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belle-keys · 3 years

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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kelsiekirbyy-scribbles · 3 years

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Here's more Dylan headcanons, but they're slightly more child friendly (as "child friendly" as this character can get)

💕Dylan Fuentes SFW Alphabet💕

[Warning: mentions of sex]

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's very affectionate and can barely keep his hands off of you. It can go from just petting to full on make out sessions

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Lets be honest, you'll most likely start out as a pet and the only way you've stayed alive is by being obedient or flattering your way to his heart

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves to cuddle, he's been touch starved for basically his whole life and loves the feeling of holding someone close

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

In Dylan's mind, nobody can really "tame" him and he isn't tied down to one person; but it can be done. It would take a lot of time, patience, and talking but after a while you could potentially call him your boyfriend and he would be fine with it

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There's really no "breaking up" with this guy in a traditional sense, you'll just get downgraded back to a toy, someone who he can keep around just for sex

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn't something he wants to do, even if he loves you dearly

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically? If he isn't showing you affection, then he's performing some kind of bdsm act on you....but will give you aftercare when the deed is done. Emotionally? He's soft. He'll melt at your touch and will swoon from being flirted with. He absolutely loves the attention

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Much like with cuddling, Dylan adores having someone close to him. If his partner is short, he loves picking them up for hugs

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Dylan often mistakes love for lust and cant seem to differentiate between the two, after all it can be assumed he never got love from his parents. However, if his partner constantly expresses their love for him, he'll slowly catch on

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets very jealous. The last time someone (nick) came in contact with his pets, they were freed; he can't have his favorite person taken away from him

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He doesn't have as much experience with kissing as much as he does having sex, but he still makes it work. If its mouth kisses you want then his mask would have to come off, its uncomfortable and a bit awkward otherwise

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Dylan is super awkward around kids and actually has no idea what to do around them; his daddy kink really doesn't help and he is just uncomfortable (hell, the kids probably are too)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Most mornings are spent trying to get out of bed but not being able to because his grip around you is so tight. Your options are: A) attempting to wake the heavy sleeper. Or B) suffering because you're too shy to wake him. On the rare occasion that he wakes up before you, he'll be petting you and planting kisses on your neck; just being an overall creep or cutie depending on how you view it

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Despite the obvious, sometimes you guys just chill on the couch and drink, occasionally telling jokes or sharing stories. Dylan is more of a night owl so expect him to be the most energetic during that time

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Whether he knows it or not, this guy's an open book and will project his feelings onto others. Eventually he will vent to you about his failures in life but at that point you'd pretty much already know everything

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He gets upset easily and at some points he seems like a child throwing a fit. Typically his anger isn't directed at you but it would be obvious if it was; Dylan just vents by having angry sex

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

In this order, these are the things he finds most important to remember:

Your kinks

Your past traumas/mental disorders

Your favorite pet names

The petty arguments you may have

Now of course, he pretty much remembers everything, but he finds these to be the most interesting. You can count on him bringing up some argument y'all had at 2:00 in the morning though, he's gonna tease the hell out of you for it

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The moments when you guys are winding down from having sex and he's giving you aftercare are his favorite times. You both sit on the couch and he has you in his lap, gently kissing your marked up body

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Dylan's super protective, killing any zombies or even survivors you may come in contact with. He would hope you'd do the same for him

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He doesn't worry too much about anniversaries or dates, but he does try to find you a gift every once in a while; whether you like the gift or not is none of his concern, sometimes he just wants you to wear a maid outfit for the hell of it

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Alcohol addiction is something he has a problem with, typically using it to deal with any negative thoughts he doesn't want to think about

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

If he doesn't look attractive, he doesn't want to be seen. He's too worried about looking hot than fighting off zombies

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He'd go on as his usual self, but things would definitely be more depressing than they used to be. He would try not to think about you anymore and would drink heavily to cope

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Judging from the guitar on the second floor, it can be assumed that he's at least competent in playing it

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who wants him to change who he is. Some bad habits/thoughts he could be fine with getting rid of, but he's not changing his perverted and dramatic personality. That's just who he is and if somebody didn't like it then he couldn't care less

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He's usually mumbling in his sleep about something, but its too incoherent to make out anything specific; he denies everything when its brought up

#dylan fuentes #x reader #dead rising 3 #sfw alphabet

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dangan-happy · 3 years

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KAME-HAME FORGET ABOUT IT!

I would like to say thank you to mod taichi, mod rantaro and mod komaeda. I am the anon who was desperate, the one who struggles with academic issue, keep sleeping past midnight because of extra chores, and struggling with executive dysfunction. I don't know how to refer myself haha

It's funny, I saw the notification from your blog about my ask when I was REALLY in need of comfort unexpectedly. it was one of the worse day, I failed the selection to go to college I'm aiming for. there is an alternate way by taking a test but it was a huge and important thing for me, because other relatives would talk (or possibly brag) about how their children are doing wonderfully in academic stuff to my parents. I don't want my parents to feel embarrassed because of me. so of course, it gives me a LOT of anxiety. my heart is beating rapidly that my chest hurts so much.

Then I receive your response to my ask. It's very comforting, it calmed me down. I may teared up a bit. I really appreciate the advices, encouragements, and hugs. (I love hugs) Especially mod komaeda's advices. Thank you so much, I appreciate them. They really mean a lot to me. I didn't realize how much I needed all of these. To be honest, when I was re-reading my ask, I almost can't believe I typed all that. I didn't realize how much I struggled and desperate I am. It was truly a moment of weakness lmao

I've been struggling to respond your response because,, well. I'm still struggling haha. Unfortunately, after I send that ask, things are getting hella rough for me. It was one of those unlucky phase of time, where your days get worse each day, except this time is WAY worse because I'm going to graduate in a month and I have an important exam in two days. Then I got hit by other problems too like a member of my group project doesn't corporate so we were late to submit and it was even half done (it happened just a hour ago and it gives me an emotional breakdown because it was an important one but I'm fine now), I got blamed for something I didn't do (this happens a lot anyway but I'm very drained mentally and physically), I accidentally spat something that I've been keeping to myself to my parents and made them angry (I don't want to talk about my true feelings to them bc they only make me feel worse or worse, they get upset), more homeworks to catch up and more stressful stuff .

Basically anxiety is on my ass 24/7. It's the worst time of my life.

But whenever I hit rock bottom I would re-read your response and it lifts me up, you know? It always cheers me up reading your kind words about me, and as cheesy as it sounds, it makes me feel hopeful haha. But I never felt this hopeful before. So I'm very thankful for it, and thankful for the other mods who work hard helping other people too who come to this blog. Because even though I'm still struggling and facing the worst time right now, I'm not doing as bad as before.

Is it alright if I ask for another hug? Sorry, this whole ask ended up with me venting again haha. But I really am doing not as bad as before... I guess I'm doing better. Step by step maybe. Again, thank you so much!!

( By the way, this is out of topic but... hopefully people who know me don't recognize me on this blog for this question haha (if they do then oh well. shrugs): which one does look scarier for you, Once-ler from Lorax or the character designs from the movie called Cats (2019)? I'm not hating the movie, my friend and I are having a lighthearted discourse about it. u_u )

(Neither. Neither one is even that scary at all, for I fear nothing ~ Mod Hajime 🍊🌈)

---

O-Oh, welcome back, kiddo! Whoa, that’s quite the ask you got here. But it’s more or less an update, i-if I’m correct, and a decent one at th-that. Like you said, it’s all step by step progress, wh-which is still progress no matter how you look at it.

I-I hate to hear that there’s been a few extra bumps along the road since your last ask, b-but I’m at least glad to hear that you’ve been making some sort of progress. Progress is still progress, no matter what. I-I’m just glad that you came to us. I-I’m just some average programmer, but I will agree that Nagito and Rantaro did amazing. Nagito’s... quite the interesting kiddo, but he means well, and Rantaro’s a brotherly figure th-that everyone likes, one way or another. Me? Ah, well... I-I can at least give good hugs, I guess?

