#this would've been in my schedules for 10 fucking months

[gartenofbanny]

Overture is the first official episode for Hazbin Hotel, and after nearly four years of waiting, somehow, this episode is very bad. I'm not going to provide a summary of the episode but instead I'm going to provide what I liked and what I didn't like. So let's get started.

Positives

The animation for this episode is pretty good. While it isn't really as smooth as Helluva's and has some noticeable errors, it's still well animated for the most part.

Adam's part if the song is honestly a fucking bop and thankfully the genre is different from most Helluva songs.

Lute is my favorite character in this episode. She's a cold, stern Exorcist who hates demons. I have no clue why she isn't the leader, but Adam is considering how seriously she takes being an Exorcist and how professional she is for the most part.

This little bit with Niffty having stage fright is pretty funny.

And that's it for the positives now onto the negatives.

Negatives

One of the things I really hate about this episode is that it reveals WAY too much so early on. In this episode, it's revealed that Adam and the other Exorcists like killing Demons essentially doing it for sport, rendering Charlie's redemption useless, Exorcists are able to fucking die, and Adam has moved his schedule from another year to 6 months for the next Cleanse.

I honestly expected the first episode to show Charlie trying to redeem demons, a twist like that would've worked if it was like halfway through the season.

This episode, for some reason, has two plotlines when it would've been better if it just stuck with Charlie meeting the Exorcist one. We spent some minutes of this episode with Vaggie trying to make a TV commercial for the Hotel, however we never get to see the commercial itself, so what was the point?

Secondly, why would Vaggie and Charlie ask Alastor to make a television commercial for them? His entire thing is radios. It's like having a powerlifter do a track video. They're both completely different skill sets with their own benefits.

Also, if Alastor really does hate televisions THAT much, then why was he entertained when Katie and Charlie fought in the pilot by watching Televison?

I'm honestly unsure whether or not the pilot for Hazbin Hotel is canon. Adam states that it has been a week since the cleanse, Vaggie states that they recruited Alastor for the hotel last week, and the pilot takes place some time after the Cleanse. While the Helluva Boss pilot isn't canon anymore, it's up in the air whether or not the Hazbin Pilot is.

This fucking cat is still confusing. It literally just appeared in this episode with no explanation of how it was made or came to be or what it even does.

Adam, as a character, is one of the most irritating I've ever seen. He embodies those "If this was written by Vivziepop" memes, his singing voice is top notch, but as a character, he doesn't act any different from the demons he's supposed to kill. So it makes me question what's even the difference between Angels and Demons.

Last but not least, Adam says that there won't be a Demon left alive to kill another Exorcist.

And right off the bat does Adam know that killing every Demon in Hell is literally impossible? As long as humans die, Sinners are going to keep existing. Unless if Heaven decides to make everyone into angels, which is highly unlikely. And Lute says herself that Charlie and her family are exempt from the yearly cleansing, so they're not truly getting rid of every possible threat in Hell.

Overall, I'd give this episode a 5/10. It's a very rough start, especially since Vivziepop and her writers had nearly 4 years to write this out, but it's just very messy.

#vivziepop critical #vivziepop #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel #vivienne medrano #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique

[jadeleechsupportgroup]

it's time once again for personal shit no one asked for below the jump

cw: mental illness, hospital mentions, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt/death

(i'm okay, i'm not doing/have not done anything dangerous, it's just getting words out)

my birthday is tomorrow. i am sad about it for reasons beyond the usual because i don't care about getting old. actually i never thought i'd make it this far but that's beside the point.

a few years ago, i was in the midst of yet another major depressive episode. this was prior to a diagnosis and any medication. i was out of town, visiting someone around thanksgiving, a 'holiday' i loathe. i was a big sad. i took a mental health assessment through my online pharmacy, and their doctor recommended i go to the emergency room immediately. (no idea who would've paid for that, but it wasn't about to be me, so i did not do that. i did schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, though. snaps for baby rexii.)

unknown to me, and unrelated, that same day, a friend of mine several states away overdosed on her medication. she had been hoarding her antidepressants and insulin for over a month and then took it all at once. she was alone for something like 17 hours before some friends suspected danger and reached out to her family, when her son went to check on her and found her.

she was in the hospital for 10 days. she had seizures. i knew the minute i heard what had happened that she wouldn't make it, even based on my limited knowledge of medical crap.

but then i got added to the group chat and it was people all talking about how sad it was and how they were always available if someone needed to talk. and how we should all record video messages to play for her so we could 'get through' to her and encourage her to wake up from the coma.

i couldn't tell you why today any more than i could have told you three years ago, but it all disgusted me. it still does. i hate false hope. and i hate how easy it is for people to say 'my door is always open' when you know they wouldn't know how to handle a 3am phone call saying "i was going to yeet myself in front of a bus but i watched a bunch of tiktoks and discovered a podcast that seems pretty cool." without either hanging up or calling the cops on you.

that aside.

the aftermath did confirm for me that i needed to get help before i ended up doing that to people i cared about. i got meds. i leveled out (mostly). i got her tattoo on my arm. fuck, there's so much more to it that i just don't feel like typing.

they took her off of life support the day before my birthday, and that's the day she died. three years today.

and now i get to live with that forever. my birthday is hard enough being this close to The Holidays™️, and now i get to have this hanging over my head forever. i hate myself for being mad about it and making it about me when i'm the one who's still here. i hate being surrounded by relentless positivity and treated like i'm the crazy bitch. i hate so much. i am full of so much rage and despair and other feelings without names.

[touyasdoll]

Kinktober Hoevember Day 10: Office Sex

Pairing: boss!Eren Jaeger x secretary!reader (f)

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: power imbalance, exhibitionism, biting, pussy job, unprotected sex, backshot

"If you don't quiet down, someone's gonna hear you," Eren pants in your ear, the warmth of his lips tickling the shell of it as he leans over you, hips rutting into your behind while his hands continue to grope at your breasts.

He's already breathless, too worked up over how worked up he's gotten you. He's confident that when he finally hikes up your skirt and tears through your pantyhose that you'll be thoroughly drenched and he's not wrong.

It didn't take much for Mr. Jaeger to get you into this state, never really has. Since you started here two months ago, he's been pretty up front about the effect that you have on him. On his cock, more specifically.

He's not the most smoothest talker on the planet, but he sure as fuck knows how put his mouth to good use in plenty of other ways. Much like the way that they're attached to your neck right now, sucking, kissing and nibbling while he's got you bent over his desk.

His impatient has already popped a button on your blouse, so you're trying to keep enough of your sense about you to unbutton the rest before he rips the whole thing open. Meanwhile, his long fingers trail up your thighs, lifting your skirt up while he taps the inside of your foot with the tip of his shoe, silently instructing you to spread your legs further.

