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verycharismaticdragon · 8 months

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@mandlien: Op where is the essay 👀 @latitudeoctopus: An essay I would like to see 🙏

Glad u asked! <-guy who was totally angling for someone to ask

OG post this continues from, for those just tuning in now:

actually SQQ's first encounter with LQG perfectly illustrates which of SY's idiosyncrasies perfectly converged to make him absolutely obsessed with Binghe, in this essay i will

So, to start with, the explanation for why I think this scene in particular is more illuminating than all of SQQ's interactions with actual LBH.

That's because there's not a single scene in the novel where his interactions with LBH-the-person are not colored by pre-existing bias of already being obsessed with LBH-the-character. Like, consider the scene where he appraises Shen Qingqiu's looks, and finishes it off with:

He still couldn’t compare to Luo Binghe. (vol.1, ch.1)

despite not having seen Luo Binghe in person yet. But no, he's already convinced his beloved blorbo is of course The Handsomest Ever!

Simply speaking, we never encounter Shen Yuan pre-Binghe Syndrome (when instead of brain there's binghe). So it's difficult to tell whether any particular way he thinks or feels in Binghe’s presence is the standard for him, or owed to the fact that he already likes Binghe in at least one way.

But the same can not be said of Liu Qingge: while SY did have some interest in his character, he didn’t really think of him before encountering him in Lingxi Caves. Plus, unlike Binghe who seems to have fully aligned with SQQ’s expectations of him, LQG had given him a little shock — which prompted some re-evaluation of his prev thoughts on SQQ's part.

(cont. under cut)

Now is a good time to mention that I arrived at thinking about this scene while considering Shen Yuan's relationship with toxic masculinity — and remembering I jotted down 'Shen Yuan's fascination with masculinity' in my reread notes for this scene.

[Bai Zhan Peak] was the most warlike of Cang Qiong Mountain's branches, as well as the branch with the greatest martial ability. Every single generation's Bai Zhan Peak Lord was a world-class swordmaster, a victor of countless battles, an undefeated legend. How hot-blooded—how dashing! Male readers always fervently admired strong characters. Even though Liu Qingge never officially debuted on page, he hadn't lacked for fans, and Shen Yuan had been especially fascinated with him. In his headcanon, Liu Qingge had been a sharp and manly man, powerful and magnificent. A war god, right?! (vol.1, ch.2)

So, Shen Yuan’s fascination with Liu Qingge’s character — or rather his headcanon version of it — is about Liu Qingge being someone who (in SY’s mind) embodies masculine qualities. And what qualities are those? From this section, being “strong” (has to be physically powerful) and “undefeated” (can’t be a loser) — yeah, pretty standard toxic masc starting kit.

And something of interest here: though SQQ describes it mostly as his own feelings, even in this excerpt, he slips in a “male readers always [...] admired” — which, when considering everything else we know about his relationship to masculinity, kind of gives off an insecurity vibe. He seems to be either trying to justify his own feelings (i.e., ‘other men feel the same way, i’m in-group not out-group, i’m not failing at being a man by feeling this way [admiring another man]’), or else emulating other male fans and trying to convince himself he relates to the story the same way they do (i.e., ‘male readers admire strong characters and im a man therefore i definitely also admire the same things’).

Speaking of emulating other male fans, there’s another quality that SY seems to associate with masculinity, this one not very related to Liu Qingge — though SQQ does make a mental detour into it in the same scene, when talking about other Peaks.

Yeah, when he mentions Xian Shu, and the fact that the popularity of self-insert erotic/lewd fics about Xian Shu "compared to that of the original work” in PIDW fandom, or possibly even in general on ‘Zhongdian’ (since afaik you can publish fanfiction on Chinese webnovel sites alongside original works, you just have to tag it as such). In other words, among male fans.

But we know SY doesn’t like sex scenes, right? Hell, his favorite wife is Liu Mingyan at least in part because she doesn’t have sex scenes:

There was one more appeal factor. Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes. (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course… that’s what SQQ says in his head where nobody can hear him. We actually have evidence of him singing a different tune when among other fans:

Most of the female protagonists are stupid sexy lamps, and the male lead doesn't even bed Liu Mingyan, the only breath of fresh air? He doesn't bed the rightful empress? Are you fucking kidding me? (vol.4, ch.26, part 1)

(speaking of, this is why ‘peerless cucumber is SY’s true self’ takes baffle me. his toxicmascsona is his true self, really?)

So SY has another qualifier for ‘manly man’ in his head: being sexual (of course, in a straight way). Which is not something that comes naturally to him, as evidenced by him cringing away from any actual action even when he tries to emulate the thought pattern, e.g.:

Qi Qingqi? She was indeed slightly junior to him, and their first meeting...he'd long forgotten how it went. "Often together" wasn't quite right, though. Perhaps he at times dared to think about going to Xian Shu Peak so they could be "often together," but while he had the wicked intentions, he lacked the courage required to follow through—and he could never commit an act as depraved as stalking. (vol.4, ch.23)

Riiiight, SQQ, you totally have those 'wicked intentions' that you merely can't follow through on because you just invented reasons not to.

But that does give us an image of SY’s ideal of masculinity. Extremely powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual… yeah no points for guessing who. I’m pretty sure SQQ even directly equates Bing-ge with masculinity somewhere, I just can’t remember the exact spot. And he also believes that any man should definitely want to be in Bing-ge’s place, like for example here:

Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vie with each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next—that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism. (vol.1, ch.2)

…though I must note, once again, “every man”, “every male organism” — but does SQQ actually feel the same way? I think that the answer is he thinks that he should, and is trying to convince himself that he does.

Which must be difficult considering he finds men more attractive than women, returning back to that scene with Liu Qingge.

In any other state, Shen Qingqiu might have declared, "What a beautiful man!" (vol.1, ch.2)

Really bestie? You would've declared it? Because I don't see you show the same enthusiasm about women. In fact, you usually jump right into how they were described in the novel, as if you don't have your own opinion.

Now, I must note that I personally don’t think finding someone attractive equals actually being attracted to them. But this does imply which way SQQ's tastes veer. In fact, we can even see that he has a type. First, he describes LQG's face as "as beautiful as a fine woman's"; then adds:

This was clearly the face of a charming young master who arranged flowers and plucked farewell willow branches! (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course, if we are talking about charming young masters with feminine looks, their bearing that of a classic Chinese gentleman (warrior-scholar ideal who’d ‘pluck farewell willow branches’)...

That firm yet humble countenance, demonstrating his noble and unyielding spirit. That pencil-straight back and stance, evincing a proud core that would rather break than bend! (vol.1, ch.1)

[SQQ] saw a glimpse of the future Luo Binghe's unique grace, that of "eyes like cold stars, a soft and radiant smile, with muted words and quiet laughter." (vol.1, ch.1)

In truth, deep down, Bing-ge's fair and clean pretty-boy type didn't really suit the tastes of "Great Master" Airplane Flying Towards the Sky. He had only assigned this sort of configuration to the protagonist to meet his stallion hardware specifications. The art of growing stallions was grounded in science, and the research was clear: women preferred men who looked cultured, pretty, and even a bit soft and feminine. (vol.4, ch.26, part 2)

…there’s no question who is superlative in SQQ’s heart. To boot, he doesn’t even realize that he’s biased about LBH’s attractiveness, as we can see from Airplane-bro’s musings above. So that’s Cucumber-bro’s type: cultured, pretty, a bit feminine.

See, a fun little discrepancy here: what SQQ sees as a masculine ideal and therefore can admire plainly — again, powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual, — and what he finds attractive in a man, under all those layers of denial, are two pretty different things.

Liu Qingge, despite his appearance unveiling a side of both to us, doesn’t actually fully embody either type: on the masculinity side, he is missing the hypersexuality, on the attractiveness side, his looks fit but his bearing doesn’t match.

But you know who hits all of SY’s qualifications on both counts?.. yeah, once again no points for guessing, it stars with "Bing" and ends with "ge".

So: the source of Shen Yuan’s obsession with LBH-the-character is the intersection of those two factors. Like you know that old wlw joke “I can’t tell if I wanna be her or date her”? Thats Shen Yuan with Luo Binghe, but, yknow, unconsciously. He admires LBH as an epitome of masculinity, an image of a Perfect Male to strive for; he also very much finds him attractive in a gay way.

In fact, I would even say that an important component of Binghe brainrot is that he is an acceptable target for admiration. How can SY be accused of being gay over liking a horny stallion novel? So it’s totally normal that he thinks of Binghe a lot, obviously that’s just because he looks up to him! Because Binghe is such a perfect iteration of a male stallion protagonist! Who wouldn’t want to be in his place, thinks Shen Yuan, never ever having imagined being in Binghe’s place even once. Ofc that’s only because Binghe got insane game though! Shen Yuan couldn’t hope to compare. LBH is just so admirable and sexy,, for the wives of course, the wives find him sexy, not Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan is just stating facts— etcetcetc.

Point is, LBH is a man that Shen Yuan can like without shame, because he has a whole bag of above-the-board reasons to prove that he's not liking him the wrong way. A perfect target of convergence for Shen Yuan’s conscious and unconscious thoughts (and desires).

And this is how SY ended up with the years-long hyperfix we see in the beginning of the novel.

#shen qingqiu #shen yuan #bingqiu #svsss #svsss meta #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain's self-saving system #mxtx #danmei novels

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suffarustuffaru · 5 months

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why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

#this is an impromptu ramble post i made again while taking a break from homework alsjdflsd but yeah ive been seeing people Still being #confused about this over on reddit so i felt like typing smth up about it just to try and figure this topic out!!! bc you think the emilia #camp would be voting up like roswaal as their most dangerous member right??? but no!! its canonically otto!! which is very fascinating hah.#and it genuinely doesnt make sense at first until you think about it for. a While.#re:zero #rezero #arc 8 spoilers #otto suwen #natsuki subaru #roswaal l mathers #did i write this just for that last line of this post?? maybe....

