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jimlingss · 10 months

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two years!! :D it’s been two years since my final curtain call and seven years since Jimlingss began! Seven years!!! Now that’s a crazy yet meaningful number!

Hello to everyone reading this message :D hopefully you remember me (it’s ok if you don’t) and for those who care, hopefully this is a treat! just a quick update on my life — I successfully completed my first year of law school and what a whirlwind it’s been.

I’ve had so many ups and downs in the past year and I honestly feel like I’ve changed a lot. like evolved from pichu to pikachu. It was my first time moving away from home, away from my parents, and making so many friends. it’s been 20% bitter and 80% sweet. overall, I feel like I’ve learnt so much about myself and became a lot more stable in who I am.

school is hard but completely manageable. luckily, I don’t think my choice was wrong. there are days I quite enjoy what I’m learning. I got 2 years left in the game. soon (hopefully) I’ll be making the big bucks $$$ and I’ll be able to fund my sugar baby dreams (except I’ll also be my own sugar mommy). Although my dating life is as stale as always with 0 movement, I’ve become close with a handful of folks that I hold dearly to my heart. guess I’m in my friendship arc hahahaha

funny enough, I actually came back to this blog out of my own volition 2 weeks ago and re-read some of my stories. I feel so nostalgic. some of my stories really slap ngl. anyway, I really miss creative writing so much. Fortunately, there’s a few extracurriculars at school that allow me to write creatively so it’s somewhat of an outlet for me. it’s not fully satisfying but it’s something!!

I regularly come back to tumblr to check messages and do plagiarism checks lol. Speaking of which, I’ll take this time to answer some messages in my inbox.

unfortunately, i don’t have any socials that anyone can follow me on. my socials are pretty private and only the people who i’m close to, I follow and vice versa. but no worries because I will always come back to this blog to do a yearly update so you’ll hear from me! I will satiate your curiosity if you’re every curious about what I’m up to!!

for anyone who ever messages me compliments to my stories and/or missing my presence, no worries, I read them all :) your messages and feedback is never lost! it’s very sweet and always warms my heart.

if you can’t reach my masterlist, it’s here lol

I’ve kind of fallen off my fic reading game so if you ask me if I know a specific fic, I won’t be much of help unfortunately ://

if my fics ever help you through hard times, then I’m super glad!!! life can undoubtably be downright terrible. life can really really suck (understatement). but I think it’s comforting to know that everyone at some point thinks the same. it’s a universal sentiment - and in that, you’re not alone.

anyway, that’s it for now! you’ll hear from me again!

I’ll be back! And I hope you will too! :>

#also more updates I guess - I did indeed travel to Japan this year!#it was a blast #in terms of the book writing process #my brain has not been operating in that way so I still am at a standstill #I actually had a dream recently that I couldn't even write a poem #hahaha my book writing dreams haven't died tho - I'LL DO IT ONE DAY #on another note - I haven't been keeping up with BTS that much #other than knowing that Jin and Hoseok have headed off to the army #which imo is a good thing cause that makes us one day closer to an ot7 album again #also Jimin's solo slaps #Like Crazy and Alone are on my playlist woooo #what bangers #I hope everyone has been doing well #I am manifesting success and money and love for everyone who reads this WOOOOOOOOOO #Jimlingss

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turrondeluxe · 2 years

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Do you think Breakdown has nightmares about what happened with MECH? I think Knock Out would be a nice thing to wake up to if he ever has night terrors

(P.S: Do transformers even have nightmares?)

Oh he definitely has

#i like to think they do indeed dream #added to all the time from war and shit his night terrors just get worse #knock out there's for him when he realizes something wrong #(I think bd doesnt really tell knock out when hes having one of his night terrors)#having knock out with him always calms him down tho #also just wanted to tell that i drew this while listening to jack stauber's Just Take My Wallet on loop #and the whole What's the softest way to say #until the end of the song just makes me think of ko slowly losing bd off because of the trauma until he becomes a shell of a man (bot)#((quite literally))#also hey yall how are yall doing #im doing Awful but hey! this ask was from april and its answered now B)#might answer a bit more before the semester starts again #ask #anon #tfp #transformers prime #tfp knock out #tfp knockout #tfp breakdown #breakdown #knock out #kobd #maccadam #doodles #my art

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quirkle2 · 1 year

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my fav pets from cs :) [please zoom in . pl ease]

[designs belong to chickensmoothie]

