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writer-room · 3 years

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Siblings: Chapter Four

AO3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Summary: The Bats reflect on how their thoughts about siblings have changed over the years. Some opinions stayed, others didn't.

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Tim didn’t know how to feel about being an only child.

He didn’t think about it all that often, there weren’t many kids he talked to at school who mentioned their siblings all that frequently. And, in some parts, he didn’t mind it so much.

The kids who did talk about siblings complained, whether their siblings were older or younger. There were those who said their sibling took up more of their parents attention, which was something Tim was already lacking in. Some said that they never had any time to themselves, something that Tim had an overabundance in, but still cherished. Others said that the accomplishments, and failures, of their siblings reflected onto them, making their parents expect more or less of them. Tim couldn’t afford that either. His parents already didn’t think much of him, he didn’t need it to be any less. And if they wanted more, he worried he wouldn’t be able to meet their expectations.

And yet…

Sometimes he liked the idea of someone else in that empty mansion. Someone to talk to when the rooms felt too large, when the loneliness was suffocating him. He liked the thought of sharing his recent theories, photos, and the like with someone. Wondered if he could go on for as long as he wanted without being interrupted.

Maybe they’d be someone who didn’t call him by a name that wasn’t his, then feign forgetting. Who didn’t treat his binders like they were assaulting their eyes. Who didn’t scrutinize his every movement for faking.

That’d be nice, he thinks.

But there were pros and cons, he reasons. And for all he knows, if he had a sibling, they could’ve been just like his parents. Or they could’ve been kinder. Not like he’d ever know.

He had more important things to worry about than hypotheticals and wishes.

“Before you scold me, know that I took a five hour nap earlier today and I’m only getting a snack.”

Steph and Duke blinked at him from the doorway to the kitchen, their expressions a sharp contrast between exasperated and concerned, respectively.

“Wow, five hours?” Steph snarked. “That’s a new record. Are you dying?”

“Not yet,” Tim said, opening the fridge. “Give it a few weeks and I’m sure you’ll see rumors of my tragic defeat at the hands of, I dunno, Flamingo.”

“There’s a supervillain named Flamingo?” Duke exclaimed, staring at Steph incredulously.

“Oh, yeah, it’s a whole thing.” She nodded. “He had a scuffle with Jay and his kid a while back.”

“Jason has a kid?”

“Why are you up, anyway?” Tim talked right over him. “Duke I understand, he’s the disgraced child of the sun. But you patrol at the same time as every other nocturnal person in this house.”

“Hey-”

“I actually had to pretend to have a normal sleep schedule, my mom was getting worried and I didn’t want her finding me sneaking in with my full Spoiler getup on.” Steph explained tiredly. “I’m still trying to recover.”

“Tragic,” Tim hummed, pulling out a container holding a ham sandwich.

“The only thing that's tragic is your outfit.” Steph snorted, looking him up and down.

Tim blinked, looking down at himself. His outfit consisted of a pair of knockoff Batman shorts, knee-high pastel dinosaur socks, and a long red robe that absolutely did not belong to him hanging loosely off him, exposing countless scars littering his body.

“I look awesome,” Tim said, popping the lid off the container.

“Damian’s gonna start asking what battles you got your scars from again,” Steph tutted, striding further into the kitchen with a confused Duke following her. “Know that I will not be on your side when Dick notices and gets worried.”

“I’m more worried about Dami seeing this one,” He said, brushing the robe back slightly to reveal a poorly stitched surgical scar on his upper abdomen. “Because then he’s going to ask what happened, and then I’m gonna have to tell him that's where my spleen used to be, and then he's going to be reminded that oh, yeah, his brother has a missing spleen, and then he’s going to be treating everything like its diseased-”

“Does...he keep forgetting you lost your spleen?” Duke blinked, concerned. “I feel like that’d be something you were kinda always aware of…”

“Eh, everyone's worried about a different scar whenever they see ‘em.” He shrugged, glancing down as he traced over one of the surgery scars along his chest. “Which is frankly a little rude. I earned this right to be shirt free.”

“Hell yeah you did,” Steph grinned before her eyes dropped to the sandwich Tim was attempting to eat. “Isn’t that Cullen’s?”