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lilbirdblu · 3 months

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obligatory disclaimer to all the "its just mc eggs its not that deep" people that this is about characters. we are allowed to post character analysis, even ones that arent positive, about fictional characters no matter what medium theyre from. this is 10000% about the characters, not the admins and there are moments i may not know about since i cant watch every pov but heres my thoughts on the sunny/leo "beef"

which it feels wrong, at this point, to even call it beef when its mostly one sided on leo's part and the adults are failing both sunny and leo

does leo have the right to be wary about the new eggs? 100%, absolutely

does that excuse her recent treatment of sunny? no

is leo to blame for her behavior? well, no, she's a child

do i think q!foolish and q!tubbo are good fathers? yes

did they both drop the ball in regards to this situation and should have handled it better? yes, but that doesnt mean its not too late now

again, i dont fault leo for being distrustful and cautious of the new eggs, its more than reasonable given what shes gone through. im glad she's warmed up to pepito and i think it's a good choice on foolish's part to not force her to interact with anyone she doesnt like while still encouraging her to try. that being said, i think he should say something to leo about how she has recently been treating sunny because it is quickly getting to the point where it is bullying, not "beef"

to be fair, maybe he hasnt seen [in character/roleplay] the extent to which she has treated sunny, and obviously none of the parents are aware of the baby fight club, but even then, someone should say something to leo if they see behavior similar to how leo treated sunny after the fight [although i believe foolish and roier are two of the only people she will actually listen to /neu] with that being said, i dont think foolish takes it very seriously and at the end day has a rather "well what can you do" type of mentality about it.

we know that leo is stubborn and can be a little hard headed, which is one of the reasons why i personally love her, but its been toeing the line in regards to sunny and i feel as though she crossed it during the baby fight club. sunny has been trying to take leo's feelings into consideration [among other eggs, such as tallulah, who excuse it as distrust of the new eggs despite being warm/neutral to both em and pepito while being harsher to sunny].

the fact that the fight ended and sunny was trying to leave when leo blocked the exit and continued to hit sunny shows that her feelings towards sunny are more than just apprehension. even ramon, leo's triplet, felt the need to step to in and separate them out of concern for sunny's well being.

i can also see the nuance of leo's behavior: its the first time where she has disliked someone and been forced to be in close vicinity/interact with them, and no one has taught her that this sort of behavior isnt ok so how is she supposed to know better?

its not an excuse by any means, but it doesnt make it any less bullying than it is. this is where the adults are failing not just sunny [by being bystanders] but theyre failing leo, too.

and sure, disagreements and fights between the eggs is interesting.. when it comes from both parties but when you have one egg--one child--who doesnt want to be around another egg child in consideration of their feelings while the other egg child vandalizes their things and hits them to the point of almost being downed--that's not a disagreement. thats bullying.

does leo have to like sunny? no

do i think that they have more in common and similar feelings of loneliness that they both dont realize, which could make way for a friendship? yes

would i mind if leo never warms up to sunny? no

its realistic. sometimes kids just.. dont get along and thats ok, its good to teach children that we arent going to get along with everyone or even like them [and not everyone is going to like us and we shouldnt try to force them to], but its also important to teach children that not liking somebody doesnt make it okay to treat them poorly or bully them.

in fact, this would be a really good situation in which both leo and sunny can learn the aforementioned, especially since their fathers are good friends that enjoy one another's company so i dont see them stopping hangouts anytime soon so leo and sunny will hopefully learn to, at the very least, be civil with one another. i hope this is the direction the story goes because a bully arc is one of the last things i personally want to watch

i understand its hard, especially when their first languages are not one that they share, but thats what the qsmp is all about, isnt it? coming together in spite of language barriers

im hoping the sunny/leo situation takes a turn for the better, even if it takes time to get to a point where they are mostly indifferent to one another w/o excessive antagonizing

with all that said, i will always have faith in the admins to give us their best, even if the outcome isnt what we wanted or expected

#qsmp crit #qsmp neg #<- just in case #blorbo thoughts

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cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb · 3 months

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Hazbin Hotel Episode 3 & 4 Opinions and Story logic (mostly)

(ignore any typos, it's 3 min til midnight and I have a con in the morning and was at one all day, i'm not reading through this)

(Episode 3: Scrambled Eggs)

It’s weird to me that Vaggie wants to get rid of the egg bois cuz like??? Are they not also sinners that need redemption? Don’t they need to be saved too? The problem was that they kept building weapons that Sir Pen told them to make. They just needed something else to do, like idk, act as staff for the hotel. They can build, so maybe they can fix the hotel up a bit more.

I get it was just so one of them could spy for Alastor, but like, just have one follow him randomly. That isn’t out of character considering the eggs don’t have one.

It doesn’t make sense to me that Vaggie is so broken up by not getting the hotel guess to bond with each other. I get that she feel like she’s failing Charlie, but like, Charlie has accomplished literally nothing up at this point.

Yeah, so far there’s only 4 episodes, and the most Charlies done in all of them is get the exterminations moved up to every six mouths and fuck over Angel majorly ( I'm soft-balling that right now).

Like she signs a random paper without reading it, which, like girl, you are the daughter of the devil, there is now way she doesn’t know about the importance of contracts. Not only that it absolute FUCKS OVER everyone in hell. And it’s just brushed off??? Like no?

The exterminations is a big deal to all sinners, no matter the rank. Even if no one else knows what she did, Charlie should be more effected by this. The contract thing should have happened mid season or at the end, with her becoming more frantic to prove that her idea work so she can save sinners. But instead its treated like an oopies and she does trust falls and bond activities as if that’s going to make anyone a better person. Them liking each other doesn’t redeem them of anything.

*episode 3…im talking about that…*

Its my favorite so far. I like Zestail, Carmillia, Velvette and that dino lady are my favorite characters. Genuinely surprised I haven’t heard more about Respectless because it is my favorite song. (But it did come out next of ep 4, so it make sense.)

I hope Carmillia’s daughters are adopted or where her kids in life cuz the idea that the sinners can have kids are stuck in hell like the imps is messed up.

I’m glad Velvette gets development in this episode. I was worried that she’d just be the woman (tm) character of the Vees and be pushed to the side, so I was happy to see her upfront so soon. She’s now my favorite of the three, sorry Vox. I also like that her hair style keeps changing, that’s a nice touch for the fashion oriented one of the Vees.

The hotel gang going to the bondage…idk what to call it..Club felt like a waste of time. It was there for a joke and that’s it. Then Vaggie takes them to a city war zone and throws Pen and Angel off the building while Husk sneaks away.

Admittedly Husk sneaking off was funny to me, but like why would Vaggie think this would make them trust each other. Angel has a mafia background and family. Best bet he’s had to get into a few fights with them, and if I’m remembering lore correctly, he hates most to all of his family but okay.

At this point I’m genuinely curious how this show is going to develop Charlie’s redemption plan, because everything we’ve shown them try has failed and been show to clearly leading to fail. I have a feeling that he show isn’t going to have an ending, its just going to end. Like, nothing regarding the redemption plot line had made a single step forward. There’s just one more of them not, that’s it.

The second song doesn’t feel earned from Vaggie’s side.

Conclusion: This one is the best so far. It being mostly away from the main cast is not a good sign but it’s only number 3.

(Episode 4: Masquerade)

*gestures to that hot fucking mess* I’m not touching most of it. If you’re reading this them you’ve probably seen better points than I can provide. So I’m just going working on the logic within the story.

Personally, I think the visuals are a little too much, and I can understand where it goes way to far for a lot of people. I’d like to note that while Helluva Boss has a working screen on every single episode this has jack shit which was a huge fuck up in my opinion. I don’t care what the shows rating is, adult content and sensitive content are two different things and need to be treated as such.

Any media that handles SA, SH or abuse needs a huge label like those FBI no pirating screens from back in the day. I am not joking.

*shit I toughed it moving back a bit*

Okay, so why did Charlie goes to Angel’s job KNOWING he was in the middle of working. Like she knows he makes porn. The episode starts with the hotel gang watching one and her being visible uncomfortable. Why would she go there? And not like, wait outside or something? (she was uncomfortable at the bondage place why wouldn’t that be any different here?)

Charlie not picking up how upset Angel was that she showed up to his job THE FIRST time is child levels of ignorance. Even without the seriousness of what was really happening, that was infuriating to watch. I get that she’s supposed to have rose tinted glasses but those things are opaque. By this point all of her ‘accomplishments’ have been fucking people over majorly. She is a hindrance to those around her and it is hard to watch.

*skirting around the trash fire a little bit more.*

( I’m not trying to make a joke about this but like, I don’t know how to express how fucking yikes this episode is. Like it’s such an uncomfortable topic and it’s fumbled so hard. And then for Viz to turn around and argue about it on twitter and shit, like come on.)

Husk and Angel arguing doesn’t make sense to me. Husk says doesn’t like Angel cuz he’s fake, ignoring that it’ coping, shouldn’t Husk’s reasoning that Angel makes him uncomfortable. He is clearly shown being bothered by Angel’s aggressive flirty and sex talk. Him being ‘fake’ comes out of nowhere. As does them fighting.

Three minutes in, Angel gets pissed at Husk dismissing his porno. Flirts with him when Husk reveals he knows about the other hotel gangs’ insecurities and secrets. Then gets pissy again when Husk does the same to him. If Angel is short with Husk this episode because of Val, then let that be that, but the back and forth is jarring.

Charlie being the one to go after Angel an comfort him would have been the one good thing she could have done in the show cuz to be honest she as done nothing but ruin things for everyone at this point.

The loser song happening IMMEDIATELY after Angel’s emotional moment is a gut punch. Like WTF. I could not imagine being on the production team, seeing this shit and not saying something. Like there’s not scene cut to Charlie writing those (pointless) letters, her talking to Vaggie about how she messed up, nothing.

Angel has his break down and Husk seconds later is singing about how shit sucks and he’s a loser. Without the context, that’s bad. With the context, it’s horrific.