#qkdraws #i know this isn't gonna get a lot of notes so reminder: reblogs r very appreciated #chicken smoothie #bit of an oddball here !#if anybody doesn't know what chicken smoothie is;#it's a fun little pet-collecting site :) u adopt little sillies n trade them with other users. it's nice #i've been on cs since 2013 and have thankfully collected some of my dream pets in the process :]#the velociraptor's name is valon and i love him dearly #the cool lookin purple wolf is a shima longtail and her name is mal :)#when i first joined cs she had been my dreamie for Years #and when i finally got her i was like . the happiest 12 year old in existence #anyway i still love her very much . i cherish her she'll prolly always be my fav #the pumpkin pie with a face on it IS indeed a pet #i got him very recently actually . he was also a dreamie #and i gave my trading partner like . my entire stock of rares that i had saved up over the course of my 10ish years of playing #as well as like . C$1000+#basically sold my soul for that guy GVEYAIGV #idk why i like him so much he's just . so thoughtless and silly #the other three wolves at the top aren't particularly rare or in demand i just like them #the grey one with the blue accessories and the floating crown is shilao . he is gentle and silly #the one next to him w the scarf is ren . he is jaded and withdrawn but shilao brings him out of his shell etc etc #they sit right next to each other in my pet groups and i have labeled them ''GAY LOVERS'' . bc they ARE #and the cool glowing one is just a staff pet that looked badass i love him #anyway apologies for the random doodles of a game but im assuming not many people know of #i just enjoy them :)

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ikemengoessbrrrrr · 7 months

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FROM YOUR DREAM || OC CROSSOVER

Honestly, Baron didn't expect his day start with Haru slamming into the Bureau with a 'stranger' following her, saying that this person needed their help.

Baron didn't mind, really. He adored Haru for always helping people in need whenever she could…. Did Haru say she found him inside her room? Watching her sleep???

Zenth Wizdom, he told his name.

From his appearance, it was clear that he was from another world and seemed to hold a higher status from the way he spoke. Zenth explained that he came from a dream, which is why he ended up in Haru's room. Muta said it didn't make sense, and Baron kind of agreed with him. Why Haru? Was this guy the one Haru had dreamt about? Baron glared at him.

Sensing his agitation, Haru immediately stated that she didn't remember dreaming about him. However, she did catch a glimpse of him. Zenth chuckled, casually and shamelessly admitting that he watched her dream because it seemed interesting. He said this as he glanced at the gentleman cat. Okay, that sounded creepy, everyone agreed. Zenth only stared in confusion, saying he always watched people dream in his spare time and saw nothing wrong with it as long as he didn't interfere.

Well, that failed, knowing he was with them now.

Baron tried not to lunge at him after hearing the story, forgetting the fact that he was curious about Haru's dream. Zenth didn't sound like a danger. No, he was honest, VERY honest, and it pissed him off.

It looked really ridiculous; Zenth was a nice guy, always smiling, with an undertone of innocence about him. He was also a gentleman. Baron didn't understand why he needed to be cautious, especially when he saw how happy Haru looked talking to this person. Baron didn't understand why he clenched his fist every time Zenth made Haru laugh—they seemed close. He felt ignored.

Then, the icy blue eyes met his.

"Don't be jealous, Baron. I'm not interested in her that way," Zenth said, still smiling.

A sigh of relief… huh, why did he feel relieved knowing that?

It didn't last long when Zenth opened his mouth again. "But I like her enough to make me want to visit her dreams every night." There was no smugness or arrogance in his tone; he just stated it, and his smile remained genuine.

Ok, Baron couldn't stand this guy.

#My fav oc this time!#and playing around with the concept #they way he 'watched' people's dream indeed sound weird but it is one of the job of people in the dream world #and... its not Zenth's job. He is kinda rebelious #Oh and don't worry he is a good person #Too good tho and yea we can see from Baron's sgdghsgd #another post that made me remeber I can write #I have many OCs but lowkey having hard time what crossover I do next #IF there's next one LMAO #the cat returns #tcr #tcr fanart #baron humbert von gikkingen #haru yoshioka #oc #original character #nev's oc

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maegalkarven · 6 months

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Dreams of Red.

Characters: Enver Gortash, Dark Urge (Nemo).

Set between Empty Prayers and returning to BG in act 3.

Nemo dreams, Gortash wakes up.

TW: blood (mention), physical abuse (mention), choking, suggestive, not toxic but also not a healthy relationship (meaning they are awful but together kind of cancel it for each other).

He dreams of home; not the home in the flesh, but that place of dark alcoves and labyrinths made out of caves. He dreams of blood rivers running down the steps, of red fire lit sockets on a giant skull.

