#this is from the end of april but FUCK IT
Note
Hiiii, I have a request. Imagine a highschool AU where reader has a massive crush on Sukuna but she thinks he has a thing with Uraume, but he actually likes her. Ok ok, so hear me out. Reader is childhood friends with Yuuji and Sukuna and she notices how Sukuna and Uraume have been hanging out a lot. So she asks Yuuji if Sukuna is going to prom and he says yes, and that he is probably going with Uraume. So reader is sad and doesn't want to go to prom anymore even after already buy her dress. Buttt, the day before prom, Sukuna and Reader end up talking and she mentions how he and Uraume are going together and he is confused. Then they both confess and end up going together. Pleaseeeeee make this as angsty as possible, I love me some good angst😫
A/N - Ooh, you know I love me some angst. And considering that it's actually prom season right now, this makes this fic that much more personal to me (I don't have a date LMAO).
The Other Woman
Preview - "The fuck was so great about Uruame anyway? Maybe it was her intelligence, maybe it was her athleticism. Or maybe, just maybe, it was her ability to interact with Sukuna without stumbling over every other word."
Warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, mention of violence (Sukuna will be Sukuna)
Word Count - 4.3k
It was April now.
The season where girls compared prom dresses and guys anxiously put together their extravagant plans to ask the girl of their dreams to prom. It was the season that also revealed who was romantically interested in who — the couples that were thought to have been endgame break up juust before prom season, and if luck was truly a real thing, two people that nobody thought were romantically interested in the other were suddenly sucking face in the hallway.
And even though you had been saying since the beginning of the school year that you likely were not going to attend prom …
… you found yourself standing in a dress shop with Nobara and Maki, both of whom were dressing you in flashy colors and, quite frankly, expensive dresses.
“You’re kidding! Of course you’re going to prom, we’re not going without you,” Nobara comments, her tone offended as if you had told her that her shirt didn’t match her pants. Maki crosses her arms over her chest, agreeing wholeheartedly with the brunette at her side.
“Come on Nobara, it’s not like it’s gonna be worth it. You both have dates,” you point out, taking a sip from your water bottle and sending both of your friends knowing looks.
“And? You can go with Yuuji, you’ve both been conjoined at the hip since grade school,” Maki retaliates with a raise of her eyebrow. Nobara nods in agreement.
“First of all, I’m not taking my guy best friend to prom. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea,” you begin, holding up your hand and using your fingers as an imaginary list. “And second, I kind of want someone to ask me that is … y’know … romantically interested in me.”
Nobara claps her hands together as the curtain of your dressing room is yanked to the side, her smile widening impossibly further as she silently commands you to spin. You comply, turning in a circle in the royal blue dress that she had forced you into.
“I don’t know,” you say for the umpteenth time. Nobara deflates in her seat, turning her head to Maki in the hopes that maybe she would say something to convince you. But the green-haired girl doesn’t say anything, because in a way she understands.
“Come on (Y/N). Help us out here,” Nobara all but begs you, standing from her chair and walking over to you. She turns you in the direction of the full-body mirror in front of you, her hands affectionately squeezing her shoulders. “What color do you want to wear? Let’s start there.”
“I don’t even want to go Nobara,” you retaliate, meeting her gaze in the mirror’s reflection. She sighs again, dramatically letting go of you and sulking once she returns to her seat.
Maki rolls her eyes, finally walking over to you and glancing at you through the mirror. “Here, instead of color, who do you want to go to prom with?”
You freeze, already feeling your cheeks heat as your eyes flicker to momentarily meet Maki’s in the reflection.
“D’you think Sukuna is actually going to prom?” you ask Yuuji, stealing a chip from the bag that he holds and grinning to yourself as he silently shifts to ensure that you won’t steal another. He lifts his legs, crossing his ankles over one another as he hums in thought.
“I think he might’ve mentioned it. But you know him,” Yuuji pauses to eat another chip, “he’s not really one for those kinds of parties, y’know?”
You nod, but at the same time you can feel your heart sinking. Was it really a secret that you had a crush on the older brother of your childhood best friend? Honestly … no. But everyone but Sukuna knew (obviously), and yet nobody had really tried anything to help push you together.
Maybe that was because of his reputation, or maybe it was because your friends were trying to “protect” you from someone that you really didn’t need to be shielded from.
“Actually, now that you mention it,” Yuuji turns to you, crumpling up the now empty chip bag and tossing it into the garbage bin just a few feet in front of the two of you. “I think he mentioned asking Uruame to prom.”
You fall silent, nodding your head. “Mm … right.”
“I don’t know,” you answer again, shrugging your shoulders and already moving back towards the dressing room. You rip open the curtain, stepping inside and sighing. You lift your hands, rubbing them over your face as Yuuji’s words replay like a broken record in your head.
The fuck was so great about Uruame anyway?
Maybe it was her intelligence, maybe it was her athleticism. Or maybe, just maybe, it was her ability to interact with Sukuna without stumbling over every other word.
You glance upward at the small mirror in the dressing room, already reaching behind you to unzip the dress. You step out of it, returning it to its hanger before emerging again from the dressing room. Nobara and Maki glance up at you, having expected you to be wearing another dress.
“I think I’m done for today, if anything, I’ll just wear an old dress,” you say nonchalantly, trying to hide the waver that had started to creep into your tone. Maki nods understandingly, but Nobara rises to her feet and promptly places both hands on her hips.