Husk had/has a gambling addiction. Not to downplay that or invalidate anyone who has/is going through that but it is not the same as SA. Especially as Husk isn’t going through his problems right now while Angel had to go through it…what an hour before, two maybe. For a prolong period of time and has to go back to that.

Husk is talking about his problem in the past tense. Besides the Alastor thing, it’s behind him. Angel’s problem is in the present and future. And that’s not taking into account the guy at the bar who was going to drug him. Who Angel was going to let drug him.

I could not imagine being on the production team, seeing the script for this and not immediately being like, no. This show is making miss Helluva Boss I am not joking.

Positives: The song Poison is good. Just listen to the audio and nothing else and its great. Val’s coat being moth wings was neat to see (especially if you ignore everything that happiness before and after that one still shot). I like Valentino’s design. I’ve no people have a problem with his voice, but personally I don’t mind it.

Conclusion: I have mixed feeling on the aftermath of the episode. Acting like the problem is solved and not addressing it won’t treat the SA plot-line with the seriousness it deserves. On the other hand, I do not want to the show to touch anything like this again. If it just leaves it here, then at least its only the one episode instead of more.

Ignoring Viz’s response to criticism over this, the executives and people with money have likely seen this shit blow up, and if anything, might not be willing to let the show go near something like this again. Which, in my opinion, is the best option. I do not trust this show to do it well, so it might as well not do it at all.

I am going to keep watching, cuz, like Helluva Boss, I want to see how this turns out. I don’t have hope for the show, but I am curious.

Overall, I hope ep 4 will be a good example of what not to do for any media hoping to cover SA in one way or another.

If anyone want to talk with me about the show send me a message and tumblr mobile and social anxiety willing, I'll be able to get back to you.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #one of mine #2 cents

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yourlocalabstraction · 7 months

Note

your soul design is so yumilicious I need all the details now on my dinner plate

fr tho I want to know all the soul design lore how did you create such a creature /vpos

OKOKOHHHHHHOKOK BUCKLE IN. YOU’RE GONNA GET THE FULL DESIGN PROCESS

I struggled the most with Soul ngl. I couldn’t really think of anything I could add that would differentiate him from the fanon standard. I’m a lil upset I couldn’t think of something more original, but nonetheless he turned out quite lovely !!!

I started with the color picking. I was very insistent on making everyone’s colors proportional to eachother. The main colors should have (about) the same saturation/brightness, contrasting colors that are the exact opposite hue of the main color, respective black/grey/white values (soul’s ‘grey’ color is more teal bc color theory but yea), shit like that i guess. The final palette is on the right, it’s what I use today.

Soul never got fully fleshed out concept sheets like the other two. I guess my brain just filled in the rest of the gaps without having to draw them. (I apologize for never finishing these btw. It’s been months man. I hope the blorbo doodles in the corner make up for it) The second image was done a lot later than the first btw. Idk if that matters but I’m bringing it up anyway.

His fit inspo came mostly from Pinterest. I just compiled a bunch of shit I think he’d wear. Plus a majestic cape because it makes him look plenty more epic.

OK MOVING ON. I decided that his main gimmick would be my take on his shaded side. The idea was to make it represent dissonance, and how it affects Soul. The shadow is basically just this fuckin void. It has no physical form, and you can just stick your hand in there if you’d like (he sometimes stores the trident there). However I wouldn’t recommend it. The feeling is indescribable, but very uncomfortable. The void has a life of it’s own in a way. It does not stay confined within the Soul’s physical form (or in my case, his lineart). When conflict is at a high, like, tridential regicide level high, the void will get very close to fully overtaking him. It only fully disappears once true concord is reached, and starts reforming when the next cycle starts.

Also, the mask !!!!! Throughout cacophony, Soul is having a huge fucking identity crisis and shit. He doesn’t really have a physical organ like the other two. He doesn’t know why he’s here, or what he did to deserve this, or why nothing he’s trying works, and just. What is he if he’s failing at his main purpose???? I think because of this, he doesn’t like showing his face around the other two. He needs to assert is power, and thinks that showing his face will make him come of softer and less of someone to obey, if that makes sense. He only really takes it off when he’s alone in his room or pocket dimension (still trying to decide if they have a mock ‘apartment’, or ever did at one point). But once he has the character arc in Two Wuv, it permanently comes off !!! Wahoo!!!!!!! If only the next cycle weren’t to start, resetting his newfound self image to its previous state !!!!!!!!!!

Ok this is getting long im putting a read more thing

This image was very helpful for designing the tine shapes!! Guess which one is Soul’s !!!!!! (Spoiler alert, im pretty sure its either the 2nd or 6th ones in the 2nd row. However i genuinely dont remember. This may not even be the right image)

Soul also has a strange tie with eyes. If the halves have pissed him off to the point of no return, he does this fuckin analog horror stare that freaks the shit out of them (although heart cant see he remembers it very well. Plus, he just k n o w s that extra eye is there). I haven’t really played around with this, but I like the idea of a freakishly absurd amount of eyes hidden within the shadow. I should maybe like. Draw that sometime.

Also, expect a Soil patch update in the future!! I’d like to make his fangs more deranged, and maybe add an earth pattern to the cape. Right now, he has no symbols on him that represent him in the astronomy metaphor.

Uhhhh i hoped this helped??? If i missed anything you were hoping to know about, do let me know !!!!!!!

#i need a tag for posts like this #i shall call it #design lore #cj rambling #chonny jash #cccc #chonnys charming chaos compendium #taps asks #cj soul

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theblackinnkeeper · 2 months

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Sorry, only messaging on anon cause I can’t send an ask on the right account but, I mean I totally get what you’re saying about Komaeda as a whole but I think some things are being overlooked. For one, in regards to his actions in well, the whole story really, I have to present a question. Do we hold children accountable for their actions? Yes, to a point, but we also acknowledge that their brains aren't developed and there are certain processes that they are quite literally incapable of. The same can be said of Komaeda. His brain is literally deteriorating, which in a way could be akin to a child with an undeveloped brain, and the parts that get damaged first in most cases of FTD are all parts of the brain that have to do with moral judgement. specifically the ability to recognize something as morally right or wrong, ability to recognize whats socially appropriate, and ability to empathize (this is all just mostly the ventromedial cortex, so there are countless other symptoms that come into play but) as well as an increasing loss of self awareness. If he were just mentally ill, i would agree that his actions are definitely his fault and his own but in this case, it's much trickier. is a person whose brain is literally deteriorating someone we should consider a moral agent? is this someone in control of themselves enough to be accountable for their actions in full? i wouldn't say so.

but also another thing is that i personally love chiaki, and i have no issues with hinami but i also think its odd that you're anti komahina. like, i mean there are ships im less fond of or that i even think would be better/worse than others but i dont see why if its not the one you like most that you need to reject it entirely. the only times i think thats really necessary is in cases of shipping abusers with their victims or ships thats are problematic i.e. age difference. beyond that, isnt it just easier to idk man…. accept that you’re not gonna agree with every ship you see? Just an observation.

I hear and I get what you are trying to say but I think you fail to get a few things while yes his dementia influences his actions to some degree it’s also due to his obsession with and as nagito said he doesn’t mind killing or being killed if it’s for the sake of hope and while his dementia does affect his perception a bit it’s not enough considering he’s one of the most perceptive characters in the game considering he’s the one who usually has it all figured out so I don’t think the comparison to a child really works with a character like him and if he’s at least aware enough to have a distinct sense of right and wrong(regardless of how screwed up it is) I do think that is enough to be held accountable

If you want to know it’s mostly because I find the ship to be toxic and the fans to be annoying (Everytime I criticize nagito’s actions guess how many fans are in the inbox or comment section are there it’s a pain I tell you) and I was annoyed at all the dr3 Chiaki hate plus hinanami hate (seriously if someone gripes about how despair arc forgot komahina again I’m gonna scream)

So I sort of decided that i should return the favor now I understand that there are worse ships out of there but none of their fans have ever given me a reason to go after them (unlike most komahina fans)

And because nagito’s treatment of hajime in chapter 4 and 5 just bugs me

Because while nagito doesn’t act like fuyuhiko(pre chapter 2) or hiyoko during this time what makes it bugs me is who he’s saying it to

Hajime is someone very insecure about himself and struggles with his self worth due to his lack of talent and very much doesn’t like having his insecurities touched at

So to see someone who supposedly loves him call him worthless And make him out to be dead weight just bugs me

And unlike Souda or toko who both get off on this kind of treatment hajime doesn’t not enjoy it

So it just annoys and disturbs me

I hope my answer was worth your time

#danganronpa #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #chiaki nanami #anti komahina

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syrips · 4 months

Text

thinking about the poll/post (omg i found it!!) asking about if strahd would be a vampire ascendant and i decided to ramble about it along with other random things because dont mind if i do indulge!! hehe

shoutout to @/thecatslug for inspiring me to colorcode my rambles because oh my god i love colors. also sorry the color code might not make sense its just syrips color coded my brain likes it gfdgdfg

ravenloft / bg3 spoilers below:

so, im not sure if the question meant 'would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant' or if it meant 'could strahd become a vampire ascendant', so i decided ill try to answer this: would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant? sorry if this wasnt the original question i just wanted to ramble honestly

before we get into the fancy nitty gritty stuff, let's take a look at the details of four main things apparently i cant count heh, get it, count? anyways im not fixing that four sorry numbers are hard

Vellioth the Martinet

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

Cazador and Jander (what?)

Strahd

-----

Vellioth the Martinet

so, random fun theory that no one asked but i just wanna ramble it. did you know that 'vellus' means fleece or wool?

just gonna leave this here. unrelated to anything else btw i just wanna ramble it.

random wiki stuff:

"vellus / villus / veillier = fleece, shaggy tuft hair, wool villi = in france, to watch over martinet = wikipedia: 'in English, the term martinet usually refers not to the whip but to those who might use it: those who demand strict adherence to set rules and mete out punishment for failing to follow them.' vellus hair = 'peach fuzz'"

🩸✨💛 random theory no one asked for 💛✨🩸

vellioth has hair with:

color range: peach (fuzz) to wheat blonde

length: medium to long

type/shape/texture: curly to kinky; 'shaggy/woolly sheep' texture

anyways back to the actual stuff.