“He didn’t label it, therefore it’s mine.” Tim said simply.

“Harper’s gonna kill you,” Duke warned warily.

“Only if she catches me,” He said, taking a bite of the sandwich. “Why’re you guys here, anyway? Grabbing a snack?”

“Lookin’ for Babs,” Steph said, hands in her pockets. “Someone on Twitter started a war about which Batgirl was better, and Babs will probably get a kick out of being remembered as the ‘missing Batgirl.’”

“Oh she’ll be pissed about being remembered that way.” Tim agreed, shoving the rest of the sandwich in his mouth. “Babs will see it in five minutes or less, though. Swear she has a sixth sense for whenever someone mildly associated with the Bats is mentioned.” He mumbled.

“You wanna hijack the thread before she finds it?” He suggested.

“Hijack it?” Duke echoed.

“We’re gonna yell about random stuff that doesn’t contribute to the conversation until all hell breaks loose.” Steph explained, already pulling out her phone. “Tim?”

“How do you feel about discussing why the sun lightens hair, but darkens skin?” Tim suggested, leaving the container on the counter as he brushed by Steph.

“You just want to piss off someone from Metropolis.”

“It’s law as a Bat that I have to torment Superman whenever I possibly can.” Tim shrugged.

“Does that include me?” Duke blinked. “Because I personally think tormenting Superman is a bad idea.”

“Clark wouldn’t hurt a fly,”

“Yeah, but he’ll give me the face of disappointment and I don’t think I can live with that.” Duke protested.

“He can barely even manage--where are you going?” Steph looked up, only now realizing Tim was leaving the kitchen.

“I’m starting the mayhem on the big screens.” Tim grinned, looking back over his shoulder.

“Please don’t tell me he’s going to use Twitter on the bat computer,” Duke sighed.

“He’s totally going to use the bat computer,” Steph smiled, following after him. “C’mon! It’s initiation time.”

“Do you guys just call every weird thing you do initiation?” Duke called, hurrying behind them. “Because I’ve been told I’m part of an initiation five times in the last week.”

“You’re stuck in initiation until this becomes the norm,” Steph said cheerfully.

“Of course,” Duke muttered.

Tim’s robe billowed behind him like an amateur cape as he wandered towards the door leading towards the steps into the Batcave. He threw open the door, the sound of it slamming echoing and startling the bats on the ceiling.

“Jesus!”

Harper jumped from the swivel chair in front of the computer, wide-eyed as she blinked up at the trio at the top of the stairs.

“Hey, Harps,” Steph greeted, hopping onto the stairs railing and sliding down. “We’re here to cause problems on Twitter.”

“Oh, well, in that case, by all means.” Harper snarked, getting up and grandly gesturing to the countless screens. “Not like I was using it for actual work.”

“Were you using it?” Tim asked, pointedly glaring at Steph to keep his recent adventure to the kitchen quiet.

“...looking for tasers to modify count as work, right?” She said after a moment.

“Technically,” Tim nodded, ignoring Steph’s smug look that absolutely signified she was going to blackmail him later. “But you can just use Dick’s old escrima sticks. He goes through a pair every two or three weeks, but most still work pretty well, he’s just too lazy to fix them.”

“Sweet,” Harper grinned. She then paused, taking in Tim’s appearance as he slid into the seat she was previously occupying.

“Why do you look like you’re auditioning to be the pretty girl who dies in a low-budget slasher?”

“First of all, how dare you assume I wouldn’t be the first one to die for representation points,” Tim said, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Second of all, it’s called having fashion, and also being allowed to do whatever I want.”

“You have terrible fashion sense,” Harper snorted, crossing her arms as Steph and Duke came up beside her. “But fair, I can respect that.”

“See?” Tim said, looking at Steph. “Some people can afford to not be rude.”

“Keep talking and I’ll lose more blackmail material,” Steph calmly threatened.

Harper glanced between the two, to which Tim quietly, and quickly, turned back to the screen and ignored the both of them. Harper raised a brow but didn’t comment. Tim made a mental note to sneak into one of Jason’s unused safe houses after this was over. Steph couldn’t keep quiet for the life of her.