“(Y/N),” she says sternly, stomping over to you and grabbing both of your hands into her own. “We are going to find you a perfect fucking dress, you are going to have a perfect fucking time at prom, and we are going to all go together because fuck men.”
Maki sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. "Nobara-" she begins, but her words are quickly cut off by a dismissive wave of Nobara's hand.
"Now come on," Nobara places her palms flat against the backs of your shoulders, pushing you back towards the dressing room and turning to get the attention of the consultant who had been helping the three of you. "We're finding you a dress, and it's gonna be perfect."
< ... >
"Here brat, got you those fuckin' chips that you won't shut up about," Sukuna rolls his eyes as he closes the front door. He turns towards the couch, promptly throwing a bag of chips at Yuuji's face. You bite back the chuckle that claws up your throat as Yuuji yells out in surprise, pressing his palms against his face.
"The hell?! Uncalled for!" Yuuji whips his head around to send a glare to his older brother, the latter of whom only shrugs before turning his attention to you.
"Here, got you somethin' too," he says gruffly, clearing his throat as he rummages through the white plastic bag that he's slung over his arm. From it he removes a bag of candy that you had mentioned liking, which he hands to you.
"Oh, thanks Sukuna!" You turn to smile at him as you take it, fingers momentarily brushing against his own. The contact brings a gentle pink hue to your cheeks, though his face remains stoic as ever – completely unreadable. As he usually was.
Sukuna only grunts in response to your thanks, then turning on his heel and promptly vanishing into his room. You return your attention to the movie that Yuuji had put on, noticing him staring at you out of the corner of your eye.
"What?"
"Do you … shit (Y/N) … do you like my brother?"
You cough, Yuuji's question catching you completely off of your guard. You whip your head to face him, cheeks heating at the knowing smile that your best friend wears. He abandons his chips, already rising to his feet.
Shit.
You spring up from your place on the couch, already diving for Yuuji. Your arms lock around his waist, knocking both him and yourself to the ground. "Don't you fucking dare."
The pink-haired boy merely laughs in response, opening his mouth to yell. You yelp, pressing both of your palms against his lips and pressing down hard. He winces, but his eyes are still crinkled in that bright little shit-eating grin that continues to remind you just how fucked you were.
You stare down at him, eyes as cold as ice. "Say a word and I'll kill you."
Yuuji only rolls his eyes, but that shit-eating grin never once fades from his face.
< ... >
"See! I told you that we would find the perfect dress!" Nobara says proudly, hands on her hips as she admires you from behind. Her eyes meet yours in the reflection of your bedroom's mirror, lips turned upward in a smile.
You had to admit, the dress was absolutely gorgeous. It was (Y/F/C) with gentle highlights and trimmings that fit around both your chest and waist. The center of the dress was corseted, accentuating your figure; and the train of the dress was long enough to flow behind you, but not long enough that you would trip over it.
You turn your body around in the mirror, admiring the lace-up back of the dress. For the first time in a very long time, you felt pretty.
"Alright, alright, fine. I'll admit … it is very pretty." You bite back a chuckle as Nobara claps her hands together, giddily turning to Maki and waiting for the green-haired girl to verbally approve as well.
"You do look amazing (Y/N)," Maki nods in agreement, her compliment bringing a gentle smile to your face. Nobara nods her head frantically, turning back to you and grinning again as her eyes rake up and down your figure.
The three of you pause at the sound of your front door opening and closing, followed then by your mother happily greeting whoever it was that had turned up on your doorstep. Nobara shoots you a confused look, one that you respond to with a confused look of your own.
"(Y/N)! Yuuji's here!"
You sigh, lifting your fingers to your nose and pinching at the bridge of your nose. You had completely forgotten that you had agreed to go to the arcade with Yuuji, and now here you were, standing in a prom dress even after you had told him countless times that you simply weren't going.
Nobara and Maki exchange glances, but neither of them say anything to you or each other.
"Okay! You can let him upstairs!"
The sound of foosteps approaching your door already has your blood running cold, but the expression that Yuuji wears when he opens your bedroom door makes it somehow colder.
"Oh wow (Y/N)! You look great! But I thought you said that you weren't coming to prom?" Yuuji points out, tilting his head curiously at you as he angles himself to close the door behind him. He glances then at both Nobara and Maki, neither girl answering him, leaving it completely up to you.
You clear your throat, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another as you turn to face Yuuji completely. "Yeah … I know. Nobara kind of convinced me."
"Well, that's good!" Yuuji smiles sweetly, already moving towards your desk chair and flopping down into it. "Are you going with anyone?"
You remain silent – and that's when Nobara decides to step in, noticing the uncomfortable expression that you wear at Yuuji's question.
"She's coming with me and Maki," she answers. You nod, clearing your throat as you turn to Yuuji, half-expecting him to furrow his eyebrows at you. But luckily, he smiles at Nobara's response, nodding his head and deciding not to breach the subject any further.
< … >
"There you are, where's the brat?" Sukuna asks as he approaches you, leaning against the locker beside your own. You chuckle lightly at him, tilting your head to glance up at him – oddly enough, he was already staring at you.
"Yuuji? I think he's just finishing up with the Occult Club," you answer, removing your biology textbook from your locker before pushing the metal door shut. Sukuna hums, crossing his arms and tilting his head away from you.
He looks like he wants to say something, but is conflicted on whether or not he should actually say it. You study him for a second, opening your mouth to say something.
