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#while I think its valid its not something i am personally comfortable with. i dont consent to that as an rp partner.
shdwtouch · 25 days
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not me openly admitting that shade lowkey takes after me. this was not intentional, I swear. uwu; she kinda just... ended up with an extra dose of who I am as a person, whereas most of my original characters receive much less.
I realized this when considering that shade is most likely homo leaning. and I was like, haha she's just like me ! an enby ace lesbian... and then the similarities just kept getting drawn. idk maybe I'm just overly tired.
also like. not gonna apologize ? she really isn't a self-insert. but its also like... creators are allowed to put themselves into what they make ! and I'm proud of shade, I really am. so I won't be made ashamed for traits we might share.
#《 ° puffin.exe 》 im a puffin ! i dont do much#° mobile post !#° to be deleted !#tbh i dont know hoe people get off accusing people of making self inserts in the rpc like#how do you know ?? unless i explicitly state or draw comparisons ??#and why would i do that if my intent is to fool people ? like.#i understand that interacting with inserts can be uncomfortable. i do !#but unless you really know the person ? you arent in a place to say their characters are inserts#and tbh i feel like most of my discomfort comes from the prospect of being deceived#im okay with writing with inserts but im gonna draw boundaries#especially if youre writing them with the intent to live through them / fantasize.#while I think its valid its not something i am personally comfortable with. i dont consent to that as an rp partner.#but im also envisioning the worst possibility in which its someone getting off to how i interact with their oc#point being. to my mind. self inserts arent bad. they also arent easy to judge.#and even if i dont consent to interacting with an insert for the purpose of being wank material or emotional stimulus...#people could still use my content for wank or emotional stimulus by putting themselves in the shoes of whoever im writing with so#am i really one to judge? no. because again. i dont know.#and i honestly think anyone who can come out and say their oc is an insert or takes after them is#more trustworthy than someone who doesnt disclose it. idk just. there is no need for deception.#and if you do try to deceive me im gonna assume you have ill intent#whereas honesty is something that should be valued. especially in cases where the truth is so stigmatized.
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lollytea · 1 month
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Up until a month back I liked a guy. And I really liked him. But I found out he didn't like me back. I was really upset, but I didn't want to hold it against him, but then I found out he had a reputation of being a player (which, at our age of 14 is flirtatiously texting girls and then just. Ghosting them).
And I felt really upset. I began to question if he even saw me as a friend, and whether the way he texted me was even friendly. What if he secretly loathed me and was just doing this to get a kick out of it? What if he knew about my feelings and they were just a joke to him?
I wanted to cry, but I told my friends and my sister I was okay. But I wanted to scream. Its not my fault I was born ugly. It's not my fault my face makes me unlovable. And even though I wanted to distance myself from him I felt some sort of perverse pleasure every time he did something embarrassing in front of every one.) And that's when I think it hit me.
That's why I'm unlovable. I am unlovable because I'm a terrible person. My friends tried to comfort me saying that he's a shitty person who can't see my beauty/cuteness, but friends are obligated to say that. I wanted to believe them because they're all so beautiful, and they would never lie to me because they love me. But they deserve a better friend than me.
I want to cry because I want to experience having a whirlwind romance, and falling in love. I also know I'll probably never have that.
And AGH I feel so upset. Because all my life I've known I was ugly. But when this guy showed me attention, was nice to me, it made me feel special. Made me feel like I was having my own romance.
I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate that I can't be loved, I hate my face, I hate myself for feeling these things. Last year when I suspected I began liking him, I told myself not to fall too deep, and here I am, ranting to you on tumblr dot com.
Lollytea, I love your writing and I love your posts. I love how confident you are of yourself. I'm very sorry for ranting in your inbox about my shitty love life, if this makes you uncomfortable, please delete it. But if you don't, I genuinely would like some encouragement. That my time for my own romance will come. That I will learn to love this face.
You're not unlovable. You're just 14. It just happens that being 14 feels a lot like being chronically unlovable. But no, that is not actually the case.
Maybe you've heard this a lot. And I imagine that it must be frustrating to listen to. That being a teenager just means your emotions are bigger and more intense than they will ever be in your entire life, so they're irrational and silly.
That's not the case either. Your feelings matter. And they're worth being listened to. But I do need you to keep in mind that the age range you're in right now is one of the most difficult periods of time that a human being will ever go through. Being a teenager is very hard. Being an adult is hard too. But me and every adult I've ever met would not trade it for being 14 again. No way in hell.
It does severely influence how you see yourself and why your emotions feel so strong and messy and all over the place. But I assure you that you're doing a fantastic job for a person in your situation. It's rough and you're getting through it and I'm proud of you.
Firstly, I'm going to say this quite bluntly but dont take it as me insulting them. Most of the boys in your class probably aren't that smart. And they are the absolute worst people to be seeking validation from. I promise that their opinion of you is not worth worrying about because they are...stupid, frankly. They won't be stupid forever. Probably. But being 14 is a weird age for boys too and they're quite mean for a while before they mature and chill tf out. Please try not to let it get to you if one of them doesn't like you romantically. I promise you it is not remotely a big deal. None of them have any idea how to be good boyfriends yet anyway.
No, you're not unlovable for occasionally having spiteful little thoughts about somebody who was mean to you. Everybody has those every once in a while. As long as you maintain some self-awareness and don't let cruelty consume your whole brain, having a few mean thoughts doesn't make you a terrible person. What WOULD make you a terrible person is external terrible behaviour. It's your actions that matter. So just be kind, alright? Be kind to your friends. Ignore the people you don't like but be civil. Don't hurt anyone. If you stick to all of this, you're golden. Considering that you already seem so self-critical of being a bit bitchy inside your own head, I think that's a promising sign than you won't do anything worse than that. I hope so anyway. Be kind, that's all you can do. Your friends love you. If you put your all into loving them in return, then you can have something so special.
You're not ugly, you're 14. Sorry, I'm getting a bit repetitive but I think it's relevant information to this whole situation. At the age you're at, your face is probably in this weird transitional period between child and adult so maybe that's why it might look "uglier" than usual to you. It might last a few more years but it won't look like that forever. I assure you that your face is beautiful because it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's alright if you've felt ugly your whole life. The way you look at your own face is way more personal than the way you look at other people's faces. We don't really notice the flaws on others the way we notice our own. We're wired weird like that.
All I can say is hang tight. If you don't like your face then please try not to let it upset you that much. Your face hasn't fully developed yet. For the time being, you look exactly the way you're supposed to look and you're perfect. Let's see how it looks in a few years before we make any rash decisions about it being as ugly as you think it is.
Don't be hasty in the belief that you'll never find love and romance. I assure you that the age you're at is the absolute worst time to get a boyfriend and its perfectly okay if you don't experience it for another while. It's normal. You're fine. It's okay.
I know you want it. I know it sounds nice. And I promise that if its important to you, once you're older and the people you're interested in are a little smarter, you will have it.
