY ARE YOU HERE YOURE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.....

"no one prepared you for this, did they" ah the similar fates "but i know how"

"but it cannot be borne if you cannot stand"

"please understand i'm quite particular about my library"

"to have been a partner to him in this way" the homoerotic subtext mmmhh-hm!

"you don't think i can convey a thought to Anne comprehensible only to her? a thought as simple as 'run'?" ;_; BRUH,,, he's ready to . Not let Nassau be 'english' and for anne to have a chance out NO MATTER WHAT THE COSTTTTT

"english it will not be" or however the quote went..... badass... fuck yehaw.....

scott and his daughter ,,, scott continues to be so. fucking loving father to her despite the great gulf between them :( MANNNN

FUCK! ROGERS!!!!!!!!!!!

ep7 jesussss this plan is big and dangerous🙂

yes yess YES YES YESSSS THE DAUGHTER GETS ON THE BOAT!!!!!!!!! please tell me her name next. ffs.

billy taking her hand and helping her onto the ship COOL SHOT !!

".. but this battle is ours as much as yours. my word and your will govern in consort or not at all. and when i'm not present, that word shall be given by my daughter" POWER TO WOMEN!!!!!!!!

"we're all villains in nassau. don't think cuz youre new youre any different"

fuck :) now they gotta give jack as well as the gold. max is so pissed abt this. she gave anne her WORD.

i love that she had power and say over white men now. btw. love this flavor.

HER NAME IS MADI. BTW. THANK YOUU

"i understand this is the place cowards come to beg forgiveness from a king"

"captain flint is dead" "not anymore he's not" HE GOT BETTER

ohhhh ffffuuuuuck did silver just. kick glasses-guy's head in with his peg leg. ohh Brother.

"my name is john silver. and i've got a long, fucking memory"

flint coming to ask silver "are you alright?" after this all :)c not to be annoying. but im gonna be annoying. these two fucking guys <3

flint talking about both miranda and thomas this episode i love bisexuality

"... and spiteful to anyone who would find.. Happiness, under her rule" AFTER REFERRING TO THE FACT THAT BOTH THOMAS AND MIRANDA WERE KILLED FOR THE FIGHT FOR THE PARDONS ETC. WOW!!!!

vane and jack and anne and max polycube of all time. at this current moment just the three of them at all actively but it still stands.

ep8 anne and flint discussing routes. vane is there too. vane is playing with some tea cup. gets his finger slightly stuck on the ear--

"don't despair, some other poor bastard'll take my place soon enough" jack..... the RAT......

"there's a whole world out there, that ever so often rewards ambition"

"this does not seem like release"

"one waits for mr de groot to finish speaking, frowns thoughtfully, and then repeats phonetically what he said to the men"

"the depths of my ignorance on the subject" oooh yes. oh YES. learning the job. ON THE FLY.

he and madi have an interesting thing going on :) they should be friends i think

i really dont care for eleanor anymore. like good for her for girlbossing her own way but ohhhh stay away from max thaaaanks

ok sorry yeah i do like it when she's cussing men out its good its fantastic

the fucking spiderweb of people and relations and ideals and pride and trust and power and dsshfkdjfgkj

"for reasons passing understanding, mr dobbs still has a number of friends on this crew" fuck dobbs but FUCK this line is funny

madi :(....

jack is the son of a long line of tailors omg...

"but jesus did i make up a lot of ground to catch you"

anne clambering into the wreckage to kiss jack square on the lips hello............ "ow" HELLO

vane jack and anne "right behind us" vane's INSANE fucking stare at flint as he says "yeah" GOOD STUFF

i mean im not trying to sell the polycule but uuuhhhhoooohhhgh vane helping jack out of the carriage.. that hold is GOOOOOODDD

vane's NOT ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE RIGHT NOW. IS HE. I JUST STARTED TO LIKE HIIMMMM

ep9 "charles vane's death is inside that box. along with my good name. along with her lost love. along with your late quartermaster's life." holy fucking shit speak UP jack oh i LOVE THIS. oh my godddddd

"that, or he doesn't know how to say no to the both of us at the same time" flint and silver parents of all time

"... it could be catastrophic" "HE KNOWS." JOHN'S FACE HEREEE

"if you have something to add you should just fucking say it"

"i can't tell if this was a warning, or a welcome" WELCOME!!!!!! WELCOME TO H E L L ! ! !

madi hugging john OH GOD. OH THE . GHRGHGGRHG THERES A TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"get on with it motherfucker" oh fuck me i really like vane actually. he's not gonna fucking DIE, HAHA, THAT WOULD BE . WRONGGGG

huh. well this fucking hurt actually. gol d roger ass move btw. FUCK THIS SUCKS ACTUALLY!!!!!!

jack taking on vane's mantle . my teeth are gonna be ground clean off with the way im clenching my jaw right now. fffuck me this episode was pretty rough after all

eleanor guthrie youre a fantastic character i hope you also get whats coming to you❤️

hello mr teach and your sad little camp.... dad's about to be fucking furious about a certain someone's hanging.... "what do you want to do about it?" and the movement of his eye.... GIRL WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO DO ABOUT IT

ep10 "the irony wasn't lost on either of us"

"but the one in whose name this war is to be fought... it is still a stranger to me" oh Words. also flint's stare in this moment mmmmmwah!!

"and given how much we have sacrificed to earn this battle, how can we do anything other but to see it through. my friend may have given his life to earn this battle"

flint sacrificed fifty of his men in a senseless massacre just to entice the english to chase after him.......... bitch this fucking MAN.

blackbeard coming to avenge his SONNNN and also jack closing his eyes to take in the news of charles' death oh my GOD

he is. so righteously PEEVED at eleanor over what happened to charles oh my god.....

BTW really very good hair insp from jack here. around 19minutes to the ep

"... once our relationship had been exposed, defiled, scandalized... everything ended"

"england was broken, and that sooner or later a good man must resist it" BRO. BRRRRROOO

flint's voice and face during this conversation haHa. haha ha ha. Ha., huh.

john..... partners and trust and dying 'for' flint ghngrhg

"there may be no one in the world closer to you than i am" THIS IS . INSANE. INSANE!!!!!!!

"i think he feels shame. for having disappointed me. and a great need to redeem himself in my eyes"

"but among them is the sincere confusion as to why charles invested any time and energy in you" BECAUSE THEYRE FRIENDS!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!

"there wasnt any more to that thought, was there" JACK YOU LOSER....

"to be underestimated is an incredible gift"

"someone better suited to do what must be done" madi's so fucking cool and i would lay down my life for her .

"see you on the other side" "always." fuck will and elizabeth actually these are my emotional support straights (not straight). also jack just called charles their brother im going to dshfjkdbgjkhjhklfdg

oh i love comedy. blackbeard's ship getting shot at and jack faltering in his step, while Teach. Literally Just Stands there. giving him the eye. Jack trying to gather himself. lmao

"TELL YOUR GOVERNOR. YOU TELL HIM I'M COMING" YAAAAYYY

"but in terms of out future and the danger that you believe you may pose to me, bear this in mind. I've survived starvation, a tempest, pirate hunters, jealous captains, mutinous crews, angry lords, a queen, a king, and the goddamn british navy." the rest of that quote. THE SCENE WHERE THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OVER THE BODY OF WATER. WOW!!! FLINT'S SMILE IN THE FLASHBACK. WOW!!!!!!!

"but that name isnt doing anything for us. see about that"

cant fucking describe how insanely fun it is to me that the crew at nassau are creating a myth, a man out of thin air, to serve as the poster boy for their efforts or whatnot. this is the Neatest fucking thing. WHAT the hell.

best fucking thing to have max be in these season finale final shots so often

THE LETTER. MADMEN, RICH MEN, TYRANTS AND KING. THE TABLE!!!!

ep1 "if it makes you feel any better, i havent considered killing you in months" aw he cares ❤️

also hhhiiiih the opening sequence underwater stuck in that ladder thingie :) yikes!!

MADI HOT AS HELL.

"today there will be vengeance for the death of charles vane" JAAAACKKKKK

THE REVENGE :)<3

oh that was. a nasty fucking trick, the barricade whatever. oh fuck me.

OH FUCK MEEEE flint i cant believe you'd leave silver on his oWN OH NNNO. and madi's reaction as well oh no....

"i dont know. got to make this" girl this is . So.

im still wondering about max and eleanor's roles in all this. who will max side with. No one? herself. is eleanor actually This, Now. after all That? shes the most selfish mf (honorific) that im finding this all Very difficult to swallow

flint telling madi how it seems that silver and her have become 'friends'.... "he is my friend, too" i see. I See.

MR. FEATHERSTONE DO NOTTTTTTT TRIFLE ME RIGHT NOW. BE. FOR REAL.

no no nnno not mister de groot :(

"there will be no pirate King here. of that much i am certain" GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! I SUPPORT THIS

ep2 "i gave you a life, and you repaid me by conspiring with my enemies" MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh NO???

aah, good ol sexism on the high seas. whats teach's fucking issue with anne.

madi has the fucking, CLASS and SWAG of a chAMPION. TALK BACK TO FLINT MORE!!! ILOVE THIS FLAVOR

israel fucking hands lmsjkdfglfk i fucking knew it was fking waiting for the name to drop i cant fucking, believe this

i love this, when john is spinning this tale about himself, i dont know if he believes any of it himself, whether he's so deep in the lie just to get out of a bad situation, is this where his heart actually lies. i love this. myth of a man. "now i am here". like some goddamned god

"at a certain point there is a good chance he'll just decide to kill you than take your no for an answer" "he can try" anne loml loml loml

"now that we're here, it'd be so easy. and i don't wanna do it"

[looks at the camera] oh. i Love Infighting.

"someone who shared anne's mistrust of sentimentality" anne and charles bff's for REAL.....

oh fuck off fuck me, teach's memory of charles and that bird and what it might mean, "dinner" fuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeee this FUCKING gUY

max is so tired of this fucking situationnnn but she has some sense of moralityYYY oh my god this tangle of WEBSSSS

john just lost a friend in max :(

ep3 max's voice when she's angry... loml

"the empire survives in part because we believe its survival to be inevitable. but it isn't. and they know that. that's why they're so terrified of you and i" flint and madi bestfriendism arc begins Now

wait this occurred to me out of nowhere as jack is pondering about his future status and whether he's gonna be blackbeard's equal one day. oh are these daft bastards all doomed by the narrative. cuz of the history thing. idk what happened in nassau, historically speaking, but is this whole entire endeavor gonna end Bad for them. oh no. OH NNNNO

madi YOUR EYES. OH THE TEARS

"do i need to run?" "that'd be fun for me to see. how would you do it?" "with great difficulty, i imagine"

this episode is paced and shot in the most . bizarre fucking manner. why does this look and feel like a relationship drama or a cheap version of one.

"i did not fail to do it. i refused to do it and would again"

teach offering that shithead rogers a tight lipped smile while he's captured. ok blackbeard you have rights

oh. oh they fucking killed. huh. teach is fucking dead, then. fuck rogers fuck him entirely what the fuck is this dudes deal

ep4 flint saying "our shared authority" like a . fucking confession. oh my God.

"a lot of them end up that way too. though i admire your optimism" AND THE WAY FLINT LOOKS AT HIM. THIS IS INSANE ON THE BRAIN

silver's personal vendetta against billy. <3 flint and silver sharing the mantle of Captain(tm) <33

"i think we all agree that it helps none of us to have those idiots armed to the teeth" "... yeaH"

this john billy flint + max conflict is so interesting. oh my god it's so . HM!!

"any man" "absolutely -- absolutely not" LET ANNE FIGHT FFS !!!!!

"anne get up" her hands. fully open. bleeding down to the bone now,

JACK JACK JACK MY BELOVED RACKHAM

"that i would have had to live with it" max is not a killer ohhh she's got the sensibilities of a human-person still when everyone else is ready to reign bloody murder upon anyone who crosses them ohhhhhhhhh

"do i need to be concerned that you took almost two hours to tell me about it?"

i know i know i know its about miranda (and thomas) but mostly miranda i know i know but fuck man fuuuuuuck when john tells flint that madi is the person who makes him the most vulnerable and flint is spacing out after it. dude. FUCK. but also uhhhhhh UHHHHHHH this could be. Bad❤️ flint is. NOT a good person. HHHHHHH

"wouldn't you trade it all to have thomas hamilton back again" HUUUUUUUUUH ? OH I DID NOT EXPECT US TO GO /HERE/ ACTUALLY

the way flint's face is twitching. sir toby stephens THANK YOU

"i suppose the good news is that's how we'll know we're finally getting somewhere interesting" AND THE SAD SMIRK AT THE END OFTHISSSS

fuck eleanor but the look she grants flint before the gate closes. damn.

eleanor i am sooooooo sick and tired of your shhhhit leave max ALONE <333333

ep5 eleanor's handmaiden lady is quite brave actually, to trust her word and go out to the wolves like this

billy is so. Baffled. this actor is really fun in this kinds of emotion

john trusts flint.... or at least. he is trying to convince billy that he does.....

ok this is Quite fucking fascinating actually. this Quarrel-type a beat between rogers and eleanor

i.... dont,,,, care for eleanor getting all emotional about madi and her mom and mr scott. dude. get real.

