#who needs to go to the gym when theres ICE SKATING... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice · 4 years

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so 2020 is officially here and i’ve left my party early to do some INTROSPECTION and SELF ASSESSMENT can i get a hell yeah ??

i’ve started this blog here mainly for myself; i want to see how i progress with certain elements of my life and i think i need somewhere to write down my gotdamn feelings. obviously tumblr is free

i’m setting some goals for the decade right now. a decade is a long time so these are some big goals (plus some little goals)

1. get through university

im 21 and ive only just started university. when i left sixth form the thought of all that debt made me weep so i thought fuck that noise and got an apprenticeship. luckily for me my apprenticeship was incredible and i love my job to bits and now theyre paying for me to do my bachelors in chemistry. ITS SO HARD THOUGH!!!!!! i am very out of practice as a student so the existence of studyblrs is a godsend.. this blog may turn into a bit of a studyblr

2. keep playing piano

earlier this year i bought a piano on a whim (potentially not my most sound financial investment. it was 600 quid) thankfully ive actually practised a lot and im quite proud of what ive achieved (being able to play moonlight sonata and the piano from amelie is a highlight) and i definitely want to keep it up but i have a habit of just giving up for no damn reason. my focus drifts and i never go back. piano brings me a sense of peace and pride and i really do not want to give that up though, so come 2030 i gotta be a pro okay? right

3. write my novel

this might seem like a stupid and unrealistic goal to just pluck out of nowhere but i’ve had this story and these characters running around in my head for sometime now. i havent come up with a sufficient plot summary because its all so abstract in my brain and i need to get these bastard characters out on a page so they can stop disturbing my thoughts

4. learn a language

i say learn a language - i’ve already gotten pretty deep into two languages, russian and swedish and i was quite good at them like conversational at least, but then of course i didnt practice and i got out of the habit and now im like barely remembering any of it. i can barely speak english on a bad day and i am english. so im gonna put my goddamn memrise pro subscription to good fucking use or im gonna have to go back to that demonic stalker hell bird from duolingo

5. lose weight/get fit

over the last couple of years i have put on a lot of weight. i think it might be a combination of getting used to full adult working hours, stress of moving out and becoming dependent purely on my own damn self and not knowing how to cook and kind of just enjoying life a bit too much (not that you shouldnt enjoy life, i mean that i go out and eat and drink far far too often) i dont necessarily want to ‘get skinny’, i just want to be proud of my body and happy with the things it can do. for this ive got a couple of ‘sub goals’:

learn to cook like a normal human being

start going to the gym (that is IN MY BUILDING and also FREE)

try barre balance classes

finally for the love of god, go back and relearn ice skating

6. work on my mental health

so after seven years (!!!) of having some pretty bad issues and low points etc etc. i finally had something of a mental breakdown in june this year. turns out pretending that everything is fine is not a long term solution. so with a bit of help from my mum, i am now in therapy. and boy there is a lot going on. things i hadn’t even thought about since i was a child are actually still affecting me in a big way??? what bullshit. childhood trauma seemed like something that happened to other people and not in my real life. but im working through it. its going to be a long haul journey and theres so much i havent even begun to try to deal with, but if i can stay on the right track and work through it all i’ll be happy. i know its not something that can be like fixed and done with, so if i can just find the will to carry on with everything i’ll be pleased

OKAY, so these are my long term goals. im trying not to put too much pressure on myself to do all of this all the time. maybe ill have a week where i learn 6000 songs on the piano and nothing else. thats cool. although i think uni work may be a bit of a priority that i need to push myself on....

but anyway, to anyone who reads this inane ramble, i hope you have a gorgeous 2020 and a roaring 20′s decade and remember -

stay sexy

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yoongis-chubby-cheeks · 6 years

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Heyyyyy how would bts react to you getting hurt while they’re on your and not telling them

sorry i havent done a reaction in a while lmao… this might be really bad since im out of practice, sorry for taking so damn long …

