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elkian · 3 years

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I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance.

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

[BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

SERIOUSLY]

What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*).

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

#elk text #24th #February #2021 #February 24th 2021 #I hope the bold helps with reading #long post warn #elk has thoughts #sorry for the ramble #Ableism #other shit comes up but plz keep in mind that that is the PRIMARY POINT OF THIS #also:#child abuse warn #abuse warn #harry potter spoilers warn #boku no hero spoilers #like REAL BIG spoilers for later Hero Academia stuff!#this is not a character hate post and i will block judiciously #elk has feelings

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official-alan-dabiri · 3 years

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First and foremost, we have some exciting new changes that everyone can get behind. Absolutely nobody has a problem with the new experience globe mechanics. New experience globes are only at full value for six seconds, and after that are worth 25% exp. And then they last for thirty-nine seconds. Nobody finds this objectionable in any way. This change was not on the PTR due to public outcry from Reddit when it was leaked early, but it’s here live with all of its zero problems fixed.

Another change about which we have received zero complaints is a new tag system behind the scenes. People looking for just the right hero for the situation can easily find it by searching for such keywords as “CC” “Silence�� “Sustain” and “Double soak” and find extremely useful and not absolute garbage results. Don’t worry about checking it ahead of time, just get right into draft mode and use it to find the perfect pick!

In addition to those minor and unobjectionable changes, we have removed Volskaya Foundry from the ranked queue, and added everyone’s favorite quickmatch map, Warhead Junction. We have also done this simultaneously with an Overwatch-themed event.

Hero changes below the cut, because this patch is another doozy, with fiiiiiive herooooo rewoooooorks, Four buffed assassins, three nerfed offlaners, two nerfed tanks and we also nerfed the looost viiiikiiiings!

Anduin is the first of our reworks and with him taking a more prominent role in Shadowlands we want to be able to welcome WoW players with open arms. He, uh, doesn’t have a new skin or anything, we just want people to play this game. The central goal of the buff is to improve his healing output in line with other heroes without removing the largest strength in Leap of Faith. As such, we’re just touching literally every part of his kit and talent try and praying that it goes the way we want.

People keep mistaking Johanna for the best tank in the game. This is factually untrue, since Muradin exists. As such, we are just gutting the absolute pants off of Johanna’s talent tree and making it weird and clunky.

For too long has Raynor been the scourge of draft play. Too good to skip, but not scary enough to ban. Perfect macro contributions, with respectable hero damage. Enough self-sustain to take weight off your healer, and self-peel for when tanks are bad. The perfect killing machine. As such, we’ve nerfed his damage into the ground. Start playing Greymane, bitches.

Stitches has proven to be a mediocre bruiser in the eyes of the community. After all these years, I think I know why. We accidentally categorized him as a tank. As such, he needs some serious changes to make him fit that label. This whole time we’ve been balancing him as a bruiser and nobody said anything? This is as much your fault as it is mine.

The average damage output of a ranged assassin has been steadily climbing for a while now. As a result, for a hero to actually be a glass cannon, they need some serious firepower. Valla now has the gunpowder to match her glass. And she’s the glassiest cannon there is. Don’t get me wrong, she still evaporates like a drop of water in California when an enemy hero looks at her. But when she has a solid tank and three healers behind her, the world is your oyster.

Oh my god they didn’t break down the heroes by category. Jesus Christ what the fuck Blizzard? You just decided that this is the line? This is the day you stop caring? Well, congratulations, you’ve made reading your patch notes mildly more inconvenient. I’m still doing this. Ya bunch of jack-offs.

Mei has been grossly overperforming, and we have no idea how that happened. We certainly didn’t buff her over and over again for an entire year. Anyway, we’re just going to roll some stuff back. Definitely probably fine.

It turns out - and bear with me here because this might be hard to follow - Hogger, D.va, and Sonya were all overtuned? For six months? So we’re just gonna tippy tappy them down the smallest little bit. And then slap them around a little for good measure. D.va’s mech form is no longer indomitable, Hogger can no longer solo any merc camp in the game in 12 seconds, and Sonya is now... Basically fine still, honestly. We kinda gave her just a slap on the wrist in comparison. But honestly after gutting Hogger like that, I just didn’t have the heart. One of the benefits from being a little later, alphabetically.

After riding the TLV train up through the ranks, I think it’s about time to recognize that I’m not actually good at them. They’re just overtuned. So it’s time to come back to earth, Icarus. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly-small HP nerf, though. The real nerf is buffing Longboat Raid. People are going to have to pick it to test it and it’s gonna murder their winrate.

Someone told me that Lucio is a problem and needed to be addressed this patch, but my cat came into the home office being adorable so I didn’t hear exactly what they said. So we had to kinda wing it. Hopefully these minor adjustments to his talent tree will solve whatever they were talking about!

Even we know Uther is a problem. Being first pickable and filling three different unique roles was what we wanted to do with Varian not Uther. So we’re going to try and make him incrementally worse at tanking until he just goes away. First up: Shaving off some of that personal armor.

AFK splitpush trash Azmodan is dead. Long live teamfight artillery mage Azmodan. Really glad I made the last HotS Content post about Nova instead of Azmodan because boy howdy do these changes invalidate the entire playstyle that post would have discussed.

W build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was he riddled with bugs after the rework - don’t worry, we learned from our mistakes and made sure there were no bugs with our new reworks - but also he had the ability to point and click on an enemy hero and force them to run all the way to the next lane over in order to stop taking buckets of free damage. It turns out that ability was more powerful than anticipated, and required adjustment.

Q build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was it completely overshadowed by a build that did more damage in every situation with less skill requirement, but we overestimated the value of macro power on a build that demands PvP for stacking. As such, we’ve doubled the amount of power each stack gives him! That’ll do.

AA build Falstad... Stay the course, buddy. Doin’ fine.

Junkrat has been underperforming, which is surprising for a hero with his level of power. As such, we’re going to make a few small buffs to hopefully draw attention, and then we can roll things back once the pickrate reflects his actual power. Hopefully then WE CAN FINALLY MAKE THE MANDATORY CHANGE I PUT IN EVERY MEMO. TYRE. WITH A Y. THAT’S HOW THEY SPELL IT IN AUSTRALIA. KAEO I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU- wait, did Kaeo leave? Who the fuck is still here? Kinnabrew? Adam? Jason? JASON! JASON!?

Tassadar has also fallen off a lot without us having done anything at all whatsoever to nerf him. Entirely undeserved treatment. I’m disappointed in all of you. As such, we’re going to tweak his numbers up just a little tippy tap so that you all remember who killed the Overmind. It wasn’t James Raynor or Sarah Kerrigan. It was Tassadar... Tassadar Bassadar. That’s his last name. Don’t look it up, just trust me.

In the bug fix department, we’ve had a nice sit-down with the Mountain Giants on Alterac and told them that if they have time to lean, they have time to clean. Reaching the end of their lane and expecting the core to come to them is putting undue stress on an already overtaxed position. The core is a very stressful job, and if the mountain giants could just do their part to walk into the core pit when they arrive, that’s a huge load off their shoulders. Drek’thar and Vanndar really needed this expectation taken off them right now, and I’m hopeful it will lead to a better work environment.

#Heroes of the Storm #patch notes #Don't message me telling me Tassadar's real last name #I know it's De La Cruz

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aqvarius · 4 years

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Masquerade Kiss: Do Bad Girls Like to Self-pleasure? Kazuomi Shido - otona love - chapter 5 summary/translation

this is the cutest, fluffiest chapter that we get before all the steamy stuff begins. sorry it’s coming a bit later than usual, i was super tired and decided to sleep and finish it the next day. basically this entire chapter is just a conversation between you and kazuomi which is both great and terrible for me because my dialogue translations are so boring, but i think the content of this chapter is cute and sweet enough that i hope it’ll satisfy you.

the chapter begins with a quick recap of what just happened at the end of chapter 4 which you can read here, or check out my translations page to read from the start. kazuomi is hugging you from behind and you start to speak, telling him that he’s been so busy lately and you didn’t want him to overdo it, so you didn’t let yourself get “tired out” to your full capacity.

“you were thinking about such a thing?”

“because... i haven’t been able to contact you recently,” you say. “when i turn on the tv, there’s nothing but news about you. it’s not bad news, but it’s all you.”

“it’s like that whenever there’s a new resort project,” kazu explains. “the mass media follows me.”

“that’s because it’s your specialty,” you say. you thought that he would be tired from being so busy, but that might not be the case.

kazuomi thinks that as you said, this degree of busyness is nothing new. however, it’s also true that he was tired without realising it.

“i never thought you’d take a whole day off for my sake like this,” you say. “all the more, i wanted you to relax”

you: “today, i wanted to restfully spend time doing nothing”

meanwhile, kazuomi had thought you wanted to spend a more concentrated* day together.

*濃い - i’m not really sure how else to translate this but it’s a word that’s used to mean when something is deeper/darker (in colour), denser/stronger or thicker/richer (as in a more concentrated soup/sauce). i previously used “enriching” but essentially i think kazuomi means a day that’s more busy or packed with activities/events.

“that’s why you just snuggled up without doing anything, huh”

“hm...? in other words, you did “that” at that time because you were concerned about me?”

“at that time? what are you talking about?” you ask.

“the energy that i use to embrace you runs on a different tank**. don’t worry about me getting tired”

**this is kind of paraphrasing but basically what he is saying is that the physical strength he uses to have sex with you is a separate issue.

at first you stare at him, mystified, as you turn around. suddenly, you leap out of his arms to a good distance away.

“what’s wrong?”

(come on kazuomi don’t do this, you know exactly what’s wrong lmao)

you: “wha...!? eh? i-it can’t be...”

kazu says it seems like you were feeling it on your own without him (as in feeling [good], not literally feeling yourself up).

“that face you have when you’re feeling good... if i can, i’d like the satisfaction of making you make it in my arms”

(lskdf sorry i tried 5 times to phrase this in a way that captures even a little bit of how suave kazuomi is but i just can’t because there are so many parts to that sentence lol)

your face turns red with a vigour that kazuomi has never seen before.

you: “ah, ummm, that’s....!”

“it’s not like you need to hide it. it’s my responsibility that i couldn’t satisfy you”

“...or so i thought... but it seems like i was mistaken”

you stutter some more and then say, “that morning, i thought i was going to tire you out again...”

“i mean... did you see it!?” you ask.

kazuomi explains that he was going to call out to you to take a shower with him.

“you just be joking...! i don’t believe it!” you exclaim. “i-in the first place, you shouldn’t...!”

“considerably agitated, mc is completely flustered.”

“what, is it my fault after all?”

you: “you’re, you... you”

you: “...you do it well...” (😔)

btw i’m only posting these particular screenshots bc it’s hysterical to me how incoherent she is

this is another answer outside of his expectations, and his head tilts.

you: “...i couldn’t forget your fingers... even after waking up, my body... that is...”

“i see. you wanted me”

you: “...i would have been fine if you weren’t in front of me though”

you: “that is... no matter what, i was horny***...”

***this word also means in agony/anguished but i looked it up and it’s also slang for horny, thanks weblio for helping me yet again lmao

"now that you mention it, i thought you kept looking this way that time,” kazuomi thinks. “it seems as though the thing i was curious about [that caused her to keep looking my way that morning] was my fingers that had pleasured her the night before”

“what’s that about. you should have just told me honestly”

(not sure how to translate the tone when he says “なんだ” here but i hope you get it)

“if it’s what you desire, can’t i provide you with as much satisfaction you as much as you like?”

“didn’t i just say... i didn’t want you to get tired?” you say. “if i said the word, you would definitely indulge my every selfish whim no matter the situation”

“it’s my pleasure”

(like the present tense version of “that would be my pleasure”. ugha;slkfjds kazu loves spoiling his mc so much. this is literally the best version of him and we are so blessed to see it)

kazuomi explains that it’s the only time that you can “melt” since you can't leave any gaps open during your usual work (melt here meaning like be ravished/in [sexual] ecstasy). i’m not sure if he’s referring to the busyness of her job or the fact that she’s always playing a tightly controlled persona, but likely the latter.

“don’t you think that seeing that face would blow away the fatigue of my work?”

you: “no way... you would never think of such a sentimental thing”

(lmao girl if only you could see his internal dialogue like we can!!)

“heh, i would never? well, that’s been the case so far”

“but i would say... you’re special?”

he captures you, who had escaped, again and hugs you tightly from behind.

you: “shido...?”