“What are you starting, anyway?” Harper asked, crossing her arms and leaning on the back of Tim’s chair. “A sob story about the Opportunity rover?”

“Another day,” Tim promised, opening up Twitter on the countless screens. He opened another one on the other half of the computer, which Steph quickly stood at and got her own Twitter set up. “Right now, we’re questioning how the sun makes hair lighter, but skin darker. And we’re dragging Clark into it.”

“If anyone asks, I had no part in this.” Duke said, watching the two typing with a frown. “Initiation doesn't include learning how to taunt Superman, right?”

“Eh, we can settle for you becoming close with a Kryptonian,” Steph shrugged. “Dick and Bruce share Clark, Jay’s got Bizarro, Cass and I got Kara, Babs I think counts with her, too, Damian’s got Jon, and Tim has Kon.” She listed off. “Harper and Cullen took the ‘bully Superman’ route without befriending any of his family, which is a coward's way out, so you can take, I dunno, does Chris still exist in this timeline?”

“I can call in a favor from Bart to reset the timeline again so he exists.” Tim said with a casual shrug, pulling up the thread arguing about the Batgirls.

“I’m sorry, what--”

“Finding Kryptonians who aren’t already taken is hard!” Harper protested, talking over Duke. “And Clark likes you guys being friends with his family. The only issue he has is Damian getting testy and Tim making heart eyes at Kon every five minutes.”

“I do not!” Tim squawked, whirling around in the chair to glare at the traitors he dared call family. In his head. Family in his head.

“You do,” Steph and Harper chorused.

“I’ve met Kon for less than twenty minutes and even I know.” Harper added. “I’m sure Duke knew.”

“I...yeah…” Duke coughed into his fist and turned away. “But in my defense, the gossip around here is practically shouted down the halls twice a week.”

“You were subjected to Dick having another crisis about Jay dating Kory for two months, weren’t you?” Steph said, trying to hide a snicker.

“There were so many things I didn’t want to know,” Duke whispered, face horror-stricken.

“Eh, at least Jay hasn’t brought up Talia around Dami yet.” Tim shrugged. “At that point, it’s better to just vacate the premises.”

“Wait--”

“Point is, you either befriend the Kryptonian or you torment them. That’s the rules.” Tim talked over him again, scrolling down the thread and boredly looking over the arguments. “You ready, Steph?”

“As I’ll ever be,” She grinned, giving a thumbs up. “How long till Babs notices and takes this whole thing down?”

“Few more minutes, tops.” Tim shrugged, already typing. “You two wanna give any input?” He asked, glancing behind him to Harper and Duke.

“Ask if Kryptonian skin can be used as extreme sunscreen,” Harper suggested. “That’ll rile him up.”

“Now I’m just curious if it can,” Tim said, but obediently began making his comment.

“You could just...ask?” Duke tried, clearly not taking in any of what was happening.

“Nah, Kon’s half human, I don’t think it works the exact same.” Tim shook his head, not looking back. “Kara would destroy me if I tried, Bizarro has the same problem, Jon wouldn’t know, and Clark would start telling Bruce he’s worried I’m deranged again.”

“Aren’t you?” Duke raised a brow.

“Only if I feel like it,”

“And when he forgets to sleep for ninety-eight hours.” Steph spoke up.

Tim rolled his eyes, tuning out his siblings as they continued to talk. He posted his comment before sparing a peek back at them, currently throwing off ideas to their hijacking plan like it was an everyday occurrence. Well, to Steph and Harper at least. But, to Duke’s credit, he appeared to be getting more used to it on prodding from his...sisters? Hard to tell, Steph was her own classification of family member. They were some weird choices for family, at least.

Tim watched them for a moment before turning back to making another comment on the logistics of sunscreen, a smile on his face.

He couldn’t find it in him to complain. Too much, at least.

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imherongraystairstrash · 4 years

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Sophideon & Baby Thomas pt. 3!!

I’ve finally finished! I hope it’s a good conclusion! The part in bold is from the second part, since I thought it would be confusing without it. Here are parts 1 and 2

-Ana <3

“Thomas Lightwood.”

They looked at him again. He hadn’t changed since they had named him and yet, there was something else in the air:

Hope.