Namjoon:‘So call me tomorrow?’ Namjoon asked as you smiled at his face on your phone screen. You were video calling just before you went to bed, as you did most days when he was away on tour.‘Mm, it might be a bit later though and i dont want you staying up too late.’ You said fondly.‘No, I can stay awake to see you. Why will you be later?’ He tilted his head sleepily.‘I just have to go to the hospital for a check up on my leg-‘‘The hospital?!’ Namjoon suddenly looked completely awake. ‘What happened?’‘It’s nothing too serious,’ you shook your head. ‘It was just I tripped on the stairs and um, broke my leg.’‘And didn’t tell me?!’ His eyes were wide with concern. ‘Are you okay? Do you need me to come home?’‘No, babe, you know you couldn’t come home anyway. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.’Namjoon rubbed his temple as he sighed. ‘Ah, you stress me out babe, but if you say you’re okay then I’ll believe you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, tell me how the appointment goes?’You nodded, smiling widely. ‘I’ll let you know. Goodnight babe, I love youu.’Namjoon chuckled. ‘I love you too, sleep well.’

Seokjin:You hadn’t even told your boyfriend about your broken arm, and it wasn’t until you were facetiming the next day that he found out.‘Princess, what’s that on your arm?’ His face was pixelated and his voice laggy, but his worry was evident.You held up your arm, showing the cast on it with a sheepish look on your face. You saw his eyes go shocked, and the cogs turning in his head as he tried to figure out what happened. ‘I fell over in the bathroom..’ ‘Why-what-how come you didn’t say anything?’You shrugged. ‘I didn’t want you to get stressed over it. You kinda overreact whenever i get hu-‘‘Overreact?!’ Seokjin shook his head, an incredulous look on his face. ‘I ought to be coming home right now, what if you need help with something? What if you need to get to the hospital quickly?’‘Seokjinnie, dont be so worried. Everything is fine. F/N’s helping me out with stuff.’Seokjin narrowed his eyes. ‘You’re worse than our Namjoonie, even he hasn’t slipped and broke a-‘ He stopped speaking as soon as you pouted. ‘Ah, seriously.’ He chuckled.‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Seokjinnie.’ You said cutely with a wide smile. ‘I love you.’‘Goodnight princess.’ He sighed. ‘I love you more.’

Yoongi:‘facetime me?’ Yoongi’s text came onto your phone screen and you tutted, typing out a reply.‘I cant rn, im sorry :(‘ Your phone then ding-ed immediately.‘oh really? ;)’ You chuckled at your boyfriend’s dirty mind. ‘did someone get lonely..?’‘min yoongi, you are a dirty man. its nothing like what you’re thinking, theres just something on my face..’ ‘what? whyyyy, i dont care what you look like i just want to see my sweet baby and hear her voice~’ ‘sweet-talking wont help you XD if you call i wont pick up’ you replied quickly. Nevertheless, your phone began to ring and Yoongi’s contact popped up. You clicked decline immediately, and the ringing stopped, before it began to ring again… and again. Frustrated, you decided to pick it up to get him to shut up. ’I knew it would work.’ Yoongi smirked as his face came into view.‘You little shit.’ You laughed. You saw Yoongi’s expression go dark when you flipped the camera button to make it face you.‘What the hell is that? Did you fight someone? Who do i need to murder? How-‘‘Yoongi!’ You had to interrupt the bombardment of questions. “I literally dropped a box on my face, that’s why there’s a bruise. I was getting it down from a shelf.‘Ah, you little… you stress me out, Y/N.’ he exhaled loudly. ‘I hate you.’‘You love me.’ you teased. ‘Damnit, you’re right.’ Yoongi smiled back.