... hi.

so! the narrator/cazador describe Vellioth as 'ancient', or at least they call his skull ancient? which is very strange to me for two main reasons. Vellioth isn't old. and i know, 'but syrips, you say everyone isn't old because strahd's a big old dusty super elder!.' and yea. hehe youre right. but for now, just remember this - Vellioth was Baldur Gate's Master Vampire from 1204 DR to 1276 DR. this will be important in a moment, not even because of the age, but because what ill describe below.

-----

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

so. one thing that i see thrown around a bit, is that people may assume that the vampire list left by Lady Incognita is based on birth and death or other stuff, but! i will clarify it a bit:

the title of Master Vampire does not mean the previous one's destruction or death. it only means their defeat upon someone else taking the throne. sure, they may occur at the same time, but one can take over without killing the former.

the master vampire list is a self-proclaiming title, and one that others can attempt to contest

each city/point of interest has their own master vampires fighting in their own little territories. we only see those of baldur's gate. not of waterdeep. not of other towns or cities or locations. if you're feeling the vtm clan vibes/drama, then youre absolutely right! cazador penpalling another master vampire to brag about his master vampire status in baldur's gate is both him bragging and him potentially preparing to claim other places once he ascends

the master vampire title gives no actual vampiric, magical, or physical power. it's an entirely a social construct, in the most literal way possible. it provides social influence, social intimidation, etc. but, it's just like putting on a mundane tiara. grats, i guess.. its shiny at least-

anyways, this stuff is mostly put down just to say - nothing about this "Master Vampire" status is about ascension, power, and/or 'special abilities'. it's a moot point/status. which leads to why the master vampires need other ways to gain power.. which is why.. woah! cool transition to-

-----

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

if you got this far then thanks for reading. sit up and hydrate because it's time to talk about the black mass and why you need to be in tip top shape for reading this part. ahem:

the black mass scroll is not just one ritual, it is a collection of Vellioth's schooling, a list of rites/rituals, details of soul, divine (good, neutral, and evil) magic, and the methods of manipulation of the soul, divinity, and magic.

tl;dr - the black mass scroll is a list of lists. a collection of collections. the black mass scroll is.. an archive!

one could say it is massive. heh. anyways yea, the mass is a double meaning - a mass in the ritual sense, but also the meaning of 'a bunch of somethings.'

why is this important though? well. because this black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage or made more interesting', such as 'The Rite of Perfect Slaughter' and the 'Rite of Profane Ascension.'

so, let's talk about the Rite of Perfect Slaughter, which is actually fairly easy - Cazador killed Vellioth in the Rite of Perfect Slaughter. yet, Vellioth, who should be 'dead,' is recalling this. we should note, both of these people are undead. and undead death doesnt always work in the same way as complete removal/destruction. literally look at the other undead/'dead' in bg3 itself. look at those who 'died' in ravenloft. yet, some return, despite being 'killed' in the human perceived way.

either way, all we can confirm, based on this Rite of Perfect Slaughter, is that it removed Vellioth's authority/status as a Master Vampire. that is literally all the information we have right now. anything else is speculation, theory, or even deception by an undead or someone affiliated. which makes me wonder, who came up and formed that name, the "Rite of Perfect Slaughter"? cazador and vellioth both have a distorted view of what 'perfection' means, and we've seen cazador lie/hide information that will work against him. and also, Vellioth was laughing as cazador did the Rite on Vellioth. why didnt cazador and astarion laugh together when astarion performed the Rite of Ascension? because cazador didnt want the rite used on him. i guess the point of all of this is, who originally discovered or created the Rite of Perfect Slaughter? because, we dont know! for all we know, Vellioth couldve wanted to be 'killed' to give his soul to someone else, to preserve his vampirism/unlife or something. afterall, the black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage.' it doesnt say by who benefits from it. but anyways. the origin isnt really relevant for this, i just wanted to point out that these Rites are all a various and mixed collection of times, rituals, affiliations, and intentions - most that we dont even know fully, if at all of who benefits from it. and, considering we dont even know what some mean, or who made them, the original people who discovered them may not even be Cazador or Vellioth.

why? or how?

because, the line Astarion says when he picks up the Black Mass Scroll: "[Cazador] stole everything, even [Vellioth's] precious rules."

it doesnt matter who made the rites, rituals, weird strange description/stuff. all that matters is that Cazador has the entire bundle of stuff that is from previous vampires and creatures. and, the symbolism that Astarion picks it up and takes it, means the collection of potential power - of The Black Mass Scroll - Astarion is the current inheritor of potential power.

-----

Cazador and Jander (what?)

now, reader. you might be like. 'syrips, what does this have to do with if Strahd is considered a vampire ascendant? why is jander being brought in here?? im so confused, just answer the question about strahd!' well, too bad! you gotta wait! into the sealed tomb with leo dilisnya you go!

anyways! what we learned so far (as well as random rambling cuz why not):

cazador literally takes things that aren't his

cazador learned this from 'ancient' vellioth

Vellioth become a master vampire at 1204 DR of baldur's gate

Cazador became one at 1276 DR of baldur's gate

but! let's take a quick look and compare this to our beloved Jander Sunstar's lore:

they are incredibly weak when compared to an already existing Jander and strahd, as Anna has existed on the sword coast beginning around 970 DR

not only does time work differently in barovia, but in Toril / DR time, strahd already exists at this point as The Vampire. he is already the ruler of barovia, as well as the center of attention in the domains of dread

time isnt really important here, but its worth noting this because of Jander. not only did he kill his vampire master (which can be considered a 'vampiric ascension,' as you break the chains and limits of your master and are now free to grow in vampiric abilities), but he literally wielded an ancient and holy relic that vellioth and cazador could not even imagine to do.

and, not only did Jander do that, but he challenged the cause of vampirism and was brought by the mists into barovia. he was a candidate to challenge the master, founder, and origin of vampirism - strahd. Jander had the potential to ascend. to break free from the true master and curse, of The Vampire.

anyways, jander (and astarion) is a great reference character for vampire ability when comparing vellioth and cazador to jander/strahd.

but yea. tl;dr - jander makes vellioth and cazador look really pathetic. like baby levels pathetic. vampire ascension is about going 'backwards/upwards' on the vampiric bloodline tree, gaining your agency back so that you can climb up the ranks to more 'potent/ancient' generations. basically, it's about being free to go as far/deep as you can attempt. ascension is not about 'the removal of weaknesses', it's about 'the reduction of vampiric inferiority'. and, being unable to be in the sun is not of inferiority. they can go in the sun, but it will hurt. what one cannot do without suffering, teamwork, pacts, and/or luck, however, is breaking their seal on the master they're forced to be inferior to. even in the cazador fight, the only thing that saved astarion was literally the tadpole helping to reduce his inferiority with cazador. on a side note, vellioth laughing at cazador during the rite of perfect slaughter makes me believe that vellioth benefitted and only caused cazador to descend deeper, instead of ascend.

anyways. back to cazador. the only way that he can reduce the vampiric inferiority (as well as ascend himself) is for him to confront more and more ancient vampires, you know. like what jander attempted. but, cazador doesnt want to do that. instead, he works with an archdevil to attempt a cheap temporary bandaid/loophole around the wrong problem. instead of focusing on his own inferiority complex heh pun intended, he focuses on how to get a tan and how to be less thirsty..? like. what? either he has no idea what hes doing, or he believes removing all weaknesses and flaws will make him a more perfect vampire. what a silly head.

anyways. the rite of 'ascension.'

yea, let's go into that!

what is the Rite of Ascension??

here you go, reader!

---

🎇🩸🏹 The Rite of Profane Ascension 🏹🩸🎇

Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead!

syrips translator: oh pathetic hungry un/dead people!

Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler.

syrips translator: you can't be out in the (sun)light, and your hunger imprisons you because youre in denial of how to manage your vampirism.

The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined.

syrips translator: with just 7 payments of 999.99 souls, you too can remove the ailments of sun allergies and midnight cravings! call now to receive your 'ascension' kit!

A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power.

syrips translator: -fast disclaimer speak- your sun and anti-hunger status is not actually included or garaunteed. you are agreeing to the terms and conditions that you are only receiving the kit to build and perform the sun and anti-hunger ritual. 'free of your chains' is only used to describe the 'chains of darkness and hunger' and nothing else. purchase not necessary to be 'ascended.' call now and begin your journey!!

Deliver the souls.

syrips translator: i really dont care who gives me the souls. just gimmy. thanks

Speak the words.

syrips translator: okay the actual pact is below. everything else was just to hype you up and was just the advertisement, hehe! anyways. anyone who says the ritual below with the right components is all i care about. because the stuff below is the actual trade. and no, you didnt get scammed. this isn't a vampire ascension, it's just an advertisement targetted towards a vampiric audience. you read the terms and conditions correctly, right? silly guy.

Ecce dominus,

syrips translator: "(google translate) Behold, the Lord" / 'uhh hi -opens trade window-'

Has animas offero in sacrificio,

syrips translator: "(google translate) I offer these souls in sacrifice," / -puts 7k stack of souls in trade window- 'here's the actual trade that you wanted -presses confirm trade-'

Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.

syrips translator: "(google translate) Now I want the power you promised me." / -presses accept- so this trade goes against the ToS but.. youll give me the power i asked for, right?... oh thank god i was so afraid. illegal ingame-to-irl-currency trades are so scary.. thank god, or thank meph in this case haha get it- oh okay im leaving.. s-sorry.. thanks..-

-----

Strahd

wooo hooo! we made it back to the original question!! we did it!!

now, lettuce answer this question that we we've been waiting on for so long. i dont want to leaf you hanging.

would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant?

big drum roll! bhrrrbhrbrhbhrr!!

-cough-

no.