He dreams of his assassins, the unlucky souls who fated to meet him once and were damned enough to be caught in his gaze.

The First kneels before the altar, a tribute plastered on it, eyes closed in a reverent prayer.

She does not actually pray, somehow he knows it as well as he knows how many heartbeats are currently booming inside these halls.

The First is deep in thoughts and her thoughts are dark knots of resentment, anger and despair.

She grieves.

"Reaper of Bhaal," they turn around together as one; the girl made murderer made assassin and the benefactor who brought her there. So close to the girl's body he can taste the blood and sweat on her skin, sees dark shadows under her cold calculating eyes.

"Orin," falls from the First's lips. This is disobedience, he knows it somehow, for she is not simply Orin, but the Chosen of Bhaal.

Or is she?

"Look at what you have done," Orin-not-Orin says and her voice ricochets from the ceiling. It sounds...different.

It multiplies and shakes, and twists, and then suddenly its Sceleritas' voice.

Orin keeps opening and closing her mouth, but the sound he hears does not come from her.

"Look at the deeds of your disobedience. Once proud Temple of the most Gracious of the gods, now intruded upon by a mindless, senseless being you were supposed to enslave," an invisible hand closes over his throat, constricting the air.

He sees black and then red and then - Father.

Father is angry and that anger washes over him in waves, breaking his skin and piercing soft innards.

•••

He is seven again, bloodied heap of limbs on the floor as his caretaker walks around in circles.

"You're weak," Sarevok speaks. The boy hates Sarevok for how much his approval means to him. "You're fragile. You disappoint Father with your single existence. Stand up," a blunt hit across the spine. "Stand up and learn." Another hit. "Prove yourself worthy to be called a Child of Bhaal."

He is seven and he already talks more than he should, so he asks.

"Like you?"

Sarevok's unnaturally bright eyes blaze and the next hit landing on the boy makes him black out for a moment.

"Stand up," he hears again as his conscience returns. "Or die a scum and come back to Him graceless."

He stands up.

•••

Blood fills up his mouth, blood fills up his lungs. He gasps, choking, fighting the gravity - and swims up.

The pool is deeper than it should have been, the sacrificial room is darker, and Father's presence pierces his skull like thousand of red hot needless.

"Beloved son," Sarevok announces and the Echoes repeat. "Prodigal son, bathed in sacrificial blood in Your name, Father. Greet the unholy assassin born anew, Lord Bhaal, grace him with your presence."

He wants to step back, to avoid what is to come, but Bhaal is in his mind in an instance: an endless, darkest, bloodiest night.

The presence of Father is so strong the boy feels his own mind disappear, drown in the sheer force of his father's love.

Finally. He is worthy.

•••

Hands - bloodied, sheets - bloodied. Body after body, cold bed, red bed, sacrificial bed. Lover after lover, dead, dead, dead, dead.

Until the last one.

Until-

•••

He wakes up to the scene of Enver's flushed up face beneath him, the assassin's hands grasping at his throat firmly, pressing down, down, down, until the windpipe gives out, until the light leaves the eyes-

Nemo breaks the hold and collapses into the bed; not his bed, but the one he managed to crawl into in his sleep regardless. Gortash goes into the fit of coughs, proving once again how alive he still is.

Finally the man calms it down and tries his voice, hoarse from all the abuse.

"Good morning to you too."

Nemo doesn't reply, face digging into the rough pillows bellow - they used to be much softer than that - covering himself with Enver's blankets.

"Nemo," he refuses to answer. "Oh, for fuck's sake," the covers are dragged off his head, said head - turned.

Bluish bruises slowly imprint themselves on Enver's neck, prominent even in the dim light of the tent.

He appears to be annoyed.

"I said," the lord repeats. "Good morning."

Nemo contemplates tearing into this throat with bare teeth and chewing his way into the sweet red embrace of it.

"Nemo."

"Morning," he grumbles, unhappy. With this, with them, with the way Enver doesn't even look surprised, doesn't even care he almost died.

Again. He almost died again.

Something in the man's face softens.

"Bad dream?" And it's a cue for Nemo to crawl closer, to plant his face directly into the throat he was just squeezing the life out of, to put his lips to a pulse line and drink in the sound.

"Umgh," he replies unhelpfully. "Father is angry with me."

He can't remember the last time Father was not angry with him.

Enver sighs.

"At least he's still with you."

Nemo bites into the soft flesh slightly and then licks down at the bite.

"I wish he wouldn't," the admittance is so quiet it should be impossible to hear. Enver hears it anyway.