…

Six weeks later, they were able to hold him. Sophie cried while she cradled Thomas and supported his tiny head in her palm. He was still so tiny, and yet he was so beautiful. He had yet to open his eyes, or even cry, for that matter. She knew her face was a mess of tears and had probably turned red and splotchy. However, in that moment, Sophie did not have it in her to care about those little things. All she thought about was how her baby boy, who had been on the verge of death far too many times to count, was breathing in her arms. Gideon put his own arms around her and his chin on her shoulder. He stroked Thomas’ cheek with his thumb. So long they had anticipated this moment and now they relished in it. Sophie felt so lucky that Thomas had lived, even if there was still time left before they could bring him home. She kissed his tiny nose and turned her head to kiss Gideon. She knew she would cherish this moment for the rest of her life.

…

Two months had come and gone before Thomas Lightwood was able to come home. Two months of living half of their lives in the Silent City. Both parents were ecstatic that they would finally be able to introduce Thomas to their daughters. Most of all, they were excited to be able to go back to their normal life, where they could wake up and go to sleep in the same bed, take their daughters out for walks and fall back into a routine.

Gideon would always insist on spending the night in the Silent City with Thomas while urging Sophie to go back home with the girls. After all, she had given birth recently and she needed to recover.

“Thomas and I will have some man-time.” Gideon would joke, always trying to lighten the mood of the situation.

Sophie would just shake her head and kiss his cheek goodnight.

Now, Gideon was tucking Thomas into a small basket made big with little Thomas inside. Sophie wished more than anything that nobody on the streets would stop them. Not because she was ashamed of her son; she could never feel ashamed for him. If anything she felt pride that he survived when even the Brothers did not think he was going to live. However, she did not wish to have to see the faces of people when they caught sight of Thomas. For Gideon and herself, Thomas’ current state was an immense improvement, though that has most likely been because they were the only ones who had seen him that first day. She did not wish to hear the gasp, see the look of sympathy. Most of all, she did not want to hear an apology, as though Thomas being alive were a burden to them because of how he looked. Sophie wished people could see Thomas for the blessing he was. She did not stay by his side all those hours for people to take one look at him and pity her for birthing a sickly child.

Gideon straightened and offered her his arm. “Shall we go back home?”

Sophie couldn’t help but smile. “I would love nothing more.”

They bid the Silent Brothers goodbye, thanking them profusely for all of their help. Sophie even embraced Jem, even though it was not necessarily a correct way of thanking a Silent Brother. Gideon kept looking back into the basket as they walked down the street.

“What?” Sophie asked.

“I still cannot believe I’m carrying Thomas.”

“Because he is so light?”

“Well, I was thinking because it seemed like we would never be able to take him home, but him being so light does not help his case.”

Sophie rested her head on his shoulder. “At least he will be easy to bring down when he gets stuck in that tree, like two little girls I know.”

Gideon laughed. “However will we get three children out of that tree? We’ve run out of arms.”

“I can climb up and throw them down to you.”

“And how will you get down?”

“I think I am more than capable of getting down from a tree, Gideon Lightwood.”

“Of course you are, my beautiful Sophia, but I would have climbed up and helped you down.”

“Ever the gentleman.”

Gideon shook his head, smiling.

After being sad for so long, their happiness felt like a cold river on a hot summer’s day.

…

Eugenia and Barbara could hardly suppress the bounce in their steps as Gideon walked them back home. They were so excited to finally see their brother, that they practically dragged Gideon home.

“Papa, walk quicker!”

“Yes! What if he grows tired and leaves?”

“Silly, Genie. Thomas cannot walk yet.” Barbara said.

“Oh, right.”

The girls wiggled, trying to slip out of his grasp.

“Stop doing that,” Gideon laughed. “Thomas is very patient.”

“But I am not! Oh, Papa, I must see him before I burst with…” Eugenia trailed off.

“Anticipation?” Gideon offered.

“Yes. I think. I will burst with an-pisi-pat-on.”

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Gideon. He shrugged and motioned for her to let it go and not correct her sister.

Eugenia skipped the rest of the way down the road, until their house came into view.

“We are almost there!” She squealed and jumped.

“Eugenia. You cannot scream when you get there. You will upset him.” Barbara said.

Eugenia rolled her eyes.