You comply, widening your stance as you unfasten the last button on your top and shrug it off, letting it fall to the floor just before he drops his trousers, boxers and all. The familiar clink of his belt against the floor makes you gush a little and it almost embarrasses you.

It probably would've if Eren hadn't worked so tirelessly to rid you of nearly any shame pertaining to your body. Even now he's praising it, praising you, endlessly and selflessly.

"Gonna be a long fucking weekend without this perfect little pussy to bury myself in," he exhales the words as he nuzzles his nose against your cheek and you can feel the grin tugging at his lips. "When are you gonna let me take you out, baby? We both know you're too good for me, but can't you at least give me a chance?"

You're about to respond when he sucks particularly hard on the pulse point in your neck and cups his hand over your sex, rubbing his middle finger along your clothed slit, pushing the fabric right up against your core to ensure that it's thoroughly soaked, as if it wasn't already.

You moan in response, rocking your hips eagerly to try and catch some friction against his hand when he pulls away and you let out a soft whine.

"Ah, ah," he chides you quietly. "I've got a meeting in ten, so as much as I would love to take my time with you, we have to make this quick, babe."

One hand presses between your shoulder blades to bend you over further, so that you're nearly flush against his wide, mahogany desk before both grip your ass cheeks, giving them a firm squeeze as he leans back to marvel at the sight.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he mutters under his breath as his nails catch on the thin material of your pantyhose.

"Ere—"

It's too late, they're toast. Another pair has fallen victim to his impatience, but you don't have much time to be upset about it, because he's already got your panties pulled down and now his cock is gliding so effortlessly between your lips.

The swollen, leaky head of his dick catches on your clit with each slow pass, making you desperate with need and an intense desire to be filled that he fully intends to quell. You're thankful he's on a schedule, because you know all to well that he would toy with you endlessly if he had the time.

But today he doesn't.

Nor does he have restraint to keep himself from sinking straight into your tight hole, pushing in slowly until he bottoms out and lets out a throaty groan before he starts casting his hips at a steady pace.

"Oh shit," you pant, clutching to the end of the desk for some leverage to fuck back against him. "Eren, fuck yeah. Just like that."

"Yeah? You like that, baby?" His hands travel up your sides as he hunches over you slightly, both hands pawing at the cups of your bra to pull them down, freeing your breasts, so that he can roll your nipples between his fingers.

"Y-yes, love it. Feels—oh shit—feels so fucking good."

He chuckles and the sound is so promising, so luxuriously dark, that it has you gushing again, clenching around him as his cock makes such a mess of your greedy cunt.

"Hold on tight," his hands leave your breasts to seize your hips as he bends over to place a kiss to your shoulder. "Because we really do have to make this quick."

And with that, he leans back once more, tightening his hold on your hips as he quickly evolves his steady pace into one that's nearly relentless.

The sound of skin slapping against skin mingles with the bitten back moans that you're struggling to swallow as he delivers thrust after delicious thrust into you, each one pushing you closer and closer to the edge of euphoria until your grip on the desk is so tight that it nearly impossible to maintain as you brace yourself for the impact of your orgasm.

"What're you holding on for?" You can hear the smug smile on his unfairly handsome face as he reaches around you again, this time to press his finger to your clit, drawing intentionally tight circles around it until you're hit with the impact that you knew you were wildly unprepared for.

You cry out, entirely too loud before you clap a hand over your mouth, closing your eyes tight as you melt against the desk, body still bouncing off of his length while you try to muffle the moans and pleased whimpers trying to escape you.

"There you go, baby. Doesn't that feel better? Let it all out for me, gorgeous," he rasps, his own hips stuttering until he's dangerously close to finishing himself.

He withdraws quickly, letting his seed shoot onto your back while you lay against the cool wood and try to recover your breath.

"Damn," he sighs, noticeably more relaxed than he was when you entered his office to drop of his third, and entirely unnecessary, coffee order of the day. "Thanks, baby."

He reaches over to grab a couple of tissues from the box on his desk, wiping the evidence of your tryst off of your spine before he tidies himself up.

"Oh and uh, sorry about the pantyhose," he adds with a chuckle, accompanying the apology with a gentle tap to your behind.

Kinktober Masterlist

#kinktober 👻 #eren x reader #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager smut #aot smut #aot x reader #snk x reader #snk smut #tw power imbalance

[rimaiahwrites]

Red handed—

Chapter seven

After Erik drove away Israel came in to the house grinning even though he low key pissed her off.

She was still happy that she got to spend time with him, Erik was actually bringing happiness and excitement to her dull life and she couldn't be happier about it.

Israel walked right passed her brothers and into the kitchen, not even noticing all her brothers and their friends sitting in the living room looking at her like she lost her mind.

She grabbed a water bottle and began to chug it. Until she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around and started choking on the cold water. Noah got up from the floor and made his way over to pat her on the back.

When she got her choking under Control, she waved at them giving her best smile trying not to look suspicious.

"Who the fuck was that nigga you was wit'?" Her smile dropped.

"What are you talking about I-" Jay cut his eyes at her, daring her to lie to his face. Israel rolled her eyes trying to play it off. "He's Just one of my friends jay, relax."

"Since when do you have guy friends?" He asked walking into the kitchen. Everyone now quiet like he was some sort of king.

"Since when did I have to answer to you?" Israel spit back, looking him up and down. Jay was a bit taken back from her tone because it wasn't like her to get go smart mouth with him.

"Since you were born fuck you mean when? You forgetting that you the youngest?" He said cocking his head back like she just said the most stupidest shit ever. "no but You keep forgetting I'm grown. I can do as I please." She hissed slamming the freighter door shut. "I'm not no damn baby anymore, stop trying to tell me what I can and can't do I'm grown rather you like it or not, the fuck" she said stepping up to him as if he wasn't 6'0 and bulky grown man. not even realizing that she had raised her tone with him...or that she was cussing.

"Girl-" she quickly held her hand up to hush him. "No! I'm so done with this shit! Y'all three get to do whatever y'all want and y'all still live in mom and dads house and don't nobody say shit to y'all but when I hang out with someone of the opposite gender it's a problem? as if you did just sneak that girl In your room not to long ago, as if y'all wasn't fucking in there while mom was downstairs right under your room." She spit out dropping her head down a bit to give him a death stare. She was so irritated and had so much adrenaline running through her, she was shaking.

"You really can't say shit to me jay!" She said slapping her hand on the counter, and her other hand in her hip. Looking like a middle aged black mama yelling at her disobedient child while jay just stood there staring wildly at her but there wasn't much he could say. It was all true. She cut him up and now he was stuck not knowing what to say.

It was quiet in the living room and kitchen.