"There you both are! I'm ready to go home now," Yuuji says brightly, waving at both you and Sukuna from halfway down the hallway. He extends his hand to you, the both of you performing the handshake that you had perfected sometime during middle school. Sukuna rolls his eyes at the both of you, kicking off of the lockers and already swinging his keys on his index finger.
"Took you long enough," Sukuna comments with a harsh roll of his eyes, though you don't fail to notice the small smirk that tugs at the corner of Sukuna's mouth. "C'mon, let's get out of here."
Yuuji nods, linking his arm with your own and lightly tugging you towards the school's exit. He grins at you as you stumble on your feet, letting out a small "Yuuji!" at his antics. Sukuna only shakes his head, following behind the both of you – keeping his distance.
"So, (Y/N), anyone asked you to prom yet?" Yuuji asks, his voice loud enough for Sukuna to hear behind him. You stand rigid in your best friend's hold, eyes flickering to his own. "Surely a girl like you got asked, right? With a big bouquet of flowers and--"
"Yuuji, stop," you say harshly, voice venomous as you push yourself out of Yuuji's arms. He glances at you, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. He opens his mouth to say something, but you hold a hand up, effectively cutting him off.
"I'm not going to prom with anyone because the person I wanted to go with is interested in someone else, okay? Is that what you wanted to fucking hear?" You lift a hand to wipe at your suddenly teary eyes, sighing to yourself and shaking your head.
"(Y/N), that's not what I--"
"Forget it. I'm just gonna take the bus home," you murmur to yourself, turning and walking straight past Sukuna, not even turning to apologize when your shoulder knocks against his own. His eyes follow you, narrowed in both confusion and irritation. Even so, he makes no move to follow you …
… even though he so desperately wants to.
< … >
"I-it was so humiliating Nobara! Just … just imagine how disgusted he must be with me right now!" You throw your hands up as you continue pacing, talking through your tears as best that you can. Though it proves to be a struggle, you manage to get your point across and speak for long enough before you dissolve into tears again.
Nobara's eyes soften, gaze flickering momentarily to Maki, who only wears an expression similar to the former's. She stands, opening her arms to you. They lock around you as you all but fall into them, clawing at her back and pressing your face into her shoulder, crying quietly into the fabric of her shirt.
"He's not disgusted with you," Nobara begins, but you're quick to cut her off, only crying more. Her hand smooths up and down the length of your spine, her gaze once again flickering to Maki in the hopes that maybe she would say something … anything … to comfort you.
But just like Nobara, Maki is at a loss for words, sitting quietly on your bed and watching you promptly break down in the expanse of Nobara’s arms.
“He is! He has to be, c’mon, I totally just — just left him there!” The grip you have over Nobara’s shoulders tighten, holding her impossibly tighter as you try to comfort yourself in her arms. The attempt is futile, and in reality, it only makes you feel worse.
“I’m sure that he understands.”
“It’s Sukuna, Maki!” You pry yourself from Nobara’s arms, swallowing the growing lump in your throat and angrily swiping at the tears that cling to your waterline. You sigh, allowing your head to fall into the palms of your hands, nails digging into the sides of your head.
“Come on (Y/N),” Maki says gently, moving towards you and placing a hand on your shoulder. Her fingers squeeze at you comfortingly, a small smile curling her lips upward as you finally turn your head to make eye contact with her. “It’s a simple misunderstanding, I don’t think that Sukuna is going to automatically hate you because of it.”
You sigh shakily, allowing her to gently guide you to the edge of your bed. She pushes onto your shoulders, then sitting down beside you while Nobara sits in your desk chair — which she had pulled up to the side of the bed so that she could sit directly in front of you.
“Prom is tomorrow,” you murmur, sighing again a rubbing a hand down your face. Nobara and Maki exchange solemn looks, but neither of them say anything to one another. “And I just … maybe I shouldn’t go.”
Nobara immediately shakes her head, nearly stumbling from her seat from the force at which she leans back. Maki instinctively reaches for her, hands ready to brace the brunette if she were to fall.
“What?! After everything that we did? We got a dress, we went out and bought makeup, and we even rented a limo with everyone else!” Nobara says sharply, though her voice doesn’t hold any of the malice that you had expected it too. You knew what she was trying to do anyway, convince you by slightly guilting you into thinking that by you not being there, prom night would essentially be ruined.
You sniffle, rubbing a hand against your tear-stained cheeks. Maki reaches out, rubbing a hand against your back. Of course, she wants you to go to prom as well, but unlike Nobara, she wouldn’t sit there and guilt trip you into going. If you didn’t want to go, then it was as simple as that, you didn’t want to go.
“I-I know that, but Nobara—“
“Stop.” Nobara stands then, her hands on either side of your face and squishing your cheeks together. “We’re going to prom together, and that’s that. Got it?”
You sigh, blinking back the last bits of tears that cling to your lashes. And against your better judgement, even though you so desperately want to stay home all day tomorrow and rot …
… you nod against the skin of Nobara’s palms.
< … >
"(Y/N)! Guys!" Yuuji waves wildly from the front entrance of the school's gymnasium, lips turned upward in a wide grin as you, Nobara, and Maki approach. Standing beside Yuuji is Sukuna – who looks as though the only thing he craves at that moment is going home and vanishing for the weekend.
Uruame wasn't with him though … maybe she just hadn't arrived yet.
Nobara smiles as you all approach Yuuji, accepting his fist-bump. You turn to him as well, extending your hand at the same moment he does, the both of you performing that oh-so-elaborate handshake.