“do you love**** me that much?”

****he actually says “like” but voltage tends to translate this as love, although it’s not as heavy/deep as 愛してる which is super serious

“how did you get that from this situation?” you reply.

after wriggling a little in his arms, you quickly become docile.

you: “...i love you”

kazuomi: “yeah. i know”

same thing with the like/love as above. you also say it in kind of a slightly petulant way.

ALSO i’m here to interrupt because can you BELIEVE shido “worried about this for days and gave his friends all the sordid details and planned the most uncharacteristic day off because he was worried he wasn’t enough for you” kazuomi had the AUDACITY to just han solo you like that????

“i know that you know, but... i love you,” you say.

“...i see. you wanted me so much that you couldn’t be settled until you took care of yourself”

“but still, you worried about me and didn’t say anything...”

“...i’m glad,” kazuomi says.

“my love was properly transmitted to you”

(🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 BEST BOY KAZUOMI)

you: “about that... isn’t it obvious?”

“to say that it’s not conveyed that i’m being loved that much, i’m not obtuse” (i think this is what she’s trying to say, basically that she can feel that his love for her is being communicated properly?)

“that’s right. you’re that kind of a woman”

kazuomi thinks that you’re always a step ahead of his thoughts, saying things that show how much you understand him.

“there’s no way such a woman couldn’t receive my love.”

“could it be that you thought i did ... something like that because i wasn’t satisfied with you?” you ask.

kazuomi replies that that would be the ordinary train of thought, adding that while he’s still on the topic, he thinks there’s still something you’re not satisfied with.

you tell him you’ve accepted his feelings with all of your might, you’re not dissatisfied...

“but that wasn’t the case at that time, right?” questions kazuomi.

you turn in his direction, and he looks down into your face. you cast your eyes down, embarrassed. he tries to catch your gaze and you look down further.

you: “asshole*****...”

*****other options i was playing with were “meanie” or “jerk” but they didn’t have the right feel. imagine her calling him a knobhead tho.

“i want to make all your wishes come true”

“it’s a foul to not have concern [for your partner]. in that case, i’d have to do the same thing”

basically he’s saying since you were so concerned about me, i’m going to have to return the favour. look at him, making it out like it’s a game of equals when he’s really just a fool in love...

“the same thing... meaning...” you say.

“if you won’t get tired, i’ll embrace you as much as you like”

i’m trying to keep the sentences quite concise but he’s basically saying if you’re still not worn out (from the copious amounts of lovemaking) and want more, he’ll have sex with you as many times as you want. in case you didn’t already know, often when you see mcs get flustered bc their love interest talks about “holding/embracing” them, it’s because the same word can be used to mean sleeping/having sex with.

“but... i always want to [make] love [to] you”

..........!

(he’s saying no matter when, he always wants to love you, which in this case means “make love to” but i guess can maybe also be read in the emotional sense? idk we all know kazu is secretly a huge romantic)

finally, you raise your face. kazuomi doesn’t miss the heat flaring in your eyes when you see his expression.

you: “in that case... i... want you to hold***** me”

*****same situation re: the hold/embrace thing. she’s saying “then have sex with me” lmao.

also lkajsflks i’m crying bc kazuomi will give you anything you ever wished for (and probably delights in being able to provide it), you just have to dare to ask him

“okay”

kazuomi is giving off an aura that he thinks would make you pull back if you were on mission (i think this is what it’s trying to say lol but not 100%), but at times like this, you always get embarrassed and show a shy and troubled face.

“the one who lights my fire is always “you””

basically he’s talking about the true you, not arisa. alksdfj kazuomi is so in love i can’t BEAR IT

“whether you’re being bold or honest, or even when we’re bargaining******...”

“i’m in trouble because of how fascinated i am by all of it.”

******he’s talking about all the bets and negotiations and challenges and banter between you two. actually there’s a lot more i want to explain here. i chose to use “bold”, but it also refers to when you’re being audacious (like if you’re cheekily talking back to him). honest in this case also means frank/straightforward (about your feelings), but can also imply docility/obedience. essentially the two have very different (almost contrary) vibes.

that’s it for chapter 5! hope you are keeping your teeth brushed to prevent all the cavities this chapter will inevitably give you. i’m floored by how much of a lovestruck fool kazuomi is. maybe it’s just the poor quality of my translations even though i tried somewhat to preserve some tone in cases where i felt it really needed it, but i feel like his internal dialogue here is a lot sweeter and straightforward than his external dialogue? i’m glad they sorted out the misunderstanding though, and how sweet of his mc to be so concerned about his health. i love seeing them be all cheesy for each other but sometimes disguising it as banter because let’s be real, both of them are total love virgins and don’t know how to just straightforwardly talk about the true depth of their affections for each other.

in the next chapter, kazuomi returns the favour, things get reaaaal smutty, and i get a headache from trying to understand sexual euphemisms. please let me know what you thought of this chapter!

i’ve set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

click here for chapter 6

#kazuomi shido #masquerade kiss #voltage smut #otona love #otkoi #summary #translation #voltage inc #otome game #voltage otome #otome romance #悪女はセルフプレジャーがお好き？#マスカレード・キス〜危険な駆け引き〜

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bealect · 4 years

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Sweet Summer : A Literary Analysis

Society engage a lot of problems especially in this generation because people tend to judge one’s appearance despite of one’s capability and inner goodness. The definition of Beauty as time goes by is vague and doesn’t have any definite picture to follow. Nowadays, physical appearance is the new way of having friends – in school, work, and even in sudden events. Having a “beauty” means people will respect you and even treat you like a princess. It is quite a dissent because people invariably look upon the figure of a person which is a deficient reason to settle a preference. However, as a society expands, another matter arises – problem after a problem such as the bullying, sexual harassment, and ‘sexism vs. feminism’ issues wherein these broad problems came from the people itself.

In the story entitled, “Sweet Summer" written by Cyan Jugo, it depicts the story of The Candy Club – consists of 12 year old teens who loves to eat sweets every afternoon. A simple story that talks about society today, figuratively.

In the story, it gives emphasis mainly to the characters, the forces, and the Point of View of the speaker. First, the character of each persona in the story, they represents a bunch of roles in society today. Camilla and Faye are kind of people who started to mock everything around them or anything that doesn't beautiful in their eyes and they represents those people who doesn't care in the welfare of others, they have the audacity to see people like a laughingstock thing. Sarah, a figure who has the traits of good and nice seems to have a low self-esteem to herself. However, despite of being aloof to people, she managed to have a conversation to Frederick. She managed to interact with someone she hardly knew and that makes her character notable. The boys including Frederick and his older brother Felix, are portraying the role of majority especially of men – bold and brave.

In terms of conflict of the story, the forces is mainly all about the Man vs. the Society. Literally speaking, reading the story itself is much different when the reader analyzes every details of it. The word ‘society' never found in the story but because of its context, it was concluded to be connected to the recent events of society. The phrase, “Don't walk alone at night," Frederick warned. "People can jump at you like Dolby did." figuratively means, it is dangerous to stay late when it’s already night time. Frederick said those words to Sarah is implying the harm and danger of one's life especially a woman (girl). Basically, it pertains to how a society - supposedly a happy and secure place, could be a reason of one's death. In addition, another reason is apparent in the story – the lack of knowledge or understanding about the sexual aspect of a person. In the first paragraph, the words that were used indicates how the boys acted towards those beautiful girls. Moreover, society tend to set standards of what's good and bad, what's beautiful, and what's beneficiary to majority of people. In the story, it's a clear picture of what's the norms – having a beautiful face and curves and boys having fun staring and ogling like bees to the girls.

Author uses the 3rd Person as Point of View in the story makes sense because the readers hardly analyze the hints and what the authors trying to imply to its readers. Also, having a speaker that is not part of the character in the story is an advantage because readers can't read the entire thoughts of the characters. In the last sentence of the story, “Off they went the way Frederick and Sara had come, but forgetting Sara. Only the dog looked back, licking his nose.”, readers can't or couldn’t conclude what's on the mind of Frederick, but one thing is obvious, his pet dog looked back, and the author give emphasis to the words ‘licking his nose' which as a reader could indicate something – desire. Dogs have this behavior of licking something they like, they like the taste and everything about a particular thing. Author made and emphasize a point that the dog looked back means there might more to happen if there's no interruption or intruder.

In terms of symbolisms or recurrent images - in the sentence, “The older boys had begun to hover about like bees, ogling them like treats – but only the two creamy long-legged eclairs, not the nut-brown fudge in a housedress melting in the sun. ”, the meaning behind it was apparent. The phrase, “to hover about like bees, ogling them like treats - ” means boys are giving too much attention to the girls in a way that their actions dominate by a sexual desire. In the phrase, “only the two creamy long-legged eclairs, not the nut-brown fudge in a housedress melting in the sun” evidently means there’s a preference of what’s beautiful. As the author emphasize to the options, it simply means what’s appetizing in one’s eyes is good. The words, “eclairs” and “fudge” symbolizes a sweet girl or a woman and they just differ with their skin complexion. The ‘eclairs’ are women who usually have a white skin meanwhile the ‘fudge’ are women who have a brown or tanned skin based on the denotative meaning of the two words. In short, both are girls but only the premier is appreciated and noticed by the boys.

Second symbolism or recurrent image in the story is the words spoken by Camilla – one of the members of The Candy Club, “Frederick, walk your two dogs!”. The author used the figures of speech yet it gives a clear explanation that there’s a mocking in the voice of a girl, it could also be an insult and a case of bullying. From the context, it could infer that because of brown skin color of the girl named Sara, probably, there’s an ill-treat of her rights.

Third recurrent image that I read in the story is the statement coming from the brother of Frederick named Felix, “You’re a natural! I’m proud of you! Now let me introduce you to some real yummies over there…”, basically means there’s a privilege in the part of a boy doing an intimate scene with the opposite sex and it made a point that it’s natural and good behavior as a male instead of correcting and explaining what’s the proper way of helping a female without having a dirty thoughts. This kind of mentality must begin at home especially from the family members so that it could reflect to the community and as much as possible, to the society.

Lastly, in the last part of the story wherein it narrates the following, “Sara watched both of them – one, then the other – and wished it had been the boy who had jumped at her and not the dog.”, symbolizes the misleading idea of youths between the lust and love. Moreover, this is a clear picture of how a 12-year-old girl or the teens of today, influences by the notion of the societies norms. This is not just to mere narrates the story but also it carries a message of how a teen reacts to an abrupt emotions in a situation and mistook it to something deep and serious which is not suitable for that age.

In the story, it is a clear representation of the ‘sexism vs. feminism’ issue. The boys including Frederick and his older brother symbolize the strength of men especially on being a dominant in terms of sexual desire. Society of today seems unaware of what’s happening in the issue of the two contradictory beliefs. In the story, Sexism pays attention to the character of the boys at the village’s water tank; it depicts their power over girls especially in the phrase, ‘He picked the honey-lemon. Good, since she wanted the Cloud 9.’, a clear representation of women afraid of voicing out her thoughts. Politicians matches this kind of representation. They are elected because they will serves as the voice of their subject in the Senate however, those motives aren’t somehow present in regards for the recent matters. One thing that is present today that is not included in the story is the rights of everyone – there are now laws regarding to human rights and women rights, and it is a good thing because it indicates how a society works and blends well to people. Discrimination especially the bullying is entirely visible in the story – the bullies and the bullied, and the root of it is one's physical appearance, a norms when it comes to beauty. In the phrase, 'Aachoo!" Faye winked at the bright sky.”, is indirect way of disliking someone, in addition, ‘winked at the bright sky’, figuratively means, diverting attention to something because you can't keep watching someone who is not good in the eyes (don't like).

Another issue of society apparent in the story is the lack of understanding on entertaining sexual thoughts and what can it implies to someone in regards with an actions. The phrase, “- and wished it had been the boy who had jumped at her and not the dog.”, is unusual thought to a 12-year old teen. Giving a point that the author wrote these words implies deep and serious problem of a society such as the increasing numbers of teenage pregnancy, teen mothers, and over population of a country because of improper information dissemination in literacy. Teachers, and parents has a big part in educating these teens through direct, personal, and conversational talks – it could be helpful for a teen who will undergo like in the story's circumstances, they'll easily recognize those temporary emotions and what is the normal thing to do.

