#this is about aromanticism btw

[vulpinesaint]

one of my things with love is that i think it's probably like colors. yeah we have a thing that we all sort of agree is red. but we have no way to know if other people see red the same way as us. your red could be totally different from mine and we would never know because it has functionally the same relation to all of us and so we all just call it red. i have no way of knowing if anyone else on earth feels love the exact same way in which i do and in fact i think most people probably don't...

#this is about aromanticism btw #yeah i use love in a conventional way sometimes (telling friends i love them. all that) #genuinely though i do think that i feel love in a different way from everyone else #which is. alienating. #but also. intimate. is the word i want to use i think. #i have this thing that is just for myself. i am so aware of the way that i feel these emotions and they are just for me to understand. #special and beautiful and all that. aromanticism to me #valentine notes #aromantic #aromanticism

[sprnklersplashes]

"this character isn't aro they're-"

"this character can't be aro because-"

too late. I've already hit them with my aromantification beam.

#aromantic #aromanticism #lgbt+ #aro pride #aro jokes #posts that are about bucky barnes btw

[lemonycranberries]

i love being aro so fucking much

#literally i'm just. feeling very aro today. was thinking about it and listening to songs with aro vibes. and gods #truly #i LOVE IT #wouldn't have it any other way #aromantic #aro #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #i was thinking about dyeing the currently color-less streaks in my hair green #and you know what? #i think i'll actually do it #my god i love aromanticism #we're all the coolest people in the planet btw #my posts

[gay-otlc]

Happy pride month aros

#aromantic #aro #i want this on a t shirt #avi if you've seen this already. no you haven't #btw do not tag this as ace. this is about aromanticism okay. not asexuality

[omegalomania]

What are some of your favorite aro-/ace-coded fob lyrics?

oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds just for me

boycott love from disloyal order of water buffaloes is a personal favorite of mine. its a lyric i really really want tattooed at some point. that's not the only lyric i latch onto from an aro perspective but it's probably the biggest one

basically the entirety of it's hard to say "i do" when i don't but a special mention goes to you are appealing to emotions that i simply do not have as well as the only ring i want buried with me are the ones around my eyes

it's true romance is dead / i shot it in the chest and in the head from the music or the misery is also a favorite of mine, also just that whole song in general

i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light in hum hallelujah resonates with a lot of queer folks i've found, and it's no different for me

same goes for it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to love you from g.i.n.a.s.f.s.

i'm outside the door, invite me in / so we can go back and play pretend from alone together brings me back to when i was trying to perform heteronormativity/amatonormativity even if it was making me miserable

i also hold to a very similar vibe with she said "i love you 'till i don't" / i am just playing house, no idea what i'm doing now from sunshine riptide and also most of burna boy's verse, frankly. i fell in love but i didn't fall down and feel like i'm bulletproof, baby in particular

american beauty/american psycho, particularly the first verse. i think i fell in love again / maybe i just took too much cough medicine

golden is a big one for queer folks in general i've found. the chorus especially hits hard from an aro and/or ace reading. and i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies / and all the lovers with no time for me

i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth is a heavy song no matter how you slice it. but that chorus gets to me in particular: we can fake it for the airwaves / force our smiles, baby, half-dead / from comparing myself to everyone else around me

the kids aren't alright reads to me as one big anthem for platonic love above anything romantic, which resonates super hard with me. the second verse has a lot of good lines that i latch onto from an aroace lens too. your love is anemic and i can't believe / that you couldn't see it coming from me

pretty much the whole chorus of HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T does it for me, and those verses have got some good aroallo vibes too! i never really feel a thing... confidants but never friends...

the whole of fake out is a gimme. that chorus rings real true. starts with love is in the air, i just gotta find a window to break out and finishing with but it was all a fake-out

i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers is one that has another highly applicable title but the whole refrain of the truth hurts worse / than anything i could bring myself to do to you paired with the one-two punch of that second verse REALLY gets under my skin

and of course, the culminating one: you are what you love, not who loves you from save rock and roll. obviously there are a LOT of ways to read that line

there are a couple other songs i latch onto - wilson (expensive mistakes); a little less "sixteen candles", a little more "touch me"; the (after) life of the party to name a few - but the ones listed above are the big lyrics that resonate with me on a personal level

just in general i have a shitton of fob over on my aro playlist (which doubles as a general aroace/queer playlist but has a lot of emphasis on aromanticism) in case i forgot to mention anything but like i said those are the big ones