Gideon opened the door to the house and took them to where Thomas and Sophie were.

…

Barbara caught one look at him and ran back to Gideon. She buried her face in his leg and shook her head, not wanting to see anymore. Eugenia was more curious. She looked at his face with fascination and, much to Gideon and Sophie’s surprise, bent down next to him. Eugenia examined his small hands and took one look at his closed eyes before saying, “Isn’t he excited to meet us? How come he’s still asleep?”

Sophie catches Gideon’s eye. He, too, seemed to be suppressing a laugh; only Eugenia would be offended that her infant brother was asleep during their first encounter.

“He’s too young to understand what is going on, Genie. I’m sure if he knew, he would be wide awake.”

“Hm, maybe someone should tell him,” Eugenia said. “Hullo, Thomas,” she announced, “I am your older sister, but not your oldest sister. I am your…” She trailed off.

“Younger older sister?” Gideon offered.

“Yes!”

Sophie looked at him, surprised.

“Gabriel said the same thing when Tatiana was born.” Gideon said, his voice going soft at the mention of his sister.

Sophie gave him a comforting look, knowing how hard it was to speak of Tatiana.

“Anyway, I am your younger older sister. Eugenia.”

Perhaps it was a pure coincidence. However, it was safe to say that Gideon and Sophie did not expect Thomas to open his eyes right after Eugenia finished speaking.

Sophie gasped. Thomas’ bright green eyes looked around the room. They were beautiful. She bent down next to Eugenia. Gideon tried to coax Barbara to look up for where she had pressed her face against his neck.

Sophie put her arms around Eugenia and hugged her tightly.

“I think that means he is happy to meet you, Genie.”

Eugenia’s lips spread into a wide smile.

“I like my new brother.” Eugenia said. “What about you, Barbara?”

Barbara looked up, barely, at the mention of her name. Eugenia looked at her expectantly. Barbara did not say anything.

“It’s alright, Barbara.”

“No, it’s not.” Eugenia frowned.

“Eugenia!”

“She’s being vain and inconsiderate. Don’t you know it’s rude not to introduce yourself, Babs?”

“Genie,” Gideon said.

“Poor Thomas came all this way to meet us and you cannot even show him an ounce of respect?”

“Eugenia.” Sophie said, outraged.

“If you’ll excuse me, I would like to get to know our dear brother better.” And with that Eugenia picked up the basket and walked out of the room.

Gideon and Sophie stood stupefied. They exchanged an appalled look until Sophie realized what Eugenia held in her hands—

“EUGENIA, put Thomas down!”

“You want me to drop Thomas?!”

“NO!” Sophie and Gideon yelled.

Eugenia popped back into view and Sophie ran to her, grabbing hold of the basket.

Eugenia’s eyes widened, looking like they were at the verge of tears.

“Eugenia, honey, I know you want to spend time with Thomas, but he’s very fragile right now. If you were to drop him by mistake—”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know, darling. The point is, he can get hurt very easily and we don’t want that, do we?”

“No, mama.”

Sophie kissed her forehead. “You can hold him if you wish, but you must sit down and be very gentle.”

Eugenia bounced on the balls of her feet. “Yes, mama! I promise to be extra careful with him! May I hold him now?”

Sophie chuckled. “Of course.”

…

Barbara did not even want to be in the same room as Thomas. Sophie was worried that she would never warm up to her brother and it absolutely broke her heart. It was evident to her that she was overreacting. Surely Barbara would come to love him. Eventually. Sophie bit her lip. Yes, there was no doubt about it. She will. Or she won’t. No, no, she will.

Sophie pressed her lips together tightly. She looked down at Thomas in her arms, who was staring up at her. She smiled and nuzzled his face.

“Sweet child. How different you are from your very loud sisters.”

She looked into his green eyes.

“Do not fret for you will grow very tall, my darling.” Sophie kissed his soft feet. “Why, all of the men in my family were as tall as beanstalks.”

Thomas smiled a little bit, perhaps at her facial expressions.

“And one day, when you can speak,” she brushed his lips with her finger, “you will tell us about how it’s like to touch the clouds.”