This story is may not be sweet and complete ending as readers ought to expect, it is a sweet reminder to everyone that listen intently to people and observe the environment can be a huge help in defining and molding the society’s future. Summer is not just a season after the spring, it could be as hot as this what other people called ‘minor issues’ if people keep on avoiding this supposed to be ‘awareness’.

#sweet summer #literary analysis #women #gender equality #summer #short story

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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I think the biggest lie about the united states that we’re told since birth as citizens is that... america is a country.

Okay, hear me out, two parts to this.

There’s the very obvious part of “The United States is a Country, America isn’t, it’s a continent.” EG North/South America. The United States of America.

But really in actual execution there’s another point -- to which the above shorthand even panders. Our states.

Our states are supposedly largely able to self-govern and set a bunch of laws free of actual national oversight. In fact, Republicans gong on about this and throw supposed fits while ironically pushing for bigger and bigger police state involvement America, but regardless of the actual effective application of it, that’s the idea.

Most states are huge. If you compared US States to countries in Europe in terms of size and diversity of geography and culture, you’d see next to no difference.

“United States.” That’s just it though, that’s the key word. What’s in a state, really. Because by definition, the word “country” can be applied variably to states, sovereign states, nations and nation-states. That’s right, some countries are states. Which seems like a really basic thing but again, hear me out.

The very idea of 50 united states, all small countries unto themselves, united together is pretty much just... I dunno, a UNION. Like the European Union. But the countries, that could even be called states, within the European Union don’t just pretend they’re all one big country.

So my weird point in all of this is that the nationalism of the united states is such a huge, falsely constructed phenomenon at our current junction. It’d be like europeans screaming back and forth at each other over the need to absolutely support any and all decisions by the biggest head in the EU or you’re Not Patriotic And A Sinner Or Whatever. Only in America’s case, that individual is making more and more martial decisions that are becoming outright catastrophic to surrounding nations.

EU countries do things like give their citizens EU health insurance cards. Which would be like, rather than (State) medicaid, it’s also (Federal) medicaid, as long as there’s some reciprocation involved and basic communication. The European Union is the ultimate foreign policy maker. And so on. Sound familiar? Most of the EU is now border free without border checks or hassles. Also sound familiar to over here?

“The United States of America”‘s nationalism to force adherence to absolute bullshit is ridiculous. It’s more like The Smiles For The Christmas Card Countries of America, above which the slightly more organized but never invited to christmas canada hat sits hoping we don’t go nuclear. Just like countries have their own parliaments/parallel, we have state senates and whatever else. America isn’t just one country, it’s 50 very crudely strapped together countries that DESPERATELY need to at least break into like 5 territories for general management before we all just die in a civil war that isn’t even really a civil war just a continental one.

If it ever feels like Alabama and Oregon are completely different countries, that’s because essentially, they are. They just happen to be in the same union. It’s like pretending Sweden and Latvia have related political issues and needs and that people in one should get to make very loud decisions that heavily impact people in the other. Shockingly, the EU has mostly worked out war policy and health care. Maybe not perfectly. But better than our discombobulated asses out here.

I’m sure someone’s going to come and try to hyperanalyze pinpoint-pick-apart something on completely unnecessary semantics but the general point is here -- we’re now at a point where we’re... IDK. The EU has a few kinds of presidents, right? The council, Commission, and president of Parliament but that’s kinda like the three branches of government. I guess it’d be like a large batch of Europeans like worshipping Donald Tusk’s decisions even if he started rolling tanks through town For Reasons. Given I’m approaching this part from an academic level of more reading about than living the EU experience so there may be a better parallel.

And no, Tusk is no Trump. AFAIK he’s been working against Russia meddling in Ukraine? And outright mailed that Trump is a huge threat to the EU? But like. Put Trump in Tusk’s position. Tusk in Trump. That’s it, that’s the difference, Europeans just aren’t brought to praise the ground the EU leader(s) walk(s) on.

Just random thoughts for people indoctrinated about US BS from the inside and people outside that are still sort of looking at the US and going WTF. There’s essentially 50 countries over here with different needs, and a large batch of them living in very, very old and dated times with heavy religious influence, but have used the union overhead to get themselves disproportionately represented among the union at large, in a way that’s dictating the entire union in favor of these smaller countries and barring this union from making basic fucking decisions that the better part of Europe is decades ahead of us on, even if struggling in some areas.

In fact, the better part of the states and areas that pull disproportionate advantage and representation just so happen to be the same areas that tried to leave the union during the civil war. And lost. Devastatingly. And have been trying to bend things to their old favor ever since. For all their "she lost, get over it" memes these same states sure haven't gotten over losing the civil war. Seriously. Cut slave states out of the union, run an election, see if a republican ever gets elected ever again. You know, to be the head of the American Union. Because that’s all it fucking is.

The Confederacy was Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina and Virginia No, really. Please. Break away and do your own thing again, be a different country. California alone would outweigh about the sum of remaining red states, much less... literally everything else.

You wanna know why Texas threatens to leave the union constantly but never fucking DOES? Because republicans would never win again and it takes down most of the rest of the mason-dixon front with it. That’s it, that’s the only reason. PLEASE secede from the union and take the others with you. BUT THE USA HAS A FLAG

so does the EU

BUT MY STATE HAS A FLAG

so do countries in the EU.

fuck this false nationalism bullshit in general. White nationalism is of course a huge part of it but seriously fuck general american nationalism it’s one giant fucking lie. The entire union is fucking corrupted in the upper levels, as we all know and rant about but in such a rancorous way that even pulling out for the Right Reasons would end up being disasterous, it’s like a hostage situation of 50 basically-countries all slapping at each other with a megaphone given to the people who LOST the war of how to run the union to begin with.

Europeans should probably start asking Americans what state they’re from and hold that in the same way they hold discourse about countries of the EU. And Americans should probably identify by state to the outside world. “I’m from Europe” gives nowhere near the idea as “I’m from Spain.” Same goes for America. In example, I’m traveled! I was born in California! Raised at the border of Illinois and Wisconsin! Spent a huge chunk of life in Texas! Had my best success in Oregon! Am currently spinning my wheels trying to get out of Alabama! And you know what? Literally ALL of them had completely different culture. But seriously fuck anything in the mason-dixon line.

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crossbowking · 5 years

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The Road Ahead : Chapter 18

Chapter Index HERE

Summary : (Set in the beginning of season 1) Anna Brooks lost everything after the world ended — the last remaining part of herself being her older brother, who she lost contact with after communications dropped. While en route towards Atlanta to find him, Anna’s truck breaks down, leaving her at the mercy of the cruel new world. Now, Anna must face her fears head on as she struggles to deal with devastating loss, constant danger, and finding her way in a land that now belongs to the dead. But sometimes, a glimmer of hope can be found disguised as a short-tempered, hard-headed redneck who may just save her life in more ways than one.

Pairings : Daryl x Original Female Character

Warnings : Slow-Burn, Language/Violence/typical Walking Dead themes

Author’s Note : Oh. Hi. *crickets*

I KNOW I HAVEN’T UPDATED IN MONTHS. LITERAL MONTHS. I’M SORRY. BUT THIS WRITING SHIT IS LIKE...HARD. I hope y’all remember wtf has happened in this story because I had to go back and reread because I was LOST. So hopefully this shit makes sense. (I’ll insert a recap to refresh everyone’s memory.)

I’m sorry. I’m gonna go hide in the corner now.

Shoutout to @wilhelmjfink for creating the awesome cover pic for this series! Love you bb.

THIS CHAPTER IS DARYL’S POV, ALSO.

Okay, that is all.

xx crossbowking

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Recap...

- Anna was attacked by Merle (hopped up on coke, mind you) en route towards Atlanta in search of her brother, Ben. Their parents died at some point during the journey and Anna now wears their wedding rings on a chain around her neck.

- Daryl swoops in and saves Anna from Merle, fixes her truck, and they have a moment *swoon*. He offers her a place in his group but she declines, putting her family first and continuing for Atlanta (even though he already told her the city was destroyed).

- Anna spends the night in a shitty gas station market, has a flashback of her childhood/a sneak peek into her relationship with Ben, and cries herself to sleep *aw bb, it’s ok*.

- The next day, Anna stumbles across a herd who traps her on the roof of the market...all hope seems lost. Until gunshots from the city draw some of the herd away *aka Rick escaping the tank*. A storm rolls in, providing the small amount of water Anna needs to make it to the city. A car alarm sounds from the city shortly after, drawing more of the herd away *hm...whoever could that be? Possibly a cutie patootie driving a red sports car?...*

- Anna makes her escape and continues for Atlanta. She parks her truck and makes the trek to her brother’s apartment with no trouble. Once there, she finds a walker trapped in his bathroom, but luckily, it’s not Ben. She finds a note from him addressed to her saying that he left for Fort Benning after the city was overrun. Anna stays the night and decides to try for the army base next.

- Anna scavenges the following day, gathers supplies and heads back to her truck before nightfall. She runs into Rick’s group (leaving the city after trying to find Merle) attempting to hotwire her truck, has a not so pleasant reunion with Daryl, but decides to drive the group back to their camp *she owes Daryl, give her a break*.

- They return as the camp is getting overrun by walkers. Anna helps defend the quarry and saves Carl, almost dies, but *dun dun dun* is saved by Daryl once more.

- Rick offers Anna a place in the group but she’s set on searching for her brother and heading to Fort Benning. She’s still unsure why Daryl is being so cold to her.

- Stays one more night with the group, contemplating next move. Daryl gives Anna his dinner after she gave Sophia hers, only furthering Anna’s confusion regarding the archer. *make up your damn mind, Dixon!*

- Anna decides to join the group to the CDC. If CDC is a dead end, Rick promises they will try for Benning.

- Daryl is being a jerk face again and Anna is #overhimandhisissues.

- They make it to the CDC, meet Edwin Jenner, and have an interesting dinner. *group finds out Anna’s mom had cancer, but ultimately died from a walker bite*

- Everyone gets drunk *ayeee gettin’ crunk*

- Anna and Glenn bond while everyone else turns in for the night *supposedly* and she finds out more about the archer/Merle/what happened in Atlanta the day she ran into them.

- She learns that Daryl and Merle got into a huge fight/brawl and is pretty sure she’s the reason it started. Realizes that Daryl is a moody lil’ bitch because he blames her for the way things ended with him and Merle/the fight they had/the mean things he said to his brother.

- Shane pops up outta nowhere, all sorts of fucked up, and basically attacks Anna because he’s a horny lil’ psychopath. Daryl hears the struggle and yet again, *shocker* saves Anna.

- Daryl stays in Anna’s room *cue awkward tension* and she spills out some sort of apology *which Daryl ignores* instead bringing up the fact that she didn’t find her brother. She shares the note she found/her plan to head for Fort Benning. Daryl is like “psh, ya ain’t gon’ make it, ya dumb ho” and Anna’s like “psh, you’re so fuckin’ rude omg” and Daryl storms out and Anna’s all like “JUST BC U GAVE UP ON UR BROTHER DOESN’T MEAN I’M GIVING UP ON MINE” and Daryl’s like “ow...dat’s some cold shit” and leaves.

- Anna can’t sleep because GUILT. Anywho, the next morning everyone has breakfast together, Shane apologizes to Anna/threatens her to keep her mouth shut in the same breath.

- Then, cue the group trapped in the CDC/building about to explode.

- Group gets out, Anna’s a dumb lil ho and runs back inside for her backpack *LEAVE HER ALONE SHE COULDN’T LEAVE THE PICTURE OF HER AND BEN/HIS NOTE TO HER BEHIND*

- Anna almost dies, but whoohoo, she lives! Daryl runs back into the field and carries her semi-unconscious form away from the wreckage.

There. Now everyone’s caught up.

AND...HERE WE GO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously…

Black spots suddenly danced in Anna’s vision, her stomach rolling, her body’s aches and pains dulling as her legs began to give out, unable to keep up with the archer’s determined pace. She squeezed her eyes shut, her drooping head lolling against Daryl’s shoulder as the world began to fade.

The last thing Anna felt was the archer sliding his arm up her back, slipping it around her shoulders instead as his other arm cupped behind her kneecaps, swiftly swooping her off the ground.

And then everything went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now...

The desolate road spilled out before the caravan of survivors, its winding roads and towering trees seemingly endless. Abandoned cars littered the sides of the road, some doors till strewn open, others covered in blood and grime. There wasn’t another soul in sight — it was as though the entire world had been completely wiped clean, forced to begin again from scratch.

