#we need more characters who are just touch averse and people accept that

[redysetdare]

Thinking abt how so many characters in media who canonically state that they don't like people touching them constantly have their boundaries broken and are forced into hugs by other characters and every single time they are shown to be upset it's supposed to be a flaw that they need to overcome until they just are forced to accept/like it.

#text #touch averse #no wonder ppl assume the same of real ppl #everyone wants to think of themselves as the acception as the one who will fix you and make you like hugs #i hate that. i hate you media who have characters with touch aversion as a flaw #we need more characters who are just touch averse and people accept that #no acceptions no 'growth' no 'fixing them' or 'making them love hugs' nothing. #only thought abt this becuz im rewatching kipo and it bugs me so much that wolf tells kipo to not hug or touch her #and kip just responds with 'deal with it' and then later on wolf is suddenly fine with hugging and repeats kipos line #it feels so wrong because it was a blatant disrespect of boundaries that was played off as a good thing

[roshambo05]

(TW: Mentions of ableism)

A few months back, my little sister and I started watching ROTTMNT together. While we had many reasons for our sudden interest, it was mainly due to the high praises from fans for its stellar autism representation. I myself am autistic, and my sister, a sucker for a good cartoon and my biggest supporter in more ways than one, was just as enthusiastic as me if not more so to see if the show lived up to the hype.

For a little background, Rise's version of Donatello is canonically autistic. And honestly, it was incredible representation. Watching the show with my sister, I was shocked by how often I was able to relate to Donnie. His sensory moments, difficulties with conveying emotion, his touch aversion, even little things like his use of sign, it all hit so close to home that it was almost scary. But what really hit me the hardest was the movie (spoilers btw).

Near the end of the movie, there were two moments that really stuck with me. The first, of course, was the incredibly accurate and disgusting scene showcasing Donnie's texture sensitivity as he tried to link with the Kraang ship. And while I was still ruminating on how accurate it was and how disgusted and panicked I felt, I was hit by this line: Raph - "Don't worry, Donnie! This is not a hug! It's a rescue!"

Now, to many of you, this might seem like nothing special, but for me, this was the single most important moment in any piece of media I'd ever consumed. To me, this was Donnie's family understanding and accepting him as he is. This was his brother making an effort to accommodate his needs. Because Donnie hates touch that isn't on his terms, especially when he's already around anxiety and unfamiliarity. Raph's acceptance of this fact and active reassurance in an attempt to comfort his brother in a high-stress situation shows just how much he and the others cared about Donnie, not in spite of his autistic traits, but because of them. Believe me when I say I started tearing up. And at first, I was embarrassed. Here I was, eighteen years old, crying over a children's cartoon. But I came to realize that it was because I'd never felt seen in that way before.

When your only exposure to autism in media is Sheldon Cooper and Rain Man, when you're given movies like Sia's Music and told to be grateful, when the largest corporation claiming to speak for you is actively trying to eradicate you, when all you're ever told is that your very existence is wrong, it becomes hard not to believe those things. A lack of representation in my life not only led to a late diagnosis but an extreme self-consciousness and lack of understanding from my peers. I struggled to be treated as an equal because people saw me as stupid and reclusive. But for the first time in my life, I was given one movie, one character, that made me feel accepted. And it made everything feel that much lighter.

Representation always matters. Whether it be ethnicity, disability, sexuality, gender identity, or whatever else it may be, it is incredibly important. Most marginalized groups grow up with no one to relate to, feeling like they are unimportant or wrong for existing. And that cannot stand. People deserve to feel seen, no matter who they are or their background.

#autism #autistic community #autistic representation #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #autistic donnie #disability representation #representation matters

[sparksly-mage-of-light]

I completely agree with all the disappointment and outrage over the leaked Sumeru characters being so pale, especially Kusanali. That is absolutely justified.

However, I can't really get behind all the discourse about Kusanali being a child. I do get the general aversion anything loli adjacent, but I think people are overlooking the interesting narrative and thematic implications of the god of wisdom being a child. She is supposed to be the youngest archon, so it makes sense in that regard. Sumeru will also be the first nation to really touch on the impact of having different archons (since Makoto and Ei were twins, I'm pretty sure most of Inazuma has no idea they've had a different archon since Khaenr'iah fell). We already know that they call her "Lesser Lord Kusanali," so it's hard to believe there isn't some kind of inferiority complex going on there. And if all archons can change their shape as they want, maybe the reason Kusanali is still a child is because she was a child when she became archon. The people may have infantalized her to the point where she just accepts it. There's also a common theme about children being considered more wise than adults because they haven't developed any internal biases yet. The story could take this in so many different directions. For all we know, she could be the previous archon's daughter. I like the narrative possibilities this could inspire.

She does need a serious melanin infusion, at the very least.

EDIT: I've seen a lot of people online explaining how Nahida might be inspired by the Hindu goddess of wisdom Saraswati (also known as Anahita in Persian mythology), who was usually described as pale and dressed in white (sometimes as white as the moon, which directly relates to how she describes herself as the moon in the Sumeru Promotional Video). So while we still desperately need more representation in Genshin, there does seem to be some mythological precedent for her.

EDIT 2: I am fully aware that Saraswati isn't depicted in art as pure, printer paper white like Nahida is in game. Saraswati is also associated with a lot more color and iconography than Nahida has shown. I only mentioned Saraswati as an example of what cultural and mythological figures hyv might be drawing from. I'm not an expert in any sort of SWANA religions or mythologies and never claimed to be one. I'm an internet nerd who just wanted to share different perspectives on a controversial character.

#genshin impact #sumeru #kusanali #genshin leaks #genshin kusanali #nahida #if she wasn't meant to represent a very culturally diverse nation her design would be incredibly adorable #it just doesn't work here #if every archon was like raiden and zhongli they'd get very boring very quickly #not every character needs to be waifu or husbando material

[class1akids]

The lack of comfort in the hurt/comfort storyline for Shouto is definitely discouraging. It’s also frustrating that out of many of the characters in MHA Shouto probably get some of the least physical contact with people, outside of Bakugou grabbing him and manhandling him around. I think the last time an adult touched Shouto in comfort or praise was All Might after he graduated from the remedial classes and I think the last time a fellow friend touched him in comfort was Iida after he stopped Touya the first time. But the lack of family comfort especially from a mother who was locked/kept away from him for over a decade is frustrating. And maybe it’s a culture thing that Western fans/readers maybe focus too much on, but truthfully I would think physical displays of affection and concern should be acceptable no matter the culture when your child or sibling is severely hurt. Any character that is set up with a traumatic backstory and a storyline of angst has readers expecting and grasping for comfort and affection and happiness.

I want to see the Todoroki family portrait where Shouto is included. I want to see his mother grab him and hug him and touch his left side without fear. I want to see the brothers get a chance to play a video game or soccer together. And I want to see Fuyumi looking down at her brothers all sleeping peacefully together. Hell I want to see Shouto scream at his siblings that he wanted to play with them all the time when he was little, that he wanted to be included in the family, that he wanted big brothers and a sister, that he just wanted to be with them as little brother Shouto.

God I need to do an AO3 search under the Shouto gets a hug tag because my need to read some Shouto happiness is high right now.

I don’t think it’s cultural, more like a Todoroki family thing, where they are so distant still, that it’s still difficult to initiate any touching. It’s really a big contrast when they come out to say goodbye to Shouto as he’s going off to possibly die, and they just stand around awkwardly.

And we see physical touch in mentor-student relationships,

but of course Shouto has been stuck with the guy he doesn’t want any kind of touch from (understandably).

As for his friends, Iida (bless him) has been holding him since the end of the first round with Touya, but that feels kind of exceptional.

I always think about this panel how it looks like everyone wants to reach out to him but the also hesitate.

But also, like Horikoshi left him out of the big Shoji group hug too. So it feels intentional.

Shouto himself has been initiating touching btw, so it’s not like he’s touch averse. But it feels like most people hesitate to return it. So yeah as far as comforting touches are concerned, there is the All Might head pat and when Bakugou squeezed his shoulder.

