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fishtre · 3 years

Note

Oh lord your work has honestly has got to be one of the things that truly cemented me into being a Jason fan when I started to enter the fandom. I just wanted to ask; Has Dick or Bruce ever seen Jason (or even Jessie; im a fuckibg lesbian for her) while they were at a low point? Or have they ever seen something in Jay's behavior that seriously made them stop and think for a moment?

Oof-!!! o-okay. I wasn't ready for this. So many responsibilities??? Thanks and welcome! XD

*****

> Have they ever seen something in Jay's behavior that seriously made them stop and think for a moment?

This goes for Jay and Femjay

For Dick: No. Dick and Jason aren’t close. They know each other through Bruce who is this deforming prism between them: lingers even in his absence. This + a lack of a relationship = Dick's empathy sleeping where Jason is involved since day one. Meanwhile, Jason just doesn't trust Dick nor expect his sympathy as the replacement goldfish Bruce picked up (or the outlaw Jason later become). They avoid/ignore rather than seek/antagonize each other (unless the situation demands violence). Hence, it’s not granted Dick could recognize the moment for what it was and not chalk it up as “classic Jason”.

As for Bruce: short answer is YES. Their whole history is paved with moments where Bruce has (usually late) epiphanies about Jason and himself. And this’ pretty much how Jason got benched after a rapist went flying through a balcony to meet the concrete twenty floors lower.

More to say, so long AF rant below the cut. Mostly about canon interpretation I use for characterisation + some side notes about Femjay at the very end. The essential is above tho.

Starts with “Batman the Cult”:

Aka Batman goes missing while investigating an underground sect that kidnaps homeless people. When Jason finally finds him, Bruce is a drugged, tortured, half-raving mad man on a pile of corpses who've been living in the sewers for weeks. Jason tries to bring Batman to his senses and at the surface but he's so damaged in and out that Robin has to guide him back home like a lost child. Eventually they get surrounded by the cult members. After a "it was an honor to meet and fight with you sir" Robin got outflanked. Begs Bruce to help as a crowd of drugged hobos tries to literally tear him apart. Jason is like 14-15yo and it takes these three "adult fears" in a row (child going “yolo” + child protecting the powerless adult + watching child get almost killed) for Bruce to finally fight back and save the day.

Which brings us to the following event: The rapist and the balcony :p. Bruce can't prove if Jason committed the crime or not so the act in itself isn't the point. Jason admitting he didn't try to catch the falling rapist, no feeling remorse to potentially causing someone's death is what alarms Bruce here.

Between the Cult and this, for me it's definitely when Bruce first gets blessed with many epiphanies; 1) Jason’s attitude toward death, his or the crooks' lives, his soldier-like devotion to Bruce during the Cult is alarming. 2) Turns out Jason have different opinions regarding Justice, the right to redemption or vigilantism. Opinions that are pretty irreconcilable with Bruce’s. 3) He's not shaking the grip Gotham has on the boy at all (his reason or excuse to take Jason in at first.) 4) Jason's indulging Bruce and playing by his rules because love and respect (he hopes), not because Jason understands or believes in Bruce's methods or share his creeds. 5) He may had been emotionally compromised when he took in Jason (as Dick accuses him to be) and had been making thing worse for the boy, failing Jason as a mentor/guardian and an adult.

As the “greatest detective”, it weighs on Bruce that he ultimately failed Jason in knowing the boy and providing what he needs; his guilt and irresponsibility catching up to him all at once. From Bruce’s perspective, this has cost a man's life and Jason’s “innocence”, simply because he (or anyone) didn’t manage to see Jason for who he is; a more troubled child than he or Dick ever was, and that despite having all the clues in the world to figure it out. In result Jason and Robin are benched. Jason dies before Bruce can find what he should do. That's it. UTRH could be seen as Jason at a low point I guess. But special mention to when Bruce "walks away" to not choose between Red Hood and Joker before aiming a batarang at RH's gun, Jason sits down in silence and simply gives up; resigned to wait for the bomb to blow up, not caring if Bruce or Joker get away or die with him. A stark contrast to how determined and mouthy he's been until then. Jason "accepts" what he sees as Bruce's choice: that Joker is more or equally as important to him than Jason. Bruce has to pull him away from the worst of the blast so it's fair to say that he must notice. It doesn't manage to make Bruce stops and thinks, but the conclusion to that story on Bruce's side this time is that while Jason is back and alive, the event in UTRH achieved to kill the boy he knew and lost.

As for femjay, here a bit more trivia just for her AU:

Dick first thought after discovering that new Robin was a tomboy, whom Bruce also addresses or presents as one 90% of the time does alarms him a bit in the midst of his confusion. But when he half-questions Jason about it, she mocks him about this incident and shuts him off with a "none of your beeswax". Fuming, Dick brushes it off as being some kind of pervert game between Bruce and Jason, be it Bruce trying to replace and hurt him, introverted misogyny, lesbian culture or whatever. None of his beeswax. He doesn't look deeper into it. He leaves Gotham and only comes back for her "funeral". As a general rule, looking into Jason- related stuff and not minding his business when she is involved, always ends up biting Dick in the arse.

Bruce never really brushes the subject of what Jason may have done or not in order to survive on the streets for two years or why her parents gave her a boy name. He takes what Jason gives him on this (which is little) and doesn't pry into it further since Jason's medical checkups are fairly good and promising. Jason is a girl who prefers to blend in as a boy and Bruce plays along, secretly relieved because Bruce has no idea how to deal with a pre-teen/teenage girl. So yeah; he's scared and this is a blessing for him and she looks happy like that. Bruce avoids using pronouns to avoid confusion himself (which is partly why Dick got so confused by Jason's gender when they first met).

Nobody but Alfred realizes she starts corseting herself with bandages and a sports bra by the end of second year at the manor. Or that she buys pads and razors on the dozen with who knows what money since she asks for nothing. Old-fashioned Wayne's British butler is barely more at ease with Jason's womanhood than Bruce, but Al does take the initiative to give her an allowance so she can buy underwears when she first arrives. He simply raises that allowance to cover her new needs with a cryptic and awkward explanation. But because Jason doesn't know how to choose a bra she sticks to what she knows, aka; keeps wearing a sports bra and flattening her chest as best as she can while residing at the Manor. By the time she comes back as Red Hood, Jason is too curvy to hide so she doesn't. Also; Talia... While she still was only trying to use Jason against or to win Bruce back, she's appalled to learn what Jason used to do to her breasts, and took pity of her. She forcefully take Jason out shopping for her first actual bra at 17-18 yo and teach her some more basics.

#reply #jason and the curse of the anime tiddies AU #aye 2/10 answers answered #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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wigglebox · 3 years

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Okay, I’m starting to feel insane. It’s not just creation that’s keeping destiel from being talked about, right? Didn’t Misha say in some virtual panel that Warner Bros. forbade him from saying certain things about Cas? Even if we somehow convinced creation to end their homophobic policy, wouldn’t the cast still be censored by the WB? Especially Jensen since chaos machine’s home is the WB?

Idk if he said certain things about Cas but just that impersonating the character because it's not his character to make money off of. RE: sounding like him, dressing like him, pretending to act like him while also taking $$$ for cameos.

idk what the legal things are.

but he's made comments alluding to the fact that these types of questions aren't usually allowed or asked or whatever. @starkytower at the kansas city con asked him if it was okay that we ask these questions, because some in fandom were convinced that they didn't want to be asked these questions or just weren't allowed to ask them. and he said yes, which is part of the reason why i feel like he's adamant on people asking them now and giving people the context that they usually aren't asked, or aren't allowed to be asked.

idk if creation has a homophobic policy but they do need some retraining and rethinking in that company. they are liscened with WB i think? i forgot how the legal thing works lol.

i think the person who is censored the most is jensen which makes me sad to say. his character didn't get the ending that misha's character did and didn't get to say those words. there seems to be some kind of tug of war with dean and it makes me sad.

i'm presuming that CMP went in with WB specifically for SPN projects, but also that the WB may have been the first to really offer them a job — though i don't think they would have taken that blindly. the biggest change happens from within.

i'm rambling lol.

i think the cast is still yes somewhat censored by the WB, but i don't think it's cas as a character that's being censored. i think another one is. and that creates a domino effect. misha won't talk really about a character that he didn't play [he's gotten in the vague area of that] and vise versa. they aren't in panels together. they don't take questions together. this was the first SPN con back. no one knows really what to say because things have been stretched out for so long. i'm fairly certain the subject of talking about dean as anything other than womanizer whatever is controversial and jensen has eggshells to tiptoe across, yes especially given they're working with the WB.

however, i had the fear that if they did a SPN continuation that destiel wouldn't get the finished arc they deserve because it'd be with the WB still — however again I'm sitll adamant about the 'the biggest change comes from within' thing.

i have hope this will all work out. tho i do wish fandom would give the cast a little bit of a break. we don't know what's happening BTS with the WB, creation, the actors, legal this and allowed that.

#creation bl

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justjstuff · 3 years

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I just wanted to let you know that I am a ginormous fan of DOF and looked forward to Fire Friday every week! Your writing skills are astounding and I’m so thankful for your incredible depiction of Sakura’s bad-ass personality and story in this fic. Not only that, I am amazed at all the consistently LARGE contribution you used to upload weekly because the quality is literally off the charts. I’m so thankful that you’re taking a break because I know that accomplishing all of this as well as you do cannot be easy! Nonetheless, I would like for you to know that you have a huge fan in me and I will continue to look forward to new chapters (whenever they may come-excellence takes time 😉). Really though, I can’t stop gushing about this fic and I guess just thank you for all of the hard work you put in it so people like me can get some free serotonin each time we read it lol. You’re amazing!!

Anon-san, your sweet words give me life, thank you so so much. I've had a lot of people tell me how much the weekly updates were grounding and a breath of fresh air in this pandemilovato but your comment has to be one of the best I've got so far because.... oh man, I desperately need not only others but also myself to realise just how taxing it was.

So yeah, thank you for loving my story but also thank you for reminding myself that it was a HUGE accomplishment and that it's okay if I maybe can't meet it anymore. I've recently begun digging deep into myself and started going to more intensive (and intrusive) therapy and had some diagnosis that are pretty mindblowing in a way and now I'm trying to be mindful not to push myself to my limits. It's hard af, let me tell you, I know the potential I have and it feels normal to always want to achieve it but I gotta remind myself that maybe my "full potential" isn't as healthy as I thought it was.

I'm extremely glad that I got the opportunity to give y'all that experience of nice 8-12k long chapters a week, with lots of character and plot work, at roughly the same time, every Fire Friday. *aggressively throws serotonin everywhere I can •̀.̫•́✧*

(pagebreak bc y'all didn't sign up for hugeass posts in your dash lol)

For a bit of an update on how my process is coming along: I got sick. Covid got me y'all and I still only had the first dose and suffer from asthma so daaamn this motherfucker's got hands. No need to worry about me tho!! My tests are coming back okay and at least my fever is gone BUT that means my brain is a bit like mush rn and while I'm still working, I'm doing so veeery much slower. Anyways, covid was just the cherry on top this month but I don't want to get too deep into it.

I genuinely think Fire Fridays were good not only for you guys (esp during that time back in 2020 where literally everyone was at home and routines were thrown out the window faster than you can say defenestration) but also for me, it gave me a nice sense of "normal" when everything was shit. Uuhh as you've seen in my last AN, I dropped out of college and am currently pursuing other dreams/way of living so I think having that set date will help me A LOT while juggling real life and fandom life. That being said, some things had to change.

First of all is the way of seeing Fire Fridays as if it's a deadline set by my boss. Nah, I don't get paid for writing fanfiction and I'm done treating it as a job. I know not a lot of people have the same care that you did while commenting and there is a lot of nagging and grumbling about Fire Fridays (even if sometimes those comments are even sweet while they do it) but I'm incredibly proud to say that comments from people in the internet I don't know hardly have an affect on me. Lol y'all haters can hate but I'm my worse critic and I fkn know it, nothing you say will change the way I see myself and my work. That being said, a lot of that nagging was being unconsciously done by me *gasp* I know. I'm an overachiever. Shocking.