LOVE the way flint says "i'm not concerned" in regards to the change in plans (cache, and john)

sucha fucking powerful frame when flint and co. come from that tunnel and madi with her men are there <3

"HE just Said it."

"all it guarantees is we no longer have the cache that we all agreed was Critical" I LOVE THAT JACK IS SO. PRACTICAL AND SMART...

WHERES ANNE.

eleanor's commanding officer or whatever . his face when looking through the looking-glass and max asks him what he sees. priceless.

ep6 yes yes yes madi, stomp on those white girl feelings. FUCK eleanor

"'this deal'? as in the one in which you walk away with all My mOnEy?"

"i did not want this" :-(

"thats the power youve given me" oh, BILLY. YOU SHOT YOURSELF IN THE LEG WITH THIS CHOICE !!!

billy's vendetta against flint, wanting to see him dead...... silver asking him to stop it/be over it...............

max and jack, hm, not friendship necessarily. but the General Understanding between them. at times. yeah.

MAX AND ANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"i loved you. and i betrayed you. but i cannot apologize for it" ... "and i do not wish to lie to you ever again" MAX. GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR VOICEEEEE

did madi just. fucking die.

oh. shit. did eleanor fucking die also.

everythings. COMING UP, FLINTHOUSE,

flint's face acting once again, now that he's telling silver about the. Hnghn. situation. oh god.

"anyone who can't make it to the beach, i want them carried. i'll not leave anyone behind"

"how can we all have sacrificed so much and none of us has anything to show for it?" oh i get it now i get it . max isthe fucking insightful oracle or smth like that of the series. she's always on all sides and on her own side, selfish and giving and caring and loyal and scheming. oh she. Oh She.

"... and the governor is sitting in Nassau in mY ffFFUcking chair, victorious !!!"

this spat jack and max are having. Oh Man. i revisit my earlier statement. I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC????

"youre goddamn right i do"

"eleanor is dead, anne is nearly dead, and i want him to pay for all of it dearly" this is not the point but hoooooohhhhmy god if anyone suggests that this woman is bisexual rather than a lesbian im going to [choking noises. but humorously]

oh this shall be. Really Good. <- scene opens of silver lookng Fhucking worse for wear and red-teary-eyed. and flint's opening the captain's door

ep7 "she was curious and strong, not made to be hidden away from the world" THIS SUCKS. SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flint asking "how are you" from silver...... hngnh. theres something so genuine in his voice in this. and in silver's eyes. oh fuck fuck fuck this

"they call you king, but only in the kingdom that is no more. we're all free men here, and i wish to Stay that way."

MAX FUCKING LOVES ANNE. LOOK AT THOSE LINGERING GLANCES FROM THE DOOR. FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"you told her to fuck off. she listened" IM SO SAD

jack's funy little breakdown over the whatever-fees like. bruh. this is SO domestic

jack's got the energy of a single father of four, methinks.

"when i was drowning myself over miranda, you helped me find my way out. Look at me. I will do the same for you"

"charles vane was my closest friend in the world" bruh............. JACK....................... BRO!....................

eleanor's grandmother's actor hello hello hello. Hello

hyii vittuuUUU the dead eleanor having moved her gaze towards rogers in his minds eye eeewwwwWW CREEPS ME OUT

"they are strong when flint and silver are united, but separate the two of them, turn them against one another and their world collapses" JESSUS THE CODEPENDENCY THE ISSUES THE . WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

BITCH. BITCH ??????????????????????????? BGIHNTUTDBGJK H:)DFGFNK MADI IS ALIVE?????????????? FLINT WHAT DID YOU . DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think max is the only character in this show actually. thats what i think actually.

oh fuck Oh fuckkkk silver looks like a drowned cat when he realizes that flint and the queen are not... in favor of. getting madi ? oh goddddddddddddd

".. to divide us like this, i will not permit it, MADI, would not permit it..."

flint is like. RIDE OR DIE. for silver rightnow about madi. i respect this i like this this feels like an insane person thing in its entirety this is so good to me

"when you and i are of the same mind there is nothing we have not yet been able to do" and then he kinda Smiles. at silver. flint youre Insane.

ROGERS CAN SUCK SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

madi is so fucking through with this shes angry and tired and powerful and everythign and she will also die fighting i Hope this iSnt Foreshadowing🙂

"i mean, how could you be someone who would do that?" aint that thefucking question

"i do it for us. thats how it started. thats how its going to end" DID JACK FUCKING RACKhAM JUST INVENT. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEE ? ?

"you'll. you know." "i will" bro they. they both love anne like crazy. they dont love each other they kinda despise/respect/pity each other but By Golly Gee God They Both Love This Woman and Will Put Aside All Arguments For Her SAKE

ISRAEL HANDS ARE YOU A LITTLE WEASEL BITCH IN THIS UNIVERSE ALSO!!!!!!!!!?????????

ep8 "right people ... to hold the world together while it finds its balance" "you think so much of what you and i can accomplish together -" "you and her." OH MY GOD????

"i think that you are the best of us" AND I THINK THAT THIS IS A LOVE CONFESSION. UNLESS????

a cold winter's niiiight. HEALING ONE'S WOUNDSSSSS. MAX AND ANNE!!!!!

oh the trust is so fuckingbroken. between max and anne. between silver and flint... jhessus the stare flint offers silver after the cache is revealed. FUCK.

ooooh the lady of the brothel and the lady in waiting and JACK JACK JACK

dads are. FIGHTING.

"but do not ask me to choose between a war, and a wife. i do not think youre going to like the answer"

"... but i demand your support. [...] do i have it?" [LONG ASS BEAT] "yes." HE SAID, YOU KNOW. !!!! LIKE A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"but max refused" BUT MAX REFUSED. BUT MAX. REFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"she's a breath away from winning that fight. for whatever reason, she wants to share the spoils with you" IM GOING TO SPILL OVER IM GOING TO DROWN IN A PUDDLE IM GOING TO GNAW ON MY HANDBONES AND TURN INTO A FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no no no noNO NO NO!! SHES BEEN FIGHTING THIS WORLD EVERY DAY SINCE SHE WAS BORN!!! DO NOT!!! MARRY HER OFF!!!! TO SOME WHITE MALE DIMWIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

youre forcing her to sell herself again, to be someone else's to belong to someone who does not deserve her nor her affections, to hide behind a white man, im not angry at the show or the writers i am thrilled to witness this fiction but FOR FUCKSSSS SAKEEEEEE THE STORY OHMY GOD!!!!! SHE IS THE CENTRAL PIECE!!!! TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"that... is a Very oldman"

silver still making sure. that no one does harm to flint. he fucking trusts that man. oh i am in so So much danger

"it's a fucking mess out here, come inside" ANNE. YOU AND YOUR WAYS!!!

SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO SHE SAID NO!!!!! I LOVE YOU MAX!!! DO NOT GIVE THEM AN INCH. GIRL YOURE MY EVERY.THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

"... because i refuse to situate a man in a position where he might interfere one day with my ability to repair things with you"

"you are the bravest ... the truest .... and i betrayed you [her voice breAKS] and it sickens me" IM IN THE FUCING TRENCHES.

"for failing to see there's nothing important that does not include you"

hey yo <3 the hurt and . tears in silver's eyes as he watches flint Fucking betray him. after everything. after all. burrowing mmy head in sand right now effective immediately. i hate this. I HATE THISSS. he's not gonna trust flint EVER again about ANYTHING, and flint is SO. he is SO GOING TO END UP LONELY FRIENDLESS ALL HIS CLOSEST COMPANIONS AND LOVERS AND PARTNERS D E A D BECAUSE THEY HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF EXISTING A HAIRS WIDTH TOO CLOSE TO HIM. HATE PREVAILS LOVE LOSES FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

ep9 "after i just climbed that fucking hill are you being serious right now?" heh. COMEDY.

god the fucking. gentle grins and smirks they share . to let pride get between them... and then they did. let it get there. right. i hate this show (i LOVE THIS SHOW???)

TALKIONIG ABOUT. LEARNIGN HOW TO DEFEAT YOU . :) THE GENTLE SMIRKS CONTINUE OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS AGONIZING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"on his own and disadvantaged countless times since i've known him... and here we are"

"i wonder if he knows just how much youve learned from him" ENDME.

we dont know who silver is.

"i'd be forced to hesitate before doing you any harm" hes putting silver in the same line as thomas and miranda.

"no seriously ive got quite a lot riding on this" JACKKKK

is this fucking bitch rogers blaming . MADI. of all people for eleanor death im going to k*ll this man

OK FAIR THE KNITTING NEEDLES CLICKING ELEANOR'S GHOST THING IS PRETTY EFFECTIVE

"i must answer to them" and "MY war." madi. fuckingchrist girl.

"THAT. YOU did." MADI RIP HIM TO SHREEEDDSSSSSS

flint bodily regretting his choice of companion as this guy will not fkcing Shut UP.

FLINT STILL. idk if this is care or plotting. BUT HE DOESNT WANT TO PART FROM SILVER

"that is to say you know my genuine friendship, and loyalty" im. going. to . scream

"can that be enough and there still be trust between us?" IM. GOING TO. SCREAM!

irrelevant to everything going on but my god the way flint is build. i'd like to look like this man thanks! gender OUTTTA the wazoo

THE OLD MAN LEADING JACK JUST FUCKING . DIED????????? NATURAL CAUSES?????? WHY ARE JACK'S STORYLINES ALWAYS COMEDIES IM LOSING MY MIND

THE THREE "mm-hmm's" JESUS

if flint fucking kills joji right now i will not be a happy camper i swear

god fucking fuck.

"it would be preferable to me if we solved this another way" AND WHY DO I STILL BELIEVE HIM!!!!!

"i know you cannot see why this must be. but it must be"

LIKE WAIT A MOMENTTTT silver i love your drive and love for your wife its only right <3 but fooor fucksake madi MADI HERSELF. ON THE ENEMY SHIP. is ACTIVELY SPITTING IN ROGERS FACE AND SAYING yeah whatre you gonna do kill me do it coward AND SHES LOOKING FORWARDDDD. PLEASE GIVE HER THE COURTESY OF DOING THE SAME.

mr de groot. i fucking despise the english.

"i have his true friendship, and so he's going to have mine" bruh.

ep10 ok i said i wouldnt comment on the last ep as i was watching but here me out. i hate that theres no fondness between them, at least not the sort that you(as a watcher?) can Reliably trust upon. its all just politics and selfish wants and needs and the flotsam and dead bodies that happen around you as you strive towards your goal. i hate that i cant trust jack!! and that flint cant trust jack!! and silver cant trust either of them!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. : D MOTHERFUCKER ALRIGHT !