S-Speaking of hugs, I’d love to give you one. I-I can at least do that right, heh. I’ll give you as many hugs as you want, kiddo. I personally don’t mind at all.

Hey there anon, you don't have to worry about referring to yourself, I remember you just fine! Hey, how's that for awesome timing huh? I'm glad you could read our answers when you needed it. I'm sorry to hear that you were having a worse day, but hey, it sounds like there's a way to make that test up a different way, so I'd give your all to trying that route. Don't give up just yet ok? Damn, yeah, I'm no stranger to the whole family bragging thing, that's a whole lot of pressure I think both of us can do without. It's really thoughtful of you to worry about your parents in this scenario, but you can worry about yourself too ok? Regardless of what you do, they should still be proud of you, and if they aren't, they're completely oblivious to your intelligence level and the amazing things you can do. Aw, I'm smiling real hard hearing how much our response helped, I'm always worried that I didn't help, or I somehow made it worse. Not gonna lie, this did give me a confidence boost. Hey, it's ok, you were in a more emotional state. It wasn't a moment of weakness. Everyone breaks down like that from time to time, and I'm happy that we were here to help you at the time. So don't feel bad about that, you're only human, and it's ok to get like that.

You don't have to worry about having the perfect response either. As much as I wish we could, we can't automatically fix any anons' problems, we can only toss our two cents in and cross our fingers that it helps. The good news is that you came to us with your struggles again, so we can try to help some more. Eesh, yeah, those periods are never fun. Pretty sure Komaeda knows more about them than I do, but I can understand at the least. First of all, congrats on graduating! That's real impressive all by itself, so hopefully you can take some pride in that. Ugh, ok, wow, the second part of that. Damn I got hit with all the feels. I hate it when group projects go like that. I'm usually stuck with all the work, or the one who's up at one am trying to finish the damn thing. I think I'm getting kinda incoherent, so sorry about that. I'm glad you're doing better on that end though, hopefully things work out with that. Aw man, I'm really sorry to hear about the blaming thing. Is there any way to prove your innocence? I'm not saying go all class trial or anything, but is there any way for you to argue your case? Even if it happens a lot, that doesn't mean it's ok. You shouldn't have to get used to things like that.

Yikes, yeah I can totally relate to the last part too. I'm also the type to clam up about my feelings because I don't wanna make anyone mad, but that happens some times, and honestly you had every right to say how you feel. You're keeping this all in, and it's gonna take a toll on you. Yeah, that's a whole lot of stress for one person to carry. I'm really impressed you haven't crashed and burned under the weight, seriously, you're an amazing, strong, resilient/ person, and it just blows me away. Trust me, you're gonna get through this stressful time. You're getting close to the end of it, and I know that you're gonna make it through. Damn, I'm smiling and blushing now. I'm really really glad we were able to help you out that much. Good! It's not cheesy at all! I'm glad you're feeling hopeful! The little steps are just as valuable as the big ones, and the fact that you're at least doing a little bit better is fantastic. Of course you can have another hug! It's ok, we're here to listen to vents, so say whatever you want to, no one's gonna judge you, I promise. Yeah, step by step, that's how you do it.

Oh damn, that's an interesting question. Honestly, I unironically love the Lorax movie, so the Oncerler ain't scary to me. Cats however...that was a trip. I don't have a better way to describe it, it was just a trip. So the Cats designs are way scarier. Like if I met the Onceler in a dark alley, I'd be just fine, but if I saw a cat-human-thing in a dark alley, I'd run for the hills. However, if I met the onceler fandom in a dark alley, that's a whole other story. Ok, I think I'm rambling again, so I think I better stop talking. Keep making those small steps forward ok? You got this.

W-wow... my advice actually helped someone? Please tell me your joking, or better yet pinching me. I can’t believe my little words could affect you so much.... I think I’m tearing up... hehe. I gotta admit, Rantaro and Taichi did a better job than me! What else do you expect from two amazing Ultimates! Anon, I’m terribly sorry to hear that some things have turned up and made your life a bit more harder, but I want you to keep your chin up ok? You’re doing amazing Anon, I can truly tell! Having a partner that doesn’t help with group projects stinks too! It’s ok that you vented again, it’s always good to speak your mind when you feel bad! Helps to let other people hear to so they can help you! And hey, compliments from Taichi? So nice of you! Never heard myself being called an “interesting kiddo” it’s cute!

I thought you’d never ask! I’d love to give you another hug! As long as you’d let me, I get worried when people want to hug me since I’m utter garbage, but if it makes you feel Hope, then I’m happy to oblige! Ah, and the Onceler or the designs of cats? I’d say the cats, I remember everyone having the hots for the Onceler once, so he can’t be that bad, right?

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #rantaro amami #nagito komaeda #mod hajime #mod rantaro #mod nagito

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clarelon · 5 years

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Ok so I'm going to have a little Malex rant into the void coz I don't know anyone who's watched it and I need to vent a little (read: scream incoherently).

So my first sight of the Roswell reboot was YouTube vids of Michael and Alex and I'll admit I was super sceptical of them as a couple mainly coz I adored OG Michael and Maria, they're honestly the reason I even finished the original series (and then bought the books!) but boy did some of those fanvids change my mind. Skip forward to me watching the entire season on a day off, finishing up at 2.30am while crying absolute buckets, which may have also been due to the fact I was going to be getting about 4 hours sleep before work, but that's a whole other issue!

Right, so the finale...ugh!! Yes, I totally get why Michael would feel like he needs to move on with someone other than Alex after everything that's happened, however my issue is similar to what was discussed on the Queer Alien Blast podcast, if Michael is going to get to move on in season 2 then Alex needs to be given that same chance and he should not have been left waiting alone at the end of the season, that was just cruel.

I know he's walked away from Michael too many times and I can understand and appreciate that Michael had decided enough is enough on that front but I just don't like the way it was handled. If Michael and Maria are going to be a couple in season 2 then I really want to have Alex being ok with them, even if it's just outwardly in front of them and others while breaking my angst loving heart when he's alone. What I really need to see though is Maria talking to Alex otherwise I'm gonna have serious issues with them taking this direction. She knows how Alex feels about Michael and while I get she probably thinks there's nothing really between them anymore, it's still bad form to move on your friend's love interest, even if you wholeheartedly believe it's just a crush or something.

Phew, ok I needed to get that out though apologies to anyone who might actually read it coz I know it's a bit scattered as I'm trying to write as fast as possible in work! Also I'm just all kinds of confused about how I feel about these boys!!

#malex #roswell new mexico #rnm #alex manes #michael guerin #queer alien blast podcast #how do i even tag these things??#help the old lady who's lost on tumblr!!

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coffee-obsessed-writer · 5 years

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Christmas With Hopper & the Waffle Maker

Jim Hopper x Reader; El, too, of course

A/N: This is for @sorenmarie87 ‘s Christmas Writing Challenge. My dialogue prompt was “You call this decorated?” along with the below aesthetic. I should note, this is my first time writing for Hopper, El or anything to do with Stranger Things, so please be kind, though constructive feedback is ALWAYS welcomed!

Unbeta’ed - all errors are mine. Aesthetic below created by the amazing Dawn (tagged above), who put this challenge together <3

Summary: Hopper could use a little help making his first Christmas with El a little bit better.

Warnings: A bit of language, some fluffy bits

Words: 6.3K

Tags: ehhh, just a few I think may want to read this... @kazosa @lefthologramdeer @moonchild-shoshanna @buckyscrystalqueen @rockyhorrorpictureshowstyle

The wind howled outside and followed you through the grocery store’s entrance with a ferocious push before you could force it shut behind you. Shaking off the snow from your coat and hat, you relished in the blast of artificially hot air from the vent above you, before heading further into the small market on Main Street.

Grabbing a hand basket, you started to wander the aisles, looking for something to make a quick dinner. Not that you had much of anywhere to be. Your shift as a dispatcher at the station was over, and no one was waiting at home except a cat, your book and a hot cup of tea. It was another long, boring night ahead, and the idea of cooking for one, again, was bringing you down.