This is why I felt like HK was holding it back for a later time…. and the family sharing finally a space together felt like a natural spot for it.

So that’s why it feels so strange that after dropping the Shouto-less Todoroki family panel, HK did nothing to counter that image.

#c1a asks #todoroki shouto #bnha manga spoilers

[writtenforwylan]

Kaz Brekker and Autism

Kaz Brekker from Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows duology is blatantly autistic, and let me tell you why. 

Kaz is a character who doesn’t understand a lot of people, specifically social cues and in both of the books in the duology, Kaz’s natural facial expression is described as ‘unreadable’ as autistic people either copy the expressions of those around them or use a very deadpan expression (which could be described as ‘unreadable’). Also, Kaz has trouble sleeping and this is a very common thing for autistic people to experience as we take in so much stimulation on a daily basis, but autistic people can’t process all of this right away. This leads to them only being able to process stimulation when there’s not much (or anything) going on, and when is this period most likely to occur? Right before we go to sleep, hence autistic people’s difficulty to go to sleep. Also, this very much ties into the setting of Six of Crows as the place where people would likely get the most stimulation is in Ketterdam, especially in the Barrel.

Next I want to talk about his trauma and how that affects his daily life. Due to his trauma related to skin-to-skin contact, Kaz has to wear gloves so he doesn’t get flashbacks, and this makes sense, but if we dig a little deeper, when Kaz is touched skin-to-skin, not only does he get flashbacks, but he also gets overstimulated. We can see this multiple times in terms of Kaz moments, but I want to talk about two: One from the books, and one from the show. In a story told in Kaz’s chapters in Crooked Kingdom, Kaz once tried to get over his touch aversion in order to be with a girl named Imogen. This failed horribly and Kaz ended up shaking on a bathroom floor in the Slat. This is relatable to me as an autistic person, as I cannot touch my mother or sister due to trauma reasons. Also, Leigh Bardugo’s description of what it’s like for Kaz when he touches people skin-to-skin is a perfect description of how I feel when I get touched by my mother or sister (or anyone when I just don’t want to be touched). In the show, we see a very similar situation in which Kaz is touched skin-to-skin and he gets overstimulated very quickly. He loses focus, stumbles to a quiet place, and can’t seem to deal with what is happening around him. This is very much what happens when an autistic person overstimulates: We lose focus of what we were doing, we try to reach a quiet place where we can process stimulation, and we break down.

Now I’ll talk about Kaz’s protection of Wylan as Wylan is commonly accepted as an autistic character within the Grishaverse (as well as David Kostyk and I believe Alina Starkov and Tolya Yul-Bataar to be autistic as well, but that’s for another time). Kaz is very protective over Wylan and some even say that Wylan becomes a mini-Kaz. Even though I do not agree with that statement, they can be very similar, notably in autistic traits. I believe that Kaz sees himself in Wylan in terms of relatability because of their shared autism. Yes, autism affects every autistic person differently, but we know that there are some more common autism traits that I think Kaz sees in Wylan and feels the need to protect him because of this. He relates to Wylan, and that’s not something Kaz has very often, so he cherishes it and that leads to protective tendencies.

Moving on, I would like to talk about Kaz’s use of comfort objects. This is shown multiple times throughout both the Six of Crows duology and the Shadow and Bone show, and anyone who knows anything about Kaz’s character could see that he has an attachment to his cane and his gloves. In a Kaz pov chapter in Six of Crows, it is said outright that Kaz would give up half his share of the earnings of the job for the ‘familiar heft of his cane.’ This indicates a need for the familiarity of a comfort object. Also, while on this job, Kaz leaves a lot behind to be less conspicuous, but he doesn’t give up his gloves. This very much relates to my earlier point about Kaz’s trauma and his inability to touch people skin-to-skin, but he also appreciates the familiarity of them and it’s stated blatantly that when he has to take off his gloves for just a few minutes, his hands feel naked as he always has his gloves on, no matter what. Familiarity is very important to autistic people, as shown by our love for routine and things being done in specific ways, but we also love having comfort objects to calm us when the world becomes too much. For some, this could be a teddy bear, for me it’s books and my headphones, and for Kaz, it’s his cane and gloves. 

Lastly, I shall analyse Kaz’s hyperfixation tendencies and his special interest. Lots of people get hyperfixated on things, but Kaz (and other autistic people alike) feels the need to know the ins-and-outs of everything he does and knows, and this is shown a multitude of times throughout Six of Crows. First, he stayed up all night trying to figure out a magic trick he’d seen and even compares this to what other people tend to do in similar situations. Secondly, his lock-picking ability definitely falls into the category of this as he states that to understand something, he takes them apart to analyse them, just as autistic people feel they need to know the details of something before it finally clicks. A broad description just won’t do. Next, Kaz definitely gets hyperfixated on jobs as he always knows everything that could happen, what the plan is and how everything fits together. This makes him a great planner and his problem-solving skills are astounding. He naturally and skilfully overcomes any obstacles when planning jobs and he always knows the ins-and-outs of what is happening and what the group should do if the plan goes sideways. 

Kaz’s special interest is crows. This seems oh-so obvious but nobody ever actually talks about it. I mean, he named his crew after crows, knows the social tendencies of crows and relates that to his crew, his life, and even talks to Inej about them in Season 1 of Shadow and Bone. His cane has a crows’ head, he named his club ‘The Crow Club’ and yet no one talks about this special interest of his? It’s literally in the name of the book. 

In conclusion, Kaz is a very autism-coded character and I’m truly surprised by the fact that I’ve seen no one talk about this before. From his lack of awareness with social cues, his comfort objects, his hyperfixations to even his sleeping habits, Kaz is a blatantly autistic character and this needs to be brought to light. He is great autism representation and we need to talk about it!

[teawiththegods]

Going to your discussion of Hades and Zeus and mythology. It really rankles me that people turned Persephone into a #girlboss and rewrite the story so she chooses to go to the underworld. I understand for some it’s a way to justify enjoying Hades and Persephone as a couple. Even with that understanding, I still don’t like it. Guess what? You don’t have to have a rewritten, morally correct story to validate your enjoyment of something. Especially when it comes to the Theoi. Idk part of me just doesn’t really understand the struggle of that. Like why is it so difficult to take the myths the way they are, accept them, examine them yes, but still accept the myths in their entirety. Maybe it’s all the new reimaginings and popularity of LO in particular that has my feathers ruffled but. It makes me want to go deeper into privacy about worshipping Hades and Persephone. - scytheandseed

You don’t have to have a rewritten, morally correct story to validate your enjoyment of something.

I think you hit the nail on the head with that line. Personally I think this is at least one of the core problems. I’ve noticed this issue with media and storytelling in general even outside of Greek Mythology. People, especially the younger crowd, have an aversion to liking morally ambiguous or just straight up immoral characters. They often go to great lengths to either again absolve the character of their sins or put the blame on another character (sound familiar??). This is why redemption arcs are so popular nowadays. People want their favorite character to receive the Zuko treatment believing it’ll give them permission to like the character. But stories don’t work that way and neither do fully fleshed out real characters. Not everyone is deserving of a redemption arc nor do they need one. As someone who LOVES villains (esp badass women who want nothing more than to watch the world burn) I’m quite happy with them the way that they are thank you very much!