Jays friends didn't say a thing but they were fully entertained with the argument going on between the two Sibling.

"So what you just fucking random niggas now? Huh? That's where you was last night? At that niggas house being a hoe?" He shouted, veins popping out the side of his head. Israel face dropped at his words and they stung more then she thought they would.

You could hear a pin drop nobody made a move or spoke a word. Just a silent staring contest between the two. Jays fists balled, shoulders squared looking like he was ready to fight while Israel on the other hand was her eyes were getting glossy and her breathing heavy. She could feel the lump in her throat getting harder to swallow.

She cleared her throat and turn to walk back to get her bag by the front door. And heading up stairs, there was nothing else to be said. Israel now knew that her big brother saw her as nothing more then just a hoe, he has made it very clear today.

Israel waited until she was 18 just to talk to men and now he was calling her a hoe not even knowing that she only stayed for the night, And that was all. But there was no point in arguing with jay, he was stubborn and a asshole. if that's what he thought that's what he thought.

She shut her bedroom door and headed straight to her bed, stuffing her face in her pillow tears coming down like a waterfall.

She was Tempted to call Erik just so he could come get her of the hell hole she called home.

Maybe that was over dramatic but she hated it here, she loved her family but being with them 24/7 wasn't something she planned on doing once she turned eighteen. She honestly thought she would have been treated like her brothers were but then again she was never given a fraction of the freedom her brothers has. She was never treated like her feelings mattered, everything has always been about the boys.

You would think that since she's the only daughter her father has she would be treated like a princess and get away with everything but that definitely wasn't the case with her father. She was always the one to get yelled at first, she was always the first one to get blamed for something she didn't do and was always the first to get it the worst of her siblings.

Her father was a strict, mean military man that had no Sympathy for anyone and he clearly passed that down to his oldest son.

She was so sick of crying over them, she was so sick of being mistreated.

With tears still running down her face she sat up and took a deep breath feeling like she was dropping down into that deep hole she liked to hide herself in when she was feeling down.

His words replaying in her head like a broken record. She wasn't a hoe and she knew that and she knew that she didn't sleep with Erik but some how his words sank into her skin so deep that she felt dirty. Like she had committed some sort of sin.

She was only having fun, and finally getting the teenage experience she never got to have when she was younger.

Israel was tired of crying over things her family has said to her it was time for her to stop letting their words hurt her and effort her mental health.

She stood up from her bed and decided that she wanted to take a flower bath and just pray her troubles away.

-

Erik parked his black Mercedes-Benz G-Class outside of the were house he owned. This was the place he kept all of his weapons, books, important papers and information he had collected over the years of him being in college and the navy.

He and ten of his close friends that he met in the navy had formed a elite group of former navy seals. Their jobs were to Take down small governments and expose them. They also would kill small amounts of police officers and clans men which 9 times outta 10 were the same group of men.

About six months age they made a little mistake that almost got them caught which would've cost them their lives which is why they took a break to regroup to better themselves. Erik and three of his boys ace, zeik and Rae all trained the hardest they ever have far as fighting techniques, Brent, rocky and von all worked with weapons and the rest of the boys were hackers.

Today was their first meeting in six months. Erik has changed Plans and moved things from the original date so this meeting is important.

Erik walked to the side door of the warehouse and slide up the side  paneling to reveal the handprint scanner, that was the only way to get into it up less you climb to the very top and through the window but the chances of that happening was slim. Once he was into he went to the corner of the large warehouse and behind the staircase that lead you to go upstairs which was empty.

He walked into the staircase little door where there was a another door that used Voice activation to open. "State your name please." a robotic voice said as it Scanned his face. "Erik Stevens."

"Face scan complete, welcome back erik." The voice said as the heavy Metal door opened to Reveal his underground lab.  "Feels good to be back." Erik Chuckled as he walked down the steps. All of his boys turned their heads from the game of pool to Erik. "Ayo Erik where you been at motherfucka you was supposed to be here a hour and a half ago." Erik grin as he dubed ace up ignoring zeik interrogation. "Right and you be the main one mad if Someone else late to the meetings." Rae butted in.

Erik rolled his eyes.

"If y'all don't shut the fuck up, I gotta life to I just got caught up." He shrugged them off as he walked over to his desk. Rae eyebrows raised as he looked at the rest of them and they all were just as confused as him. Erik and "personal" just didn't go together in the same sentence, if he wasn't working out he was working. Erik was always work, work, work.

Brent smirked as he grabbed his water  bottle and took a sip "him must got a new bitch or sum'" ace snorted "nigga yeah right that nigga ain't been in a relationship in years, Erik fucks and dips." It was true. That just wasn't like Erik.

"All I hear is you motherfuckas being worried about me let's get to work!" Erik clap his hands exactly as he went into the meeting room with the rest of the men following.

-

After a four hour meeting they had finally figured everything out. It was now 10:46 and Erik was tired, Israel sleeping over had him exhausted since it fucked up his sleep schedule. On a normal day Erik was in bed 11 o'clock and up at 6 o'clock in the morning. Sleep was very important to a healthy life style. It was Proven that people that get at least 7 hours of sleep they live longer.

Soon as Erik got home he took a shower and got straight in bed. he didn't even bother putting on clothes.

It's almost been a week since Erik has last spoken to Israel since he had been so busy. It's been strictly wake up, eat, work, train and work some more he didn't really have time to hang or call.

He felt a little bad for it but he knew that she knew he wasn't ignoring her intentionally...at least he hoped she knew that.

Today Erik was going to the gun range with ace just to do some training and catch up with him since they really hasn't had the chance to do that.

Since ace's car was in the shop right now so erik decided to pick him up instead of him catching a Uber. Soon as erik pulled up to aces Apartment he saw he step out of his door and jogged over to the passenger side.

"Wassup E," he said as he sat his bag down in the back seat. "Wassup bro you ready to show these niggas how to aim?" Erik said jokily as he drove off.

Erik cooked his AMT and aimed it at the head of the paper man all the way in the range and let multiple bullets fly from it giving him a slight rush. He adjusted his safety glasses and gripped the handle of the gun again before pulling the trigger but aiming at a different figure. Him and ace were both in their own little worlds before the ringtone from Erik's phone pulled him back down to earth, it caught aces attention too.

It was Israel.

Erik beamed down at the screen but Debated if he should answer it or not, he wanted to he really did but decided it would be best if he called her later since he could barely hear from all the gun shots being fired.

"Who was that? Got you smiling and shit..." ace asked with his eyebrows raised. Placing his gun down to face Erik. "Nigga why you so damn nosy?" Erik cut his eyes at him while blindly putting his phone back into his pocket.

"What you mean nigga? I'm just trying to see who making my dawg so happy is that a crime?" He said jokingly jerking his head back. Erik rolled his eyes.