Avoiding the huge Christmas display at the front of the store, you quickly ducked down one of the aisles and walked towards where some of the frozen items were kept. As you stood there trying to decide which meal to choose for the next few nights, you heard muffled grumbling and cursing coming from a few feet away.

You started laughing at him once you recognized the Chief of Police as the guy down on his knees, rifling through boxes of frozen waffles. He was clearly frustrated, tossing box after box of waffles into a messy pile on the floor. It was when he violently shoved the freezer door open and it rebounded, hitting him in the shoulder, did he finally stand up and audibly curse.

“God Dammit. You stupid piece of—(incoherent mumbling)…”

“Um… hey Chief. Need help with something?” you asked, half smiling, half nervous.

“What?” he barked in reply and whipped around only to notice he knew you. “Oh… Y/N. Hey. I was, uh, just—”

“Looking for more waffles?”

“Yeah,” he snorted with an embarrassed laugh. He immediately bent down and started tossing the boxes back into the bottom of the freezer.

“Didn’t have the kind you like?” you asked, watching with curiosity.

“Uh, no. My—Jane—my daughter, she only likes a certain kind and they don’t have them, again.”

“Oh, I see. I’m sorry. Something else she’d like better, maybe?”

“No. This is her thing and I promised her I’d get them for Christmas morning, and of course,” his volume increased with each word thereafter, as if shouting out to an invisible observer “there are none here!”

“I can give you my recipe for homemade waffles, if you like. They are a thousand times better than those frozen things.”

“Thanks, but, she’s sorta partial to these. Besides, its our first Christmas together, I don’t wanna… you know… screw it up by burning breakfast.”

“It’s super easy, Chief. Really. I bet she would even like to make them with you,” you raised a single, challenging brow at him, causing him to chuckle and release the tension he had built up.

“Says you. And we’re not at work Y/N, you can drop the Chief crap.”

“Ok, Hopper,” you said, though it felt strange to call him that, it felt better than Jim, “you really could handle it. Not like you’re trying to create something complicated. They’re just waffles.”

Hopper looked at you skeptically. His shoulders finally relaxed, and though he sighed, there was a small, excited smile on his face. “Alright, I’ll make the damn waffles.”

The way he looked in that moment, caused a little rumble of something deep down inside you; in that place that had not often been brought to life. Here was your boss, your Chief of Police, someone who didn’t smile very often, making you feel slightly light on your feet. Before you could think about it any further, you heard yourself reply.

“I can help you get the ingredients here for you if you like, there’s not much too it.”

“Yeah—um, that would—” his watch began beeping and interrupted his train of thought. “Shit! I’m so late. And on Christmas Eve of all days… She’s gonna—” He paused again and ran a hand through his hair. “Shit! The decorations… the food. Dammit. Some dad I’m gonna be.”

He was flustered, and you could see the panic start to set it. “Stores are almost closed, I’m not going to have time…”

“Jim. Stop and breathe,” you said and placed your hand his arm gently. It stopped his rant and brought his attention to you. “Let me help. What do you need?”

Hopper exhaled with a growl and rubbed at his face. “Uh, well, waffles, apparently. And, a tree, maybe decorations, I dunno… I mean I have some up, but this is her first real Christmas, you know? I wanna make it memorable for her, but if I get home late, she’s gonna lose it again. I can’t be late four nights in a row…”

Hearing him talk about his daughter only intensified the rumblings that began before. Now, the warmth of a long forgotten feeling was traveling further through your veins, and you were beginning to get nervous. Why was Jim Hopper suddenly bringing on these feelings? You’d worked with the man for five years now, and never once before now did you really notice how handsome he was, or how his voice made the hairs on your neck tingle.

At least, not until right now.

“Ok… here’s what you’re going to do. Go home. I’ll get everything you need to give your daughter the best Christmas and bring it to the house.”

“No. No! I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s too much. Plus, it's snowing, and I’m not at the house, I’m up at my grandfather’s cabin. It’s a hike to get up there.”

“First off, you didn’t ask. I offered. Second, I want to help. I heard a little bit about your daughter, and I think you wanting to give her a great Christmas is really sweet. Third, I literally have nothing else to do tonight and if I could spend Christmas Eve helping a little girl have a nice Christmas, how I could I say no?”

He starred at you for a minute, contemplating your offer. Hopper looked down at this watch again and nodded slightly. “Alright, if you’re sure. I will gladly take the assist.”

“Good. Now go home before she chews you out and I’ll be along shortly. Just need directions to your place.”

Hopper pulled out a scrap of paper from his pocket and you quickly dove into your purse for a pen. He scribbled down the directions and made sure you could follow them. Once you safely added them and the pen back to your purse, Jim grabbed you by both shoulders and bent down to meet you eye level.

“You deserve a raise for this, really. You’re a lifesaver.”

“What are friends for?” you said and smiled. “You best go, Chief.”

“Jim… or Hopper… whatever you… uh—yeah, I should go. See you soon!”

He started running down the aisle and remembered the remaining few boxes of frozen waffles currently defrosting on the floor.

“I got them,” you called, “GO!”

You watched him dart from the store and couldn’t help but snicker when you saw him through the store’s front window sliding on the snowy sidewalk and right into a couple walking by.

This was very unexpected twist to your evening, but you felt excited to help. Especially if it meant seeing Hopper again outside of the station. That was also something you didn’t expect; wanting to see him again, and so badly.

Twenty minutes later, you had all the necessary ingredients for the waffles and the few groceries you thought might come in handy. You made your way back to the Christmas display at the front of the store and gathered another handcart full of ornaments, lights, garland and some other things you thought Jane might enjoy. Right before the check out, there was a small display of jewelry that caught your eye.

On the display, in pre-wrapped boxes with Christmas decorations, were delicate necklaces and bracelets. One set was a simple strand of silver stars that sparkled when they caught the light. On a whim, you grabbed it and added it to the items for checkout.

After a quick stop at your house to drop off your frozen dinners and grab some baking essentials you were sure the Chief wouldn’t have, you were headed back out towards his cabin. The weather had worsened and being as far off the beaten path as he was, it took far longer to reach Hopper’s cabin then you anticipated.

The headlights of your car finally swept across the last turn and revealed the cabin a hundred yards up in the distance. You got as close as you could and grabbed a handful of bags. Trudging through the snow with the wind whipping around you, you saw the front door open, and felt relief. In a dash, Hopper was at your side and gathered the bags from your hands.

“There’s more, I’ll go back—” you started but he immediately cut you off.

“No, no. Go inside where’s its warm, I’ll get the rest.”

Taking the last few steps at quick pace, you bounded up onto the small porch and inside the warm cabin. For the second time that night, you shook off the snow from your shoulders and relished in the warm air circling around you. Once the chill subsided, you could feel the weight of someone’s stare clinging to your back. Slowly, you turned around and saw a girl standing there. She couldn’t be more than twelve or thirteen, with big brown eyes and a mop of curly brown hair on her head.

The girl, you assumed was Jane, watched you curiously as you draped your coat over your one arm and swiftly pulled off your gloves.

“Hi,” you said and held out one hand. “You must be Jane.”

She took a few steps forward and hesitantly held out her hand.

“El,” she said softly and swallowed thickly as she gingerly shook your hand.

“El?” you asked, but just as Hopper came through the door with the armload of supplies and a blizzard of snow.

He dropped the bags, and you managed to grab the ones with the eggs before they crashed to the floor.

“Are we setting up a bakery in here or what?” he asked, his breathing labored, and his cheeks blushed red from the bitter cold air.

“No, I just brought some extra supplies in case you wanted to make some cookies, or something. I was just saying hi to your daughter.”

“Right… Jane—”

“El,” she said again and louder than before, but this time her small features were set in determination, and Hopper didn’t challenge her.

“Nickname,” he replied to you, and moved the bags to the kitchen table. “El, this is (Y/N), she works with me at the station.”

“The waffle maker?”