...

-leaves-

-returns-

okay so. why isnt strahd considered a vampy ascendant?

well, before we talk about that. let's consider what a 'vampire ascendant' is considered, by Vellioth, Cazador, and the Rite of Profane Ascension's terms:

an 'ascended vampire' is just one who has the ailments of sunlight and hunger removed by the process of this specific ritual. remember that line i said of a Master Vampire being a moot point? well.. to burst the blood bubble, the "Ascended Vampire" line isnt a literal 'vampire ascension'. it's also a moot point, in its own way. but not as mooty, it's more of like a half-truth. like something an archdevil would do to tempt someone into doing something for a small dose of infernal - not raw vampiric - power in return. take note that nowhere in the actual ritual lines does it talk about ascension, let alone vampiric ascension. all it talks about is to say the words 'you made a promise.. i hope you keep it..pls gimmy Infernal powers..'

you know how raphael is making a deal with you and how off it feels? that's because youre not ascending when he mutes your tadpole. he's just using his abilities to manipulate/mold something in you with his powers. that's how this ritual also is. it's just a half-truth, unempathetic advertisement, masked as a pact so that the one who does it feels satisfied, despite the archdevil just receiving much more power than the one who sacrificed all the souls.

but, let's say this ritual is legitimate, and one does 'ascend' by the archdevil's abilities to remove the ailments. so, they are technically 'rising,' in a way. they are becoming a 'stronger infernal-gifted vampire' because of less weaknesses. but, what are they trying to ascend to? what is the purpose of removing all of these weaknesses? why go through all of this?

because. they hunger. they want power. they want true immortality. they want to remove all weaknesses in mortal life and immortal unlife to have free agency, without inferiority to anything. they want to be able to transcend time, space, and death, to be on a level of the highest peak of vampirism.

and, of course. who would that be? who would be the most ancient, powerful vampire, cursed and imprisoned by their own success in achieving what other vampires can only dream of?

who was imprisoned not from failure, but from succeeding too well that something else had to intervene?

anyways, as much as i love stroking strahd's ego LOl i keep going tho, his novel-canon potential is severely higher than the CoS potential. but, through all the modules, novels, and other media, it's still heavily implied that strahd's major weakness is tatyana. if he had tatyana, or felt he was losing the chance to pursue her, if he lost this weakness, he would unironically be scarily unstoppable. the only thing stopping strahd from being a huge dictator or even more power-hungry tyrant is literally because of his obsession/'curse' with wanting to have a bae. which i find very hilarious but focus syrips that part isnt the point-

anyways. tl;dr - strahd has nothing to ascend to. he has no vampire that he's inferior to. if anything, he wants to descend. he wants to be 'less' of what he is now, to be with tatyana. or, to ascend tatyana to his vampiric level. it's his entire curse. and, because of this, he also cannot descend. if he does, he will either lose himself, or he will lose tatyana. and he will not dare to risk that.

he also has nothing that he has or can ascend from. he is the 'original'. at most, he just ascended from 'himself.' but, that's not really an ascension more than just a transition. (and, moving from the material plane to the domains of dread kind of shows that he's not really ascending/rising, more than he's just moving into a warped/slanted plane that operates differently in time and space.) and, unlike in the Rite of Profane Ascension, strahd used himself (and everything affiliated to him) as both the component and result, because no other method existed. he is the origin and reason that rites/methods to 'becoming a more powerful vampire' even exist. he's the reason that vampires exist. when strahd says he's the ancient and land, he's not just saying it for the cool monologue phrase even though we all know he totally enjoys saying it everytime. he's also bluntly saying, 'i am the ancient because i, with barovia, transcend time. i am the land because i, with barovia, connect with the domains of dread. and, the domains of dread, connects with all planes. i am beyond 'a vampire.' i, strahd, am the concept and definition of the vampire.'

everything that all vampires do, by definition, are mock versions, mock attempts, and mock methods that strahd has already mastered, influenced others to do, or that he has knowledge/creation of. everything all vampires do, is attempting to do what their masters had done. with every new spawn, they start at the bottom, trying to climb to their master's level. and even more rarely, attempting to climb to their master's master's level. but strahd is at the top of the MLM vampire pyramid. he has no master to climb up the ranks to. he's already the CEO, founder, etc. (idk how business works), he can't out-climb himself. -strahd pompous voice- 'ouhhh.. it's so lonely being at the top, ouhhh..' but anyways, he can ascend or assist others, since he's a patron. but most power-hungry vampires wouldnt want to do that, especially because they're probably trying to climb up just to compete or be on strahd's vampiric level. and yet, asking strahd for ascension is incredibly easy - all it would mean is making an eternal pact to always be subservient and inferior to strahd.. he'd gladly ascend you, you'd have the potential to be superior to all other vampires.. the only one above you would be personally him. and.. suddenly, a deal with an archdevil who doesnt care about the pettiness of vampire superiority, kind of sounds safer in comparison now..-

or idk. i could be wrong. just a ramble i had fun doing. hehe ty for reading

references/sauces:

bg3

bg3 wiki

wikipedia

wiktionary

google translate

ravenloft novels/modules/games/media/editions from like everywhere

#curse of strahd spoilers #bg3 spoilers #random syrips theory #ravenloft spoilers #strahd von zarovich #sorry strahd i hate tagging u but i wanna organize it- gfdljhgf

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quesadillayuri · 1 month

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This is an open invitation to "talk about the Bible in a chill way". I'd be fascinated in your chill Bible opinions.

okay this is lowkey such a late answer to this but recent chill bible opinion has some context to it. i'm religious but in like a weird way i don't super want to get into, but basically i read the bible for the story aspects: the morals taught, the themes within, etc etc. i don't really view it as a strict religious instruction handbook, more so as like . stories meant to teach lessons and morals. kinda. its complicated!

erm. im so glad u asked tho

anyway! more importantly, i'm reading the old testament right now, and something that deeply bothers me is that i find the stories in early genesis deeply fascinating, and yet incredibly not dived into at all! and i think that's a shame, because there's so much interest and tragedy in the story of adam and eve, and in cain and abel, together and alongside adam and eve. i just think there could've been so much more done with the first ever family on earth, that is really never dived into popularly or well in adaptations. which is like chill EXCEPT for the fact that i think there's a lot of . persephone and hades tumblr bullshit going on and let me ELABORATE!

eve is a fascinating character to study as the first woman, and there's a lot to be said about eve, which is why a lot of modern looks at her that depict her as a #slay girlboss that ate the apple on purpose or as like . cheating on adam with lucifer . and i also don't fuck with the very long history of her being treated as though she's stupid or wicked or a transgressor. basically, what i'm trying to get at is that eve wasn't stupid for eating the apple, she was lied to, and in her defense, no one had ever lied before. quite literally she was the first to ever be lied to, ever, and she cannot be solely at fault for being tricked. i think it's hard to argue that eve shouldn't have fallen for it, because she was in such an incredibly unique, quite literally never happening before situation. i just think that depictions of her as a scheming seductress will never be as feminist as people think they are, because the core of eve was not someone looking to like . stick it to the man . she was curious, and trusting, and i refuse to blame her for searching for something new, because if god did not want man or woman to long for knowledge, he never should have create sapient beings 🤷

that was a long, kinda rambly way to say that i think genesis, despite being a really interesting book especially pertaining to eve, adam, and the fall, and especially relating to what could be said about abel and cain, and abel, cain, and THEIR PARENTS!!!, fails in a lot of ways as a book. mostly because of the lack of expansion on any of the interesting parts of the early story. i dont gaf abt how adam lived for 930 years. i gaf about adam and the horror of raising children and loving them and that still not being enough to save them from each other or themselves. it must have been horrifying to see your children, both your first children and the first children ever born, suffer and die, one at the hand of another and one at the hand of your own father. like idk eve adam and the horrifying fact that their sin (mistakes) passed along to their child and could've played a role in his own sin (devastating mistakes) and what you do as a parent when you realize that loving someone isn't enough to raise them perfectly and keep them safe.

but yeah sure . adams a weirdo misogynist and eve is a girlboss that cucks him with lucifer and abel and cain don't matter or exist. okay. epic.

and like this isn't to shit on fun or serious retellings based in feminism, bc i #love feminism fr, but i think it tired me out in the same way that (look at me circling back) things like the feminist retellings of hades and persephone did. bc like, it's interesting sometimes, but other times you are IGNORING the reality and interesting parts of the real story in favor for whatever fantasy you've created. hades and persephone is a fascinating story, and demeter and persephone's relationship is a tragic, lovely story that should not be boiled down into omg age gap forbidden romance with EVIL strict mom in the same way that eve and adam shouldnt be simplified to adam is mean to eve and she eats apple as REVENGE >:) . like ok guys lets get creative!

anyway to make a long story short im not an expert on the bible im just a girl raised spiritualist who fucks with books hardcore and wouldve liked to see more interesting shit in the oldest fucking book i own . or whatever .