"It's was one of my friends." Erik stated before grabbing his gun again trying to get off the topic. Ace put his hand out and pushed the gun down before he could pull the trigger.

"What friend? cause the last time i checked we had the same circle of friends?" Erik sigh getting annoyed with aces interrogation. Did he want to tell his best friend about Israel? Hell nah. Because he know his best friend and he knows he's going to go over bored and start doing the most with questions.

"You don't know her. Drop it nigga."

"Her? So you got a bitch or sumn'" Erik shock his head not even meaning to slip up and say anything. It was to late to take back now. "Nah she not my girl, we just been chilling." Erik shrugged, as he corrected him.

"Lemme see what she look like nigga how you know I don't know her?"

"Hell nah nigga stop being nosy-"

"Ok but if I had a bitch I would show you-"

"She not a bitch tho." Erik said sternly in their back and forth bickering. As annoyed as Erik was ace had a point and they both knew it. Ace talked to him about everything and if he was interested in a girl Erik would be the first to know about it. Erik put his gun on safety and sat it down before digging In his back pocket to grab his phone.

He scrolled through his camera until he found his favorite picture of Israel. It was one she sent to him not to long ago, her hair was wild with tiny ringlet coils. Her lips and mouth were stained red from the dumdum that hung from it. She had her white silk night gown on and a dainty rose flower necklace that hung between her collarbone.

Erik handed him the phone and watched as he brought his fist up to his mouth. "Nigga she fine as fuck damn where you find her at?"

"A party I went to not to long ago, she was shy as fuck she would barely talk to me." Erik chuckled taking his phone back to put it back in his pocket. "We been hanging out the last few weeks, she cool." Erik said nonchalantly to make it seem like he wasn't feeling shordy as much as he was. To someone like didn't know Erik as well as ace did he would've them really thinking he didn't like her and it wasn't a big deal but ace knew.

"You feeling her?" Ace asked facing Erik now, Erik shrugged.

"Like I said she cool."

"Mm." Was all ace said. Erik didn't need to answer, ace already knew the answer.

#black panther killmonger #erik killmonger #erik stevens fanfiction #erik stevens fic #erik x oc #killmonger x oc #killmonger fic #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger #killmonger imagine

[dreamiesdotcom]

rule #6 | l.dh

Summary: With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: hi, this is moon from somewhere august, scheduling this post before i chicken out again :D by the time it's posted, it's already Christmas so,,, merry christmas y'all who celebrate!!!! Lots of love!!!

Just like most things involving Donghyuck, falling in love with him isn't such a good idea.

That was way too sped up, though. The best way to start this story, of course, is from the very beginning— the day human migraine number one (a.k.a Jaemin) decided to bring in evil genius Huang Renjun to the circle. That would've been fine. It just so happened that beside him sat the devil incarnate, Lee Donghyuck, and that, well, is totally all four directions far away from what's acceptable.

Rule number one to surviving this life thing: Never trust cute boys with sunshine smiles and mischief in their eyes, a.k.a Donghyuck, or Haechan, whatever name he decided to go by. That's why when he reaches his hands out over the table to your direction, you quickly dismiss his attempt — "Hi! I haven't met you yet, did you skip first period? You're Y/N, ri—"

"Please never speak to me." was your reply then, and human migraine number two (a.k.a Chenle) laughs. Jaemin nags for the rest of the break, talking about manners and getting along. The fools nod alongside him. You grumble, moody for no reason and feeling particularly mean, but you warmly smile at Mark when he arrives at your table. Somewhere along the lines, you met stares with the new boy, and you give him an indifferent look.

Donghyuck took the nonchalance as a challenge.

###

The following weeks have been infuriating.

Rule #2: At all times, seek Lee Jeno's company. Unreliable as he seems when it comes to patience, the boy is quite reasonable sometimes.

Your windows align with the sweet-faced boy, your roofs almost touching — if you tried hard enough, you two could sit together, side by side, just like this. Cold wind blows, but it doesn't make you shiver. Jeno's warm, and maybe that's why you love cuddling with him so much. Maybe.

Just maybe, that could be the reason.

"I can't hear what you're saying," he slowly says, laughter seeping through his lips. You whine at that, moving away so he could see you and you could speak clearly. His hand remains holding your chin up, endearing in a soft way, but it doesn't wash away your frown. "What were you saying?"

You groan, "I said, he's so annoying! The audacity, Lee Jeno, he had the audacity to call me ba—"

Jeno watches you with tender eyes. Your heart softens, and you forget whatever next words you had to say. Maybe things will be okay? He's here, after all. Just right next door.

At least, something is going right.

###

This new boy, it seems, is appealing to many. During his first week, people have constantly trying to 'show him around', and that excuse doesn't die down until one month. From then on, people just keep following him around with "Good morning, Haechan!", "Goodbye, Haechan!" and "How was the weekends for you, Haechan-ssi?"

To be honest, it's something you had to grow used to even way before the showed up. Having Na Jaemin and Mark Lee from the Basketball team in your circle just really has a way of putting the spotlight on your lunch table. Not to mention, Renjun, Jeno, and Jisung, who despite being quiet, just has a certain charm to them — Jaemin's words, not yours. And oh, don't even get started on Chenle. That boy is a social butterfly.

The difference is that he keeps entertaining them, unlike the others who awkwardly laughs or just greets back — safe to say that sometimes, the 'goodness' of his heart gets in the way of your education and daily life. Times just like this.

Jisung's name shines brightly at the top of the list. You cling to the boy excitedly, pinching his cheeks and slightly bouncing on your heels, "You made it on the dance team, Sungie! Oh my God, oh my Go—"

"Y/N..." he drawls out, both hands resting on your shoulder as if to calm you down, but the excitement in his eyes betrays his intentions. On the other side, Renjun waves at you with the others. It makes you chuckle, and you motion for them come — that is, of course, until someone pushes you, almost sending you to the ground if not for Jisung catching you midfall.

The girl furrows her brows, "Move, you're blocking the way."

Your palms itch at that moment, and you couldn't believe just what you heard — the nerve!

"Where's your manners?" rings Donghyuck's voice from where he's slowly making way towards you with the others, a grimace on each of their faces. Attitude seeps from his gaze, the kind that would've made someone quiver. "Don't go around pushing people."

"Wh—"

"Stop." you clench your hands to fists, thanking Jisung before straightening up. Through gritted teeth, you calmly look at the girl with a scowl on her face. "Look, I'm sorry, but can you politely ask me to move next time? That's be appreciated, thank you."

After bidding the others a small smile, you turn around to make your way to the library. What? For peace? For space? Just to be as far away from the boy following you right now as possible? You don't even know at this point. You feel like your celebration is ruined and all you want is distance from the person you dislike the most — to be honest, you don't know anything about him aside from the fact that he's Lee Donghyuck and that he's annoying, and that you automatically hate him. You don't plan on knowing more. That's why before entering the library, you turn around to face him with a solemn look.