Her response made you giggle and slightly embarrassed Hopper. “Ye—yeah, the waffle maker. Anyway, she’s going to teach us and then, we’ll make waffles for tomorrow, just like promised.”

“Cool,” El said and moved to the bags on the table.

You went to help her unpack the bags and came across the one holding the decorations. Looking around the cabin to see what he already had put up, you saw an old woodman snowman displayed near the doorway and two stockings hung near the wood burning stove.

“Um… I thought you said you had some decorations up. You call this decorated?”

“Yeah, I mean, we got the stockings, and this guy here,” he held up the snowman and looked between you and El. “What? He’s festive. Look, he’s got a red and green scarf. See? Festive.” He waved the small piece of fabric back and forth, making both you and El giggle.

“Well, I brought along some extras, just in case. The only thing I couldn’t find was a tree. Lot was closed by the time I got there.”

“Good thing we are surrounded by them. Why don’t you get all that nonsense set up and I’ll go find us a good tree; there are a few outback that may be the right size.” He got his coat and gloves back on turned to El. “You ok with that kiddo?”

“Fine with that,” El replied still going through the bags, barely acknowledging him.

“Right. Ok. Here I go,” he breathed and headed out to find a Christmas Tree.

You turned back to El, and while she was distracted, grabbed the bag with the gift and put it aside.

“So, do you like to bake cookies?” you asked, curious about the quiet girl. She seemed to contemplate your question, and then finally looked up at you with her brow creased.

“I don’t know.”

“Have you ever made cookies before?”

She shook her head.

“Would you like to learn how?”

El considered the question and a small smile found its way to her lips. “I would like that very much.”

While Hopper was out searching for a tree, you went about the process of making sugar cookies, explaining it step by step to a very attentive Jane Hopper. She watched with intense curiosity as you shifted the flour and managed the butter and eggs, whipping it all up into a tasty dough, that you then rolled out and cut with shapes like Christmas trees, snowmen and gingerbreadmen. The first two batches had cooked and cooled by the time Hopper came bursting through the door, nearly frozen through and dragging a good-sized pine tree.

“Heat, heat, heat, heat…” he kept mumbling over and over as he dropped the tree in the entry, slammed the door shut and went right for the wood burning stove. Once he had defrosted a little, he turned to you and saw the cookies spread out across the kitchen. “What’s all this?”

“I brought her stuff to make cookies, too. Figured I would keep her company and we would get these all baked while you got the tree, so you two could decorate them together later.”

“That was real sweet, Y/N, thank you. It smells amazing in here. Reminds me of my gram’s kitchen,” Hopper said, a wisp of nostalgia softening his features. “Let me get the tree up. Found the stand out in the shed, then we can talk waffles.”

True to his word, the tree was up in the stand in a matter of minutes. It was more than six feet tall and the top brushed against the ceiling of the cabin. El was excited as she shifted through the different ornaments, closely examining each one.

Hopper helped her open some of the packaging and when everything was ready to go, he ruffled her hair. “Gimme a sec, kid and I’ll find some music to put on and you can start decorating.”

He went through the vinyl collection and laughed out loud when he found what he wanted. “Now, this is music,” he crooned as he slipped the album from its cover and onto the turntable.

The smooth voice of Elvis Presley filled the cabin, as Santa Claus is Back in Town began to play. A huge grin came alive on his face as he turned to El, grabbed her hand and began to twirl her around the room. She was laughing heartily and going along with his shenanigans.

You loved watching them together. The little girl had a way of bringing out a playful side to the Chief you could never imagine existed. Knowing what you did of his past, you were overjoyed to see him having so much fun and enjoying life outside the station. You felt a little guilty, watching them dance and having such a good time; almost like you were intruding on a very special family memory-making moment. But as the song faded away, he let her go and she immediately picked up the lights and began to string the around the tree.

Hopper joined you in the kitchen, leaning back against the wood block counter, and very close to where you were doing the same.

“She’s a great kid,” he mused softly, watching her go about lighting up her first Christmas tree.

“She’s lucky to have you,” you said, pushing off the counter and going back to cleaning up from the cookies.

“I’m the lucky one,” he said, and followed your lead, wiping up the counter and closing the ingredients. “She came along and… Hell. I guess we were there for each other.”

“You’re both lucky.”

You sighed, but not loud enough for him to hear you. Watching them stirred up something in you that you thought you’d put behind you. A family, kids… they weren’t in your future; mostly because you never really wanted them. The past few years had proved to be a little difficult, and very lonely. Now, watching these two together, and the feelings that had stirred earlier for the Chief, you were suddenly envious of what they had, and so wished you could experience your own family one day.

“I should be going,” you said suddenly, and shoved a piece of paper at him. “This has the recipe for the waffles. Just follow that, waffle maker is there, and I’ll get the other stuff back from you next time I see you at work.”

“Whoa, whoa, what’s the rush?” he gently touched your elbow. “Stay a while. Besides, the snow is only getting worse, its pitch-black outside and I would love to have someone to share this with,” from under one of the cabinets he pulled out a mostly full bottle of Jack Daniels. “No one man should drink this much alone. People could talk… make assumptions.”

Against your better judgment, you smiled and snickered. “What are you talking about?”

“You know how these old house wives can be… that Chief Hopper, he sure drinks alone a lot,” he said, mimicking the ones he was talking about. “You could help crush those rumors.” He raised the bottle up. “You said you had no other plans. Stay. Bake more cookies, help me make waffles for the kid.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your Christmas, Hopper.”

“Who’s intruding? I’m asking you to stay.” He tried not to smile through the serious look he wore when he used your own tactic against you. “What do you say?”

A slight vibration of excitement began to hum in the pit of your stomach. You wanted to say yes and spend the rest of Christmas with Hopper and El, but something about it still felt wrong.

“What about her, what if she wants you and Christmas to herself. You said yourself its her first real Christmas. She doesn’t need some co-worker of yours to ruin that.”

“Co-worker?” Hopper snorted a laugh and raised his brows incredulously. “Look, after what you did for me tonight, you’re much more than that. Besides, she’d want you to stay. She likes you. Watch… hey, kid. Do you mind if (Y/N) stays and celebrates Christmas with us?”

She stopped mid-decorating and turned towards the kitchen. El took a few tentative steps towards where you and Hopper stood.

“New friend?” she asked.

“Yup, she sure is,” he responded and looked towards you.

“Ok then. Stay,” the corner of her mouth pulled up into a crooked grin before she turned her attention back towards the tree.

Hopper cleared his throat and nudged his elbow gently into your arm. “See, she wants you to stay. So, stay.”

“Fine, you got me, I’ll stay at least until the storm dies down.”

“Great! I’ll grab the glasses and you can make the waffles!”

Three whiskeys later, the tree was completely decorated, Elvis’ Christmas album had played through at least twice and El was laying sleepily on the couch with the remnants of a decorated sugar cookie laying beside her.

“Hey, kiddo,” Hopper bent down near the couch. “Whaddya say you head off to bed? Hm? Santa doesn’t come until you’re in bed and fast asleep.”

“Santa?” she asked, half paying attention.

“Remember, the big guy in the suit with the beard that brings the presents?”

She turned her head to him and smiled, tugging at his beard and chuckling. “You’re Santa!”

He snorted a laugh and helped her sit up on the couch. “Come on, off to bed with ya.”

The girl reluctantly got up and put the sugar cookie back on the plate before coming over to you and giving you a brief hug. “Thank you for the cookies and the decorations.”

Her embrace, though it was loose and slightly hesitant, took you by surprise and overwhelmed you with a swell of emotion. “You’re so welcome. Merry Christmas, El.”

“Merry Christmas, waffle maker,” she smiled that sweet and crooked smile again before leaving you and saying goodnight to Hopper.

“Night kiddo. Sleep good, and tomorrow… presents.” Hopper kissed her head and followed her into her room to be sure she was warm and tucked in.

Once she was, he came out and quietly closed her door behind him. “She’s already out.”

