#this show makes me ill though so it's okay I had to motivation to do that

[imminent-danger-came]

Hi there! So, I don't know if you’re in the mood to have your brain chemistry altered by the silly little lego show once more, or if you’ve just already done this, but I have a suggestion. Try watching the S4 special (specifically A Lifetime of Mistakes) for the millionth time, and then take that knowledge, along with the Wukong-Macaque/MK-Mei Hero and Warrior parallels we’ve been getting, and THEN go rewatch S1E6 AKA The Great Wall Race. Specifically through that particular lens.  

And just… enjoy watching the decisions they, especially MK, make during a situation where an immortality-granting object is on the line. Have no major thoughts about how this is the first real fight we see Mei and MK have. Experience absolutely zero strong emotions as you watch MK’s pursuit of that object lead to him destroying things that both of them love. Just… have a lovely, peaceful rewatch. 

But seriously, if you’re in the mood to let the silly little monkey show do its silly little monkey show thing, try rewatching that episode because it legitimately ruined my night. 

Like… it’s not a perfect, one-to-one comparison. There’s a lot of differences, both nuanced and obvious, that differentiate the two situations. 

But there’s something there and it’s been driving me insane, so feel free to come join me on the precipice of madness if you want.

*GRABS YOU*

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS. ANON, YOU GET ME IN A WAY THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES, WE ARE TOGETHER IN ARMS.

But anyways *puts on sunglasses* I always have zero emotions when it comes to the lego show. Me? Completely calm and collected. I totally didn't have a breakdown while rewatching 1x06 to write this post.

But, just to meander on by the precipice of madness...

Mei: "*gasp* My bike! What is wrong with you! I thought you were my friend!" MK: "Okay! I did bad! I just- I really wanted that peach and I guess I got carried away! You know how much I love stone fruit. *sigh* I was never gonna win though—you're the racer, not me. I'm sorry." Mei: "Yeah I know—just, don't be dumb next time, okay?" MK: "All I can do is try!"

(1x06 The Great Wall Race)

-

Even without the added context of s4, it's easy to put together that the whole reason MK wants the peach to begin with is to become more like Monkey King. Case in point, 1x09:

MK: "I just wanted to be good enough..."

"...like you."

(1x09 Macaque)

-

MK in seasons 1-2 is pushed by his motivation to live up to Monkey King's legacy—to become stronger. He wants to have the power to protect and help his friends, but this often causes more trouble than it fixes (1x01, 1x02, 1x06, 1x09, 2x03, 2x06, 2x10).

And so, MK reaching for immortality and wanting to be "good enough", instead harming the relationships he's trying to help?

Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!"

-

MK: "Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be!" Macaque: "Wukong didn't think so. He always felt he had to be stronger—more immortal."

-

Sun Wukong: "I just wanted to protect the people I cared about—to be strong enough. I lost sight of why I was doing any of it."

-

It's like history is repeating itself.

Which, this all obviously has a strong connection to 1x06, but it also is a strong connection to 2x06:

MK: "It means I need to be stronger! Be so powerful, that it'd be certain defeat to fight me!" Sandy: "Maybe you need a break little man, just kick back for a bit." MK: "Uh, did Monkey King ever take breaks?"

(2x06 Game On)

-

Which,

Sun Wukong: "Daw, don't be like that! Eat some fruit, soak up the sun—that's why I've been training so hard! Macaque: "What, so you can be the strongest?" Sun Wukong: "No! Well...maybe a little bit—but that's not the point! It's so that we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just live a lazy life sittin' in the sun and eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

Did Monkey King ever take breaks?—well, he did. It's here we start to see both the similarities and the differences between SWK and MK. AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE. They both reach after power in paranoia. They both try to protect the people they care about (and sometimes they do that through lying/leaving). They both want things to stay the same. Yet, SWK is arrogant where MK is self conscious. SWK goes off alone where MK tries to do it together. SWK can't plan for shit where MK is the designated plan man.

Sun Wukong VS MK and Monkey King VS Monkey Kid. How are they similar and how are they different?

And then if you throw Wukong-Macaque/MK-Mei Hero and Warrior parallels into all of it?

Peng: "The six-eared Macaque fighting side by side with his own replacements! Is there anything Wukong could do that would break his hold over you?" (4x13 Rip and Tear)

Is there anything MK could do that would turn Mei against him? I feel that it's SO telling that Mei wasn't included in this conversation:

Yellow Tusk: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail. But- but he is my brother. I owe him my life." Sandy: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends. But at the cost of the world?" Pigsy: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHING worth that price!"

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

And here's why Mei is going to be the one to calm MK down like MK calmed her down during 3x10—

#SURPRISE SAMADHI FIRE PART 3 THEORY. anyways #rewatching 1x06 was terrible but I've also missed watching my little lego guys have actual fun #Instead of you know. The pain that seasons 2-4 are #god this show is so funny #They write jokes around the characters rather than the characters around the jokes and #it makes lmk's humor SO refreshing #I laugh every time MK goes "See you at the finish line ohohohohohohoh!'' after PIF. That joke lands without fail #tumblr deleted my og post and I had to rewrite it! very sad for me #this show makes me ill though so it's okay I had to motivation to do that #lmk meta #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk SWK #lmk Sun Wukong #lmk Mei #asks #unhinged anon #samadhi fire part 3

[tonkatsubowl]

aventurine can't help but admire you from afar.

the way the wind flows with your hair, the way your eyes lit up when you smile, the way you just... ugh, everything! despite being bold, haughty and confident, the man was actually a bit nervous to talk to you—or confess, even.

why?

trust issues and trauma, of course.

"i suggest you try speaking with them. in reality, not everyone will constantly betray you or stab you behind your back. take a leap of faith, and test the waters, gambler."

dr. ratio says as the gambler slumps back against his seat, grumbling. aventurine's face was occupied by an open book, in which he definitely did not read.

"this is all too frustrating. really, i'm experienced with talking with women, bedding them—but it's rather annoying that i can't even talk to them." aventurine sighs with a sheepish smile, "perhaps this is a curse that was placed upon me. truly, a riveting way to die." he sarcastically says.

"you're not going to die," dr. ratio says, folding his arms across his chest, "you are merely confused with your actions at this point. i had already suggested you a few ideas, and i won't speak any further."

"oh, c'mon now, don't be like that~."

"you are being pesky, and stubborn. the door is behind you whenever you wish to leave."

the gambler sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "alright, alright. i will leave you to your... whatever you were doing earlier. i'm not opposed to your suggestion, but rather, i am... conflicted, as you say."

dr. ratio sighed again. he did say he wouldn't speak any further after that. but finally, aventurine left, leaving the man be.

days later, you were with the express team. as though aventurine had successfully guessed you'd temporarily depart ways with your crew, he approached you. you were visiting a cat café that time, and he first admired you through the windows of the building. you were happy, and it was a beautiful sight. you held a few cats, took a small nap with a few of them, and you began to play with them. that was when he finally approached you, letting the cats come to sniff him out.

"my, i didn't expect you to visit this kind of café," aventurine says, catching your attention.

like a cat, you perked up, gaze wandering towards the familiar voice before your eyes sparkled upon seeing him. "oh, 'ven!"

his heart skipped a beat, but he hid it. he had nearly forgotten that you gave him a nickname the moment you two first met. aventurine was too much of a hard word to say, you told him that one day, so you decided to give him a nickname.

"the one and only." he says, lowering his sunglasses. as he sat next to you on the floor, the cats came to snuggle up against him. one cat, in particular—a white one with a luxurious collar—came to sleep upon his lap. you cooed at the sight, lifting a kitten and setting it on your lap.

"what brings you here? i didn't expect you to be the type of person to visit a cat café, especially with how busy you are."

aventurine shook his head, "i just wanted to see you."

you blinked, tilting your head. "you wanted to see me?"

he nods, stroking the cat on his lap, giving you a faint smile. "... i was wondering. this request i am about to make isn't business related, or anything of the matter. i've no ill motives behind it—but would you like to... come join me for dinner sometime tonight? that is, if you allow it if you aren't busy. or your... friends allow it." he knows how protective the express team can be of you.

you paused for a moment, blinking. "... like... like a date?"

he nods again, "a date."

"oh! then sure!" you smiled brightly, and your answer was instantaneous too. "i'll just let the others know i'll be busy tonight. where are we going?"

"ah, nothing too fancy (a lie). i just wish to show you my favorite spots here in penacony."

"okay! well, i'll try to dress up nicely, then."

"no need," aventurine shakes his head, "i've already set up a whole schedule for us. let's look at various of clothing later, and see which one you like most."

you blinked. you didn't have that much credits to spend, honestly... "ah... but my budget—"

"who said you were paying?" he flashed a smile. "my dear, i will be the one spoiling you tonight."

"... oh. but wait, that's so much money! please, you don't have to do all of that for me..."

"ah, don't worry! i have all the credits in the world."

"... o-okay."

the night of the date, you were a tad nervous. you didn't know what to wear, and luckily enough, march was kind enough to dress you up a bit.

waiting at the designated location of the date, aventurine shows up wearing his sunglasses as usual. he smiles, taking your hand into his, before gracefully leaving a kiss atop of the back of your palm. you lightly flush, before following the gambler towards wherever he wanted to go...