"Thank you." he halts in shock. His smile widens, but you look at him with the same seriousness in your face. "But don't do it again. I don't need saving, Lee Donghyuck."

Later that night, you grit your teeth as you write down another rule: Say your gratitude but don't get used to the way he saves you. You're not a damsel. Just hand the goddamn sword or you'll be fine with your fists — maybe your eyes for daggers, too.

####

Rule #3: Never go to him for comfort.

22nd of April, 10:35 p.m. You close your eyes and wait. The clock hits eleven and you open the door for the others, greeting everyone with a cheerful smile. "Where's Jaemin?"

Mark shrugs, "Said he has an essay. He'll be late for a bit, but he'll make it before 12."

23rd of April, 12:00 a.m, your heartbeat races. Everything's all set, everyone's in the living room. You take out your phone with a giggle, typing out 'Happy Birthday, dummy!!!' with the biggest grin on your face. Jisung judges you slightly, but he quickly forgets it when a taunting yell from Renjun comes. You sit in the kitchen, staring at the delicately decorated cake, and you wait.

One hour turns to two, then three. Your smile fades slightly, and you check your phone for replies. When nothing comes, you click over his contact shakily.

To: Star <3

Happy Birthday, dummy!!!

Hey, Jen? You're one door away from me and yet you're an hour late.

Birthday boy, you're not ditching us on your own celebration, aren't ya?

When are you coming over ;-;

From: Star <3

I'm sorry!!!

Sorry but I'll be late!

Jaeminnie really needs my help with something.

We'll be there! I'm sorry, Y/N

Your smile disappears. Sullenly making your way to the living room, you count your steps to keep your ground. You look at the others in front of you with a smile, "Go start the movie, I'll wait for Jeno and Jaemin outside. Deal?"

"Sure." Chenle chirps, his grin never fading. Must be because of cheating his way through besting Jisung, Donghyuck, Mark, and Renjun at Monopoly for the past three hours, probably ruining their friendship. Oblivious to the world, Renjun grumbles something about Jeno never being punctual, that he'd pray that trait onto him as a birthday gift. You glance at them before heading back outside, sitting down outside your door, head in between your knees.

A tear. Maybe two. Is this how heartbreak feels like? The kind of crying where you can't even make a sound because people could hear, but then even your teardrops seem to be so loud.

The door opens and you put your head up, hurriedly wiping them away. You put on your best smile until Donghyuck occupies the space beside you. He hands you a handkerchief.

"Don't," he whispers when you obviously hold down a sob, and he leans you on his chest. You cry freely there — you don't know why you let him of all people, but all you know was that you couldn't think straight; desperation blooms on your chest like fresh flowers die over time, and he doesn't judge. He just holds you — no cheesy pet name, no flirty looks, no catch. Just someone to be with.

At 4 a.m with Lee Donghyuck, the starless sky and the moon all alone looks a little less lonely. In front of you, the sun begins to rise.

##

Rule #4: Aaaaand if you don't follow the preceding rule, then, you're fucked. This is your mess. Good luck, you're alone on this one.

After Jeno's birthday (and after he made up to you, he spent a month doing that.) something just begins to change. A pleasant shift, according to Mark.

From that day, something in you says that maybe, just maybe, he's not so bad and you were just unfair to him. This realization must be something brought by time; slowly, you got used to Renjun and Hyuck being a part of your circle. These tutoring sessions must be a factor as well, judging how to two get to spend time alone in the same table as you can't possibly study with the others around you.

Donghyuck would do anything to evade mathematics, though. At least that's what it looks like right now, as he doodles around the margins instead of solving the problems, and then opens a topic, "Nana and Jisung looks cute together. Should've known they wouldn't be serious with each other, him and Jeno."

You roll your eyes, but not the way you did back then. It's way softer, much more affectionate. "It's been a year, let them be."

"So what? It's only been a year." he seems really determined to waste time. He even makes a show of briefly making eye contact before pouting at the paper, "You and Jeno still pretend to be just friends, but the whole school's just waiting for you two to kiss."

You chuckle, "We don't."

"You do."

"Used to." you correct. You look over to the other table, Jaemin and Jeno throwing a banter while Jisung begs them to stop before Renjun smacks them all with a book. You gaze down the notes you're studying before shrugging, "Things change."

"Example?" he tentatively asks, absentmindedly tracing the letters and numbers scattered around his notebook. You rest your chin on your palm.

"Well, now, I might like you." because honestly, you do. He's a great company, although sometimes overwhelming and annoying. Especially that most of the time when he's with Jaemin, they brew the worst ideas together and it's pretty much storm from there.

It would be a lie to say that it's not one of the things that makes you feel warm, slowly growing fond. Your voice softens as he tilts up to meet your gaze, and you flash him a saccharine smile. "Soon, it might not be because you're my friend."

Things like this make you feel like you've missed everything with Jeno, all the things you both could've had; it's like you should've been like this. It's like you should've been holding hands, or walking down the streets, or sitting on a rooftop and asking for a kiss. The kind that would send a rush of energy on your veins, shaking you back to life, losing you to the dream that is the way his lips move against you. But best friends don't do that, so you don't.

Hyuck is not Jeno, though. He's not your best friend.

With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

###

Rule #5: Well, seems like you can't back out now. Love him. Love him so much that the sunshine in his eyes never fades.

"Why are we celebrating Mark's last day in town?" Donghyuck sits down in the living room, looking around at the place — balloons, snacks, a cake, everyone in your friend group. He sets down his gift, "Are we that glad that he's leaving?"

Mark huffs, "You'd fucking cry once you miss me and I'm cities away, Lee Donghyuck."

"I won't miss you because I'm coming over to your dorm every day and I'm dragging everyone with me." Donghyuck smiles and even when Mark shoves him a little at that, everyone knows that he's happy the younger said that. He flashes his sly smile, "You, however... ah, what do we do? Mark might miss me so much he fails three subjects."

Everyone cackles at that, and Mark only raises his arms at surrender, saying something about not joking like that because he's honestly 'terrified to start hell', wanting to just stay here and finish school with all of you, ranting about how troublesome it is to transfer. You lean back on your loveseat, lightly kicking Hyuck's feet. "What?"

"You talk like this but you'd sulk tomorrow, wouldn't you?" You taunt, snickering. "This is false advertising."

Donghyuck gapes as the others fall over laughing. "Oi, are you trying to help me fill out all the ten reasons I hate you?"

"You have only ten for me?" you add, and for some reason, that makes the others laugh harder. "I have a hundred for you, Hyuckie."