The survivors traveled along cascading backroads, steering clear of highways and more populated areas as they navigated out of the city and into the rural countrysides of Georgia with no set destination in mind.

Daryl lost track of how long the group had been driving, the minutes and hours seeping into one another as the sun reached its highest peak and began its slow descent. His hand rested lazily atop the steering wheel, the other resting on his thigh, fingertips drumming anxiously against his knee.

His mind had been ticking nonstop since the group had escaped the Center for Disease Control. The explosion had drawn in a massive herd, bigger than any horde Daryl had ever seen before. There hadn’t been time to reconvene, to figure out a different course of action, to make sure —

A soft whimper suddenly drew Daryl’s attention to the passenger seat, his gaze settling on her.

Anna Brooks.

The archer sighed, pulling his eyes away from her sleeping form, focusing back on the road ahead. He rested his elbow against the doorframe, the side of his thumb finding a home nestled between his teeth. He gnawed absently on the side of his thumbnail, his thoughts refusing to settle, his nerves standing on end.

In the midst of all the chaos, during the group’s last ditch effort to escape the impending blast, Daryl hadn’t even realized that Anna was no longer with the group. His jaw clenched, the backs of his teeth gnashing together — how could he not have realized?

He could still feel that pit in his stomach, the feeling of dread that’d shot through him when he’d spotted her climbing out of the CDC after Dale and Andrea. It felt as though all the air had been sucked from his lungs, leaving him paralyzed, only able to sit and watch as she ran for her life — and there hadn’t been a damn thing he could do about it.

The explosion had drawn in the dead, giving him no time to make sure she was uninjured, to make sure she was okay. He didn’t think, he didn’t hesitate — he just ran back for her, the heat from the blast surging over his exposed flesh as he spotted her trapped beneath an unmoving walker, her hammer lodged in its skull.

Although she’d been disoriented when he’d found her, unsteady and dazed as he’d pulled her to her feet, the most important thing was that she was okay.

So he’d carried Anna’s weakened form back to his truck as she drifted in and out of consciousness. And when Lori emerged from the RV, frantically motioning for him to leave Anna with her and the others before they departed, he blatantly ignored the offer — he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, for some reason. He had to keep an eye on her, had to make sure she kept herself out of trouble. The damn woman had run back into an imploding building — who the hell knows what else she’d do?

No. No, he needed to keep an eye on her. He didn’t trust anyone else to keep her alive. That was what this boiled down to. He didn’t trust anyone else to —

Daryl clenched his jaw, grip tightening around the steering wheel as he forced himself to focus — to get a fucking grip. What the hell had gotten into him? This wasn’t who he was. This wasn’t what he did. Everything had been so simple before — before losing Merle, before the CDC, before he met her. Over the course of the last few days, Anna Brooks had somehow managed to worm her way into the forefronts of his mind, had crawled her way beneath his skin, and now he couldn’t seem to quiet the demanding need to keep her alive.

What the hell had gotten into him?

Daryl still thought about that day back on the road — the day he first met her. She’d seemed so vulnerable, so terrified — cowering beneath Merle’s grasp, his knife pressed against the hollow of her throat, a small trail of blood seeping from her pierced flesh. It wasn’t the first time he’d walked in on Merle tormenting some poor unsuspecting victim — but there’d been something different about her. The moment her big, brown eyes locked with his, he found himself intervening before he could think twice. There hadn’t been a moment of hesitation when he pointed his crossbow at his brother’s head — not even a flinch.

And that is what had freaked him out the most.

He sometimes wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten involved that day. What would’ve happened to Anna? How far would his brother have gone? Merle had been out of control that day — had been for a long time before that too. The drugs hadn’t helped either, instead heightening his already brusque demeanor.

Merle hadn’t cared about anyone or anything — Daryl wasn’t even sure if his brother ever really cared about him. He knew that Merle’s inevitable downfall would happen from his own recklessness, his own actions and choices, and he’d been trying to prepare himself for life without his brother for a long time coming.

But in all the various ways Daryl had pictured his final moments with Merle, what he hadn’t expected was for there to be a brutal fight, a harsh exchanging of words, and an overwhelming swell of guilt vast enough to swallow him whole.

And it all came to a head after that day on the road.

The day he met her.

Daryl stormed through the growing underbrush of vines and leaves, stepping over an exposed root as he pushed forward, driven solely by frustration. He heard a sudden thud behind him, followed by a string of muttered curses, but still pushed forward, ignoring the racket.

“Damn roots be poppin’ up outta nowhere, swear ta’ Christ,” Merle’s gravelly voice echoed from behind.

The archer glanced over his shoulder, spotting Merle kneeling on the forest floor, grunting as he pushed himself back onto his feet. But Daryl didn’t slow his pace, didn’t respond, didn’t offer to help — nothing. He didn’t trust himself not to snap right now, the anger coursing through him growing with each step he took closer to camp, further away from the scared girl with big brown eyes and a beaten down pickup truck.

Daryl gnashed his teeth together, grip tightening around his crossbow. What a shit-fucking-day it had been. He’d volunteered to go hunting, to try and rile up some food for the group waiting back at the quarry. But then Merle had decided to tag along last minute, his brother itching to be out in the wilderness, away from the cautious eyes that watched his every move back at camp.

And it had all gone downhill from there.

Merle’s boisterous persona had done an outstanding job in alerting every living and nonliving thing within a mile of their approach, leaving the pair empty-handed by the end of their long day. Daryl’s frustration had only grown with each hour that passed, the thought of coming home with nothing forming a pit in his gut. The brothers were already on thin ice with the group, one wrong move away from being kicked out on their asses — no thanks to Merle, he might add.

They’d scoured the vast forest, waded through the babbling creek just a few miles from camp, and even checked out a couple cottages and sheds they’d randomly stumbled upon — but there’d been nothing, everything within a five-mile radius seemingly wiped clean.

“Mind slowin’ your roll there, baby bro?” Merle called after him, his voice becoming more and more distant with the increasing space Daryl was putting between them. “Ain’t the athlete I used ta’ be,” he snarked lightly.

Daryl rolled his eyes, although Merle couldn’t see from where he trailed behind him.

“Hey, what’s the fuckin’ dealio?” Merle snapped, his footsteps quickening. “Ya ain’t still pissed at me, are ya?” he pressed, an incredulous laugh booming from deep within his gut. “Aw, c’mon, Darlina —”

“Hey!” Daryl snapped, halting abruptly and turning on his heels, coming face to face with Merle, who’d finally caught up to him. “Ya gonna draw in every walker around if ya don’t shut your damn trap,” he hissed, eyes narrowed into slits, Merle’s jeering expression only angering him further.

“Ah, let ‘em come!” he scoffed, holding his arms out at his sides. “We can take ‘em, you an’ I!” he continued, the volume of his words increasing, echoing throughout the otherwise silent forest.

Daryl huffed a breath, shooting his brother a look of contempt as he turned on his heel and stormed forward, leaving Merle behind once more.

“Hey, what’s got your panties all up in a twist, huh?” Merle mocked, catching up and falling in step beside the archer. “This ain’t ‘bout that skirt from earlier, is it?” he accused tauntingly.

Daryl stiffened, his body going rigid at the mention of the girl from the road, but he refused to give his brother the satisfaction of a response.

Yet somehow, Merle knew he’d struck a chord, a lopsided sneer coming over his face as he nudged Daryl in the ribs with his elbow. “C’mon, is that it?” he teased, snickering softly. “Ya pissed at ol’ Merle for layin’ claim on the bitch ‘fore ya had the chance? Ya see, I knew ya was —”

“I said shut up, Merle!” Daryl suddenly growled, turning to shove his brother to the side, coming to a swift halt. “This ain’t ‘bout the damn girl. It’s ‘bout how ya can’t keep ya damn mouth shut, alright? Ya scared off any decent game we might’ve found out here — an’ now we’re goin’ back ta’ those people with jackshit!” he snarled, standing toe to toe with his brother, fighting off the urge to smack that arrogant look off his face.

“An’?” Merle shot back simply.

Daryl faltered, brows furrowing. “An’ what?”

“An’ that ain’t our problem, brother,” he scowled, some of the humor fading from his expression. “Ain’t our responsibility ta’ make sure those pricks don’t go hungry, am I right?”

Daryl scoffed, his brother’s selfishness not surprising in the slightest. “Ya know, maybe if ya spent a lil’ more time with your head out a’ your ass, we wouldn’t be in this fuckin’ mess ta’ begin with,” he spat, turning on his heel once more.

“My head spends jus’ the right amount a’ time in my ass, thank ya very much.”

“That you or the drugs talkin’? Hard ta’ tell the damn difference these days,” Daryl shot back over his shoulder before pressing forward.

“Yeah, yeah,” Merle called after him, following suit. “It’s medicinal — doctor prescribed an’ all!” he snarked.

Daryl exhaled heavily, prayed for strength, and pushed onward, suddenly hearing the soft murmur of voices growing from the approaching camp. He quickened his pace, hoping to be able to sneak back into his tent before anyone noticed his return. But much to his surprise, when the trees parted and the quarry came into view, he spotted the entire group sitting around the unlit fire pit in hushed conversation, all heads turning his way as he appeared.

Daryl paused, eyeing the group warily, feeling a pinprick of guilt hit him when most of their gazes traveled from his face, down to his empty hands, their hopeful expressions falling. The buzzing conversation quieted, a tangible disappointment spreading throughout the group as they realized that there would be yet another meager meal for dinner that night. The archer clenched his jaw, lowering his gaze slightly, feeling uncomfortable with all the sudden attention on him.

“Y’all miss me?” Merle’s voice suddenly boomed, breaking the quiet. Daryl glanced up at the group once more, noticing how almost everyone began either rolling their eyes or turning their gazes away, one person audibly groaning. Merle let out a low whistle. “Tough fuckin’ crowd,” he murmured as he moved to stand beside the archer.

Daryl watched as Shane leaned over to whisper something in Lori’s ear before he pushed up from his chair beside her and made his way towards the brothers, rubbing a hand roughly through his tousled hair. “Nothin’?” the officer asked softly, placing his hands on his hips, directing his question towards Daryl.

The archer merely shook his head once, readjusting the crossbow slung over his shoulder.

Shane muttered a curse under his breath, staring off into the trees behind the brothers. “Y'all were out there all damn day an’ ya didn’t find nothin’?” he pressed, his expression tense.

“Ya got fuckin’ eyes, don’t ya? What’s it look like?” Merle snapped, taking a small step towards Shane, drawing the man’s attention away from Daryl. “Ya think ya can do any better, how’s ‘bout ya get off your lazy ass an’ get out there yourself, Officer Asswipe,” he bit out challengingly, puffing his chest slightly.

Shane scoffed and for a moment, Daryl thought he was about to start swinging. But instead, he just shot Merle a dirty look and turned away, making his way back to the fire pit where Lori and Carl sat.

Merle suddenly clamped his hand down on Daryl’s shoulder, leaning in close. “Ain’t our responsibility, brother,” he rasped once more, tightening his grip as he lowered his voice further. “Don’t be forgettin’ why we’re here in the first place — why we been playin’ ‘nicey-nice’ with these fine folks all this time,” he whispered darkly.

Daryl glanced at his brother, the dangerous sneer on his face unsettling. Without another word, Merle huffed a laugh, clapped Daryl roughly on the back and pushed past him, making his way towards his own rickety tent.

Daryl watched his brother walk away, feeling the weight of his words spread like fire through his veins — he hadn’t forgotten why they were there. How could he? It’d been the only thing he could think about since they’d joined the group.

Merle had come up with the idea — of course it’d been his idea. And Daryl had just…gone along with it. He hadn’t protested, hadn’t tried to talk him out of it. He hadn’t even put up a fight.

Did that make him just as horrible as his brother? Or worse?

Daryl scanned the camp, his eyes lingering for a moment towards where Carl and Sophia sat, tucked underneath their mother’s sides, eyes wide and innocent as they quietly listened to the resuming chatter. These were decent people — good people. And he and his brother were going to rob them blind come the following night, leaving them defenseless against the looming threat of the dead.

Daryl grimaced.

Worse. It definitely made him worse.

But then suddenly out of nowhere, images of the girl from earlier flashed through his mind and he stilled. He wasn’t sure why or how she’d weaseled her way into the forefronts of his thoughts, but before he knew it, there she was. He could picture the distrust marring her tense expression, the look only fading after he’d proven to her he meant no harm. He saw the light that’d rekindled in her tiresome eyes after he’d successfully fixed her broken-down truck, the way her smile brought life to her whole face. He remembered the way her gaze softened as she thanked him, politely turning down his offer to join the group back at the quarry.