I'm serious when I say that for the time being, focus on being a good friend. Focus on school. Focus on your own physical and mental health. Focus on your hobbies. Being wanted by 14 year old boys won't mean shit in the long run.
Things will be okay. You talk so much about how you'll be alone for the rest of your life. But your life has only just begun and you hardly know who you are yet. It's impossible to tell what will happen in the coming years. I promise that you'll be okay.
I know you came for me for reassurance but from that last paragraphs, I'm sure you're already smart enough to know the things I've told you. But I imagine that you just needed a second opinion. Take care, love.
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khaliarart · 3 months
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God, I just realized that it's been too long since the last Irken question I asked, believe me I haven't lost interest in the slightest, you're still one of my favorite artists par excellence, I'm just a very distracted person.
Let's go with the great imperial questions, my dear artist.
Do you have any oc x cannon artists that you really like? Any Irken oc that you think have a great design and a cool backstory? (It is not valid to name Sun, Sun is the wave)
Of all the Irken seen in the show, what encourages you to choose Announcer as the other protagonist of your comic? I'm just curious.
And finally, and something a little more related to what we saw, has Announcer given up his search for little Irken girls now that he has Aka nearby or does he still hunt in a flock?
That would be all, maybe it was too much, you take the questions you feel comfortable with and take the time you need, also remember to drink water, okay?
—With love: a fish that would lose its head if it didn't have it attached to its neck.
Hi!!! This took a while to compile but I hope it answers all your questions:
Callie X Lard Nar by @spacegoathours is my favorite!
Aroflowey's Mint x Purple, the most fun OC X Tallest dynamic in my opinion.
I wished I knew more OC x canon creators :0 Someone give me OC X Commander Poki. Or X Sizz-Lorr. Aaa-
In no particular order, here's more bugs I really like:
Siv by @chewyena! What a lad.
Rot by @ruby-hux is freaking adorable. Definitely a fave even though I dont know the lore.
Meva and Cho by @gingerbreadart1, I am basically their godmother.
I want to preface the next answer by saying Anno is not a protagonist- It‘s not yet clear what he is >:3c
To answer why I chose him here’s the tldr of how I got attached to the character almost 5 years ago:
I had just made Aka to ship with my irl crushe’s Irkesona (Dr. Lola). I was trying to think of a conflict to Aka‘s story. So that Dr. Lola could swoop in and save her duh (subscribe for more dating advice with Khaliar).
The same day I rewatched The Nightmare Begins with a friend who hadn‘t seen the show yet. And went into a whole TED talk when I finally noticed how out of place the Announcer‘s design is. It opened so many questions. Why the helmet? Why only one eye? He looks like he should be tall and thus important but we don‘t know! And then I smashed him and Aka together and said "now kill each other“.
And for the last question, no, Anno is still on the lookout. He‘s not the type to settle🫥
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kouhaiofcolor · 2 months
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Dunno who needs to hear this (nah who am I kidding? I know exactly who I’m talking to & about, & y’all do too 😉),
but if your “Black friend(s)” are only Black males who are indifferent, entertained by or silent in the face of misogynoir, Black fetishism, colorism, antiblackness in general, & esp you using the n word as a non black — you do not have Black friends. I’m sorry. You’re simply friends with Black enablers who pander to & exceptionalize your ignorance bc they either hate themselves, their people or their culture (If not all of the above; & usually, it’s all if not most of the above). That’s what that is. At its core & in depth. The “Black People” you conveniently bring up to defend yourself when your humanity is brought into question or criticized online or irl, are just enabling your shitty behavior. And that is the purpose & function you comfortably reduce them to — whether either of you realize it or not.
They’re there for your convenience as apologists. I notice a lot of the time when y’all say or act on something antiblack, y’all reach vehemently for the minimal amount of Black “People” you actually know personally just to validate or excuse antiblack behavior, opinions or notions. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these Black “friends” are always always totally fine w y’all mishandling them or things unique to our culture, either. It’s more birds of a desperate ass feather than anything else. Stop looking to these friends to protect, back and validate your prejudice, bc trust & believe actual Black People w self & cultural respect don’t & wouldn’t fw them anyhow. Y’all could be like, “BlAcK pEoPLe DoNt Go To CoLLeGe,” — and reference the all of 0.3 Black People you interact w on an even semi-regular basis as a representative for the entire diaspora just bc they coon ass agrees to save face in front of you. 😂 Be ffr.
Y’all are never acquainted w Black People who even have the balls to put you in your place “friend to friend” for the ways in which y’all make them look stupid. Please stop it. Also, not that it’s a secret at all, but Black men are pretty notorious for mistreating their own ppl the same way non blacks do so. 👀While it’s not all of them, they’re certainly not the most ideal group to testify for y’all, just saying. Them be y’all picks tho. Consistently. Y��all ain’t never friends w/ Black Women who don’t play that shit. Or even just a healthy mix of Black men and Black Women who even agree w y’all. 😂 Odd af. Y’all definitely cherry pick y’all dancing monkeys for testimony and line of defense — and they never fail to perform, I’ll give you that. You do not have Black friends tho. Tell your enablers to shut up since they’re so comfortable being silenced anyhow until you need ‘em.
Thank you for coming to my TED. ✌🏽😊
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your post on regression grief hit me hard. i recently had a moment where for a couple hours i so vividly went back to when i was a kid, when it was the spring leading into summer during middle school and we all gathered in the open grassy field and played games. music played. the smell of the season was full of joy. ive been having more and more moments like this. the older i get and the more trauma i endure, the more i find myself having moments where i regress and cling to my tiger plushie and find myself talking a certain way. i go back to reliving these memories and its so comforting and simple.
Regressing is entirely new to me. i was told its something bad and “problematic”, so i was really scared when i started to put two and two together. do you have any advice for someone newly discovering this part of themself? (i know this is a heavy question so its okay if you dont!!)
Hi, friend ❤️❤️❤️ First of all, I have the impulse to say that I’m sorry for all the stress you’re under. While regression can be a very joyful thing, the side of it you usually see on the internet, it can also be that crushing, confusing grief. I hope some of what I’ll say can help.
First, I completely understand where you’re coming from. For me personally, regression is revisiting childhood because adulthood is hard and being a kid is just so much easier. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only safe place. Those memories are precious, and they are happy. (Some of my favorites are when I remember playing with my siblings, running around my backyard. Those were my favorite days)
My first piece of advice is that it’s okay to cling onto those memories and regress with them. It’s okay to have that bittersweet sting as you remember how simple life used to be. No matter who you are and what your situation is growing up is it’s own kind of trauma—suddenly being faced with responsibility and work, when it seemed only yesterday we didn’t have to worry about a thing. So, it’d natural to miss those easy times, and to wish for the, back. If that make you regress, then that’s okay.