“You look nice,” Yuuji says to you, smiling. You return his smile, turning on your heel and marveling as your dress’ train lifts from the ground, creating a small circle around you as you turn. Yuuji turns then to Sukuna, whose eyes dart away as if he had been caught looking at something that he shouldn’t have been.
“Yeah … nice,” Sukuna murmurs underneath his breath. His comment brings a gentle pink hue to your cheeks, and in thanks, you nod your head at him.
“C’mon, let’s go inside!” Nobara says happily, her lips tuned upward in a smile as she reaches for your hands, tugging you towards the entrance of the gymnasium. You glance fleetingly at Sukuna, whose eyes are still fixed on anything but you — you wonder what color Uruame would wear.
Would she match him? Or would she wear a different color that complimented the one he wore?
You shake your head, bringing yourself back to reality as you allow Nobara to tug you towards the doors, her lips still turned upward in a delighted smile as she and Maki already begin nodding their heads in tune with the loud music that blares from inside of the gymnasium.
“Hey, (Y/N).”
You turn, eyebrows raised as you notice Sukuna looking at you, his body angled so that he faces you. His fingers twitch slightly, debating on whether or not they should reach out for you.
“Yeah?”
“Can I talk to you? Jus’ for a second,” Sukuna responds gruffly, clearing his throat and hoping that the dimly lit sky was enough to hide the pink color that dusted his cheeks.
Nobara, Maki, and Yuuji all exchange knowing looks, their lips all turning upwards into Cheshire-cat-like smiles. None of them say a single word as they slip through the gymnasium’s open doors, leaving both you and Sukuna at the entrance.
“Everything okay?” you ask, tilting your head at Sukuna. He swallows, shoulders tensing and hands curling into white-knuckled fists. His nails, which had always been long, are no doubt leaving behind crescent-shaped marks on the skin of his palm — what the hell had him so nervous?
He hesitates, eyes flickering momentarily to you before they look away again. “Everything’s,” he clears his throat, “everything’s fine.”
You furrow your eyebrows together, not quite believing him. You lift your arms to cross them over your chest, shifting on your foot before finally noticing a tuft of white hair in the distance. You open your mouth to comment, but something stops you.
“So … where’s Uruame?” you settle for asking, glancing up at him and teasingly wiggling your eyebrows at him. He turns to you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“The fuck are you talking about?”
“Uruame. You’re waiting out here for her aren’t you? Don’t tell me you’re gonna make her walk into prom all by herself,” you turn on your heel to chastise him, pointing a finger at his chest. The crease between his eyebrows only deepens as you continue — which you take as a sign to promptly shut up.
The two of you stand in awkward silence for a moment, both of you turned away from the other in fear of what expression the other wore.
“Uruame’s not comin’ to prom,” Sukuna murmurs with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “Said she wasn’t the biggest fan of parties, not that I blame ‘er.”
“Oh.”
Again, neither of you say anything to the other. You can feel your cheeks burning, and in the hopes that he wouldn’t say anything, you lift your hands to your face, covering it. He tilts his head, sighing with the smallest of smirks plastered onto his face.
“Lemme guess,” he turns to you, regaining his confidence and bending just enough so that his nose is level with your own. Your eyes widen, the pink color on your cheeks deepening at the sudden closeness. “You thought I was takin’ Uruame to prom, didn’t you?”
“N-no,” you reply quickly, your voice a high-pitched squeak. Sukuna chuckles, shifting back on his feet and crossing his arms over his chest, staring down his nose at you. “Okay, maybe.”
The taller man turns, leaning against the wall of the gymnasium and glancing at you through the corner of his eye. You shuffle on your feet, not daring to look up at Sukuna.
“That why you kept tellin’ Yuuji that you weren’t comin’ to prom?” he asks, grinning as he glances at you. “‘Cause you thought I was goin’ with Uruame?”
You remain silent — now suddenly embarrassed over your childlike reaction. To be honest, it had been petty for you to potentially throw away the entirety of your prom night over something as trivial as not having a date. But at the same time, your friends had been asked to prom by the people that they were romantically interested in — hell, even Yuuji had managed to successfully ask Megumi to prom. And that was after he had smacked himself in the face in front of his bathroom mirror.
Sukuna chuckles, leaning his head back and crossing his arms over his chest. His fingers drum against his clothed bicep, a delighted hum rumbling up somewhere in his throat as he relishes in your reactions. He clears his throat, catching your attention.
“Stupid,” he murmurs, reaching a hand out and laying it over the top of your head. You huff at him, smoothing your hands over your hair, hoping that all of the styling that you had done wasn’t ruined by Sukuna’s comically large palm.
“And that makes me stupid because?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow at Sukuna. He rolls his eyes, once again leaning down to be at eye-level with you again. This time, however, you challenge his stare with one of your own — pointed and cold, though not nearly as cold as the glare situated in front of you.
“It makes you stupid because you actually thought I’d take someone other than you to prom.”
His words make you positively flush from head to toe. You stand as still as stone in front of him, inhaling sharply as he adjusts himself again. He offers his arm to you, nodding in the direction of the opened gymnasium doors.
“So then why didn’t you ask me sooner?”
Sukuna rolls his eyes, sighing. “I’m not good at that kind of stuff, but trust me, you’re the only girl that I’d have ever even considered to take to this fuckin’ thing.”