"I could write you thousands—"

Jeno scrunches his face, hands moving to cover Donghyuck's mouth. "Just please go kiss each other."

Donghyuck tears away from his hold, rolls his eyes, and waves goodbye. He tugs you away from Jaemin and then leads you upstairs, but not before one last banter with Jeno, who, in his all confused expression, tilts his head in question, "Ya, where are you going?"

"I'm not kissing Y/N in front of you fools."

And true to his word, that's what he does.

Donghyuck smiles like the world is kind, like unending unconditional love, without boundaries nor fears. He kisses like that, too, passionate and deep. He does it like it's the end of the world, as if it's the only thing he wants to do. He does it like he's thanking every single thing that led him up to this moment. He kissed you under those stars in his balcony, a hand warm on your waist with the other softly caressing your jaw, and it seemed like it lasted forever.

Because that's the truth. The last time never feels like the last time. There had to be more to this than what the skies have laid down.

Inside your dreamy little mind, Donghyuck was eternal and the love you shared was forever. That's what happened. You thought you had forever.

You thought you had forever, but you didn't.

###

Rule #6: But that won't make him stay if he's bound to leave. Accept that and love him, still. Love him through the rain.

"Lee Jeno tripped!" yells Chenle's loud voice, gaining the attention of everybody in the room, "And fell in love with Y/N, totally whipped that they can't even shop separately!"

"Hell, Chenle, where's your mute button?" Renjun hissed, "We gotta buy presents too. Who decided to do this so late, though? It's the 24th! You guys should've done it weeks ago!"

"Let's go?" Jeno asks, blatantly ignoring Renjun as he waits for you to take his hands. You smirk, waving the folded paper to the others after entwining fingers with him.

"Bye, losers! See y'all later~" you wink. Before being dragged out the Cafe, you point at your friends' direction "Whoever had my name better give me a decent gift, or Christmas is cancelled!"

"Baby, stop that," he asks, squeezing your hands to make you calm down. Your laugh even louder. He smiles, "Who did you get?"

"Hey, Lee, you don't get special treatment just because I'm dating you. It's a secret." you roll your eyes, a skip in your step even though the weather is cold. Jeno steals a peck on your cheeks, and your eyes widen. "Lee Jeno!"

Before you could even catch him, he's already running away from you, and you're almost falling over laughing as you try to catch up to him. He meets you at the end, in front of a busy mall, and catches you with a hug. You laugh on his chest, warm against his hold.

If memories come washing over you, no one has to know. Jeno looks lovely against white. He feels like art on a Christmas day, so beautiful and warm and special. That's all that matters.

"We agreed that we wouldn't try..." Donghyuck whispers, arms around you, "if things will get too harsh on the other, didn't we?"

"Yeah... if I was to leave, Hyuck, I don't want you waiting on me." you responded, half-asleep and sincere, "But I'm only saying it because I'm not leaving."

Donghyuck laughed, "Well, just making sure that if that happens, we'll meet again, yeah?"

"Hyuck, shut up. Nobody's leaving." you groaned, stirring at the joyful yelling downstairs. "Looks like it's 12 already. Merry Christmas, baby."

"Mhm, Merry Christmas. I love you." He smiles, leaves a slow, gentle kiss on your lips. "I love you. I'll love you even more this year."

Does moving away without a word count as loving someone more than you did the past year?

"You're spacing out." Jeno smiles, "Am I that handsome?"

"You always are. Stunning." you quickly reply, a little guilty. You enter the busy room and part ways so that you could shop for your gifts, but not before deciding on a meeting point and leaving a sweet, loving kiss. "Come back, yeah?"

"Of course." he nods before parting ways. Your heart remains at peace — as planned, at the end of the day, Jeno would come back to you at the entrance. He won't leave like the other did. He won't do that to you...

Two hours before Christmas, you sit down on your own for a bit, occasionally distracted by the noise. At their loudness, you can make out Mark trying to calm everybody down, Jaemin threatening murder to keep Jisung and Mark away from the kitchen, Jeno convincing Chenle to get a dog. As you write down their yearly letters, you can't get rid of the smile on your face.

Why they decided to spend this holiday at yours, you don't really understand. Can't say you're against it, though. It's perfect; the tree all of you built together, the presents, the games you'll spend the night playing. The friendship.

Only that someone's missing. As if to lessen the pain, you write his name down on the paper — except it's not a new one, but rather, the page you've been foolishly writing your rules on; the rules that never stood a chance to save you. You trace your hands over the words, but you quickly shake nostalgia away as you turn the page over.

Hello, Donghyuck-ah!

You know the drill. For some time, you received some of my letters, didn't you? After all, we spent some years together... as enemies, as friends, as lovers. You probably memorized how it goes: I'll dwell on the year, I'll tell you how I chose your gift, I'll try to say how much I adore you, and then I'll thank you for being here.

Unfortunately this time, I can't tell you how our year went... I didn't spend it with you. I wasn't able to get you a gift, too, because I don't know if your preferences changed. And I can't thank you for being here. I can't because you're not.

Though I could still tell you that I love you, now it's kind of different. It's less of something that desperately needs you, and more of the kind that longs for you. Jeno and I got together at last. It's complicated how we happened, but we gave it a try and... just. That. You won't read this, but I still want you to know... even if this will never reach you.

Remember that we said that we'll meet again? Well, where are you? Are you happy? How's life been, miles away from home, from your friends, Hyuck-ah?

Merry Christmas. I hope you're happy.

I hope you are, of course, I do. I want you to be happy, I do. I can't wish for anything more — I want you to be happy... just that I hope you're sad sometimes, too, just like me... because of me. I want your heart to break sometimes too. I want you to cry sometimes too. In those empty spaces, I want you to remember me.

And I know you won't do any of that, but in my twisted imagination, you do. And you are.

You're the happiest you could be, but not that much — not happy enough that you'd forget me.

#nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #lee donghyuck #haechan #lee jeno #nct fanfic #nct christmas au #nct dream x reader #nct dream timestamps #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream reactions #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 reaction #nct 127 scenarios #nct au #nct u scenarios #haechan x reader #haechan scenarios #haechan angst #nct angst #merry Christmas y'all:D

[tsipasce]

Same Difference Ch.16

Her back ached as she hunched over her keyboard, only moving to grab the odd paper and examine it. Straightening up for the first time in hours she glanced at the clock on the wall that read 10:45pm, realizing she'd neglected two out of three meals today. Once Overhaul had left, she decided to catch up on paperwork and hadn't gotten up since, except to go to the bathroom and grab a glass of water. On her visit to the fridge, she was unsurprised to find nothing but water and condiments. Of all the ways to be a normal bachelor, he chooses this one… she bemoaned, trying to formulate a dinner strategy while on house arrest. After a beat, she made a couple calls,confident she'd found a loophole.