Hoseok:Hoseok was ravenously eating noodles when he picked up your call, but when he saw the cast covering your wrist, he almost choked.‘Angel! What happened to your wrist?! Do you need me to come and take care of you? Are you-’‘Babe, babe, slow down! It’s not that bad, I promise. I just kinda…’ you paused, fiddling with your sleeve. ‘It was really icy outside, and i tried to ice skate. Long story short, I fell over, as you might be able to tell.’Hoseok’s expression had turned from one of extreme concern to one of fond amusement. ‘I leave you alone for a week…’‘It wasn’t my fault, okay!’ You pretended to whine, but ended up laughing at your boyfriend’s expression.‘You tell yourself that.’ Hoseok grinned. ‘Have you eaten yet? I left some of your favourite in the freezer.’You smiled at his caring nature, but tilted your head. ‘Can i have some of your stash of-‘‘Absolutely not.’ he cut you off. ‘If I come home and even one of my snacks is missing, there is going to be hell to pay for you, missy.’You suddenly put on a pained expression. “Ah, I think my wrist-‘After a moment of worry, Hoseok sighed. ‘You’re a devil, but i still love you.’You beamed. ‘I love you too, Hobi.’

Jimin:You were having your daily conversation over text with your boyfriend Jimin who was away on tour.‘so, anything new princess??’‘not really, except from i sprained my ankle in the gym.’‘YOU WHAT’Immediately, your phone began to buzz, and you sighed, knowing how worked up Jimin was going to get about it. As soon as you clicked accept, your boyfriend’s voice blasted through your earphones.‘Baby what the hell why wouldnt you tell me?? How bad is it- oh my god, did it hurt? Do you need me? Literally on my way home now, dont even-‘‘JIMIN!’ He paused. ‘Babe, i only made a sound just then cause my volume was so damn loud and it hurt my ears. Im fine, i promise!’There was a silence as Jimin tried to evaluate your tone and figure out if you were being truthful. He must have decided you weren’t lying, and he sighed quietly in relief.‘I swear to god, one day you’re gonna give me a fricking heart attack.’You giggled softly, and from Jimin’s slow exhale of breathe you could tell that the sound of your laughter had put him at ease.‘Princess, won’t you tell me next time you hurt yourself? You know i’ll never be too busy to care, i love you alright?’‘Thank you Jiminie.’ You smiled, even though Jimin couldn’t see you. ‘I love you too.’

Taehyung:Taehyung’s icon popped up on your phone screen as it rang, and you grinned with excitement, knowing that this was going to be the last time you would call your boyfriend while he was away on tour, since he was returning the next day.‘Taehyungie!’‘Baby! How have you been today?’ Taehyung’s expression mirrored your own as you brought the phone up to your face. Suddenly, his eyes widened in shock, and you remembered the bruise on your cheek.‘I’m fine baby, and so happy to see you tomorrow!’‘What’s that bruise from?’ He tilted his head. ‘Not that I care about you or anything, i’m just wondering.’You scoffed. ‘Okay, don’t laugh at me.’ A teasing smile began to creep onto Taehyung’s face. ‘What did you do, was it really dramatic?’‘I fell out of bed.’ You interrupted him with a sigh. There was silence, then your boyfriend’s laughter was filling the room from your phone speaker. ‘You’re so mean.’ You complained, but Taehyung was too busy facepalming.‘You are an actual idiot. Try not to get any more injured tonight before i get home you dork.’‘You’re a bully, but a cute bully.’ You shook your head fondly. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

Jungkook:It was the day that your boyfriend was finally returning from a long time away at tour, and you couldn’t wait to finally hug him again. You might have a bit of trouble re-enacting the cheesy airport reunition scene though, since you had recently broke your foot after tripping in a dent in the road and you were on crutches. As soon as Jungkook emerged from the crowd of security and fans, his eyes shot open, no longer looking jetlagged. He rushed over to you and dropped his bag on the floor before engulfing you in a hug.‘Jungkookie!’ You grinned at him as he pulled away from you, but he still looked worried.‘What happened baby? Are you okay? How come you didn’t tell me?’ he questioned.You shook your head. ‘It’s nothing to worry about, I just kinda tripped and fell. It’s only a little break.’‘A break? You broke your leg and didn’t think to let me know?’ Jungkook seemed exasperated as he picked up his bag again and the two of you began to walk.‘I didn’t want to stress you Kookiee. I didn’t want you to get distracted, its not like im the main priority in your life-‘‘Um, one, what the fuck. Two, what the fuck? Yes you are.’ Jungkook reached over and booped your nose. ‘You always will be you idiot.’You smiled brightly. You had sure missed your boyfriends presence in your life.‘What are you smiling about? We still have to sit in the car for another hour back home.’‘I know.’ You looked over at him. ‘I’m just happy to have you back.’