#if ur a theologist dont @ me #its 12 am EXACTLY and im just a teenage girl #im yapping okay #.hellwurld #.asks #uh #ask to tag???#idk if catholicism or the bible is a trigger lmk

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kissingrhi · 6 months

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pls send me traits and things about u and i’ll give a succession character i think would be the most into u and why (and maybe some cutesie headcanons) i’m bored

Im bored too so😭:

- I’m 24

- Latina

- Law student

- Love Taylor swift and Shakira

- I practice pole dancing (don’t know if it’s relevant but hey)

- Aquarius sun, scorpio rising

- Ppl perceive me as rly quiet and mysterious at the beginning but goofy once they get to know me

i think your best match would be....

kenny baby!!!!!!!!!!

we all know that kendall is much more artistically inclined than the rest of the sibs (L to the OG, his 40th birthday party, the play, etc etc)

which is why i think he'd be absolutely enamored with the sight of someone pole dancing

i think he'd hold a much deeper appreciation for the art of it than someone like roman

i also feel like he's drawn to people he can unravel/peel layers back from, like you, and i'd say he's got a hard exterior as well.

it's just much harder to get to his soft core

you guys definitely would meet at a party, most likely with you dancing your sweet tail off and him falling head over heels instantly

like, stuttering mess as soon as you guys meet sort of attraction

i think he's much more drawn to someone he considers a challenge. he loves being kept on his toes

so, a pole dancing law student? that's mysterious? right up his alley.

he'd try so hard to be smooth

"i- uhh, noticed your dancing." in that monotone ass voice

and from that point forward he's entranced by you, trying to keep up (often times failing)

the more he gets to know you, the more he falls in love with you

kendall overtly craves comfort. it's seen in vague ways throughout the show, but i think the best peek into how he'd be in a healthy (!!!) relationship is in the last episode (meal fit for a king)

all the goofy giggling and crinkle-eyed smiling. yeah.

especially because you're funny. i think he's soft for that.

so i think that when kendall is with someone who isn't so uptight, but can be when it's necessary, he fits in perfectly

he can keep you grounded, but you can also encourage him to loosen up

shamelessly bothering him when he's overworking himself with paperwork

"hey can you stop working for like five seconds?" "i don't know, can you fuck off?" "shut up, you love me." "......yeah."

also, the fact that you're a law student??

you're insanely hardworking, just like him, which both balances you out and fucks you two over.

being delirious with each other in bed while up late doing work, eyes bloodshot and running off of energy drinks type of fucked over

but it's okay because you have each other. even if you definitely have to coddle each other from time to time (mostly you coddling him oops)

1000% will ask you to pole dance for him privately

mans a freak! sorry!

you also give him the creative freedom to delve into his interests, which he is a slut for

kendall will go wild for some validation! don't play!

overall, i think it would just take a while to break down his shell, but once you do.... oh he's absolutely hypnotized by you and does not want to let you go

#succession x reader #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy #character matchup #tehhehehe #bored #this is kinda shit #idc!

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sidesteppostinghours · 2 months

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Rolling in 10 hrs late but— 27, 28 Caine, 17, 34 for Cecilia? And B for all ur Steps, if you don’t mind :)

morning! thank you for the ask :D

27. What causes them to feel dread?

the fun thing about caine is that hes got really good instincts. its only heightened with hark (over 30 precog im p sure?) since hark encouraged him to listen to their gut. so if somethings about to go wrong, yeah, the dread is kicking in and theyre nope-ing the fuck out of there (the only exception to this is the casino scene). but there can also be false alarms if he disassociates hard enough, which is becoming more frequent lately. their paranoia+growing insomnia just adds to all of it. basically they just feel dread half the time,,, but also a more tangible thing that causes them to feel dread would probably be ortegas mind. if theyre in the wrong headspace, ortega brings back too many bad memories for them to feel safe.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

hmmm,,,, im not sure! it really depends on why the other person is lying about it ig, and how severe/urgent the unpleasant truth is. by default he tends to prefer the truth, but its mostly for informations sake. for example, with argent, they Really wouldve preferred not knowing what she was capable of. now that the cats out of the bag hes even more paranoid, especially since they have no information on her to use to protect himself. meanwhile, with the autopsy pics, they appreciated chen telling them what happened because it gave them a better idea of what happened while they were gone, and in their eyes chen had no obligation to tell them (plus they got some free bonus info about the kind of contacts chen has which is really useful too). basically, if he thinks he needs it to do things better or more efficiently, hell be ticked off about somebody withholding the truth from him, and vice versca if he thinks the lie would be more beneficial to him instead. either way though, theyre good at keeping their emotions in check, so hed be fine getting the unpleasant truth either way.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

nope! not at all. i mean, if she hyped herself up and managed to fail spectacularly, then yeah, i could see her getting majorly embarrassed. but thats p much one of the few situations i could imagine her feeling like that. ceci isnt known for shame– shes extremely blunt, to the point of being insensitive, and shes willing to do a lot for a quick kick. except,,,,,hmmmm,, argent making a comment or stealing a quick kiss when she didnt expect it and managing to fluster her,,,,,, please hold while i experience the visionsTM.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

oof. i think prehb the guilt of what she left behind was definitely there, but it got buried under the satisfaction of being free and having fun for once. nowadays, she still lives by those principles, that no matter what happened at least shes here now, but this time around theres an added layer of her actively trying to forget. if she does something she genuinely regrets, its still getting buried, but itll just claw right back to her in inopportune moments. most of the time though, guilt is getting tossed right back out the window so it doesnt disturb her happy fun loving times. no, ortega, no, finch, she is NOT repressing, she is simply being #goofysilly and will not stand for regret ruining her vibe.

B) What inspired you to create them?

speaking for my general process with all my steps: im rather predictable when creating characters. lots of them follow the same molds, they just tackle different storylines, and the differing plots are what makes them all different characters. so when making my steps, i ended up using those same character archetypes and taking them to their logical conclusions based on what choices the game offered. it makes it easier for me to imagine how they react, and its fun to tack on a slightly different trait to the mold and see what happens. ultimately, they all fall somewhere on the extreme ends of the "good/evil" spectrum, but with an added bit of ✨spice✨ from the other end to get them going into fully fledged characters. these are my inspiration/archetype for each individual step:

Caine- being an imported character for the exile if, i already had his character in mind when making him! in exile, they were very much meant to be the stoic leader character that was just beginning to doubt what he fought for. the problem when i tried to put them in fhr was. chen. chen i love you but holy shit it was so hard to make him unique and interesting when you were literally RIGHT THERE covering all the bases they were supposed to cover. and chen has a dog which made him obviously superior. it was annoying, but my frustration with their similarities pushed me to put a lot of love into them and well. look at where my son is now lmfao.

Cyrus- @ that one person who made that post about herald subverting the cinnamon role stereotype: thank you. i owe you my and my bastard sons life. cyrus was just meant to be a step i used to explore heralds ro route, so i didnt mean to take him too seriously. because of that, and because this was directly after caine and i was getting frustrated figuring them out, i kinda just went with the flow– he was originally a character closer to the "flirty and funny but actually competent and surprisingly apathetic" type. he used to have like. 50% ruthlessness lmfaoooo. a lot of his major character beats were caused by me making mistakes and figuring things out by clicking random choices out of curiosity. after i played him once, the higher ruthlessness route i went intrigued me, and i started tweaking him further, which is how we got here.

Cecilia- i! wanted! to! have! someone! fun! i wanted to have someone fun. i just wanted to have a step who would dick around and do stupid shit because they wanted to. she was my third step, both caine and cyrus were so serious, i needed somebody to juxtapose that. she was very much the "fuck around and find out" character. i created her to explore the lupin route, which seemed appropriate for the sort of character i wanted her to be. i also wanted to romance argent. it all just sort of culminated in a whirlwind of the most out there, daring step i had. it was only later i considered adding some more serious edges to her story, she was a bit like stress relief lol.

Cynthia- i created her with ortegas ro route in mind! even though caine was technically an ortega ro step, he was secretcrush so they couldnt really do much lmfao, so i was itching to play somebody whod actually pursue her. i chose the "calm, kind, do not burn down the house please and thank you" character for her since it seemed like fun to try with ortegas more out-there energy. i also had her as an anarchist, which i thought would be interesting to see play out since she was definitely on the more heroic end of the spectrum and i wanted to see how she would tackle one of the more destructive job choices. unfortunately, the kinder characters are almost always the hardest for me to work with, so it did take cynthia a while to find her footing. now, though, i think shes come together nicely! very much a balance of the nicer character i wanted for her originally while having that small kernel of "i can fuck things up if i wanted to" that i find more fun.

questions from here!

#i guess i DID end up answering those questions for caine #cecilia in particular is funny to me because like. yes my beautiful girl. go destroy your life for an adrenaline rush.#that is the normal way to respond to a lack of simulation. godspeed #i had to refrain from listing off other ocs i had that fit those specific archetypes whdjsjsjdjs #i have lots of beloved children ok. i need to figure them all out at a reasonable interval Somehow #that said. rip my other five steps #id say ill get to you someday but honestly. probably not lmfaooo #btw fun fact. the caine-cyrus-cecilia-cynthia order i always answer questions for them in is the order they were created in #caine lynzal #cyrus becker #cecilia rider #cynthia garcia #sidestep #fhr #pulp answers #ask game

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night--heart · 1 year

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just finished reading sky and here are som of my thoughts <3 probably a lot so . yeah . spoilers for sky obviously

am i the only one who finds frostpaw and splashtail's relationship weird. because is splashtail not, like, a grown man. a full warrior. and is frostpaw not, like, what, 7 moons old? 8 at the latest? of course they arent mates but am i the only one who finds that weird because i feel like im the only person talking about it. hell i even saw one person say they thought it was cute. maybe its just me

also frostpaw's whole thing at the moonpool when she's trying to reach starclan and being liek "maybe i should be a warrior apprentice instead. that way i can become mates with splashtail and i can be happy with him and we can become mates and have kits together and ill name one of them after my mother" and i just...... eughh...? i mean i think it'd be so much more gross if splashtail was the one talking about being mates with frostpaw, a child, and sure it could just be written off as a silly kid crush where she isn't actually being serious about it but... y'know... the erins are weird like that...

also. not a big fan of how sunbeam was written because it feel like for the whole book she's just being such a lil bitch to lightleap and lightleap is being nothing but nice to her. rowankit DIES and sunbeam is like "oh well at least blazefire, an adult who has much higher chances of surviving greencough (or whitecough, whichever one it was) than a kit, survived". and then not comforting lightleap and like SEETHING when she even so much as SEES blazefire and lightleap... sitting next to each other???? it could just be that i havent read river in a while but genuinely i dont get why she's so sour towards lightleap and blazefire all of a sudden. i get lightleap was reckless, injuring both sunbeam and blazefire and even confining blazefire to the medicine den for some time, but... as far as i remember, that was it??? idk man.