An hour or so later, the smell of lemon and herbs filled the kitchen as she checked between dishes. After going through her mental list of recipes, she decided chicken picatta with a side of rice would be easiest while also sating her growing hunger. Smelling the sauce, she grabbed a spoon to gauge if the seasoning was up to snuff. Closing her eyes, she considered the flavor.

"What are you doing?"

"Aggh!" She clutched her chest, almost choking on the sauce. Catching her breath, she shot him a ghastly look before continuing, "I know this is your house and all, but could you please not use the ~hitman stealth~ walk while I'm here?"

"No. You should just be more alert. Now answer my question: what are you doing?"

"Ah, well I know by your sad fridge you may not be familiar with the concept, but this is called 'cooking'." She piped in her best kindergarten teacher voice.

"Do not start with me tonight." He looked genuinely angry as he took a step forward, "Where did you get the ingredients? I specifically asked you not to leave and yo—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out, Joe Goldberg, I stayed in the box. "

"What?"

"Ugh, if you watched TV like a normal person that would have been a great joke—anyway, what I'm saying is I didn't leave."

"Elaborate."

"Well it's this show about a guy who traps a gi—"

"Dammit I mean about how you got the ingredients without leaving."

"Oh yes, well I texted Kurono to call one of the guys who then called another dude who ordered it on Mostpates who then went back through the chain of communication until it was delivered to the door by one of your subordinates—with whom I had zero contact with—and now here I am. Still very much isolated from the outside world. Happy?"

He paused, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he towered over her. She deadpanned back until he relented, rolling his eyes and sighing; irritated with her consistent sass, but relieved Nanami was safe. Relieved a valuable ally was uncompromised, he sternly corrected as though to convince himself. Try as he may, the frequency of his little "unprofessional slips" when it came to her kept increasing. He reasoned that introducing her to Pop—the Boss, was simply strategic and necessary as she became more involved in their organization. These faux pas where he'd praise her behind her back to the Boss during their weekly dinners or lapse into these fantasies, he wouldn't dare speak aloud were merely obstacles he'd need to overcome. At some point. She's just an ally. He lied to himself yet again, before addressing her, "Don't do that without informing me first next time."

"Yes s— I mean, you bet." She said nervously clearing her throat before turning back to the stove. She would've continued indulging in her favorite pastime of getting on his nerves, but decided not to after getting a good look at him in the light. He looked tired and her sympathy won out over her need to continue poking the bear. Deciding it would be more sensible to make nice with her new roommate, she took a chance. "You know, I made a lot more than I was expecting if you wan—"

"I don't need anything from you," he reflexively shot back.

"Fine. Suit yourself." she shrugged turning back to the stove. One step forward, fifteen steps back. What do I even expect?

*grooowwwlll*

Her head slowly swiveled to him; her brows raised. She took the sauce off the heat, drizzling the aromatic cream over the steaming rice and herb-crusted chicken. She confidently maintained eye contact for dramatic effect, though she was quite surprised she didn't spill anything. A staring contest ensued, though they both knew the winner was the one who already possessed the literal chicken dinner. "Care to rethink your answer?"

"… If I get food poisoning it'll be your end." He acquiesced.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just hurry before it gets cold."

They sat down at the table across from each other, setting their places. Forgetting to get utensils, Nanami got back up and headed to the kitchen to retrieve them. "You can start without me, I forgot something," she said with her back turned as she found the drawer she was looking for. Looking at the pans, she decided it would be much less of a pain to put them in the sink now instead of after her self-induced food coma. As she reached for the pan, she heard a faint rustling and a hushed "Thanks for the food" coming from the table. She went wide-eyed for a split second at the realization, Well, guess you can't eat through a mask… gulping at the thought of finally seeing his face, she shooed the feelings away as mere curiosity, to no avail. Suddenly it felt too nerve-wracking to turn around as she continued to overthink, her utensils having been found long ago.

"If you leave your plate out any longer, I'm going to throw it away."

"What? That makes zero sen—" she turned to reflexively bicker but stopped short. After seeing someone masked for so long it felt strangely intimate to see his face. He was still facing forward, calmly devouring the meal as she studied his profile, his features catching the warm light above the dining table. Nanami hadn't known what she'd expected to see, but it wasn't this. It might have been less surprising if he had some maniacal countenance or monstrous face, but he just looked… Normal… Normal…and really fucking cute. Shit. Her conflicted look of disgust with herself and fascination with him was promptly misinterpreted as he turned to see why she'd stopped grimaced back at her as she continued her appraisal, finding his full expressions, instead of just eyes, to still be a jarring sight.

"Do you have something to say?"

"N-No, just getting some eating sticks! I mean utensils. Eating. Utensils." She cleared her throat, exuding awkwardness.

"…Right."

Exhaling, she hurriedly made her way back to the table, trying to carry on normally. She began eating, her hunger taking her mind off the previous blunder. Looking up to grab the pitcher of water to refill her glass, she inadvertently caught his gaze. Certain this would be a rare occurrence, she decided if she wanted to gawk, it would have to be now. Today she'd gotten a face and a name, and suddenly he seemed a lot more… human.

"You have a staring problem, and I'm going to fix it in a very unpleasant way if you don't stop."

Nevermind. "Says the guy that's blinked all of 3 times in the past 4 months." She scoffed," I don't have a 'staring problem,' I was just… surprised to see your face is all."

He paused before continuing eating, but she could tell he was still thinking, "… what's surprising about it?"

Now able to fully evaluate his expressions, Nanami could tell he was a mixture of indignant, but curious. I can work with that. "Hm? Oh nothing, nothing at all… Except…" she leaned forward across the table, her eyes heavy-lidded as they travelled from his eyes to his mouth, committing the pleasant features to memory.

He was focused now. "Except?" the word came out softer than intended, as she was close enough for him to catch the scent of lavender, the t-shirt she wore forming an almost dangerously revealing dip as she leaned forward. His jaw clenched as he fought to maintain eye contact, trying not to blatantly appreciate her suggestive positioning. The walls of the room felt as though they were shifting closer together as he waited with bated breath for her answer, or action.

"Except…You have rice on it," she tapped on her own face to show him where, grinning at his look of exasperation as she plopped back down to finish her last bite of food, missing how he briefly deflated. "So, how was it?"

"I don't feel any early signs of food poisoning," he began "but we'll see how the rest of the night goes."

Now feeling the sleepiness beginning to take over, she was too tired to give a quality retort. Sighing, she got up, grabbing her dish as she made her way back to the kitchen to clean up, the day finally catching up to her. She placed her dish in the sink and began searching for the gloves to start washing. Before she could locate them, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Move."