He’d felt like he’d finally done some good, like he’d done something that actually mattered for once in his life.

That was the type of man he was. Not…not this. Not some sorry sack of shit, blindly following his big brother’s destructive footsteps. That wasn’t who he was. And that wasn’t who he was going to be, damn it.

Feeling a new sense of resolve wash over him, Daryl straightened up and marched forward, searching for where his brother had wandered off to. It only took a few seconds before he found his brother lounging in a picnic chair outside his ramshackle tent, sharpening his hunting knife as he whistled softly.

Daryl saw a flash of that same knife being held to the girl’s throat earlier, but quickly pushed the image away, it only fueling his anger.

Merle glanced up at Daryl’s approach, giving him a quick once-over before he focused back on his weapon.

Daryl cleared his throat quietly, scanning the area to make sure there were no wandering eyes, no potential eavesdroppers. “Hey, we need ta’ talk,” he murmured lowly.

“So, talk,” Merle shot back gruffly, taking a moment to observe the knife’s sharpened edge, using his thumbnail to test the blade.

Daryl huffed a breath, growing more and more impatient towards his brother’s indifferent attitude. He quickly surveyed the campgrounds once more, double checking that this would be a private conversation. When the coast seemed clear, the archer crouched down in front of Merle. “Shit don’t feel right, man,” he rumbled, giving his brother a pointed look.

Merle suddenly scoffed, the corner of his mouth raising into a smirk. “That kinda sounds like a ‘you’ sorta problem, don’t ya think?”

“Nah, ya ain’t listenin’ ta’ me,” Daryl growled, his frustration mounting as he shot up to his feet. “We can’t do this — it ain’t right. They’ve — they’ve got kids here, ya know?” he pressed quietly, urging his brother to see reason.

But Merle simply stiffened, tucking his blade back into the holster of his jeans, regarding Daryl silently for a long moment. “So?” he finally rasped, face set in a stony expression as he folded his hands in front of him.

“So?” Daryl shot back incredulously.

“Ain’t on us if those lil’ shits starve, now is it?” Merle shrugged carelessly, no trace of humor in his gaze anymore. “We ain’t their daddies, are we?”

Daryl faltered, his response not entirely surprising but it did little to soothe his ever-present hostility.

“Don’t matter none,” Merle continued when Daryl remained silent, a hint of a sneer creeping across his face. “Ain’t like those Rugrats gonna last long enough ta’ starve ta’ death anyways,” he jeered, leaning coolly back in his chair, shrugging nonchalantly.

And Daryl had heard enough. Talking his brother out of an idea was like talking to a brick-fucking-wall. Merle could do whatever the hell he wanted — Daryl would have no part in it. So instead of playing into his brother’s antics and giving him the reaction he was poking for, Daryl turned on his heel and stormed away, muttering harshly beneath his breath.

But he’d only made it a few feet before Merle’s rasping voice stopped him dead in his tracks. “Ya got somethin’ ta’ say ta’ me, ya best be sayin’ it ta’ my face, lil’ brother,” he suddenly hollered and Daryl could hear the growing impatience in his voice. It was then that he realized that his brother’s shout had silenced every other conversation spread out amongst the camp, all eyes suddenly ping-ponging between the two brothers apprehensively.

Daryl clenched his jaw, turning around to find his brother now standing upright, his arms held out at his sides, clearly attempting to provoke him. But the younger brother remained steadfast, biting his tongue as he shot his brother a dark look.

“It seems ta’ me ya got an awful lot ta’ say, so why don’t ya go on an’ share with these fine folks,” Merle continued, egging him on, the sudden attention only stroking his massive ego as he turned to address the entire group, as if putting on a show. “My baby brother ain’t a man a’ many words — I’m sure y’all have caught on by now,” he placed a hand mockingly over his heart. “But my oh my, sure looks like there’s jus’ somethin’ real important an’ all that he needs ta’ get off his chest. Somethin’ he’s jus’ dyin’ ta’ share with y’all,” he finished boldly, motioning for Daryl to take over, his eyes challenging. “So, c’mon then, brother. Share with the class.”

Daryl’s gaze narrowed, feeling his blood begin to boil as he shot daggers in Merle’s direction, moments away from losing his composure.

“Let’s jus’ take it easy, alright?” Shane suddenly intervened, coming to stand between the brothers, holding his hands out. “Let’s jus’ be adults here, now,” he hissed quietly, giving each a stern look. “No need for this.”

“That’s right, Officer,” Merle quirked a brow. “That is exactly right,” he rasped, his words holding a heavier meaning as he leveled Daryl’s stare coldly.

“Alright boys, put your rulers away,” Lori suddenly chastised, coming to stand beside Shane, arms crossed over her chest, expression stern. “You’re scarin’ the children, now. Let’s just — let’s just start gettin’ dinner ready, alright?” she urged softly, hoping the brothers would hear reason and stand down.

But when neither of them spoke, each brother glaring at the other, eyes alight in some sort of silent struggle for power. “Enough,” Shane interjected once more, the tension radiating off the brother’s affecting the group as a whole. “I ain’t gonna ask either of ya again —”

“Alright, alright, relax cowboy,” Merle finally scoffed, waving Shane away. “Put a cork in it. We’ll play nice. No need ta’ get all dramatic, now.”

Shane shot Merle a dangerous look before he shook his head, running a hand over his face as he grabbed Lori’s elbow and gently pulled her away. Daryl remained unmoving, chest heaving as he waited for his brother to move first.

Merle whistled lowly, slowly turning on his heels, seeming like he was finally standing down. But then suddenly, he glanced at Daryl from over his shoulder, snickering softly. “Hey, ya think Officer Dickweed’ll let me borrow his handcuffs sometime? Jus’ in case I run into that piece a’ ass from earlier, ya know? I’d like ta’ be a lil’ more prepared next time,” he murmured lowly, an unsettling gleam in his eye.

And Daryl saw red.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself suddenly throwing his crossbow to the ground and launching himself at Merle, tackling his brother roughly to the ground. He heard vague shouts echoing from around him, could feel someone tugging on the back of his shirt, but all he could focus on was Merle’s taunting expression.

He was able to throw in one solid punch, feeling a swell of satisfaction as Merle’s head snapped to the side before he was yanked off his brother and hauled backward. Daryl struggled against the restraint, watching as Merle was pulled to his feet, Shane and Morales fighting to hold him back as well.

“Daryl, stop!” Glenn’s voice suddenly broke through the noise. “Just relax!” he urged, grunting as he and T-Dog struggled to hold the archer at bay.

“— let go a’ me, damn it!” Merle growled, his face twisted as he tried to wriggle free.

“Enough!”

“Break it up!”

“Shane —”

“Ain’t none a’ this concern none a’ y’all!” Merle snarled, still fighting against Shane and Morales, his eyes zeroed in on Daryl. “This between me an’ him,” he growled, jabbing a finger in the archer’s direction. “C’mon, Darlina — how’s about we settle this like men?”

“‘Well, what a’ sorry fuckin’ excuse for a ‘man’ ya are, then! Ya do nothin’ but shit for this group!” Daryl snarled back, all of his pent up rage spewing out of him. “Could’a done somethin’ useful today — but instead I find ya out there gettin’ high an’ doin’ some stupid shit ta’ an innocent girl, actin’ like a damn prick! Ya ain’t nothin’ but nothin’, Merle! Do ya get that by now? Huh?”

Merle movements stilled as he regarded his brother threateningly. “Ya best watch your mouth, boy,” he rasped darkly, his eyes narrowed as Shane and Morales slowly released him, still keeping him at arm's length. “Don’t be forgettin’ who you’re talkin’ ta’, now. Don’t be forgettin’ whose blood ya got runnin’ through ya. Ya don’t wanna go on an’ piss off the only family ya got left, the only family who ever watched out for ya an’ stood up for your pathetic punk ass!” he growled, the anger in his words growing.

Daryl scoffed, yanking out of Glenn and T-Dog’s grasp before marching over to where he’d thrown his crossbow down. He grabbed his weapon, ignoring the heavy silence that’d settled over the camp as he regarded his brother once more, feeling nothing but contempt. “Ya jus’ a fuckin’ waste a’ space,” he spat between heaving breaths, slinging his bow over his shoulder, the words feeling bitter on his tongue yet he couldn’t stop them from slipping through his lips. “A good-for-nothin’ addict — jus’ like dad.”

Daryl ignored the subtle flash of hurt that snaked its way across Merle’s face before his expression hardened. No one spoke, all eyes suddenly trained on him as the two brothers stared each other down once more.

Then, without another word, Daryl turned on his heels, shoved away the mounting swell of guilt that suddenly hit him, and stormed back into the darkened forest.

Daryl jolted back to reality, a metallic taste suddenly seeping across his tongue. He quickly pulled his thumb away from his teeth, noticing the blood now trickling down the side of his thumbnail. He sighed, wiping the blood away on his jeans as he focused back on the road.

Those were the last words he ever said to his brother. He hadn’t expected that fight to happen, hadn’t expected for those insults to come from his mouth, but Merle had always had a way of pushing him — and Daryl finally snapped.

But now his brother was gone and he’d never get the chance to mend things. His punishment for what he’d said was to wallow in the guilt that’d stay with him for the rest of his life — however short he had left, at least.

Another whimper drew his attention back to Anna and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Her brow was creased, lips turned down into a slight pout, eyes shut tight and crinkled around the edges. Sleep brought her no peace — she still looked just as weary, just as troubled, as she did when she was awake.

Daryl fought back the urge to reach out and wake her.

He sighed softly, forcing his eyes back on the road, away from the girl sleeping beside him.

When Daryl had found out what happened in Atlanta, that Merle had been left behind, handcuffed to the roof like a fucking animal, his first instinct was to lash out. That always seemed to be his first instinct for some reason. But he’d gone back for his brother — he’d made the trek back to that dead-ridden city to save him and what did his brother do? He cut off his own fucking hand instead.

Dumbass.

If Merle had just waited a little while longer, if he hadn’t been so damn impulsive —

Daryl grimaced. He’d seen some nasty shit in his life — but seeing his brother’s sawed-off, cold, limp, stump of a hand laying on that roof…well, that had to take the cake.

His stomach churned just thinking about it.

Still, his brother was tough — toughest son of a bitch Daryl had ever known. And he knew that Merle would never just roll over and give up…so the archer did what he did best and he tracked his ass.

And that had been a dead-fucking-end.

The only thing Daryl was sure of was that Merle had somehow made it out of the city alive. He had to have been the one who stole the truck that he, Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog had driven down to the railroad. It had to be him.

So now, Daryl was left to live with the unknown — the fate of his brother was something he’d wonder about until the day he died. Maybe Merle had succumbed to the effects of his injury, crashed the truck, and bled out somewhere on the road. Maybe he found his way back to the quarry and realized that the entire group had upped and left him, that his own brother had upped and left him. Maybe he’d made it somewhere safe, found a new shelter, a new group of people to take him in.

Daryl scoffed under his breath. Merle had a better shot of winning the fucking lottery than he did finding a group of people who’d put up with his bullshit.

Just because you gave up on your brother, doesn’t mean I’m giving up on mine.

His grip tightened around the steering wheel as Anna’s words echoed through his thoughts, their argument from last night settling like a pit in his stomach.

A fresh wave of fury washed over him as he remembered Anna’s desperate shouts, Shane’s greedy advances, and the blistering red heat that’d coursed through him when he came out of his room and saw her pinned up against that wall.

He could’ve killed Shane right then and there.

Daryl’s eyes darted up to the rearview mirror, spotting Shane driving his Jeep directly behind him in the caravan of vehicles, the man’s face twisted with tension, eyes narrowed as he stared straight ahead. But he must’ve felt the archer’s gaze on him because suddenly, his eyes flashed up to meet Daryl’s in the rearview mirror. The two held one another’s stare for a long moment before Shane finally looked away, letting his arm dangle outside the open window of his Jeep, his fingertips drumming against the door.

He should’ve killed Shane right then and there.

Anna shifted in the passenger seat, curling inwardly, arms wrapped around her middle as she tried to find comfort against the glass window she leaned against. After a moment, she sighed softly, her even breathing resuming as she settled against the door.