#askin hours #anon #happy aro awareness week lol ive had this in my drafts for mONTHS and forgot about it #sorry it took so long to answer i have a million asks in my inbox and just do not have time most days #go listen to aromanticism by moses sumney for black history month and aro awareness week btw #now THAT there is an album that rewrote my neural chemistry

[aq2003]

ten x rose love loses moodboard - space girl by frances forever // doctor who (2005) 2x03 doomsday // why losing rose was so devastating on doctor who, according to david tennant // twitter user arojotaro // tumblr user heartless-aro // against the kitchen floor by will wood // doctor who (2005) 4x13 journey's end // julie gardner in the journey's end dw confidential // a screenshot of my discord messages

#tenth doctor #10th doctor #rose tyler #doctor who #dr who #my edits #'''''my edits''''' #aspec doc tag #<- this is either my worst or best post in that tag depending on what your definition of good or bad is #ten rose love loses #'twitter user arojotaro' it's just me btw that's another one of my stupid posts i just thought it would look nicer in the citations #bc tumblr user heartless-aro also has a post abt aromanticism that is vaguely about fish #immortal alien that dies in 6 years can be such a good metaphor for asexuality and aromanticism- [i am gunned down by the firing squad]

[theshalesky]

I don't want love to be the point. If anything, i want it to be the starting point.

So many stories have at least a romance subplot. A plotline revolving around love - love being the goal, whether the characters reach it in the end or not. Love being the moral of the story. Love being the angle at which the world is perceived. Even when it's a tragic breakup story, the story is still about love. I'm tired of that.

I want to see characters living their story despite love. I want characters to fall in love at the beginning, but then things happen in their life, and they realize they've slowly fallen out of love for no apparent reason. I'm sick of love being that all-encompassing force that survives in all circumstances. I want love to mean nothing. To be there, but be pointless, to simply matter less than other things in the world. When a character asks "Why don't you love me?", i want the other to reply "Why do you love me?", because this love is merely a facet of both characters' personal issues. I want them to continue their story, knowing who loves whom and who doesn't love whom, and having to work with it. I wish for once, love wasn't seen as a wonderful thing, but instead talked about in a neutral way. Characters loving someone but not caring about that love. Characters loving someone but slowly forgetting about that person. Characters loving someone but knowing their love won't matter. Characters loving someone but understanding they can't give that person what they need. Characters loving someone but this love being overshadowed by all the other ways in which they care about that person. I want love to be anything, anything but the point.

#this may or may not be because i'm aromantic #so yeah this is mostly about romantic love #listen - aro representation in stories is great. but what i need even more is for love to be taken off that pedestral. #please consider putting love in your story just to completely crush the concept #that's what i'm doing btw - maybe i'll talk about that in a post #writeblr #writers on tumblr #romance #love #love story #aromantic #aro #aromanticism #arospec #writerscommunity #writers and poets #story #fuck love

[aroanthy]

hi!! i know u talk a lot about aromanticism a lot on here, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen u talk about aromantic anthy. would u mind discussing/elaborating on it or linking to a post where u do because i’m very curious!!

i got a similar ask half a year ago or something ridiculous like that on my main blog, but i’d like to really do justice to my url right now and explain it in more concrete terms.

i will say, it’s important to bear in mind that this reading of anthy’s character is very much informed by my own experiences, and a lot of those experiences are ones im not keen to talk in depth about. but you know. let’s make some nebulous gestures towards ideas of being traumatised, being autistic, struggling to meaningfully connect with others and honestly not really wanting to do such because of how they treat you.

like ive previously said, an aromantic perspective on the world would, i think, really benefit anthy. when youve lived your whole life experiencing violence at the hands of these patriarchal structures, of which romance is absolutely one, it’s kinda like. damn. im uncomfortable buying into those ideas.

anthy also has this lovely line in ep 19 where she says to utena ‘romance either happens or it doesn’t’ and it’s just sooooooo. so very interesting to me, actually, that anthy would say something so black and white about ‘romance’, a topic that anthy knows better than a lot of rgu characters is hopelessly confused and arbitrary and often enabling violence. and utena (fellow aromantic gaybo) says 'yeah, i know, but...'. these simplifications, these elisions. what is and isn't articulated. but what? maybe things are much more complicated than we'd like to think.