NO MORE OF THAT.

Next order of business is how I was going about Fire Fridays. My first break came because I literally didn't have any "spare chapters" meaning, I wrote, edited, sent for my Beta to edit, and then edited myself again a whole ass 9k monster every week and that shit was like a kick to the ass right into the general direction of Burnout City. Not fun. So I took a "break" which wasn't really a break because I still wrote 71k words in that month and when I started back up with Fire Fridays, I had a lot of chapters to post, right? WRONG. If each chapter had 10k words (which is roughly what was happening on an average), that meant I only had 7 new chapters to post with severe burnout making it practically impossible for me to write anything else to the point that I couldn't even bring myself to edit the first drafts of those chapters. Again. Not fun.

So now, my idea has been: try to aim for Fire Fridays in a healthy way but also let my readers know they might not get another batch of those lovely what? six months of new chapters every friday. What does that mean? Well, it means I'm trying to write some chapters ahead! So while y'all aren't really getting anything since the last chapter, that has been a conscious decision on my part not to leave y'all with horrible cliffhangers when I can't be sure I'll make quick enough updates (and that definition has changed to maybe twice a month? We'll see). I'm writing. It's going fairly slowly by my standards but since I've come really close to giving up on DoF in favour of RL original content, I'm proud of it.

YOU're amazing, Anon-san. Thank you so much for reaching out, I hope you have a lovely end of the week and that you and your loved ones are safe and happy as can be in late stage capitalism <3

#ask #answered #anonymous #me #personal #daughter of fire #DoF #kakasaku #pandemilovato #keeping up with J #I will never get tired of sweet people #sweet people are sweet #see I even have a tag for it #<3

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elkian · 3 years

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I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance.

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

[BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

SERIOUSLY]

What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*).

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

#elk text #24th #February #2021 #February 24th 2021 #I hope the bold helps with reading #long post warn #elk has thoughts #sorry for the ramble #Ableism #other shit comes up but plz keep in mind that that is the PRIMARY POINT OF THIS #also:#child abuse warn #abuse warn #harry potter spoilers warn #boku no hero spoilers #like REAL BIG spoilers for later Hero Academia stuff!#this is not a character hate post and i will block judiciously #elk has feelings

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loopy-froots · 3 years

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Introduction Post! (TW: SA, PTSD, etc.)

Hello slasher fandom! I’m fairly new to this side of tumblr, so forgive me if I don’t understand how all this works yet! I just thought I’d introduce myself because I’ve already posted drawings and fanfiction writings so far, but maybe some of you want to know who’s behind it? If not that’s totally fine, just keep scrolling! But if you’re curious, keep reading! Btw! I’d love to get to know any of you as well, so feel free so say hi! :^]

Facts about me:

I go by the name Donn on this blog (for safety reasons I won’t be sharing my actual or preferred name anywhere on this blog, sorry!)

I chose the name Donn because of the name coming from the Celtic god of dead souls (I’m a Celtic witch by blood so I thought it’d be fitting)

My preferred pronouns when I write are she/they (leaning towards she atm because of some personal issues I deal with irl, but irl I prefer they/them more strictly… does that make any sense?)

Anyways, I’m 18+ and I very much prefer my viewers to be 18+ ONLY because of the NSFW content I post… and I also don’t want to influence anyone that impressionable cuz I have a kinda fucked up mindset atm…

But I hope that’s alright! I know kids will do what they want, and there’s not always much we can do to stop it, but please just be respectful of my wishes and DNI!

I have severe PTSD from many irl traumas that have happened to me throughout my life, and I currently live in an kind of abusive household, so my mental health has not been good…

That’s partially why I started drawing and writing fandom stuff cuz it’s currently what’s keeping me going!

I have diagnosed Adhd, but I take meds for it and am doing slightly better with my productivity! That’s why I’ve been able to crank out as much content as I have in the past few days!

I have undiagnosed autism, but it’s a work in progress cuz I’m like pretty sure I am autistic (for many reasons, the more you get the know me the more obvious it’ll get)

I am disabled in many ways: chronic physical and mental pain/illnesses, hard of hearing, etc.

I’m extremely liberal so DNI if you’re gonna be a bigot or anything cuz I will block you!

I have a partner (Who does not know about this blog yet cuz I’m v shy about sharing this kinda stuff with the people I love… partially cuz of my trauma from past relationships)

Ive suffered from THREE separate abusive romantic relationships… all of which kinda fucked with my head… so forgive my insecurities and everything! (I’m working on it tho!) but this partner I’m currently with is AMAZING AND LOVING so I’m v happy with them!

TW! I’m a S/A survivor, and it was by a friend I trusted, so I get very skittish by people irl because of the betrayal… but I find it easier to get to know people online cuz it’s not as traumatic imo

As you can see, I overshare EVERYTHING for literally no reason… like it just gushes out of me without me being able to stop it… Sorry if you’re unhappy with it! Feel free to block me if it bothers you!

I am currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist!! They both help me a lot with functioning as a normal person (even tho there’s no real such thing as a “normal” person imo, but it helps me survive in the society I live in)

I used to be goth, but now I’m forever torn between being goth again or being a cottagecore lesbian lol (I usually dress femme even tho my brain makes me feel like a boy a lot of the time…?)

I am extremely bisexual! Like holy shit! How come everyone is so hot?? Lol but seriously, I go all ways (I know some people say that’d make me pan but I prefer the term bisexual over being pan)

I used to be a little, but I’m not anymore because too many people took advantage of me when I was in my little mindset… I don’t let myself regress anymore unless I’m absolutely alone, but that’s rarely ever (my little age was around 10 btw)

I am extremely sensitive and am an empath! I feel my emotions EXTREMLY STRONG so I overreact to everything, am very passionate about the things I’m in love with, and cry at any given moment! I cannot and will not help it! I’ve been told too many times that I’m too sensitive and that I’m a crybaby and that my heart is too big for my body, but I don’t care anymore! Im refusing to see this as anything but a blessing for now on! Sensitive bitches are the baddest bitches lol

I used to get lots of hallucinations/psychosis, but I take meds for it and am now much better and less paranoid!

I still get paranoid about social situations tho for time to time, as im a very insecure person :(

Im a switch/power bottom! I like to be dominant on occasion, but I prefer to be a bratty sub most of the time!

I am a collector of taxidermy things!! I have several insects on my walls, as well as animal paw jewelry! If you don’t like it that’s alright! Just don’t tell me cuz I will block you! I make sure all my collection items are from humane sources and all the animals die naturally in the wild!

I am a HARDCORE clown/masked person fan… like clowns are sooo gay and sexy like why must you jingle jangle your lil clown bells when you dance like that??😩 and masked persons are just so mysterious and sexy omg

Cicero fro Skyrim was literally my clown sexual awakening… murder clown man… with a squeaky voice… yes… must have!

My first sexual awakening tho was probably Danny Phantom (Which is sooo funny cuz my partner actually named themself after him… coincidence? I think not! God does have a plan! Lol jk… unless?🥺👉🏻👈🏻)

Yes, I use the 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 emojis unironically… no, I’m not proud of it😔

HMU if you relate to any of this or just want to be friends! I’m literally so desperate for friends cuz my old roommate made me cut ties with them and then they spread rumors about me to all my other friends until no one would talk to me anymore… :( so I’m v lonely run…

But anyways, yeah that’s basically me… a huge mess but I’m on my way to getting better I guess…?

If you’re still reading all of this, THANK YOU KIND BEING! You are unlike any other…🥺❤️

Okay bye loves!

#my post #slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #get to know me #get to know the writer #get to know the artist #get to know the author #get to know the person behind the blog #get to know the creator #tw #tw sa #tw trauma #tw ptsd #Adhd #autism #tw depression

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lucidpantone · 3 years

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Reacting to reactions: Kynicole s4 ep1 (comments edition)

Okay, so you know when something comes out and you need to talk about it with other humans because you can’t hold it in? This is me right now with the youtube comments on kynicole’s reaction video. I am about to burst 🤯.

**First and foremost lets thank kynicole for doing what most of us aren't willing to do for ourselves which is revisit the trainwreck that is wtFOCK s4.**

Disclaimer: This is long as hell

Ok so literally first comment I see is this:

People!!! Moyo from all the information we’ve been given as a fandom am pretty sure is not blocked. You know that saying, actions speak louder than words?Well let's analyze the actions of wtFOCK(particularly Rutgers) and Noa. I have asked sooo many people about the block question and I always get the same answer “I don’t know”. Which coupled with everything else that has played out tells me a lot. Ok firstly, we are all aware that wtFOCK is yet to comment on or even acknowledge s4. The newsmonkey article wtFOCK did after every season they skipped entirely after s4. You know what wtFOCK did do? They sent out Nora b4 s4 even ended to calm down the fandom. Oh lets send the WOC out to quell the screams from all the fans that are screaming at the injustice of giving this season to Romi(who was a way less experienced actor, who had no previous backstory on the show, who no one asked for, who was white, a legitimate model, and to put it simply didn’t work anywhere near as hard as Noa for 3 seasons). Anyways here is why I am pretty sure Moyo isn't block.

Think about everything we know about Noa as a human being the way he treats the fans, his demeanor and just overall vibe. To me he seems like a very nice person, he writes back to most of you guys when you talk to him. I saw him comment heart emojis to fan accounts that commented on his award acceptance the other day and you know what he said at the award “That the fans are the most important thing”. Now connect the Noa we know from his actions to his own words on the day the main was revealed:

To me this tweet implies whatever he is speaking about involved a choice and the chooser chose to make money over morality. Now lets exam Rutgers actions. He has never publicly spoken about the season and the reason I believe he doesn't speak is because any decent journalist is going to ask him to explain his casting choice. Also your telling me that if Moyo had been blocked after week 4,5,6,7,8 of having the fandom hurl insults at wtfock and also Romi calling a meeting they wouldn't have used their end of the season interview to confirm Moyo wasn’t an option to shut the fandom up? Oh and last week Noa accepted the award for wtfock and Rutgers posted Noa on his story??? Moyo wasn’t the main of s4. Wouldn't it make sense to have a main accept the award? Why Noa? Rutgers is not stupid. I don’t believe for one second that Moyo was blocked. What I believe is that wtFOCK’s leadership who happens to all be white men are to embarrassed to go on the record and say “yeah Moyo wasn’t block but we still didn’t chose him” and that instead of giving the season to Noa who worked his ass off for 3 seasons they gave it to Romi because they thought “her look” was more appeasing to advertisers. Her look was obviously what sold them on her because next to Noa we know who the better actor was and Noa literally landed a feature film to prove that. Anyways everyone needs to stop pushing this idea that Moyo was blocked because if you actually look at everyone’s actions involved its pretty clear to me he wasn't blocked and Rutgers and the team are refusing to confirm what to me is fairly obvious answer because they know they are going to get fucking dragged. Also whoever this commenter is they know what's up. I agree with everything you stated:

☝️☝️☝️Say it louder sis. wtFOCK bypassed Noa on purpose they chose to do what they did to him. I do genuinely believe they regret the decision now because from everything I heard I really do believe they wish they could go back and chose Noa but the damage is done.