You chuckle, rolling your eyes as you slip your arm into Sukuna’s. His chest swells at the smile that you flash at him, and in a moment of bravery, he leans down to press his lips to your own.
Thank God that you had decided to go to prom.
#colonelarr0w#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jjk angst#jjk fluff#modern sukuna
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Holy fuck! Not one, but TWO milestones to celebrate!
Sometime in April I hit 5000 followers and I was gonna celebrate then, but with my one year fic anniversary gbu899i (< my cat Gizmo typed this, we're leaving it here. Everyone wave to him) and mostly because the end of the semester right around the corner, I decided to wait until May in order to give this the attention it deserves. Here we are! May 10th marks one year of me writing fic here on tumblr, and I want to celebrate both achievements.
Your support has played such a vital role in making writing such a gratifying hobby of mine. Whether you’ve been here since I started writing a year ago or just recently stumbled across my blog, it means the world to me. Having people read, like, reblog, comment, and engage with my fics is beyond fucking incredible. You keep me inspired to keep writing.
It’s not easy for me to stick to a hobby for a year. Ask the 20% finished afgan I started knitting two years ago that hasn’t been touched in months!! It’s beyond cool to have both a date on the calendar and such a pretty number to reflect how hard I’ve worked, and neither the date nor the number would be possible without you. Thank you 🩷
So we’re gonna celebrate. I haven’t done one of these before, unless you count the time I hit 2000 followers and said “send me requests!” and then did just one of them and zero others because I was so overwhelmed. So we’re taking a slightly different approach this time…
I’m thinking an extended sleepover, lol. Depending on how many participate, for a week or so you can send me asks from the prompts below and we’ll have some fun with them.
@noxturnalpascal and @beefrobeefcal heavily inspired these choices with their recent follower celebrations 🩵
🐈⬛ Show and tell - send me pics of your pets, or Pedro if you don’t have any pets, brownie points for Kieran Culkin pics, or anything else that you love. And tell me all about it, and I’ll show you something I love!
👯♀️ I want to get to know each other better, so tell something about yourself or ask something about me. If you want, you can use this and this (⬅️ two send an emoji posts) for prompts
🏞️ Request a Moodboard (my favorite) I love doing moodboards, just tell me what you wanna see and I’ll do my best.
🗳️Send me a poll that you wanna see! Ask any question, let us all decide the answer.
🍆 Send me your dirty horny old man headcanons. I’m a horndog for some old men and I can’t change who I am.
📖 Send me your own writing (or another’s work that you love) I actually have a summer reading project where I’ve tagged each and every one of my mutuals to send me their own works for me to read all summer. So consider this just an extension of that- please send me the links to works you’ve written and/or works you’ve read and enjoyed so that I can enjoy them too and support fellow writers ✍️ 🩷 I enjoy just about anything, but I have a soft spot for dark/dub-con, masturbation, uhhhh anything hot and dirty like that.
👩💻Request some writing. I can do Joel, Roman Roy, and I’m maaaybe feeling brave about Frankie. @beefrobeefcal has dibs on my first Frankie fic anyway. Horny and debauched thots encouraged, dare I suggest dark as well? Fluff too, though I think I suck balls at writing it. I’ve been told I should do drabbles,,, that’s not really how I roll with my writing but I’m willing to try. It’s entirely possible and actually likely you’ll get a full length fic, in which case, it’ll take some time to get those done so bear with me. Depending on how many requests for writing I get, I may cut off requests at a certain point too. *It’s also possible I won’t jive with your idea, in which case please don’t feel bad. I only want to write something I feel I can do well, and if I can’t, that’s not on you.
GOD I am a rambler. I could have said so much less. But I hope to hear from some of you all and have some fun! Love you love you love you.
Tagging some friends, readers, and mutuals who’ve made writing what it is for me 🩷 I love you all @ievutebebe @pinkypromisepascal @yazsos @heartfairy @magpiepills @medellintangerine @merz-8 @bitchesuntitled @theweedisasterxoxo @covetyou @theywhowriteandknowthings @futuraa-free @smok3r7 @toxicanonymity @atticrissfinch @xdaddysprincessxx @whatsnewalycat @addictedtotlou @littlevenicebitch69 @marisferasiop @joelsgreys @just-some-random-blogger @ghostlovesbaguettes @sweetenerobert @swiftiegirliepop @joeloverture @dorims @munsonhoneybaby @umnitsa @nostalxgic @yazsos @rainbowcosmicchaos @rav3n-pascal22 @604to647 @starry-eyes-love @paleidiot @bluecookies-and-ink @beardedjoel @aestheticisinq @corazondebeskar @axshadows @kyloispunk @survivingandenduring @pedroswife69 @bean-is-reading @pedroshotwifey @casa-boiardi @knittingandfanfics @molt3ngold @worhols @iknowisoundcrazy @nostalxgic @pattwtf @cerridwen007 @corozondebeskar @blackmetalamazon @jazzysnazzys @sheepdogchick3 @alltheseperfectimperfections @mermaidgirl30
#````erdstrang3lov3#<<another thing my cat typed#he loves apostrophes#strang3lov3 celebration#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#roman roy x reader#roman roy smut#frankie morales smut#frankie morales x reader
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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
#ACLA24#ACLA24Leaders#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental justice#environment protection#environmental health#Youtube
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“When we first got put in the band, when we first got put in One Direction, throughout One Direction, it was kind of chaotic you know? Everywhere we went was chaos to it. Sometimes from fans looking on, it maybe looks kind of scary at times. And don’t get me wrong I always want everybody to be safe, me, the fans, of course. But I actually fucking love the chaos, I do! As long as it’s done safe. It gives me a real buzz. It’s really exciting. That’s kind of why at the end of my tour show I will go down to the front in the pit and just immerse myself in that passion and that energy, because it’s so infectious, that feeling. It makes you feel so good.”