But it all def echoes back to the good vs. evil rhetoric of Christianity. It’s why a lot of people have a hard time with The Iliad. They can’t wrap their heads around the idea that there IS NO good guy or bad guy. They are all just dumb guys fighting their dumb war. (Yes, it hurts me to say but Patroclus and Hector are included 😢). But so often you see Agamemnon framed as the “evil” one and Achilles as the “good” one despite the fact that Achilles did PLENTY of awful things. ITS WAR! They all do awful things but you know only one of them was gay and pretty so clearly he’s absolved of his sins. Agamemnon, did you try being gay and pretty?? Maybe if you were gay and pretty everyone would look the other way with Iphigenia like they did with Briseis. Or how about getting a dog? Idk something about a guy with a dog makes people want to forget about all your misdeeds. Just a suggestion. Still gonna cheer when your wife murders you in the bathtub tho so maybe it doesn’t really matter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Writing all that sarcasm made me think how another issue is the romanticizing of these relationships. Like I understand it more when it comes to Achilles and Patroclus considering how lacking we🌈 are of stories about us and our love however removing or ignoring unsavory aspects of Achilles (and even Patroclus bc he WAS a participant in all of this) is a complete disservice to him as a character and the story as a whole. You have to take the bad with the good, babes. The same goes for Hades. If you’re gonna take the myth literally than you have to accept that your homeboy saw a 12 year old girl thought “yeah gotta have that”, asked Big Poppa for permission, and then took her once he got it without any care or concern for Persephone or Demeter’s feelings. That’s just the reality. I don’t make the news I just report it!

Psssst…the solution is to not take the myths literally!!

Anyway, lots babbling from me (I blame the Covid tho it’s likely not the Covid 🤣) and I didn’t even touch on the main part of your ask which is about the portrayal of Persephone. I completely agree! Honestly I’ve read soooooo many of these feminist retellings of the myths and while I understand and support the efforts, they really just all feel the same. Like every character is the same regardless of which character is being portrayed. And they all just follow the same formula and I’m just bored.

That’s honestly how I feel with ALL retellings and even media that features the gods. Bored. So damn bored.

[rjalker]

no, actually you are not allowed to hide my fucking reblog telling you you're being a bigot. I'm not letting you people pretend you don't know you're being bigots.

Murdernot said:

One thing I love about Murderbot is that it is such a delightfully complex character that it can be so relatable to so many different people.

Like, I recently recommended the series to two friends who are very different. One I think will like it because of the aro/ace/agender-ness and the more existential "what defines a person" aspects of it. The other I think will like it for the exploration of trauma and the horrors of capitalism and the sense of humor.

Like any good story, it has some very specific things that only some people might relate to, but also some more general, more universal aspects, and we all like it for some combination of it.

And I think even more so since Murderbot is such an unreliable narrator when it comes to its own internal experience. We have to read between the lines to see how it really feels, and everyone reads between the lines slightly differently based on our own experiences and viewpoints.

And like, because Murderbot is on a character journey where it is discovering itself, we all interpret the steps on the journey differently. Like, a lot of it is Murderbot figuring out its boundaries. There are some parts where it pushes out of its comfort zone and widens its boundaries (being out of armor/being observed, which doesn't seem to bother it nearly as much in later books), and other parts where it asserts its boundaries (like with hugs). Both of those things are important for its character growth.

And someone who is trying to assert their own boundaries might latch onto the importance of Murderbot doing the same and enjoy discussions/fanart/fanfic of people respecting those boundaries. But someone who is trying to break out of a defensive, potentially maladaptive comfort zone might really appreciate the way that Murderbot becomes more comfortable with certain things over time and might enjoy discussions/fanart/fanfiction of it learning to enjoy some things it has expressed reflexive distaste for. Both are wonderful ways of interacting with the work.

The important thing for me is that Murderbot is a (beautifully written and complex) fictional character who means different things to different people. We all connect to Murderbot slightly differently and I think that's beautiful.

My response! Because you people do not get to fucking pretend you care about aroace and touch averse people and then silence us at every turn!

The problem is there are hundreds of stories where characters are touch averse and learn to enjoy being touched because they secretly enjoy it and didn't want to admit it to themselves.

Aside from The Murderbot Diaries, there are zero stories of characters who are touch averse and do not feel any desire for touch, and actually have these boundaries respected.

I don't think people who are not solitaremit understand how absurdly ludicrously rare it is that Murderbot has its boundaries with touch respected with this series.

It is in fact ableism for people to look at this character who is touch averse and has no desire for touch, whose boundaries are always respected, and to then insist that that has to change. That it has to open up and remove its boundaries and admit it secretly enjoys being touched.

We aren't talking about vague "Be more comfortable with yourself" things here. We are talking about touch aversion. We are talking about aroace.

Do I need to explain why erasing the fact that a character is aroace and repulsed by relationships is bigoted? Do I need to explain why erasing a character who's solitaremit and has that respected is bigoted?

Apparently I do, since everyone in this fandom keeps insisting on watering these issues down into just "differences in interpretation" and "learning to be more comfortable"

Would you be okay with people writing about Murderbot learning to accept and be normal about eye contact?

Do I have to explain that being touch averse is something adults try to beat out of autistic kids?

If the issues at hand here were anything but aroaceness and touch aversion, if they were more "serious" things being erased, like being gay or if people were removing all of Murderbot's other autistic traits, would you still say they're just a minor, beautiful different in opinion?

Aroace people who are repulsed by all forms of relationships have no representation. We are demonized even in our own communities, let alone the rest of society.

Solitaremit people aren't even given shelter in the rest of the touch averse community.

Erasing the fact that Murderbot is aroace and repulsed by relationships of all kinds is bigotry. Erasing the fact that Murderbot does not enjoy touch or have any desire for it is bigotry.

Listen to aroace people when we tell you something is bigoted. Listen to touch averse people when we tell you something is bigoted.

Just because it doesn't impact you personally does not mean it's not a problem and that people literally opppressed by it should just be fine with it and let everyone continue to erase our very existance.

These books are actually doing everything right in respecting aroace people and solitaremit people.

Why is it too much to expect the fandom, who claims to love this character, to do the same?

Do you actually care about people when their experiences are not the same as yours, or do you just see our existence as internet discourse that begins and ends on tumblr.com?

If you actually give a shit about aroace people and touch averse people, then stop making posts like this that coddle those who erase us. Actually pick a side instead of trying to play the middle.

This is literal real bigotry we are talking about here. You cannot create representation by taking it away from other people.

The whole main theme of this series is that you need to respect people even when they're different from you. Why is that so hard for people who claim to love this series to accept?

Why is it okay to erase people's sexualities when it's about aroace people?

Why is it okay to overstep and overwrite people's boundaries when it's about touch averse people?

Stop fucking pretending you care about nonpartnering aroace people and solitaremit touch averse people when you fucking hide our reblogs on your post. Either fucking actually support us and stand up against bigotry or stop pretending you care.

A character that is explicitly aroace and sex repulsed, touch repulsed, platonic repulsed, and nonpartnering and is nonbinary and uses it/its pronouns and touch averse and has no desire for touch at all is not a blank slate for you to erase. Murderbot represents real living breathing people. When you erase everything that makes Murderbot who it is, you are being a bigot to the real people it represents.

[Plain text: "A character that is explicitly aroace and sex repulsed, touch repulsed, platonic repulsed, and nonpartnering and is nonbinary and uses it/its pronouns and touch averse and has no desire for touch at all is not a blank slate for you to erase. Murderbot represents real living breathing people. When you erase everything that makes Murderbot who it is, you are being a bigot to the real people it represents.". End Plain text.]

#Murderbot #The Murderbot Diaries #TMBD #SecUnit #TMBD fandom athiktomisia #TMBD fandom aroacemisia #TMBD fandom exorsexism #TMBD fandom ableism #exorsexism #athiktomisia #ableism #aroacemisia #long post #Murderbot fandom bigotry #you fuckers do not get to sweep this under the rug. #you fuckers do not get to plug your ears and pretend no one's criticizing you

[sfc-russell-ziskey]

OOC (redacted as deemed appropriate):

I don't generally go OOC, as a rule, but it's come to my attention that @egonspenglerofficial has been getting some pretty hateful anonymous messages, and I felt it was important to say something about that. Because acting like that is NOT okay.

Look, I get that the storyline is heartbreaking. I get that people are disappointed. But, it also accurately portrays how incompatibility on some pretty basic levels in a relationship is still a factor, even when two people love each other. Love is messy. Relationships are messy.

This muse is being written as a touch-averse ace, so this turn of events should come as no surprise.