Next YT comment:

You know when early on in the season a bunch of POC said that this season was merely a platform to embolden and give free reign to those who already harbored racial micro-aggression 👇👇👇

Oh surprise, surprise..... this commenter sees no redeeming qualities in both black boys who in their respective remakes are written as being homophobic, with undertones of aggression and as bad friends. Oh and then this commenter points out how poor Moyo treated Kato. Bwahahahaha what?? Yea Moyo insulted Kato but he never accused her of being a drug dealer, or implies she has a drug problem, or racially profiles members of her community or manipulates her with saying I love you as a form of keeping her but Moyo treats Kato badly. GTFO!!! I am sure this commenter is a Mailin stan too and would say Ava isnt someone she would be interested in seeing main either. Wonder what all these characters have in common🤔. This type of commentary is what created the divide that still resides in the wtfock fandom to date. This shit is what tore the fandom apart and eventually led people to leave the fandom or take time off because people went for each others throats as the season got worse and those who defended wtfock at the beginning were eaten alive. Honestly tho I dont want to excuse people’s troublesome povs on race but wtFOCK’s decision to make a season where their white main never fully apologizes or owns her behavior with the appropriate language perpetuates a pattern of bad behavior so am kinda of not shocked no one came out with some insight on race relations after s4 if anything probably with less of an education then they began with because wtfock themselves peddled the agenda that its ok to silence people of color (as they did with moyo at the end of the season, he never says his piece to kato and stays with her) and Kato never takes ownership of her actions and states that her actions stem from some form of racial micro-aggression.

Final Comments reviewed:

I mean.... look I will always adore season 2 & 3 of wtfock. Nothing will ever change that for me but these people ☝️☝️are right. It takes a real fan to be honest with themselves and to me this is the worse season in the universe and it makes me so sad mainly because it could have been the most fearless, ground breaking season but wtfock made a choice. They literally had the opportunity to go big and do something that had never been done before and in the end they choked and paid the ultimate price. What a waste.......could have been amazing the had the perfect actor to main and they fucking blew it because in their mind Moyo wasn't an important enough story to tell 😞.

p.s. I noticed kynicole said at least half a dozen times in her video I still dont get why this wasn’t in Moyo’s pov? Literally said EVERYONE!!!

#wtfock #reacting to s4 yt comments #kynicole edition

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set-phasers-to-whump · 3 years

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“i’m sorry, i didn’t know”

prompt: “i’m sorry, i didn’t know”

whumpee: kyle valenti

fandom: roswell new mexico

hi hi i bring again whump of a character that caters probably only to Me!!! i absolutely love kyle and alex so much and i like to write them sweet...there is plenty of pain in here tho!! def pre-ship vibes but you don’t Have to read it that way?

It hurts. A burning kind of pain that radiates out from his right ribcage all throughout his torso, hot and constant and spiking in intensity whenever he tries to breathe. Broken ribs, he thinks, dismally. Why? Anything but broken ribs would be fine. Pretty much any other kind of break can have something done about it. But for this? He can take a couple ibuprofen and set an ice pack on them and get back to work.

Not that he particularly should, with broken ribs. A few days off is wise, as is getting checked out by a colleague, but to be honest he doesn’t feel like telling anyone. He doesn’t have any internal bleeding and nothing’s poking out of his skin, so he’s fine. He’s fine.

Except that his whole chest hurts every time he breathes, let alone speaks, or, god forbid, walks. But he has to do all three of those things, because he’s got work today, and then he and Alex are hanging out tonight. He’s not about to skip either of those things.

Work sucks. There’s no sugarcoating it. He hides his injury as well as he can, excusing his awkward posture, slight limp, and occasional wince as being products of a late, sleepless night, and if his colleagues doubt him, they’re kind enough not to say anything.

Everything goes about as well as it can go until around lunch. He’s operating, a procedure he’s done so many times he could do it in his sleep, but he can’t fully extend his right arm or he’s pretty sure his whole chest will tear in two. He tries to ignore it, but he swears he’s on fire, and he drops his scalpel right on top of the patient.

Nothing bad happens, but a fellow doctor gives him a curious look. He reaches for the scalpel and can’t quite hide a wince as he stretches out his side a little too much.

“Are you alright, Dr. Valenti?”

“Fine,” he says, a little more snappishly than he’d intended. He bites down on his lip to stop himself from making any more noise and stubbornly blinks away the tears of pain that have formed unwillingly in his eyes.

The rest of the procedure goes off without a hitch, but Kyle can’t quite escape from the other doctor afterwards.

“You sure you’re okay? I saw you wince when you reached for that scalpel.”

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” he says, as casually as he can, not wanting a repeat of his reply from before. “Just slept a little weird.”

“Thought you didn’t sleep at all.”

“Barely,” he says. “I barely slept. What I did get...not the best.”

Evidently this is a sufficient explanation, as the other doctor leaves him alone to go grab lunch. Kyle is definitely not hungry, so he skips out, hiding in the locker room until his break’s over.

He gets home shortly after six, now slightly hungry, but unwilling to eat, lest it cause him more pain. The whole drive home his seatbelt had pressed against the lower side of his ribs, jostling them whenever he’d come to a stop. It hadn’t bothered him too much that morning, but evidently all of the ibuprofen is wearing off. He just wants everything to stop hurting.

He limps his way through the door, not bothering to take off his shoes or remove anything from his pockets. He makes a beeline for the bathroom, where he again takes too much ibuprofen and carefully lifts up his shirt to inspect his injury.

His entire right side is a vivid purple with the occasional splotch of red. It’s slightly swollen and excruciatingly painful to touch. God, it hurts.

He very slowly makes his way to the couch, stopping by the freezer for a soft ice pack. He lies down carefully and places the ice pack onto his ribs, through his shirt so as not to freeze his skin off. Which would be just what he needs, he thinks.

The light contact of the ice pack hurts like he’s been punched, and its steady pressure is almost unbearable. He lets out a groan of pain and finally gives in to the hot tears building behind his eyes. Even so, he leaves the ice pack on. It’ll help in the long run, and he’s still got things to do today.

Things which he could very easily cancel. He could text Alex and tell him he’s just not feeling well tonight, but then Alex would ask what’s the matter? and probably get concerned for him and Kyle really doesn’t want that. So he’ll suck it up. And he’ll ice his damn ribs.

At 6:30, Kyle lifts himself up off of the couch as gently as he possibly can. It hurts anyway, but slightly less thanks to the time spent with the ice. He’s wearing the clothes he’d worn to work, which are slightly out of place for the Wild Pony, but there’s no way he’s changing again (into and out of his scrubs had been painful enough, especially with the added pressure of making sure nobody was around to see the rather horrific colors painting his torso). So the work clothes stay on.

He climbs into his car, wishing he didn’t care so much about his own personal safety as he buckles his seatbelt, which again presses itself uncomfortably against his ribs. He drives, doing his best to make the ride as smooth as he possibly can.

He arrives at the Pony five minutes late and slightly sweaty and feeling fairly awful. Still. He can’t help smiling when he sees Alex sitting in a booth, waving at him. He nods in response, not wanting to lift his hand.

Kyle sinks down into the booth across from Alex, hiding a wince.

“How was your day?” Alex asks, as one of the waiters comes up to them.

“Pretty boring. One surgery, a consult, no emergencies.”

“That’s good,” Alex says, as they order their drinks and some snacks.

Kyle nods. Neither of them says anything for what feels like an age. It’s awkward. He can practically feel the tension in the air. But he really doesn’t want to talk. It hurts.

“So…” Alex says, but evidently can’t think of anything to say after that.

“So,” Kyle replies, softly. He blinks hard as a slightly more intense wave of pain hits his side. Their drinks arrive, and he takes a big sip, hoping to cool off his ribs from the inside.

Which does not happen. In fact, the movement only makes them hurt worse, and he knows he doesn’t hide his wince.

But Alex, apparently sensing that Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t push. God, he’s so nice. And here Kyle is, acting like he doesn’t care about anything and not talking just because, what? His ribs may very well be on fire?

“Hey, I finally watched Star Wars,” he says at last, grinning, stubbornly ignoring the spike of pain in his ribs.

“Oh really?”

“What, you don’t believe me?”

“Tell me one thing that happened.”

“Let’s see...some planet got blown up.”

“You’re going to have to be a little bit more specific.”

Kyle racks his brain. “It was red?” he says, at last, not entirely sure of that fact. “Winona Ryder died,” he recalls.

Alex laughs out loud, and Kyle can’t help grinning along. “What?” he asks. “What’s so funny about Winona Ryder dying?”

“Kyle, that’s Star Trek. And not exactly the best Star Trek, either.”

“Oh.” He smiles a little more. “Which is the best one, then?”

Alex goes off on a fair tirade of the various pieces of media in the Star Trek franchise. If Kyle’s being honest, he only follows about half of it, but Alex is clearly into it and kind of ridiculously passionate about which show is better than which other show, and which character was done so poorly in this rendition, and it’s incredibly endearing, so Kyle just pays as much attention as he can, asking questions whenever he feels able.

On top of it being nice to hear Alex so enthusiastic, the conversation is also a nice distraction from the pain in his ribs, which has only increased due to all the talking. The fire has spread out and gotten hotter and he can barely stand it, but focusing on Alex helps.

Their food arrives. Alex chews a fry thoughtfully as he explains the merits of The Animated Series.

“...so there’s these close-ups, right? And it’s like, their entire face fills the screen at this dramatic moment, and…”

Eventually, Alex runs out of things to say about Star Trek, and Kyle runs out of questions to ask to keep him going, and the conversation, rather unfortunately, turns to him.

“You haven’t eaten anything,” Alex observes, and pushes their basket of fries closer to Kyle.

“I’m not really hungry,” he says, though he carefully picks up a fry. He is hungry, truly, but he doesn’t want to figure out what it feels like to eat with broken ribs.

“You should still try to eat something,” Alex points out. “You look a little pale.”

Kyle pretends to be affronted, throwing the fry very lightly across the table, where it lands on Alex’s lap.

“Nice try,” Alex says. “Eat something, Kyle.”

He’d sigh in exasperation, if it weren’t for the fact that it would hurt like hell. He very slowly picks up a fry and bites it. Not too bad, he decides, swallowing. And yeah, that hurts a little more. He barely stops himself from putting a hand to his side in an effort to make the pain stop.

He doesn’t eat any more. Alex doesn’t try to make him, though he does reach out a hand across the table, putting it to Kyle’s forehead.

“I’m a doctor, Alex. I think I’d know if I was sick.”

“Hm,” Alex says, like he doesn’t believe that. “Maybe you’d know it,” he continues. “Don’t know if you’d do anything about it.”

Kyle can’t fault his logic on that. Not when he’s sitting here with broken ribs that hurt and hurt and hurt, because he hadn’t wanted to tell anyone and he hadn’t wanted to cancel on Alex.

Their conversation moves on from that naturally enough, and eventually they find themselves at a natural stopping point. They pay for their food, and Alex stands up. Kyle takes a second to build up the strength to make himself stand, and then does it, shutting his eyes instinctively against the pain.

Alex’s hand is on his arm when he opens them. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, looking like he’s not going to believe Kyle’s answer.

“I’m sure,” Kyle says. “I’m so okay. I’m super.”

“Sure,” Alex replies. “That sounded so convincing.”

“I’m fine, I swear.”

“If you say so.”

They make their way out to the parking lot, where Alex leans up against the driver’s side of Kyle’s car.

“Hey!”

“I’m not letting you get in until you tell me what’s up with you.”

Kyle is so not in the mood for this. He walks around to the passenger side, intending on climbing across. Which is a really horrible idea. He gets one leg over the center console and reaches out an arm to balance himself, and his whole world goes white with pain.

He slowly sinks back into the passenger seat, feeling his body shaking involuntarily. The too-familiar hot tears of pain are pouring down his cheeks, and he’s trying not to take the shuddering breaths his body so desperately needs, because they’ll only make the pain worse.

Alex’s hand is on his arm again, and then Alex is turning Kyle’s body so he’s facing out of the passenger door, towards him. Kyle knows this only because he can feel a slight breeze on his face, since his eyes are screwed shut against the pain.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asks, and his voice is as soft as anything. “What’s wrong, Kyle?”