#särmäs sermons #literature ramble #on a very personal note regarding this whole six months. loved the feeling of engaging my soft mousse of a brain to actually ponder at #themes and . meanings and characters on a deeper level than comedy/etc shows might force you to do. this is Not A Dig at comedies.#brother i live and breathe comedies. but as previously stated this was like PROPER DRAMA. AND I (ME!!! THIS FUCKING DUNCE????) WATCHED IT #AND GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT TOO!!!!#fuck this was fun. THIS WAS FUN. despite it alllll #a nothing post by yours truly once again 💖

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iantimony · 4 months

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i once again am overwhelmed by stupid busywork. Get Me Out

listening: finished the counter/weight prequel eps! feels good to be listening to a friends at the table thing in-time with when they're released, lol. i fully laughed out loud at the heartfelt moment between aria and hymn being interrupted by austin's fucking ice machine. incredible. no notes. "people are gonna go insane about aria in this one" keith you are SO right.

music for the week was the spotify release radar! just gettin some new tunes. i'm thinking of making a playlist that's just the songs that i like from release radar and the at the end of the year i can have a New Of 2024 list, idk. i AM going to try and be more discerning about what things i post, though - it would be very easy to just drop a huge list of all the songs on there that i kinda liked with no commentary but i think it'll be more fun to do fewer songs and actually talk about them, y'know?

philadelphia (matt maltese): feels like a mug of tea. very soft. nostalgic for something i've never seen. travels (rob blivion): really does seem like it should be playing over some indie film montage of someone travelling through mists in the scottish highlands. harsh truths (lemoncello): another indie soundtrack song. i think there's a bass in the background? although in retrospect i think it's a cello. lemoncello. duh. anyways it's very good. burning down the house (paramore): this is SUCH a fun cover. what can't paramore do for real. oh no::he said what? (nothing but thieves): BOUNCY. toe tapper. i am driving down a neon highway at 10000mph. coming home song (sammy rae & the friends): back to wistful and nostalgic. feels a certain kind of way especially right now because i am in the process of finding a new apartment, entirely alone for the first time. jolene (maneskin & dolly parton): speaking of really fun covers, yes yes yes. everything i would have wanted from this.

honorable mention to love me not (emei). i do not like this song particularly. it is stuck in my head though.

reading: fallow.

watching: just like last week: with the boyf, the newest dungeon meshi, i loved the way they animated the mimic. then some kill la kill. we're up to episode 11 now, almost halfway! also went to a superbowl party sunday. basically what you'd expect. fun socializing though.

playing: only had the one dnd last weekend, the one i run! went well. definitely was kinda sleepy and not as focused as i'd like. sigh.

making: mostly fallow...i cut out some of the border pieces for my handsewing project in a nice matching solid blue during the superbowl but have not attached any of it yet. started idly crocheting a rectangular prism-shaped object to use as a mtg deck case.

drew a little birthday card for my grandma i guess? mostly watercolor pencil, some prisma marker for the background. can't be assed to rotate it the right way, sorry, lol

pottery-wise, i did not take pictures but i have some fun interesting stuff in the works! biiiiig pot for my mom (got a little busted. but i think it'll make it). mug. glazing a bowl using sgraffito to carve out some waves (my roommate accidentally dinged the rim and i'm incorporating that into the design). did not take any pictures last week but i'll get some tomorrow for the next tuesdaypost.

eating: my roommate made a truly enormous focaccia in a 9x13 glass baking dish to cut into super bowl party sandwiches. they were delicious and we are still eating them for lunch basically every day. she also made a marinated beef bulgogi-type object, served over rice with veg and a fried egg and some spaghetti squash...yumb.

misc: i can't even be like "i just have to make it through this week" because i know next week will look literally exactly like this one (homework due wednesdays for one class, fridays (plus ANOTHER assignment alternating wednesdays) for the other). really bad vibes. just gotta make it through this week this semester.

#tuesdayposting #Spotify

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ogamagirl · 1 year

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is healin good pretty cure and delicious party pretty cure your favorite pretty cure seasons so far?

While I like both Healin Good and Delicious Party, neither are my favorite seasons! I actually was just thinking about my "ranking" the other day haha, so this is a good excuse to share it. I've only ranked seasons I've finished in full so far, and I'll note that I haven't actually disliked any season of Precure, I just like some more than others! (Also, obviously, this is my personal preference.)

Heartcatch/Suite (tie because Heartcatch was the first season I finished and it’s Heartcatch lol, Suite because it means a lot to me personally)

Smile

Hugtto

Star Twinkle

Fresh

Kira Kira a la Mode

Go Princess (most recently finished season, this past weekend!)

Healin Good

Tropical Rouge

Doki Doki

I'm about halfway through both Mahoutsukai and Happiness Charge - my current plan is to finish Mahoutsukai first and then Happiness Charge (I'm actually thinking of just straight up restarting it because I watched the first half while it was airing, but fell off it and tried picking it up again years later to find I forgot a lot of details, so I think it might be best to start from the beginning. Side note, I know both of these seasons are usually classified as "mid" by the fandom but I enjoy both of them quite a bit!)

I'm current with Delicious Party so I'll be finishing it in the next few weeks as the last episodes air.

I've seen a bit of both Futari wa and Yes 5, I'd say like 15 episodes each? Fun fact, my first season of Precure was Futari wa (the original) when I was in middle school but I never finished it and forgot about Precure for a couple years until I watched Heartcatch. I think I'm gonna save those two for last since they both have two seasons (Max Heart and Go Go, respectively). Which means the only season I haven't seen any of at this point is Splash Star. Some day...I will have watch all Precure...

#asks #precure

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chanfictions · 3 years

Text

Count - Pt. 2

Part 1 - Bonus Scene - Part 2 - Special Episode: Red - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Special Episode: Nightmares - Part 6 - Part 7 - Special Episode: Sick Day - Part 8 - Special Episode: Nightmares Pt. 2

18+ Content! Minors, DNI!

Kakuzu x Reader, Hidan x Reader

The Triumphant Return of Kakuzu the Brat Tamer with Special Guest: Daddy Kakuzu - rough sex, face fucking, some twisted flavor of knotting that I don't even know how to warn you for, Kakuzu's threads/tentacles doing things, choking, overstimulation, unprotected sex, degredation-ish, praise kink, daddy kink, size kink, bulges, some bondage, punishments that turn into funishments

5.1k

I'm going to fucking kill Hidan.

Filled with a gnarly mixture of disgust and rage, you slammed the door to the infirmary firmly on Deidara's laughing face after swearing off ever helping that nasty little OSHA violation again. A disgusted shiver climbed your spine as you wiped saliva from your face with the back of your forearm.

"Y/N, come on, it was only a joke!" Deidara's voice was muffled behind the door for a moment before twisting the knob and trying to rattle it open. The force of your little rage fit and your iron grip on the brass left it jammed.

You bashed your back into the door, making sure it stayed that way and barked over your shoulder. "You keep those slimy, cock-sucking paws to yourself, hairpiece. Have fun dealing with your burns without me. I fucking quit." Gagging at your own description of what he likely used those drooly hand-holes for, you furiously rubbed at your cheek to try to numb the phantom sensation of that vile, auxiliary tongue on your skin. The door behind you vibrated as the handle was jiggled furiously.

"What? You can't quit!" The words traveling through the door did little to sway your feelings on the matter. "You still have to heal me, you jerk!"

"Oh, I'm a jerk, am I?" Snarling, you abruptly yanked the door open, snatched Deidara's unreservedly luxurious ponytail, and slammed it into the door again behind you. You trudged away with a satisfied smirk curling at your lips, listening to the panicked shrieking behind you as Deidara fumbled to free his trapped hair.

Once again, you found yourself in the shared kitchen looking for liquor. Deidara's mere existence was enough to make you want to pickle your liver in whiskey. Unfortunately, though, your last little stomp through here ended with Hidan smashing the only bottle you had stashed away. With another hop and a swing of your leg, you climbed back onto the countertop to rummage through the cabinets for anything to make you unthink of what Deidara did with those palm pussies in his spare time.

"Oh, hello." Your eyes glimmered with excitement as you spotted something crammed far into the back corner of the shelf that you had somehow managed to miss until this point. Grumbling and cursing your unfortunate wingspan, you crawled halfway into the shelf to reach your dusty prize. And oh, what a prize it was. You blew the light film of dust off the bottle to reveal the text on the label and squealed with childish glee. Honey whiskey. You hadn't been able to find any in this region. How this bottle manifested in the cabinet was a mystery to you, but you didn't care. Nothing in the shared kitchen was sacred, so long as it didn't have a name on it. Biting your lip, you twisted the bottle about in your hand but saw no name scrawled upon it. Cramming down your unfettered excitement, you slid down from your perch after snagging a glass and poured yourself a nice, tall portion of brain melting goodness. The aroma made your heart flutter, and the taste was simply divine. With a satisfied groan, you swirled the amber ambrosia in the glass with a flick of your wrist before having another swig, feeling that delicious burn coat the back of your throat.

"Mmm, whatcha got there, half pint?" The sound of that voice sent you bristling all over again, having the most obnoxious sense of deja vu.

"I'll give you one guess." With a click of your teeth against the glass, you glared out from beneath your eyebrows at the current object of your rage. Hidan. A swift slap to the hand prevented him from snatching your glass like last time.

"Ooh, someone's in a mood again," he snickered with a cheeky smirk.

"I wouldn't be in a mood if someone hadn't gone and blabbed his big fucking dickhole to Deidara about my little confession in the bathtub." You spat the words like venom that threatened to spoil the sweet taste of liquor on your tongue.

Hidan threw his head back and roared with laughter, clutching his sides as he cackled. "Oh, so Deidara gave you a little kiss, eh?"

"I'm going to choke you with your own dick for that," you hissed, finishing your glass and pouring another. The blood trait that granted you accelerated healing capabilities also gave you serious tolerances to drugs and alcohol. Getting drunk required a concentrated effort.

Wiping away his tears of joy, Hidan pinched your cheek condescendingly. "Aw, you think you're so intimidating." When he released your face to avoid a toothy snap, he stepped around you to examine the bottle from which you had poured the treat you had no intentions of sharing. "Oh, baby, you really fucked up this time." A sadistic grin snaked its way across his face, igniting the fire with which you had become quite acquainted in the last few days.

"Oh no, I'm drinking on the job I don't get paid for. Someone punish me," you rolled your eyes as the sarcastically lusty moan fell from your lips. "Tch," you snorted before having another sip.

Possessed with giddy, excited laughter, Hidan leaned in and put his mouth right next to your ear as he murmured in a dark, devious tone, "That's Kakuzu's whiskey."

A shiver ran down your spine that sent confused signals straight to your clit. Contorting your face in a mixture of arousal and annoyance, you jerked backwards. "The fuck do you mean this is Kakuzu's whiskey? I don't see his name on it, and if he didn't want anyone else to drink it, he should have been so stupid as to leave it in a shared kitchen." You snatched the bottle again, examining the label incredulously.

A deep, raspy chuckle rumbled from directly behind you as a familiar panty-soaking presence made itself known. A thick, muscular arm reached over your shoulder and slid the bottle from your hand, holding it above your head. A tap beneath your chin prompted you to look upward, where you saw Kakuzu's name scrawled on a piece of masking tape stuck to the bottom. "My name is on it."

That familiar bubble of lusty, raunchy brattiness began swelling in your chest as the accompanying achy heat between your legs made an appearance again. Mustering your best snide look, you turned around with your glass still in your hand and took a nice, long, slow swallow while staring directly into Kakuzu's ever narrowing, menacing jade eyes.

Without any intention of backing down from the staring contest you had initiated, he set the bottle down on the counter beside him while stepping toward you. "Do you have any idea how much that bottle cost?" That gravelly threat rumbled through your bones and just put a twisted little smile on your face.

"Nope," you grinned with a pop of your lips, eyes still locked on his, holding your ground and refusing to concede defeat. "I don't get paid, so money really doesn't mean a damn thing to me." Still with that same haughty smirk, you finished what was left in your glass before setting it down defiantly. It took all of your willpower to not bite your lip and let out the lusty sound you were swallowing as you watched Kakuzu's eyes begin bubbling over with rage at your behavior. Perhaps he was ripe for antagonizing today.

That little moan you were holding in escaped in a sigh when he forcefully grasped your jaw in an iron vice. "I see that attitude adjustment didn't stick. You're still a nuisance," he growled.

Your eyes glazed over with desire as his fingers dug roughly into your face. You bit your lip to contain that swelling grin. "Uh oh, I made Daddy mad."

Hidan had to stifle a snicker behind you, knowing exactly how this was going to end. "Fuck, I'm gonna need some popcorn."

The gears in Kakuzu's head ground to a halt as that little word slapped him in the face before shifting him into overdrive. "Excuse me?" The grip on your chin tightened as he yanked you in closer.

With a devious giggle, you licked your lips before speaking again. "I said 'uh oh, I made Daddy mad.'" Watching Kakuzu absolutely malfunction over this was an otherworldly delight. You silently thanked Hidan for the pointer and considered absolving him of his transgression involving telling Deidara that tongues skeeved you out.

Kakuzu was well aware of what you were doing, as he had played this game of chicken with you before. You were trying to antagonize him into action, likely out of your own achy desperation to feel him split you in half again. But this time, you dropped that bomb on him. Daddy. That shit drove him wild, and the only way you would have known about pressing that particular button would be if Hidan opened his mouth and blabbed. Hidan's impending dismemberment notwithstanding, Kakuzu flamed with a very pressing urge to absolutely fuck the snot out of you. His cock twitched in his pants as he watched that smug little snicker curl at your lips as though you had won. "Do you know what happens to bratty little girls who call me that?" The husky depth of that growl rolled right through your core and soaked your panties. With that hungry smile still glued to your face and desire twisting your insides into knots, you kept your eyes locked on his, still challenging him. Before any more snark could roll off of your tongue, he yanked you forward until you were completely shadowed by him. He brought his face down to be level with yours, and a fire burned in those jade eyes that you hadn't seen before. "They get punished with Daddy's threads."