-admin e (thank you all for sticking by me even when i havent been posting, you guys actually mean the world to me, i love you all so so so so so so so much)

#bts #bts reactions #bangtan boys #bangtan boys reactions #bangtan #bangtan reactions #beyond the scene #bts fluff

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wormvalentine444 · 6 years

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if u wanna know how my year went

anyway 2017 was far worse for me than 2016 2016 I had a couple jobs at least and I was thriving for the most part even though I was using alcohol to drown out my trauma from breaking up with my abuser in 2015. I had friends and I went out and it was good. in 2017 I spent the whole first half of the year drowning in an eating disorder and trying to find a job, going to many many interviews and always failing. in 2017 I had two “best friends” that I introduced to each other so we could all be friends together but they would constantly trigger the fuck out of me (one of them unintentionally but I'm pretty sure the other intentionally) so I would spend all my time locked in my house starving myself because I didn’t feel worthy enough to hang out with them until I was skinny but obvs you can’t survive on 500 calories a day (and burning it all off at the gym) forever so I starting b/ping and I did it every single day. i’m surprised I didn't die tbh. and I'd look on snapchat and see my two best friends hanging out together and living and having fun while I was wasting away. anyway I cut them off but summer is always terrible because my boyfriend is an alcoholic and I just spent the whole summer feeling this weird mix of missing out and also being angry at the fact that he’s an alcoholic. like I get this weird feeling that I want to be an alcoholic too because when I was in 2016 I was my happiest and people liked me and I experienced a lot and life was better. but my eating disorder wouldn’t let me drink and I just didn’t want to sink down that whole again I guess. and my boyfriend had this TERRIBLE roommate and his house was absolutely filthy all the time and they would drink every single day it was so fucking toxic and disgusting. beer cans and moldy dishes and fruit flies everywhere. and I hated his roommate too and I still do he’s my boyfriends best friend and he’s a shitty fucking person. he’s racist sexist and homophobic and fucking full of himself. and my boyfriend would never come over to my house so I always had to go there and his roommate would not ever leave us alone so in order to hang out with my boyfriend I HAD to hang out with this shitty fucking dude and watch them drink disgusting beer and play videogames I hated and talk in their shitty little inside jokes that were so unfunny. I felt like a third wheel and I felt disgusting in that house. LUCKILY he found a girlfriend and moved out asap and my boyfriend asked me to move in so I did (it took weeks to clean the place btw). I moved in in august then started going to university in September after not being in school for two years. and I guess this huge change in my life so quickly just took a toll on my brain. for the first few weeks I felt NOTHING I was so disassociated and depersonalized all the time. it felt like hell but it was nothing compared to what was coming. in September I had my first real panic attack. I thought my friends had drugged me with acid. it really felt like I was going to die. I felt so dizzy and disorientated and just terrified. I went to the ER and they told me nothing was wrong. after that I'd always be almost having a panic attack all the time, like one was about to come at any time. after that I had many mini ones and another big one in November where I called the ambulance because I thought I got poisoned. this is around the time I started to get agoraphobia. I tried to go to class but when I did I would get the symptoms of a panic attack and I'd have to leave class (hot flashes, dizziness, dp/dr) and by the end of it I just stopped going to school. I dropped out of my art class (mostly because I hated that we were only painting boxes and I'd just rather use the expensive supplies for my own art) and I missed one of my final exams. most likely I can get it deferred but it’s possible I can’t. for my final portfolio in English I have to write two short stories and 3 poems and I haven’t started any of them yet and they were due on MONDAY with two docked marks each day. I don’t know why I haven’t started. I feel so disassociated and out of it I just keep sleeping all day and binge eating. my philosophy final is on the 22nd and I hope I'm able to leave the house because I haven’t been able to leave the house in weeks. sometimes even leaving my room is too much. the house is a mess again and it makes me feel disgusting. I keep trying to