“Poor kid, holidays can be exhausting,” you mused as you went about cleaning up the remainder of the baking supplies. “Now, everything you need for tomorrow is right in the fridge. Flour is here, and the waffle maker is right there.” You dried your hands on the towel and headed to the coat rack to get your coat. Before you could slip it over your shoulders, Hopper was waving you off.

“What do you think you’re doing? You can’t leave, now.”

“Why? It’s late and I suspect Santa has a few more things to wrap,” you teased.

“Yeah, maybe. But ma’am, you’ve been drinking. What kind of cop would I be if I let you drive all the way back into Hawkins town proper after you’ve been hittin’ the bottle?”

You snorted a laugh, thinking he was kidding, but the expression he wore said otherwise. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“And what do you propose I do? Sleepover?”

“Would that be so terrible? You could have another drink with me. Help me wrap some presents and be here in the morning to make the waffles.”

“You just made a very successful batch yourself, Chief. I think you can handle it.” Shaking your head, you continued to put your coat on, ignoring the fact that he was now standing between you and the front door.

“Well… what if I want you to stay? Would you stay?”

He was gazing at you, his eyes soft but hopeful. There was something in there that seemed to be silently pleading with you to say yes, though you just assumed it was the Jack talking through him. In a split second, a myriad of thoughts went through your head, and there was no way to differentiate between them all in that moment. Your gut said stay. Your heart said stay. Your mind told you to run all the way home.

Two out of three… majority rules I guess, you thought as you started to take off your coat. “Alright, Hopper. I’ll stay. But only if you pour me some of that egg nog and add a shot of Jack to it.

“One spiked egg nog, comin’ up,” he said, a smile unfurling under his whiskers.

By the second spiked egg nog, you and Hopper had finished wrapping the few things he got for El and exchanged more than a few stories while sitting around the warmth of the wood burning stove. The tree twinkled in the corner, and a brief lull had come over the room. The only prominent sound was the crackle of the wood from inside the iron giant next to you.

“This is a great cabin you have here,” you started, suddenly nervous and more than a little tipsy.

Hopper sat up from the couch with a groan and nodded in agreement. “It was my grandad’s place for years, then I just used it for storage. When Jane—El, came along… she, uh, needed some time to transition. Get used to me, you know? Thought this was safer than being in town.”

“Are you planning on going back to town anytime soon?”

“Yeah, most likely after Christmas. Trying to get her enrolled in Hawkins Middle for the new year. She’s a smart kid, already has some friends there, so I am hoping that its not too much on her.”

“Seems like she’s had a rough go of it,” you said thoughtfully, daring a glance at the big man beside you.

His blue eyes were semi-glazed over, but still twinkled with the reflected lights of the tree. He looked thoughtful and ran a hand over his mouth and down his beard before meeting your gaze.

“Rough is one way to describe it. Maybe one day I can tell you all about it,” he paused, and chuckled to himself. “Maybe one day. But, tonight… we celebrate Santa!”

He absently patted your knee before standing from the couch and going back to the record player. Leaving Elvis on the turntable, he moved the needle further onto the record, and the first notes of Blue Christmas began playing. Hopper came back over to you, grabbed your hand and pulled you up from the couch without asking. He just wrapped his arms around you, holding one of your hands to his chest, his other around your waist, and started dancing you around the room.

Singing along with Elvis, he spun you and then pulled you close again. The more he moved you and sang along, the bigger your smile grew. His hands were warm and surprisingly soft. You loved how he was gently brushing his thumb against your back as he spun you around the room and tucked your hand into his chest deeper with each twirl.

Hopper moved you in closer and let his face press intimately against your cheek as he continued singing along. The breath from his words felt like a warm burst of heaven against your ear, and you found yourself falling for him faster than you thought would be possible.

The song began to fade out, and a more up-tempo one took its place. You didn’t want it to end, but you also felt suddenly nervous around him. Whether it was the whiskey, or the abrupt sprout of feelings for the man, you needed a moment to think.

“Bathroom?” you asked, feeling warm from the heat and the booze, but mostly the closeness to the Chief..

“Right there,” he pointed and watched you as you entered it and swiftly shut the door.

Starring at yourself in the small vanity mirror, you tried to calm your breathing and splashed some cold water on your face. From the other room, the music stopped, but Hopper kept on humming the tune and mumbling the words of Blue Christmas. Taking another moment or two, you took a few deep breaths, and rejoined him in the other room.

“Hey, come here,” he said and waved you over to the window, “it finally stopped snowing.”

You peaked out of the curtain to see a beautiful, serene blanket of snow covering most everything. The night’s illumination made it look like something out of a fairy tale, casting an even deeper fantastical glow over the night as the snow sparkled under the full moon.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, afraid that saying it any louder would break the spell.

“It sure is,” he said, and when you turned your face up to glance at him, you realized he was looking at you, and not out the window.

The needle lowered back onto the record, and Silent Night began to play softly just as Hopper took your chin between his fingers and lifted your face up to his. Despite the copious amounts of spiked egg nog, you felt instantly sober as you grasped that he was about to kiss you.

You didn’t stop him, you wanted him to kiss you—and if you were being honest with yourself—it was from the moment you saw him in the market. There was no reason as to why then, but after spending the evening with him and his daughter, it was the only thing you wanted for Christmas.

Hopper paused, only briefly, just before his lips touched yours. When you didn’t pull away, he gently pressed his lips to yours. The bristles of his beard tickled your lips, but the feeling of him against you was something else entirely. The had a magic all of its own.

His fingers slipped from your chin, and cautiously wrapped around you and drew you into his chest. Holding you closer now than when you were dancing, you kissed him back with all your newly found feelings. It only encouraged him to return it deeper, and with a sudden flare of passion.

His lips parted, guardedly allowing his tongue to know yours. When they touched, it sent a bolt of shivers down your body, making your knees feel weakened and a tingle of warmth to grow within you. You felt you could lose yourself in him, very easily, and that thought scared you into pulling back from his kiss.

“Hopper… wait,” you breathed, putting your hands on his chest to give yourself a little distance. “This is… wow.”

“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t’ve—” he mumbled and shook his head.

“No, please… don’t apologize. I wanted you too, very much,” you paused and flashed a glance towards El’s room. “Its just a surprise, you know? Like, wow. What’s happening here?” you laughed nervously and ran a hand through your hair.

“I have no clue. I’m really, terrible at these kinda things. But tonight, tonight was fun. Watching you with El, and the way you just sorta swooped in and helped me. It felt good to laugh, and not feel like a sad sack of shit on Christmas. Having her,” he said and pointed towards her room, “and you here, I don’t know. It just feels nice.”

He hesitantly caressed the side of your face and seemed as though he was going to kiss you again, but a sudden yawn made him divert away, then lay his forehead against your shoulder with a groan. His whole body animatingly slumping down, too.

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “It’s been a long day, Hop. Come on.” Taking his hand, you lead him over towards the couch and allowed him to fall onto it with a thud. You inhaled sharply and laughed as he pulled you down next to him and draped his arm over your shoulders, drawing you into the crook of his arm.

He rested his head back against the couch, his eyes closing, but a ghost of a smile was left on his face. “Best Christmas in a long time,” he mumbled as he snuggled you into him. “In a long, long time.”

Taking a deep breath, you felt yourself settle into him and close your eyes. Sleep came quickly after.

When you woke, Hopper was snoring softly beside you. Carefully you got out from beneath his embrace without waking him. El was still asleep and you thought it best to leave, so they could enjoy their first Christmas together as a family. Also, this way there would be no awkwardness between you. Maybe he would regret how close you had gotten the night before. Leaving now would give him an out if he woke up with a different mindset.

You took the gift you got from the store, signed the little tag To El, and left it under the tree with her other presents. Leaving everything else behind, you made your way out onto the porch and took in the serene view before you. Christmas morning donned with a cotton candy sky and a blanket of undisturbed snow that looked like scene from a post card. Not wanting to chance them waking before you left, you quietly made your way down to the car and drove away towards home.