Daryl let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

He was hoping Rick would pull the RV over sooner rather than later for the group to reconvene, giving him a chance to escape the small confines of the car and the inevitable tension when Anna finally woke up. She’d tried to talk to him about what happened between them back at the CDC, but it hadn’t been the right time — it never seemed to be the right time.

So he’d brushed her off — but not for the reasons she probably thought.

As memories from the night before swarmed his vision, something suddenly made itself startlingly clear. The truth was, she’d been right — he had given up on his brother.

But not her — he hadn’t given up on her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N : Season 2 has begun!

We got to see a little flashback about that brutal fight Daryl and Merle got into, part of what has been fueling his hostility. As well as some of his conflicting thoughts. What’d you guys think of this chapter?

Next chapter will also be from Daryl’s POV -- we’ll be seeing a flashback of the night before and what exactly happened to Daryl after his and Anna’s argument. And then we will be switching back to dear Anna’s side of things.

I’m excited for what’s to come. Thank you to those who’ve stuck with me. I appreciate you all so so so much. If anyone is lost or has any questions, feel free to shoot me a message!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: 1. Are you still interested in me continuing this story? I understand if not because it’s been so long and I, myself, couldn’t even remember everything that’s happened. 2. Was Daryl right in what he said to Merle? Who’s side are you on?

Feedback is INCREDIBLY important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Let’s discuss and be friends!

If you want to be notified when I post again, let me know and I’ll add you to my tag list!

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snarky-sims-witch · 5 years

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Tips for The Sims Medieval

So I kind of accidentally started a Sims Medieval craze in the Sims Community Facebook group and I’ve seen a lot of people saying they have a hard time figuring out the mechanics of The Sims Medieval. They can’t keep their Heroes’ focus high enough to do well in quests.

I find it pretty easy, but I’ve spent a LOT of time playing this game and pretty much know all the little hacks and things that add up to make the game easier. I’ll be outlining some tips that help me finish every single quest at Platinum level, no matter which Hero I’m playing.

Focus, Focus, Focus!

Unlike your Sims’ moods in The Sims 3, focus in The Sims Medieval is essential for success. Everything depends on having a high focus. High focus will boost quest performance and make your Heroes more likely to succeed at their jobs and quest steps. Low focus will tank quest performance and can even get your Heroes killed if they attempt to do something dangerous with low focus (like hunting or fighting).

Always always always maintain your Heroes’ focus. You always want it in the green, but the higher, the better.

Easy Ways to Boost Focus

Stay well rested and full. Simple enough. Energy and Hunger are the only two motives your Sims need to take care of, so it’s not hard to keep these motives satisfied.

DON’T TOUCH THAT GRUEL! Sims can cook gruel without needing any ingredients but it slaps them with a negative focus buff. Eating literally anything else will provide a positive focus buff, instead. The more complex meals requiring lots of rare ingredients provide the best focus buffs but your Sims don’t always have time to cook such an elaborate spread. Instead, hit up the local merchant’s stalls, or head to the Village Shoppe to purchase some basic cooking ingredients. Pigeon, turnips, and onions are all cheap ingredients that can be used in the easiest recipes. Your focus meter will thank you for not eating gruel.

A little TLC goes a long way. While your Sims don’t have a Hygiene or Bladder motive, taking baths, using the chamber pot, and washing up in the wash basin still give your Heroes positive buffs that increase focus. Warming your hands at a cooking fire and gussying up in a mirror also provide small focus boosts. Don’t overlook these little tasks when your Heroes get up in the morning. They all add up!

Don’t neglect your responsibilities. Finishing your daily responsibilities is the easiest way to give your Heroes a huge focus boost. Finishing both responsibilities will add +40 focus. Add that with all the tips mentioned above and your Heroes will have maxed out focus meters for most of the day with little trouble. Neglecting Responsibilities will saddle your Heroes with big negative focus penalties which you want to avoid at all costs.

Don’t be afraid to stray off the quest path sometimes. Things like making friends, courting a new love, getting married, and having children provide Heroes with massive focus boosts! Just having a baby will add +80 to your focus alone. It pays to take a break from questing now and then to live a little.

Play to your Heroes’ strengths. Every Hero has two traits and a fatal flaw. This means every Hero is different and excels in different areas. If you have an Unkempt Hero, keep them away from wash basins and baths. The more disgusting they smell, the happier they are which will boost their focus. If your Sim is Solitary or a Misanthrope, try to have them avoid other people as much as possible. They’re only happy and focused when being left alone. If your Hero is a Drunkard, consider stocking up on barley as well as cheap food ingredients. They’ll have to drink a lot to stay focused, so they might as well get an extra positive buff from drinking barley ale instead of the musty basic ale that requires no ingredients.

Match up professions and traits. A Merchant probably shouldn’t have the Misanthrope fatal flaw because they’ll need to be around people constantly to sell their merchandise. A knight shouldn’t have the Puny or Weak Constitution fatal flaws, either. Make sure you’re setting your Heroes up for success by giving them the right traits for their profession.

Getting Platinum Every Time

There’s really only one trick to this and it might be shocking to hear because it sounds counter-intuitive, but... finish your quests as slowly as you possibly can.

No, I’m not kidding.

When you plough your way through quests really fast, the performance meter has less time to fill up, which means you’ll miss out on the chance to finish a quest at platinum. Yes, there is a penalty for falling behind on your quests and you don’t want that, either. It’s a balancing act. Here’s how I platinum every quest:

When you first start a quest, ignore it. Instead, work on building and maintaining high focus. This strategy only works if your focus meter is high enough to keep your quest performance improving. Ideally, you want to be at gold level before you start the quest at all, but that might not always be possible.

Keep an eye on your buffs. When you get the Falling Behind on Quest buff with an icon of a trophy and one X, that’s when you need to start the quest. Do one quest step to get rid of that buff.

Then derp around maintaining your focus and ignoring the quest until you see that same buff again, then do another quest step.

Repeat this process of doing just enough quest steps to get rid of the Falling Behind on Quest buff, then ignoring the quest in favour of focus-boosting activities until you see the buff again.

Keep up this cycle until you hit Platinum. Once you’re at Platinum, then you can rush through the rest of the quest as fast as possible. You want to finish it fast before the quest performance has a chance to degrade if your focus drops for whatever reason.

Ta-da! Platinum level quest completion!

Profession-Specific Tips

Each Hero’s profession provides them with their own set of perks/drawbacks. It’s beneficial to know how to make the most of each Hero’s profession. I won’t be going over every profession here, as some are more straight forward to play than others, but here are a few handy tips I’ve picked up for some of the professions:

Your Physician will often get the Responsibility to craft and deliver Citrus Infusions and Rum Tonics. These require ingredients from the Village Shoppe. It can be really time consuming having to run to the village every day to get these ingredients on a time crunch. It’s a good idea to visit the Village Shoppe once a day even when you don’t have to so you can stock up on citrus fruit, honey, and apples. That way, you’ll have them on-hand when you actually need them to craft your tonics. If you have a Merchant Hero in your kingdom, check there first. It’s not as long a walk and the Merchant sometimes has those ingredients for cheaper.

The Merchant has some of the most time-consuming Responsibilities out of all the professions. They often have to travel to foreign lands with cargo to trade. This can easily take up an entire day. They also need to investigate the day’s hot items at the Village Shoppe, buy them, then sell them at a higher price in their own market stall. To save time, buy barley and mushrooms in bulk. Crafthole trades wood for mushrooms, and Tredony trades gems for barley. It’ll save you a trip to the Village Shoppe when you need to sail abroad. On days when you need to buy and resell hot items, don’t go overboard. Buy only 1 or 2 of the most expensive hot item and a maximum of 3-5 of the cheaper items. You need to resell your stock that day to make a good profit, so don’t buy more than what you’re confident you can sell that same day.

Wondering why the Wizard doesn’t have a bed in their tower? The Wizard doesn’t need to sleep! They meditate to recover energy, instead! Just click on your Wizard and select Meditate whenever they need a rest.

Peteran Priests and Jacoban Priests get focus boosts from Praying and Reflecting on the Watcher! It’s an easy way to keep your Priest’s focus meter in the green when you’re strapped for time. All professions that can harvest from plants get small focus boosts from successfully gathering herbs/plants as well.

And that’s it for now! If I think of more stuff, I’ll add it. Go forth and get medieval!

#simblr #the sims medieval #tsm #tips and tricks #strategies & tips

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gentleladyaims · 5 years

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The Farewell: An In-Depth Reflection

I was not emotionally prepared to watch this movie- I packed some tissues in my purse as always (as I am apt to shed tears over most movies- I just get super emotional!), but it was nowhere near enough. I was literally biting my tongue and trying not to sob out loud and looked like a wet blob in the theatre with tears streaming down my face!! My husband was like "Honey, are you okay?? Let me give you a hug!!"

As a young Chinese-American woman, I’ve never watched a movie that hit so close to home and felt so… relevant? I feel so seen and acknowledged seeing this story play out on the big screen. Fsor a Chinese-American woman like Lulu Wang to direct the movie I grew up in Beijing with my grandparents; my parents came to the U.S. right after I was born when my dad got an amazing scholarship to Duke. As a result, I’m super close with my grandparents and they basically raised me and instilled in me the morals/values I have today. I came to the U.S. for the first time when I was three (briefly), then permanently moved to the States when I was six. It was jarring, an entirely new environment, having to learn a foreign language, leaving the comforts of my home behind. Thankfully, my grandma came with us to leave for awhile, but my grandpa stayed back in Beijing. I missed him so much every single day. As I grew up, I’d visit my grandparents back in Beijing almost every single summer and spend my entire vacation with them. I cherish those moments so much.

All the little details in “The Farewell” are so genuine and realistic to how Chinese culture actually is. Of course, no movie is representative of everyone’s experience, however, many facets of it were reflective of my own life.

How Billi's mom seems to be very critical of her life decisions, especially regarding her career, and being snarky/making fun of Billi for pursuing an artistic path with writing. How Nai Nai is so affectionate with Billi (the opening scene when they're on the phone and she asks Billi how the weather is and if Billi's wearing a hat etc is soo hilarious and true!! My grandma always asks that and tells me "Bundle up, don't get a cold now!") and makes the funny comments about her round butt. Even the little nuance of her commenting on Billi's weight and how she doesn't seem to have lost much weight, in comparison with what Billi's mom said (a lot of Chinese people/family always seem to make unsolicited comments about people's figures/weight and just will straight up say "you're fat!" or "OMG you're too skinny!!" it's a hard dichotomy to walk and it seems no one is happy either way). When Billi gets to the hotel and the hotel clerk is asking her which is better, China or America? *Literally* I get asked that question every. single. time. and my response is the same as Billi's- "It's different!" It's like comparing bananas and chicken. Both have their pros and cons, but it seems like they're always expecting you to say one or the other. Some of my relatives definitely idealise the West/America and seem to think everyone in the U.S. is: rich, blond, gorgeous like a movie star, and happy.

The family style meals and the food!! Sooo realistic. Also how Mr. Li pours the boiling water for Nai Nai's hot water soak for her feet. I want to make a note that even the fashion/style is pretty accurate too- my grandpa totally wore the same tank top and high-waisted pants and slippers like Mr. Li, haha. Watching this movie gave me such a feeling of familiarity and belonging, like "wow, someone actually knows how it feels to be in a Chinese family and can identify with these things!!" I cried so hard when Billi had her big breakthrough moment with her mom, confessing that she never felt like she was good enough/that it was hard for her to adjust to life in America. That she felt home with her grandparents. The way her dad asks her questions like "how's your job? do you have enough money?" and little things about her daily life and Billi just brushes him off and says everything's fine. I feel that hardcore because especially when I was younger, I'd just say everything's fine to my parents as to not worry them. Why mention it if they're just going to be fearful/scared/worried/anxious? I'm learning to be more honest and open now- working on developing better communication skills is a major theme in my family (between my mom and dad too).

The comparisons between the East and the West also felt true to life. How Billi's uncle mentions the West values individualism whereas the East values community/the family unit more. I often feel struggles within myself about wanting to be a good daughter and be obedient to my parents versus my own desires and pursuing things I would like, even though it may not be things my parents want for me. I've learned that being a good daughter doesn't always equate to doing what my parents want. I've had to learn to fight for and seek out my independence and find my own self-identity, not just what my family thinks I should be/should do. I feel like in Chinese culture, the elders' opinions are always respected and thought of highly- my mom says "I've crossed these paths of life before, I have more experience/knowledge than you, I know best- just trust me." And it's like... "Yes Mom, sure that may be true, but also I need to make my own decision? And just because you've had a certain experience, doesn't mean it's true for my current life situation?" I'm also careful to tell my parents that I always respect their input, but that just because I don't follow their advice, doesn't mean I don't love them or value their opinion!!! It's been a tough thing for them (more so my mom) to grasp, but I'm glad I'm doing it, despite it being challenging.