-Louis on enjoying the (safe, consensual) chaos the LATAM countries can bring. (2 April 2024)
via Billboard Brazil
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the ultimate masterpost of things people have found involving satsuki's 'mesmerizer'
this isn't EVERYTHING everything, but channel is doing some arg shit to the vocaloid fans right now so i needed to compile this
1. what is mesmerizer?
mesmerizer is the most recent song released by satsuki. the mv was made by channel (caststation on twitter), who did things such as the popular rabbit hole mv and others. the song follows miku and teto, who are seemingly advertising an escape from reality. miku is hypnotized and goes insane.
2. teto's calls for help
throughout the mv, teto can be seen calling for help. the first example is at 0:36:
this is 'help' in asl.
the second example is at 0:50, where she blinks 'SOS' (...---...) in morse code:
during quiz time, the first letter of each word will spell out 'HELP.' i can't add the goddamn video because there's a 1 video limit
during quiz time, teto also does the hand symbol for 'help':
start with an open palm facing the person, then curl your fingers around your thumb. she does this three times.
miku, seemingly, does not call for help.
3. teto got hypnotized
at the end, teto is hypnotized. her eyes become all black, and she looks calmer. nothing much to say here
4. twitter
everyone thought it would end with the song. it's a one-off, right? it was released on april 27th, and nothing happened for a while.
on may 5th, channel tweeted this image:
(yes, the clown is a reference to circus panic, also by satsuki)
some letters are capitalized:
they spell 'WATCH THIS.'
also if you fuck around with the brightness the shape from the mv is there
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When I’m a fucking doctor you best believe I will single handedly reformulate the way ERs in the states conduct themselves. I will literally obliterate the current system and build a new one
#As a pre med who is now on the receiving end of this system I can confirm it’s like#Woefully broken#And it’s worse when it’s not you but a family member and you’re hurting watching them go through#All the bureaucracy and red tape#I fucking hate the healthcare system let’s all say it together#You guys are getting the calm version of me btw like I was dissociating dealing w this for the last few days#I hate it here but I had to vent or I would EXPLODE#Delete later ???? I hate talking ab this shit on the dash#Tumblr is supposed to distract me from all this but it’s fine I don’t think I had a public breakdown this April so had to meet the quota
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I literally do not have anything smart to say here, this drawing literally only happened because my siblings were telling me I should post my brainrot doodles on here, and my anxiety-ridden ass couldn't do it, and decided the only solution was to spend days (read: the entire latter end of April) working on a proper drawing because "if I'm going to post anything on tumblr, it better be a full-ass drawing"
#little fire's art#dragon ball#kaioshin#db shin#grand supreme kai#north supreme kai#south supreme kai#west supreme kai#idk the proper tags#and I don't really care rn#I just want to get this posted so I can hide in the Void for a million years or so#anyway#normal db fan: MY FAV CHARACTER IS [insert super duper powerful character here]#meanwhile#me: *holds up Shin* blorbo...#but hey this drawing did make me make some big steps out of my comfort zone for art#so I guess my db brainrot is good for something??#also for the record I DID finish this a couple days ago#my anxiety just prevented me from posting it here until now#but technically it's still a contender for April's art piece for the end of the year art summary#I'M NOT GOING TO MISS TWO M0NTHS#Feb sucked bc my tablet said fuck you and I had to replace it#if anything looks wonky pose-wise just remember I don't use pose refs much#bc I hate myself#no really#I just about drove myself insane one night trying to figure out how to draw Shin's right arm#bc the angle is weird and idk why I did this to myself#shut the fuck up Fire
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
#ACLA24#ACLA24HighSchoolStudents#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental education#environmental justice#environmental protection#environmental health#high school students#high school#youth#youth of america#school
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anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me
#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags#like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol#since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything#they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts#and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god#then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me#so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through#like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again?#and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence#it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’#to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’#and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’#WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’#and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win???#like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao#i leave end of the month#at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened#I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!!#I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are
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mkay not to be like. a little insane or anything. but god i've been going crazy over religion (catholicism) and blood lately. did anyone else drink blood as worship every week since they were seven. was anyone else inundated with images of open wounds as holy. is anyone else consumed by the thought of holding onto a crucifix tightly enough for the edges of it to draw blood. i turned in a poem about drowning in communion wine in an empty church while bleeding from crucifix-inflicted hand wounds and trying to talk to god and my creative writing professor gave me extremely normal critiques i feel like i'm losing my mind