... and the first stop was the expensive clothing store! it consisted of luxurious of dresses, suits, tuxedos and what not. throughout your time there, the man was practically dolling you up. letting you try on different sets of clothes, getting one custom made on the dot, and even trying to have you match with him.

you finally found the right set, and it was ungodly expensive... but aventurine paid it off like it was nothing, and waited for you to come out with the dress, or whatever you had on. and once you left the dressing room, aventurine's heart melted a bit. his eyes softened, but the color of his shades had hid his admiration for your beauty. he clears his throat, snapping himself back to reality (dreamscape) before rising.

"you look stunning, (y/n)." he says, taking your hand once more, "i adore seeing that on you. perhaps you should wear it more frequently, it suits you like no other."

you felt butterflies roam in your stomach as you look at yourself in the mirror. "you... think so?"

he shakes his head, "i know so."

the second stop was a fancy restaurant. it was built into a casino, so from there, he introduced expensive, five star meals to you and showed you how to play a few games. he won you a cute little plush of (insert favorite animal) through a game vendor, and proceeded to bring you around. he was showing you off like a trophy, too, bringing his arm around your waist to show the world you were rightfully his.

at least, not yet.

the third and final spot was a scenery.

it took a while for the both of you to get there, but the hike was worth it. once you got to the top, you saw the outstanding view of penacony, and you took a moment to admire the horizon.

the night sky, how the stars sprinkled and welcomed you into their sights, and how... aventurine looked stunning underneath the night sky.

you admired him for a moment. he was truly a beautiful man, and instead of admiring the stars, you were admiring your future lover. you felt your heart melt as you sat, staring at him so lovingly.

"hmm? is there something on my face?" asked-he, his smile widening as though to tease you.

you decided to get a little bold, "beauty."

he chuckled to himself, his heart racing. his pride won't admit that he literally felt the world around him explode as you said that. there was just something about you that was just so... perfect.

and yet, all in all, the man was still terrified of you. given his trust issues and everything, he wasn't sure of you - but he knew that he was happy being around you.

all it took was time.

"i can say the same for you," he says in a soft voice, coming closer to you, "did you enjoy tonight?"

you smile, brushing his golden locks away from his visage, "i did. when will we have a second date?"

you paused.

"w-wait, i mean... that's too far, right? i mean, don't get me wrong, i-i'd love to have a second date with you, but that is if... you're okay with it!"

he blinked, before smiling, a chuckle leaving his lips as he returned the favor for you. brushing your hair away from your face.

"... i wouldn't mind. let's have another one again soon."

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail aventurine

[atinyniki]

just kiss me already!

group: stray kids !

pairing: nonidol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive at the end

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, fighting (verbal), 3racha chan (songs unreleased), friends with current skz members, suggestive

authors note: this shit actually sucks but i tried even tho i had no motivation. ill make another chan fic soon to compensate. this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2858

“oh my gosh you bitch”

“hey! don’t call me a bitch just because you suck at the game”

you haven’t one a single game against chan since he came over. 

“i don’t wanna play anymore”, you say with a pout.

“awh come onnn don’t be a sore loser”, he smirks. 

it’s not that you don’t wanna play because you’re losing, you just don’t want to play because you both have been at it for four hours.

“let’s watch a show instead!”

“fine, but i’m choosing.”

it’s pretty easy to get chan to do what you want. you’re his weakness, he’ll do anything to make you happy to be honest. you never seem to notice the way he looks at you, or how much he tries to get your attention. 

on the other hand, you absolutely adore chan. not just the way he looked, even though he is incredibly beautiful, but you admire how caring he is. at first it was just minor attraction, but then you got closer and well… you know.

neither of you realize you’ve loved each other for so long.

“chan? can you come over please? it’s important”

“yeah of course i’m on my way”

within the next two minutes he was in front of your door. “what’s wrong? are you okay?”

you laugh a little when you see the look on his face. “chan i’m fine, i just need help.”

“so you made me run all the way here for nothing?

you drag him to the kitchen and close the door behind you, rolling your eyes. “i never asked you to run here dumbass. you literally live next door”

chan walks into the kitchen and freezes when he sees the state of it. bowls everywhere, flour and batter scattered all over the countertop, and an assortment of cookie cutters placed next to the stan mixer.

“listen, i really need to make two hundred cookies within the next two hours. my oven can’t hold more than twenty four at a time. could you maybe bake like half of them in your oven?”

“why would you need two hundred cookies…?”, he asks incredulously.

“it’s my friends birthday tomorrow. she loves these cookies”

“oh jeez… okay fine. how long do i need to bake them for?”

“twenty six minutes…”

“yes ma’am, ill be on my way then”. he quickly grabs the trays of cookies and gives you a peck on your forehead, lips lingering for a second too long, and runs back to his house. 

you could still feel his lips on you, but you continued swapping out trays in hopes to distract yourself. 

chan didn’t burn a single cookie. your friend loved them.

“hyung come on! don’t be a wuss”, jisung pouts.

“no jisung. not happening”

“hey well you’re the one that chose dareeee”, 

“fine i’ll just take a shot.”

the entire circle broke out into disappointed groans, but you decided to move on from chan. 

“y/n! truth or dare”

you jerk your head towards lily, “what? who said it’s my turn?!”

“me. now answer”, lily says a matter-of-fact-ly 

“fine. dare”

“you. chan. seven minutes in heaven. right now.”

you look over to chan, silently asking for permission with your eyes despite how nervous you look. you know you don’t have to do anything but… what if he wants to? no. he would never. he doesn’t like you like that.

both of you get up and walk into the room, and changbin quickly turns the lights off and leaves.

“do the lights really have to be off?”

chan walks over to the light switch, hands fumbling to find the knob. he slowly turns it so that the lights are dimmed, but enough so that you both can still see.

chan walks over to the bed, patting the part of the bed next to him and inviting you to sit down. you silently walk towards the bed and sit down, instantly covering yourself with the blanket.

“it’s freezing in here… how does seungmin survive in a room like this?”

“hm… no wonder his personality is always so cold.”

you both laugh a little at chans comment. seungmin has a thing for tormenting chan. subconsciously, you cuddle up to chan, still shivering a bit from the cold.

he seems to get the memo, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. moments of silence pass, and it’s been far too long without a sound for it to not be awkward.

suddenly, chan feels a weight on his shoulder and turns to look at it. you’re sound asleep, he accounts it to either your tipsiness or your exhaustion from working all day. 

he holds your hand for a bit, the warmth of it passing through your whole body and causing you to let out a satisfied hum in your sleep. he grabs his phone to text changbin. 

“y/n fell asleep. we’ll be in here for a while if that’s okay. you can continue without us”

“yeah yeah whatever just say you want to make out with her in peace”

“shut up changbin.“

the next morning, you wake up in chans bed. your head starts ringing and you think about what happened the night before. you’re slowly starting to become aware of your surroundings, and the snoring coming from beside you. 

“chan. chan wake up”

“mmmhh”

“chan what happened last night”

“hm?”, he says as he finally peaks his head out of the covers.

his senses slowly come back to him, and his face instantly flushes red, the crimson color kissing his collarbone too. you’re dressed in his shirt that’s far too large for you, with a pair of his shorts on. the shirt reaches all the way down to your mid-thigh, even while sitting down.

you look at him, waiting for him to answer. “chan are you okay?”

“hm? oh yeah sorry. nothing happened don’t worry, you were just tired so i brought you home, but you insisted to stay with me”

your face flushes red, and you realize what you’re wearing. you look down, playing with the hem of the t-shirt you’re wearing. “sorry about the clothes by the way, you just looked really cold so i offered them to you”

oh. so he didn’t dress you. thank god. you don’t think you could have faced him if he did. “thank you channie.”

he smiles at you, ears going slightly red at the tips. he doesn’t want to admit what that nickname does to him, especially in your voice. you quickly get out of bed, telling chan you’ll be back soon. you go to your house to get ready for the day.

no matter how much you douse your face in cold water, the red tint doesn’t seem to fade. 

“wow chan this is amazing!”

his face goes red as he chuckles, “thank you y/n”

changbin doesn’t fail to notice how shy chan gets around you, but he decides not to talk about it while you’re here. instead, he snickers with jisung in the corner. 

“shut up you two. i know what you’re on about”

the both of them instantly sit up straight, going silent. 

you continue listening to the rest of the tracks, loving every second of it. you give hums and nods of approval, watching the boys’ faces light up every time.

not too long after, the boys left, leaving just you and chan in his studio. you’re humming along to one of the songs he showed you earlier. he couldn’t help but smile, hoping you wouldn’t notice that it made him just a little bit too happy.

you and chan are sitting on your bed again, watching the new kdrama that just came out. your heart jumped in your chest as you watched the scene intently, the heat of it making your face flush red. 

“damn when is someone gonna kiss me with that much passion”, chan jokes. you couldn’t help but laugh. you two have gotten a lot closer recently, and you’ve found out that chan is really into skinship.

he has you cuddled up with him under the blankets right now, your small arms wrapped around his bicep. you look up at him, just to admire him a little as he focuses on the show. what you didn’t expect though, was for him to turn his face only mere seconds later.

only then do you process just how close you are, how your lips are just inches away from eachother. chan seems to notice this too, his hands fidgeting with his drawstrings. he gives you a small smile, and turns his head back to the movie.

you’re probably being delusional, but you swear something had changed in the way he looked at you. 