The parts of the movie that hit me the most are Billi's moments with her grandma. And also how she has to process this huge emotional burden and her grief. I share a somewhat similar experience, but am SO happy that my grandparents didn't choose to hide anything from me. I don't know if I could've forgiven them if they did... who knows? I found out during my junior year of college that my grandpa had late-stage lymphoma. It had already progressed into his bone marrow and he was in a lot of pain- it also affect some of his mental function and cognition, unfortunately. My parents and I booked tickets right away to see him in Beijing. It was so hard to try and be positive in front of my grandma and not just cry all the time. We were reunited under the worst of circumstances- but at least we could be open about our struggles and endure it together. I couldn't imagine if it was a huge secret and I had to bear it like Billi did. The ending where Billi has to say goodbye to her grandma hit me so hard- like that is literally me every time I have to bid farewell to my Lao Lao. I try to hold in the tears until I get to the taxi and then I just break down. Even though my grandma doesn't have a terminal illness, it's just... the trip between the U.S. and China is a long and arduous one and it's hard being so far away from family, separated by miles and miles and oceans.

My heart ached for my grandpa after watching the movie. When Nai Nai was standing at her husband's grave and lamenting how he passed too soon... that's exactly what my grandma says. She's sad that my grandpa didn't get to see me graduate college, get married, get a job, etc. I will always miss my grandpa, but it's comforting to know that I got to spend my time with him at the end and that we were together, as a family.

Did anyone else feel a particular pull to this movie?? I'd love to hear thoughts, comments, etc!!

#The Farewell #movies #personal #Awkwafina

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followthebluebell · 5 years

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It took me a minute to realize the "fire at cricket ranch" article was real bc it deadass looks like an onion article

You know, this isn’t the first time the reptile community has seen a US-wide cricket problem. In 2010, a particularly nasty cricket virus hit the US and completely fucking destroyed the cricket breeding economy. I’m not even exaggerating it here. A species of cricket (the brown house cricket, Acheta domesticus) barely even fucking exists in the US as a result of this virus.

This had some pretty weird effects: pet stores started selling an entirely different species as feeders. Instead of A. domesticus, stores sold the Jamaican field cricket (Gryllus assimilis), because it’s immune to this particular virus. THIS in turn led to a surprising number of reptile deaths. See, as a hobby, we were all used to dropping feeders in the tank and leaving them. With A. domesticus, this wasn’t a HUGE deal. Like, the brown cricket might bite a reptile but they wouldn’t do a lot of damage.

But G. assimilis is a fucking BEAST. It’s much more aggressive and highly carnivorous. A lot of keepers woke up to dead and partially eaten pets because they didn’t know there was a difference in the species. Now G. assimilis is the only species sold and it’s VERY common knowledge that you remove uneaten feeder insects.

BUT WAIT. There’s more! Since A. domesticus is now functionally extinct in the US, the entomophagy (bug-eating) push is at a major slow down. See, A. domesticus is the only species people are legally allowed to commercially produce. People literally can’t raise any other species. So now we gotta import cricket flour and things from elsewhere, which is really expensive.

BUT WAIT. THERE’S STILL MORE. This also had a huge impact on the sciences, since A. domesticus was a fairly popular test subject. It was easy to raise, relatively easy to breed, and had quick generations. So like... now those studies are basically useless since we can’t replicate the results.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me talk about cricket viruses, reptile keeping, and weird causes and effects.

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finca-arcoiris-sin-fin · 4 years

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Pura Vida Adventures: A True Story About a Day in the Life

Many people here are true odd-balls. We assumed that we would stick out like two sore thumbs in this small, rural community -- that the people would think we were super weird with our grungy-unabashed hippie gayness -- but we were kind of wrong. People don’t judge us or find us weird because everybody is a rare creature in this community. They are mega hipsters (the Latin American version) without even knowing they’re cool. The most memorable and interesting person we’ve met yet appeared in our life about two weeks ago. He is an extraordinary coffee farmer and tinkerer from Northern Costa Rica named Manuel (pictured above, left). He had been referenced to us several times by our helpful neighbor, Don Juan (pictured above, right), as “the ariete man.” Arietes are amazing old-fashioned machines that use a series of hoses and tubing to redirect natural sources of water to wherever it is needed, often pumping it hundreds of meters up a mountain, all without using any electricity. They told us that he could help us become water self-sufficient, but they did not tell us what a cartoon character he is…

Last week, we went to visit Manuel’s farm, which is close to ours and we arrived to find that his driveway consists of miles of rocky road carved into the side of a mountain. Thankfully our newly-acquired vehicle is 4x4 and just high enough off the ground to handle this boulderous and uneven terrain. As we bounced along in our Tracker, we tried not to acknowledge how utterly impossible it would be to turn back should the need arise...and just enjoy the beautiful scenery of La Amistad National Forest and Volcan Baru in the distance. Our grandpa-neighbor Juan was chillin’ in the backseat verbally processing the crazy ride we were on.

When driving or riding in buses it’s always reassuring to have locals around because they are accustomed to the insanity of the road conditions. They are a thermostat for actual danger on the road.

When we pulled up to the main gate of Manuel’s 500 acre farm, we waited for a while, unsure if he was even aware that we were there. We took the time to check and make sure nothing broke off of the car on the journey, but within minutes he appeared on his moto to let us in. We could feel the buzz of energy and excitement immediately. Manuel was JAZZED to show us his farm. From those first moments we knew that this tour was going to be a way bigger thing than we had anticipated waking up that Sunday morning. He started by showing us his coffee drying area. The harsh midday sun was beaming down and glaring off of ten or more giant wooden-framed boxes covered in fabric and filled with drying coffee cherries. There he literally screamed from the mountaintop about his passion for growing coffee and using the four elements of nature to run his plantation -- earth, water, wind and sun. The intense energy radiating from the sun and Manuel’s spirit made for an abrasive but fascinating start to the experience. After that we drove through pathways lined with luscious vetiver to Manuel’s work shed to learn about the innovative technology he worked with. His shed was dark and cluttered with all kinds of machine components and other odds and ends. Even inside that small space, standing only inches away from each other, Manuel’s surprisingly high-pitched voice ranged from loud to louder as he explained in great detail the different types of arietes he has utilized to irrigate his entire property. He has three different pumps made from 50-year-old parts that he somehow acquired from Germany and England.

We still have a lot of questions - probably always will...

After that, we took a lunch stop at his house, as is customary whenever a Tico family invites you to their farm. We were seated at a small booth table with a white tablecloth outside of a wonky-looking little cabin. Through the open windows we could see that the house was not much different inside than his eclectic work sheds. Outside there were various plants and succulents suspended from the awning in planters made from old, plastic soda bottles and jugs. Everything was adorably handcrafted from reused and repurposed materials. There were also a few awkwardly quiet young men staring off into space on the porch who never spoke to us and were never introduced. Manuel’s wife promptly popped out of the house with fresh-squeezed lemonade and lunged down three hilariously oversized concrete steps at the front door to serve it to us. We looked at each other and giggled because at this point we felt like we were straight-up trippin’. Everything was so overwhelming and funny. Our hosts did not eat with us. While Manuel’s wife waited on us like a pro, he was busy showing us fancy framed photos of himself on huge horses and rattling off stories at 1000 words per minute.

After lunch the tour resumed. Manuel guided us on a 300 meter descent into the jungle at the edge of the pasture. He told us to be careful as we climbed down the steep slope to the river where he basically said that the temperature would suddenly drop and that we could fall off the edge to our death at any moment. As we neared the bottom, the rhythmic sound of the pumps got louder and louder. He had built a series of concrete tanks and used various hoses and pipes to store and redirect the water from the stream into the ariete which would pump aka “shoot” the water hundreds of meters back up the mountain. As he showed us the first ariete, we realized that it functions like a heart. Using only the momentum and pressure that gravity lends, it continuously pumps water up from the ravine back up to the top of the property so that it can be distributed throughout the farm. Every time we thought we had seen everything, he would take us further in our descent. We wish we had pictures to show because there is not enough time to describe all the crazy mechanisms he had crafted down there. At one point we found ourselves scaling down a ledge on a narrow, vertical hand-made ladder of rebar with the river flowing below us. We nervously watched as our 80 year old friend, Juan followed us down the ladder without hesitation. Every step of the way, Manuel was telling us so many random stories in high-speed Spanish we could not keep up with what was going on. It was endearing at first, but he never stopped. Eventually it became stressful and we wondered if he would even have a voice the next day…

The final stop on the river was a breathtakingly beautiful jungle spot. There he showed us the last ariete (which supplied water to his house) and also a giant rock with an impossibly flat underside that he said was an ancient, overturned sacrificial table made by the indigenous people long ago. Considering that this area of Costa Rica has more indigenous people and artifacts than any other region, we believe him.

He told us that he never goes to that area too late in the afternoon because one time he did, and a spirit appeared and violently shook all the trees as if an earthquake was happening yet no rocks were moving, making it clear that he was not welcomed there at that moment. At that point we thought surely the tour was over (it was definitely the climax), but about an hour later we found ourselves at the top of the mountain about to pass out from being talked at all day. We didn’t want to be rude, but we simply could not take any more talking--we HAD to get out. Manuel was not picking up on our body language either. As we got in our car we shook hands, expressed deep gratitude for his time and energy and made plans for him to come assess the natural water sources on our farm so that we could implement an ariete here also! A week later he showed up at our farm (of course with no warning) to check it out, and hopefully by next month we will be using all of our own water for our house and the farm!

This is just an extreme example of the type of crazy adventure we have to be prepared to roll with on almost any given day down here. It may not be what we had in mind for the day, it may be exhausting and overwhelming...but the payoff in knowledge, friendships and sweet perks is always more than worth it.

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countjason · 4 years

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Jason’s 9th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

It’s that time of year again, the only reason I have a tumblr account is this annual reflection and goal setting exercise I do each year. This represents the 9th year I’ve done this in some form or fashion so let’s kick off the goals from last year and where I stand:

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job. If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general. I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old. I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.

(Accomplished) – As I recall, this was 90% expected to be achieved at the time I wrote last year’s goals since I was actively looking but this happened REALLY early in 2019. I remember trying to get a raise as a program manager at Aero Simulation Inc after being a project scheduler (most…boring…job…ever!) and being told I need at least 10 years’ experience in the simulation industry before even being considered. They handed me an annual raise, sent me off on the 2-week shutdown vacation and the wife and I went to Ashville.

Upon my return, I got notified that I was hired to start at Smartronix – this hands down was the best timing and possibly the best move I have ever made. I’m so happy working at Smartronix and working as a real program manager after what felt like an eternity working at places and either doing lesser jobs, jobs I didn’t have any interest in doing all for the sake of paying for my family, being bored to tears, or underappreciated and under paid.

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas. I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see. I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad. Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talladega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

(Accomplished) – I did go on the cruise and that was fun. It would have been better with the drink package which is just a lesson’s learned for cruising next time but it was a fun experience considering I missed cruises in the past. I did not go to Vegas and that’s still a hard sell with my wife considering she doesn’t want to go as much as I do. Maybe I can convince her one day considering all the other vacations we’ve had that were compromises.

Bristol was everything I expected and more.

Adam told me that Dad wasn’t doing so well and this race, in all likelihood, represents the last race I go with Dad. So for this, I booked suites which was the best! I think Dad and Adam were happy.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019. I gotta wait until money isn’t so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I’d like to get started in that.

(Failed) – This goal trailed off early after it became apparent I had to still pay for Caitlin’s school. Now, to be clear, that’s not the only reason, I was sorta going down the DBA route at first because it was something to do since I was getting bored but may get at it again in the future just not now. I don’t really have a pressing reason for a DBA career wise and there are other fish I could fry which I’ll discuss shortly but let’s put it this way, what I am about to do to cure my boredom is not something my wife is thrilled about….