#is ANYONE ELSE here.#also i made my poetry insta and i was gonna backpost but i think i might just sit and stare at it until april sfkghsd#it's me and my few hundred tumblr followers on my poetry acc. and the five thousand pornbots on this one ig#life is so. like.#i CONSTANTLY think that being raised catholic didn't do that much to me but obviously it did SOMETHING#you know what. yeah. cause i didn't end up with guilt over being queer but i did end up having my whole world view torn away from me#cause when god is the fundamental building block to everything...#my parents were extremely reasonable about things all things considered#but losing trust and faith in god is like having the bottom block pulled out of your little tower#and since i was fifteen i feel like i've been trying to either get it out fully without letting it all crumble#or trying to push it back without causing more damage#and the tower's never gonna be the same no matter what. you know.#i suck at self reflection so i never actually think about this stuff but dear god does it consume me#like no i did not end up with catholic guilt really. however being asked to examine yourself as a sinner at 7 will do things to you#HATE myself why am i still awake. so fucking upset i need to be up so early tomorrow skdjfgh#screaming and crying. anyway anyone else up thinking about catholicism and blood???#valentine notes#catholic tag
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okay so thinking about the greys episode where most of the staff accidentally eats edible cookies and this happening in the greys x tlou au world lmfao. imagine the residents (ellie, dina, jesse) trying to take care of their high as fuck attendings (maria, tess, joel, tommy, bill) after a parent gives them to tommy and he leaves them in their lounge
@bumblepony @clickergossip @theliterallylee @ameerawrites
#maria: (frantically tearing up her office)#ellie: ????? what are you looking for???#maria: MY GLASSES#ellie: … (takes them off her forehead) here#maria: OH THANK YOUUUU#later on#dina: okay everyone calm down the cooking aren’t poisonous they just have weed in them#tommy: MISSY YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH#dina: you knew they had weed in them???#tess and maria would end up in a dark room somewhere playing with one of those fancy screens that shows you the anatomy of the whole body#or talking abt cheese like that scene with maggie and arizona#or doing that nose humming/singing thing like whatever the fuck april and bailey were doing lmfao#joel would be half asleep#by the time jesse’s found him hes bought four bags of chips from the vending machine#ellie trying to get him to lay down: its okay dude ill cover your cases. go to sleep#joel: i love youuuuuu#bill is about to start a surgery and dina has to be like hey man maybe dont#greys au#tlou au#tlou#the tipsy bison
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girl help the hyperfixation’s returned but i already binged all the short angst fics featuring my Mental Illness™ in one night
#i shouldntve done that since i need to be awake today#but fuck if took me like 2 hours very tops to read everything from now to end of april last year what the fuck#also i can see i’m still the only person to have written that typa angst for kyoshi#(this is abt atla btw)#(if u couldn’t tell by my last few rbs lmao)#seriously though guys#my fellow atla fans#(specifically fellow zukka fans bcz it hits hard like that)#can we please write more short angst that caters specifically to my mental illnesses#or idk just whoever’s writing it’s mental illnesses i’m probably not the only one with this problem#i would suggest organising an event but there isn’t rlly a word for “angst/hurt/comfort shorter than 10k notes mental illness centric”#so can we just idk all write more#check my kyoshi fic for what i mean except it’s kinda bad so idk 😭#if someone gave me an idea i’d be down to write it but i don’t have one rn#atla#fanfic#ryan shut the fuck up
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idk who needs to hear this but growing native plants is not hard at all, at all
#you could be starting seeds RIGHT NOW assuming your last frost date is some time in april or somethin#put the seeds in the fridge in moist sand or a moist paper towel#if its too late buy them from the fuckin store somewhere. or wait till next fall and toss em on the ground after mild tilling#throw some metal mesh of some sort over it to protect it from the rodents and BOOM. there ya go. the seeds are cheap asf too#its hard to kill a native plant. they naturally grow in that environment for a reason.#you can go a day or two without watering sometimes in summer and still be fine (depending on the plant ofc & if theyre potted)#idk its just. like. so easy. everyone could do it. everyone SHOULD do it.#in an apartment? get a window flower pot and plant some in there.#no excuses to not try and do the bare minimum. every piece of turf grass you see should fill you with violent rage to the point where#your body feels physically compelled to grow native plants in retaliation.#some you can even grow inside. i have some vine cuttings im growing inside rn that i started some time last year at the end of summer#from a wild plant outside. just look up how to grow it. watch the jankiest video you can find first.#i trust the guy with the scuffed set up thats shakily holding his phone scooping home-made dirt into a red solo cup over the#pristinely filmed shots of a garden and a man all dressed up nice#i mean idk hes prolly got some good advice too i just trust the other guy more ykno#give a fuck#literally tho this vine is so tall rn its touching my ceiling sdvvfsdhgdfs idk wtf imma do with it.#but i love it and its one of my favorite native plants and i LITERALLY grew it in a fuckin red solo cup.
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being on the internet is so fun. i can come watch one of my childhood heroes make a whole twitter thread cyberbullying random women she's never met, putting anyone who says that's kind of mean on blast and then blaming them for the hate she sent their way via her hundreds of thousands of radicalized followers!