The rest of your day went on as normal. You got home, took a hot shower, made some breakfast before going on to phone relatives far and wide to say Merry Christmas. You had hoped that maybe Hopper would call. He certainly should have had your phone number somewhere in that brain of his. But when he didn’t, you reluctantly picked up the receiver and dialed the various family members. Each conversation was the same…

Why didn’t you come to visit?

I am covering a shift today at the station, so Florence could spend it with her family.

Do you enjoy spending Christmas alone?

It’s not so bad, honestly. (you’d lie)

If you’d settle down with a nice man, you wouldn’t have to be alone.

Oh yes, maybe one day… (you’d say with a laugh but there was no humor in it)

When that torture was finally over, you got yourself ready and headed off to the station to cover the phones for the evening.

Only one officer was on duty, Officer Finlay, a middle aged, divorced man who’s only ambition in life was to do as little as possible. Hawkins was normally a quiet town anyway and being that it was Christmas, the most you could really expect to get was a call from the local bar about a drunken disorderly. The night drug on without incident, and as the sun set on Hawkins that Christmas day, you decided to fix up a little dinner for you and Officer Finlay that you brought from home.

Standing in the small kitchen area of the station, your back was to the room when you heard the PA system click on with a whine before the sounds of Elvis singing Blue Christmas came through. Thinking that Officer Finlay was playing the music, you paused at the recognition of the song and thought back to last night and the time you spent dancing with Hopper.

You just stood at the microwave, lost in thought about the night before and wishing you hadn’t left the way you did. Before you could think of all the ways you blew things with Hopper before they even began, you heard someone clear their throat from behind you.

When you turned, you saw Hopper and El both standing there, cheeks bright pink from the cold air and a huge grin on the girl’s face.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, as El quickly moved in to hug you.

You caught the girl and hugged her back, noticing she had on the gift you left her. The silver stars sparkled back at you, as you gave her one last little squeeze.

“Its so pretty!” she exclaimed, as you bent down and admired it on her.

“It looks beautiful on you, El,” you said, lightly touching the chain. Looking back up at Hopper, you saw him watching you and tried to discern the expression on his face. Was he upset with you for leaving it? Or for leaving at all? Was he remorseful about kissing you… did he even remember kissing you?!

“You left without saying goodbye.” He looked disappointed. “Then, once she opened that, she insisted we come and find you.”

“You didn’t stay for waffles,” she added, her tone thick with disappointment.

“I’m so sorry, I really thought you guys might just wanna spend the morning together.”

“Come back for dinner,” she asked, her doe-like brown eyes quietly pleading with you to say yes. “I promise, no waffles. Hop says we have to have a vegetable.”

You laughed heartily at her response and hugged her again. “I would love to come for dinner, but I have to work tonight. Rain check?”

She looked confusedly up at Hopper. “Rain check?”

“It means can she come another time instead. But, that’s not necessary. Finlay!” Hopper called out, turning to find the officer. “You can cover the phones for her tonight, right?”

“But—” he started and read the Chief’s expression and threw his hands up in the air. “Yeah, fine. But the stew, stays.”

“Fair enough,” he said and turned back around, his blue eyes twinkling a bit mischievously. “So, dinner and maybe a bit more Elvis?”

That warm glow of long-forgotten feelings grew again and there was no way you would or could turn him down. Or El, for that matter. Within the course of a day, they both became two of your very favorite people. The more time you could spend with them, the better.

“Yes, I would love that.”

El was visibly excited, Hopper was a bit subtler about it. He quickly glanced over his should at Finlay, who was now sulking at his desk, then back to you. Taking your hand, he gave it a squeeze and took a step closer to you.

“Good, cause the kid really likes you.”

“I really like her.”

“I might, kinda like you, too. I mean I always have but…,” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. When he spoke again, his voice was lowered so only you could hear him. “Last night was pretty great. Would like to do it again, maybe a little less drunk, so I don’t pass out just when things get good.”

You could feel yourself blush but was also excited at the thought. “I’d like that very much.”

“That’s good,” he said and then sung along with the song still playing over the PA. “Cause, it’d be a Bluuuee Christmas, without you…”

El rolled her eyes and hit him in the ribs.

“You’re lame,” she teased and shook her head.

Hopper raised his arms in defense. “Hey, I am not lame, ok. I am…” he trailed off, looking to you for help.

“Oh no pal, you are suuuper lame,” you agreed with her, and gave her a wink.

“I can see how this night is gonna go. May have to break out that whiskey again afterall,” he grumbled with a reluctant smile. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Keeping your hand in his, and El’s in his other, the three of you left the station to head to the cabin for Christmas dinner and who knows what else. Either way, you knew that things would never be the same again after that Christmas day.

#Christmas With Writing Challenge #Jim Hopper x Reader #jim hopper x you #jim hopper x reader insert #chief hopper x you #christmas fics #jim hopper

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harry-saopaolo · 6 years

Text

Red Ribbon

Harry surprises Y/N by telling her how he feels but Y/N has a surprise of her own.

“My mum said if someone is sad just give ‘em a cupcake and all will be better”

That day was Harry’s first day in school and he was alone. It’s not that he didn’t want to have friends but he just didn’t know how make friends. Every third grader was at the playground having someone to chat with, play tag with while he sat on the swing having no one to push him.

But that’s when she came. The first thing he saw was her red ribbon shoes. It had a cute little bow on it. Then he saw the yellow dress, suddenly his day was a little brighter and things weren’t as dull as before he saw her. He looked higher to look at the owner of the shoes and there she was, hair adorned with yet another red ribbon. She smiled sweetly and handed him what seemed to be a Vanilla cupcake. Her mom sure was right, cause whether it was because of the cupcake or her, his day surely was better.

That was also the day he was sure he wanted to be friends with her forever.

“Wait, so you tell me, you’d rather finish a jar of mayo every month for the rest of your life than drink soda from your shoe once? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

They were taking a study break cause their heads were already hurting from trying to understand trigonometry so Y/N proposed a little game of ‘Would you rather...’ and she was getting frustrated by his answers by the minute.

“You’ve seen my running shoes, love. It ain’t pretty” He says before popping a handful of Skittles into his mouth.

“Oi, you’re eating all m’orange ones you knob!”

“Why don’t you get ‘em from me?” He mocks as he opens mouth.

“Eww, so I’d get slutty germs from when you kissed Jen last night? No thanks. I’d love to be as HIV free as much as possible, If you mind”

“Love, you’re just saying that cause you hate her guts”

True.

She hates Jen with every fiber of her being. Ever since high school came around, she suddenly became interested in Harry. She would do things to get on Y/N’s nerves like act sick in front of Harry so he could take her to the infirmary, leaving Y/N all alone and act so sweet and innocent when he’s around. Jen would even give Y/N backhanded compliments like ‘’Ooh I love how old your skirt looks!” or “When other people wear too much makeup, it doesn’t look right but you pull it off just right!”. Her blood boils just by thinking about her.

“Don’t get all worked up now, love. Broke it off with her last night. Nothin’ to get your panties in a twist.” She can’t help but be surprised. Sure she hated her guts but if she made her best friend then she’d just keep her feelings at bay.

“What?! And you didn’t think it was worth telling me?”

“I’m telling you now aren’t I!”

“You know what I mean!” She had to stop to calm herself. “ Why? What did that bitch do? Tell me bub” He loved her pet name for him. It was the right amount of playful and sweet. She lets it slip every once in a while, knowing how much Harry loves and finds comfort in it.

“Nothin! jus’ wouldn’t stop yappin’ her mouth. Would’ve been better if she used it for something else better than talking, right love?”

“Alright, I’m out that’s fucking gross”

“Yeah yeah, act all concerned and whatnot but deep inside you’re happy I finally got rid of her” He always saw right through her.

“No, I’m not” Although saying that, She can’t help but smile.

That’s when he knew he’d do anything to make her smile.