“y/n please, do something. he isn’t listening to us…”

“i’ll be there soon.”

you quickly rush over to chans house, knocking on the door to his studio.

“changbin i said leave me alone.”, chans voice was harsh. youve never heard him sound so aggressive towards anyone, he was normally really sweet. you motion to jisung and changbin to leave the room. 

“i got this, it’s okay”, you whisper to them.

“chan it’s me. please open the door”

the door flies open within seconds, and you take in chans state. his hair is a mess, two dark purple splotches under his eyes. there are energy drinks scattered all over his desk, broken pencils and scattered papers.

“what… happened?

chan began to speak, but you cut him off.

“we’re going to bed. tell me what happened there”

“n-no! let me save my work at least.”

you walk in the studio with him, waiting on the couch as he quickly saved his progress. you both walk out the room, entering his bedroom and settling under the sheets. 

“go to sleep, ill be here when you wake up.”

you try your best to stay up, but you just couldn’t let yourself. sleep takes over your body, eyes becoming heavy and finally fluttering shut for the night.

you wake the next morning to an unfamiliar warmth. chan has his arms around you, his head buried in your chest. you thought he looked adorable like this, until he looked up at you when he realized you woke up. 

his bloodshot eyes stared back up at you, and you began to process the teardrops staining your hoodie. 

you don’t say anything more. you just pull him closer, rubbing small circles along his back. “i know you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, but you need to let all this out somehow. if you need someone please call me. you know im always right here”

chan doesn’t respond, he didn’t trust his voice enough. his body trembled in your hold, nuzzling his nose into the comforting warmth of your chest.

once he’s calmed down a little, he looks up at you again. you stare at eachother for a good while, just like you did when you watched that movie. there was something different swirling in his eyes, but you just couldn’t place it.

instead of worrying about that, you quickly placed a peck on his forehead, feeling him relax in your hold. he falls back asleep not too long after. he must have been tired.

“WOOOO!!”

you hadn’t felt so alive in months. you knew it was incredibly childish, but you missed having someone to push you on the swings. chans arms pushed you so high you felt like you could touch the stars.

the moon shines so beautifully, covering the park in a light glow. you looked ethereal, that’s what chan thought at least. your bright smile lit up his whole world, your giggle making his heart flutter. the moonlight hit your face just right, your eyes shimmering in the darkness.

chan gradually slowed your swing down, not wanting you to thrash around. 

“done already?”, you say with a pout.

“it’s almost one in the morning, we have to go now”, he pouts back.

you both start walking back from the park, talking about chans plans for the future with 3racha. he seems so passionate about music, his eyes lighting up every time he mentioned changbin and jisung.

you look up at him, smiling a little as how cute he sounded talking about this. he looks down at you, the same unplaceable emotion in his eyes, but you stay there for a little longer.

he smiles at you. you instinctively smile back. his smile puts his adorable dimples on display, and you bring one of your fingers up to poke them. you both break out into a fit of giggles, beginning to walk home again.

time without chan began to feel like time you’ve wasted.

“i’m not leaving”

“chan please. you need to rest”

“jeez y/n, when did you start being so clingy? the only thing i need right now is to finish this. either stay here and shut up or get the hell out. i can’t have you nagging me, this is really important”

in the three years you’ve known chan, you have never once heard him speak like this. not to you, not to anyone. you held your tears in, making sure to hide them from chan before they fell, and darted out the door. 

you quickly made your way to your house, stupidly forgetting to lock your door in your upset state. you want to yell at him. not to be mean, but just to get it in his damn head that you care about him. you wish he’d just understand.

you clutch your sweatshirt in your hands, the pain in your chest was beginning to get unbearable. you quickly go inside your room and lock the door, flopping onto your bed as sobs rack your body.

not too long after, you hear knocking on your door. 

“y/n?”, you hear chan call out for you.

you make your way to the bedroom door, sliding down onto the floor. you don’t think you’re ready to face him yet. “what do you want”

chan was taken aback by the sharp tone in your voice. he knew it was coming, he just didn’t expect it to hurt so bad. 

“i’m sorry. i know you only meant good and wanted me to be okay but… i just have so much left to do. i’m overwhelmed and scared im not going to be able to get everything done on time and i lashed out at you. i know that’s no excuse to hurt someone you love but i really didn’t mean it. i’m so-“

“chan you’re rambling again”, you pout.

“oh i’m sorry…”

you quickly open the door, helping chan off of the floor. you quickly bring him to your bed and force him to lay down. “sleep. please”

he could tell you’ve almost lost your patience, so he huddles up closer to you and lets sleep overtake his body. “goodnight y/n. thank you”

today, you wake up to a different sight than usual. normally, chans face is buried in your chest or he’s hugging you from behind. this time was different. he was mere centimeters away from you, nose brushing against yours. 

you quickly shut your eyes, hoping you didn’t go red at just the sight of him.

not too long after, chan wakes and gets ready for the day, coming back into your home to see you already awake. 

you were dressed in a large grey t-shirt. you don’t quite remember where it came from, but it’s incredibly comfortable. 

chan recognizes it instantly. it’s the shirt he gave you the first night you slept over at his house. his heart swelled at the sight, wishing he could see you in his clothes everyday. 

without a second thought, he quickly runs towards you, sitting on the bed right next to you again. he’s looking at you the same way he has been for the past couple months.

this time around though, he does something different. his hand makes his way up to cup your cheek, his big hands swallowing some of your jawline too. 

he slowly moves his face closer to you, now only inches away from your lips. your heart rate quickens, feeling his breath fan over your lips.

“chan, just kiss me already. please.”

he tentatively moves closer, not getting a chance to process before you crash your lips into his. it’s a kiss of pure want and need. “fuck y/n. i’ve been waiting to do this for so long”

“i love you channie”, you whispered breathlessly.

a flip switched inside of him, immediately pushing you down onto your back while he hovered over you. he kisses at your jawline, red marks appearing all over your neck. “i love you so much baby”, he says in between kisses.

you couldn’t hold back your whimpers, the feeling was too much for you to handle. all of a sudden, you heard a loud ringing.

chan picked up his phone, sounding a little aggravated. “hello?”

“chan where are you?”, jisung asked him

“i’m with y/n. we’re watching a movie. why?”

“oh sorry my bad. have-“

he hung up before jisung could finish, eager to get back to you.

“now, where were we?”

<3

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids angst #skz fanfic #skz bang chan #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan x y/n #stray kids x y/n

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

People are so jealous of you it’s insane! ❤️ You don’t have to post this if you don’t want to stir the pot, just wanted you to know that to me, an objective third party observer, all this drama clearly stems from how jealous other people on here are of your ability to write beautifully and in-character. They WISH they had your talent and insights. The reason you get asks and people interacting with you is because you’re interesting, funny, smart, witty, kind and all over wonderful. They envy you! I know it’s easier said than done but please don’t let them get to you! If they have a pathetic group chat talking shit about you, let them! The only thing it shows is how jealous they are.

Hoping you read this and feel the love I am channeling here through this anonymous ask. YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU CREATE! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU EXACTLY AS YOU ARE! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I really appreciate the kind words and the sentiment behind this, and I love you for it! I am a big believer in complimenting people without it being at the expense of others though, so I will never put another person down in order to raise another up. For a long while I did think it related to people’s perception of me being what they considered a “big blog” and the negative connotations they associate with that. However, having some time away has given me a new perspective on things.

I am back by the way, hello! Using your ask to springboard off of that and speak my mind a little. Hope you’re okay with that!

The time away has been nice, but I’ve realised without the immersion of fandom, I really struggle to write, as being surrounded by others all being creative fuels my own motivation.

I have yeeted all asks that name usernames or allude heavily to the drama. I am drawing a line in the sand and moving on.

I think a lot of these issues stem from people’s inability to just make peace with the fact that they are not going to get along with everyone. Sometimes you just find people annoying and you need to block them, so that you aren’t subjected to their presence. There is nothing wrong with that. You do not need to play morality police and twist people’s words and actions to make them out to be a bad person to justify your dislike or ensuing block.

The people ragging on me publicly aren’t bad people, they just dislike me. I hope they find their peace with the block button and move on.

If you block someone, don’t go out of your way to visit their page to find things to be upset and angry about - that is emotional self harm. Move on and engage with the things you do enjoy.

I hope this is the last I ever have to speak of this. If you see people speaking ill of me, ignore it, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I want to leave all of the negativity in the rear view and just focus on the aspects of fandom I do enjoy.

I’ll get to all asks, etc. throughout the day - will most likely queue stuff, so I’m not spamming up the dash.

#asked and answered

[jasbaklonbri]

My issues with the Avatar Live action show. (Spoilers)

before I get on with this… rant I guess, I want to stress that I do not “Hate” this adaptation, I actually think it’s pretty…. decent. Mixed in terms of being an adaptation but as its own thing i do think it actually is good. If a newcomer gets introduced to the franchise through this show, I’d mostly be okay with that (though would still stress to watch the original, especially hinting about the rest of the story if they’re really invested) before I go into my biggest problems I should quickly list its positives.