Your eyes widened. Forgetting about those creepy crawly things was a massive oversight.

"You little brats are all the same, thinking you can get the fun punishment you want by acting out," he sneered, staring through your costumed attitude and right into your twisted little soul. His thumb stroked your jaw as those eyes crinkled with what you assumed was a sick smile behind that mask. "Not this time, little girl. This time, Daddy has a special punishment just for you."

Something about that threat just made your clit throb and left an insatiable ache in your core. You knew you were about to be in for it, but holy hell did the way he was leering down at you make you hot. The gaze that had seen more battle and probably more pussy than you could ever imagine was fixed hungrily on you. Not one to back down just yet, you still stared back at him, though a touch of nervous anticipation began to stain your resolve. You just bit your lip and donned a cheeky smile, just to see how far you could push him before he snapped. "Oh, really?"

The deep laughter humming low in his chest seemed to be originating from the very depths of hell from which he had been summoned. Without a word, threads began to crawl down his arm toward your face, calling your little bravado fueled bluff. Your eyes widened as they wriggled under your jaw, tangling around your throat in several loops before slowly playing at the neck of your shirt all while you fruitlessly tried to twist your head away from his grip. "Really."

"K-kaku--" the whine escaping your lips was abruptly silenced by the slithering mass approaching your mouth.

"Try again," he snarled with that twisted smile still hidden beneath his mask.

You lost the staring contest for dominance the moment your eyes drifted to those threads. Oh, gods. He was going to make you say it and mean it this time. With a defiant shake of your head, you bit your lips shut, sucking them into your mouth to keep the inky things from trying to pierce them. The tension tightening around your neck made you sputter and gasp until you gave in. "Daddy," you finally whispered, as your face began tingling with static.

All through this exchange, Hidan was just watching with a devious grin, arms crossed over his chest in satisfaction. This was going to be good.

"That's better." The constriction around your throat eased up enough to allow you the necessary gulps of air to stay conscious, though you still felt a bit lightheaded. Kakuzu throwing you over his shoulder like a wet towel only made the issue worse, leaving your head spinning as he walked off with you like a prize. Hidan followed hot on his heels like an excited puppy back to the room where they collectively fucked the soul out of your body the first time.

Your heart thumped madly in your chest as a needy heat built between your legs in anticipation of whatever punishment Kakuzu had planned for you with the threads still tangled around your neck. It was no secret that you were soaked. Those things made your skin crawl, but you were left quivering in excitement just the same. It was positively intoxicating.

Still chuckling darkly with amusement over what he had in store, Kakuzu palmed himself through his pants for a moment to adjust the uncomfortable angle he was tangled in before dropping you on his bed and yanking you back toward him by the front of your pants. "Don't. Move." He growled those familiar words while pinning you down with a hand and loop of threads wrapped around your neck while pulling out a kunai. You eyed the blade nervously, wondering if knife play was about to be part of this little punishment game, which only made him snicker at you. "Look at you, still thinking you're going to get what you want from me." He taunted you with that edge while laying waste to your clothes, shredding your shirt and cutting right through your bra.

"Hey, I don't have--mmmphhh." Your little outburst of protest was silenced with a rough hand clamping over your mouth.

"Quiet." The bisyllabic word barked at you in such a biting tone may have been enough to silence you without the hand covering your mouth. As he kept it clamped there, more threads erupted from his forearm, taking control of your wrists and pinning them to the bed. Following the movements with wide eyes, your breath caught in your throat as more poured out and began crawling across your torso. A high squeak whistled out from your nose as they explored every inch of your exposed skin, causing you to squirm and wriggle to try to evade their touch. Several swirled around and tightly twisted your nipples, leaving you gasping in confusion over how you felt about this. The pointed ends sometimes felt like needles, threatening to adorn you with some new body jewelry.

Your eyes locked on his pleadingly as you whimpered and wiggled under their serpentine ministrations, wresting your arms against the surprisingly strong hold they had on your wrists, but all that got you was another mocking chuckle and ripped pants.

"Bratty little slut, soaked already," he taunted, sliding his free hand against the incredibly damp fabric, teasing you and brushing a heavy thumb against your clit. You moaned reflexively at the needed contact, grinding your hips toward his hand, only for the stimulus to be abruptly taken away. A knot tightened in your belly as you whined and arched into nothing, desperate for some friction. "Since your mouth keeps getting you into trouble, let's do something about that first." In one swift motion, he yanked your panties right off like a magician pulling a table cloth out from under a dinner setting and stuffed them in your mouth.

"Mmmnnfffffhhhhgggrrr." It was a good thing that was muffled, otherwise that insult would have landed you in even deeper shit than you already were. Twisting your face, you spat them out, only for him to grab you by the cheeks with bruising force, twisting you around on the bed until your head dangled off the edge, laying diagonally across a corner.

"Hidan." The way Kakuzu always snarled his partner's name would ordinarily make you giggle, but right now, it sent lusty jolts through your body. Kakuzu had decided that he was going to need help.

Ever eager to torment you, especially if it meant a good time for him, Hidan happily obliged and rose from his observation post on the couch. "Whaddaya need, partner?"

"Just shut her up," Kakuzu gruffed, gesturing to your half-agape mouth that was ready to hurl more snark at the pair.

That was an easy enough task. Hidan grinned down at you menacingly while tapping your cheek. "This time, I am going to fuck the smile off your face, and unlike Kakuzu, I'm not going to whine about teeth." He pulled his already throbbing erection from his pants, already worked up from watching Kakuzu rip your clothes off and stare you down. He gave the silky head a rub with his thumb while gripping the side of your face.

Too distracted by what felt like dozens of snakes crawling around and pinching your body, you didn't have the bandwidth to snap at Hidan and could only struggle to swallow that length and hope there weren't more threads coming. The slithering on your skin left goosebumps rising everywhere, and Kakuzu's throaty chuckles sent ripples of baited excitement through your body. You gagged, drool already starting to run down your cheeks as Hidan fucked your face like it was the last safe dickhole on the planet. You struggled to breathe around him as he repeatedly tapped the back of your throat, only backing off to give you air if your gagging became particularly desperate.

You let out a stifled shriek as you suddenly felt those tendrils exploring your now exposed lower half, nicking and teasing at the insides of your thighs until you twitched and nearly kicked Kakuzu in the chest, which only earned you another lashing of loops holding your legs open. They whipped repeatedly at your clit in rapid succession, leaving you wailing around Hidan's dick. You hated that you loved it. Contact was everywhere. Tendrils slithered over every sensitive inch of your torso and now began making their move elsewhere. You coughed and choked around the length in your throat as you felt them slowly slithering toward your quivering entrance, teasing around it, playing with your folds. Your hips bucked wildly trying to escape, but it was no use. Kakuzu knew exactly what he was doing when he set this up. There was no getting away.

Laughing at your predicament, Hidan gave you a moment to breathe and to taunt you. "Do you know what's gonna happen next, princess?" That inverted grin somehow made Hidan look even more devilish.

Not having the wherewithal to use actual words, you just left out a choked, gaspy whine, hearing more chuckling from Kakuzu.

"That's right, little brat. I meant what I said last time you acted up," he grinned while urging all of those little tendrils into action, painstakingly slowly letting them slither into you and press against your walls while others continued to torment your clit. One after another they crawled into your sopping little hole, wriggling and squirming as more and more joined in. It was overwhelming, leaving you straining against your other thready binds while Hidan kept your head right where he wanted it so that he could silence your coming screams again with his cock. The worst part was that Kakuzu was making you love this. Perhaps that's what he meant by a punishment. That mass of undulating mini-tentacles had the dexterity to press on your g-spot in ways no human appendage could. Your panicked screaming around Hidan's girth devolved into wild moans. "Tell Daddy how much you love having your little pussy stuffed by his threads."

Hidan generously gifted you with the use of your mouth, letting you gasp for air before you tried to form a reply. Your chest heaved under the continued torment from the inky lines twisting about your breasts and the others that had now wound their way around your torso like a corset. With snicker, Hidan gave your cheek a playful smack. "You might want to answer him before he gets cranky."

"L-love your threads, D-daddy," you stammered while trying to hold back the orgasm that was threatening to send you into orbit. "S-so f-full -- feels s-so -- fuuuck." Your eyes widened and your back arched as even more began crawling into you, stretching you and dancing in their tight confines. "Aaaah, p-please!" You whined, biting your lip as the knot of heat continued to build. Your walls fluttered around the growing mass and every little whip against your clit sent you closer and closer to the edge.

"Please, what?" Kakuzu goaded, thoroughly enjoying seeing you reduced to this drooling, panting, pathetic mess after what you started in the kitchen.

Biting your lip so hard you tasted iron, you mewled your next plea. "D-daddy can I--aaaah--" Your head fell back with a loud wail as you were unable to finish your question in time before the dam burst. The undulating, ever thickening mass never stopped massaging your g-spot. You never stood a chance. Waves of pleasure ripped through your body. Your walls clenched almost painfully around the growing mass as white hot light shot from your clit to your core.

Kakuzu snickered, pressing the heel of his hand against your soaked, pulsing clit, taking the place of the tendrils, rubbing circles as you writhed through that tsunami of an orgasm. "Little slut, you're enjoying your punishment, aren't you?" His gravelly voice vibrated through his arm and straight into your nerves. You couldn't form real words and just arched into his hand, moaning loudly. "Do you know what that means?" Gasping, you shook your head without being able to look at him. "It means that you need more."

Your eyes snapped open as you struggled to gasp for air, just in time to see what was coming. A massive, throbbing, pulsating knot was moving through the vines of tendrils erupting from the open seam in his forearm and making its way toward the ones stretching your pussy. "D-daddy, wait," you breathed anxiously, stammering over the syllables you were trying to organize on your tongue. "I'm sorry I drank your whiskey." You looked up at him desperately.

More of that gruff laughter rumbled from your tormentor. "You're only apologizing because you're in deep shit."

Okay, maybe that was a little true. A whine rattled in your throat as the pulsing knot pressed up against your already stretched hole.

"Be a good girl and take your punishment, and maybe I'll let you cum again."

All you could do was let out a pained moan as that hot, pulsating mass slowly began forcing its way into you. A wild arch formed in your back as your heels dragged along the bedding, trying to find an avenue of escape, but there was none. Your forward motion was halted by Hidan fucking your wide, moaning mouth, and Kakuzu's grip on your thighs. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as your little hole was slowly stretched and fucked to the brink of failure by his knot of threads. With a dirty chuckle, Kakuzu pressed a heavy palm down on your belly, feeling the writhing collection bulge and rock inside of you while the other remained where it was, applying heavy pressure and rubbing your clit. Stars exploded behind your eyes as a full body spasm rocked you to your core when the dam burst again. A hellish cry echoed from your heaving chest and you gushed all over Kakuzu and his sheets. The delightful agony in your wailing around his cock was enough to send Hidan over the edge with you, dumping a heavy load down your throat. You swallowed what you could between your choking, demonic cries, though much still dribbled out of your mouth.

"That isn't even all of it," Kakuzu smirked, smearing your slick all over your belly, watching in delight as that throbbing ball of tendrils continued to slowly rock and slither its way into you.

The sounds blaring from your mouth were no longer even close to being human. Hidan decided to help you breathe better by putting his hands on your shoulders and slowly pressing you down on the mass impaling you to get your head back on the bed, eliciting babbling cries from your lips and sending tears leaking into your hair. Liking how that made you squeal, Kakuzu took it a step further, dragging you down closer to him by your still ensnared wrists until the lively tangle seated itself fully in you, leaving you a sobbing, orgasm-drunk mess. With a satisfied hum, he kept grinding the heel of his hand against your puffy, overstimulated little nerve bundle. "Are you done being a mouthy brat?"

"Y-yes, Daddy," you cried, shivering with sobs at how incredibly full you were with that hot, pulsing amalgam of threads seated inside of you. You gasped again as Kakuzu continued to rub your clit with slow, heavy pressure. Your legs began trembling again and your walls fluttered and clenched. The taste of iron filled your mouth as you bit your lip and bucked your hips into his hand again, letting loose another hoarse cry, pleading with Kakuzu in an attempt to convince him you were going to behave.

Kakuzu snorted, taking his hand off of your abdomen and leaning over you so closely that you could feel the heat radiating from his chest through his clothes. "You aren't just saying that to get out of your little punishment, are you?" That growl rattled your soul again as you stared desperately up at him with misty eyes. He never stopped the motion that sent wave after wave of white hot shocks through your body. Stammering incoherently, you couldn't get another thought together.

Hidan just snickered, absolutely drinking the sight of your wrecked, tear streaked face. His fingertips ghosted your neck as you tried to plead your case with your eyes before he left to fetch the soon to be needed pile of towels.