“ Can’t believe I gave myself to him only to find out what a fuckin’ dickhead he is”

Harry came as soon as he heard her voicemail which was basically Y/N sniffling and mumbling incoherent words. He was lucky enough to make out the words “Come ‘ere. I need you, bub.” with that he bolted out of his apartment to hers. Now they were cuddled up on her bed, sharing a bowl of ice cream. A variety of things were laid on her bed, there were torn up pictures of her now ex-boyfriend, balled-up tissues and the necklace that was given to her by Brad. To her defense, she did try to break it but after the red marks it left on her palm and it still being unscathed, she gave up and just tossed it on the bed. Friends was softly playing in the background, the episode where Chandler lost the gold bracelet Joey got him was now forgotten.

“He wasn’t even good! Fucking sloppy as ever. Brad. What kind of name is that anyway? Straight out of a fuckin’ porno”

Harry didn’t say anything. Letting her vent out all of her anger and pain, Knowing she always loved to hear his words of advice after letting everything out first.

“You know what? This is what I get for rushing into this! Don’t even know if I love him but I couldn’t even keep my legs closed. Maybe I was the bad one eh? That’s why he ran off to the blondie from Chem! Yeah, that is definitely it” By now her tears has dried up on her cheeks and there weren’t any new ones threatening to fall. She was past getting mad, she’s just sad.”Things always end up like this you know? M’never good enough, bub.”

“That’s bull Y/N, and you know it. They don’t know the fuck they lost, givin’ up a gem like you. M’not saying this just because I’m your best friend but never have I met anyone as perfect as you, you know?” She couldn’t help but let a few tears escape “ One day, you’re gonna meet ‘em and he’s gonna be great, just like what you deserve and you’ll forget about someone as petty as Brad. Never doubt yourself, love. Who else is gonna cheer me up and keep me at my toes if you keep on bringing yourself down?”

She hugs him tighter, finding serenity between his arms. She can’t help but place a quick kiss on his cheek. “ You’ll always be my guy, right bub?”

For some reason, his heart skipped a beat.

“You know it, love”

That’s the day he realized he never wanted to see her crying again.

“We’re gonna rule the world, You and I.”

“Yeah is that right? How so?” They went out for a picnic in the nearby park. Harry was going over his manuscripts as Y/N’s head rested on his thighs while she was trying to understand the medical terms that are starting to look gibberish.

“We might be pullin’ our hairs out now but soon you’re gonna be the best and most handsome author of our generation, selling millions of copies and all that. Whereas I will be the most daring surgeon of our time! I’ll be able to save lives and check out cute interns too” She says as if she made the greatest discovery of their lives.

“You do know Grey’s Anatomy is just a show right? like you don’t actually always have sex with other doctors and have screaming matches in halls”

“Bugger off, will you? But I’m serious though. We haven’t done much but I’m already proud of us, proud of you. My little writer. Be sure to dedicate a book or two to me will you?”

“I’d dedicate all of ‘em to you if you like, that’s the least I could do for my great little surgeon.” She can’t help but laugh at his offer before it was replaced with a serious expression.

“You know I love you right? Harry, you may as well be the person I want to be the most proud of me”

“And I you”

That’s the moment he realized he loves her.

--Present--

He wanted to tell her he loved her. She was the light of his life in his moments of darkness. How can someone feel so right, feel as perfect as a puzzle piece, be in the arms of a man that is not him?

Then he’s stuck. Harry’s currently working on his third novel and for the nth time, he’s been spewing out great ideas but can’t seem to fit them together. Now 28, he can’t help but feel unaccomplished despite his success in his career. What was missing?

He was a risk-taker when it comes to developing his fictional characters and was daring enough to tackle multiple controversial issues in his novels but never seem to get the courage to tell her how he really felt.

Y/N.

His Y/N.

His Y/N with Dexter.

They’ve been together for a little more than a year now as Harry still remained a bachelor. By now he’s not quite sure if he was waiting for the right girl or waiting for her. and her only.

Something about today lit a fire inside of him. Maybe it’s because of the pent up frustration of having yet another writer’s block or the fact that he’s so sick of waiting for destiny to do its thing than actually making something happen. Next thing he knows, he was already dialing her number.

“Hey, bub! you caught me at a great time! What’s up?” I love you.

“Can we meet somewhere or something? Really need to talk to you ‘bout something”

“Really? I have something to tell you too! Why don’t we meet at the ol’ cafe down the street in twenty?” I love you.

“Sure sure, see you love.”

“Can’t wait!” I love you and I can’t wait to tell you I do.

---

He was already there by ten and it’s safe to say he was nervous. This is gonna be years and years of friendship at risk but he knows he won’t be able to sleep at night knowing he should’ve at least tried.

“You certainly got ‘ere early” There she was, wearing the dotted pink sundress he adored. She had her hair up and looked radiant as ever. He’s in it deep.

“Have some news for you, couldn’t wait” Cause if he did he might shit his pants, he thought.

“Good or bad? I have news too!”

“ Depends on how you’ll take it. If it’s okay can I go first?”

“Sure, go on bub.” Just the comfort he needed.

He took a deep breath, knowing what he was about to say could make or break him.

“We’ve been the best of friends all these years and I think I know why. It’s because we just get each other you know? and we always got each other’s back no matter what. Like the very first day we met, up to now, you never left my side and I never left yours. Everything did start because of a damn cupcake but that’s not the point.” She can’t help but laugh at his flustered state.

“But as we grew older, the more and more was I enthralled by you. By how you never forget to take care of me and how you never let anyone step on you. and as deep as my admiration goes, Y/N I fell for you” She stopped smiling. The shock was evident on her face. But he had to continue.

“ It took me a while to realize and even longer to tell you but I love you, I really do. I know it’s a shitty thing to do knowing that Dexter’s in the picture and all but I was there for everything. For your first heartbreak to your first ever patient. I was there at your best and worst. He’s a great guy, I know. It may even be too late but I can’t help but feel like we were meant to be, that you were meant for me.”

“So if you can find it in your heart, feel every beat of it and know that somehow for some unexplainable reason, what I am saying is making sense. Y/N choose me, love me. Be with me cause for as long as I remember, that’s all I really wanted” He could finally breathe. He said everything his coward of a heart couldn’t before.

“Harry I-” He didn’t like the sound of her voice, if this was rejection, he never wants to hear it. So he interrupted.

“Before you make a decision or anything, tell me your news first, love.” Sure, that will buy him some time.

Y/N does this thing when she’s nervous. Either she’d play with the ends of her braid or grips then releases her hold on the cup of her chosen beverage. That’s exactly what she’s doing to her cup of steaming hot tea.

And that’s when he saw it and his world stopped. He was suddenly holding his breath as the light caught on to something on her hand.

“Harry, I’m engaged.”

Author’s Note: This was an idea I’ve been playing around with. Tell me what you think! All the love xx.

p.s. that choose me love me scene may have been inspired by grey’s anatomy, don’t hate. xx

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #hs #harries #stylers #harry imagine #angst #sad #bestfriend #fluff #harry writing

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realsantana-blog · 5 years

Text

Confessional #1(3/16/2019): A Complete and Total Lack of Substance

Word Count: 1665(You been warned)

Also Starring: Paul, the poor crew member who drew the short straw of babysitting Santana

Notes: This shit 100% got away from me, guys. I’m sorry.

Short Description: Santana acts stupid in front of a camera for far too long and for very little reason.

Long Description: It was after 5 in the morning and Santana had spent the majority of the night drinking and entertaining the cameras that followed her as she roamed aimlessly around the hotel in San Francisco. Suddenly, she complained loudly that the cameramen were “bugging the sh-t out of her to do a confessional.”

They were not.

Nevertheless, the crew followed her to the vacant tour bus #2 and allowed her entry into the confessional room so she could get mic’d up. One hour and forty-eight minutes later, she passes out on the bus’s floor. The following series of clips showcase some of the things that were said during her first confessional of the tour.

A door is heard opening, followed quickly by a thunk of something falling on the floor. Santana’s voice, possessing a much stronger slur than normal, is the next recognizable sound, “Aw, f-ck. Hey Paul, I mighta broke something. You’re taking the fall for this one, right?”