He can’t speak. It hurts too much. His face is burning from tears and from shame and his chest is burning with horrible pain and it hurts so much and he just wants it to stop and -

Then it’s worse, it’s worse, it’s so much worse. Alex’s arms are around him in a gesture that would be the most comforting thing in the world were it not for the sheer amount of pain their presence is generating. He must scream, because all of a sudden Alex’s arms draw back.

Kyle risks opening his eyes, hoping Alex hasn’t left completely. He doesn’t want to be alone.

“Kyle, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

He nods, minutely, and sees Alex’s face fall through a haze of tears. It’s not your fault, he thinks desperately. You didn’t know.

“Are you hurt? I mean, were you hurt before?”

Another small nod.

“I’m sorry, Kyle, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Alex sounds pained, almost like he doesn’t think Kyle will believe him.

That gets through the pain enough to let him speak. “Not your fault,” he whispers. “Didn’t...wanna tell you.”

Alex shakes his head. “I should’ve seen that you were hurting,” he says. “And then I went and made it worse, thinking your pain was just emotional and that maybe you just needed a hug.” He scoffs, like he thinks that was a stupid line of reasoning.

“Alex,” Kyle says, forcing his voice to be a little stronger. “Shut up. Y’ were helping.”

“But-”

“No.”

Alex sighs in defeat. “Okay,” he concedes. “Not my fault.”

“Mine,” Kyle says.

“That’s not how this works,” Alex protests. “How is it your fault?” he asks, after a beat.

“Stupid,” Kyle mumbles. “Fell ‘n hit my ribs...knew they were broken...didn’t tell anyone.”

“Kyle,” Alex says, a mix between exasperated and worried. “Why not?”

He’d shrug, were he physically capable. “Didn’t want to.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Don’ need the hospital. Nothing to do about it. Jus’...wanna go home.”

“Okay,” Alex agrees, not even for a second insisting that they do anything else. “We’ll leave my car here. Give me your keys.”

Kyle lets go of the keys he hadn’t realized he was still holding. They’ve left red marks on his palm where they’d dug into his closed fist.

Alex takes the keys and very gently pushes Kyle’s body to face the front of the car, and then brushes his hair off of his forehead with a light touch that feels like the nicest thing in the world to his warm skin. Alex starts the car, reaching across Kyle to buckle his seatbelt, which now presses against his left side and is a great deal less painful.

“So it’s your ribs,” Alex says, after they’ve been driving for a few minutes.

“Yeah.”

“And they’re broken.”

“Yeah.”

Alex leaves the conversation at that, though something in his tone tells Kyle they’re not done talking about all of this. The rest of the ride home is quiet, though not uncomfortable, except of course for the pain, which still increases every time there’s a slight bump in the road or the car changes speeds. He’s crying again, though it’s entirely possible he never stopped.

They reach Kyle’s place, and Alex helps him navigate his way to the door. It’s an incredibly painful journey, but Kyle tries his best not to lean too heavily into Alex, mindful of his leg and not in the mood to be the cause of any more pain.

Alex slips his hand into Kyle’s pocket and grabs his house key, then wraps his arm around Kyle’s waist as he starts to list to the side. He inserts the key into the lock and turns it, then leads Kyle inside and directly to the couch.

Kyle very carefully sinks down onto the couch in a sitting position. He hears Alex walking around, apparently gathering...things, and then sees Alex standing in front of him with his arms full of various medical supplies, food, a bottle of water, a blanket…

He moves to say something, but Alex interrupts him. “I know you said you can’t do anything about your ribs, but I’ve got some ice for any swelling and some pain meds and some food and water because you really do need to eat, and blankets so you can sleep out here…” He trails off. Kyle gives him a little smile, for once glad there are still tears dripping down his face, so Alex won’t see him again tearing up at his sheer kindness.

Alex gets to work in a very businesslike manner, stuffing a pillow up against the arm of the couch and guiding Kyle to lie back against it, picking up his legs and setting them onto the couch. He pulls off Kyle’s shoes and very gently undoes the buttons of his shirt, until it’s open enough to reveal his bruised side, which can’t look any better than it had earlier, if Alex’s horrified gasp is anything to go by.

“Kyle.”

“‘S bad. I know.”

Fingers gently touch the bruise, not hurting as much as Kyle expects. They’re cool against the burning feeling, and they don’t press into it. Alex drapes a soft hand towel over the bruise, then lies an ice pack atop it.

Kyle is familiar with the sensation, having done a similar thing earlier, but it still hurts. He sucks in a sharp breath, which of course only exacerbates the pain.

Alex’s hand moves to his face, cupping it with that same gentleness. “I know it hurts,” he says, “but it’ll help. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Kyle whispers back, because he does know. That doesn’t stop it from hurting, though.

As though reading that thought, Alex holds out an opened bottle of ibuprofen. “You’ve probably taken way too many of these today, but I trust you’re not going to overdose.”

He lets Alex shake two of the pills into his hand, which he very carefully and slowly reaches up to his mouth. He swallows the pills dry, which is a terrible mistake. He coughs on them and feels his ribs explode with pain again. He groans. He is so damn tired of this.

Alex’s hand is back, wiping away the fresh tears of pain from his face. “Easy,” he says, and holds out a bottle of water. Kyle takes it with a shaking hand and can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed when Alex’s hand joins it, helping him lift it to his mouth.

He drinks a little water and feels the pain minutely recede. Alex pulls the bottle away, and Kyle leans his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes.

“I’m not gonna make you eat anything right now,” Alex says, and he holds up the assortment of items he’d brought from the kitchen. “But I’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything all day, so when you wake up you are going to eat. Okay?”

Though it’s phrased as a question, Kyle knows full well it isn’t. “Okay,” he agrees.

“Good,” Alex replies, and puts a soft hand in his hair. “Now sleep. I’ll be here to remind you of that promise when you wake up.”

thanks so much for reading this!!! like i said i am a huge sucker for kylex and i love them so so much :) i hope you enjoyed!

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday10 #i'm sorry i didn't know #roswell new mexico #kyle valenti #broken bones #broken ribs #cared for #i had a lot of fun with alex and star trek lmao #he is a big fucking nerd and i stand by that #anyway i started this fic with exactly Nothing and i am kind of happy with how it turned out? its also rlly long. maybe too long. idk #anyhow tysm for reading!#my writing #i say things #didnt tag those first go round lmao #anyway fun fact this is the longest one chapter thing I have ever written!#and possibly the second longest thing ever!#it’s barely over 3k but.

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iturbide · 4 years

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@cianidix replied to your post:

The more you talk about this, the more I want to read it! Edgeworth-centric and also more Edgeworth-Maya interactions, ahhhhh. I’m also sooo interested in reading about how the relationship falls apart and how they (hopefully, maybe, I don’t believe Feenie is actually dead here… right??? Q_Q) eventually make better or move on and just- ahhhh I wish this fic was here already (if you get back to it)

(Trucy still exists, right? Even tho Wright wasn’t disbarred, right???)

Of course Trucy still exists I could never write her out of existence she’s too precious of a child to not be around in some way shape or form (and there’s nothing to say that Nick won’t end up with her at some point in the future, anyway -- he could always use another kid or two, and I think we all know it). Interestingly enough, though, one of my other big works was an AA4-compliant piece, also Edgeworth-centric, that involved a lot of Edgeworth-Trucy interactions because Trucy’s a part of Phoenix’s life now, and if he wants to have any part in it himself Edgeworth has to get along with the adopted daughter. It actually had a decent chunk of words in it, too (around 12k -- it’s the second excerpt from the link in the last post).

But in all honesty people getting excited about my stories gets me excited about those stories and since I still don’t know when I’m going to get around to writing the whole thing out, what’s the harm in dropping the summary?

Gonna give this another shot and Tumblr’s not gonna eat it this time mark my words

A couple notes before we get into things:

OCs are fair game in Ace Attorney as far as I’m concerned, and we’re certainly going to have a host of them. From the prosecutor on the case to all of those involved, I’ll be making a whole cast and crew to back this story up, and if I can manage it there will be absolutely terrible puns, because that just seems to be how AA games operate.

Lana Skye is hands down one of my absolute favorite characters in the series, and it’s a crime that they only put her into one bonus case and put her in prison at the end of it. For all of my continuities, I completely write out SL-9 as a case: Joe Darke never escaped his cell, Lana got into the prosecutor’s office and became chief by virtue of her own talents, and both the prosecutor’s office and the police department have cowboys running around.

I have a fairly non-standard view of Phoenix as a person, just based on everything I remember seeing in fandom back when I was more active. For instance: I love the fact that he was an art student, but I’ve always specifically thought he was aiming to be an actor and had a thing for Shakespeare; frankly, the ad libbing that has to go into acting when something goes wrong explains so much for me where Nick’s bluffing is concerned (when a man interrogates a parrot, you know he has a weird history). Unrelated but still relevant to that point, I think he’s actually a decent pianist and took lessons through most of his childhood and adolescence -- but he’s a classical pianist by training and not great at playing by ear, so people just think he sucks because he botches any modern tunes. So if you see something that seems Weird compared to fandom’s general take, just know that it probably has backstory.

So with all that in mind, let’s dive in.

In true Ace Attorney fashion, the whole thing starts with a cold open. As he finishes up the last of the paperwork associated with the case he wrapped up that afternoon, Phoenix gets a call from a familiar number, and though he dreads the conversation to come he answers anyway, refusing an offer to meet and saying that he can’t do this anymore before someone enters the inner office. He insists that they’re closed as he turns toward the door, and a voice replies that this won’t take long -- and then there’s gunshots. And then nothing.

The next morning, Maya is understandably shocked and horrified to arrive at the office and find that it’s once again a crime scene: bullet holes in the windows, blood on the floor, police everywhere...but no sign of Nick. Gumshoe is on the scene, though, and after a lot of badgering, he reveals that there’s been no sign of Phoenix, but the police are operating under the assumption that he’s dead -- and they’ve already arrested a suspect. Maya can’t imagine who would want to hurt Phoenix, and hearing that it’s Miles Edgeworth they’ve imprisoned just makes the whole thing feel that much more surreal. Sure, Nick and Edgeworth have had their disagreements --- including one the day before, in the recesses of their trial, and Phoenix had seemed really upset after that -- but she didn’t think it was something worth killing over.

But she’s still hurt, and reeling from the morning’s news. So her first order of business is to march down to the Detention Center to confront him. Edgeworth is...not surprised to see her, given the circumstances -- but when she demands to know why he did it, he insists that he’s innocent: he would never harm Wright, no matter the circumstances. As much as Maya wants to believe that, though, the fact that he doesn’t seem upset by Nick’s supposed death so much as the accusation that he had a hand in it rubs her wrong, and despite herself she can’t help but wonder if he did have some role in it; regardless, she still goes everywhere she can think of in hopes that there was a mistake, that Nick is okay after all, collecting evidence with every stop...but as it gets later, when there’s still no sign of him, she and Pearl return to the Detention Center.

With no defense counsel, Edgeworth is almost guaranteed to go to prison...but at Pearl’s urging, Maya steps up and offers to defend him, since she recently passed the bar and got her badge. She spends the rest of the evening doing her best to cobble together a case based on what little information she has, and reports to the courthouse the next morning for her very first trial as a defense attorney.

Her first case, and Nick isn’t even there to see it. She didn’t think it could hurt any worse.

Before they’re called into the courtroom, the defense gets a surprise visitor: chief prosecutor Lana Skye, come to deliver case notes and evidence files. Maya barely gets time enough to leaf through them before they’re called into the courtroom to start the trial, where she finds herself facing the rising star from the prosecutor’s office: Gayle Huntington, a young woman who counts Chief Prosecutor Skye as her inspiration and who is excited to add another guilty verdict to her record, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the fact that one of her fellow prosecutors stands accused.