I am actually fairly new to regression as well. I started trying age dreaming a year or so ago to try and cope with stress (with moderate success), but it wasn’t until the past few months that I’ve actually started to do regress routinely and consider myself a member of the community. I will admit that before I framed my regression negatively. I felt almost ashamed of myself for not handling my stress in a “typical fashion”. Which brings me to my next piece of advice. There is nothing wrong with regression. If you’ve been on this side of the Internet for long enough, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it again. Age regression is completely okay, it is a valid coping mechanism.It takes time to let go of those negative outlooks and preconceptions (believe me, I know) But you have Avery supportive, kind, and fun community agere, and we’d all be happy to help you however we can.
For me, the best way to get comfortable with regressing was to take baby steps. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures like decorating your bedroom as a nursery (tho if that’ll make you more comfortable, then go for it!) personally, I started small. Watching Disney movies. Sleeping with a stuffed animal every night. Coloring with crayons and coloring books instead of my fancy colored pencils. Eventually, it became natural.
However I would also like to point out that not all regression is sunshine and rainbows (unfortunately.). It’s also that space where we recognize our trauma through a child’s perspective, and that’s hard. It’s okay and normal for regression to be difficult or painful.
Nonetheless, it’s important to take care of those feelings. remember that you deserve this safe place.
I think the most important thing I can say is to indulge in it. Your mind will thank you. Personally, I’ve honestly been handling life so much better, recalling lost childhood memories I would have forgotten about, and just generally feeling happier since I’ve allowed myself to regress when I need to.
I hope some of this was helpful. Sorry if it was a bit scatterbrained. If I think of anything else, I’ll edit this later. And If you need anything else, whether to ask some more questions or just need a listening ear, I’m always available! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lots of love to you, friend, sending lots of warm, happy vibes your way
-Marty 💙
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ghost-rule0 · 1 year
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"You are important to me Vash"
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warning. This hasn't been proveread at all since I am on lunch break rn and wanted to write down some dynamic ideas for my upcoming Vash x Reader fanfic.
Enjoy!
Leaning back in the comforting plush of the backseat they exhaled. The otheres where out trying to find a hotel that was still open at this time while Vash and Y/N had to stay back. For one Vash was basically grounded so that Maryl could make sure he doesnt accidently attract more trouble than they already had while Y/N was a walking disaster, similar size as the human typhon himself.
The group had picked them up not long ago as the (h/c)nette was cluelessly walking around the dunes, covered in dirt and dried blood. Funny enough Meryl had almost ran them over, thinking it was a walking corpse just in time before roberto took over the wheel.
The situation was comedically similar to the moment they had picked up Wolfwood some weeks prior but the funerul palor worker just ignored their presence by completly oversleeping the encounter. The blond gunslinger on the other hand was uncomfortably and nervously sitting beside the practically half dead person beside him.
Asking time and time again if they were ok or if they needed anything. Y/N found it adorable that the stranger was so concered for themselves telling him its just a scratch while Meryl was screaming at them that they was practically dying on their backseet as the reporter slammed on the gas, racing to the next town to get them medical assistance.
Back to the current time it had passed a week since that accident and Y/N had to still wear mutiple layers of Bandages all over their body. Leaving a hurt stranger and Vash the walking danger attraction Stampede in the same car might have been not the best idea but for the sake of Merlys dying nerves it was the best option they had.
Over the past week Vash and Y/N seemingly got along very well making the silence between them almost comforting more than arkward. Both of them tho had deep shadows under their eyes, showing neither of them had a good sleep in a while.
"When did you last sleep Vash..." the bored voice of the walking mummie broke the silence as the blond man looked at them in confusion. "Yesterday? This morning? What do you mean...". His opposite hummed at the question before asking one more "I mean a good eight hours of sleep. Not your naps you take in the car". The man pressed his lips in a flat line as he starred outside. "Dont worry about that. Its more important that I am awake in case something happens"
"Why do you think that?" they replied, pressing further as the gunslinger started to drown in his thoughts. "To....to protect you all? Why else...?"
The answer didn't seem to satisfie Y/N as they turned to him. "Thats not a valid answer. We can look after ourselfs so you don't need to sacrifice your health over that"
The walking plant chuckled "don't think about it I really don't need so much sleep. As long as you all are ok I am fine too-"
Silence. This time not comfortable to as the blond nervously chuckled at the suddenly quiete mummie beside him.
"Vash" they spoke up, starring at him. "Y-yes?" he nervously looked at them, expecting some sort of scolding as he was used to from Meryl for not sleeping enough.
"Your well beeing is important to me. You are important"
The human typhon himself just starred blanky at his hands. Subconsciously fidgeting with his fingers as he didn't know how to answer.
It had been a long since he was told something like that. Last time probebly by Rem back when he and his brother were still young.
He didn't even react when his companion sighed and softly pulled his head on their shoulder, softly playing with his hair.
"How about we take turns, and you sleep first as I look out for danger ok? Let someone else protect you for once blondie..."
He didn't really react, just nodded as his mind was still clouded with questions. But his eyes just slowly closed as the sleep deprivation he was on started pull him in, knocking him out almost imidiently.
Y/N carefully took off his glasses and put them away so they wouldn't break from accidently laying in them as they grinned and leaned against the window. Thinking to themselves.
'I am such a good liar' before falling asleep themselves. Both finally getting a good rest for the first time in a while.
Extra:
Roberto let his ciggerette fall down into the sand before he stepped on it. He, Wolfwood and Meryl finally had found a hotel that still had enough rooms avoidable for the group so he was assigned to get the walking distaster duo out of the car. But as he saw trough the window that both insomaniacs were knocked out cold he decided to just smoke a cigarette, waiting if they would wake up before putting a blanket over the two and walking back to the in. Smiling faintly to himself as he shot the two a last glance.
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its-tortle · 7 months
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it wasn't a hate speech, I wrote about it, I'm sorry that something offended you.
ok, I'm bad at writing. try again. short version - why of all social things its a transgender people? you write (I wrote same) you have no self-interest other than equality. You write about Ukraine one time, you write about Israel one time. You know what I mean?
I mean, you like Taylor - you post about Taylor a lot. You post cute gay couple a lot - because you love it. And from social - you post a lot about trans. Only trans you post a lot.. More than about women rights or bisexual people. Why? :-) You are a woman, you are young, you have your own life, friends. Why you dont speak about this.
I'm asking this because I don't know any trans people in real life (like you as I know) other than tiktok, yt. but I know people of all orientations. my governem doesnt have enough money for education and medicine. I mean that everyone simply has problems. but you write about them. I don't have a problem with them, and neither do you.
I just don’t understand why so many posts on tumblr about trans rights, especially from people who are not in the trans community at all. So yeah, the short question - why trans?