anyway enough of that tangent. one thing i as a trans and aromantic person always return to when discussing trans and aromantic readings of characters/texts more broadly is that there's no singular piece of evidence that can really cement these readings as Undeniable. it's like. okay. there's a critique of romance as a patriarchal structure in revolutionary girl utena. there's an ambiguity about anthy's feelings towards characters like utena, where there is clearly a queer connection but it takes shape in unconventional and complex ways. me, i'm aromantic, i see all of these pieces and i go oh well that's because she's an aromantic lesbian. you know, there's plenty of little moments i can evidence but those moments can be used to argue for an alloromantic lesbian anthy too. romance is a very arbitrary thing and i think everyone should take their own approach to it unapologetically. of course, mine is that it's hellish and i want nothing to do with it, but im just one guy. and im okay with that. i feel strongly about this reading and it is personal, and id be dishonest to say otherwise, but i do also find that it's well-evidenced in the text. as one of my lecturers once said, don't worry about authorial intent, it isn't real <3

#and authorial intent is NOT real i really cant emphasise that one enough #like it's fun to engage with the stuff a writer/director/whoever thinks about their art #and it can be very useful #but it's not definitive. that's not the last word on the topic #like did be papas consciously write any rgu character as aromantic? idk probably not #but i find such powerful aromantic narratives and themes coming through in this show #in how it chooses to examine relationships and power dynamics and the pervasive nature of romance as a concept #how it is so easily unequal how it is DESIGNED to be unequal how it offers chivalry and safety to mitigate harm #which it directly enables. makes easier #and that doesnt mean that aromanticism is the only solution bc you know. some ppl do feel romantic attraction #but it's like ok let's rethink 'romance'. let's combat amatonormativity let's challenge the relationship hierarchy that privileges #families and romantic partners in such a dangerous dangerous way #and i see all of that in this show and it resonates so deeply with my experiences many of which pertain to aromanticism #and you know. this show made me accept that im aromantic. so i think that speaks to how strongly these themes come through #but i digress. i find it hard to talk about this stuff bc its deeply personal and quite arbitrary #and also every time i do someone sends me anon hate about how i hate gay people. which is so cool btw please keep doing that #i didnt realise that loving being gay and loving gay people and loving when gay people love each other made me homophobic /s #just to clarify for the second time that is all sarcasm im gay and aromantic and i dont have time for arophobia here #anywayyyyy #im aware of all the asks ppl have sent me. im working on it i prommy <3 #dais.txt #dais talks aspec

[lovefromthestarz]

I wish that certain fandoms understood the depth and complexity of what the aromantic experience is. I hate having to explain that not everyone loves the same, or even loves at all.

why can't you educate yourself instead of attacking and shaming others?

#LET PEOPLE INTERPRET A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP AS NOT ROMANTIC PLEASE. #not talking about just the dsmp fandom btw #talking about like them all #also shoving qprs into a box when the whole point is that its outside of the box. its different #aromanticism #the aromantic experience #arospec #not gonna tag certain fandoms because lord have mercy u guys are like attack dogs

[urpurplehairedsage]

y'all my smush is literally driving me mad and they know it too, send help, but also don't, I don't wanna be saved

#I wanna hear about your guys' smushes too btw #so if y'all have something to share #anonymously or not by all means please do! #🧙🏾‍♀️'s weird musings #aromantic #aro #arospec #aromanticism #alloaro #aroallo #aromantic allosexual #queer #lgbtqia+ #sapphic #wlw #lesbian #🍍🍍🍍

[asexualannoyance]

we (and by 'we' i mean me specifically) really need a book about aromanticism, and by extension amatonormativity

think about books like Ace by Angela Chen and Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J. Brown but primarily about aromanticism - that would be so fucking dope!

#both of these are books people should definitely read btw #they are very good!!! #and aromanticism /is/ discussed in them but not to the degree it can be talked about #because these books are primarily about asexuality #(btw if there is such a book i would love to know about it ^^)

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I understand that there is an issue with aro/asexual/aroace headcanons only being placed on robotic/non-human characters. But at the same time, how many characters in media aren't obsessed with sex and/or dating or have at least shown interest in one and/or the other in canon? It's not ideal, but what other options do we have?