She put her finger in his semi-open hand. Thomas slowly closed it. His fist was so tiny, it couldn’t fit her entire hand in it. Sophie kissed his cheek. She whispered in his ear.

“Do not tell your sisters, but I’ve always wanted a son.”

…

Sophie looked at the photograph on her bedside table. Sophie smiled and placed her hand over the witchlight to turn it off. She looked at Gideon, who was already in bed from sheer exhaustion. He opened his arms for her and Sophie nestled herself inside. She pressed her cheek against his warm chest as he pressed a kiss to her head.

“You’re freezing, Soph.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

She closed her eyes and smiled.

“Soph?”

“Yes?”

“Oh, I thought you fell asleep.”

“So quickly?”

Gideon gave her a sheepish smile, which Sophie kissed softly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Whether they were talking about the company of each other or seeing the sadness having finally been lifted from the other, it would remain unknown. Perhaps it was both; a concoction of pure bliss and adrenalin that comes when you finally step out of the shadows.

Their troubles were far from over. They would have to face trials through tears and sadness in the near future but, in the present, nothing could harm them. Even if they knew they were in the eye of the hurricane, rather than the outskirts, they would still be smiling. Sadness could wait.

Sophie combed her fingers through Gideon’s hair and rested her lips on his collarbone. His hands on her back were warm, sweet. She was drifting off to sleep when she heard it.

Her eyes flew open, and she met Gideon’s. They flew out of bed and sped to the nursery. Was he really crying? Sophie’s eyes burned. She opened the door and found someone had already come to Thomas.

Barbara was looking down at the crib, one of her hands drooped inside. Thomas was quiet as he stared up at his sister. Sophie watched, mesmerized as Barbara smiled at her brother. She felt hands on her shoulders and smiled up at Gideon.

Sophie and Gideon had three children. And they were their pride and joy.

Tagging: @celias

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 years

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hi:) I know this is really random and not sherlock-related but I need to rant and I literally have no one to rant to right now, and you're really sweet, so..... I have a main group of friends who i hang out w and I'm very close to everyone in my friend group. I feel valued by them, but the thing is, whenever they plan something, it's almost always without me?? They exclude me outside of school most of the time but in school they act perfectly normal? i just... don't know anymore. (1)

(2)It’s just been making me feel quite lonely, and I honestly just wish I had a best friend again. The only thing keeping me from being down in the dumps 24/7 is the fact that sherlock didn’t find his best friend until his early thirties, so I guess i’ve still got time😂😅 but still….I’m not sure why I’ve told you this since there’s nothing you can do, but, thanks for reading, steph, and hope you have a great day:)💕

Hey Nonny!

OOOOHHHHHHHHH BOOOYY do I feel you SO HARD on this. I know EXACTLY how you feel with regards to the “everyone except me” thing, which in high school after we turned 19 progressed to “bring her because she’s the only one with a car, she can be D.D.” or “I’m the ugly friend, makes the rest of us look better” (that last one I’m certain isn’t true, but it FEELS like it after a lifetime of being bullied and belittled because I was an overweight child). And in grade 7, the group of friends I grew up with dropped me like a hot potato without no warning or reason. Never saw them again, and no explanation for why they did it; everything seemed like it was alright literally the weekend before that. It was… a rough time; being an introvert, it’s very hard to make friends again, especially in middle school in the middle of the year. I eventually made new ones and I still talk to a few of them today, 20 years later, which is nice.

The thing with friendships, though, Lovely, is that they’re constantly changing as we grow older and begin to understand ourselves. Some people lose touch; some people find other people with similar interests; some people find friendships in coworkers; some marry and have kids; some have new relationships. It’s not to say none of your past friendships mean any less than the ones you currently have now. Just, you may have gone down a different path than someone else, or someone’s priorities may have changed. Those people have helped you become who you are.

It’s really hard to hear this, Lovely, and I’m assuming you’re still a wee bab (”in high school” is what I assume when I read “in school”), but very rarely do we ever have the same friends years down the road that we did in our youth and still call them best friends. PEOPLE CHANGE AND GROW, and that includes you and your friends.