(you don't have to reblog at all about anything, but you reglog about trans. and yeah, if its a post about hp you only write on tags jkr on negative part)
hi! sorry it took me a moment to get to this, and sorry that i misunderstood your ask in the first place. it's a valid question, truly, though i'm not sure i alone am able to give you a full answer for it.
there's definitely a number of reasons as to why trans issues seem to be disproportionately represented on my blog and many others, some of those reasons are personal and some of them sociopolitical.
the first and maybe most obvious personal reason is the simple one of queer solidarity. i'm bi, i've dated women, and that makes me part of a larger group that is as diverse and colorful as it is littered with a history of prosecution. trans people are very much a part of that collective, and i want them to feel as supported as they have made me feel when i've met them at gsas and pride events and fandom spaces. while i don't relate to their issues exactly, their overall struggle against the cis heterosexual matrix still connects with me. we're all under one umbrella.
also (and maybe this is where a bit of the sociopolitics comes in) trans people are one of the most immediately and publicly threatened groups within the lgbtq+. while so many other sexualities and identities are obviously affected by current events and politics, the queer hate spread in right-wing politics these days is specifically anti-trans. i'm half american and have grown up in western europe, and the impact of this hate mongering is felt in my own communities. while i know most about us and some uk anti-trans politics, i know the sentiment is more widespread than just those places. it feels like one of the most urgent queer issues right now.
and because i am queer and because i am western, the algorithm and the news and the people i follow on social media are posting about this anti-trans rhetoric. i don't think i ever deliberately seek out trans supportive content, but it's what i see on my feed/dash, so that's what i reblog. if i saw as much disability support or ukraine support, etc., i would reblog that too.
sure, there are things that i don't reblog that i maybe should, but again, i'm not here to be an activist and i don't like reblogging content about issues i'm not fully sure/educated about. the palestine/israel issue, for instance, is so much more complex than 'trans people deserve to exist', so i'm not as comfortable hitting a quick reblog. not because i don't care about it or because it's not on my mind, but because it's not as black and white and i don't feel like a worthy informant. i talk to my friends and my parents about it, but i don't need my incomplete opinions to be posted publicly online.
and i know i keep saying this, but i'll say it again: i am not here to be an activist. there is a definitely a conversation to be had here, and maybe i should be doing more, but i also resent being made to feel like i have to weigh in on every world issue because my silly little blog about queer tv shows and taylor swift has 1k followers. i reblog what resonates with me, i reblog what i understand. i want this blog to be a happy place.
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dreaming-of-lu · 3 months
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am v fatigued rn so sorry if this is incomprehensible but im wizard anon from your other blog and i wanna say i appreciate you 👍 i dont write stuff that other people would be interested in consistently enough for me to ever keep up with my own writing sideblog (tho i do have one) so being able to pop in and submit stuff whenever i do manage to make something others might like has been great. worse at interacting with this blog bec i didnt know it existed for a while and am very tired and often forget to reach out when i think about it... but i do like your stuff 🤲 interacting with others on social media is just hard for me for some reason???? not used to reaching out and talking to others online i forget i can do that.
maybe if i get free time from my other writing stuff ill work up the courage to write some whump or something and submit it here, i know my fave things to write are niche or will get repetitive but if other people genuinely like/want lu x reader stuff centred around queerness, disability and hurt/comfort then i might get the itch for it.
apologies if this doesn't make sense. feel free to dm me (i think you know my actual blog) if you ever wanna discuss ideas/brainstorm/chat/etc. ill try to post little thoughts here more often if i get them, and engage more. i get why its discouraging i feel the same with my own stuff but i know im not abled enough to be as consistent as i want to, both in making and replying, so i usually try to put it out my mind. a thing me and my friend does is when we read each other's fics we go back and screenshot/copy paste specific sections we liked especially and add commentary or just point it out as a Good Bit, ill try to do that with more fics here and on tumblr in general i think, and i encourage others to do the same, as someone who puts Themes and Motifs into all their fics. i want people to notice them or let me talk about them lol
anyway. youre cool. remember that 🪄✨
- wizard anon
🧙 anon! Hemlooo! So glad to see you here too! It's completely valid for ya. Social media is a bit harder to interact cause well, you don't see the person's face and you're talking to a complete faceless stranger. It's definitely a bit more daunting and also gathering the will to think of words without scaring/nerving the person off. Either way, sometimes you just gotta be brave and take the leap.
The thoughts?
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I will be waiting for your tasty treats as always eue
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marrow-minded · 1 year
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v7/v8 made me dislike ruby a lot but v9 made me really side with her. i've been in her shoes, with having to put on a strong happy face for everyone because their problems always seem to be bigger than mine.
but to see yang walk ahead of blake to shield her from ruby really broke me. like?? do you not know your own sister?? do you genuinely think she'd harm her own teammate??
blake doesn’t need protection, and it’s weird how yang tries to shield her like ruby is about to hurt her. i get bumbleby's whole thing is "we're protecting each other"
but that doesn't mean go and protect blake (who has shown she can hold her own in a verbal argument anyway) against your own sister, yang!
sorry for the rant, i just am in shock that this was written and executed this way with no one thinking of how ruby would feel from this. ruby was somehow more effected by jaune's rant (which, while valid, doesn't change the fact that jaune basically held a whole town hostage for 10-20 years) than by yang shielding blake.
as a certified Older Sibling that actually had to raise their siblings, its so wild to me how the writers seem to not want them to be sisters during this volume
:readmore:
like. from rubys seeming confusion at weiss saying "about time" to yang and blake flirting-- bc ruby is the team leader, she should be aware of the interpersonal development of her teammates, and also thats her SISTER ur telling me ruby wouldnt be a lil shit about her sisters crush on blake?-- to the more obvious, egregious issues that yang displays the entire volume about ruby and her mental health, its increasingly obvious to me that the writers of rwby struggle with writing their characters to have multiple different dynamics and relationships with multiple people, either from a lack of skill or an inability to diversify their characters emotional states
thats the problem with a) having all four main girls personalities mimic and mirror each other. there very little between their dialogue (until v9) that distinguishes them from each other; the words blake says could have been spoken by yang, whose lines could have been weiss', whose lines could have been rubys, whose lines could have been blakes, etc etc. until we get to v9 where suddenly blake is this flirty happy "bridge between humans and faunus" who can make plans when rubys unable to, who is more than happy to lead them through a fairytale without a care for the real world. and yang is back to being her quick to violence jokester, who seemingly never learned a lesson about starting fights and relying on her semblance. weiss is literally a joke, her character swinging rapidly between sadness for her fallen kingdom and physical comedic relief thats kinda... odd. and ruby... well. we know what rubys like in v9. but the point of all this is Suddenly all four girls are acting Very Different, not just between themselves but between their previous selves. it makes me wonder if these new personalities (sans depressed ruby who just had to be told her mother loved her and she kinda got over it all) going forward-- but this all means that yang and blakes relationship HAS to take priority for both characters at the loss of their other dynamics. we got half a second of blake and weiss actually talking and working together (which they failed, btw, somehow weiss and blake, the two smart ones, couldnt figure it out) where we get them shyly saying "im glad youre here" as if theyre barely friends, we dont get to see either of them actually find each other or ruby and the reunion-- but blake gets to glomp yang and cling to her and cry and have yang comfort her and hold her tight; weiss and ruby, who are also partners dont get that. RUBY AND YANG WHO ARE SISTERS DONT GET THAT.