The characters, for the most part, are done well, they meet the core criteria of what made the original characters so beloved. The acting, for the most part, is good, overall the cast does a really good job at their respective roles. Costumes are amazing, sets, while not exactly 1:1, are still overall awesome. soundtrack is really REALLY good, stellar work all round. The action is not only great, it’s BRUTAL AS FUCK, it does not shy away from the themes of war and death and I love that 😈 some of the expanded editions to the lore are really interesting, big shoutout especially to the inclusion that zuko’s crew is also the battalion he defends in the war room, that was actually brilliant 👌 on top of that, references and inclusions of stuff from expanded material I mostly really liked, from the comics, to legend of Korra to even the kyoshi novels. As for the writing and story…. I can accept no adaptation is perfect and there will be changes, I think it follows the moments of the show decently and that the writing is… adequate. overall rating for me is a decent… 6/10… almost was a 7 but… no.

okay now for the stuff that sucked!

The Characters that weren’t good:

Aang is not bad in this, character wise and acting is overall good, Gordon Cormier does a good job, he looks and sounds the part. My issues are how the character is written. Ill get into more about his biggest issues later on as it mostly has to do with writing and a few particular scenes, but for now I’ll harp on how repetitive and annoying his dialogue can be sometimes, way too many times has the character had the same “guilt scene” which hits the exact same beats: he sees devastation, he says “this is my fault”, he’s reassured it’s not. Again and again.

sokka is awful in this. And to be honest it’s not really the writings fault, Ian Ousleys portrayal does not do it for me, his line delivery is too monotone-ish, his emotional delivery is lacking, he has the same blank facial expression throughout the show. He has a decent one liner here and there, but the comedy and character is MILES away from the over expressive, hilarious and badass original.

zukos actor is decent just enough, and honestly it’s a little unfair to compare Dallas Liu to Dante Bascos performance, but admittedly I felt he was comparatively more underwhelming at times. Though if anything I was more annoyed at the look of his Scar. Don’t get me wrong, its leagues more noticeable than it was in the god awful movie adaptation… but it’s still not great. Remember how grotesque his scar is in the animated show, even at a distance, his skin is shrivelled, he can hardly open his eye, even his ear is half burnt off, they could of gone all out in showcasing his disfigurement, the greatest source of his self shame and most brutal showcase of his fathers cruelty and abuse… but no it’s just a dark red patch around his eye, it’s not even ugly to look at. Disappointing.

Bumi, while acted and portrayed really well by Utkarsh Ambudkar, is written very badly. His motivations have completely changed from the original, and no it is no where near as good, unlike in the show were he “toys” with Aang to teach him lessons about the journey ahead of him, offering wisdom and compassion to his old friend, keeping his identity a secret allowing Aang to realise who he is, making an emotional reunion when he realises another piece of his lost past is still alive: here Aang finds out immediately it’s him, and Bumi instead is pissed and petty that Aang left to the point HE TRIES TO KILL HIM, completely disregarding the point of the message and character from the original show. Oh and not to mention the ending scene with him, but again I’ll get to that scene later.

finally, biggest problem I’ll harp on the characters themselves is the diminishing, lack of focus and editing of the three protagonists flaws. Aangs childish immaturity, kataras inexperience, Sokkas rudeness and distrust. There are reasons why the show took these out or didn’t focus on them, but in my opinion this was a huge mistake to do. Character flaws are integral to character growth, throughout the original show we see the characters learn and grow with and out of said flaws to become more rounded and stronger characters, Aangs journey to embrace his destiny and responsibilities, Kataras growing wisdom and strength, Sokka accepting his wrongdoings becoming more open minded and accepting. Diminishing these ultimately take away a lot from these characters and it does them and the fans a huge disservice to outright ignore them at times.

Aang and Kataras bond is there… but it’s Seriously lacking!

I’m a Kataang shipper. Before I go into detail with this I think it’s important to point out a certain bias I might have with this, but regardless of any opinions about the original shows romantic themes, I’d still argue that Aang and Kataras relationship is one of the core and integral bonds of the original show (the others being Katara and Sokka, Zuko and Iroh, Aang and Zuko and Zuko and Azula (book 2 onwards) so getting this right is in my opinion important to any adaptation. Overall their relationship is fine in this iteration, but MAN it’s just not as good.

Imagine my utmost disappointment When in this version: Katara is not the first person Aang sees when he wakes up! Now I know that seems like a petty thing to harp on but really think back to the original show, how beautifully written their friendship was, how they constantly support and empathise with each other, how Aang is a source of Kataras hope, how Katara is an emotional rock for Aang when coming to terms with his loss and grief. All of it starts with the foundation of their first meeting in that first episode. After a hundred years of sleep, Katara accidentally discovers Aang (with Sokka) and rushes to save him, the first person Aang sees as he opens his eyes is her, he immediately, and essentially asks her out. Katara introduces him to her village, she’s enamoured by his playful attitude and abilities, there are hints of a blooming crush between them (mostly from Aang) they promise to explore the world together, they go penguin sledding, until finally, when Katara realises and breaks the truth about Aangs 100 year absence and slow realisation that everything and everyone he knew is likely gone, Katara tries to reassure him mentioning there may be a bright side: Aang responds with “I did get to meet you”. all of that build up and setup of the friendship (and budding romance) of our two leads is masterfully established in one, 23 minute long episode. Really think about that. It takes the original show 1 episode to set the core points of the two lead’s relationship in what takes this show AN ENTIRE SERIES TO PROPERLY ESTABLISH! Not only is all of that practically absent in this iteration, but plenty of scenes and moments are either missing or lessened, Such as when Katara calms Aang out of the Avatar state, or how they begin to train and learn their waterbending together (more on THAT later), cave of two lovers is now given to Katara and Sokka?? (really missed the point of that episode) or how about the mutual understanding of each others grief through their own grief, oh yeah that’s another thing, in this version Katara, nor Sokka for that matter, ever mention to Aang that their mother is dead?! Not once. I don’t even think he ever knows, or maybe he finds out off screen? Big thing to not mention guys??

Now there are plenty of scenes in the show that do help build up their friendship here, but by missing core scenes, especially those from the first episodes, it just makes it harder for the show to establish that bond towards an audience, and again just pales in comparison.

No statue room???

I’ll be a little more brief here, but the fact that this moment is completely missing infuriates me. You have the quintessential moment where Aang is in full view of the scope of his legacy, a monument to hundreds of all the past avatars, a moment for our characters and the audience to visually realise the weight and burden that Aang Carries upon his shoulders… and you completely take it out??? What the actual FUCK???

Kyoshis premonition almost ruins the show! as awesome and badass as Avatar Kyoshi was in this version, this one tidbit is by far not just a weird addition, it’s arguably one of the biggest fundamental flaws of the show, not as an adaptation, but the show in of it self. The idea apparently (according to behind the scenes comments) is that kyoshis premonition to Aang of the northern watertribes destruction is to give him more of an assentive to head “straight to the point”, removing the unnecessary detours and filler of the original. The problem with that is even for that reason, this addition is completely pointless, because Aang already has enough assentive to head to the north: LEARN WATERBENDING!!!

In the original show after Katara and Sokka save Aang from zukos ship in the 2nd episode, they establish that they must find Aang a water bending master so he can begin his first step in becoming the avatar, in fact rewatching the first few episodes, AANG MAKES THE SUGGESTION FIRST TO KATARA SO SHE CAN MASTER HER WATERBENDING! Even the god awful movie understood that that was enough reason to head north! And if you really want more reason and imperative for them to get there as soon as, why not just reiterate that there is a WAR GOING ON! The attack on the south, the genocide of the air nomads, accidentally bringing an invasion to Kyoshi island, these are all good enough reminders for the Gaang to showcase the need for Aang to head to the known one place in the world where Aang can possibly master an art integral to achieving his destiny. But even worse than that, this addition seriously hurts the show going foward, because now, after Aang has been shown the impending doom destined for the north, he STILL detours from it, not once but twice! (And according to one gossiping bartender, possibly a few more times!!) in an attempt to try to showcase his nobility and compassion to always help those in need, every time he decides to stop to help a new problem, HE IS LITERALLY RISKING THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ENTIRE CIVILISATION!!! Priorities dude!!! It’s not like he’s given a time frame, for all he knows this premonition could happen at anytime, it could be already happening??? It is by far one of the biggest, if not THE BIGGEST flaw of the show.

Muddying the rules of the spirits and spirit realm

Aside from kyoshis future sight, too many instances does this show, in an attempt to expand ideas of worlds spirituality, often just make things more confusing. Another example is when Aang accidentally drags Katara and Sokka into the spirit world, which even with the reasoning they give it makes no sense whatsoever and it only serves an excuse to combine moments from other episodes into one. Or how about when wan shi tong… for some reason… explains that spirits can only talk to the avatar and only they can communicate with and talk to spirits… except that rule is completely ignored when Katara and Sokka can clearly hear what koh is saying? ooops???

Hai Bai has no agency or resolution in his inclusion here, he’s not even the central threat despite HIS forest being burnt. Instead of going on a full rampage against humanity for their destruction, he’s now just really angry about being wounded? Instead of hai bai kidnapping people, it’s now Koh, who while still really creepy in this version, his abilities are now greatly diminished. Instead of his lightning quick speed to remove the faces of anyone who show any ounce of emotion in his presence, here he can only prey on negative emotions, and is never shown to be especially fast (except the two jump scares). again it just pales in comparison to the intensity of the original scene.