The prosecution declares it a crime of passion, and presents their theory of the case: following a heated confrontation outside the courtroom, Miles Edgeworth called Phoenix Wright to arrange a meeting. While he may have intended only to put an end to the argument, tempers flared, and in a fit of rage the defendant shot the victim three times before dragging the body down to the street and driving it off to be disposed of at another location. Their evidence includes the blood found at the scene, which matches Phoenix based on forensic testing; three bullet holes in the office window, though no slugs or casings were found at or around the office despite an extensive search with metal detectors; Edgeworth’s phone, which shows that the last call before he contacted 911 was made to Wright’s number; and a handgun found at the scene which shows evidence of recent firing, though no magazine was found in it.

Over the first day of testimony, Maya manages to shred the prosecution’s case based on that chain of events:

The gun, as it happens, belonged to Phoenix himself. One of the documents the chief prosecutor provided to the defense was a photocopy of a sign-in sheet for a local gun range, which not only has Nick’s signature on it, but included a copy of his firearm registration and permit, which was for the exact make, model, and serial number as the purported murder weapon. Lana Skye herself is called to the stand, as her name also appears on the sign-in, and she testifies that after court the previous day she happened across Wright at the range and they talked a bit; he said that he needed to blow off a bit of steam before going back to his paperwork, and she clearly recalls that he did not clean his weapon before leaving, instead saying that he would do so after he went home since his cleaning kit was there. On closer examination, it's discovered that while the weapon has mostly been wiped clean, the trigger was not, and a partial print matching Phoenix is recovered.

On calling Edgeworth himself to the stand, he admits that he did contact Phoenix late in the evening in the hopes of resolving the argument from that afternoon; however, he was across townpicking up his car from the repair shop when he made that call, and when he heard what sounded like a shot before the call cut out he immediately drove to the office where he found the blood trail leading to the curb. Cell tower records do, in fact, confirm that he was far from the defense attorney’s office when the call was made, and based on the time of his calls to both Phoenix and 911, there was far too narrow of a window to dispose of the body.

The next revelation comes with the filing of a new piece of evidence, courtesy of a frantic Gumshoe bursting into court and taking the stand. The police, in their search of likely dumping grounds for a body, dredged something out of the river that seems to confirm that they have a murder on their hands: a blue suit coat with three apparent bullet holes in the back...and Phoenix’s badge still affixed to the lapel. What little blood evidence they were able to collect matches Phoenix, as well.

For all that this is a stunning (and devastating) revelation, it brings with it yet more to undermine the prosecution’s case: namely the bullet evidence. When placed on a mannequin, even coupled with the knowledge that Phoenix left his suit jacket unbuttoned while working in the office, the placement of the bullet holes in the back would require that there be associated entry points in the front -- which do not exist. Maya draws the logical conclusion, then, that the shots must have been fired from outside the office -- through the window, and the reason no slugs or casings were found was because the shots weren’t fired from inside the office, and the bullets were still in the victim.

Despite the upset in court, the prosecution refuses to budge, and the Judge refuses to declare a Not Guilty verdict. Court adjourns for the day instead, and Maya heads out to continue her investigation. Making her way to the Gatewater Hotel, she manages to get information on who was staying in the room across from the office: four members of a jazz band in town for a show, who insist that they’re the only ones who have been in the room and that they were setting up for a performance on the night of the crime. Though she doesn’t know them herself, she hears vague rumors that they have a fifth member who’s been in some ‘legal trouble.’ When Maya relates the name to Edgeworth, he remarks that it seems somehow familiar, though he can’t quite place why. She also gets the prosecutor’s repair records and goes to check out the rental company he used while his car was in the shop, which nets her a copy of the damage and condition checklist the agent filled out when Edgeworth brought the car back.

While Maya has the case to occupy her mind, Miles has no such means of escaping his own thoughts in his prison cell. Between the confirmation that the jacket does, in fact, belong to Phoenix (something he had tried to deny at first, hoping that the coat was a look-alike and the badge stolen, only to have that possibility dashed by the presence of Wright’s initials on the underside of the tag) and the relative isolation in the detention center, he’s had ample time to think over how things had been with Phoenix -- including how he, himself, had been with the defense attorney...and he’s forced to face some very hard truths about his behavior toward someone he cares about far more than he wanted to believe.

With the start of the second day in court, the prosecution has changed its theory of the crime, but not its perpetrator: rather than committing the crime alone, Edgeworth had an accomplice, and his call to Wright was a ploy to get him into firing range while the shooter waited in the hotel for his chance. Leaving his rental car in front of the defense attorney’s office, he picked up his usual vehicle and upon arriving at the crime scene helped his accomplice load the body into the getaway car for disposal while he made a call to police. Their evidence comes from photos of the rental vehicle in question, which show damage not reported on the return checklist, as well as blood evidence taken from the trunk which matches Phoenix.

Once again, Maya tears through the prosecution’s case piece by piece:

The damage in the evidence photos compared to the rental return form make for the first order of business. On calling the man who signed off on Edgeworth’s car to the stand -- an amiable but nervous young Latine by the name of Novi Nada -- they swear up and down that the damage in the photos absolutely was not present when they checked the car in on the night of the crime. (In true Ace Attorney form, this gets somewhat ridiculous, as this witness lapses into Spanish when especially nervous; when pressed, they insist “no vi nada” -- I didn’t see anything -- to which the Judge responds “yes we know your name now what did you see?”)

Sensor data from the rental lot finally confirms the agent’s version of events, where the car is registered as driving onto the lot shortly before the time marked on the inspection form; more importantly, it also recorded the car being driven off the lot and then back on much later. Unfortunately, there is no additional inspection form, nor a record of who rented the car after Edgeworth, and therefore no record of who might have been involved.

Edgeworth is recalled to the stand to revisit his testimony, and he adds another key detail: while it was a sound that he took to be gunfire that sent him to the defense attorney’s office, Wright had said something strange during the call, mentioning that the office was closed -- as though he was speaking to someone else that had just arrived moments before the shots sounded and the call cut out.

Neither the defense’s office complex nor the Gatewater Hotel have video surveillance of the street; however, the Gatewater does take video of the lobby, which shows one of the four band members leaving around an hour before the crime occurred, two more leaving minutes before the shooting, and the last rushing through the lobby with a trombone case under his arm; notably, he’s the only one of the four to actually take his instrument when he left, as the others were all empty-handed. Most importantly, though, the video proves that no one else left the hotel between the time of the shooting and the time that the police started arriving, which calls into question the notion of an accomplice helping Miles dispose of the body.

This, however, provides the prosecution with a shiny new theory: that Miles hired the band to act as hitmen while he kept his hands clean. As it turns out, the reason the band name seemed familiar to him was because he was set to prosecute the fifth member of their group after his case against Phoenix wrapped up; the prosecutor posits that Miles promised to go easy on their incarcerated bandmate if they took out the defense attorney.

This is a damning accusation, and Maya has no ready response. The Judge adjourns the court for the day, and the defense scrambles to come up with a way to prove that Edgeworth had no part in what happened and place the blame on the truly guilty. She returns to the rental company and, while interviewing Novi further, finds out that the fifth bandmate has a sibling that works at the same agency. She also returns to the Gatewater to speak with the band, and notices that the trombone case in the room doesn’t look like the one from the lobby video. When asked, they say that the old case got lost...which seems odd to her, since the trombone itself is still there and doesn’t appear damaged.

While Maya looks deeper into the band, she reaches out to Miles for insight into the case he was supposed to prosecute. The fifth band member had been taken into custody on suspicion of murder, and while he suspected that the man did not commit the crime alone, he hadn’t yet been able to prove that when all this happened. For the first time, though, Maya starts to see real anger in the prosecutor -- not because these people dragged his good name through the mud with this set-up, but apparently because Phoenix’s blood is on their hands, and he can’t abide the thought of them getting away. He readily gives her access to his office for the other case file (which Chief Prosecutor Skye secures for her) so that she can use it in establishing her own case.

Despite her best efforts, though, Maya simply can’t pull together enough solid evidence to prove that Miles didn’t have a hand in the crime -- and without proof of his innocence, the court intends to find him guilty. But before the judge can hand down his verdict, the courtroom doors open, and a strident Objection! rises from the back of the room...and who should come limping up to the witness stand but Phoenix Wright himself.

The courtroom goes absolutely wild about this.

Understandably, the judge calls for a recess, and before the prosecution can drag him off to prep him for testimony Maya and Edgeworth at least get a minute with him. As it turns out, Maya had forgotten her phone that morning, and Pearl grabbed it for her; just as they were called into court, though, it rang, and Pearl stayed behind to answer -- only to be shocked to hear Mister Nick’s voice on the other end, at which point she rushed off to beg Mister Scruffy Detective to take her to get the defense attorney from the hospital where he’d been for the past few days as a ‘John Doe’ (since he had no ID on him when he was brought in). Maya is overwhelmed to see him alive, if worse for the wear, and Edgeworth…

...he can’t even find words for the feeling.

The celebration is shortlived, though, as Phoenix is dragged off to the witness lobby in short order to prep him for testimony. For all that the prosecution seems to believe he’ll help them, though, Nick gives them absolutely nothing, and instead confirms that he received a call from Edgeworth that evening, and while they were on the phone two strangers came into the office just before he was shot. They dragged him down to the street and threw him in the trunk of a car, then drove to the river and threw him in; most importantly, though, he remembers one of them asking what to do with the case, and another saying they would dump it at the club where it would blend right in; police are immediately dispatched there and find a bloody trombone case (since they’d thrown it into the trunk before loading Nick in) with a rifle inside.

The motive? Everyone knows the Demon Prosecutor’s reputation, and they knew that they’d all go down if he tried the case on their buddy. The enmity between prosecutors and defense attorneys is well known, though, and in particular they knew that Wright had broken Edgeworth’s old record and it had never recovered; they figured it would be easy to frame him for the murder with the right set-up. They had a small window of opportunity while Wright and Edgeworth worked through their trial, and they used it to put all their pieces in place, expecting that Edgeworth would go down and they’d all get off when a less competent prosecutor inevitably got their friend’s case. Clearly, though, that backfired on them: they’re all taken away, and Edgeworth is declared Not Guilty. Cue fanfare and confetti!

...and that’s where the fallout begins.

While Miles is taken to get things squared away with his release from detention, Phoenix is taken back to the hospital because honestly he should not have left in the first place. The man was admitted with a collapsed lung. It’s frankly a wonder he even managed to stand, let alone raise that objection. His recovery takes a while, and Maya and Pearl are frequent visitors...but so is Miles, much to his surprise. Only it’s not a good surprise for him, given what he’d been planning to say on the night he got shot. Things feel awkward, and all the more for how Miles is acting...different. Not like his usual self. Phoenix doesn’t know what it is or if he likes it, but he’s too tired to complain since it’s not bothering him, and visiting hours are relatively short since the prosecutor is still working cases.

Given what happened to him, though, the doctor recommends that Phoenix should stay with someone once he’s discharged: his condition, while improved, could deteriorate rapidly if something happens, so it’s imperative to have someone else around in case of an emergency. Maya and Pearl are still going back and forth between the city and Kurain semi-frequently, though, and he wouldn’t want to impose on them, especially since Pearls has been thinking about attending school in the city rather than just getting her medium training...but though he doesn’t even consider Edgeworth as a possibility, the prosecutor immediately volunteers when he hears: he has more than enough vacation time accrued and the chief prosecutor hounds him regularly about needing to take some, so he can be on hand for whatever Wright might need.

This does not, in fact, reassure Phoenix.