"Really? I share my food and then you insult it—surprise, surprise—and now I can't even clean up in peace" She began, but stopped as she turned to see him, his hands already clad in the yellow latex. His face was expressionless as he moved in her place and began tidying up. Taking it as her cue to leave, she dragged herself to her room to get ready for bed before he called back to her.

"Thank you for the food. It wasn't bad at all." He said, his back still turned as he continued cleaning.

She stopped, a half-smile appearing on her face as she could see he was trying to make nice, though he was obviously still not used to it, "…You're welcome. Hey, Overhaul?"

"Yes?"

"You should get some rest."

"Don't need it. Per our conversation earlier, I have unlimited stamina."

"Sure, but you can't overhaul your mind, now can you?"

"Ok, Dr. Phil." He mocked and her eyes shot wide. Before she could respond he continued, "And no, I will not answer further questions about that reference or how I know it. Goodnight."

Stifling a laugh, she turned to walk back to her room, "Goodnight."

The next week went by without incident and they began to form a routine. At 5:30 they'd get up to get ready for their jog. Nanami could tell she was on schedule by the sound of footsteps and water running next door that mirrored her own. Once finished, they'd convene in the front room, put on their shoes and head outside to stretch. Very few words if any were spoken, but Nanami enjoyed the comfortable silence. At work it was always expected that she'd be overtly personable and chatty, but she knew he had no such expectations. She could zone out and just exist and that was alrigh—

"Ahem", he cleared his throat as he waited expectantly for her to start their morning run. His hands bare for the first time in ages as one of his subordinates ordered the wrong brand, and he swore he'd break into hives if he used them. Both of them were sure they wouldn't need to touch any public surfaces on their run so the rarity of the occasion was dismissed.

"Oops, coming."

Without another word they began, Nanami putting her headphones in. After their third run, he was satisfied that he could handle an ambush as they gathered more intel about the Okamura, and she could indulge in her music while they ran. One of her favorite songs came on and she began stepping to the rhythm as her shoulders started to roll and her head bobbed to the beat, soon after she began mouthing the words.

"Every time I comb my hair

Thoughts of you get in my eyes

You're a sinner, I don't care

I just want your creamy thighs"

All the while she didn't realize her erratic movements and lip-syncing had caught Overhaul's attention as he watched from the corner of his eye. A few months ago, he wouldn't have been able to stomach the thought of sharing his home and free time with someone else without breaking out in hives, but now it felt… comfortable. It was comforting to come home to someone, to work with them and not be annoyed to the point of homicide (for him it was more rare than most), it was comforting knowing that someone was her.

She looked so carefree, so happy in the midst of everything while he felt the weight of the world had made permanent indentions on his shoulders. She didn't fit in this world; she didn't belong here. Or to anyone. The thought crossing his mind bitterly as his inner monologue took a familiar, pessimistic turn. Just looking at her brought that sickening warmth to his chest he coveted but didn't recognize as something he was capable of… that is until a couple of months ago. Now he found it showing up more and more, clouding his judgment. It was distracting. He had an objective and she was an important variable in achieving said objective—nothing more. How dare she make him... feel or even question if he was able to. It was disgusting.

Now able to recognize the feeling of being silently judged by him, Nanami looked up to meet his gaze. "Weren't you just lecturing me the other day about having a 'staring problem'?"

"I'm not staring, I'm just wondering why you're carrying on like this in public."

"Pssh, enjoying music—the great music of the illustrious Prince, nonetheless—is totally grounds for 'carrying on in public.' Being carefree every now and again isn't a sin, you know."

"There are enough frivolous people in the world. Why should I have to indulge them?"

"You call it frivolous; I call it taking happy moments when they come. You should just let people enjoy things and stop being such a stick in the mud. You never know, maybe you'll do something ~*wild*~ like enjoy yourself for once."

"Not all of us have the luxury of being empty-headed and self-indulgent."

At this she stopped running, the words sounding more like a personal attack than broad commentary. "What, so I'm a careless idiot just because I don't brood about my self-induced problems all the time?"

Their similarities began to surface as he took her comment in like fashion, both of them now offended at scenarios they'd created in their own heads. "'Self-induced'? You know nothing about my perceived 'problems' or how they came about. Nothing." His irritation quickly morphed into anger the more he thought about the implication that he'd chosen this life.

"And you don't know anything about my problems either. Just because I choose to be happy every blue moon and my issues usually don't involve me snuffing people out on the regular doesn't mean they aren't also really shitty."

"Oh, so you accidently blow up one kid and now it's a trauma you get to use as a crutch?"

Upon saying this, her posture straightened, and she looked at him evenly, a cold rage emanating from her. "So, you think that's all there is to me? I'm just some spoiled brat who's always had her way and now that I'm exposed to your big, scary reality, my little traumas don't compare? My tender little world is being shattered by the brutality and violence of your 'real' one? If anything is self-indulgent it's your narcissistic assumption that you're sob story is somehow worse than everyone else's" she said, venom dripping from her words.

He hadn't seen her like this before. They say when telling a person's age, that wrinkles and proportions are the best tells. In truth, there's a certain "look" that begins to form over time, one's experiences flash behind their eyes, an amalgamation of memories; they've seen things, their innocence eroding with every visage adding years to even the most verdant skin. As Nanami spoke, he saw an age in her eyes that didn't match her face. There was a certainty in her gaze that only came from seeing the grotesque with one's own eyes and deciding to keep looking. Her words were telling, but her stare was what filled the pages of the novel being written between them. Ever obsessed with purity, he assumed he'd be repulsed by the revelation, but it only made her seem closer. Her presumed naivety that he thought separated them was being chipped away. He wanted to know more, to become closer.

He was entranced as she seemingly riled herself up, "I've been through more than you could ev—" She stopped short, shaking her head as she bit her lip, looking off into the distance at something only she could see.

"What do you mean?" He coaxed her to finish her thought, now hopeful.

"No. I think I've told you enough. You've made your judgment and I'll have to live with the fact that I made a mistake, as will you."

"What? This conversation isn't ov—"

"You don't get to decide that," she snapped. "I'm heading back, and I suggest you take the long way around."

A grave look came across his face at being commanded, "That's not how this works, and you will not cut me off again, or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" She was back in his face, a familiar defiance in her eyes. If she was poking the bear before, this was an entire stabbing.

"You don't want this." He warned.

"You have no idea what I want."

As things boiled over, they were much too close, a static in the air building between them, fingers pointed as they continued to argue. They were ultimately too close, for no more than a millisecond, but that small error was all it took for the reaction that followed. In that brief moment, they made contact, a blast followed that sent them both flying in opposite directions. Nanami hit one of the walls that lined the streets with a sickening thud. She slumped, unconscious, a stream of red dying her silver hair.

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