Kuruk should know why his advice is horseshit!

while I like the inclusion of some details of the lore outside the original show, using it during Aangs scene with Kuruk significantly hurts his first scene, because now we have the writers completely miss the point and lessons of Kuruks life. Kuruks advice to “walk the path alone” to “distance himself from his friends” is not just obviously poor advice on its own, but considering that the past avatars are aware of events after their death, it especially doesn’t make sense coming from Kuruk! Avatar Kuruk HAD friends! the kyoshi novels go into detail about his closest companions as well as his secret deeds of hunting dark spirits. Yes Kuruk did it in secret and inadvertently and purposely distanced himself from the people he loved so that he could in his mind protect them, and that’s excusable because Avatars never have hindsight about some of the consequences of their actions, in fact past avatars often use their mistakes and their consequences as advice and warnings to the current avatar. KURUK SHOULD BE ADVISING THE EXACT OPPOSITE!!!

One of the major consequences of pushing his friends and keeping secrets was that when he eventually died mysteriously at a young age, his companions felt they had failed in their mission to serve and protect their friend, pushing one of them, Jianzhu, to fall into a path of political meddling and corruption, and being consumed with keeping his power and influence through back handed tactics like kidnapping, torture, intimidation and murder, eventually becoming Kyoshi’s earliest nemesis and one of her greatest enemies (highly recommend reading the Kyoshi novels 😍) Not to mention that Kuruks “advice” leads to an incredibly forced scene and trope where our hero attempts to push Katara away and “nobly distances himself to protect his friend”, only for the advice to be immediately ignored a few minutes later, making it entirely pointless.

AANG NEVER LEARNS WATERBENDING???

yes, through the entirety of BOOK 1 WATER, Aang never learns waterbending! Katara offers to show him some techniques she knows in one scene, but for some reason he’s hesitant to take her offer, which would have been interesting to explore, except they never really address it?? Worse even when they finally reach Pakku in the north, all that happens is that he’s kind of scolded for not starting his training, but not once is it seen or mentioned by pakku that he’ll teach him ANYTHING. If there’s enough time to have Katara shown water healing lessons as well as arguing and fighting Pakku to teach her combative techniques, WHY THEN DOES EVERYONE IGNORE TRAINING THE GOD DAMN AVATAR!!! The fate of the world rests on Aang learning the 4 elements, but for some reason they completely leave it out?

Now Katara is mentioned to teach him in the future like in the original, but the problem now in this version is that while Katara is gifted and talented, unlike the original show she’s never formally trained (outside of healing lessons) by Pakku or a master to warrant her to become Aangs official waterbending teacher. They are literally leaving the training of the most important person of their time to an AMATEUR!!!

a baffling diversion?!?!

Finally my last big problem with the show is the handling of the ending scene. Take in mind that the fire nation sends an entire fleet, no, hundreds upon hundreds of ships to invade, subjugate and snuff out an entire civilisation, and to take out the avatar, once and for all. Also consider the sheer loss of life and devastation that was unleashed by the ocean spirit upon them when zhao murdered the moon spirit, they got hit back hard and then some, honestly it was spectacular to watch! The problem, according to Ozai: “it was all according to plan”…..

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK?!?!?!

apparently it’s revealed that the North Pole wasn’t the “real target”, but instead a “clever ploy” to instead… invade Omashu?? First of all, who are you creating a diversion for??? We don’t see earth kingdom soldiers coming to assist the fight in Agna Q’ela? It’s not like we ever see waterbenders helping to defend Omashu when we were there earlier, it’s not like anyone outside the protagonists was aware of Aangs premonition (oh by the way why didn’t Kyoshi warn Aang it was a “diversion”??) WHO ARE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT???

and again, just to reiterate, you are saying you sacrificed an ENTIRE INVASION FORCE, big enough to destroy a whole society, which led to a huge loss of life and ships which YOU CLAIM was “to be expected”…. In order for you to take one city???? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING JOKING??? That’s not just bad writing, that is beyond STUPID!!! Oh and just to add, unlike in the show where Bumi willingly surrenders to avoid the destruction of Omashu, instead opting to wait for the right opportunity to free it later, saving his people doing so, here we see him bruised and bloodied after a siege! Yeah, one of the most powerful earth-benders in the world is taken out offscreen!!! CHRIST ALL BLOODY MIGHTY!!!

okay… rant over… 😮‍💨😮‍💨

#avatar the last airbender #aang #atla remake #kataang #avatar

[papadoupoulous-lester]

Loneliest person on earth// p1

loneliest person on earth// leo valdez x gn!apollo!reader

summary: when leo's s/o acts distant and doesn't come out of their cabin for meals, he starts to worry.

tw: self deprecating thoughts, suicide, trauma, mental illness

notes: its my first time writing a x reader oneshot so have mercy

(readers pov)

hot tears streamed down my face nonstop as I buried my face in my pillow. I didn't know why I was crying, it was stupid really. One little comment. That's all it took for me to crack. One silly little joke about my appearance caused me to have a full-blown meltdown. all my emotions had been pent up inside me for so long that I just cracked. I hated how sensitive I was. I was ashamed, really. how could a child of Apollo, a deity looked up to and worshipped because of his great beauty be so repulsive? I hate myself. The way I act, the way I look, the way I sound, the way I smile, the way I laugh, the way I walk, the way that I knew I'd never be able to fit in anywhere. In the mortal world, monsters would chase me if I dared come close to technology. In the demigod world, no matter what camp, I'd be thought of as a tool, a piece of equipment. Like a piece of Leo's machinery, not yet perfected. I was a senior camper, head of the Apollo cabin. I had been at camp since I was ten, I was now 16. People look up to Annabeth, as she's been at camp for the longest, being Chiron's favorite and all. But now, with her and Percy gone at college, I was the one that was forced to show around new campers, I was the one that had to help out the little kids, and i was the one that was expected to act PERFECT. like an emotionless ragdoll, hell, I'd kill myself if someone told me to. I felt like I was the one holding up the sky. with the weight of all of these things on my back on top of the fact that my dad was now a puny teenager named Lester and the fact that Julius Ceaser is trying to replace him as the sun god, I could never be okay. I could never be at peace. I always had to do SOMETHING. I wasn't even a social person anyway. I'd rather sit in a corner and wallow up in self pity or read The Song of Achilles than do whatever this was called. it was not ideal. I just wanted to be left alone, to be a normal demigod. I'd trade anything to not be known as the kid that makes hyacinth bloom where they walk. I wish I wasn't so sensitive, I wish I wasn't the way I was. My fatal flaw was fear. I was so afraid to disappoint the people around me, to hurt them, that i put aside my own needs and wants for them. That's why i was like this. I hate myself. I'm the loneliest person on earth. I'm surrounded by those that love me yet i don't feel loved. I'm surrounded by people that care for me and i know it yet I'm like well, this. My sobs grew louder as i removed my head from my pillow as i coughed and hiccupped. I lay flat on my stomach as i close my eyes and hide under the covers. I was freezing cold, yet i couldn't even get the motivation to get up. I hadn't come out of my cabin all day and i knew my siblings were worried. Will had come in about 4 times today to check on me but i acted like i was asleep to avoid conversation. I felt bad, i really did, but i just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I hiccuped and coughed as my cabin door creaked open. I froze in fear as i hold in my coughs, losing oxygen by the second. I heard soft footsteps approaching my bed. It was leo. the rest of my siblings were too loud to go unnoticed. I shivered as the covers were lifted over my head. I squeezed my eyes shut even though i knew it was of no use. "Hermosa?" Leo softly said. I opened my eyes as i sighed in defeat, "h-hi." I stammered, hiccuping. I could see Leo's face fill with concern as he saw my bloodshot eyes and my saddened expression. I sat up, brushing my hair out of my face so i didn't look like such a disaster. I looked at him and saw he was glancing upwards. I followed his glance and saw an entanglement of hyacinth flowers blooming all over my side of the cabin. "oh." i said,as my cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. he glanced down back at me and we made eye contact. "hey, whats wrong?" he softly said, wiping a tear from off my cheek. He sat down on my bed and i practically flew into his lap, head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me gently. I relaxed in his warm, comforting embrace.

#leo valdez x reader #trials of apollo #gn!reader #leo valdez #apollo!reader #angst #percy jackon and the olympians #nb!reader #child of apollo #comfort #i reached the text limit un knowingly so i have to make a pt2 adsfsd

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Okay so the entirety of the WEBTOON is out and so is the KDrama. Both have, in fact, been out for a bit, but I needed to get my thoughts together. Obviously, if you haven't interacted with either piece of media, this is going to be a spoiler it. I'm specifically going to be talking about suicide and the way it's used in the WEBTOON as this particular character backstory and subsequent original death were both changed a lot. If you don't want to read about suicide, fictional or otherwise, or you don't want spoilers, please don't read on.

And if you want to know what's going on or want to know the full context of the WEBTOON because you've either never engaged with the material or have only watched the show? I recommend reading the comic on manhwa instead of WEBTOON since manhwa seems to be totally free. And in order to not take a while (plus lot of ads since you get 1 free chapter per day + 3 ad chapters that last 3 days) to read it there, you'll need the webtoon app and 15 bucks. And no matter what WEBTOON is gonna really yell at you if you do even a single screenshot.

Okay, to start off with, there are some things that don't change for Mr. Yu regardless of medium. No matter what, at the beginning he's seen as cold and distant. He's also extremely buttoned up and more than a little bit awkward around Jiwon to the point where he actually seemed suspicious to me at first because he was just always around when something was about to happen, and Jiwon did not know why that was happening, so neither did I.