which leads me into b) why are the teams even done the way they are. why is there an assigned team leader. isnt the whole point and culture of remnant that everyone is unique, every one has something special they can bring to a team? shouldnt a team of four be on equal footing with each other, where if there is a team leader its due to a vote by the members OF SAID TEAM? not some literal stranger after seeing one (1) fight based off the relics they picked on the first day of school?
idk thats more of just a flaw on rwbys worldbuilding and how frankly its kinda Silly to give ruby this angst about being team leader when A) multiple characters throughout the show have shown not to he happy and cheerful all the time and have never been punished for it, and those characters have only been met with love and support; where is this idea coming from where ruby thinks she cant be upset? she was literally upset a day ago when finding out about the hound and yang actively comforted her. nora was met with love and support with HER suicide attempt, was that why ruby veered to this extreme? idk and B) she spent more time as a member of RNJR and then as a conglomeration of two teams + two adults, and then they were huntsmen in atlas, where we didnt see team RWBY actually be a team at all.
anyways im spiraling off into other issues with the writing bc every bad writing choice in rwby spawns from fifteen others scattered throughout the show lol
as for ruby being more affected by jaunes outburst than yang defending ruby... well if i was ruby, id also be used to yang prioritizing blake and herself over me this point; both of them are basically strangers to me with all the shit they went through and all the shit i went through when we werent in each others lives and neither of them seem to be able to function without each other-- given that yang spent the whole time blowing up at ren and worrying about blake, and blake was unable to kill a single grimm without begging for help from ruby-- and jaune has been rubys best friend since the first day of beacon, and they have genuinely spent more time being partners and working together than ruby has had with any of her teammates. and regardless of what we, the audience, feel about his rant, to RUBY hes right; it IS all about her. the weight of the world is on her shoulders and she thinks shes fucking everything up and jaune just validated those feelings of failure, albeit unintentionally, given his own debilitated mental state
(i dont think i precisely agree the the paper pleasers were hostage but to be fair i think the whole paper pleaser thing was stupid in general bc when they ascend... they just have the same purpose? theyre just made of like gemstones instead of folded paper which isnt much of an improvement in the destructability scale tbh lol i see the paper pleasers as more metaphorical in a meta sense but then again i watched all of v9 blitzed out of my gourd so im not an expert and also everyone is entitled to their own interpretations lol)
sorry for just sort of going off and away from the main point of ur ask which was about the warped dynamic of yang and ruby; like i said, ever issue spirals back and around to twelve other problems and v9 is TERRIBLE WITH IT. v9 is just so WEIRD and not in a cool interesting way but in a... filler ooc way. it confuses my brain the way a tangled strand of a fine delicate necklace compels me; it looks interesting and sometimes i make a breakthrough but mostly its just tangled up in a weird knot that only seems to get worse the more i try and unravel it
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Text
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Everywhere else seems too shameful to share(though I did anyway) & elaborate on, because those places are full of legitimate knowledgeable pros/artists, but uhhhh,
so I think I want to become a tattoo artist?
But seeing as I am the person that I am, living in the place that I am, knowing the language as badly as I do and having the anxiety that I do that makes it appear even more basic, I don't think I really can go the traditional route of studio apprenticeships.
And the loud majority of studio tattooers will of course tell you to never ever how even dare you try to do ANY tattooing on your own!!!! To the point of actively discouraging even buying a machine at all, even just for practice skins. Just draw a lot and go spend 1-3 years in an unpaid grueling apprenticeship where maybe they'll let u do something in a year or so uwu (tho there are also ppl fighting the gatekeeping) ( n some apprentices Ive seen whove started doing serious practice within a few months)
But yea so,,, thats why tbh it feels embarrassing to even mention me wanting to, even though on the other hand thats also.... the way to put any sort of attention on you, to garner interest from prospective mentors and amass future clients....... but also god its nerve wrecking thinking some local pro is looking at my stuff with disdain and mockery.
It just sucks how much language is a barrier for me. I'm not confident enough to just barge in talking in english even if they prob know the language fine enough.
Ontop of that its kinda sad I had all this sustained motivation for several days in a row but then I made the mistake of posting some little designs online. Because I was excited about it I of course expected excitement back. A response! A showering of praise and acceptance!
But the need for social validation is a poisonous pit and it never gives back quite what you give it. I knew it would not give me the validation and would ruin things and make me doubt myself and still I was hopeful and wanted it to be different and maybe a little bit more like the old times,,,
Its so hard to keep up my own confidence, as essential as it is to human psychology. I cant even create those little wins to sustain any real growth in myself. I just keep regressing and becoming worse. Im a hermit but one that doesnt even have any real community to turn to even online..........ughhhhhhh.
This is a very unstructured ramble, but its felt so fruitless having all these thoughts clogging my brain and nobody to talk to about them.
I dont know. Now I suddenly got back into writing and making more significant progress on my story/possibly novella.
and inbetween I thought more and more of how tattoo artist is the antithesis of me. I cannot pull my own clients, I cannot talk to people and make them want to keep coming back for my company, I could not do the receptionist duties for an apprenticeship, I do not even have an appropriate space to tattoo if it ever came to that AND renting even v small offices is stupid expensive at first glance. So I could not start doing that without already having a steady stream of clients.
Tattooing feels like a level of responsibility I could handle, it feels like it would be an interesting new craft to explore, w techniques to master, a different kind of self expression........ but thats all idyllic theory. No career path really fits me and it comes back down again to me being so unable to change my social ineptitude. Its such a waste how I had some modicum of comfort and progress in that sphere my last few years in Latvia,, and it fell apart just because it was so unsustainable financially......... N now that Ive been comfortably settled for a while in austria, just being financially stable and comfortable isnt enough...
Insanely Ive been wondering if the economy has evened out some in LV that I could come back.......but theres no way I would even physically *survive* through some unpaid apprenticeship there.....
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I get your internalized homophobia and dont want to down talk it or anything. But I think a lot of your issues have something to do with something that women of all sexualities struggle with. And thats not accepting or perceiving themselves as complete human beings when they are without a partner. I know so many downright miserable women in het relationships but they cant break up bc then they wouldnt be fully human anymore. And very sadly some lesbians who cling to the same thought just without an available partner. The longing for romantic companionship etc is valid and natural! But it shouldnt destroy your self esteem, your sense of self and your ultimately your life. The notion that a woman is an incomplete human without a partner is something a sexist society and sometimes trauma trained us to be and to feel. Being a lesbian doesnt free us from that societal training. It just makes us feel like we failed as humans and as women.