But on the broader scale, these events also comprise a story. The muses are fictional. None of this is real. But, the muns ARE real. That they evoke such emotional reactions is a testament to how well they write their muses, but just because anyone and everyone here has such easy and open access to them doesn't mean that basic respect and manners can be tossed aside.

Love means wanting what's best for the person you love. And sometimes, it still needs some hard, critical examination, because love means that sometimes, you have to accept that you're not the right one for the person you love, and for what THEIR needs are in a relationship. I know that movies often glorify giving everything up for someone - including your own needs - but in the end, whittling yourself away for the sake of another is NOT a healthy way forward. For someone to demand that is just plain selfish. And love CANNOT be that and still deserve to be called love.

Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for a person is to recognize incompatibility, and let them go. Of COURSE it hurts in the short term. But, it saves them suffering from that incompatibility in the long run. I know from copious personal experience what it's like to be with the wrong person. I (the mun, not my muse) can be a bit touch-averse, too. Not to this extent, but I know perfectly well how badly people react when I reject physical contact. Forcing people to take it anyway is cruel. Shouting insults that they're incapable of love - also cruel. Not to mention untrue. There are many ways to express love. But, I guess only certain types get much respect, and maybe it's time that we, as a culture, take a good, hard look at that.

So, while it might be tempting to shout at the muses, there's no getting around the fact that every muse is an intangible construct. The mun behind the muse, however, is very real, and so are THEIR feelings. They are the ones who have to soak up whatever everyone sends to the muse. And the muns don't deserve the abuse - especially when the muses don't deserve it either, because the mun is not the muse, any more than the actor is the character they play.

It costs nothing to be kind. And it's worth everything to know what kindness really is.

#OOC message #roleplay blog #edited in light of further revelations

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Catra and neurodivergence

While She-Ra does have canonical neurodivergent representation in the form of Entrapta (and semi-canonical for Adora and maybe Scorpia), 

Catra is also a very good representation, in a semi-metaphorical way, but still.   

Let me present my case:   

Catra, as a feline girl, has a lot of characteristics you also get in neurodivergence. Namely, the physical responses of autism  - high physical sensitivity, aversion to touch, some less than voluntary responses such as her tail movements and ear expressions and purring and hissing.  It also comes through in the way Catra processes the world, which is very different from how Adora does so - Catra is just more sensitive to everything as a byproduct of who she is.   

Catra has needs that other characters do not have. When she was younger, she used to accidentally hurt people with her claws when gripping them. Catra has a hard time communicating exactly what she needs, not having the context and skills to get her feelings across. She’s easily agitated, she wants to stay in quiet, dark spaces, and she has a great weakness for physical affection, as we saw with Shadow Weaver petting her fur tuffs.  

When Catra was going down her villain route in season 4, a very interesting choice was made - Stevenson said Catra wanted to look less like a cat. 

She cut off her tuffs that Shadow Weaver had petted, and grows her hair longer, grooming it to be less fluffy. She gets a brand new, much less rough look that makes her appear as a strong woman rather than a cat teenager.  

Catra is masking her feline traits because she has identified them as a weakness. They make her different from everyone else, they were exploited by Shadow Weaver. She does not want to be vulnerable, to show her true self for people to take advantage of, or reject.  Her cat traits are humanizing, and show parts of herself she cannot control, namely her emotions, so she does her best to cover them up. 

This also coincides with Catra masking her psychological and emotional turmoil. She will not accept help from anyone because it would mean acknowledging that she needs them, that she is not strong, and that perhaps she has been taking the wrong path this whole time.   

Once Adora comes to rescue her, Catra becomes physically and mentally incapable of masking any longer. It is too exhausting. Her cat traits come back in full force- clutching Adora desperately, having enormously expressive ears and eyes, her tail flicks and desire for physical play and affection, her arm stripes are visible again... 

Her physical mask is also gone for good, and her hair is loose. This lets us see a catlike aspect of Catra we never even knew existed - the fluffiness of her cheeks! 

Catra is not only physically awkward for the rest of the show, but also socially awkward - she goes through a much more advanced version of what Entrapta was learning earlier that season. Catra learns to navigate her new space, not as a superior but as a friend, and makes mistakes, says things she shouldnt say, has a hard time displaying affection. But when Catra learns that she can mess up and still be accepted, she is emboldened and becomes comfortable around the Best Friend Squad, being better equipped to face the challenges that lie on Etheria, such as meeting the Rebellion and making things up with Scorpia.  

I also think the use of Melog, in particular, to physically pry the mask away from Catra is genius - the other characters and the audience can get a sense of her true feelings even when she’s unable to process them herself.  

I think reading Catra as neurodivergent is really fun, because... well... that’s how she was written. Maybe not on purpose, but Catra is canonically neurodivergent simply by daunt of being written as a cat person.  

#she ra #spop #catra

[alien-ally]

Koisenu Futari

Finished watching koisenu futari. The moment I saw it on tumblr I knew I had to watch it and to no one's surprise it has been life-changing. Representation wise and story wise it just kept getting better all the way. I had a smile on my face throughout, while different emotions flickered in my eyes.

Within 4 hours, they tackled so many of the jabs aro/ace and loveless people get, it got sort of overwhelming. And the fact that they did it without being insensitive towards any of the downplayed identities. Without using the ‘we can still feel xxx love' or 'we can still form xxx relationships’ to validate aspecs. Cause no matter where you lie on the ace/aro/apl spectrums, you shouldn't have to be redeemed. The variety of interpersonal relationships portrayed was just chef’s kiss. The entire scene of Sakuko in the aspec club. How one pair of people only called each other when they needed help and still referred to each other as family. Seeing that made me incredibly happy, as an aplatonic that desires some form of a comradeship. Reminded me once again that it’s okay to work out something out of the norm, as long as it’s comfortable for me and those involved.

Personally, as someone with zero allies in real life, I've depended solely on myself for reassurance. So it gets exhausting. Terribly so. Figuring out that you greatly differ from the majority at a young age and battling the perpetual estrangement that follows. Realizing that apart from my family and a few friends no one might ever get to see certain sides of me. Only to get heart broken by my parents who may never truly understand me. For all the times I felt hopeless, every night I spend scrolling through tumblr and aven forums unable to fall asleep. All the instances I thought of coming out to my brother and parents, except dint because I was waiting to reach an age at which my words would hold more credibility. Dealing with the incessant triggers strewn around carelessly. For every single time I felt compelled to justify my experiences and orientations, my right to know myself, when my touch-aversion and lovelessness felt like a disability. The sheer horror and befuddlement that crept up to me while watching the news, finding out about the monstrosities that happened to young girls , children and women. None of it comes from trauma, but without me knowing, at some point, being this way became my trauma. All of it has been portrayed awesomely by this show. It reminded me that although it may seem that way for now, I'm not alone and will eventually find more people like me.

I enjoyed all the characters in the story cause despite their initial bad responses towards their beliefs getting challenged, they were willing to learn. Willing to accept even if they dint necessarily understand. Some even eager to learn more (spoiler: Kazu). But most importantly watching this made of realize just how many tropes could come up if we experimented with aroace characters. We only get crumbs of representation but just IMAGINE the countless plotlines and relationship dynamics we could come up with for aspec characters!!! Including the fake dating trope, lovers to realizing you're aspec to becoming allies trope and so much more. There is so much waiting to be explored. I'm tired of watching people marvelling about love. Now can we please explore lovelessness? I tell you IT'S JUST AS EXTENSIVE as the mighty love itself.

This is probably my hundredth time editing this post. I just can’t finish expressing what I feel about this. Each time feels as though I’m missing out on something. The ending was the most best and perfect ending to ever exist. In the end, home is just somewhere you can return to, someone you can split chores with, someone that motivates you to try out intense recipes (cause when you get to share the food you make is when you reach true content of a successful recipe), someone to help you with your vegetable garden and house maintenance. Someone you can go shopping with. It’s literally anything you want it to be. A family (subject to change) is what you want it to be.