It’s okay enough at first, if only because Nick is just too tired and hurts too much to think about it or care about much beyond finding a comfortable position to sleep in and figuring out how to breathe without it making his chest feel like it’s full of broken glass. But as he starts improving, the tension slowly ratchets up, because Phoenix still doesn’t understand why Miles volunteered for this and the only possible explanations he can think of aren’t really good (most involve having him in the prosecutor’s debt, which is not what he wants). Miles, meanwhile, isn’t aware of this tension at first...but gradually he becomes more and more aware of the silence around Phoenix. It was understandable at first, because he was fresh out of the hospital and still recovering, but the longer it goes on the more noticeable it becomes, and he knows it means something but he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Eventually, though, it all does come out, because Miles finally broaches the subject of his own accord by asking Phoenix what he’d been planning to say that night: he’d said he can’t do “this” anymore, but he never said what “this” is. And even though he’s aware that nothing is likely to cme of it, Phoenix explains exactly what his problem is and has been for so long: the one-sided relationship where he’s the one doing all the work and making all the concessions and getting none of his own needs met in return. It’s exhausting, and he can’t do it anymore. And rather than fighting or arguing the point, Miles -- who has never had a relationship like this before -- asks what needs Phoenix has, and how can he meet them. He concedes the point, he admits that he’s been in the wrong and needs to change, and asks for help figuring out where to start -- because he came so close this time to losing Phoenix permanently, and that realization scares him more than he can say.

Phoenix is pretty well dumbstruck. But he recognizes, too, that this isn’t easy for Miles. He’s reaching out, he’s trying...and even though Nick had intended to cut his losses that night in his office before everything went so wrong, he decides to give this one last shot.

And when Miles listens to what he says, and actively responds and adjusts...he can’t help hoping that this turnabout will end up well.

#replies #cianidix #ace attorney #fanfiction #crime of passion #i wrote the whole thing out in a doc this time so there tumblr #only downside is that i had to go through and manually add formatting again #but that's a small price to pay for not losing my whole summary #also yes i promise that things eventually work out with them #communication is good okay and edgeworth learns this lesson the hard way #but he's able to save the ship before it sinks #and slowly he starts to really gain phoenix's trust #the relationship they end up with is so near and dear to my heart #but this is definitely my magnum opus for the ace attorney fandom #i seem to have one for every fandom i engage in #at present i have five total #it'll be six if i can ever figure out which of the 3h ones is my crowning achievement

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t-citurnity-moved · 4 years

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caaaineee whomst is this troy fellow!! how would ya describe ur wife to someone who doesn't do b. lands 👀

Hewwo!!! I’d be very happy to educate you about my wifey!!! (For those of you who don’t know, calling Troy “my wife” is an inside joke. Basically, if asked who is the wife in the relationship between him and Caine, Troy would 100% say it’s *him* that’s the wife, and I quote, “obviously.”)

Now that’s out of the way, please read below the cut to learn about my wife and why I love him!

Troy Calypso! He’s a tall, feral rat man who’s stolen my heart. ❤️❤️❤️

Troy is Tyreen’s twin brother (I’d like to think that neither of them are really sure who’s “older,” so they constantly argue over it.) And because they were conjoined twins, Troy, like Tyreen, is a Siren!

(Sirens are “mystical” people in B//lands who have unique powers like Lilith’s phasewalk, which allows her to avoid damage (becoming invulnerable & invisible to enemies). In Troy and Tyreen’s case, they have Phaseleech, which allows them to power their abilities by “leeching” others! Tyreen can do it with everyone, turning them into husks, while Troy can only do it to other Sirens, which I guess absorbs them out of existence? It’s not really explained.)

So, yeah! Troy’s considered fairly weak by the fandom and the like and they’re not exactly wrong, because his boss battle isn’t that hard at all, but I’d like to think he’s a lot stronger than a lot of people give him credit for! I also like to think that he’s just very misguided and misunderstood, but like... who doesn’t when they’re talking about their wife, right?

Anyway, Troy is a very complicated person. I’d like to think that he struggles a lot due to how he was raised and the events happening around him as per the game. I think maybe he does truly believe in what he and Tyreen are doing, but he struggles to comprehend it as the “right” thing sometimes; it leads to a lot of doubts and questioning himself.

[SPOILERS]

I also think that, despite appearances, him and Tyreen fight a lot more than usual siblings do. It’s very obvious in game that Tyreen doesn’t give two shits about Troy, based on how she deals with his death; instead of checking to see if he’s still alive (which he could’ve very well been) or if he’s okay, she chooses to leech him right away. There’s also a lot of the word “parasite” thrown around between them, because of Troy needing to be cut from Tyreen when they were young.

I also believe that the reason Tyreen was shocked when they learned Troy could leech other Sirens was less because she feels some sense of “being replaced” and more of a sense of Troy not needing her any more and growing into his own person without her - it’s not because she cares, it’s because she’s losing control over him in some sense. Tbh, I could ramble on for ages about how I believe Tyreen is a manipulator and the like in canon (I write her very different from how she comes off in canon tho, so her and Troy do genuinely care for each other as part of my fanon.)

I think Troy wants to do good things and he wants to be a good person, but ultimately, he has to rely on Tyreen because she’s the only thing keeping him alive. He saves Lilith when Tyreen wants to completely leech her and I truly think that was a peek at how much of a good person he wants to be, but he’s held back by the limitations of his own existence.

Troy is someone who I think seeks out affection and attention from people without really thinking about what he has to do to attain it. (Very much like someone who might act out of line just because it gets them the attention they didn’t have as a child.) And I think it’s because he gets so much attention from cult members that fails to look at the consequences of his own actions; he thrives off attention and subsequently becomes blinded by it. Even then, in moments of clarity, I do think he’s capable of doing the right thing if he knows how.

I honestly think he’s a product of a bad upbringing and that’s what drives him to seek out attention by any means necessary - and hey, having a cult and endless followers means he gets as much as he wants when he wants it! That being said, I do think if he was given the opportunity to do the right thing, he would. Especially if someone was there to guide him.

[From this point forward, it’s all self ship stuff, babey.]

More oft than not, this is where Caine comes in. Caine might not be morally correct in most senses of the word (being a mercenary, so his moral compass depends on where money leads him), but I do think that he’s a guiding figure in Troy’s life as well as someone who provides him with all the attention and care that Troy craves - and moreover, needs.

And it’s because Caine is able to lead Troy to be a better person that Troy actually does make more of an attempt. He tries. Sometimes he fails. But more than anything, he learns. He learns that whenever he does well, he is rewarded in the same manner than when he’s done bad. In fact, he finds that whenever he does something out of line, he gets the opposite of what he wants. So, he does better. And he works harder. And despite everything, people start to come around - they start to see him as something more than what he was, and he feels loved.

And that is why I love Troy. Because he’s capable of being so much more if he just has someone to keep his head on straight. If he has someone to teach him how to do things differently; if he has someone to show him that there is so much more than doing what Tyreen expects of him simply because he has to rely on her. He just needs someone to show him that he’s capable of doing good and he is capable of being loved and he can change for the better.

He’s just... a little badly written, is all.

And since you sat through all of that, there is another gif of my wife for good measure!

Thank you for letting me ramble about him, I love him so much.

#long post #anonymous #c.txt #ship (siren's call)#tr.oy #LOOK I AM SO SORRY THAT I RAMBLED BUT I HONEST TO GOD HAD TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST #AND ONCE I STARTED I COULDN'T STOP.#that's troy in a nutshell!#+ some shippy things and general headcanon #uhhh if you have more qs please feel free to ask!!#i am here to answer :>#this is somewhere between legit information / character analysis / gush / my headcanons you can pry from my cold dead hands

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nomadiiccc · 4 years

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5 9 10 11 12 [ SHIPPING MEME. ]

[ meme ]

5. how easily does your muse fall in love?

loki is usually pretty slow to truly fall in love. he’s someone who reveals more layers the longer you know him, that way it’s easier for him to control how deeply you can see him, and thus, hurt him. he might act like he’s in love, with warm intimacy and long conversations, but he’s not actually in love. it’s not that everything is shallow one-night stands and flirtation, it’s just that with his long lifespan, he knows how fleeting things can be, and it’s great that something might last a few years, but most things will come to an end. now, human loki is a little different. he’s still very guarded, still carries that same depth of emotion that god!loki does, but he might fall for someone a lot easier. generally in my modern verses he’s known for flitting from person to person, and some of those relationships have been very deep and have served to shatter him just that little bit more.

( but also tbh in rp i tend to move into romantic declarations and deep ships fairly quickly if the chemistry is there. slow burn is great in theory, and it works for fics where you can plot ahead & know where the twists and turns are, but collaborative writing is a little more difficult with all the unknowns in the direction things could lead. )

9. who are some characters you ship your muse with?

oh man. so i’ve had some awesome OC ships in the past, notably with a night-elf and a reaper both played by my friend salem, and i will ALWAYS ship those muses. um, i have also shipped loki with salem’s oswald cobblepot from the gotham tv show, and i can also see him being a beautiful stabby husband to victor zsasz -- at the very least you can’t deny that they would make great partners in crime. other crossover ships i’ve imagined include loki/thranduil and this absolutely beautiful soulmate thing i’m writing with my tumblr wife @prlman, elio from call me by your name.

as far as marvel canon goes, it’s almost a better idea to ask who i DON’T ship my muse with. xD my biggest marvel ship is frostiron. it’s actually the ship that got me into marvel after a friend of mine suggested i might enjoy these two idiots and the fandom at large. i did, and that’s been 6 years ago now, and i’m still just as in love with my snark husbands. i also enjoy several really great thorki ships with some friends from my bdsm discord group, covey of keys, and omg i will always remember the beautiful ships i had with a thor who no longer RPs, both a modern verse & a canon setting. i definitely ship loki with other versions of loki. i also ship frostshield! never understood it until i read the series remember this cold ( which has a lot of newer installments i still need to read now! ) fandroki! sometimes even sifki! winterfrost ( loki/bucky ), which i have even played as an ot3 including thor. my guilty ship though would probably be what i’m calling space princes, which is loki and peter quill. i just think peter’s particular brand of humor would at first annoy loki before it becomes incredibly endearing. and they can both relate to sucky dads, though if we have to compare, peter’s sucks far worse.

generally speaking, if someone gives me a justification for a ship with loki, i’m usually on board. at the very least, he will usually at least have a one-night stand because why not, unless they might actually kill him?

10. do you tend to write more romantic ships, or more platonic and familial ships?

i definitely write more romantic ships, tho in the covey discord server my loki ( who goes by sim there ) has a lot of friendships that i like to explore, especially in regards to his very close friendship with @thenamesallison. given that particular setting, his friends tend to be more friends who might occasionally fuck around, but that’s just how loki is.

i really, really, REALLY want to explore more of loki & thor’s sibling relationship, though. i’d like to take the romantic aspect out of it entirely and just write them being brothers and getting up to crazy adventures in their youth. BUT OMG ESPECIALLY, give me some post-ragnarok things after the asgardians come to earth, but let them not get attacked by thanos and loki not die so he and thor can work on their relationship. also give me thor taking loki to the avengers compound and integrating him into the team with a very stern ‘if you fuck anything up you’re going to WISH i killed you’ and a ‘this is my brother and i know he’s done bad things but i swear to god he’s all i have so fucking be nice’ to the avengers team.

11. how long does your muse have to know someone before they decide to ask them out?

dude he can lock eyes with someone in a club and SILENTLY invite them to the bathroom to go fuck. he needs zero lead up. dating is a little different, but he still doesn’t need a lot of preparation. it’s not like asking someone on a date is the equivalent to proposing, so he’s pretty free with it. worst case scenario, the date goes horribly and he hops to another realm & ghosts them. there doesn’t need to be a second date.

12. what is your muse’s love language?

okay i took a quiz to find out bcuz i’m not super certain.