A few moments later, Santana flops unceremoniously in the seat in front of the camera, cradling a bottle of clear liquid, the label having been blurred out. Almost immediately, she holds up a finger in a “wait” gesture, as if the camera was fixing to up and walk away at any moment. A second later, she belches and drops her hand down to her lap, wearing a look of simultaneous relief and annoyance, “That was sexy.”

The scene cuts to Santana pouring her “nondescript,” clear liquid out into a metal, isolated water bottle. Subtitles at the bottom of the screen as someone off-screen mumbles quietly, “What are you doing?”

“I’m making you’re jobs easier. If I drink outta this thing, ya don’t gotta blur the bottle out, in post,” Santana snarks, as if it was the most obvious thing. Her arms keep increasing the distance the bottles were from another, until she’s pouring the alcohol from a foot and a half above it’s destination.

“Okay,” the subtitles quip back, “But what if they use this clip for the episode?”

Santana pauses for several seconds, staring at the source of the voice, as if she had yet to consider this as a possibility, before settling herself with an irritated look, “Why would they use this? I’m not doing anything.” She follows this by going right back to pouring, then tossing the original bottle her over her shoulder as soon as she’s finished.

Another cut, and Santana, looking like she is finally “ready,” begins speaking to the camera, “I’d say the tour so far is going just f-cking swimmingly.” It’s not incredibly clear whether she says this with sarcasm. “Our new single Stay is rocketing up the charts, I gave birth to a cheesy boy band who’s lead singer appears to have been sneaking the other two members’ supply of hair gel, and I have at least a basic tolerance for pretty much everyone I was put on a bus with.”

She seems satisfied with this answer, until she scrunches her eyebrows, as if trying to remember something, before a sudden clarity washes over her, “Oh yeah, and I reunited with my sister. That’s fun!”

This time, her sarcasm is very apparent.

After a cut, Santana appears slightly more disheveled and finishes taking a drink from her “canteen.” She’s mumbling to herself, “work work work work work, yuh see me do me dur dur dur,” when she aggressively turns her attention to the camera. “That song has lyrics, by the way, IN-TER-NET,” she blurts in an offended tone, sounding out each syllable for emphasis. “I know that may be surprising to you well-cultured wastes of space, out there, that I am NOT just speaking gibberish in that song, but in fact am speaking in a Caribbean dialect. Ya know like Bob Marley do an’ sh-t.”

Having said her piece, she sits back in her seat with an eye-roll, looking casual once more.

“Whoever did the interior design for this room screwed your asses, by the way.”

“I feel like me and Emelia just have a very unique dynamic, as far as sisters go. It’s like... We’re two very different people, but like... Deep down. Like, very, very, deep down, we love each other.” Santana looks confident in her words, but has her business face on, as opposed to her standard states of amusement and/or annoyance.

“Very deep down,” she reiterates, with an assured nod.

About to take another drink, Santana grimaces and turns her opened bottle upside down, obviously expecting it to be empty, and lets a shot of clear liquid spill out to the floor. She stares blankly at the disposed contents for several moments, blinking as if in disbelief, “...Whoops.”

The Latina wears a bored expression, looking for something to say, when she once more pipes up, “Hey, you guys want the real scoop, though?” Her usual cat-like grin is in place as she speaks, “Max and Alex are totally f-ckin. Mhm. Watch ‘em closely. I assume Lia’s cool with it because if he hurts her I will ends him.” The last part is stilted, as if she realized what she was saying as she spoke.

“Paul, can you get me a drink? I’m dry as f-ck over here.” Santana is looking off-screen, wearing too sweet a smile for her face, until she snickers and aims a proud look at the camera, “Ha! In more ways than one, amirite?”

Her laughter dies down quickly, with her casting her gaze at the ground and sighing, “Ahh... That’s really depressing.”

“Really don’t get what’s going on with my sister. Like... I try getting her to have fun and I’m a bully. I leave her alone and I don’t care. I’m starting to think that it’s not anything I can do. It’s just me.” Since last bringing up her sister, her demeanor has changed. She’s swinging her arms around, as if trying to make sense of it all. As she continues venting, her voice steadily raises in volume. “Yeah... That’s it. Like, my very existence offends her! Like, the f-ck is up with dat sh-t?” She stops, as if she thinks she’s gonna get an answer of from the camera.

“Paul, go get me a drink!” Divine Destiny’s lead is now far more demanding as she makes her “request” to the man off to the side, out of range of the camera. “Paul! Paul, I know you hear me, you’re headphone lights are off. Get off your damn phone. Losing my buzz over here.” When she still gets no response, she leans back and crosses her arms, “You can’t have that many bitches texting you. You look like your forehead ate most of your hair. Do you WANT me to have to smoke weed on camera in order to continue this damn confessional you’re making me do.”

The subtitles make a triumphant return when Paul breaks his silence(again, off-screen), “I’m not getting you a drink.”

Santana slumps and groans.

“I mean, if either of us is being a bitch here, it’s CLEARLY Emelia, right? Like, I don’t wanna date her boyfriend. He’s too tall. Like, 6′8″ when you factor in the hair.” The air in the room now has a distinct thickness surrounding Santana, and her voice is the slightest bit huskier. “And I wasn’t ‘tainting’ her precious song. The song is about sex, so I was being sexy. I really don’t see how keeping in the spirit of the song’s theme is at all tainting it. It’s totally fine for her and Max to sing ‘Work’ without even having the foggiest idea what the words are, because I understand how to have fun and I had assumed that they meant it to be funny. But nope. If you ask my sister, they were ‘challenging’ me and by answering back, I was ‘challenging’ them harder.” Becoming increasingly incoherent and resorting to air quotes more and more as she speaks, Santana suddenly stops when she appears to lose her train of thought. “Whatever.”

Cutting to another clip, the seat that was once occupied is no longer, but it’s quickly filled again when Santana flings herself into it, carrying another glass bottle of some kind, raising it in victory, “Aha! You proud of me, Paul?” She cuts herself off to take a drink, her metal container apparently forgotten, “I got it myself because you’re too lazy to be useful.”

Her attention is diverted quickly, and she leans over in Paul’s direction, “Are those your chips, Paul? Paul, are those your chips? Paul. Paul. Paul. PAUL! I know you hear me, Fivehead! Paul! Feed me!” She slumps over the arm of the chair, groaning loudly, as if in physical pain, “PAUUULLLLL! I’m DYING!”

Clutching her now empty second bottle, Santana sobs violently, her make-up utterly ruined, “I just don’t understand why she hates me so much! I get that used to be a real bitch and I get that I made her feel like I didn’t care about her, but she just doesn’t get it! I know I made her think that she wasn’t good enough or that she was in my shadow, but when I normally do that with people, it’s because they really suck, and when I did that with Emmy, it was because I wanted her to be better! I just wanted her to grow a backbone and not let people like me walk all over her, anymore. Why can’t she see that I was a bitch to her because I love her! I made her feel horrible so that she would never wanna feel that way again!” With her rant over, she drops the offending bottle and covers her face, her voice softer but still muffled by tears, “And I really regret it. I’m so sorry, Emmy...”

Santana stands abruptly and storms toward the door as the camera fades out.

When the camera fades back in, Santana, once again in the hot seat, chewing loudly on something crunchy and staring intently at the camera. She lifts the yellow plastic bag in her hand and turns her head to peer inside. Even though the label has been blurred out, when she takes a potato chip from it and eats it, it becomes fairly easy to discern their brand, even with the packaging obscured.

Going back to glaring at the camera with an incredibly intense look, and a touch of dried mascara staining her cheeks, Santana swallows and asks very seriously, “You enjoying this, ‘Merica? Dis what you want?” She punctuates her interrogation with another bite of her snack.

“Y’all some sick f-ckers, ya know that,” she snarls. And with that, she leans back until the chair she’s sitting in tips over completely.

#cordellaconfessional #selfpara #para #//extra as all hell i know

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