starve but it doesn’t work I'm too stressed. I got prescribed Paxil but I'm too scared to try them. I also got prescribed klonopin and im almost out and I honestly don’t know what I'm going to do without them. I think I might die. Christmas is coming up and I don’t want to go to parties I just want to hide. everything is too much right now. that was my 2017 folks just delayed trauma from my 3 year abusive rleationship that ended in 2015!!! good things that happened in 2017: seeing bob Dylan live in July, going to the rocky horror picture show on halloween with my two best friends and my boyfriend and then afterwards seeing my favourite local band play and having one of the members tell me I had a good vibe, seeing Andy shauf live and crying the whole time and meeting him afterwards. I made two really awesome friends who are both aries and we started a band together!!! I reconnected with my best friend and she moved and now lives a 15 min walk from me!! in 2018 I'm going to try and lose weight healthily I'm going to buy ice skates and go skating on Sunday by myself and I'm going to walk to school everyday and maybe go to the gym and weight train sometimes and I'm going to eat 1000-1200 calories (I know it’s still kinda low but it’s better than what I initially planned) and I'm going to start hula hooping too and I'm going to buy roller skates in the summer. one I lose enough weight I'm going to try and build muscle so I can be strong I'm going to an ear nose and throat doctor at the end of January because I have fluid in my ears which may be causing some of my dizziness which is one of my panic attack triggers. I'm also going to a psychiatrist at the end of January and hopefully get a nice cocktail of drugs that will help me. I’’m really hoping for Wellbutrin or something that combats fatigue because that will really help me so so so much. I'm also seeing chad vangaalen for the third time in January!!! I'm going to try and do better this term and keep up on all my school work. I'm taking biology which is my favourite and I'm really excited!! I'm going to try harder than I've ever tried before to find a job. I might have to wait till February to clear my mind a bit and become more mentally well. I'm going to make a lot of art and make prints of it and sell it all in the summer!!! it’s one of my dreams to be able to make some money off my art but right now I just don’t have enough of it. I'm going to try and make it my goal to do some art everyday. I'm also going to get back into music because it’s one thing depression took from me. every time my boyfriends at work I'm going to practice music and eventually I want to make an album of my own and one of my goals of 2018 is to perform on a stage for the first time. I'm scared me and me boyfriend are going to eventually break up. My aquarius moon wants to live on my own so so so so bad but my venus cancer needs companionship. also I can’t afford any bachelor suites or anything anyways. I love my boyfriend so much and we are best friends but his friends are so so so so so toxic. a lot of his friends I dislike but most of them I love dearly but they are all alcoholics and some are coke addicts and I just hate being around that kind of stuff so much :( I hate the anxiety of going to a prrty and knowing theres going to be coke there because I got slightly addicted but I know I can’t do it because I have heart problems and it could easily kill me. sometimes I get too drunk and I don’t care and do it anyways and thats so fucking dangerous. my boyfriend is a social person and needs to hang out with his friends all the time but they can never hang out sober. they ALWAYS drink and thats such a toxic friendship tbh and it makes me really upset and drinking causes pretty much %100 of our fights but you can’t really change someone he told me he’d go to counselling for me but how are you supposed to quit/slow down on drinking when all of your friends drink every single day......so as much as I love him I feel that his friends and his alcoholism are eventually going to lead to our end, but I'm trying to be optimistic. I hate a lot of things and I hate a lot of people and I'm going to try and change that because I feel like I'm such a Debbie downer all of the time. people annoy me easily and I get mad easily and I'm so irritable. maybe pills will help with that. I'm going to try and make more friends that I enjoy the company of and maybe they’ll make me a better person I told myself 2017 would be the year of glowing up but I didn’t at all. moving out and going to school is an achievement but I feel like personally I have made no progress at all. I feel so stuck. I want to grow. I'm going to try my hardest to grow this year.

#rant #ed tw #I have no one else to talk to

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