You respond to encouraging words

Kind words, compliments, positive feedback – this is what makes you feel loved. You are very sensitive to the power of words that do good. Tender words about your looks, clothes, human qualities, professional skills… are all highly motivating for you. You feel like you are really living and that your partner appreciates you. It’s no surprise that nothing is more hurtful to you that harsh ultimata, sarcasm or cruel words. To you words have the power to elevate, motivate or destroy. You are equally receptive to words of encouragement: those that urge you to go forward with something you were hesitating about, perhaps because you were doubting yourself. Such words proved that your partner believes in you and help you understand that your relationship is based on trust. Some advice: If your partner were to change some of their behaviours, it could help further harmonise your couple. Nothing better than for them to read the results of your test! Some people aren’t used to putting their appreciation into words, while others can be stingy with their compliments. It’s all a question of education, some wrongly thing that you can read their thoughts, so no need of saying anything. Encourage your partner to verbalise their thoughts. Teach then to tone down a little: rather than exigent demands or warnings (You didn’t do this… you must do that…) ask them to use a more requesting type language (I’d really like it if you would… it would be a help to me if you could…) As you are sensitive to compliments you would particularly appreciate it if your partner praised you, and not just when you two are along… when they get some public praise, you would be touched and flattered if they publicly associated you with their success.

sounds pretty accurate!

#vitrexanima #( ask. )#( i know i died that night & i’ll never be brought back to life | headcanons. )#*

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kinqemperor · 5 years

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Hey Nyo sorry to be bothering you but I'm fairly new to this fandom and have read through what there is of translated manga and I was kinda curious as to why Emperor x Gloves works? I really find them cute but how would they find themselves together or even getting into a relationship? Is it their personalities? Really wanna hear your thoughts I don't think anyone else has dwelve into how they would get together (at least from what I've seen) ^^

Oh! First of all welcome to the fandom, hope you enjoy your stay buddy!

Warning, lotsa rambling:!

To answer your question, oooh boi! First lets look at the times theyve met and interacted:

-They met on the mountain before, had a convo, Emperor gave him his dualies (yes, I know, he mostly gave it to him to mess with him in their battle but yknow.)

-Later in the tournament, Emp defeated him and was harsh, Gloves was shook and upset

-Then later again during Salmon Run.

-Durin the new chapters we see them at the same location- doesnt rlly mean anything, but who knows! Maybe they talked!

Okay so, its clearly obvious Gloves sees Emp as an idol and respects him, when he met him on the mountain he was totally surprised and starstruck. My personal headcanon is that he had a lil celebrity crush on him at that time- which just got worse after receiving a new trendy weapon from Emperor. So yeah, I assume til the tournament he was super excited and looked forward to battling Emp (in the mountain chapter we saw Emp being awfully polite, not showing much ego and gifting him a new weapon). After Emp defeated Gloves, we see him completely shocked on the ground,

I dont think I have to explain this scene, but Gloves had to realise his idol wasnt as nice and friendly as he thought. Emp was the complete opposite of the person Gloves met on the mountain (which mightve also been for show, since that was a public tv streamed battle and all that, who knows.)

So after that, Gloves was probably disappointed and upset as fuck, but determined to get better. Some say Gloves hated Emp after that but, ehhh I dont think so. I feel like, even tho he was hurt by his words, they also motivated him to become a better player yknow? If he really hated him, he wouldve thrown away the dualies he gave him, or at least said some sort of bad thing about him. Which he didnt.

Bla bla bla, stuff happens, bla bla Blue defeated Team Emp, Gloves and everyone else watched. Emp went to become a better King aaand,

now the Salmon stuff happens, when they meet again, months after the tournament (talking bout the tournament where emp defeated gloves) and dualie event happened,

We see them fighting and working together,

We see them being dorky,

and most importantly, this scene:

He complimented him, and Gloves seemed to appreciate it quite a lot, he sees it as an honour to receive a compliment from him. Which means, Gloves still respects him, still sees him as someone important, and clearly doesnt dislike him.

All of that makes a decent amount of chemistry already, everything that follows after this is pure imagination and headcanons!

Sooo, their personalities! I love them! I personally think they work together perfectly,

you got this rich, cocky, (pretty clueless) famous dude with a huge ego, and a trend seeking, energetic and dorky cool kid. What more could you ask for lmao.

Ahem anyways, I personally like to imagine Gloves managed to befriend Emp! Whether its through convos during locations they all met at, or somewhere else. They have the usual convo stuff and learn a lil more bout each other, get closer over time, meet up a few times and do fun stuff! Like, turfing, watching a movie, playing video games!

(We see Emp being completely clueless when it comes to basically anything outside of turf, he doesnt even know how washing machines work. So Id like to think Gloves shows him the basics of life lmao. I personally rped this with a friend, it was great! Gloves showed Emp pop tarts ksksks.)

Anyways! Then the usual developing feeelings happeensss,

and theres lotsa awkward momentssss, and theyre both completely obliviouss

and then their first date happensss, and then,

gay happens.

Okay Im so sorry I got lazy at the end but like I said, everything that happens after the Salmon event is interpretation, and you can imagine that however you like! I just love the idea of Gloves showing Emp all this basic life stuff he never experienced, like fucking taking him to Mc Donalds or something, just, showing him fun stuff yknow! Helping him become a better person! AAaa im shit at explaining but i hope you somehow understand why I love these two so much lmao. If I could Id show yall the amazing rps ive done that are full of lovely development of those two, but yknow, private stuuufff!

But yeahHhh, rambling over- this is super long im so sorry!

#ask #anon #long #long response

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cuddleslutloki · 5 years

Text

2018 fics, a year in review

i’m a madman, but even my crazy ass probably won’t finish and post another fic in the last 6 hours of 2018, so here are all the fics i posted on ao3 this year, plus some thoughts on each!

Hemlock Honey and Silver

this was my last ever supernatural fandom fic. literally the end of an era for me since i was in the spn fandom for so damn long and wrote so much fic, about two-thirds of which has been orphaned on the archive at this point because i didn’t like the stories anymore lol.

i do like that one, though, and i’m actually alright with it being my last ever spn/destiel fic

Fire In Your Veins

this was my first time posting thorki fic! i was so, so nervous about it, but everyone in this fandom is so chill and lovely. i still like this one, and i don’t think i write enough 69ing lmao. also this fic was obvs the start of something bigger bc. i mean. i’ve written so much damn fic now lol since i only started posting in june. i was worried that i wasn’t going to be writing anymore, or that i’d never be posting on ao3 again because it had been literally 2 full years between hemlock honey and silver and the fic that preceded it. then i fell into thorki and i started writing fic and it’s just been such a huge, huge thing. bc i’m also writing original stuff again for the first time in forever.

Underdressed and All Out of Time

a direct sequel to fire in your veins, i really like it. i felt like i was able to characterize loki fairly well in this one bc i was very insecure about the way i wrote loki when i started out

A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them

who doesn’t love a fic title from a hozier song? i remember writing this fic and wondering if it was any good and if my characterization was okay and still being nervous and insecure in my writing, but it’s been very well received so i kinda got my inner critic to stfu which is nice lol. i also really enjoyed doing this vignette style story

To Always Face the Sun

what if :) loki was happy :) and thor had his brother back :) lol i really liked writing this and having loki being such a little shit tbh. can we tell that i like a happy ending in fic?

Blue On Gold

so i wrote an arranged marriage fic where they never actually get married and it’s still 15.8k lmfao. also the return of the vignette style, which was fun bc i got to do short, impactful scenes and build the narrative with them. i remember sitting at my desk at work, on my phone, writing this fic, then coming home and editing on a damn tablet bc my laptop bricked earlier this year

the warmth of your doorway

i meant to capitalize the title but at this point i’ve decided to leave it lol. i really loved writing this bc i felt very confident in the way i was building the scenes and the detail i was able to incorporate. i feel like this is where i really kinda go my voice back and i start to come into my own, if that makes sense? one of my fave fics i’ve ever written tbh. there’s a longer ‘verse for this, but after i finished this fic i got too distracted by new projects to try and continue it lol

Tell Me

this was my first trans!loki fic and he’s a trans man, and god i love it. i’ve got another ftm loki story as a WIP in my gdocs bc this story showed me how much i fucking love writing trans characters, and i really enjoyed the dynamic i put into this fic. there’s a sequel planned lol it’s gonna be dirty

Interwoven

i still haven’t managed to ever find the post that inspired this damn fic and if you wonder whether that drives me up the wall the answer is yes (: and fun fact! i intentionally never describe loki’s genitals in this fic, bc i was picturing him as a trans guy since i’d just written tell me and now i have a massive obsession with writing trans romance and erotica

Tie Breaker

in this house we love and appreciate bottom thor!!! also i loved writing the sparring at the beginning. it makes me wanna write more fics w/ brutal fight scenes lol. thor’s slutty drunk cape outfit is iconic and i’m gonna read that comic just for that outfit honestly

Pretense of Subjugation

i became drunkenly obsessed with loki manspreading on the throne of asgard and this was the result. this was the first thorki fic of mine that i’d had beta’d and it was vastly, vastly improved by it. the tips @ktspree13 gave me when she helped with this fic have affected literally every single fic i’ve written since

Double and More

so this is not the first thorki fic i ever posted, of course, however it is the first i ever started writing. i got to the point where loki’s in thor’s lap and then i kinda blanked out and let the fic sit for like... 2 or 3 months? then i opened it back up and i was like “oh i like this i should finish this” which is why i don’t delete anything anymore bc there’s always a chance i’ll come back to it

Ringback Tone

y’all owe @thotki for the wondrous idea they presented in discord that ended up creating this fic. i think i wrote this fic in like 3 days bc of how much fun i was having with it. the dirty talk was my favorite thing to write in this and i remember distinctly having this [:< moment when i was daydreaming about it

Seldom All They Seem

there was an impromptu bottom thor day back on 20 oct and this fic was my contribution. we can never have enough time travel, can we? i remember i think i took like a four day weekend from work and part of my motivation was literally wanting to finish this fic in time to post it lmfao

Fluffy Thorki Sunday Ficlets

i started doing fluffy thorki sunday back when i was on bourbonbucky and i continued it here, and i’m proud that i’ve written at least 1 piece for fluffy thorki sunday every sunday since i started. i love doing fluff and smut, and honestly even when my mood has been shit, i’ve always felt motivated to try and improve it at least enough to write some nice fluff. i put all of these on ao3 once i moved blogs

Let Love Disrupt

this is another fic we owe to discord lmao. i remember posting this when i was either very drunk or very tired and having to keep going onto ao3 on my damn phone browser to correct minor shit, and some not so minor shit like a typo in the title bc at first it said “distrupt” and that’s why i only post when i’m awake and sober now lmfao

Without Fear

i love werewolves (: a whole bunch (: and this fic is something dirty and wonderful that i’m proud of and THERE’S ART bc @nekokat42 is a blessing and takes commissions. kot i love u :3

On the Other Side Like Always

i have a lot of feelings about this fic. there’s an entire future in this ‘verse that i would so love to write, but i’m stuck on where to go with it. as it stands i am satisfied with this as a story of thor and loki coming together, and a story about how loki does something out of desperation but is finally given something genuine and comforting in his life like he’s always deserved. THERE’S ART from the wondrous @boltplumart / @mrhiddles bc allie is perfect :]

Runaway

when i tell y’all i’m a trash gremlin king. i do have a thing for writing underage characters with adults (probs due to messy personal history lmfao ain’t gonna look at that too closely) and so writing this one was a fun little bit of self indulgence. also it’s dirty and really plays into codependency, which i always like writing bc it’s a fun thing to explore in fiction

Sunset Rhapsody

this fic. was supposed to be. two thousand words. at most. then thor smiled at me, as the writer, and was like “i want to own him” and we ended up with 11k of thor’s obsessive bs and loki being brutal. joking aside, i love this fic, i love what i did with it, i have an original story i wanna write for my size kink anthology that will follow a similar thread to this one. also that torture scene. i don’t recall if i ever properly wrote torture before, but this did kinda make me squirm a bit when i was writing it and if you’ve read it you know precisely which scene i’m talking about lmfao

Right to Guard

this fic was honestly very emotionally satisfying for me in a pretty visceral way. writing thor just surrendering to love and spoiling the fuck out of loki was pretty damn cathartic.