#like. jesus fucking christ#i dont expect better from her but its so fucking sad at its core. its just fucking pathetic#and thinking abt what her work meant to me and how much i loved it? and what it got me through?#i was reading these books to escape being bullied for seven years on end they quite literally kept me alive sometimes as silly as that is#yeah they sucked in a lot of ways i didnt pick up on but they were really important to me as a kid!#i would like to at least look back on birthday parties and road trips going 'well that wasnt perfect but i had fun and now ive learned'#rather than 'god i wish i had never heard of that'#and now shes. doing almost the exact same thing those people did to me on a larger scale. basically for a living#if she knew me shed probably call me the same shit they did back then. how sad is that#levi.txt#i genuinely want to know if she knows who anita bryant is. and if she can name anything specific anita did before campaigns#but then shed probably think of her as a fucking hero too. no sense of irony in her body#i just feel so fucking awful for the poor women shes calling out in those april fools posts. i hope theyre doing ok#i hope they can get away from the harassment somehow bc ive heard abt how intense it can be when it comes from her#and i hope they know theyre better women than shell ever be. its such a deeply mean spirited 'joke'
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#wrote a fucking poem#because a bitch is fucking feeling things#cue venting in the tags because this is where i'm feeling comfortable to do it right now#a while back i caught the love bug for a friend and tbFCKNh it was the very second time i'd ever actually fallen In Love with someone and..#the first time it didn't end well. long story short: i asked him out and he turned me down but we stayed friends and it actually made us..#grow closer regardless. a little while later i'd realized my feelings were Different and it just came out one night when we were having a..#really deep conversation. and i'm glad i told him because it helped me get over him and we got better and things weren't weird at all. we..#stayed really good fucking friends. now i didn't get to see him for a summer and i definitely don't have feelings for him anymore and i'm..#sincerely happy for him and his now partner. i consider him (and always have) my best friend. (among others but he's definitely Up There..#like no. 2 probably) but way too soon after Talking was summer and we were both farthest from everybody and are both the kind of ppl who..#pretty much don't text anyone except like 2 ppl and we are not one of each's 2. today i got to see him and a bunch of our friends for the..#first time since fucking april and god have i missed them all. but seeing him again kinda fucked me up a second. threw me for a massive loop#i got Weird (neg) and i was NERVOUS as HELL at the start and for a few minutes i couldn't figure out what it even WAS because i hadn't felt.#that way in a long time. and i am not about to catch those feelings for him again because No. i chilled out after like 3 minutes bc i got..#reacclimated to being around ppl My Damn Age again and things weren't Weird (neg) anymore. we talked we joked we sincerely said our I Miss..#Yous and we hung out. with everyone and alone for a bit because ppl had gone out and come back and it was FINE it was NORMAL () and we..#were GOOD. we ARE good. and i don't love him in that way anymore. i love him as a friend. and that love is definitely more intense than with#other friends because we have a deeper bond and yes because i Loved him. but the fact is i don't and it's ANNOYING to react like i still do.#and getting nervous like i still do. and i kept worrying that something i'd do might make it seem like i do and i don't and just UGH having.#feelings is annoying. i've never been able to stay friends with someone after having feelings for them at all let alone INTENSE IN LOVE FEEL#INGS!! like wtf!!! and this is sincerely one of the best friendships i've ever had and i don't want to and Won't. lose him especially for..#this but god DAMN am i not having it right now. and my head's been spinning like a fucking tornado in the 5min ride home and i accidentally.#wrote it out in a poem because the words wouldn't go anywhere when i just tried to brain dump about it because Of Course They Did. because i#can't think about this man in anyway except poetically and i can't write a poem unless it's about love in some degree and just UGH love is#and i'm gonna leave it there because i'm running risk of repeatin myself.#if you read all this i positively adore you and also you need to touch some grass bc reading the vents of internet dwellers is for suckers#i am just kidding i really do sincerely appreciate you and love you very very much thank you for caring#please ignore the following organizational tags:#writing#poetry
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i found out today that i wasn't the only person on my team to get laid off, which makes me feel better. misery loves company etc
#they axed TWO people on my team of FIVE. absolute massacre#the other guy is here on a visa too so he has to find a new job in 2 months or else he gets deported#fucking awful!!!!! at least i can take my sweet time. which i intend to lmao i need a week or two to recover#i get 8 weeks severance and i'm still gonna get my annual incentive in april which'll probably be another month of salary#and i do have savings. if i'm frugal i could be fine until the end of the year#but i obviously don't want to do that lmao i'm aiming for being employed or at least close within 2 months#anyway my work bestie gave me the scoop today. she's taking over my work for me when i'm gone#my last day is the 26th and from now until then all my meetings are with her to ~*~ knowledge transfer ~*~#half our happy hour squad was laid off 😭 our friend who works at the parent company was also laid off#we're gonna go out and get trashed friday night as a last hurrah#work bestie and i are still down to keep the happy hours going lol but we'll see how the other half of the squad feels#m.txt
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i’m so close to being done with this wip wtf
#.txt#i genuinely can’t believe it. but like. the end is actually in sight.#what an insane fucking month. insane.#and then comes the hell of revisions if i decide to post. I want to but it needs SO much work if it’s going up and it takes me twice as long#to revise as it does to write and I’d have to entirely rewrite sections so it wouldn’t go up until like. april? may?#i have a little femslash piece for the same fandom that’s waiting to be written so i might bang that out and post to get used to that world#and then go from there. smut I wrote on the airplane has a home there too#the behemoth
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one of the best things about getting out of a toxic situation and having enough time to sort through some of what happened is realizing you don’t owe those people more opportunities to hurt you
#got a text from one of the women from the racist gchat i bounced from back in april#and like. jesus my stomach just twisted and the guilt started to kick in#was i not nice enough should i give her a chance#and then i remembered: absolutely not#i do not trust people who side with racists and think making racist ironic jokes is at allacceptable#and i certainly don’t fuck with them in my daily life#like what would i even say#i’m deeply disappointed to learn your allyship and ideology ends where your comfortbegins#fuck it i don’t owe these women anything more than i already gave them#theyre lucky i didn’t bust them out on main and let all our mutual friends know how they talk when they feel safe#i gave them that chance to be better and it’s p more than i should have done#but i owe them fuckall at this point
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