"And what would you do," a soft touch to his temple, nails scratching at the nape of his neck. Nemo feels his body relax at the merest of the contact. "If he'd let you go?"

"Whatever the fuck I want," another half-hearted bite. Enver always tastes divine. It makes Nemo want to tear at his flesh, crawl into his ribcage and stay there, forever as one. "Whoever I want."

"Oh?" His lover chuckles at that. "Have a list of men you want to fuck without killing them?"

No, Nemo thinks. Well, maybe. Not a list, no, but-

"I'd love to wake up someday without my body moving on its accord," he grumbles, tracing a scar down Enver's torso. A long and rigged thing running all the way to his abdomen. One of the earliest marks Nemo has left on him.

"I'm still alive," Gortash reads between the lines.

"You seem to be incredibly unbothered by the way I go for your throat, not even metaphorically speaking," the spawn comments. "Figures you'd be into me failing to kill you."

"You're not failing," Enver's breath burns into his hair, his touch uncharacteristically gentle. "You stray your hand."

"One day I won't."

"Today is not that day."

"You keep saying it every time it happens."

"I am alive every time it happens."

There's blood underneath his nails: it tastes sour.

There's also a row of deep red lines scratched somewhere into Enver's flesh.

Nemo snuggles up closer.

"I hate everything in this world but you," he confesses.

His lordling hums.

"I consider you a rare feat of a person who delights me more than not," he replies.

Nemo laughs.

"Smooth, motherfucker."

Enver gasps, fake-scandalized.

"But dearest, you don't even have a mother for me to fuck."

The spawn giggles like a lovesick girl and closes his eyes.

After a moment he opens his mouth again.

"How is," and how do you say it? How is everything? How are the ruins of your life? How does everyone at the camp treat you?

How does he say what he wants to say without, you know, actually saying it?

"Is Bane still silent?" He resolves on and then mentally kicks himself. Of fucking course Bane is still silent.

But again, so is Gortash.

"Yes," he replies after such suffocating pause Nemo started to wonder who was chocking who. "I...don't think he'll answer."

"I wish Bhaal would shut the fuck up," Nemo blurts and receives a surprised chuckle into his hair.

"Have you tried telling him that?" Even without looking up Nemo knows Gortash is smiling.

"Do you really think father dearest would listen?" He grumbles back. "He just gave me a lecture on how bad of a son I am."

"Aren't we all?" Enver's hands move in soothing circles up and down his lower stomach, inciting a rush of goosebumps and a wave of heat. Nemo catches one of the hands and moves it even lower.

"I'm going to be the absolute nightmare to be in any relation to," he states as Enver's swift fingers start doing their job.

"You're absolute nightmare in any other accord too," his lover murmurs into his ear, bringing out the first breathless sigh out of his lips. "And I don't think I'd want you any other way."

Well, if this is what Enver's into, who is Nemo to deny him?

•••

Karlach glares at the column of Gortash's neck with a scowl so deep it should have been cut directly into her skin, not pulled up by the muscles.

"I didn't do that to myself," Enver comments for some goddamn reason, making the entire situation more awkward than it already was.

The wizard chokes on air.

"Yeah, we didn't really think you did," former sharran comments, eyes darting to where Nemo is seated, stoically ignoring any inquiring gazes straying his way. "That would be anatomically impossible."

"You never know," the lord feels the need to argue. "I am man of many talents."

The vampire spawn snorts.

"Something tells me this is the product of someone else's talents," he comments.

Young Ravengard clears his throat.

"I have questions," he admits.

Enver seizes him with a stare.

"And do you want to hear the answers?"

"Not...really, no."

"Good. It seems we are on the same page then."

"I hate this fucking family," Karlach murmurs.

"Darling," the vampire starts. "I am touched! But also this one is more dysfunctional than the family I left behind, and those were the vampire spawns."

"My father is the God of Murder," Nemo comments from the distance. "How about that for dysfunctional?"

"And aren't you a walking red flag, my dear."

"Hey, excuse me, I'm the nicest murder incarnate you'd ever meet-"

This entire group of losers, Gortash decides. Is a freak show.

It might be just worthwhile enough to stick around.

#durgetash #dark urge x gortash #gortash x durge #dark urge: nemo #empty prayers au #the first is clotilda #bhaal sees nemo's children in numbers and nemo watches the dream through his father's gaze #nemo is sulking bc he almost killed Gortash again meanwhile gortash is like: oh just another day in the live of bhaalspawn's lover.#the sheer confidence that one has what nemo will always stray his hand is. uh. enver dear. this is not sane. or safe #it indeed is consentual

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