Seemingly satisfied, Kakuzu's eyes twinkled with deviance as he still loomed over you with a twisted grin hiding behind his mask. Without saying another word to you, the knotted mass began pulling back toward him again, sending you right back into orbit with hoarse cries and broken breathing, your body possessed by shuddering orgasms as you were stretched open all over again. Chuckling, Kakuzu just continued rubbing your clit with the heel of his hand to let you ride out the blissful agony as the tendrils began slithering their way back out of you and sheathed themselves back into the stitching in his arm. After what felt like eons, you were achingly empty and breathing heavily. Before you had much of a chance to recover, Kakuzu dragged you closer toward him and flipped you onto your belly, yanking your hips back against his with a low, throaty groan. That rock hard cock had been waiting for you this entire time and twitched through his pants upon contact with your ass.

You absolutely ached, unsure that you could handle any more and whimpered at the contact. Kakuzu let out another rumbling growl as he freed his length from its cloth confines, rubbing its thick head through the slickness between your folds. "Tell me how badly you want this fat cock."

Completely broken by the sheer number and intensity of brain melting orgasms you just endured, you sobbed a reply into the mattress, trying to ride up into one of your trembling elbows. "Please, Daddy," you mewled. "So empty, I n-need it." Your voice cracked under the weight of your admission. Kakuzu won.

With a victorious grunt, he sheathed himself in you with little warning by grabbing your hips and pulling you back. "Good girl, still so tight and wet for me after all of that."

You nearly wept at the sheer, glorious intensity that filled you along with the rare, joyous gift of pre-aftercare words of praise. Even as he yanked your hips up and slammed you so hard that you nearly couldn't breathe, you relished every word, stammering and babbling around your moans. "T-thank you D-aaaahhh-addy -- so good, I -- ahh!" You bit into your bicep to muffle the oncoming screams as one of his hands snaked back between your legs to strum your overstimulated clit to make you sing like a banshee queen.

Kakuzu let out another low, rumbling growl, feeling you clench and flutter tightly around him as your whole body trembled, and you gushed again. He picked up the pace, only causing more escalation in your wails. You couldn't hold your torso up anymore and collapsed into the bedding as he chased his own release using your body. Your fingers tangled into the sheets as another muffled cry erupted from your throat. That last torrent of pulsing waves wrecking your body pushed Kakuzu over the edge. A litany of curses escaped under his breath as he gripped your hips roughly and rutted into you, filling you to the brim with heat.

Your teeth chattered and static clung to your vision as those last waves began to slowly recede, leaving you a shuddering mess beneath the mountain lurching over you. With one arm curled under your hips and the other planted next to your head, he eased you back down on the mattress, letting the mess spill down your thighs.

Hidan returned just in time with an armful of towels and chucked one at the back of Kakuzu's head, which his partner easily caught without looking and tucked it under you. He left a heavy hand pressing firmly on your back, sinking you into the bedding, knowing how grounding pressure was for you after something that intense. He used a corner to wipe the dribble of cum that had spilled down your inner thighs, chuckling as you recoiled. "You're done." He sat down on the edge of the bed and dragged you into his lap, letting you lean into his chest to bury your panting face against him.

When you finally regained your ability to speak and had your head just resting softly against his shoulder, you mumbled out the question that had been bouncing about in your head. "That's… that's two, right?" You asked in an airy breath.

Deep, gravelly laughter hummed in your ear as he brushed sweaty hair away from your face. "That one was a punishment. It doesn't count."

#akatsuki x reader #kakuzu x reader #kakuzu smut #hidan x reader #hidan smut #naruto x reader #naruto smut #daddy kakuzu #chanfictions

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huenjin · 3 years

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"i am never, ever, going to one of jisung's parties again."

you shift in your 'seat' to try and get comfortable which results in the person underneath to emit a low groan, hot breath fanning against your ear causing goosebumps to rise all over. it's such an inappropriate scene, the way changbin has you perched on his lap, firm hands on your hips to stop you from moving around too much. "comfy, princess?" he rasps, and you have to bite your lip from making any sounds you know will boost his ego. it's already sky high as it is. god you could almost feel the raging hard-on if you leaned further back, even just a little.

it's hyunjin's fault. you blame it all on hyunjin for dragging you there because he said you needed to "have fun and let loose" after 2 weeks of stress and sleepless nights during final exams. you really do appreciate his thoughtfulness, and he's not wrong for the most part, it's just that you would've preferred staying in to binge watch the latest episodes of private lives on netflix. you're so behind on the drama it's frustrating. but when he offered to buy you new clothes for the halloween party, you figured why not? there's no loss with those terms are there?

wrong. hyunjin just conveniently forgot to mention that your natural enemy seo changbin would also be there. and that he'd be hot as fuck dressed as a policeman. if you were being brutally honest you'd like for him to lock you up and use those handcuffs for you, but it's well known around the campus that y/n and changbin do not go together. you bicker, you fight, you squabble every single time you're in the same room, let alone the same space. he riles you up like no other, and you challenge him like none has.

the sexual tension though? un-fucking-believable.

in changbin's defense, you didn't have to look so sexy in that air hostess costume. a flight attendant? he'd love for you to attend to his needs instead. it's true, the both of you can't stand each other but what's a bit of hate sex can't fix? "probably everything." was what his best friend and fellow roommate chan had said. he might be true, but that won't stop changbin from trying now will it? no, of course not.

"truth or dare y/n?"

curse that beer bottle for landing in your direction twice in a row. the first ended up with you in that position. and now? it's about to get real. so there's two options. either you get zapped by the lie-detecting machine or pick a lousy dare. both you're sure will only end up in your misery because your whole group of friends will forever try and get either you or changbin to break and get into each other's pants (or skirts) already. there's no giving up in their dictionary unless when it comes to studying.

"dare."

changbin whistles at your decision, his intense stare burning holes at the back of your head as he removed one of his hands to rest on your bare thigh. every touch of his fingertips sends tingles up your spine, core starting to drip with want. the longing, the need to be filled is overwhelming that your brain turns into mush and all rational thoughts are out the window.

"i dare you.. to kiss changbin. french style, if you will."

fuck it, you thought. you want a show? fine, i'll give you a show.

in the blink of an eye you've switched positions to straddle his lap, taking off the hat he's wearing and placing it on yourself before leaning in to capture his lips with yours. he smirks during the kiss, feeling victorious at you finally giving in at your desires. under different circumstances you'd want to slap that smirk right off, but now you're in too far to care.

it's animalistic, how he has in tongue in you within a split second after giving your ass cheeks a particularly harsh squeeze. the gasp you let out encourages him to move lower and lower to where you need him most. the sucking and biting he litters under your jaw would be future y/n's problem to handle in the morning because right now, you're putty in his hold. the purple and red marks are a sign, a warning. this is seo changbin's territory.

your hands around his neck, tangled in his soft locks earns a string unholy moans you're sure you'll never get tired of hearing. he knows damn well what he's doing. not one sweet spot of yours did he miss, and by the end of it he has your dress bunched up around your waist, lower half grinding down on his crotch.

"fuck, princess, you're so beautiful."

the action has you seeing stars, pure bliss fuelling your veins which keeps you going on and on and on. every drag gets you higher and god does it feel good. when his lips find yours again his thrusts meet you halfway, sinful moans getting swallowed by the wet muscle exploring the vast of your mouth. his taste is your favourite flavor yet.

you well and truly lost it when his dominance takes over. "you're tired hmm? it's okay princess let me take care of you." the flex of his thigh and the way he's pressing you down so that your clit rubs deliciously against the material of his pants has you keening. the words slipping out of his mouth are downright filthy, the knot in your stomach so awfully tight you're afraid it'll snap without caution.

"b-bin- changbin please.."

the audacity of this man to send you a devilish smirk after all you did was be a good girl for him.

"please what, princess? you're so pretty begging for me like this aren't you?"

his praises, god his praises could send you to heaven and back. you live off of him being proud of you, complimenting you as if you're fully his. he owns you. all of you.

"please.. don't s-stop. ah i'm so close. p-please."

"since you asked so nicely."

one strong pull and you're spurting hot white fluid all over his thigh. your newly bought lace panties, needless to say is drenched and ruined from the intense orgasm you had but fuck was it worth it. he chuckles when you pant, soothing you through your high with more praises that has you whimpering for more.

"sensitive are we princess?"

you blush bright red as he takes a good look at you, the condition you're in making you avoid eye contact in embarrassment. hiding your face in his chest, he runs his fingers through your hair and laughs when you hum appreciatively.

"cute."

then you realise the rest of the the room is empty except for the both of you. for once you're actually glad jisung hosted this party because his huge mansion has plenty of rooms to occupy. the door though, is left wide open. so much for privacy.

"do you still hate me?"

he asks out of the blue, catching you completely off guard. you lean back and stare up at him, tilting your head as if he's just asked something ridiculous. he chuckles again, seeming whipped at how cute you were being in response to his question.

"i've never hated you."

"really? then why do you get mad when i flirt with you?"

"because!!!!"

fuck, this is not a post sex kind of conversation.

"because you flirt with literally everyone, bin. i wanted to hide the fact that i do like you so i pretended i didn't."

you expected him to say sorry for playing with your feelings, or at least apologise for giving you mixed signals but all he does is smile sheepishly.

"what? why are you smiling?"

"you called me bin. only my close friends and loved ones call me that."

"and?"

"we're dating as of now."

#changbin smut #from nara #big brain nara #stray kids smut #love parcels #THE WAY THIS IS WRITTEN AHAGAJAJ OMG NARA ILY AND YOUR BRAIN <333 #sparklemin #submission

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 4 years

Note

Hi! You're by far my favorite writer for the man himself so I wanted to ask you.. can we plleeasse get a super sweet and passionate morning sex smutty-fluffer with Mr. Washington? Maybe the two of them had a stressful week at work/school or something and they decided to drive up to the lodge to escape by themselves for a long weekend together?? I'm on a massive Josh kick right now, there isn't enough love for him 😫😫

13. sleepy sex 14. being ridden

Another perfect place to answer two requests—I’m feeling accomplished! I love you all so much 💋

Also, this sucker is almost 3,000 words. I SWEAR I try to answer your prompts quickly on days like this, but sometimes, a story happens. Well, if this can even be considered a “story” 😆

* * * * *

Every year, Josh Washington hosted one hell of a summer-kick-off party at his parents’ lodge. He watched the weather like he was auditioning for a job on the local news, carefully choosing the warmest, clearest day. Despite the label of “summer,” the temperature in the Rockies at the lodge only ever flirted with anything near 75°F (23°C) yet Josh insisted, every year, that it was a “pool party” and that guests shouldn’t wear much more than a swimsuit.

At least that’s what your mutual friend, Chris, had explained to you.

It had been a stressful final month of school—exams, moving out of your dorm and back home with your parents, finding a summer job—so when Josh finally chose a date for the party, you requested the weekend off and offered to help him get things set up.

Josh eyed you suspiciously, considering that you and he had been engaged in a sort of “will they, won’t they” dance for the past few months. You were locked in a battle wondering if he just wanted to check you off his list as another notch in his bedpost, and he was wondering if you even liked him as more than a flirting buddy, considering you seemed to have quite a lot of those.

“You sure?”

“Totally!”

Josh took your phone and typed in the address for the lodge. “Can you come up Thursday? That way we have all day Friday to get ready.”

You nodded and plucked your phone out of his hand, but not before he tightened his grip, making you look up and smile at him as you tugged on it.

“Gimme. Or I won’t come up at all.”

Josh released his grip with his trademark grin before he schooled his features into a contortion of pain as he gripped his chest. “Call the medic! I’m wounded. My heart’s been plucked from my chest,” he exaggeratedly panted.

You tried to stifle your grin, knowing it only encouraged his antics, but how could you not smile at that adorable goof?

* * *

The drive up to the Washington Lodge was fantastic for your stress level—nothing but empty roads, gorgeous scenery, and all the cheesiest, upbeat pop music you could cram onto a playlist. When you finally parked your car behind Josh’s in the horseshoe driveway, you were humming the lyrics of the last song as you pulled your weekender bag from the backseat.

After you slammed the door shut and rounded the car, you looked up at the lodge and whistled.

“Jeee-sus.” You knew Josh’s folks were rich, but this was the kind of rich you had only ever seen on Instagram … or maybe on an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. It was so intimidating, it made you think twice about Josh.

He was just so … normal. Well, normal in a film-nerdy, goofball kinda way, but he never struck you as someone who grew up in a bubble of privilege.

It was close to 8:30 pm, but daylight still persisted and the pinkish sky lit up Josh’s face as he stepped onto the porch and looked down at you while you still stared open-mouthed at the lodge.