It takes until chapter 46 of the WEBTOON for it to be revealed that Jihyeok also traveled back in time and died before. Up until that point, his goals and motivation are still somewhat mysterious. Even though they are like, fully dating by that point. But I don't consider that the biggest change. After all, the WEBTOON is from Jiwon's POV mostly, and the show took a much more widespread approach, which made sense. Also the show had to condense the entire comic into like, 16 episodes. That's a lot to get through.

So here are the things that I actually consider the biggest changes to his character and I promise I'll explain why those lead to the writer's choice of death for him making way more sense for that version to me.

1.) Jihyeok has known that he was romantically interested in Jiwon since before they officially spoke to each other in college. He even specifically saves Pang (the cat) because Jiwon liked that cat and he saw her interacting with that cat. He even saved the cat for her after Jiwon's ex poisoned the cat (yeah, she's literally always had terrible taste in men before Jihyeok).

2.) He quit his job at U&K after Jiwon married Minhwan in an attempt to move on because he still loved Jiwon. Probably wouldn't have been good to be the boss over the newlywed couple you're secretly like jealous over.

3.) The day Jiwon dies, Jihyeok goes to visit her because he learned she'd fallen ill. He sees her take a cab away from the hospital and isn't sure if he should go talk to her. And then he hears a scream and arrives just in time to see her die. He is devastated and arranges and pays for her entire funeral while wishing he could give his own life to go back to fix his own mistakes. Like literally. We get this information extremely clearly.

I think all of this combined with the fact that otherwise in his life, he's made no other choices for himself, makes Jihyeok killing himself make a sort of tragic sense. And also I've seen people say that there was 'no reason' for him to kill himself, and I've just got to wonder if the people who said that read that chapter at all. He literally says multiple times across 2 flashback chapters why he wants to die. Like I don't agree with suicide, but as someone who has battled, and is still battling, depression my entire life, and knows what it's like when it feels like your life has been kind of chosen for you? Going through a situation that he did has got to be devastating. Like in a completely soul crushing way. And if you have nothing to anchor you in life, it's not surprising when that life ends in heartbreak.

And from a literary standpoint there is something deeply tragic about a man who didn't truly make a decision for himself until it was too late and so the only choice he actually makes is how and when to die. The show has a different sort of tragedy in that he never decides how he lives or dies in the show for his first life. I believe my interpretation is further supported by the webtoon making his new life filled with choice. Like a lot of choices.

He is constantly making actual decisions in his new life.

He actually pursues Jiwon, he stands up for himself and others more at work, he actually ends things with Yura and gets her sent away pretty quickly (she doesn't die in the novel and straight up isn’t in the WEBTOON), and then he actually quits for the right reasons. He quits because he never wanted to run U&K in the first place, so he goes off to run his own company and leaves his sister to run it since she's the one who wanted that life. And she's better at it.

And I honestly think the show makes his character a little weaker for not having his arc focus on his choices, both good and bad. That's not to say he doesn't start making choices in the show, but it's more along the lines of 'I'll actually commit to this choice other people made for me'. Well, with the big exception being marrying Jiwon.

Jihyeok's decision to take his own life wasn't a good decision. It's not one I can agree with in real life, but from a writing choice, I like it for the story way more than a random car accident. I like the implications for the character and his arc way more if it's intentional. I think it's a stronger choice if this time he chooses to live and not to die. And also I really liked how it got then mirrored in Minhwan inadvertently killing himself with what was supposed to kill Sumin. I feel like overall the deaths in the WEBTOON in general, but especially with Jiwon, can be governed by the idea of choice, and the show lost that a little bit.

Also in the comic he literally opens his eyes and the first thing he hears and sees in his new life is Jiwon and you cannot tell me that's not the cutest fucking thing.

#marry my husband #yu jihyeok #suicide

[forjongseong]

I don't know where else to type this, but I feel like I have to let it out. I'll consider this an archive.

The past few months haven't been good. I lost the motivation to continue my Korean lessons. The levels are getting too hard and I am struggling to keep up with each meeting. I can barely even speak. I feel like if I pass this level and move on to the next one, I'll struggle even more and that won't do any good.

I have been idle most of the time, since I work freelance, and not having a project to stress about makes me overthink other stuff too much. I worry about the unforeseeable future, I worry about things I can't change. I worry about stuff that might actually be okay if I just don't worry about it.

My cats, I have 11 of them as of now, by the way, have been feeling ill and somehow taking turns going to the vet. Two of my backyard cats I took to the vet last month, and the vet concluded that they were just stressed, but just taking them to see the vet stressed me out. I have a new addition to the family which is a stray female, and she gave birth to three kittens at home, so I decided to spay her once her kittens are weaned. She had an infected eyeball, though, so they had to take her eye out as well while they spayed her. And now, as she is recovering, one of my outdoor cats is feeling ill, and then mama cat's kittens are also showing signs of illness, so I took all four to the vet. So now I have five cats hospitalized at the moment.

It seems like life was a little easier when I was busy being a student, or busy being a teacher, and now that I somehow have a lot more free time, that slot is used for stress.

I don't know what I should do at the moment, but like all of the challenges I have gone through, this too shall pass.

#hope you are all having a better end-of-the-year #at one point i thought that not being alive would be better #like wouldn't it be nice to fall asleep and never wake up #or forever stay in my dreams #it's not like I have anything to lose #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw mental health #nanarants #i believe this is categorized into a rant

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

#moth post #ed tw #sh tw

[handsometheo]

Could u please do handsome jack x reader who is sick,I got covid and I could really use some comfort 🙏(also I really love the way you write your fanfics!😊)

OMG I really hope you're okay! I'll write this before my other request because I actually had a couple of quick ideas for it. (Yes I will be finishing one of my other requests very soon I swear)

Borderlands Masterlist

NOT MY GIF

Handsome Jack x sick! Gn! Reader

Pairing: Handsome Jack x reader

Reader pronouns used: They/them/theirs

Warnings: None that you wouldn't expect with a borderlands fic

Summary: Jack's trying ok?

Let's be completely honest

He has a very vague idea of what to do

Like very vague

He knows he probably should be there for you but he's worried he'd mess up

I feel he's honestly really insecure behind the whole CEO/hero facade.

So he believes that him being there will f*ck things up

He does however hire the best healthcare for you

He has bots doing everything you could ever need and always making sure you're comfortable

However when he inevitably comes back to you, he's by yours side apologising for staying away

He wants to be near you I swear

He's just worried of messing up really bad

OK, and maybe he doesn't want to get ill

He's really careful and cautious with every movement you make

He's a great cook

Don't ask me why I believe this, I just do

Take my word for it

He shoos away the bots he had looking after you and decides that the evening will be his turn at being a good partner to his partner

Cleans both of your living areas

Makes food for the both of you

Feeds any pets you may or may not have

Turns on the tv and prepares a little cuddle corner kind of area for you

Has a very small nap halfway through this

Drags you to the cuddle corner and makes sure you're comfortable

Goes back to the bedroom to finish off a small, minor amount of work

Gets changed

And so, the movie/show marathon of your favourite begins

Even if its the most horrible thing he has to do, he'll do it

He is a self centered, narcissistic, douchebag to everyone else

but for you, he'd give the entire world and so much more just to make you feel safe and comfortable

This applies so much more if you set this as post-Angel

Yeah sorry about that last comment, that hurt me to write

I love Angel

That's not the point of this though!

If you fall asleep halfway through, he'll carry you back to bed and makes sure you're fine

Once he's completely sure you're ok he'll allow himself to drift off to sleep

Surprisingly he forgot all about making himself sick sometime through the marathon..

He'll probably have ended up catching it a few days later and you'll have to care for him

Poor dude

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Sorry its short, I just wanted to get these out there so everyone knew I was still active.

I normally do requests in order but i saw this and couldn't resist writing something quick for it. I am still working on all of my requests but life is slowing me down

Now if anyone would like to help support me, you could maybe visit my redbubble! It would really help me feel motivated if anyone bought from it, thank you!!

Oh and my lovely anonymous friend, I hope you are ok and hope this was something that you would enjoy :)

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #borderlands 2 #x reader #handsome jack borderlands #handsome jack x reader #handsome jack #just adding so please ignore all the random characters #rhys strongfork #bl3 #bl3 tyreen #bl2 zer0 #Zer0 #maya the siren #mad moxxi #rhys the company man

[shifthours]

OK why I think byler would help Mike's character let's go

SO we all know Mike was a great friend (tho a bit of a hothead) in s1 and s2 but then suddenly in s3 and s4 he's kind of an asshole (conviently when he starts dating el)

So right there it's alr a clear connection that milkvan isn't good 4 him bcs?? A relationship isn't healthy if u feel the need 2 detach from all your friends and give nobody else attention except each other...