Hmm, how do I put this without sounding like a dick? Okay, I’m not religious for various reasons, but I believe in Fate (as in whatever happens, happens), and that everything happens for a reason, no matter how shitty it is. So yes, seven years of suffering after my Dad died? It fucking sucked – worst years of my life – but it’s made me a stronger, more independent person, who, after being away from the toxicity of my mother, finally figured out who I was and that I wasn’t broken and wasn’t a terrible person because I had to remove her from my life.

I think the same sort of things happen with friendships: in childhood, you learn social skills, behaviours, and influences from the people you befriend. But as you grow, you and those friends find other friends and other interests as you discover who you are and become your own person. Sometimes the bond is still there, and you still talk and still enjoy the same things, other times they will just throw you away because they don’t think you’re worth their time (explanations would be nice, but I digress). But human beings are social creatures – you WILL find another person to befriend, whether it’s online or in real life.

Here’s my view on the concept of a “best friend”: you will have multiple “best friends” in your life, and YOU will have your own definition of who is deemed as your best friend. For instance, my Best Friend (capital B.F.) is my sister – no one can ever replace her in that mantle. It’s not personal, but she is the single most important person in my life. I’ve helped raise her for large chunks of our childhood and we used to move around a lot as young kids, so she was always someone who was there when we had to up and move again. I love her and would die for her if I had to. Next, I have a current circle of best friends (small b.f.), who I didn’t meet until I was 23 and in college, who I love cherish and THEY ARE MY FAMILY (friendships are, after all, the family you create). We have done a lot of things together and have a lot in common, but even that group has broken off into smaller groups in recent years because some feel that they need to move on from another individual in our group who just hasn’t really grown or changed in the past decade. I’m still friends with both halves of the group – real friends don’t make you choose sides – and because we’re so far away from each other, I see them once every few months. We’re still friends, though, even if we don’t talk every day nor see each other all the time. Then I have my best online friend, my fandom besties, and my mutuals acquaintances, all of who I love and respect and cherish to varying degrees. And finally, my old friends from high school, the ones I haven’t physically seen in probably over 15 years, but we still talk occasionally on Facebook. I still consider them friends.

See how complicated that all seemed? Because that’s how I define friendships, HOWEVER it will be different for everyone. Like the word “love”, “friendship” means something different to everyone; there is no one right definition for it. You will come up with a system that works for you and your life. In my example, I find it easier to categorize and organize people, places and things based on their relative importance in my life. It doesn’t mean think any less of it all, it’s just how my brain works.

The rise of social media has become the new way to make friends of all sorts that we never thought possible before, which is so fascinating, because a lot of my friends I have now I met through social media because we share similar interests. Will we be friends in another 10 years? Maybe, maybe not, but I love what I have now with them, and I will live in today and not worry about tomorrow.

So back to your initial question: I’m so sorry you’re currently going through what you are. It’s shitty feeling alone in a group, especially if you are an introvert, I FEEL YOU on that. But please don’t let it discourage you. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE A BEST FRIEND or MEET SOMEONE who will become your life partner, platonic or romantic. You will have NUMEROUS amounts of both over the course of your life. Don’t be afraid to befriend that little boy or girl sitting alone at the lunch table -- I was that little girl after my childhood friends ditched me... I was that woman on my first day of first year second semester college when I was split from my group of friends -- and let me tell you, that introverted person may become your best friend later on.

The concept of friendship / relationships and its ever-changing ways is something I have had a lot of time to sit and think on. I’m 36 years old. I’ve never had a significant other romantically, but society dictates I should with 2.5 kids and a house with a picket fence. Here’s a secret: IT’S BULLSHIT. You live your life at your own pace, and whatever happens will happen. It took a long time for me to accept that, and oddly enough this realization didn’t happen until I removed the toxic relationships from my life. And you know what, Lovely? I am so much happier just living my life day to day. I’m learning about who I am, what I enjoy, and what I can look forward to.

Will I finally find my own John Watson (since I identify with Sherlock)? I hope so, Lovely, but life is too short to worry about that. I know that a lot of people naturally cannot be alone, and I honestly can’t imagine what that’s like (I actually enjoy spending time alone), but you can curb that by befriending people, enjoying their company, and learning from them. Enjoy your life. That’s all you can really do.

#steph replies #my advice #friendship #friends #about me #Anonymous #chatting with nonnies #personal

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