“Was the drive okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah it was great,” you said as you shook your head and climbed the stairs. “Josh—this place is … insane.”

“You’ve never been here?”

You shook your head no.

Josh frowned and thought for a moment. “I guess I forgot we haven’t known each other that long. You sure feel like an old chum, lil buddy,” he said as he slung an arm around your shoulders and walked you into the house.

“Chum? ‘Lil’ buddy?” you said with amusement.

Josh cleared his throat and removed his arm, nervously running one hand through his freshly cut hair. “What else should I call you?”

You bit your lip and looked up at him, a small smile on your face. “Guess we’ll see, huh?”

Josh grinned, his face lighting up as his white teeth flashed, and butterflies unexpectedly danced in your stomach.

“Let me show you around.”

* * *

The house was just as impressive on the inside, and when Josh finally showed you his room, you flopped on his king-sized bed and begged him to never make you leave. He laughed and made you promise not to move a muscle as he dashed out of the room, returning in about 15 minutes with food, drinks, extra pillows, and a stack of DVDs tucked under his chin as he tried to balance it all. He kicked the door shut, nearly spilling a bowl of popcorn he had tucked under his arm.

“Now you’re my prisoner,” he attempted to declare, but given the comical way he was shuffling toward the bed, you could do nothing other than laugh.

As he deposited everything onto the comforter, you asked, “DVDs? Is there even a TV in here?”

“Au contraire, lil lady. Behold!”

Josh walked over to the wall and slid the wooden paneling open, revealing a huge flatscreen. “Ta-da!”

“I really could stay here forever,” you mumbled as you kicked off your shoes and scooted to the top of the bed.

“But don’t you think you’d be more comfortable in your PJs? Unless, of course, you sleep in the buff? And in that case, you would absolutely be more comfortable in your PJs,” Josh finished as he settled onto the bed next you, his elbow propping him up as he laid on his side to face you.

“If I came out of your bathroom naked, you wouldn’t even know what to do with yourself, Joshua Washington.”

“You’re right. I’d die of happiness,” he confirmed with a smile.

The room felt a lot hotter than it did a moment ago, so you sat up and looked down at Josh, his big green eyes bursting with affection.

“Let’s see how the night goes,” you promised with a sweet kiss to the tip of his nose.

* * *

As it turned out, the night passed chastely. You were a lot more tired than you had thought, and halfway through the first movie, your hand still sitting in the bowl of popcorn, you fell asleep.

When your breathing deepened and it became clear you weren’t going to wake up, Josh chuckled as he removed your hand from the bowl. He cleared off the bed and turned off the TV before snuggling into your side and quickly falling asleep.

Sunlight streaming through a huge window woke you up with a start. For a moment, you forgot where you were until you shifted under the weight of Josh’s arm. You smiled as you felt him stir, the arm wrapped around your waist tightening as he burrowed between your shoulder blades, probably trying to unconsciously hide from the sun.

Squinting, you shuffled out of bed and fiddled with the blinds until you figured out how to draw them. The room darkened to a greyish hue and Josh rolled over, seemingly still asleep. Since you were up, you went in to use the bathroom, and as you washed your hands in the sink, you looked at your reflection.

A slight blush colored your cheeks as you thought about how much you wanted to wake up like this again, preferably after figuring out if the big dick jokes the boys directed at Josh were because he actually was well-endowed or if they were just being idiots.

You had left your bag in here after changing last night, so you dug around for your toiletry case to retrieve your toothbrush.

After adjusting your tank top and sleep shorts, you gave your just-brushed hair a sexy tousle and glanced longingly at your lip gloss container.

“Too much,” you said with a dismissive shake of your head. You piled everything back into your bag, and exited the bathroom, hoping Josh was still asleep.

As you rounded the corner the bathroom was tucked into, you felt that familiar hot flush creep over your cheeks as you took in Josh’s form.

In your absence, he had sprawled out in the middle of the bed. He was on his stomach, his hands tucked under his pillow as he faced away from the window. His chocolatey-colored curls had lost their definition in the night and stood out against his light-grey pillowcase in a wild puff. The blankets were pushed down to his waist and the plain white t-shirt he had worn to bed was pushed up to his midback, exposing an expanse of light brown skin. His legs were spread, one foot sticking out from under the messy pile of blankets and you had to tamp down the temptation to see if he was ticklish.

You slid back into bed and settled on your side so you could face him. Tentatively, you reached out with your finger and ran it gently down his spine. His skin was smooth and the depression of his spine contrasted so deliciously with the strong muscles of his lower back that you wanted nothing more than to trace that indentation with your tongue.

Still touching him lightly, Josh stirred, his arms flexing as he stretched them before lifting his head and turning to look at you.

“Hi,” he said, his grin half-hidden by his bicep.

“Good morning.”

“Sorry. Forgot to pull the blind.”

“So you were awake?”

“Just waiting to see how much of me you’d touch if you thought I was asleep. Pervert,” Josh teased.

You opened your mouth in mock-offense and smacked his shoulder. “Rude.”

He chuckled and stretched again before he wriggled out from the blankets and stood, offering a mumbled, “Be right back,” as he made his way to the bathroom.

Josh wasn’t gone long, but it was long enough for your eyes to slip shut, a smile still on your face as you thought about him.

When you felt the bed dip, your eyes popped open.

“Sleepy girl?” Josh asked, his hand crawling under your tank top to rest on your bare stomach.

The heat radiating from his palm scorched through your body, a pool of arousal settling between your thighs.

“Not anymore,” you whispered as you looked at him, your eyes locked on his as you slid your hand along his arm, resting it on top of his.

Josh pulled his hand from beneath yours, off of your stomach and up to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek and slid closer, his body warm and connected with yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

In answer, you pulled him to you by the front of his shirt, causing both of you to softly sigh as your lips connected and began to move. You both tasted like the spearmint of Josh’s toothpaste, and when his tongue licked along the seam of your lips, you opened for him, the tips of your tongues touching before he dove into your mouth.

You kissed and kissed and kissed until you were both a panting mess, the blankets twisted around your legs, your once-sexily tasseled hair once again a mess, and Josh’s poof of curls even more wild than they had been against his pillow from you running your fingers through them, scraping across his scalp and around the back of his head.

Reaching for the bottom of his t-shirt, you tugged until he detached himself from your mouth so he could pull it the rest of the way off. You seized the momentary lull to push him onto his back, and as you sat up, you pulled off your tank top, Josh’s pupils dilating as he watched your breasts bounce.

Immediately, his hands reached for them, but you pulled back as you wiggled out of your shorts. Josh licked his lips and followed suit, pulling off his sleep pants. You glanced at the outline of his cock beneath his boxer-briefs and smirked.

“They weren’t just jokes,” you mused as you reached out and gripped him, pulling a mix between a moan and a chuckle from his throat.

It was your turn to control the kissing, so you straddled his hips and lowered your body to rest on top of his, once again relishing in the warmth of him and the masculine scent that seemed to be a mixture of expensive cologne and something that was just … Josh.

His hands roamed over your back and your backside, kneading and massaging as you kissed him—lips, jaw, neck, and when you sat up to catch your breath, he begged, “Ride me. Please.”

Again, that electric heat shot through your body and you knew your pussy was a mess for him. He reached up, finally able to wrap his big hands over your breasts, and you leaned back, grinding on his cock as he worked your nipples gently pulling on them before he leaned up to capture one in his mouth.

You shuddered as he sucked, his green eyes looking up at you, full of unabashed want and affection. He moved his mouth to your other nipple and you thought you might spontaneously combust if you didn’t slide his dick inside of your body within the next three breaths.

“Do we need protection? I’m on the pill.”

“Are you asking me if I’m a slut?” Josh said as he nuzzled between your breasts.

“Yes,” you answered, not caring if it sounded callous.

“I’m clean—and you?” he queried, laying back onto his pillows.

“Me too,” you answered before pulling down his underwear and moaning as you palmed his dick.

“Such a big boy,” you praised before looking up at him. “Tell me why we waited this long?”

“How about after we fuck?” Josh suggested, leaning up to tug at your panties.

With a huff of laughter, you slid your underwear off and returned to straddle him, sliding your soaking pussy lips over his cock until it glistened.

A whiny moan slid out from Josh as he watched and his strong hands reached up to grasp your hips and tilt them, the tip of his cock finally sliding inside your body. You adjusted the top half of him, sliding up and down a few times before taking him in all the way, both of you letting out a whoosh of breath once he was fully sheathed.

“Oh my god,” you groaned as your eyes rolled back at the sensation of his big cock. “Wow!”

Josh snorted and gave your ass a light smack.

“See what you were missin’ out on?”

“Mmm,” you hummed as you began to ride him, slowly and purposefully, not wanting your first time together to be over in a flash.

“You feel so fucking good,” Josh stated as his hands slid over your body. “So good.”

The rhythm you settled into was natural, even lazy, like you had been fucking for years. It felt so right, to be here with Josh, to feel him moving inside of you as you locked eyes, both of you shedding your protective layers and letting yourselves feel exposed, finally knowing that all each of you would see in return would be a sweet tenderness, the kind that could easily turn into love.

“Touch me,” you breathed, leaning back to rest your hands on his thighs so he could have full access to your clit.

Josh’s fingers immediately went to work, stimulating your swollen clit. The sweat blossoming across his brow in tandem with the flush of red settling over his chest told you he was trying his best not to come before you did.

“Come, Josh. Come for me,” you commanded as you clenched your inner walls around him and swirled your hips.

His thumb stuttered across your clit until he couldn’t do anything other than grasp your hips, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass bruisingly as he cried out, his hot cum flooding your pussy while you rode him through his climax.

He looked beautiful as he came, his eyes widening before slamming shut as a series of gravelly groans fell from his parted lips.

Swallowing for breath and still hard inside of you, Josh flipped you onto your back and reached between your thighs, furiously working your clit until you came, clenching around his softening cock.

Josh said something to you, but you couldn’t hear him over the roar of blood in your ears. You shook your head and raised your hand, silently begging him to give you a minute.

Josh placed light kisses across the heated skin of your chest, before shifting slightly so his weight wasn’t crushing you.

“What was it you said?” you asked when you could finally form a sentence.

Josh looked into your face, smiling. “That good, huh?”

You giggled and smacked his shoulder, again. “That was not what you said.”

His face turned serious as he nodded, clearly building his resolved to repeat his spontaneous emission.

“Will you be my girlfriend? I … I don’t want this to just be a one-time thing.”

You were speechless as your eyes roamed his face, your mind wondering how you got so lucky.

“Yeah. I wanna be your girl, Josh.”

“Fuck yeah!” he yelled, rolling over and pumping his fist into the air before he pulled you back on top of him, his hands tangling in your hair to pull you down for a kiss.

You pulled away after a minute to ask, “Can we cancel the party? Just do this instead?”

“And miss a chance to see you prancing around in a swimsuit for hours, knowing I get to tear it off of you at the end of the night?”

Your body flushed with a familiar warmth as you grinned. “Guess I didn’t think about it like that.”

“I can’t wait to show you off,” Josh whispered against your lips, both of you smiling as you exchanged sweet kisses.

#SMUT #Josh Washington x reader #female reader #josh washington #Josh Washington smut #Rami Malek characters

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the-last-airblender · 3 years

Text

Chapter 5: The Siege (part 1)

You gaze after him until he’s out of sight again, the same strange feeling from before distracting you to the point where you only notice the footsteps when they are right behind you.

This is part of the Run series, check out the masterlist for the other chapters

Word count: 9,2k whoops

Notes: Din Djarin x fem reader. As you can probably tell by the title, this is a AU/retelling of the season 2 episode. The whole destroy-the-base-storyline is still there, but I’ve changed the story a bit so that you can have an active role in it instead of simply following Din around. It includes a scene very much inspired by this particular tiktok hehe. I had to post this in two parts since I reached the post limit lmao.

Warnings: violence, swearing, feelinggggsss owyeahh

Summary: Cara Dune and Greef Karga ask Din to help them destroy a secret Imperial base. As it turns out, you’ve just scored an invitation to the party taking place in the mansion the base is hidden beneath.

You look up from your book when the cockpit starts to get lighter by the minute. A glance outside tells you that you have entered Nevarro's atmosphere and a wide, rocky, volcanic landscape stretches out before you as far as the eye can see. Although Duugan is mostly covered in sand, the two planets are quite similar in their apparent desolation. On Duugan people are forced to settle near the places where water can be found, making agriculture -and therefore survival- possible. You’ve often gone into the desert at dusk to sit on top of a large dune and watch the sun sink into the sea of sand. The beautiful colors the sky had turned in those moments had often put you in such a state of calm and wonder that you wouldn’t return home until it was too cold to sit still any longer. Duugan is a beautiful planet and its inhabitants are warm and hospitable. Too bad your now… complicated home situation will keep you from ever returning. You didn't have many friends there, but there are certainly people apart from Samick and Avlin that you will miss. However, after all that has happened, you aren’t sure if they will trust you anymore. The stories that are undoubtedly already being spread about you don't even have to deviate very much from the truth to scare them off. Certainly not for-

'Kira!' you blurt out.