also the... the whole... "clan-swapping" and "clan-swapper" thing. im sorry but berryheart's whole posse of people against "inter-clan relationships" (which is what they call it in the book) really just. uhh. doesnt sit well with me? all of them saying that fringewhisker of skyclan brought greencough to their camp and them saying that "clan-swapping" should have never been allowed since fringewhisker bringing the sickness to shadowclan led to rowankit's death genuinely reads to me like they're the kind of people to think that people from china brought covid-19 to the u.s.

also also i.... really don't like nightheart that much in this book. im sorry i think he was great in the previous book though a bit, yknow, angsty, but i feel like in this book it must have been written by a different author because he's nothing BUT angst now. sure in the last book he was edgy but that could totally be seen as him being edgy because, y'know, he had a reason to be edgy. and angsty and upset. he failed his warrior assessment 3 times. of COURSE you'd be embarrassed and upset and angsty about it all. but idk, in sky it just seems like he's angsty about. really nothing besides "oh my grandma squirrelflight is making me do APPRENTICE DUTIES because theres NO APPRENTICES IN THUNDERCLAN RIGHT NOW. i guess ill just be STUCK DOING APPRENTICE DUTIES for the REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!" n its like dude....... chiiiiiill.....

frostpaw though is probably my favorite character so far but i don't know, something was just off about how she was written. somethnig was just OFF about this book in general, it very much seemed like it was written by someone who wasnt familiar with the characters of the previous book and accentuated their personalities to the point where they're all just one-note now. nightheart is angsty. sunbeam is selfish. frostpaw is............i dont really know acutlaly SJDKKJG but. i do like frostpaw's pov the best but mostly because i just really want to see what happens. little baby frostpaw, as far as we know, doesn't have a connection to starclan and riverclan is just in SHAMBLES becauyse of it. but i just love that. i hate the whole "we can't tell any clan about this" thing though, but ig that just comes from a pacing standpoint. i never liked it in media in general when something happens n characters are like "we cant tell anyone about this or else we'll be seen as weak" or something.

though the confrontation at the gathering between the leaders (mostly tigerstar n leafstar) and owlnose is really funny SKJDKJJKG i like it when tigerstar is like "....so reedwhisker became leader and then got sick and all of his lives were just taken away like that? he got greencough so bad it killed all 9 of his lives?" and owlnose is liek "it was REALLY bad-" idk thats just funny. this book does have a few funny things in it . i laughed a coupl times JKSDLKJJKG...

but uhhhhhhhhhh overall i think this book was. uh. interesting, to say the least. looking forward to the next book though :]

#asc sky #asc spoilers #asc sky spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #warrior cats sky #warrior cats

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cyeayt · 5 months

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If you’re reading a post describing a problem (this post focuses on fandom but I think some of it should be applicable irl) and you relate to the behavior or belief being criticized, that does not make you a bad person or inherently wrong. However, your response is important.

You probably need to process it, see how and why it applies to you, and if necessary, take steps to change it.

Examine the thesis of the post. What is the thing op is actually talking about? Does it really apply to you? Do you understand why op is calling the thing harmful? Do you agree? (For me these have mostly been yes, but who knows maybe you’ve found someone you want to block. Note: if you do end up deciding that the post is wrong, make sure it’s for reasons other than your discomfort. Curate your spaces but learn to take criticism.)

Dig into your mind. How does this apply to you? How often and in what circumstances do you do the thing? Why? Is your doing of the thing actively harmful? (Probably not on a huge scale, we’re all just people with phones, but you are part of collective movements opinions and actions.)

This is the most uncomfortable part. If you find yourself to be a perpetrator of something you’ve deemed harmful, don’t freak out. You are human, you are imperfect, and you can change and grow.

After identifying why and where the behavior happens, think about what you can do to break or reduce it. This might be hard. It’s okay and probably good if you have to put direct effort into it. Your brain is a ball of squirming meaty worms, and being aware that they’re squirming in a shape you don’t like won’t stop them from squirming there. Habit forming advice might be helpful here.

For example, this post is mostly talking about the tendency in fandom to focus on male characters. I’m guilty of this, and I’m working on it. Some things I’ve done/doing are: identifying women characters I already like and putting time into talking/drawing/writing/posting about them. Making effort to notice women characters in media im consuming. Figuring out why I don’t like certain women characters and deconstructing the stereotypes and mischaracterizations I often find there. Making women ocs with traits I tend to like in male characters.

These are just things that have worked for me in that area, but the energy and point can be translated into other problems as well. This is the longest step. It’s not even really a step, more of a habit to be formed. There isn’t a point where you’ll complete something and be able to go: wow, I’ve got it!

You’re also not alone. Depending on the subject, there might be books, posts, podcasts, zines, etc to help you. You can make posts yourself about it, talk to your mutuals and friends. Discuss it with people irl, if you can.

(Note, this is where it slips into minority “it’s not our job to educate you” territory. I agree with this sentiment. But oftentimes if you do a little digging, you will find someone who wants to and is making an effort to. I see this mostly in the context of white supremacy, the unlearning of which is a difficult and uncomfortable journey. Basically, don’t expect people to cater to you, but also chances are someone’s already written a book about it.)

I don’t have a conclusion to this post. It’s kinda rambly and the organization was dropped in favor of smaller more readable paragraphs.

Disclaimer! I am just some guy(?)! I don’t have that much experience! If this comes off as pretentious I’m sorry I’m just trying to be nice and understanding. I have and will engage in problematic behaviors in the past future, and right now probably, because its impossible not to. Chasing standards of moral perfection will always fail because it doesn’t exist and people are beautiful horrible messes and we all live under capitalism anyway. This doesn’t mean you can’t try to be better, but if you try to be perfect you’re going to have a nervous breakdown. Improvement is constant and eternal work!

I am personally also just naturally very self aware and good at identifying what’s going on in my brain. If you asked me how to deconstruct an assumption I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I would probably do an allegory with a big nasty knotted ball of string that hangs in your attic, and you just start poking the handle of a broom up into it at a frequency that is up to you. Once or twice a week I take a second to run through my misogynistic hall of mirrors and widen the cracks in a few of them and stick post it notes of women I love all over the place.

Also have fun and do whatever you want.

Did you know there’s a limit to the number of tags you can put on a post? I didn’t!

https://mashable.com/article/how-to-be-antiracist <- fun read, very important and topical, but also exploring ideas that can be extrapolated to other areas and biases

#can you tell that the idea of releasing this post into the wild is making me shake like a tiny feild mouse #I’ve never posted with this much implied authority behind my words before I just thought confidence would be key to the message #fandom #discourse #fandom discourse #weh #misogyny #racism #fatphobia #ableism #all the isms #neurodiversity #just cause I think I’ve tried to make this inclusive #homophobia #sometimes you run into something and go #how could I be holding stereotypical views of [identity]#I am identity?#this happened to me for a bit and the answer is well it’s still possible and you should still deal with it #okay #actual content of post over! time for my rant #so basically my mom is a toeing the line radfem who would have gone down the terf pipeline if I hadn’t come out when I did #which I’m grateful she didn’t go fully but whatever #and I think that in my efforts to distance myself from her beliefs I kinda distanced myself from feminism in general #and also let myself think that anything she said about it was inherently wrong #which put me into like a place with feminism that was kinda equivalent to where people who call themselves color blind are with racism #and like #my moms still wrong about a lot of stuff but I can’t not care about women but because she’s incapable of seeing things through other lenses #also internal processes that happened to my relationship to femininity when I transitioned #whatever #reminder to myself to get and complete the anti racist workbook I know of

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mangoisms · 10 months

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OKAY here they are... my thoughts on atsv. more thoughts i mean. in numerical order for. no reason in particular. as usual spoilers for the movie!!! ok here we go under the cut because this got REALLY long LMAOOOOO

1. miles never realizing why gwen was on earth 1610 and it never really being addressed. or rather - he let it slip past him until it really mattered. not blaming her (mostly) just. something i noticed, especially since they never discussed why she was there and also never really discussed the implication of her being there to monitor spot. idk my thoughts on That are not particularly articulate but There Is Something There. For Me.

2. ok once again about inspector singh. except this time about the implications of gwen being alerted about an 'incoming canon event.' like first of all that gwen had to Be Okay (or perhaps resigned?) with knowing that pavitr would suffer because of that and still holding back. not her fault because i can absolutely see how jess and miguel would take advantage of her in a vulnerable moment (like when her own dad pointed a gun at her and was willing to actually arrest her) and guilt her into thinking it’s Okay. especially because it’s for a friend. and on that thought. what about pavitr?? did he know??? did they tell him?? because if he was part of it… shouldn’t he know??? like if that's their Whole Thing. maintaining canon, patching up alleged holes in the universe... you know what i mean?

3. when miguel is trying to make his case for miles to let his dad die and he points to what happened in pavitr’s dimension. quantum collapse i think they called it? it brings me back to the thing of like. correlation ≠ causation???? Because presumably the only universe/dimension to collapse was miguel’s when he. you know. Replaced A Dead Man. and then it didn’t happen again. or that's what i assume. and i know the next question there is, well, then how could he get everyone onboard with this canon stuff? i think the collapse of miguel's universe in tandem with them realizing that their lives (the spiders' lives i mean) inextricably intertwine and repeat, so to speak, helped make the case of 'canon' being so important.

but my whole point about That is... how do they really know that pavitr’s dimension is going to unravel because of what miles did by saving inspector singh and not just because of what spot did? becuase they said he was dimension-hopping to places with alchemax/particle colliders but we never really see what happens to the other particle colliders that spot uses but presumably (it would benefit my theory so i’m biased) he just used them as go-points to gain spots and to keep moving? and then here, he levels up so to speak, right? which is why it exploded? and THAT’S why the dimension is unraveling? ALL IM SAYING IS. they don’t actually know. i think.