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don’t really relate to now. I’m simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don’t relate. Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable. I mean it can’t get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email. Even if it’s not “work” friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not. That’s why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

(Failed) – I wouldn’t say I gained more friends. I have the same friends as I previously did and while I get along with people I work with, I wouldn’t go so far as considering them “friends”

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me. I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me. Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun. I really don’t have that same motivation these days. I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too. I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I’ll find that extra gas in the tank and while I’ve accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.

(Not accomplished but not failed) – I would say it’s improving. Since the wife got pregnant and she had to stop drinking, to support her, I did the same and already lost 20 lbs. I’m pretty sure the rate I’m going I’ll lose another 20lbs by May so while my health improved, early this year, I really didn’t try that hard and my weight reached a point where I started to become self-conscience. This goal always ends up on my list and will likely again.

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money. To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more. I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.

(Accomplished) – The new job helped out SIGNIFANTLY! I finally am getting paid what I’m deserved and as such, I feel much better financially. I still have some debt to pay off and Caitlin is STILL in school but overall, this goal has moved rather well for the things I can do and control.

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day. Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway. Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.

(Failed but…) – With the new job and it being in Tampa, I did not move. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate the “hot, humid, high of 100” every day but the current salary and baby situation (more on that), changes things a lot.

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that. She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping. I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

(Accomplished…I guess) – Depends on who you ask. While I did try to help her study from time to time, it wasn’t consistent and it really was something Caitlin should address more than me. With drinking and the baby, I stopped drinking, as I said, to support and help and I think that’s helping her as well.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now. This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol. It’s just too expensive to not.

(Failed) – I play it but I haven’t played it like I think I meant to with this goal in mind. I did get bored with some of it but not for the lack of desire to race, on the contrary, it made me want to race for real.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.

This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other. I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move. We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

(Accomplished) – I did complete the floor in the man cave and the bedroom.

***

Now for 2020 goals and this one has significantly different legs than the last couple years.

Be a good dad – That’s right all, after 38 years of life, the wife and I decided to become parents.

At the time of writing this, my wife is 10 weeks pregnant and we’re expecting “baby bat” in July 2020. We won’t know gender until later but we’ve already started thinking about names (Dante if it’s a boy or Nadja if it’s a girl). I hope that regardless, we can do this which I think we will. We’re currently planning on converting the library (Caitlin’s space) into the baby room and starting initial baby stuff now.

Begin my race car career – wait what? That’s right, after playing iracing for awhile and getting a decent raise at work, I decided to purchase a Legends car and will start my racing career in early 2020. I started “Head2Bed Racing” as the name of the race “team” in honor of Dad and I look for this to be my new hobby/equivalent to a bowling league.

youtube

http://head2bedracing.com/index.html

My goal is to be in the top 10 in points at season conclusion. I don’t have a goal to win just yet, I’m more concerned with racing and keeping the car under me. I would hate to damage the car to the point that would end my racing for a while. I already know I won’t be able to make all the races scheduled and I don’t know how I’m going to drag my wife into this (I hope she does and doesn’t want to leave me – lol). Wish me luck.

Vacation – This is ambiguous. I don’t have hard plans just yet but I know my window of reasonable opportunity is closing fast with a baby on the way. I need to talk to Caitlin about this one more but I’d like to find something we can do either before she gets too big and becomes the boulder from Indian Jones...

or, if we can pawn the baby to one of our parents, do something post pregnancy. Caitlin’s mom probably wouldn’t mind the later.

Health – The goal for 2020 given the wife is pregnant and not drinking is get my weight to 225 lbs. This is for a few reasons – 1) I looked pretty okay at that weight looking at older pictures 2) That will inevitably have impact to racing a Legends Car as my parents so kindly pointed out 3) It’s a reasonable goal that I should be able to accomplish relatively early in 2020.

Professional Development – I state it like that because I don’t exactly know the exact goal to accomplish this. I don’t want to restart the doctorate program just yet, I don’t know if I’m eligible for the PgMP certificate yet and even if I was, I haven’t committed myself to studying to the level I need to and even if I got it, I don’t know the career impact. I’ll leave this open ended for now and see what I have to say next year.

Pay off Debt – With the new job, I “should” be able to clear off a lot of debt. This will help in the goal later in getting Caitlin a new car and a new house before the kid hits 3 years old.

Friends (again) – I would like to find more friends. This, in theory, should occur because of the phases in life after getting out of the Navy. The first phase was my hair-on-fire party all the time phase. That ended shortly after settling down with Caitlin. Then there was the “retirement” period (I don’t know what to call it) where I stopped going out and the friends I did have before sorta just went away so it was just myself and Caitlin. With me getting a new hobby here in actual racing, I’m hoping to meet friends that way and with the kid, we may somehow meet other parents and meet people that way too. Bottom line, I need to be better at these whole “friends” thing.

I normally try to shoot for 10 but I’m coming up short and I don’t want to set goals for the sake of setting goals. I already failed several last year so if I focus on what I have coming, I’ll be better suited to accomplish the goals. So here we go, 2020…another decade. Let’s do this!

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f1g · 5 years

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this a compilation of all of the moments in the dr.STONE manga that senku and gen share together! they're sorted in order by chapter, and they include descriptions and links to the panels. at the end, there's a section with some random fun facts/crumbs/observations that don't quite fit into the main list that are nice to know. many thanks to ukyoxchrome for helping assemble this list! now let us proceed under the cut to contemplate why exactly they are boyfriends and how cute they are... (as one would expect there are major manga spoilers throughout this whole post so read at your own risk)

Chapter 12 - gen first appears on the psychology book cover in a flashback! senku proceeds to stomp all over his quiz

Chapter 23 - gen introduced in the flesh when he arrives at ishigami village and asserts his status as resident cola man. senku recognizes him from way back when (omg) and calls his book trashy and we get these panels of gen being a sad ferret

Chapter 24 - senku calls gen a “capable fake magician”, gen is impressed by senku making a generator

Chapter 25 - in order to help senku with his generator for the first time gen works his psychology stuff to manipulate someone (kinrou and ginrou) into achieving one of senku’s goals

Chapter 26 - first big sengen moment. gen gets beaten up by magma, senku and gen have, uh, this moment i'll let the pictures speak for themselves. the tenderness... the intimacy. god

Chapter 38 - gen returns during the tournament, senku and gen team up so that chrome can burn magma

Chapter 40 - also a huge chapter for sengen. gen blushing and being tsundere while thinking about senku, some banter between them, and FINALLY colaman gets his cola oh my god look how happy he is

Chapter 46 - teaming up against hyouga and co look at their faces at the end ahh and also gen being cute and waving back while he returns to tsukasa

Chapter 47 - senku makes a katana, something gen suggested in chapter 24

Chapter 48 - gen officially defects to senku's side and at the end of the chapter there’s a cute drawing of gen and senku wielding katanas together

Chapter 51 - senku makes cotton candy, gen wants to taste it. also, a gay-coding moment where we are yet again reaffirmed that senku is not interested in girls

Chapter 53 - gen calls senku cool, and is impressed by senku’s light bulb. senku and gen stand by the christmas tree and gen realizes it’s christmas

Chapter 54 - gen invites senku to see the new year’s day first sunrise with everyone and asks senku how many days he has lived, which leads to the birthday party.

Chapter 55 - gen starts planning for the birthday party

Chapter 56 - gen's surprise birthday party! gen says he liked senku before he met him! gen uses “好き” which can be used in confessions in japanese!!!!! best chapter.

Chapter 57 - senku drags gen by his hood into the lab and gen doesn’t understand anything. senku tells gen he expected him to be smarter lol

Chapter 59 - gen remembering senku's birthday again and figuring out that they should go visit byakuya's grave

Chapter 60 - senku is looking through his telescope and he can literally sense that it’s gen at his door oh my he is so gay… then a total hell yeah motherfucker moment

Chapter 61 - senku and gen talk alone together for a bit until chrome busts in. senku says that gen’s lillian impression is good. epic brofist ensues

Chapter 63 - gen and senku communicate with each other via morse code. it is revealed in the volume 8 bonus content that senku taught it to gen himself TT_TT

Chapter 65 - gen escapes from ukyo and RUNS back to senku. just before, senku thinks “if gen doesn’t come back before then, it’s game over” he doesn’t even mention chrome or magma haha

Chapter 66 - popularity poll results are out, gen is in third place and senku is in first place, they appear in a color page together (with kohaku in second place). gen and senku make the phone call to convince nikki to join senku’s side, bantz ensue idk

Chapter 67 - senku and gen wear modern japanese school uniforms while nikki is yelling at them in this gag, very cute. Gen is surprised by senku wanting to build a car. also in one translation senku says “stan” and gen says “yikes”

Chapter 68 - gen notes how excited senku and his pals are over building a car several times

Chapter 70 - cover page has senku riding the tank and gen inside it. gen is impressed by the paper that senku made

Chapter 73 - gen and senku team up as lillian weinberg and sebastian the interpreter. gen calls senku “senku-kun” (the only time he has used an honorific that wasn’t “-chan” for someone)

Chapter 74 - gen cries because senku doesn’t know how to negotiate with people

Chapter 75 - senku and gen are in the tank together while they take over the cave of miracles

Chapter 76 - gen calls senku “hella prepared”

Chapter 77 - Senku and Gen try to make a weapon to defeat tsukasa. Gen touches snake shit for senku. (kat’s note: That is real love lol)

Chapter 82 - gen mirin senku’s medical adhesive making

Chapter 84 - ukyo talks to gen about his decision to defect from tsukasa, gen stares wistfully into the distance and says “senku, huh…”. really makes you think pic (kat’s note: HE LITERALLY SAID “SENKU” FOR NO REASON OH MY HE IS SO GAY) (macklemore’s note: in the pic it’s a little different as it’s a different translation but in the viz one he does in fact say “senku, huh...”)

Chapter 86 - gen and senku just, being on the absolute same wavelength here. effervescent

Chapter 87 - more scheming ft. ryusui, devilishness ensues. up there in the most iconic sengen moments

Chapter 88 - gen does his thing w the cards, more shenanigans. Wonderful

Chapter 92 - gen pretends that senku has made a camera so that they can get the extra revival fluid from minami

Chapter 93 - senku says “that mouth of yours is really too much, mentalist!!” lmao

Chapter 94 - senku tries to quiz gen on the discovery of the sagara oil field

Chapter 95 - gen mirin senku’s motorboat. senku and gen are both on the boat together. gen also interprets morse code again in this chapter

Chapter 97 - ukyo and gen have another little discussion about senku, gen stares wistfully into the distance yet again. what did they mean by this

Chapter 98 - senku finally makes paved roads for gen

Chapter 99 - senku and gen conspiring to get money from ryusui again

Chapter 100 - gen is the last one to go on the boat, senku calls out to him and tells him that they need his skills, gen goes up really close to him and says that he would rather stick with senku’s group because that would be the safest bet TT_TT

Chapter 101 - gen is curious about where senku is, he goes to where senku is (with ruri) and literally just falls asleep next to him. later on gen has a question about soyuz he calls for senku

Chapter 103 - senku chooses gen to go to treasure island with the team of 4

Chapter 104 - senku and gen get a color page together, and they work together to deduce that amaryllis is around

Chapter 105 - senku needs to use the tear gas contraption that is on Gen’s back. gen understands immediately and becomes senku’s table hfsdjkf

Chapter 106 - they realize the thing amaryllis is talking about is the petrification beam after she describes her flashback.

Chapter 110 - gen calls senku cute as a girl

Chapter 113 - gen has his moment in the spotlight, general banter between them, modern au thing with them in the chapter cover page

crumbs

now here are just some panels and observations that aren't critical in the development of their relationship but are nice to note regardless

Chapter 26 - senku noting that gen isn't quite dead yet and senku helping hoist gen up into the hut lol

Chapter 39 - in the viz translation gen calls senku “my dear senku” i just think that’s really cute

Chapter 45 - just this omg why is senku so pretty

Chapter 52 - senku says that gen is good at impressions (this is also foreshadowing for when gen impersonates lillian weinberg)

Chapter 56 - just a few more crumbs from this chapter

Chapter 58 - gen saying "tewwible" i think this is great

Chapter 60 - being cute together. i am addicted to that "long day, huh?" panel

Chapter 84 - in the cover page, you see senku with basically the entire cast in front of him, and gen is the only person behind him. really makes u think. gen really is senku’s right hand man huh :’’)

in general, gen is shows just being really impressed by senku’s stuff which isn’t really matched by any other named character

in conclusion sengen is cute and canon they are chaotic good bfs and are in love thank u for coming to my ted talk. the world needs more sengen content

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