The many times the words aromantic and asexual was shown on screen was simply immaculate. Each and every word uttered by Takahashi deserves a separate frame. From his dream of building a vegetable kingdom to his eccentric udon making tactics. Plus yes, his love for crabs. Can't miss out on that. Sakuko's amiability, love for long coats and Kazu's neverending absorptivity topped off by Maya's affection for pandas.

I give this show an absolute 10/10. Someone is saying we should replace 'sending love' with 'sending cabbages' among aroaces omg that sounds amazing.😭 Underrated vegetable cabbage supremacists please gather around immediately

Okay I'm finishing off, as for my last words: Yeah. People who can't fall in love exist. I'm one of them. But that's not the point. The point is

#koisenu futari #aromantic #asexual #aspec representation #jdrama #takahashi satoru #kodama sakuko #aromantic character #asexual character #aroace appreciation is stored in the cabbage #takahashi and sakuko are some of the best characters I have come to know through media #forever going to hold a special place in my heart #touch-averse #life changing experience #aa mine

[lassieposting]

I cant believe that in all the times I have read these books i never picked up on all the hints at skug/cassie

So we meet her, and already it's established that they have some kind of a past. She's warm and friendly to him, and apparently well aware he's a shameless charmer. It's also implied she's aged considerably since she saw him last. We see him in Flirt Mode in the halloween ball story, so Flirty Skug is not out of character for him.

He's familiar enough with her process that he doesn't need to be told what to do. He knows what her steam room is, how it works, and what she wants from him. They've clearly done this together before.

Now, Skug is incredibly touch-averse. It takes him years to start hugging Val when she's upset and needs comforting, and a few more to start tolerating hugging for the sake of hugging. As late as LSODM, he's awkwardly trying to redirect her away from wanting a celebratory with, "I prefer the old tradition."

He has no problem telling someone to take their hands off him when he's not comfortable being touched - we see this with Abyssinia ("Hands. Off. The suit.") - but when Val starts crossing his prickly no-touch barrier to hug him, he grouses but doesn't really resist it. He could, but he doesn't, because he loves her to pieces.

Cassie is the only other person in the series who gets to hug him with minimal fuss. In fact, she's the third of only three people who get to be physically affectionate with Skulduggery in the whole series. He hugs Ghastly once, when he returns from being a statue, but Ghastly lets him initiate it. Cassie, like Val, knows the complaining is mostly for show and that she can hug him anyway.

He? Hates it when someone disparages her. This response to China is pretty savage, especially considering he has a tendency to let her little comments go unchallenged. It also bothers him when he thinks Val doesn't like her, because Val's opinion matters to him, and he wants her to like Cassie.

It's worth noting that Skug doesn't go to bat for hardly anyone like this. Even with Val, nine times out of ten he lets her fight her own battles when someone insults her, and only really intercedes if she's hurt or too fragile to take it on the chin. He gets defensive every time someone insults Cassie.

He fuckin?? Talks to her at night while Val is sleeping?? And more importantly, the conversations they usually have are apparently private enough that a) she answers the phone to him with a flirty comment and b) he feels the need to immediately blurt that she's on speaker? Val is an adult here. What the hell does Cassie talk to you about that's inappropriate for Val to hear, Skug? Huh?

Also? She makes the noise like he just killed her buzz? Cassie is the reason Skug knows what phone sex is, is what I'm getting at.

He. He knows where the spare key to her house is??? And none of her possessions have been sold or packed away despite her not having been there for two years? Did she just fuckin...leave everything to him and he hasn't been ready to touch any of it?

SHE TAUGHT HIM TO PLAY GUITAR AND HE STILL MISSES HER DEEPLY AND HASNT REALLY ACCEPTED THE LOSS

Anyway i refuse to accept her offscreen death & from now on, she was supposed to be targeted for the Night Of Knives but the assassin was unaware that since Val left, Skug's house had become painfully quiet and empty and he hardly spent any time there anymore bc he has an open invitation to Cassie's hippie hobbit hole. When the assassin arrived to kill her, she wasn't alone and Skug put the fear of god into him and saw him off with his tail between his legs thanks for coming to my ted talk

#skulduggery pleasant #sp headcanons #cassdug #anyway i have feelings so i gotta convert some folks

[baya-ni]

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

#and scene #i was up till 4am writing this instead of doing my hw #bc i hav Opinions dammit #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 meta #sk8 theory #queerbait

[a-non-sequitur]

Short Wishlist for Vincenzo Finale

What I hope happens in Ep 19 & 20 of Vincenzo: 1. Vincenzo initiates the next big romantic gesture.  His affection for Cha-young is clearly present in the way he treats Cha-young (his attentiveness, his frequent touching, etc), but Cha-young so far has done all the first Big Romantic Steps. I think, from Cha-young’s perspective, that she still has some level of insecurity regarding Vincenzo’s romantic feelings towards her -- Vincenzo’s responses to her “testing of the waters” have been, overall, relatively equivocal from her perspective (even the Kiss got undercut by the (hilariously awkward) hahaha-there-was-a-kissing-scene-in-our-acting-ha...ha...ha...sweetie discussion in the car). So the next hug/kiss/confession?  I want it to be from Vincenzo.

1b. I know I'm Always By Your Side will probably play during the next romantic scene, but if Adrenaline could also play one last time but instead of it happening when someone is looking at Vincenzo, it's when Vincenzo is looking at Cha-young... please and thank you. 2. I want Cha-young to complete her character arc towards "noble” villainy by killing Jang Han-seok or Choi Myung-hee herself. She’s gone from we-can’t-hurt-people to openly allowing Vincenzo to use more violent methods in his schemes to Cha-young herself actively torturing people (the car exhaust scenes) and approving their murders away from her (same people) to Cha-young basically ordering Vincenzo to torture/kill someone (his mom’s killer) to accepting the murder of someone in front of her eyes (her dad’s killer).  Her final step would be to kill someone herself, and the ones that would get the “honor” to fit her arc would be either Han-seok or Myung-hee.

2b. I’ve seen some speculation about Han-seo being the one to kill Han-seok, but I personally feel that would be a great disservice to Han-seo’s character arc.  Throughout the show, he has shown extreme aversion to violence and murder, and his plan to kill his brother was an act of extreme self-preservation -- he was in a such a place of desperation and fear and relative isolation (remember that at the time his only source of support was Seong-huk) that, to him, killing his brother was the only way to avoid his own death/not being imprisoned for life.

Han-seo is no longer in that situation of desperation, isolation, and powerlessness. He has more power, more self-resolve, and more support than before.  I personally think his growth as a character has (nearly) reached completion by him finally standing up to his brother (him tightening those handcuffs!!  so emotionally satisfying to watch).  If anything, a more public declaration of undercutting Han-seok or a scene in which he openly betrays his brother for Vincenzo and Han-seo becoming the official chairman of Babel (or some new company) would complete his character arc.  Killing Han-seok would be detrimental to his growth.  (Not that I’m against Han-seo throwing a couple of punches/lamps at Han-seok during the finale!  That’d absolutely be satisfying.)

3. I know Han-seok and Vincenzo have been propped as the “kings” and Myung-hee and Cha-young are the “queens” in the chess analogy, but I really think that it makes a lot more sense that Cha-young is the Black King and Vincenzo is the Black Queen.  I mean, what does the Queen do on the board?  It’s the most powerful piece on the board, can easily wipe out many of the other side’s pieces, able to use a range of moves, it is a much more active threat to the White King than the Black King...

Remember that Vincenzo decided to stay in Korea longer specifically to support Cha-young.  Although he developed some personal stake against Babel relatively quickly (Hong Yu-chan’s murder) and moreso now with the murder of his mother, his actions have been primarily driven by his desire to support HER war with Babel, not his own. And I feel like, if Cha-young were to be killed (which is no way going to happen in the show, but hypothetically), that Vincenzo would of course go on revenge-spree #4 (or 5 or 6... I lose count for that poor man) and kill Myung-hee (because I have difficulty imagining Han-seok ordering her death no matter how angry he gets. it’d totally be a Myung-hee Iconically Bad Decision) and end Han-seok/Babel, but that, ultimately, Vincenzo would have already lost the game.  So... if the script could throw that type of twist (ie either Han-seok or Myung-hee realizing Cha-young is actually the King and switching strategy or Vincenzo himself disabusing them of that notion (a la “tut tut you think I’m the King? you really are stupid”))... I’ll be shouting in glee. 4. The Cassano Family (Geumga Plaza branch) gets another heist to pull (while not overwhelming the finale episodes). I need Cho Yeong-Un and An Gi-seok to work together - their introduction to each other in episode 17 was hilarious and amazing and I need more of that dynamic.