BUT ANYWAYD I think byler s5 would change SO MANY THINGS 4 mike LIKE 1. HES WELL KNOWN 2 BE NOT THAT GOOD AT FIGHTING RIGHT okay well hear me out will is good at fighting and they have a moment where he teaches him (kind of like that jancy moment where Jon and nancy swapped the gun and bat 2 find out which 1 was better 4 them) and WE KNOW that will brings the bravery out of him (ex he litr goes 2 all means 2 save will despite knowing there's monsters and ppl dying and things) a bravery that was sort of snuffed out in the fact that Mike didn't really have 2 do anything after they found el, he just kind of was like 🤯 el use ur powers and she did so he doesn't rly have 2 do any of that anymore BUT WITH ELEVEN GROWING INTO INDEPENDENCE I think it wld be so nice 2 see a scene of him also learning 2 take care of himself and I think the best one 2 teach him that wld be will (showing him how 2 load a gun nd aim nd shit)

2. He wld finally be able 2 open up abt how he was feeling more often

In the show we've seen like.MANY many times that Mike opens up 2 will more often and more genuinely than he does 2 any1 else (including el)

If byler ends up being real I think it wld be so much more healthy for Mike bcs he would be lying all the time which is like the main msg of their group (friends don't lie!!!!)

3. Again I think we would get better insight 2 mike as a person for the first time since s2, his thoguhts his wants, needs, motivations, everything. Again when has he ever had a truly honest dialogue with eleven about how he feels (and don't tell me the stupid superhero speech bcs that was trash), he never has not really. He never tells el the complexities of his emotions but rather dumbs it down 2 😟 sowwy I was angy and that's it

But with will they really deeply talk abt things and admit things 2 each other that they don't talk 2 any1 else abt and having a connection like that be one of the main focuses in the show wld totally let us see into mikes thoughts and therefore him as a character so much better

4. HE CLD INTERACT W HIS FRIENDS IN A NORMAL WAY AGAIN one thing that irked me so bad w milkvan is they are insanely clingy 2 thr point of being unhealthy

Even though Mike and will have one or two moments in s4, this like?? Unhealthy obsessed attitude is still present (in mike at least, el seems 2 be getting over it), all he talks abt is el, he hardly even mentions anyone else at all despite seeing will for the first time in a year (u think he wld talk abt the party more?? b4 el got kidnapped I mean)

BUT ANYWASY yeah s3 was also rly bad w that where he wld just abandon his friends 4 her ALL THE TIME and there's a point where like.you really aren't a good friend if all u do is ditch them 24/7 and they all call him out 4 it.

BUT when el's out of the picture he seems to have no problem hanging out w the party (ex. When hopper told mike 2 stay away from el or else, and mike immediately starting hanging out w lucas and will again?? Yeah)

so I think byler wld make him a better friend as well

OK I think that is all the points I wanted 2 hit I feel like I'm missing one but ill just come back later and add on if I rmbr 😟??? BUT ANAYWAYS YEAH byler real

#st4 #stranger things 4 #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #st5

[eriexplosion]

Athelstan and Floki for the blorbo bingo chart

ATHELSTAN ATHELSTAN ATHELSTAN he is such a fucking good blorbo. Actual soft sweet boy who's done nothing wrong in his life ever and also... so very fucking tormentable. I'm sorry for stuffing you in the salad spinner time and time again athelstan but you fit in it so well.

Anyway I adore him, hold him close to my chest, I want him to be lovingly fed and wrapped in warm blankets and also for him to suffer a little you know? Absolutely essence of blorbo fucking peak blorbo emotions coming from this boy. He is the only character that if I see hate for him I block immediately.

I wanted Floki's gender from the instant I saw him and that's why I write him trans. Full self indulgence for me personally. It's interesting because Floki and Athelstan definitely aren't my first blorbo emotions ever by any means but they really are like. Platonic ideals of my types.

Also I am so very protective over him, because I feel like canon kind of took him into weird places with season 3 - I just think that if you want a character to commit murder on another major character you need better motive than "it came to me in a vision" especially when you already had said other character convert religions BECAUSE IT ALSO CAME TO HIM IN A VISION. And I think the easy acceptance of the plot point even though it is not led up to at all does come from an ableist place because Floki is 'crazy' and therefore dangerous. When really the things that make Floki dangerous in this show have nothing to do with his mental illness symptoms and he's not anymore violent then anyone around him.

OKAY SPEECH DONE I JUST ADORE HIM A LOT.

#eri answers #vikings

[veilchenjaeger]

I finished First Kill! I really enjoyed it, but boi, this show sure gets talked about like it's a wholesome lesbian love story when there's so much going on literally all the time. I'm not kidding. So much happens in this show. My head is reeling a little. The teen lesbians are cute too, though.

I'll write up some first impressions under the cut, but I legit don't even know where to start with this. There's so much going on.

I guess that's the first point - I do feel like the show would benefit from having like... one more episode. A ton of plot points are legitimately really interesting and the dynamics both between characters and between organisations/sides in this conflict fuck, actually. I have no idea why so many people are saying the plot is bad; the plot is fucking awesome.

What's a little off imo is the pacing. I'll definitely watch this again, if only bc I need that to understand all the characters' motivations and what sparks some actions they take. That might just be me being really fucking tired atm, but I think it would have been good for the show to let developments and new dynamics settle for a short while before introducing new changes. Cal getting the fantastic idea that Juliette would be safe at her family's house (???) is just one of a few things that didn't quite make sense, and some developments feel rather rushed - Ben accepting Juliette, for example; I get why he changes his mind, but he does go from "Playing with humans doesn't make you a human" to #1 Vampire Ally very quickly.

Speaking of rushed things - I hate that I have to say that, but the relationship between Cal and Juliette is somehow the one I'm the least invested in out of all the relationships in this show. I don't think it's bad! But the criticism that it's weak writing to have characters be so in love they'd give up everything for each other after approximately two days of knowing each other does still apply if the characters are lesbians. The way their relationship is written relies very much on "They're in love because they're In Love", with love being this grand thing that is mostly divorced from what these characters know and like about each other and how they interact in contexts that aren't explicitly romantic.

Now, they are 16 and stupid, and I like their fight in the end because it shows that they don't actually understand that much about each other, which is why I'm not too mad about all this, but they barely hang out. We don't know what they'd enjoy doing together. Juliette has somewhat serious feelings for Cal before or shortly after having talked to her for the first time, apparently? Don't get me wrong, I did like their interactions, but every other relationship in this show is so fleshed out and theirs just... isn't, it's "They're In Love" as a statement rather than a story, and I find that disappointing, especially because I think it could have been easily solved by making them catch the big feelings a bit later in the story, or just showing them interact more.

That being said, I'd be so on board with a "We had a probably ill-advised fling that ended up unbalancing systems that have been in place for millennia, and now we're broken up but shit is still hitting the fan and we actually still have feelings for each other, so that's awkward" storyline for them. Please. It could be so good.

Okay. Negative points... done, actually? The CGI is bad, but that's literally whatever. Suspend some fucking disbelief and shut up about the CGI. The writing in the first episode is awkward to the point that it's bad, but it gets better. There are a few silly and overdramatic lines, and some narrative or writing choices that don't work (How the fuck does turning someone into a vampire work in this universe?), but I don't really mind those. So!! I liked a fuckton of things about this show and I'm gonna have a hard time putting all of that that into words!

First of all, I appreciate what this show is. It's a camp vampire story that plays with and leans into tropes and aesthetics of the genre, and it seems like that's exactly what it wants to be. (I think the most productive way of criticising art is to ask, "What does this want to be and does it succeed at being that?") It is, and this must not be underestimated, a genre story about a lesbian couple that is neither focused on queer issues nor cutesy fluff. I literally needed that so badly. These stories have been popping up lately, but they're still rare afaik, and First Kill delivers on the not being cutesy front. GODS I need to see fictional lesbians kill people more often. It heals my soul.

I also think the central conflicts are so fucking interesting. It's a way more complex web of ties, alliances, and enmities than it appears to be in the first few episodes. Politics are my favourite thing in stories ever, and to have 1) the Fairmonts and their fraught relationship to the Legacy vampires as a whole, 2) the Burns family and their relationship to the Guild, which turns out to be less than ideal, 3) the mostly uninvolved humans around them who end up causing possibly the most damage (the fucking anti-monster mums. PLEASE. This is somehow so realistic) as players on this chessboard where everyone can turn against their nominal allies at any moment - that's catnip to me.

It's a story where so far, no one is truly in the right, and most people aren't truly in the wrong either, everyone has their motivations that are fully understandable, and these motivations are all explored. There's no one truly evil, so far, and that's always something I appreciate deeply.

Next point: Character dynamics. Good shit. The sibling dynamics! The at times tense but still ride-or-die dynamic between Cal and her brothers is really fun, and Juliette and Elinor!!! THAT'S a fucking great dynamic if I've ever seen one! The family constellations in general! Margot and Sebastian, good lord - I did not expect to get this invested in them, but here I am. Sure, kiss your husband right after he ate your mother. You deserve it. The friendship between Ben and Juliette is also lovely; the spooning scene they had was so sweet. Love me some platonic relationships that are portrayed as intimate and extremely important.

I also just love the characters in general. Talia and Margot especially. I can't believe we get two whole flavours of protective mother in this show and they're both hot.

Also :) Elinor :) Elinor gives me brain rot and I really hope they don't fuck up what they created with her in case they get a second season. I could write meta on her - maybe will at some point - but the bottom line is: I LOVE "evil" characters who do absolutely horrible things but care deeply about others. Elinor loves her sister and her parents so much (r.i.p. Oliver tho), and fucking hell, she didn't even kill Theo. "One Burns down, four to go" - honey, you could have killed Apollo as well right the fuck there, but you Did Not. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they let her stay a complex character in season 2 (which I'm speaking into existence) and don't make her a Purely Evil Big Bad. She didn't agree to a political marriage for this.