I disagree with the notion that whoever hates themselves cant find a relationship or love. But there is some truth to it in a way. And that is, if you are truly and completely content with being your own companion for life, if you are fine and happy alone, then you will be able to find a partner that IS a true and equal partner and not only a substitute for that hole in your self perception. It's ironic really. And I know it sounds discouraging because your first thought might be that you will never be able to come that far. But its one step at a time, slowly and surely. I started this journey when I was in my early to mid 20s and absolutely miserable and filled with self hatred. I am now in my early 30s and I feel like settling down in myself and becoming secure with my own company. I wouldnt call myself completely happy because well who is truly completely happy? But at least I am happy with being my own company, care taker and friend. How to go down that road is a highly personal thing. For me it was a combination of trauma therapy but also a coaching with helped me get to know myself. Sounds silly but most of us really dont know ourselves because we are so repulsed by ourselves. Having someone focus on YOU, just you and not only your trauma or what makes you miserable can help wonders. And therapy tends to only focus on the miserable. Which is also important but can drown you.
And the vast majority was choosing over and over again to not hate myself. Thats hard work because self hatred is cozy after some time. But choosing to eat properly, to go for a walk to see some birds, to clean up the kitchen and to read a book that just makes you happy and nothing else is already such good work. And pausing a situation when you slip into self hatred. Your hatred of yourself is your little inner child but you are an adult. You can pick it up, listen to it, acknowledge its worries, hold it and soothe it. And then take a deep breath and be the adult your inner child would need.
One of the things that also made me calm was Tove Jansson who found her life long partner and love in her 40s. There is no rush for love. It made me ask important questions: do I want a partner who loves me right now? Right now that I am starved, that I am sad and I hate myself. Now that I hide a lot of myself and bend over backwards to be loveable? Do I want someone who loves this version of me? Do I want to put so much hope and trust into someone to see the hidden, sunken, tiny part of me that I really am? Do I want to risk that this person actually loves me when I hate myself?
Or do I want someone that loves me when I eat properly, when I snort laugh over stupid jokes, when I am comfortable and dont bend myself to be something i am not?
Its not that we become the happy person we are meant to be through someone else. We have to become content with ourselves so someone who feels attracted to our comfortable self can find us. When I was extremely skinny, shaved my body hair etc and tried so hard to be loveable while hating myself... Would a woman who likes me when I am confident and content even find me and be attracted to me? This doesnt mean "when you hate yourself you are to blame for not finding a healthy partner". God no. It means that if you focus on yourself and on being content with yourself you can be more calm and secure when you meet someone. You can trust yourself and ultimately trust that person. You can make a healthy choice for yourself and not depend on luck and chance.
And please dont understand this as "you are doing something wrong and its your fault you are miserable". Its not your fault. None of which I wrote is obvious or easy. This society wants women and especially lesbians to feel like you feel. To break free of that isnt easy so dont beat yourself up about it. I just want to encourage you to try and to take your time. Dont beat yourself up and again, take your time.
No no anon you are fully right 💕💕and I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out for me 💕💕
Honestly I think I’m just horribly childish. Because this is all true and I know that, but all my brain can do is go “but I still want it now”
I think everything you mentioned is fully part of the problem for me but I also think it’s an accumulation of smaller things as well. Like romance is my favourite genre so I consume it the most, my sister has like a textbook romance with her bf who she had been with since she was 13, I don’t have an awful lot of friends or people around me in general so I’m very lonely and I think that loneliness seeps into my desire to have a gf. Two birds one stone sort of situation. And genuinely I just feel better when I have someone to love. I like loving someone. My main problem is I don’t have anything in my life at the moment, I think. Having my life consist of seeing those the same age as me move out or get jobs or get partners or heck just even drive , all while I’m getting money I feel so guilty having from them government, 90% of the time the only reason I leave the house is to go to an appointment. I feel so unbelievably stagnant in life. All the avenues people have to meet propel just aren’t available to me at this time. And I think it makes me long for a relationship even more. And having to go through the trauma of my sexuality sometimes makes me feel bitter that I went through it for “nothing” if that makes any sense. Like maybe I would have been better off never figuring this part of myself out.
Sorry I’m probably rambling and not making any sense aha.
But genuinely and wholeheartedly thank you so so so much for taking the time to send this to me 💕 it’s truly beautiful. And I’m going to save it so I can read over it when I need a good reminder.
You have a very kind soul and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful and amazing day ☺️💕💕
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kimbap-r0ll · 2 years
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Can I please request a TWST matchup! I am veryyy outgoing. I make friends really easy and overall I’m a people pleaser. I do get very anxious and overwhelmed easily, which can cause panic attacks. I dont like sports, but I do like studying and my grades are something I take pride in. I overwork myself a lot and I make myself crumble. I thrive in environments where I get to help people. I tend to fall for possessive people because it makes me feel like someone actually likes me, even though they’re toxic. I get a long with people pretty easily though a lot of people have taken advantage of me because I’m naive and overly kind and I do anything in my power to make sure that people like me. I crave validation so I love being praised and takes care of, it makes me feel like I’ve done something right. I really enjoy video games and puzzles cause they challenge my brain. Its very easy to get me to do anything- just tell me “if you do _____ then I’ll be so proud of you.” And I’ll do it-. I am a little chubby with stretch marks and surgical scars. I’m very insecure in my body and I would like someone who would hold me close and let the world fall away. I love the idea of someone rough and tough getting soft and snuggling with me. I have some sensory issues that can cause panic attacks, like loud places/crowds. I prefer someone quiet where I can cuddle with someone or just be in my SO’s presence. I crochet and I recently finished making a blanket! I aspire to be a botanist or a horticulturist because I love plants and gardening! Thank you!!!
Hi! Thank you for the request! I think that the best person to match you up with would be…
Jack
He might not show it but I feel like he’s a pretty possessive guy. He’s not necessarily toxic, but he doesn’t like sharing and he gets jealous easily (it’s a bit cute to see him like that haha). But overall, I can see him as a person who will want to take care of you all the time. He has siblings and care a lot for his friends, so he probably takes that to another level when with a significant other.
He won’t ever try to manipulate you since he’s so honest (he can’t lie too) and that’s what matters a lot. He believes in being loyal and will be by your side whenever you need him. He’s not the best with words, but he admires you for who you are a lot. His praises sometimes come out in a blushing mess but he really does mean it when he says things like “you did well” or “I’m so proud of you.” He will make sure you are safe and comfortable with him. You don’t like crowded areas? He will part the sea of people if needed. He loves you for who you are, no matter what you like as your hobbies or how you look. To him, you’re the person he wants to protect and he cherishes you with all his heart.
Don’t push yourself too much, he gets worried quickly for your health! If he thinks you’re too tired or you’re overworking, he might just pick you up from whatever you’re doing and make you rest. He cares too much for you haha.