5. Vincenzo builds a roost for Inzaghi.

6. Vincenzo stays in Korea at the end of the show (or stays in Korea for part of the year, and he and Cha-young live in Italy for part of the year - BOTH of them. None of this CLOY or TKEM intermittent meeting nonsense). And he and Cha-young use the hot air balloon not for running away, but just for a romantic date. Cha-young was the one who wanted to try the hot air balloon. Vincenzo kept telling her it was a terrible idea but ultimately caved. Vincenzo is wearing his mother's scarf. Cha-young has a ring on her finger.

(It was a terrible idea. The thing didn't even lift off the ground. Inzaghi may have been involved.)

#vincenzo #chayenzo #vincenzo x cha young #hong cha young #vincenzo cassano #jang han seo #fanmeta #personal post

[aceofwhump]

Any thoughts on Kaz Brekker (my beloved) so far?

Thoughts? On Kaz Brekker? How about

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

Okay I've got two episodes still to go at this moment (gonna finish tonight) but I think we all know I got a thing dark broody bastards and if that doesn't sum up Kaz Brekker I don't know what does 😂 I mean there's so much I'm absolutely loving about Kaz and about the Crows as a whole. I love the mystery behind them (because I haven't read the books and only know what I've read on wikipedia or been told) so things like the beef between Kaz and Pekka Rollins, all of Inej's backstory, Kaz's limp, how the three of them all met and got involved in the Crow Club, all intrigue the hell out of me and I need to know more lol. I love the whole thing they got going on.

Whump wise I love Kaz. Oh my god he's a goldmine. The touch aversion, the limp/leg pain, the very obvious traumatic past, the found family feels. I love Freddy Carter who is a great whump actor. He's very handsome and I enjoy his work here. I love it. I love Kaz. I want more. What if he was injured? Would he accept help despite hating being touched? Shit how would that even go.

I love how Kaz seems like your regular bastard who doesn't care about Inej or Jesper or anything, you think they're just means to an end, but I don't see that at all. I mean yeah he's also kinda a bastard but I also see someone who's been to hell and back and has put up so many walls to protect himself but these two people have crawled their way into his heart and he wants to keep them safe and worries about them but he can't worry about them because if you care about people you get hurt when they get hurt and life is fucking hard and you gotta be tough. So he keeps them back and he keeps his walls up and he keeps his distance as a protective shield.

And he's so smart!!! You can see him analyzing and thinking and it's impressive as hell!! I loved the scene in episode 5 when Kaz ran into the Darkling and he's like backing away cause fuck it's the Darkling but he's smart enough and skilled enough to escape the fucking Cut!!! That's so damn cool!!

I rambled for a bit there but yes, I love Kaz and I'm enjoying learning more about him and seeing more of him. He's such a great character.

#mod replies #mod rambles about her favs #ask #anon #kaz brekker #mod post #shadow and bone #six of crows

[themadauthorshatter]

... This is going to be more triggering than my Sanders Sides Beetlejuice AU, and I deeply apologize.

This is a Happy Tree Friends story I've thought about and it got inspired by a scene in the Asylum season of American Horror Story.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR PTSD, AVERSION THERAPY, FORCED/DELIBERATE TRIGGERING OF PTSD AND HALLUCINATIONS, ISOLATION, BEING HELD CAPTIVE/HOSTAGE, ANIMAL DEATH, AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS!!!!

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!

Additional note: I'm visualizing the characters as human, so don'tbe caught off guard when I bring up a character's hair or complexion. It makes this story easier for me to picture in my head, that's just how I work. And this is mostly TV perspective, so thought I'd tell you that, too.

We begin with the sun rising and a new day starting, how lovely. No one is fully awake, but two people are and they are having a race.

Who's against who?

Simple.

It's Flippy on his feet and Splendid in the air to see who's faster on which and they're neck and neck in this.

Flippy sees Splendid next to him and asks if he's holding back, because this is not the fastest Flippy can run.

Splendid jokes that maybe it is because this is the SLOWEST he's flown in a long time.

Flippy laughs and kicks it into maximum overdrive, full on sprinting as fast as he can, even faking a turn to throw Splendid off his flight. While he stays on his intended path, and shouts that Splendid fell for it, Splendid calls him a cheating bastard.

Flippy laughs and contunues sprinting until he stops on a sidewalk in the town.

How lovely because Splendid is sitting on the wood of one of the telephone poles and waves at him.

Flippy pants and asks how Splendid both beat him and got up there.

Splendid simply floats down and claims it's just a hop, skip, and leap of faith.

And no cheating, which he points out.

Flippy clarifies that he actually DID NOT cheat. He would've gotten some of kryptonut and put it in his pocket, if he really wanted to.

Splendid gasps that he wouldn't, but Flippy shrugs and says he knows a guy, so don't tempt him.

The two share a laugh, but Flippy freezes as he hears a nearby woodpecker.

Splendid spots it and comments on the lovely avian specimen.

That's when a knife is thrown and (TV perspective) off screen kills the bird.

Splendid sees Flippy threw it and has 'killer instinct' eyes.

Thank goodness it's just them and there's no one else around because just as Flippy readies another knife, Splendid grabs him and flies to a hill, fast enough to get there within a minute or so, but not so fast that Flippy dies from the velocity.

It snowed a little bit, but it's enough for Splendid to toss Flippy into.

The cold instantly snaps him out of it and Flippy quickly looks around and asks where they are.

Splendid shrugs and answers the hill, and the realization sets in as Flippy's face drops, groaning and putting his hands over his face.

Splendid sits next to him as Flippy asks if 'it' happened again.

It did, but there was no one outside, so at least it got stopped before anyone got hurt.

Flippy is still crestfallen and rests his head on his arms, which are on his knees.

Splendid asks if he really can't control when he flips out, and Flippy confirms that as much as he can, but he still can't, mainly because when he feels like there's nothing to worry about, he remembers how he got comfortable and confident before and it ruined everything.

And he can't control the world or what randomly happens.

If his instincts say he's in danger, he's using thise same instuncts to keep himself safe.

Splendid digests those words as Flippy takes a breath and stands up, thanking him for the race and apologizes for talking his ear off and snapping on him.

Splendid stands as well and asks if Flippy needs help getting home, to which Flippy politely declines, not wanting to beat Splendid in another race. Splendid narrows his eyes and dares Flippy to repeat that, but Flippy chuckles and says he'll see him around before leaving.

Splendid watches him go and gets to thinking. He and Flippy have been friends for a while, and this stuff with flipping out and all that has been bothering him for a long time. He'd also been informed that Flippy went to Lumpy for help, but it failed miserably, so he was left to deal with it using the medicine he'd been prescribed. Beyond that, nothing seems to have helped him.

He also remembers how he had once had a doctor friend that helped people with addiction and talked with him about how some people aren't addicted to substances, but to feelings or emotions, as a comfort thing.

We don't get any more thoughts because we return to Flippy as he lets himself inside and leans against the door, very much upset with the fact that he lost it in front of one of his friends, especially one loke Splendid, who he rarely flips out on.

And it doesn't help that he hasn't lost it in a very long time.

Because his instincts are going haywire and he just needs to know HOW bad his episodes get, Flippy gets up, grabs a couple party poppers that were left over from a party he was fashionably late to(he had to do a check-in/catch up call with one of his army higher ups so they knew he was okay), and goes down to a basement, one that has a hatch door in the floor rather than a regular door.

He locks it behind him and goes down to a fully concrete basement that has holes and scratches in the concrete, because he's strong.