The Mandalorian startles. 'What?'

'My girlfriend', you sigh, putting your forehead in your hand in desperation. 'Well, my would-have-been-girlfriend. She probably heard of my first escape and now she's going to hear how I killed my father and several guards and fled the planet… '

Din can't stop the wave of disappointment flowing through him and forces himself to say: 'He might have survived, if they got him to a good doctor. It's not like you stabbed his heart. '

The way you slightly shrink in your chair tells him that his remark wasn't quite as uplifting as he'd hoped.

'Still', you say, 'she hates violence and I'm fleeing halfway through the galaxy. Even if I found a way to see her again, there's no way she'd even want me anymore. Ugh, I always do this!' You rub your face in frustration. 'Every time I have a good thing going with someone, my recklessness sweeps in and ruins it. Last time, my ex and I were at a bar and when a girl came onto him, my drunk ass punched her in the face.'

Din silently smiles, for more than one reason. He would pay good money to see you drunkenly punch a flirting girl.

'Also, I ... might or might not have ... thrown a knife at her. If it wasn't for the alcohol, I would've hit and probably killed her. Needless to say, he immediately broke up with me.' You cringe at the memory. 'Luckily, my dad never found out.'

A silence falls as he starts the landing. When you look out the window again, you see that you’re just outside a town that appears to have been dug out of the rocky hills. A gigantic freestanding gate gives access to a wide street that is flooded with people. Vendors advertise their wares under self-fashioned sunscreens and people walk in and out of the houses embedded in the hills. Clouds of dark dust rise up as the Crest touches down and much to your surprise, you appear to be awaited. A dark-skinned man in a long coat and a very muscular woman slowly approach the ship, while Din shuts down the engines and gets up from his seat. You hastily put your book in your bag and hesitantly stop him when he’s about to leave the cockpit.

'Look, I need you to know that I'm eternally grateful for your help', you say, looking straight at where his eyes should be. 'And I'm sorry for everything that happened to you because of me-'

‘None of the things that happened there were your fault’, he interrupts.

For a moment you are dumbfounded, not entirely sure if you agree with him. 'Still, thank you. I was so relieved when you showed up. I don't really know what I would've done if you hadn't.'

'You would've found a way', he says, sounding so sure that you look away, your cheeks reddening. 'Besides, you did the most work in that courtyard.'

‘That's not true, my brother was a great help’, you shrug shily.

For a moment, he doesn't answer. Then he remarks: 'Chavez got away.'

You manage to keep your face neutral. 'I noticed.'

'Do you think he'll come after you?'

'Nah, he's got a city to run. Besides, he wouldn't be able to find me even if I walked around with a big-ass target on my back.'

'Good.'

The pod floats after him as he climbs down the stairs and before you follow him, you quickly wipe the dust off your face and loosely re-drape your headscarf. You throw your bag over your shoulder and climb down the stairs. As you walk through the hull and past the now empty pod to the lowered platform, voices reach your ears.

'And you, come here, little one! Has Mando been taking good care of you, huh?'

You smile at the tone clearly intended for the childs and hesitate for a moment, fiddling with your dress.

'Looks like you two have been busy', you hear the Mandalorian say.

'I myself have been steeped in clerical work', says the other male voice again. 'Marshal Dune here is to be thanked for cleaning up the town.'

Your hand grabs the handle of the dagger on your belt for a moment and with a deep sigh you muster all your courage. Then you step into the sunlight and walk down the platform to where two pairs of eyes immediately turn to you. All of a sudden you are very aware that you’re still dressed in your red wedding dress and that the gold paint on your arms glistens in the sunlight. Even though you've put your jewelry in your bag, you know you're more out of place than a shellfish in the desert. Determined not to show Din’s two friends your nervousness, you stop next to the bounty hunter.

'I knew I saw a beautiful face looking down on us,' the man says jovially, still holding the child, who clearly met him before, in his arms. 'Aren't you going to introduce us to your lovely companion, Mando?'

'These are Greef Karga and Cara Dune', says Din, after which he introduces you to them.

'Nice to meet you', you smile politely.

Dune sizes you up, no doubt wondering why the hell you look so dressed up.

'Where are you from?', she asks.

'Duugan.'

'Ah. How do you know this guy?'

'He... got me out of a bad place. Literally.'

She nods slowly and seems to settle for this vague answer for now. Then she turns to Din. 'Come, I want to show you something.'

As you pass through the meter-high gate, you ask nobody in particular: 'Is there a market here somewhere? I could use a new outfit.'

Karga points to a street on your left.

'There is a bazaar over there', he replies. 'You can meet us at my office when you're done.'

'Thanks! See ya'.'

You turn into the street before you can hesitate, your dress blowing in the wind. The staring eyes of the locals don’t escape you and you suddenly can't wait to get changed. The only other piece of clothing you have with you is your blue dress, which was still in your bag and is no less notable, so you will have to get some practical clothes. When you enter the network of streets full of shops and stalls, where many others are also doing their shopping at the moment, you curiously let your gaze glide over the merchandise. In addition to clothing, the vendors offer beautifully woven carpets, household items and all kinds of food that you’ve never seen before, from prickly fruit to delicious-smelling soup and crates full of strange-shaped nuts. As the chaotic mixture of scents enter your nose, you suddenly realize how hungry you are. A little later you’re, now a large piece of vegetable pie richer, looking at a stall with bizarre fruit, when a rough voice catches your attention.

'What’s a girl dressed like you doing on a planet like this?'

Annoyed, you look back at the messy-dressed boy who is looking at you with a grin that promises nothing good. Wisely, you decide not to dignify his question with an answer and turn back to the fruit, munching on the cake.

'Hey, I asked you something!'

Ignoring the boy, you point to a bright yellow egg-shaped fruit and ask the seller what it is. Just as he starts to answer, a strong hand grabs your pie-arm.

'Don't ignore me, you bitch!', the boy snarls.

Within a second, the point of your dagger is against his throat. His face turns white as a sheet and when the grip on your arm loosens, you calmly take another bite of your cake. He raises his hands defensively and walks back slowly, but you don't lower the dagger just yet.

'No need to get all aggressive', he grumbles, suddenly not so brave anymore.

You snort at his hypocrisy and look at him with your signature penetrating look.

'Don't you dare lay a hand on me', you growl. 'If you get near me again, I will literally stab you in the fucki- oh, dresses!'

Suddenly, you’ve forgotten all about the creep and you walk right past him to the stall on the other side of the street, while he looks at you in confusion and then quickly runs off. With your dagger still in your hand, you admire the simple but practical-looking clothing on display. The green-skinned salesman is watching you nervously, happy with the interest but a little afraid of your weapon. Just as your gaze falls on a long, dark green skirt, a warm smile reaches your ear. To your right stands a blond-haired young man wearing a light blouse and dark brown trousers, his hands in his pockets. The smile on his face is entirely different from that of the other boy, yet you don't put your dagger away just yet and you stay where you are.

'You'd think people were smart enough not to mess with heavily armed women’, he says, amused.

You give him a smile. 'There are stupid people on every planet.'

'I'm sure you're right.' He strolls over and holds out his hand. 'I'm Hal.'

After a moment's hesitation, you put the dagger back into its sheath and shake his hand.

‘Our friend handled it quite badly, but he asked the question that the whole town would undoubtedly want an answer to', Hal says as you put the last piece of cake in your mouth, wipe your hand on your dress and pick up the skirt to get a better look at it. 'Don't get me wrong, you look... beautiful. But… well… why?'

You raise an eyebrow at him and he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

'Sorry, I phrased that wrong. You're clearly not from around here and you look like you're dressed for some kind of occasion. I just...'

You decide to put him out of his misery for both your sakes.

'This is traditional Duuganese bridal attire.'

'Oh.' Hal blushes and unconsciously takes a step back. 'In that case, congratulations.'

'I didn't get married,' you say, just a little too quickly, smiling encouragingly. 'They couldn't make me.'

'Ah, well, good for you', he says with relief in his voice. 'So that's what brought you to Nevarro, then? You escaped?'

You almost cringe and force yourself to nod.

'Yeah', you sigh. ‘And that's why I desperately need new clothes. I didn't exactly have time to pack my bags.'

'Sounds like you've been through a lot, lately', he responds softly.

You absently rub your thumb on the fabric of the skirt in your hands. 'I guess I have.'

Then you quickly pull yourself back to the present and hold the pleated skirt in front of you. It falls mid-calf and appears to be your size.

'You could probably use something fun to put your mind off things', says Hal, while you grab a baggy white blouse from the stall. 'How about you keep that beautiful dress on for a little longer?'

You pay the vendor for the skirt and the blouse and then take a good look at Hal. You can't deny you find him attractive and he seems very aware of the fact that he shouldn’t get on your bad side if he doesn't want to meet one of your weapons.

'What do you propose?'

As you enter the small building where, according to a friendly local, the magistrate resides, you hear a familiar voice, which tells you that you’re in the right place.

'And you wanna mop up the last of the Imperial force before they do.'

'Mando, I just want them off my planet.'

'If we could take out that one last base, Nevarro would be completely safe', you hear Dune say. 'We could be a trade anchor for the entire sector. And the planet would finally be free. We just need a way into Mayweather's place.'

You walk into the room and Dune quickly clicks away a projection, but your attention is already drawn.

'Did you say Mayweather?', you ask curiously. 'As in Tomas Mayweather?'

Dune and Karga exchange glances. It’s the latter who answers.

'You know him?'

'Yeah,' you say, putting down your now very heavy bag, 'or, rather, my father does. Say about him what you want, but my dad sure was well-connected. I only met him once, years ago, when he came to Duugan for business. I didn't know he was from Nevarro. Why do you need to get into his house?'

'There's an old Imperial base hidden underneath his mansion', Din replies. 'We need to take out the skeleton crew stationed there.'

'What stopped you guys from kicking them out before?'

'Mayweather is an influential and wealthy man', Dune explains. 'Most of the businesses in town are his. We can't just waltz in there. Besides, we don't have the manpower or the watertight proof for it.'

'Why would he even hide them?'

Dune shrugs. 'Presumably, he gets paid handsomely for the protection his status gives them.'

'So you need a way in', you repeat with a straight face.

Karga squints suspiciously. 'Yes, we said that.'

You dramatically put your hands together in a thoughtful gesture, visibly enjoying the little play you're now putting on.

'If only there was some kind of big event to keep him distracted', you muse exaggeratingly. 'Something that would make him feel secure and not suspect that people are coming for him...'

'What are you getting at?', Dune asks, unable to hide her curiosity.

You spread your arms.

'A little birdie told me he's having a party later', you reveal with a big grin. 'And guess who's invited!'

'Nothing yet?'

The modulated voice in your ear almost makes you jump as you lean against the city gate, your hands behind your back and your jewelery softly jingling in the wind. You’re not quite used to the communication device hidden in your ear, which creates a non-stop connection between you and the Mandalorian’s helmet, since you need to be reachable and it would look highly suspicious if you were constantly sticking your finger in your ear to switch it on and off. Besides, you wouldn't even know how -Samick had often teasingly called you “technologically challenged”. The fact that Din can hear what you are doing and saying at all times makes you more nervous than you care to admit. Before you left, you made sure to go to the toilet and you don't plan on drinking anything all night, lest he has to hear things neither of you want him to. However nervous you may be, his digital presence does reassure you somewhat. After all, you’re about to go to the lion's den with a boy you barely know, who was supposed to pick you up at the city gate five minutes ago.

'No', you mutter with a sigh.

You look around again, but no trace of Hal. To be honest, you also have no idea how he’s planning to pick you up, so you don't know what kind of vehicle to look out for. Mayweather's villa is located in the hills outside the city, which means walking is not an option.

Hal had mentioned that guns are not allowed at parties like this one, but you’ve casually ignored that. You did leave your blasters behind, as well as your daggers, but your six throwing knives -which can also be held and used at close range- are attached to your legs. Dresses really do lend themselves well to hiding things on one’s legs. Few have the guts to search there without good reason.

Your gaze lands on the Razor Crest, which is parked a stone's throw from the gate. A couple of figures scurry around the ship, probably busy with some maintenance or refilling the fuel tank. For a moment you consider checking with Mando, but then you decide against it. He probably has better things to do, like preparing for the operation.