I feel like you guys would do gardening often together. I think it would be really cute honestly to attempt strawberries with him! He’s supportive of your goals in becoming a botanist/horticulturist since he too really likes plants.
Speaking of hobbies, he definitely is the type of person to just sit with you while you do your thing. He’s probably a softie on the inside, so if you make him something with your crochet skills he’ll melt. He wants to learn from you if possible too, and I think it would be fun teaching him!
If you ever want to just cuddle with him, he’s literally the best person to hug. His strong arms make you feel so warm and safe, and he definitely fits your needs of a strong cuddly man :)
Overall his vibes are very nice, but more importantly he will love you more than anything else.
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(tw ed/sh mention) hey its attention seeking anon again and im sorry if i came off as saying self harm/disordered eating in general is attention seeking. its absolutely not for most ppl but in my case specifically it is attention seeking behavior. i overshare and occasionally exaggerate my issues on purpose, i complain to anyone any chance i get, i trigger myself on purpose to recieve comfort and support, etc. i feel guilty but i crave the validation painfully bad and i cant seem to stop. im afraid of seeking help because i know i am attention seeking so maybe me wanting help isnt actually me wanting to get better, its just more wanting attention. (not a baseless fear either, has happened in the past) i dont rlly know what the point of sending this is but i feel like i came off wrong in the first ask so i wanted to clarify. also thank you for your response, most of the time ppl tend to think the ""treatment"" for attention seeking is "ignore the person even tho they are very clearly in need of attention and you are causing them pain but its ok bc theyre just attention seeking so it doesnt matter". it was very validating to hear that im not alone and like,, even if my behaviors are maladaptive i still like,, deserve help and support and attention. thank you so much. /gen
Hi anon,
You're totally fine. I also relate to oversharing and exaggerating issues on purpose, and I know you said you experienced emotional neglect which I have on some level as well, so it's possible there's a correlation there. I think craving validation is completely understandable. Again, us being social creatures, we flourish from not just attention, but love.
While I know you say you're attention seeking, I still feel like there is a piece there that genuinely wants help and is trying to be mindful of attention seeking behavior, which is great. The way you've framed your issues sounds to me like the concerns you have about yourself are authentic and your desire to seek help also comes from an authentic place.
I also just want to say that I hate the idea that the treatment for attention seeking is to ignore them. It's a cry for help. While I also want to acknowledge situations where attention seeking behavior is harmful to the point that ignoring them is probably safest, I feel like most times someone exhibits attention seeking behavior, especially as a child, it's indicative that something's going on.
Hope you're doing alright. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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finalshaper · 1 year
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🔥🔥
Send me some flames and I'll tell you some opinions, hot takes, and other things.
you sent 2 flames so you get 2 takes. one is relatively lukewarm and the other is star-about-to-go-supernova hot.
🔥 -- on subcultures and aesthetic trends on tiktok
look i am a master of making up people to get mad at but i guarantee you ive actually seen and had encounters like this in my year-or-so absence from tumblr frolicking in the 8th layer of Buddhist hell that is tiktok.
and ive been thinking abt the whole idea of trends and how tiktok does near-irreversible damage to just about every single aesthetic/subculture that it has ever gotten its hands on.
i remember the 2021 weirdcore biblical accurate angel dreamcore BS that was on tiktok and how pretty much everyone was all for it until it was no longer trendy, THEN it became trendy to bully people who genuinely liked weirdcore/dreamcore/etc and associated aesthetics until it was pretty much entirely forgotten
i've noticed that goth/metal/emo/etc is going through and has been going through a very similar thing albeit somewhat slower
I want to say it started sometime in late-2022 when Custer by slipknot was trending, same with that whole stranger things season thing i frankly dont give a shit abt.
EVERYONE wanted to be metal. but they only want the looks. i've seen people who were like "give me metal suggestions" and when I'd suggest something that wasn't softer (like some of Ghost's songs) and instead suggested cannibal corpse and infant annihilator or even lorna shore or gnaw their tongues they would recoil in disgust. like hey you said you wanted to get into metal!
suddenly, SUDDENLY, they don't want anything to do with metal. suddenly, it's no longer palatable to them. suddenly they're perfectly comfortable listening to whatever their dad thinks is "hardcore shit" and not broadening their horizons and subjecting themselves to the raw power and beauty that is metal outside of such a narrow window.
now the thing with metal, goth and emo. it's more than just an aesthetic -- metal and emo are music-driven, while goth is driven not just by music but also literature and other multi-medias. these subcultures will teach you about trying new things, broadening your horizons, etc etc.
since it's happened/is happening with metal, you have to understand that that subculture is music-driven, is home to hundreds upon hundreds of subgenres. you cannot dress metal but then refuse to dig into the music, go to concerts, learn the history, etc. To challenge your sense of identity. and if it doesn't work for you, that's fine.
the issue lies therein with people buying fast fashion, only listening to whatever is trending and refusing to dig a little deeper (when the subculture is born on music that is the opposite of maintream) and whenever they see an actual metalhead they recoil in disgust. dare i say they're culture vultures, only picking and choosing, only in it for the trends.
and what happens when the trends are over? they decide their next best bet is to go to every single metalhead they see, who have reshaped their wardrobes (i am in the process of a flip myself) around this subculture for years, maybe even longer than they've been alive, and telling them to "take that stuff off the trend is dead lol" among other instances of heckling and mockery because the aesthetic is no longer "In" and bullying it is.
it's always bothered me how tiktok has a tendency to do this to styles, to subcultures. people who get into something because it's "hip" and "in" and instead of actually diving into it they treat it like some cute "look how badass I am" type thing before deciding it's cringe and attacking people who have made it their lives.
you are allowed to explore yourself and if it isn't for you it isn't for you. that's valid. but also if you're only chasing trends and only in it for the trends please just try to get into it. just give it a shot. don't revolve your entire sense of personal identity around what is/isn't "in" and what is/isn't "cringe." fuck them, be you, find your own way, and if you're touching on a subculture because it's trendy please for the love of all the gods give it a shot outside of tryin to be in with the kids. you might learn something abt yourself!
🔥 -- on metal
let's stop gatekeeping metal from newcomers and shit, let's show them how accepting our community can be. nu metal is metal. heavy metal is metal. if it has metal in the name, it's metal. and who gives a shit how they were introduced, as long as they participate in the subculture rather than the previously-mentioned culture vultures.
what we should be gatekeeping out are all the nazis far-right degenerates and other inbred shitheels that ruin the fun for everyone and have given the metal community its unfortunate reputation in some regards. there. i said it. i don't give a fuck how hardcore you are if you're alt-right you're not metal.
i see people argue that "metal isn't political," then how come there's nazi bands then hm? naziism is a political ideology, hm? are you only saying that because you don't like how your ego is being attacked? are you only saying that metal isn't political in order to overcompensate, or because you can't accept the fact that your backwards-thinking brainless degeneracy will be met with resistance?