Here's where that deliberate triggering of trauma and an additional blackout Trigger Warnings come in, because Flippy sets up a camera, that's recoeding, takes one of the party poppers, and squeezes his eyes shut as he pulls the string and sets it off.

Flippy instantly starts seeing that he's back on the battlefield and not in his own basement, and hyperventilates as he sees an enemy standing over him, smirking and gun ready.

Flippy stares up at this enemy, but that fear melts into anger and throws himself into his enemy, landing next to a gun, which he uses to take this enemy out.

No time to relax because he gets grazed by another enemy soldier.

He smiles and chuckles, readying the gun and a knife from his leg before he races forward.

We don't see anything happen, save for black, but we fade to see Flippy coming to on the floor, sweaty, bruised, and knuckles bloody.

He groans and pushes himself up, rubbing his head for a minute before he finally looks around the basement.

The walls and floor are worse than before, but at least the camera is still intake.

Flippy gets up and stops the camera, sitting down as he reminds it back until plays it.

There's no battlefield, no enemies, no threats at all. In the video, Flippy pops the party popper, and clutches his head as he curls into the ground.

He hyperventilates and looks up backing away from someone that isn't even there. At least before he throws himself into the wall a makes a small shelf of knives fall. He mimes shooting the person before grabbing numerous knives and racing toward and hitting the wall and stabbing the wall, even punching and kicking it.

That explains the busted knuckles and bruises.

We don't see the rest of the video, but we do see Flippy's face grow more distressed and upset as he keeps watching himself fight nothing and just beat himself instead.

It is not easy to watch at all.

The video eventually ends with Flippy passing out on the floor, where we caught up with him.

Flippy puts the camera away and leans against the wall.

Guess he's a lot worse than he thought.

He sighs and rests his head against his knees.

Guess he's not leaving the house today either.

Time jump to a week or so later!

It's bright and sunny, and we're checking in on Flaky now as she struggles with some groceries; it originally started as a trip for shampoo and a new toothbrush, but it became a food run as well because she got hungry. She can't really see where she's going, but is trying her best, okay?

Carrying five bags at once a was huge mistake because she trips on a rock and almost falls down.

Almost, because Flippy catches her and helps her back to her feet.

Flaky shrieks and asks who it is.

Flippy decides to mess with her and lowers his voice, asking for either a hello or her life.

Flaky gasps and says he'll get a shoe to his shin, if he doesn't watch himself.

Flippy chuckles and asks if she skipped breakfast again, seeing all the bags she has. Flaky, turning to look at him, corrects him: she DID eat breakfast, but lunch was calling and she couldn't leave it on voice-mail.

Flippy, following along with the analogy, takes a bag or two and advices she try to learn how to BLOCK those calls when they drain her wallet.

Flaky hums, but thanks him for helping, and for the wallet he got her; it's sleek, but holds a lot of money and cards. Or card, which Flippy mutters as they walk to Flaky's house.

Flaky kicks at him, but they half walk, half run to Flaky's house. Once they arrive, Flaky thanks him again for the help and says she'll have a potatoe, butcher beef, apple soup/curry waiting for him next time he comes over.

Flippy chuckles and agrees, countering he'll bring her a cake SMOTHERED in sugar, cubes, chunks, powered, candy, caramel, all that garbage so that her teeth fall out and he can help her get METAL teeth instead.

Flaky sets down her groceries and stamps her foot, saying Flippy is not her father.

They still hug each other and Flippy leaves, telling her to take care of herself.

He continues on his walk and pays attention to the birds that are singing and wind blowing through the trees.

No time to fully appreciate it because Splendid turns a corner and Flippy waves him over, much to the superhero's delight.

They quickly touch in and ask how the other has been before Flippy interests Splendid for another race, 'the only rule is win' edition.

Splendid has a better idea: coffee. He had just finished some errands and was on his way home when he and Flippy ran into each other.

The invite seems iffy, but Flippy accepts, not wanting to run off like last time.

They walk and Splendid's smile drops a little, which draws Flippy's attention, the ex-soldier asking if everything's okay.

Splendid nods, saying everything's fine. He's just had some stuff on his mind that he can talk about when they get to his house.

Flippy stops for a second and watches Splendid continue walking, following behind more cautiously.

Cut to Splendid's house as the superhero fixes himself and his guest some coffee, though Flippy is slow to drink his because it doesn't smell like black coffee.

When asked, Splendid explains that the grounds were a little stale. He'd bought some that was fresh, but didn't want the old stuff to go to waste.

It calms Flippy enough for him to take a drink of coffee. He also asks what's been eating at Splendid, even apologizing for leaving him hanging last week.

Splendid shakes his head. Water under the bridge, everyone has their moments.

Speaking of moments, Splanedid asks if Flippy's been better since their race.

He shrugs, admitting that he's had worse happen, but that still doesn't make it good or even okay.

Splendid asks if he's ever gotten help for his 'issues' and Flippy asks back if he thinks Lumpy is really as good at everything as he thinks. Splendid supposes not, all things considered.

Done with the interview, and taking a drink of more coffee, because he's tired, Flippy asks what Splendid's deal REALLY is, and why he's so interested in Flippy's personal issues.

Splendid gives it to him straight: he's noticed that Flippy's trauma is bothering him on a pretty big level, and it has him worried for his friend, not because he can hurt people, but because he's seeing how unhappy Flippy is, and how much it tolls on him. He's had SOME experience with people who've had similar problems to Flippy's and there's a sort of therapy that's helped them. Granted, he knows Flippy doesn't enjoy flipping out, but, in a sick sense, his mind and body do. And there's a way to trick his mind into pushing his instincts away and leaving him with a normal life.

Flippy keeps his head propped up on an arm and finishes his coffee, so tired that he's barely listening and is instead asking for a fresh mug, because he doesn't understand either.

Splendid only takes his empty mug and suggests he's probably had enough coffee; he'll be up all night, if he drinks more than one cup and, as he's already said, Lumpy is a terrible doctor and will say he's about to die and overlook that he's just high of caffeine.

Flippy laughs and shakes his head, asking if Splendid is a better doctor and scoffing that he can take Lumpy.

He stops laughing when he sees that Splendid is straight faced and looks a little apologetic.

Yeah. Heavily delayed, 'oh shit!' moment for Flippy, who now realizes that there was something IN his coffee; he knows what stale coffee tastes like because he once suffered through a month of the stuff.

And he can't flip out on Splendid because he's too tired, so he's left to try running for the door.

That fails, too, so he can only pull and push himself away from Splendid, who apologizes for lying and for making Flippy go into such a panic, all the same he's just trying to help him and hopes he both forgives him and understands where he's coming from.

Flippy only keeps trying to get away, weakly telling Splendid to stay away from him.

From Flippy's blurry and world-spinny eyes, Splendid is the General from the Tiger Bomb mission, said General kneeling in front of him and smirking as Flippy knocks out with a sigh/groan.

Flippy doesn't wake up until MUCH later. He's got a splitting headache and, upon seeing all of the white-ish walls around him, sighs that he really must've fucked himself up when he set off that party popper, rubbing his head as he does so.

That's when he notices the handcuff and chain on his wrist, one that keeps him chained to one of the walls. He checks his other hand and sees that there's an identical handcuff on his wrist, also connecting him to the wall.

Not a dream.

Before Flippy can lose it, he sees a door open and Splendid walk in, looking very sheepish despite being the stronger of the two at the moment.

Before he can get any words out, Flippy charges toward him, at least until he's stopped by the chains.

It still makes Splendid jump back; powers be damned, if Flippy's mad at you, your days are numbered.

Splendid, from his place against the opposite wall, asks quite stupidly if Flippy's mad.

No. He's not mad at all. He's having the best damn day of his life, thank you for asking.

Sarcasm. All sarcasm that Splendid misses and is relieved by.

That relief vanished when Flippy charges again, pulling the handcuffs enough to make himself bleed.

Flippy demands to know what the hell is going on and why he's handcuffed in a padded cell.