A Bite of Lamb

me making sure i never lose my title as a trash gremlin king. honestly writing thor’s POV in this fic was like >.> at myself a couple times bc it felt distinctly dark in a way i’d never written another character. a very, very unhealthy kind of obsession and this twisted logic where he’s trying to make it all okay. i really fucking love this damn fic tho and i’m happy with how it came out.

Seamless

i was so, so frustrated and pissed off at work that i needed to let that shit out, so that was channeled into this very guilt-ridden turned tender fic, and i really enjoyed writing it. loved writing thor taking care of his baby sister. also! KOT IS FUCKING AMAZING and drew this bc they’re such a good fucking person ;A; like they sent me a message and just said “really liked this scene” and i was D Y I N G and i still am. thank you again, kot!

The Way A Rose Blooms

this was written for the thorki secret santa exchange! i drew @chickcheney and honestly the list of prompts was so, so good. bottom thor, arranged marriage, semi-public sex and trying not to be caught, body worship. i was like “damn did i draw myself wtf” bc that is all up my alley.

Sugar Cookie

i honestly could not think of a better fic to finish off 2018 for me than sugar cookie. porn and emotions that’s all this is, but it features loki as a trans woman being loved and appreciated as she is with nothing extra expected of her and it was so satisfying to write. it makes me want to write original romance with trans women, which i’ll definitely do bc i loved writing this hungry and tender story and i’m very happy with how i ended it.

so that was 2018 for me!

#baylen fic

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cryptidofthekeys · 5 years

Note

All the writer asks!!!!!!

I’ve already answered the pen n paper one so I’ll leave that one out and answer the rest haha

ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?

hmmm… well to usually set the mood would depend on the type of story I’m writing, if its horror/really angsty shit then I’m definitely going for dark themed music, if its something fluffy n cute- then im gonna go for some really happy upbeat music, so to set the mood- it’d usually depend on the genre

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?

……Shhh… Let’s keep those my dirty little secret… (their not nsfw, thats not what I mean by that just to clarify)

journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?

Hmm I guess I’ve done it once or twice before, but I dont do it too often-

novella: do you prefer to write short stories, one-shots, or entire novels?

I don’t think I’ve even came CLOSE to an entire novel but, I do a lot of short-stories and ESPECIALLY one-shots, im not very good at chapter based stories or anything

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.

Ooooh fuck this is a tough one, Im too lazy to link it but- in my Yan!Henrik story there were some parts I ABSOLUTELY loved and felt were p damn good and in the werewolf story I wrote as well, some good parts in there too, but I definitely feel more fond over some of the scenes in the Yan!Hen story than any other one

genre: what genre do you prefer to write in?

Honestly, I’m pretty open to genres, like- fantasy, science-fiction, etc- the whole shabang- im not too picky bout any of them-

narrator: what pov do you like writing in best?

hmmm I guess like- wouldnt it technically be in third person with the way I write, for the reader its always You and or they, I always keep a story gender-neutral so that way all readers can be who they want to be in the stories, it can give them a better chance to imagine themselves in said position, now if i got a specific thing to do, male, female, non-binary, etc- then yeah I’d do that

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

That’s a- actually kinda simple tbh- its not an interesting story- At first I was actually unsure about it, but then- the more I wrote, the more I got super into it- It was just… super fun to me after I did it for awhile

time-lapse: how long have you been writing (as a hobby or for work)?

It’s a hobby for now, but I do wish I could open commissions- but hmm its been like, maybe 5-6 years by now, maybe even a bit longer

characterization: describe your favorite character(s) you’ve written.

You should know this for sure haha, my favorite characters to write with tho- I’ll just say who they are, all the septic egos p much except… im still not too confident with writing Angus yet, some of the Iplier egos, like the Jims, Harold, and Eric, and I’m trying to branch out to other fandoms, I like writing with David n Daniel, from the cc fandom, and I’m trying to work on Dream Daddy characters too, Joseph, Robert, Mary, etc- and then my own characters too- I dont write wiht them often but I try

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

hmmm… I get inspired fairly easily so it’d be hard for me to name anything like that off the top of my head tbh

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

…. Why not ALL the tropes? …okay maybe not ALL of them

o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?

Eh, im a p open person to tropes/genres- I mean unless like a trope could count as in, like- “it was all a dream” or “you were the killer all along” or some shit like that, then that type of shit isnt REALLY my cup of tea

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

There’s a lotta things I think I could improve on, honestly… I think, its not a matter of insecurity really, more so like- no matter who you are, there’s always room for improvements, I think we all improve on things every day, writing, drawing, roleplaying, even simple things- after all, there’s nowhere to really go except forward in life, so I just tend to go with my own flow, and if I improve than I’m happy with that, if I dont? Welp, that just means I still have a bit to go-

playlist: what kind of music/songs help you write? do you have a writing playlist?

oh god I w i s h I was organized enough to fucking- have a writing playlist ashdjshfdsj, it just depends on my mood- sometimes I get distracted by songs tho-

record: have you written things based off of songs? do you like to?

…I wrote one, its a really old one and im not too proud of it, but, people like it apparently so I keep it up since it seems to make em happy and thats what matters in that regard, but nah im not BIG on writing things based off songs

nobel: have you published anything you’ve written? online or irl?

Hmmm not yet, I don’t think I’m ready to physically publish my stories or anything, although my dad does encourage it, he tells me I should find a publisher or whatever and publish some stories (it wouldnt be ones with like- characters from things like camp camp, dream daddy, etc of course- it’d be ones with my own characters)

notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?

D e f i n i t e l y a specific place and mood, my mood’s totally off and wrong right now and its frustrating bc im trying to write but the body and brain is like no motherfucker, be in pain and hate me more than you already do

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

I dont… know if ANY of my personal life has… influenced my writing? not that I know of anyways

dedication: if you were to publish a book or multiple, who would you dedicate the book(s) to?

I think… I dont know who I’d dedicate the books too or anything-

trope: what’s a pet peeve you have about writing?

…honestly? The one pet peeve I, myself, have with writing is the I/Me POV- now of course its fine if others use it, it could be easier to them, or they simply like it a lot, but I myself, just- cant fucking s t a n d that type of pov

input: what’s something you hate that people say to you about writing/your writing?

Okay- I need to be honest here, bc I get a lot of them, when I constantly state that I only do one shots and not chapter stories but the whole “pls continue” “another part to this please” “Do more of this” that doesnt really make me wanna do more, it makes me wanna move on actually from any of that, like im not about that plz continue, do more!!! type of comments

critic: what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about writing?

Oh god I’ve received TONS of good advice from people, especially when it comes to some of the German I use for Henrik, I will admit… I’ve been severely slacking with learning my German, and I…. I deeply regret it tbh, but- I never mind and am actually grateful when someone corrects me when using a word incorrectly in a sentence or whatever

mifflin: what do you feel is your strong suit in writing?

A n g s t

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

I love all compliments tbh, I especially love comments on my angst like NO HOW DARE YOU OP, or OP wha t the f uck- my he a r t, or anything like that- …im a sadistic lil gremlin arent I? I love breakin hearts with angst, but like any compliments I receive on my stories are all greatly appreciated, I just most of the time I dont have the time to respond to them, BUT- I do read em, every last one of em-

#evantrash #writer asks

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daggersandsparks · 5 years

Text

Shipping info meme.

Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER ? Hnng. This is hard. So her canon OTP is with my other muse Lorelei. She... Has a few ships >.> I don’t like picking one! I love them! I’ll go with favourite OTP dynamic. [Yes I’m cheating. deal with it] Which is murder couple! Basically the dynamic where they’re both badass, willing to kill, etc., but absolutely adore each other and shower eachother with affection and love when it’s just them?

[This includes Vulpes @ratherxintense, Aidan @remember-navarro [/ @enclaveborn] and Pagan [ @pagnmin].

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING ? Not as much as you’d think? I love writing shippy stuff, and I’m not going to shy away from darker topics, but I actually don’t have any desire to have Mairwen be in abusive relationships, and I can only do toxic ones if they’re plotted and with muns I know/trust.

Having personally been in [multiple] abusive relationships before, I do try to make sure to avoid romanticizing and I tend to keep it to situations where Mairwen is aware of what it is and is okay with being in it because she hates herself. I’ll only do a “ship” where the other muse is a mark under the whole plotted/familiar dynamic as well because those are instances where Mairwen can actually be abusive.

I will write NSFW drabbles and answers [even without a ship because fwbs/one night stands]. But I’m fairly selective with smut threads. And I go back and forth on not doing them at all. [Might on discord, but. I prefer to just write drabbles or discuss the nsfw headcanons.]

HOW LARGE DOES AN AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE ? I don’t ship Mairwen with muses that are under 18. Other than that, I don’t really have a specific age gap limit. It depends on the muses themselves and their dynamic. It’s very hard to ship Mairwen with a naive or innocent muse. If she feels like she needs to protect them, it’s unlikely that a ship is going to work because she sees them as more of a younger sibling. I won’t ship with muns under 19. Why 19? That’s how long I’ve been RPing online.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING ? Yes and no. I’m willing to give most of them a shot, but despite how affection and loving Maiwen is, it’s actually hard to get her dedicated to a romantic relationship. And sometimes when I think a ship might work. She... Won’t be into it. Still figuring out some of the why’s there. She’s fickle. [And pushing for a ship or jumping into loving/dedicated directly from flirting will kill a ship for me, on the mun’s side.]

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW ? Once it passes ‘sensual’ to ‘sexual’. Which is a hard thing to define, but short version is once we’re under the clothes [or playing with nipples/genitals over the clothes]. It usually gets put under a cut before then tho. I don’t post too many nsfw images except on sinday. and it’s either top-nudity or implied sex. [Tho never those two at the same time.]

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH ? .So many. SO MANY. I’ll mention the more discussed ones. Most of Jett’s muses, first off. [Notably Floyd, Kevin, Seamus. @tidesofwcr / @thcroux]. @iculltheweak‘s Jacob. Scratch at @thx-lost-yxars. @pridefulwitchbtch‘s Cordelia. Lucio at @cicero-the-assassin [even if she’s never gonna say it]. and Rose! @atcmbcmb-baby.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU ? YES. While Mairwen is a big flirt and can be fond of people, for it to be a ship, it needs to have chemistry and we need to talk to establish some stuff. Sometimes the ship will develop naturally without us discussing it, but. That’s kind of rare for us to be on the same page because of Mairwen’s tendency for casual relationships.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP ? I don’t have a specific frequency? I just don’t like dropped ships. I don’t understand the question?

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS ? I’m actually ship more - or - less, though it might seem that I’m ship obsessed because ship stuff tends to be the easiest for me to answer when stressed. [Mostly because the mun and I have built a solid dynamic with the muses.]

ARE YOU MULTI-SHIP ? Yes! I actually also love putting ships in the same timeline by verse, or just having cross over there. [Example, Mairwen is involved with... At least six people in her Main Courier/Fallout verse.]

WHAT IS / ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIPS IN YOUR FANDOM(S) ? I was gonna do non-RP ships. But uh. I’ve been in RP land too long. Most of them would be PC/canon muse. But! I’m gonna give shout outs to ships on my dash instead. Imma avoid gushing about them all and just list them. @deadeyedrifter and @nonukesthanks ; @distantpagesandpapercuts & @iinxsearchofxisolde ; @pagnmin & @mohnghxle ; @snaggletoothed & @tabellarium & @ranger-a7

HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU ? Talk to me! Honestly, I can get super excited about ships and fall head in and figure out ways they could work really easily when muns talk to me and they’re excited. Headcanons are my jam. Ships are my jam. But... Don’t come at me with the intention to only ship, and then back off when you don’t get that. It kills my vibe with any sort of character dynamic, but it’s even worse with romantic/sexual shipping.

#;psa #;shipping

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