And metal, like punk, has always had political integrations. choosing to ignore that in favour of your own stupidity is denying yourself your own subculture that you claim to take so much care in the participation of.
metal as a whole does not have a race, it doesn't have a gender or a sexuality or even a country, nor is metal without disabilities. we need to come together and chase out the bigots and shitheads that threaten our integrity. we're all in the pit together babes.
gatekeeping needs to stop attacking innocent newcomers and people who are merely curious and needs to start attacking and addressing the actual issues. and the elitist assholes in the community need to stop acting like they're superior to everyone for listening to a band that doesn't exist outside of amazon music and can't even be found on youtube and has less than 10 monthly listeners. you aren't better than the rest of us
and you aren't better for shitting on nu metal listeners or screaming about how "ghost isn't metal" (which is frankly dumb as fuck) and acting like you have the supreme ultimate rule over everyone and everything in what is supposed to be a loving and accepting community.
and you need to stop acting like metalheads who enjoy other genres are "less metal." Being mindful of a band and whether or not they're a shit person doesn't make someone a pansy or a pussy (glares pointedly at people who say you're not metal if you refuse to listen to M*rylin M*nson)
the elitists in this community are almost as big of an issue as the nazis considering how fucking atrocious their attitudes are and all of their energy is directed toward harassing and bothering innocent newbies and shit (and even older people like myself and even my mom who is 57 and has been in the scene since she was 16) rather than. you know. gatekeeping the people who should actually be gatekept.
anyways i'm not an annoying gatekeeping shitbag (except for nazis) so have the metal playlist that i'm almost constantly updating, including artists i like, artists spotify suggested, and artists i'm curious about. songs are added whenever i feel like it and if i find out a certain artist is a shitbag they get kicked out. it's got deathcore, it's got black metal (RABM and DSBM and general black metal stuff but NO NSBM) and it's got all sorts of stuff. and yes feel free to send me suggestions to add.
hope all of this made sense youve given me an opportunity to bitch and ramble and by gods i took it.
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munsons-maiden · 2 years
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hi, i really need to vent rn and you are literally a safe space for anything eddie/joseph related and i just feel like i have to talk about it.
my heart is broken and ive cried my eyes out for a while now because joe wont be at the german comic con due to issues with his passport. ive spent so much money on tickets and the whole trip to see him. like, all i wanted was one of those hugs he gives everyone and i wrote him a letter and now its all for nothing.
i am so sad and frustrated now because i wont get my money back and i had to fight the entire week to get tickets for him. i almost got scammed two times and now this. no hug, no smile, no nothing :(
im still going and i at least got a ticket for grace, so as long as she wont cancel too, its at least something. but its still so disappointing and i feel so devastated. knowing that id meet him gave me so much motivation to do something and now its all gone again.
im still thinking if its a dck move to ask grace if she will take my letter and maybe gets it to joe somehow. the letter really means so much to me and idk if ill ever get the chance to give it to him now. but im scared that grace might think im only using her, if she even agrees. and if she did agree, maybe the letter would get lost somewhere and any chance of getting it to him is gone...
i really dont know what to do now and im trying to see the positive aspects but its so hard, considering everything i invested and all the hopes i had :(
sorry to dump this on you, i just needed to tell someone
same anon with the german comic con topic here... again i just feel like my last whining session sounded like im mostly frustrated that i spent so much money. and while that is true, i spent it gladly to meet joseph. just wanted to clarify.
the money issue isnt my biggest problem, its just the only thing i can actually be mad about rn, bcs joe has a valid reason to cancel. even if the passport thing is not the whole truth and maybe he ditched because the london cc wasnt going too great (some ppl speculate that he didn't wanna do another comic con so soon after) its his right to do so and i cant be mad at him.
its just so disappointing because i wanted to talk to him and see him interact with fans and ask him stuff. and now the opportunity is gone and it was pure luck that i even had this one chance. its just... i miss him, without ever meeting him? does that make sense?
i feel like his presence must be so nice to be around and i was so ecstatic when i finally got the tickets. and now i think i ruined it for myself because every time i overthink something, i make up 567 scenarios in my head, what could happen, what i could say and so on... and whenever i do this, i jinx it. and the little ppl controling my life, reading my thoughts, built me a path i didnt calculate.
its the same thing that happened this time, its the same thing that happens all the time with whatever situation i am confronted with.
to end this second rant on a note that is actually related to you and not just a random anon escalating in your asks... i could really use some new eddie content right now and i am over the moon, that worlds apart chapter 7 will be out soon and i can drown myself in my sorrow and the new chap ):)
Hi sweetheart! First of all, no worries, my inbox is always open🖤
I'm very sorry this happened, and I totally understand the sadness and frustration about the situation, it's absolutely valid. There's sadly not much of a positive aspect to this except for the fact that they're already talking to Joe about coming to another Comic Con in Germany in October - maybe it's worth a shot to try and get tickets for this one?
As for the letter; it depends entirely on what feels safe/comfortable for you. If you plan to get tickets for the October Con, you could keep the letter to give it to him yourself, since it seems very personal? In the end, you're the only person who can make a decision about that; you could take the letter with you and decide while you're there?
I hope you'll feel better soon, and should you decide to try for tickets for October, my fingers are crossed! 🖤
(And I hope Worlds Apart can contribute a little to comfort you🖤)
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serafienn · 6 months
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Lil backstory to all this and a big ass lesson to anyone, NEVER and i mean NEVER change yourself for a MAN. i am a person who just feels more comfortable not eating much and being skinnier, while i know that this isnt the healthiest it still is how ive always been. Now i met this guy and he was into... Bigger women... Or so i thought. He followed a bunch of weird corn accounts on Instagram and it was mainly of plus sized models so me as a little insecure validation seeking teenage girl who has struggled with an eating disorder most of her teen years chooses to do what? Leave the dude behind because he doesnt fit my goals and will push me away from them further? WRONG. my dumbass decided to GAIN WEIGHT. It took me about an entire summer to lose weight and ever since that summer a year ago its been a rocky road struggling to maintain that weight and lose more. I threw all that down the drain for one man. I definitely did gain weight and while i went up a cup size most of it went to my waist. I definitely didn't gain something crazy like 40 lbs in one month but more around 10-15. To make matters worse i dont even think the guy liked ONLY big girls despite the fact that he would skinny shame me but i think he just liked any girl. Didnt Matter if they where brandy sized or plus sized he just wanted ANYONE. Now i just cant stand him and i gained weight which i worked so hard to lose. Were on winter break at the moment so ill try to lose weight because I'm so jealous of my thin friends. Im not ugly by no means but I just dont have the body to match my face, especially not now. Let this be a lesson to all of you ana girlies DO NOT DO IT FOR A BOY DO IT FOR YOURSELF 😭😭😭
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