4. not a lot going on here but i continue to be astonished at how all of it comes back to these adults seemingly failing these kids. jess (and miguel i guess) were looking out for gwen and were in fact reluctant to take her on but at the first sign of a mistake, they're turning on her! or rather, unable to stop themselves from throwing her mistake into her face. you know??? and dgmw she made a mistake but i also think they maybe could've. uh. counseled her on everything going on with her dad instead of. doing all that. because it was ultimately going to culminate in her going to see miles. but of course we need it for the sake of the story but i still think their treatment of her is just so harsh and i know!!! she made mistakes!!!! i was definitely annoyed with her!!! but like. you know??

and then miles too. like. i talked about it before but it's just so bleak. how miguel has genuinely convinced all these people that the tragedies that seemingly mark a spiders' life are unavoidable and that even with foreknowledge of it, should still happen. and that miles has to stand to the side and just. let it happen. moreover the way miguel like genuinely blames miles for what happened and how he became the anomaly and thus, the reason his dad is going to die, like it really really really feels like there was a whole lot of resentment on miguel's side, probably combining that with the fact that miles does not want to listen to him and will not listen to him. but then peter b too! miles expects him to back him up, expects gwen to back him up, but they don't and he's left all alone. not to mention his repeated insistences against them belittling him as a kid - which he is but it's obviously used against him. like oh he's just a kid. he doesn't know better. of course he's wrong for pointing out the obvious flaws in miguel's thought process - literal algorithm - on 'canon' and the spider-verse, he's just a kid. and no he isn't entirely justified in wanting to save his dad, like it's some childish ideal, right, because the canon is what matters the most. when in all actuality!!!!! that's his dad.

(i said not a lot going on here and i lied. sorry LMAO)

5. also during the train scene when miles first glitches after his day pass comes off (the first or second time? one of the times), he glitches to his 14 y/o self when he was wearing the spider costume he got from the store ☹️

6. ALSO. their strength. it's always interesting in comics, particularly the spiders, i think, that their strength fluctuates, so one day they might be able to hold up an entire building and the next, they're getting beat up by like. Some Guy. and yeah you can say it's adrenaline but i also just think it's like, comic mechanics? which is Fine. this isn't a complaint but i kinda feel we see it in atsv? like we had gwen, miguel, and jess’ combined strength to stop the helicopter in the beginning and they were visibly straining. maybe that was just because of how fast the helicopter was coming down but still, when you compare it to later on, when you have just gwen and hobie more or less holding up an entire chunk of the alchemax building.... it's interesting. and i mean, yeah, they weren't able to hold it up but. You know????

i think that's it. i really want to own this movie. there is just so much to it. it's so good. oh god

#local moss loses their mind over atsv AGAIN (for the fourth time)#also i was like. yeah i never got around to talking about my thoughts for this movie #that was a lie. there are thoughts. there are MANY thoughts #all of this is just. theorizing. btw. im the number one miles fan ever so im biased against miguel #SPEAKING OF. during his first appearance. some girls in the theater were being very loud about him. even saw one pull out her phone to #record it. this is the plague we are dealing with now #but also miguel and bruce are too similar as characters for me and im annoyed by bruce on good days so. perhaps it was always going to be #like this...#atsv

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myst1calx · 1 year

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unironically i kinda hate how sonic feels and acts in newer media (specifically prime and a bit of idw)

rant/tangent time wooo

note: might be a bit unorganized due to this being on my old azz galaxy s7 edge lol

alright. So i just finished reading the idw sonic comics allll the way up to the the most recent side comic, Scrapnik Island #4.

So like, while reading the main idw comic i kinda felt like.. sonic was just kinda a dick near the end for no reason??? Like yeah hes mostly fine in the beginning but once we get to the point where people put these high expectations on him and hes basically under a lot of pressure (which i understand) but i feel like the way they are characterizing him is just :

"haha sonic doesnt care and acts on inpulse like a dick and doesnt recognize the shit hes done and is basically a little shit lmao he also is just kinda and idiot and seems to forget things on the basis of when it most convient for him !!!"

i didnt really feel much of it in idw until the later chapters, but it started to get prevalent when i was reading these in between me watching Sonic Boom. (The Show, which is my favorite outside of AOSTH.)

Now personally, i think Sonic Boom's charactasation of Sonic is probably the best one we have had in a long while. Although its a comedy, i like how sonic is aware of what's going on and takes into account what his friends are suggesting.

Like the episode where he does something that affects a citizen of the town, (minds going blank on what the towns name is lmao) and when his friends (and the other villagers) let him join the whole "talk about our feelings" club thing,

at first, he opposes the idea of apologizing saying that calling people "people" isnt bad, (ik this was played for jokes it still supports my argument.) they encourage him to recognize that what he did was wrong,, and they tell him to go apologize, and he does, albeit with a bit of "ok fine i admit it pls go away" but atleast he doesnt outright deny it or seem stupid for trying to do so and failing.

Thats my issue with prime, sonic just seems like an oblivious idiot who doesnt recogize how to read the damn room and listen to his friends when it matters most. He acts like a tiny child, which doesnt make sense to me, because hes been through adventures and times similar to this and for most of the newer media they dont wanna recognize sonics shortcomings and upbringings as a character at all??????? Like i think frontiers got it right with the story, and sonic who understood what was going on and stopped every once in a while to smell the roses and help his friends!

But in newer media outside of frontiers, it seems like sonic doesnt know how to smell the fucking roses every once in a while and stop thinking on impulse, like they are making him seem like he only acts on impulse, all the damn time, with no regards of what was or is being said to him or even taking it into account???

Like yes, we fucking get it sonic can sometimes act on impulse when hes in a stressful situation thats what makes him seem real, makes him seem human.

But, when you make him into this douche canoe who acts on inpulse all the time, disregards his friends when it matters most, and casually dissapoints them when ever he feels like it, or when it benefits him (cough cough the picnic scene in prime), i dont think most people would want him to have a good time, which im sure is the reason why most people, including myself, thought sonic deserved that punch from shadow. (who is great in prime btw, was okay in boom too but needed more time to flesh him out outside of 3 eps hes supper immature and i love him lmao) He's a dick. And i dont like him.

So, i hope to god they rewrite sonics character in prime s2 because he was unrionically just a giant fuckin dick instead of a snarky but caring 'anti hero' (like in boom) and that makes me really mad grahhhh

[also side tangent i dont hate prime (lemme make this clear) this whole sonic rant was just me nitpicking how sonic is currently in media outside of frontiers

ALSO ALSO SIDE TANGENT 2 HOW DID THEY FUCK UP SONIC SO BAD BUT GOT SHADOW ALL GOOD AND SHIT????? WHATT???? BRO THEY ARE POLAR OPPOSITE CIRCLE GRAPHS WHICH OVERLAP THEY ARE NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE SOBS INTENTLY]

#myst1calrambles #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonicidw #sonic prime #sonicboom #sonic rant #sorry for ranting so much grrr #i was tired of this thing #had to get out at some point #prime just made me rly mad #sonic prime spoilers

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0thsense · 2 months

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3/6/2024

Interestingly it's been less than a month since I last posted. I'm watching a Docker tutorial right now. It's really really boring, and I'm worried im not gonna retain anything from it. I thought it'd been longer since I last posted, part of the reason I came to post today was guilt at not posting sooner.

One of the main challenges I'm facing right now other than the obvious job search is finding a way to keep my oxytocin high. I'm alone in the house for this whole month and I'm trying to survive I guess. I'm already doing better than last time when I was cooked after living alone for like only four days. I'm trying all sorts of things to increase oxytocin, like heavily committing to seeing people like driving up to SF for brandon's bday party. I met a cute girl there and mordekaiser ulted her, and it was kinda awkward. I've forgotten how to 1v1 people and ask interesting questions. I also try to watch content and be parasocial for oxytocin because I'm pretty sure it works.

Random tangent - a useful product/potential startup idea would be a chemical reaction based air conditioner that maintains a steady temperature in a room, and is fueled by the ingredients for the chemical reaction.

I have one recruiter and two tech interviews coming up. It's about what I expected I guess going in. If I fail these im cooked probably. I haven't been great at applying myself to applications/prep. This docker video is really putting me off. My energy is split between leetcode, system design, and personal projects.

Going meta here, I dislike that I'm mostly just being expository in these posts. I wanted this diary to be more of my random personal thoughts. But because I'm writing out of guilt and not out of a burst of mental energy, I don't have those thoughts on hand. I definitely had something worth writing yesterday but I've forgotten it.

I cried listening to Theme of Love from FF4 distant worlds yesterday. I've recently started listening to music in the car which seems to help unlock my emotions. I think about how beautiful the heart and soul put into games like FF are, and I cry thinking about how I feel like I can never create something with that much heart and soul put in. Surely my cope to maximize these mental chemicals will lead me to the goal right?

Currently I'm leaning towards the position that my life isn't worth living, but it's not bad enough that I can justify ending it. For the sake of my family I have to live. I thought about a video game character who ends up with a kid as his reason to live, and realized now that that is like the most cliche character ever.

I remembered what I thought about yesterday. People hate nepotism and always complain about how networking and adjacent things are so important. But for most jobs it makes sense because knowing someone is a really strong signal compared to seeing their resume and a couple interviews. People always say to network but never really explain (at least not to me) why networking is so important from a fundamental level, and why the capitalist economy has agreed that networking plays a massive role in finding jobs/opportunities. I'd like to compile some of these truths you can find just by thinking a little bit about into a book.

Another thing I've been thinking about is that truly everybody is different. It would be easier to reason about things if you could abstract people better, but if you abstract all the way, the commonalities you find between people are pretty scant. You pretty much get things at the base level like maslow's heirarchy of needs. Another way of framing it is obtaining the pleasure chemicals in the brain. But the ways those needs manifest and the methods to satisfy those needs varies so much across person to person. That's why sciences like exercise, nutrition, and psychology and so fragmented and contradictory is because there's so much variance in these. And that's also why parents are so important for development and teaching because genetics mean their advice/experience will be so much more applicable.

I've noticed that I basically hear nothing about the upcoming election. Especially compared to the last time trump was the republican candidate. I guess the novelty has worn off, and I wonder if that's good or bad for trump's chances.

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