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromanticism #asexuality #aro #ace #em rambles #thinking about aroace castiel hours #I'm not saying he's loveless btw let's get that straight. I also hc him as bi oriented #i love castiel and other readings of him are valid and i respect them #this is just mine! you don't have to agree I just want to express why this hc is meaningful to me personally

[kissimirrit]

this memory just hit me like a shitton of bricks ok listen so like

i had my first ever relationship when i was 11. we were both 11 and she was one of my closest friends, and it was an online relationship. she confessed to me via deviantart note yadda yadda that’s the context.

but early on, i kind of caught on that i didn’t feel the same way she felt for me. and i felt very, very guilty about it. that relationship ended, and a few months later i got another girlfriend who confessed feelings to me. and it became a little bit of a pattern where these girls i was friends with would confess feelings for me, i assume that we’re such close friends that this MUST be love, and then very quickly realize that what we are feeling are two very different things.

and all the while i was doing what any sad 11-13 year old furry on deviantart did at the time: make vent art saying that i’m incapable of love and that i’m scared i’ll never fall in love and that i’m a loveless husk of a person.

i just think it’s kind of funny that, looking back on it, from an early age, from relationship #1, i sort’ve knew that i didn’t feel romantic feelings, and that i never had before, and that i probably never will. (and i was right).

#i deleted like 8 more paragraphs because i didn't want to throw a novel at u guys #i love posting about my aromanticism i used to be soooo insecure about it until uhhhh idk 2020? 2021? #whenever the loveless aro community came to my attention was when i was like ''ACTUALLY.... BEIN ARO KINDA RULES'' #cuz i felt so ostracized from the notion that 'aro ppl can still love!! just in a different way!! platonic love and familial love and—'' #like uh no actually i'm incapable of love and i am a loveless husk of a person and that is fucking POGGERS of me actually!! #anyway tl;dr being aro and incapable of love is actually very epic and it helped me feel very secure in my aromanticism #knowing that many other people felt similarly. #and i like reflecting on when i first noticed my aromanticism-- even if it wasn't by name #(well i mean i also did this thing when i was 8 where all my irl friends had crushes and i didn't but kinda knew i was queer so—) #(i picked a boy at random and pretended to have a crush on him for uhhh almost 6 years. he moved away when we were 10 btw) #(because i KNEW i wasn't into boys but i didn't want anyone else to know that. but i couldn't have been more fucking obvious abt it) #(like it was very clear to everyone i was queer and even i knew i was queer even if at the time i thought my flavor of queer was lesbian) #(but pretending to have a crush on the same boy who MOVED AWAY EARLY ON for 6 years was just... jesus fucking christ) #(i sincerely could not have been less subtle about the fact i wasn't into dudes.)

[paintingpuff]

I'm late to the aro positivity party but thought I could shout out a manga I read this year, I Want to be a Wall!

It's about an aroace woman (who is really into BL) and a gay man being arranged into a marriage and how they navigate that, growing closer and kind of becoming a QPR.

The stuff that really got to me was the discussion of the woman's experience with her asexuality (and aromanticism though that isn't explicitly labeled), how it connects to her media tastes and the way people have hurt her in the past. It was all absolutely heartbreaking.

A fun detail I also like is how the pair act out romantic tropes (Gift of Magi style misunderstanding, paranoia about "cheating,"), but they are all done through a platonic context.

(Ex. Even though they're not in romantic love, he still feels upset at the idea of losing their bond, or her getting hurt by someone he doesn't know.)

There's not too many chapters of it out, unfortunately (only like two volumes), but the ones I read are very enjoyable and I'd love to put this on other people's radar!

(btw, I got this manga rec from this video, and there's more in it!)

Asexual Manga and their Powerful Visibility

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=urXrwYmMdgA

#aromantic #asexual #queer #queer manga #aromantic manga #aromanticism #lgbtqia #gay #manga recommendation #i want to be a wall #gay manga #puff talks

[apollos-boyfriend]

this is bc imma be a very personal rant and if anyone tries to bring discourse i Will kill but god being aromantic and still feeling romantic attraction at times is so alienating. i’m too aromantic for allo people but too “allo” for aromantic people. every post and in-joke about aromanticism is always about disliking romance and being better alone and i can’t relate to any of it. 90% of the time the sentiment of “aromantic people can still date though!!” is shared by allos erasing aro rep for the sake of a ship. i’m so tired.

(okay to reblog as long as you don’t try to start discourse btw)

#icarus speaks #vent #i just never feel seen by any side of any community #it’s such a small thing. like personal and first world as all hell #but god if it doesn’t sting every single day