Also, the sheer amount of IDs she has! What has she been doing? How isn't Savannah empty?

There's a lot more to say bc there is a LOT going on, but that's what my brain latched onto for now. Anyways, the best scene remains the one where Sebastian just straight up eats his mother-in-law. Go off, king. Treat yourself.

#[talk less smile more] #/go watch first kill

[lonelyquail]

OK OK MORE LETS DO 1???? seems like a nice little odd number

ok so ive been motivation paralyzed for the past two days so im only doing this now press f for me but also okay so 1 is celine which is rough since her deal is wrapped up in other characters and also u already know a lot about it also also she really doesnt have a lot of deal on her own?? shes just funnysilly but ill do what i can.

okay so hands you this beast

i swear i dont have a dumb pixel for every one of my ocs just her and hugslug. for now.

anyway! celine is a silly little necromancer and also my dnd character right now and the separation between what's dnd and what's oc stuff in my brain is Very Wibbly And Unclear so ill just assume that her backstory ive been using in dnd is her canon one

so background is that shes a magic school dropout who decided that doing puppet shows of all things is her true calling in life. celine is a beast of hindsight and this did not work out so naturally the catgirl turns to a life of crime (but still does puppet shows for local thieves guilds on the weekends). this background makes me really happy its very silly.

anyway she does some magic crimes because she is Basically completely self taught (in the campaign shes an arcane trickster by the way since necromancer isnt really its own class. its fine) and i Do joke that she got into magic for the sparkles but she does have another motive. a motive that is not very well thought out but im Sure will go fine for her

oh also she had a little brother at one point. im sure she has other fambly too but she hasnt talked to them in a while after yknow, dropping out of school and probably disappointing them. oopsie headbonk hehe. she and said brother were always close though theyre partners in crime and she Would do anything for him especially because he's the designated braincell holder. im sure nothing bad happened to said brother (died in a workplace accident at the ripe age of like fourteen <3)(so yeah that motive i mentioned before uhhhhhh yeah catgirl's gonna bring back the dead And shes gonna make it purrsonal im sure nothing will go wrong here)

(things do go wrong but if you want to know about that you have to ask me about nico <3)

oh also she has a girlfriend who 1. actually went to school and is honestly Baffled at how shes gotten this far and 2. is a crow so i can call her a necrowmancer. she has a deal too but i mostly just wanted a nekomancer necrowmancer pair <3 a necromance.... her deal isnt as thought out as my others but if you wanna know more about her you have to ask about iris

also heres a full art of her. i kind of prefer the colors on the pixel but trad art is unpredictable <3

thank u for coming to my tedtalk

#i notice that i have like. subtypes of character #i have characters who exist to have really interesting connections with others and i have ones who have interesting deals on their own #i think celine is very much the former #shes kinda like hitori to me where the connections to other characters make me more invested in them than them on their own #though i do still love both dearly #by the way i have dnd again on wednesday woo! #celine is Very lightly inspired by hitori but like in a /pos way as opposed to sera #who is a bit more heavily inspired by him in a /neg way #honestly her only relation is that i stole a lot of nico's story elements from that one fullmental illness bird au #so if youre caught up on the kazzie brainrot lore you might know whats coming and if so you should be afraid #anyway yeah because of that they have a slightly similar Role. minus the stabby ex. celine does not have that #anyway yeah ask me about nico also. that is not the name of her brother but youll learn more about him if u ask abt nico #oh by the way shes transed gender #wanted to mention this #her brother is too actually. they stole each others genders. good for them

[abandonedaccountnowsadly]

I'm not sure what I'm doing here, I suppose I just want to get my thoughts out, somewhere where nobody knows it’s me.

Tuesday, Dec 19th, 2023, 10 PM

I'm going to get my permit tomorrow, I've practiced, not as much as I could, Im not as motivated or smart as people think I am in real life, I'm too tired to study how I wish I could

I did the practice test, I read some of the manual, it was okay, I won't remember a lick of it tomorrow when it matters though :)

I have wanted to do this for so long, but first I wasn't allowed my birth certificate, then when I finally had it no one made it important enough to take me

I'm never important enough

I'm nervous, im scared I will fail, if I fail people will see I've failed, they will judge me, my worst fear is being thought of as a failure or dumb, I want to be seen as smart, I will show people I am smart, if I am not smart I am nothing but impatient and sarcastic, no one likes that

I am mean a lot, I guess I lose my temper with people more than I mean to, I am scared of showing myself as soft, softness looks weak and I want to be strong, I KNOW showing weakness and admitting fault and apologizing is strong, but my brain doesn't accept that, so I fail

What am I but a failure, hidden beneath layers of false knowledge and smarts and wit

Maybe if I hide my failures long enough people won't see what a fraud I am

It's 10:10 pm now, now it's 10:11, time ticks by and I am not yet asleep, I wish I was high, floating in nothingness, my brain muddled with marijuana until I am nothing but a floating mess of thoughts that make no sense and I am free

I wish I had the guts to cut myself, I've hit myself, the pain is freeing but I do not like the feeling of my blood pooling into a bruise

I wish I could cut myself, but I hate the feeling of my flesh splitting open, it makes me nauseous, and yet the blood is mesmerizing, I've done it once and I panicked and haven't done it since

I've scratched myself, God Is it nice, to feel my arms burn and turn red and to feel the welts

Am I a fraud for it, am I hurting myself only for attention?

My thoughts are everywhere again, I'm going to go read my stupid fanfics and forget about life for awhile, ill let you know how the test goes

Hopefully I don't fail, if I do I'll punish myself, I'll say it now, no eating for a day

Goodnight everyone, it's 10:14 now

[dakotahfrank]

Revelations of Devine Love

What's the Deal?

The big question I have when reading anything is "what does this mean?" or "okay, what's going on here?" In the Revelations of Devine Love Julian is telling people of the visions she saw when she was seriously ill, and on her death bed. (Julian of Norwich 524) Although her revelations may seem very personal, I don't think someone could write about something so personal in a vague way. Even though this was a very religious time period, this writing was "considered one of the most remarkable documents of medieval religious experience." ("Julian of Norwich") So naturally I was intrigued to learn more about religious experience writings.

Religious Experience

So, what exactly is a religious experience? "The awareness of the holy, which evokes awe and reverence; the feeling of absolute dependence that reveals a human being’s status as a creature; the sense of being at one with the divine; the perception of an unseen order or of a quality of permanent rightness in the cosmic scheme; the direct perception of God; the encounter with a reality 'wholly other'; the sense of a transforming power as a presence". (Smith) This is spot on with Julian's Revelations. When Julian is writing her revelations, she speaks about wanting to be one with Christ. She writes "For I would be one of them and suffer with him." This one line alone speaks volumes to what a religious experience is. Julian is desperate to feel what Christ feels, she wants to be one with him. Julians 16 showings... or revelations are quite literally her direct perception of God. She is having a very personal encounter with God or "wholly other". She is very moved emotionally by this time, and even goes so far as wanting to feel the pain Jesus did. "The Eighth is of the last pains of Christ, and His cruel dying." (Julian) This type of writing is very intriguing to me because I feel like people cannot make this stuff up. It is so personal and seems to not be for political gain. The motive is simply to tell people of a deep personal experience she had with God. When I read Julian's writing it is so vivid and really gives the audience a look into her life at this time, and the connection she felt to God.

So, who was Julian?

There really isn't a lot of information about Julian other than what is in her work. Some speculate that her name might not have even been Julian, or that instead it was her Christian name. However, we do know some things. Julian was an anchoress, someone who removes themselves from society to be completely dedicated to their religion and relationship with God. I don't know that it's the same thing, but it does remind me of nun's or other religions that have very dedicated prayer schedules or meetings. She also counseled other people in religious ways. People who have studied her work also believe she was probably educated and may have had children. I thought this was actually shocking for some reason. Since she was so dedicated to her religion, I would have thought she wouldn't have had relationships with men. But I assume it was expected of women in that time to have children. Although there was a lot happening in Norwich during this time like the Black Plague, and Peasants Revolt she didn't ever write about these things. I think that really sheds light on the fact that she secluded herself from the outside world, had no political motive in her writings, and had completely indulged in her relationship with God. (Wikipedia Julian of Norwich)

Take-Away

I think the little bit we know about Julian is fascinating. Her revelations are of course so personal, but the dedication she had to God is unlike almost anything I've ever seen. I wish she had more published work and there was more information about her day-to-day life. I also wonder if someone in today's society would be able to disconnect from society for so long for religious purposes. I'm sure someone somewhere... I also love the fact that her writings weren't for any other purpose than to tell her story. In today's society it seems that everything has an ulterior motive behind it and reading her pieces and knowing about her life makes reading this piece seem so genuine.

Sources

“Julian of Norwich.” Encyclopedia Britannica, 21 Mar. 1999, academic-eb-com.libproxy.eku.edu/levels/collegiate/article/Julian-of-Norwich/44118/history. Accessed 17 Nov. 2022.

“Julian of Norwich.” Wikipedia, 19 Apr. 2020, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_of_Norwich.

Smith, John. “Religious Experience.” Encyclopedia Britannica, 20 July 1998, academic-eb-com.libproxy.eku.edu/levels/collegiate/article/religious-experience/109480/history. Accessed 17 Nov. 2022.