The plan had sounded pretty simple: you infiltrate the party and make sure that Mayweather doesn’t get wind of what goes on beneath his feet, while Din, Karga and Dune sneak into the base and place explosives, after which you set a small fire and ensure that everyone clears the villa before it blows up. Not everyone at this party will be an Imperial sympathizer, so you made sure they added that last part to the plan. If you can help it, you don't want more innocent blood on your hands. Plus, everyone will be so busy with the fire that no one will pay attention to what's going on downstairs. Mythrol, a nervous man with blue skin and fins on his head, will take the others to the base with his landspeeder. The tension between him and Mando had been palpable; they've undoubtedly met before and given Mando's profession, you can probably guess why Mythrol was so nervous.

'Are you sure Mayweather won't recognize you?'

'No,’ you admit, 'but it's been at least ten years and I don't exactly look the same as I did then. And even if he recognizes me, it's still not the end of the world. I can't imagine he's already heard about my… actions. '

'Let's hope so.'

'Where's the kid, by the way?’, you ask.

You don't remember seeing him in Karga's office.

'School', is the short answer.

You blink, confused about the lack of context, still not quite used to how frugal the Mandalorian is with his words. Not that you can blame him; he probably used to be alone most of the time and the child is not exactly a great conversation partner, as he never replies -not in a language you or Din speak, that is. You’re not quite sure whether he actually understands what people are saying to him. Though, he seems to listen to Din. When he wants to, anyway.

Then a yellow two-person speeder enters your field of vision. It’s coming straight for the city gate and after a while, you recognize Hal's blonde hair.

'He's coming', you announce softly, while standing up and waving at him.

Your heart starts beating faster and for a moment you feel guilty for abusing his kindness.

‘It's the right thing to do’, you silently remind yourself. ‘This is best for Nevarro.’

'Alright’, the man's voice sounds in your ear again. And, a moment later, as if he was hesitating, he adds: 'Be careful.'

A strange but warm feeling seems to wrap you in an invisible blanket, but the speeder is already so close that you can’t react without being noticed.

'Hey, Hal', you greet -partly to make that clear- when he comes to a stop right in front of you.

'Hey, sorry I'm late!', the young man shouts cheerfully. 'Jump in!'

You climb into the speeder and while Hal smoothly gets the speeder moving again, you mumble, only audible by the gods thanks to the sound of the engines: 'Oh Adur, give me strength...'

'How close do you want me to drop you off?'

Mythrol nervously eyes the area as he maneuvers the speeder through the pass, half expecting stormtroopers to show up at any moment to turn him into a smoking pile of blue pulp.

'How' bout the front door?', Karga says coolly.

'It's a little close for a civilian, isn't it?', he protests cautiously.

'I got two choices for ya’', Karga says sternly. 'You take us in and I knock a hundred years off your debt.'

Mythrol isn't sure if he wants to hear the other option. 'Or?'

'Or I leave ya' out here to walk home with whatever's left in your humidity vest and maybe the stormtroopers won't kill your blue ass before you dry out.'

'It's not much of a choice, is it?', the blue man grumbles under his breath.

The speeder quickly soars between the rocky walls towering over them, to where soon a large metal door emerges: the deserted-looking entrance to the Imperial base. Mythrol brings the speeder to a halt.

'All right, we can't go any further than this', he declares.

When the others get out, he stays seated, looking around and ready to fly away at the first sign of danger. Dune takes a look at the control panel next to the door, which is large enough to get a sizable spaceship through. Din scans the area, but the software in his helmet shows no signs of immediate danger. If he listens carefully, he can hear music coming from above them, where the party in the villa is clearly already in full swing. He had noticed that you didn't leave all of your weapons behind and he feels relieved for it. Judging from your story, Hal isn't the one he's concerned about. The question remains whether Mayweather will recognize you -and more importantly, whether he knows about the events on Duugan. If he has been warned about you, he also knows that you came with a Mandalorian. What conclusions he draws from that information is anyone's guess.

'We have a problem.' Dune's voice pulls him away from his pondering. She points to the panel. 'I recognise this technology. This security takes ages to override and if we do even one thing wrong, it'll send off an alarm.'

'And then our element of surprise is blown', Karga grumbles. 'They'll be way more on guard after that.'

'All right', Mythrol interrupts, starting the speeder again. 'I'm headed back. Hit me up on the comm, we can set up a rendezvous time. '

Karga whirls on him, losing his temper with the nervous employee.

'You park your gills right there until I say otherwise', he snarls.

'I'm starting to dehydrate, boss', Mythrol whines.

'Okay, how does thirty more years off your debt sound?'

He frowns thoughtfully and then sighs. 'Can you at least be quick about it?'

'We could be a whole lot quicker about it if we could get our hands on an access key', Dune says, with a meaningful look to the Mandalorian.

He understands the signal and unmutes his end of the comm. 'Can you hear me?' A clearly fake cough tells him you can't talk. 'We need a key to get in without alerting anyone. It should look like a thin bar about half the size of your hand. Can you get us one?'

You cough affirmatively and he mutes himself again.

'Are you sure that's a good idea?', Karga asks.

'She's our best shot', Din says evasively.

'Why was she traveling with you, anyway?', Dune wants to know.

He looks at her and carefully formulates his answer. ‘She needed a way out and I got caught up in the situation. We got away eventually. Got my ass handed to me a couple of times in the process, though. '

Dune gives him a wicked grin. 'I would've loved to see that.'

He wisely refrains from dignifying that with an answer. The cuts you caused in Lossith have not yet healed and still hurt with certain movements. You’d known very well where to hit him. By now you’d offered to bandage them four times, but he’d politely declined, insisting that you had every right to defend yourself. Besides the fact that the Creed wouldn’t allow it, he can't stand the idea of your touch on his skin for some reason. The thought alone is enough to spark something deep inside his chest.

Suddenly he misses the sound of your voice in his helmet and he thinks back to the ride here, during which he was listening to how you told Hal about the Duuganese gods.

‘On Duugan we worship four gods', you’d explained. 'We have two suns and one moon. Dedis is the largest sun. He is the god of wisdom and the harvest, because his light allows things to grow. Adur is the smaller sun and Dedis' younger brother, as well as the god of dawn and strength. He goes down first and rises first and often quarrels with his brother, who always has the last word - that's why he goes down last. When they’re gone, Qalla, the goddess of the moon and water, appears. She watches over the dreamers at night and keeps the nightly travelers safe. Finally, you have Yris, the goddess of the ground under our feet. She gives life to all that breathes on Duugan.' You laughed shortly. 'Admittedly, there aren't many of those on such a dry planet -you know how it is- but still. All four of them protect us in their own way. That's a very comforting thought when you’re fleeing through the galaxy. '

His gaze travels up to the mansion again and a silent prayer floats up to the sky as well.

'Maker, keep her safe.'

Seemingly casually, you lean on the handrail that prevents you from falling off the gallery. From the open second floor, which wraps around the large courtyard, you can see just about the entire party. Nevarro's contemporary fashion is a true spectacle to behold: women are wearing brightly coloured dresses and they’ve created the most bizarre and elaborate braided updos with their hair, while men walk around in loose-fitting and equally colourful clothes. Their hairdos are even more striking: apparently it is a trend among the wealthy to grow a big mustache and sculpt it into curly shapes -the races that can do that, at least. In addition to humans, you have also recognized a Rodian, whose green reptile skin and antennae are unmistakable, and a beautiful female Twi'lek with copper-colored headtails. An energetic group of musicians is playing cheerful music and a couple of guests are dancing to the beat. Your eyes slide over the dozens of guests and land on Mayweather, who is busy talking to a small group of men. His red hair stands out against his bright blue robes and on his hands, with which he gestures enthusiastically, a number of large rings sparkle in the sunlight coming through the skylights. Luckily he doesn't seem to have noticed you yet, clearly busy with his job as host. Moreover, you’re positioned somewhat concealed behind one of the columns that carry the roof above your head and the storey you’re standing on.

Who would have a key to the hidden base? Mayweather, of course, but it would be too ambitious and dangerous to steal his. The various waiters, their beige robes a strong contrast with the colorful guests, probably have no business going down there. The security, on the other hand...

You push yourself up from the balustrade and hurry towards the stairs, the heels of your shoes clicking on the turquoise tiles covering the floors. Hal has been getting you something to drink for about five minutes now, so you have to be quick if you want to avoid him. Fortunately, even in this dress, you don't stand out too much from the rest of the attendees. Once downstairs, you move smoothly through the partying crowd, making sure you steer clear of Mayweather, towards a hallway that you suspect leads to the private part of the villa. In any case, that you’re not allowed to go there becomes clear when you catch a glimpse of a Zabrak security guard, recognizable by the numerous small horns on his head. You take a deep breath and then quickly stagger into the hall, grabbing your stomach and panically waving at the guard.

'Ma'am, you are not allowed to come here', he says immediately, taking a step in your direction.

You spot the key instantly, clipped to his belt with a ring. Bingo.

'A bathroom!', you cry. ‘I need a bathroom, I don't feel so good! What kind of food are you guys serving here?! '

The man looks at you hesitantly while you say this and before he can respond, you throw yourself into his arms, wailing dramatically. He manages to catch you, but almost falls over in the process. You take advantage of his instability by grabbing the key from his belt in the kerfuffle and hiding it in your hand. Only then does the hole in your plan dawn on you: your dress has no pockets.

The Zabrak awkwardly pushes you away. 'The bathroom is that way.'

'Thank you, good sir', you squeak. 'I'm gonna go puke now.'

You quickly turn around and place the hand with the key on your chest in a dramatic gesture, stumbling back down the hall.

'Hey!'

You keep walking, even though you start panicking for real now, but you hear his footsteps coming after you. Silently cursing, you try to figure out where to hide the key and make a mental note to have pockets made in your dresses and skirts.

'Did you just steal my key?!', the guard snarls, firmly grabbing your arm. 'Give it back. Now. '

You open your mouth for a really ill-prepared defense, but then you hear a familiar voice behind you.

'What's going on here?'

Hal walks into the hallway and glares at him.

'She stole my key, Mr. Mayweather', the Zabrak replies.

The blood in your veins goes cold. Mayweather? Hal is Tomas's son?

'What?' Hal turns to you. 'Is that true?'

Your hand is still on your chest, just above the collar of your dress, and suddenly you realize there is only one place to hide the key now. As you turn toward Hal, you let the thin bar slip down your dress and pray to all your gods that no one sees it. Much to your relief, it doesn't immediately fall out of the other end of your dress and instead get stuck between your boobs, safely out of sight under the red fabric.

'Of course not', you pout, grabbing your forehead. 'I'm just looking for the bathroom, I’m feeling rather unwell.'

Every trace of suspicion disappears from Hal's face and with a short gesture he orders the guard to let you go. He reluctantly obeys.

'Can't you see she's sick, you idiot?', the boy barks. 'Look at her, she's white as a sheet! You just lost your key somewhere.'

You have no intention of telling him why you’re really turning white and you let yourself be supported by a concerned Hal. He accompanies you to the bathroom and then offers to get you a glass of water. You nod and enter the ladies room, but ignore the toilet.

'Hey,' you whisper as soon as you hear him walk away, 'I have the key.'

'Good', the warm voice of the Mandalorian says almost instantly. 'Can you get to the balcony on the east side?'

You noticed it when you were on the second floor earlier, so you respond affirmatively. Quickly, you open the door and when the coast turns out to be clear, you slip towards the stairs. Your braided bun wobbles up and down on the back of your head as you run upstairs, past a man and a woman who had clearly hoped for some privacy in the closed stairwell. Your headscarf falls down on your shoulders, but you ignore it and turn right twice, into a narrow corridor that opens onto a beautiful, gracefully domed balcony hanging many meters above the pass below you. It offers an amazing view of the volcanic, hilly landscape, but that doesn’t interest you very much at the moment. Panting, you put your hands on the balcony edge. What now?

Then you hear a strange, motor-like noise and the next moment, the Mandalorian appears in front of you. You almost let out a scream and step backwards.

'How are you doing that?', you hiss in bewilderment, staring at the man floating in the air.

'Jetpack', he answers shortly. 'Where's the key?'

It's his turn to be baffled when you put your hand down your dress and pull out the key. Suddenly he’s very glad that you can’t see his face.

The metal is still warm from your skin when you put it in Din's gloved hand.

'Go and blow up some stormtroopers for me, will you?', you say with a smile.

'Will do. Thanks.'

With those words, he flies away again. You gaze after him until he’s out of sight again, the same strange feeling from before distracting you to the point where you only notice the footsteps when they are right behind you.

Read the next part here.

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