When Flippy starts pulling a little too hard, like he's pulling hard enough to dent the chain links out of place, Splendid acts fast and aims a spray bottle at Flippy, and sprays water on him.

When Flippy backs down, Splendid repeats what he said upstairs, especially apologizing for not explaining how he was going to help him.

Flippy banks up, stands down, and sits down criss-crossstyle, which makes Splendid let out a sigh of relief, following his friend so they're sitting across from each other.

Flippy asks what EXACTLY Splendid was thinking when he drugged Flippy's coffee and then took Flippy to a loaded cell in his basement.

Splendid explains that he was just thinking and didn't regard what would have happened, even admitting that drugging the coffee wasn't his best or first plan; somehow sneaking up behind him with a nasty was, but that seemed insulting to Flippy's skills, so he thought about just working him out with races and exercise until Flippy passed out. That seemed like the most painful option, and the most tiring because wherever Flippy would fall would be unpredictable, so he just went south putting something in his coffee so he'd go unconscious for a little while.

Flippy takes all of this in and asks why Splendid didn't just ASK him to try this treatment he was babbling about earlier and Splendid admits that it's used for addicts to help them stop using whatever substance they're on. It's a pretty brutal technique, but it has worked.

The brutal part has Flippy concerned, so he asks what that means.

Splendid stops beating around the brush: aversion therapy. Using old war footage and medicine to make Flippy not want to go on a rampage whenever he gets triggeres.

Flippy stares at Splendid for a minute before taking off his boot and throwing it at him, asking if he's out of his damn mind.

That's not how his 'issues' work. Aversion therapy is meant to change another person so they AVERT away from something. Besides, what if they go through the therapy and Flippy's ordered backninto service, but ends up dead because he can't rely on his instincts?

Problem solved already because, as Splendid points out, Flippy's on a paid leave; his job is to stay OUT of the army now.

Flippy readies his other boot and Splendid backs down. Yes, he could've been more open about this to him. Yes, the whole chained to the wall in a basement thing is WAY too far. Yes, he should have told him as soon as he can, and he's sorry he didn't.

Flippy calms down and asks why he thinks it will work. No offense, but this is already working less than anythung Lumpy did, and the fool hypnotized himself into being a chicken.

Splendid admits he isn't sure, but he still wants to try to help.

Flippy asks what he'll do if he refuses to try this therapy. He's already on pills.

Splendid shrugs and says that while he'll be disappointed, he'll understand and won't be mad. Again, he just wants to help his friend and this is something that's worked for other people, not the chaining to the wall thing, but the aversion and sensory friendly environment, hence the padded room that isn't white, just a very light grey mixed with some blue, which is a calming color.

Flippy considers it for a minute before askung Splendid if he absolutely knows what he's doing.

Splendid nods. It took him a little freshing up and some review from a friend of his, yes. He knows what he's doing.

Flippy eyes him for a second before nodding, agreeing. Despite not saying it out loud, he wants to live life without worrying about killing everyone or snapping because his old instincts getting the better of him.

But stipulates that as soon as things get REALLY bad, they're calling this whole thing off and won't have anything to do with each other after that point.

Splendid rightfully agrees to those terms and tells Flippy to follow him to another room.

Flippy holds up his hands, reminding him of the handcuffs.

Those come off and the two leave the room, Flippy hoping Splendid was good on his word that he knew what he was doing.

Splendid shares a similar sentiment, instead hopi g that he can help his friend have a normal life.

#happy tree friends #htf flippy #htf splendid #htf au #fanfic #sort of an au and fanfic #i hope i portrayed Splendid as trying to do the right thing here #ptsd tw #hallucination tw #drugging tw #splendid is both a good friend and terrible friend #deliberate triggering tw

[the-writers-bookshelf]

It's Friday and thankfully I remembered before bed.

My wip is unconventional in that the "plot" is just character development. That's all I care about with books and it was all I wanted to write. Brief TW for those who decide to read: this wip deals with a lot of mental health issues, bigotry, and talks about sex and asexuality (there's a more graphic *warning that applies which I will tag before said character's paragraph). While I won't be going into detail I feel y'all deserve to be warned.

The story features three main characters:

Alvere Duval, an autistic gay ace man of colour who was stuck with crappy parents until he hit 19, at which point he ran away with his best friend to bunk with his boyfriend. Alvere's main arch (to put it very simply) is about him learning to love and accept himself despite all the horrific shit his parents and peers said about him. He deals with self-hatred, internalized ableism, homophobia, and acephobia, pretty nasty C-PTSD and anxiety, I could go on but we'd be here all day (this poor man). His secondary arch revolves around his desire to build a shelter for LGBTA+ youths who are homeless or stuck with crappy parents like he was. My favorite thing about writing for him is the confrontation scene he has with his mother near the end of the book. In many ways he was close to her and loved her to death, but his best friend and boyfriend could see how casually dismissive she was towards his ability to form his own opinions and knew she was complacent in the horrible way his father treated him. Part of him knows that too, but he's terrified of losing the idealized version of her he has in his head bc it's one of the only good memories from his childhood. Yes I cry every time I think about it and love projecting onto my own characters why do you ask?

Next up is Jack Felicity, a mute non-binary aroace indigenous person, and Alvere's best friend. Their main arch is about them processing the damage theirs and Alvere's early friendship did to them, as it was extremely co-dependent and drained them of any and all personality they once had. Add ADHD and depression to that mix, and about half way through the book they realize they literally have no idea who they are outside of "Alvere's Friend" and have to rebuild themself with the support of their mom, their new friends, and Alvere himself now that they've started working through their dependency issues. Their secondary arch revolves around them learning that sometimes second chances are worth the risk of betrayal, and that losing a friend is hard but it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean they failed. My favorite scene I've written with them is when they reconcile with their mom who, while not nearly as bad as Al's, still made some mistakes in the past. I love it bc she acknowledges that she was wrong and apologizes to Jack for being insensitive in regards to their depression. If only more parents did that.

Lastly we have Carlo, a bi gnc trans man, and Alvere's boyfriend. (*TW for mentioned substance abuse, underage sex work & grooming. "Easy to digest" I said. "For fun" I said. I'll italicize the sentences so you can skip em). Carlo's main arch revolves around him learning to respect people with different boundaries. He was exploited and groomed into sex work at the age of 16 and though he's since escaped his abusers, he never got to process his trauma authentically before he and Al got together. Whereas Carlo's a touchy guy and doesn't really have a concept of personal space (since he wasn't allowed to if he wanted to have enough money to eat), he doesn't really get Al's touch aversion or Jack's trust issues and ends up making an ass of himself on multiple occasions. He always does his best to make up for it though, since he knows damn well how awful it feels to have one's boundaries invaded like that, and knows that just because he doesn't understand them doesn't mean they aren't valid. His secondary arch is about his reliance on substances (cigarettes and alcohol) to numb the pain of his past. With the help of his loved ones and a slap in the face courtesy of his own inebriated behavior, he starts taking steps to recover. My favorite thing about writing for him is how he reacts to Al's asexuality. Despite being hypersexual in the beginning (bc trauma) and still enjoying it as the book goes on, he's very supportive of Al and makes several points of letting him know he never has to give him anything he's not ready for, which culminates in one long chapter of Al getting the mushy gushy date he deserves bc fuck acephobes.

This project started off as individual vignettes to get me back into writing and evolved into a slice of life story about these three growing up and falling in love (platonically and romantically) with each other. There's a lot more to it that I didn't cover bc I don't wanna give everything away, but I have like no one to talk to about this and my first draft is almost done and I'm excited so. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings.

Hi lovely! Your WIP is AMAZING and I love it!! I decided to copy/paste it into a post (and tagged you in it!) so I could put the more sensitive topics under a cut. But PLEASE don't feel like I'm sensoring you because that is not my intention at all! It's just a precaution ♥

Your work is REALLY important! Especially when it comes to asexuality! I'm on the ace spectrum myself and there is absolutely a HUGE need for writing like yours in this world, spreading awareness and making it NORMAL! Thank you so much for your wonderful writing! :)